#I am watching a show. Might even try and go back to the paper timetable instead of the offline app

[bowithoutadaemon]

Bus journey is halfway over, just an hour more until I arrive at the festival grounds.

My luggage was no problem, the bus driver just made a joke that my carry on bag was bigger than the baby the previous person was carrying. But since I was let on the bus with all luggage I really don't give a shit about jokes/quips.

I am trying really hard to remember how to exactly to put up the tent. Which parts do I need another person for? How could I try to do them on my own? What words to use to ask a random person for help if I can't figure it out or it's simply impossible to do alone.

And where exactly do I want to set up our camp? Two of the spots to get water at are not on the map this year. So my usual spots are both fairly far away from drinking water. I could walk around with all my luggage to go visibly check if the tap is there or not. But my luggage is heavy and it's really warm. I could just put it down somewhere and walk around without it. But for some strange logic that feels bad unless it's inside a tent.

[kotosnoozy]

a rite of passage

Unbeknown to both the general public and applicants alike, Saotome Academy’s S Class has an interesting unofficial tradition for the first day of school.

[DO NOT tag this with ship tags other than RinRyuu]

It's 11am when Mr Hyuuga first checks his watch.

Syo can't imagine anyone else notices - he wouldn't have if it were anyone else, it being such a small action and all. But sitting in this classroom with this teacher has been his dream for as long as he can remember, so now that he's finally here he can't help but be a little overzealous in taking everything in.

The morning's been chock full of introductory protocol - several lists of rules and regulations, a campus tour with the other class and the president of the agency, and a myriad of horrendously awkward ice-breaking activities. Throughout it all, Mr Hyuuga has been single-minded in his behaviour, keen to drill into all of them through his own actions that he won’t suffer tardiness, slacking or inattention.

Until this slight contradiction, anyway.

Syo thinks to treasure the moment - Ryuuya Hyuuga is a beacon of perfection in his mind, a marble Adonis brought to life, flawless in all his stalwart, brawny glory. To see him display even the slightest disregard to his own personal ethos is a rare reminder that he isn’t a god brought to earth, but a normal human being. A true fan knows they should appreciate their hero for all of their aspects, flaws and all, and so he takes the gesture in with a flicker of a smile and nothing more.

The second time it happens, merely 2 minutes later, it’s as Mr Hyuuga starts to worry his lip. When his brows furrow (further than their semi-permanent scowl, that is) Syo starts to suspect that it isn’t an endearing character flaw at all, so much as something isn’t running according to plan.

What, however, is impossible to say.

Mr Hyuuga has been on the ball with everything. Required textbooks, intranet logins and study guides have all been provided, desks have been triple checked for anything that might remain of the previous S Class. He’s even gone so far as to make sure they all have an alarm clock, or at least an app on their phones with a similar function, so there’s as small a chance as possible that they’ll be late. The entire morning has run like a well-oiled machine, exception being the human-spanner-in-the-works, President Saotome himself, but even he seemed to avoid letting his antics run on too long for fear of Mr Hyuuga’s wrath.

Syo can’t help but let his eyes dart around the room for what might be perturbing him. The desks are orderly, no bags falling in the aisle, not a uniform out of place--

Other than, of course, that of Ren Jinguji a row or two back. His tie hangs loose around his neck, and he sprawls in his chair lithely, elegant in his feigned nonchalance. All that gives away his lackadaisy as a farce are the buttons of his shirt, popped to expose his entire chest - Syo’s fairly certain he’d started the day with the shirt fully buttoned, and had loosened one for each irritated click of their teacher's tongue (what a jackass). 

Jinguji’s brow slips as he looks at him, angular face twitching into a microscopic scowl. He feels himself tense, worried he’s already managed to draw the scorn of arguably the most influential boy in his year. 

Then his eyes flicker, just for a second, from him to their teacher, accompanied by a slight head tilt. The bold blue of his eyes seems to hold a question: ‘What’s up with him?’

Syo feels himself beginning to scowl too, lips drawing into a thin line. He shakes his head quickly - ‘I don't know.’ - as Mr Hyuuga checks his watch for a third time, running a hand through his hair as he continues to read.

Jinguji stares at Syo for a long second, eyes narrowed, before pursing his lips. His mind seemingly made up, he swings his chair back forward onto all four legs, jostling his desk so hard that he knocks Saotome’s golden boy Ichinose forward into his own desk. Ichinose’s head whips around, furious, as the other boy raises his hand to get Mr Hyuuga’s attention.

Their teacher doesn’t manage to finish his sentence, let alone ask his new student what he wants - Jinguji quickly makes it apparent that he doesn't care enough for manners to wait a mere five seconds.

“Mr Hyuuga, why d’you keep checking your watch so often? Seems a little hypocritical to be so impatient for lunch after the constant warnings about inattentiveness, don’t you think?”

The tension in the room skyrockets as perfect silence falls over the class. Syo catches his own horrified expression reflected in the face of the girl sitting behind Ren - his indignation, too, as both of them mentally debate with themselves whether or not to throttle the older boy for interrupting the Ryuuya Hyuuga. Even Ichinose's temper (already famous among the students after how harshly he'd addressed his new roommate at breakfast that morning) diminishes considerably, as he warily turns back to face the front of the room.

Vibrant amber eyes flick up from the book they’re reading from. The way they assess Jinguji over the top of oval frames is more than a little nerve-wracking.

Then he sighs.

Any menace to his demeanour vanishes with his breath, his head lolling back and redirecting his gaze ceiling-ward. 

“Sorry,” he says, sounding sheepish of all things, “I’m just… a little worried is all. He’s normally so timely...”

The confusion among the class is practically audible. The orientation timetable they’d been handed that morning has nothing else scheduled ahead of lunch, no implication of further visitors. And Ryuuya Hyuuga doesn’t do surprises, especially not on the first day of semester.

(Or so Mr Tsukimiya had been faux-whispering during the campus tour, trying to get a rise out of his… friend? Boyfriend? Whatever. That was a question for later.)

“I’m sorry, sir,” - Ichinose, unexpectedly, raises the question on everyone’s mind - “but I don’t believe we have anything else scheduled ahead of lunch?”

They all jump as Mr Hyuuga unexpectedly barks a laugh.

“Lucky you,” he says, smiling wryly. His eyes skim the face of his watch yet again.

“I, however, am not so fortunate.”

Jinguji, clearly done with Mr Hyuuga’s coy responses, leans forward over his desk in a pointedly accusatory manner.

“I’m sorry, sir, but what the fu--”

“RYUUYA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER, TODAY’S THE DIE YOU FINALLY DIE!!!”

A mass of hot pink barrels through the open window at mach speed, colliding with Mr Hyuuga with such force that his entire desk goes sprawling. Students shriek as their teacher falls to the floor amidst his scattered books and papers, flailing beneath another almost-equally-large figure.

It’s hard to see the features of the attacker, amidst what quickly turns into a wrestling match, other than a tangle of chartreuse hair and the feral snarl of their teeth. Their movements are vicious, fists swinging at Mr Hyuuga like they want to smack his jaw clean from his head. Fortunately, their teacher is no pushover.

He grabs his assailant’s fists cleanly before they make contact, bringing his knee up swiftly into their gut. There’s an ‘oof’ as they crumble, and Mr Hyuuga takes the opportunity to roll them over so he has the advantage.

“I almost thought you weren’t going to show,” he hisses through gritted teeth, struggling with the exertion of keeping the wriggling person down. The person below him practically growls in frustration, biceps rippling as they start to struggle against him anew. Their sheer muscle seems to catch Mr Hyuuga off-guard, years-practised technique failing to hold up as he’s shoved from his triumphant throne on their stomach. They sit up almost as quickly as Mr Hyuuga drops, grappling him by his stomach.

“And I thought you kept sayin’ you wasn’t interested in fighting me to the death, and yet--”

Mr Hyuuga shrieks uncharacteristically, and there’s a flash of yellowed teeth contrasted against his dark suit jacket as his legs thrash wildly. By now, the more frail students in the class are trying to get as far away as possible from the brawl on the floor (the door clicking shut alerts Syo that some brave soul has gone to find help too). Medically speaking, Syo should probably consider himself amongst their number, and also retreat to a sensible distance. And yet… he just can’t pass up the opportunity to watch his idol fight for real (no matter how much it’s starting to resemble eight-year-old kids scrapping in the playground)

“I’m NOT interested in fighting you to the death--!!” Mr Hyuuga shouts, tone strangely childish, as he shoves at the person’s head. With considerable effort, he manages to prise their jaw open and away from his flank, only for them to double down and bite his thumb instead. He swears loudly, letting go lightning fast. He shoves his undamaged hand against the side of their head, directing their teeth away from him, though it does nothing to loosen the grip of their fuschia-clad arms around his middle.

“Oh, stop bein’ such a pussy and fight me properly!!”

“Yamato, this is a school for heaven’s sake, could you mind your langua--!!”

“Oh fuck off, you swore like two seconds ago, you fuckin’ hypocri--!!”

“Yams.”

The two on the floor freeze as every student’s head whips to the front of the room. In the doorway stands Mr Tsukimiya, his expression the blankest Syo’s ever seen on him (and with him so frequently paired with Mr Hyuuga, he’s seen him in a lot of stuff). He starts to stride purposefully into the room, each click of his heels against the wooden floor making everyone jump.

The A class students are clamoring in the doorway for a better look at what’s happening - Natsuki towers over everyone else, face aghast and hands over his mouth, while Ichinose’s red-headed roommate tries to protect a smaller girl from being squashed by the pushing masses (and squashing the Hijirikawa heir, of all people, in the process). Jinguji’s expression has slowly transformed to one of pure glee as events have progressed, while Ichinose looks like he might be nursing a migraine - judging by the look on Mr Tsukimiya’s face, the pain will probably be getting worse before it gets better.

He’s only a short man. A few inches taller than Syo himself at best, even with his heels on. The assailant must have at least half a foot on him, and is definitely twice as broad, and Mr Hyuuga is taller still. But at this moment, the two giants on the floor are meek as mice in the face of Shining Agency’s cutest idol. 

“Rin--”

“Shut up.”

His tone is dagger sharp as he cuts off the green haired person. He neatly squats down to their eye level, hands folded delicately over his knees.

“Now then. What, exactly, do you think you’re doing?”

Two pairs of wide amber eyes blink up at him.

“Well?”

“I was just--”

“C’mon, Rin, y’know I fuckin’ ha--!!”

“He does this every semester, I can’t stand here and let him--!!”

“Well you have it comin’, just stood there with your dumb hair n’ your stupid glasses--”

“Oi, what’s wrong with my hair, you little shi--!”

“Ha! There ya go again! Don’t care that much that we’re in a school, do y--!”

“ENOUGH!!”

Mr Tsukimiya’s prim posture vanishes, shoulders dropping as he leans into their personal space (‘YAKUZA SQUAT’ screams Syo’s mind, as the threatening aura of the petite man forces him to take a step back). The volume of his voice diminishes considerably, leaving every student desperately straining to hear what he says.

“This is the sixth year running this has happened. Every fucking year I have to come and clean up this mess. And sure, the first three years it was pretty funny. The fourth time still got a giggle out of me when you managed to pants each other,” - at this, they both flush the colour of Mr Tsukimiya’s shoes - “but I told you last year that I had had enough. So why the fuck am I here again this year?”

They both swallow nervously.

“Yamato.”

The assailant flinches.

“Y-yessir.”

“I don’t care how much you hate him, do not attack him during school hours. You’re putting the students in danger and your own career in jeopardy, if the reporters catch you skulking about.”

In an instant their shoulders sink, expression like that of a chastised puppy. 

“And Ryuuya.”

Mr Hyuuga sucks his cheeks in nervously.

“If you know he comes at 11 like clockwork every year, then why the fuck don’t you just close the window?!”

‘Yamato’ snorts, sharp teeth flashing for the briefest moment.

“Yeah, Ryuu, you fuckin’ dolt-- AUGH!!”

Mr Tsukimiya seizes him by the earlobe and pulls his head sharply.

“I don’t know what you’re laughing at, young man. You’ve got a lecture on music theory to sit through.”

“Wait, what--OW OW OW GEROFF!!”

Merciless, Mr Tsukimiya stands swiftly, dragging the taller man up with him. His class scrambles away from the door and back across the hall as he marches from the room, ignoring Yamato’s complaints and pleas for freedom. He toes the door shut without so much as a glance backwards, and the room falls into a stunned silence.

Mr Hyuuga pulls himself up with a grunt, clutching his bitten flank, and retrieves his glasses from where they’ve fallen by Ichinose’s surprisingly unmoved desk. With them placed firmly back on the bridge of his nose, he goes about wordlessly rearranging the room to its former pristine state, pulling his desk back upright with some effort. The students quickly move to help him, gathering his scattered papers and books, and adjusting their own desks one by one. Through it all, Jinguji sits back in his seat with a bewildered yet overjoyed smile - a cat who got the cream - while Ichinose himself looks confused about just what sort of school he’s signed up for.

Syo moves to the front of the room and wordlessly closes the open window.

When everything is orderly once more, everyone returns to their seats. Mr Hyuuga stands in-front of his newly righted desk and leans back against it, arms folded. His posture would seem terrifying were it not for the slight flush of his cheeks, the bashful set to his mouth. 

He looks at each of them in turn, seemingly daring them to raise a question about the events that just transpired. When no one speaks, he simply picks up his book, flips a few pages and begins to read anew.

Not a single sentence is completed before Syo hears the telltale shifting of fabric that accompanies a raised hand.

“Sir, what the fuck just happened?”

“Detention, Jinguji.”

“Wha--?!”

The bell rings. Lunchtime.

“None of you are ever to mention this again. Class dismissed.”

i said this in group chat:

and then immediately went off the rails and wrote this

you're welcome

[todragonsart]

Siege The Valentine’s Day 10 - The bet

First things first, I AM SO SORRY for being this late :D I mean, I wanted to post this on the 10th of February, but- life and @thefishychicken​ happened in my life, so I- slipped in my timetable. I’m so sorry for being this late @dualrainbow​. 

But!

It’s better to be late then never, I think :D Thank you so much for @r6shippingdelivery​ for your help as a humble beta yet again! <3

Enjoy!!

Deep breath in- deep breath out.

IQ placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, reassuring him. "Okay, Marius, you are doing great. Let's go through the plan once more, okay?"

Deep breath in- deep breath out.

Jäger nodded, trying to concentrate on the rhythm of his breathing. "Okay-okay. So I-I look for César and when I find him, I give him back the book he lent me earlier. I start to chat with them then I ask him on a Valentine's Date!"

"Yes! Yes, perfect!" IQ started to fairy clap her hand, fully excited.

“Okay, but what do I do if he says no?” Jäger looked at her, palms ridiculously sweaty.

Immediately freezing, IQ bit into her bottom lip. “Well… I don’t think he would, you know? I think if you feel like this, it might be because he let out certain vibes as well!”

“Or that you are just a loser~” sang songed Bandit with a smirk. He didn’t even look up from his book. IQ immediately punched him in the shoulder, causing the man to wince. “Oh my god, Woman! What the fu-”

“You are no help at all! Marius is struggling here!” IQ shook her head.

With an angry grunt, Bandit sit up, placing down his book. “Listen, MamaMonika! Marius is a battle trained soldier, one of the bests of GSG9, one of the most amazing mechanics both of us knows, and his only goal is to ask his fucking crush on a date. I think he is a big boy, he can do it without you mommying him all the time!”

Hearing all this, Jäger’s lips curved upwards into a happy little smile.

IQ hummed, looking back at her teammate. “Well, you are not wrong. Marius, you can do it!”

“I don’t even understand what is your damn problem, the guy is 10 years younger and 10 cms shorter than you, you have the advantage in both!” grinned Bandit again. He picked up his book in an attempt to go back to reading, but looked up one last time. “However, I made a bet with Maxim and Jordan, so I hope you fuck it up!”

IQ planted her face into her hands, because now Jäger’s face started to turn into a grimace.

The woman stepped in front of him, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Look at me, at me! Not at him,” IQ glanced at Bandit, who was still smirking. She looked Jäger in the eyes. “Look at me, Marius. You can do it. You have been wanting him since Christmas and you made a New Year’s Vow to ask him on a date. You like him, and he likes you and even if he doesn’t like you the way you want, he is still mature enough to not poke fun at you. It’s going to be fine, and you can’t even lose anything!”

Jäger looked at her and listening he started to nod slowly. “Yeah.”

“Because you are amazing, funny, kind, smart-"

"Fucking cringy and awkward!" Bandit was a big help, yeah.

"- and fantastic! Don't listen to Dom, he is just jealous."

Bandit snorted at that, and IQ smiled at Jäger. "Are you ready?"

With a deep breath, Jäger lifted Goyo's book. "My palms are sweating, my knees are trembling, my throat is clogged-"

"Did you catch the flu?" Bandit lifted an eyebrow.

Blinking confused, Jäger shook his head. "No?"

"Then get yourself together and woman up! Be like Monika. She would stomp there, grab that guy by the ear and order him to go on a date with her!" Noticing the dark glare of IQ, Bandit smirked even wider. "In the most adorable and dominatrix way, she could!" he even winked at the woman.

Jäger let out a little laugh at the way IQ was shaking her head now. "Back to the point! You are good Marius. You can do it! Just be yourself!"

The man looked at his teammates for a few seconds, considering the options, storing the information, then, with a nod, he straightened up, hugging Goyo's book close to himself. "Very well. Wish me luck!"

"Break a leg-!"

"That way César would be able to catch you when you fall!" snorted Bandit.

Actually laughing at this, Jäger nodded and left the room. The two remaining German listened to his footsteps fade, then Bandit looked up at IQ.

"Do you really think he can do it, or you just pushing him, because you bet 25£ on him?"

IQ smiled at him. "Of course he can do it! Now come on. We need to catch our show in the Nerd Room."

Bandit placed down his book and got up, joining IQ. "Do you think Mark really put bugs everywhere on Base to be able to track the bet?"

Now IQ was the one smirking. "I helped. Trust me, there are bugs everywhere!"

Bandit hugged her close to himself for a second. "When you do stuff like this is the time I know I have the most amazing best friend!"

"And when you say stuff like this" replied IQ. "Is the time I know you are high!"

Grinning Bandit opened the door to the Monitor room - the home of Dokkaebi, Mute and all the nerds. "We will never know!"

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Jäger found Goyo in the common room, next to Mira, Amaru and Thermite. The later three were arguing about some sort of development for the Vulcan shield, but the Mexican wasn't really talking, just listening, as usual.

The German walked in, reassuring himself.

Breathe in- breathe out. It’s going to be okay.

When Goyo noticed Jäger, he turned his face away from the others to look at him, and offered the smallest and warmest of smiles, effectively shattering the German’s courage into tiny, knee-trembling pieces.

He felt his mouth dry out, his hands starting to shake, his previous plans vanish into thin air. It’s so not going to be okay!

For a second, he considered turning back and hiding under his bed for the next decade. That way at least he could have been safe, nobody to bug him. He could even be a ghost.

He glanced back at the door, biting into his bottom lip. Running seemed so easy and nice, for a second he even forgot why he was here.

Then he looked back at the group of people, and noticed that Goyo was still looking at him, his beautiful brown eyes waiting patiently for Jäger to join them.

The German loved his eyes. They were fantastic. The most amazing mix of red and brown, spotted with green here and there. Glaz wished to paint something this perfect! Looking into his eyes felt like walking in forest on a fresh autumn morning. There were times, when only looking at the Mexican during a training or live mission calmed him down. When he looked into Goyo's eyes, he felt appreciated and maybe even a bit special. But most of all, he felt safe.

And this on its own was worth fighting for, so he pushed aside his fears and braced himself.

With a big gulp, he clenched his fists and approached them. "Hey guys!"

As usual, Amaru greeted him in a cheerful voice. “Marius! It’s so good to see you, help us out here. Elena and Jordan are fighting over the new blueprints of the Vulcan!”

His eyes fidgeting on the book, he glanced at Goyo, then at the others and their papers. Five minutes didn’t really matter, did they? Maybe this would calm down his nerves a bit. So he joined and put the book in his pocket.

As he was hunching over the blueprints, he totally missed the little glance Goyo threw at his always cheerful partner. Amaru smirked at him.

Scratching his neck, Jäger took a pencil from the table and, literally lying on top of the big papers, he started to correct the design flaws or the constructions that were technically infeasible.

Mira and Thermite nodded along his work, offering new ideas. Amaru was kind of helping, but Goyo was only watching the scribbles of new plans, the other three, and especially Jäger. Always Jäger.

Amaru glanced at him and poked him in the side with her elbow, but Goyo gently waved her off.

When Jäger finished, he placed down the pencil and humming, looked at Mira and Thermite. “It might be easier this way!”

The Spanish tilted her head and looked at the American. “I told you he will correct most of it! You can’t actually store lava in those cans Jordan!”

“So what? A man can have dreams!”

Rolling her eyes, Mira lifted the blueprints. “Thanks Marius!”

Jäger smiled at her. “No problem. If you leave them in the workshop, we can go through them tomorrow together- I mean if you want!”

The Spaniard looked at him, lifting an eyebrow a little. Lightning fast, she glanced at Goyo then back to Jäger. “Why not now?”

Jäger - catching the little glance - felt himself blush a little. “I have stuff to do!”

“What kind of stuff?” Mira smiled. Jäger wanted to murder her. He was sure she knew about the bet. Of course she knew about the bet! In fact, Thermite was one of Bandit’s best friends, so he surely participated as well. Jäger wasn't sure about Amaru, but at this point everybody was a possible betting suspect, either ready to help or to hold him back.

With a wave of anger, he turned his face towards Goyo. "Can I steal you for five minutes?"

Blinking, the Mexican nodded. "Sure! I will be right back!" he looked at Amaru, who nodded with a smile.

As they left, Mira looked at Thermite. "I will take Eliza on a date from the money I win!"

Thermite shook his head. "It's still not over Elena. If you lose, I'm taking her on a date!"

Mira flushed all of a sudden. "You can't always steal her based on you two being best friends!"

Thermite winked at her. "You should have bet on Marius, not against him!"

The Spaniard punched him in the shoulder in anger.

Amaru smiled at them. "Oh come on kids, calm down, this is just a game!"

"Says the woman who bet 50£ to her loss?" smirked Thermite. "Why do you want to lose?"

With an all knowing smile, Amaru looked in the direction of the entrance, where Goyo and Jäger left. "Because I bet against César, and I know how happy he would be if Marius did ask him out on a date!"

Mira's eyes rounded. "He bet on Marius? That's cheating!"

Thermite shook his head. "Technically he didn't say anything yet, so… he is still in the game!"

Amaru grinned. "Yes, he is!"

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

"You look pale, are you okay?" Goyo asked, walking side by side with Jäger.

"Y-yeah, sure! Everything is okay!" came the shaky reply. Jäger looked down at the book in his hands.

Come on!

Clenching his eyes, he recalled IQ's voice, how she tried to calm him.

Breathe in-breathe out. He can do this!

"I just brought you back the book back you lent me!" he offered said object to Goyo.

Blinking, the Mexican took it, almost not being able to hold back a smile. "I told you, you can keep it, didn't I?"

Jäger bit into his lip. Goyo did tell him, didn't he? Fuck, now he looks like an idiot! Shit.

"Y-yeah?"

Chuckling, Goyo shook his head. "You forgot?"

"Maybe."

"Well, you can still keep it. I know you love these more than me, it would be in a better place with you."

"Thank you, César!"

"Nothing to thank me for. Was this all, you wanted to talk about?"

"Yeah!" answered Jäger, then blinking he started to stutter. "I-I m-mean, n-no! No of course not I-I um...um… w-wanted to ask something, to be honest!"

"Oh, yeah? Should I be worried?" Goyo smiled at him, making Jäger's heart skip a beat.

"W-why would you do that? No! Nothing to worry about!"

"I'm just pulling your leg, Marius. You seem so stressed. Come on, let's take a walk outside, shall we?"

Jäger looked at him, nodding furiously. A little fresh air might calm down his nerves.

Heading outside, none of them were talking. And it was- perfect. They always did this, just existing side by side, and that was it. Jäger loved it, being around Goyo was putting him at ease like nothing else.

When they were out with friends and he ended up sitting next to the Mexican, he usually fell asleep on the man's shoulder. Goyo never complained. This went with movies as well, they watched together or when they were on a plane coming home after a mission. It started to become the best place for Jäger to sleep on, even though Goyo was shorter than him. He always found a way to snuggle up to the Mexican’s side.

Thankfully, the chilly February weather calmed down his burning skin a bit as they got outside. Goyo started their usual path, walking towards the hangars to check out Jäger’s helicopter.

He looked at the German, who was still deep in his thoughts, then glanced up at the Base’s windows. He didn’t even need to search for too long, he soon found a few noses pressed to the Nerd Lair’s window - Bandit, IQ, Mute, Dokkaebi, Fuze. They were watching like hungry hawks.

With a small smile, Goyo massaged the bridge of his nose and looked at Jäger. “So, how are you? You seem a bit distracted as well!”

The German glanced at him, blushing all of a sudden. “Yes! N-no-!”

Goyo lifted an eyebrow with a small smile. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yes! Yes! I’m just a bit- maybe a bit stiff? But- I need to ask you something!” Jäger stopped in his track, turning towards Goyo, placing his hands on the man’s shoulders.

Not even surprised by the sudden repositioning, the Mexican looked up at him, straight into his eyes, lips curving into a small smile. "I'm all ears."

Jäger watched his eyes for a mere second, bracing himself. It's going to be alright. Just be Monika.

He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, but the moment he wanted to speak, he noticed his friends - noses still pressed against the window.

He lifted an eyebrow, pulling a face. "Oh fuck me-"

“Maybe later-” he heard the Mexican whisper and snapped his eyes at him.

“W-what?” he stuttered. His knees started to tremble again.

Goyo - with a face calm and collected - looked up at him again, gently petting one of Jäger’s hands on his shoulder. “You wanted to ask something, right? Ask it!”

With an audible gulp Jäger nodded, letting his hands fall to his sides. “Right!” he glanced at the window once more. He saw Bandit shaking his head, and he felt his fingers clenching into fists. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for every possible answer, best and worst and nodded to himself.

“W-would you like to g-go on a date with m-me…?” he muttered, closing his eyes for a second.

Goyo just stood there, silent, unmoving.

Oh great. Now Jäger was an idiot and Bandit would win. Fantastic. Fantastic! As one more, silent second went by, his disappointment turned to sadness.

He turned his face away, rubbing his arm, trying to hide his frustration. He felt like a disaster.

Then he felt Goyo’s voice, warm and rich, making his eyes round. “I can’t give you a proper answer until you look at me, Marius.”

Fumbling with his fingers, Jäger glanced up at him just to be greeted by Goyo’s beautiful smile. He could not calm down immediately.

Goyo lifted his hand, waving Jäger closer. With never seen excitement, the German straightened up and stepped closer to the other. Goyo looked at him, his smile turning into a grin. “I thought you would never ask!”

Jäger couldn’t hold back a wide grin. He wanted to jump out of his skin in excitement, he wanted to shout, to run a mile, to do anything that would deduct his previous stress and newly found energy.

“S-so is that a yes?” he heard himself ask. Dammit anxiety! He wanted to slap himself.

With a laugh Goyo reached out and grabbed a handful of his collar, pulling him down to press their lips together. Just like that!? The motion was so smooth and calculated, Jäger could not stop his endorphin filled brain from thinking about Goyo thinking about this as well. He felt himself high, he was happy, now his hands started to shake because of this as he hugged Goyo’s waist, kissing back.

He heard the Mexican’s little laugh, as he pulled back. “Eager, aren’t we?”

Jäger bushed. “I’m sorry…?”

“Are you?” grinned Goyo.

The German shook his head. “Not a bit.”

“I know you like Valentine’s Day, but not the crowd, so February 15th? Does that work for you as the date?”

Blinking a few, Jäger burst out laughing. “Sure! Y-yes please!”

“Deal!” Goyo pressed one more kiss on his lips and stepped back. “Shall we go?”

Jäger grinned at him. “Sure- just one second!” he turned towards the window where he saw the others and flipped them a finger, then turned to Goyo. “They made a stupid bet-”

“I know!” nodded Goyo. Wide eyes, Jäger looked at him to be greeted by a small smirk. “I bet on you asking me, and you did it!”

“H-hey!” Jäger almost fainted and when the Mexican started his way back to the building he ran after him, totally missing the celebration in the Computer room.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

“I won!” IQ popped down next to Bandit, who was still sitting next to the window. “And you lost!”

Bandit looked at her, his lips pulling into a sly smirk as he reached for his smoke.

IQ crossed her arms in front of her. “Why are you smiling? You lost…!”

He pulled out one thread and put it in between his lips. He lit it and blew out the smoke. “Did I?” Bandit patted her knee. “I lost, like- 10£.”

Her eyes widening, IQ leant closer. “How!?”

Bandit looked at her. “I never said I bet against Marius, Monika.”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said, but that only was to get Marius going!”

Mouth falling open the woman shook her head, a smile bloomin on her lips. “You fucker. You made like… 20 bets with everybody and none of these were against Marius, hah?”

Bandit nodded. “I’m rich.”

“You fucking fucker. But how did you lose that 10£ then?” IQ tilted her head.

Bandit looked out the window, satisfied. “The only bet I made against Marius was- with Marius.”

IQ both amazed and scared shook her head. “You- I can’t even-”

Bandit looked up at her. “I knew he could do it, Monika, but not using this opportunity to collect money is just stupid!” he winked.

“Evil.”

“Genius.”

“I can’t even!” IQ shook her head and still trying to process all the info, she stood up and left Bandit by himself.

Grinning the German looked after her and out of the window. He could still see Jäger and Goyo, and he just couldn’t stop the proud smile spreading on his lips.

I hope you enjoyed! <3

[connormurphyobsessed]

The Masks We Wear (Connor Murphy x Reader)

Okay hello! This is my first imagine! Yay! I’ve worked really hard on it so don’t be afraid to give feedback! Requested: Nope Words: 2,557 Warnings: None other than some swearing

Being the new kid isn’t easy, especially when you are judged so fiercely for being yourself. You know the right words to say, the correct outfits to wear, when to smile, when to laugh, and when to disappear. You’ve never been the popular person, but you get along just fine with the façade that you’ve mastered so well it almost feels like you. Almost. Your first day of school arrives just like the five before, even though the fall semester was already half way done. With your dad in the army you couldn’t blame him for all of the moving, after all your grandfather, great grandfather, and so on, all chose the same life. This move was slightly different though, your dad finally got the promotion that would keep you in one place for the rest of high school. You knew that at this school the mask you wore would need to be convincing enough to help you survive longer than usual.

This new school was bigger than the last, and your sense of direction wasn’t top notch. After the office gave you your timetable you scurried through the hall desperately looking for classroom 27B, and wondered if the office lady thought it would be funny to give you a fake room number. You looked at the doors as you darted around the now empty hallway as everyone had already entered a class. You were startled back to reality as you heard a locker slam behind you. You turned to see a boy walking away from you with leisure towards what you thought might be an exit, but you couldn’t be sure. “Umm… Excuse me!” you surprised yourself with saying, but the boy only glanced over his shoulder and kept walking. You dashed towards him this time, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I don’t know where 27B is and I’ve been looking for 15 minutes, and I don’t want to be late on my first day.” This time the boy turned around and looked at you with a mix of boredom and the smallest bit of amusement. “You’re looking for 27B?” you nodded your head as you glanced at the piece of paper to the rooms around you, back to the boy. “You’re on the wrong floor,” he said with a little more amusement showing. “Oh…” the embarrassment evident on your face, “Well I guess that explains why I can’t find it. Anyways, thanks, and I’m y/n” “Connor” “Well, thanks, Connor and I’ll see you around? I don’t really know anybody and you’re the only conversation I’ve had with someone at the school who doesn’t work here” “See you around,” he shrugged “I guess, but I wouldn’t plan on it.”

With that short-lived conversation, you were off to your first class. All the classes seemed to drag on, with teachers mindlessly going on about formulas that you wouldn’t remember in a week. As it does at every school the lunch bell rang, and it was time for what you pictured hell as :a lunchroom. Kids scuttle around trying to find a table that would get the most attention from the people they want to impress, and others take it as time catch up on homework in clusters of others as a form of protection. You on the other hand used this time to find a group that would keep you safe, I mean high school kids are mean. You settled on a group of girls that seemed nice enough and spent your lunch smiling at the right time, laughing when needed, and making the right comments so that the girls at the table said they could tell you would fit right in with them.

The next week was fine enough. You made some friends that you could eat lunch with, gossip about the teacher’s new haircut with and text for help on Algebra homework.  You even decided on trying out for the cheerleading team, which you made. It seemed as if the mask you perfected was working like a dream. On the Monday of your second week, the girls you ate lunch with were all busy. A few had lunch detention, while others had the weekly student council meeting. With nowhere to go for lunch, you wandered on the lawn by the football field, where you spotted the familiar face of Connor, the boy who you met on your first day. Picking up your pace you walked over to him and sat down across from him and pulled out your lunch. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked with annoyance rising in him. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m about to eat lunch with you,” you replied taking a bite out of your sandwich. “I know what the fuck you’re doing. Why are you eating here?” he said this time getting angrier. “It might seem like a funny joke to eat with the freak, but this freak prefers to eat alone, so leave.” The anger in his voice made you jump, but you didn’t get up. “Why would eating with you be a joke? And I’m not leaving, I don’t have anyone to eat with and this freak likes eating with people,” “Yeah well have fun by yourself,” he said as he picked his bag up and stomped away. You watched him walk away, the surprise evident on your face. Why had he thought you were trying to be mean? Why was he so defensive? All of these questions rattled in your mind as you walked back to the school building.

After cheer practice, you went with some of the girls to get frozen yogurt just around the block. “Do you know anything about some kid at school named Connor?” you asked as everyone took a seat. “Which Connor?” one girl answered. “Well he’s tall, has long hair, really pretty eyes actually-,” “You mean psychopath Connor? He’s a total freak. He has some major issues, but his sisters nice. I’d stay away from him if I were you, if people see you near him they might get the wrong idea,” and with that the subject changed to who was the best kisser on the football team.

The next day during lunch you told your friends that you had to do work with a teacher at lunch. Instead, you went back to the lawn from yesterday and sat next to Connor once again. “Again? Really? I thought I made myself clear,” Connor said as flipped the page in the book he was reading. “I’m not the best with listening to directions,” you said smiling at him this time. “Your friends still busy or some shit?” “No, I just wanted to eat with you,” Connor finally looked up from his book in surprise, but quickly went back to his annoyed face. You two spent the rest of lunch in silence together, him reading, and you eating your sandwich.

The two of you eating lunch together continued. With your persistent talking Connor eventually replied with more than one-word answers, and soon your daily lunch together became something you looked forward to. “So what about ‘Fahrenheit 451’?” “Well I did read that one, but only after I watched the movie and had turned in my essay” “Well fuck, and you still got an A?” you nodded laughing looking at the amazement that had settled on his face. “I am impressed, that takes real skill to bullshit your way through English class so well,” he said slowly clapping. You dramatically bowed as you walked over to the lawn together. Connor had started waiting for you by the bleachers so you could walk to lunch together, but he denied that he was waiting for you. “It was a needed skill. Sometimes my family would move and the new teachers would automatically want an essay the next day from a book I’ve never read.” “Well that sucks,” “I guess it does, but I’ve gotten used to it. I’ve gotten used to it all,” “You shouldn’t have to get used to it. Why aren’t you mad at your parents? I would be so fucking furious, and you just smile about it all,” you laughed as he said this while sitting down under a tree. “I don’t get to be mad. This is what my family does. Besides I would sound so horrible if I got angry at my dad, the man who served three tours in Iraq, the man who risks his life for America,” you said as you pulled large clumps of grass from the ground, “But sometimes I just want a dad, an actual dad, not some war hero, but someone who tells me to change shorts because they are too short, a dad who says cheesy jokes, not some man who lives in the same house as me, but is a billion miles away because he has no idea who I am.” You started throwing the clumps of grass you had uprooted. You glanced over at Connor who looked conflicted. “What?” you asked abruptly aware of how loud you had gotten. In an instant Connor suddenly hugged you. His arms were long and lanky around you, but somehow you felt safe. His body smelled like coconut, probably from shampoo, and his heart beat somehow sounded beautiful. He let go of you, a second later, and the hug had felt like a million years and less than a millisecond at the same time. You looked up at him and he was looking anywhere, but your eyes. “Thanks,” you whispered, “I really needed that.” Connor mumbled out a response along the lines of ‘no –problem’.

After that day you were painfully aware of Connor. You were aware of every step he took and how he kept his hands in his pockets, and scratched at his jeans when he got angry over something small, and how when you made a bad pun he would roll his eyes, but smile slightly. It seemed like all at once everything about Connor was magical and you would count down the minutes until lunch with him, and it seemed Connor was thinking the same thing. “So I was uhmm-well I was think-no that’s no right,” Connor mumbled about a month and a half after your first lunch together, “I was thinking that we could hang out outside of school.” Connor looked down at you trying to hide the nerves that he felt asking. The nerves were evident on his face though as he watched you reply. “I’d love to,” you said simply, but the smile on your face said it all. You were ecstatic; finally, you would spend more than the designated time at lunch together.

You and Connor had settled it and decided that you would hang out that Saturday and work on English homework together at your house since Connor said that his parents would be all weird about it. Finally, Saturday arrived, and the nerves you had denied were obvious as you paced your room trying to figure out which shirt to wear knowing they were basically the same shirt. Little did you know that Connor was also pacing his room trying to decide if he should wear a black shirt or grey shirt. Of course, Zoe found this hilarious and Connor, being too nervous to yell, allowed Zoe to help him chose a shirt. They settled on grey, Zoe saying that it showed that he wore more than black. Connor showed up on time and you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he was an actual friend, even though you wanted more, but he was somebody who you didn’t feel the need to wear your mask around, with him you could just exist. “Uhmm, we can go hang out in my room if you want,” you asked motioning towards a hallway. “Sure, but your parents will be okay with me in your room?” he asked as you opened the door to your room. “Oh, they don’t really care what I do, and if they did they aren’t ever home to enforce the  rules they have.” With that you sat on your bedroom floor and pulled out your English books, but they were quickly forgotten when you started talking. Within minutes of talking the subject turned to Connor’s family. “I don’t know. It’s just like I’m the fucking black sheep. I just want them to look at me and not be ashamed of their son,” Connor huffed as you lay side by side on your floor looking at the blank ceiling. “I’m sure they aren’t ashamed” “You don’t even know them, you can’t be sure” “But I know you,” you said pushing yourself into a sitting position. “What the hell does that mean?” “It means you are the last person anyone could be ashamed of. You have this wonderful mind that anyone would be lucky to know about, you are the fastest reader I know, you pretend to hate others, but you are so incredibly caring, and you are my favorite person and the only one who knows me.” Suddenly Connor pushes himself up. “Bullshit. You have friends and I’m just a pity friend and we both know it,” Connor said. You knew you hit a chord in him. Whenever you said nice things about him he automatically thought it was a lie, no matter how many times you promised it was the truth. It pained you to think that somebody you cared for as much as Connor didn’t know that you did. “Now that’s bullshit Connor. We both know that it’s fake with everyone, except for you! I put this mask on so I blend in, stay alive, and make it until the next school,” you took a breath and moved closer to Connor as you started speaking again. “You’re the exception, with you it’s all real. I don’t have to pretend life is okay, or pretend I care about school drama. With you I’m just me, and with me I think you are just you.” Connor stayed silent for a minute after that. “If we’re being honest and shit right now,” Connor spoke softly, “People don’t like the real me, but for some reason you do, the angry parts and everything, so I guess  don’t need a mask with you.” You looked at Connor and saw how scared he was, of being alone again, of being rejected. You knew that this was truly him without the façade that he had perfected over time. “Connor,” you spoke softly. He took his gaze off the floor and looked at you. You slowly put your hands on the side of his face and brought your lips to his. He still smelled of coconut, but you were more concentrated on the feeling of his lips on yours. The surprise of you kissing him quickly wore off and he kissed you back as if it were life or death. His chapped lips melted into your and his hands found your waist as he pulled you closer. Too quickly the kiss ended as you both needed air. “I hope it was okay I kissed you,” you softly laughed. “It’s more than okay. I hope it’s okay that I don’t want to stop kissing you,” he replied as he went back to your lips for another kiss.

[allondonboy]

Medicine for the Soul (Ch 2)

Chapter 2 - Allegro molto appassionato: tutti (Ch 1)

Content warnings for: transphobia, implied misgendering, alcohol. Drink responsibly, folks. Thanks to Sky @icoulddancettothisbeat again for betaing and cheering me on.

After doing some editing this week, I realised this fic currently has a lot of a) shrugging, b) frowning and c) height jokes.

This chapter has kinda grown on me and any feedback is hugely appreciated. Thanks to everyone who's liked/reblogged here and left kudos/comments on AO3, I don't think I stopped smiling all week.

Alex wakes to the smell of warm donuts and they half slide, half fall out of bed, landing on their knees and shuffling over to where the smell is coming from. Lucy pokes them with her foot and laughs as Alex sleepily swats at her.

“Morning, sunshine.”

Alex mumbles back around a mouthful of donut, leaning against their bed with a happy moan.

“You’re welcome,” Lucy ruffles their hair and Alex ducks, glaring at her as best they can without their glasses on. “Coffee’s on the side.”

Dusting off their sugary fingers, Alex lets out another moan and grabs the cup from Lucy’s desk.

“Lifesaver,” they breathe, and Lucy shrugs.

“I’ll take that title.”

The loud buzz of Alex’s phone on their desk startles them and they dive for it, fumbling with the screen until they hit the right button.

“Danvers.”

“Is that any way to greet me, Alexandra?”

Alex’s head drops back against their bed and they push down the retort that threatens to bubble up and out.

“Hey, Mom. How are you?” they say instead.

“Did you get the list of internships I sent you? Applications open this week and you don’t want to miss out, do you?”

“It’s eight in the morning, I haven’t even finished my coffee yet!”

Eliza hmms, and Alex lobs a shoe across the room. “Just make sure you get your applications in soon, sweetie. It would be a shame not to put your potential to good use.”

“Yes, Mom,” Alex says, and chucks the other shoe after the first. Lucy wordlessly tosses them back to them.

“I’m so proud of you, Alex.”

“I know.” The first shoe goes again.

“It would be nice to see you if you can spare some of your precious time to visit your family. Kara misses you.”

“I am doing a degree, Mom, it’s not like I can put deadlines on hold when I feel like it - ”

“The key to a successful career is time management, you know that. No distractions, a clear timetable, focus, drive.”

“Got all that, Mom.” They can sense the direction of the conversation changing and their heart thumps faster as they throw the second shoe so hard mud sprays over the floor.

Eliza tuts and Alex can almost hear the disapproving, tight-lipped frown.

“All that non-binary nonsense can’t be helping. I don’t understand why you can’t channel your dramatics into your studies instead of creating this alter ego that is only going to make your life more complicated.”

“It’s not an alter ego.”

“Be sensible, Alexandra, what else could it be?”

“Bye, Mom.”

Alex sits for a moment with their thumb pressed forcefully against the hang up button, phone held in a white-knuckle grip as they wait for the anger in their chest to become exhaustion, prickling humiliation flickering up the back of their throat and wrapping around their ears, crackling and buzzing and burning as they shake their head and swallow, scrambling off the floor and pulling on shorts with trembling fingers.

“See you, Lane,” is all they can manage, avoiding Lucy’s gaze, headphones jammed in as they set off on a run that leaves them aching and sore in a different way, a better way, and it’s nearly enough to numb the memory of Eliza’s words circling around Alex’s head like vultures around prey.

They arrive at their first lecture with two minutes to spare and a piece of toast jammed in their mouth. That they’re jumping down the steps as the professor watches the clock only adds to the tight coil of anxiety in the pit of their stomach, as does seeing someone sitting at the end of their row.

“Sorry,” Alex mutters as they slip past the girl to their favourite seat and collapse into it with a huff.

“You look like someone spat in your coffee.” The girl picks up the handful of pens Alex managed to knock off her pad of paper as they brushed past. Alex ignores her, and after a moment of watching them, they see her shrug and return to whatever she was doodling.

They can’t focus. It’s usually their favourite lecture of the week, but this time the words swim in one ear and out the other. They have a dim thought that they can’t afford to lose another day to distractions after the Mendelssohn incident, before the thought plummets into a repeat of the morning’s conversation and they snap their pen lid in half.

“There’s – I’m – it’s – I’m - ” Alex forces themselves to take a breath. Kara grips their knee tighter. “There’s a word. Words? A phrase. Non-binary. It means – obviously, you know what it means, I know you know what it means, but in this context, it – neither male nor female. That’s me. I’m in the middle, somewhere, Mom. I’m non-binary. I’m non-binary. It fits me. Really well, I think it does, and I wanted to tell you, I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, that I’m non-binary, and I think I can be – no, I know I can be happy like that. Like this.”

The lecture flies.

It flies, and Alex somehow fights the static in their head to scrawl three pages of notes and several diagrams, harsh scribbles framing each page from each time their mind wanders.

They move between classes on auto-pilot, head down, shoulders curling in against their will, trying, desperately, to slip into the gap between black and white, left and right, up and down and here and there and all the yes-no options that seem to loom out at them, taunting, cruel, hurting.

Eliza doesn’t say anything, and Alex alternates between looking at her and looking at Kara’s hand running soothing circles on their knee.

“How long?” Eliza says eventually.

“What?”

“How long? You said you’ve wanted to tell me for so long. How long, Alexandra?”

Alex swallows and Kara shuffles closer. “Just before Dad.”

Nervous energy builds in them all day and everything is too loud, too close, too against them. They flinch at every pronoun, ears straining to make sure the crowds are talking about the professor, the lab technician, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents – anyone but them.

Alex is still shaking when they find Lucy outside, waiting for them, and they nod automatically when she asks if they’re okay.

“Al,” she says softly and Alex kicks one foot against the wall.

“How was your day?”

Their voice is rough, their jaw stiff, and they block out its imperfect pitch with a slow exhale.

“Fine,” Lucy says, and Alex thanks Rao they’ve known each other so long she can read them like a book as Lucy starts explaining her new module.

Concrete and cobbles pass under their feet with increasing speed as they nod along to Lucy. They hum in the right places, offer indignant agreements where needed, and it’s nice, it’s almost normal, and as the pair pull up to their door Alex nudges Lucy’s arm with a small smile. Lucy gives them a nod, and Alex almost considers admitting that they’re not okay before they see their bed in the same state they left it that morning and they know that if they start to talk about it there’s no knowing what will come out.

“You lied to me all these years?”

“I didn’t lie to anyone - ” Alex protests.

“This is you coping, isn’t it?”

Alex frowns. “I don’t - ”

“We’ve all taken his death hard, but deciding you’re not a woman – that is it, isn’t it? – just to try to take your father’s place is a touch too far, don’t you think?”

“That’s not - ”

“Do you think he would be proud of this?”

“I - ” Alex closes their eyes. “I don’t know, I think so - ”

“And I suppose you want to change your name? You want to reject the name we picked out so carefully for you, just to satisfy this little teenage rebellion, this latest cry for attention?”

“No.” Alex’s eyes snap open and Kara’s pulling them into her shoulder. “No, I like Alex. Just Alex. I always have, Mom, I’m not changing that.”

Eliza squints at them. “But you want something else changing,” she says quietly.

Alex debates not asking, not giving her the ammunition, but dammit they’re already living through their second worst nightmare and they might as well go all in.

“I want to use they/them pronouns,” they whisper, and Eliza’s eyes harden.

“You want me to refer to you, my daughter, as ‘them’?”

“Plenty of people do it. It’s not that unusual.”

“And how many eminent scientists do you know who are referred to as ‘them’, Alexandra?”

“There are some, it doesn’t have to stop me being a scientist, I’ve looked into it, I promise - ”

“The world makes fun of people like that. Non-binaries.” Eliza says it matter-of-factly and Kara makes to stand as Alex tugs on her sleeve to stop her.

“People like me, Mom,” they say quietly, and Kara is glaring at Eliza, and a last chance blooms, flickers in their chest even as the hurt blazes across Eliza’s face. “This is me. It is. I’m sorry if you can’t see that, but it is.”

Their voice cracks and they swallow hard. Eliza finally runs out of words and gives a slow nod.

“I think it’s time we all went to bed,” she says, despite the fact it’s only eight in the evening. “Some things are better discussed after a good night’s rest.”

She strides past them and up the stairs, and Alex stares after her.

“You know things,” Alex begins, and Lucy quirks an eyebrow.

“Flatterer.”

“Shut up,” Alex says, and a smile threatens their lips. “You know the bars around here.”

“Careful, Danvers, you’ll give me a reputation,” Lucy says, but she sits up from her bed and watches Alex as they stare up at the ceiling from flat on the floor.

“You already have a reputation, nothing I could do would change that.”

“Oh, I don’t know, I’m sure we could think of something.”

Alex does smile this time and their chest eases slightly. “Anyway, I thought you could show me around this evening.”

“Around?”

“You know, bars. Clubs. Anywhere that’ll sell me something strong enough to forget about today.”

Lucy hesitates. “Alex…”

“Come on, Luce. You’ll look after me, right?”

Alex’s eyes are wide and Lucy knows the exact feeling they’re trying to drown and she sighs, because she will look after them like they look after her, and she feels a whole lot happier knowing that their well-being is in her own hands than those of some near-stranger who might see an inebriated Alex as an easy target.

“Get your coat, Danvers.”

“Al?” Kara’s voice is low and gentle and soft and Alex lurches into her with a strangled sob, fingers clawing at her back as Kara hugs them back. “I’ve got you, I’ve got you, Alex.”

“You’re so strong, Al.”

“You’re so brave.”

“I love you, Alex. I love you so much.”

Alex doesn’t know how long it takes for the tears to dry up. They have a crick in their neck but they don’t care, and their back twinges where they’ve been tucked into Kara’s neck because they’re still taller than she is, even though the gap is closing with each passing week.

They open their mouth to apologise but Kara hushes them with a gentle kiss to their forehead.

“I don’t know how you did that, Alex. You’re incredible.”

Alex barks out a laugh. “I’m anything but incredible.”

Lucy gets asked for ID and Alex doesn’t, and that’s when they know it’s going to be a good night.

“It’s a height thing,” they explain. Lucy kicks their shin.

“You’re a height thing.”

“And that devastating display of maturity is why they shouldn’t’ve ID’d you, I’m sure.” They inspect the rows of bottles behind the counter. “Any recommendations?”

Lucy waves two fingers at the barman.

“Ah, a mystery. I can live with a mystery,” they say.

Lucy places a bottle of something – beer, Alex’s sniff confirms – in front of them and clinks the neck of her bottle against theirs. “Just drink, you nerd.”

Alex does, and they remind themselves to stick with Lucy as a drinking buddy because damn that is good, and they down half the bottle in one breath, to Lucy’s amusement.

“So,” they say in between gulps. “You come here often?”

Lucy snorts and Alex watches, unimpressed, as she flounders for a tissue.

“You know what I meant,” they huff, and Lucy pats their arm and clears her throat.

“Sure.” They go to knock the bottom of her bottle towards her and she jolts out of the way, sniggering. “Law study groups often end up here, that’s all.”

“Ah.” They drain their bottle and gesture for another. “We usually use the library, but same difference.”

“I think there are fewer straight white men with bigoted opinions in bioengineering, Alex,” Lucy says. Alex stretches, head tilting.

“You’re probably not wrong,” they say as they accept their next drink. “I could make a joke about alcohol being the solution, but I won’t.”

Lucy snorts again and Alex grins and they’re doing a great job of blotting out Eliza’s voice until they hit the shots, and each one is knocked back to the tune of another accusation, another careless word flung in their direction.

“‘They’ sounds like an inanimate object, Alex.”

“Stop making a fuss.”

“Give me a break, Alexandra. This is tough for me too, you know.”

Freak.

Daughter.

Problem.

Sister.

Exaggeration, complication, issue, broken, wrong, nothing, no one, wrong, empty, wrong.

Worthless.

“Oh, look.”

Alex swipes at their cheeks and inspects their damp fingers.

“No more, Al,” Lucy says gently and shakes her head at the barman as Alex sways on the stool. “Let’s get you home.”

Alex slumps. “Home?”

“The dorm,” Lucy corrects, and pulls Alex towards her, propping them up as she settles the tab.

“Oh,” Alex mumbles. They swing their arm over Lucy’s shoulder and sigh. “Home. Home is where the…” They frown.

“Come on, champ.” Lucy guides them towards the door as Alex searches for the rest of the phrase under their breath, counting off words on their fingers, coming to a halt every couple of steps as it comes and goes through their mind too quickly for them to channel the words to their mouth.

“I can’t remember it,” they mumble as Lucy lays them on their bed. “What is it?”

“What’s what, Danvers?” Lucy guides Alex into pyjamas and hands them a bottle of water. “Drink.”

“Home. Something about home. And – organs. Not music. Blood, and – tissue, organs.”

“Home is where the heart is. Drink.”

Alex drinks obediently and sighs. “The heart. Lub-dub.”

Lucy rolls them under their duvet and points sternly to the water bottle. “Lub-dub indeed.”

“Lub-dub,” Alex agrees, and continues drinking. “Heart. Do you think my heart will ever stop hurting?”

They sound so broken that Lucy’s own heart tugs, and she pulls them into a gentle but tight hug.

“Sure it will, Danvers,” she says softly. “It just needs time.”

“Time-distance-velocity,” they say wisely. “A nice triangle.”

Lucy chuckles. “Nerd.”

“I like triangles.”

“Okay, Alex.”

“And squares.”

“Go to sleep.”

“And circles. They go round and round and right round baby right round - ”

“Go to sleep, Danvers.”

[rfa-headcanons-blog]

Birthday memoir (Jaehee)

Okay, I know it’s really late -- but was there a time I was timely with a timed prompt? Here’s a belated birthday story for Jaehee! (28 December)

~ Ion

“Happy birthday Jaehee!”

The champagne bottle popped as screams and laughter erupted in the room. Everybody in the RFA was here -- even Jumin, who was sulking in a corner as he sorted out with Yoosung about the work they had to do. Seven was running around the room in joy as foam was forming out of the bottle; you cringed at the action, only thinking about how much work you and Jaehee had to clean the cafe later. Zen meanwhile crossed his arms and shrugged, before asking, “So, what are we doing later?”

“Oh, we are playing DVDs of your musicals later,” you eagerly replied to Zen. Jaehee’s eyes sparkled in joy, obviously excited to watch the musicals.

Zen could only smile at her enthusiasm. It had been so long she managed to be this happy. After a while though, he had a thought. “Hey, Jaehee? What got you into musicals?”

“Oh, that’s a long story…” Jaehee blushed slightly as the both of you stared at her, curious about the story.

“Tell us,” you urged as Zen nodded in agreement.

Jaehee’s face only got redder when you two kept waiting, wanting an answer for her. “Okay, I’ll tell you, just don’t laugh, okay?”

(Three years ago)

Jaehee blinked her eyes, flustered. Did she fall asleep again? Finals were coming soon and she had to have fallen asleep right now, of all times? If she failed the finals, her scholarship would be revoked. What would happen then?  How behind was she on her schedule? How long to her next paper? When was the next class?

That was actually a good question, when is the next class? Jaehee rushed to check her timetable on her calendar app -- It was in two hours’ time, in the late afternoon. She gave out a sigh of relief before preparing herself for class.

She flinched slightly as her aunt shouted at her to “not come back”, but it was a norm by then. She walked out to the nearest bus stop, travelling to school.

Everything was going fine, in all honesty. Travelling from the bus stop to school was okay. Walking through the corridors were also peaceful. When she entered the lecture hall, there was only a huge commotion about somebody.

Jaehee could only sigh -- the good seats at the front row were already gone by then. She just took a seat nearby, before noticing two classmates who were in the same major as she was in approaching her. They comfortably took their seats beside her as Jaehee went to greet the twins.

“Hello, Da Eun and Eun Byeol.”

“Hi, Jaehee!” The sisters replied in unison, before sitting beside her. Jaehee nodded, unpacking her bag and getting ready for the lecture when Da Eun struck a conversation with her.

“Do you know that Song Joon Hyun will be acting in a musical after finals? I’m so excited! Are you going to the musical?” Da Eun laughed in joy, her eyes sparkling.

“... Who’s that?” Jaehee raised her eyebrow.

Eun Byeol bit her lip, shaking her head in disappointment as Da Eun slammed onto the table, causing a loud crack. “Kang Jaehee! How could you not know who Song Joon Hyun is?”

Jaehee could feel everyone’s eyes staring onto her. She could only give a stiff laugh, before answering, “...because I have been studying?”

Da Eun shook her head. “Oh no, studies can wait. You’re coming with us for the musical. You have to. You must. I will even get a ticket for you to watch the musical.”

Eun Byeol only gave a sympathetic look as the other students soon went back to their own conversation, now commenting about how Jaehee could not know about the actor. She tried to pull Da Eun away by involving her in another conversation, which Jaehee was very thankful of. “By the way lil’ sis, you broke the table. It’s not attached to the chair anymore.”

“Oh. Nevermind, it’s not like the others will notice. We must get Jaehee to watch the musical, okay?”

Well, it was not like he was incredibly famous or anything, right?

Wrong.

Jaehee could not even believe the queue she was standing with the twins. Not only she had seen many of the University students she knew in the queue, there was a wide range of people who were interested in the musical too; from teenagers to middle age adults. One thing for sure was that how there were a lot of females in the line, waiting to enter the theatre.

When they finally entered, the lights dimmed. The show was about to start, as the curtains pulled apart slowly before the whole theatre screamed “Song Joon Hyun” as he stood centre stage. In fact, Da Eun was crying tears of happiness when she saw him.

Jaehee only glanced at Eun Byeol worriedly. “Is Da Eun okay?”

The older sister just shrugged, “it’s normal. She’s just fangirling. Not everyone has the chance to see him in real life, after all.”

The theatre was silent moments after the audience calmed themselves down, but it soon was loud again as the opening song for the musical started. The star of the musical was dancing as many of the audience started swooning over him. It was a sight to behold, but Jaehee was not really interested. She was being analytical instead, silently criticising the dancers. The backup dancer at the left was slow by a few beats. The star was also slightly too fast. Are you telling me this musical cost 70,000 won to watch? This is just--

Eun Byeol shook Jaehee’s arm slightly. “Just enjoy the show. You’re not studying or taking a test now, so just relax. Look at Da Eun.”

By now, Da Eun was actually hopping on the theatre chair, jumping to the beat as she sang along with the star. Jaehee seriously questioned her for a few moments, fearing that she might break another property within a month but seeing how the chair was withstanding the abuse, she decided to ignore it. “Well, she looks like she’s having fun.”

“She is. It’s a musical Da Eun has repeatedly watched and while she knows it’s not the best musical out there, but she’s still enjoying it. That star is famous for acting anyways, not musicals.”

Oh. That’s why there were so many people in the first place.

Jaehee sighed, lying against the chair. “If you say so, Eun Byeol. But if I don’t enjoy it--”

“Yes, I am willing to pay for the ticket. But I believe that there will be some parts you’ll enjoy, at the very least.”

As the show went on, she was entertained by it -- it was okay, but there was no spark which made it “great”. As the musical reached its climax, the star was singing about how depressing life could be when she noticed a few people standing behind him, as if they were mannequins.

Jaehee’s focus went away from the star and instead landed on one of the mannequins. Although he was wearing all black, it caused his white hair to stand out from the other mannequins. The others shifted slightly, moving a bit all the time while he stood still, silent.

It was like he was a real one. That was professional of him.

Jaehee continued to watch before the “mannequins” came to life. What she did not expect was the “mannequins” to strip their tops off, now revealing their bodies. She gave out a loud scream as he threw off this shirt to the side, actually taking in pleasure from his looks.

She felt that he was really charming. He confidently strode up alongside the star with the other calefare. His actions were definitely stronger and louder than the star’s. Although he did not have any lines, she was just attracted to him, more than the main character of the musical for sure.

She just could also not break away from his eyes -- it was filled brim of sadness, suitable for that scene. Was it because it was just acting? Or was it his real emotions? He was not only a good actor but also an amazing dancer. To have such great looks too, he was just so lovely.

Soon after, the song ended. The star was left alone as Jaehee whined slightly, before realising that the twins were looking at her, shocked. “What?”

“You just screamed,” Da Eun gasped, “I can’t believe you actually can fangirl.”

“See?” Eun Byeol smiled at her, “the musical is amazing.”

And the musical was amazing because of him.

Before they left the theatre, Jaehee took a booklet containing the synopsis and people involved in the musical. After the twins said goodbye to her, Jaehee flipped open the booklet, making a beeline for the character list.

“... Act 8. Starring Song Joon Hyun, Lee Dabeen, Yoo Ji Hye and ZEN.” She raised an eyebrow. ZEN? That had to be a stage name, right? Does that mean he was a professional after all? She pulled out her phone, researching about him.

She immediately was welcomed with a picture of him topless. Jaehee’s face flushed red, looking at his abs immediately. Okay, she could not really see well because how they were in the back row, but from the picture, he really had good abs. “Promiscuous Jalapeno Topping…” She told herself to watch it when she got back home.

“... And soon, after watching that musical, I started liking Zen more and more. His acting was amazing, his actions, looks, oh and his--” Jaehee turned around to see that Seven was recording Jaehee fangirling the whole time. “Luciel, stop that recording, now.” She walked up to him threateningly as he stifled a laugh, before running away. “Luciel, come back!”

You only smiled at her, before Zen started talking to you. “She has changed a lot,” he commented.

“I would say you played a big part in it, Zen.”

“Oh no, I didn’t. I just got her into musicals, that’s it. You are the one who set her free.” Zen smiled as the two of you watched Jaehee and Seven fighting for a bit.

Jaehee jumped slightly, trying to reach out for his phone while Seven being taller than her, just raised his hand. All she could do was to give him a death glare, before she slowly sighed, throwing her hair back, frustrated with how Seven now had “blackmail” material against her.

The two of you just laughed at the sight of it. Jaehee returned to the two of you, calmer now, but her fingers were wringing onto her long locks of hair slightly. “That was rather childish of Seven.”

You could only chuckle, which caused Jaehee to crack up a smile. She was just so beautiful, and you were so happy that she was your partner. You gave her a hug as she returned it to you wholeheartedly.

“I am so thankful to have you. Thank you for being with me.”

“Welcome. Happy birthday, babe.”

[whatwewrotepodcast]

Tales of Toby

So I think Emma has posted a few excerpts about a character named Liam. So here is one from Toby’s POV. This is a NA LGBT fiction story and was basically just us messing around. We have plans to revisit Liam and Toby’s story as a High School drama, but in this incarnation they are at uni :)

Toby felt like the hunchback of Notre Dame as he bent over his desk, copying notes down onto his notebook. He was one of the few students in the class that didn’t bring a laptop to write on. He preferred writing everything down – in a form of shorthand that he developed back in high school. He felt like writing them down etched them into his brain, committing each scratch of pen on paper to his memory. He kept soft copies of his notes too, of course. Later that night he’d transcribe all of his notes into a word document. Another key step to remembering what he wrote down, he supposed. He was pretty sure most of the students in this class would never open their word document again, let alone read their notes. If they were taking any, that is.

He glanced up, flexing his wrist absently and looking over a few of the other people in the class. Most looked like they were making an effort. Biophysics wasn’t exactly a class for the weak hearted, which tended to weed out the slackest of slackers. But even so he could spot a few people with the tell-tale glaze over the eyes. He could see one girl, Stacey, sneaking selfies of herself from under the table. Toby rolled his eyes and turned back to his notes. He’d been in a few classes with the ditty blonde girl now, and he knew she essentially flirted her way through them. She was pretty in that typical pale skin, big green eyes and doll-like make up kind of way. If you liked that sort of thing, he supposed.

“Mr Zhao, yes?” the lecturer interrupted his explanation abruptly, making Toby look up in surprise. “You’re late.”

He was standing in the doorway and Toby’s breath fell suddenly, unexpectedly short. He was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. Almost like he’d walk straight out of one those trashy romance books he occasionally caught Delilah reading. He wore blue jeans and a fitted black t-shirt that clung to the muscles over his chest and shoulders. He had a black leather jacket slung over his shoulder, the kind of jacket that a motorbike owner might wear.

“Sorry. I had to go to the office and sort out my timetable.” He replied, unruffled by the lecturers accusations. His voice was soft, though it carried straight to Liam well enough that he could hear the slight accent, Chinese he was sure. It was just enough to give his words an unfamiliar, almost musical, lilt.

“You’ll be behind.” The lecturer nodded. Toby swallowed back his snort of derision, turning back to his notes. That was an understatement. The class had started weeks ago, “Mr O’Keefe can catch you up. I suggest you take a seat next to him.” He said, then continued with his lesson without pausing. Toby blinked at the lecturer, though he shouldn’t be surprised. This wasn’t the first class he had with him. And he no doubt knew that Toby would be the only one with reliable notes. He turned his gaze back to the new comer, Mr Zhao, and felt his mouth go dry.

Damn, he thought, watching him as he rocked on his heels, evidently looking for the elusive Mr O’Keefe. He was distractingly good looking. He finally caught Toby’s gaze and lifted a brow a little in question. Toby nudge his chin up in assent, grabbing his book bag off the table next to him in invitation. Mr            Zhao took a deep breath, as though mentally preparing himself for the beginning of his education before starting towards him. As he got closer, Toby saw that his initial assessment of the guys attractiveness was vastly understated. He had soft, gold-brown skin, all but flawless. His eyes were pitched so dark they were almost black, and they sat in slightly slanted in his face, a sweet almond shape to them. His hair was spiked, neat in that deliberately tousled kind of way. It was dark and thick and looked perfect for running fingers through it.

He reached the desk and dropped his jacket over the back of the seat before sliding into it. He gave Toby what could only be called an appraising look.

“I don’t think we’ve been introduced.” He said, his voice soft, pitched low so as not to disturb the other students. A small smile was playing on his lips as he offered him his hand. “Liam.”

Toby reached out and took his hand. It was warm, his graceful fingers curving delicately around Toby’s. He spotted the hint of a tattoo poking out from underneath the arm of his t-shirt. A collection of Chinese characters on his bicep, he thought, though he didn’t dare let his gaze linger.

“Tobias.” He replied, even as his heart rate rose. “I think I’ve seen you around.” He added. Though truthfully he couldn’t be sure. It was all he could think of saying other than ‘I love your fucking face.’ Liam gave his hand a brief squeeze before letting him go, giving him an interested look.

“You have?” he asked, tipping his head to the side. Toby hesitated, feeling more the fool. If he had seen Liam around, apparently Liam hadn’t seen him.

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “You got the chapter?” he asked then, tapping on the open textbook in front of him. Liam didn’t answer right away, instead he regarded Toby, a little more intensely than one would expect from a new acquaintance. It was bordering on awkward when he finally replied.

“No. I haven’t had a chance to purchase my textbooks yet.” He said, glancing down the front to where the lecture was flicking through some slides. “I am sure I can catch up on my own, if you need to listen.” He added, lifting his dark brows.

“It’s fine. I’d give you my notes, but…” he trailed off, glancing down to his cryptic notes. If nothing else, the short hand deterred people like Stacey trying to sit next to him. “So, you haven’t even done the readings?” he asked then, unable to hide the note of disapproval from his tone. Liam’s eyes fell to Toby’s notebook, the corner of his mouth quirking up in the half smile again. Fuck, he sounded like the guys tutor or something. Clearly he had better things to do than study. Like riding his motorbike and getting tattoos.

“No. I’ve already done three semesters of biology, and one of biochem.” He defended his intelligence. Toby lifted a brow a little. Maybe he wasn’t a completely lost cause after all.

“And physics?” he pressed. Liam grimaced.

“Not so much.” He admitted. “I understand thermodynamics, energy and matter transfer. Not much more than that though.” The way he said it made it sound like it physically pained him to admit he didn’t know something. Toby admired him though, for not pretending as though he did know it all. He made sure he schooled his expression into something neutral so that Liam didn’t feel as though he were being judged.

“Okay. Well, at the moment we’re discussing protein dynamics.” He told him, tapping a figure on the text book with the end of his pen. “And the transitions between thermodynamics and kinetics.” He added. Liam leaned a little closer across the space between the desk and Toby hastily slid the textbook towards him so that he didn’t have to keep coming. Damn, he smelled as good as he looked. He watched him as he read, the corner of his mouth pulling back as he concentrated.

“Mmhm. I understand this.” He said. “This is the equation?” Toby nodded.

“For the thermodynamics only. The kinetics is here,” he turned the pages over to the one marked a little later, pointing to the paragraph in question. Liam studied that, and Toby studied him. He trailed the tip of his tongue over his lower lip and Toby found himself copying the movement. He stopped himself quickly when Liam looked up at him.

“I see.” He said. Toby wasn’t sure if his gaze was intense, or if his skin was prickling just because of his proximity. “What is this code you use?” he asked then, releasing him from his eyes and looking down at his notebook. Toby straightened as though a physical weight had been lifted off his shoulders when Liam had looked away.

“It’s mine.” He said. A corner of his mouth quirked up, that playful little smile making it appearance again.

“I see that.” He replied, amused. “Show me.” Toby hesitated, his brows lowering warily. No one had paid any particular attention to his short hand before, beyond the quick curious looks to see if they could be copied surreptitiously. He slid his notes across to him warily. Hell, if he could figure out the code, the boy deserved the right to copy the notes.

Liam pulled the notebook across in front of him and hunched over it. He studied it for a long time, his eyes moving carefully over the collections of scratchy symbols. He saw his mouth twist a little, concentrating on the code like he had the equation in the textbook.

“What is this one?” he asked finally, pointing to a symbol. Toby dragged his eyes away from his face to look at what he was pointing at.

“With.” He answered.

Liam made a quiet sound, though what that meant, Toby couldn’t fathom, and slid the book back to him. “Your handwriting is messy.” he added. Toby arched a brow as he pulled his notebook close again. What the hell kind of comment was that?

“So’s your hair.” He muttered, curving his arm around his notebook defensively, hiding it from Liam’s view and turning back to the projection at the front of the class, hastily scratching some more notes down in defiantly messy fashion. A quicksilver grin flashes across Liam’s face, like lightning splitting against the horizon, brief but stunning and illuminating in the dark.

“It’s intentional.” He assured him quietly, leaning back casually in his chair, crossing his ankles under the desk and folding his arms across his chest, the picture of nonchalance. Toby rolled his eyes, doing his best to ignore him. He paused to flex the tightness of his wrist before turning his full attention back to the class.

Granted, it was difficult. He managed to copy down all the notes, but he definitely didn’t think about what he was writing down at all. How could he? It was like Liam was deliberately trying to unsettle him. He refused to look at him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel the burn of his gaze boring down on him. Was he even listening to the lesson? Was he planning to learn by osmosis? Or was he plotting to mow him down with his flashy black motorbike later. It was probably a black one. Or maybe it was red. He’d look good on red.

Finally the lecturer finished and dismissed the class. Toby began to pack up his things. Liam didn’t move, though he had absolutely nothing to pack up given that he hadn’t taken anything out. It occurred to him that he was loitering there when Toby went to stand up and found him facing him, his cool gaze now showing a hint of something that he hadn’t expected to see. Uncertainty.

“Tobias.” He said finally. “Thankyou. For letting me read your notes.��� Toby glanced down at his satchel where his notebook now resided.

“No worries. Dunno what good they were to you.” He said, given that he wouldn’t have been able to read them. Liam’s mouth curved in that little smirk at all, like he was the only one privy to a little inside joke, and lifted one shoulder.

“I’m a quick study.” He said as he picked up his jacket. Whatever that means, Toby thought dryly. “See you around.” He added as he shrugged the leather on over his shoulders. Toby tried not to watch too closely. You could tell a lot about a person from the way they put their clothes on. Like the way they might take their clothes off. Or the way the might move when free of the restraint of fabric.

“Uhuh.” Toby all but grunted. “If you need help catching up. Let me know. You should probably get your textbook soon. You won’t last long without it.” He said. He gave him that little smile again, shrugging his shoulders to settle his jacket more comfortably.

“Thanks for the tip.” He said dryly, finally stepping back to let him pass. Toby clenched his fist by his side. What was he, Tutor Toby all of a sudden?

“Anytime. See you next time.” He responded, mimicking Liam’s dry tone. He hesitated, but short of hurdling over the desks, there was no other way around, and Liam didn’t seem to be planning to move. Toby had another class starting at the opposite end of the uni in 15 minutes though, so he braced himself to sidle past him, slipping between Liam and the desk, brushing closer than he found completely comfortable. He caught a waft of Liam’s sweet musk and heard his intake of breath, feeling the air rush past his ear.

“Next time.” He murmured. Toby shouldered his bag a little more comfortably, giving him one last nod before turning and heading out of the room at a pace that could only be called a ‘run’. He told himself it was because he was worried about being late for the next class. But in reality, he knew better.

Fuck.

[retireearlyandtravel]

New Post has been published on https://www.retireearlyandtravel.com/eurail/

Eurail - What You Need to Know Before Traveling Europe

Riding a train through Europe with Eurail is something we always wanted to do. However, as we got older, we thought that Eurail was mostly for backpackers. Many backpackers use the Eurail system because it is so cost effective. After traveling through Europe for 42 days, we are here to say that just about anyone of any age can have a wonderful travel experience with Eurail. We learned so much of the do’s and don’ts of European train travel. Things I wish we knew before we left. We love train travel, and we would do it again, but there are things you need to know to make it easier and less stressful.

Buying the Pass

Let us start by creating a schedule and booking the tickets. You probably heard about the freedom you have with a Eurail ticket. Just show up at the train station and get on the next train going to your destination. Yes, that is possible, but we are planners. Moreover, just showing up in the hope that there is room on the train or that there is even a train going to your destination that day is something we did not want to experience. Our preference was to find the train we were going to take ahead of time, and since we purchased a first-class Eurail pass, we could buy a seat reservation (sometimes mandatory) for a little extra money.

The first thing you need to do is purchase your Eurail pass. The Eurail website has an excellent system that will help you choose the best pass to buy. You enter the number of days traveling and the countries and/or cities you are going to,  and it will suggest the best options. We had the Eurail Global Pass for ten train days over 2-months. That means we could travel on trains ten days over a 2-month period. We went to nine countries,  so this worked out perfect.

Reservations

Once you receive your Eurail passes in the mail, you can begin any needed reservation requests. The easiest way to see the train schedules and make reservations is through the self-service Eurail reservation system. From this system, you can enter the country and city you want to depart from and arrive at, and you will see the options for that day. It is straightforward. It will show you if you have to change trains or if reservations are mandatory. Once you make all of your selections, you submit it to Eurail for processing. You need to allow time for Eurail. It took almost two weeks to have my choices processed and approved. Once they email you that everything is right, you can go into the system, accept and pay for the reservations.

The tickets are either e-tickets or paper. Of the nine trains we took in Europe, not one was an e-ticket. I found it very strange that they still used paper tickets. We had our reservation tickets sent to the first hotel we stayed at in Europe. They were there when we arrived

First Day on the Train

We flew into Zagreb Croatia. That is where our Europe trip started. Our first trip on the train was to our second destination, Ljubljana Slovenia. We got to the train station about an hour early. However, it turns out; there is really no need to get to any station much earlier than 30 minutes. Because the station does not assign a platform to the train until 30 minutes before arrival. Therefore, you have to stay in the central area looking up at the signage waiting for your train’s platform assignment.

Once our train was assigned, we made our way to the bottom of the platform and came to the stairs. In this station, there was no elevator or escalator. We both had suitcases of about 50 lbs. So we (or should I say “I”) had to carry them up the stairs. It would have been easier if we could have packed lighter but being away for six weeks and toting a bunch of camera gear made that difficult. Once on the platform, we just waited for the train.

Trains Don’t Stay Still for Long

One thing you have to remember is that the trains do not stop at the stations for very long. Maybe three or if you are lucky, ten minutes. Therefore, you have to get on the train quickly. The challenge is finding the car you need to get on. This only applies if you have a reservation with an assigned seat. When the train comes in, you watch for the car with your number on it and then quickly head for it. Once on the train, you need to find a place to stow your luggage.

There is always overhead storage by your seats but not always big enough if you are carrying medium or large suitcases. So we learned that you put your luggage anywhere you can find a place that does not block the aisle. Only on a couple of the trains we took did they have a dedicated luggage area. One time, there was no place but over our heads to put our suitcases. Luckily, I am in decent shape so lifting the 50 lb. suitcase overhead to the storage went without incident.

Lessons from Train Rides through Nine Countries

The first train ride was a little stressful but only because it was unknown. After the first one, we were pros. We continued to learn new lessons on European train travel throughout the nine countries. I decided to summarize what we learned in hopes that it will help you ease the fear of traveling through Europe on Eurail.

First Class or Not? We looked at the seats on every train, and I can tell you that the first class seats really were more spacious and comfortable. Therefore, if you can afford the little extra, I would go for it.

Allow Enough Time. Remember that it took 2 weeks to hear back from Eurail for reservations so make sure you allow enough time including the time needed to mail you any seat reservation tickets.

It’s not an Airport. Don’t bother arriving too early. There’s no need. Since you already have your ticket (Eurail pass) and possibly a reservation, you just go right to the train platform. Most stations don’t assign a platform to the train until 30 minutes before arrival.

Luggage. Keep in mind that you might have to carry your luggage up the stairs or put it overhead. Therefore, if you have any disability or are not that strong, you might have a problem. Some stations had elevators and some had luggage assist conveyors along the stairs. Moreover, nowhere in any of the countries we were in did we see porters at the train station to help you with luggage.

Here’s a 20-second video of the luggage lift in action

  Be Quick. The trains do not stop at the stations for very long, so you have to be quick getting on and getting off. When you are approaching your stop, you need to have your luggage ready and be waiting at the exit door. You will see everyone doing this. For your arriving train, some stations have displays that tell you where your car number is in line so you will know in advance where to stand on the platform. We found that to be very helpful in getting on the train timely.

Connections. If you have to make a connection, make sure you allow yourself enough time to get to the next train. Some stations are multi-level, and you might not know the platform to go to ahead of time. We had one connection in Berlin that was only 10 minutes. I would never advocate cutting it that close, but this was the last train out that day, so we had to try. Germany was one of our last countries on this trip, so we already were experienced train travelers and felt comfortable.

During the first leg of this train trip, the train was late. Therefore, we were apprehensive that we would make the Berlin connection. Luckily, Germany has a great train system. We talked to the train attendant, told him our problem, and asked him if he could find out the platform, our connecting train was on. A few minutes later, he came and told us the platform number.

The train never made up the time so we thought we would miss the connecting train. Nevertheless, we jumped off and hustled to the next train. It was already a minute over, but we saw the train still on the platform. We made it to the train 2 minutes late. A few minutes later when the train attendant took our ticket, he told me our previous train attendant radioed him and told him our situation. He said they held the train just for us since it was the last train out. So lesson learned, do not give up. You never know what could happen. Here is a shot of the train timetable app on my phone where you can see they waited for us.

Not All Trains are Created Equal. We found that the trains varied considerably from country to country. It was 90 degrees out and only 50% of the trains had air conditioning so dress appropriately. They also don’t all have the greatest bathrooms. Be sure to bring your own toilet paper or tissue. About 1/4 of the trains had none.

Hunger Pains Aren’t Fun. Not all trains had a dining car or sold any food. We had an 8-hour train ride, but luckily we brought our own food for the trip. I saw a couple people run off the train at stops to try and buy something but they risk not making it back in time. So play it safe and bring your own food.

Eurail across Europe

European train travel with Eurail truly was a great experience. We were a little apprehensive at first but soon realized it was easy. With train travel, you get more than a 30,000-foot airplane view of the landscape. You get to see small villages and meet new people along the way. Anyone can travel on a train with Eurail. It’s not just for backpackers.

A sample of the scenery from the train

[itsfallingforsnow-blog]

The year 2016 was really hard for me, well not really. I am thankful and grateful and there’s always be roller coaster that I want to throw up and ride again, and throw up and ride again, until we reach tomorrow! Life is an adventure, your own adventure. Some people have it different, or may be a bit similar. Mine? it goes like..

Warning: Please do grab a tea or coffee or coke with snacks, it will be a long one.

❀ The Lessons Learned

I was able to explore where I have always wanted to go and understand things more in terms of different point of view thanks to my boyfriend. To take better care of myself, to have someone to rely on and knowing it will be alright. Listen, to every conversations, taking note what one’s likings and one’s not, I keep on trying to understand but hardly accept if it’s things that are so different. Giving up, on some of my friendship, just because it’s poison. It’s alright, it’s fine to walk away, it will be hard to recall every funny moments we have made, the silly choices and little things that you used to remember, where now it’s just the past. To either learn or run from it. At this point, I am confuse between learn from the past or still running for it. In which leads me to trust issues. As for this part makes me insecure, is it a friend or just using me to get what he or she wants. Pretty nasty to have that mind set plug in me ever since I cut it off. Learning the hard way apparently.

“it’s the one you don’t see  coming. the one you trust who betrayal is most lethal. They know how to hit the lowest ..”

Kyrian

It still hit me hard, more than a break-up. The side effects? I hardly make new friends, if I do, the idea of second choice and third wheel gets in. Or just simply to get something for me, I get that a lot. Like, use the term friendship in exchange of money, who the hell do that? Well, I have been there, give it anyway. “Why are you so dumb” I know, as my mother always said, be kind but not too kind, people will use your kindness into something else. University life is hard, I am fine with individual report, but group report? more like eighty percent you twenty percent to oh-I-Have-Personal-other-modules-whatever-going-out-things-to-do-rather-than-helping. Tingtong! apparently we took 5 modules, yes different timetable and such but do take note it’s a group work not a free ticket. Ah life. I manage to report this case to my lecturer, YES I DID. Set up the date for meet up, at that day- transportation problem, I asked for a change of date, my lecture said she’s fine with it, BUT hey lets just go anyway, no need to rearrange another meeting. Nice, they went without me. Ah, life so much. I just let it be, +100 point to trust issues.

Besides all of that, getting to know my parents more every year is what motivates me. To know how much they love me, always and I do too. I might need to open up a bit, or not. Fighting inner demon is ugh, but I am glad to have someone to talk to and cry to.

❀ Best of The Year

The year where I Meet Farid, or get to know him, which is now my wonderful boyfriend.

Along the way getting to know, still.  something goes like “Really? Damn same! Hahaha I know.” and more, can’t write everything down. Or simply put how he sees me: curious to get to know to – hardly talk to – ay the best girlfriend ever!! to – my girlfriend is an otaku and a weirdo plus annoying af. That, I love him. To accept who I am, how much he cares and notice things.

Finally learn Japanese Language, since I have always wanted to watch anime without subtitle and go to Japan, eat all of the food, buys all of the CDs and Manga and Games and everything nice! #Wishlist

Officially Launch FallingForSnow, where I bought my own domain and show it off to my parents. Gain more readers, get to know some bloggers. Probably the year when I realized, damn there’s a lot of blogger in Brunei that I want to get to know but too insecure to do so. You see, I hardly talk to girls which I want to BUT ITS HARD IDK WHYYYY. even if someone left a comment got me all excited, and worried at the same time. sigh. Am I the only one?

To have black cat is all I have ever wanted as a cat person, which I do. Plus more than seven cats. All of those eyes, fluffiness and poop that you just have to deal with it.

Celebrate Boyfriend’s birthday! How To Surprise Your Boyfriend 101, I wanted to make something personal, which is a DIY explode box of our moments from day 1 with cute messages of course! A day before his birthday, trying so hard not to get caught, and more surprises from movie to dinner to two whole boxes of snacks. yep.

One of the best feelings – meeting numbers of people IRL recognized FallingForSnow,  WOOOOOOOH! “omg you’re fallingforsnow!“, “so you’re the one – that fallingforsnow” not in my wishlist, but damn it feels so good to know people do read my posts! Thank you! I appreciate that really.

❀ Worst of The Year

Stepping down. As you know or just do, I used to join student council. An official student council. They asked, the reason why do I want to join. Technically I do not know, I just do. But when they asked me infront of twenty or more hooman, Wanting to know my limit that’s what I said back in 2015. It comes to an end, I hardly manage my studies, my sleeping pattern messed up, I don’t eat as much – healthy food, to be honest stress af. To the day my father asked me to stop. I put way too much effort and time rather than studying. Yes, I do like to do, what I do being in student council. It hits me, yes to get the paper, might be the experience as well and management of events, but where do I go after that if I don’t take my studies seriously. Well you can manage your time? I tried, a year and I know myself I would put more efforts to activities. There was arguments to let go of me, which I don’t want to see fights between the council. I do remember things like, I finally talk to girls more than 5 THATS A LOT FOR ME, the struggle is real moments, the laughter, to have friends outside my circle, the joy when I was elected to be the Head of Entrepreneur Department thing . As soon as I left, that’s it. It was a good experience, but I don’t like the feeling of sort-of-left out-but-it’s-not, just a plain cut.

Group work – you know where this goes.

❀ Achievement of The Year

Blogging, is something that I never thought would be things that I am looking forward to write and post every week!

Managing events – Get to collaboration with Shin Cat Lover! If you are curious what was it all about click Coffee House 

Start Doodle, trying to learn new things, doodle seems fun, and it went well for a first timer, does not include when I was a kid.

A boyfriend to watch anime with HEHE! Achievement unlock.

Bought Lomo’instant (which still I don’t know how the hell to use it properly)

Went to Malam Ini Kita Punya Event, Spectacle 2016 Art & Design Graduation Show, Under Ground, YouMa, I do not go out often, it’s a new experience for me. Better than never.

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Explore Bandar Seri Begawan; Walk around, went to Museum and goes to Bandar Ku Ceria. Of course take tons of picture while so.

Watched tons of anime, like a lot! More than ever. Click here if you want to know all of the list!

Learn more about photography, thank you to my man.

No such thing as too much sushi! I like salmon, like like kind of like, yknow? that kind of like to rip money.

Win spicy noodle challenge HEHEHE. You know that Korean Noodle. yep it was gooooooooood.

❀ My First Time

Watch Sunsets at the beach, it was amazing!

Ate my first Mcdonald (yes, I know don’t judge me hooman I like Jolibee more.)

My first confession, it was…

First FaceTime – with my boyfriend of course and I fall asleep at our first FT. Nope we we’re not together yet at that time, noice move.

Had my first Coffee Bean – not a coffee person but please do add more chocolate

Bouquets of flower

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Sungkai outing with my boyfriend, again I do not go out often, if I do I hardly get the permission from my parents even with friends. Now with boyfriend? Approved? *Insert all of the emotions*

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Celebrate Raya (approved by parents) with my boyfriend (how exciting it was MAIGAD)

Bought my own Lomo’instant, it was expensive. Worth it? It cute but still learning how to – I don’t even know.

I do cook, but cooking with boyfriend is a new thing.

Korean food

❀ Favourite Class

Japanese Class

Business Law

Organisational Behavior

❀ Top Posts of FallingForSnow

Get To Know Me: 25 Questions

Theme: Songket

Wish list 2016

BEST OF JUNE: Surprises, Photography and To do List

What Matters & Giving Up 

❀ Messages to my Friends

To my friends,

thank you to my GP/Socio ex-classmate now japanese-buddies, you have been a great friend, more like the closest/coolest to me where I easily open up, even when I speak straight up Kedayan, probably the only Kedayan/Half blood kedayan friend I have. why does it sound so sad. Thank you for listening to my rants, and taking Japanese Language both level 1 and 2, although I suck at Oral test, for taking my pictures although both of us used to afraid of heights. Laugh at my lame jokes too.

thank you to the chippiness of my life, well isnt that obvious who am I thanking to. I know that I’m hardly around when you need someone to talk to, but I am glad to have you around since 2013. But damn, lost of contact this year I would say. Still, happy new year and wish you all the best in any paths you take. Stay awesome bruh!

thank you for the early years of food, food, food and some movies. The times that I have to stop you guys from buying clothes every week. I guess it was a good move (what) to call someone I do not know to sit next to me, and to left my ex-registration-mate when she needs help of direction. STILL SORRY! Overall I am glad to have you guys around, although I went missing and took different module last semester. Can’t thank you guys enough for being around.

lastly, thank you to わたしの友達 ( do you want to google translate that? Or.. it means my friends) from SBE SC, if you guys still think if your friend tho, or else its fine, its fine I shall summon my satans. Just kidding. Its been a great journey with you guys, will remember all those memories in my phone. I keep it on my phone – the picture – get it?

– ❀❀❀-

Note to boyfriend, ONLY IF HE’S ACTUALLY CHECKING,

I can’t thank you enough for all of the moments together, through ups and downs, you’re there for me, support me and also lead me. It’s been a wonderful year with you by my side. Another year to come, bare with me and lets write more  ❤︎

Thank you for everything love,

– ❀❀❀-

  Hows 2016 for you so far? Hopefully its good, although my timeline is full with people saying its shitty.

2017 post will be up soon enough!

  Yumie

Thank you 2016 The year 2016 was really hard for me, well not really. I am thankful and grateful and there's always be roller coaster that I want to throw up and ride again, and throw up and ride again, until we reach tomorrow!