#I am once again thanking DADGUT for transcript help

[cakeofthepan]

Shoutout to Elyse for some of the best one liners and the toothless girl rep I didn’t know I needed

[Audio Transcript:

Elyse: They turn and they see maybe… the most popular girl in school.

Beth: Goddammit!

[men gasping] 

Freddie: Even Taylor's sweating a little bit.

[laughter] 

Elyse: He should be. because Erica Drippins…

[group laughter]

Elyse: Is... Five— she is an angel on Earth.

Erica: Well, it’s a few days ago.

Beth: Jesus!

Taylor: A few days ago!

Erica: My teeth were here and then all of a sudden, they just weren't. And, oh, my God, it's been awful. I've been living like all of you, rejected. A pariah of society!

[Freddie Laughs]

Taylor: Erica, you are by far, the coolest and most popular girl in school

Taylor: I think the move is simultaneous entry for multiple entry points!

Erica: I'll take the secret door that only the popular kids are made aware of.

Taylor: Wait, what?!

[group laughter]

Elyse: And, I mean, she's just the total package.

Beth: [sighs] Great.

Elyse: This girl.

Freddie: Academically, how is she?

Matt: Total package. 

Elyse: [exhales] That? And I mean, that's the thing.

[group laughter] 

Elyse: You think, “How- how could she have it all? How could she have it all?” She does.

Erica: Well, FYI [pronounced ‘fwai’], my dad is a dentist. We have a really nice house. And two pools!

Freddie: [cackles] 

Scary: Goddammit.

Freddie: Two pools!

Erica: Yeah. Do you guys like to swim? Because if you can help me, there's a lot of swimming in your future.

Will: [laughing tosses him off-mic] 

Anthony: I fucking love Erica.

Normal: Erica, are those your teeth? Can you tell from here?

Erica: I'd recognize them anywhere. 

[all laughing]

Elyse: But she's also the captain of the cheer team. And my God, she is a horse girl..

Erica: Normie, and you? I cannot believe it. I cannot believe-

Normal: What did I do?

Erica: I let you hold me from the bottom! In a triple jump!

[laughter] 

Erica: And these are the kind of people that you consort with?

Erica: Sir, it's okay. I can handle anything. Riding a horse broke my hymen.

[loud, barking and wheezing, group laughter]

Beth: And what is that?

Matt: Elyse looks uncomfortable.

Elyse: I just… saw some fanart of me as a furry.

[elated laughter]

Beth: Please! Please, please!

Anthony: Gonna go ahead and have to see that! Gotta see that!

End Transcript]