#I am the most annoying blogger of all time im so sorry

[cartoon-skeleton]

I THOUGHT the lighter course load would save me this semester but IT DIDNTTTTT it’s like my brain couldn’t just hold out for one last semester of school. it short circuited literally the second school started back up. Bro come back I need u. Like I was so creative and productive over the break so I know my brain isn’t TOTAL mush. right. BLEASE im scared

[starnightlover]

Hey star, its your “🦋” anon!

This is probably stupid but i genuinely don’t know what to do. I really want to start applying the law and manifesting the things i desire, and i know how but i just cant stop procrastinating. I think part of it is the fear of wasting my time, like i have this pit of fear that it isn’t real ( which i know its silly cause it all makes sense but my brain just is so annoying lol ) and that makes me put off applying so to not disappoint myself i think. idk if that made sense but i seriously am stuck. im so sorry if this is an annoying repetitive ask

This isn't repetitive don't worry Iove! I've been in your shoes, it can feel scary and feel like you aren't in control, I understand! The reason you're going through is deferred occupancy! This means you're not applying the law right now! You're not occupying the wishfullfiled! You're waiting for the “perfect” time to start applying when you should be occupying now! You need to accept that you have your desire already! You are coming from a place of assuming your desires are desperate from you and not something you already have. You arent manifesting something, because you already manifested it! You see creation is finished, you thought of your desires thus it exists within your imagination, and imagination is the only true reality! Break the chains of the illusion of fear! That fear isn't real! It has no control over you! You are the god of your reality not even your own fear has control over you unless you give it power! Stop viewing your desires as something that isn't yours already, you need to occupy the wish fulfilled! Kick those doubts and fears to the curb and just breathe, I want you to just fulfill your desire within your imagination just for five minutes and see how you feel! Once you start doing this, allow yourself to do that everyday! Allow yourself to manifest, allow yourself to enter the state of already having what you want! I promise you the law is the most real thing ever, think about the thousands of success stories that are on Tumblr, Reddit, YouTube, tiktok, etc! Us bloggers wouldn't be here if the law wasnt real, we wouldn't waste our time on it! Remember who you are! You are the operant power, the ultimate creator of your reality! Nothing can stop you! Stop waiting, stop wishing, stop hoping, stop procrastinating, APPLY WHAT YOU KNOW! Your failure to accept that your desire is already yours is the only thing delaying your manifestation from appearing in the 3d, creation is finished! Your desire is yours, just allow yourself to accept this fact!

[scribblemetae]

Where I’ve been

Okay, so here is me with my explanation of where I've been for the past 2 months (and technically a little longer before I was radio silent)

This might drag a little and honestly I know most people dont tend to care about bloggers personal lives cos this place is ouR escape from reality so this is just for those who may have been wondering because I have had a few people ask.

I’ll pop it under a read more as to not annoy anybody with it.

tw. Family deaths, mental health issues, covid.

At the start of June, a very close family member of mine passed away making things very stressful for me. In the past 2 years ive lost a grandfather, a uncle, 2 aunties and now another family member. My head was just a little bit lost in the mess.

A week after hearing the news I contracted Covid, this is the second time ive had covid but sadly this time I was in hospital with it meaning I couldn't attended the funeral of said family member and I was extremely unwell both of these things really effected me.

A lot of stuff kinda all hit me at once and I ended up in hospital again due to mental health issues that became very serious and had me in a very bad state. I had to take a lot of time off work thus throwing me into some money problems and obviously making things a little bit harder for me.

I was given medication that I am currently taking for my depression now and the tunnel is seeming a lot brighter but my body took a long time to get accustom to my meds leaving me again, not doing so great.

I really am on the mend now and Im feeling a lot better, Ive had amazing people by my side and ive not been alone in fighting through this hard time. Ive always promised to be opened and honest with you guys and I always will be.

due to this all happening in such a small time it just left me slightly shook and had me somewhere that I wasn’t wanting to be and socialising just wasn’t on my list of cares and wants.

Im super behind on anything KPOP and that really saddens me but I plan on getting back to it! 

Im sorry I left you all for so long but im hoping to be way more regular and get back to writing for you guys <3 (I also posted this on my Stray kids blog for anybody who follows me there) 

Thank you all  

[movedthechangingman]

(1) I am watching atla for the first time and I know why zuko redemption worked while other’s (kylo, catara) failed, Zuko always has honor and was shown to care and make good decisions and be a good person even at his lowest points, like when he cared about his crew or tried to help and save a little kid even though the family and the kid ended up rejecting him, he never did something outrageous and he had time to learn and sort out his feelings before making a turn around and join the gang

putting this under a cut!

(2) azuko always acted upon what he believed was the right thing, once he was exposed to the outer world he learned how awful the fire nation was and the chain of abuse he was living in, he by himself made the decision and has 2 season in order to redeem himself while characters like Cassandra (tangled) and Catra had seasons of upping the stakes and acting more and more awful each time and only one season where the narrative are like “they were under someone else control and they were abused” (3) “so they nice blonde best friend who acts more like their sister and who they were abusing and victim blaming has to forgive them for everything bad they did because they were uwu abused too” and it seems many people like that which fine, if this was characterized as a delicate situation, where it could turns bad, which could turn to be even toxic, I wouldn’t have a problem with, but it is framed as beautiful and as good and as “true love!” (4) without the main aggressors Catra and Cassandra putting as much in their relationship as their blonde counterpart Adora and Raps who are forced to act as a matyr till they get fed up with their friends abuse and toxicity and put their foot down yet they always end up forgiving their abuser’s transgressions by the end somehow, it seems like the classic tale of “if he pulls your hair or means he likes you” which it’s most similar to (5) To the honeymoon or the reconciliation stage of an abusive relationship cycle’s, nothing assures you that the abuse won’t continue on but they sell it out as this wonderful and beautiful love story which it’s plain wrong, and I feel that it doesn’t receives as muy flack because it’s F/F but in reality in a relationship one has to be consistently good and reliable and as a bisexual women I feel like they are doing a disservice and it’s worse because it’s directed towards kids (5) and lastly both Wlw parings were being either outright mentioned or hinted at by the show or crew as this characters having a “sister bound” with Cassandra and Rapunzel Being outright being described as sisters in the show and Catara and Adora being described as that by the crew and with them growing having the same motherly figure and having a clear case of golden and scapegoat child, which coupled with the abuse they suffered at hands of their paternal figure and at each other hands makes the situation very gross

i have never seen ATLA outside of the first 3 eps but that is the general consensus ive heard. i have also never seen rapunzel TAS but i watched/read a bunch of spoiler stuff for it but i think my understanding is still loose. i also heard that he wasnt a villain very long idk how true that is though. but youre right from what im reading! i think it is important for your character to have an appropriate amount of time to make up for their actions... its also important with these redemption stories for the character to address the things they did, like not a “sorry for the things or whatever” but “i am sorry i did x , x, and x” etc IMO and there needs to be work put into making things right. and the victim should not necessarily be the one pushing them through that...

like i can say for certain if c*tra was a dude there would be a HUGE discourse about the fact that yeah, she really is that “mean because they have a crush on you” BS and whats most horrifying is that it seems like noelle saw NO problem with how she portrayed that relationship and all the guilt and suffering adra went through bc of ctra was really supposed to be romantic. fcking insane. like if it was just a fandom ship w.e.... ppl always gonna ship characters if they hate eachohter... but the actual creators saying its romantic is SO WTF abuse isnt negated by it being el gee bee tee rep and whats awful is i think people REALLY believe it is. not to mention uh your WLW love interest being an physically + emotionally volatile fascist who canonically does not care that she goes out to her way to aid violent takeover of innocents for a dictatorship is already like. huh.

(i mentioned also like even seagawk and mermista - her constant “uuuugh youre so annoying” about him is supposed to be cute apparently.... like noelle posted a pic of her in a shirt that says “im with stupid” pointing at seahawk and... like... that would be funny if they had healthy communication and she didnt seriously treat him like he was an idiot 24/7... but if this was reversed it would be a huge problem and everyone would flip out.)

i never thought catra and adora were written very sisterly since its undeniable that there was a clear attraction between them in the early part of the show but holy fck if the crew did say that.... ugh... although i agree it is really skeevy that their plot revolves around an abusive mother which i feel inforces the “adoptive siblings arent real siblings” pseudo incest trope as much as i think the interactions between catra and adora were not sisterly in how they were written. if that makes sense

i hate to bring up SU but i think it covers this topic really well w spinel - whos so toxic she literally poisoned people - while steven does set her on her path, he does not make himself responsible for her redemption. we get a snippet of that later ofc - where we see that she is trying to become better while also helping the other abusive characters through their change (which we also see is still ongoing - those behaviors havent been fully unlearned - nothing can be fixed that quickly). and most notably the victim (steven) while tolerating them through their attempts at change and encouraging them, does not forgive them and makes an open effort to distance himself even while his abusers still want him to help them 24/7.

whats bothering me the most is not that ppl enjoy these ships bc no matter what people will and you cant stop them but rather that ppl refuse to admit that something they like is abusive - either bc they want to save face as a unproblematic fandom blogger or bc they are 100% unwilling to take critique on something they like, to the point where now ppl wont accept any criticism on she ra at all as a show even if it has nothing to do w the awful excuse for romance.

[itsthwippingtime]

Fav bloggers and why?

dahskhkasj theres so many!! how am i supposed to,,, uhhh okay i love every one i do if youre not on this list it does NOT mean that i don’t love you

without further ado and in no particular order (okay I’ve noticed some are longer than others and if youre anything like me you’ll read way too much into that but please don’t i don’t mean anything by it i love you all so so so so much) 

im so sorry for how long this is. every person tagged in this; i love you so so so so much and thank you so much for just being there for me and just being a presence in my life i am so grateful for our friendship. that applies to everyone, no matter if we’ve talked every day or never, i love you all so so SO much!!! 

@anidiotwithapen - my first friend on this site (literally) and they live in Germany so we don’t get to talk as much as i would like cause ugh timezones but i love them so much, a walking disaster, the Clint to my Nat (wait am i Nat? have we discussed this yet?) the number of crack head canons that should be canon and ideas we’ve come up with like wow. i love them so so so so so so so so much. amazing artist like wow check out their art blog @neraidamira

@hraewordsmith - my babes my aunt i love her so much IM GONNA MEET HER ASJKDHASJKHDKASHJKA Rae is literally my rock one of the most supportive, loving people (persons?) I’ve ever met i love her so so so so so so so so muchdasjhkjajzkjashdjk 

@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars - Leah. my babes. an angel on earth i love her so much!!!! I’m gonna meet her too!!! so supportive and loving and encouraging, an amazing writer, an amazing person i mean what else can i say about her???

@starkravingparker - my wife!!! my name twin!!! Ava May i love her so much and I’m so so so proud of her she is so strong and amazing every day she faces demons and battles but she never ever gives up truly inspirational to  me i love her so much and I’m gonna meet her one day maybe years from now but we’ll meet definitely and she’ll have to show me all her favorite places to go and things to do!! an amazing singer ( @starkravingava) an amazing writer ( @stparkerwrites) and amazing at making icons/edits/that stuff that i know nothing about ( @starkravingshuri) truly a talented wonderful person i love her to death. she deserves so much love and happiness and I’m so proud of her jsdajkdjlksa 

@loubuttons - lou. what can i say about lou. the sweetest person ever. always there to love on you and encourage you and hear you complain and be there to rant and shkjadsahjkska i love her so much literally an angel i cannot,,,, an amazing painter and writer and just deserves all the love in the world i love her so much 

@marvelbased SOPHIA I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE the Bucky to my Sam i could not live without her she’s constantly making me laugh i wish i could give her the world because its what she deserves i love her so much she always supports me and encourages me and we’re gonna meet one day too i know it ill die if we don’t!! dsjkhasjk i just love her!!!! 

@cartwheelandfaceplant - we don’t talk much but i love them!!! everything they reblog, marvel or not, is the Quality Content i signed up for and at least a third of my likes is probably posts from them amazing blog amazing person just amazing amazing amazing!!

@tonyintexas - ah Taylor. my partner in crime when it comes to a certain person i love her and her humor its so amazing Taylor is literally crazy but the best kind of crazy and she honestly has me cackling i love her so much

@smallittlebee - the sweetest ever!!! we don’t talk much but literally so so so so so sweet and um CHICKENS!!!!!

@peterparkerisntdead - literally Gwen’s tags and semi vague shit posts throw me into a fit every time i should expect it but i never do i never know what to expect from her she’s like a hurricane so unpredictable sdaljkasdakjsd i love her k so much!!!!!! just !!!!!!

@irondadgroupie - IM SORRY I HAVENT REPLIED TO OUR HEADCANONS IN SO LONG IM SO SO SO SORRY if maybe if you don’t mind waiting until May? my exams are over mid-may and I’m gonna try to have the out before then but its really getting stressful over here and I’m just so sorry for all the shitty excuses and me ignoring you you have no IDEA how sorry i am. i love you so much i love the head canons we come up with, so so supportive and has always supported me with my writing, since the very beginning and it means the world to me dsjakjhsjak i love you babes!!!!

@imveryobservant - ahhh Jessie i love her toooooo!!!!!! we don’t talk a whole lot but when we do its always so much fun!! there are two (2) things that make me think of Jessie: thank u, next and the muppets (i also think of Gwen when i think of the muppets)

@lovelyspidey - LIXI!!!!! Lixi and i don’t talk a whole lot either but i love her so much and she’s like the one person i can freak with about Spider-Man PS4 (LIXI YOU NEED TO FINISH IT HAVE YOU????) and she’s always been there and supported me from the beginning i love her. also my go-to girl for Tom fic recs ;)

@drowningfandoms - okay but literally idk what to say because i remember seeing your URL repeatedly in my notifs at the very beginning, and like sending me asks and stuff and it was so strange that one person liked me and wanted to interact with me. and look how far our friendship has grown!! i love you so so so much!!!! I’m so grateful for you and our friendship and just your presence in my life

@underoosstark - this bitch makes some of the best videos i have ever seen in my entire life!!!! please watch them!!! ugh your mind babes!! we don’t talk a lot either but always amazing and supportive and loving and so sweet and kind andjaksdhjksahdjkashjksahjkd 

@messedupfangirl05 - this bitch exposes me in the best ways i love her so so so much she is so kind and supportive and just so funny and I’m so so proud of her and everything she’s done. i love her and the way she writes and just EVERYTHINGS!!!!!

@tominhoodies - STEPH!!! BABES!!!! k i love Steph so much she’s an amazing writer and i love her so so so so so much she’s so funny sometimes she disappeared for days or weeks but i know she does it for her and its whats best for her and i respect and admire the amount of self control she had i love her so much okay don’t talk to me

@knife-wielding-tentacle - listen. if it weren’t for this bitch right here i would have never been introduced to the glorious head canon that is Winter Soldier!Peter and i love it so much (okay I SWEAR I’m gonna answer those asks soon but when have you known me to ever do anything on time) i love them so much jdsakjaskdjlaksjkaklsadjkl please never stop with the head canons they give me life

@adaisyspetals - DAISY!!!!!! i love daisy so much!!!!! she sends me pictures of her cat and dog and i love them too!!!! so sweet and so supportive and i love love love her writing!!!! agasdgjhsags just so amazing i love you so so so much babes!!!!

@mostly-marvel-stuffs - hi!!! we used to talk a lot more than we do now and thats okay but i miss you lots babes!!!!! um just an amazing person altogether i love them!!!! we once calculated how long it would be to do a Disney marathon with all most of the Disney movies so we’re gonna do that one day when we can stay up for a week straight (how long did we say it would be?)

@protecthefuckingbees - idk why they follow me cause they’re literally like the coolest and I’m like,,, not but i love them so so so much so supportive and kind and loving and sdjkhajdhjkahdajk i just love you sooooo much!!!!!!

@tomhollandswhore - we talk like every three days but i cherish those conversations, literally so sweet and kind and supportive and a New Friend cause we don’t know each other super well yet but i already know i love them!!!!! 

@tonystarkdadmode - oh my gosh okay so sweet and so amazing and so supportive and just so amazing i love love love them!!!! i love their header (its so iconic go look) and just dsjkasjkdasjkhdsjkadsajk love you so much babes!!!!! 

@spider-boiii - the creator of my icon, always has me cackling, super amazing, really nice, I!!!! LOVE!!!!!! THEM!!!!!!!!!

@spookyclooky - k amazing artist first off! also like the only person i can talk to about Detroit: Become Human and (possibly) other PS4 games (we need to play GTA online one day i feel like that’d be a lot of fun haha!!!) i love them so much they’re so sweet and very patiently put up with my incessant questions about DBH, as annoying as they were

@sup-mr-stark, @mysteryavengers, @death1by3thoughts, @tamaranianprincess, @tomhollandeu @tomhollanders2013, @ebonyheartnet, @avengvr, @anxieteandbiscuits, @theincorrectavengers, @spiderman-homecumming, @my-babies-are-ash, @she-loves-her-queens-of-whump - these blogs… we don’t talk a whole lot and i really wish we did, but we all just kinda stand by and support and love each other even tho we’ve had like 3 or less conversations BUT THEYRE STILL ALL AMAZING AND HAVE AMAZING BLOGS AND ARE JUST ALTOGETHER AMAZING PEOPLE I LOVE THEM!!!!

[tumblunni]

okay to talk about EXACTLY HOW i would handle giving charon a big good boss fight and also sympathetic backstory and redemption and all that jazz

there are approximately ten million words beneath the cut, and also ten million raspberries in my shampoo, and these charon thoughts are just as sweet as that

alright so ALREADY i kinda did feel like he was sort of a friendly enemy when i first played the game?? like his Thing of being the constantly never fightable dude actually was kind of sympathetic in a way. it always just felt like he was Chilling Out and not giving much of a shit about being evil and also had nothing personal against you the player. he doesnt follow any of cyrus’s big philosophy and he’s clearly only here for the money and really phoning it in, and that kinda makes him not your enemy at all, even though he’s on the team youre fighting. Like I always found it a good establishing moment that in the Valley Windworks when they first introduce “hey this time there’s two galactic teammates here” and all, CHARON IS STANDING DIRECTLY IN EYELINE OF YOU RUINING EVERYONE’S PLANS. he’s just standing there! and of course he’ll never do anything to warn mars about you, the game just isnt programmed that way. but it fits really well with his character if you think of it as an intentional thing? just imagine this random gramps sitting there drinking tea while all his teammates actually Care About Things and Use Effort. He’s always criticizing team galactic’s plan too and like WHY IS HE DOING THAT TO YOU if not because Nintendo Wants Him To Be My Best Friend ok. Like he doesn’t fuckin trust anyone on his team so why would he spill the beans about his big secret plans he has to make money off of this villain plan and then bail before they actually do all the dumb shit with legendaries and such. Yes ok its PROBABLY just because its a videogame and they need to exposit stuff to the player that the character is probably just thinking and not saying out loud. But wouldnt it be so much better this way!!!! Also even when you finally face off against him personally in the postgame for his actual dumb money plan he’s still like ‘lol fourth wall breaking time im gonna not have a boss battle cos if you beat cyrus’s ass i aint got no chance’. Dammit nintend i still wanted to fight him but thats endearing so i cant stay mad at u! And he has several lines during it with stuff like “i like seeing children trying so hard BUT YOURE TOO LATE” and “youth like you can live in idealism but for me its all about the money”. Like man u remember that time i had a big angry rant about how his manga version was super OOC cos they didnt just choose to make him eviler but made him murder a child? like the only time anything involving children is mentioned in canon its him being mildly more polite to children!!! MILDLY FRIENDLY! LET ME HAVE THIS...

okay so YEAH the first big change would be just giving him more screentime and more fleshed out character in these early scenes. Make him a full on friendly character who is technically on the opposite side but has no beef with you and no loyalty to the greater plan of his team. So he’s just comically like “oh hi again! yeah lol today’s plan sucks huh?” and makes idle conversation while the main character villain admin of the day is actually doing important plot stuff. like have him along for everyone’s scenes not just mars at the start, dissappear for hours until the very end. And yes definately keep the thing of the game constantly lampshading that he’s a new character for the third version of the game, and everyone in the team thinks he’s useless and forgets he’s even there. it was annoying in the original game cos he actually didnt get any love from the writers themselves, but yknow you could give him an expanded role and rewrite that stuff to be more like “oh poor guy he’s the underdog”, yknow? am i the only one who felt inherantly sorry for him?? i mean he’s a tiny grandpa!!! and he looks so sad on his official art!! Oh oh and also add the additional running jokes and expanded characterization he had in his very brief anime appearance, which was honestly the only well written part of the entire team galactic arc. It fleshed out a bit of his relationship with jupiter who never really appeared alongside him in the game except to say “im not teaming up with you” at the end. Having the context that she finds him annoying cos she’s very serious and also very dedicated to cyrus so she hates this opportunistic bastard pretending to be dedicated when its an obvious lie. And also she thinks his laugh is obnoxious XD Oh also I liked how they expanded upon that one scene of Saturn being sarcastic at gramps and made it into an actual thing that him and charon most often work together and have a mutually sassy dynamic. I found it humanizing that anime saturn is very serious but can comically overreact to very minor teasing from this grandpa! I thought that was better than the games where he’s just serious or the manga where he was 100% changed to be 100% silly and kinda stole charon’s personality for reasons i will never understand.

ANYWAY! IN SUMMARY! show scenes of charon being endearing by being not really interested in the big evilness, being underdog-y by always failing at his smaller evilnesses and getting disrespected, and also maybe drop in some more interpersonal relationships between the admins to hint that charon does indeed have some friendship going on even if he’s a tsundere bitch who’d never admit it. Also maybe the other thing from the anime where they made him a cool computer guy? cos srsly it was lazy that the games just said “he’s the science” and never clarified wtf he actually does at his job. cos cyrus is already a science boss??? he kinda already did most of the big sciencey plans?? why does he need this man if its not for mechanical or legendary pokemon stuff OK HEY MAYBE COMPUTERS! also its funny to imagine him being a memey blogger but sun and moon actually made faba canonically that so i dont think you could improve on him. TAKE NOTES FROM BEAN MAN, NINTENDO

Also maybe you could hint at the rotom backstory before it actually happens? like could just show some mild implications that he is sad, cos the ‘friendly enemy’ thing would already be decent foreshadowing for him potentially having a soft spot. “Wah i am an emotionless evil money man” says local villain, while gossipping with Dawn about his coworkers and sharing lemon squares. But like I mean i don’t really want him to be LITERALLY that, i still like him being grumpy and guarded about his secret good heart. I’m just saying “friendly” as in.. sort of a disconnect between what he says his personality is and how he actually acts. The stuff he actually says is very grumpy but like.. hey he’s saying stuff to you when he doesnt need to, and nobody else on this team is casually talking to you as if youre not an enemy. Like he’s SUBCONCIOUSLY friendly and doesnt realise it? He’d never SAY “i am lonely hello please talk to me” but he’d sure as hell walk over to you and talk to you anyway. About grumpy things! Grumpily! And maybe express occasional compliments in a sort of “haha im surrounded by idiots you’re way more down to earth than all these adults who act more like children”. Cos in that fourth wall breaking moment he has, he respects that you’re a badass and decides thats why he’s not gonna have a boss fight. “You’d just kick my ass, so lol fight these grunts instead while i run away and do my evil plan” That is the kind of sympathetic charon i want!! He’s doing a douchey thing by breaking the script of how boss battles work and making everyone else fight you instead even though he knows that they’ll lose. But he’s also likeable because breaking the script of boss battles is unexpected and comedic! And he’s also accidentally being complimentary to you so its like SIMULTANEOUS JERK AND NICE AT THE SAME TIME. Thats the good stuff!! That quality grumplegramp content!!! if he got redeemed and just 100% changed his personality to lose all the sass and sneakyness then that’d be boring yo...

OKAY WHERE WAS I? Okay hey once you’ve established that, maybe now you have a basis for the sad foreshadowing!! Like you could have one scene where he’s suddenly NOT friendly, he’s not just grumpy in the funny sort of way but actually seems cold and stoic and actually does something useful to the team’s mission or whatever. Sort of a ‘whoa what’s wrong with him today’ thing and it could be subtle cos on the first playthrough you’d just think he was being a jerk cos he’s a jerk and all. but maybe it happens on a scene of team galactic doing some evil plan in eterna forest/other place that’d potentially relate to the rotom sidequest. like he’s just really fuckin depressed to be reminded of his one big failure in life. OH maybe it could actually be at the unnamed junkyard thats mentioned in his backstory but doesnt actually feature as an area in the original game? It could make sense that it’d be part of their plan cos team galactic attacks various energy sources and other technology related places to find the stuff they need to make the big world erasure machine. could just be simply them robbing some old generator parts after their attempt to take the whole power plant failed.

Oh and also maybe add a lil something to his last scene at the galactic lab? Cos like.. what we already have in the game has potential to be a moment where he did a good thing but no its not. Like when you look at it, hey he kinda helped you out here by being all “hey lol saturn the kid is here, bye im not stopping u, feel free to take the lake trio”. Even if saturn is the one who actually SAID feel free to take the lake trio and actually had a good hint at redemptiveness moment and all. Please never take that away, that was good, you just coulda had both of them do it, yknow? And we dont wanna make charon go full good guy all of a sudden when he hasnt even finished his characetr arc, so instead make it more of a moment where its like “im a bad guy but this is going too far”. Like maybe ACTUALLY HAVE A PAYOFF for the foreshadowing that he has no loyalty to cyrus and is blatantly plotting to betray him at some point. He never actually did!! He only tries to capitalize on cyrus already being defeated in an entirely optional sidequest that fails at delivering a proper payoff.

So hey! My idea! Add some complexity here by making it clear that charon is evil in a more petty and mundane way and not in a.. like.. actually dangerous way. Once things start getting actually dangerous he starts chickening out! Like he’s a jerk who does mean things to get money but he’s just MEAN and not friggin murderous or worldending. Give him a moment of “oh shit cyrus was actually serious oh god how do i get off of this train”. Like it seemed that he never really believed that team galactic would ever truly create a new world, and he certainly didnt give a shit about it, he just thought he found an easy opportunity for a paycheck in some dumbass’s deluded plan that’d never really work. But OOPS i guess it actually is happening, oh fuck! Give him a bit of a crisis where he realizes what he actually helped this man do, but not like a full on “everything ive ever done is bad and i dont wanna be evil anymore”. Not YET! Just friggin.. “oh fuck i cant spend money if the universe doesnt exist and also i am dead”. “PLEASE HELP ME CHILD, CYRUS IS GONNA TAKE AWAY THE MONEY!!” xD It’d be fitting for his character and a good light moment of comic relief after the emotional and dark stuff happening around this section of the game. Like he already kinda does that by having that scene of saturn snarking at him, but it could be even more funny! Move the first him and saturn bickering scene to earlier on and have this be like a satisfying scene of saturn actually winning? cos in the anime it was always charon being smug and making fun of him while saturn gets all grumpy about it, now it could be the reverse with smug charon having a breakdown and realising his whole money plan is in shambles and its his own fault.

Also maybe it could have additional payoff with Charon actually helping you take down cyrus? Again, not actually because he’s switched sides but because he's still evil but evil for different reasons than cyrus. That good ‘reluctant teamup with minor goofy villain to take down big actually scary villain’ thing. With the added bonus that the minor goofy villain is objectively a worse person than the scary villain and the scary villain is still redeemable, as opposed to in the manga where they used this same trope in the form of “cyrus is good now and we’re making charon the big scary villain to prove how good cyrus is cos charon is worse”. That was dumb. It was especially dumb cos WHY ON EARTH would you pick charon for this??? like they still had moments of him being comedic and wimpy yet at the same time wanted us to believe he was legitimately threatening? ANYWAY my idea for this is that charon’s computer skills could pay off and it could be something like “oh i always put a failsafe kill switch in my computer just in case i need to grab the money and run”. Like him being a paranoid untrusting selfish asshole was actually the reason he was able to save the day! Also it would explain why cyrus’s machine only fails and summons giratina in platinum version. the manga actually did say that charon sabotaged the machine so thats one actually good thing that came from it! Congrats u filled one plothole while making twenty more XD

OH and perhaps this same section could also foreshadow the rotom thing? like I was thinking about how he could actually choose to give up and let you take the lake trio and have it still be 100% in character. It could be an extension of his “shit, i didnt think things would get this serious, please save me from the consequences of my own actions!” moment. Cos I think that any normal dumb greedy money man would still be horrified at the idea of mutilating a thousand year old majestic unicorn of mythology and then flushing it down the toilet when it outlives its uselessness. Like he doesnt do it because he wants to help you save the day or anything, just cos the idea of killing the lake trio is just too evil for even him. It could be kind of a meaningful moment about how cyrus is doing all this for good reasons yet they caused him to do these actions that are even more evil than the actual dude with evil motives. And maybe you could establish this through a scene of him and cyrus inetracting, which could also help amp up how intimidating cyrus is, in preparation for the big climax? Have charon trying to wimp out of “disposing of the useless specimens”, but cyrus is having none of it. Like it could start off funny with him making up loads of other excuses cos there’s no way he’d admit he’s having Feelings and all. “Wait but let me have them! if theyre useless to you then i can just sell them right?? ha ha thats the only reason im saying this, lol you know me i’d never be swayed by any sentiment” But cyrus sees through it instantly and gets right up in his face like fuckin Raw Cold Fury, no you are NOT going to disobey me. He is PISSED OFF because the only reason he kept this useless senile old bat around is because he’s the only one in this group who isn’t a simpering moron at the mercy of their pitiful heart. If you can’t even do that, then what’s the use of you? So everything charon tries fails and all he accomplishes is getting fired on the spot for even TALKING ABOUT defying his boss. And cyrus just orders saturn to dispose of the lake trio instead. Saturn of course is smarter and says nothing in defiance, but then the both of them work together to let you take the pokemon and just act like they failed to stop you rather than doing it on purpose. And its kind of an uncharacteristically quiet and intense moment between these dudes that are usually at each other’s throats with funny banter. They’re united for a moment but for very different reasons. Charon knew that cyrus wasnt a good guy from the very beginning and he just underestimated him, and is now feeling in over his head and worried this could be the end. And saturn always thought cyrus was good but is starting to struggle with doubts. And maybe charon actually tries to warn saturn about it? Like “hey i knew this all along but i never told you but HEY CYRUS MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL US ALL” and saturn starts on his usual speech about cyrus being the greatest but he starts to question it and AAAAA! but ultimately this moment isnt the moment where he makes the right choice, and he does end up going back to cyrus and continuing the plan. and also charon is on the edge of actually doing something good and trying to stop cyrus’s big ol doom time (albiet for selfish reasons of No Money In The New World) but he also wimps out from this chance and instead decides to grab as much cash as he can and run the fuck away, as if its even possible to outrun the destruction of a whole dimension. but at least him and saturn agreed on the lake trio rescue operation, thus their moment of almost-redemption helped the player even if they didnt actually turn good. AND then you’d have the surprise moment of charon actually stepping up at the last minute and doing his thing to sabotage the machine and all. which again doesnt really solve the whole thing and doesnt really make him turn good but at least it downgrades the threat from ‘cyrus actually succeeds in destroying the world’ to ‘okay we just need to deal with a slight case of poke-hell and one collossal centipede’. Srsly man sinnoh’s plot has the highest stakes cos in platinum you straight up actually fail and cyrus actually would have destroyed the world if not for giratina! Oh and also a random note is that i think it’d be funny if charon helped you out while still running away? like you just learn about the machine sabotage being his responsibility cos it flashes his goofy hacker logo from the anime or something. Maybe instead he hacks your Poketch and is like HEY HELLO IM GONNA SPLODE THE THING BUT NOT COS IM A GOOD GUY, BTW I AM A SAFE DISTANCE AWAY PLEASE DONT LET CYRUS KNOW I DID THIS

SO YEAH! whatever! whether or not we get that added bit of teamup with charon in the climax, we’ve still given him a bit more screentime so the player actually remembers him and actually cares about doing his optional sidequest in the postgame. so him not having a boss fight would be less of a letdown and all. But having the teamup plot would be a good opportunity to turn the wifi event into not a wifi event! maybe during his panic charon drops the key to his secret lab and thats how you get it? cos really it makes no sense at all that the magic wifi gods can just hand you something you’d have no idea existed and never have an opportunity to get. none of the other wifi items are literally a thing owned by a significant character that needs to be teleported out of his pocket by plot magic! Also it sucks that a chunk of important backstory would be hidden in a wifi event so if they still wanted rotom’s alt forms to be a wifi event then JUST make it the ability to get the forms and not the charony diary bit. Cos it makes no sense that the ENTIRE REASON CHARON EXISTS is to introduce the rotom form event yet you’d have no clue he was connected to rotom until after youve already finished the event. It gave no damn indication you had to take the key to this particular dude’s lab in team galactic!! ANd click on an otherwise unmarked wall!! Put the diary somewhere else and hey there’s a Charon Clue(tm) and now you can actually find the damn event, there you go, fixed. Also annoying cos nothing in the event tells you you have to go somewhere entirely different to catch the one rotom in the game, and click another unmarked piece of scenery that only has a staticky screen to indicate rotom if you happen to be playing at night. Seriously this is why serebii.net was such a lifesaver!!

Okay so WOOP there we go, here we are at a point where the player has seen more of charon and had oppotunities to grow to like him as a character and be suspicious that maybe he could have some sympatheticness. And if he drops an Importante Key Itemme right before the end of the game then thats a hint that postgame stuff exists involving him, and at least one clue where to find it! All the rotom diary stuff would play out exactly the same except that its less of a hell to find, lol.

BUT THEN the big difference in Stark Mountain is that now you have the full context of charon’s backstory and the game actually reacts to you having that knowledge. Like maybe if you dont do that step first then either charon never appears at stark mountain until you do, or you get an abbrieviated version of the quest without the redemption plot? I was thinking actually maybe make it one of those daily repeatable quests, to avoid the player doing the quests out of order and permenantly losing the chance to redeem gramps. Like if you dont see the rotom diary then instead of a big actual quest you just get some five minute “oh we’ve seen team galactic sneaking around stark mountain, defeat them for Some Money Or Something hey thats weird that they were only stealing money hey yknow who’s all about the money? charon! maybe go follow up on his Importante Key Itemme to continue the plot.”

SO THEN once you return Emboldened By The Knowledge Of Good Gramps, you get the proper thing. And... it would actually play out totally the same as in vanilla platinum. Charon doesn’t have a boss fight, all his minions leave him and say he sucks, he gets anticlimactically taken out by someone else in a cutscene, and his last moment is someone making a crack about him being so frail and useless that the hot volcano breeze could knock him over.

BUT THAT ISNT THE END

Its just a fake out that its gonna have the same funny ending as every other charon appearance, and the same lack of him being remotely threatening.

cos NOW WE FINALLY GIVE THE MAN A GODDAMN BOSS FIGHT

and yknow how i said i hate the manga where he’s all super evil and owns three legendaries and kills a guy? okay take away all that stuff but KEEP THE MOMENT OF GRANDPA GETTING TO DO SOMETHING BADASS FOR THE ONLY TIME EVER

Maybe he surprises everybody by actually not being down for the count! And by now he’s just SO pissed off from a whole game’s worth of failing and being disrespected that he does something desperate and stupid at the last minute. If he was meant to be the dude who invented the red chain, maybe he could use it to control heatran even if looker took away the magma stone? like i feel it’d be in character for charon to secretly steal a prototype red chain for himself during the whole “oh fuck my boss is legit destroying the world i need to get out of here” thing. Grab some stuff to sell now your last paycheck is dissappearing into an ominous void, lol. He didnt expect to actually be using it, and if the actually completed red chain puts enough stress on its weilder to make them cry blood then this thing must be even more risky to use! so its a really huge holy shit moment of tiny gramps actually doing something intimidating! and his boss fight could actually be using heatran and actually having heatran get to goddamn appear in this sidequest. it was soooo underwhelming to have to return thru the dungeon a second time to actually see heatran, this time without any story stuff to break up the long walk...

also this entire thing could be a great climax to his character arc and sort of a moment of “okay THIS was actually his motivation all along!” Cos I always felt like Charon’s real motive was low self confidence? Like he’s always on about money but he seems to focus more on SUCCESS instead. Fame and success. “Ha ha i am the greatest scientist and i want people actually aknowledge me” is a thing he repeatedly brings up and also that other characters directly demonstrate in how they act towards him. It just feels like he thinks he can buy that with money if he’s failed his whole life in earning it. And the old “acts egotistical because he actually hates himself” character archetype would work really well as a sympathetic interpretation of his character. It would be like how he’s ‘subconciously friendly’. The thing he actually does (being boastful) is because of a different reason (not believing his own lies and being super insecure about his self worth), but he keeps it so well hidden that not even he realises that its really what he feels. Similar to how he acts grumpy because of a different reason, because he actually DOES want friends and he’s just guarding his emotions under a million walls cos he’s scared of being hurt again. And scared of how he knows he’s a weak willed person who might betray his friends again for his desperation for money. Which is really a desperation to feel valid as a human being, which is really just ‘i want friends’ again under another coat of paint. So depressingly he caused his own problems because of the same character trait that was once a positive in his life! I think he works well when interpreted from that angle, he’s like a dark subversion of a pokemon professor or of your classic ash ketchum figure. Like “the power of friendship” is what turned him evil, and also turned him into a guy who acted awful to his friends. And it could add to this thematic thing if “loving pokemon” was also referenced throughout his plot in a negative sense?

That’s actually one other good thing about the manga, they removed his greedy grumpyness (bad) but replaced it with the same motive as the villain of the 2nd movie (weird flex but okay). Aka “a guy who collects legendary pokemon just as trophies and has forgotten how to treat them like genuine friends”. Even if that wouldnt be his main character concept in this hypothetical rewritten game, it could still be a secondary trait that’s used to suppliment the main emotional arc. Like instead of just saying “money money money” you could flesh out more scenes of him actually talking about HOW he’s gonna get the money and what he’s gonna use it for. Via collecting all the rare pokemon, and to collect more rare pokemon. Which will somehow (in his twisted cynical perception of how the world works) make him a person of value and get people to respect him. It could also tie together pretty much every scene he already has! Cos his backstory is finding this pokemon friend... who was a rare unknown species. And maybe as a kid he decided to become a scientist initially just out of excitement to learn more about his new friend and show them to the world! But then the realities of the difficulties in being respected as a scientist gradually wore him down and he became more cynical, more obsessed with recognition, more believing that the only way to get it was by being an asshole and he’d just get taken advantage of if he kept being soft. And he started to forget why he really wanted that fame in the first place, and instead it just became an obsession, a vain hope that he’d hate himself less if he accomplished his life’s dream. When really from the player’s perspective its obvious that even if he succeeded he’d still be depressed when he realized how he’d lost everything in the process. And it’d be a more realistic sort of way he could have turned from a good kid to an asshole gramps. There wasnt any single day he suddenly made the decision to change, it was just a gradual wearing down of his morals over the years. he became more obsessed and more cynical that normal moral ways of doing things would never get him what he wanted. he started making small sacrifices to his personal sense of morality, and eventually reached the point where he’d completely abandoned it all without even noticing the gradual change. And somewhere along the way he forgot that he started this because of his pokemon friend, and discarded it as “not good enough” in favor of this vain quest to acquire a million other rarer pokemon and just friggin put them on a shelf to boast about them and feel less empty inside. And then also his redemption was a gradual change too? After he reached that point of completely betraying his own sense of goodness, he gradually got sadder and more tired with living this way. By the time you see him ingame he’s not remotely happy with being evil and he’s just a poor dude who’s deluded that being evil is the only way to escape the sadness rather than the cause of it. And thats why his whole ‘oops im accidentally subconciously befriending my coworkers and also the enemy’ thing kinda set him on the road to eventual redemption, cos its the first bit of small upliftingness he’s had in ages. sorta recharges his Ability To Care and he starts realizing what he’s doing and feeling regret. But yeah throughout the main game he never actually acts on his doubts and just repeatedly misses the chance to get redeemed and makes you Kinda Frustrated, similar to zuko or peridot’s redemptive arc? And ultimately reuniting him with his old best friend and showing him that its not too late to fix what he broke = the actual catalyst for his changes to fully stick and he completely switches to the good side.

BUT ANYWAY thats why he needs a boss fight first!

Something like 50-70 years worth of self hate and frustration from devoting himself to a super incorrect way of defeating that self hate, and sacrificing EVERYTHING for the sake of it, and being disrespected the entire time, and being terrified that you’re getting old and running out of time, and almost dying to some guy’s weird void plan, and losing the only thing you had left aka the team galactic job and a few maybe sorta kinda friends you had, and now being disrespected AGAIN by those same people you thought were friends (but never actually admitted it to them) and then also bitchslapped by a frog?? Also this place is real fuckin sweaty?? Yeah stark mountain is a great climactic point for his entire frustrations to boil over and be a bigger eruption than the actual volcano!

Thus we have Grand Dad Gets Serious And Has An Actually Interesting Boss Fight!

but also grand dad is being emotionally open and whoops accidentally might be tearing down those walls he built up around his big ol soft as fuck heart

like the battle would possibly be more ‘you talk him down into giving up, realizing he was wrong, quitting being evil, and going home to his friend that he misses so much. and finally realizing that thats actually the only way he could ever really defeat the self hate that drove him this far in the first place. also he’s not worthless and his friends always believed he was the awesome dude he always wanted to be’. Yknow, rather than actually defeating him and all. I mean you still do that but i think it’d be a case like with the giratina fight where even if you lose or run away you get the same result, just slightly altered text? Just as long as you come here with rotom in your party your victory was already a foregone conclusion. you just get a really cool boss fight as your reward, yknow? cos seriously I WAS WAITING THE WHOLE GAME FOR THAT DAMN BOSS FIGHT!!!

obligatory link again to the cool song i think is a great summary of all of my headcanons for this man’s character arc and would also be badass backing music for a hypothetical boss fight:

context: it makes more sense if you imagine it as his own internal thoughts of all the stuff he’s been running away from accepting in his own feelings. and/or what he THINKS that the player and rotom would be saying to him, so he’s shocked into speechlessness by the fact that they actually do think he deserves a second chance and has the potential to be good.

actually that could be a really good ending to the fight!!!

like when you get through to him and convince him to stand down, he cowers in fear thinking he’s gonna get the karmic payback for everything he’s ever done. and he tries to run away from reuniting with rotom. half of him is scared that his friend hates him and the other half is.. well..

i think it would be thematically appropriate to end it with a hug

just an image of this lil toy robot pokemon hugging this scared old man, and he’s just so empty and doesnt know what to say. its the last thing he ever expected. and then his shock turns into pain and sadness, as he was really the most scared that his friend actually would forgive him. that everything he ever did really was all for nothing, and he should have done this years ago and saved all that lost time. he’s so scared because he thinks he doesnt deserve forgiveness and he doesnt know what to do now its happening. so he just lets out all those tears he’s never cried over all these years, and the scene ends with him desperately hugging his best friend and never wanting to let go ever again

And then that’d be the big moment that was really the turning point for him, though of course that wouldnt be the end of his redemption and if there was any further postgame content you could show various scenes of him atoning throughout that. or just some images in the second credits scene after you beat the postgame stuff. i’d kinda like if there was some moment of him apologising to the rest of team galactic and joining them in their attempts to rebuild the team into something good. and maybe an extra postgame segment where this redeemified team goes on some bigger quest to try and rescue cyrus from the distortion world and heal his pain too. i think you could get a lot of good scenes out of a redeemed charon being along for the ride! like you’d obviously have cyrus being skeptical that this dude really has changed so much, and probably an extension of that earlier scene where he’s pissed off that the one guy he thought agreed with him about emotions being foolish is actually being the most emotional of everyone. but i think because of that they could also have scenes of relating together and actually starting to form a friendship in the end? like i can see charon feeling guilty for never trying to reach out to cyrus before, and also believing really strongly that cyrus can be redeemed cos like ‘yo i’m way worse than you and i was able to change, please believe that its a possibility for you too!’ Also cyrus likes machines so i think he’d be happy to meet rotom and become friends. And he has that whole grandpa related backstory so it might help a lot towards healing those scars and reuniting the two of them if he starts forming a friendship with a different gramps? THERES A LOT OF GOOD THEMATIC LINKS BETWEEN THE DIFFERENT TEAM GALACTIC MEMBERS THAT ARE NEVER EXPLORED IN THE ORIGINAL GAME

also in the original version of this plotline it was a fanfic/fangame idea of an alternate universe swap where dawn/lucas/other customizeable protagonist is a galactic grunt instead of the hero. so a lot of the details were different but in that version the protag was literally adopted by whichever galactic admin they picked as their main friendship route. entirely because of self indulgent ‘i wish these guys were my dad/sister/grandpa/whatever’ feels cos sinnoh helped me thru a tough time as a kid. soooo i cant really do that charon grandpa idea where he also renovates the Old Chateau into a ghost pokemon sanctuary and becomes like an actual good pokemon professor. (also rekindles his friendship with prof rowan and agatha from the kanto elite four cos thats just a random headcanon i have) BUT i could still do all that except the part where he adopts u cos canon dawn/lucas already has a mom lol. And i think it’d be more fitting of canonverse protag to adopt Cyrus? Like obv in the canonverse itd probably be the main boss of the team who gets the bigger redemption plot and is canonically the best friend EVEN THO for tumblr user tumblunni in particular it is All Grandpas All The Time. And i like the idea of Cyboy being a survivor of child abuse who tries to become a good dad just like his parents werent. But i also like the idea of dawn’s mom adopting him as her new big brother and him getting to experience a genuine loving family for the first time! I think itd work that way cos cyrus is meant to be 27 even tho he looks older, and i dont think dawn’s mom is that young and also i just see no chemistry between them as any sort of ship. (and headcanon cyrus as asexual anyway) But also the family does still keep in touch with all the other galactic friends!!!

hhhh i wrote So Many Word just about grandpa redemption holy shit i’ll probably die if i try and cover all the other teammates now

ok i will leave it here but just know i also have Deep Headcanons about all of them, even if charon gets the most. somedaayayyyay i will share with you more!!

[pantton-sandacers]

My Heart Soars

<–First ~ <-Previous

~Summary: Logan and Patton have been internet friends since they  were 14, and after dating for years, they decide to get married,  planning to meet each other in real life for the first time as they  stand at the altar together. ~Special thanks to @crownedsharko for helping me with this fic. ~A/N: This fic has been so much fun to write and see everyone's reactions to! I won't be able to keep up the whole 'updating once every week' thing after this week because the school year is starting for me and I don't think I'll be able to update weekly. (not to mention I have Serious writers block on the next chapter of Messages From A Stranger) Read it on AO3 Ship(s): Logicality Rating: T Word Count: 962 Warnings: hospitals, amnesia, memory loss (trigger warnings are chapter-specific) ~Tag List: @artisticlnsomniac @professional-fangirl75 @insert-epic-blogger-name-here @juni-raptor @moonstone-fox @mythicalquill @thethirteenthplanet @trashypansexual @ab-artist @anxiety-overthetop @dead4sevenyears @freepaperie081 @hi-disappointed-im-daughter @lienlovesshadowhunters @mariniacipher @nerd-in-space @sassy-and-messy @zaidiashipper

Chapter 9: Patton Meets Logan

A pinching pressure on his finger woke Patton from his slumber. Frowning slightly, he fumbled with the device on his hand, pushing it off completely before closing his eyes, and beginning to drift off to sleep again.

~*~

The feeling of tears on his skin and a force gripping his hand woke Patton again. As he slowly blinked awake he processed the presence of a handsome stranger sobbing next to him. Somewhere in Patton’s mind he registered the stranger’s voice as a familiar sound- but he wasn’t sure why.

“Um, hi,” Patton greeted, still waking up

The stranger’s head shot up and they stared at Patton with hopeful but disbelieving eyes, “Oh thank God you’re alive! I was terrified I’d lost you again.”

“What do you mean?” Patton asked as the other cried into his hand.

“Th- the pulse oximeter, the beeping machine that shows your pulse, it went flat. I- I thought,” the stranger stopped themself on a sob.

Patton tilted his head in confusion, “Oh, was that the thing that was pinching my finger? I took it off cause it was annoying me. Sorry to scare you like that.”

The stranger chuckled through their tears, “I’m just so glad you’re alive, Patton.”

Patton’s mind was barely able to recognize the name as his own, “Patton… yeah, that’s my name.”

The other looked at Patton in confusion mixed with nervous laughter, “Yes,, and I’m Logan.”

“Logan…” Patton mused, “Your name sounds familiar, do I know you? Sorry, I’m terrible with names and faces.”

Logan froze, his eyes widening in fear, “P-Patton… if this is a joke it isn’t funny... please.”

Patton sincerely apologized, “I’m sorry, I can’t think of how I know you.”

Tears spilled from Logan’s eyes, he couldn’t lose Patton, not again. He had to make him remember, “Do you know how you ended up in the hospital?” his voice was shaking, but he was fighting to keep himself together.

“Um…” Patton thought for a moment, “There was… a plane. And,” Patton looked at his body and examined all the injuries he had, trying to put something together, “I must have been hurt pretty badly to end up in the hospital, I’m guessing it was a plane crash?”

Logan nodded, “Do you think you might have hit your head during the crash? Could you have possibly lost some memory?” he was trying to remain neutral in the things he was suggesting, not telling Patton anything specifically- he needed Patton to remember on his own.

“Well…” Patton tried to recall his memories, but he realized his mind was blank. He sighed, “I think I might have,, but I don’t want to forget the person that I was! Or, am!”

“I know, I don’t want you to forget who you are either, Patton,” Logan was frantic, though he hid it well. He needed to show Patton something, do something that would help him remember. He spotted Patton’s engagement ring on a tray, it must have been taken off before his surgery. Logan grabbed the ring and hid it in his hand before adjusting Patton’s hospital bed slowly.

Patton was a little surprised at the sudden movement, “Logan, what are you doing?”

“I’m adjusting your hospital bed so you will be able to see me when I do something in a bit.”

“O,,kay??” Patton was a bit confused, then Logan stood before him, hands behind his back.

“Patton, I’m going to attempt to reenact a moment that I hope will spark your memory.”

“Alrighty then,” Patton gave Logan a confused look as he saw him kneel to the ground before him, but a memory flashed in his mind as Logan began to speak.

Logan took in a breath as he pulled out the ring from behind his back, “Patton Sanders, you are the most important person to me, and I love you with all my heart, I want to spend the rest of my life with you if you’ll let me. Patton Sanders, will you-”

“Wait! You didn’t have the ring in your hand when you proposed to me, Logan! You sent it to me and asked me to open the package before you began your speech…” Patton realized he what he’d said, “oh my gosh… you’re gonna be my husband?!” he gasped, more in shock at remembering than disbelief.

Tears brimmed at Logan’s eyes, and he smiled as he set the ring back on the tray, “Yes, and you’re going to be my husband. I’m so happy you remember, love,” tears streamed down Logan’s face as he sobbed in relief. For right now, the love of his life was alive and with him. And that’s all he ever wanted.

Patton smiled sadly at Logan, lightly tugging him closer by his arms and gently wiping the tears off Logan’s face. After a moment of staring into each other's eyes, Patton cupped Logan’s face and pulled him in for their first kiss.

If Patton thought Logan’s proposal made his heart beat fast, that was nothing compared to this, the soft touch of their lips warmed his chest and brought the widest smile to his face.

Logan pulled away shortly, smiling, “I wanted to kiss you longer but the pulse oximeter started beeping faster than the average heart rate, I didn’t want to cause you any further health problems.”

Patton smiled, running a thumb over Logan’s cheek, “Well, what can I say? When I’m with you, my heart soars.”

Logan chuckled nervously, “I think, at least for a good while, you’ve done enough soaring, my heart. Right now I’m happy just to be with you.”

"I'm happy to be with you too," Patton smiled and kissed Logan’s nose, making him blush before he moved closer and the two connected their lips again.

~The End~

[haespoir]

honestly, i’d like to start this post off by saying thank you!!! never would i have thought that i would ever reach over 100 followers,,, so the fact that i’ve hit 1000 followers seems so unreal to me,, so thank you guys! for supporting my writing and dealing with my nonsensical rambling!! 

with that being said: in honour of reaching 1000 followers, i’ve decided to start a little series on my blog. i’ll be writing for five main groups: nct ( all units ), loona, twice, red velvet and the boyz. these are my favorite groups to write for though i’ve really only ever written publicly for nct. 

i’ve complied a list of 60 aus ( most are from this masterlist and i’ve just chosen the ones that i like ) and 20 songs so just pick one and send me a request! note: most things will be written in bulletpoint and this post will serve as a masterlist for everything! 

example requests: 

“competitive au #1 w doyoung?” 

“angst song #2 with sana?” 

if a prompt is taken, it’ll be bolded with the name of the idol next to it! i’ll also include who requested it uwu basically, it’s a first come, first serve type thing! you can also request more than once!

ok with that being said,,, have fun! 

songs

angst

01. [ younghoon | anon ] “love letter” jinsoul and kim lip 

02. “push and pull” kard

03. “rumor” kard 

04. “lady” exid

05. “see saw” gowon and chuu and kimlip 

06. “walkin’ in time” the boyz 

07. “hard to love” bol4 

08. “destiny” lovelyz 

09. “we were in love” t-ara and davichi 

10. “dont recall” kard 

fluff

01. “hi” lovelyz

02. [ donghyuck | anon ] “walk u home” nct dream 

03. [ heejin | anon ] “what is love” twice 

04. [ jaemin | anon ] “shine” pentagon 

05. “imagine” bol4

06. “nevermind” jeong sewoon 

07. “real man” the east light

08. [ doyoung ] “a girl like me” gugudan 

09. [ yuta | @jenofanclub ] “heart attack” chuu 

10. “the day of confessing my love” jo kwon 

aus

roommate aus

01. friend of a friend needs a place to stay before they get evicted

02. my roommate fell nd broke their arm in the shower,,, what do i do

03. [ yeri | @najaeminclub ] new roommate cooks for the first time and almost burns the house down

04. overheard you singing in the shower you sound angelic 

05. [ doyoung | anon ] your clothes ended up in my laundry and now im wearing your favorite tshirt 

enemies to lovers au 

01. you’re a jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when i order 

02. [ jihoon | @lovejihoonie ] you saw me crying and you weren’t supposed to,, why are u trying to hug me 

03. you come to the restaurant i work at and choose me as your server every time just to annoy me nd i can’t do anything or i’ll get fired

04. [ yuta ] look i know we haven’t said anything nice to each other for years and this is a bit sudden but can you hold my hand and pretend to be my partner for the next few minutes cause my ex is coming over and i can’t be on my own for this so lets just pretend we aren’t mortal enemies okay? omg, you’re saying nice things about me and your arms are around my waist and my heart is pounding in my chest and oh god no out of all the people i could crush on why you?

reincarnation aus

01. [ jaehyun | anon ] i meet and fall in love with you in every lifetime at the same age but your age is always different so it never works out and for the first time i’m meeting you when we’re the same age and i’m horrified that i might fuck this up

02. [ doyoung ] i skipped like four cycles of reincarnation and i know you’re pissed at me for leaving you all those lifetimes but it wasn’t my fault please please will you take me back

03. [ yukhei | anon ] i don’t know how to tell you this but the reason you didn’t see me in our last reincarnation cycle is because for some fucked up reason I was reincarnated as your dog

04. [ taeyong | @najaemini ] we keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because i can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least i keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

height difference aus ( specify who is the tol nd who is the smol pls !! ) 

01. [ jacob | anon ] you were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’re both baristas and sometimes i have trouble reaching for things and i show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU 

03. we’re in art class tgt and i just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding” we’re on the bus and im really not trying to take up your space im sorry i just have rlly rlly long legs 

04. [ juyeon | @jenofanclub ] you’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious

05. you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die

competitive aus

01. [ jaemin ] we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust

02. i used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and im going all out for the next event

03. [ renjun | @najaeminclub ] a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if im going down you’re going down with me

04. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year i am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me i will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um

05. [ donghyuck | anon ] we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and i feel really bad here let me look after you

06. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

college aus 

01. [ momo | anon ] excuse me, I know we don’t have assigned seats in college, but I’ve been sitting in this one for eight weeks and it seems you’re in my spot

02. [ lucas | anon ] bless the spring semester stage combat class for practicing on the North Lawn, because watching my crush get sweaty and worked up while pretending to fight people really Does Things to me, okay

03. i was abroad last semester and forgot to fill out the housing form, but your old roommate dropped out so hi, hey, how’s it going, I guess we live together now

04. both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be 

05. [ lucas | @najaemini ] we live in halls opposite each other and i keep seeing you changing through your window 

witch aus 

01. listen, i know im new at this and all, but you screeching at the top of your tiny frog lungs isn’t going to help anyone, is it????? don’t you dare croak at me in that tone

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’ve been friends for years, so are familiars are really good friends with each other too. nd recently, while we’ve been doing witchy stuff, i’ve noticed that our familiars are growing extremely close and being affectionate towards each other. that’s weird because like our familiars are supposed to represent our subconscious and that’s not how we feel about each other at all… right?

03. [ seulgi | anon ] i borrowed the broomstick you keep in your wardrobe, and while i was cleaning up some lint; it suddenly shOT UPWARDS AND SMASHED INTO THE CEILING WHILE I WAS STILL HOLDING IT AND IT WON’T STOP MOVING GET ME DOWN FROM HERE I SWEAR TO GOD.

ghost aus ( in which one person is a ghost ) 

01. the neighbours asked one time if I had any roommates and i said no and they just looked really confused because they can always hear me shouting or talking to someone. yea, my neighbours think I’m crazy now, so thanks for that.

02. we’ve been arguing for a solid hour about whether Amelia Earheart actually died when the plane supposedly crashed; i don’t care if you met her one time when you were in purgatory. that doesn’t make a difference!

03. my ghost is really temperamental so i sometimes just scream “FUCK OFF” at it really loudly. it quietens down after that.

04. i’ve become so used to all the weird shit that happens in my house that when i invited people over and you were just throwing books around in the hallway, i completely forgot that they aren’t used to it like i am and now they just ran out of the house screaming. 

05. [ johnny | anon ] you’re a ghost and you scared me so much that i died and i literally rose out of the floor two minutes later as a ghost, now we’re stuck together for eternity and now i’m gonna beat your ghost ass.

06. CAN YOU NOT POSSESS DOLLS PLEASE IT’S NOT FUNNY AND IT”S JUST A DICK MOVE AND SCARES THE HECK OUT OF ME EVERY TIME

you know them but you don’t know them aus 

01. my friend can’t stop talking about how they want to set me up with their other friend so we start texting each other and they’re hilarious but shy about meeting and ALSO there’s a cute bike delivery guy who brings my mail at work and winks at me whenever i sign for a package 

02. [ sana | @jenofanclub ] i’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and i flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and i definitely want to say yes

03. [ jaehyun | @jaehyunclub ] there’s an overnight IT person at school who always answers the phone when i call about a problem with my computer and i totally have a crush on their voice and their exasperation and ALSO the bakery down the street is always running out of my fave scones and the adorable person behind the counter can’t hide their amusement and i think it’s super rude but also super cute 

04. [ lucas | @najaeminclub ] my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick 

05. our kids are bitter rivals and the only time we ever meet is when we’re both called to the principal’s office and whatever maybe i think you’re kind of cute but your kid’s a monster and ALSO someone keeps buying the last everything bagel at my favorite coffee shop 2 minutes before i get there in the morning and has heard about my plight and has started leaving me bragging notes about it 

06. [ changmin | @lovejihoonie ] i hired a dog walking company and i’ve never met the person who comes to my apartment but they leave me really cute notes and they give my dog presents and i kind of love them because my dog does and ALSO one of the artists at this gallery opening is hella cute and i want them to paint me like one of their french girls

??? aus

01. [ jacob | @lovejihoonie ] im calling to cancel our date bc im actually in the er right now, sorry,,,, i mean,,, i guess u can come here,,,, bring me fries 

02. we’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up

03. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park

04. [ sunwoo | anon ] you’re infamous for being an asshole nd i had to sit next you in class. turns out you’re kinda nice one-on-one. 

05. i let you cheat with my answers on a test and then you got the highest grade possible nd now you owe me a HUGE favour.

06. i just got bowled over by your huge-as dog in the park nd now you’re profusely apologizing while trying to hold your dog off 

07. [ kun | anon ] i kind of naturally spoil people and like taking care of them, you’re always getting sick in class / feeling down in class nd omg i think the teacher ships us???

08. [ yuta | @najaemini​ ] you always like to make me embarrassed by leaning in too close or hitting on me, but i’m used to it now nd one day i decided to retaliate

09. [ ten | anon ] ok so when we were little i accidentally mentioned that i had a crush on you but i always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this!!!

10. [ donghyuck | anon ] why are you so clingy people will think we’re dating- i know we are but you’re the one who wants it to be secret you moron!

11. [ taeyong | @najaeminclub ] i understand that you’re my bodyguard but that was a freaking FRISBEE not a nuclear bomb jesus christ- hey why are you still on top of me and why have i not noticed how beautiful you are? 

12. you’re so perfect and i’m in love with you but i’ve never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you’re catfishing me

13. [ irene | anon ] you had a party and i got really drunk and stole your toaster, so i showed up the next day to return it and you were really hungover so i made you breakfast (but i burnt all of it)

14. [ jungwoo | anon ] you have dimension-jumping powers and you’re mad that literally EVERY OTHER VERSION OF YOURSELF is dating ( insert idol ). then ur idol asks u out and is confused when u screams ‘FUCKING FINALLY, JACKASS!’

15. [ hyunjae | anon ] i suggested we play spin the bottle so i could kiss you, but now everyone else is kissing you except me :/

[yellingtomyself]

ohhh my god i fucjed up. i fucked up so bad i cant beleievr rit. i lost a friend and i feel terrible. i talked to them a couple of weeks ago andnthey thought i disliked them because i stopped talking ticthem when in reality i loved talking to them and my brain suddenly told me “dont talk to them anymore, you dont have anything else to say to them. you would kust annoy them if u started a new convo” AND NOWWWWWS i ruined it!!!!!!!!! i ruinedba good friendship with a blogger because i’m a stupidass andni wish i could go back in time because they wrre amazing. AAMAZING I TELL U. they had such good concepts for fiction akd i ate that ahit up . i never knew how to talkcto them after i stipped. im such a horrible person. i lose friends so often its not even funnyand this was somebody i shared interests with, real interests thst i liked and didnt pretend to like and i didnt act like a different person like i used to do. and now they thought i hated them. i am so sorry. im a horrible friend most ofthe time. i am used to keeping to myself because i have the underlying insecurity that nobody would like to hesr what i have to say. i’m a silly goose like that. but i am trying. i am trying to tell people that it isnt them, its me, andthst im trying to break the habit of dropping out like an asshole because i value the friendships i make a lot. my insecurity gets in the way but im trying to push through. i hate my brain but im trying. i promise i dont hate anybody. i try my hardest to love and get the love through because nobody deserves to be hated. not at all.

[dramallamadingdang]

Replies!

These go back a bit, because...yeah. *sheepish smile* 

For @elfpuddle, @nimitwinklesims, @penig, @acquiresimoleons, @pixelated-world, @holleyberry, @timeparadoxsims, @pensblr, @an-elegant-simblr, @yarerakai, @celebkiriedhel, @mrningbrd, @princess-arystyl21, and @sim-boo. Whew! :) 

elfpuddle replied to your photoset “By request, here is the “invisible” roads default I made to match my...”

In theory, then, a person could replace the road textures for each terrain with the default textures and have no roads anywhere? Does modding out signs and traffic happen only in lush hoods, or would that need to be repeated as well?

Modding out traffic is a global thing. If you put in that mod I linked to, you’ll have no neighborhood traffic in any of your neighborhoods, so long as the mod is in your downloads. You have to manually remove the intersection stop signs, though. (They’re just neighborhood deco, perfectly OK to remove as you would any other piece of deco.) But yes, you can have a road default for each type of terrain in the game and you can have multiple different ones that you can switch in and out, although you can only have one road default for each terrain type in your game at a time. So, if you use Maxis terrains, you’d just need four road defaults (one for each terrain type) with the road “pieces” painted to match the terrain.

I tried to make a road default that just consisted of all empty, transparent textures, the goal being to make it “universal,” with the roads being invisible on any terrain, but it didn’t look right. So, it is what it is, but, yes, you could take that default and replace the images with ones from any terrain you use in your game to make it match those terrains. Then you can switch your road defaults in and out as needed for different neighborhoods. That’s the nice thing about defaults. :)

elfpuddle replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

ICad is not a bad blogger; she needs to take care of herself first and foremost.

Yeah, I know. It just sucks being sort of chronically not-well. I want to do stuff, and the body doesn’t always cooperate. It’d almost be easier if it was always uncooperative, because then I’d get used to it and be resigned to it and learn to live with it, but it isn’t always like that. More often (at least for now) I have energy to spare and feel perfectly healthy, but sometimes I don’t, and I can’t figure out any rhyme or reason to it. If there was a pattern or a cycle to it, like a menstrual cycle sort of thing or if it was related to eating something or not eating something, then I could know what to expect and when. But there isn’t. It’s very frustrating.

Cherish your liver, people! Baby that sucker! 

nimitwinklesims replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Yay, very cool! As I just built the fisher's shack on a beach lot on a river, I'm just going to pretend the surf comes from the nearby sea... Even though they're on the mouth of the river... Yeah, well. xD But now I know about this trick for next time! \0/

It is a pretty neat thing. And I discovered it completely by accident, too! I just wanted an off-road beach lot, so I did the moving around. I figured that “Beach Lot” option in the Lot Adjuster would turn it into a beach lot, but I figured it’d generate surf, too. But it didn’t, and I was like, “Hey, cool.” But then a test Sim couldn’t swim, and I was like “Bummer!” But then I remembered the beach portals, which I’d used once before, many years ago, on a non-beach lot that edged neighborhood water, and I’m pretty sure that when I used them there, surf was generated. So, I figured the portals would generate surf on this lot, too. But they didn’t, and I was like, “YEEEESSSSSSSS!” *fist pump* Yay, serendipity! :)

penig replied to your photo “And there’s Amelia Shankel, granddaughter of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy...”

Maybe the cook used to know her parents and thinks she looks familiar?

Maybe! I mean, it’s the same cook in every dorm, I think, so she would have known Amelia’s parents. And she’ll probably know Amelia’s great-great-great-great-etc.-grandchildren, too. Immortal undead dorm cooks, yay! Maybe that’s how the manage to work 20 hours a day every day without, you know, dying. :)

acquiresimoleons replied to your photo “Aaron GilsCarbo, grandson of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy Bruty, all...”

He's fine!

Yeah, he’s definitely the neighborhood’s hottie! :) Too bad he’s gay, ‘cuz those genes really oughtta be passed around. But, perhaps he’ll get himself abducted by aliens at some point. Of course, then his genes will be eaten by the alien’s, but...

pixelated-world replied to your photoset “Sage had opening-of-the household wants to hire a maid and to…buy a...”

"the little mustache makes him look stereotypically French" -> me : (^・ω・^ ) I just laughed so much at this mustache...

I know! I saw that little mustache and my brain just went off and imagined him doing all those silly stereotypical French things, like running around exclaiming, “Zut alors!” every other second. Or saying things like, “But I am le tired!” It’s all the mustache’s fault!

penig replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Why do you feel guilty about this? We don't want to be a chore!

It’s not guilt so much as regret. I enjoy seeing and commenting on people’s pics and posts. Makes me feel connected to the world, I guess, and when I can’t do it for whatever reason, I just feel regret. Sadness. That sort of thing.

holleyberry replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. No worries about the Dash. Everyone has RL things that happen.

Yeah, I know. It’s just frustrating. I’ve just been really tired, not really sick, per se, but just really, really lethargic, sleeping most of the day if I don’t deliberately keep myself awake. Stupid metabolic issues. I’d sit down at the computer with grand plans to do stuff...and then I find myself nodding off and occasionally literally headdesking. *sigh* It’s been better today, though. And at least I didn’t miss your Dossanina update! :D Which I’ll be off to read when I’m done with this. :)

timeparadoxsims replied to your post “WCIF Simon's hair please? I'm always on the lookout for nice long male...”

It's a conversion by Umi-Sims2 and it's been reuploaded by sims2packrat here: http://sims2packrat.tumblr.com/post/153963303471

Ahhhhh, that’s why I couldn’t find it then! Thank you! Maybe the “Simon’s hair anon” will see this. Or at least hopefully they’ll see your reply on the post. :)

penig replied to your photo “This is generally a house of slobs which is probably why it’s...”

She's keeping her immune system strong. I've found some sloppy kids do dishes out of an apparent desire to show off how grown up and in-charge they are.

Perhaps. Allison is definitely the bolder of the twins. Her brother’s kind of bookish and apparently happy to be up in his room, playing alone, even though he’s just as outgoing. But Allison’s in everyone’s faces all the time. Even the dogs’ faces.

pensblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

Yes! You have no idea how much I was just grumbling to myself about this very issue a couple of weeks ago. Thank you!

You’re welcome! I’ve been grumbling about it for years, off and on...but it only just then occurred to me that, hey, if I can make something be visible in hood view, surely I can make it invisible in hood view, too! Derp......

an-elegant-simblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

It’s very useful really, I hated that phone booth! I use defaults for the lot (before I just hid it under rocks or underground with an OMSP, but I have lots of witches in Strangetown and it was annoying when they arrived and got trapped), but the hood view wasn’t changed and it looked really ugly in the hood view.

Really? It still looks like that in hood view even if you use a default for the phone booth? That’s...annoying. :P But if that’s the case...Yeah, it’s more useful than I thought, then. It kind of sucks, I suppose, not to have any hood view at all rather than a proper one (especially if you use a default), but it’s better than that hideous yellow-and-blue thing screwing up your hood view in a medieval neighborhood or whatever.

yarerakai replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Many thanks ! Sometimes it annoys me also when my sims live near a river and can't swim in it.

Or, they CAN swim in it, but that’s because it’s a beach lot with the waves and stuff. I didn’t want that. I wanted to be able to put trees right up to the edge and hanging over the water, like a real river. It looks kind of silly if you do that with ocean waves coming in. :p

celebkiriedhel replied to your photoset “Jupiter became an old, fugly dog. <3”

he is looking like he needs a good feed!

Yeah, I know! He always has. Poor thing has a skinny greyhound-type body and a bulky coonhound-type head. The bulk of his head makes his body look even skinnier. Ah, game. *shakes head*

mrningbrd replied to your post “Hey iCad! Are you still thinking about sharing a custom decorated...”

i would die for an icad neighborhood. i wish hoods werent so susceptible to corruption, im sure that would make it easier

*sigh* Yeah, it probably would. Outside of corruption issues, I wouldn’t worry so much about it, but I want to make it a sub-neighborhood template, so that it can be attached to other neighborhoods or be part of an uberhood or whatever. Can’t be that if it has stealth hoods attached to it, itself. :\ One of these days, I’m going to set up a new user account on this machine and test it out. Hopefully, it’ll work... 

princess-arystal21 replied to your photoset “House #1 for the new pseudo-Amish. It’s pretty much done on the...”

It's so....brown.

*laugh* Yes. Yes it is. :) But, that tends to happen with log construction. Unless it’s fake log construction and you have drywall and stuff inside that you can paint. I wanted “real” log construction, though.

sim-boo replied to your photo “When your dog has enough floof to hide in… Jupiter got his licks in,...”

I want a floof dog

I love floof dogs. I have a big, floofy Mastiff/St. Bernard mix, and I love cuddling with her and burying my face in her floof...when she’s clean. Which isn’t all that often. Which is one of the main problems with floof dogs. :) Especially when they really, really don’t like baths and they weigh more than you do. Bathing them is, like, a three-person job and everyone ends up soaked to the skin, not just the dog.

acquiresimoleons replied to your post “Some replies.”

nono not your recolors, the mesh set.

Ohhhhhhh! Maybe? But I didn’t think that Ray posted on MTS. Maybe someone included the meshes with a recolor set, though. Either way, though, it’s a beautiful set. Worth having twice, maybe! Well, OK, not because that doesn’t do you any good, but you know what I mean. :)

[actual-talking-trashcant]

im feelin like being annoying so... every ask that has a letter b in it. any # just so long as there's a b in the question.

Thats an interesting way to ask and I love it!

2 - When is your birthday? April 2

3 - Who do you want to be with right now? My close friends and the people who are currently in my “please like me i want to get to know you better you're so cool” group

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? I mean i wouldnt really want to make anyone stranded with me against their will so like maybe my mom or anyone who would be ok with it

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? I’ve been in 2 relationships

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? @something-probably had one and I wanted to be a cool kid 

12 - Who is your favorite blogger? @something-probably because they're my bro

13 - Where do you want to be right now? I’m in my room so thats pretty chill but like with any of the people in #3 would be sweet too

14 - What do you want to be in the future? In a place where I have learned to get my work done before goofing off at least for the most part

19 - What was the best thing you were given? Love and attention honestly

22 - Who is your best friend? Well i mean @something-probably is always a go to and apparently I'm best friends with the singer of my band on snapchat now, @sapphicsardines is the established answer, and i am obliged to also say my dog because he can't leave me

23 - What is your biggest regret? Not being direct enough in almost all situations

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? Nope

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? I’m sorry that it took this long to get back to talking like normal people and please be careful

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? I dont think so

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? Im perpetually in the “bored but i have a lot of work that I should be doing” mood

45 - Describe your dream date. I think getting some food, hanging out and talking just like picnic style then going inside to watch a movie and/or chill to some music

46 - Describe your dream wedding. I dunno I just want it not to be that fancy or expensive because that isn't what its about so just like family and friends and feeling loved

48 - Have you ever been kissed? yep

54 - Are you a crybaby? If it comes to something I've done yes if its like being strong for someone else then usually not

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? I’m sure that I have, i know I've eaten a lot of things i shouldn't have eaten and dont regret it

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? I dont think i have any serious personal issues with anyone

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? not really

69 - Are you a crybaby? ok really twice? the answer is yes

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? yeah its not really fun its like not being in control but in a very not chill way

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? Heck yeah I've got my boaters license 

79 - Have you ever been jealous? yeah

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? Yeah I guess

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? I think I did one time jokingly and then it lead to shit so i try very hard not to ever do that

88 - Are you broken-hearted? Not really?

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? only if you try

93 - Do you believe in destiny? I like to think that you control your life

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? i think so

98 - What should you be doing right now? studying for my final in trig or working on drama staging

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. Kai

I think that was all of them!

[viralhottopics]

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘Can people please stop telling me feminism is hot?’

The novelist has been accused of making equality mainstream: isnt that the point? Plus an extract from her new Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was in Lagos last summer, teaching a writing workshop as part of an annual schedule that sees her time divided between Nigeria and the US. For much of the year, Adichie lives in a town 30 minutes west of Baltimore, where her Nigerian-American husband works as a medic and the 39-year-old writes in the quiet of a suburban home. When Adichie is in Nigeria, where her parents and extended family still live, she has a house in the vast city she regards with the complicated love and condescension of the part-time expat.

Its an ambivalence with which many Nigerians regard her, too; last year, the workshop ended in a question-and-answer session, during which a young man rose to ask the famous novelist a question. I used to love you, she recalls him saying. Ive read all your books. But since you started this whole feminism thing, and since you started to talk about this gay thing, Im just not sure about you any more. How do you intend to keep the love of people like me?

Adichie and I are in a coffee shop near her home in the Baltimore suburbs. We have met before, a few years ago, when her third novel Americanah was published, a book that examines what it is to be a Nigerian woman living in the US, and that went on to win a National Book Critics Circle award. A lot has happened since then. Half Of A Yellow Sun, Adichies second and most famous novel, about the Biafran war, has been made into a film starring Chiwetel Ejiofor and Thandie Newton. Her essay, We Should All Be Feminists, adapted from her 2013 TEDx talk, has remained on the bestseller lists, particularly in Sweden, where in 2015 it was distributed to every 16-year-old high-school student in the land. The talk was sampled by Beyonc in her song Flawless. Adichie has become the face of Boots No7 makeup. And she has had a baby, a daughter, now 15 months old.

Adichie is still somewhat in the blast zone, not entirely caught up on sleep, but has published a short book, Dear Ijeawele, Or A Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions, an extended version of a letter to a friend who, after having her own baby girl, asked Adichies advice on how to raise her to be feminist. I have had twin girls myself since our last meeting, so I am curious about her approach, not least because one of my two-year-olds currently identifies as Bob the Builder and the other as Penelope Pitstop. I would like to equip them to be themselves, while resisting whatever projections might be foisted upon them. We show each other baby photos and smile. Welcome to the world of anxiety, Adichie says.

The success of We Should All Be Feminists has made Adichie as prominent for her feminism as for her novels, to the extent that now I get invited to every damned feminist thing in the whole world. She has always been an agony aunt of sorts, the unpaid therapist for my family and friends, but having the feminist label attached has changed things, and not just among her intimates. I was opened to a certain level of hostility that I hadnt experienced before as a writer and public figure.

This is partly why she has written the new book, to reclaim the word feminism from its abusers and misusers, a category within which she would include certain other progressives, and to lay down in plain, elegant English her beliefs about child-raising.

Dear Ijeawele is, in some ways, a very basic set of appeals; to be careful with language (never say because you are a girl), avoid gendered toys, encourage reading, dont treat marriage as an achievement, reject likability. Her job is not to make herself likable, her job is to be her full self, she writes in reference to her friends daughter, a choice Adichie has come to elevate almost above any other.

That day in Lagos last summer, her friends were furious at the cheek of the young mans question, but she rather liked his bravery and honesty in asking it. She replied in the same spirit. Keep your love, Adichie said. Because, sadly, while I love to be loved, I will not accept your love if it comes with these conditions.

Having a baby has made Adichie think differently about her own parents, particularly her mother. Grace Adichie, who had six children and worked her way up from being a university administrator to the registrar, taught her daughter to love fashion as well as books, and was a very cool mum whom she idolised as a child. Nonetheless, and in the manner of most snotty young adults, young Chimamanda went through a phase of being very superior to her mother. Now, the novelist looks at her daughter and gulps.

Adichie recently came across her own kindergarten reports. My father keeps them all. You know what the teacher wrote? She is brilliant, but she refuses to do any work when shes annoyed. I was five years old. She laughs. I couldnt believe it. My husband couldnt believe it. I must have been an annoying child.

Its not as if she comes from a family of radicals. My parents are not like that. Theyre conventional, reasonable, responsible, good, kind people. Im the crazy. But their love and support made that crazy thrive.

Unlike Adichie, who was raised exclusively in Nigeria, her daughter will be raised in two cultures and subject to slightly diverging social expectations. Already, Adichie says with a laugh, friends and relatives from home are concerned that her mothering is insufficiently stern.

A friend was just visiting and she said to me, Your parenting is not very Nigerian. In Nigeria and, I think, in many cultures you control children. And I feel like, my daughter is 15 months, she doesnt have a sense of consequences. And I enjoy watching her. So she tears a page of a book? Whatever. She throws my shoes down. So? Its fun. I love that shes quite strong-willed. The joke between Adichie and her husband whom, to her intense annoyance, their daughter looks much more like is that her character cleaves to the maternal side. He says to me, Well, at least we know where she got her personality from. Shes quite fierce.

In the new book, Adichies advice is not only to provide children with alternatives to empower boys and girls to understand there is no single way to be but also to understand that the only universal in this world is difference. In terms of the evolution of feminism, these are not new lessons, but that is rather Adichies point. She is not writing for other feminist writers, and shows some frustration at what she sees as the solipsism of much feminist debate.

That morning, on the way to see her, I had read a review of a new book by Jessa Crispin, entitled Why I Am Not A Feminist: A Feminist Manifesto, a critique of everything that is wrong with feminism today. If one can get over the eye-rolling aspect of books by feminists decrying the feminism of other feminists for degrading the word feminist by being insufficiently feminist, the book does raise questions about where one should be focusing ones efforts.

Fashion blogger Chiara Ferragni wears Adichies Dior T-shirt during Paris fashion week, January 2017. Photograph: Edward Berthelot/Getty Images

The proposition is that feminism has become so mainstream as to be an empty marketing tool, a mere slogan on a bag or a T-shirt. Without being named, Adichie is implicated in this critique, given that last year she collaborated with Christian Dior on a T-shirt bearing the line We Should All Be Feminists; depending on ones view, this is either a perfect example of pointless sloganeering or a brilliant piece of preaching to the unconverted.

Im already irritated, Adichie says. This idea of feminism as a party to which only a select few people get to come: this is why so many women, particularly women of colour, feel alienated from mainstream western academic feminism. Because, dont we want it to be mainstream? For me, feminism is a movement for which the end goal is to make itself no longer needed. I think academic feminism is interesting in that it can give a language to things, but Im not terribly interested in debating terms. I want peoples marriages to change for the better. I want women to walk into job interviews and be treated the same way as somebody who has a penis.

Still, one can see a theoretical obscenity about the Dior collaboration: the words of a movement that should be concerned with helping low-income women, used to promote and make money for a wealthy company. On the other hand: what is the damage?

Yes: whats the damage? Adichie says. I would even argue about the theoretically obscene. Theres a kind of self-righteousness to the ultra-left that is hard for me to stomach. Its approach to poverty can sometimes border on condescension. I often think that people who write a lot about poverty need to go and spend more time with poor people. I think about Nigerian women who can hardly afford anything but who love fashion. They have no money, but they work it.

Adichie mentions a TV soap opera that used to run in Nigeria called The Rich Also Cry, a terrible drama series, she says, that was very popular. But sometimes I think about that title. So, the creative director of Christian Dior is obviously a woman of some privilege. But does it then mean that she doesnt have gender-based problems in her life? Because she does. Does it mean she doesnt have this magnificent rage about gender injustice? Because she does. Wanting to use that slogan was it going to make the world a better place? No. But I think theres a level of consciousness-raising and a level of subversion that I like.

She doesnt believe it was a cynical marketing ploy? No. Sorry. Feminism is not that hot. I can tell you I would sell more books in Nigeria if I stopped and said Im no longer a feminist. I would have a stronger following, I would make more money. So when people say, Oh, feminisms a marketing ploy, it makes me laugh.

The bigger issue here is one of range. Adichies irritation with aspects of what she thinks of as professional feminism is that it runs counter to her ideas as a writer: that people contain multitudes. She is a brilliant novelist and a serious thinker, and she is also someone who makes no apology for her own trivial interests. Life doesnt always follow ideology, she says. You might believe in certain things and life gets in and things just become messy. You know? I think thats the space that fiction, and having a bit more of an imaginative approach, makes. And that the feminist speaking circuit doesnt really make room for.

There is much in the new book about double standards, including those governing the images of motherhood and fatherhood. I think we need to stop giving men cookies for doing what they should do, she says, and goes on to explain that her husband, who needs less sleep than her, tends to get up in the night to tend to the baby. On the one hand, I realise that my husband is unusual; on the other, I feel resentful when hes overpraised by my family and friends. Hes like Jesus.

He probably senses shes about to go off the deep end, I suggest, and Adichie smiles to acknowledge how impossible she is. I did all the physical work to produce her! Theres something fundamentally wrong with the way weve constructed what it means to be female in the world.

Photograph: Stephen Voss for the Guardian

This is something she writes about in a lovely passage of the new book about hair. As a child, Adichie and her sisters and every other girl she knew were routinely tortured with a metal comb to subdue their hair, something her brothers were spared. Im glad I wrote that, Adichie says. We had just come back from Lagos and my sister, God bless her, had already had a talk with me about my daughters hair. She said, You need to do something about it. With my family, theres an eye-roll and a here-we-go-again with her, and she said to me, Do you want me to send you a set of combs? And I was like, No, thank you. And I know its going to keep happening. But, no, Im not going to conform in that way. Im not going to have my child go through pain because society expects a certain neatness. It happened to me, its not going to happen to her. And Im ready to have all the battles I need to have.

The original letter on which Dear Ijeawele is based has been shared on Facebook, and while Adichie was in Lagos, a woman whod read it approached her in a shop and said, Heres my daughter, look at her hair. She had very loose cornrows that were not neat according to Nigerians. And she said, You inspired that. My daughter is happier, Im happier. And do you know, it was the highlight of my month.

This is not just a question of image. It is also about time. Women have less time than men, in almost every arena, because their responsibilities to look or act a certain way are more onerous.

It is one of Adichies bugbears that as someone who loves fashion, she is by default not taken seriously. When Boots approached her to be the face of its No7 makeup range, she said yes, because she thought it might be fun; in the end, she says, it became vaguely alarming. I have no regrets, but you wake up one day and think, what the hell have I done? There were too many of these pictures everywhere. Her point, however, is that its not that Im a feminist and made a strategic choice to speak about makeup and fashion. Its that I was raised by Grace Adichie in a culture in which you care about how you look. Its a part of me I once hid, because I felt that I had to to be serious. Now, Im just being who I am.

Recently, Adichies identity has been tested in new ways. I wonder if she is less affected by President Trump than an American, on the basis that she is less invested in the American story. Quite the opposite, she says. Because theres a part of me that needs a country I can think of as being one that largely works. Which is not a luxury that Nigeria can have. She laughs.

Someone said to me, Now that this is happening in the US, do you think of moving back to Nigeria? And I thought, no, because its not any better there. I admire America. I dont think of myself as American Im not. So its not mine. But I admire it, and so theres a sense that this thing I built in my head, its been destroyed.

There is also, she says, something familiar about it all. American democracy has never been tested. You might have disagreed ideologically with George W Bush, but he still kind of followed the rules. Here, it feels like Nigeria. It really does. Its that feeling of political uncertainty that Im very familiar with, but not a feeling I like. Its ugly. But even worse, because America is so powerful, and so much at the centre of the world, these things have consequences for everyone. Nigeria doesnt have that kind of reach, so our problems remain our problems.

In January, Adichie and her husband joined the Womens March in DC. It was fleeting, and symbolic, she says, but it gave me the smallest slice of hope. There are all of these people who seem to realise that America has changed by electing an unhinged person. On the other hand, theres a part of me thats very sceptical of too much sentimentality. I hope it translates into people organising and going out to vote.

Long before talk about piercing the filter bubble, Adichie instinctively subscribed to rightwing blogs and newsletters. She was an early watcher of Fox News, until it became too unhinged and ridiculous. But she has carried on, because Im interested in ideological concerns and how people differ, and how we should build a society. Whats a welfare state? People who have less, are we responsible for them? I think we are. And I think I can make a selfish case, which is apparently what appeals to people on the right. People on the left say we should do it because we should be kind. And people on the right think, Excuse me? But if you say to them, If these people dont get healthcare, they will go to the ER and your tax dollars will pay for it, suddenly they sit up.

Adichie with her husband, Ivara Esege. Photograph: DDAA/ZOB/Daniel Deme/WENN

As a result of her reading, rightwing ideology is not something I think is evil, she says. Some. A bit. But, in general, I dont. I have friends who are good, kind people who are on the right. But Donald Trump is an exception. Its not an objection to a conservative, because I dont even think hes a conservative. My objection is an objection to chaos. Each time I turn on the news, Im holding my breath.

Trumps erosion of language is one of the most frightening things about him, but even progressives, Adichie says, can be sloppy on this front. In response to her new book, a reporter emailed her the question: Why not humanism? (instead of feminism). To which, she says, I thought, what part of the fucking book did this person not read?

Its like the people who go around saying All Lives Matter, I say, in response to the Black Lives Matter movement. Right, which I find deeply offensive and very dishonest. Because we have to name something in order to fix it, which is why I insist on the word feminist or feminism.

This, she says, in spite of the fact that many of her friends, particularly black women, resist that word, because the history of feminism has been very white and has assumed women meant white women. Political discussion in this country still does that. Theyll say, Women voted for… and then, Black people voted for… And I think: Im black and a woman, so where do I fit in here?

As a result, Many of my friends who are not white will say, Im an intersectional feminist, or Im a womanist. And I have trouble with that word, because it has undertones of femininity as this mystical goddess-mother thing, which makes me uncomfortable. So we need a word. And my hope is we use feminism often enough that it starts to lose all the stigma and becomes this inclusive, diverse thing.

This is her goal and her defence, although she still doesnt see why she needs one. Her understanding of feminism is intertwined with her understanding that we all want to be more than one thing. And anyway, she repeats, Can people please stop telling me that feminism is hot? Because its not. Adichie looks magnificently annoyed. Honestly.

Beware feminism lite: an extract from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichies letter-turned-book, Dear Ijeawele

Be a full person. Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by it. You dont even have to love your job; you can merely love the confidence and self-fulfilment that come with doing and earning. Please reject the idea that motherhood and work are mutually exclusive. Our mothers worked full-time while we were growing up, and we turned out well at least you did; the jury is still out on me.

In these coming weeks of early motherhood, be kind to yourself. Ask for help. Expect to be helped. There is no such thing as a Superwoman. Parenting is about practice and love.

Give yourself room to fail. A new mother does not necessarily know how to calm a crying baby. Read books, look things up on the internet, ask older parents, or just use trial and error. But, above all, take time for yourself. Nurture your own needs.

I have no interest in the debate about women doing it all, because it is a debate that assumes that caregiving and domestic work are singularly female domains, an idea that I strongly reject. Domestic work and caregiving should be gender-neutral, and we should be asking not whether a woman can do it all, but how best to support parents in their dual duties at work and at home.

Photograph: Stephen Voss for the Guardian

Beware the danger of what I call Feminism Lite; the idea of conditional female equality. Being a feminist is like being pregnant. You either are or you are not. You either believe in the full equality of men and women, or you do not.

Teach your daughter to question language. A friend of mine says she will never call her daughter princess. The word is loaded with assumptions, of a girls delicacy, of the prince who will come to save her. This friend prefers angel and star. So decide the things you will not say to your child. You know that Igbo joke, used to tease girls who are being childish What are you doing? Dont you know you are old enough to find a husband? I used to say that often. But now I choose not to. I say, You are old enough to find a job. Because I do not believe that marriage is something we should teach young girls to aspire to.

Try not to use words like misogyny and patriarchy. We feminists can sometimes be too jargony. Teach her that if you criticise X in women but do not criticise X in men, you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women. For X please insert words like anger, ambition, loudness, stubbornness, coldness, ruthlessness.

Do you remember how we laughed and laughed at an atrociously written piece about me some years ago? The writer had accused me of being angry, as though being angry were something to be ashamed of. Of course I am angry. I am angry about racism. I am angry about sexism. But I recently came to the realisation that I am angrier about sexism than I am about racism. Because in my anger about sexism, I often feel lonely. Because I love, and live among, many people who easily acknowledge race injustice but not gender injustice.

Teach your daughter to question men who can have empathy for women only if they see them as relational rather than as individual equal humans. Men who, when discussing rape, will say something like, If it were my daughter or wife or sister. Yet such men do not need to imagine a male victim of crime as a brother or son in order to feel empathy.

Teach her, too, to question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be revered and championed a sentiment that is all too common. Tell her that women dont need to be championed and revered; they just need to be treated as equal human beings.

This is a condensed and edited extract from Dear Ijeawele, Or A Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, published on Tuesday by Fourth Estate at 10. To order a copy for 8.50, go to bookshop.theguardian.com

This article was amended on 4 March 2017. It originally referred to Lagos as Nigerias capital. This has now been corrected.

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from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘Can people please stop telling me feminism is hot?’