#I call this the most self indulgent coloring I think I've ever done.

[iero]

Life's no fun without a good scare!

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS — Henry Selick (1993)

[fuxuannie]

╭₊˚ ๑︰𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐟𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 . . . ♡

:★: characters : (all seperate) miles morales , al haitham , yoru , diluc

:★: warnings : none, bittersweet soft fluff

:★: a/n : i'm veryvery crazy normal over these characters,,, mostly 4 my own sake hehehe

:★: tags : bittersweet fluff, (some) one sided pining, mutual pining, reader is usually the one not reciprocating, i love gekko so bad, self indulgent

. . . . ♡

╰┈➤ HONESTLY I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT HOW WE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE, JUST SEE YOU VERY SOON.

MILES looks at you softly, downcasted eyes as he knows you can't stay with him. "This is it, right?" You say, voice practically a whisper as you looked down at the colors of your dimension radiating from the machine.

"Yeah.. at least it was fun, wasn't it?"

"Very."

The silence kills both of you, knowing that this was the last time you'd see him.

"Goodb-"

"I'll see you around, Morales."

You put your hand out for a handshake, smiling sadly as you refused to view it as leaving forever, even if it was.

He firmly grabs your hand, but tugs on your arm to pull you in for a hug. Most likely the first and last one you'll ever have from him. "I really hope so."

╰┈➤ IT HURTS TO BE SOMETHING, IT'S WORSE TO BE NOTHING WITH YOU.

YORU hated relationships, he found them to be a waste of time. Why give yourself a weakness for your enemies to abuse? And so when he found himself falling inlove, he was so scared.

He was terrified of the fact he was willing to throw away that whole mindset just for you.

It didn't help that he was softening up to you. A smile not often seen by people was always evident in your presence, his gaze growing mellow when it staring at you. But he didn't want to ever lose you, he was so scared of being with you because of the day you'll leave his life forever.

He wants to be with you, he really does, but that kind of pain is one he's not sure he's ready to face.

╰┈➤ NO MATTER HOW LONG I RESIST TEMPTATION, I WILL ALWAYS LOSE.

AL HAITHAM believed it was important to prioritize his work above all else, not that he was a workaholic - but because he knows he has to.

So imagine the utter frustration hes under because he can't get any work done, his mind clouded with thoughts of his very small interactions with you within the day. How you said good morning, helped him carry his papers to his office and aswell as getting him a cup of coffee this morning.

He knows exactly why he's like this, but refuses to accept it as a fact. He refuses to acknowledge his feelings as something real, mostly because he's accepted that he'd be single until he may eventually pass.. but plans change, right?

╰┈➤ I'VE DONE THE MATH, THERES NO SOLUTION. WE'LL NEVER LAST.

DILUC was an intelligent man, smarter than most. So when he sees you seemingly spending more time than usual with a certain Cavalry Captain, it didn't take long to see the signs.

He didn't blame you, nor was he upset his brother, but more to himself. He knows that his Kaeya is much more popular and well-liked, many viewed Diluc as rather boring or too serious for his own good.

So he'll enjoy what time he has with you, after all.. it won't be long till you realize Kaeya feels the same. "Master Diluc?" Adeline calls for him, only to see him asleep on his desk. Hunched over with letters scattered everywhere and every single one signed with your familiar initials.

[lakka-arts]

HI heres a list of really great mcsm artists (personal recs)

mainly made for my friend @glitxhy-b0yy!!! :D who is a FANTASTIC artist themselves and has some great content on there!!

also partially as a self indulgent post to compliment my friends so lets go!! (yes this does mean that my opinions are going to be bias asf dont come for me--)

this is not a COMPLETE list but its just the artists that i can come up with off the top of my head-- might add more later!

polarized-here

polar's artworks is what i like to describe as comforting as it consists of neat lineart and cell shading with glowing effects! they're probably most commonly known for their admin!jesse au, which is a fucking BADASS au with the coolest concept artwork that i've seen?? like hands down, stunning with a stunning execution of it. polar's artwork are like,,, holy shit man. they're such a cool person :)

terracomets

rusty is a phenomenal artist AND writer who has an au series that i cannot recommend enough called Misfit Mania!! He has a BUNCH of great character designs, including ocs and other medias too! i consider him a jack of all trades bc no matter what fandom, no matter what kind of character it is, rusty always succeeds at great portrayal of them :DD his fav character is axel and as a result, he's got a bunch of fantastic axel artwork on his blog!! :)

mcs-art-etc/lukasdoodles

lukasdoodles has genuinely one of the most unique art styles that i have ever that is both adorable AND menacing /pos at times. their artwork consists of colorful lineart, and INSANELY detailed clothings, like oh my god. they're also INSANELY creative when it comes to it as well, putting in so many ruffles, and belts, and!!! so much more!! not only that but they have a bunch of blaze rods drawings on their blog!! including gill, who i think is one of the underrated characters in mcsm! they also do some animation every now and then, which is always so cool to see!!

zonerz

zonerz is one of those dual part artist and dual part writers with their great artwork and writing! they're really good at putting together lore and is super in-depth when it comes down to the nitty gritty! their armor drawings are really well done and i admire the attention to details with every single one of their drawings!!

zoomire

fel is one of the coolest fucking people i have ever met and #1 cassie rose fan. their artstyle reminds me of traditional paintings that you would find in a museum, like it is so refined and their character anatomy is ON POINT with how they draw muscles and scars so realistically. their aiden design is also one of the most dazzling to me bc of how they incorporate lightning into his scars. ALSO a huge aidrose fan if not THE president of the goddamn ship. they have so many character analysis on them both together and separately and they're always written SO WELL WITH SO MUCH RESPECT TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL.

a lost crow

crow has a bunch of fantastic mcsm content but one of their most fascinating ones is their command!lukas au, which has a whole story to go alongside it but i won't spoil it ;) and their individual jesse au where every single jesse has their own personality traits and they're so unique and well written!! absolutely love both au to bits!

acraftedmistake

acraftedmistake's art is unique in the sense that it is purely traditional and takes great advantage of paper texture as well as textures from markers and pens to make its presence known! to add to that, they do a bunch of mcsm work themed around horror! i do need to put a warning that they sometimes involve gore though it is very artistically done!! phenomenal artist!!

zhezhy

Zhenya has enough content to the point where i can make an entire POST this long to talk about her and the absolutely stunning drawings she makes about mcsm, particularly about the old order of the stone. she excels at drawing ivor, harper, and soren the most, though she has dwelved into other characters that haven't had the most light shed on them. my absolute favorite thing about her artwork is her artstyle because it is this GORGEOUS sketchy style where both the colors and the lines express themselves SO WELL and SO EFFECTIVELY! i can go raving mad about it honestly

offeathersandcube/novatheastropirate

Nova's artwork, i would like to define it, is filled with love and care. Her lineart and coloring patterns are colorful and light, as if they were drawn for the illustration for a book series, filled with so much delight. Nova's specialty is how she both writes and draws Ellegaard with so much appreciation for her character and through her portrayal of her. It's nothing short of dedication and heart. Nova's other works are also great as well and they do a lot to show Nova's artistic talent.

[mysticbeaver]

randomly asking cuz im curious lmao but what kind of music are you into? what are your favorite artists and songs? from what i've seen you're mostly into classic rock, right? (which btw the classic rock to eene pipeline is really funny and quite fascinating but that's another story.)

Oh I'm glad you asked!!! Boy now I can go on a rant 😁

Ok, I'm one of those folks who have a hard time explaining what kind of music I listen to... classic rock was definitely my upbringing since I was a child - like the Who, Led Zep, AC/DC (I feel slightly embarassed by that nowadays, sorry AC/DC fans 😅 good memories tho).

As a teen I started going into 70s progressive rock, especially King Crimson, which I consider my favorite band ever for the simple fact I've been able to stomach pretty much everything they ever put out, even the most self-indulgent and tough to listen stuff (the "ProjeKcts"). I also fell in love with some art-pop (Peter Gabriel, David Sylvian) and generally got more adventurous and tried to slowly discover other artists (but always unabashedly behind the times haha). I went through a Bowie phase, tbf I still don't think I truly "get" Bowie lol, but one of his most interesting albums to me is Outside, probably the weirdest thing he's ever done. I also got into some electronic stuff, Tangerine Dream, Yello (two funny looking swiss guys, you might be familiar with that meme song Oh Yeah lmao). I'm also extremely familiar with Tom Waits... (I'll mention Captain Beefheart since we're at it) I've delved into jazz here and there, Pat Metheny is the first thing that comes to mind, but I'm pathetically ignorant on the genre.

The latest artist I went through a phase and now consider one of my favorites is the band Talk Talk. Their short history is mindblowing, they went from "80s one-hit-wonder pop band" to making music completely out of its time. The Color Of Spring is the best 80s-pop-album-that-doesn't-sound-80s I've ever heard, and Spirit Of Eden is... something, lmao. That album and their last one, Laughing Stock were apparently very influential on later artists in the 90s and onwards, and are now considered masterpieces despite not selling very well at the time. The enigmatic band leader Mark Hollis eventually took the genius decision to... retire (gasp) and disappear from public view for the rest of his life (I think some "artists" out there could learn a lesson from that 🤐)

John Martyn's album One World is another recent favorite, a folk rock guitarist who got kinda trippy/experimental and recorded an album by a small lake, sometimes recording the sound of the speakers in the distance... there's a beautiful track on there called Small Hours where you can even faintly hear the geese.

Finally I want to mention two historical italian artists I'm familiar with - Franco Battiato and Lucio Battisti. I've always shunned music from my country when I was younger, but I'm trying to make up for it, and those two really captivated me (although if you grew up in Italy you can't escape hearing Battisti's more famous hit songs, also apparently Bowie was a big fan, so I've read...)

All of this is just the tip of the iceberg, what came to my head right now. Btw, I wanna know what the "classic rock to eene pipeline" is haha

[rescue-ram]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @majorbaby :3c

Tagging @dustbunny105 @lyledebeast @tirednecromancer @optimisticfruitcup @itwoodbeprefect @lukestarkillerisgay and anyone else who wants to try it out

How many works do you have on AO3?: 51

What's your total AO3 word count?: 318,236

What fandoms do you write for?: MASH, X-Men, Transformers, and Star Wars primarily, with a few other fandoms mixed in as the spirit moved me :3

What are your top five fics by kudos?: Matched Set (DBH), Turn, Turn (Sandman/Old Guard), Better Than I Know Myself (Moon Knight), Resolute (Star Wars), Expedient Means (DBH)

Do you respond to comments? Honestly not usually. It just wasn't much of a thing in the corners of fandom I came up in, so I never formed the habit or expectation. I do appreciate all comments and periodically try and go through and respond, especially to very nice ones!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Come and See (Hannibal) ends with murder/suicide...

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Genuinely don't know. I feel like a lot of my fics have tonally similar endings, where they're happyish or hopeful, but there's an element of uncertainty of bittersweetness...

Do you get hate on fics? No.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Ahaha... Yee. Pretty much exclusively gay or robot sex. This year I descended fully into The Id Vortex which was genuinely a psyche changing experience in a positive ways highly recommend.

Do you write crossovers? I had forgotten the Sandman/Old Guard fic was a crossover until I looked up my fics by kudos XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No

Have you ever had a fic translated? No

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No

What's your all time favorite ship? TrapHawk was a primordial OTP that has fully taken over my brain kdjdjd...

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Only You Can Find Me or as I call it X-Men Band AU... I fully have like 4 acts outlined, and very elaborate backstories for all the characters in the AU, but it took a lot of research into really weird stuff to actually write, and it just got to be overwhelming, and I kind of lost confidence/momentum in it...

What are your writing strengths? I don't know how to describe it. I think I'm pretty solid? And I have read enough I know what annoys me and I don't do those things XD I think I generally do a good job of keeping things in character and clearly motivated, I think I do a good job setting and maintaining a tone, and I try to be pretty intentional with the scenes I write. I also am pretty fast once I get going.

What are your writing weaknesses? I have a bad habit of "listing" (and this happened and this happened and this happened), and I think I don't elide as much as I could. I also worry about being too introspective or self-indulgent, and I think I have a pretty specific writing style and I always worry my narrators sound too similar. I also do 90% of my writing on my phone so I'm locked in eternal battle with typos and autocorrect correcting the wrong thing.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I indulge in this sometimes- was having a little too much fun with the sci-fi conlangs in Star Wars fic lol. I've done it a few times in other fandoms for color, but I try and make sure that what's being said is clear in context or translated afterwards.

First fandom you wrote for? Agh, like Digimon fanfic in 2001 or something crazy XD

Favorite fic you've written? Genuinely struggled to pick one, but I think Making the Most of It was both really fun to write, really fun to read, and I am proud of how it turned out- it accomplished what I set out to write and then some...

[billiedeanhwrd]

when i fell you were there, with your hands in the air

cordelia goode x fem!reader

summary: your depression is hitting you harder than most days, cordelia comforts you 🤍

warnings: depression, slight mention of childhood trauma, it's angsty mental health fluff basically

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this is my first ever fanfic and i'm very very nervous about it, so pls don't be too harsh, constructive criticism is very much welcome though!! also i'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. i also have to add that this was very much self indulgent and based on my own experience with depression, so if you don't relate, that's fine, everyone experiences it differently. I hope you enjoy it tho, have fun reading <3

today was one of those days again. one of those days where everything seemed grey and pointless. one of those days where taking a shower was too exhausting. one of those days where it didn't matter if you left your clothes on the floor or a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. one of those days where you isolated yourself. one of those days that seemed to return to you every morning for almost 3 weeks now.

you had been struggling with depression for years now and attending therapy regularly still didn't take away from the embarrassment you felt about your illness. cordelia didn't know, you didn't want to burden her with your subjectively "silly" problems. It wasn't easy hiding something so life consuming from your lover, but whenever you were with her you felt as though you could reach for the stars and there was no point in ruining happy moments with sad stories.

Whenever you felt really depressed and unable to function, you isolated yourself. Cordelia and you had been together for 7 months now and the first time she thought she had done something wrong which had resulted in you needing space from her, but when she confronted you, you reassured her that sometimes you needed some time to yourself because you were a more introverted person. While that might be true, you wanted nothing more than for her to take you into her arms and tell you everything was going to be okay again, but the fear of possibly burdening the already very busy supreme held you back from confessing what was weighing you down.

you were used to this already, you always kept your darkness to yourself, too afraid of being too much or being abandoned by your loved ones, while the rational side of you knew that the people in your life who truly meant something to you would never abandon you because of your chronic depression, anxiety left no room for rationality.

you were always feeling kind of down, but some days it was easier to cope and enjoy your day despite that... and then there were those phases where you felt unusually down, those phases that caused you to isolate yourself and wait for the storm to pass in solitude. They usually lasted only a few days or maximum a week, but this one had been going on for much longer. cordelia was worried, you had never needed so much "alone time to recharge your social battery", but she didn't want to overstep your boundaries and possibly push you away, because what you weren't aware of was that cordelia too struggled with abandonment issues and fearing she would be "too much" (which she could never be for you, you adored every single second you could spend in the blonde witch's presence).

After leaving multiple text messages and trying to call you, only to be greeted by your voicemail, cordelia took it upon herself to see what was going on with you. The knocking on your door would've usually startled you, but you had just ordered a pizza, too tired to prepare a meal yourself and assumed the delivery was faster than they had stated on their website. your jaw fell open and the door was quickly closed again, shit shit shit, what am i supposed to do now? the place looks like a mess, i can't let cordelia se-

"y/n can you open the door please?" she asked in her gentle voice. "Uh, yeah, give me a second" you replied, hastily throwing on a hoodie that had been lying around on your couch, coincidentally that hoodie being one you stole from cordelia a few weeks ago, something that made your girlfriend's heart warm up a little and relieve her of some of the worried thoughts she had that this might be your way of signaling to her that you no longer wished to be in a relationship with her.

"can we talk? i haven't seen you in three weeks and you haven't answered any of my texts... what's going on? you know you can talk to me about anything..."

"uhm, yes, of course. sit down, make yourself at home, would you like anything to drink?"

"no, thank you, i just want to talk to you"

you didn't have the energy to lie to the woman who held your heart in her hands anymore, you were terrified of her reaction, not only to you being mentally ill but also to you hiding it for so long.

"i'm so sorry delia, please don't be mad", you anxiously stuttered out. cordelia grabbed your hand and smiled reassuringly, signaling for you to continue talking.

"I didn't tell you before because i know you've already got so much going on with the academy and i didn't want to pile onto that with my irrelevant issues... I was diagnosed with depression amongst other things a few years ago, it's something i have to deal with every day and some days are easier than others, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me and i feel like i'm lost in an ocean of a sadness so powerful, i can feel the pain on my body. I know it can be challenging to be close to someone with severe mental issues and I understand if you don't want to continue being with me, i would never want you to stay with me because you pity me or because you're afraid i'd do something to myself if you'd left, you're not responsible for my feelings or actions and i would never want to impose you with such a burden and-"

you stopped rambling when you noticed the tears flowing down cordelia's cheeks.

your eyes widened and your heart started pounding rapidly in your chest. "i'm sorry, was that too much?"

"no, no, no, no, no... it just pains me to know that you've been dealing with this on your own for such a long time because you don't value yourself enough to believe that other people might want to support you through your everyday battles. y/n, i know you, you're the girl who's always there when someone else needs a shoulder to cry on, anytime, anyplace, you always go out of your way to make others feel seen and accepted, why would you ever think that you don't deserve the kindness you so openly give to others?"

now it was you who was crying, cordelia was right, you didn't value yourself enough to believe that. you didn't actively think of yourself as less than others but that thought always unconsciously motivated the way you dealt with the things that were bothering you.

cordelia patted her lap, signaling for you to sit on her lap and come into her arms. you hesitated though, you weren't used to being so vulnerable and open with your emotions and it scared the shit out of you. you feared cordelia was possibly annoyed at you and was only doing this to get it over with and then get out. she watched you, while you were anxiously deciding what your next move would be, her heart broke for you, you looked like a scared baby dear when all she wanted to do was to comfort you.

"baby, look at me"

her chocolate colored eyes were so full of love, simply looking into them managed to get your heart rate down.

"it's okay, i'm not mad at you for talking about your feelings and all i want to do right now is to hug some of your pain away, so please, let me hold you"

you melted at her gentle words and understanding nature, cordelia was an incredibly smart woman, who went through traumatic things herself and even from that little information you shared, she understood you. she saw her younger self in you, so incredibly lonely but oh, so scared of being vulnerable with another person, due to the emotional abuse her mother subjected her to, and while she might not have gone through the same things you did, she felt like she understood your feelings in this exact moment and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe with her.

you slowly crawled into her lap, still afraid this was all a trick to hurt you, but when she started combing through your hair and reassuringly whispering "i've got you" and "you're here with me, i promise you, you're safe", you relaxed into her arms.

after about half an hour of laying there with each other, calming down and enjoying the other one's warmth, you spoke up.

"delia?"

"yes, my love?"

"so you're not leaving me?", you hesitantly asked.

cordelia sat up and looked straight in your eyes while asking "would you leave someone you love because they're depressed?"

"no, never"

"then tell me, sweetheart, why would i leave you?"

her response left you speechless, you almost missed her confessing her love. "you love me?"

she hugged you tight and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "more than anything, and please, never worry about telling me about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, no matter what it is, i wanna know, okay?"

you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding and confidently replied "okay"

a few minutes passed before you spoke up again when you remembered you didn't say those 3 special words back.

"i love you too, by the way"

cordelia smiled lovingly and stood up to reach out for your hand and pull you up. "i know, now let's go to bed, we can clean up this place tomorrow"

you accepted her helping hand and engulfed her in a hug. the way she so naturally used the word "we" and didn't seem to mind helping you clean up your mess of an apartment made you more emotional than you'd like to admit.

And while you knew this would not be the last time you were overwhelmed by your depression, you now knew that you could count on the woman who loved you to stand by your side and help you get through even your hardest day.

[aelinbitch-archive]

You've probably said this before but what's your favorite aspect of the TOG series? I've only read like ten pages of the first book lol

aaaaa thank u for asking!! this sort of leads into something i’ve been meaning to talk about for a while so i hope you’re prepared for An Essay No One Wanted By Me. anyway this is a two-part answer, read below:

1. Aelin. Celaena. The main bitch, whatever you wanna call her lol. Without her I probably wouldn’t have cared about the series at all and wouldn’t currently be trapped in ToG tumblr hell reluctantly stanning a racist and homophobic series, but unfortunately when I was like twelve years old or whatever and read the first book I literally imprinted on Celaena like a baby duckling. To the extent that she became, like, the default avatar for all my maladaptive daydreaming and If I Don’t Project On Her At All Times I Will Die. It’s not like she’s the only thing I like about the series (I loooove a lot of the other characters, especially the gals, and the writing can be really great and engaging and cinematic) but Aelin has always been the supermassive black hole at the center of it all for me. I wouldn’t know how to even begin untangling her character from my psyche at this point. It’s honestly a little disturbing. Anyway. 

2. Part two is a quality of the series that I feel was unprecedented in its strength in the first five books of the series (ToG-QoS plus the prequel novellas) and really really disappointingly weak in the last two books (EoS-KoA). Like I said above, Aelin has always been my main interest in tog so I read and enjoyed the last two anyway, but I definitely felt the loss of this - “this” being the detail and attention paid to all different types of relationships between characters, and how rich and unpredictable those relationships were as a result. 

That sounds like kind of a broad, vague thing, but what I mean is that (in my opinion) rarely are romances and friendships and rivalries explored with such nuance, complexity, drama, and realism in most YA as they are in ToG. I remember reading Cassandra Clare’s books (lmao.) as a pre teen and loving those as well, but totally being able to predict who was going to end up with who, and finding the character dynamics to be pretty cut and dry. 

In ToG that’s not the case at all. Like, you’ve got Celaena and Sam, a really complex example of enemies to lovers to….. Tragically Dead Boyfriend Whose Demise Fuels My Guilt and Self-Hatred For Seven More Books, Lysandra and Aelin, two girls pitted against each other by their abuser who team up a year later to unlearn their internalized misogyny and kill him, and Aelin and Chaol, who… how do I even describe the ups and downs (and downs. and more downs) of their relationship. 

And that’s just three pairs! Pull the names of two characters out of a hat and I can almost guarantee essays worth of material could be written about them. Arobynn and Aelin? Aelin and Nehemia? Chaol and Dorian, as much as I hate both of them and feel that their relationship as been widely mischaracterized? All fascinating!!! No two people in those first few books are just friends, or just lovers, or just enemies. It’s always more complex, there’s always a history or tension or competing agendas or viewpoints that Fuck Shit Up. 

And benefit of that is twofold: one, everything that happens between the characters just…. lands so well. The betrayals and triumphs and losses and victories of The Assassin’s Blade and Crown of Midnight and Queen of Shadows (especially TAB) are fucking heart-stopping. It’s great character-driven entertainment!! Gripping and engaging and vivid to the point of being painful. 

And two, there’s no way to predict where a relationship is going to go. Aelin and Lysandra teaming up in QoS instead of returning to their rivalry? Who would have thought! Ansel and Celaena’s summer fling (they were in love. fight me.) ending like That? Holy fuck. Nesryn and Chaol breaking up in ToD? Oh shit! I fell for it again! Rowan and Aelin ending up together after everyone swore they were brotp in HoF? Hell yeah! Chaolaena seeming like endgame and then ending forever, with Chaol and Aelin realizing that the rift between them that began in CoM was something that would never sufficiently heal? Unprecedented. Fucking badass for a YA book to curve everyone like that. Tween me was shook out of her mind. 

(Important to note, though, that the downside of this style was that SJM couldn’t tell where ~unpredictable relationships and characters~ ended and fridging began, and as a result, not one but two woc were killed off to make white characters sad and it sucked beyond belief). 

Aaaaaand then QoS, the peak of literature, turned into EoS, and SJM just… gave up on all of that. I remember the first time Dorian and Manon met, and I was like oh, okay. So they’re going to end up together. And I was right. I remember that on this site, before EoS came out, before Lorcan and Elide ever fucking MET, people predicted the existence of Elorcan!! And they were right!! Like how fucking boring? Everyone is just paired off into completely predictable heterosexual ships and those are now the only relationships we get to read about (with a few exceptions, like Aelin/Aedion, Aelin/Fenrys, etc.). 

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: my least favorite thing about Manorian is not that I find the relationship to be shitty (although I do, I really do). It’s that Dorian is suddenly the only character Manon gets to interact with in any meaningful way. 

Like, are you kidding?! I want to read about Manon and Elide, Manon and Asterin, Rowan and Lorcan, Aelin and Lysandra, Aelin and Nesyrn, even if it’s not romantically (although some of them, like Manon and Elide, absolutely should have been, and the fact that not only was that ship very thoroughly sunk, but also they didn’t even get to TALK after QoS, felt like a real slap in the face to gay fans, but I digress), because those pairings previously had hella complexity and drama. But we don’t get to. 

And this trend that’s so painfully present in the last two books Sucks for two reasons: one, every relationship that isn’t romantic (which were previously some of the most interesting ones) is abandoned so that more time can be made for The Hets™ and two, the relationships that are romantic, now the only ones left, are totally fucking boring and predictable!! If two characters are interacting at any point (if one is male and the other is female, of course) then you know for a fact that they’re not only love interests, but endgame. 

And that makes me not care even when there is drama between them. Elide giving Lorcan the cold-shoulder for three hundred pages, and Manon and Dorian arguing, and Aedion being cruel to Lysandra weren’t compelling narratives to me like they should have been, because the whole time I was just thinking “but it doesn’t matter. I know it’s still endgame. There are no stakes here whatsoever; it’s a done deal.” Whereas Chaol and Celaena’s devestating breakup in CoM felt like (and was) suuuuper Real. An all-in bet on the wrong person. Crazy shit. 

And not that I think two characters should never have a happy ending together (I really like rowaelin and nestaq and I would have loved malide!) but imagine how much cooler and subversive and entertaining it would have been if Elorcan, which seemed soooo totally cute and endgamey and borderline like fanfiction throughout all of EoS just ended forever right there and then on the beach, with Elide turning to Lorcan and saying “I hope you spend the rest of your miserable, immortal life suffering. I hope you spend it alone. I hope you live with regret and guilt in your heart and never find a way to endure it” - and BAM. She never speaks to him again. He’s dead to her. 

I mean, talk about shock value! (See, Sarah, you can have shock value without killing of a person of color to make a white character sad 🙃). And I totally get that relational twists like that alienate fans more than just going the expected route and having them kiss and make-up does (I mean, the ending of Chaolaena in QoS certainly did, Jesus Christ) but I, Bella aelinbitch, personally live for that shit, and isn’t it only fair that all media cater directly and specifically to me? Lmao. But seriously, I do think it’s objectively more interesting, and that it keeps readers on their toes (I was on my ASS in EoS and KoA. Like. I was flat on my back sinking into the Earth). 

And there are still sort of… glimmers of the old way she wrote in the first few books, but it just feels like a tease rather than something that’s really explored and indulged in the way it was before, and it just ends up being more frustrating (like what was the point of Manon and Dorian not getting married at the end of KoA if I would bet my life savings that in World of Tog it’ll be confirmed that they’re either married or still together) and sometimes downright problematic? Like to return to a previous example, I think all the drama between Aedion + Lysandra was a result of Sarah’s previous (good) instincts to shake stuff up and complicate the character dynamics, but it backfires because when they end up together, it’s not ever… worked out? Or addressed? If you create really intense drama between two people, then that needs to show up in their relationship, no matter how happy they end up together. It doesn’t just disappear.

And despite the fact that her understanding of that concept (that shit between two people doesn’t just disappear like magic) is one of my absolute favorite things about the first few books, Sarah even went as far as to use the last two books to retcon some of the original complexity away, which makes me want to rip out my hair!! Like Aelin at the end of KoA just going “Love you Chaol and Love you Dorian xoxoxoxoxox best friends forever!!!” instead of having, like, any type of mixed feelings about the way these boys treated her? I mean, come on! 100 pages earlier Chaol was openly saying she should die instead of Dorian! Why is everything just peachy-keen instead of fraught with tension!! (I know why. I know. It’s because she introduced way too many characters/POVs/storylines as the series went on and didn’t know what to do with them all besides sideline the nonromantic ones and pair off everyone else boy-girl boy-girl down the line). Or if it has to be peachy-keen, why is the peachy-keeness never critically examined as, perhaps, a repressive mechanism for Aelin to avoid dealing with painful truths from her past? Now that would be interesting. 

(My ideal World of ToG would be just a transcript of the characters’ therapy sessions where Aelin realizes that her insistence that “Chaol and Dorian Are Her Friends!” is actually a way to keep herself safe emotionally and that she has plenty of reasons to hate them, and Lysandra realizes she should divorce Aedion lmao).  

Anyway tldr: The variety, complexity, depth, and unpredictability of the relationships in Throne of Glass was simultaneously the most realistic (sometimes relationships of all kinds fall apart or veer off in unexpected directions and love is temporary and the boy you met in the first chapter isn’t actually your soulmate and it doesn’t mean he’s a villain) and the most gripping and dramatic (I would have been totally chill if maeve and erawan weren’t a thing and tog was just like a medieval soap opera, that’s how entertaining the character dynamics were) thing about the series, and to lose that in the last two books because of Heterosexuality (and introducing too many POVs and not knowing what to do with them all)…. kinda devastating. 

This ended up being waaaaaay more complaining than it was talking about what I loved, but the only reason it bothers me so much is because it used to be so good!!! So just imagine the inverse of all the frustration I just vomited into this ask and you’ll have a good idea of how much I loved the series when things weren’t this way.

[acerstella]

 “The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you've come.”

I used to rebel against this notion hard core. How could you not look backwards? That's where the good memories and lessons to be learned live.

It took a complete dismantling of my identity as I understood it to convince myself the only path forward was to abandon this idea too and just face forward. Challenging my personal ideas and those that other tried to thrust on me in particular helped push me on. Sometimes my greatest motivation is proving people wrong, especially when it comes from people who think they know better. Goddamn enneagram 6s and their need for authority figures. Not that they are all bad. I have just had the rotten luck to come across ones that think its their life purpose to "enlighten" me based on their authority figures' ideas and then call me the judging one when I disregard them.

A year and half ago, a 6 I was very close to decided that my depression was a serious call to action to "show me the error of my thoughts and actions" and show me the better way to live. I was only looking for someone to sympathize with and instead ended up with a poorly-attempted intervention of 1. We shortly parted ways after that. I'll admit to grieving the loss but it did not take long for me to step away from my emotions (as 5s are wont to do) and became aggrieved and insulted. Nothing like a lengthy conversation with 1s and 8s to decide where anger is actually warranted.

I took that anger and in a spark of inspiration, shaped it into fuel for my ambition. I usually avoided this as 3s have a tendency to piss me off when they do this, from the ones I had lived with. Normally, I was fine with having a negative self-image and indulged in self-deprecating behavior. But something about this extended judgement from a ex-close friend had stung my pride, a rare accomplishment with my icy walls. All that I had done so far with my life, what I did, who I was with, where I was had been dismissed as wrong and not significant. I grabbed tight onto my rarely indulged ambition and began to stride through my life with purpose, rather than letting it just happen to me as I usually did.

I formed a vision of myself, something I had not allowed myself to do in years and visualized it down to the smallest details. I allowed myself to enjoy the hobbies I actually wanted to, not what others were into so that I had someone to talk to about them. I quit holding myself back with my fiance out of a sense of preservation and unabashedly expressed my emotions (...when I can and in private. There are limitations to how far out of my comfort zone I will go.) I went back to learning and researching, the skills I hone the best and find enjoyment out of most. I returned to studying language and history in free time again. I cut off all my hair and colored it as I pleased, fashioning it into a rather masculine icy blonde cut. I gave in fully to my tomboy fashion sensibilities again, this time with an edgy and professional flair, complete with the trappings I used to think were far beyond my reach or not what would make me fit in. After all, my ambition had one very singular goal: prove that what I did with my life was worthwhile. One must look the part, you see.

Over the course of the last year and a half, I made great strides, letting my skills at work prove my worth. Admittedly, I've never been this career-focused in my life but drastic change was necessary to propel my life forward.

I've been promoted twice, on the cusp of a third in no small part to taking on all challenges and networking, something I usually don't do. I pulled on all the attributes I could, carefully banking my typical fear and making myself a worthwhile player. There is no one in positions of power at my company who does not know my name and reputation as one of the best, up as far as the COO, who I have challenged on occasion. In a growing multi-national company of 2.5k, I consider that no small feat. I have the loyalty of a large selection of staff and the respect of most of leadership that if I wanted to start a coup, I probably could. Instead, I use that to help keep a sinking account afloat, the largest one this company has, on the client's largest headquarters. My third promotion is almost guaranteed as I have earned the respect and loyalty of my superiors to the point they have paved the way for me. They are providing the best people possible to help me and the freedom to control the entire eastern side of the account that is growing larger by the month and houses the client's long-term plans, as well as some of their most restricted sites. All within less than 18 months.

If I was in contact with the 6 who directly dismissed all of what I say and do, I know their response would be something like "I'm happy I was able to inspire you to change. You needed to do something." From their point of view, they would be right.

But I would not give them the satisfaction. Although I'm not done yet with my transformation, I already know from glancing backwards that I have already surpassed them. The positive notion I can take from this is that there was no competition to start with. They don't know I've done all this. I have not posted to the one social medium we share in many years and I won't until my transformation is complete, when I'm ready to reveal myself. In the meantime, I keep moving forward, knowing there's a lot of good in my future for once. I can feel pride in my accomplishments, something that I have not been able to do since my father dismissed me as worthless shortly before his death.

"Everyone’s afraid of changes Staying, moving on, staying, moving on We keep repeating the same things again and again I guess that’s life, I’m afraid Old or new, new or old, that isn’t really important What’s important is, that we still breathe and live in the same place So let’s move on" ~Moving On, BTS

It took this long, but I'm finally moving on.

[abyssaldyke]

I can do that here, actually! A lot of this has been said much better by others, but for the sake of spreading the good word, a few tips from me, someone with a master's degree in publishing who does a lot of original writing. Note: these are tips for intermediate writers. If you're a beginner or a kid, my only advice is to go nuts and have a good time feeling out the space to learn what you like. I'm not trying to cut anyone off at the knees here, and the start should be as enjoyable as possible. But for the rest of us:

1. You have to write. It doesn't have to be every day, but you have to do it regularly. Making a playlist does not count. Daydreaming does not count. In order to improve your writing, you have to do it all the time. I've known plenty of people who fetishize writing and pontificate at length about their projects only to find out they've actually written very little, and it's never all that good. Even the absolute dregs on the page will be better than some fanciful illusion that doesn't exist. The best way to improve your writing is to write.

2. You have to read. Not solely classics, not solely fanfiction (note: this applies less if you're writing fanfiction). Ideally, a skilled writer reads a wide swath of genres, particularly the one they're writing in, from a wide variety of reputable voices. ESPECIALLY from writers that have been published in the last 5 years. Prioritizing authors of color and women is never a bad idea when you're reading. This does not mean drop everything and read; I understand folks are busy. But the second best way to improve your writing is reading, so squeeze it in when you can.

3. If you are writing original fiction, at least half of your reading should be original fiction. This is non-negotiable. Fanfiction, while fun, is a wildly stagnant medium and you may find yourself in a plateau. Furthermore, fanfiction communities are largely complimentary and soft on editing, and the combination of a big head and a thin skin does not a good writer make. "But Corinne," you may be thinking, "so and so started out writing fanfiction and still reads fanfiction!" To which I reply that this is the exception, not the rule, and I guarantee they were reading original work too.

3a. You don't have to listen to everyone's critiques, but you should at least take them into consideration. Every single person who has ever edited me has, in some way, been right. Your writing cannot be your baby or your heart or whatever (perhaps the hardest pill to swallow). If it's just for you, that's fine, but if you're pursuing publication, you can't be a diva. The sooner a writer detaches from their work and learns to view it from an objective lens, the sooner the angst will abate and they can actually get some fucking work done.

4. Nothing you write is sacred. Cut mercilessly, but don't delete. Put your cut lines in a separate doc, and knowing they're still around will make editing easier. You can also place your more self-indulgent work in that doc as preemptive fat trimming (this is one of my most vital tricks.)

5. You have to learn the rules before you can break them. Another non-negotiable. You can party with fragments and adverbs and unconventional plot structures AFTER you play the game for a while. Dinner first, then dessert. Those rules will save you when you're stuck. They are your toolbox. Stephen King is an ass but he did write a pretty good book called On Writing which highlights this. I also like Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones.

6. Writer's block is fake. You can get stuck, certainly, but that's just a sign you need to play around in different avenues within the narrative. The concept of a "block" is just plain fear. Your brain didn't turn off overnight. If you're having trouble putting pen to paper, it's important to take a step back and consider why that is. More often than not, it's a fear of failure, which is ludicrous and unhelpful. You won't get it right the first time and that's okay. Unless you're on deadline or breathing your last, you have plenty of time to figure out where you want to go and plenty of time to get there. It's okay to write garbage, and I mean a LOT of garbage. Just write it and you'll see improvement, which is more than can be said for the results of fear, which are nothing. Everything will be fine.

7. Being published poorly is worse than not being published at all. I know when a lot of people think about publishing, they think about big soulless corporations, which do absolutely suck, but the little guys will fuck you just as bad if not worse. I promise that no amount of readership is worth having your work taken from you, and writing to be published is kind of a fool's errand anyway. Never, ever pay to have your work published. Beware of predatory small presses and read everything you sign. An agent is helpful for these matters and if you aren't working with one, you need to stay extra sharp.

This is, of course, not comprehensive writing advice. There is no 'said isn't dead' or 'here's how to structure your writing.' These are just my 7.5 hard to swallow pills that I've learned over years of trial and error. I'm more than willing to cover other topics and put my degree to use, so if you have any questions I would love to hear them!

A good 10% of why I want to be a visible writer is to impart my good but kinda hard to swallow tough love writing advice upon the people.