#I beat the game and honestly the best game I’ve ever played!!!!

[stars-on-fyre]

Beat Disco Elysium and 1) because Kim was shot I had Cuno and he became a junior detective, 2) I’m so upset that Kim wasn’t with me for that fucking Phasmid so we could’ve had a picture of it for my best friend Lena :’( and 3) this is the best game I’ve ever played

[phantomsies]

my dress up darling • ony

convincing your friend to go to a convention with you turned out to be the best idea ever!…but it’s what happens before the event even arrives that makes it all the more fun..

📝: blerd!ony, black fem!reader (plus size coded), PWP, finger sucking, thigh riding, fingering, handjob, pet names used (mama, baby, she slips up and calls him daddy), lots of praise, tit/nipple play, nasty hotel sex, tiny mentions of blood + injury, reader is a seamstress/cosplayer, missionary, squirting, friends to lovers, lots of humor and banter, creampie, aftercare

word count: 6.3K

this was a lil something I’ve been wanting to write for the longest bc blerd!ony altered my brain chemistry and I miss him tremendously (and the next time I go to a con, I’m totally not hoping to manifest a tall, darkskin, nerdy cosplayer bf🌚 just joking y’all! That would literally never happen. But I hope y’all enjoy this

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

“Ow..damn, this hurts already..”

“You good over there, mama? What’s wrong?”

the deep voice belted out in a rather low and calm tone..cool and collected, that’s how he always was. Nonchalant to a fault and that was just one of the many things you loved about him. Hence why you had invited him along to this little venture in the first place. However, at the moment…you quite frankly could not stand his ass! Through gray colored contacts, (y/n) shot the tall male next to you an icy glare..one signifying just how ‘good’ you were!

“Oh, I’m just fine, Ony. Despite the fact that my legs are still shaking and I’m sore as hell.”

a statement that should not have garnered a single chuckle out of anyone had your very handsome homeboy doubling over in laughter. He could tell by the look on your face that you were still a little peeved at him for the previous night and this morning. Honestly, you’d never want to fight a single person in your life but if you thought you could beat him, you’d ask him to spar just one time. “What the hell is so funny?” “Nothing at all, you just seem a lil’ stressed.” Feigning his humor as he pressed the key fob to lock the doors of his 2022 Camaro..a beautiful specimen, much like the man driving it. Honestly, it should’ve been illegal to be this fine but you knew exactly what you were signing up for when you decided to come to this convention with him! Three days full of dressing up, video games and all of the collectible items and rare figurines that one’s nerdy little heart could desire. It was an event that you had been looking forward to for months and it was only the icing on the cake when your favorite cashier turned cosplay buddy decided to tag along! You’d discovered Onyakopon’s, or just Ony as everyone called him; his love for nerdy things after you came into his store on a late night with a random anime shirt on and he was all hyped to see someone else that looked like him, especially a girl..that was into this same stuff. Since that day, the two of you spoke every chance you got to gush over your favorite shows and game series, all but holding up the lines to do so. Soon, that bond carried over outside of his workplace and the two of you began hanging out. Even going to a manga and anime cafe for your first outing. You were so excited to have a friend who shared your similar interests. Eventually, you divulged to Ony that you were a cosplayer and that’s when he stumbled upon your Instagram page. Which was littered with photos of you in beautiful costumes…some very detailed and intricate and others..very revealing and sexy! Make no mistake, he drew an issue with neither one but to see your duality from a girl who walked around in long graphic tees with characters on them and sweatpants to seeing you with your ass out, dressed as one of his fictional crushes, had him very conflicted! But what impressed him even more was the fact that each one of those beautiful outfits you were wearing?

You had hand sewn each one yourself! Spending weeks at a time crafting each one. Hence why your page was so much more bare than other girls he’d seen doing the same craft. It wasn’t that you loved it any less, you just didn’t have the luxury of tossing on any old, run of the mill Amazon ensemble from some third party buyer whose plus sizes looked like they’d fit a middle schooler at best. So instead of giving it up altogether, you took the liberty of learning how to stitch them together yourself to ensure the perfect fit. So naturally, it came as no surprise that when you revealed this secret to him, he wanted you to curate his very first cosplay as well! Ony had long since dreamed of dressing up as characters such as Kratos, Jin Kazuma and all the other badass video game giants he adored. Not only did go out and purchase hundreds of dollars worth of materials for you to make his dream costume come to life, but he offered to cover the costs of everything for the weekend. Just because he was so gracious to you and excited to be going. You made it your mission to ensure that he’d be left in awe when he put it on! The character in question? None other than Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat and you decided to accompany him as the antagonist’s wife, Sindel. You both looked incredible. But leading up this moment, things had gotten a little out of control, thanks to your companion over there!..who didn’t seem to be phased at all.

“Aye listen, to be fair, you started it. I just finished it.” Prompting you to smack your lips and cut your eyes at the shirtless male. Who was glistening in the sunlight and not making matters any better. “Whatever, I think you were betting on sum’ shit like that to happen.” “Shit, I ain’t mad that it did and I know you not either.”

but just what was Ony referring to? Well…it all began last night in the hotel room…

flashback

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

“Ony! Can you stay still, please? I’m tryna finish this last piece.”

“C’mon, ma. Can’t you do it later on?”

“If it gets any later, imma be sleep so no. You can pause that damn game and wait for me to finish sewing this on.”

it was around eight thirty at night..dark had fallen cast over the skies and faint crackles of thunder resounded throughout the air. Luckily, the two of you were safe from any potential storms in the confines of your spacious hotel room. A luxury, double bed suite at the Best Western; only two blocks away from the convention venue. The last thing either of you wanted to be worried about was having to drive forever to get there and then have no parking or having to wait in a long line. It was a mistake you’d made several times when attending these events alone but Ony wanted his very first time to be absolutely perfect. Not to mention, he didn’t want you having to walk far in your heels. DragonCon was by far one of the largest conventions in the country and people of all kinds came to the illustrious event to have fun, make friends and of course, show off their cosplays. You and Ony had decided on the video game greats, Sindel and Shao Kahn from Mortal Kombat. You had loved Sindel since you first began playing the series and she became your favorite. So a year ago, you decided to craft her iconic purple suit and the staff to go along with it. So you were all set aside. But he wasn’t going to be as easy…because at the moment, while you were trying to put together the final touches on his outfit, he was clicking away at a controller, which made it difficult to get the stitching right. But you knew how it went…when you found yourself gridlocked in an important match or battle and couldn’t stop at the moment.

“Awww, c’mon! You keep blocking, bro. I hate this damn combo—“

it was at that moment when you were bringing the curved needle up through the loin cloth piece and securing the stitch, did he jump and not only cause you to lose balance, but send that needle right through your finger! Poking the index pad and breaking the skin. “OW!” On instinct, you’d jump back and immediately, Ony dropped his controller, finally breaking focus on what he was doing. You were bleeding but nothing too major. Alas though, he felt instantaneously guilty and reached for you. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Making an attempt to check on you. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel bad so you’d downplay your pain and try to brush it off. But he was quick to run to the bathroom to grab some paper and bandages to help clean it up. “Here, you sit down..I got you.” You could tell he was remorseful by the way he flew into action but it was just a part of the craft. You’d lost count of how many times you’d singed yourself with a hot glue gun or poked yourself with a needle. Hell, you still had a giant scar on your arm from the time you sliced it, trying to cut material for a prop. It was certainly on the tamer side of the injuries you’d sustained. But just knowing that he was even remotely responsible for your pain, he couldn’t handle that.

“Ony, I’m fine. Really..I’ll just wrap it up later..”

“Nah, I should’ve stopped like you said. That’s my fault.” There was a sudden shift in his tone and you didn’t like it! There was no need for him to feel guilty. But here he was, sitting next to you on the bed as he gently cusped your hand and began first aid. He was a true sweetheart if you’d ever met one. He’d start by wiping it away and cleaning it thoroughly. You told him that a bandaid would only get in the way and keep snagging so you’d just leave it uncovered.

“You good? How you feel?” A question that elicited a laugh from you. You didn’t understand why he was so worked up over something so trivial. “I told you I’m okay. You ain’t got to worry, I’m a big girl. It’s gon’ take more than a lil’ ass needle to break me.” It was then that the two of you found yourselves face to face on the edge of the bed. Everything else had seemed to fall silent or as menial background noise. You noticed that he couldn’t stop staring at you and that he was still clutching your hand. Those deep set eyes of his remained focused on you as he casually slid his thumb across your own. “Yeah..I know. But I just wanna make you straight, that’s all..you know I care about you.” The sentiment sends flutters throughout your stomach. He was so sweet and attentive..it really shocked you that no woman had snatched him up already. He was incredibly handsome, respectful and always kind. You were happy to have someone like him in your life.

“I appreciate that..I’m just happy you decided to come with me. It means a lot. I usually do this by myself so I feel a lot better with you around.”

by now, the mood had shifted from slightly intense to..something far more sensual. Serene and quiet, as if the two of you were lovers confessing your feelings under moonlight. Truth be told, you’d never pictured yourselves as anything other than friends up until that moment. But you were always each other’s ‘person’. Attached and glued at the hip and loving the sense of happiness you brought one another. This peace and safety that came with knowing you could be your authentic selves. Inching closer, Ony would bridge the gap of space between your bodies and place a hand on your thigh. “Well you know I wouldn’t have missed this for anything..getting to be alone with you? It’s the highlight of my year..dressing up and getting to experience my first con with my fine ass girl? I couldn’t ask for better.” You’d feel your skin run hot and pangs shooting off in your stomach as he uttered the words in that deep drawl. You couldn’t believe he was so infatuated with you. Granted, you were beautiful and there wasn’t a time that you doubted yourself but he was unreal. Those pearly white teeth, that gorgeous dark skin, chiseled physique and that height..he nearly drove you insane when you were measuring him for all the pieces and you caught a glimpse of that v-line! Right now, your minds were on a one track path and there was no chance of it derailing.

“..Ony..”

because of this, neither of you could fight your urges a second longer and he’d pose a question you’d been dying to hear. “..Can I kiss you? Lemme thank you for helping me..” and without hesitation.. “I think you know the answer.” ..you gave him the green light. In a matter of moments, he’d curl a finger underneath your chin before pulling your face closer and pressing your mouths together. His soft lips collided with your own and eventually, you’d begin to make out. Shoving your tongues around inside of each other’s jaws. Your palm would creep up to cup his face and you’d find yourselves locked in a heated moment of passion. You found yourselves tangled up; hands colliding and caressing the opposite frame and by the time you came up for air, yours were roaming underneath his tank top and his were all up your slightly parted thighs.

“Here..sit on my lap.” Commanding with such suaveness, you couldn’t move fast enough as those perfectly manicured fingers waved you towards him. Ony would chew at his lower lip after licking; his signature mannerism when he was feeling a bit aroused by you. He’d done it so many times, that he had to quell it and be on his best behavior. But now, he couldn’t be too vexed to do so. He wanted you and you’d realize just how much before the night was over. You’d follow his command, propping yourself on his muscular thigh. It was decorated by a single tattoo of Shenron from Dragon Ball Z, surrounded by the eight balls. It was such beautiful work but if Ony could be rather frank…he wanted nothing more than to have you grinding yourself on it or watch that ass clap against it! A depraved thought but a real one nonetheless.

“I think you deserve a break, baby..been working so hard tryna’ get me right…lemme take care of you for a lil’ bit.” It was once you were stationed on his lap with those legs slightly parted, did he resume those sloppy yet gentle pecks. Intermittently shoving his tongue into your mouth. He’d slowly trail those fingertips across your covered skin; still sheathed by those tights underneath your skirt that you’d worn at dinner. Rips had plagued the inner corners as they’d always done…it was nearly impossible for you to keep those or a pair of fishnets with how thick your flesh was. That didn’t seem to bother him at all though. To Ony, it was the most attractive shit a woman could have. He loved how soft and supple your skin was..always scented with cocoa butter and that sweet perfume he loved so much. He loved how your features just made everything you wore, cosplay or otherwise..look so accentuated. He couldn’t get enough. Meanwhile, those nimble digits worked their way up your skirt and stopped just a centimeter short of your aching center. Unbeknownst to him, this was the first time you’d been so close to a man and in such an intimate setting. But make no mistake, you weren’t scared. In fact, you invited the idea of having him be the first one to ‘deflower’ you.

“You gon’ let me do that, baby?..Can I play with this pretty pussy?..”

the lewd question sending pangs throughout the pit of your belly. You didn’t even hesitate to provide him an answer and before you knew it, he was ripping out the seat of those tights and peeling your panties back. As he suspected, you were dripping. He just knew you’d be some pressure but this was his first bit of confirmation. As you sat idly on his lap, Ony began to toy around with your cunt. Brushing ever so slightly over that clit and running his finger pads along your folds and lips..it was so sticky and he was certain that it tasted even better. A theory he’d put to the test soon enough. However, at the moment, he just wanted to get you stimulated. He wanted to see those cute little reactions when he rubbed on your aching bud and teased it over your hole. Your arm clenched around the back of his neck as you held on for leverage. You’d watch his every move. Following his pace step for step and it was agonizing to see him going so slowly. You needed him to do his worst already!

“Mmm…I knew this shit was gon’ be wet but damn..look at my fingers already and I ain’t even stuck ‘em in..”

referring to the copious amounts of slick coating the tips as he swiped up and down. Over the sound of the crisp air blowing from the vents, he could hear your stirred up secretions, only growing by the minute. And of course, those cute little moans escaping your throat. “Ony…fuck.” “Oh you like that, huh? Like when I play in this pretty hole, don’t you, mama?” All but rhetorically questioning when he finally decided to plunge his middle and index inside simultaneously; nearly making you come undone right there. You couldn’t even elicit a response until he gained a rhythm and slowly worked you over. A single strand of drool seeped from your lips as he gently thrusted those digits back and forth. He could sense just how tight you were from his digits alone. The anticipation to be inside of you was growing stronger. But for now, he’d hide his time and focus solely on your pleasure. Those gentle brown eyes were fluttering and had even rolled back whilst you rolled your hips in a circular motion to meet his movements while incoherent babble left your mouth. But that wouldn’t suffice..he needed to hear you say it.

“Unt uh..use your words, baby. I need to know I’m making you feel good..” and alas, he’d get his answer when he sped up his pace and clutched a hand around your throat. Squeezing ever so slightly to garner his desired reaction. Ony wouldn’t consider himself to be super dominant by any means but he loved taking control to show his girl she had nothing to worry about.

“Y-yeah, daddy. It feels so fucking good.” The name slipping out casually as you pounced up and down on those two fingers. You’d felt a slight tinge of embarrassment but Ony on the other hand? Felt empowered. He never really cared for the term but hearing you utter it with those mellifluous moans, he was reconsidering! In fact, he needed to hear it again. “That’s my good girl…here, lemme take this off too.” Referencing your tube top that had been housing those ample breasts and concealed under your sweater at the restaurant. For now though, he wanted to see his gifts unwrapped. “Fuck..these big ass titties so pretty, baby. I love the way they sit up..”

it was then that he’d bury his face between them and alternate between each one’s nipple while his fingers remained nestled inside of that warmth. They’d slowly work around, twisting until they prodded your g-spot and his tongue swirled those brown buds, lapping and licking. A combination of the stimulating movements had caused you to make quite the mess of his leg with creamy juices spilling forth. You were squirming, becoming restless and in need of an orgasm already. But Ony was enjoying this far more than he should and couldn’t be vexed to stop right now.

“You so fucking pretty, baby. I swear I be so happy when you’re around..”

doting on you constantly whilst working over your sweet spot. He could tell just how excited you had become, just by the way you writhed and squealed as well. In truth, you’d never been in a situation quite like this one. You look so salacious yet so innocent and it wasn’t something that was lost on Ony. In fact, he wanted to further exploit it..

“Open that mouth..” the command followed by you promptly obeying and him gliding those same digits that were just inside of you onto your tongue. It was such a cute sight..watching you suckle on his fingers with those brown doe eyes fixated on him. This was something that he could never grow tired of..reducing his pretty little best friend to his adorable slut! You’d whimper heavily around those digits, moaning and still rutting yourself against his exposed upper thigh. Meanwhile, he was pushing those digits in and out, even getting you to gag and drool a bit from the movements. “Fuck…there you go. Suck them fingers, baby. Taste that pretty pussy f’r me. Yeah, you know your shit good. Fine ass..” which prompted you to giggle. It wasn’t a compliment you received often and honestly, you never doubted that you were beautiful but it was something about him affirming you that made your heart flutter. Suddenly, his low drawl ascended a half a pitch higher when you’d snake your smaller hand into his shorts. You’d continue to be pacified on his fingers whilst jerking him off. You were inconsolable and when you noticed that very visible tent in his bottoms, you had to move.

“Oh my gosh—shit…keep playing wit’ it, just like that…stroke that fucking dick..” growling as he forced his digits a little more down your throat; depressing your tongue along the way and causing you to keep emitting drool. Which served as the perfect lubricant to his already leaking cock. “Mmmm…Ony. Need you to fuck me..” “..you want this dick, baby?” Neither of you could take much more of this teasing and when he’d utter the fateful question, asking if you wanted to go further, you didn’t even hesitate. Despite never being intimate with a man prior. Your only partners were women or your lovely assortment of toys that you’d stashed away in your dresser. Honestly, with your arsenal..you saw little to no need to even entertain these dudes. Any feeling or sensation they could bring forth, your Rose Toy and Bad Dragon could replicate times ten! However, it was something about Ony and the way he made you feel. Not just in an erotic sense, but an emotional one as well. You felt so safe and comfortable in his presence, that it only felt natural to submit. He brought forth your feminine energy and allowed you to thrive in it.

“Here, lay down f’r me, mama. Just like that..and keep them legs spread.”

upon giving you instructions, he’d long since removed you from his lap and allowed you lie flat against the mattress; just awaiting his next move. Your tits were still sitting up, spilled out of the tube top, shuffled around your belly..and those sheer fishnets were as good as torn. It was such a sexy view, that Ony didn’t even want to undress you. However, he stripped all of his clothing down and immediately joined you back on the bed. He’d hover above you with his shaft in hand, stroking slowly. The expression on your face told it all…and he couldn’t help but to laugh. “What’s wrong, baby? You look nervous.” To which all you could do was swallow the lump in your throat. Granted, you didn’t know what an actual human’s length was supposed to look like but from the girth of his and how nearly reached the end of his thigh, nervous was an understatement. What if you couldn’t handle it? What if you embarrassed yourself?!..

“Well don’t be..you know imma take my time witchu’..I been waiting on this a long time.” Whispering to you as he leaned down and met your gaze with warm eyes and gentle smile. Brushing your cheek with that cock still in his opposite palm, he’d place small kisses atop your forehead and eventually your lips. “You just tell me what I need to do..this is yours now. I wanna make you feel good..” but it was a given, blatantly obvious even at this point. You needed every last part and inch of him..with your reassurance, he asked once more if it were okay to keep going and you’d grant him permission with a palm of your own to the side of his face..whispering to him to put it inside of you. Cooing with sweet nothings and whiny breaths, (y/n) begged Ony to fulfill your wish and it wasn’t long before your eyes went wide and your face went flush..

“Oh God—“ “Fuck…”

in that moment, the sounds of squelching flesh, along with breathy gasps emitted into the room. The two of you clashed and joined as one, right there on the crisp sheets of that king bed. The first few inches of his cock embedded deep between your warm, massaging walls and it was a sensation that could only be described as euphoric. Your legs instinctively coiled his waist, your hands to the sides of his head and his arms on either side of your body. Lying there, awaiting his next move. But alas, he had to regain his composure. Out of fear of sounding a bit too egregious, he’d keep his thoughts to himself but you were most certainly the best pussy he’d ever felt and he hadn’t even made his first thrust! Even so, Ony released a deep grunt and focused his attention back to your pretty face. “You good, baby?..Can I start moving?” This question required a bit more consideration, as you need time to adjust. That initial feeling brought forth a pleasurable yet slightly painful feeling..you didn’t make it a point to disclose to him that you were technically a ‘virgin’..but seeing as how it wasn’t the very first time you’d felt penetration, you didn’t feel it important. Besides, at that very moment. None of the proverbial details really made a difference. All that mattered was that the two of you were comfortably, willing and all ready to take this next step. And after a moment of quick breaths and whimpers, you’d instruct him to keep moving. In which he’d make one full thrust in and out..

“Agghhh…fuck..there we go, baby. In and out..” eventually, you’d fall into a rhythm of kisses that mimicked his thrusts..each one slower than the last but full nonetheless. This was so you could get acclimated with the shape and size of his member. It was a bit much and by the expression on your face, Ony knew he couldn’t start out drilling your shit!..as badly as he wanted to..

“Yeah..you takin’ my dick so good, baby..you feel so warm..” doting on you whilst your tongues swished around one another’s mouths. Sloppy, wet and steamy; an ideal combination. Coupled with that of the slow, deep thrusts in and out of your tight cunt. One thing that you loved about him was that he wasn’t afraid to be vocal. He didn’t shy from the fact that he was feeling good and wanted everyone to know. “Mmmm…Onyyyy…” “I know, mama. I know..” it went without saying, you were certainly enjoying this and he’d do everything he could to make the situation the best he could. Keeping you reigned in close to his chest, Ony persisted with his thrusts, trying to slowly get you to conform to his shape and so far, it was working.

“There you go, baby. Open that shit up..lemme have it.” Soon, the sounds of thumping and smacking began to fill the atmosphere and you’d feel those strokes become a little faster. It was then that you’d feel the swollen tip of that girthy cock not only stretching you out but precisely hitting your spot as well. Once he knew this was your sought after core, he’d hone in on it and pound away with precise thrusts; even rolling his hips and reaching a hand down to massage your clit. You’d have a moment where you’d falter and that, along with those beautiful eyes rolled back. “Fuck!..f-fuck..yes!” However, he thrived off the satisfaction of seeing your expressions and how they shifted, the deeper he got.

“Unt uh..eyes up here. Lemme see that pretty face while I fuck you..gimme that pussy, baby. Yes..”

You found his commands so sexy and soothing. His voice was soft yet stern and you felt comforted by his tone. It was no wonder that you’d become nearly entranced by him. The smacking sounds only grew louder and that was thanks to the fact that you were a dripping puddle between your thighs. Pearly white secretions leaking everywhere, even coating his shaft entirely and making quite the mess. In one fell swoop, Ony shifted from cradling you to his own body, to pinning your legs to the mattress and spreading you wide open. From this angle, he’d have an ideal view of those voluptuous tits bouncing each time he thrusted. Or just how that plump cunt looked swallowing his cock.

“Oooh..you creaming all over my dick, baby…shit’s so fucking sexy. You like the way this shit feels?” “Y-yes, daddy. Thank you, thank you!—“ declaring so with his thumb pad rolling on your clit and a long trail of saliva coating your lips. He didn’t relent, even when you’d squeeze down on him. It was every bit of eight inches and you’d nearly taken all of it at this point..you couldn’t believe it. “I just knew your shit was good..knew this pussy was the best just by looking at you.”

which made the both of you break into a slight giggle. But you certainly had help getting to this point. This was a newfound sensation and your body was reacting accordingly.

“You bring it out of me..fucking me like this—“ the incoherent babble was followed by something that would only further prove his point. When he’d keep gliding back and forth, speeding up his movements..that’s when it happened…

“Oh shit!—“ “AHH!! FUCK!…” as you’d whimper and cry out, even pawing at his abs as those streams of juices began to spill out and hit not only the linen underneath but his torso as well. Marking his decadent skin with splashes of your liquid. He’d never seen and you’d never experienced anything like it!

“..look at you squirting on that dick, baby...” although you were beginning to feel depleted, your body craved more of him. You wanted to keep going until either of you could move another inch. A wish that would soon come to fruition when you felt Ony’s thrusts become a bit more sporadic and off rhythm. He’d begin to falter, falling prey to your sex. Admittedly, it’d been ages since he’d had sex or a proper orgasm to boot but you were on a whole other playing field! The plush of those thighs, the ripple of that pudgy tummy and big tits, not to mention, the warmth of your wet hole…it was simply too much for him to fathom!

“Onyyyy!..” the louder you cried out, clawing into his skin; albeit his back or his abdomen, the more motivated he became to give you the most pleasure he could possibly help you attain. Even so, he’d make certain of your well-being all throughout. Asking if you were okay to keep moving..not doing so without explicit instructions and checking constantly to see if your expressions matched your sounds. He only wanted tears brought forth from joy and ecstasy, not pain. But the smile plastered on your face was pretty indicative of how good you felt! “Haaa..yeah, baby. I’m right here—tell me what you need…”

clinging to the last semblance of dominance he could muster, Ony slowed his pace down back to the original and held you close once more. He needed it..not just your body, but you in your entirety. He needed to hear you say that he was the one that you desired…that he could officially be your special person and never let you go for as long as he lived. It was all he had wanted, since the day he first cast eyes on you. When he first saw you in those shirts and sweats with his favorite series on it and when he first saw you in those cosplays. It was a moment that he not only wanted to remember but keep reliving. He wanted what the two of you had to last for an eternity…“..I love you....” the words sending your heart fluttering like butterflies in a garden. It was all you had been waiting to hear come from his mouth. Ony thought he’d never truly be able to utter the phrase and it has substantial weight behind it but now, he’d found his one and only who made the words come to life.

“I love you too, Ony…” so with a gentle stroke of your fingers to the side of his face, right there in that hotel room…the two of you consummated what had long since been established. The feelings of adoration for one another that could not be contained. It wasn’t long before either of you would reach your peak and before long, he was heaving and holding onto you with the last remnants of his strength.

“..come. Come for me, Ony…come in me..”

With that, you’d answer his earlier question and he’d have no problem fulfilling your request! He’d spotted you taking your birth control pills once you returned from dinner so any qualms he had dissipated. “I’m coming!…imma nut—“ veins bulge from his forehead and hands as he continues rutting into you. Ony’s fingertips grasped the headboard behind you and would serve as his balance as every ounce of his warm seed began to trickle into your inviting womb..you’d both reach that climatic peak together and following your stream of sexual secretions, was a trail of joyous tears shrouding your faces. Heavy gasps and breathless whimpers escaped your throats before you collapsed into one another’s arms. Once you were both back in the realm of reality, lying underneath him, (y/n) didn’t waste another moment before pulling him into a searing, passionate kiss. One that neither of you wanted to break.

but alas, your gazes would meet and you’d break into a fit of light chuckles.

“How you feel? You good?”

“Oh I’m just fine…are you good?”

poking fun at one another’s reactions in that final moment of ecstasy. But you were both feeling quite well after that. And you wanted nothing more than to keep reveling in it but tomorrow the big day awaited and you both needed rest…

“I’m straight…I mean, shit…you put it on me for real..where you learn to do them lil’ tricks at?” Referring to your earlier display of waterworks but you’d have to tease him once. “A lady never reveals her secrets..” you’d tease back, pursing a finger to his lips before he’d slowly began to pull out, dragging a string of pearlescent cum along with him and splattering a bit on your tummy on the way out. “Besides, I gotta finish your outfit before I fall asleep—“ “Unt uh…you ain’t getting up until you drink sum’ and wipe off. I can get you some snacks from downstairs too.” That’s when he’d roll over and crawl out of the bed, going over to the bathroom to retrieve a warm washcloth and some water from the mini fridge adjacent to the foot of the mattress. He wasn’t going to let you up until he made certain you could handle it. That was Ony’s overprotective nature for you. But it came from nothing but the purest intentions.

“That is not necessary. I’ll be fine.” “Yeah, but you my girl…and imma always take care of you. So hush.” Kissing your forehead ever so gently before sitting at your side and running that rag over your skin. It felt quite nice and you were glad he made you rest for a moment because your body had been through a foreign experience and he made every single second of it magical…you knew that you wanted to create more memories like this with him for as long as possible. Albeit a convention, a date or even kicking it at his place as you watched him play video games. You just wanted to remain in his presence and remain his girl forever.

“Aye, you gone let me sleep in the wet spot?..I wanna stay cool tonight.”

“..Ony, get away from me, please.”

even if he did work the last good nerve you had sometimes!

[missmarveledsblog]

It's fate part two ( Bradley bradshaw x reader)

summary : bradley can't stay away and well jake soon finds out leading to a blow up game of dogfight football

warning: none its still goofy fun well one fight but other than that it's fluff

previous part

Never had he been sure of anything then fact was he sitting across from his future wife. From the way she laughed to smile , how she animatedly told him of the different kids in her class and how each was a character in their own right . he imagine would she talk like that about their kid albeit he was getting a little ahead  since he hadn’t even asked her on the first date nor did her brother his fellow aviator and well close friend he was even talking to her in the first place .  yet in that moment i wasn’t on his mind , jake wasn’t on his mind as he sat in the cafe on what was the third time he was meeting with the woman he couldn’t get out of his head. 

“ i’ve not let you get a word in have i ?” she chuckled looking up as she took a bite of her brownie . 

“ seriously talk away it amazing to hear about little katie and her overcoming the sandpit but i do wanna know if little zack got his dog cat yet?” he smiled almost dreamily as she laughed  the way her head fell back and the way the sound literally warmed his insides better then any coffee he’s drank so far taking full advantage of his weekend off  not caring to go to the beach  or beat jake in dog tag football like he usually is no bradley is content with sitting in a cafe listening about kids he never even saw . so lost in her not even the buzzing on his own phone snapped this spell she had on him till her own went off . 

“ sorry let me take this” she smiled before bringing it up to her ear. “ hey idiot … yeah i can come and bradley can bring me  .. what he’s here with me know  yeah jake we will be there soon” she rolled her eyes before hanging up . “ my dumb brother wants us to meet him at the beach something about some game” she shrugged as bradley came crashing back to earth. 

“ yeah sure  lets go i’ll follow you” he smiled as took got ready to leave watching as she walked out. “ well i guess i’ll see my parent quicker than i thought i would “ he sighed  leaving a tip on table  before slowly heading to what was going to be his doom . 

From the look on jake seresins face when they arrive on the beach well doom was the right and accurate world to describe the following . 

“ I’ll sit with little seresin ..hey i’m natasha you can call me nat”  phoenix smiled really not wanting to be caught in the crossfire of what was about to come as Mav called the two captains to only be jake and bradley . 

“ i told you she’s off limits chicken “ jake glared getting in position . 

“ i told you it’s fate bagman “ rooster almost copied as the two glared it didn’t matter who was on side no this was between them two and them alone in this game .  the moment javy passed the ball throwing it to bob who ultimately tried to throw it back to jake only for fanboy to intercept and throw it to payback then in turn threw it too rooster .  well with who he was determined to impress stood on side lines rooster ran playing probably the best he had since he ever came across the game . 

“ 1 point to roosters team “ Mav called as y/n cheered making her brother pissed off . 

 Throughout the game both men done whatever in their power knocking each other over diving and dotting  til the scores where tied both panting and glaring at each other as their teammates honestly was happy to call it a tie . 

“ is it usually this … violent” y/n asked nat worried for both men . 

“ well there a more push rate here” nat winced instantly catching her on to what it  was . 

Once she watched as the two began head to head like to bulls charging til it was no longer just pushing and well fist started fly sending the men over pull them apart both men yelling at mav with bruise cheeks and egos and she walked closer. 

“ he’s dating my sister” 

“ it’s not a date …yet she’s an adult asshat” .

“ a girl really grow hell up both of you” mav rolled his eyes as the two began shouting back and forth . 

“ sorry sir may i try  “ she smiled sweetly up all doe eyes and sugarly sweet . 

“ i’m willing to try anything kid knock yourself out “ now what mav didn’t expect was the loud whistle  that shut the boys up or the fast she grab both of the men by the ear . 

“ now y’all gonna talk like adults or am going to show you how we treat misbehaving children  “ she looked between the two sternly as they instantly shut up . 

“ you can’t date rooster , one he’s old as hell and two he’s my friend” jake huffed. 

“ jakey buddy you have slept with  i could easily name five of my friends and another five co workers   another think if i wanna sleep with or date someone i will choose myself i am adult seem more of an adult then you” she crouched. 

“ i said that , i’m not old as hell ” rooster spoke up . 

“ and you well goading my brother and hitting him ain’t gonna happen again because idiot or not i kinda love him is that clear “ she  stood as he gulped and nodded. “ now  shake hands and grow up because i will give that man my number and jake can tell you how my mama kept his ass in straight line” she stomped over to Mav. 

“ sorry chicken “ jake grumbled. 

“ sorry bagman” . 

“ like you mean it jesus “ she rolled her eyes . 

“ sorry bradley .. shit maybe if she dates you  be less well that” .

“ sorry jake … dude i might marry you sister today” . 

“ you can take me on a date first bradley brooster radley “ she chuckled gathering her things. 

“ have you ever thought of joining the navy?” Mav asked shocked at the scene before him . 

“Oh and bradley pick me up at 7 “ was all she said before she headed up the beach . 

“ yessss ma’am… my wife is so pretty” he sighed happily . 

“ you aint married her yet” jake chuckled 

“ i’m gonna i’m telling you its’ ….” 

“ Fate “ the all groaned . 

Now as first date would be, he was never a ball of emotions as he was now almost pacing a hole in jake seresins floor as he waiting for her to get ready . 

“ really man i’ll lose my deposit you keep that up “ the blonde huffed eyes on the game that played on his television . 

“ sorry my nerves are gonna dent your income man i’m freaking out and all while in the chicks living room in front of you “. 

“ man where was confidence from earlier look for some weird reason she really likes you so i’m pretty sure even you couldn’t screw this up “

“ yeah thanks for the shiner really what my outfit needed “ he grumbled . 

“  you ready” she called and god she almost knocked him on his ass as he took in the sight of her man she could wear a potato sack and still look like a queen . the white sun dress hit her thighs or the red lips that paired well with her nails like something straight out of his fantasy . 

“ yeah .. yup ..yes.. Lets go “ he sighed ignoring the weird look jake was giving him or the way she was hiding her amusement . 

“ home by midnight” jake called . 

“ i’ll be home whenever i want to” she called back as door shut .

“ jesus he really is gonna be my brother in law” the blonde groaned .

part three

[boobabietch]

Chapter II: "A Rookie’s Obsession, A Legend’s Indifference: Is Diana Taurasi ready for Victoria O’Hara?” | Diana Taurasi x OC

Warnings: fight fight fight!! And a tad bit narcissistic Diana

A/N: I’m having a shitload of fun writing this lmao, so here’s another chapter I hope you like. As always English is not my first language so if you find something wrong tell me so I can change it asap, I can’t wait for y’all to read this and the next chapters I’m so excited. Likes, comments (!!!) and reblogs are highly appreciated and my ask box is always open. Love Sof :))

Making headlines masterlist

There’s a funny thing about being the best in women’s sports. People either love you or wait for you to fall. But when you’ve been around long enough, it doesn’t matter what they think. You know your place. And you protect it.

That’s what I’ve been doing since my debut in the WNBA. Owning the court. Owning the pressure. Every game, every season, everyone expects the same thing from me: perfection. Winning is never enough because when your name is Diana Taurasi, nothing is ever enough.

Then, she showed up.

Victoria O’Hara. The rookie everyone wouldn’t shut up about. Reminded me of me, hungry, talented, a little too much attitude for her own good. The first time I saw her was just before our game against San Antonio. I’d heard her name, knew she had something. But there’s a difference between hype and reality.

May 19, 2017

Game day. I could feel her eyes on me during warm-ups, it was cute honestly, I could see the gears working hard on her mind, probably wondering what it’s like to be me, to dominate the way I have. They all wonder. But what she didn’t know yet is that being good in college doesn’t mean shit here. Welcome to the W, kid.

I didn’t give her a second glance. What was there to say? Another rookie trying to prove something. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been that girl. But this one, this woman, had something extra in her. I could see it the minute the game started. Every time she took a shot, it was like she was aiming at me, if I didn’t know she wanted to rip my throat out I’d say she was in love. Every drive, every step, was a challenge.

I could hear the yelling in the crowd, I’d hear her teammates tell her to relax, feel the energy shift. People loved watching us, golden veteran vs. golden rookie. A fucking classic. O’Hara wanted to make a statement. I could tell she was on the edge, burning herself out just to prove she belonged. And every time, I’d remind her, I’ve been there. I’ve fought harder battles. If she wanted to be the next big thing, she was going to have to earn it. She was good, but I wasn’t worried. I’ve dealt with players like her before. They rise fast, burn out faster. But this one... she kept pushing.

Every game we played after that, it was like she had a personal vendetta. I couldn’t walk on the court without feeling her eyes drilling into me. She was obsessed. It was funny, really. This kid was trying so hard to beat me, to make me see her.

I saw her. I always see them coming.

July 7, 2017

We were in San Antonio. Close game. O’Hara played her heart out, I’ll give her that. But we still won. After the game, I found her slumped on the bench, wiped out. I should’ve just left her there. But something in me couldn’t resist. The kid had fire. I respected that.

“Not bad, O’Hara. Keep it up, and you might actually be a challenge someday.”

Her face said it all. She was rattled, but she had that spark. I liked seeing it. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was serious. I was. Kinda. Then, she shot back:

“Someday? I’m already a problem for you.”

I almost laughed. Her confidence was impressive, misplaced, but impressive. I glanced down, smirked. Let her have that moment.

“Of course you are,” I said, walking off.

Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I never said that, lucky for everyone I did.

July 30, 2017

Maybe I overestimated how in control I am of everything; the game, the rookie, and my body.

We were playing again, tensions running high. It was bound to happen. O’Hara wanted her moment, wanted to prove herself. And me? I wasn’t giving her an inch. Then, somewhere in the third quarter, it happened.

I saw her coming, her eyes locked on me with a mix of defiance and determination. She made a quick drive, cutting to the basket with an intensity that almost made me respect her. But I wasn’t about to let a rookie get one over on me. I slammed into her, blocking her path with enough force to knock her off balance. She hit the floor hard, her elbows scraping against the court. The whistle blew, and for a moment, I watched her lay there, her frustration almost palpable.

“Get up,” I muttered, standing over her. “You’re gonna need more than that to take me down, rook”

I saw the anger in her eyes as she pushed herself up, pressing her chest on mine. Damn, was she this tall the whole time? The way she glared at me, it was almost as if she was daring me to push her further. “You think you’re untouchable? Just fucking wait.”

My smirk didn’t waver. I’d seen that fire in rookies before, puffed up, ready to prove themselves. “I don’t think, O’Hara. I know.” I said with the most arrogant tone I owned.

“Oh you’re just a fucking bitch, aren’t you?” Before I could react further, she shoved me hard. Everyone erupted into chaos. I felt the rush of adrenaline as I moved to shove her back, but the moment I lunged, my teammates were already there, hands gripping my arms and holding me back.

O’Hara wasn’t any better off. Many of her teammates were swarming around her, trying to pull her away from me. I could see the frustration in her eyes as she struggled against their hold, her fists clenched and ready to throw.

Fun fact about fights: when you need the strength of 4 pro basketball players to hold you back, it makes you look really fucking dangerous.

We both tried to break through the human barriers restraining us. I could almost feel the impact of our fists connecting, the unfinished fight burning in my veins. But with every struggle, every strained push against the hands holding us back, the reality set in: we were not going to get to finish this here.

I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the cameras, the refs, or the impending technical. All I cared about was feeling that fire she was throwing at me. I wanted her to know what it felt like to face me, to try and break through the wall I’d built around myself.

Eventually, the refs managed to get us both under control, leading us to opposite sides of the court. As I was pulled away, I couldn’t help but glance back at O’Hara, her eyes still blazing with that same fire. Despite the chaos, a small part of me felt a twisted respect for her, a rookie who was not just willing to challenge me, but was ready to throw down if necessary.

The arena buzzed with excitement and disbelief as we were separated, but the fight between us was far from over.

That was the moment I knew this kid wasn’t going anywhere. And maybe, just maybe, I’d finally met someone who could keep up.

Little did I know.

Fucking Victoria.

"Rivalry Ignites: O’Hara and Taurasi Get into Fiery Altercation During Friday Game"

"San Antonio Stars Victoria O’Hara Adidas Grey and Black Edition Player Jersey | SOLD OUT"

Requests are Open!

Masterlist

[wordy-little-witch]

CoS Incorrect Quotes hours the brain rot is rotting the brain lmaoooooooo

P.S. While spoilers are limited, I also Refuse The Ending and so 95% of stuff is in my own little made up parallel reality bc ShepNax Sparks Joy

Kana: What's the most illegal thing you can do with one gold?

Shepherd, running on VERY little sleep: Exchange it for a hundred coppers, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Professor Clayton: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting.

Sarnax: I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I have done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold.

Victoria: I think this message is extremely valid, but also Sarnax has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth?

Sarnax: I want to set it off.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Victoria: Let’s not Professor this into a worse situation than it already is.

Clayton: Did you just use my name as a verb?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd, completely deadpan: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Professor: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Professor: And I started thinking.

Professor: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Professor: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Victoria: Are you ok?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Victoria: We need a way to lure in Vistani assistance

Kana: Perhaps we could arrange an entertainment event.

Sarnax: We could give them Shepherd's bath water.

Shepherd: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Kana, to Shepherd: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable.

Shepherd: …

Kana: You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Kana: Sarnax is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Shepherd.

Sarnax: I feel like Shepherd is the more responsible one of us two though.

Shepherd: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Sarnax: that is a fair assessment

Shepherd: Just two bastards in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Professor: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sarnax, to Victoria: you are harboring a deep wickedness....

Shepherd: whooooa, buddy, I didn't expect this from you!

Kana: yes, Sarnax, I had not expected you to be homophobic.

Sarnax: wh- no? I am not homophobic!

Professor: sounds like something a homophobe would say - especially after such a blatant call on her rights to love who she wishes!

Sarnax: ...... I do not care if you enjoy kissing women, love is love, but I draw the line at Strandanya

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Victoria: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Kana: Wasn’t the Professor with you?

Professor: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it. There might be dragons.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: If I say yes am I joining a cult?

Sarnax: From a certain point of view.

Shepherd: I’m in.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Victoria: Hey, aren’t you Professor Clayton?

Professor: You a cop?

Victoria: No.

Professor: Then yes, I am.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sarnax: Honestly, I am so ominous and off-putting. So full of dark, cultish knowledge. I feed on the souls of the enemies I strike fear into -

Kana: You cuddle with a lantern nightlight to sleep.

Sarnax: Gherix is a protective and warm God, you're just jealous.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Victoria: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Sarnax. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Sarnax!

Shepherd: Nope.

Victoria: In that case, as the archbishop of Shepherd's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Sarnax right on the scaley lips!!!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Victoria: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Professor: Literally or figuratively?

Victoria: I have to specify?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: alright, anything you'd like to add, Sarnax?

Sarnax: there are several things I would like to add-

Shepherd: -anything not involving Gherix?

Sarnax: in that case, no.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Sarnax: Do not do that, Shepherd. How would you feel if I banged you on the table?

Shepherd: I—

Shepherd: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Professor: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.

Shepherd+Victoria: :)

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Professor: Who hurt you?

Shepherd: *snorting* What, do you want a list?

Professor: ...Yes, actually.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Professor: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Professor: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Sarnax: Uh... what is the professor doing?

Kana: He us attempting to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Professor: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Victoria, crying: It's working.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Kana: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Victoria, blushing: Okay.

Professor: It's fucking summer.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd, trying to comfort Victoria: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Victoria: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: Do you support gay rights?

Victoria: I’m literally gay.

Kana: She's avoiding the question!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than waterin' my vegetable garden and tendin' the herds.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Arabelle: so I saw a bunch of older kids running around and being weird, will I be like that when I get bigger? Is that what puberty is?? Puberty is weird if that's what it's like.

Shepherd: puberty is really weird, kid, take it from me - i did that shit twice.

Clayton, choking on his tea: OHMYGOD-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Tommy, upon learning his dad Shepherd is trans: oh. Can I ask a question?

Shep: yeah buddy, what is it?

Tommy: so if you're a man but had to make yourself comfy like this, then can I get horns like you? The same way?

Shep, mildly emotional: ah, not quite like that. But we can certainly make you a headband, bud.

Tommy: YAY

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

BONUS

The Doc: I've only had Silas for a day and a half but if any of you fuckers come for him, I'll burn this whole gods damned continent to the ground.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: *trying to buy a Father's Day card*

Shepherd: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad"

Associate: Well, I-

Shepherd: How about "You're stuck with me"

Associate: No...

Shepherd: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.

Shepherd: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card. XOXO no refunds...

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Doc: Yes, I'm adopting Shepherd and you cowards can't tell me no!

The townsfolk: Doc, you can't-

Doc: WATCH ME

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Shepherd: whatever doesn't kill me vetterstart running, because now I'm fuckin' pissed

Doc, who taught him everything he knows: THAT'S MY BOY

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Baby Shep: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Doc: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Baby Shep: You don’t have to wear-

Doc: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

[arc-misadventures]

For the Vtuber Au (if that's gonna be the name of it for not)

...has our dear Errantry Paladin ever played Dark Souls/Soulsborne/equivalent genre of games, if so how much rage has Jaune ever expressed in any form, if at all

Bonus question if you'd like to answer:

What his cute Vtuber model look like?

No, that’s gonna be the name of this, AU.

The VTuber: Of Bugs, and Rage

Errant: Hello everyone~! And, Welcome to the stream!

The Errantry Paladin started his stream with a smile across his avatars lips. People often marvelled at how expressive his avatar could be, only adding to help humanize the digital creation in their eyes.

~~~ Steam Chat ~~~

: Whoo! It’s beginning!

: It’s starting!

: What are you playing today?

: Hi everyone!

: There’s that winning smile that we all know, and love!

: How are you this day my liege?

:🥳🥳🥳

: He’s as handsome as ever!

: Sire my babies!

: Any thoughts on growing a beard yet?

~~~~~~

All as perusal for one of, Errant’s streams.

Errant: So I was asked… a lot. Honestly it more like begging, and pleading with me really to play a, Souls game. Like, Dark Souls, and the like.

~~~ Stream Chat ~~~

: We didn’t beg you.

: Suggested.

: Encouraged you.

: Certainly didn’t beg

:❤️I beg for you babies!❤️

: I beg for cake!

~~~~~~

Errant: Well, at least some of you are honest… or, claim to be…

Errant shot his chat a skeptical look before address the screen, and what game he was going to play today.

~~~ Stream Chat ~~~

: Aww he looks like an upset puppy!

: Who’s a good boy!

: Who wants the ball?

~~~~~~

Errant: Stop that! Ahem… So, in honour of your request, today we will be playing, ‘Hollow Knight!’ Now this is a game I’ve been looking forward to playing for a while now, I just haven’t had the time to do so. I stumbled across someone saying how great the soundtrack is, gave it a listen to myself, and fell in love with it, so I wanted to give it a go. And, since you asked me to play a, Souls game, and this game has been described as the, ‘Dark Souls of Metroidvania.’ And, since I’ve never played a Souls game, a Metroid game, or a Castlevania game before either. Well, three birds on stone.

~~~ Stream Chat ~~~

: Oh Hollow Knight hell yeah!

: It’s not Dark Souls but he will rage.

: This game is brutal.

: This game makes me sad.

: The music is damn good!

: Hed probably just curb stomp everything in a Souls game honestly.

: Id like to see that!

~~~~~~

Errant cheekily shrugged his shoulders as he gave a coy smirk as he explained his reasonings. Many in the chat we disappointed that he wasn’t playing a, Souls game, but what many truly wanted was to see their calm, and collected, Paladin rage. For the rage unleashed by the calm, and collected was a true sight to behold, and they were all looking forward to see it for themselves.

Errant: Enough stalling lets start it up. Lets see… Eh? Classic, Steel Soul, and Godseeker? Must be their names for the level difficulty. No wait… Classic: Normal Play mode. Steel Soul: No reviving. Death is permanent?! Is there a one life mode in this game?!

~~~ Stream Chat ~~~

: Yep!

: You gotta beat the game first before you can play that mode though

: Good luck

~~~~~~

He looked at his chat, then to his game with a shock look in his eyes. People played on such a difficulty, and won?

He could help, but wonder what it was he was getting himself into.

Errant: And, the last one: Godseeker: Challenge the gods of Hallownest. Is that a boss battle royal type of thing?

He looked to his chat, and saw people typing ‘yes,’ or the equivalent of that throughout the chat feed.

Errant: Okay… How many bosses are in this game then?

~~~ Stream Chat ~~~

: A lot

: Too many

: You’re gonna love them!

: Mantis Lords are the best!

: Grimm King is evil!

: 😍Mantis Lords😍

: all hail Gorb!

: You’ll die at least once to each boss

: Most likely

~~~~~~

Errant: Oh… Well now I’m scared. No matter, lets delve into, Hollow Knight then shall we?

///

Do you guys think this is a good way to integrate the stream chat reply? I think it does, but…?

Well, I ask for your thoughts after all.

As for giving, Jaune a cute, VTuber model. How about something more…

Ruggedly handsome? Roguishly charming? Somethings like that, he needs a different air about him.

Don’t you think so too?

[judewrld]

right through me [kylian mbappe]

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: first time with your boyfriend kylian

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: boyfriend!kylian x f!reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: nsfw, 18+

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 2.5k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: slight swearing, dirty talk, soft sex, penetrative sex, vaginal sex, nipple play, fingering (f receiving), soft dom!kylian, sub!reader, unprotected sex, scratching, oral (f receiving)

⏤ 𝑎/n: soft sex with kyky, yes please.

there are possibly almost a hundred stalls at the ice cream fair. some sell gelato, some sell frozen yogurt, some sell soft serve ice cream. you and rebecca, phil foden’s girlfriend walk

through rows upon rows of pop-up stalls. you had met her last year at the man city vs psg champions league game. it was your first official appearance at kylian’s game as his girlfriend and you had met rebecca on your way out to the stands. while your boyfriends played on opposing teams, the two of you bonded and forged a friendship that has only grown over the years. 

you want to eat almost everything, but you know that it’s impossible. rebecca can tell that you are eager to eat everything, but she reminds you that the two of you should probably just buy a flavor from several stalls to share between you to get the maximum amount of ice cream and time to still shop. you quickly agree with her idea.

there are a lot of people despite it being a weekday, so you hold onto rebecca's coat, trailing her like a puppy. you stop by several stores to take a look at the ice cream flavors.

��so, how are you and kylian?”

you look up from the selection of ice cream to answer her question, “we’re getting on fine how are you and foden?”

she smiles, “things have been a little tense now with two tots and all but we’re making it work.”

you clap your hands together in excitement at the mention of her adorable children, “how are the little monsters?”

rebecca giggles, “they’re doing great. lovely kids really, just the biggest cockblocks i’ve ever met.”

you snort, “you and phil are the biggest nymphos i know. there’s no way you’re complaining about your sex life?”

“you don’t get it! we went from having sex anywhere at any time to having to tiptoe around our own home just to kiss!”

“you chose motherhood.”

“yes but that doesn’t mean i was ready to say goodbye to my voracious sex life.” the two of you giggle at her comment and continue your way down the stalls, “so what about you and kylian? has he put it down yet?”

you blush and play with the string of your hoodie. “um no, not yet.”

rebecca stops in her tracks and stares at you mouth wide open, “what? why not?”

you shrug, “i guess the right moment just hasn’t arrived yet.”

rebecca hums, “and what exactly counts as the perfect moment for you?”

“i’m not sure, but kylian knows i’m still a virgin so he doesn’t discuss sex much in fear he might be pressuring me.”

rebecca nods slowly, “well, do you feel any pressure to lose your virginity?”

you take a moment to think through her question, “honestly? i really love and trust kylian, i wouldn’t mind losing my virginity to him…i guess i just don’t know how to approach the topic?”

“i think you should just tell him you’re ready. no beating around the bush, the more transparent you are the better for the both of you.”

you sigh, “i’ll definitely try my best. it’s a bit of a sensitive topic.”

rebecca smirks, “i’m sure it’ll be worth it in the end.”

you surprisingly don't blush at that, too preoccupied by the ice cream to actually process her comment. for the rest of the time at the fair, you share between eight servings of ice cream.

you’re holding onto the last cup of ice cream following rebecca to her car, she ushers you into the vehicle and quickly enters the driver's seat to get out of the cold, she turns on the heater once she’s settled before driving off.

"where are we going now?" you ask, finally finishing up your ice cream.

"shopping of course!"

7:45pm

“how was your day out with becca, mon amour?”

you cuddle up into kylian’s side in your living room as you divulge details about your day to him. “it was fun! we went to the farmers market downtown before we did some shopping. how was practice?”

kylian reaches for the scotch bottle on the coffee table and pours himself a glass. you suck your teeth, “that bad?”

he hums and takes a sip of the scotch, “things are still tense between neymar and i. it’s throwing off the team dynamic completely.”

you pat his thigh in comfort, “the events that transpired between the two of you were pretty serious but i’m sure with time things will get better. this won’t be the end, he just needs time.”

“i’m not so sure things can be fixed this time.”  he replies simply before taking another sip of his scotch.

“i have faith in the relationship you have with neymar and you should too. he loves you like a brother he’s just hurt and that’s understandable.”

he turns his head to smile down at you, “maybe you’re right. i guess i just miss him.”

you smirk and flip your hair, “of course i’m right.”

kylian pinches your side, “when did your ego get so big?”

“i learned from the best.”

“was that a jab at me?” kylian asks, trying to hide his growing smile.

you shrug, “if the shoe fits.”

a hearty chuckle escapes your boyfriend lips and your heart swells at the sight of the bright smile occupying his face. your mind slowly drifts off to the conversation you had with rebecca, be direct and transparent.

“hey, kyky?”

he hums and polishes off the last of his scotch. “yes my love?”

you clear your throat and pull away from him for a bit. “i…i think i’m ready.”

kylian pauses. “oh- um, what brought this about?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while now but rebecca and i discussed it while we were out. i feel most comfortable when i’m with you,” you pause to look up at him to see how he’s taking in this information. “it’s almost as if you’re the only person who sees the real me and makes me feel appreciated. i can’t see myself trusting someone else with my body the way i trust you.”

kylian’s eyes rake your body, desire burning in his irises. he shifts his eyes to stare at your lips and begins to lean in. he takes his time, giving you the opportunity to pull away but you don’t. you want this.

he leans forward and allows his lips to graze yours, the faintest of touches. “are you sure you want to do this mon amour? we don’t have to.” kylian asks softly.

you shyly nod your head and lean in to close the gap but he pulls ways and shakes his head, “no love. i need to hear you say yes.”

“yes, i want to do this kylian.” you push forward allowing your lips to touch. he groans once your lips make contact. you’re unable to focus on anything other than the feeling of his lips on yours.

you can faintly taste the scotch he had just drunk on his tongue. he sucks harder on your lip and brings one hand down to your jeans and begins to undo the button and zipper before pulling them down leaving you in your underwear and hoodie.

he lets his eyes drink in the sight of you before leaning down to pick you up. you let out a yelp and grasp onto his biceps for protection, “w-what are you doing?” you sputter.

“i can’t make love to you properly on the couch, chérié.”

you blush at his words and bury your face into his chest, after a few strides kylian is opening the door to your shared bedroom and gingerly placing you on the bed.

he gets onto his knees and straddles your hips before reaching out to help you out of your pants and sweatshirt. you breathe in deeply savoring the way he feels pressed against you. the feeling of his warm fingers moving under the hem of your sweatshirt across your stomach. he lifts it off of your body and tosses it across the room.

“thank you for trusting me with your body.” kylian says before leaning back in and places his lips on yours yet again.

you moan into the kiss before he trails kisses down your jaw to your neck, his teeth brushing over your skin and making you shiver regardless of the heat being provided by kylian’s skin pushed up against yours. you close your eyes and relish the feeling.

with his lips still pressed against your neck, he whispers, “what do you want amour?”

your eyes flutter open as he slowly pulls away to look at you.

“i won’t do anything until you tell me what you want.” he reiterates before placing his lips back onto your neck, biting down making it harder for you to form a coherent sentence.

“i-i don’t know.” you say breathily but he chuckles in your ear, “yes you do amour, tell me what you want so i can make you feel good.” he says as he gently tugs at your underwear, you whine and raise your hips off the bed to allow him to take it off faster. he tisks, “i need to hear you say it.” you look up at him to meet his gaze, “i want you to touch me.”

his gaze hardens, “spread your legs chérié.” he orders.

he shifts his position and allows you to spread your legs before slotting himself in between them. he taps his fingers against your hips silently asking you to raise them. you shyly lift them to the best of your ability and let him pull them off of you, your arousal clinging to your underwear and clit.

once you’re completely naked, he brings his lips to your chest and roughly kisses your skin, his tongue probing at your nipple. you whimper when he bites your left nipple, the feeling overwhelming. he pulls back and looks at your bare body.

“fuck you’re so beautiful.” he mumbles before leaning down to toy with your pussy.

“you’re so wet too. did our kissing turn you on so much, love?” kylian asks, smirking down at you. your face heats up at his words but you don’t respond. while you are a virgin, you have engaged in other sexual acts with kylian, fellatio and cunnilingus  being the main two.

he looks back down at your pussy and shifts his position so he’s laying down in front of your pussy. he lets his pointer finger circle your clit for a little before running it along the slit of your folds. you let out a mewl at the feeling wanting more. “p-please ky..” You moan.

“patience amour.”

he dips one finger into you and you hiss at the feeling. it’s been a while since you’ve been touched down there by anyone and you’re extremely sensitive. “you’re so tight,” he says, pushing his finger deeper until the entire digit is buried snuggly inside you. you close your eyes and tug at the bedsheets, loving the feeling of him fingering you.

you’re a moaning mess by the time he manages to slide his whole finger into you. you clench around his fingers as he slides them in and out of your snatch and grasp onto your bedsheets. “does it feel nice to be stuffed with my fingers?” kylian asks.

you know your voice will fail you so you adamantly nod your head. kylian picks up the pace and your hips move to his strokes. kylian licks his lips when he feels your walls clenching tightly around his digits.

“i-i think i’m close.”

his fingers curl inside of you which causes your hips to jerk upwards. “are you cunning?” he asks cheekily.

you nod eagerly, “yes!” your eyes snap shut as you enjoy the feeling, “o-oh my god” you cry as you feel him kiss the inside of your thighs. he trails the kisses upwards until he’s face to face with your pussy and places a soft kiss on the nub before sucking on it, his tongue flicking around. he pulls his pointer and middle finger out so he can eat you out freely.

he licks the slit of your folds and firmly grips the flesh of your thighs most likely leaving marks.  arks that would remind you of this moment later on.

kylian picks up the pace, he’s going so fast that you let out a quiet scream. you fist and unfist your sheets as you rock your hips against his face and come.

your orgasm hits you so hard that tears fill your vision.

kylian allows you to ride out your high before coming up from your private parts and leans back down to place a chaste kiss on your lips.

“are you feeling alright love?” he asks as he strokes your hair. you’re heaving, trying to catch your breath.

“yes.”

“do you want to continue?”

you nod but then remember kylian wants verbal responses, “i do.”

kylian wastes no time in removing his shorts and boxers and gently moves up your body. you wrap your arms around his neck. “c-can you be gentle?” you sheepishly ask.

your question sends an immediate reaction to kylian’s dick, he swears he could have busted a nut right then and there. “of course chérie, i’ll be gentle.”

he tentatively strokes your folds with two fingers, eyes darting back up to yours to check your response. you hiss, still a bit sensitive. “is this okay? are you sensitive?”

“i’m fine,” you assure, “go ahead, i’m okay.”

he nods, gathering some of your wetness and smears it on his cock, a moan of relief leaving his swollen lips. “i’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be buried inside of you,” he says, angling himself better and positioning his cock near your entrance.

“please,” you whimper, biting back a cry once his length breaches your entrance. kylian lets out a guttural growl, slowly sinking into you and bottoming out letting you adjust to his length.

“you’re so beautiful.” kylian says , rolling his hips torturously slow. “you were made for me, amour. just for me.”

you open your eyes, taking a deep breath. “i’m ready, you can move now.”

kylian leans forward to place a kiss on your cheek, then on your jaw, and then on your neck. as kylian busies himself there he slowly begins to thrusts in and out of you.

your hands are all over him; clawing his back, gripping his biceps “amour,” he whispers, “you feel so good.”

The sound of your bodies slapping against each other plus your loud wanton moans and the creaking from the bed is all that can be heard reverberating around in the home. he thrusts two more times, his hips stuttering before he chokes out, “mm gonna cum.”

you scratch at his chest and bite your lip to suppress your moan, “m-me too.”

“you can cum amour,” kylian coos. he wraps his arms around you and hugs you closer to his body, the feeling of your chest pressed against him and his dick pounding into you is enough to send you over the edge.

“i’m cumming!” you mumble into his skin. kylian groans at the feeling of you cumming on his dick before his hips still and he comes inside you.

his lips are on your shoulders and neck, softly sucking on patches of your skin and murmuring sweet nothings as you calm down.

“i love you.”

[simply-ivanka]

"The only man who could have caught that ball just hit it." - Remembering Willie Howard Mays

“Mays is the only man in baseball I’d pay to see play.” — Ty Cobb

“Willie Mays is the greatest ballplayer I’ve ever seen. I never saw Joe DiMaggio play, but if Joe DiMaggio was better than Willie Mays, he belongs in Heaven.” — Roberto Clemente

“Outside of Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays is the greatest all-around baseball player of my time. Certainly, he’s been the most daring. Mays would steal home, a tough play and one in which you’ve got a great chance to look bad. Willie didn’t even think of that, he’d just go. Nine times out of ten, he’d make it.” — Mickey Mantle

“You used to think if the score was 5-0, [Mays] would hit a five-run homer.” — Reggie Jackson

“[Mays] scooped the ball up at the base of the 406-foot sign, whirled and fired. It came in on one bounce, directly in front of the plate, and into the glove of catcher Tom Haller, who put it on the astonished Willie Stargell. It was described by old-timers as the greatest throw ever made in ancient Forbes Field.” — Bob Stevens, San Francisco Chronicle, August 25, 1965

“I couldn’t believe Mays could throw that far. I figured there had to be a relay. Then I found out there wasn’t. He’s too good for this world.” — Willie Stargell

“They invented the All-Star Game for Willie Mays.” — Ted Williams

“Willie Mays, to me, was the best ballplayer I ever saw in my life. …Nobody in the history of baseball is going to see anyone like Willie Mays. Everybody loved Willie in the clubhouse. Willie used to do a lot of things for different players, especially the rookies. Willie used to take players to clothing stores to buy them clothes. Sometimes he would get free clothes, shoes, and stuff, and give them to the players. He was like the mother of the team.” - Juan Marichal

"Willie Mays was to me the greatest player I ever watched. People ask me that, and I don't hesitate....he could have been an All-Star shortstop, that's how good an athlete he was...he could run backwards as fast as he could forward." - Don Zimmer

"If somebody came up and hit .450, stole 100 bases, and performed a miracle in the field every day, I'd still look you right in the eye and tell you that Willie was better” - Leo Durocher

"The best Major League ballplayer I ever saw was Willie Mays. Ruth beat you with the bat. Ted Williams beat you with the bat. Joe DiMaggio beat you with the bat, his glove and his arm. But Willie Mays could beat you with the bat, with power, his glove, his arm and with the running. He could beat you any way that's possible." - Buck O'Neil

“Hopefully, they can say, ‘There goes the best baseball player in the world.’ I honestly believe I did everything in baseball that a baseball player can do, and I did it with love.” — Willie Mays

[feathered-serpents]

So. In both God of War games Atreus/Freya are coded to follow the player right? In any game with companions the companion is obviously basically glued to the player and in a lot of games (Dragon Age for example) the companions will interact with the environment as best they can, climb letters, jump over stuff, etc but if the player gets to far away they will just teleport to their location so you don’t lose a companion

In God of War this doesn’t happen. Atreus/Kratos always follow you by naturally interacting with the environment. If you climb they climb, if you jump they jump, they never teleport. That’s because God of War’s AI is so good there’s almost never a need to, they’re really good at not getting stuck or left behind

But

Sometimes. It still bugs out. and the results. Are incredibly funny

I’ve had this happen to me twice, once in the first game, once in the second game. Both only with Atreus, never lost Freya which tracks honestly

In the first game I lost Atreus in Ivaldi’s Workshop and if you don’t know what that is because you don’t play GOW but still read the posts I make about it (I love you) Ivaldi’s workshop is an ever changing labyrinth filled with saw-style booby traps consisting of death propellers or 20 foot saw blades or classic “just fucking squish’em” the ceiling falls down traps AS WELL AS thick ass fog that makes it so you can’t fucking see and also it’s POISONOUS so if you stand in it for too long you straight up die and I have lost my kid in it

And suddenly I went from playing God of War to playing a “Lost my kid in the mall” simulator except the mall is a death trap filled with toxic fumes and ever changing walls aka any suburban mall. I am walking down all these halls trying to find this dumbass and the only thing I have to go on is sometimes I can hear his voice distantly through the mist. Far away. He’ll just say something and I’ll walk in that direction and he won’t be there. It was hell. It literally sounds like Kratos’ hell. I never found him I had to reset the checkpoint

The second time I’ve already talked about but it was awhile ago and it’s still one of the funniest things that ever happened to me in a game so I’m talking about it again.

I was doing Surtr’s trials and was getting to the last six (?) trials at the very end. If you’ve done these, you know if you do all of them in one go rather than leaving and coming back you get REALLY methodical at it. Arena one, arena two, main arena. Arena one, arena two, main arena. Again and again and again

The thing is, at the start of each of these fights the arena gates slam shut. Which makes sense since it’s supposed to be an arena. Arenas have gates and they’re usually shut. Well. I managed to move from arena two to the main arena so quickly that Atreus didn’t have time to get out of the first arena and got locked in behind the gate

I didn’t even REALIZE he wasn’t there until I tried firing arrows and nothing happened. Finally I turned around and I couldn’t see him. Then I heard a tiny, distant “Watch out father!” And got cleaved in half by a draugr. I would’ve had to restart either way several enemies you NEED Atreus with you to beat and he was in JAIL

Just the image of Atreus on his toes, locked in another arena with his face pressed against the bars screaming at the top of his lungs “FATHER!! BEHIND YOU!! HE’S BEHIND YOU!!!!!” Is the funniest thing in the world

This absolutely actually happened in my mind. Atreus thinks both are funny now, Kratos does not

[reddbuster]

In all seriousness, what're your opinions on the three dlc/bonus cases from across the series (rise from the ashes, turnabout reclaimed, and turnabout time traveler).

Oh that’s a good question actually! Not exactly a brave or controversial opinion here but I really like rfta. I understand why some people feel like it drags on too long (and there are definitely some parts of the case that I feel could have been shortened or cut) especially if you’re just here for the story and aren’t all that into the mystery. But I really enjoyed it. The mystery is fun and compelling and the themes of corruption present in the entire series really come to head here in a satisfying way. I also love Edgeworth’s arc in this case because this is arguably him at one of his lowest points. like wow way to kick a man when he’s already down. He definitely needed it though. Also my beautiful wife Lana is there and she sucks so bad it’s awesome I love her. When I first played the case I wasn’t huge on Ema for the first bit because quite frankly I missed Maya and I wanted her back. And of course there is no replacing Maya my favorite my best friend but honestly Ema grew on me really really fast. She distinguished herself from Maya enough to be her own character worth caring about but she also provided that much-needed pep to an otherwise dreary case. Also the way they build tension in that case…..chef’s kiss. One of my favorite cases probably in the entire series. Turnabout reclaimed is..decent. It’s a fun silly ace attorney case and generally a good time! It just…isn’t much more than that to me. There were also a few things in it that felt kind of iffy to me, like the way the game clearly expects you to look at Norma DePlume as unattractive and thus relies on this assumption for some of it’s humour beats. Period typical fatphobia I guess (The period in question being now). I also felt like the treatment of rap music in this case was a little mean-spirited but idk maybe I’m just sensitive. Overall though it was a pretty fun DLC case, I really like that we get to see Athena and Phoenix in action as investigative partners, I think they have a really fun dynamic! Also of course I love that they brought back Pearls for this case. my darling my angel my daughter who I raised myself et cetera I will never say no to a Pearl cameo even when it feels a little ham-fisted.

Turnabout Time Traveler is a tricky one because I am only just replaying it now and the last time I played it all the way through was a very long time ago but I will try my best to give my thoughts on it nonetheless. I am a not-so-closeted romantic so even if it sucked absolute balls and had no other redeeming qualities, I feel like I still would have gotten some enjoyment out of it. However I am also a not-so-closeted PW Trilogy fanatic so the whole premise of this case is right up my alley. I won’t lie and say I think this case is completely fantastic. The mystery is pretty easy to figure out overall and most people figure out who the killer is not long into the case. The nostalgia trip, while appreciated in some ways, also comes off as slightly forced in some moments to me. I feel like the way some of the returning characters are written (Larry, Edgeworth, even Maya to an extent) feels like it’s flattening the depth of them a little bit? I feel like that with a lot of moments in the Yamazaki games but I definitely find it more grating here than I ever did in investigations. And quite frankly I found some of the high-tech gadgetry shit a little too goofy even for ace attorney. I’ve always felt that aa is at its best when it balances the absurd soap opera bullshit (affectionate) with a believable setting and grounded character-based storytelling. And one of my biggest gripes with aa5 and 6 specifically is that for me they often failed to strike that balance. On the other hand, I do think turnabout time traveler is overall a really good time. The case, if not mindblowing, is entertaining, the characters are compelling to me, and I think the steampunk aesthetic of it all is a fun & fresh direction for a case to take, even if I rolled my eyes at some of the wannabe detective-gadget crap. And even if I have complaints about some of the characterization it IS really nice to have Phoenix, Maya, Edgeworth, Larry and Ema all together on one case. I am not immune to the We Put Your Faves In One Room and Made Them Solve a Mystery Together.

[bloodbending]

spoilers for bg3 act 2. not a big story spoiler but a great character interaction i had (i know this game has been out for a while but just in case lmao)

i naturally love the astarion character. him being a sultry vampire with a hidden agenda/dark past/self-protective “act” and an amazing VA who is clearly having the time of their life… it was over for me before i even picked up the game.

i’m not romancing him in my first playthrough for many reasons..

1) i’m a goody goody character and i’ve decided to try and play naturally the first time without worrying too much about maintaining my morals and romancing him at the same time

2) karlach is my lawfully wedded wife

so instead, i’ve gone for the next best thing— good-naturedly irritating the absolute fuck out of him, lmao

i’ve enjoyed imagining him and my Tav nurturing a sibling rivalry. it started in Act 1’s grove party, when he insinuated he wanted to have some fun with someone. when my character said “are you saying you want to ‘have fun’ with me??” he turned his nose up at me and said “absolutely not, i have STANDARDS” with his full chest. i swear i could hear that VA smiling. which, oh my god, absolutely SENT me… Astarion set my Tav up so bad LMFAO

i leaned in. in my head, my Tav lowkey understands that Astarion isn’t actually cruel, but guarded, so she doesn’t take his remarks personally and is more invested luring out his bluntness (like i am as a player).

his relationship meter is solidly on “good” tho, so it’s not like he actually hates me, thankfully. every time i switch to him for traps or locks, i love imagining my tav pulling at astarion’s arm and using the most grating voice possible to say “astarioooooon, there’s so many traaaaaps, please won’t you lend me your special standards and help out?” and him being like “🙄 really?” and i love it lol.

in my head Astarion is doing a bit. the “i will not stop complaining to hide the fact that i actually really enjoy being part of this team” bit. love that for him.

it’s important to note that up until yesterday, any time i’d talk to him to add him to my party, he would say the standard “well what can i do for you?” or “… yes?”

now! yesterday, i made it to the blood elf lady in moonrise who wants astarion to bite her. i’m woman enough to admit that i was 1000% mesmerized by her dom energy and was willing to let her drain me to the last drop. both the writers and the VAs deserves one million dollars for that scene

but the second she started treating astarion like a thing, assuming i was his “owner” or whatever, she shattered the vibes! i was instantly defensive 😭

astarion refused to bite her, and when the lady asked me to command him to bite her, i obviously chose the “he’s a person (you fucking dick!) and he said no” option

i had genuinely been moved to drop my own teasing relationship and defend him as my friend. i didn’t even want to chose the dialogue option that would’ve fit how i’d played it so far (something like “you DON’T want to bite her, Astarion? i’m a bit surprised”)

ever since that one interaction, Astarion’s voicelines have changed completely!

i was so taken aback when i chatted with him after and he said “Hello my dear (genuine)” or “How can I help you, my friend?”

i thought maybe it was serendipitous— maybe that approval just so happened to nudge my metered relationship w/ Astarion across a certain threshold— but i’d checked his meter before and it didn’t change significantly at all. definitely not enough to warrant this 180 flip, i don’t think

that was fucking rad! i like to think that from astarion’s POV, my tav had gone out on a limb and showed she does genuinely care for him. and maybe now he can start seeing her as a true ally and friend. even though i am annoying, of course.

i’m struck by what a great character moment that was. honestly kudos to the writers and devs for making that a pivotal beat in the astarion/tav relationship, regardless of it being platonic or romantic. this game is full of moments like that — it makes it so addicting and satisfying!!

[specialagentlokitty]

Lestrade x reader - wasn’t expecting that

- Lestrade x Reader - best friends to lovers, set after Lestrade's wife cheats - @mxacegrey 💜

It was late, and you so wanted to go home but you couldn’t, you had so much paperwork to complete, and since Sherlock basically forced his way into your case, you now had twice as much.

Looking at the clock you groaned a little seeing how late it was and looked at your empty coffee cup.

You wanted more, but you didn’t want to get up, so you settled for resting your head on your desk with a small thump, letting out another groan.

“Still here?”

You looked up and Lestrade and nodded your head with a sigh as he walked into the office.

“Joys of paperwork, why’re you here?”

“Was just going to stay here tonight and sort out a hotel room tomorrow.”

“You still haven’t found somewhere?” You asked him.

“No, and got fed up of Sherlock rambling. I’d much rather get a hotel room at this point.”

You chuckled a little nodding your head and looked at him again, looking at the large bag in his hands.

“You know you can stay at mine for now? Right?”

“It’s fine don’t worry, I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

Laughing, you shook your head and stood up, pulling your jacket on, you grabbed your keys and bag, throwing the papers into a desk in your desk you turned of your lamp.

“You won’t be Lestrade, it’s fine. I’ve got a spare room you know that, till you get back on your feet.”

He looked a little relieved and gave you a thankful smile as you followed you out of the office, closing the door for you.

“You got your car?”

“Go a taxi.”

You nodded and lead him to your car, letting him toss his bag in the back you jumped in the drivers seat and waited for him.

You guys talked a little on the way to his, and you showed him the guest room, letting get settled in as you showed him where everything is.

“Hate to be rude, but I’m beat, I’m gonna get some sleep, you should too.”

With that, you offered him a smile and wondered away.

Lestrade woke up before you the next morning, he decided to to make you breakfast and looked around you kitchen which was pretty empty.

“Bloody bell what do you eat…?”

He settled for just ordering breakfast and set your stuff on the table when it arrived.

“Damn you actually found food…”

He turned to the doorway of the kitchen where you were stood rubbing your eyes and letting out a loud yawn.

“No i ordered some. Why’s your kitchen so empty?”

You shrugged a little and sat down, rested your head in your arms and he laughed, pushing your coffee towards you.

You grumbled a little and he smiled, patting your head as he sat down on the opposite end side of the table and you sat up.

“Thanks for breakfast.”

“No problem but since we’ve got the day off I am begging you to go get some shopping.

You smirked a little and shrugged your shoulders, sipping the drink before grabbing one of the pasties from the bag.

“Yeah I guess we can.”

“Thank you, I would prefer to be able to eat. I’ll start looks for places today as well.”

You waved your hand dismissively as you shook your head.

“Don’t rush it, take as long as you need.”

“Thank you, honestly.”

Lestrade helped you around the flat, he cleaned and you took turns cooking, when you forget he would get the shopping and remind you to keep a list of things for when you ran out.

Days turned into week and eventually he had been living there for a half a year and it was a safe to say that you two were best friends.

You decided since it was so hard to get a flat in London he was just going to stay with you, you guys would split bills and such and if he ever changed his mind or found somewhere he liked he could move out at any point.

It was a good little arrangement and it made life easier when you two were working the same case.

You had a weeks holiday, so you passed the time sleeping, playing games and sometimes going out to meet John or Mycroft for lunch when Lestrade was busy.

Humming to yourself, you stood in front of the mirror looking at the outfit you were wearing and frowned trying to figure out if it was what you wanted to settle for.

“Hey (Y/N) you still here?”

“Yeah I’m in my room!” You called back.

Lestrade padded over and knocked on the door before pushing it open slightly, keeping his head turned away.

“You can come in.” You laughed.

He smiled and opened the door fully, walking in only to stop when he saw you dressed up.

You weren’t dressed too fancy, but he would have to admit you definitely looked nice.

You wore jeans, a white shirt with the top button undone, and a black leather jacket, you hair had been done in your favourite style and you had a few other outfits set out on the bed.

“Does this look nice? Is it too casual?”

“Depends. For a work meeting, yes, for meeting friends, no.”

“How about a first date?”

Lestrade felt something in him when you said date, he couldn’t quite place what it was. Was it sadness? No, no it couldn’t have been.

“Date?”

You nodded your head and turned back to look in the mirror with a frown.

“Yeah, I’m meeting a guy for drinks. A friend of Molly’s actually.”

“Right, right.”

Lestrade stared at you back.

“Yeah, yeah it looks nice. Good for a first date.”

You smiled and turned around, walking over you out everything else away again and grabbed some shoes from the corner of your room and pulled them on.

Heading over over to the door, you smiled at Greg again.

“Thanks, I’ll be home in a few hours.”

“Be safe.”

You nodded and left the flat and he just stood in your room for a second before he left and closed the door behind him.

He sat in the sofa, nursing a beer as he idly flicked through channels on the tv.

He couldn’t get it out of his head.

You on a date. You, going out dating. He couldn’t believe it.

He knew it was stupid, of course you would be dating people, you were single, you wanted to meet people, get out there and maybe find someone to settle down with.

You were a few years younger than him, you had been friends ever since you joined the force, but he’d never actually seen you with a partner.

He thought maybe you weren’t interested in dating, and since moving in with you? His marriage having fallen apart and his divorce having just been finalised it made him realise he didn’t have anyone now.

Did he want to start dating again? Did he want to put himself out there again?

He never really thought about that, he just assumed he’d be with his ex wife for the rest of his life and now he didn’t even have that.

He had you, John, and as much as he hated to admit it, Sherlock, that was it. You were us only proper friends that he spoke to.

Lestrade shook his head, maybe he was overthinking it, he didn’t need to worry about that right now, he just had to focus on himself at the minute, dating shouldn’t be a priority.

A few hours slipped past and even though he was turned he didn’t want to go to sleep, he wanted to stay awake, make sure that you got home safely.

He looked at the time and frowned.

“Jesus (Y/N) you should be home by now.”

He went to call you, but you came stumbling through the door not even a minute later, you came padding into the living room and looked at him.

Lestrade just blinked, looking at your wobbly form, the lopsided grin on your face as you walked over and pretty much fell on the sofa next to him.

The moment you dropped down he could smell the alcohol seeping from you.

“Bloody hell did you drink the whole bar?” He asked.

You pat his thigh and laid down, using his leg as a pillow as you dangled you arm over the edge of the sofa.

“I… I think.. two…?”

You sounded confused and you words were slurred.

Sighing, Lestrade placed his hand on your head which made you hum a little as you closed your eyes.

Looked down at you, Lestrade just smiled and shook his head.

“You can’t sleep there.” He whispered.

He pushed you up, and stood up, helping you get into your room and sat you in your bed.

He took your jacket off and placed some more comfortable looking clothes he managed to find on the bed and looked at you.

“Get changed, I’ll get you some water and bowl.”

He left the room, and he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, some pain meds and large mixing bowl from under the sink and walked back into your room.

You had changed, the clothes you wore out tossed all over the room and you were laid on the floor staring at the ceiling.

“(Y/N)?”

Lestrade crouched over you, and you moved your eyes to look at him.

“You want some help to the bed?”

“N.. no…”

“You’re going to sleep here?”

You nodded a little and he sighed, setting the things nearby, he grabbed the pillow and placed it under your head, then grabbed the quilt and gently covered you up.

He crouched next to you again and you carried on staring at the ceiling.

“I.. you stay here…?”

“You want me to stay here?”

“Ye…”

He smiled and gently pat you cheek as he stood up.

“Give me a minute then.”

Lestrade went to get changed and came back with his pillow and his own quilt and laid next to you both of you just staring at the ceiling.

You soon fell asleep, Lestrade falling asleep not long after you.

You woke up to the sun coming through your blinds, and you groaned a little really feeling the hangover you slowly sat up and looked around.

Finding some water and meds you quickly and gratefully took the meds and downed the water before taking a break for breath.

You looked around the room again and stopped when you saw Lestrade on the floor next to you.

Putting the cap on the bottle you set it aside and looked at him, trying to figure out when and how exactly you ended up in your room but you couldn’t.

You tried to figure out why he was sleeping in your floor but you came up with nothing.

Shrugging, you laid down again needing more sleep.

You looked at him, arm tucked under his head, his other arm holding the quilt close to his chest and you smiled.

He looked pretty cute like that.

You closed your eyes and easily drifted back asleep, and when you woke up again Lestrade was already up and gone and you sat up again.

“Hey you’re up.”

He stopped walking and stood in the doorway, and you smiled nodding your head.

“Thanks for the water and meds.”

“No problem how’re you feeling?”

“Like a train wreck.”

You held out your hands and he walked in, helping pull you up before helping you out everything back and you guys headed to the living room.

“How much did you drink? You were pretty much gone to the world.” He laughed.

“I may as well have drank the whole bar, honestly the whole night is just blank. I remember meeting the guy, then we bumped into so random women and then I think we went in and out of a bunch of clubs?”

He laughed again and shook his head at you, handing you a controller and taking the other one of the table.

“Sounds like you had a pretty good night.”

You hummed a little and nodded your head.

“Hey were you sleeping in the floor with me?”

“Yeah you asked me to stay and I was worried about leaving you to sleep alone.”

“Thanks.”

“So you think there’s gonna be another date?”

He was nervous, unsure about what he wanted to hear but he tried to hide it from you.

“Yeah, we’re going out for dinner tonight actually.” You beamed.

Lestrade felt fallen at that, of course the guy would want a second date why wouldn’t he?

He pushed the feeling away and focused on the game.

Over the next few weeks you went on a lot of dates with this guy, and Lestrade had to accept the fact that he wasn’t okay with it.

He was actually sad about it.

But who was he to stop you? You weren’t his. You had a right to date.

You were actually on a date right now, and he was trying to work through the things he was feeling and pushing them away.

While he was lost in his head he didn’t notice the door opening, but he noticed it slamming shut.

Immediately his head shot up.

“(Y/N)?”

Lestrade got up and went straight for you room and looked around, finding you throwing your jacket on the floor and sitting in your bed, holding your face in your hands.

“(Y/N)?”

He slowly walked in, kneeling down in front of you, pulling your hands away from your face to hold them as he looked at you.

“What happened sweetheart?” He asked softly.

“That bastard was making out with some other woman.” You laughed angrily.

Lestrade’s blood boiled, how could anyone do that? Especially to someone like you. Yes, he was angry when his ex wife cheated on him but knowing someone did that to you? He was furious.

He shoved his emotions down and took a deep breath.

“Am I just someone to talk over? Am I not pretty enough? Did I do something?”

You rambled your insecurities and worried to him and he stood up, pulling you up with him he quickly hugged you and you more than happily hugged him back.

“No, no don’t think about yourself like that okay? Don’t let some asshole of a man do that to you sweetheart. You aren’t someone to walk over, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Lestrade took a small deep breath.

“You’re absolutely beautiful (Y/N), and if he can’t see that he’s stupid.”

You sniffled a little, nodding your head as you carried on hugging him.

“I just… can I just.. I want to go to bed…”

“Alright, get some sleep okay?”

He let you go, wiping your tears with his thumbs and he kissed your forehead.

He went to leave but you stopped him.

“Stay…?”

The small crack in your voice was enough for him, he nodded and tucked you under your quilt and he laid on top of it, wrapping you up in his arms.

Neither of you said anything, but even after you fell asleep he didn’t move, he stayed there.

He made sure to get up before you and make you breakfast and you didn’t say a word, you ate silently and he decided to give you some space.

He did everything he could, but it took you a while to feel better and he was there with your every step of the way.

“Do you think I’ll find someone Greg?” You asked one evening.

He looked up from where he was sat on the floor.

“Of course you will, I know you will.”

“Doesn’t seem like it…” you mumbled.

You got up and walked into the kitchen and he quickly followed you.

“Look, you’re smart, okay? Your smart, creative, funny, brave, absolutely beautiful. If you don’t find someone then this world has gone mad.”

You turned around and set your cup down.

“Really? You mean that?”

“Of course! Of course I mean it (Y/N) because it’s true. Everyone who hurts you, everyone who doesn’t decide to stay with you they’re absolutely stupid because you are amazing in every sense of the word.” He smiled.

You smiled and nodded your head, taking a sip from your drink before you set it back down.

Lestrade walked over and stood in front of you, placing his hand on your cheek, letting you lean into his touch as you closed your eyes.

“I know there’s someone out there who’s going to always think the world of you.”

“How do you know?” You asked softly.

Lestrade thought for a moment before he took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second before he looked at you.

He couldn’t stop this anymore.

“Because he’s looking at you right now…” he whispered.

“Greg?”

You opened your eyes and he cupped your face in his hands.

“I’m sorry I can’t keep holding it back anymore. Seeing you get hurt like that, seeing you crying, I can’t stand it. You’re too beautiful to cry, you’re too beautiful to be treated like that sweetheart. I promise you now I’d never do that to you, if you’d give me a chance that is.”

You just stared at him and he quickly backed away, heart racing in his chest realising what he just did.

“I.. I know I’m a few years older than you and I’ve been married and my divorce was finalised a few months ago…”

“Greg…”

“If.. if you don’t want to that’s okay too!” He panicked.

“Greg.”

He quickly turned around, running a hand down his face.

“Oh crap I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He carried on rambling and you walked over, placing your hand on his shoulder you turned him around.

He stopped talking and looked at you.

You looked at him back.

Placing your hand on his face, you ran your thumb along the skin of his cheek.

“(Y/N)…” he breathed out.

You moved your hands and lightly grasped his collar and pulled him closer.

Lestrade cupped your face again and leant down nose brushing against yours.

“Greg…”

“I need you to say it…” he whispered.

You smiled and instead of speaking you leant up and that was all the permission he needed.

Quickly he kissed you back, letting all the emotions he had been feeling for a while came pouring out.

It felt like forever, as if the world slowly down and finally he pulled away, eyes half lidded and you looked at him with a smile.

“You talk to much…” you whispered.

“Maybe I need a reminder why I shouldn’t talk so much?” He smirked.

“I think you do.”

You smirked back and quickly pulled him down to kiss him again, pulling him closely to you and he smiled into the kiss.

He definitely wasn’t expecting that

[treasure-mimic]

Felt like messing around in photoshop today, so, what started as a want to create some franchise icons for Smash turned into full character mockups, so I put together my 10 most wanted characters for Smash Bros., whatever the next game looks like, and I’d like to post them and talk about them a bit.

Quote is I think my most wanted newcomer to Smash, I really like and appreciate everything Cave Story has done, and I think if you’re talking about indie games, Cave Story has probably had the most influence on the industry. Kids today probably don’t know much of anything about this game, but trust me when I say there’d be no Hollow Knight, no Ori, no Celeste, without Quote.

This one might be a little obvious nowadays, but I am fully behind the Waluigi train. Just one point of contention, I think people undersell his potential by just having him reference different sports games and spin-offs. I think the real play is to come up with a wholly original kit based around being a dirty cheater and trickster with a penchant for explosives.

I’d much rather have Paper Mario than Dr. Mario if I’m being entirely honest with you.

This one’s a bit weird, because I don’t have a huge fondness for Excitebike the game or Excitebiker the character, I’m just enamored with this concept of a fighting game character who fights entirely from the back of a motorcycle. I just think that’s wicked as hell. I’ll take it in whatever form I can.

Metroid Dread is in strong contention for my favorite Metroid game ever, and it did finally give us a character with a body plan and toolkit that lends itself to Smash, outside of Sylux and the Hunters, whom I’m not the biggest fans of. I’ve had some contentious history with the way Smash fans talk about Metroid, so I guess I’ll put it out now that I think if, at this point, you’re not vouching for Raven Beak, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Love me some DS VNs, Professor Layton I think at this point has the strongest ties to Nintendo and, since Phoenix Wright got to play in Marvel 3, it should be his time to shine, though I wouldn’t be opposed to any of them.

Honestly, every generation of Pokemon there’s a couple of new mons that I think would make sick Smash characters, and will inevitably get passed up for a lame starter. Nihilego deserves a spot, dammit, she’s more plot important than any number of fire/fighting muscleheads. But if we’re shilling for the most recent gen, you can’t go wrong with a giant hammer.

The Heavy is commonly in talks around Smash Bros. wishlists, especially here in the West, but the obvious problem rears its head pretty quickly. He’s a giant, lumbering, immobile mass whose main weapon takes several seconds to start up and then chews through anything it hits. This is my counterproposal, I think the Scout is just as iconic as the Heavy, comes with a lot of fun weapons and abilities, and actually has some mobility. Imagine using a downward Force-A-Nature shot to recover while spiking someone into the blast zone!

This is for sure a weird one, but once the idea came to me I started getting really attached to it. The number of Enderman variants from Minecraft Dungeons gives the Enderman a surprising amount of variance to pull from, and the Ender Dragon could be its Final Smash.

For the final suggestion, this is for sure a “there’s no chance in hell” but also “it would be really funny”. Scorpion, I think, best represents the aesthetics of Mortal Kombat, a ninja with fire, bladed weapons, and the ability to teleport, which centers him more than Sub-Zero who uses ice, Raiden who uses lightning, and Liu Kang who’s just a martial artist. Leaning heavy on the fire aspect is also a good way to nerf MK’s hypergore for a Rated E10+ game, though that really is the central appeal of Scorpion, trying to shove this edgelord into a kiddy cartoon beat-em-up.

[smash-64]

2022 Game of the Year Countdown 2. Panel de Pon Intelligent Systems Super Famicom, 1995

Yeah! FAIRIES!

In early January, @studentofthors​ said she wanted to try this game. I’m not into puzzle games, but I said I’d give it a shot. Between being completely lost and being stomped into the dust, I somehow developed a love for everything this game offers. Gorgeous visuals, overflowing charm, bright colors, funky bass guitar, and a depth to gameplay that far outreaches my humble skills. Panel de Pon is the greatest puzzle game I’ve ever played, and nothing else even registers on the scale.

Let’s start with the visuals. This game is so gorgeous, it’s hard to believe it’s a Super Famicom game. It has highly detailed and animated sprites, each one distinct from the others and displaying each fairy’s personality with the many reactions during games. The backgrounds are also gorgeous, and I just cannot understand why new Puzzle League games have removed this sort of thing. Just look at them!

Everything about this game is charming and upbeat. Positivity is kind of my thing, so seeing a character like Lip is really fun for me. And all of the fairies have detailed and colorful backgrounds.

Even the bad guys have a sort of charm to them. Thanatos is supposed to be scary, but some of his sprites are just ridiculous.

I cannot get enough of the music from this game. Neris’ theme is calm and relaxing, with a really funky slap bass beat when the panic theme kicks in. Flare’s theme is probably the most invigorating tune. Ruby has a great theme, too. And Walking on a Rainbow is one of my all-time favorite credits tunes. It’s just so calming and reassuring.

So, as everyone likes to point out, this game came West as Tetris Attack, rebranded as a Yoshi game. There was an N64 sequel planned, which ended up being rebranded as Pokemon Puzzle League, and while it did eventually get released on a Japan-only puzzle collection for GameCube, it seems like the developers had only one goal in mind for the series: remove ALL charm from sequels. No fairies anymore for Puzzle League games. This is supremely sad for me and honestly kills all desire for me to play the newer versions. I do like the actual puzzle gameplay, but the rest of the game was what really enticed me to begin with.

I cannot even begin to describe the gameplay to this game because it is so deep and complex. However, the basic concept is so simple, you can grasp the goal of the game in mere seconds. Yet, even after a year of playing this game, I’m probably considered barely even intermediate level. Watching tournament finals absolutely blows me away every single time. I’d lose to these people in literally 10 seconds. It’s absurd.

The VS mode is probably where the most fun can be found, as you can do the story mode against CPU opponents, or fight your friends. But there is an endless mode where you can go for a high score, and there is also a 1P puzzle mode where you are given a puzzle and must solve it within a certain amount of moves. There are an astounding 120 levels to this 1P puzzle mode. This game is 27 years old. I love it.

With the addition of this game to the Nintendo Switch Online subscription, you can play it online against anyone in the world. This was how I initially tried the game out, and it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to Panel de Pon. So many people are discovering the game this way, and are able to play against other people online. I even ordered a physical copy from Japan and swapped the board for a donor cart to be able to play it on my SNES. I brought it into work and we’re currently working on an interdepartmental tournament on break time! 

In the past year, I have gotten no fewer than seven people hooked on this game. I guess it’s similar enough to Candy Crush that people took to it quickly, but then stuck with it because it was more interesting and deeper. Take a break from your normal game rotation and check out something different.

[oddygaul]

Into the Monsterverse - Godzilla 2014 and Kong: Skull Island

Godzilla 2014

Oof, don’t have a lot of positive things to say about this one… I’m gonna keep at it because my friends tell me the American ‘Zillas grow into their niche, but this was a poor first showing.

Godzilla 2014 kicks off with Bryan Cranston doing an impressive TtDW* speedrun, and then his son, Ford, our protagonist, basically spends the rest of the movie trying to follow in his footsteps by telling his wife to stay put in a city that’s about to be nuked and then refusing to call her for the rest of the movie. Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Ford is one of the least charismatic dudes I have ever seen star in a movie, a big piece of cardboard absolutely void of character or convincing pathos, and I laughed out loud multiple times at his dicey acting choices. This quickly dashed any hopes of me appreciating the movie as the serious, credible drama it’s attempting to be.

*Time to Dead Wife

pretty sure I’ve seen this exact shot in every Air Force recruitment ad ever

I wasn’t a big fan of the MUTOs. They look like designs from a PS2 game: not in terms of rendering, the VFX are fine, but they have this incredibly flat, polygonal design that brings to mind a 2005-era pause menu bestiary. While the silhouettes are fine from the front or while flying, the body plans and musculature are not convincing, and I truly hate the design for their hind legs – they give the impression of a hunched-over human in a suit, with their butts transitioning into ill-fitting digitigrade legs.

One of the movie's weirdest stylistic choices, seemingly a result of Godzilla 2014’s attempt at a more serious, grounded* tone, is a refusal to indulge the audience in cool monster fights. At least three times during the movie, just as Godzilla and the MUTOs meet up to throw down, we hard-cut to another scene rather than seeing the battle play out. Once, it cuts to a little kid who sees the fight on the TV, forcing us to watch him as he watches the fight instead of getting to see it ourselves; in another instance, a character is sealing themselves into a bunker, leaving us to literally watch a door slowly close on our view of the monsters' clash.

It feels like they were going for a Cloverfield-esque found footage angle, where we don’t always have a good view of the action because we’re following the boots on the ground characters, but it doesn’t commit to this aesthetic anywhere else in the movie. We have plenty of wide-angle, omnipresent cinematography for all the other scenes, so it makes these fight cutaways feel like a gag or running joke. Look, I’m fine with a Godzilla movie taking a more serious tone rather than being a monster beat ‘em up, but when the human story is as bland as this one, cool fights would have been a nice solace.

*I mean, as grounded as you can get in a movie where the military’s Plan A is to nuke San Francisco

The treatment of Big Zil himself is a mixed bag. Visually his design is pretty cool, but I was shocked at how weak his SFX were. Godzilla’s iconic roar is replaced with a strange, machine-like screeching noise, and his atomic breath lacks any sound at all. I think this was done as a stylistic choice – the classic Hollywood contrast trick of suddenly cutting out all the background noise, the score, the effects, to tighten focus on the visuals for a big moment – but Godzilla’s SFX are a pretty core part of his identity, and the moment felt anemic. In terms of character, Godzilla is pushed all the way onto the good guy side of the spectrum, helping humanity to push back those pesky interlopers, which is a wild choice for the first movie in a franchise, and feels bafflingly unexplained.

Honestly, the movie was at its best when Bryan Cranston was yelling at everyone about his disks. Get the man his disks!

Kong: Skull Island

Wow, what a pivot.

Kong: Skull Island has a scene where Tom Hiddleston straps on a gas mask and strides through a deadly chemical cloud while using a samurai sword to slice up a flock of pterodactyls. And yet, despite the movie being filled with this sort of gleeful action schlock, it has a significantly more coherent story and tone than Godzilla 2014 ever manages. The narrative is no masterpiece, especially compared to recent efforts like Minus One, but Skull Island’s ensemble cast all have enough going on to glue things together.

“Yeah... that was an unconventional encounter.”

The characters are tropey, sure, but they’re handled well; particular standouts include John Goodman as a desperate but charismatic cryptozoologist, and Samuel L. Jackson as a soldier who’s been at war so long he quakes at the thought of returning to civilian life, and become obsessed with finding a new battle to fight. Hell, even John C. Reilly’s character, a stranded WW2 pilot whose role initially seems defined by goofy non-sequiturs, ends up having a lot of heart and serves as the movie's emotional capstone.

There’s certainly some missteps with the characterization and themes – the Vietnam setting doesn’t add much to the movie outside of the aesthetic trapping, the Iwi tribe is a lazy, undercooked attempt to sidestep the Kong franchise’s history of orientalism while walking head-on into the noble savage trope, et cetera – but the character conflicts are compelling enough to keep things interesting.

Plus, even with so much focus on the humans and their motivations, Skull Island remembers it’s about Kong. It’s about the world he inhabits, the enemies he protects his island from, the dangers he faces as the last of his kind. The movie makes a lot of smart choices to facilitate this focus, including plenty of slower, endearing moments with Kong. In 2014, Godzilla feels like a bit player in his own movie. We learn less about him than the random MUTOs, and he basically just shows up, saves humanity for unexplained reasons, then leaves; given the much more serious tone of that movie, it comes off as fairly ridiculous. By the end of Skull Island, on the other hand, we have a solid understanding and appreciation for Kong and his motivations.

Also he uses a propeller like a flail, are you fucking kidding me?? hell yeah

Alright, now I’m fully bought in. On to King of the Monsters.

[fragileizywriting]

Adrien sags against Luka, limp like a wet paper bag. “I can’t feel my balls.”

“Oh, you’re fine.” In fact… “You know, more than fine, actually. A normal demon would be out of it for the next few hours; the fact that you’re talking is amazing.” 

Luka looks… worried. Sort of. Like a man who’s been told that he’s allowed to touch gunpowder, aware that someone right next to him is holding a match, there’s a bit of a daredevil streak in his eyes, lit up by the candlelight surrounding them. “What? Seriously?”

“Oh, yeah. Maybe it’s his age that’s helping him, who knows?” Marinette confesses, before turning back to Adrien who is doing his best not to let his gorgeous green eyes go cross. “What’s it like being this young? Really, tell me, I’m curious. It’s been so long since I was your age; how are you dealing with the fact that I’m essentially stealing magic from you?”

“It’s kind of like you’re pulling a drain plug from a bathtub and all the water goes rushing out,” Adrien slurs out. “Like… the contracts I have in my chest are getting sucked out of me.”

“Like your dick is a straw.”

“I hate that analogy,” the Prince groans, but makes no effort to prove her wrong. “You’re one dangerous woman, Marinette.”

She pinches his cheeks. “And you are the cutest little demon Prince I’ve ever snacked on. Oh, I could eat you right up!”

“‘Snacked on’,” he wheezes. Face flushed like he’s catching on to what the predicament is, about how Luka has him in a tight grip and Marinette is taking all she can from him. His chest expands so quickly, sucking in air, attempting to level his heartbeat in a way so that his heart isn’t beating erratically in her ears. Is he nervous? Excited? Worried? That crook in his brow, is that because he’s trying to concentrate? Or is it because he’s trying to plan an escape route. “Oh, I get it now, you’re playing with me because you think I can’t last until you’re full!”

“Uhm, you can’t?” This guy. Oh boy. “It’s kind of the whole point. Succubus, and all that.”

“I can do it.”

“You can not.”

“I absolutely can.”

“Not to play Devil’s advocate here,” Luka interjects, and it is kind of funny, how he’s rock-hard and sweaty yet still managing to have a normal conversation. ‘Normal’. “But you’re aware that she’s— quite literally— capable of ripping out all the magic you have if she wants to. At this point, the fact that she’s taking it bit by bit is because she’s treating us like finger food. She’s sampling. We’re the buffet table.”

Marinette sighs. “You’re such a breath of fresh air, Luka. Thank you for being the wisest guy in this room.”

“I call bullshit. I can do it.”

Oh, god, don’t blame her for rolling her eyes! “Do what, exactly?”

“Keep up.”

“What’s the end goal?” Oh, he’s got her interested now. Marinette’s always loved games, ever since she was first brought into the world. Games and playing, always having some sort of rules or law. “What are you trying to achieve?”

“I’m going to prove that not everybody just gives in to you so easily; you’ve just been picking your lays wrong.”

“Wait a minute,” Luka replies, “that means that if I don’t do that, I’ll be considered weak. What if I don’t want to get my ass handed to me?”

“Then don’t play.”

“What will this prove?” Marinette asks.

“That I’m better.”

Luka barks out a laugh. “Oh, Jesus.”

“I am,” Adrien lobbies. “I’m not some normal loser demon, I can stand up to you.”

“You can not,” she snorts. “You’re going to bend and you’re going to get your perfect ass handed to you, and you’re going to whine and complain about how unfair it is.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Really riveting stuff, you two,” Luka drones in, humor still glinting in those eyes. “Love to see it, honestly.”

“I dare you to try to make me submit to you.”