#I am now writing these shitposts for my real target audience: friends who have no fucking clue what malevolent is

[drowningparty]

O Azathoth, creator god, one Pandora update error away from destroying the entire universe, must be rough learning your spawn changed their name to Kayne, started dating a human, and stopped replying to your texts. Well, the human doesn't know they're dating, hence the chain. It's okay, I'm sure it will all be over soon

[diamondarmored-blog1]

this is whiny af. and very long. bit of an explanation of some stuff and a wee request. 

warning, there’s a brief mention of sexual abuse and A LOT of historic drama. I’ve tried really hard not to appear in search tags for the relevant areas, so please try not to cause it to appear by mentioning the fandom or muse name without cutting it up (e.g. sei//fer) because as you’ll see, I don’t want these people near me. sit down and let uncle charlie tell you a horror story.

I’ve been slow again on here, I’M SORRY!! I was making an FFX blog. I know I’m getting a reputation for being a serial blog hopper, but the reason for that is, I’ve had two muses I really really loved and nothing else has ever come close. One was my Chuami, who naturally dropped in intensity as time went on (I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing - you can’t keep forcing a muse into ever more dramatic scenarios without giving them a break or they end up mutated and OP). The other was V//elka. Seifer is the nearest I’ve gotten but there’s still a void. :,(

V//elka did not die naturally. You may have seen me mention “the other fandom I was in” and how it’s a cesspit of bullying asscreases, sexual harassers, liars, stalkers, thieves and assorted other villains. But you have not heard the tale.

There was one other blog for that muse when I made mine. I asked her if she’d be okay with another being around, even though I’m not obliged to ask permission to make a blog, and she completely ignored me. I thought maybe it was a weird thing to ask, and my other blog in that fandom was welcomed and pretty popular with the non-RPer audience we had. I was the only one of that character active. So I just went ahead and did it, thinking it was nbd. I was Wrong. Within not-very-long, the girl and her friends began to employ every trick, tactic and scheme they could to bully me into abandoning, including but not limited to: forcing new RPers to choose between them and me, freezing out anyone who was seen to interact with me, stealing my content, stealing my friends’ muses(! yeah, the whole thing), copying my backstory and ships wherever ridiculing them didn’t work, incorporating my work into their muses in the same way, copying my art (one of them was an art student and I am a very bad beginner - she would take my drawings and redo them with a higher level of skill and collect the praise for it), sending spies to pretend to be my friend so they could try to trick me into insulting them so they could get caps, lying about me (one of them spread the rumour that I was some kind of sex obsessed pervert - LMAO AMARITE?!), making PSA posts about how I’m not entitled to be part of the fandom, and blaming me for their personal issues (e.g. a historically kind and well mannered user who had been absent for months made a callout post and @’d them all, explaining that he couldn’t be there anymore because they had bullied him and made fun of his abusive history - this was somehow my fault. One of them said I put him up to it because I was jealous of her(?) and they actually responded to him by saying “sorry your daddy touched you” and making jokes about how they’d never be friends with someone as low as him). Eventually, even though me and my main ship partner had a shitload of non-RPer fans for the work we were doing and our partnership was very popular, neither of us could even log in anymore. Every time we spoke or moved, some stupid plan was enacted to make sure it backfired on us. We were replicated and our muses turned into pandering caricatures of what they originally were until we left. My muse was a real point of pride for me, she was the best example of a strong, confident female lead I had ever written, and she was made into a sex crazed goth domme by the very people who accused me of that and declared it abhorrent. Hedge’s was turned from a complicated, fiercely proud, genderfluid(?) killer to a fragile little flower with a dick in a dress. It wasn’t just us, by the way. Every good writer who joined the fandom is gone. They were all gone shortly after I arrived. I tracked some down and asked why, and they all told the same story, one of them said it was cyclical and now that I’m gone, they’ll choose someone else in my place. Meanwhile - here’s the kicker - the group responsible don’t even fucking write.The only time they do is when they’re using it as a weapon against somebody, by stealing their plot or their ship and acting it out themselves. Now that the writers have embarked on a mass exodus and none have appeared to take our places, all they do is shitpost because there’s no one left to target. The stolen muses’ blogs are dead. In between all this, as if this wasn’t enough of a problem, three of them have a penchant for little girls. 

Where are you going with this, Charlie? Well, chums, first of all, it goes a little way to explaining my aversion to smut. It explains why I bang on about welcoming other Seifers so much, why I’m so strict on drama now, and why I’ll bite the head off of anyone who claims to be the sole granter of permission to make a certain muse. I instantly block anyone who overdramatises things to make them sound more dramariffic than they are, no discussion, no exceptions. I am extremely wary of anyone with defensive rules, or people who post unprompted PSAs about ~being nice to duplicates~ because in my experience so far, it’s the shady people who do that - they have something to cover up. I handled it pretty badly at the time, because I didn’t want to make things worse so I let myself get steamrollered. If it happened again now, I wouldn’t mind losing every follower I have as a result of telling them to shove it up their festering assholes. ANYWAY I’m telling you all this because my search for a replacement muse has gone cold, and that’s left me feeling a bit dead and uninspired, which leads me to keep losing my flow with Seifer as well. Lately, I’ve had a lot of casual-sleazy smut crossing my dash from sources I don’t follow, and it sorta brings back bad memories. SO I went onto V//elka’s blog with the idea of reclaiming it somehow, because it feels like she’s in a locked room full of dangerous weirdos and I can’t get her out unless I extract her completely. Here’s where the request comes in.  I really want to bring her away from all that and keep her somehow. I wiped away all the content that was bothering me, changed her url, and I might change her theme too, I’m not sure. Her block list is 200 users long because I blocked fucking everyone from that fandom who was on my follower list to ensure a totally clean break. I’ve added in sketched out FFVIII and FFX verses, removed her source ones and put a request-only line on them to deter anyone who joins that fandom in future. I think the only person I’ll write V in her normal, original verse with is Mirna at the minute (she came from this hellhole as well). If I finish giving her a facelift, will I be able to engage the services of my good friends and neighbours here to help me draw her out of that environment? You don’t have to commit to anything, just treat her like any OC. Even if it doesn’t work and I can’t revive her, at least I’ll have tried. If it doesn’t fail and I do manage to scrape back some focus, the blog hopping will cease, lmao.  If anyone feels like doing me a solid. That’d be great. Cos honestly, that whole experience tainted RP as a whole for me and I’ve never really been as into it since.