#I appreciate Leona trying to steer him in a better direction while also being tough andreal about it

[oddberryshortcake]

Jamil Viper and his Inferiority/Superiority Complex

Chapter 6 provided a deep dive into Jamil’s psyche with an outsider’s perspective on it (being Leona’s) and there’s so much I can say about it, because now that Jamil’s issues are being seen outside of his internal dialogue, there’s a lot of deep-seated complexes and trauma that makes him act the way he does, and all the while Leona is losing his patience while also trying to give him good advice and tough love.

Jamil switches between having an inferiority and superiority complex once he’s put in a life-threatening situation with someone stronger and smarter than him. 

All throughout Jamil’s life, since childhood, since he was born, he was meant to be the capable one. He was the smartest, he was the most skilled, he was meant to protect Kalim. 

The adults in his life trusted him to protect and die for Kalim, and despite being miserable in his situation, he got satisfaction from being a more capable magician than Kalim. Somewhere, deep inside, he enjoyed the fact that he was viewed as intelligent, strong, and talented, even if it was always overshadowed.

 He was so used to being the most capable person that when he tried to do his ‘protecting important person’ act to Leona, he was blindsided by the fact that Leona is incredibly capable and even stronger than him.

Leona didn’t need him for protection, Leona didn’t need him for anything. It was Leona who was covering for Jamil, who protected him when Jamil was injured and being pursued by phantoms, Leona was the one who lifted and used the thunder spear. 

Jamil’s perceptions of himself were shattered. What gave him worth in the eyes of the adults in his life no longer mattered. What gave him confidence in his abilities and a feeling of misunderstood talent and superiority didn’t matter. 

Jamil doesn’t know how to be the one who is protected, who is weaker, who is not the ‘smartest person in the room’ that he usually believes he is. He feels like he rather risk his life alone than be a burden, his repression starts showing itself more obviously, and his self-esteem drops down hard.

So as they traveled through Styx, Jamil flip-flopped between being deeply insecure and still thinking he knows best. Leona trying to redirect him into accepting help, taking a rest, not looking down on people who utilize their skills, and acknowledging the skills Kalim has that he doesn’t end up eventually pushing Jamil to allow Leona to help him, but it isn’t without Jamil wanting to endanger his life because that’s all he knew. 

Leona pointing out his superiority complex unraveled the inferiority complex underneath. If he isn’t the strongest and smartest, then who is he? He wants to be separated from Kalim, but who is he if he’s next to someone who is more skilled than him? Who is he if he isn’t the strong one, walking into danger to protect someone else, utilizing his unrecognized talents to the fullest? 

At the end of the day, Jamil finally allows Kalim to help him with something. It isn’t a lot, just grabbing some tableware, but it’s infinitely better than him doing everything by himself, stressing but relishing in being the only person he can rely on. 

His arrogance is a clutch, something he developed and clung to that kept him mentally separated from his peers. Leona poked holes through that perception of Jamil’s self, now he’s faced with knowing that he isn’t some misunderstood genius, that he’s smart but he still has a long way to go, and he’s holding himself back by not accepting his faults or any help. 

His childhood of being a bodyguard, of being expected to give all of his well-deserved victories away, of being expected to risk his life and die to protect someone else formed this perception of himself being the only person he can rely on in him. 

Having it shattered unearthed just how much of himself was reliant on the conditions he grew up in, and how he has so much more room to grow and change if he’d allow himself to.