#I badly wanna nitpick about skrakk but I want to save that for another post on skags.

[i-am-a-meat-popcicle]

Gross Awful Things on Pandora

The following will be a list of the most horrible headcanons I can come up with.

Special thanks to @claptraprights and @queerzubat for some inspiration. Although I’ve been planing on writing up this group of headcanons for a long time, I just didn’t have enough for a decent post just recently.

Content warning: unsanitary, gore, violence, illness, generally disturbing themes

When some bandits come across an animal that has been dead for some time and visibly bloated, they’ll string it up from a tree and hit it with a stick, causing rotten flesh to explode everywhere.

It is called a meat pinata. 

Sometimes caravans will come across a dead rakkhive without knowing and drive over it. Sometimes it’ll look like just a regular hill because it’ll be covered up by lose dirt and sand. driving over it will cause the exposed portion of the rakkhive to explode, often overturning the vehicle. Always covering everything in rotten blood and guts. Will also form a small crater rot and decay that said vehicle can also fall into.

Bandits have to swim out of a deep pool of rotten rakkhive innards and may have to fight of some scythids that were eating those innards.

Scythids are attracted to the smell of fermented material, alchohol, and general decay. Their high pitched squeal will attract more scythids.

Most of rust commons smells like iron, rust, rotting biomass, petrol, chemicals, burning flesh. It has this weird undertone of something sweet, and acidic. 

Eridium blight smells somewhat similar but with the smell of ash, and sulfur. The acidic smell is higher.

Slag tastes metallic and like mechanical oil. It’s viscous and burns when it touches the skin. The fumes are also somewhat poisonous. Extended exposure can cause such side effects as: dizziness, migraine, lungs feel like they’re burning, and nausea. Serious side effects to slag exposure can include reduced circulation in some parts of the body, such as the eyes and tongue. 

Sometimes a bandit will take a skag (yes skags will have bladders, it’s for the sake of marking territory) or stalker bladder and fill it with either blood or urine, tie it up, then use it in a sort of messed up game of water balloon game.

Bandits will often try and steal eggs from a rakk hive. They’ll have to dig their hands inside of the holes the rakks had already dug out for themselves. they kinda have to go all the way up to the shoulder to get to the eggs.

Smells like pus and other fluids. None of them good.

They boil the eggs in urine. (By the way this is based on a real thing that some people in certain cultures do. Sadly I can’t remember the name. I think it was done because of harsh droughts left them with little water or something. The effect is that the egg white turns yellow and the yolk turns green.)

They’ll eat these eggs with thresher steak (not recommended, very poisonous) and call it “green eggs and ham”. (thanks to my bestie for ruining my childhood when I told her about the urine eggs by making this reference.)

Bandits will sometimes bottle up a mixture of skag, rakk, and their own piss and dump it out in a few areas around their camps to keep away other animals.

It is very challenging to get the urine and often involves walking around with a funnel and a jar.

Bandits sometimes bottle it up in booze bottles and will sometimes accidentally drink the urine.

Sometimes they can’t tell the difference.

No one really wants to know what Rakk ale is actually made out of, but it involves a certain animal’s secretion. 

Cleanser but still might be considered gross:

Interesting thought about Skag pearls.

Remember when I mentioned that Skags have a gizzard like a bird? Well, birds sometimes swallow rocks to help with digestions. Skags do something similar. Even though they have teeth for tearing and shredding meat, they still need some extra help in breaking down food thanks to a lack of grinding teeth. Usually the rocks come right back out when they vomit/dedicate, but not all rocks always come out. Swallowed pebbles remain in the gizzard for too long will eventually cause it to form into a pearl.

You’ll also sometimes come across some polished stones when you kill a skag.

They’re pretty and can sell for a somewhat decent amount of money.