#I am very furiously remembering why I never rewatched this episode in the last thirteen years

[khruschevshoe]

WEDDING OF RIVER SONG RANT INCOMING

Listen, I have nothing smart to say about this one. I'm trying to rewatch the Wedding of River Song and I literally keep stopping every thirty seconds to (OUT LOUD, mind you) shout at the screen "That's so. Fucking. Stupid. Stephen!" and then, in the moments I'm not commenting on how absolutely convoluted and full of plot holes it all is (how is the Doctor's death a fixed point when it never was before? Why does the world collapse like this? From where in River Song's plotline is the version of her in the astronaut suit stolen from? How is time collapsing and stopping at the same time? etc.) or how contrived it is that Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart's death is the one thing that makes the Doctor start running (I can feel you trying to make me think you're clever, Steve, and it's not working, because you only throw around beloved characters from previous eras when you want to distract me from your bad writing- I saw what you were doing with the holograms in Let's Kill Hitler), I'm rolling my eyes or being very sorely tempted to chuck my phone at the wall for just how sexist it all is. "Hell in high heels." The idea that alloromantic, heterosexual "sexy" love is the only thing that can save the universe. The fact that Amy can't remember Rory, her caring, nurse husband and instead only remembers a more stereotypically-masculine version of her husband (I am in your WALLS, Steve, why does every episode you write with them make them way more "traditional"/conservative than their one-offs do, no, I have not forgiven you for the Doctor asking "permission" in A Good Man Goes to War and Let's Kill Hitler).

By the way, did we EVER get an explanation as for why Silence Will Fall? Like, three seasons of build up and SILENCE NEVER FELL? (Why was there never any consequences for your writing, Steve?) Was the silence the cracks? Did the silence cause the cracks? Is silence falling supposed to just be the Doctor literally genociding the Silence (in which case Trenzalore has nothing to do with it) or is it supposed to be a metaphor? Or a literal deafening in volume? Will Steven Moffat ever listen for his crimes?

There were never any consequences for all of this "clever" build up and the Church of the Silence and gah, I want to poke it with a stick but if I poke it with a stick Moffat's Season 6 house of cards is going to collapse because not only is easily toppleable by the gentlest of breezes, it actively has cards missing.