#I am not a sex advice guru I am just some gay nerd

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok this is so cool youre a gay man! so what would you say needs work most in spicy byler fic land, speaking as a writer who aims for realism...

less reliance on the classic 1-finger-2-fingers-scissor-anal penetration trope... that is too cliche and doesnt account for how difficult anal sex can be?

or is it the emotion? does it read as too much being written by female in terms of the emotional attachment or worldview?

and lastly i keep hoping for a t!will fic where he is transitioning from male to female cos i've never seen it and think it could be such a nice thing in regards to sex organs and roleplay!

(This ended up more general fanfic thoughts, not solely unique to this fandom. But certain things definitely apply.) Under the cut cause I'm bored at work and I rambled:

It's all about the details? Sometimes things read a bit formulaic, like you mentioned. Like fics are running down a checklist because a lot of other fics in every single fandom do the same, so everyone just copies each other. It's fanfic sex. Sex isn't very often... like that. It can be, but ehhh. Depends on what's being written. Is this a hookup? Established sex between a couple in love? First time between an inexperienced young gay couple w few resources? Based on the scenario, things can sound off. Like, the classic 'according to the story, they've only made out w each other before and now they're going right into anal?' Oh this isn't it. I just find a lot of the time the better depictions consider foreplay foreplay foreplay, and not follow that kiss 123 finger then fuck formula, falling into that as a crutch instead of writing something more out of "order." (lol even 3 is a little unnecessary wasting time mentioning if you fuck a lot or write good foreplay or this couple is very comfortable w each other. Consider: the body knows what it wants or doesn't want yet. Relaxation/arousal. It just reads sometimes like, well that's the next step, right? Repetitive.) OR maybe the character is nervous/not relaxed and the preparation process is difficult, that's soooo interesting to write scenes working through that, but I find that kinda rarely depicted because maybe writers don't think it's sexy? It can be, pleeeaase. That's accurate and realistic, too. Do these characters like each other, are they into each other? Actually turn them on! Switch it up, what is happening to the body.

You know know that scene in Friends where Monica is listing off numbers as locations on the body and to vary the order attention is given to each?? That's great, love that no matter the gender haha. And what exactly are the fingers doing in there, sometimes I read stuff and it's like, the ass or the hand does not work like that - just massage and thrust and and find the prostate hahaha. And don't skip the lube or era appropriate substance esp for inexperienced characters! Since a lot of this specific pairing focuses on the early relationship stages. "Just use spit" honey NO he's seventeen and nervous and he's gonna hate that. They're not isolated in the woods or fucking a stranger in a club bathroom (maybe they are, but most of the time they're just in a bed or a couch haha) And that's just a different situation. The scenario honestly just has to make sense and the details all kinda make the story what it is. It's mismatched vibes that throw something off more than any sex act in particular. (these virgins immediately falling into strict dom/sub roles, calling each other degrading names or ill-depicted bdsm right from the beginning of their relationship - has the writer only watched a certain type of porn for reference? Do they think all gay sex is inherently kinky in that specific way?)

I also find that a lot of people in general are uncomfortable writing/depicting rimming so its omitted entirely where in the progression of the scene it would make sense (and I've seen writers across fandoms talking about specifically not wanting to write it) and I guess I get it to an extent, but you're reading/writing gay characters, it's important! Bypass the taboo. It ain't. 😝 Sometimes more helpful than just fingers, to be honest. Strictly focusing on penetration isn't the be all end all goal or only way to write men fucking. (Or women and men or any combo to be quite honest)

I also also find just things that seem kinda silly to me especially when writing young guys - this mostly happens when I'm reading a sfw fic that juuuuust almost goes there but stops before dicks get involved. And I find it really funny because clearly the author doesn't want them to be but based on what I just read - they already are involved, you're just uncomfortable mentioning it for some reason even though you've chosen to ship gay men. It's totally ok to not want to write smut but there's definitely a 'read between the lines' vibe I get sometimes where I can tell the author NEEDS you to know 'hey! Reminder I'm one of the good ones NOT thinking about these characters actually having sex!!' Hmmm. "We should stop before we get carried away" and it's like ok cool but they're already totally hard based on what was previously written. You could have just not mentioned anything but the way things are written sometimes it feels like a fic is inserting a flashing sign at a certain point saying 'STOP! DO NOT THINK ABOUT SEX IN THIS FIC!'

They're teenagers (and I know everyone is different blah blah), and I guess I see a lot of times an unrealistic time frame over the progression of a physical relationship. I think sometimes people want to avoid having characters 'rush into it' and make them wait and maybe the story is playing with themes of repression/unlearning shame, which in this fandom definitely can be an engaging theme, but I read stuff and just feel... these boys wouldn't be waiting as long as implied to actually get physically intimate. There's no way. Hormones and how much they're into each other, its happening. Embrace that. Teenage or young adult guys. Be honest.

Idk there's a million ways to depict sex and I'd honestly worry less about the mechanics of what everyone else does and just... let the story and ideas take you there. Even as someone with a lot of uhhhhh practical experience haha I'll read back my own writing like, ok who fucks like this though? LOL. And it's fine. Fanfic does lend itself to having a fantasy lens, its not always hyper realistic, and i don't think it really needs to be one hundred percent meticulous. Translating actions and feelings and sensations into prose can be soooo awkward to word and strange to describe. If you had fun being creative the writing shows instead of 'well I guess I'm writing a sex scene and I'm embarrassed about it so I'll just copy what everyone does' nahhh. Have fun, get things wrong, get weird with it. The oddest little detail changes and adds a lot. 😘