#I can fix him vibes off the charts pls give me a chance Jake—

[itsmeatballworld-library]

He wasn't afraid of loving you. He found it quite easy actually. As if breathing was second to this, to the way he held your hand during the day, and pulled you close at night.

No, loving you was the simplest thing he'd ever done in his life.

He was terrified of losing you.

oh my god oh my god oh my—

didn't know u were doing an event !!!! I'm glad I just caught it.

I'm excited wait okay so I want from the prompt list f. Scott Fitzgerald (? Not sure if I wrote it right)

❛ you are afraid of being in love then? ❜

with Jake lockley 🤍✨

THE UNKNOWN

a/n: i remember asking if we could do a different one, but this prompt made me actually want to break a part jake lockley's psyche and dig into his brain. so i ran with what is basically a character analysis. as always i suck at answering requests on time so this is late, but i hope you enjoy it regardless.

summary: he didn't know what love meant when it was unconditional, when there was no strings or requirements that had to be met. he didn't know what to do with it. where to put it. but you'd show him.

word count: 1.1k+

pairing: jake lockley x reader

warnings: not explicit, angst, like so much angst, jake is afraid of falling, comfort to the highest degree, unedited and unbetad and probably a mess of words.

He wouldn't meet your eyes—his hands clamped together in his lap as he bowed his head. Conversations weren't his forte. None that lasted longer than a quick greeting, an exchange of information, and the odd joke here and there. He didn't know where to place the words, where the meaning was meant to land; the fear of doing it wrong turned out to be his biggest hindrance.

Yet for a man who wasn't afraid...the realization was jarring.

"Jake..."

He let out a breath, squeezing his eyes shut, before they met yours briefly. "I'm thinking cariño."

Steven would have been the better person for this, the easier choice to give you. He understood how to speak without needing a moment to think, the words flowing with a simplicity Jake and Marc never had. A part of him nearly relinquished control, ready to step out of the limelight for a moment, as Steven conveyed what he wanted to say.

But you weren't here for Steven Grant. You weren't sitting there, a button down shirt covering your once naked body, drinking a mug of atole he made at the drop of a hat, for anyone else other than him.

What is this?

The question that brought a wave of dread in his body. A question he'd considered himself over the months of seeing you. He knew those words would fall from your lips eventually—knew that it would only be a matter of time before you asked for more. He simply wished he had more time to figure it out.

What were you to him? What was he to you?

Suddenly the thought of providing answers felt worse than fighting in the suit. He wished he could vanish, busy himself with something, but your eyes were an insistent burn on his skin. One that he longed to keep in place. Jake more often than not felt cold on the inside, as if someone turned off the light to his heart. But when you looked at him...the flame sparked to life—roaring through his body with a happy contented hum.

"Permanent," he said into his mug, shifting in his seat as he tried to find solace in the truth.

Even the word felt strange coming off his tongue. It must have been a mistake, wrong in some way he couldn't discern yet. Only his heart kept his consistent steady beat, assured and welcome to the slight change in the path.

Forever. Till time runs out. And even as the universe caves in on itself...this will remain.

Your lips pulled up into a smile, eyes shining with a look he could now place. Each time you caught his gaze, each moment you wore that look he felt the confusion linger. The question of what it meant rising up his throat.

Now...he could see it. As if the clouds finally parted and the moonlight shone down around you.

"I wanted to tell you sooner," he began, voice wavering slightly. He hoped you didn't notice. You caught every bit of himself he tried to hide away. "I'm not good with...mierda...this isn't—"

The scrape of your chair being pushed back startled him—his gaze wide as he watched you slip closer. Until your legs were settled on either side of his hips and you sat in his lap. His mug was discarded on the table in favor of grasping your hips, the warmth of your body a need he relished in.

If he could bottle this feeling up, carry it with him, he wouldn't hesitate.

"You are afraid of being in love then?"

Jake Lockley refused to let you in on the secret—the truth he kept from Marc and Steven. The reality of his heart that unknowingly stopped beating for him long ago. He swore he couldn't feel the thump of it beneath his chest anymore. It was a belief he accepted, something he could cling to. But when he ran into you on a whim, stuck in a library because of Steven, he felt his heart start up again with a vigor that terrified him.

He wasn't afraid of loving you. He found it quite easy actually. As if breathing was second to this, to the way he held your hand during the day, and pulled you close at night.

No, loving you was the simplest thing he'd ever done in his life.

He was terrified of losing you.

Of waking up one day to find that every moment, every touch, every kiss...was a figment of his imagination. He was horrified by the thought that someday in the future, you wouldn't be here to save him from himself. You wouldn't stand by his side, take his hand in yours, and kiss the knuckles with a reverence that broke him in half.

One day...you might see him as a monster rather than the man you gave your heart to.

"Te amo," he murmured against your palm as you cupped his face, thumbs pressing into his cheekbones. "I'm not afraid of being in love with you cariño. 'S too late for that anyways."

You breathed a laugh and Jake felt the valves of his heart snap off. "Then what is it?"

"You might...not like what you see inside there." Lifting your hands, he pressed them to his head, your thumbs finding a spot along his temples. "I don't want to scare you."

Relief spilled into his chest at your smile—at the soft laugh that fell free. He looked at you as if you hung the moon, as if he didn't possess the powers of the god. Because somewhere in his mind, he believed that you were a gift, a promise that one day things would be okay. That he might find the same amount of love in someone else he couldn't find in himself.

"You couldn't scare me even if you tried Lockley." He dug his teeth into the skin of his cheek, the pain leveling him—distracting him from the sting of tears. "I know you too well already. All of you."

His heart stuttered, hands gripping your hips a bit tighter until pain bloomed beneath the skin. It didn't affect you - barely skimmed the surface of your mind—because he wasn't grasping onto you, he was reaching for the balance that'd been unearthed from his feet. He clung to the steady rock you became. The piece of himself he didn't know he'd been looking for.

"Stop being afraid," you breathed against his forehead. "I'm here to catch you."

A shaky breath left his lips, his arms wrapping around your waist as he dragged you closer. You were everything he longed for, all that he needed to breathe properly. You were his heart made real.

For the first time, he took the final step off that unknown cliff that sent fear curling around his spine. He let out a sigh, closed his eyes, and...fell.