#I am not normally like this but damn exu has me in a fucking vice

[loviris]

Still thinking about Zerxus and Asmodeus. This is the God of lies and deceit, more beautiful than any other. He wears the face of the most beautiful person in the person who he is in front if’s life. Who else could be that but the love of your life. Of whom you loved, implicitly trusted, and who you feel guilt over being unable to save wishing it was you instead because he was so much better in your eyes. As you stumble to fill the large gap in your life, that pedestal. Knowing you can never replace him. That the guilt and rage over being forced to take his place in the most advanced and powerful city of mages who complete astonishing feats every day but are were unable in all their power, fix this injustice. So called benevolent Gods unable to be found despite walking the very same plane as you. The sheer betrayal felt every single day, not only by the world but by yourself, you capabilities. And suddenly there is an opportunity for a second chance at saving someone, in a familiar position.

You see this being suffering like your husband did. Struggling under the boot of a God that you will never believe is better or worth worship than anyone else. Saving it’s life from a being others would, in their worship, believe the so called benevolent God correct despite what is in front of their face, let alone stand up to them, question them. A being suffering from wounds from a prison they have been trapped since the time of legends, from other Gods, from an explosive breakout. The fundamental truth of your existence is being able to access the essence of divinity that these Gods are supposed to only have access to, who are kind enough to share it with their followers but only just enough. So here is a being who rules over the domain lies and deceit. Only you know there are always too sides to a story. And then there is the truth. A being who speaks with a silver tongue, a part of he was made to be by the others around him. Not truly his choice, not in control, unable to change the outcome, reflecting your own feelings of your position. You know this suffering you live it every day. And yet you wake up and choose to be kind despite it. Even to those who may not deserve it. In positions and beliefs that you are whole heartedly opposed to.

And in your kindness, is what you place your belief in. In a world where much like today is rarely found in those with power. You aim to be different, to use that Divinity you wrenched for yourself, to protect. Your conviction to do so granting you this access. And much like the other beings with that same power given a role you had no choice in. And that is why it is so easy to help this being, this person, as you see yourself as well as the love of your life. So you choose to believe, despite the propaganda you have been fed all of your life about so called “betrayer” Gods. After all history is written by the victors. So again there may be some truth to the history told, on the other side of the coin there is what the others remember as the true betrayal in their story. And a truth unseen by both sides.

It is so easy then to believe in this silver tongued devil. Knowing what he says rings of some truth. True parts of an incomplete story. After all when the losing team can’t tell their side, locked away, striped of their power and their creations, their sons and daughters. The whole story lost to time. The omission glaring. So you take your kindness, you listen, you believe. You try to help after all that is what you do, your pledge to yourself, your family, your friends, your city that is not your home. After all the best lies, the most believable ones always have some truth under the veil. And who could be a better liar that the being whose domain is just that.

There is much to be said of hubris in this age. But though hubris has brought destruction. Of how we know the story ends. The most gut wrenching is that of a man who is kind, refuses even now to believe he shouldn’t, couldn’t help. Who will continue to try to protect dispute everything so that he never has to fail to save someone anyone from the same fate as him, his love lost. And that despite the intention, being as inherently selfish as the rest of those wizards around him.