#I ate dirt as a kid why is my immune system shit

[d1sc0-1nfern0]

I am experiencing the horrors (my lungs and throat are starting to hurt a little and I’m suddenly feeling fatigued).

[queenofbaws]

And from the prompt list: different ways to say ‘i love you’:

[cups person b’s cheeks] “you are a menace and you almost died back there if it wasn’t for me.”

Conrad&Fliss

“how did you even get sick? you look ugly. come here.”

Ashley and Taylor (since it say it can be use for friendship,too! And this looks like something Taylor will say in an affectionate way...maybe!🤣)

Thank you~!♡

definitely more than six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

Taylor didn’t make it a habit to be early for John’s class, and there were good reasons for that: (1) showing up early made you look like you cared about a class, and spoiler alert, she couldn’t have cared less about creative writing if she’d been asked to care less about it; (2) you always ran the risk of being left alone with the professor themselves, and God help her, she’d rather be burned at the stake than have to make idle chit-chat with John; (3) even if you weren’t left alone with the professor, you might be left alone with your classmates, and she’d rather hang herself than deal with Angela for more than twenty seconds; and most importantly, (4) it was just boring.

Still, she’d gotten out of her previous class a few minutes before she should’ve, and it hadn’t been nearly enough time for her to duck into a dining hall for a snack or anything like that, so early she was. Bored, too. Mostly bored.

As she sat in her usual seat, scrolling through the endless bullshit her Facebook timeline had to offer, it occurred to her that she could’ve just…skipped. Gone back to her dorm. Slept. Not dealt with any of this crap at all. It wasn’t like anything was due, and they sure didn’t have a midterm or anything, so…ugh, except she’d gotten there early. It would’ve looked real bad if she just dipped now.

She started out of her thoughts as something hit the ground next to her chair, Ashley’s familiar messenger bag laying cocked against the table. “Oh hey there, sport. How’s—Jesus Christ Almighty, what bus hit you?”

Ashley pulled her own chair a few inches away from Taylor’s, widening the space between them from the usual couple of inches to a gulf. “Hey,” she said, her voice smaller than normal (which was saying something). She sniffed once, bringing attention to how red her nose was. Before, Taylor had just sort of been keyed in on the bags under her eyes. “That bad, huh?”

“That bad?” Taylor asked, sliding her phone into her pocket and laying her arms on the table, angling herself to get a better look at Ashley. “You look like a piece of roadkill someone popped in the microwave to warm up for lunch, Ash.”

“Uh…ew. And…thanks? I guess.”

She watched her in silence for a beat, her eyes narrowing further and further with each motion Ashley brought herself through. Out came her notebook. Out came her pencil pouch. Out came her usual mechanical pencil. Out came her extra eraser. Open went her notebook…it was too  much. Finally, Taylor reached over, covering the lined page with her own hand. “You’re sick.”

“Um…yeah, so maybe you shouldn’t be touching my—”

“Oh no. Oh nononono, this isn’t about me.” Yet. “I don’t get sick. I ate so much playground dirt as a kid, my immune system is like…iron-clad. But holy shit, lady, why the hell are you here? You should be in bed! Resting! Or at least, y’know, moaning into a tissue like Oliver Twist with a wasting disease.”

Ashley laughed, but it was obvious at once it hurt. Her entire body seemed to cringe back from the sound she’d made, her face scrunching up. “Ow ow ow…” she muttered, one of her hands going to her throat. “I know, Taylor, I know, but…I don’t…I don’t miss class, okay? That’s not who I am. Besides, I’m fine, I can…” She sniffled loudly, then promptly dipped down to rummage through her bag for the aforementioned tissue. “I’m fine.”

“Nope.”

“N…huh? What do you mean nope? We—”

She slapped both of her hands down on the table in front of them, making Ashley (and Andrew, who she’d only just noticed across the classroom) jump. “This is college, honeybabe, not middle school. There aren’t attendance awards! Nope. Decision made. C’mon. I’m taking you home.”

“You’re…what?”

“Yup,” she said, nodding fervently, grabbing her own bag from where she’d slung it over the back of her chair. “I can’t just sit by and watch you suffer here for an hour and a half! That’d be sadistic! I’m going to personally see to it that you get back to your dorm safe and sound, tucked into bed all nice and cozy, and maybe, if you play your cards right, I’ll even microwave you some soup for that achy throat of yours.”

“I…” Ashley didn’t seem especially convinced, but Taylor had long-since learned the trick to getting her to loosen up; as long as you took the reins and talked with enough confidence, eventually you could (and would) wear through her anxiety. “I mean I guess…I probably shouldn’t be sneezing on other people…” Slowly, very slowly indeed, she started reversing her little rituals, shutting her notebook and slipping her pencil back into its pouch.

Too slowly, in fact.

Way too slowly.

“Afternoon, people,” John said as he bustled through the door, not exactly looking at any of them but nodding in their general direction. “Hope you did the reading, because we’re—”

“Ashley’s sick,” Taylor proclaimed, and that got John to look at them. She only felt her resolve grow stronger when she saw the expression there: confusion. “Like, really, really sick.”

Ashley flashed a sheepish smile—then she started moving double-time, putting her stuff into her bag and going to grab it. Taylor beat her to the punch, though, slinging the messenger bag over her own body so Ashley wouldn’t have to carry anything.

“Uh…sorry to hear that?” John said slowly, clearly trying to figure out what the point of the little scene was.

“She’s running a crazy fever. Probably super contagious. I’m gonna head out and make sure she gets home safe—you guys have a good class without us!” And then, half-leading and half-pulling Ashley along with her, she ducked out of the classroom, breathing a sigh of relief once they hit the relative safety of the hallway. “Not too shabby if I do say so myself…”

Beside her, Ashley sighed a shaky, tired sigh, but it came with another tiny attempt at laughter. “Wow,” she joked, “That was so smooth.”

“I thought so!”

She rolled her eyes, still watery and only getting worse once they stepped outside into the sun. “You’re so friggin’ transparent, do you know that? It’s like, incredibly obvious you were just looking for an excuse to cut class.”

“Whaaat?” Taylor gasped, pressing a hand to her own chest in shock before grinning like the goddamn Gerber baby. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. The only thing I am is super-duper-duper worried about my bee-eff-eff-sie being sick ay-eff.” She threw her arm across Ashley’s shoulders, hugging her close as they walked the familiar path towards the residence halls. “Seriously, you look so bad. I’m doing you a favor, hiding you from society.”

“Oh my God. You don’t have to be a bitch about it,” she laughed, though she didn’t even try to push her away. “Can’t even take pity on me when I’m dying, huh?”

“Nope!” Then, because they still had a walk ahead of them, she gave her a sidelong smirk, nudging her with her hip. “How’d you even get sick anyway? You been mackin’ on Hartley while he has the sniffles or something?”

“Ughhh…know what? I changed my mind. I’m going back to class.”

Taylor only held her tighter. “Nuh-uh. Sorry, but you’re officially my hall pass, and I’m not lettin’ go.”

[jesuschrist-shootingstar]

trying to explain to my friend why they should eat dirt

sputnik: puppy go eat some dirt

the rocks and worms add extra flavour

puppy: sputnik i am a 14 almost 15 year old with a perfectly fine mental state, why am i, a responsible person gonna eat dirt

sputnik: immunity

puppy: babe do you want me to die

sputnik: THIS IS Y U EAT DIRT

sputnik: help me convince puppy to eat dirt

me: dirt taste good

sputnik: very good

rocks add extra flavour

me: never heard of mudcake 🤨

sputnik: so good

it slaps

puppy: i was sick since i was literally in the womb, TT

sputnik: GO EAT DIRT

puppy: do you expect my extremely overprotective parents who knew i was constantly getting sick to allow my young ass outside and consume the ground,,

me: bro I got gnarly health shit since I twas birthed and yet I ate dirt and rocks and clay and grass and flowers and sticks like a NORMAL child

sputnik: most kids eat dirt at least once

and sticks

puppy: the closest thing i have done that is by almost eating crayons when i was 2,,

me: you,,, go outside,,, just fucking drop to the floor and start snackin

puppy: nO??

sputnik: almost?

u didn't commit? ha coward

puppy: BABE I WAS TWO

I WAS TWO FUCFKFGJHBJGKLFFD

:lipbite:

me: I used to eat all the four leaf clovers I'd find (I'm surprisingly good at finding them?)

puppy: THE GROUND IS??

i dont understand this,,

sputnik: little kids eat alot of things they shouldn't

me: but no literally eat dirt and floor shit and it helps ur immune system or whatever

sputnik: science

it's actually true

me: oop actually yeah there's multiple studies on it

puppy: damn my hospitalized ass should've attempted to eat dirt from the flower pot,,

me: puppy... eat dirt

puppy: bro im perfectly sane i would rather not,,

sputnik: eat the dirt

it's not about sanity

it's about living

me: PUPPY THE ARTICLE SAYS EAT DIRT MAKE YOU NOT ALLERGIC

puppy: DUDE

sputnik: SEE

me: BECOME IMMUNE

puppy: IM NOT GONNA EAT DIRT

sputnik: EAT DIRT

puppy: NO

sputnik: DIRT MAKE HEALTHY

me: I'VE NEVER DIED AND I ATE SO MUCH DIRT AS A KID

sputnik: SAME

me: THEREFORE EAT DIRT MAKE IMMORTALITY

puppy: THERE COULD BE DOG PISS OR SHIT

sputnik: DOUBLY IMMUNITY

me: THERE COULD BE DOG PISS OR SHIT ON THE CABBAGE YOU BUY FROM THE STORE

puppy: BRO I CLEAN IT BEFORE USING IT

I LET IT SOAK IN SALT WATER AND SHITTT

sputnik: YOU'RE TAKING AWAY THE EXTRA FLAVOUR

me: but the piss has still tainted the soul of the cabbage, no water can cleanse the cabbage in the eyes of god

puppy: yeah let's just put it as, my maids, butler and parents witnessing my ass outside drop dead head on the ground and fists full of dirt at 8 at night

sputnik: IM TELLING YOU

it's normal

puppy: not for a 14 year old ..