#I appreciate it A LOT

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Surprise. Pt. 3 Post Azkaban!Sirius x Mom!Reader

You and Sirius have a chat.

Part One. Part Two.

Taglist: @box-of-kinderjoy @projectdreamwalker @goldenharrysworld @navs-bhat @sagestack

You aren’t sure what you expected Sirius to look like after more than a decade in Azkaban, but this is much worse than you pictured. The dirty, malnourished, manic-looking man standing in front of you is a far cry from the healthy, handsome Sirius you once knew. The sight of him in this horrid state is enough to grow a lump in your throat.

You always had complex feelings about Sirius after he was sent to Azkaban. It was easy to be angry at him for betraying everyone and causing the death of James and Lily, but you were more than angry. You were devastated, to say the least. It’s impossible to say how many nights you cried yourself to sleep. Even knowing what he’d done, it was hard to imagine the one you loved rotting away in Azkaban.

The first few years without him were hell on earth. It wasn’t long after he was incarcerated you found out you were pregnant, and whilst everyone in the wizarding world was partying and celebrating the downfall of You-Know-Who, you were curled up in a ball sobbing and wondering how in the world you were going to do this all on your own.

It was difficult, but you managed. As the years went by and Estelle grew bigger, things got easier. You were able to push Sirius out of your mind and go on without him, but not without continuous effort. With every life change and new milestone reached, you couldn’t help but wonder how differently things would be if Sirius were there too.

For Estelle, you tried your very best to make sure she never wanted for anything, but your heart ached at the thought of her never knowing the love of a father. Estelle used to ask about him (“Why don’t I have a dad?” “Where is he?” “Is he dead?”), and you were never sure what to tell her.

You aren’t proud of it, but as her questions persisted, you lied to her. You lied and told Estelle you don’t know who her father is. She stopped asking about him after that.

You don’t know why you lied. It would’ve been much simpler to tell the truth, but maybe a small part of you wanted Estelle to blame you rather than blame Sirius for her lack of a father. It felt a little stupid, but you didn’t want Estelle to hate the idea of her father. You supposed it would be easier for her to accept her father doesn’t know she exists, rather than to accept her father is a mass murderer in prison for life.

Then you got an owl from Remus Lupin—someone you hadn’t heard from in over a decade—asking to have lunch and talk. You were surprised but receptive. You assumed he met Estelle at Hogwarts and he wanted to know of her lineage under the guise of catching up, and you were half right.

After having Estelle in class and putting two and two together, Remus decided to get in touch with you to tell you the truth about Sirius.

After taking in all of the new information, you felt numb. It’s a lot to take in—learning that Sirius is innocent, and Peter Pettigrew of all people was the one to cause all of this pain.

You came home, politely asked Estelle how her day was, and barely heard her as she told you about the stray dog she found today. Too lost in your thoughts, you ‘listened’ to Estelle’s rambling for about ten minutes before realizing she was talking about Sirius’s animagus.

It had to be Sirius. Why else would there be a giant, wolf-like black dog hanging around your house?

You pretended to Estelle that you’d never seen the dog before, and maybe he belongs to some of the muggles that live further up the road. You carry on your evening as normal, quickly changing the subject anytime she began to talk about the dog, and had her go to bed at a reasonable time.

Only when you were sure Estelle was asleep did you come outside.

You suppose you’ve been staring too long as Sirius speaks up first. It’s hard to read his expression, and his voice is deeper than you remember. “I’d ask how have you been, but clearly you’ve been busy.”

You try to swallow the lump in your throat, urging yourself not to cry. After meeting with Remus and immediately coming home to Estelle, you haven’t had any time to process the information you’ve been given.

There were so many times you’d asked yourself “What if Sirius were still here?” and then immediately pushed the thought away, reminding yourself he’s a horrible man. A traitor and a murderer.

Only he’s not. He’s none of those things.

He’s suffered terrible consequences that he’s done nothing to deserve, and that’s heartbreaking. The last thirteen years of his life were ripped away from him and he was sent to live in horrid conditions, just because he and James chose to trust Peter with something they shouldn’t have.

A heavy weight of guilt drops into your stomach. Sirius had done nothing wrong and yet everyone—including yourself—thought he got what he deserved by being locked away. You hardly even thought to question whether he was truly guilty or not.

Your throat tightens and your lip quivers, and you step forward to wrap your arms around his waist. You can feel the bones underneath his skin, and you sniffle, feeling a couple of tears escape from your eyes.

Sirius takes a moment to respond, a little shocked by your sudden hug and crying. He supposes it’s not unwarranted though.

He reciprocates your hug, one dirty hand cradling the back of your head and the other wrapped around your torso. It’s almost strange how natural it feels. He rests his chin on the top of your head and faintly smiles. You smell good, and it’s wonderful to get such an unexpectedly warm welcome.

Although he has Remus to thank for that. If Remus hadn’t reached out to you first, Sirius imagines this meeting would be going a lot differently.

After a few moments of letting yourself cry into his chest, you finally speak, your voice cracking a bit as you do so. “You smell like shit.”

Sirius gives you a tight squeeze and chuckles quietly, “You live in a cave for a year and we’ll see how you fare.”

You purse your lips and feel more tears forming. He’s been living in a cave? Your throat feels tight as you breathe, “I’m so sorry, Sirius… For everything.”

“There’s nothing you could’ve done.” He responds immediately. There was no way for you to know the truth, and even if you did, it probably wouldn’t have changed anything. “…Did you know you were expecting when it happened?”

You shake your head. “No. Didn’t figure it out until a few weeks after you’d been gone.”

“I-… I can’t find the words to tell you how sorry I am.” Sirius whispers. His adam’s apple bobs. “I can’t say when, but I promise I’ll come back to the both of you.”

“I know you will.” You say quietly, nodding. You knew from the beginning he wouldn’t be able to stay, but it still hurts nonetheless. New tears fall onto your cheeks and Sirius’s prisoner robes.

You cry less for yourself and more for him. Even though he’s successfully crawled his way out of Hell, he still can’t rest. Sirius hasn’t known peace in over a decade, and there’s no telling if he ever will again.

Sirius is the first to pull away. Trying to remain strong for your sake, he clenches his jaw as he looks down at your tearful face. He uses his thumbs to wipe the tears off your cheeks, then he pulls your face forward for a kiss. You waste no time reciprocating, your hands moving to the back of his head and tangling in his greasy hair.

Once again Sirius is the first to pull away, ending the kiss too soon for his liking, but knowing he needs to go. He’s been here far too long. He kisses your forehead. “I love you, and I love Estelle.”

“I love you, Sirius.” You reply, looking into his eyes. They’re the same eyes you see every time you look at your daughter.

“This isn’t goodbye.” He says kissing your forehead once more. He steps off your property and out of the confines of the anti-apparation wards. He gives you one last look, then winks. “You look absolutely stunning, by the way.”

You scoff, a stupid grin forming on your face as he disapperates.

You stare at the spot he left from, wiping your tears away.

Realistically, you don’t know if Sirius will be able to keep his promise. You may never see him again. There’s no telling if his name will ever be cleared, but you hold onto hope, and you will wait for him.

[stil-lindigo]

hook, line and sinker.

--

sequel to fishing twine. The end of the story of the fisherwoman and her sea monster girlfriend.

[galedekarios]

What do you think of their decision to make Gale a teacher in his good ending? Earlier in the game, he says his attempted students’ ineptitudes irked him. Do you think he’s made enough of a change to make a good professor?

thank you for your message, anon! 🖤

i'm of two minds about it:

i am going to be transparent here and say that i am a teacher myself. i studied, i did my teacher training, and i have been teaching for a good bit now - and some people are meant to be teachers, and some are not. it's one of those professions that you have to be born for, imo. it requires an immense amount of patience and perseverance, a certain intuition when it comes to your students, among many other things.

i have said before that i can see gale as a professor, but less so in a teaching position and more in a sort of research role.

so looking at this, i think what larian is trying to convey is that gale has settled into this new life he leads, that he's found his place in life. that he's finally worked to salvage that life instead of reaching for the stars.

he's content now, more than he's ever been before. he has returned to the home he missed so very much. he's spending his time surrounded with the people he loves. tara, morena, the player, his friends. and he's dedicated himself to the study of magic.

that feeling of being content, happiness and security and love, as well as the journey he's been on, too, may have quelled the things that caused him to feel so irked by his students prior to his journey, perhaps it has given him a new perspective on things, the low lows and high highs he experienced.

but i also think that larian does listen to community feedback - imo too much at times - and this was a intensely popular headcanon for gale.

i have taken a look for you at the files for the epilogue and the notes in it seem to echo my thoughts overall:

His default state is that he returned to Waterdeep and became a professor of Illusory magic at his former school, Blackstaff Academy. General vibe here is that this a Gale who's found peace with himself - he's a great teacher, one his students are mostly in awe of.

[glassofpumpkinjuice]

everybody else has said it much more eloquently already but i really have enjoyed losing it over fall out boy with you all so much. and i will definitely continue to do that. but this tour has really been magical and ily all of you

[rebka18]

Wow 8 years here(sheesh thank You all for tolerate me xD) 🥳

[ambrosiagourmet]

All your analysis are so smort... You do so much to improve my experience as a consumer of Dungeon Meshi/any media really and make me reconsider my relationship with my own writing

Ah wow, thank you!! Think about stories is cool I'm glad I can improve your experience of this one (& maybe even others!!) <3

[eggyrocks]

I hope you enjoy your break, Eggy. I had to backread a little to figure out what was going on, but I got the gist. Slightly (maybe a lot, I just woke up) upset for you because some people aren’t realizing that even if they think you’re being sensitive this is your work that you put time and effort into, not to mention that you’re writing because you love and want to. Of course, anything said about it, good or bad, will have an emotional response. Not everyone processes feelings the same way.

Anyways, I also wanted to let you know that I love everything that you write and I admire how fast you’re able to get things out. You deserve this break and to take time for yourself. <3

i really appreciate you saying this it means a lot to me 💖

[lovelycryptidnamedlucifer]

also i recommend drinking water if you’re feeling shaken after that… i genuinely hope what happens actually hurt you in any way /gen

i should be fine! some time cooling off and not thinking about it every second has been a lot of help

i did drink water about an hour or two earlier, and i've freshly hydrated

it was absolutely the excitement, and maybe looking at bright stuff for a while had something to do with it.. thank you so much for your concern, i really appreciate it ^^

[crazylittlejester]

Nah, you can't go out here saying you ain't an artist then drop one of the prettiest drawing of Wars I've done seen 🧍‍♂️. He's so pretty in your artstyle Jess!!!

I did NOT except that post to get the positive feedback it did 🧍‍♂️

I’m so glad you like it!! He deserves to be pretty

[ianthoni]

as someone who doesn’t ship rpf, i still like seeing ianthony stuff cross my dash just bc they’re cute besties. most of the time it’s done really respectfully and it’s also being done in a place where ian and anthony would never see it (unless they’re actively searching for it ig?) so go for it dude!!

No like i don't even ship ship them like they're trying to portray. I know Anthony has a girlfriend and Ian probably has a gf/bf somewhere. I don't think they're secretly dating I don't think they're in love. I just saw them as platonic besties/soulmates and i find their bond very beautiful.

I don't even consider this parasocial cause i'm not trying to show them my posts or trying to prove they're dating. That's not fuckin 2010 and they're not one direction members and im definitely not a l/rry lmao. I just post stuff that i find cute/ interesting because that's fandom. Fandom literally exists so we can love them and post stuff about them? Am I wrong?

[dressycobra7]

My assumption for your ask game - you’re beautiful 🩷

You can tell me if it’s true or false, but I’m already sure if the answer

AHHHHHHHHHHHH RRGFJFJDBSHSGXDC

😳 the blush I had on my face when I first read this omggggg I had to like put my phone down for a sec 😂 I wasn’t expecting that! This is so sweet Nonnyyyyy 😭😭😭

and uhhh personally I’d probably give myself like a 5 on most days, 7 if it’s a really good day so take that as u will. Umm I do show my face here on TikTok so I’ll let u be the judge

[thegoldenshi-shi]

An Art Update of Sorts

I don't normally do announcements, but I thought I would let everyone know what's going on in my little art world.

I'm working on something tiny (emphasis on tiny) to put up for sale on my Ko-fi page, and on a few original comic projects also to go up for sale. When the comics will come out is up in the air, because...you know...life happens...but I really want to get them up and share them with you all sometime in 2024.

The big thing right now is that I'm currently wrapped up in a large Calligraphy/Watercolor project that may take me a while to get finished. I have never done a large Fraktur before, and this one is cover 200 years worth of names in a family-tree style layout. It's gonna be BIG and DETAILED, which is exciting, but also makes my hand hurt to think too much about. Fraktur is also an old style, so I really want to take my time with it and do it justice.

Fanart is slow coming as a result of all my projects (every time I look at my lack of Transformers I cringe a little), but I just don't have the time to work on everything at once. I'm going to keep drawing fanart, don't get me wrong, but I just wanted to tell you all that my slow slow updating probably won't get any better for the next few weeks.

Thank you all so much for your patience with me, my ask box is still very much open and I will always try and get back to you in a timely fashion.

[chibishortdeath]

Your art inspires me so much. Thank you for sharing your incredible work!

Thank you!!!! These kinds of messages really do motivate me to keep doing stuff, I appreciate this a lot (*´꒳`*)♡

A rare kinda smiling Simon for u :3 (he’s not used to it, so he’s a little embarrassed)

[pardonmydelays]

✨💖Positivity chain! List 5 to 10 things that make you smile and explain why! Then send this to others to let them know they make you smile✨💖

this is so sweet and i just wish i knew who sent me this. ok, i have a little crisis here today, so i'll just try to use this ask as a distraction:

my mutuals - it's funny because everytime i'm here i feel like i am just hanging out with all of you. you are like family to me. you make me smile and laugh and i know i make you laugh sometimes and it's just so awesome to know that there are people who genuinely care even if we all live so far away from each other. ily guys.

coffee - i just always have to start my day with coffee and it's not because it's easier for me to wake up this way (idk if it even still works at this point because i drink so much coffee i can literally just drink it at midnight and still go to sleep), I JUST LOVE THE TASTE. i am an addict, definitely.

twenty one pilots - i know you guys are probably so sick of me because i just talk about them all the time, but they truly make me so so so happy, it's not funny. i see a picture of those two idiots and my brain goes JFBEJHWBFHEBKJ. so, i'm not sorry and this will happen again. LET ME TALK ABOUT THEM LET ME SCREAM I WANNA TALK ABOUT THEM DUBEIBINEMFKEKOMIN

music - like music in general. idk. i open my eyes and i just play music immediately, i can't stand sitting in silence (sometimes quiet is violent), i can stand being alone with my own thoughts, i need music 24/7 so i don't have to listen to the voices in my head. idk. i recently discovered that after 12h at work i'm mostly exhausted because i can't listen to the music when i'm there. ugh. life sucks.

idk nothing else makes me happy these days i'm sorry. but i tried!

[poisonous-transmissions]

I'm sure-! It's quite alright to complain- it's your blog, after all... However, that being said, I await eagerly to see what else you'll post ☺️

(P.S. I lurk quite a bit, as well. You and I are very similar on that front.)

thanks. ill try not to dissapoint then,,

[madame-mongoose]

I can only send 10 images per ask unfortunately, so hopefully this helps!

Ah,,, thank you so much that means a lot to me. I really appreciate you 💖, thank you for considering me as a friend