#I am worried but also delighted because i fear and love drama equally | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

indecisivemessatyourservice · 7 years ago

Photo

One of the things that I vividly remember about Jaisalmar is how desperate all five of us were to go there, excluding me maybe. I look back and kind of assume that something was not right with either of us in that phase. Nanu (Niharika Gogoi) was clearly struggling with mood swings each day, Sakhi (Pranami) was figuring out her life and decisions for future to an extent that she was kinda beginning to puncture her self confidence. The boys, again, I have no clue about but they did want a break from Delhi clearly.

For me, I remember feeling like I needed some amount of solitude to figure out what was happening around me, because I was of the opinion that people were moving ahead of me. Everyone I know was either dating, seeing someone or working on some great projects, and I kind of felt left out. Not in a way to question my worth, but enough to feel horribly lonely. So lonely that I thought I needed just my earphones and an empty room with a cosy bed. I re-read words and misinterpreted expressions to assume strongly that I was putting my weight around on other people’s matters. When you’re low, you potentially think worse and pull yourself down further. I was beginning to do that.

Jaisalmar did not seem like an attractive trip for me. Also, after I turned down Shree’s request to goto Shimla, which I was actually looking forward to, I felt it would be betrayal to go off with them. Especially since I told her my father would not allow, which he actually won’t. I remember for the longest time, I gave absolutely no opinion about the plans; even when the group was made, even after the itinerary was planned, even after the accomodation was sorted. When it came to the tickets, that’s when I freaked out.

When it comes to excuses, I can make some very decent ones very convincingly. But what I have learnt about myself is that when I am not convincing enough, it clearly means that there is a part of me that wants to do as I am told. And the next part is downhill, cause I realise I really cannot put up a fight with myself, not when I want it myself. So I end up caving in, doing or going where I was asked very half-heartedly.

Chinmoy kind of dropped an emotional bomb on me saying he won’t go if I don’t, which was stupid of me to yield to. But again, gestures, however, superficial they maybe, are always a weak point in my case. I put up so much to people, that when they reciprocate with the same polite manner I embarassingly drop my guard. It was stupid, but it meant a lot that Chinu would change plans as per my decisions, however untrue or true it might have been.

So we went, all five of us, for the first time together. For Sakhi, this was her first trip ever. For me, it was the first trip with either of them. The thing about journeys are that you get to know a lot more about the people you go with rather than the places. So I stay observant to my companions, carefully taking into account all that they do. It always is interesting, when it is not annoying. And I always expect catfights or dramas in a trip with first timers. Pleasantly, there were none this time.

Of course I have pictures to show how beautiful and vibrant the city was, how well accommodated we were, how much fun we had and how charming the landscape and equally gorgeous the sunsets were.

What physical proof I do not have with me is the feel of it all. I went with four people I knew (well, almost) and loved inside out, joined our hosts about whom I knew nothing, to a place I have only heard of but not enough to expect something grand out of it. The curious mix of familiarty with the unknowing, in a setting that automatically recreates itself to beautiful standards in different hours of the day was what made Jaisalmar what it was, in my memory.

Jaisalmar, in its aesthetically ancient forts, in its dry roads, in its colourful clothing, in its serene sunsets, in its sharp edges of the dunes and in the comfort of its own grandeur was what we needed. At least at that point of time.

When we had walked across a field of an apparent haunted town Kuldhara, on an impulsive visit one night, we had all looked up at the sky. For a moment the nagging fear of seeing a ghost or anything supernatural had collectively subsided. The sky was glorious, every single star stood apart and glowed like fireflies at arms reach. The barren field gave for a most open, panaromic view of the night sky that was begging to be touched. Our mouths hung open at the beauty and we could not help gasping in delight. I remember being embarassingly gleeful, reaching out to Chinmoy and Nabarun on either side, and hopping along with them to the rest of the deserted, scary looking town. The fact that was 3 am in the morning did not bother us much. At some point, Nanu, Sakhi and I were even laughing hysterically on some excuse, clearly creeping out the already uncomfortable men.

Also, Piyush was an amazing host. He was sweet, kind and always ready to go out of his way to keep us comfortable. Staying at the Army Cantonment could have been so much more intimidating but it was the most hospitable stay we could have asked for. I took my time warming up to him, he was the only one in the group I knew nothing about back then. But once I did, I was all praises.

The incessant laughter between us girls as we planned out the day’s outfits, the annoying (oh god) nagging Sakhi and I were subjected from Nabarun, the nagging we directed towards Chinmoy ourselves, the constant bickering between Nabarun and Sakhi, Nanu’s successful attempts at pocking Chinu until he screamed at her or my embarassing table manners during dinner.

It is like I am trying so hard to grasp at what is left of the trip. Like when, while Amit Trivedi sang ‘Zinda’ from the player and we stared open mouthed at a herd of large, majestic camels that crossed the road, a few inches from the car we were in. Or when we raced across the Sand dunes on camelbacks with Me screaming my lungs out or Sakhi coming close to tears. When Nanu and I sat on the edge of the boat in the Gadsisar Sagar lake, almost close to sunset, and we breathed in the serenity while agreeing that we were at the right place at the right time. Or maybe when we sat atop the Jaisalmar fort with Piyush and a few other officers, and took in the view of the entire beautiful city at midnight, blessing whatever it is that allowed this trip to happen.

I think about how my father was against all outstation trips that semester, he felt I have had enough of that and should be focusing on my entrances. I remember my first day at Jaiselmar, all worried about his reaction when he gets to know I went away with them without letting him know. He does not take disobedience lightly and he frets and frets until I lose my mind. But most significantly, I remember letting him know casually that I was in Jaisalmar with the four of them, and him, after an initial minute of surprise, saying, “Okay. Have fun then, you three girls needed this anyway.” I still think about how right he was.

I saw my four friends differently from that period of happiness, I saw myself differently since that trip and I saw places and moments and emotions differently since the time we got back. I kept telling them that I needed to write this down, to record every infinite feeling I was going through at that point of time. Most of it is lost and gone with the few months that stand between the day we returned and today.

Which is why this was necessary, writing it all down here. Life since then had taken leaps and bounds. We all are separated by work and circumstances right now, but are somehow managing to catch up with each other’s lives. Things are changing so fast but, bless me, unlike before, I have started to learn how to cope with the speed of it all.

But even today, if I can go back and sit on that boat and watch the sunset from that lake, with these four annoying people and Piyush again, I will. Very happily and very readily. Knowing that such a thing cannot happen, I can only continue to reminisce and fondly treasure the memories of it.

Thank you Jaisalmar. ❤️

In pictures, from top right, Sunset at Sand Dunes, a half view of the city fort from the main road, Nanu at Gadsisar Sagar Lake, and the City Fort at night

#trip #friends #india #travelogue #blogging #sand dunes #rajasthan #jaisalmer #jaisalmer fort #lyimee saikia

6 notes · View notes

cuckoomagazine · 8 years ago

Photo

The ultimate eyelash experience at Hush Lash Lounge

by Maeve Kelly

Anyone that knows me will testify that mascara is what my make-up DNA is made of. Braving the world bare faced has never instilled much fear but to face the masses without mascara would, for me, be nothing short of madness. Mascara injects life into my lashes and I feel it freshens my entire complexion. As a mascara maniac though, I lash laughable amounts of the stuff on every single day; not such a joyous experience come night-time when I’m faced with at least ten minutes of mascara only removal. Unsurprisingly then, the concept of lash extensions had for months enticed my curiosity. Fluffy, voluminous lashes every day without the heartache of eye pokes, smudging, streaming and everything else that comes with daily mascara wearing. However, if I’m honest, It seemed a little too good to be true. Having teetered on the edge for months and conducted tiresome amounts of research, Hush Lash Lounge, Naas Co. Kildare continuously came out on top. From my trusted beautician to my best friends, everyone recommended Rachel in Hush Lash Lounge, should I make the leap from mascara to Mink lash extensions. And as though it was fate, I was lucky enough to receive a voucher for Hush Lash Lounge which entitled me to one complimentary treatment. Although the ladies also do amazing brow work, within seconds of receiving the voucher I was sold on a set of Mink eyelash extensions. With an upcoming family wedding I knew this was the perfect opportunity to test try what for months had mesmerised me.

As a complete rookie to the world of eyelash extensions I had no idea what to expect. From the moment I arrived though, the beautiful Mel made me feel completely relaxed. She talked me through the whole experience and abated any concerns that I had. One such worry was the fear for my natural lashes; would the extensions ultimately damage them or worse, make them fall out? Mel was a true professional though and listened first to my anxieties before assuring me that she would measure the length of my natural lashes to ensure that nothing too heavy, long, or ill-fitting would be applied. She then enlightened me that it’s only when a lash that weighs your natural lash down is applied that damage can occur.

With my worries washed away I lay down onto the incredibly cosy treatment bed as Mel began to measure the length of my natural lashes. As this was my first trip, we both decided that the Mink lashes would be the most natural option. The Mink lashes are made up of ultra- fine and fluffy individual lashes that are adhered to every single natural lash. For some soft drama, you can opt to have a couple of lashes applied to the outer eyelashes, something I’m so glad I decided to go for. A full set of Minks costs just €100, not at all costly when you consider the amount of time saved on applying and removing mascara. The lashes can be refilled every 3-4 weeks or even longer, depending on the growth of your natural lashes, for €50. Full disclosure I feel is fitting here; I fell so in love with my lashes that I’ve already booked in for my refill! I really feel that €50 is such a small price to pay for weeks of perfectly curled, party ready lashes, every day!

The ladies at Hush Lash lounge also offer, Russian Volume Lashes, a fuller, more dramatic look that involves the application of several individual lashes to each natural eyelash. Closer in effect to the traditional strip lashes, these are certainly not for the faint hearted but equally as fabulous all the same. Although I was tempted, on Mel’s advice I decided for the Mink lashes given that it was my first time. Also, as someone who favours the no-make up look, certainly during the working week, we both felt that the Mink lashes, with their gentle separation and natural fluffiness would complement my low maintenance look.

Before and after shot of Russian Mega Volume lashes at Hush Lash Lounge

The entire process, because it was my first application, took two hours. Honestly though, I barely felt the time pass as myself and Mel chatted the evening away. Mel was a true professional and kept me informed of the process all the way through, whilst also chatting comfortably and casually with me the entire duration. As clichéd as it sounds, from the moment I lay down, I felt in the company of a friend. She began by applying a collagen pad underneath my eyes. This served a genius dual purpose of firstly sealing away my bottom lashes but also creating a comforting experience for my tired under-eyes. Next, Mel applied a primer to the lashes before proceeding with painstakingly applying each of the made-to-measure Minks to every single one of my lashes. What surprised me a little, I must admit, was that there was no scent from the glue. In fact, I couldn’t feel, smell or even detect its presence, something that made the experience even more enjoyable. Mel had advised that we stick to the same length as my natural lashes, again to keep to things a little more subtle for my first application. The result I can really say I was so delighted with.

The after-care was something I was a little apprehensive about but, in short, there really is nothing to it. The only major no-no is water within the first 24 hours of application. Happy enough to remove the day with my trusty bottle of micellar water though, this posed absolutely no problem for me. The entirety of the rest of the after-care involves just a simple combing through of the lashes every morning and evening to keep them fluffy and full. Mel even provided me with the brush and suggested that Simple face wipes were the best allay for removing eye-makeup. She also advised that I would be best place to avoid oil based eye-makeup products to make the lashes last, a very easy task given the vast array of oil free products available.

Maeve’s lashes after the treatment at Hush Lash Lounge

I’m currently on day five and still completely infatuated with my lashes. I’m washing my hair, face and body as normal and going about my make-up and skin care routine as I would every other day, something Mel absolutely advised. Not only am I chuffed with the many minutes I save every morning, I know I’ll never get sick of the perfectly curled, voluminous and beautifully separated lashes that I see in the mirror every day. In short, I’m hooked and Hush Lash lounge will now become a regular part of my beauty routine. If this post as been enough to convince you then make sure to make your appointment as soon as possible; these ladies fill up fast. For more information check out their website: http://www.hushlashlounge.ie/ or Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/HushLashLounge/

Thanks to both Rachel and Mel at Hush Lash Lounge for the best lash experience ever!

#hushlashlounge #cuckoomagazine #lashes #treatment #beatuy

1 note · View note

mredlich21 · 8 years ago

Text

As I am sure many of you know, the two big hit Pakistani soap operas, Humsafar and Zindagi Gulzar Hai, were just added to Netflix. They’ve been available through other less-good sources (ErosNow, youtube) for a while, plus of course their original broadcast, so there is a good chance some of you are ahead of me in watching them. Anyway, since enough people are seeing them now, and especially because Mahira Khan starred in Humsafar and is about to star in Raees, I am putting out a review/summary of the episodes in 3 parts, starting with the first 8. There will be a little bit of non-spoiler to start if you want to decide if the show is for you before reading on.

I had been told many times by many people that what makes Pakistani soaps different (and better) than Indian soaps, or American, is that they are planned in advance for a limited run, the whole story planned out with a beginning middle and end. The other thing I discovered through various articles I read was that Pakistani TV, rather than being the place for people who “aren’t good enough for movies”, is the place for people who are too good for them. The best actors and, more importantly, the best writers all work in television. And finally, I had been told that the reason the Indian audience and the Pakistani audience eats up these shows is that the heroines in particular are allowed to be more outspoken, more powerful, more independent, and more important to the story than they are in any other medium. It is the women that you fall in love with, and the story that feels more like “your story” as a woman trying to make it in the world than anything you can find anywhere else.

(Mahira Khan, who is definitely the most important person in this story, not her husband and co-lead)

Some of this is the same as the appeal of soap operas worldwide. They are havens for female storytelling. Based on relationships, family, the home. With strong heroines who survive against all odds, and men who just stand there and look pretty. But often these soaps keep the heroine too tied to the home, making it appear that she has no other way of interacting with the world. They may also make her a little too enduring, as though the female ideal is someone who will passively succumb to every situation. And, as the episodes crank on and on, they can also make her seem like someone who is a bit too dramatic, too quick to fall in love over and over again, too willing to believe villains and get herself into dangerous situations, and so on and so on.

But, Humsafar, this is something different! It reminds me most of all of BBC miniseries. Downton Abbey, Upstairs Downstairs, and the many many versions of classic novels. Great story that was planned start to finish, great cast, and most of all great characters, characters who are “evil” and “good”, of course, that is a staple of soap operas, but who also have understandable motivations and feelings and react like real human beings to situations, not like machines for drama production.

Okay, that’s all the stuff for people wondering if they should actually watch this show, time to get into the first 8 episodes and SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

The show starts sloooooooooooow. I watched, or half watched, about 3 and a half episodes and it just wasn’t drawing me in. But then in episode 4, suddenly things start clicking along. And then it slowed down slightly again around 8 and 9, picked up again, slowed at 13 and 14, and so on.

This is just the pacing for the show, it wants to take the time to let us fully understand the characters and what they are going through before kicking the situation into gear. And with a set plan of 23 episodes, there are multiple situations it has to start, end, and then restart.

The first episode is focused on making sure we understand all of the family relationships and situation. Ashar (Fawad Khan) is rich and lives in Karachi with his mother Fareeda and his father Baseerat. Khirad (Mahira Khan) is middle-class and lives in Hyderabad (NOT the Indian city as I originally thought, but a city in Pakistan with the same name) with her widowed mother Maimoona. Maimoona is Baseerat’s sister, but they have grown apart as their lives became so different in adulthood. Khirad is frustrated with her uncle and the way her mother always defends him, saying that the two of them can survive fine without him and there is no need to call him and try to maintain the relationship.

Meanwhile, Fareeda is also frustrated with this closeness, worried that Maimoona will someday ask Baseerat for something which Fareeda doesn’t want him to give. From the start, the two women are set up as opposites to each other. Khirad so proud that she doesn’t want to take anything from anyone. Fareeda is so proud that she doesn’t want to give anything to anyone. And both of them are frustrated by this relationship between brother and sister which promises to turn into charity at some point.

(See how they both have doubt faces about this brother-sister relationship?)

But both women are powerless. At this point, it is a story between brother and sister. Maimoona discovers she is ill and decides to call her brother for help without consulting with her daughter. Baseerat decides to immediately travel and bring his sister and niece back to his house without consulting with his wife. And then, when Maimoona expresses concerns over her daughter’s future, Baseerat decides to marry Khirad to his son Ashar without consulting either child or his wife.

It is in the second episode that the younger generation begins to come into focus. And this was also where the big “different” part of the plot came up, the part that wouldn’t be that different if it were an Indian film, that they are being forced into marriage with someone they barely know and with whom they have nothing in common.

I was fascinated with how this part of the story was shown. For one thing, it matches much more closely to my understanding of arranged marriage in the modern age among the upper educated classes. It’s not “daughter, I declare you shall marry this man!”, but rather “daughter, what do you think, would you like to marry this man? If not, tell me, no problem, we will find someone else.” More often it isn’t an arrangement between strangers brought together by their families, but between long term acquaintances who seem compatible and get along well. And if it is between strangers, they are giving loads of time to get to know each other and get along during the engagement period.

But you don’t see this version as much in Indian films. The arranged engagement is an impediment on the course of true love, it is something your evil father is forcing on you. Or, alternatively, it is the exciting start of true love, the first meeting, the first night, etc. etc. Really, what we get here! Only in Indian films, this version is treated as normal and expected. Whereas in this serial, the idea of two strangers marrying is (more accurately) treated as exciting and unusual among this class.

(This is essentially the same as what we get in Humsafar, only the marriage didn’t have any elaborate explanation for why it had to be so sudden or between strangers, that’s just how things worked out. Society wasn’t that fascinated with it as a curiosity)

Baseerat has offered his son in marriage to his niece, but he still asks his son to agree to this. In the same way, Maimoona is touched by the offer and delighted at the thought, but asks permission from her daughter as well. The older generation fully supports this idea, but it is taken as a matter of course that nothing can happen without the agreement of the younger generation.

And, although it wasn’t immediately apparent, this decision on the part of the older generation is the ending and resolution of the brother-sister conflict which started the show. Baseerat has ended his guilt over the distance he made between himself and his sister by spontaneously offering the best thing he can give her. And Maimoona has found comfort in death and confirmation of her view of the world through her brother’s kindness. Done, finished, no more emotional depth or progress to be earned from them! Time to move on.

And so in episode 2 we begin to learn more and more about Fawad and the forces around him. Fawad is a nice decent young man who cares for his father and mother. His small dream for his life was to marry a woman that could be a true companion to him, that could share in his interests, his struggles, his life completely. I may be reading a bit much into this, but it reminds me a little of Elizabeth Bennet and her parents. Pride and Prejudice starts with a blunt and hard look at the failure of Elizabeth’s parents’ marriage. It takes Elizabeth herself pages and pages and pages to finally admit that her family is less than perfect and her parents’ marriage has problems. But, if you choose to interpret it that way, you can see in the way Elizabeth and Jane both approach marriage a sense of caution and care that might be a reflection of their fears coming from observing how a poor marriage, not a disastrous one but a poor one, can forever affect one’s life. Is it possible that the slight strains and tensions we are seeing between Fawad’s parents are the reason that he dreams of a different kind of marriage, one between compatible equals?

(BBC gets it. That’s why we end with a wedding ceremony in which all the failed or flawed couples are gathered around to watch)

Because Ashar dreams of this kind of marriage, he is blind to the plans that are already in motion to marry him off. Not to Khirad but to Sara, his maternal cousin. Farida his mother, and Zarina his aunt, along with Sara herself, all take this as a given. That naturally the two cousins, life long best friends with everything in common, will make a match. But this isn’t even a consideration for Ashar while he considers his father’s request for him to marry Khirad. He is stunned when Sara confesses her feelings to him, and sympathetic to her as his friend, but clear that such an idea never occurred to him and he has no particular desire to marry her or return her feelings now that she has brought it up. No, Ashar’s internal debate is only between whether he can give up his little dreams for a different kind of marriage in order to please his father by marrying this woman he doesn’t know.

Khirad’s debate is also internal and against herself. She resists taking a marriage in charity, giving up her pride and living forever as a grateful poor relation in this household. Especially as she has overheard Ashar talking to a friend and knows he is resistant to marrying someone so different from himself.

These essential conflicts are what will arise again and again between them. Ashar feels that he is married to a stranger, he is never sure what she will do or think in a particular situation, and is never positive that his view of her is correct. And Khirad never feels fully confident in her place, is never willing to defend herself, to speak up on her own behalf, because she feels she has no right to do so.

The 3rd young person to spring to life and focus in this episode is Sara, Khirad’s cousin. She is a different kind of personality and person than Khirad, an interesting contrast if this is what Ashar is used to from the woman he knows best. She is seemingly straight-forward, blunt even. She confidently tells Ashar what she wants from him, if it is attending a party together or meeting for coffee or anything else. She is never hesitant or shy, she is always happy to take the lead in their conversations. And, of course, she is also dressed in modern clothing, a career woman with blue jeans and knit tops and so on. And, when she confesses her feelings to Ashar, you feel for her. She has spent her life thinking this was understood, that a certain plan would happen. And Ashar has always thought of her as “just a friend”, someone who could take care of herself and had no feelings to hide or which could be hurt.

Although the overall focus of the episode is on the younger generation, it is still the older generation that is actually DOING things. Which is why this particular episode felt so boring to me. All this time getting to care about people who don’t actually turn out to have any effect on the plot. Khirad’s mother tells her to bury her ego and learn to be happy in this marriage, because her mother knows it will be best in the long run. Ashar, rather than confronting his father directly, ends up having his doubts expressed through his mother instead. Baseerat and Farida have a knock down drag out fight in which she insists she is fighting for her son’s happiness and he is being sold off to placate Baseerat’s guilt over his ignoring his sister, and Baseerat doesn’t really address any of her concerns, instead threatening her with divorce if she in any way shows unhappiness with this match. And meanwhile, Ashar is won over at the end, after initially attempting to argue that Khirad could be as happy or even happier with a different groom, especially as he does not want the match, he has to give in when his father begs him simply because this is the match that would make Khirad’s dying mother the happiest.

What I find interesting her is that both the parents and children are correct in this episode. Baseerat really is making an impulsive decision with no consideration of his son’s happiness, only of giving peace of mind to his sister. And Khirad’s mother is miss-reading the household, eager to believe that this relationship will give permanent happiness to her daughter instead of acknowledging the clear flaws in it. And Ashar doesn’t feel the kind of comfort and understanding for his future wife that he should have, and she doesn’t have the confidence in his life and his family that she should.

But, on the other hand, Baseerat is right to have faith in the essential kindness and goodness of his son which will make him an excellent husband once he makes the commitment. And Maimoone is right that her daughter can find great happiness in this household if she learns to set aside her pride and open herself up to it.

But, still, boring! Interesting, sure, coming to understand all these dynamics and different people, but let’s have something happen already!!!

And then in episode 3, EVERYTHING HAPPENS!!!! And nothing. At least, nothing in terms of the relationship development. Just a bunch of big events to move things forward. Sara tries to kill herself after learning that the engagement was confirmed and Ashar agreed. While Ashar is in the hospital with her, he gets a call that his aunt is dying and has to rush home and marry Khirad immediately so her mother can witness it. And before Ashar can really process all of this stuff that has suddenly been thrown at him, his aunt dies too.

I guess the only relationship movement in this episode is that EVERYTHING HAPPENS all at once which kind of makes all of the relationships have no time to fully reset themselves. Khirad has no time to think about her marriage to this stranger, and Ashar has no time to think about this revelation that his best friend is suicidally in love with him. Worst of all, he has no time to talk with Sara about her actions, to learn that they came about through confidence she was given by his mother and aunt that some day they would be together. And to clarify once and for all that he is sad for her as a friend, but does not feel this way about her. The line that stuck with me particularly is when he was in the midst of explaining how sorry he was for how upset she felt over his marriage and said “I wish I could marry you.” Definitely something you need to explain a little further! Add on “because I realize that you are willing to kill yourself over this and I don’t want to cause your death, not because I actually feel anything like that for you.”

(Notice how Shahrukh is superior to Fawad in this way, being careful to never promise Karisma any more than he can reasonably give)

And then we enter episode 4 and it all slows down and hits into the track it will keep on for the next 5 episodes. Khirad and Ashar are married, but still strangers. Ashar’s parents have made up, Baseerat apologized for his threat and asked for his wife help in welcoming their new daughter-in-law in her new position. And Sara is home from the hospital and delightfully wonderfully NUTS. No more kind of boring conversations in coffee shops to help explain relationships, instead it’s a lot of secret eye rolls and evil smiles and eyebrow raises and so on. And, of course, she has sworn to break up the marriage.

And now we hit a nice rhythm. For episode 4-8, the lines are clearly drawn. Sara is trying to break up Khirad and Ashar. Farida and Baseerat are trying to make Khirad feel more at home in their home. And Ashar ping pongs between the two. While Khirad is caught up entirely with her grief and later with her husband.

At first Sara appears to be winning, encouraging Ashar to come out drinking with her, getting him to admit his disappointment in his marriage and his wife. These scenes must have been such a treat for the actress, she is saying all the right things, but in such a way to undermine Ashar’s confidence in his marriage. And she gets to give these great eeeeeeeeeevil reaction shots to the camera. But they also kind of make Ashar look weak, that he is falling for this, that he has so quickly forgotten her professed love for him, that he has so little sympathy for his new wife.

But then, on the other hand, once he finally does straighten up and fly right starting with the end of episode 4, it is so much more powerful because he isn’t just being a good son and blindly following what his parents tell him to do. It feels like he worked through some stuff and kind of got there on his own a little.

Khirad, on the other hand, remains a bit of an enigma as to how she came to care for her husband. Well, Fawad is super cute, I am sure that is part of it. But she is such a quiet woman, when he flirts and compliments, she can only look down and murmur that she is nervous. This is what intrigues him, that she is so different from the other women he has known. That he can never be quite sure where he is with her. While Khirad struggles to accept all the kindness she is being given, to trust it and to believe that she deserves it.

I love how Khirad’s character is drawn with this struggle. It’s not that she has low self-esteem and doesn’t believe in herself, it’s that she believes in herself too much. She has always worked hard and proved herself on her own. Our introduction to her back in the first episode was dusting their small apartment and helping her mother give tuitions to earn money. A woman who has always worked and made her own way would naturally feel unsure when suddenly her only responsibility is to get ice cream with her father-in-law and bring tea to her mother-in-law. And what can she give her husband in return for all the love and support he has given her?

In the first 3 episodes, Khirad and Ashar had almost no scenes together. But in the next 5, almost all of Khirad’s scenes are with Ashar alone. Partly because HE’S SWOONY, and their love scenes are the best! But also to make the audience feel how completely he has become her world. She lives for when he comes home at night, when he drives her to school in the morning, when he surprises her at lunch time. Later episodes talk about how she doesn’t even eat unless he is there, and it doesn’t feel surprising based on what we have seen already.

Their bond grows and grows slowly over the episodes, as we see how Ashar has become completely besotted with his new wife, delighting in every new discovery he makes about her, from how beautiful she looks in party clothes, to how easily she interacts with his friends, to her educational background (gifted in maths!) to her belief in honesty when she shamefully admits her culpability in a small household matter. But Khirad, meanwhile, is still cautious in how much she admits her feelings, at this point the showrunners suddenly introduce an old friend to talk with her and an email voice over technique because otherwise we would have no idea what she was thinking. And we learn that her focus is on improving herself, making herself “worthy” of her new higher class husband, she she feels she has earned his love. And, possibly, this explains why she has not expressed her own feelings, either because she does not feel she is worthy of saying it yet or because she feels she is so lower than him and he so obviously higher that her emotions should be obvious.

And now we enter a new phase. Episode 8, Khirad is calling Farida “Mummy”, Ashar and Khirad are happily sharing a bed and making eyes at each other, Baseerat is delighted with how his plans have worked out. But then two changes happen. First, with Ashar’s encouragement, Khirad signs up for the advanced studies she had planned before her mother’s death at the local university. And Baseerat dies. Suddenly, the strongest supporter they had at home has left them and Ashar is adrift. And Khirad’s world is expanding outside of her husband.

Things Are Not Hunky-Dory: Humsafar Review/Summary Part 1, Episodes 1-8 As I am sure many of you know, the two big hit Pakistani soap operas, Humsafar…

#Humsafar #Mahira Khan #Pakistani soap opera #Spoilers #Summary

8 notes · View notes