#I can relate. most of the friendships I've had with guys have been about like that actually. sdfkjhsdkfjhskdjfh

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

i think my biggest beef with "Miss Scarlet and the Duke" is just the general awareness of the characters. I get that the entire point of the show is about a lady detective attempting to make her way in a man's world and having to fight her way through sexism prejudice and injustice for every single victory she claims, but there's a level of... modernity? to a lot of the issues addressed that just... doesn't quite flow with the setting and the rest of the writing, imho.

like--the female characters talk about how they can't do anything of importance because they're women, the gay characters talk about how they're 'outcasts of society' and 'marked for life' because of their sexuality, the misogynist male characters flaunt their male privilege over everyone, loudly, with extreme awareness. idk, it all just seems very much like inflicting modern views and opinions onto historical characters who couldn't possibly have the context to actually hold those views?

and don't get me wrong, I am not saying that these issues didn't exist in that time period. they did, and they were very real, and the people who faced them really did have to struggle in ways we'll not fully understand because we enjoy so much freedom today that had to be hard-won by previous generations. but there... was a bit of balance, I think, in a lot of ways? for instance, women weren't allowed to hold political power, but they had enormous social power. and I think a lot of that is overlooked and glossed-over in order to make a big loud statement about historical sexism and give a lot of snappy dialogue about how 'it's a man's world' and 'how DARE a woman do ANYTHING'.

and I say all this with caveats, too, because I just blazed through all of season 1 in two days, and I actually am enjoying the show! Eliza and William are both really fun characters, and I love their dynamic with one another! there's a lot of good stuff too in respect to how neither of them are fully clear-cut people with simplistic moral and ethical codes, they're not cardboard cut-outs but actual characters, and I appreciate that. and I appreciate that there are women of diverse backgrounds who want various different things from life and they're all represented equally and with dignity--same of the male characters. and I do think there's a historical precedent for a lot of the things that are brought up in the episodes! there's real history here. but I think the writers are missing some of the real depth of it for the sake of boiling everything down to focusing on One Specific Topic (ie, anti-woman sexism, social injustice, and general misogyny in the past and the struggle to be seen as An Actual Valid Professional as a woman in a career and profession completely dominated by men). and in a lot of ways, when the story really gets lost in itself and stops trying so hard to be About Sexism, it's a lot more immersive and enjoyable.

again, all just imho.

[epiphainie]

Hey, I know you said you don't wanna get into fandom discourse so feel free to ignore this but I wanted to add something to you metioning yesterday how people talk about Bucktommy always bringing in bvddie/eddie somehow. I feel like a lot of people also expect this from canon including Bucktommy fans? like all the posts about which one will feel like the third wheel or which one's gonna get jealous over the other two spending time together and I find that kind of weird. I don't know if I got my point across but you know what I mean?

Hi anon,

Yeah, I think I get what you mean. Gotta say what I saw in my little corner of the BuckTommy fandom, people are usually having fun with those situations/headcanons than actually expecting something out of canon. But I can guess how a certain part of the fandom really thinks how Buck's relationship with Eddie in the context of BuckTommy must be addressed by the show. And I agree with you in that I find this expectation odd because why must they?

Is it because Buck is into men now that his significant other must address how he is/isn't okay with his friendship with another man? This was never an issue or even a topic of conversation in the narrative for Taylor so I cannot think of any other reason for why it would be for Tommy. Or on the flip side, is it because Buck is dating a man now that Eddie will feel like his time with Buck is being limited? Buck has been in a relationship for the most part of their friendship, why would this one be different that the narrative would need to address it?

I think in general in the fandom, regardless of whether people ship them or not, there's this sentiment that Bvddie has such a special relationship that needs to be addressed by their romantic partners / lampshaded by the narrative which strikes me as odd. Not because they don't have a special relationship - they have a very special relationship - but because the perception and related expectations over how the canon should treat this relationship is very different from something like say Hen and Chim. For every very intense Buck and Eddie story beat in this show, you have an equally insane Hen and Chim one. But you don't see anyone reading that relationship as something that needs to be acknowledged (as a threat or something they're okay with) by their spouses. It's an emotionally codependent friendship between a straight man and a lesbian. Not that sexual compatibility matters but they are not interested in each other that way and their partners don't even think about that.

So why would this be any different for Buck (a bi man) and Eddie (a straight man)? Like, even the idea that it must be acknowledged differently by the narrative kinda brings me back to negative stereotypes about queer men and their straight friends even though I know most people don't mean it that way.

Honestly, I kinda think it just comes back to fandoms' urge to read the intensity of relationships as romantic when it comes to two attractive men in a way we don't do with other characters. I say we because I've had my share of fandoms and almost exclusively shipped the two guys who were not canon; we just read more into these relationships regardless of whether we actively ship it or not. Like I said, Hen and Chim have some of the insanest relationship moments in this show. Like, can you imagine if something like Jonah happened to Buck and he thinks he's gonna hurt Tommy to get to him but he actually has Eddie and tortures him in front of Buck? Or if Eddie opposes Buck and Tommy getting married like Hen did with Maddie, for example. They would most certainly be read as romantic even if we had the same textual explanation as we did with Hen and Chim.

But the truth is, there is no relationship hierarchy. Platonic relationships can be as deep as romantic ones, what sets them apart is not the degree to how intense they can be, it's the flavor. And as it stands, I don't think the show treats Buck and Eddie's relationship with any different flavor than it does Hen and Chim despite how we treat it in the fandom. And sure, this does not mean realistically no love interest would be weirded out by their friendship (and negative stereotypes about bi people exist in the lgbtq community as well so that could happen too) but I don't see why the narrative would need to go there with Tommy. Like, what would be the purpose of it in-story? The acknowledgment of it would just further perpetuate the queer man in love with his bff thing that we know they said they don't wanna do. They should (and imo will) treat it as they do treat the other platonic relationships on the show.

I'm sorry, this got derailed at one point but whatever, send.

[firebreathfishslap]

sorry I just finished my fifth(!) playthrough of tales of the abyss so i'm going to be extremely annoying about it for a bit

this is entire game spoilers, obviously

something I don't think i've ever really appreciated until this replay is just how complex Guy is as a character, and particularly the little subtleties in how his moods change. he's both very open and not open at all about his feelings. being with Luke makes him a better person, sometimes because he's in that caretaker/coddling mode where he lets Luke get away with shit when he shouldn't be, but also because Luke is his friend and he cares about him a lot

and one thing that really stuck out to me in this playthrough is WOW, GUY CAN'T STAND ASCH

I don't think it takes a lot of particularly complex analysis to pick up on this but something that becomes really apparent during Asch's brief time in the party + whenever Asch shows up afterwards is that Guy isn't really interested in playing nice with him. He's not exactly getting combative with him, but he's noticeably more serious whenever Asch is around and is not at all interested in spending time with him. There's a really noticeable tension during Asch's brief time as party lead with the whole party, but Guy ducking out early is clearly him deciding that he does not care for Asch and thinks he should be by Luke's side during his lowest point

And I think the reasons for why Guy does not like Asch are pretty clear cut, and Guy literally spells a couple of these things out to Luke a few times throughout the game

Guy and Luke are friends, Guy and Asch are not. Whatever potential friendship the two of them could have had was tainted by Guy's revenge plot (which specifically involved killing Asch in front of Duke Fabre!!! fucked up!!!). When Asch was "kidnapped" and Luke came back in his place, suddenly Guy was responsible for raising Luke, and those seven years completely changed Guy's perspective, and then that perspective changed AGAIN as he would have come to realize that the person he was friends with was technically never the Duke's son to begin with

ASCH IS SO MEAN TO LUKE LIKE ALL THE TIME. He's constantly calling him names! Luke's self-esteem is in the gutter for like the entirety of Act 3 because he can only think of himself as Asch's defective replacement and is worrying about how he doesn't have a place in the world, and Asch keeps reinforcing these feelings literally every time he's on screen! That's Guy's friend he's being mean to!!!

i think there's also something to be noted about how Guy is basically the only cast member who actually brings up Luke's age in relation to his maturity. there's been a lot of drama about how Luke is seven years old and so the shipping stuff is creepy over the past, uh, 18 years, but Luke does actually act like a seventeen year old. he's not a child.

(like if we start treating Luke like he's a child then boy do I have some questions about Ion and Sync)

Guy, however, does call him a child twice, and both times are in context of trying to convince Luke that he has a whole life ahead of him. Like the big scene everyone brings up in Daath is specifically Guy trying to convince his best friend not to kill himself.

and if I'm getting into hard headcanon territory, Guy probably thinks about Luke that way specifically because he's the one who had to raise him.

anyways I'm not really going anywhere with this beyond that I think Guy and Luke's relationship and the way they play off of each other is really fascinating. I feel like Guy is the character who our understanding of changes the most over the course of the game and where it ends up by the end is really, really interesting

[thekatebridgerton]

Rewatching s3 I realized that I never actually gave my opinion on the full season to you guys.

Mostly because it was good, every single Penelope and Colin scene was well written, well paced and crafted to bring their relationship full circle. In fact if I could edit s3 into a movie I'd cut everything off and leave the 1 or 2 hours of accumlated screentime that Penelope and Colin had together. Nicola and Luke really brought their A game.

Lord Debling wasa solid character, I really liked him, at first I thought he was going to be like Theo and have no purpose other than make Colin jealous, but he stood his ground as a well developed character ( for the few episodes he was in), I'm sad that he seemingly disappeared after Penelope and Colin got together and I genuinely wish he'd have found a good bride who would write to him and take care of his estate in his absence.

Francesca's storyline with John was also very complimentary, I once said I wanted to see how Eloise related to Francesca who didn't mind being a debutante just like Daphne and I am glad they gave Francesca her own unique charm as well as her own brand of awkwardness, not as obsessed with being perfect as Daphne but also not as antagonizing as Eloise. John was just the right ammount of kind and special that you can see how much Francesca really loves him. ( I'm choosing to ignore what I know of the books and look at Francesca's meeting with Michaela as just another awkward moment Francesca suffers in front of an extrovert .. mostly because I think its weird that neither John or his staff told Michaela he was married and to a Bridgerton sparkler at that, the whole ' and you are' felt really out of place and made me scratch my head)

The featheringtons actually felt more organically integrated into the plotline because this season they are in the position of being the female lead relatives so their shenanigans actually feel more plot relevant. And add levity to what would otherwise be a very dramatic series of episodes

Now on to the things I made fun of: every scene Benedict had with Lady Tilly, is very skippable, and honestly not plot relevant, after 2 seasons of watching him hoe around, a third one is just overkill. Also lady Tilly catching feelings and Benedict activating ' I want my freedom' mode is so hilarious. Gosh I wish him a very sexually frustrated and abstinent season 4.

Eloise friendship with Cressida also felt like filler. I know I've been saying Eloise needs friends since forever but I meant Kate, or Edwina or Sophie. Cressida Cowper was..a choice. And one that ultimately added very little to Eloise character development. But hey at least Eloise tried to make friends this season, I call that a step in the right direction.

Overall it was a good season, I'm sorry if I complain a lot about the parts I didn't like, but for the most part, it was good watchable content with a few snags that can be ironed out in fanfiction. The dresses were amazing and I hope their wardrobe department gets a raise for the hard work they put in these 2 years of sewing and pattern making. Hopefully one day I'll get a documentary about the Bridgerton wardrobe department process of selecting fabrics and making dresses. It would be lovely to see.

So far that's been my very belated season 3 review. And that's the tea

[miguel-manbemel]

I've been wanting to write this thing because I think there is recently a trend of spreading rumors and canards against Thomas accusing him of so many things without any solid proof. Some of them are very easy to disprove, but others are easier to buy especially if you're predisposed against him, so I needed to make this writing to clear out some of these things that have blatantly been invented to hurt Thomas.

One, the most serious one, the pedo allegations. Some people say that Thomas started dating Leo when Leo was 17. For starters, there is no solid proof of Leo's age at all, that old site, famous birthdays, is famously unreliable, but if we take that data as truth, Leo was born on January 23, 1994, so now he would be 30 years old. Thomas and Leo never ever recognized to be in any relationship, they always called each other, both of them, best friends, they shared an apartment together and they have always been on good terms, even now Leo participated in the production of the Yours video. Even so, there's absolutely not a single photograph of them together previous to April 2012, when Leo was well over 18, an none of these photos feature them in any romantic attitude. They're just pics of two friends having fun together as the best friends they both have always claimed to be, and even in the case they had dated, they were both legal consenting adults, so it wouldn't be our business to say anything about them, especially when both of them remain in good terms and with a solid and close friendship. Plus Thomas said that he was dating one of the military guys in one of the Vines where, while he's waiting for the bus, he invites a group of soldiers to play Pokemon cards, he filmed that Vine during one visit to his boyfriend over there, and that was in 2013-2014, disproving any relation with Leo at the time.

With this said, this accusation, that was brought up back in 2016 by that old crappy group of aphobes that wanted to destroy Thomas for defending ace people as part of the LGTBQIA+ community, falls down like a house of cards. The same group that, remind you, showed some pics of Thomas supposedly grooming two teenagers in some thespian competition... the teenagers were Joan and Kyle, two of his long time best friends, but they hid their faces in an effort of trying to pass them as strangers, a futile effort because the original photo was available for everyone. They also asked what was he doing going around children in a thespian competition... not knowing perhaps that in 2012 Thomas was working as a substitute teacher in that school (remember he's a chemical engineer) so it was only natural he was there to guide people wherever they had to go. From a people as unreliable as this one, believing any other accusation from these people is being purposefully gullible for the sake of hatred, I say.

Second, some people claim that Joan left the Foster Dawg team on bad terms with Thomas and that Joan wouldn't work for Thomas anymore. This one is so easy to dismantle, because just a few weeks ago, Joan appeared in a phone prank video (with Leo, nonetheless) and has appeared in several Patreon livestreams, as funny and witty as always with Thomas, Talyn or both, also, Joan participated in the production of the Yours video, editing the color ambient, you can check it in the YouTube description where the credits are featured. And also, Joan is about to record with Thomas many Director's Commentaries for Sanders Sides videos for Patreon. For someone who is in bad terms with Thomas and wouldn't work with him again... that's a lot of participation in his projects, isn't it?

Here's the reality: Joan and Talyn had to leave Florida because of Talyn's health condition worsening. Talyn needed to go somewhere with a colder climate, as Florida's warm and humid weather was damaging for Talyn's cronic disability, which had already forced him to drop his work on Sanders Sides as makeup artist, which he *loved* doing till the end, as he said in a YouTube vlog, shortly before leaving Florida, he said he hated having to leave Sanders Sides. Joan and Talyn moved to Vermont in the nort of the country, near to the border with Canada, where the weather is much colder and, also, people is so much more accepting of trans people. There was where Talyn finally started transitioning as male. Joan at first tried to stay on Sanders Sides directing Thomas remotely, they filmed together several episodes and participated on the writing of the show up until Working Through Intrusive Thoughts, but the distance and Joan's desire to start new projects of their own made him decide to leave the team. It was never on bad terms. Joan and Thomas are still best friends. Joan has returned with Talyn to visit Thomas on Florida many times, and Thomas has gone to Vermont to see them once. Thomas and Joan still as good friends as always and whoever said Joan was on bad terms with Thomas is simply lying to spread discord and doubt. Don't pay attention to them, they're lying.

This one is more recent as it comes from the most recent video. There's this claim going out that the thumbnail of that video was made with AI and criticized Thomas for disrespecting artists with that choice. For starters, there's no solid proof that the thumbnail was made with AI, and secondly, claiming that it was without proof is disrespectful, not to Thomas, but to the thumbnail author that was credited since day one in the YouTube description of the video: Lev Ettinger. How do you thing Lev is gonna feel if he sees these claims accusing him of using AI for the art? Is that the way they try to protect artists working for Thomas?

About other things related to how he manages his business, it's not our place to tell Thomas or anyone how to manage their own business and their own property. Thomas already has a management and legal team that takes care of that stuff. It's already hard enough for Thomas to try and create content that is attractive and fun for us, and that's the only thing he should be focusing on, working-wise, not the drama that some people want to stirr because they just hate him for some reason, or simply because they enjoy the drama, there's people like that too. I'm not against honest criticism, but I'm not buying any of it if it comes from a place of lying an manipulation. In any case, I finish this long but important text with these words: "May fortune protect us from "cizañeros" (as we call bad faith manipulative gossip mongers in Spain) you never see them coming but you can see all the destruction they cause when you look behind you, if you can see past the dagger in your back."

[paragonrobits]

Princess Bubblegum, reminiscing about the events of The Tower: ...And then after I found out he had spontaneously developed telekinetic powers for the sole purpose of tearing apart the land to build a giant tower into space so he could rip off his father's arm in retribution for the loss of the original arm, I decided that SOMEONE ought to intervene. Simon Petrikov: Goodness! I had no idea he had such... ultraviolence in his heart. Marceline, pausing in the middle of sipping something drink related: ...seriously? Simon: What? Marceline: Look, I know your perspective on Finn might be a bit wonky because you mostly saw him from the best side but, I love the guy and I STILL have to tell you that, huh. How do I put this nicely? Marceline: I've been alive for over a thousand years, and I can tell you that Finn is the SINGLE most violent and bloodthirsty person I've met in my entire life. Princess Bubblegum: Oh my, yeah. Simon: Is this one of those ironic jokes that always goes over my head? Marceline: Nah. He really does like to fight. He channels it into heroic endeavors, and he doesn't like hurting people, but he LIKES breaking things. Bubblegum: Yeah. I think maybe I encouraged him to become my knight because it helped steer that drive into a helpful direction, and sometimes I think about what he might have wound up being in other situations. I mean, don't you remember that whole thing with the elements? I suppose those powers worked their way in and amplified the parts of ourselves we don't want to admit are fundamental, and with Finn... Bubblegum: He kept a lid on it, I heard, but he got bloodthirsty and consumed by it SO FAST. He was going to kill me, you know? At least until LSP woke him up with memories of friendship. Bubblegum: ...A shame the same thing didn't apply to me, I guess. Simon: Princess, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Magic messes you up if you don't adjust naturally to it. I'm kind of a case study for that. Actually, as I understand it, the crown is trying to turn its wearer into an imitation of an ice elemental so I suppose the same thing DOES apply to me. But anyway, my point is that succumbing to these powers doesn't really mean that much. Everyone falls to them somehow. Simon: But this does sort of illustrate why Finn's idea of helping me deal with my grief was to distract me by trying to help me kill a huge monster.

[eleanorose123]

the way my four fav GX characters interact can be so important to me actually lol

individual pair thoughts (not necessarily shippy so I won't tag them as such, but mainly how I've been writing them) under cut

Edo/Judai - Hero nerds to the end. Kind of a one-sided rivalry from Edo's perspective- like Judai still sees Edo as a competent Duelist and loves dueling against him, but Edo is far more...competitive about it lol Still acts smug and superior around Judai but Judai sees right through him and likes to push his buttons. They would watch hero movies and read comic books together if they had the chance, and would have plenty of healthy arguments about which of their favorite heroes would win in a fight. They've got a good friendship going at the end of the day.

Judai/Saiou - UGH, THIS ONE IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME ;;;;; They've got this...understanding of each other, that little to no other people can relate to. The loss of control with power, the feeling of having another person with you even when no one else can see (obvs in Judai's case with Yubel it's much better than Saiou with the Light), the...uh...self loathing thoughts that can sometimes be too much to handle. They catch up with each other over tea every now and again and it's honestly a relief for both of them getting to hear the other living a better life after everything. Might not be each other's closest friend by any means, but they are...special.

Edo/Manjome - The actual rivals, both during work and outside of it lol They both know exactly how to provoke one another and get in a lot of arguments (majority of which Edo wins). But despite this, they're close friends. When they go to Pro Duelist events, they'll usually gravitate towards each other for company sake, even if they'll claim they had "no choice". When the chips are down, they'd look out for each other and are able to take a step back and be real with one another when it matters most.

Saiou/Manjome - The most. Awkward. Duo here. Even outside of their past history together, Manjome just thinks Saiou is...weird. Not that he'd say it out loud, he has a little more tact than that (and doesn't really want to get knocked out by Edo if he heard him). But yeah- he doesn't really want to be left alone with the guy for too long. Saiou, having years and years of experience with this, can absolutely tell Manjome thinks very little of him, making it equally miserable for both of them. They aren't half as bad if they're in a group with other people, but if they're alone. It's the worst lol

[bloggingboutburgers]

Reading your blog, I'm starting to see my relationship with my bf differently (we've been together for over a decade). Like, I've been questioning my romantic orientation for some time, suspecting I might be somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. But I realise I don't really have a clear image of what romance actually is and if it's something I have in my relationship. Like, he's my best friend. But what makes it different that a very close friendship? Apart, you know, the fact we live together and see each other every day. I'm also asexual so we don't really have sex, but for the very rare time I feel like doing something for him, but it's not really something we do, though I know sex and romance are to different things, straight people tend to say that the difference between friendship and dating is sex. I've heard allos saying "if I don't have sex with my s/o, what are we? Friends?" Anyway, I'm just more and more confused by what those criterias are for defining what is and what is not a romantic relationship. Love? I mean, love can have so many forms, how am I to regognise which one I feel? I just care about my bf. I like spending time together. We help each other on a daily basis. And when one of us need alone time we give as much time as the other needs. We do our things each in our corners and meet in the middle when we want company. We're happy this way. And that's great! I just can't comprehend what this all means. Sometimes I'm confused about the feelings I get for other people. Am I attracted to them or do I just want to smother them with my intense friendship? Which is hard. I sometimes feel like I love my friend to hard and I shy away during our interactions for fear to overwhelm them with my love. What's the difference between the two? Between my relationship with my bf and the friendship with those people I have to keep away sometime for fear to be "too much"? I'm sorry for these ramblings. You probably don't have the answers to this, but I needed to tell all this to someone that might understand at least some of it. I love your blog btw.

Sorry I'm replying so late – but thank you so much for all of this input, it's actually so interesting to hear your take on your own experience.

You're right, I don't have the answers, because every experience is very personal and I don't wanna project onto others, but there's a lot of points I actually relate to very much – like, I don't have a clear idea of what romance even is either, I just feel in my gut that it's not what I have with my queerplatonic partner. I guess in my own case I've also always had a bit of trouble with the idea of a "best friend" (like, I HAVE entertained the idea that this or that person might be my "best friend" at some points in my life, but I always end up coming back to the thought that I don't feel OK putting one person above others in my head – I work more in tiers made out of several people at once).

I might also be overthinking things but I often hear in the long-term-relationship discourse that romantic partnerships often wind up turning into friendship over time and that's OK – no idea how that works but it's interesting to think about, and I wonder if there's any truth to that on an aromantic spectrum basis? Like maybe... If both of us are on the aromantic spectrum, then maybe we just didn't get the "romantic high" part because we don't feel romantic attraction or feel it less than most people, and we're straight to that "friendship" part people talk about? ...Either way, what you describe with your bf sounds like a vibe, a healthy vibe to me. Sounds like you guys have it figured out and I wish you the best, honestly.

Also lol it really IS a useful and sobering reminder that to most allo people, the "sex = romance" idea is probably very prevalent still... Makes it even harder to figure ourselves out

Either way sorry for rambling and thank you SO MUCH for sharing your self-reflection, honestly, whatever conclusion you come to I hope life is good for you^^

[hyuuukais]

✧˖°ʚ🍓ɞ♡ SUNSHINE AND STRAWBERRIES

pairing ☆ lee felix x fem reader

synopsis ☆ Y/N is a new streamer. after months of planning, and her best friend & now fellow streamer han jisung convincing her, she makes a twitch and youtube account. thanks to jisung giving her a shoutout to his own huge following, she gains some unexpected overnight fame. but what was more unexpected was waking up to see her long-time favourite comfort streamer _sunshine.bbokari_ following her.

warnings ☆ food mention, mention of stalking in an unserious way

[TAGLIST -> CLOSED]

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

☆ mostly written chapter, 3 screenshots ☆

CHAPTER TEN ☆ THE STREAM

The stream starts off smoothly, fans of both of you trickling in during the waiting screen. You had never played Overcooked 2, but watched the gameplay of it enough times to know what to expect. At least, from the game. You had no idea what to expect when it came to playing with Felix. Jisung had tried to help resssure you, saying to think of Felix as 'just some guy'.

Kinda hard when you've been looking up to him for years.

He started his YouTube channel young, around 14. It didn't start as asmr, but with gaming. You quickly found yourself addicted to his videos, loving the way he described things. It helped that he was someone your age, someone relatable. After starting to stream, you'd stay up most nights to watch with Kai or Jisung, sometimes falling asleep to his voice.

And now here you were, five minutes away from the most anticipated moment of your life.

Another concern of yours was what the chat would be like, especially considering the initial hesitation and hate you had recieved just from being friends with Jisung. It hurt to see, but you felt secure in your friendship. No amount of hate could make you doubt it.

"Y/N?"

The interruption made you look up, seeing Felix's icon light up as he spoke.

"Y/N? You there?"

"Yes!" You cringed at your loud response. "Sorry, yes, I'm here."

He laughed. "Before we start, I just want to say I'm happy you agreed to this! I know we barely know each other still."

That was true. You had no idea what made Felix so excited to get to know you. Had Jisung said more to him than you thought? Actually, you don't even know how close those two were if you thought about it.

"Well, I've only had the biggest crush on you since I was like 14," You blurted, silently cursing yourself. Why didn't you think before speaking?! "Oh my god, that's probably the weirdest thing I could have said to you! I'm so sorry!"

"Ehh, I'm used to weird people," His smile was obvious in his voice. "You'll fit right in with my other friends."

Before you could ask what he meant, it was time to begin.

-

About an hour and a half in, you decided it be best to take a break. Both of you did what you needed, coming back with a snack. You advised the chat to grab something before reading questions or comments.

"Y/N, you can start," Felix stood suddenly, holding up his phone. "Chan is calling, I gotta take this!"

"Oh, okay!" You watched as he disappeared, your nerves coming back to you.

Most questions were for Felix, which you obviously couldn't answer, but there were a lot of comments about you both.

"'Your dynamic is so fun to watch, I'm glad I stopped in'," You smiled. "Thank you so much, aw. There's a few people who've said similar things, so thank you too."

You kept reading positive comments, laughing and feeling more at ease after expecting the worst.

"'Y/N you must be feeling pretty good with'... oh," The smile on your face faded and you looked down.

The comment read, 'Y/N you must be feeling pretty good with your success, too bad it's only because of your... 'friends'. You're so boring on your own.'

There were a few people agreeing, saying you were too quiet, that people only liked you for who you associated with, that you'd never be so popular on your own.

It hurt.

When Felix came back, you tried not to show how you were feeling, easily falling back into laughing along with him.

"Okay, last question!" He announced. "Let's see here... 'hey Lix, did you know about Y/N's old fan account?'"

You nearly choked on your drink.

"Actually yes, I did."

You blush furiously, looking wide eyed at his face in the corner, mouth hanging open. Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes in embarrassment. Before you could say anything. Felix let out a big sigh and a chuckle, shaking his head.

"Fun fact about me... I love secretly interacting with my fans. I may or may not have a secret account..." It was his turn to blush with the confession. "I have a few favourite accounts and," His voice went quieter, "Y/N this is actually so embarrassing to admit to your face, but yours was one of them. When you suddenly stopped posting, I... I was honestly kinda heartbroken. Of course I didn't know it was you at the time!"

For a few moments, you were quiet. What he said came crashing down on you, and suddenly you couldn't stop laughing- no- cackling. He liked your fan account? No, you were one of his favourites?

The idea was so absurd.

"Stop laughing!" He scolded, but his face betrayed him with a wide grin. "It's not- it's not funny! I wanted the world to swallow me up when I found out you were friends with Han considering I'd been lowkey stalking you on the internet for like 3 years!"

Tears streamed freely down your cheeks, and the chat was blowing up. You could barely breathe, coughing to catch your breath.

"Is that why you were so eager to meet?" You asked once you finally calmed down.

"I wanted to put a face to the name," He shrugged, his own laughter calming down. "I mean, I already knew what you looked like I guess. But still! I never expected the chance to meet you."

The chat kept blowing up, but it was finally time to continue what you were here for -- gaming. After a few more frustrating hours, yelling at each other and attempting to be strategic on who does what (but failing horribly), the stream ended.

At the end of the night, your heart felt full. During your years of being a fan account, you worried Felix wasn't who he showed, but tonight and all the texts up until now proved he was even better.

notes ☆ FIRST WRITTEN PART !! also i'm so so excited to get more into the rising stars plotline bc as much as this is a fun fluffy felix x y/n fic, it's also just as much abt y/n on her own! the actually relationship between y/n and felix may be a bit of a slow burn friends to lovers kinda thing bc personally i eat that shit up. but dw!! there are going to be so many cute parts with the two of them. also are we glad the stream was good ?!?! y/n already needed a break LMFAO

taglist ☆ @marcillfll @toplinelix @neri-ner @tfshouldidohere @imasimplol @samvagejkflxhrt @yennifersgeralt @aestheticsluut @cherryuqii @tenebrisirae @roseidol @veryjeongintxtkid @amara-mars @nobuttpics @bmnyy @sheeshhhhfelixsworld @ellelabelle @gini143 @mrsseals16 @veedoesntknaur

pink means it won't let me tag you

[winterxgardener]

What makes Shourtney stand out to me (as a possible couple) is that despite all the LA influences and insane talent, they kinda seem like two people you could see hanging out in your neighborhood. They are so special but normal at the same time if that makes sense.

I also feel that neither of them are particularly great at hiding their true feelings about people and things around them - and I love that about them. I'm sure they do a loooooot of self-censoring but at the same time, have hard time maintaining a proper poker face.

Actually, there are some 2019-2020 videos where Courtney and Shayne start acting silly/flirty together, and the other person in the room (usually Ian and Damien) has a slightly amused but uncomfortable "here we go again" expression on their face. The expression is so relatable 'cause I've been in similar situations myself at the workplace and kept thinking "you guys really need to do something about this romantic tension 'cause we have a meeting with the boss in two minutes and she might have some questions". So awkward but hilarious at the same time.

Similarly to the previous anon, I also wish we could hear their own experience at some point since what we discuss here in Tumblr, is mainly just speculation/interpretation. Even if it turns out that Shourtney never happened and we shippers have been living in delulu, I'd still love to hear what their shared journey has been (bts) since it feels like they rarely talk about their friendship/something-else-ship anymore. Ian and Anthony discuss their friendship frequently in videos, Shayne and Damien make references to their shared past experiences from time to time, and I've even heard Amanda and Angela commenting on how close friends they are. But I can not remember the last time Shayne and Courtney had even a brief discussion about them as a duo, despite being one of the more iconic ones.

I actually think that it was the contradiction between their non-verbal language and verbal treatment of each other that led me to speculate (1-2 years ago) that something is going on bts. For me their "heart eyes" alone are not really a proof of anything since they keep looking at half the cast with similar endearment. However, I found it weird that they would look at each other so lovingly (at least in brief moments) but rarely ever say anything friend-like directly to each other or even act politely, like normal coworkers. Some people will explain that with their long friendship but they are close with Damien and Ian as well and rarely act in the same contradictory way with them. I just can't explain that with anything else but "something's going on".

As a background info: I started my Smosh journey with videos from 2022 and 2023, and initially, knew nothing about the Shourtney shipping that happened in late 2010s. Despite this (or because of it?) I sensed something between them and was not surprised to hear that they might be more than just coworkers. However, I def understand why shippers got a bad rep in Defy era because I can not sense the same chemistry between them in older videos and would have needed a fair amount of delulu to convince myself that they are together. Nowadays, it's the other way around: you need to make a lot of mental acrobics to explain why they are most probably just friends.

Btw, sorry for a long, not-so-cohesive ramble on this. I'm writing this in a sleepy mode, and am not sure myself what is the red thread of this anymore. :D

I am speechless while reading this. What do you mean by 'not cohesive'? This is a well-structured narrative. 🤯🤯

I agree that between 2019 and 2021, Shourtney appeared different, especially during their Twitch streams since they were unedited, unlike now, where they can easily censor or edit some of their moments.

Regarding their chemistry, from 2015 to 2018, it was just full-blown flirting as friends. (I don't know if I'm just being delusional), but something changed in 2019.🙉🙈

[synergysilhouette]

Changes I'd make to Tim Drake (Warning: may be controversial)

As my favorite Robin, I've needed to make this post for a long time. I know my opinions may not be agreed upon, but I hope my dedication is still appreciated, nonetheless.

He isn't dragged for his superhero goals--Any poor mistake that DC makes, they decide to pin it on him having poor judgement, which is really unfair. As many things that get ignored/retconned (even if they arguably shouldn't be, depending on the subject), it feels bizarre to drag Tim for things like his ill-fated "Drake" costume and era, especially when it was walked back on so quickly. On top of this, people seem to look down on him for genuinely enjoying being Robin. Robin wasn't always a "move on" position, per se; Dick had been Robin for consecutive decades before deciding he wanted something different, while Jason was murdered and became someone else as a reflection of this. Tim became Robin because he saw that Batman NEEDED him, and deduced Batman and the previous Robin's identities on his own. If he wants to do stop being Batman's partner (or sidekick, depending on perspective), it should be his own choice, not everyone else saying "this was a temp job and you're out."

He has his own unique color, costume, and maybe even codename--Even if he remains by Batman's side, Tim deserves to be distinct; his codename and color scheme are shared with all his brothers, and it doesn't do much for him. I'd definitely prefer a cowless take on his Savior costume (unsure about the codename; it feels a bit too on-the-nose, but it also feels like it represents his need to help others) or bring back his N52 Red Robin suit WITH the wings as well as making him the brother in purple, which goes well with the Batfamily's aesthetic as well as signifying his romance with Stephanie and friendship with Bunker.

He's going for a psyche major--I feel like this fits so well with his motivations. It's weird that the Batfamily doesn't put more stock in studying psychology outside of Harley (who rarely uses this skill, much to my chagrin). Tim wants what's best for everyone, and became a hero in order to help people. He isn't simply trying to stop problems, but prevent them and make Gotham a better place for everyone. While he can still go for a cyber-related degree (I don't remember his exact major), I'd prefer he also go for a degree that furthers his desire to understand and improve others, plus it's good to help him better understand himself as well. Definitely would've made this something he furthered in "Heroes in Crisis" (which I should make an post about another time).

He isn't bi--Hate me if you must. I'm a gay guy, and I just didn't vibe with this reveal. During the mid-2000s, it was stated by one of his artists that he and the writers kind of already saw Tim as bi, though DC never made this canon until 2021. As far as I know (as a 2010s comic person), it never seemed like DC was keen to lean into LGBT sexuality for Tim, and given that they've been treating him poorly post-N52, it feels like this was a random "let's find a way to make Tim as popular as his brothers" by making him stand out in a way that they didn't. I know this is a bold claim, but this is a feeling I've had for a while now, especially since his personal life now mainly revolves around Bernard (personal bias, but I'm usually not a fan of heroes dating non-heroes; I'd prefer him with Bunker--or Connor, if he's romantically into guys). And they haven't done him many favors since; DC infamously described him as the "always-online bisexual" in a now deleted tweet that embodies my concern that they're just defining him by his sexuality now, as well as a solo comic with horrendous art for most of the run. If Jason or Damian were depicted as bi (with the latter being the least controversial choice, imo, given his younger tenure in comics and romantic life not as fleshed out), I'm almost sure they'd be better handled, probably because they've been better handled as characters in recent years. Overall, I found Tim's retcon of sexuality unnecessary (yet we have bi characters such as Ghostmaker who were LGBT from the get-go and don't get nearly as much attention) and overall used as a metaphor for his "indecisiveness" at making decisions that DC forced onto him.

He still has a (biological) family and life--A big problem with writers and artists is that they sometimes have a problem with trying to make the 4 Robins identical in appearance and lives. Unlike Jason and Dick, Tim wasn't an orphan adopted by Bruce, not originally anyway. He had his own life and chose to be part of Bruce's world, and the need to make him an orphan with pretty much nothing going on in his civilian life was disrespectful (is he still an Olympic-level gymnast? Kinda love the idea that he takes time off for "me time" here and there and that's when Damian or another Batfam member jumps in). Let him have friends and family as Tim Drake, not just as Robin. Let Bruce be his dad without killing off his biological one. Let Tim have autonomy and individuality!

More A-list connections--This is being petty, but most of his friends are next-gen heroes with no major stuff going on for themselves, just like him. Surrounding yourself with important people can help you become important, too. I'm not telling friends to drop his friend groups (him and Conner have one of the best male homosocial relationships in comics and it sucks how they got overshadowed by Damian and Jon), but giving him more relationships with well-known characters could help his status. Plus maybe involve him in more teams outside of Teen Titans and the Batfamily; it's not good that he jumps between being an underrated member amongst iconic characters and a leader of underrated people. Just make sure he's not trading positions to become another hero's apprentice--there was once plans for him to be the next Blue Beetle as well as a temporary Nightwing, neither of which would be good for him, tbh. I have similar feelings for Starfire (we need more of her friendship and Superman; plus I'd love another underrated TT team led by Tim, perhaps with Ryand'r).

Never lose sight of who he is--The idea with Tim (at least from what I've absorbed) is that he's the most optimistic, maybe even naive, version of Dick, committed to wanting to help people and support them, and not one to brush them off of devalue them. He's got a heart, not just a brain, and I like to consider him one of the glue sticks that holds the family together. He doesn't need to be edgy or cool in the way that Damian and Jason are, nor should he be reduced to a sex object like Dick (which is another post entirely).

[celestialjellii]

Insomnia is kicking my ass, so I wanna just word vomit about Marcille, and just Dungeon Meshi as a whole.

Spoilers for the Dungeon Meshi manga, and trigger warning for mentions of Suicide.

I find myself relating to Marcille in a lot of different ways. One of these way is her relationship with her dad. Ask any of my friends and they'll confirm that my dad was one of the most important people in my life. I lost him in 2020 to cancer; I got genuinely so emotional when I saw Marcille reminiscing about her dad to the others. And how she wishes she got more time with him

These kind of stories always seem to rewonate with me because I feel like my dad was taken from me too soon as well. Marcille's facial expression in the bottom panels is an expression I'm all too familiar with making. When talking about my dad (especially with people who never got the chance to meet him) its always really bittersweet. Its great because I'm able to talk about the greatest man I've ever known, but painful too because I know I'll never be able to talk to him again, be able to cry in his shoulders, be able to turn to him for help. And it hurts.

Theres also how Marcille views death inregards to herself, and her loved ones.

This part made me genuinely cry because, in a way, I know how it feels. While its not necessarily in regards to death (I have had some harsh deaths in my life, like my dad's passing, and two friends of mine taking their own lifes) I do know how painful it can be to say goodbye to people, which is how Kui expresses Marcille's fear of death in Dunmeshi. With Marcille's long life she's going to likely outlive everyone she loves and thus have to say goodbye to them. I also have had to say goodbye to people I didn't want to: be it because of death, ending a toxic friendship,or other reasons. I also just love this part because you can see how badly everything that transpired in that chapter affected her, after bringing everyone back her first instinct was to chew them all out for being so reckless, but when ahe finally verbalizes what had happened her emotions catch her, and all she can do is fall back against the wall and begin crying.

I also just love how immediate Laios and Senshi is to comfort, and apologize to her, as well as promising that they won't put her through that again.

I remember I was texting my friend Terra and we were joking about Marcille being my favourite because she's a "silly gay elf" but my love for Marcille can be summed up with "I came for the silly gay elf mage, but I stayed for the beautifully written character who struggles with issues that I frequently find myself struggling with.

Additionally I just love how Laios and the others talk Marcille downfrom the edge after she's become the master of the dungeon, it reminds me of all the times my friends have talked me down from my own edge (I love you guys 💖)

Marcille's sexuality is another thing I resonate with. I know that Kui never explicitly states anything, but as a queer person I had a hard time reading Marcille and Falin's relationship as anyother other than romantic, like, we've all seen horny Marcille's "whoa hey!" reaction to Chimera Falin tearing her own shirt off (honestly such a valid reaction from her), but the part that really got me was how tender and loving Marcille is with Falin after she's been resurrected.

My sexuality is something I've been struggling with a lot recently. A little over a year ago my boyfriend of nearly 8 years left me, and up until recently I was identifying as bisexual. However within the past few months I've found myself caring less and less for sex, and a strong desire for the roamntic aspects of a relationship, specifically with women. So seeing Marcille look at Falin with such adoration really resonated with me; I just really love their relationship.

This series is just so amazing, and it resonated with me in so many different ways from everything I've mentioned in this post about Marcille, to things like how Laios is such an amazing allegory for living with autism, to how Senshi has helped myself get a better, healthier relationship with food. Itw just an amazing series and easily in my top 5 anime/mangas.

That is all, I'm gonna try to get some sleep now, here have a dancing Marcille as thanks for reading.

[madinscurianmermaid]

(WARNING: spoilers!)

(trigger warning: discussions of gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, medical abuse towards intersex folks and eating disorders)

I Saw The TV Glow is a very very interesting movie. Very dreamy and atmospheric. There are a lot of symbolic parallel themes I can point out--the pains and awkwardness of growing up, the melancholia of a lost friendship, turning to TV as escapism from loneliness and isolation or bullying and abuse, the loss of innocence and wonder upon growing up, nostalgia, etc.--but I really thought that the twist of Owen and Maddy actually being Isabel and Tara, the main characters of The Pink Opaque TV show having been forcibly transported by the main villain Mr. Melancholy from their world to the Midnight Realm that looks like our real world and thrown out of their element, was really cool. And I thought it was smart that the marketing and promotion for the film was cryptic enough to not give it away. Also, I can genuinely see The Pink Opaque being an actual hit family friendly sci-fi/mystery/horror TV show, either as a spin off show in companionship to the movie today or back in the 90s, and being a TV show that's an amalgamation of The Twilight Zone, Stranger Things, Goosebumps, Are You Afraid of the Dark and So Weird. In fact, I think that the director Jane Schoenbrun should go out on a limb and actually make The Pink Opaque an actual spin off show, while fleshing out the story and mythos with actual surreal and paranormal adventures. But that's just me!

Now, onto the main part of the movie that's actually been standing out to me the most: Owen. In watching the film a second time and reflecting on everything about Owen, his personality, his mannerisms, his relatable quiet awkwardness, shyness, his emotional vulnerability, etc., and his overall story, is really getting under my skin. But not in the "ew, this is gross and this is cringe, I feel like bugs are crawling all over me" type of way, but rather in the "oh my goodness, I see myself in this character and I empathize with them to where I feel like I know them personally and this resonates with and speaks to me emotionally in ways that I can't describe or put into words and it nearly brings tears to my eyes" type of way. I've reviewed movies and expressed resonating with characters before, but rarely has any character ever truly make me feel like I genuinely see myself in them and see myself on screen other than Owen. Owen is the type of character that you watch at first and then after it's been a while since watching this movie, he sneaks up on you and haunts you emotionally in your soul. That's what Owen's character has done--he's snuck up on me emotionally and mentally and now he sits like an aching teardrop inside my soul, and that's because I literally see myself on screen when I see Owen and watch his arc. Then the twist of Owen being Isabel, how this realization affects him and that playing into the allegories of gender identity and expression gives Owen and his arc more depth, and then the movie showing Owen's life in the aftermath as he grows up, turns 21 and reaches adulthood and grows older makes it more emotionally impactful.

Some background about me to put everything into context: for as long as I could remember, I've always felt different and I've always had an androgynous and genderfluid way of expressing myself and looking at the world around me, and in many ways I'd feel like an androgynous feminine pretty guy.

But I've also initially had a difficult time verbally expressing this or putting it into words without fear of people looking at me as though I'd smoked a crackpipe or grown a bunch of eyeballs on my face lol, especially considering that I grew up in a conservative evangelical setting. Sure I'd wear dresses, sure I'd wear girly shoes, sure I'd wear casual feminine preppy clothes and dark alternative goth or emo clothing, sure I'd paint my nails and wear jewelry, sure I'd have all these hobbies to pass the time and present myself femininely, and yet even then during that entire time, inwardly I'd be thinking:

"Why do I feel like a guy on the inside?"

Granted, my dilemma wasn't ever about discomfort about my body (aside from body dysmorphia and eating disorders) or any of my body parts or wanting top or bottom surgery--it was more so about whether I can verbally express into words how I'd feel like a guy with a feminine face and body and a guy in a dress some days and then how I'd feel like a guy wearing girlskin waiting to crack and shed itself off of me like a caterpillar when it exits out of its coccoon and becomes a butterfly, and ultimately it's been moreso about how whether I could express myself with my gender in an environment that expects me to conform to rigid cisnormative standards of beauty and expression. Cause I would wear casual feminine preppy or emo clothes on some days then wear baggy guy clothes on others. But again, I'd still struggle to find the words to describe what I was thinking and feeling. All of this among other things would slowly build up into stress induced gender dysphoria, and much of my gender dysphoria compounded with my autistic sensory overload, C-PTSD, dyslexia and trauma fueled distress from growing up in and being surrounded by oppressive conservative cult propaganda that made me feel drained and anxious and just overall struggling to fully pinpoint why I always felt different in regards to my gender nearly drove me crazy.

Then when I discovered that Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which I have, is an intersex variant which by proxy made me discover and realize that I was born intersex, all my questions that I had for decades were answered.

And oddly enough, my gender dysphoria stopped soon afterwards and it hasn't happened again since.

Which circles me back to Owen and his story. Since the movie is an allegory, Owen's arc can be interpreted in a multitude of ways. Many see Owen's story and how the twist in the story plays into it as an allegory for trans identity, which is valid.

But for the sake of keeping everything in personal context of my story and why Owen resonates with me, I'll just examine it from a objectively unrelated and different context and standpoint, specifically and namely an intersex (and especially both an interfeminine and intermasculine) context and standpoint:

Isabel is Owen's real self and not just in context of the twist of what the villainous Mr. Melancholy did, but also a symbolic representation of Owen's femininity and feminine side that he keeps tightly tucked away within himself and in this vein, scenes of Mr. Melancholy and his wicked goons, Marco and Polo, torturing and drugging Isabel/Owen become even more unsettling as this can parallel the trauma of what intersex folks have to deal with in society, from everyday bullying and discrimination to medical abuse via unwanted surgeries forced on us by corrupt doctors who view us as sickly deformities in need of "fixing" (then also the very real issues of gender based violence and hate crimes towards intersex women/femmes that rarely get talked about and addressed, compounded by intersexism, interphobia, intermisogyny, and, since Owen is of color, intermisogynoir that also rarely gets addressed and talked about). This makes Owen's reaction to this repressed memory and PTSD flashback getting unlocked a clear trauma response that's hard to watch (and more so as Owen putting his head into the TV is a dead on visual representation of gender dysphoria and PTSD's effects on the brain). What happens afterwards is Owen then being left more damaged and conflicted than he was before which also intensifies his identity crisis; though most of what I saw was Owen also sweeping his trauma and identity crisis under the rug, withdrawing and turning inwards and becoming more reclusive, even resistant, when Maddy tries to get Owen to go with her back to their actual world and, by proxy, embrace his real self, his real gender identity. But Owen resists, protests, shrinks back and flees in fear every time; and throughout the movie Owen carries himself not just with a painfully shy awkwardness, barely speaking above a whisper, but also with a palpable shame attached to him, as if he's ashamed over who he is. This is reflected via Owen's parents' reactions to Owen asking to watch The Pink Opaque--for Owen's mom, she doesn't let him only based on his scheduled bedtime, but his dad's snarky comment "Isn't that a girl's show?" speaks volumes.

This echoes how intersex folks can feel great conflict over our gender and expression and struggle how to even express ourselves due to the stigma and stigmatizing views that treats folks that are born intersex like we're deformities or shameful secrets to be suppressed, silenced, swept under the rug and kept behind closed doors, and further made to outwardly conform to other people's rigidly and oppressively cisnormative social desirability politics and other people's endocentric social standards of gender and "normalcy", much of which is steeped in eugenics/eugenicism and then bleeds over into intersexism and interphobia. In other words, intersex folks are neither female or male but are forced by a judgmental, shallow and intersexist society into "picking a side" just like how mixed race and multiracial folks are pressured by a racist, judgmental society into "picking a side". Someone else saw this as an allegory for autistics and masking, and I can honestly and frankly say that that also fits and something I can also resonate with as I'm also autistic and a late self diagnosed autistic along with being intersex, multiracial and an interfemme of color (hence making oppressive coercive social standards of normalcy also tip over into ableism and racism).

Which then makes Owen frequently suppressing and running from his real true self and struggling to conform to society's superficial and rigid standard of masculinity and lose his sense of innocence painful and sad to watch, and the end is a heartbreaking, tragic gut punch of an ending. Owen never sees Maddy again, he's stuck in empty dead end jobs he doesn't take much pride in, he's still a wallflower that's out of place in the world and he's trying to fit a social box of conformity that's only making him more miserable; and when Owen has his emotional meltdown and panic attack during a birthday party at his job and flees to the bathroom, the glowing static we see inside Owen's chest as he zips it open in my opinion can represent a multitude of things: the pain, trauma and ache of him being ripped away from his original home and life, his lost friendship with Maddy, his loss of innocence and wonder, the lost opportunity to find freedom to embrace his gender identity, the grief over the death of his mother, the fear and loneliness that's haunted him for decades, and just a plethora of Owen's emotional wounds and traumas that never got addressed and resolved. Then Owen zips his chest back up, walks back out and frantically apologizes, to a crowd of people who not only don't see or look at him, but who also don't seem to care. If that's not a tragedy, then tell me what is.

Like I said, I see myself in Owen, and my heart hurts for him. Cause there are so many real life Owens out there. And I was Owen at one point in time.

Thankfully, my story didn't end as sadly: I've been addressing, dealing with and unpacking a lot of my traumas and mental, emotional and psychological issues, navigating my life as a queer autistic neurodivergent, an individual of color and an intersex individual of color and the messiness of my gender and gender identity and expression. Some days are more up and down than others, and with me having recently turned 30 and contending with the fact that I've lost most of my years of being 21-29 to mental illness, me turning 30 is decidedly a new chapter of a restart for me and that along with my mental health and trauma recovery and healing journey, embracing my autistic neurodivergence and embracing my identity as an intersex individual has been healing, enlightening, eye opening and empowering. Now I've actually been experiencing gender euphoria in embracing my identity as an intersex individual and an intersex individual of color, and embracing my intersex masculinity / intermasculinity and intersex femininity / interfemininity in equal measure and with equal love. And this in turn helps me experience autistic joy. And it's a wonderful place to be in.

And I hope that all the real life Owens in the world, whether autistic, neurodivergent, queer, of color or intersex, or all of the above--and especially other intersex folks in general--will be able to reach that place of peace, healing, freedom, empowerment, joy and recovery someday too.

It's not too late. There is still time.

😊😊💛💜💛💜💛💜💙💖

[shephar]

Saw a Genshin x Persona 5 post and thought of what Joe Ker would be like as a Genshin character.

Can be read as related to my Yusuke post or standalone, or even related to my Cyno post :3

Under the cut, as usual, duh.

About: Introduction.

"Oh! They call me Joker, sometimes, but my friends call me Akira, and I think we'll be great friends."

He's an Anemo character, surprising or unsurprisingly. I chose this because of how the Anemo Traveler and other Anemo characters can use the swirl mechanic to semi-manipulate other elements.

About: Vision.

"Mondstat's the city of Freedom, under the Anemo Archon of Freedom... Hmm. I suppose it's not too surprising I got an Anemo vision, then..."

For a weapon he uses a catalyst, due to his affinity for magic, which is abnormally high for a regular citizen of Teyvat, at least to those not from Khaenri'ah. He is from Khaenri'ah, of course, because he's just That Guy.

Aside from that, his skill has a chance to add an element to his attacks, which most people assume comes from his magic affinity, when in reality he just uses matches, ice-cubes, bottled water, dirt, or leaves. It's unknown how he does Electro-swirl...

These can be seen if you pay attention to his skill activations, but not for the Electro.

About: Swirl.

"You wanna know how I add elements to my attacks? Don't you know, a magician never reveals his secrets. Maybe I'll tell you later?"

His burst is an AoE targeting skill, which works by having each subsequent attack from any party member (even co-op) gaining 30% of their damage per hit.

If he's on a solo-run, however, his skill changes to a Hermanubis/Persona-like phantasm attacking enemies while Joker does as well. This is because, unlike Yusuke, where it's up to choice if he's from the Persona-verse, Joker definitely is.

About: Family/Home.

"My family? Hmm, well, it's just me and my sister, really, but it's been a while since I've been back to Fontaine. I wonder how she is, being called Father must be strange, huh..."

Akira is, much like Arlecchino, from Khaenri'ah and then lived in the House of the Hearth as a child. Their childhoods are this similar because they are twins. However, Akira chose to explore Teyvat after the Mother was defeated, wanting to see what the world has to offer.

He earned his Vision in an unknown way, when asking, Arlecchino only has this to say:

"My brother's Vision? Hmm, I suppose he's always had it, even when we were younger."

About: Archons.

"They're just... Regular people, or people adjacent. I don't really care all that much about them. I feel bad, really."

He's a five star character, of course, but his splash art is unnaturally bland for a five star, instead seeming more like a four star.

Of course, this is because of his affinity for not trying to stand out in Persona 5, which carried over to Genshin Impact.

About: Furina.

"I know people are readily accepting Neuvilette to be our new Archon, he's the hydro sovereign. But, I don't know, I think Furina, or Foccalors, was more... Relatable, I suppose is the term."

As with most other five stars, he also has a Character Story. It's the shortest one, really, should barely even count as a Story, it's a simple conversation with the Traveler. It changes based on friendship rankings.

After the Hangout, he just gives the Traveler a gun. A fake one, albeit a lot more advanced and realistic.

About: Stars (Unlocks at friendship rank 8)

"These stars... Oh, didn't see you there. What was I saying? Oh, it's just... These stars don't seem quite right, as if a painting. They reminded me of a friend, don't worry."

Akira's friendship rankings actually affect his combat potential. At Friendship 8, he has a chance to restore an ally's HP when lower than 10% when he's switched with them.

At Friendship 10, there's a chance he has to revive a downed ally, but this can only happen once per battle and it has only a small chance.

About: Origin (Friendship 10)

"Hmm, my origins? I guess you've ascertained that I'm not from Teyvat... Truth be told, I died. Then, I came back. It wasn't back to where I was from, sadly, but. What can you do? I've made the most of my life here. I do miss my friends, though."

And extras that may or may not be part of this AU, depending on your thoughts. Both unlock after Friendship 10.

About: Yusuke.

"I don't know how he got to Teyvat, but it's nice to know it's not just me in this world, I don't know if he has Gorokichi, but I can still hear my Personal. I hope he wasn't alone until we met again."

About: The General Mahamatra.

"He's a lot more... Intense than from when we were teammates, but it seems he remembers me, at least. He's still got Hermanubis with him. He's even the General Mahamatra."

About: You.

"Why do you want to hear my opinion? You're... you, it doesn't matter what I think, or that's how it should be. You help people, despite them leading to dead ends about your sibling, and that's a lot more selfless than I could act."

About: Relationships.

"I could never bring myself to date back in my world, and it would feel weird now. Arlecchino and I's bloodline is going to end with us, it seems, unless she finds someone. Unlikely, though."

About: Furina.

"She's cool, I can relate to pretending to be someone else to please others. *Uncomfortable laugh*. Except she was faking God, I was faking being a good friend."

That's it. Thanks for reading this garbage.

[femboty2k]

WOAGH I got tagged by @elliegoose to do a thingy!

now the tag game was to introduce yourself with:

one tv show

one movie

one album

one video game

I, however, liked that they did two and I am ALSO cute and get to do whatever I want so im gonna do two, too.

TV shows: The Venture Bros. and Hilda

talk about opposite ends of the spectrum, eh? Now Venture Bros. will always come with an asterisk, that being that it's an Adult Swim show that was created in the early 2000s by two white guys. Its comedy, especially in earlier seasons, can be unsavory. I'm a big believer in things being imperfect though. Not every show can live up to every standard, and sometimes you just need to roll your eyes at jokes that were made 10-20 years ago. If you can get past that what you get is an excellent and genuinely fun world full of Spyfi and Superhero parodies with a good story to boot.

Hilda, on the other hand, is a show for younger audiences based on a kids book series that largely has to do with various pieces of Scandinavian folklore. I've watched Hilda all the way through twice, once on my own as it was coming out and then once with my wife, and its just so so so lovely. The colour tones of red blue yellow and white, the delightful music, the adorable cast of characters and creatures, its such a good time. One of the best cozy up and just vibe it out shows imo. In my top 5 for sure.

Movies: Everything, Everywhere, All at once and Wolf Children.

What hasn't been said about EEAAO? It won awards that it damn well deserved, its got a perfect cast, it makes me cry every time I watch it. A compelling story about family and change, and the monumental difficulties that can come with them, as well as how different people survive hardships in their life, all wrapped up in the most batshit thing you've ever seen. Clair De Lune, THE SONG I GOT MY NAME FROM, is the main theme and it makes me tear up every time. In every universe, I would love to do laundry and taxes with you, and watch this movie.

Wolf Children isn't far off from that vein. I consider it to be Studio Chizu's magnum opus and I don't say that lightly. From the presentation and voice cast to the music and gorgeous art used in the movie, not even to MENTION how good the story about family, change, growing up, and letting go is, if you don't cry in the first 30 mins you should evaluate your emotional status. This movie means so much to me, its such a gorgeous story, and more people should know about it. Studio Chizu doesn't have a single miss in my opinion, just lesser and greater movies. Wolf Children is hands down the greatest.

Albums: Get Lonely by The Mountain Goats and No Dogs Allowed by Sidney Gish

What??? Clair's top two isn't DnB or something techno related???? Nah dog, I get sad a lot and have a thing for poetry. Get lonely was an album I listened to in some of the worst years of my adult life. I was 20 living with my family who made me miserable in a state that was (and still is) trying to get rid of people like me, and I had very little things that were mine. Walking around downtown Bartow, Florida, in the two weeks of winter that hell state gets while listening to John Darniel sing about soft agonies while watching my breath dissipate into the air? That was mine, and it always will be. TMG in general is I think my favourite band. The poetry on display in every one of their songs is just, too beautiful for my dumb ass to put in any meaningful way.

No Dogs Allowed was an album I listened to while working a midnight shift job I hated while also living with my family. Its an upbeat, quirky, kind of melancholy romp with songs that bring me back to driving from Bartow to Lakeland hoping I could stop myself from either killing myself or fucking up my friendships, whichever came first. Spoiler alert, I'm still alive. It also reminds me of the last big thing I ever did with my sibling before I left Florida for good, which was go to the Tampa Bay Aquarium with them. Several songs from the album were on the playlist I made for us, and hearing them always makes me want to shoot them a message to see if they're doing okay.

Video Games: Night in the woods and Final Fantasy XIV Online

Night in the woods is very, very near and dear to my heart. I honestly don't know what to say. If you've played it you know how good it is. How well written the story of Mae and her mental health crisis is. How it goes over things like poverty and trying to get by/make a better life. Family struggles that they don't talk to you about, small hometown decay that seeps into your every memory until the place you grew up in looks like a collection of distorted rotting shapes. I play it once a year in the fall, and each time I do its like seeing an old friend again. At the end of everything, hold onto everything.

Final Fantasy XIV Online is a game you can play with your friends. I could go on and on and on about how I have 1300 hours in this game and how I met some good friends on it, and how important it is to me as a piece of writing and a community and an experience. But we'd be here all day. FFXIV was there for me in some very tough times. I met new people, I grew distant from others, I have regrets and joys that I still carry with me. If you can get into it with the right people, the game really is something special. Its something to be shared, its a bustling community with all the edges that come with that, its a world where you can be a 7ft. tall elf with green eyes and white hair, and its a part of me.

As for who I wanna tag: @problematicmilf , @ninefoldrin , @baphomets-hairy-bonkhonagahoogs , @mobileleprechaun , and anyone who sees this and wants to do it too. This was fun! Hope I don't seem too lame lol.

[lesbianpunkghost]

Ashley Campbell moodboard + some of my headcanons

Okay guys, I've been in the Sally Face fandom for a long time (4 years) and I have an AU based on the game (I have it written but I've never posted it anywhere) so some of the headcanons might seem weird in the game's canon.

- Ash definitely listens to Billie Eilish and other famous singers. But she also listens to a lot of Indie rock, alternative rock (e.g. Big Thief, Sparklehorses, Radiohead, etc.).

- Continuing with the music world, she certainly has several different playlists for very specific situations. And she organizes them all frequently.

- (I think this one is kind of canon) she is a protective friend and probably stops thinking about herself to help her friends, which ends up making her destroy herself.

- She is lesbian and non-binary, her pronouns are she/they

- She loves more "neutral" clothes, like suits, leather jackets, loose sweaters, because it makes her feel more androgynous and she loves it

- She and Larry have obviously been best friends for a long time and know everything about each other, but she is also VERY close friends with Todd and they definitely gossip a lot.

- She and Sal were always very close but they still didn't know much about each other. One day they discovered that they were fans of the same series and began to have the courage to open up to each other, discovering that they are practically identical (in relation to many things).

- She has had a secret (not so secret) crush on Maple since elementary school, contrary to what many people think, they have always been friends (they even drifted apart at the beginning of high school) but then they got closer and had a quick "casual" relationship, because Ash was going to move to college.

- She and Maple stayed out of touch while Ash was in college (against Ash's will), so she didn't know that Maple had started a relationship with Chug and received the news as soon as she returned to Nockfell.

- She drew Maple at every possible opportunity and in every possible drawing stroke.

- Ash never got over Maple and when they were finally able to be together again she felt so happy that anyone could tell.

- Ash DEFINITELY sang Good Luck Babe to Maple while she was still married.

- Ash and Larry have a habit of leaving the group for a while and going out just the two of them to smoke and talk about life.

- She definitely has mommy issues and her mother was responsible for Ash not getting into an art/photography course.

- She has a problem with self-harm but whenever Sal says he relapsed she starts with the speech that it's not good and that he should stop.

- She hates math.

- She listened to "Do I wanna know?" thinking about Maple.

- She's the friend who has a camera, so every time she goes out with her friends she takes a bunch of pictures and gets a bunch of messages from them saying "send me the pictures from yesterday please"

- She uses kitty emojis

- She loves Instagram or any other social network where you can post photos and her feed is always methodical and organized.

- She has another Instagram, but this one is private and she uses it as a photo album (this one is not as organized) and she always posts everything about her/her life there.

- She and Sal are the "old-fashioned" friends and they make the whole group wear friendship charms, post texts on social media, take funny photos and record videos (and everyone gets on board with them).

- She writes letters (and then turns the letters into text) to all her friends all the time and always posts cute posts about them on Instagram.

- She is an alcoholic who only drinks wine.

- She's a smoker too btw.

- She and Maple have a Pinterest board where they share how they see each other with beautiful pictures.

- She is borderline and the symptom she suffers most from is dissociation and the constant desire to change.

- She is an outgoing person and talks a lot all the time.

- She loves to read and has a giant bookshelf full of books

- Even though she was the one who helped/taught Larry most of the things about art, she is insecure about her drawing style and took a while to show them to her friends often.

- She was a terrible cook as a teenager and now everyone is afraid to try what she makes, even though she has learned to cook properly.

- Her natural hair is wavy and she straightened it during her teenage years.

- She has a problem with anger and suffers a lot because of it because she sometimes pushes her friends away impulsively. And she feels that deep down everyone hates her because of it.

- She has a YouTube channel that she uses as a blog.

- She sees art in everything and is always painting and taking pictures of something.

(Just these for now because I'm sleepy)