#I am not defending him or Daan

[queerbauten]

Western Joost fans when the Europapa Guy doesn't hate The Bad Europeans™ (Russians):

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary404

10/31-11/1/24

thursday-friday

hhappy halloween.

ate korean takeout and candy today... didn't do very much else, not going out or anything. tomorrow we are going to an anime con. excited about that. just trying to be normal today so i can have enough sleep for tomorrow.

the coloring is going okayy... it's fun and weird to figure out. i'm still working on like. the shirt type thing. cardigan type shirt type thingy. it's a thingy. it's a photo i can't even dl off instagram, so i cannot post it. or i'm basing it on that but it's obviously different. it's hard to figure materials out. i am realizing though, it pays to go brighter and darker, despite thinking it'll be too much. too many shades near eachother in color range + temperature makes stuff look kind of gross. so i'm happy to realize this. i should probably go colder + lighter for bright parts of this top. that would probably look rather good. or at least, help me out some in terms of getting the thing to look not so flat. but i don't want it to look... un-flat? i don't want it to look like a 3d orb.

ummm... what else. the daan drawing has stalled i think i need to erase tiny daan and needles and stitches... or... i'm kinda attached to those two. but tiny daan... he's just not doing it for me... maybe i do big stitches? remove tiny stitches, remove tiny daan, do bigger stitches. or idk... idk what my problem is. i think it looks fine actually. i just want more somewhere. i think the composition is a little weird. okay i moved it to the center more. that works much better.

i am currently just doing skincare to go to sleep soon. i finished what is free of that caveh zahedi show, the show about the show. 13 episodes. very odd thing. i do not like caveh but i am unfortunately compelled by him or powerfully curious about what it is he does because it seems so misguided. he's interested in radical subjectivity, preserving his subjectivity and confronting you with it, or not just you, the people his life, showing you that, and showing you the lengths he goes to articulate himself, the things he says about how he feels when he feels them. he grounds all this in philosophy stuff, you know, there's some nietzsche here in how he approaches morals, what is actually good, what is just the invented good made to defend some ideology, that kinda thing. but it feels, i don't know. i always appreciate people trying to operate that way, to see that what is good can often be, or often is, invented to support some other structure and in truth doesn't do very much that is good or creates unpleasant hierarchies for instance, forgiveness, people who always say sorry because they've been made to feel sorry and so then there is this issue of the multiplication of guilt, the need for penance, and then the fact that, having done little to nothing wrong, rather than forgiveness all one really does is forward that guilt and desire to be seen as not something in need of forgiveness to others, making it you know, this desired thing. but saying sorry is important, you must say sorry, and change, when you do wrong. you can't be carried around by shame, you have to face what has been done, you know. caveh is interested in facing things, with other people, and interrogating himself, but the only perspective of interest in his interrogation is his own. or it feels that way, others you know they just seem to be these discrete units which move past him, as if in a coral reef he is a fish, others are anemones, and he articulates the pains or the pleasures they offer to him, as he floats by, always by, sometimes with these things for some time, but always by. we are all transitory, this is something else though. it is manipulative feeling, his humor even, the fact he is funny, i can't tell if he tries or not but he must be, this disarms people, as does the spectacle. isn't it strange to want people disarmed, if you can disarm everyone or at least lots of people, then doesn't that mean you are by definition on guard, not disarming anyone. even if you don't hold anything back, the way you do it and interact with the other subjectivity before you, you're articulating it in a way which will get something out of someone. always something out.

i'm not sure... humor is an interesting thing to reflect on socially. i really like making people laugh and being funny. i don't think of it as disarming people usually, unless they seem cagey, then i think, i need to like, loosen this person up. but subconsciously, am i up to anything? i don't think so but it i guess troubles me but this is really just leading me down a path i travel down frequently because i worry i'm secretly evil and i don't know it a lot. but i'm always funny because i want to entertain myself too, then it helps loosen people up, and we riff with eachother, there's something happening there. i don't know, if caveh is just entertaining himself or entertaining himself by framing things a certain way... still it just seems so different when it's done via film and shown to people, you know? it feels purposeful when done like that, about these particular things, cheating, being unpleasant to be around, stuff of that nature. i dunno...

here's a shot from his show i thought was funny because of this big woman. all i really have to say about it. funny mural.

okay, i need to go sleep now,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[abovenormai]

3 Years na Hindi naging Sapat.

All these years, ilan beses na pala tayo tinulak. Ilan taon ding still showing yung ano control ko. I never get the chance to defend myself because I was thinking iniisip ko. Baka, baka may masabi akong mali.

Ilang taon, I'm being dumped pero every morning ako lagi yung nauunang mag-good morning. Mag-seen and yung mga taong yun. Konti lang, maramdaman ko lang na mag-seen at minsan may mga oras pang hindi magparamdam nasasaktan na ako. Tapos, later on masaya na ule kasi maramdaman ko na siya.

Ngayong, he is more on active showing his love. Admitted, there are times na still clueless about his love kung yun ba talaga. Masasabing yun pala talaga pero when I am trying to tell him directly through message. Deleting it. So I don't know where else to go or where I will position myself when so many times.

I've been pushed away.

Nakikita ko. Pero hindi sigurado. Hindi alam kasi nangangapa ako sa isang bagay na hindi ko naman alam if pwedeng panghawakan na walang kalinawan kung yun na ba yun?

Dumadalas, palagi nakikita ko.

Maraming mga paraan ilan beses na tayo itinulak at hinila pabalik sa kanya.

Pero yung ilang taon na pananatili ay hindi naman laging consistent pero...

Dumadating pa rin. Nandiyan pa rin. Nandito pa rin.

Narealize kong, ilang taon kong pinanghawakan yung bagay na pagseseen sa kung anong oras ako nagising, inalala, hanggang sa pagtulog.

Siya pa rin.

Isang araw, nakikita kong masaya at kasama yung iba.

Bakit sakin hindi magawang magmessage. Magkita at makasamang muli kahit kwentuhan lang. Kahit makayakap lang.

Isang araw, nasaksaktan na rin muli tayo.

May mga oras di ako nakakapag-seen at siya hindi pa rin nakakapag-seen.

Hindi ko alam kung sinasadiyang Hindi magparamdam.

Pero ilang taong ganon. Pero nandito pa rin.

Narealize ko, bakit ako masasaktan, o bakit siya masasaktan. Kung...

Hindi naman namin ang schedule ng bawat isa.

Blinock, walang DP, gumawa ng photo na

"stuck here, eating for people to comeback."

May mga pagkakataong di ako nakakaseen dahil sa mga Hindi inaasahang pagkakataon pero nagagawan ko ng paraan.

Sa daan,

Sa event,

Umuulan,

At kahit yung ninakawan ako ng phone at yung number ko lang sa telegram ay nandon.

Pag-iyak at hagulgol dahil yun yung tanging namamagitan samin ang telegram at kailangan ko makuha yung number.

Nagawan ko paraan ang ilang araw at maparating na nawala ang phone ko.

Sa Reddit, Twitter I've been posting it. Na somehow mabasa niya. Kahit di naman kami talaga nag-uusap.

Hindi naman namin alam yung mga nangyayare sa mga buhay-buhay.

Oras, saan, ano, kailan?

Wala akong alam. Dahil yun ang totoo.

Ilang taon din tayong nanging illogical. Kung kailan lang nito na.

"Just seen recently"

yung haba ng panahon na ginugol at sa kahit ano pa ginagawa namin ay nawala na yun bigla.

Dahil sa may mga ginawa rin akong ginawa dahil sa...

Nasasaktan din tayo.

Pero how is it possible na kahit ganun ay pwede pa rin makapanakit sa oras at panahong hindi ka naman sigurado sa isang bagay kasi hindi mo ito alam.

Wala naman sinasabi sayo na o message na pwedeng panhawakan.

Ewan ko ba, ginawa ko na ang lahat. Alam ko ginawa na rin niya ang lahat.

Siguro hindi lang talaga sapat ang pagmamahal.

[starwarsfic]

I.4

Originally Posted July 10, 2020

Summary: Dooku finally found a way to get Obi-Wan to leave the Jedi.

Details: Nield & Obi-Wan.

xxxxxxx

The intel they had was shaky, at best, and Obi-Wan easily split up with his troopers (despite their protests) as they worked their ways through different wings of the complex.

When he entered one of the disused hangers and found a table surrounded by familiar people, every Force sensitive nearby must have registered his shock.

Nothing had indicated Dooku and many of the other Separatist leaders would be on this planet. Or that they'd be meeting with multiple rulers of Outer Rim planets they'd yet to annex.

Or that one of them would be someone Obi-Wan actually cared about.

"Nield." He could tell most of his enemies were surprised at his focus, had most likely expected to a fight from him as he called for reinforcements. "What are you doing?!"

Even though he was older, even though they'd only seen each other in brief holos over the years, he would never forget him. Even the Force thrummed in interest at their reunion, pulling Obi-Wan's attention towards Nield as though he was caught in the currents of an undertow.

For his part, Nield did look momentarily bashful, before the mask he wore as Governor of Melida/Daan fell back in place. "You know I have no love for the Senate, Obi-Wan."

"You'd bring ou--your people back into a war? Cerasi would never have--"

"Cerasi is gone, if she wasn't, she would have been enough for you to stay."

Obi-Wan almost flinched, even though Nield's tone was mild. He glanced around at their fascinated audience, catching Dooku's expression, and felt rage flicker through him.

"Is this because I wouldn't join you? You're punishing me now for--"

"Obi-Wan," Nield's strained tone drew his attention fully. "Why wouldn't you join him?"

Stiffening, having a hard time keeping the scowl off his face (he felt like he was thirteen again, but in the opposite position, raging as Nield tried to find reason). "I am a Jedi, I serve the Republic, how is that even a question?"

"Serve them even if it means going to war again? Ordering child soldiers to their deaths, again."

He rocked back, gripping onto a nearby railing, as fire-death-screams filled his memory for an instant before he could regain his composure. "I'm trying to stop the war, the war Dooku started."

"And you know why I did that, grandpadawan."

Swallowing down a hysterical laugh that tried to bubble up his throat, Obi-Wan stepped closer to Nield, searching his face, his presence. "I don't want to fight you, not any of you."

"Then don't. You shouldn't have ever had to leave, you should have never gone back to them. I know they didn't treat you any better after you returned."

"You know I can't."

"Because they care for you so much?" Obi-Wan did flinch, that time. "Do you remember what Cerasi would say about that? Her father told her what was right, and he was always wrong. What does it matter, he'd say, if thousands die, or millions die? The sky is still blue overhead. And our world still remains. The cause is what's important. And so your Jedi boss tells you what you must do, and you do it. Even though you know he's wrong," Nield finished the quote with a sardonic tone Cerasi would have never managed, "And that is called respect."

Obi-Wan hadn't realized he'd been moving forward, still, not until he stopped right in front of Nield, tilting his head to look up at him. He could feel that missing piece of them where Cerasi should have been, that emptiness inside of him that had lasted twenty years, that would never disappear.

Tension thrummed through the room and then his comm went off and for a moment it seemed like everyone might draw a weapon and attack.

He raised it towards his lips, eyes still locked with Nield's.

"...The East Wing is clear, I'll finish up here, then meet you back at the ship...."

None of the Vod'e would question him, at least not any of the ones with him now. They would obediently do whatever he said, children brainwashed to follow him, to die for him.

Nield wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan, pulling him into a tight hug. "I don't know what to do," he whispered, knowing he couldn't maintain his expected serenity when the Senate and Council would be talking about retaliating against Melida/Daan for leaving.

"You don't need to do anything," Nield whispered back, soothingly. "If you won't join, they're at least content to have you not fighting against them. All you need to do is come home."

He'd known, seen first hand, how manipulative Dooku could be, but this was more clever than he ever gave him credit for. Losing Obi-Wan would not just be a strategic loss, it would decimate morale across the Republic, even if he didn't suddenly become a Separatist general.

Without Nield around, he could block out the horror of what he was doing, what he was experiencing. He could forget what it was like to try to keep a comforting look on his face as he helped a child strap a suicide vest into place, when he watched an Elder murdering a kid just for speaking out. When he felt how young the clones were in the Force and couldn't save them all, could barely save any some days.

He glared over Nield's shoulder when he felt Dooku trying to sooth his grief-fear-pain in the Force, but couldn't bring himself to tell him to stop. It felt right, standing there in Nield's arms, knowing he could be on Melida/Daan within a few days if he just gave in.

Pulling away, he took a shaky breath, but thought he finally had his expression under control. "Did you sign anything, yet?"

Nield smiled gently, shaking his head. "We were just getting to that part." He set the pad in Obi-Wan's hand before he had to ask.

Beginning to look it over, using the Force to read faster than a human normally could, he spared only a glance towards Dooku and the others with him.

"You're buying a General of the Grand Army of the Republic with this, and I am not cheap."

xxxxxx

A/N: The quote Nield says is an only slightly changed actual quote from Cerasi in The Defenders of the Dead book in the Jedi Apprentice series.

[feelinkeeli]

Work in Progress Wednesday - March 31st

A minor update concerning All My Tomorrows (and Yesterday's Sorrows) aka the Cal/Jango fic: still working on this one. It's delayed because I realized I need to break the Galidraan "arc" into two parts (mostly PoV switch issues making things messy) but that meant part one would leave off in a place I wasn't comfortable leaving things, for any amount of time. So when I do update that WIP it will be a double update but that means more work and time to get there when RL is simultaneously demanding more of my time as well. (And I am occasionally poking at other WIPs like the jangobi role reversal AU snippet below). So yeah, double-update! Eventually.

Now for today's snippet:

Stewjoni was a small world in the Outer Rim in the middle of nowhere. It was quite literally about halfway between the two hyperlanes that made inroads into the sector. A resource poor world for all its vast oceans; their most valuable export was wool. A perfect target for pirates and slavers to attempt to conquer and use as a base. 

If not for the fact that every citizen of Stewjon was trained from early childhood in the art of war. They had to do it. No one would come to their rescue, not in a time span that would help them. Stewjoni knew how to defend their homes.

Which was a rather long-winded way of saying when Obi-wan crashed with his parents on Melida/Daan, he was already a skilled strategist and tactician at age fourteen. His parents hadn't survived the crash but the cargo they'd been transporting had. It was luck that the Young found the crash site first and earned Obi-wan's trust. Obi-wan helped them win the war in return.

(Obi-wan barely gave any thought to the Jedi Master that abandoned them to save his companion. Stewjoni knew you couldn't rely on outsiders to help you. Obi-wan made his choice to embrace a new identity as Melidaan when he chose to remain on the war-torn planet and aid the Young.)

It was child's play to defeat the Elders but, it was trying to hold onto their victory that almost cost them Cerasi. Thankfully an event that could have broken the bond the three of them had forged only strengthened it. 

They fell into roles easily enough. Neild was their leader, Cerasi their diplomat, and Obi-wan their general. A necessary evil neither Nield or Cerasi liked until those looking to take advantage of them arrived. That's how things worked for the the next five years until their term limits were reached. Cerasi and Neild easily transitioned to advisory roles but Obi-wan decided to head off planet and explore the galaxy.

Becoming a bounty hunter seemed the logical career choice for him even if it confused others. Like becoming a bounty hunter was somehow lesser than being a general rather than freeing. Thought there was a bit more of a learning curve to bounty hunting than Obi-wan had anticipated. He was close to quitting and switching to mercenary work when Silas decided to mentor him.

[yellowcurtainsupremacy]

quick fic time! okay so this is like another childhood based au.

ship: jebbe (jens x robbe)

robbe and jens were bestfriends. they both knew that. ever since they met in kindergarten, the two would become inseparable. even teachers had a hard time trying to separate these two. it was adorable how they both loved each other so much. so much to the point one of them would risk getting suspended just for defending the other one. it was a quiet morning in 8th grade. robbe walking to school with jens as always. once they got in the school, they went their separate ways (since they didn’t have their first class together). robbe was confronted by a bully in his first class. it was this rude bastard. his name was daan. daan loved picking on robbe so much. calling him slurs and even punching him once in a while. robbe hated it so much. unfortunately, ms. aanders decided to sit robbe next to daan, hence why robbe BEGS to get out of his first class as soon as possible. as the bell to leave the first class rings, robbe runs to get out. unfortunately daan was quicker and grabbed robbe and slammed him to the wall. “hey you f** you think you can get out so easily? you fucking wuss, you’re so weak.” robbe panicked and didn’t know what to do, and just like the days before, he felt a punch to his stomach. it hurt like hell. out of nowhere he hears a familiar voice scream. “LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE YOU DUMB DOUCHEBAG BASTARD”. robbe opened his eyes and saw an aggressive jens. “aww look your boyfriend is here to protect you. what are you going to do? are you going to slap me like a fucking f**?! i bet this bitch loves sucking your dick in private. pathetic dumb slut”. this was enough for jens to go crazy and literally DRAG this pea headed bully to the ground. he kept punching and kicking him as if there was no tomorrow. the dumb bastard started bleeding out and ms aanders saw this and immediately called the principal. jens grabbed robbe’s hand and dragged him away from all of this as robbe was crying. they ended up in the restroom floor, and jens was holding robbe. playing with his hair and kissing his cheek. jens whispering to robbe that itll all be okay. as jens and robbe just stayed in their cocoon of warmth, it unfortunately had to be interrupted by mister claes, the principal. “jens, come with me this instant.” robbe did not want jens to let go. he wanted to stay held by him forever long. unfortunately reality exists and jens gave one last kiss to robbe’s cheek and walked with mister claes. robbe stayed in the restroom for the rest of the period, crying, before finding his way out of school and just skipping the rest of the day. he texted jens but with no response. sigh.

and this is how much jens loves robbe. nearly killing a dumb bully just because :)

oh and please note that the word i censored is the f slur. even though i am a part of the lgbtq+ community, this word makes me severely uncomfortable and therefore i do not like saying it. thank you for understanding.

[danahmbisyosangdoktora]

Di ko alam? Di pa ata enough na nag-vent na ako sa closest friends ko as well as my relatives. I needed to let all the feels out and I needed more catharsis. I thought baka sawa na sila that's why I'm here... writing. Idk what for. Maybe to document my side and to remind myself, it wasn't you.

I knew the moment I signed the deed of sale, my life on the road will always be on the line. 'Di ko lang inexpect na mararanasan ko talaga siya especially I am very mabagal and follows traffic rules diligently sa takot na maaksidente.

Only went out to go to the grocery, ayun nalipasan pa tuloy ako ng gutom cHAROT ¼

Until now, nanginginig pa rin kamay ko? Grabe.

Story time

Bago pa ako makarating sa centro, may jeep na akong nakasalubong na nag-oovertake at inaagaw na lane ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "wow ako pa mag-aadjust" kasi ako na gumilid sa lane ko hahahahaha joked to one of my friends na intro lang pala yung jeep, maaaksidente pala talaga ako today. 😅

Ang bilis ng pangyayari. Alam ko lang I was decelerating kasi 3 nalang until the green light turns to yellow then red when I was approaching the area. It's my rule to stop as early as 5 sa countdown (wow) to avoid nga unexpected... stuff. It just so happened na nagkaabot kami coz he did an illegal U-turn.

I didn't know what to do. I was internally panicking! Gladly, three tricycles away from me andoon yung uncle ko na tricycle driver. If not, I wouldn't know what to do. Baka inako ko din yung accident? Also thankful for the bystanders who kept on telling me na it's not my fault and taught me what to do like taking pictures of the scene in all angles possible. Also to those who defended us sa righteous vehicle owners who keep on asking na alisin na daw coz nakaharang sa daan and said it needs to be documented by the police as it is.

The HPG came and brought us sa station. Shet, my first time. They asked for our licenses as well as the OR/CR. We went to the hospital (I work at yikes) for the medical. I was lowkey embarassed coz I felt like I did something wrong coz I was riding the mobile 😅. Everyone I know who saw me kept on asking what happened and kung may duty daw ba ako. This happened around 11am and I was supposedly on duty by 3pm but I told my boss I couldn't make it kasi di ko alam kung gaano katagal ang process. Thanks to my fats who served as cushion, I didn't get grave injuries. I only??? hurt my left leg na siyang tumama sa side car ng tricycle which is also why I can't go to work coz the doctor told me I shouldn't walk my foot much which is not possible kasi as a medtech, I do wardings so I can't NOT move my feet. Anyways, we went back to the station and proceeded with the blotter.

We agreed na he's only gonna pay for the damages. I waived the medical part coz para sakin, yun nalang tulong ko and I can just have it shouldered either by my employer or myself. Nobody wanted this to happen naman so ayon. I also thought baka I was at fault din kasi di ko siya nakita. Tsaka it's only recently when tricycles started operating so I tried to consider as I really didn't want to burden him more during these trying times. But when we went out of the station, he was talking with someone sa phone and I overheard him saying ako daw nakabangga sakanya which is totally the opposite!!! I was mad! I went easy to him only to be painted as the offender? I was close to letting him go kasi my motorcycle has insurance naman and ayoko na makadagdag pero I got annoyed when I heard it. His tone was very condescending like pinapamukha pa nya sa kausap nya na siya dehado?! He was unapologetic at all! He was "okay po" when we were in the station but when we went out, he kept on insisting I was the wrong one! That's why I went through with what the police and my relatives insist na he pay right there and then.

Di ko lang matanggap his defense na I was speeding. I got (lowkey) insulted just recently when my highschool friend told me ang bagal ko daw magpatakbo because 40 lang... I only drive ng 30 especially in key roads kaya ano pinagsasabi niya. Also I don't beat the red light. 🥴

He also said he didn't know you should U-turn few more meters away from the No U-turn sign. He said doon daw talaga ang U-turn right after a No U-turn sign... I asked him if he knew how to read the lines sa road and he doesn't know. The heck? To think he's a Professional Driver license holder and I'm just... Non-Pro??? Scary.

I felt lowkey bad coz I have two cops na relative who assisted me. Baka he felt like I have the "upperhand". Baka isa pa yun sa rason niya when he cover himself up if magkwento siya sa iba. Pero I'm thankful because I really didn't know what to do. Everyone who can go literally went to assist me. 👉👈 You'll never read this pero thank you, Papa, Uncle Bon and Tiyo Polong. The two HPG who responded. Thank you, Ms. Neil Vila for sending me voice chats about everything I needed to know about the insurance. Jaymar and Ryan for listening to my rants. My workmates and my supposedly partner on tonight's 16hrs duty who asked about my condition and understood. My boss who told me to go to work nalang anytime I felt like going. Lastly, to my mother's friends who helped kahit na wala sila sa scene contacting numerous people pati na rin ang Municipal Administrator who got worried daw. Wow, I feel relevant.

Sorry Perrie, my motorcycle, nabinyagan ka tuloy. First birthday mo pa naman nung 10. I'm sorry!

You'll never know talaga. Super amazed to those whose job is to be on the road for hours on a daily.

It's not enough pala talaga na nag-iingat ka 'coz if barumbado kasama mo sa daan, wala rin.

Friendly reminder to always be alert!

[ambidextrousarcher]

Arjuna- Fortune’s favorite child?

@an-oranophobic-maniac, this post is dedicated to our mutual Karna fan.

Recently, I read Arjuna by Anuja Chandramouli, which was a good book, but one aspect of the book bothered me. Then, I had the misfortune to stumble upon StarBharat’s eulogy of Karna. This is me giving vent to my frustrations that arose from these, apologies if I offend anyone.

Also, if I am wrong about any citation, you are welcome to correct me from equally authentic sources (My source is Ramesh Menon’s rendition of the KMG, and a little bit of the Bori CE)

Let’s come to the part that bothered me, shall we? The author Anuja called Arjuna Fortune’s favorite, while Karna was supposed to have a star-crossed destiny. As for StarBharat, Karna was outright a good character, even protesting against the Varnavrat scheme.

Warning: Long post under the cut.

First things first: Is Arjuna actually Fortune’s favorite, and Karna a victim of destiny? I don’t think so, and here’s why:

Yes, Kunti abandoned Karna is a baby. She gets a lot of flak for that, and even I hated her for the same, but then I read the Mahabharata. 

Kunti was a child (11-13 years of age) when Durvasa blessed her with the infamous boon and when she called Surya using the same. He came to her, and stipulated that he will give her a child. Kunti, scared, begged him not to, for she was an unmarried virgin and she had called him out of nothing but childish curiosity. Surya does not budge. He tells her that if he leaves without doing what he was called for, childish curiosity or not, he will be ridiculed amongst the Gods. Kunti, seeing no way out of it, agrees on the condition that the child gets divine protection. Basically, he rapes her.

That’s right, Kunti is the reason that Karna has his famed Kavacha and Kundala!

Kunti casts Karna on a river, and Adiratha and his wife find him, and give him a loving family. Unlike popular perception, Sutas were not low caste. In fact, they were pretty high caste. Proof: Virata’s Queen is a Suta, Plus, Adiratha was indirectly connected to Anga’s royal family. (Check out Sacredtexts.com)

So, anyway. Karna gets a wealthy family (Adiratha was Dhritarashtra’s friend to boot), and a loving upbringing.

Meanwhile, Kunti has her swayamvar, and marries Pandu. He marries Madri, gets cursed by the Deer Rishis, and leaves for exile. It is in exile that the Pandavas are born. By the time Arjuna is born, Karna is 18 (He’s 16 years older than Yudhisthir). The Pandavas have a childhood in the forest, as opposed to Karna’s earlier years, and then Pandu dies.

Madri does Sati with him, so Kunti is left a single mother with five young children, who she brings to Hastinapur. The Pandava/Kaurava rivalry starts pretty quickly, with Bheema as the bully of the bunch. The Kauravas are quick to retaliate, poisoning Bheema. He does return, but that was the childhood that Arjuna (and his brothers) had. Surrounded by hate rather than love.

Then the princes meet Dronacharya, and it’s time for their gurukul shiksha. Karna is also a student of Drona. It is mentioned clearly in the Mahabharata, along with the fact that he’s Duryodhana’s friend. Arjuna outshines everybody, becoming an Athirathi in the gurukul itself, also becoming the Guru’s favorite through sheer determination. He alone saves Drona from the crocodile, something even Drona’s beloved Ashwathamma is hesitant to do. Karna is envious of him.

Here we come to the infamous Ekalavya incident, one that is used to blacken Arjuna’s character often. Yes, Arjuna was irritated, but it was that of a child who is promised something he did not get. He did not ask for Ekalavya to be mutilated, that was Drona’s own decision. Arjuna’s feeling here is that of the hurt honor student asking his teacher if he is no longer the best.

For example, I myself have felt jealous of other students who were compared to me, but that doesn’t mean I want them dead and gone! So it probably was with Arjuna.

When their shiksha is finished, the royal princes exhibit their skills. Here, Arjuna shines...until Karna enters the fray, and replicates Arjuna’s feats. Duryodhana is very pleased and welcomes Karna as a friend, who goes on to challenge Arjuna to a duel.

I have a question here: If a grown man challenges a child just out of school for a duel, is it a matter of pride and prestige for the man? I find it laughable that Karna is lauded for replicating the feats of a boy less than half his age, and that many people think he is the greatest based simply on this. For this is indeed the situation here. Yudhisthir is 18, which makes Arjuna 16 and Karna 36. 

Arjuna is ready to duel Karna nonetheless, but then Drona and Kripa step in, asking Karna of his lineage. Here, it is Bheema and not Arjuna who insults Karna as a Sutaputra. (The title itself is not the insult, but Bheema’s intent surely is.) 

By the end of it, Karna is the King of Anga. For the rest of his life, he lives in palaces. Karna is also a student of Parashurama, and is cursed by him for lying about his identity. (Don’t give the thing about Parashurama and Brahmin students only. He taught Bhishma, who was Kshatriya). Oh, and did I mention that Drona did not teach him the Brahmastra not because of his suta status but because he was not worthy? Arjuna had to go through a test before he learnt the same.

Now, it is time for Drona’s Guru Dakshina. He asks his students to capture Draupada. The Kauravas and Karna together fail. Arjuna and Bhima alone succeed, with Arjuna defeating Draupada single-handedly. Arjuna is the person to give his Guru Dakshina, no one else.

Sometime later, Yudhishthir is crowned Crown Prince. What do the Dushtha Chautyam do? (In the Mahabharata, in the Vyasa’s own words, Shakuni, Duryodhana, Dushassana and Karna form the Evil Four.) They plan the Varnavrat fiasco. Karna is an avid part of the nefarious plan, and also of the previous tries to kill the Pandavas, especially Arjuna and Bheema.

Arjuna, on the other hand, does not even think of Karna after the almost-duel.

The Pandavas escape Varnavrat, and go into the forest as Brahmins. They live on alms. (Oh, Arjuna too. The guy who is ostensibly Fortune’s favorite was living as a mendicant, while the guy who is ostensibly with a star-crossed destiny was living it up in Hastinapur. You were saying?) Arjuna wins Draupadi’s swayamvar where she does not insult Karna according to the Critical edition. KMG says she did then goes on to contradict itself. So basically, Arjuna proved himself as a better archer than Karna, the permanent blower of trumpets.

The Pandavas return to Hastinapur, and beget Khandavprastha. Cue Khandavdahan. Arjuna (without Gandiva) and Krishna defeat almost all Gods. I think Arjuna defeats Indra in single combat. Not sure. but Arjuna and Krishna together defeat almost all Gods, please Agni and Arjuna gets Gandiva.

(Point to be noted: Arjuna gets Gandiva through hard work. It is not an advantage he was born with).

The Pandavas build Indraprastha. Arjuna conquers the North and returns as Dhananjaya (bringer of wealth). He is already Savyasachi (ambidextrous) in his gurukul days I think.

Somewhere during this time, Arjuna interrupts Draupadi and Yudhisthir to get Gandiva so that he can help a poor Brahmin, and is exiled for 12 years. During these years, he is kidnapped by Ulupi (I count it rape by coercion. He had no choice here.), and abducted Subhadra. (We do not have Subhadra’s own views on this, but it was supported by Krishna, and Arjuna and Subhadra seem to have a good relationship along with Draupadi too.)

Indraprastha prospers.

 Dushtha Chautyam get jealous and get Yudhisthir to play dice, whereupon he loses his Kingdom, his brothers, himself and finally his wife.

This is when Cheerharan occurs. Even though Arjuna and Bheema are slaves and cannot defend Draupadi, Bheema tries to physically (he is stopped by Arjuna who realizes that they cannot afford to break their unity, for then they are lost. Here is the only character flaw of Arjuna I have seen. His excessive obedience to his eldest brother.) Arjuna himself also rises a question on the validity of the stake, for Yudhisthir had already lost himself.

Karna, the beacon of morality, calls Draupadi a whore and initiates the disrobing. Fortunately, she is saved by Krishna.

This is where Arjuna starts hating Karna, as opposed to Karna himself who has hated Arjuna from the beginning, just because he was better.

So, the Pandavas leave for exile. (Side note: Arjuna spent nearly 26 years in exile.) Here, Arjuna does tapasya and manages to please the Gods, especially Shiva. (Becoming Gudakesha, the man who won over sleep on the way.) He ascends to heaven. Not because he is Indra’s son, but because he won the Gods over with his austerities. Even in Heaven, the Gods ask his help in defeating demons. Arjuna defeats the demons even the Gods couldn’t and learns celestial weapons, music and dance. According to the KMG, he is cursed by Urvashi during this time, but Critical Edition has removed it. Before Arjuna’s tapasaya, Karna and Duryodhana organize a Ghoshayatra to humiliate the Pandavas and Duryodhana ends up a prisoner of the Gandharvas. His friend, Karna, runs away to save his own skin, leaving Bheema and Arjuna to come to the rescue.

The Pandavas start Agyatvasa. Arjuna, the best warrior in the world, is disguised as an eunuch. (Yeah, he’s so fortune’s favorite). At the end of Agyatvasa, he defeat the entire Kuru army which includes Drona, Bhishma and Karna single-handedly. Did I mention Karna runs away once more?

Now, the Pandavas and Kauravas start preparing for war. Arjuna and Duryodhana arrive at Dwarka at the same time, Arjuna leaving with Krishna and Duryodhana with Krishna’s army.

Kurukshetra begins. Before the war begins, Indra asks for Karna’s Kavacha Kundala, which Karna, the Danveer, exchanges for the Vasavi Sakthi, so that he can kill Arjuna. (It is also documented that Karna starts doing Daan for one reason. So that he gets enough punya to kill Arjuna.) Indra does so to eliminate Karna’s unfair advantage (it was inborn, not hard-won.)

Arjuna’s son is killed by 6 men at once, while they distracted Arjuna himself with an army of suicidal killers, which he again, defeated single-handedly.

Karna, however, cannot defend his own son when Arjuna kills him in single combat in front of his father. Finally, the Arjuna-Karna showdown begins. Arjuna injures Karna badly. Karna is struggling to stand when his chariot sinks in the mud. He asks Arjuna to desist, citing rules of war. (Really? Where did the rules of war go when a chariotless Arjuna was attacked during the 14th day? When Abhimanyu was killed?) Still, Arjuna does, until Krishna reminds him of the insult to Draupadi at which he fires the Anjalika astra, killing Karna. Who, by the way, was armed. Many, many warriors, including Arjuna, have fought on on foot in the War. Why did Karna not do so? That decision was Karna’s alone, it is not Arjuna’s.

All his life, it was Arjuna who had an elder brother who did not give two hoots about his individuality (thanks, @ambitiousandcunning!), a brother who was envious of him and who called the man who gave Krishna and Shiva the credit for all his victories along with Yudhisthir himself as arrogant when he fell down from grief, not Karna, who had a good friend and a loving family.

At the end, I just want to say that there are ample examples of Karna’s less than exemplary conduct, both as a man and a warrior. There are also examples of Karna being luckier than basically all the Pandavas. Equally, there are examples of why Arjuna was not Fortune’s Favorite, and also of Arjuna as a peerless warrior, one who even Shiva called his equal.