#I am so sorry you guys are getting the bestie treatment rn

[oyasumiaow]

going back through the empathy chapters always gives me shit to lose my mind about as a jgy stan specifically though LOL

just from this last round:

like it's crazy how wwx's clear bias is just taken as bald fact. for one thing, mr sir, how do you know he was not feeling frustrated and sad? he's coming from long months to a year (???) of hiding as a spy in wrh's court and he just made the most insane gamble with his own life and safety to strike wrh and save nmj's life. yes we all know that jgy did indeed kill wrh but what is insane to me at this point is that when nmj asks him if wrh is dead, meng yao says "he is... probably dead". he's not even sure! that wrh is dead! but he was willing to do all of that and blow his cover to save nmj. even though he clearly expected the attack (he was already dodging/running when nmj was reaching for/regaining baxia) -- I think he's entitled to be a little frustrated! and sad! and whatever else!

second of all! WAS HE WRONG? right after this is when nmj has his infamous "then I'll kill myself after killing you!" declaration so even nmj can't say that he was wrong!

the second thing is this and forgive the long quote but here we go (from EXR chapter 50):

god ok so this one always makes me a little bonkers because this is usually presumed to be jgy manipulating lxc. certainly nmj thinks so, or at least considers this duplicitous. and maybe he is! he could be! but the thing is: we don't know. we have no idea the context in which this came up because nmj just walked up at this point and listened in. (bad habit of his with xiyao ain't it?)

the thing is, jgy has had no actual catharsis of what went on on those stairs. sure he has been enacting his murder plan -- in fact this scene is the very scene in which nmj qi deviates and dies. but also given the situation at jinlintai he has literally no one but lxc to talk to about this sort of thing: jzx is dead, he has been mostly trying to protect nhs from nmj when he's in qinghe, and he's already decided he would be safer speeding up nmj's death before he takes jgy (or nhs, or lxc, or any number of people) down with him.

how many times has he seen lxc since then? yes lxc used the rebuilding of cloud recesses as an excuse to have jgy stand in to play cleansing for nmj in an effort to bring them together, but also... he was rebuilding cloud recesses! and jgy was doing everything his father ordered on top of flying back and forth to qinghe all the time. this could be the first time they've been able to sit down and have a proper conversation about anything in weeks. and if you'd recently had a fucked up fight with your sworn brother in which he debased you and your mother and tried to kill you, don't you think you'd want to complain? just a little???

"just last night he had been all soft and innocent as he talked with Nie Mingjue" like yes! why would he make a fuss to nmj's face! yes he is actively killing him but also the last time he spoke back and argued with nmj he was kicked down the stairs and had his life threatened! lmfao

anyway the point is not that he couldn't be manipulating lxc here. the point is that every time jgy displays emotions it is taken (by nmj, by wwx via nmj, and apparently by vast swathes of the audience) as him being a perfect little actor and manipulator. doesn't he get to have feelings though? doesn't he get to vent a little to the one fucking person who would even care to listen to him?

[iuwon]

iuwon’s 1k milestone.txt

eating yummy walls.

HELLO HELLO i went into hibernation for a few days and i came back to this 🤕 (edit: this was supposed to be posted yesterday but i was too busy so i couldn’t finish it I’M SORRY i’ll just continue where i left off) i know i don’t do milestone posts/celebrations but THAT’S IS SO FUCKING COOL HELLO??? I’M ALL OVER THE PLACE RN. THANK YOU SO MUCH MVSDMGAEDRF %#@^$# i’ve never done a milestone post before and i cannot make a coherent thank you post with the ‘this-is-crazy-wtf-am-i-dead-how-did-this-happen’ state i’m in so i’ll have to make do with me talking random shit:

i know i’ve been busy lately and my blog is nothing but inconsistent 😭 not to mention that all the content i made is literally nothing special at all 🤡 i’m super thankful to receive such caring and sweet treatment from you besties though :(( like this means a lot. ya’ll. i’m shitting my pants rn. i’ll sell my liver for you - like THANK YOU. this has been my dream for so long.

but 1k sexy beasts. oml. that’s #%#%@# for my introverted ass 🧎‍♀️ i’m trying SO BAD to not start wailing here and now and keep my cool. i must’ve saved the entire damn fucking universe in my past life to be able to have you sexies :((((( YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET I ALWAYS CRY. 

i never thought i’d reach this place istg i was hanging onto this blog with thin ice 😻 to the 92398539485982389 times i almost left 🤤 seeing @/iuwon’s growth through the past 3 or 4 months i’ve started this blog is making me emotional wtf. MY BABY. 

on a serious note, thank you for sticking around, i owe you my life 🤞🤞 and a ring i hope we can get to be together for a very long time !! i’ll continue to work hard, please look forward to my future works !! i really treasure all of you, i don’t care if you’re a moot or not, that doesn’t matter to me - i love all of you idc idc. ya’ll are literally my family i’m not kidding. i’m so glad to have met a lot of amazing people that always make my day <//3 (and i’m also vERY glad to see people telling me that i brighten up theirs too even if it’s a lie) i won’t go emotional to spare your eyes and my dignity don’t worry 🙄

i talked too much i’ll stop now 😻😻 THANK YOU VV MUCH AGAIN I LOVE YOU