#I can retire this year I've hit all my bird goals

[tea-time-terrier]

A Bobolink!!! One of my lowkey bird goals for the year!

[ns-games]

MMXXIV

It's the end of 2023. Honestly, I cannot say this has been a great year for me. While I've done my best to try and keep things moving forward, I've been very bogged down by a major life changing event that has caused a lot of negative emotion over the year.

What Happened? For those that haven't heard, my father passed away suddenly in May. And to say it's been anything less than an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. I've done my best to keep my composure in public and online, but I'd be lying if I said that I haven't been feeling depressed about it the past several months. Although that feeling seems to have hit some in my family harder than others. But we've been doing our best to try and help each other out, and to keep our family traditions, and my father's memory alive.

What does this mean going forward? While I usually like to start off a new year with a bunch of goals in mind, and a plan to get things rolling. This year it means I'll still pretty much have those same goals, but I also have my father's estate to keep up with, which is also going to take up a good chunk of my time.

The story pretty much goes like this. In December of 2000 my father bought a home for himself, his children, and his son-to-be wife and her children. Between 2007 and 2010, he had the house expanded to accommodate all the children that were living there. Unfortunately, he divorced in 2015, leaving him with this now big empty house.

The plan was that he was going to retire this year and my brother and I were going to help him sell and move out of that house, and move into a new house that was a bit more manageable. With my father's unfortunate passing, my brother and I have now inherited this house. And our plan at this point is to do what was originally planned. Sell the house and my brother and I will use the money to buy our own homes. So, we've been spending many weekends at the house cleaning it up, repairing a few odds and ends, and moving anything we want to keep from the house into storage. And this has taken up a huge portion of our time to do. And even still, we’ve got a lot more work ahead of us once the house sells.

Unfortunately, there's still a lot of legal stuff that my brother and I have been dealing with that has yet to be settled. So, my plan this year is to try and get the estate settled by April (so that we can get the taxes out of the way as well), get the house sold and then start looking at nearby homes I can put a down payment on. Truth be told, I don't want to move too far away from my mother at this point, but the way things are, I know I'm going to need my own space sooner or later.

What about any of the other goals? Well, like in years past, I still have other goals in mind for my own personal works. Actually, this kind of goes into things that are happening at work. Not that I want to reveal too much, but some leadership and ownership changes have been taking place. And while I’ve been reassured that my job is pretty much safe, you really can’t be too careful. So, like in years past, I’ve said that I’ve wanted to work on getting a video game demo built at some point. I think that may be the ”kick in the rear” I need to get working on that. Mainly, I’d like to try and get a fully working level of Jamal The Bombardier Bird up and working before the end of next year. If all goes well, that could either be something for Malamite’s and my portfolio going forward, or it can be something we flesh out into a fully working game that we can put on the market.

In terms of artwork, for the past several years I’ve been using Adobe Animate to render most of my drawings. But it’s been becoming more and more apparent over the years that this comes with limitations. Especially when it comes down to things like shading. This month, I decided to look into using raster graphics applications to try and render my Holiday art projects. And I think the results are good enough to continue pursuing the use of applications other than Adobe Animate going forward. That’s not to say I’d be dumping Animate entirely though, as vector graphics are still very useful when it comes down to things such as graphic design.

What about things health-wise? Those that follow me on Twitter/X may have seen that I visited a physician in late July. This is the first time I’d seen a general practitioner since 2008. Mainly in fear of just how bad my overall health is. And yeah, in addition to high blood pressure (which I’ve already been well aware of) it was confirmed to me that I’m morbidly obese, have high cholesterol, and that I’m pre-diabetic. I was asked to drop 5lbs by the end of August, but I was so frustrated that I started heavily fasting and dropped 15lbs. Now at the end of the year, I’m down a total of 30lbs. I’m hoping that by the end of 2024 I can be down another 50lbs which should bring me to around an even 200lbs.

That said, I was prescribed a medication to bring down my blood pressure and cholesterol level, and I refused to take it over concerns I had with the side-effects the pharmacist told me about. I don’t have a great history when it comes down to prescription drugs either. And instead of my physician trying to address some of these concerns, they instead told me that I need to either take the medication or find a new physician. Since they didn’t want my poor health to reflect on their record. So, I cancelled my next appointment with them, and I’ll need to find a new physician after the new year starts.

Conclusion So yeah, I can’t call 2023 a great year. I mean, when you lose someone as close to you as your father, could any of you really say anything different? But out of all the negative things that happened this year, there are many silver linings. And my hope is that going into 2024 that I can turn those silver linings into positive change going forward.

I wish you all a happy new year, and let’s make the best of 2024 as we possibly can!

-Nextsoft Games Happy New Year

[hayleyb100]

Updraft, Part 2

PART 1

⚠️Heads up:

-Everything is headcanon weaved on to canon

-It's a story featuring Endeavor and Inasa Yoarashi from BNHA

The morning sunlight tapped me awake. My body weighed down like an anchor and my head felt like it's been hazed. I wished the morning just wouldn't come, but again, like always, the sun rose. There wasn't a hint of energy in me to push on for another day to fight off the villains... when no one appreciated it. 

I've lost count of how long it's been since Dabi... No, Touya reappeared after all those years I thought he died. It was supposed to be the most touching day for any parents who lost their child, but due to my sins, it turned into the worst nightmare for myself, my family, and the whole of society. My sins brought ruins to the heroes. With growing disbelief towards heroes due to my acts, a good hero named Death Arms made retirement, pouring gasoline into the collapse. I received the undeserving title of No. 1 hero so pathetically, and I am sure living up to it. Going down in flames with the title hero I so desperately wanted to be. My flame not only burned the hooded Nomu but the whole order too.

I wanted to give everything up and run away, but if the No. 1 hero does, the hero society will get torn apart. I know that villains are the ones waiting for that the most so I couldn't do that either. The weight of the title crushed me, and I was so ashamed for being so oblivious to what All Might was fighting with on his shoulder. And with the goal of becoming the No. 1 hero vanishing in front of my eyes, I was like a boat without wind on its sail, just floating aimlessly on the ocean. The hideous emptiness and disillusionment devoured me. I completely lost what I've been reaching for. I reached the peek soaking my hands in others' tears, but it was an empty, freezing peek of Everest with nothing around but shackles of the highest mockery. Was it worth all that? Straying my family, pushing Touya and my wife to breaking point, destroying the hero society that I never even constructed, and... There was no one to complain either, as I brought this upon myself with reeking greed. In fact, I was disgusted at myself, already feeling worn out, when there are still light years ahead to repent all I did. 

I sighed dragged myself out of the bedding, changed and walked out. The wall was covered with flyers and graffiti cursing me as a disgrace of heroes. I read them briefly and passed by as there are villains to stop. I knew what was on there but I couldn't ignore it, as they're all that I have to swallow for what I did in the past. It was a tough pill, but who can complain?

"You okay there, No. 1?" the bird man's voice sounded exceptionally disturbing today. What the heck is the meaning of that question anyways? He was right there, at the sight, the grand ballroom where I got stoned by the media. He knows Touya returned in the worst form possible. Does he expect me to be fine after that? I looked at him for a brief moment and pushed on to patrol.

"No need to be a meanie who ignores-" he chuckled as he trailed me.

"I never asked for a backup." I snapped, feeling irritated as if his feathers are tickling my nose. 

"I hate to admit but we're cornered," Hawks sighed. 

"We need to gather not scatter especially at times like this."

I said nothing as he was right, but it didn't mean it annoyed me less. I was already worn out to rock bottom and now I have to pretend I'm alright all while doing my job. It was... too much to ask. 

"I'm still rooting for you, No. 1. No matter what they say."

His words really got to my nerves this time and a little flame glared on my scar. No offense, but his smug grin makes his intention questionable all the time. I almost grabbed him and shoot him flying with my flame just to be alone. Ironic, because I was suffering under torturing loneliness but still wanted time to myself. 

It was after we finished the daily patrol that I got hit by an empty can. There they were again, the protestors who yell for the disappearance of fake heroes. 

"Don't let it get to you." Hawks closed his eyes turning away from the crowd. 

The moments like this are when I hate being a human being. I am the one at fault yet my heart still screams for help. No matter how much time I scold myself that there is so much I need to do to make it right again and that I shouldn't run away, my heart was already giving out. Feeble. So feeble. When I was a monster to my family, I didn't even feel a thing, but now I'm brimming with emotions. The double side of mine made me feel nauseous. I hate myself. I despise myself so much...

"STOP!!"

That's when I heard a voice that nearly tore my ears, followed by a powerful gale that blew all the garbage they'd been tossing away. 

"Everyone, just STOP PLEASE!"

It was the boy from Shiketsu, who took the redemption course for Provisional Hero License with Shoto. I didn't give much thought to him apart from how much blood-coated he was as he told me he'll support me. Never I've imagined he would barge in between the crowd and me to shield me. 

"It's none of your business, boy! Get lost!" One of the protestors yelled.

'Yes, it doesn't concern you,' I thought too.

'Just go your merry way and everything will be fine.' 

"No! Please, stop it! I won't let you hurt him!" 

"Isn't that a Shiketsu hat? Means you're a hero trainee, so why are you guarding that disgusting fake hero!" 

"HE IS A HERO TO ME!!"

Not sure if it is because of how loud his voice was, but my heart throbbed at the words. Hero? Me?

"The fight he had against the hooded Nomu was the display of true hero... Risking their lives and pushing their limits to overcome evil to save the day! He has it, the fire of a hero in his heart! Even now, he is STILL HERE as a hero after facing the most embarrassing flaw of his! The majority of people try every means to run away from their faults as that's zillion times easier! But he is here. Here to FACE IT! That's the bravest thing I've ever seen someone do! I know it is hard to forgive, so I won't even ask you to do that! But I'll say this because I lingered hating someone without trying to know about them for so long and realized how stupid it was! AT LEAST DON'T DISCOURAGE SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO REDEEM! These things aren't like flipping your hand, so PLEASE GIVE HIM THE TIME HE NEEDS!"

the boy bowed to the crowd in place of me. The crowd fell silent and soon scattered grumbling.

I felt like my breath stopped for his whole speech. 

No. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve someone standing on your ground. You're a fake hero. A foul person...

That's what my head said, but my heart felt indescribable consolation. 

"Are you okay, Endeavor??" the boy turned to me and asked.

"...You shouldn't have. Why did you do that?" there I was again, not being honest when I was grateful to be speechless.

The boy quietly stared at me, as if he is seeing through me. He soon beamed ear to ear.

"Remember I said I will be rooting for you? I meant it! And I'll support you in every way!"

His smile was so bright that it stung. My heart felt like it was tearing apart into the smallest bits but with that, maybe not so much anymore. It's been a while since I've seen any child of his age smile at me. Forget my kids, but I was so arrogant to push away any child fans that a kid's smile is a fantasy. 

His ragged Shiketsu hat was also a pain in my heart. I know it's a school rule in Shiketsu to always wear the uniform hat along with the hero costume, meaning he also was facing a tough time guarding the city. When it was my fault that students had to go to the front line of defense, he still wore that face on me. 

"Thank you." was probably all I could say. 

"No problem!" he replied even louder. 

"Oh, oh!! Hold up!" the boy seemed to have remembered something and started digging into his school bag. He soon pulled out what seem to be goggles. 

Can I have your...

Autograph?!

My heart sank. Why did I not remember him when he was so loud? How is he wearing that face to me and say those words when I stomped on his heart with my stupidity and haughtiness? 

"See? It isn't so bad to have fans." Hawks chuckled.

"And why not? Even if it doesn't mean a complete repenting yet, having somebody to recognize and cheer you can do wonders."

I hate it when he talks senses. I really do. But today, I couldn't deny it. I'll just let him take the win. Now I really can't stop the work of atonement, seeing that innocent boy who wholeheartedly believes I would. I quietly continued the patrol as the bird man followed me.

_____________ The fire cause updraft in the wind to soar higher, the wind fans and fuels the fire to burn brighter.