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justkindaoverhereobsessing · 5 years ago

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In Exchange (Tivali)

Tali’s parents are terrified when she suddenly comes down with a case of appendicitis.

Read here or on AO3 or ff

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"What it's like to be a parent: it's one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but in exchange, it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love."

-Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding

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"Ima, Daddy, I don't feel so good," Tali mumbles one night after dinner.

"What hurts?" Tony asks.

"My tummy."

Ziva purses her lips, not unsympathetic. "I did tell you to eat more slowly, did I not, ahava shelli? You probably have gas. I know it is uncomfortable, but it will pass."

"But what do I do to make it stop hurting now?" Tali whines.

"Oh, that's an easy one," Tony answers. "You just have to ride a bike."

Tali frowns. "Ride a bike? But it's night time, Daddy."

Tony laughs, standing and offering his hand. Tali takes it, distracted momentarily from her discomfort. "Not a real bike, baby girl. C'mere, I'll show you."

He leads her to the living room and has her lay on her back on the sofa. "Alright, now give me your feet." Tali laughs a little at the strange request but sticks her legs up in the air all the same. "Perfect. Okay, so I'm going to hold onto your feet and push on them and you bend your knees—we'll work together to make it seem like you're pedaling really fast. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Smart girl. Ready… go!" He starts singing a silly song under his breath as they move. "Ride a bike, ride a bike, ride a bike, bike, bike!" Tali is clearly tickled, and she giggles for a minute after they stop. "Did it work?" Tony asks, grinning at her mirth.

"How do I know if it did?"

"It worked if it made you toot."

"Toot? Ew, Daddy! That's gross!"

"Maybe it is, Tali-Tee," Tony says, teasingly poking her sides to make her squirm, "but it'll make your tummy feel better. So did it work?"

"No."

"Alright, we'll just try again."

When it still doesn't work a second time, Tony exchanges mildly concerned glances with Ziva. Tali probably just has a bit of a stomach bug or maybe some constipation, but it's something they'll need to keep an eye on, just in case.

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Ziva goes to check on Tali a few hours after bedtime, and at first, all seems well. Tali is sleeping soundly, showing no signs of distress.

Moved by tenderness, Ziva leans down to kiss the sleeping girl's face, but she jerks back a little almost immediately. Tali's skin feels too warm, probably feverish. Combined with the upset stomach she had earlier, it's slightly worrying.

Trying not to jump to conclusions, Ziva fetches a thermometer and runs it lightly across Tali's forehead. When it beeps, she turns it over so she can see the screen—it reads 38. It is a fever, but it's not a high one, thank goodness.

Ziva is kneeling next to the bed, trying to decide what to do, when she hears her name being whispered. "Ziva?" She looks up to see Tony in the doorway. "Is she alright?"

Ziva holds up the thermometer so he can see. "She has a fever. I am not sure what to do. If it was higher, I would wake her to give her medicine, but… since it is still low, should we wake her, or let her sleep?"

Tony considers that for a moment. "I think we should probably give her some paracetamol. The fever may be low now, but getting ahead of it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world."

Ziva nods and starts to stand, but Tony shakes his head. "You go ahead and wake her up. I'll go get the medicine."

He disappears from the doorway, and Ziva starts gently petting Tali awake. "Hamuda, it is time to open your eyes," she murmurs. "Come now, wake up, little one."

Slowly, Tali emerges from sleep, opening her eyes and then fluttering them closed again into a squinty frown to ward against the dim light spilling in from the hallway. "'s morning already? I wanna go back to sleep."

Ziva can't help smiling at the complaint. Tali really is just like her father. "No, it is not morning, and you can go back to sleep. Abba and I just need you to take a little medicine first." She hears footsteps and then Tony's hand appears in her field of vision, offering a little measuring cup full of thick red liquid. "It is the kind you like best—cherry!"

With her eyes still clenched shut, Tali opens her mouth. Ziva pours the medicine in. "How does your tummy feel tonight, my love?"

"Hurts." She already sounds like she's halfway back to sleep, though, which is reassuring. It must not hurt too badly.

Tony pats Tali's foot over the blanket. "I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning, baby. You can go back to sleep now."

"'Kay." Within a few moments, she's breathing deeply and evenly again, fast asleep.

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The rest of the night passes without incident. Tali wakes up in a bad mood, though, and only picks at her breakfast. "I don't want this," she finally says, grumpily pushing her bowl away with enough force that milk slops over the side and onto the table.

Tony frowns at her. "You don't have to eat it if you're not hungry, but don't make a mess just because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, Tals," he scolds lightly.

"I didn't mean to!" Tali snaps, and she promptly bursts into furious tears.

Stricken, Tony gives Ziva a wide-eyed look. Help?

Ziva stoops in front of Tali, reaching up to wipe tears off of her face. "What is the matter, Tali? We have nothing to cry about, yes?"

"I—" Tali's sobbing so hard that she has to catch her breath before she can speak. "I don't—I don't feel gooood!" she wails.

"It is okay, sweet one, it is all going to be okay," Ziva coos, drawing Tali into her arms and rubbing her back. "Shh. Take deep breaths, my love." Over the top of Tali's head, Ziva gives Tony a mild reproachful look, and the look he gives her back clearly says 'I didn't mean to upset her!'

When Tali calms, Ziva pulls out of the clingy hug and pushes Tali's tear-wet hair out of her face. "That is better," she says, keeping her voice low and soothing. "Now, can you use your words? Can you tell me exactly what does not feel good?"

"My tummy, Ima. It still hurts!"

"Worse than yesterday?"

"Ken."

"Show me where, please?"

Tali points to her belly button, her lip trembling as tears threaten again. Suddenly, though, she goes a little green and turns around to run to the bathroom.

Her parents follow, wincing as she throws up in the toilet. Tony loosely holds her hair back so it doesn't get caught up in the stream of sick. When she seems done, Ziva grabs a cup from under the sink and fills it with water so Tali can rinse and spit. "Should we take her to the pediatrician?" Tony asks under his breath.

"Maybe," Ziva agrees in an undertone.

Tali, however, overhears. "No!" she cries. "No doctors!"

Tony and Ziva exchange looks again. "A doctor might be able to help you feel better, though, love," Tony reminds their daughter.

"No!" Tali repeats fiercely. She's deathly afraid of needles, which has given her a general case of white coat syndrome. Her parents know that she's likely to upset herself significantly if they try to drag her to a medical office. They exchange one more look, and then…

"You do not have to see a doctor right now, but if you start to feel worse, Tali, you must tell us, yes?" Ziva compromises, gentle but firm.

"Fine," Tali mutters. "I wanna go lay down."

"Go for it, darlin'," Tony tells her. "That's a good idea. I'm going to put a trash can next to your bed in case you have to be sick again."

A few minutes later, Tali's back in bed and Tony and Ziva are in the kitchen talking, worried. "Maybe it's just a stomach bug, but… I don't know. I don't have a good feeling, Ziva," Tony says quietly.

"I do not feel good about it, either," Ziva agrees. "We may need to go to a hospital rather than the pediatrician if she gets worse. But—she will be…" she trails off, apprehensive.

"She'll be fine."

Tony's not sure who he's trying to convince—Ziva or himself.

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An hour later, no one is convinced. When Tali wakes up in hysterical tears, she stumbles out of her room clutching her abdomen, seriously alarming both of her parents. "It hurts!" she sobs. "My tummy hurts!"

Tony reaches out to feel her forehead and grimaces. "Ziva, she's burning up. I think it's time."

Ziva nods seriously.

"Time for what?" Tali demands, her tears taking on a fearful edge.

"It is time to visit the hospital, little one," Ziva says softly.

"Noooo!" she wails, backing away. "No hospitals! I don't want to go to the hospital!"

Tony kneels in front of her, mindful not to spook her further. "Hey, Ima and I will be right there with you, baby. We'll be there the whole time. I know it's scary, but if your tummy is sick, we need to see a doctor about it. It's the only way you're gonna feel better, sweetheart."

Tali stamps her foot, trying to look fiercer than she feels. "No. I won't go!"

"Yes, Tali, you will. I am sorry that you are afraid, ahava shelli, but this is important. You are very grown up, and very brave. I have faith in your ability to do what you must. If you cannot, however, we will have to carry you." With Ziva and Tali wearing matching frowns, they look so incredibly similar.

Tali glares between her parents and then makes a break for it, aiming to hide in her room. Tony deftly catches her, however, and murmurs "I'm so sorry" to her as she struggles against him. He turns to Ziva, rising to his feet with his daughter in his arms. "Let's go. Now," he says grimly.

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By the time they reach Hôpital Necker, the nearest children's hospital, Tony and Ziva are both white-faced and anxious, and Tali is inconsolable. The five-year-old has spent the ride fighting desperately to escape, fearing the hospital far more than whatever's upsetting her stomach.

They bring her inside; Ziva goes to talk to the triage nurse while Tony maintains a tight told on Tali, keeping up a constant stream of murmured reassurances to the terrified child. She has mostly stopped trying to run, but he doesn't set her down—he can't let her know, but he's just as afraid as she is. There's little he can do to protect her, but he can hold onto her and keep her safe for now, at least.

It isn't long before they're in a room and things start moving… Tali gets changed into a hospital gown, her tiny hand gets a new IV, and a doctor comes in to examine her. He can't determine much without some tests, so they draw blood, have Tali pee in a cup, and order a CT.

Tali, for her part, has calmed to mere wide-eyed trembling, and she even sits still for the needle sliding into her vein for the IV—so long as Ima keeps holding her hand tightly, that is. She loses it again, though, when she's informed that Ima and Daddy can't go to the CT room with her. Then she struggles so much that the doctor decides she needs to be sedated.

Ziva thinks there's little that's more painful than watching all the fight leave her tiny daughter.

As the medicine takes effect, Tali's eyes start to droop and her death grip on Ziva's hand becomes slackened. Then someone arrives to roll her away, they kiss her gently and tell her they'll see her in a minute, and she's gone.

Ziva sinks into a chair in the corner, suddenly absolutely exhausted.

She feels a hand on her cheek and glances up to find Tony looking at her with concern. "Are you alright, sweet cheeks?"

She can't lie, not to him, not now, so she shakes her head.

"Hey. She'll be back in a few minutes. This is just a test, remember?"

"I know. But… they put medicine in her IV and her hand just went so… limp. I did not like that feeling. It scared me."

Tony sighs, taking her hand to pull her to her feet and then tugging her into a hug. He rests his chin on the top of her head. "I didn't like it, either," he agrees. "You held it together for her until she was gone, though, and I know it helped. She thinks you're fearless."

Ziva lets out a breath of a laugh, pressing her face against Tony's shoulder and drawing comfort where it's offered. "She could not be more wrong."

"Ah, she doesn't need to know that," Tony replies comfortably. "Let her believe you're a superhero for a few more years. I haven't quite grown out of that one myself."

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Tali is returned to them a few minutes later, and then begins a game of hurry-up-and-wait.

The little one dozes on and off on her bed while her mother whispers Hebrew bedtime stories that Tali's too out of it to grasp; talking helps Ziva, though, and she keeps going. Tony sits quietly on the other side of the bed, updating friends and family through text messages. The irony of this role-reversal isn't lost on either Tony or Ziva; the current crisis has drawn him into silence and her into chatter.

After forty-five minutes, the doctor comes back in. "We got the results of Tali's CT scan back," he tells them, and Tali's parents both sit up, alertly focused. "It looks like she has appendicitis. Now," he continues, seeing the alarmed looks Tony and Ziva are sending each other, "I know that sounds scary, and it's true that it does require surgery. It's very routine, though, and it's common. Our surgeons know what they're doing. Your daughter will be fine."

Tali is still too heavily medicated to pay much attention to the conversation, which is good.

"How long will it take?" Tony asks.

"It should be about an hour, maybe two. The surgeon will be able to answer your questions in more detail, though."

Tony and Ziva both have more things they want to ask, but after a rapid silent conversation between them, Ziva nods. "Thank you, doctor. We will wait to talk to the surgeon."

The doctor leaves, and Tony turns back to Tali, who's staring off into space. "Hey, Tali-Tee?"

"Yeah, Daddy?" she asks, smacking her lips sleepily.

"Did you hear what the doctor said?"

"Yeah," she confirms, but she doesn't elaborate.

"Did you understand what the doctor said?"

"Oh, um, no."

That draws a little smile to the worried father's face, and he runs his hands through Tali's hair, tender and concerned and, as always, absolutely full of affection for his tiniest girl. "They found out what's wrong with your tummy. You've got a little piece of you in there that's really mad right now, so another doctor is going to take that piece out so it doesn't hurt you. Does that make sense?"

"Why's it mad?" Tali asks, confused.

"It heard all of Abba's silly jokes and got angry because they were not funny," Ziva chips in. The attempt at levity is weak, but it brings a woozy smile to Tali's face.

"You wound me!" Tony complains, a hand clutching his chest, and Tali giggles.

"How do they take that piece out?" she asks once her laughter dies away.

"First, they give you a special medicine that makes you take a nap, yes?" Ziva explains, lightly tapping the IV with one finger. "While you are sleeping, they make a little tiny cut or two on your tummy and pull that angry piece right out. Then they put on some bandages and wake you up again!"

"I don't want any more needles," Tali complains, but the remnants of the sedative keep her from panicking about it.

"No, baby, no more needles. That's what the IV is for, so they don't have to stick you again."

"You promise?"

"We promise."

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The staff lets Ziva and Tony walk with the gurney as they take Tali to the operating room, and they're grateful. Tali has been given more medications and isn't too bothered by the whole thing for now, but her parents are another story.

At the door to the surgical wing, they have to say goodbye.

"You can't come?" Tali asks, frowning and looking back and forth between her parents until she gets dizzy. "Are you sure?"

Tony jerks his head at one of the scrub-adorned nurses that's about to take the gurney away and shakes his head. "Aurélia here runs a tight ship, Tali-Tee. I think she'd fight us if we tried, and look at those muscles! She'd win!"

"Nobody wins against Ima," Tali contradicts, and Ziva grins.

"And do not forget it." She leans down and kisses Tali's head before switching to Hebrew. The rest is meant for Tali's ears only. "I love you more than anything in the world, my sweet girl," she whispers. "I will be waiting for you when you wake up. You will be fine. I cannot wait to see you again—we have been through bigger things before, yes? We always make it through, you and I. I love you," she repeats, then steps back so Tony can say goodbye, too.

Tony picks up one of Tali's curls between two fingers and drops it again, smiling at her fondly. "I don't speak any super fun languages to tell you secrets in, but don't let that fool you into thinking your mother loves you more," he jokes. "Just you wait, kid—before you know it, we'll be back to running around the apartment at full speed, knocking things off the walls and driving her nuts. Can't wait, baby. I love you lots. See you soon."

"I love you, too, Daddy, Ima," Tali replies, and then she's waving as the nurses roll her away.

Then it's just Tony and Ziva, and Ziva's smile slides right off her face. "We need to go to the waiting room so we will be ready when they come to update us," she says stonily, and turns to walk away without waiting for an answer.

Tony, who had been somewhat afraid of this sort of thing happening, follows her without comment. It's clear that she's been holding back in deference to Tali's own fear, and the fallout isn't going to be pretty once she acknowledges her emotions.

When they get to the waiting room, Tony picks a chair and sits, but Ziva doesn't join him. Instead, she starts to pace, up and down the short aisle of chairs—back and forth, back and forth, something twitchy in her movements. She's acting like a caged animal.

Suddenly, she stops, grabbing onto the back of a chair tightly with both hands and staring off into the distance. Her breathing grows shallow and uneven. "Ziva," Tony says quietly.

She doesn't respond.

This isn't the first anxiety attack she's had since reuniting with her family, but this is the first one she's had in public in the last few months. Tony really isn't sure how to react; he doesn't want to startle her, but he also doesn't want to let her panic indefinitely. Slowly, cautiously, he gets to his feet and stands in front of her. "Ziva, look at me. Please."

She does, but she clearly isn't seeing him. Dark, wide, and fearful, her eyes stare at something that's not there.

"Ziva." Tony gently takes one of her hands, and she jumps. Her eyes focus in on him, though, and she seems to remember where she is. Unfortunately, that does the opposite of calming her. All of the sudden, she's hyperventilating and trembling, her eyes clear but wild. "Hey. Ziva. Ziva, listen to me. Just listen, okay?"

She nods desperately, searching for something to hold onto.

"Tali is going to be fine. She's our daughter, remember? She's made of strong stuff. This is a really straightforward surgery, that's what the surgeon said—it's the single most commonly performed emergency surgery for kids."

"But— but I cannot—" As she tries to get the words out, tears start to escape her eyes, trailing down her face and dripping onto her shirt.

"Hey, take a deep breath and try again. Come on, love."

Ziva makes a conscious effort to follow his instructions. "I cannot lose her," she says, swallowing hard. "I have only had her back for—not even two months now, Tony. I cannot—I have lost too much. I would not survive losing Tali."

"You won't." This is firm, almost angry, daring the universe to argue. "We won't. Can you believe that for an hour? Just one hour. Then our girl will be out of surgery and waking up and this will all seem like a bad dream."

"One hour?" Ziva repeats.

"One hour," Tony confirms.

"I will… try."

"That's my girl." Not caring at all that they're in a waiting room full of strangers, Tony lightly drops his forehead to rest against Ziva's. "I'm proud of you," he whispers. "You and Tali both, you're tough as nails."

In response, she kisses him chastely, and then tucks her face against his neck. It's a comforting place to hide, warm and surrounded by someone who would follow her to the ends of the earth, someone who always, always has her back.

They stay there until someone comes to get them.

___________________

Tali is fast asleep when they're finally allowed back to see her, but it doesn't matter. She's breathing and her face is—for now—clear of any pain. She'll be back to normal in a few weeks.

Ziva cries again when they see her. This time, there's no panic attached, but… she's softer now than she used to be. She tries to let herself feel all of the reactions she tried to hide before, because her family deserves her emotional honesty. Something tells her that Tony gets it, because he gives her a warm, sympathetic smile and wraps his arm around her. He holds her until she's done crying.

This feels like the first real parenting test they've faced together, and it's an enormous relief to be on the other side of it.

Tali starts to snore, and they know that everything will be alright.

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