#I basically just took French and Latin and translated words and messed with spellings a bit lmao

[thelastspeecher]

King Stansort AU - The Queen

I’ve had part of the scene where Ford meets his new sister-in-law (aka the queen of a small European country) written out for a while, but last night I finally finished it up.  So here, enjoy Ford making a fool of himself in front of royalty he is now related to.

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              “Unkel Ford!” Danny chirped excitedly.  Ford smiled at her.

              “Yes, dear?”

              “Spect!  Spect!”  Danny held up a completed coloring page.

              “I see it.  It’s very pretty.  Good job,” Ford said kindly.  Danny beamed. “Daisy, are you done yet?”

              “Non,” Daisy said, shaking her head.  She said something in Lironian.  Ford frowned.

              “What?”

              “She said that she wants to make sure it’s perfect,” Fiddleford translated.

              “Ah.  Okay.” Ford and Fiddleford were supervising Danny and Daisy for a few hours while Stan ran an errand he had been incredibly vague about.  At the moment, they were watching the girls color in the dining room.  Ford relished the opportunity to spend time with his nieces.

              Particularly time that won’t involve Stan scowling at me.  Fiddleford said something in Lironian to Daisy, pointing at her coloring page. Daisy pushed his hand away. Fiddleford chuckled.  A door opened.

              “Okay, take another step,” Stan’s voice said.  Someone laughed.  Danny and Daisy’s heads shot up.

              “You’re being even more fussy than when I was pregnant, dear,” a female voice said.  “I didn’t think that was possible.”  Danny and Daisy leapt to their feet and ran out of the room.

              “Mámá!” the girls screeched at the top of their lungs. Ford looked at Fiddleford.

              “Is that…”

              “Yep.”  Fiddleford got up.  “Sounds like the queen is home.”  Ford’s mouth went dry.  “Come on. You need to meet your sister-in-law.”

              Ford followed Fiddleford through the halls to the main entrance of the castle. When they arrived, Stan was frantically trying to keep his daughters from swarming the woman next to him.  He seemed to be attempting to pick up Daisy, but she evaded his grasp.  Danny, who was already in his arms, was squirming to break loose.  The woman let out a laugh.

              “Stanley, it’s fine.  I haven’t seen my babies in ages.  They can hug me,” she said cheerfully.  Stan looked at her with a strained expression.

              “The doc said to reduce excitement.  I’m not completely sure what that means, but you probably shouldn’t get tackled by two hyperactive toddlers.”

              “There’s no need to fuss so much,” the woman said.  Stan’s gaze traveled to her right arm, which was in a sling.  “I’m fine.”

              “Angie…”

              “Do you want me to pull rank on you, dear?” the woman – Angie – threatened. Stan managed a weak smile.

              “…Fine.”  He set Danny down on the ground and gave her and Daisy a short command in Lironian. Danny and Daisy nodded.  Daisy lunged forward to wrap her small arms around Angie’s legs.  Angie chuckled.  She crouched down and began to coo at her daughters in Lironian.  Stan ran a hand through his hair anxiously.  “By the way, I know you said you wanted to meet my brother, but-”

              “No buts about it,” Angie said.  She looked up.  Her eyes met Ford’s.  She stood. “Looks like he found us, anyways.”  Stan’s face soured.

              “Great,” he muttered.  Ford stood stock still, uncertain of how to behave around a queen.  Fiddleford grabbed his hand and dragged him over.

              “Angie, this is my research partner, Stanford Filbrick Pines, PhD,” Fiddleford said.  “Stanford, this is my younger sister, Queen Angie the First, Ruler of the State of Lirone, Ambassador to the Deep Forests-”

              “Fidds, he doesn’t need to hear my long list of titles,” Angie said, waving a hand airily.  “He’s probably heard Stan’s a million times, and I don’t want to subject him to any more.”

              “Can you blame me for showing off?” Stan asked.  “Or for showing off the girls?”  Angie frowned at him.

              “Wait, did you insist on rattling off Danny and Daisy’s list of titles, too?”

              “…Yeah.”

              “Pfft.”  Angie snorted in amusement.  “Bet you had quite the dry mouth after that.”

              “It was worth it,” Stan replied.  Fiddleford elbowed Ford.

              Right!  I’m supposed to bow.  Ford swallowed nervously and bowed to his sister-in-law.

              “Your highness,” he said solemnly.  To his surprise, Angie laughed.  Ford straightened.  Angie’s eyes twinkled with merriment.

              She and Fiddleford have the same lovely blue eyes.

              “At least you got the bow right,” she said jovially. Ford opened and closed his mouth.  “You got the wrong form of address, though.”

              “…Oh.  I did?”

              “Yes.  A monarch should be referred to as ‘your majesty’, not ‘your highness’.”  Angie gestured to her daughters, who were still embracing her legs.  “Danny and Daisy are princesses, so they are called ‘your highness’.  Stan and myself are monarchs, so ‘your majesty’.”

              “Ah.”

              “I told you to call us ‘your majesty’,” Stan grunted.

              “I thought you were pulling my leg,” Ford said.  “I mean, you told me to address everyone as ‘your majesty’.” Angie gave Stan a weary look.

              “Stanley…”

              “He was being a…”  Stan looked down at his young daughters embracing Angie tightly.  “D-I-C-K.  I was just treating him the way a D-I-C-K should be treated.”  Ford raised an eyebrow.

              “Whatever happened to ‘I’ll teach my kids swears when they’re young, it’ll prepare them for the real world’?”

              “Yeah, when I said that, I wasn’t planning on my kids being literal royalty,” Stan snapped.  “If I swear and they repeat it, we could cause an international incident.”

              “I feel like the royal family is overly concerned about international incidents,” Ford remarked.  “I mean, I’ve been told I could cause one.”

              “Stanford,” Angie said in a clear, carrying voice, “don’t speak ‘bout things you don’t fully understand.”  Ford blinked.  He opened his mouth.  “You might have a PhD in physics, but I have multiple degrees from the finest schools in Europe, one of which is a political science degree, another of which is in international relations.  I also know intimately how politicking between heads of nations works, and am one of the very, very few royal monarchs to currently be running a country.” Angie leaned in.  Her voice went deathly quiet.  “Stan was right when he said you could learn how to keep your mouth shut.”  Stan laughed. Angie frowned at him.  “Don’t act all high and mighty, my love.  You had to learn how to do that, too.”  She straightened.  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some work I need to do.”  She walked away regally, her daughters trailing after her.

              “Angie,” Stan said, frustrated, “the doc said…”  He got too far away for Ford to make out the rest of his sentence. Ford turned to Fiddleford. Fiddleford shook his head.

              “She’s right, you know.  You’re not an expert in this, so keep your mouth shut.”

              “I may not be an expert, but even I know that a young child mindlessly saying an improper word without knowing what it means won’t result in World War III,” Ford snapped impatiently.  Fiddleford nodded.

              “You’re right about that.  But…” Fiddleford sighed.  “Look.  The politics of Lirone are complicated and private.  We keep to ourselves, we always have.  That’s how our unique culture has survived this long.  We keep our people safe.

              “My pa and Angie, they’ve started opening up the country more.  It’s a risky move for our more…vulnerable residents, so they have to play their cards exactly right to ensure our country doesn’t tear itself apart.”  Fiddleford looked away.  “Or get torn apart by others.”  He stuffed his hands in his pockets.  “I should go help Stan keep Angie from doing work.  She needs her rest.  You know your way back to your room by now, right?”  Ford nodded.  “Good. See you later.”  He walked away.  Ford frowned at him as he left.

              That was…odd.  Even for Fiddleford, who is an admittedly odd individual.  What did he mean by “vulnerable residents”?  And who would tear apart a small country that hasn’t gotten involved in any international conflicts? Ford rubbed his chin.  Something’s not right here.  I need to figure out what it is.  He turned around and began to make his way to the room he had been staying in.  A flash of light in the corner of his eye caught his attention.  He looked down.

              “What is this?” he mumbled to himself, kneeling to inspect it further. He cautiously poked at the pile of sparkles resting on the carpet.

              If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was fairy dust.  Ford looked at the sparkles for a brief second before shaking his head.  No. I’m much too far from Gravity Falls for that to be the case.  He stood to his full height again and continued on his way.

              Once his footsteps had faded, a small, winged figure poked its head around a potted plant in the part of the hallway Ford had just vacated.  The fairy’s wings fluttered in an agitated manner and it spoke angrily in Lironian, before flying off in the opposite direction.