#I am kinda nervous tho since I dont really know what to do or talk about | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hanazuma-inactive · 3 years ago

Note

Hi, I love your writings ❤. I really enjoy reading them.

Um, can I request Oikawa Tooru with virgin!reader who is (sub, bottom); (praise kink, but doesn't know he has and kinda shy when he knows it); (has shy, soft, and really submissive personality) (3rd year student) ? Reader with Oikawa is a couple of lover, and a roommate. They usually do some cuddles in their bedroom that always started with Oikawa teasing the reader. One day, when cuddling, Oikawa asked reader if he wants to do something more intimate than cuddling and really feels good.

Sorry if that is too much. Thank you

king and his prince, (nsfw) oikawa x bottom!reader

pronouns: he/him (FEMALE ORIENTED DNI!!)

warnings: creampie, praise kink! flirty oikawa

a/n: oikawa is probs my least favorite character in haikyuu, im pretty sure i hated him at one point cuz of his personality. i later found out from many website i am unfortunately a oikawa kinnie (even tho i dont really think so but idk) explains all the self hatred lmao, again for the anon that requested it im sorry for the bad quality cuz i stayed up to write this at 6 am so undoubtedly there will be some mistakes

_____

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

oikawa tooru was too popular for your comfort at school. everyone liked him and they all had a good reason to, and that doesn't make you any different. you were shy and didn't catch a lot of attention so you were incredibly surprised that someone as popular as oikawa even wanted to talk to you.

you were smart and in fact smart enough to compete with oikawa. in fact the first time you caught his attention was when you corrected an answer, making him embarrassed in front of the class. he wanted to "settle this" only to find you harmless. later on he talked to you more and more. the contrast of personality of you two complimented each other pretty well. a cocky bastard who doesn't know how to shut up and a shy boy who likes to listen. inevitably the two of you grew closer as friends, so much to a point where you moved into the same apartment unit.

you didn't mind getting closer to oikawa, emotionally or physically with him being your crush and all so this was pretty much what you wanted, you just didn't think he would be the one to offer instead. being enclosed in a space together made oikawa get a lot more comfortable with you. random hugs here and there, maybe a little head pat, and sometimes leaning on each other's shoulders. it was practically a dream come true and you didn't think this could possibly get better until the man pulled something else out his sleeves.

one day you fell asleep watching the tv in the living room. the weather was a little chilly so falling asleep without a blanket near you wasn't the best idea. oikawa came home to find you shivering in your sleep so of course like the genius he is, he didn't decide to throw a blanket or carry you back into your bedroom and instead cuddled with you on the couch, leaving you wrapped around his arms basically unable to move when you woke up.

both of you would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. therefore, this whole cuddling session became a regular thing between you two. oikawa being the big spoon and you being the small one. it went on for a while until both of you realized this might not have been the most normal thing that "friends" did. at this point you're pretty sure oikawa had feelings for you, or else he wouldn't have done a lot of the things he has. after a lot of urging from his friends, he finally decided to confess to you. despite him being the playboy he is, he was quite nervous this time, due to the fact that he had to say it to someone he actually has feelings for. so just like that, the relationship between you two finally became official.

another day you guys during your normal cuddling session, oikawa proposed an interesting idea, and to be honest you saw this coming.

"babeeeee, why don't we try something more interesting this time~?" oikawa said, staring at you with his arms around you.

you knew exactly what oikawa meant, you weren't stupid, but you know that he likes it when you act all innocent so you decided to do just that.

"hm? what do you mean tooru-kun? i don't think i understand?"

"oh…baby boy i know you know what i mean alright~" just as he said that the brown haired man grabbed you in for a kiss.

your tongues started to intertwine immediately. this was very much oikawa's style, aggressive and dominant, but soft and caring when he wanted to. the kiss was generally messy but you could tell that oikawa was putting effort into this with all his tiny and intricate movements. a string of saliva connected you after he broke the kiss. leaving you panting and gasping for air while he's on the other side with a sly grin.

"you ready for the next part now?"

"t-there's more ah-!" you gasped as your boyfriend pulled down your pants at once, leaving your hard cock to bounce out.

"of course there is~ we have to tend to this guy don't we?" he said, holding your dick and positioning himself to suck your dick.

yet again attacked by oikawa's mouth you just couldn't keep it for long anymore. it's like his mouth is heaven made or something and it will continue to turn you on and make you cum without fail.

"a-ah! tooru..i'm gonna cum! mmghm!" you said, shooting all your load straight into your boyfriend's mouth, which of course he gladly swallowed right after.

"t-that's it right? i don't think i'll be able to handle more, you know…" you said out of both fear and excitement.

however all you got in response was a smirk from oikawa as he slid off his shirt to reveal his perfectly toned abs.

"almost done, pretty boy."

something about that word, made your half flaccid cock immediately rise up and become as hard as your boyfriends again.

"heh? what a strange reaction, could this mean…" oikawa leaned in closer, enough so that all the hair near your ears would stand up and said,

"my prince likes to be praised?"

you've heard about this so-called praise kink before but didn't exactly think you'd be into it this much. your face turned redder than they already are and you just wanted to cover your face and run away.

"aw, c'mon, it's cute! and if you like it-' oikawa said, spreading your legs open, exposing your asshole and angling his cock head to the entrance of it.

"i might just praise you a little more than usual, hm?"

your boyfriend was hot but this was undoubtedly the most attractive he's ever been. towered over you whispering praises in your ear as he prepared you with his fingers for something bigger that's about to come next. without a warning oikawa began to inch his way into your ass, moving and adjusting his cock to fit your tight asshole.

"you're taking me so well baby...keep doing just that alright? i know you're so good for me aren't you?" oikawa said, leaning closer at you.

at a loss for words due to how flustered you are, you could only give your boyfriend a little nod and covered your face with your arms while flashing a little red on your cheeks once again.

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

the praises that he showered you with were too much. you were already so sensitive since it was your first time and all. now with all these lustful words turning you on, you couldn't hold it in anymore and came onto your stomach while your boyfriend continued to make slow but deep thrusts onto your prostate.

your head was still a little fuzzy but you could still feel your boyfriend jerking his hips faster and faster, ending with a long thrusts at the end which wasn't hard to assume that your boyfriend came inside you, just like how you wanted it. before passing out from bliss, a hand cupped your cheek followed with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"you did so well baby…i know you're tired so rest now, i'll be here alright."

you couldn't be more happy, with such a loving and caring boyfriend. that being said, you fell into his arms once again and slipped into your dreams even thought they have already become reality.

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mrvelfan · 4 years ago

Text

Sunburn

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: basically fluff, some kissing

authors note: this is my first fic ever, so please be nice and enjoy:) (gif is not mine!!! all credits to the owner)

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY STORIES ON ANY OTHER PLATFORM. Reposts are appreciated.

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It was such a great day at the beach. Hot mid summer day, spent in a bathing suit, finally relaxed from all the Avengers pressure. You had gotten ready kinda early in the morning, not wanting to waste any minute of your day off. You bumped into Natasha returning to her room after her workout and after chatting for a bit, letting her know of your plans, she decided to join you. It was an opportunity to spend time together, so you both decided to invite whoever else wanted to come along. It resulted in Steve, Sam and Bucky joining you, which actually led to a day full of fun.

You were now on your way back to the compound with Steve and Nat in the front of the car and you, squeezed between Bucky and Sam in the back seat. Everyone was tired after a whole day of swimming, sunbathing and playing games so there was a comfortable silence and you were about to fall asleep. Suddenly you felt Bucky moving and grunting on your left side.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to move?” you said moving to your right thinking that Bucky didn’t fit. After all he was a pretty big guy.

“No no, I’m fine, I’m okay” he said with a half smile, shifting in his seat. You looked at his posture remembering that from the moment you got into the car, he sat very still, without his back touching the back seat. You could tell there was something off, but he looked rather uncomfortable and you didn’t want to ask him infront of the others.

Bucky was shy and quiet around the others, even though he was living at the compound for quite some time now. His room was next to yours, so when he had nightmares his first days here, you were always there to ground and comfort him. Since then you became really close, and you were one of the very few people he let touch him. It was honestly a surprise to everyone the first time they ever saw you sitting really close and he didn’t move away. You didn’t mind that he was always near you or touching you, because you realized that it made him feel safe. You liked the physical contact and the time you spent together, and little by little, your crush to Bucky developed.

You just nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. His flesh arm was pressed on your side, his hand on his thigh, so you felt his muscles tensing with every slight movement. It hurt you to see that he was in some kind of discomfort or even pain from the grunts that left his lips every now and then, but you let it go, deciding to ask him once you were alone.

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After about 30 minutes you arrived and once the car stopped everyone sighed because you would finally go to sleep. You gathered your stuff and started walking to your rooms talking about your day.

"I had a great time. We should do this more often." Nat said to all of you, stopping outside her room.

"Me too, it was a great idea Y/N. Didn't know you actually had these." Sam teased you before entering his room too, laughing and leaving you speechless.

"Did he really-?" You turned your head in shock finding Steve and Bucky trying to hold in their laughs.

"Yeap he did... and i can already see the wheels in your head turning, coming up with a way to get him back tomorrow at training." Steve added and started walking again.

"Don't you worry about that." You said with an evil smile hearing them chuckle again.

Yours and Bucky's room was right next to each other so after saying 'goodnight' to Steve you were walking in silence.

"Are you really okay? You looked strange on the ride back home." You finally asked him, stopping on your tracks outside of your rooms. He didn't answer and he looked like he was deciding whether he should tell you the truth or not. But your concerned face made him feel bad for lying on the first place.

"I um... I got a... I got sunburnt on my back..." he said looking at you to see your reaction. The frown on your brows became even more visible as you walked closer to him. His eyes never left yours as you reached out with slow movements and lifted his shirt a little, revealing his skin. It was red and looked sore, making you realize that this was why he wouldn't sit back in the car.

"Oh my god Bucky! This looks really bad." You looked into his beautiful blue eyes, trying to think of a way to help ease the pain.

“Don’t worry doll, it will be healed by tomorrow.” he shrugged and turned his body to open the door of his room.

"Listen, I have a gel that will cool down your skin and reduce the redness." You said and opened the door of your room, leaving some space for him to enter.

“You really don’t have too” he said looking back at you.

“Yes, but i want too. At least let me help you feel more relaxed, even for a few hours.” He hesitated for a moment, but the awful feeling of his shirt touching him was irritating and he couldn't wait to get it off.

He walked in your room and stood at the end of your bed, leaving his bag on the floor near a wall. You quickly shut the door, throwing your stuff on the bed and going into the bathroom attached to your room. Once you found the aloe gel, you walked back out seeing Bucky still standing looking around.

"You can sit on the bed if you want." You offered and waited for his next move. He sat on your bed softly, very close to the edge like he didn't want to intrude into your personal space, even tho you had let him in the first place.

"Can you please take your shirt off?" You asked with a soft voice,not wanting to startle him, knowing how self conscious he was about his metal arm and scars.

He slowly nodded, without looking at you, winching when he moved his arms to remove it, because of the pain. Once it was off, he put his hands on his lap playing with his shirt, too afraid to look up to you and see your reaction to his scarred shoulder.

He was nervous. You could tell by his body language. You moved closer, sitting behind him so you faced his back. It was very red, especially on his shoulders and shoulder blades. You opened the cap of the tube and squirted some gel on your palm and fingers, before closing it and tossing it next to you.

“I’m going to touch you now okay?” you figured that it would be better for him if you told him exactly what you were going to do.

“Okay” he wispered, on the verge of tears, afraid that when you touched him you would feel disgusted by him.

You lifted your hands after barely hearing his response, and warned him that it would be cold. He nodded and you slowly pressed your palms on his back. You heard him hiss and shiver, but you didn’t move. He would feel much better after this.You spread the aloe all over his back massaging his skin, focusing on his shoulders were it was more sore.

How could this have happened? He didn’t even take his shirt off nor he is burnt on his face.

You asked yourself after rembering that he wasn’t shirtless at the beach. You were totally fine with it, just like everyone else. Not one of you would pressure him into doing something he didn’t feel comfortable doing.

“Hey Bucky...do you mind me asking how you got burned, since your face is fine and... you didn’t take your shirt off?” you asked him and grabbed the gel bottle again to add more to your hands. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat and hold back his tears so you wouldn’t suspect anything.

“No um...I actually took it off to get into the sea, but you were all sleeping... so that’s probably why you...didn’t see me” he said and shifted akwardly on your bed. The truth was that he actually waited until everyone was asleep, so he could take off his shirt for literally ten minutes, to get into the water.

“And i put sunscreen on my face so...yeah” he added and waited for your response.

“Why didn’t you wake me to help you?” You said concerned and slightly suspicious because you had an idea of why he didn’t.

“Like i said, you were sleeping and i didn’t want to bother you” he sat up after you told him you were done and looked back at you.

“Listen, i dont want to pressure you, but you know you can tell me everything right?” you crossed you legs looking at him and waited for his responce.He knew that you knew. After all you knew him really well to notice when hes lying.

He closed his eyes sighing and sat next to you on the bed. “The truth is...that...” he trailed off and you put your hand on his ,that was resting on his thigh, and squeezed it, as a sign to continue.

“...I just didn’t want anyone, and especially you to see me shirtless... to see my scars and remember that i am a monster.” He said and wiped a few tears that escaped his eyes.

You weren’t entirely shocked to hear that. Only because deep down you knew that this was his biggest insecurity and he wouldn’t open up to anyone about it easily, even if he refused it.

“Oh Bucky...” you hugged him tightly, your hands caressing the back of his head. He wrapped his armaround your waist, hugging you back even more tightly, burying his face into the crook of your neck and you felt some tears wetting your shirt. After a few moments you pulled back, wiping his tears stained cheeks, with you thumbs.

“I could never see you as a monster Buck. You are far from that. What you did all those years was not you...you are the kindest, most giving man I know who always puts himself first to protect others. I’m not disgusted by your scars Bucky and i will never be. They don’t make you a monster and they don’t define you. They prove that you are a survivor. And i know that you will see that one day too. But until then, i will always be by your side to remind you.”

He stayed silent for a few seconds, looking straight into your eyes, until he finally did what you both wanted for a long time. He leaned in and left a soft kiss to your lips, staying there for a little until he realized what he was doing and quicly moved back and sat up.

“I’m so sorry about that! I’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable... i should probably leave.” he said quickly and started gathering his things.

You stood up and made your way over him, took his face into your hands and smashed your lips to his. He dropped he things he was carrying and put his arms around your waist bringing you closer so that your chests were pressed together. Your lips moved in sync and your hands make their way up to the nape of his neck, playing with the hair there. He licked your bottom lip asking for pesmission and when you opened your lips he slipped his tongue into your mouth. After a while you both pulled back and stared into eachother’s eyes.

“Been wanting to do that for a long time.” you said biting your lip smiling, looking back at him.

“Did you now?” he chuckled and pecked your lips once more. “Thank you. For everything you said about me. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate you.” he smiled and pressed his forehead against yours.

“Of course Buck. I’ll always be here for you.” you smiled back and looked at his lips again. “So...you wanna do that again?” you giggled.

“Absolutely” he smiled and leaned in again capturing your lips into his. His hands moved down to your ass giving it a squeeze, before hissing and pulling back because his back had just collided with the wall. He looked at you with furrowed brows, pretending to be angry because you had pushed him all the way back.

“Oops...”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #the winter soldier #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 7

a/n: im sorry but takeru could take my uwus like hes so adorable yall 🥺😭

anon:

-LETS BE HONESTTT WITH OURSELVES. oikawa bringing takeru to practice cuz he forgot he promised to watch him n so he asks you to watch him while he rushes off to change— and then takeru goes OFF after he hears that YOURE the person uncle tooru keeps talking about. he basically just exposes oikawa, gets on your good side w all the embarrassing blackmail material he can provide, and oikawa comes back to you grinning like a madwoman HAHAHAHAHA c,:

tumblr moot:

-‘ Omg Takeru spills to his mom and grandmother how Oikawa had a crush and how awkward he is around this girl. Which leads to them inviting her over without Oikawa knowing. He comes home one day, a lil upset because yn wasn't at practice only to hear her giggling with his mother and sister while having tea ‘

NOW THIS IS THE REAL TEAAA!!!!!!!

TAKERU IS SUCH A MOOD MY GOD IMAGINE HAVING A CRACKHEAD UNCLE LIKE OIKAWA!!!!😭😭😭😭

uwu yes i love this req so lets start

so basically

two words:

uncle oikawa

bahahaha no not really but yes really tho

anyways

this is going to basically be the scenario where takeru has accepted you as his auntie

so sit down my little grasshoppers because this is finna be a long one

it all started when oikawa forgot his promise

now,

oikawa prides himself in being a know-it-all and being ‘responsible’ or shit like that but hes,,,,, far from that

like how he was currently running towards the gym where takeru’s volleyball class was at because he forgot that his sister made him promise to pick his nephew up since she was working overtime today

oikawa tooru didnt care about his appearance and the way he huffed as he sonic nyoomed his way there since he was more scared of what his sister would do to him if she finds out he was late

the sight of the gym door has never felt so good

‘TAKERU!!’

he yelled and a head peaked out that belonged to the one and only boy

‘uncle, youre so loud’

he chided and tooru rolled his eyes before grabbing his hand

‘hey, go get your stuff. im late and y/n is going go kill me if im not there’

takeru rolled his own eyes and went at a snail’s pace as he packed up his knee pads and his water bottles

‘TAKERU HURRY UP WHAT-!’

‘hmm,, dont lie uncle. you just want to see the pretty goddess nee-chan’

OKAY TAKERU DANG

so basically,,

its been mentioned that you call the boys a lot or its them calling you and oikawa happens to be the one who calls you constantly

and takeru lives with them and he’s usually up quite late so he hears tooru downstairs while talking to you

like one time, he couldnt sleep and his mom told him to drink warm milk to help him so he was just going down the stairs when he heard tooru laugh

now, dont get him wrong

hes heard his uncle laugh before so hes seen how he laughs around girls and it was like nails on a chalkboard

but this time, it sounded very genuine and his chuckles were almost,,, shy

and he figured that tooru was talking to a girl since he kept saying a girl’s name

‘y/n-chan~ youre so cute~ dont make me come over there and kiss you~’

oikawa cooed and takeru cringed

so he was talking to you

he was no stranger to your name as he once teased his uncle for being whipped and got an hour long rant about how beautiful you were and nice and angelic and how you were just an angel on earth

so yea he knew you

tooru’s voice became clearer as he stepped foot into the kitchen

even a child like him could tell his uncle was basically in love with you

and he doesnt even really know what love is!!

‘disgusting’

the child said and tooru, who believes in ghosts and is the biggest scaredy cat, shrieked at the sudden voice

‘oikawa-san? what’s wrong?’

your voice could be heard through his phone but tooru quickly told you good night and ended the call before he got off the chair and crossed his arms to stand in front of takeru

‘what did you say?’

he asked and takeru looked up at him, mimicking his pose

‘i said, its disgusting, uncle’

oikawa looked offended

‘what?! how could you say that?!’

takeru shrugged then he walked over to the fridge

‘yozora-kun told me that girls have cooties and we would die if we get it’

god it was such a childish thing to say but to an actual child like takeru, it sounded perfectly valid

‘its gross and nasty and he said you get all sweaty and you get a fever and ew’

tooru shook his head in disbelief before going over to help the boy get a glass

‘its not nasty or gross or disgusting, takeru. its actually,,, really nice. you dont die from it and you get sweaty when you get nervous and you dont get a fever, you just get flustered, thats all’

takeru still didnt believe him

‘well, he also said girls become monsters and they would eat your face’

KFJDSLFJSLDKIM SCREAMING

oikawa chortled

‘what?!’

‘you heard me. all girls are monsters and you should protect yourself, uncle’

but when he met you, my oh my, you were no monster

you were,,,,,, really really really pretty

poor takeru doesnt really know the real meaning of beautiful so he settled on you being really really really really pretty

like when oikawa dragged him in the gym, takeru stared at you

his mind couldnt process on the fact that someone as pretty as you even existed

but that doesnt really say much since hes only like 8

BUT STILL

oikawa was hurriedly shoving them both in the gym and he was annoyed that takeru was just standing there but he was really just watching you as you scurried around to give the team their towels

‘takeru! come on!’

tooru’s voice snapped him out of it so he finally walked forward

‘y/n-chan~!’

oikawa called out and iwaizumi was about to yell at him for being late but you already had your bad bitch face on and you were strutting over

‘oikawa tooru, do you know how late you are?!’

you scolded and pulled his ear down to your height

‘eeeehhhh~~??? y/n-chan dont be so rough! it hurts! dont hurt oikawa-san!’

he teased to ease your anger but you sucked in a sharp breath

‘ill make sure it hurts more’

oikawa turned pale and started pleading and stuttering

‘please pleaseplease y/n-chan, i had to pick up takeru and it was a total mess and-’

at the mention of takeru, you let go of him and you finally caught sight of the little boy

ohmygee he was so adorable and youre just a sucker for adorable kids so you kinda squatted to his height since the height difference wasnt that big

you gave him a big smile and waved a hand

‘hey, you must be takeru. im y/n’

the poor kid’s face turned red unknowingly and he stiffened before nodding aggressively

‘my name is oikawa takeru and i am 6 years old’

he hand out his hands to prove his age and you giggled before nodding

‘my name is l/n y/n and i am 16 years old’

you held out 10 fingers then switched to having 6 up like he did

‘waaaa youre,,,’

the boy paused to subtract with his fingers before looking up at you with wide eyes

‘youre 10 years older than me!’

you sweatdropped at the sudden thought of being old

‘hmm i guess i am’

you tilted your head to the side and continued to talk to the boy, completely oblivious to the stares from the others

they all sported a bright red blush and red ears at the thought of you being so good with kids and what if it was their own?

kindaichi gasped and held his hands to his face to cover the burst of all shades of red that decorated his entire face

OHMYGOSH THEYRE SO WHIPPED WHAT

‘ne, nee-chan, i know you’

takeru spoke as you led him to sit down on the bleacher, away from the practicing team and from any rogue balls

‘oh? you do?’

‘eung! uncle talks about you all the time! and he calls you too! i live with him, see, and nana yells at him for being on his phone during dinner because hes talking to you’

takeru admitted and you turned red, suddenly flustered

‘he talks about me? what does he say about me, take-chan?’

the little boy paused, holding his chin to think, then he lit up

‘he calls you beautiful goddess y/n-chan!’

YALL TAKERU IS SO CUTE WHAT THE HECK

‘he does?’

you asked, wholeheartedly surprised

takeru violently nods his head

‘yes! uncle talks about you all the time! my friend yozora wants to meet you too!’

‘hah? who is that?’

takeru sheepishly scratches his cheek

‘yozora-kun told uncle that girls are gross but uncle got mad and told him you were different because you were pretty and nice and yozora wants to see if you really were’

you laughed at the childish claims of this yozora boy

‘well,,, take-chan, do you think im gross?’

you asked, making the boy flustered again

‘no,,,, nee-chan is really pretty’

he mumbled while twiddling his fingers and you squealed before hugging him

‘oh, take-chan! you should visit more often!’

takeru nodded, smiling at how warm you were

‘eung! i love nee-chan! see? i can say i love nee-chan because im not a coward like uncle!’

you pulled away just slightly with a raised eyebrow

‘what are you talking about, takeru?’

the child puffed out his chest and his lip took on a smug angle

‘uncle talks to the mirror every morning! he says hes practicing! he takes forever just saying he loves you in the mirror and he doesnt let me pee! but its okay! because uncle can keep being coward but i get the pretty nee-chan!’

a disbelieving smile settled itself on your face and you absentmindedly caressed his smaller hand

‘what else does uncle do, take-chan? you see, nee-chan wants to tease him!’

takeru paused then lit up

‘oh! before i was born, mama told me uncle ate flowers because he thought his fart would smell like roses!’

‘hah?!’

your cries of shock made the boy laugh and you joined in with him

‘also! iwa-nii made me a tree house, right?! and uncle wanted to go in but he was too big so he got stuck at the front door! iwa-nii had to take the front part out and used soap to get him out!’

your cackles attracted the now ready captain and oikawa had an uneasy look

that little brat mustve told you some embarrassing stories based on how you laughed

‘oi! takeru! you shut your mouth right now, young man!’

he shouted and quickly stomped over to you at the bleachers

but you held the boy close, protecting him from the angry brunette

‘no! you stay away, oikawa-san! nee-chan will protect you, take-chan!’

you proclaimed and takeru was more than happy to snuggle closer and stick his tongue out at his uncle

you had a similar mischevious look and a wide but scary grin on your face that spelled nothing but trouble

was he,,,, being blackmailed right now?

tooru was scandalised at the thought and the act causign him to lunge over to you, tickling your sides so you could loosen your grip on the child

but you held on, giggling loudly causing takeru to also laugh when tooru’s fingers would touch his side too

‘no! stop-! ack-! tooru!’

you shouted but tooru was able to find an opening to grab takeru by under his arms and you reached over to grab him back but he was already lifted high

‘now what did you tell her, you brat?’

‘nothing!’

takeru shrieked but tooru hummed, not quite believing him

‘i dont think so’

tooru sat down on the floor and placed takeru on his lap with his fingers quickly hitting his ticklish spots

‘NOOO!!!! UNCLE!!!!’

you giggled and joined over, completely forgetting where you were and what your responsibilities are

okay can we take a second on how cute this moment is?

like despite the team practically being in love with you, they couldnt help but think of how much you guys looked like a family

iwa herded everyone to stop staring and keep practicing bc he knew that this was the first time tooru has been truly happy in a very long time

by the end of practice, you and takeru were practically best friends already

you were very sad to have to let him go home but he promised to come back soon

tooru gave him over to iwa so he could talk to you while you were packing up

you were putting on your jacket when you felt him tap your shoulder

with a smile, you turned around and he mirrored your grin

well,,, it was more like a shy and bashful grin

from behind him, you could see takeru being lifted by mattsun and his laughter echoed in the wind

tooru noticed your gaze then chuckled softly

‘thank you for,,, yanno,, keeping him busy’

you waved your hands around with a laugh

‘nonono! its okay! really! hes so adorable that i look forward to seeing him again!’

he let out a relieved sigh then placed his hands in his pockets, rocking on the balls of his feet

‘y/n,, youre really good with kids’

that comment made you flustered but you waved it off

‘nah, i just connect with them more. theyre so easily entertained and the innocence is nice’

‘well,, youll be a great mother in the future’

you chuckled then ruffled his soft hair

‘youll be a great father in the future then oikawa-san’

at first, he was just going to laugh it off but then the image of you playing with a child who possessed chocolate brown locks and beautiful e/c eyes appeared

he turned red and he fumbled for a response, completely speaking gibberish with no idea of what to even say

unfortunately for him, the team was not in a far distance and they could hear oikawa sputtering nonsense so to ‘help’ him, they started shouting for you guys to hurry up

‘come on! lets go, you guys! the bakery closes in a 10 minutes!’

makki yelled and you perked up and waved to signal you were going

‘come on, oikawa-san!’

you grabbed his hand and pulled him along

takeru noticed his uncle’s red face and a cute sly smile creeped up on his face

‘hmmm,,,,’

then he started a plan

and wow god must’ve wanted him to succeed because its like the fates and the stars and the universe just aligned

takeru was walking with his mom around a supermarket when he noticed your familiar h/c hair

‘y/n nee-chan!’

he shrieked before he could even stop himself and you were startled, wildly looking around for the person who said your name

‘nee-chan!’

takeru shouted again, running away from his mom towards you

‘takeru-!’

yall what is oikawa’s sister’s name? lets name her ‘tara’

tara shouted for her son and ofc ran after him when he didnt listen

‘takeru!’

you greeted back and winced a little when the force fo the little boy crashed into your legs

‘nee-chan! momma, look its nee-chan!’

takeru said when his mother caught up to him

‘oikawa takeru! you never run in the store like that again, you hear me?’

she scolded but then smiled up at you

‘oh hello darling, you must be y/n. im tara, tooru’s older sister and takeru’s mom’

she outstretched her hand for you to shake so you awkwardly shook it

‘uh-im l/n y/n’

‘momma! shes the pretty nee-chan i told you about! and shes the one uncle talks to every night!’

you cringed a little when takeru was excitedly talking as he was attracting other people with his loud voice

tara bless her heart noticed your discomfort and told you to go and follow her to the checkout if you were done

she ended up paying for your stuff despite your protests but she excused it as ‘consider this as payment for putting up that idiot brother of mine’

takeru wanted to show off so he held your bags but you still held on to their own to help tara out

‘ne, nee-chan! why are you not with uncle? its practice today, right?’

takeru asked as you three walked down the street

‘natsu’s sick so i was picking up some porridge for him to eat. i excused today because i wanted to take care of him’

takeru lit up

‘nee-chan! you should come over! nana wants to meet you too!’

tara rolled her eyes at her son with a smile

‘no, take-kun. nee-chan needs to go home to look after-’

‘ah, its okay, oikawa-san! natsu wont be awake for a while so i can spare an hour or two’

‘yey!’

tara made small talk with you while takeru hummed in front of you

‘thank you so much for putting up with my two boys, y/n. i heard from hajime that you kept takeru company while tooru practiced’

you nodded

‘it wasnt a big deal though. i love takeru, hes a sweetheart. and oikawa-san takes good care of him’

tara chuckled

‘as much as takeru loves to poke fun at tooru, he really does appreciate him you know? without a father, i worried on who would be his male figure. but tooru lived up to his title and takeru wants to do everything he does. like say, volleyball’

you followed along and you could see the little bits of tooru even by the way takeru walked

the little skip that his uncle had seemed to copy itself on to the nephew with even the happy humming

‘oikawa-san is,,, a really great person’

you off-handedly mentioned and tara looked at you from the corner of her eye

warmth blossomed in her chest because although she knew how much of an insecure and rash person her brother was, he deserves someone who talks about him with such love in their voice

even the look in your eyes was enough to make her think,

yep, you are the one

omg nana oikawa is ltr head-over-heels for you already

the love for y/n is an oikawa thing

when takeru opened the door, nana oikawa rushed to greet her grandson when she saw another person

a girl

‘nana! nana! this is y/n nee-chan! uncle’s pretty goddess!’

uwu nana knows who exactly you are

lets just say shes exactly like takeru and has witnessed her son lovingly talk to some y/n girl at 3 in the morning

and her son has expressed his love and admiration towards you every chance he can

so yes lets just say she knows who you are

thats why nana brightly smiled and quickly ushered you into the house

‘oh come in! come in! takeru-kun, go lead y/n-chan to the couch and make her comfortable! ill get tea!’

takeru nodded and he grabbed your hand with his small one to go to the living room

you awkwardly sat stiffly, not exactly knowing what to do as this entire family seemed to know who you are

takeru settled himself beside you and was actively talking about what they did at volleyball practice today

you were enamored in his story that you didnt notice nana walk in with a try of tea with tara trailing behind her with cookies

you moved to help her but nana shook her head with a gentle smile before sitting down at the chair beside the couch

‘here you go, dear’

you bowed slightly and held the cup of green tea

everyone was now settled and you were nervously tapping your finger against the cup

you dont even know why youre nervous

its like youre suddenly meeting your boyfriend’s family without your boyfriend actually there

‘so,’

you jumped a little at the voice of nana and she smiled at you

‘oh dear dont be so nervous! we’re not that bad! we dont bite’

‘unless you want us to’

takeru whispered and you giggled, ruffling his hair with your free hand

‘so youre the famous y/n-chan then?’

you nodded again

‘takeru told us all about his adventures at seijoh the other day and, well,, he likes to tease his uncle but,, we believe him’

tara smiled, remembering her son’s words

‘nee-chan, i told them that uncle was very weird and shy and awkward and it was so weird’

he whispered, yet still able to be heard by everyone in the room

‘oh my, when we heard that we couldnt believe a person, much less a female, could even do that to him! i worried that my son would never develop interest in any girl but it seems i was worrying for nothing!’

nana giggled and you couldnt help but smile, realizing her laugh sounded exactly like tooru’s

‘you know, y/n, tooru’s never really had a crush before. and believe me, id know but even with his last girlfriend, which was also his first, he didnt seem interested at her in that way-well, maybe he was but he wasnt exactly enamored with her like he is with you’

you knew little about tooru’s first and last girlfriend

it was the butt of mattsuhana’s jokes all the time but you never partook bc you could see how,,, sad,,, tooru looks whenever its brought up

but you turned red,hand waving at her last comment

‘oh nonono, youre wrong. uhh, how do i say this,, oikawa-san,,, he just appreciates me bc,, i,,, reject his advances,, and,,, bring him milk bread,,, and banana milk,,,, and such,,,’

you trailed off and the two older women shared a look behind their cups

heh, it was refreshing to have tooru do the chasing this time

‘you must be wondering how, we, you know, know you, right?’

you nodded at nana’s question

she chuckled then placed her tea down

‘you see, we are aware of tooru’s,,,, expiditions. and by that, we mean the interest of others in him and his returned interest. but hes our family so we know that his interest is,, actually fake’

you looked down, knowing exactly what shes talking about

‘especially with girls, we see his annoyance, his ignorance, and we’re not proud of it. but with you, when he talks about you, its as if he was talking about the,,, the love of his life!’

you were startled, not sure if you should be proud of that or confused about that

‘mom! dont say that!’

tara nagged but nana shrugged her off

‘no, i want to express my gratitude for this girl. y/n, i want you to know now that,,, my son is damaged’

‘takeru cover your ears’

tara hurried and the boy shot his mother a confused look but still did it anyways

‘tooru,,, feels that he shouldnt burden us as he’s now the man of the house after his father and i’s separation. and,,, perhaps its the past of his father’s but,,, he doesnt let anyone in, except for us and hajime’

nana oikawa’s eyes held sadness

a raw emotion that shouldnt be shown to a stranger but by how much and how often tooru talks about you, she practically knew you already

‘and he refuses to do anything that isn’t necessary. he hates doing pointless things unless they will serve him purpose in the future thats why he focuses on that damn sport so much, even giving himself injuries! i worried and worried for him but then,, you came along. all the sudden, i see the life in his eyes that was wrongly taken from him, be replaced and its all because of a girl. ive never heard tooru talk about someone else other than his team or hajime so it was quite a surprise for us that he found someone who was, what he considers, worth his time. and the way,, the way he looks when he talks,,, y/n, i believe you are what he says, an angel’

a sudden wave of tears appeared as nana oikawa looked up to meet your eyes and you let out a stiff laugh but you tightened your grip on your cup

‘you are,,, my son’s angel’

DKFLJSKDFJDSLKFJSDLKFJD MY FEELS

the conversation was quickly shifted by tara as she could see the conflict in the way your eyebrows furrowed and the rapid movement of your pupils

she knew that you were probably still at a stage that you didnt realize your captain’s real and authentic feelings for you and she didnt want you to find out this way

tara knows how emotional her mother can get regarding her son so she switched to another topic to not get too in deep with the whole situation

next thing you knew, you were giggling and laughing at nana oikawa’s merciless onslaught of her son’s childhood events

you attempted to hide your laugh by sipping your drink but it still came out wholeheartedly

‘yes! i wondered for a whole week as to why my roses were disappearing and i never would’ve thought id find my son eating them at 6 in the morning!’

nana cackled while takeru was so laugh-tired that he slumped over to your side, completely breathless

‘oh! dont forget the mickey mouse one! you see, y/n, we spent about a week at my aunts house and tooru saw a mouse! the poor child woke everyone up at midnight, screaming about a mouse sleeping next to him! and just to top it off, we visited disneyland and, whew, we just know now to avoid mickey mouse. to this day, that child is still traumatized by that cartoon’

meanwhile at seijoh,

oikawa was sneezing nonstop and iwaizumi has bonked him many many times now

‘OI! IF YOU GET SICK RIGHT NOW I WILL HIT YOU!’

‘OH GREAT! ILL BE SICK AND HAVE A CONCUSSION AT THE SAME TIME! THANKS IWA-CHAN!’

tooru irritably snapped and iwa was even surprised at how snippy he was

‘oi, what crawled up your ass and died today’

oikawa pouted then stomped his foot like a child

‘y/n isnt here today’

‘oikawa shes taking care of her cousin! she has a life outside of us you know?’

makki teased but flinched when tooru stomped his foot harder

‘but im her life! im all she needs!’

the entire team sweatdropped at the sight of makki and mattsun holding back their bara arms vice captain from beating up their captain

‘ill be sure to give him mickey mouse stickers next time!’

you teased and they laughed

there was still remaining giggles left when the door handle twisted and the front door opened, revealing the man of the hour himself

takeru perked up and ran to the door to greet his uncle

‘uncle! uncle!’

he exclaimed and tooru sighed before grinning at him

his ears twitched at a familiar muffled giggle but he thought nothing of it by excusing it as him missing you so much that hes now hearing you

the thought of you dampened his mood again

‘uncle is too sad to play with you, takeru’

takeru’s head tilted to the side and one eyebrow was raised

‘heh? why? iwa-nii bonk you too hard?’

tooru shook his head solemnly

‘no. my darling wasnt there today and-’

‘oikawa-san, welcome home’

you emerged into the small hallway and tooru’s jaw dropped

then he snapped out of the surprise and ran straight towards you, picking you up and twirling you around

‘Y/N-CHAN~~~~~!!!!!’

he cheered and you giggled, trying to hold on to his shoulders to stabilize yourself

‘dont be so loud, oikawa-san’

you chided but with a smile

tooru calmed down however he still held you in his arms and was looking up at you with a grin, completely missing the fact that youre even at his house

‘its so nice to have y/n-chan greet me at the door. its like i have a wife! you wanna be my wife, y/n?’

you blushed a deep red and flicked his forehead

‘oikawa-san, your mother and sister is-’

you whispered harshly but a sudden shout made you both turn

‘NO! NEE-CHAN IS MY WIFE! NOT UNCLE’S! SHES TOO PRETTY FOR A COWARD LIKE UNCLE! I WILL FIGHT FOR NEE-CHAN! SURRENDER, UNCLE!’

you and oikawa looked at each other exasperatedly but with a fond look in your eyes

‘go’

you whispered

‘avenge me, oikawa-san’

that was enough for him to drop you gently and run to tackle takeru, who was giggling and kicking the air

you returned to your spot on the couch but shrunk back at the smirks the two oikawa women were directing to you

nana oikawa wanted you to have dinner with them so you stayed and oikawa held your hand under the table

even though they could obviously see it but yanno just stay quiet

‘y/n-chan, as much as i love you being here and meeting my family, how did you get here?’

takeru proudly raised his hand and swallowed his food

‘I BROUGHT NEE-CHAN HERE! I SAW HER AT THE MARKET!’

tooru nodded and reached over to ruffle his head

‘thank you, takeru! you turned uncle’s bad day to a good one!’

you turned to him with a worried look

‘huh? did something happen while i was away?’

tooru shook his head and pouted at you with his puppy eyes

‘y/n-chan wasnt there at practice today and oikawa-san missed her very much and-’

‘oikawa-san, please refrain from speaking in third person’

‘BUT Y/N-CHAN-!’

again, the two oikawa women shared a look

yep, you are the one

oikawa naturally took it upon himself to walk you home by saying ‘y/n-chan shouldnt walk home by herself!’

but in reality, he just wanted to spend more time with you because he didnt get to do that today

he just wanted his daily fill of you

O_O

aNYwAys

you both were walking down the street, hand-in-hand

KDSFJLSDKFJ FLASHBACKS FROM THE OIKS ROUTE

‘i love your family, oikawa-san’

you said and he giggled

‘well, just wait a few years and youll be a part of it too’

you blushed and smacked him on the chest making him wince and exagerrate an ‘ow!’

‘your mom,,, really loves you. and your sister, and takeru! theyre really nice and im happy your family loves you so much’

‘what about you? do you love me?’

you hummed

‘eung! i love oikawa-san! and the boys! i love all of you!’

DKFLJSDKFJSDLKFSJD NOOOOO FLASHBACKS AGAIN TO THE KUWS EPISODE OF THEM LEAVING AND OIKAWA TELLING HER HE LOVES HER ANDFJDKFJSDKFLDKJ ACK! FEELINGS!

oikawa had a sad smile on but he didnt push any further

‘well! you met my family already so now its my turn to meet yours!’

you turned to give him a deadpan expression

‘oikawa-san, my father chased you with a broom. i dont think its safe for you to even step foot at my front porch’

oikawa scoffed and puffed out his chest smugly

‘hah! your oikawa-san is a strong man! he doesnt get scared over some broom!’

‘oh! oikawa-san! i need to get your opinion on this! i want to give iwa-san this mickey poster but-’

noticing that oikawa was no longer walking beside you, you turned around to see him staring at the spot you were previously at

‘oikawa-san?’

he didnt answer and you giggled

‘oh? is it mickey mouse? you scared?’

you neared the phone to his face and then his eyes settled on the terrifying face of the disney character

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAAAAAAAA WE FINALLY GETTING THROUGH REQS AND IM SO HAPPY THAT MY TEACHER IS SO NICE AND OMGOMGOMG MY FRIEND GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW A BIRD GOT INTO OUR CLASSROOM AND SDKFJDSLFKJSDLKFJSDLFKJNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyways, how yall been? i know ive been gone for a hot sec but uwu hey!!!

516 notes · View notes

cattles-bians · 3 years ago

Text

exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

#in which hannah says hegemonic perceptions of the working class and i pretend its foreshadowing vampire au #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #LONG one its like #2500 words which is #yknow! some pages #idk what counts as long all writing is witchcraft to meajhfjbnk #ik i should be pacing these a lil better but #i just wanna get up to vibeccas wedding im IMPATIENT

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queer-as-frikc · 4 years ago

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My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

#transphobia #transphobia tw #biphobia tw #abuse tw

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littlebigafterdark · 4 years ago

Text

patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning

#papa patton #asthma attack tw #do not reblog #little big after dark concepts

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luvdsc · 4 years ago

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hi miss cat sooooo i feel abit queasy rn?? idk so sTORY TIME :D i have this guy friend,,,, let's call him 'beer' (idk what to call him oKAy OHMYGOD) LMAO. his family and my family are pretty close but we only met personally in the beginning of last year since they moved here to my city and they didn't know anybody else in the area except me n my fam so not only did we helped them move in to their new place but we also helped them familiarize the area. and they would constantly go to our house and vice versa. me being anti social and introverted, i never really interacted with them much?? after eating i would just walk straight back to my room and lock myself up there until they're gone OR.... i would wait for them to leave so i could eat JKGFDJSDKS (i have social anxiety n interactions seem draining at times so i just avoid ppl i'm unfamiliar or uncomfy with ;-;). tURns out,,, we were the same age???? JDFKDKV me and 'beer' got close during my sister's bday party. it was just a small n intimate gathering (only like 5 ppl,, including me n my sis) nd he was invited. my sis was so drunk, we had to bring her up to her room and tuck her into bed,,, my sis friend was in the bathroom puking the night away JDFKSSJNK and the others were just either passed out drunk or just didnt wanna drink anymore. but there was so much drinks left and we didnt want to waste it, so me and 'beer' ended up tryna finish the cocktails that was made since it was such a waste to throw them out and since i was under the consumption of alcohol i became more outspoken and confident than i usually am JFVDSJKVDJK we had a couple drinks earlier so while we were abit tipsy and we looked like crazed people talking and giggling n shit,, we became close after that night. and from there, we became each other's designated "drinking buddies". IDK IF THATS AN ACTUAL THING BUT YEA :D LIEK, EVERYTIME WE DRINK LIKE WE'RE JUST ALWAYS TOGETHER, KINDA LIKE A DUO,, DRUNK PARTNERS IN CRIME OR WHATNOT JKDSKFFJV and we would even make bets on who's had more drinks or sumn. and as time went by, i noticed how he got alittle comfortable with me?? he'd try to like make advances or do some gentlemanly stuff (which he doesn't normally do around me??) at first i didn't rlly mind since he prob was tipsy or something. and then during new year’s,, as in when the clock struck 12 am,, he messaged me and confessed that he started harboring a crush on me and that he had feelings for me ;-; IDK WHAT TO REPLY SO I WAS LIKE: "HAHA U'RE PROB SHITFACED DRUNK RN,, GO TO SLEEP :)" and he was like: "nO IM SERIOUS, IHAVE FEELINGS 4 U, AND NO I DIDNT DRINK ANYTHING TODAY" KJFNXCSKJDVF I JUST LEFT HIM ON READ AFTER THAT CUS IDK WHAT TO DO?? HJSDNDFSKF ++ i'm not rlly into these kind of things and i just dont see him that way,,,, i'm the type wherein if i just don't see anything even just a teeny-tiny spark, it's just NO. + commitment scares me :( i just felt so scared n weirded out so after that i just started avoiding him :// there were times where his fam n him would stop by at our place so i literally just lock myself up in my room whenever they're there and wait til they left. but today, they came again and we all ate dinner together. i sat across him and he greeted me saying "hi". i can only offer him the most awkward smile cus i didn't wanna be rude to him infront of everybody. his sister literally squealed HJFDVKSJK and i think she knew what was going on LMAO. after eating, i went to the kitchen and i was just washing the dishes and he suddenly came in, he seemed so nervous i honestly felt bad :( and he was like tryna bring up the 'confession thing' but the tension was just so bad n awkward. and he was like,, "let me just wash the dishes" and i was like "nO, u're a guest just leave the dishes here and i'll wash) and we were just bickering back and fort having a banter of who's washing the dishes, but i just was so fed up i grabbed his plate and i washed it myself FJBKDNVSJF and he was like,, "we good?" im like"yea?? ig" KFDJNSS idk now it just feels weird, he's cool but i just dont rlly like

him that way and although i admire him for being honest with his feelings abt me, i just dont think we can hangout anymore like we used to. so yea im srry if this is so long holy shit im so sorry. i hope life been treating u well bub!! <33

bdudidkdnfjjdjd oh god, lovebug, this all sounds really awkward, and I totally get how you feel 🤧🤧 like when they say “we’re good?” it’s like that when you say that you’re fine but you’re not really fine meme fjjfkdkffkck 😀😀 because the friendship gets so awkward after that, and it sucks because you see him as a really good friend and really liked hanging out with each other but now feelings made everything weird and you’re never gonna be able to go back to how it was before because those feelings will always be on the back of your mind and the friendship is not the same and you eventually drift apart and god, it just really sucks to lose a friend /: it’s basically the eventual slow death of a friendship and it’s just so complicated and I’m sorry you have to go through that, honey bee ): I hope you’re able to work things out with him tho 💗 and thank you, honey bee !!!! Aside from this, I hope life has been treating you kindly as well, sweetpea 💕

#asks #anonymous

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kyunsies · 4 years ago

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things i love + appreciate about my closest moots 💖 (obviously no particular order bc you all hold such a special place in my heart)

i was going to wait and post this when i hit 400 followers but that has passed and i wasn't ready in time and i didn’t really know when to post this ;; so i’m just going to do it now to remind everyone that it is truly a blessing to be here in your presence :) i don’t want to get mushy ALREADY sdlkfjsd but pls know you all mean so much to me <33

@theyoungflexer — my person, my rock, chelle you’re super special!! we have such a quirky relationship that somehow works extremely well; idk how but i had this feeling from the moment we spoke with each other i was like “omg this gal is so funky and sweet!!” i was really excited to get to know you, and we’ve talked everyday without FAIL since we became moots :) v grateful for you chelle, you’re my home girl!! (even tho we live across the states hehe) 💘💗 also i just respect you on so many levels like the way you just attend one of the most amazing colleges in the US and is thriving?? not to mention your equally as smart brother also going to an amazing college too???????? speechless. ALSO BIG SHOUT OUT BC you are also the reason for inspiring me to start giffing so,,,,,,literally wouldn’t be here without you GOD chelle i’m so mushy for you :’((((

@softhyungkyun — 1/2 of my mom friends!!! my monmomma, my calming energy in this chaotic world!! victoria, my sweet vic how i love u so!! not to mention the BEST canadabebe around 😘 truly don’t know what i would do without you hun!! do u know how special u are to me?? how much i loved ur lil bunny pics whenever u went on a run; your CONSTANT surveillance of my many typos; and most importantly your scalding of me whenever i show my ~alter ego nasty mädch who is a simp for kyun~ (huh?? who said that, certainly not me!!) i literally look up to you in so many ways, and i’m glad i have someone like you in my life 💗💘💖

@ckyunoirs — you’ve all seen it coming but my actual soulmate!! the best kyun soulmate ever 🥺 i honestly can’t remember how we became moots LOL but i just know i thought you seemed like an absolute sweetheart (which you are) and i was so nervous to talk to you!! i was like “ah omg she has so many anons and everyone associates her w kyun i would like to be at that level” but look at us now!!! we really do share the same (thirsting for kyun always 🤝) braincell and i love that i can tell you what’s on my mind always!! you are such a nurturing soul suni, always stressing how important it is to take care of ourselves 🤧 angel behavior i think!! i don’t even have to elaborate anymore bc i think (i hope) you know truly how much you mean to me suni!!!!! thank you for being such a great friend <33

@memehyungwon — nessa!!! my love whom i get extremely excited about whenever i see your name pop up in my inbox 🥺🥺 get yourself a nessa!!!! so sweet, so supportive, so kind, and just all around LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY!! the cutest, my emotional support bub really 💘💗💖💓💞 so much love for you, plus you’re a multi-talented queen with the moodboards + edits like hello you are LEGENDARY!!! also a multistan extraordinaire, what more could u ask for?? aaaand you call me your “cariño mio” like.......,,shush i’m sobbing just thinking of it 🥺

@pansynight — i think ezra is a fallen angel I SAID IT!!! srsly THE most supportive, trustworthy, and down to earth person in the whole wide world. such a hard worker i mean moodboards, audio edits, writing on the side sometimes, AND gifmaking???????? incredible!!! and is just as a hopeless romantic as i am (cue us crying over how much we love Love together,,,,,i need a moment 😭)!! one friend who i can feel totally comfortable + stripped down with 💙💙 did i already say supportive bc ezra is the Most Supportive Bub if you didn’t already catch that 🥺

@sohcean — bee!!!! a fairly recent moot but one i love very much nonetheless!!!! i looked up to you a lot akdbdjdkjdb like you were one of my “it” monsta x blogs imo hehe but i remember i tagged you in a post where an anon asked me who my fav blogs were and 🥺🥺 you sent me an ask something along the lines of “ty v much i’m glad we’re moots now!!” AND WHEN I TELL YOU!!! i was crying 😭😭😭 anyways, always checks in on me once in a while and you’re always super duper sweet and caring (and thank you for submitting sweet kyun pics occasionally; they are SO desperately needed);; plus you are so extremely eloquent with your writing -- when you post something particularly long i kinda just space out into dreamland bc you just take me to another place with your words omg *chefs kiss* love ya hun!!! 💙💜💙💜💙

@burnitupmp3 — ah ADRY!!! honestly i was really scared to talk to you too for some reason DJFLSDJ but i think that’s bc you’re so extremely hilarious :’) but now that we are certified CLINGMATES 🥺 i literally thank my lucky stars for you everyday :( always and i mean ALWAYS supporting not only me but all of your other moots too ITS SO AMAZING TO SEE!!!!!! never being shy and always starting a conversation with everyone like i’m starting to get the feeling that maybe you DO in fact know every monbebe on this site HEHE but!!!!! grateful for you, if there is one singular constant on tumblr it's you and you're humor, kindness, individuality 💘💗 1/3 of my joobebes, but my ONLY rujoobebe :’) alSO TY FOR FEEDING ME J.SEPH CONTENT <33

@minhyukie — LISTEN if you don’t follow amy you’re missing oUT!!!! but srsly amy i’m going to get really mushy on you jfsdlkfj 🥺🥺 i’ve been following you ever since i made this blog in january (obvi bc u make High Quality content) and i just need to get this off my chest but when u popped in my messages telling me what i was doing wrong in ps about the smart object thing I LITERALLY SCREAMED I JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT I MESSAGED @theyoungflexer AND WAS LIKE OMG OMG OMG AMY JUST TALKED TO ME!!!!!!!!! jeez like i was so embarrassingly excited :’D !!! man, am i SO happy we are moots <33 the best minbebe around, always providing me with advice and so many resources,,,not to mention we kinda (??) live relatively close-ish to each other so that’s also very cool LOL but srsly!!! amy you are such a backbone for the mbb community here and i look up to you SO much,,,smooches to u 💘💗

@leejooheons — aj!!! 2/3 of my joobebes!!! we are only recently moots but much like amy, i’ve been following you since the beginning of my blog’s existence!! gosh i look up to you in sooooo many ways and again LIKE AMY when i finally found the courage to talk to you i kinda freaked out when you responded LOL !! your gifs are absolutely AMAZING STUNNNG WONDERFUL; you inspire me to really improve my skills, and you always always ALWAYS give me such helpful advice all the time when i don’t even ask for it :( if anything i can't imagine how annoying it is to see me complain about all of my ps troubles but you still take time out of your day to always give me the best tips ever. and for that??? i’m SUPER grateful for all that you do for not only me but for monbebe tumblr too !!! 💘💗

@chaelight — fern!! my other resourceful monbebe moot 🥺 even though we don’t talk all the time, you, like aj, are always providing me with such amazing content advice!!! seriously idk why you all are so incredibly nice to me it’s so touching 😭 and just like bee, you also give me such a calming vibe; you’re just an overall delight to see on my dash because your content is SO well thought out too <33 love you fern!!

@joosgf — lulu!!! 3/3 of my joobebes who also takes the time to tag me in kyun content 🥺 we do not message often but :( omg you’re such a freaking cutie :( i knew i wanted to be your friend when i found your blog bc 1) everyone loves u and 2) you are so incredibly nice <33 i really hope we get to grow closer in the future!! you are so supportive even though we aren't close, and just know that you can always come to me for anything!! also i just love your adoration for our joober it’s SO SWEET, i love to see you geek about him bc it really is the cutest thing <33

@haoranghae — jill!!!!!!! my eastern standard time pal!!!!!!! <33 honestly i think you're the only moot where i DONT have to think about you being asleep while i’m up bc i know we’re on the same time schedule :’) my multifandom buddy who shares my love for victon and honestly a lot of other groups too!! surprisingly we don’t message often but like, i feel like when we DO talk we always pick up where we left off, if that makes sense? i always feel at home talking with you <33 and you’re so freaking SUPPORTIVE always saying nice things and going out of your way once in a while to pop in the inbox!! jill dear you are such a joy, thank you for being you 🥺

@morkyun — carly my sweet angel!!! one of my most precious fellow kyunbebes!!!! idk why you’re so darn SWEET TO ME!! just the sweetest; always asking how i’m doing, always crying over changkyun with me, always participating in ask games sdkjflskdfjslkf how can i ask for anything more than you?? super DUPER grateful to have u in my life, literally such a blessing <33 AND U HAVE ME IN YOUR BIO <33 IM MELTING PLS I FREAKING LOVE U!!!

@hohyuk — everyone LISTEN UP AS A TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!!!! my ma, 2/2 of the mom friends!! you aren’t as active as you were when i first started to talk to you (bc u are a wonderful working WOMAN) but gosh, you made such an impact on me ma :( you are such a caring and nurturing person like the only way i can describe you is motherly :( i remember we would always talk about our days + weekends bc we never really messaged a lot HOWEVER we would always touch base at the end of the week and catch up!! although we don’t talk that often anymore, i want you to know that you will always have a special place in my heart for being exceptionally kind to me 💘💗 and for that i am forever thankful for you ma!! love you!!

@kihyunsgf — kass my cutie patootie!!! we have been moots for a long time it feels!! ( i mean long for me since i’ve one been here since january lol) but you are such an amazing monbebe friend!!! we don’t really private message each other but it seems like we always participate in each other’s ask games so it’s always fun to get to know a little bit more about each other every time we ask questions!! you always reblog not only my work, but every other content creator moots’ works too and i just think you are an extremely supportive friend in general <33 thank you for always being so approachable and warm, and i hope we only grow closer as time goes on 💘💗

@kkyuns — okay aminah OMG so,,,,,,,,,idk if you even want me to consider you a moot yet or anything but 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 can i pls be your moot LOL srsly 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and if you don’t feel comfortable that’s okay and u can just consider this an appreciation post dksfjslkdjf but!!!!!! aminah i’ve already told you i’ve sent you so many asks anonymously and i only recently found the courage and come off bc i feel really comfortable whenever i talk to you <33 literally the KINDEST soul in the entire world;; you might not answer asks quickly ALL the time but you always find a way to make time for the people who look up to you and honestly?? that inspires me to be a kinder more gentler person!! my FELLOW NURSING GAL working your lil BOOTY off, a queen really :’) and not to mention one of the most TALENTED mbb gif makers on the entire planet i’m not even stretching that i truly mean it angel <33 thank u for making me (and others ofc) feel incredibly appreciated, and thank you for being a blessing to mbb tumblr :D

@changkynie — sian angel!!!! you have been with me since the beginning of this blog it seems like!!! thank you for always being my secretive cheerleader on my blog, i really adore you for that! you are such a cutie and you ALWAYS make time to send in little messages to both me and our lil family on my blog!! it’s really the sweetest thing; you are truly SUCH blessing and i love waking up/falling asleep to your kind words <33 together forever bub i think <33

@tsunpan (idk which blog you’re comfortable w me tagging so i’ll just do this one dsjfsjdf)—RATCH!!!!!!! i know a lot of ppl on your blog don’t know your name (and oddly enough i’ve never asked either bc i thought u wanted to be secretive LMAO) but then you plugged your twitter @ a while ago and u said it had your name there HEHE SO!!!!!!! i’ll keep it private :) but HOLY CRAP!! my actual first moot on here :( like my FIRST first moot ever :( says i’ve been following you for 8 FREAKING MONTHS!!!!!!!! and wow look how far we’ve come <33 i know i don’t message u as often as a should but just know i cherish this friendship like my life depends on it skdfjlksdjf and thank you for always indulging me with you’re changkyun writings (shout OUT to safekeeping kyun UGH my heart) + also sharing my love for mr. park junhee + ALSO being my astrology guru WOW u really do it all <33 ;; every time i message you i’m always like wow i wish i were as carefree and funny as my gal !! love you to the moon and back dear, thank you for putting up with me 💘💗💖💓💞

@monpabebe —lastly but CERTAINLY not least is my dear RIKA!!!!! again i have this running theme of being scared of the ppl i love LMAO but yes rika i’ve been following you too for a very very long time (i have actually sent u some anonymous stuff too hehe) but i think i fINALLY revealed myself when u mentioned your height!! SHORTBEBES OUT HERE PROTECTING EACH OTHER <33 but on a serious note, you are amazing :( i’m so glad i came out of my shell to finally talk to you; thank you for supporting my work, it means the absolute WORLD to me and thank you for also being a backbone here on monbebe tumblr as well :) i love seeing your interactions with your anons, it always puts a smile on my face 💘💗💖💓💞 whether you're arguing about tomatoes, geeking over shownu, or just giving your opinion on everything monsta x related, i always look up to you 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i know i don’t really talk to you often (bc i’m still a lil intimidated IM SORRY skdfjksd) but i would love for our lil friendship to bloom in the future rika!! :)

#mädch rambles #musHY POST omg but :') i just love u all so much idk #idk if this is weird like im sorry if youre uncomfortable w this sort of thing but idk when i reached 400 it just hit me #like wow ppl appreciate my mediocre content + are growing with me :)#PHEW #my sweet MOOTS <33

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tylerwritez · 3 years ago

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TUESDAY JULY 13 10:42 A.M.

JUDE IS BACK FROM HIS HIATUS!!!!

One thing I think I will no longer be doing is writing down negative feelings and thoughts and... leaving them there. No. Next time I vent, I delete it right after.

If you want something to be sad over, you'll find something. But if you GENUINELY ATTEMPT to be happy, you will be.

So try harder.

Also, my new phone background is a collage thing of me and my friends at Rebecca's house.

I originally did it as this cool way to remember my besties XD but now it also kinda helps my #SelfEsteem because whenever I think my face is ugly, I look at my phone background and I'm like "that's what you look like, no filter, nothing" and it makes me happier because in that background image I just see a boy being stupid with his friends and I sorta smile like "yeah, that IS what I look like, no filter"

I like it cos, those pictures were taken without me doing anyhting to try and look better, so I KNOW that's like. How I REALLY look. And tbh? Not that bad.

I don't even really mind my smile lines anymore. Cos they're from SMILING!!! means I'm a happy guy.

ALSO I THINK I PASS IN MY BACKGROUND? because I'm that kinda of ugly that says "male" yk, especially next to my friends who are girls/nonbinary I just seem so Boy idk its gender... the photo set is very Gender for my face XDDD THIS IS REALLY STUPID

oh well. Positivity only now, babes.

Also! You may have noticed my HIATUs from posting!!! Yeah, I'll still post, and I'll update y'all on my life... but NOT DAILY... I don't really have the time for that.

I'll do it maybe whenever I feel like, but I'll try and stick to weekly, biweekly, idk, whenever I feel like I should talk about my life, whenever things happen.

Right now I'm actually on a roadtrip!!!

We just spent a day on all the amusement park rides at the Calgary Stampede!! It was AWESOME.

Also we have spent time in #nature and I'm COLLECTING! ROCKS! >:) THEY ARE WAY COOLER OUTSIDE MY HOMETOWN JUST SAYING...

Maybe I'll find a hagstone.

So far no, I've only found cool stripey ones but no hagstones.

Maybe I'm not meant to find a hagstone. Maybe whatever gives me my good luck is protection enough.

ACTUALLY, ON THAT NOTE, I HAVEN'T STOLEN ANYTHING FOR THIS WHOLE TRIP... SO LIKE 1 OR 2 WEEKS. WHICH IS CRAZY!!! PROUD OF MYSELF :)

ALSO I HAVEN'T CUT MYSELF FOR LIKE A MONTH MAYBE(?) WHICH IS SO WOW.

see? I can totally do this! You'll see.

Lately I haven't been stressing AT ALL. like. So much happiness and fun, out on my roadtripppp!

I have had a few stressors.... but like. I've done my best to push them aside, because I know it'll be better not to think about them.

Like, I'm starting to think all my unhappiness cOMES FROM THINKING ABOUT MY STRESSORS TOO MUCH... OVERTHINKING.

However, if I tell myself "don't worry, you'll find a way, you always do" and then try n forget, I'm so much happier.

Here are my current #stressors... since everyone loves some drama (I'm listing em)

1. I MIGHT LOSE MY VIRGINITY UHHHH AND IM NERVOUS AND IDK IF I SHOULD OR WHAT ITLL FEEL LIKE OR IF I SHOULD WAIT.... AAAAAAAA IDK ITS KINDA SCARY COS WHAT IF IT HURTS A LOT... WHAT IF IT FUCKS ME UP. IDK. I KNOW NOTHING.

2. MY STEALING + CUTTING ISSUES... LIKE. I'M ADDICTED???? AND OFC IM HAPPY I MANAGE TO GET BY WITHOUT IT BUT SOMETIMES ITS VERY HARD. TO RESIST. YOUR URGES.

man if that god guy is real I bet hes happy with me (or I guess god can be a girl, or nonbinary, or maybe is not male but still uses he/him, or maybe DOESNT use he him pronouns and we are fuckig it up???? Idk I will just say "he")

(I doubt god has a gender tho lol. He made man and woman in his image yeah? So then.... uh.... he would be intersex(?)

Personally I think god has No genitals at all and No gender either. But then again, I dont even believe in a god...)

ALL IM SAYING IS. IF GOD WAS REAL. THEY WOULD PROBABLY BE PLEASED THAT I AM. RESISTING SIN? SO WELL.

... cos cutting yourself IS a sin....

That used to upset me so much dude. I read this bible passage... and it would be CONSTANTLY referenced. Your body is a temple. Its sinful to harm your body. Its sinful to use drugs, is what they said at school, but like. What about other types of intentional harm? Sin. Sinful.

I used to be so invested in that Catholicism shit, man. And afterward, after I. Did the cutting. I'd be covered in half dried sticky blood. I'd smell the metallic smell so strongly.... because I bled out A LOT... its incredible to me honeslty, how such minor styros and occasional light fat cuts can gush out so MUCH blood. It's a lot. It's more than you'd expect from a little cut. The cuts pool up with blood and then overflow.

It trickles down your legs.

But I'd be patching myself up afterward (basically tryna clean the blood, stop the bleeding, make sure I didnt bleed out onto my sheets and dirty them in my sleep... make sure I didnt leave evidence) and I'd think to myself "this is a sin, I am a sinner..."

Ofc my stupid ass was constantly begging for forgiveness, praying, reading the bible, blah blah, please I just wanna serve you, please help me, please...

What a pathetic state to be in most of my junior high years HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD XDDDDD LMAOOOO LMFAOOOOOO ROFLLLLL

like. I had a corner of the school I used SPECIFICALLY to cry.

How sad...

BUT NOW IM IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!! AND I AM PLEASED TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE

0 CRYING SPOTS

MANY MAKING OUT SPOTS

like woah its almost like. I dont have to suffer at all.

I'm winning now.

W. What was I talking about before I started rambling. Idk. I forget. Oh well.

POSITIVITY ONLY BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ILL KEEP YALL UPDATED I SWEAR

SIGNING OFF,

JUDE SHEPARD

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jthebeauty · 3 years ago

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Jeeeeeeen! I saw that you said you were one the ace spectrum and I’m curious as to how you realize that? I’m questioning my own sexuality rn and a lot of info online is confusing to me LOL. You dont have to answer if you aren’t comfortable tho ofc!

hey nonnie :) ofc we can talk about it! i’m more than comfortable with sharing my story & experience. <3

cw: first kiss, kissing in general, sex talk, sti mention, children mentions, relationships. long post ahead.

growing up, i always naturally admired the romantic aspects in a relationship.

things like dates, breakfast-in-bed, writing love letters, holding hands, cooking meals together, taking silly photos together, (and all that other sappy stuff) really shaped what i desire in a relationship. fun fact; ever since i was 8 or so, i knew i wanted to spend my honeymoon in paris, france (the city of love they call it 😌).

i need to go back into my past a lil’ so you can see where i’m coming from & where it started. 😬 sorry if you get a lil’ uncomfy. 😭🙏🏽

so. i had my first kiss in kindergarten with a handsome guy; a handsome guy who i’d probably still be nervous around as adults. idk, i haven’t seen him in person since i was 14. anyways, i was five years old at the time & the memory of our kiss still runs in my mind here n there.

we liked each other again in grade 6 & we communicated via sticky notes (bc we couldn’t talk during the lesson). 😭 but yeah, he cared a lot about my feelings & always knew when something was up. he’d rub me on the back & talk with me to make me feel better— he was genuinely a sweetheart.

so at 11 years old, due to my “kiddy crush/relationship” experiences with that guy, i viewed relationships as something cute & romantic.

sex was never really on my mind throughout middle school unless it concerned p.e. (physical education). but if anything, p.e. most likely contributed to how i am today. in health class, we talked about sti’s n stuff & i just remember being like umm… if i were to have sex, it’d have to be with someone i know really well & trust. i still feel this way today.

all of that wasn’t planned though, that’s just how it naturally was in my mind— even with peers constantly discussing who did what with who and where around me. sex talk (& rumours of that kind of stuff) were always around me, yet it never interested me or sparked curiosity within me.

i didn’t know for sure that i was on the ace spectrum till high school.

i started speculating when i was about 15 or so (after i had kissed my best friend romantically… more than once). i was able to confirm this once i had my first serious relationship at 16– borderline 17.

i was always excited for the romantic stuff like dates, texting good morning/night messages, even taking polaroid pictures together (once again, sex or anything beyond kissing wasn’t really on my mind for some reason). we even used to call each other practically every day once school ended & we parted ways. real sappy stuff lol.

i also need to add that we didn’t date until we had known each other (as friends) for a good 9-10 months. i knew of my ex since grade 9, but we didn’t become friends until grade 10.

my ex isn’t the first person i have kissed romantically, but they were another person who i had kissed after having some sort of close friendship with (or else it wouldn’t have happened to begin with).

in conclusion, i was in a +2.5 year relationship with my ex. i take relationships seriously, as i’m not one to do flings, one-night stands, situationships, or hook-ups/sneaky links. they don’t interest me one bit & i honestly kinda forget those kind of things exist (i think mainly bc of the pandemic & i’m under the assumption that people aren’t going out as often as they used to).

looking over everything that i can recall from my life, i lowkey consider myself a hopeless romantic LOL. i often read erotic romance novels that revolve around forbidden romance, enemies-to-lovers & stuff of that nature. i was (& still am) obsessed with romance.

i can experience sexual attraction, i’m not completely disinterested in the idea of sex. i want to have kids one day & get married— it’s just a matter of who.

i came to the conclusion that i strongly identify as demisexual & graysexual. i bounce between the two bc i really can’t just pick one. and it’s more than okay if you find yourself in this situation too— you don’t have to pick one & stick to it.

when my ex & i were together, i did experience sexual attraction (bc we had an emotional connection/bond + romantic feelings), but the more we got settled into our relationship, the less those sexual feelings would pass in my mind. i’m the kind of lover that shows my love & affection by cuddling, talking, or helping my partner— stuff of that nature.

for me it was just a matter of thinking “would i do this with a stranger just because they’re attractive?” or “would i do a fwb situation with ____?” and the answer to those kind of questions would be no. i’m just not interested or appealed by the idea of doing things like that with someone who i’m not romantically AND emotionally involved with. the only way we’re doing that, is if we’re mutually romantically AND emotionally involved with each other.

i guess you could say that sex is something “special” to me as well. i just seriously can’t do it with anyone— not even if i find them attractive, it takes so much more than that. but on the other hand, i’m just more of a romantic person anyways.

irl sex is never really at the forefront of my mind & if it is, it’s gone within a few seconds of reflecting on it. in fact, i kind of cringe thinking on past sexual incidents with my ex… like my brain just won’t allow me to reminisce about them & i’m actually glad bc i just don’t feel like purposefully thinking about irl sex anyways. 😭

sorry for the long post! i just really wanted to be transparent with you. but the above is mainly why i see myself on the ace spectrum. it took me a good 4-5 years to come this realization, so i really do feel you nonnie.

if there’s anything you wanna know further, feel free to swing on by again or message me on discord (if you have me there). i really do wish you all the best in navigating your sexuality, it seriously can be reallyyy confusing (especially with the internet as you said).

sending kisses to you my love. take care. 😚❤️

#jen — answered. 💌#anon. 👤

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years ago

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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leoxxii · 4 years ago

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fic writer interview

tagged by - @frill-shark !! I WAS TAGGED IN JANUARY BUT I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO DO IT SO UM. OOPS AKDBKABRWJ

name - hi hello im leo!! i also go by hawk & spooky! hawk is my fursona's name and i used to use spooky a lot while playing among us and got attached to the nickname :o

fandoms - uhh usually i don't write for that many fandoms bc my hyperfixations come and go akbflabrkw but currently i write a lot of subnautica and warrior cats! i also used to write a bit of dbh but uh. my interest in that game dropped HARD i cant even force myself to play it let alone write it anymore so akrhkavrkwhr

where you post - just ao3 😔✊ i usually post links to my writings on tumblr but other than that yeah just a03 :o

most popular oneshot - a jerry-centric dbh thing i wrote like 3 years ago now? it has about 500 hits! its the oldest thing on my ao3 besides my warriors stuff and a03 is not a v popular source of warriors content akfnksbrowbr

most popular multi-chapter - my subnautica: survivors au! first thing since my wattpad days that ive felt genuinely happy with and im glad that other ppl enjoyed my niche little au so much!!

fics you were nervous to post - LITERALLY ALL OF THEM TBH. im always kinda nervous to post content but ive gotten a lot better at being less concerned with it recently! although if i had to choose one uneven odds brought me a lot of trouble bc its That specifically catered to myself. i rewrote it like 3 times just to try to get rid of all the embarrassing parts and i refuse to re-read at all KABDOABROABE

how do you choose your titles - i dont i just close my eyes and spin a roulette wheel and see what happens. FR THOUGH i dont rlly know i just kinda.. choose a phrase or word i like (survivors, the last warriors) or sometimes i use song lyrics (uneven odds, a world alone)

do you outline - yes but im awful at it sjfblavrowvriw. i write very VERY vague outlines that are half shitposty and completely useless as an outline to anybody except for me. i often stray wayyy off the outline too and the story almost always ends up no longer following the outline and i free-write by like half way through 😔✊

favorite story ive written so far - as i mentioned above, red survivors!! the entire series is currently at over 125k words altogether and its been so much fun to write and talk about with its readers. its the first multi-chap fic ive finished in YEARS and im so happy ive stuck with it bc it means so much to me, these characters and their world and interactions make me so emo all the time

complete - out of the 6 i have on a03, 4 are finished! granted 3 of those 4 are oneshots bc im typically not that good at finishing multi-chaptered ones. and this number only includes the fics ive finished enough to get a single chap at least out so um. LABDKABDKBA

in progress - i usually only work on 1 fic at a time so i don't forget about one over the other so im only rlly working on a world alone rn! i am planning a remake of my old warriors story so that's technically in progress ive just been really really slow with it,,, oops

coming soon - ok ok actually i have another subnautica themed thing planned where its like a collection of one-shots of characters on the aurora! i rlly want to further explore and expand the survivors au characters and ive been thinking of a few different scenarios that i could write about,,, might never get finished but im hoping to start writing it once awa is completed! sometime this year if all goes well 👀

prompts - i used to take prompts all the time omg, now i never rlly get any :( but i mean hey, ill try to do something for most prompts if anyone is interested… 👀👀

tagging - uhhh idk how many ppl i know are writers buttttt lets see um @ryttu3k @io-wall @stellar-starryy @flamefoxcat @warriorofkungfu !! no pressure to actually do this tho y'all!!!! i honestly have no idea if some of u write at all but ur all cool ass ppl so yeah!! thabk you for reading ilu all have a good day im embarressed over talking so much byeee !!!!

#i used to have a wattpad account but i havent used wattpad for like. 6 years now at least #i was thornthecat and i wrote almost exclusively fnaf content. likr so much fnaf. i had like 8 different fics going on at the same time and #i kept them all updated at least weekly #i wrote so much fucking fnaf and i cannot remember ANYTHING about all those fics #except one had a self-insert that showed up at like thr final chapter to say a couple lines #and i then immediantly get hit by a car and die #WHICH IS SO FUNNY IN HINDSIGHT WHY DID I DO MY SELF INSERT SO DIRTY AKRBSORBISBD #ANYWAYS YEAH FUN ASK GAME I LOVE THESE THINGS I JUST NEVER GET AROUND TO ACTUALLY DOING THEM #BC I FORGET SO EASILY 😔✊

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8makes1cheese · 4 years ago

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f2l with Song Mingi♡

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

RoommateAU, (and like High SchoolAU in the beginning and kinda CollegeAU?)

Tags: cursing, shitty attempts at comedy, fluff, kinda sorta suggestive?, ig drug use and drinking?(booze and weed)

Words: 2.5k

A/N: Okay so, this is my first bullet scenario thing? and its weird...like this is so weird but I tried XD it ended up this weird mix between bullet scenario and oneshot fic and i-

...............all I can do is practice and try to get better but yeah. SO HERES THIS :D (im srry don hate me T-T)

-Finding Your Best Friend-

this bb would be the best-est friend you would have in this world

probably why you fell for him in the first place, but let's not get to ahead of ourselves

you guys met freshman year of high school

your guys' mutual friend Yunho is really the reason why

you just moved to town, and since said town was small, it was clear to you that everybody knew everybody else

you felt pretty lonely on the first day because of that

second day of freshman year is where is all started to come together

you were looking for a nice spot to sit and have your lunch outside because you didn't want to look like the weird loner person eating by themselves in silence

you found a pretty spot under a big tree near the track field, you put a random cool cake making tutorial on your phone and ate your lunch

the video was at a part where they were placing intricate designs in frosting all over the cake when you hear "Whoa, that is so cool!"

you jump about 3 feet in the air and immediately gather up your phone and get up to spin around to see who interrupted your quiet time

a young man, not sure his grade, with peach colored hair and a worried expression on his face, raises his hands in a surrender pose

'okay but what the hell was he doing, watching my phone behind the tree?'

well reader, we'll never know

"I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to scare you that bad! Really, I am so so so sorry!"

you, still in shock, just nod at him

now you're both just standing in front of each other

not saying anything

....well

this is awkward

"I-I'm Yunho...by the way."

you clear your throat, not sure why, nervous habit

"[Y/N].."

"So, uh... Haven't seen you around here before.."

once you explained you were new, and new to the town in general. There was no escape.

you were now best friends with the giant teddy bear and there was nothing you could do about it

yunho immediately took you under his wing and showed you around the campus. Then the town itself after school was out.

but Ro this seems to be turning into a yunho x reader fic/ bullet scenario

stfu I'm getting there

what did this turn into even

so now you and Yunho are bffs

enter giant teddy bear 2.0

you and yunho are hanging out at lunch, it's become a usual for the past two weeks

and Yunhos other bff is becoming sus about why Yunho hasn't been eating with him at lunch or doesn't seem to have as much time after school for him

that's when giant teddy bear 2.0 (if you don't know that its Mingi then idek-) finds his bestie with some random chick

a really adorable random chick

"So this is where you have been?"

you and Yunho start, not expecting someone to find your guys' spot

Also, deja vu, amiright?

"Oh, hey Mingi!" Yunho greets the tall dirty blonde haired teddy bear

And you're totally not sitting there thinking, 'holy shit, he is...wow.'

and that's how it all started

he stayed and introduced himself and you hit it off just as well as you and yunho did

maybe even better..

he started showing up everyday, at the what was dubbed 'The Cool Kids Spot™️' by you all, with yunho

even tho we all know you guys were NOT the cool kids

then it went to him being at the spot before everyone showed up

so he could see you first

then it turned into him meeting you up after class so you both could grab your food together and meet up Yunho at The Spot™️

before you could even realize it, he became your person

you were the first person he ran up to and hugged after him and Yunhos dance group took home 1st place at a competition

he was the first person you called when you were told that your poem won an award

you were the person he'd come to if he needed any kind of advice

and he was the first person you went to if you needed to get out of your head or your anxiety was getting to you

the high school years went by so fast

a lot changed

but what never changed was Mingi, he may have grown

and damn he grew

but he was your constant (and yes, yunho too, we can't forget yunho bro)

-Knowing They're The One-

high school came and went

Mingi and Yunho were accepted by a prestigious performing arts school

you, however, were going to just a regular college

luckily, both schools weren't terribly far from each other

which is why, instead of suffering in dorms, you and Mingi decided to get a apartment together, not far from both schools

yunhos ass stayed with his parents because they live like right next to the school, lucky hoe

you all still make time for each other

but you and Mingi prefer to stay in, order takeout and watch random stuff on YouTube

whenever you or Mingi went out it was always together (unless it was classes)

Grocery shopping? Together. Doctors appointment? Together. Girls night? Together. Guys night? Together.

"So, you must be suffering right now" his friend Yeosang said to him on a rare guys night that didn't involve you.

Mingi looked at Yeosang perplexed, ignoring whatever Wooyoung was talking to him about

"What are you talking about?"

"You and [Y/N] are literally always together, the fact she isn't here surprises me."

Mingi laughed. "We're not always together."

A cacophony of "LIES" and "BULLSHIT" filled the air as all of Mingi friends called him out on his bullshit

Mingi could feel his face heating up

"W-well, so what if we are! Were best friends AND roommates."

"And lovers~" his friend San whispered in his ear from behind and laughed, dancing away before Mingi could hit him

"We're not together!" Mingi exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"But you want to be."

Mingi turned to look at the owner of the voice. It was Yunho, leaning against the entrance of the kitchen everyone was gathered in

He was looking at Mingi with a smirk

Mingi knew Yunho knew how he felt about you

and not because he told him

well...he kinda did

FLASHBACK TIME

it was your guys' high school graduation

more specifically, the night of, and you were all partying and yunhos house

celebrating the fact that you all were officially adults now

lol you thought

and what better way to celebrate that than with underage drinking

be safe kids, don't drink irresponsibly

and Mingi. Got. Wasted.

by the end of the night, he was crying (and maybe puked once or twice...) in Yunhos arms about how beautiful you were, and how amazing and talented you were

wouldn't shut up about how soft and perfect you feel in his arms when he hugs you or vice versa

"She is my soulmate." After every other sentence mentioning how perfect you are

but wait, where were you while Mingi was crying and puking you ask?

That night you met Yeonjun, who is now one of your closest friends

at first, a friend of Wooyoungs, who you all became friends with junior year, along with his best friend San

Yeonjun, who went to a different school across town, was invited along by Woo and San

you and Yeonjun hit it off so well, drinking and laughing, and talking about how much he loves his boyfriend Soobin, and maybe you drunkingly going on about how amazing Mingi is

however, Mingi didn't know Yeonjun

and what he saw that night was you, enjoying your time with someone who wasn’t him, laughing at jokes that weren't his, hanging all over someone who could never know you as well as he did (and that totally wasn't the reason that Mingi drank like 2 bottles of straight vodka, not at all)

and at that moment

he knew

he fucked up

he was in love with you

OKAY END OF FLASHBACK

Mingi wasn't sure what to say

he could deny it sure, but he knew it was useless

not after every person in the room gave him a knowing smirk after Yunhos comment

“She doesn't-”

“Oh, whatever. you guys are literally already a couple. And dont even try to deny that. If she was here right now, she’d probably be on your lap and you two would be sitting in some corner of the house whispering some weird drunk lovey shit to each other.”

well...

Mingi really didn't have a argument for that

that night he came home sober

but you didn't know that until months later when he told you he wasn't actually drunk

anyways when he got home you were sitting in the living room

music playing away on YouTube while you type away on your laptop

you didn't hear him come in, softly singing along to the song under your breath

he stood there for a moment and just..looked at you

your hair was a mess

you had on the same clothes as yesterday

probably haven't done a skincare routine in months

you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life

he felt so much love swell in his chest

hes known it for a while now but at that moment all that was going on in his head was

“That’s my soulmate. I love her. I love her so much.”

“Hey.”

he wasn't sure if he had said it loud enough but apparently he had because you flinched and turned to see who the ‘intruder’ was

“Oh, Mingi! Shit, you scared me...” you laughed. “How was guys night?”

He made his was over to sit on the couch as you told him how your paper was coming along and then waited for him to answer your question

he sat for a good minute not saying anything

“Mingi?”

he looked at you

“you okay hun?” you asked, placing your hand on his cheek

and then he kissed you

it was so quick, you had no time to register that it was happening at all

and he left just as quickly

slamming the door to his bedroom and leaving you flustered and panicked

-So....Lovers?-

the morning after the kiss was the most awkward moment that you and Mingi had ever had

luckily it didn't last long at all

you two were silent, awkwardly making breakfast

then Mingi busted out with “Man, I’m so hungover! I barely remember anything from last night!”

“Do...do you remember anything from when you came home?”

“No, to be honest, I don't even remember coming home...”

-cue forced laughter-

-cue Mingi not trying to be disappointed when you looked relieved-

he asked you if anything happened and tried not to feel sad about the fact you were going on about how nothing happened and he just came home and went to bed

why wouldn't you mention the kiss? maybe everyone had it wrong, you didn't feel the same. why else would you avoid it?

but everything went back to...normal

you two would cuddle every night on the couch

you showed up to every guys night like usual

(there may or may not have been more knowing smirks thrown Mingis way)

he showed up to the rare girls nights you'd have with your (like 2) girlfriends

(they literally just consisted of everyone chilling in some secluded spot and sparking up a blunt or two and bull-shittng)

but everything wasn't normal

because even though it lasted 0.0002 seconds long

Mingi cannot stop thinking about that kiss

neither can you for that matter

that's when you confided in your bestie Yeonjun

who knew all about your love for your other bestie

you went to Yeonjuns one Saturday afternoon without mingi

its been a month since the kiss and Yeonjun is only disappointed in the fact that you didn't tell him sooner

his solution was simple, just tell him how you feel

its so god damn obvious he feels the same

but who are you to do the simple thing right?

so what do you do?

you go with Soobins idea

and :) you:) go:) on:) a:) blind:) date:) with one of soobin and yeonjuns friends:)))))))

well

at least you were supposed to..

the night comes when you were supposed to meet at a nice cafe with their friend Beomgyu

you. were. lookin. FIRE BABY

slaayyyyy

you were in the kitchen grabbing your keys

and maybe prolonging the fact that your going out with someone who isn't MIngi

when Mingi walked out to heat himself up a noodle cup

and maybe one for you too because he didn't think you were going anywhere and was going to ask if you wanted to chill in his room and play mario kart

his jaw DROPPED when he saw you

he felt like he was just kicked in the gut, all breath left his lungs

and he may or may not have gotten an instant boner but-

he cleared his throat to get your attention

“You look...nice.” wow, Mingi, smooth

“O-oh, thanks, um... ill be back later okay?”

when Mingi asked where you'll be going and you said you had a blind date, he swears to this day he blacked out for a moment

next thing he knew he had you pushed against the counter

“Mingi-”

“No.”

“w-what..”

“You don't have a date.”

“But I do-”

then his lips were pressed against yours

and unlike the first, this one lasted a hell of a lot longer than 0.0002 seconds

it wasn't fireworks or butterflies or a sudden realization of unconditional love

it was rough and messy and filled with so many emotions including relief that your love for each other can finally blossom

you didn't say a word to each other when you parted

you stared at each other for a while, panting with big smiles on your faces

once your breathing returned to normal you gently pushed him back so you weren't pressed against the counter anymore

“I’m going to change in PJ's.”

Mingis smile lit up his whole face. “But I thought you had a date..”

“No, I don't.” you kissed his cheek and left to change.

-YES LOVERS FINALLY-

so you guys never really sat down and were like ‘hey so are we...?’

because you both knew you just....were

after that night you guys started acting like you had been dating for months

it was just like before

because of course, like always, Yunho was right

you guys already acted like you were dating

now kisses and a lot more were added to the mix

which just made everything 1000x better

everyone knew it was just a matter of time

you loved waking up to his arms wrapped around your waist and him softly snoring in your ear

he loved waking up to you peppering kisses all over his collar bones and neck

your loved bloomed♡

A/N pt2: Im sorry if the end seems so rushed as well, I started running out of steam and my mind blanked but I didn't want to prolong this and never post it...like i do with everything...

Thank you for reading!

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survivormetaverse · 3 years ago

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Episode 1 - "I know the game will pick up eventually" ~Shaad

chile lemme not get thrown out for making all these stan twitter bitch references I'M LICHERALLY HARMLESS I DON'T MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY DKJFHASJKLDG

ngl tho i'm kinda shitting myself over these challenges bc i don't wanna get tossed on the first round JKAHFSJKDGHJ my ant eye et tea is through the ROOF

oh girl, first impressions? ngl, the gays and girls here seem quite lovely, hopefully they won't have to carry me the entire time LMAO

Okay like the only person I like/talked to is Jodi but she seems like a smart cookie so ima sleep with one eye open. But idk I'm ready to put on my fake ass smile and my fake ass kind words and get through this part. It's interesting with 6 people per tribe like if we lose I don't have that solid "core" yet but theres a chance that it would be me, jodi, amy because we were the first three on and active so idk. the immunity challenge is cool, the hunt challenge is cool too. im not good at timed puzzles, so I don't think I'm gonna go for it but a part of me feels like everyone across the tribes isnt gonna do it becsuse theyre scared so thats a good opportunity to sneak in and play with less people against me? idk idk idk ahhh

🎶Oh my god we're back again🎶 Hey peeps!! :DDD Here I am againnnn, how fun! Tbh I forgot this was today lowkey and Dylan reminded me and I was like oop 😳 also I am so sorry to everyone that I cannot help but sprinkle the fact that we are now dating in all of my first convos bc IM VERY GAY apologies✨ for how often I'm mentioning it I mean 😂 My tribemates seems so cool, Jennifer and Babs are newbies but seem up to the challenge, Jay A and Colin already giving off immaculate vibes✨ Me and Dyl are hosting Ingary in a month and I do have like work and everything so I don't know exaclty how active I'll be in this game/ how far I'll make it but we'll see won't we!!

not me being a leader of whateva

it's the lack of reading comprehension for me (that was shade directed towards myself)

In the fools tribe !!! Moth is in my tribe which is good because we have played together before. The immunity challenge is divide and conquer! So I believe I will be doing the endurance one. I think I’ll be okay... and the hunt announcement is a good twist !!! I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the first one.. but I’ll probably change my mind. ANYWAYS, I’m ready to kick some ass

Hey guys it's me Brayden and I am so here. I'm so excited to be playing again and stuff and I have already predicted the future that I'll be the winner. Anyways I was at an award ceremony for like the first 3 hours of the game which is kind of scary bc I feel like I missed alot but I'm trying to talk to people and stuff and see what's going on. I've briefly talked to Jodi, Amy, and Ginnifer (who is so hard to talk to btw I like send her messages trying to start a real conversation and she will just respond being like same or something). Anyways the other 2 people on my tribe are offline rn so ig I missed my chance to talk to them tonight so I'll do that tomorrow. Anyways I signed up to do counting and I'm so excited bc I literally KILLED the counting challenge on Kyoshi Islands so I'm so excited to hopefully kill it again. I also decided to play the hunt challenge even though I only have 3 chances bc I'm hoping alot of people will be scared to use one of their three chances to play in the first round and I can have a better chance of winning it. But I think I'm bad at puzzles. I didn't think it through that hard I think I got excited to play a challenge but whatever I'll probably win the advantage then in a few weeks win the whole game anyways see u later.

SO its the morning after the premiere!! Everyone's settled in!! and I kinda don't know how to feel?? Overall the premiere was kinda quiet, nothing happened worth noting tbh. Everyone on the tribe showed up, so thats good, but i think we're all just feeling each other out at the moment as for the people on my tribe! everyone seems chill but also i can't put my finger on it but SOMEHOW this tribe radiates chaotic energy. I don't know HOW or WHY but I just know it DOES. The way we're interacting in the tribe chat it seems like there's a very wide range of personalities and vibes. They're either gonna complement each other or clash, and I guess we're just gonna have to wait to find out which one!!! here are my quick night 1 first impressions that no one asked for :) Anastasia - she showed up kinda late bc she had life happening, understandable. BUT she kinda just jumped right in and started vibing with everyone!! so I think she's gonna be a strong social player. I talked to her and she seems really funny, I think I might really get close with her if I'm able to talk to her more Babs - IF our tribe does end up being chaotic, it's going to be because of Babs. They're definitely the most talkative and prominent person on the tribe, but I think they might come off as messy to others. they're really funny though!! so again I can see myself wanting to work with them if I can get to know them more. They are the biggest question mark on the tribe for me currently Elle - AH. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. Within minutes of us talking they mentioned Dylan and then I found out that they're DATING and I was SCREECHING. cutest shit i've ever heard. I'm so excited to meet and play with them. Dylan is one of my fave people in the org community so ofc I wanna get to know Elle and connect with them as well!! Jay - I think Jay seems like just a very genuine open person?? Like we talked for quite a while yesterday just about games and he was asking me questions about my experience with them and all that. idk if it's because he sees me as a threat or if its because he just actually wanted to get to know me. He lowkey gives me heterosexual vibes and idk if thats true or not but idk how to bring it up. but I def wanna keep talking to him and getting to know him!! I think he might be someone I can form a genuine friendship with Jennifer - kinda have no opinion so far. I think shes the quietest on the tribe. at least for me I didn't get the chance to hear from her much. kinda gives catfish vibes. kinda gives early boot vibes. idk. we'll see what happens!

Not too much yet tbh. Just finding my footing. People are loving my energy so hopefully they’ll keep me around

So i realized Amy is runner up from the season before mine in another org and so we connected over that... of course we are not going to tell anyone else but we did have that going for us to get started. brayden is only 16 but he told me he loves magic and wanted to learn more about it so i told him id teach him some stuff! dennis and i called and connected well BUT hes kinda playing SUPER hard and wanting to throw challenges already to vote people out.. this has never worked out for anybody!! josh is cool, he works at a grocery store so he's gonna kill the "b" challenge. ginnifer has been the most MIA but i have faith that we'll work together well for the popularity contest. yall know i cant play the reverse flirt game i so badly want to coin, but i do have romance tea for yall tomorrow. stay tuned........

Jay and I talked last night so i guess we're best friends. We decided to make an alliance and try to get Elle in it. But everyone has been pretty inactive besides Jay and Collin. I've only slightly talked to Jessica this whole game and Babs hasn't even said one thing to me and I texted them hi. And apperently Babs has left Jay on opened too so they might just suck at talking right now. Hopefully Babs will talk to me they seem so funny and cool D:

I won endurance 👑!!!! Hopefully the fools tribe wins this!!!! I played against Jennifer and Dennis. I could see myself playing with Dennis down the line if we merge. I haven’t talked to anyone but Moth. So I messaged my whole tribe Introducing myself. Hopefully things work out for me!

Thoughts after the first 24hrs: https://youtu.be/I62bDSzgf68

You hear something ??? Same. Why is my tribe so quiet 😂😂😂😂 I’m trying to read off the vibes but I see nothing.

I really love my tribe and the fact that they don’t know I played last season is a good strategy to play on my end

tbh i wish we lost i wanted to go to tribal and vote one of these people out :(

Welp we got second place in the first challenge :| which isn't bad!! But it's not first place 😂😂. But I had a fun day taking pictures so whateverssss. I said I would be chaotic in this game but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet... Guess we'll have to wait and see✨

I think at this point, my team is shady and won't say anything to me so I am nervous.

The challenges were way harder than I thought. I didn't do well at all and let my tribe down. I feel like I will be the first to get voted out if we have a tribal hearing.

We lost yay. I had a feeling. Hopefully the tribe will keep me around for now since I won endurance.... lhsisowjshwowpwpwheowowhfiwpqpqpjw. Jared thinks we can vote Bri out. Which I’m fine with, I haven’t really talked to her at all. Jared and I are going to message the others and see where everyone’s head is at. Honestly I don’t care who goes home as long as I’m safe. Everyone is quiet which is so annoying. Blahhhhhhhhhh

Well it’s my 3rd time playing and it’s not off to the best start, no one seems to be talking to anyone. And we lost meaning we are going to tribal council. So fuck- I have no idea what about to happen. I’m just hoping it’s not me or Jess

if i must confess, my strategy is to have a 4-3-2 alliance. i need a 4 to have a majority, but i dont have a 4 yet. within the 4, theres a three person alliance w me jodi and amy, but within that three i believe that the core 2 is myself and jodi. i really dont care who the 4th is. i like having jodi and amy as an alliance because theyre both doing wayy too much which is great for me :) i dont think any of these people have idols but who knows. i would love to throw the next immunity i wanna go to tribal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we’ve got something good. We’ve got an alliance that’s set to (hopefully) vote out bri due to inactivity. Let’s just pray it works

Trying to talk in this tribe is so difficult In both my other seasons I was pretty quiet all the time It is like that x10000 I was hoping to stay under the radar but that doesn’t work if no one talks at all I suppose it depends on if I’m being played or if everyone just doesn’t talk. I think there’s a plan. Let’s hope it goes well

OKAY SO. Moth, Jared and I have a little alliance going on. We are set on voting out Bri. I just talked to Danny and Shaad and they are down with voting Bri out. I have high hopes that I’ll be safe at tribal.

Better communication.. in sticking with that fact, our communication in my team could be better and we need to put more effort into what we do, I believe in us!

https://youtu.be/595h7hmL6VY

The start to this game has been a freaking snails pace...it’s unbelievable to me that these people do not want to talk that much, especially when it’s a tribe of 6. Colin and I talk the most, I’ve gotten a decent amount out of Anastasia, and to me it feels like those 2 wants to work with me and I am fine with working with them. Usually in a larger group you want to figure out who you can work with long term and use the first few tribals to establish trust, I may throw that out the window since there’s only 5 other people on this tribe. My strategy needs to be who the hell can get me past these first few votes before a swap happens, and I feel like I can rely on Colin and Anastasia for that. I’d like to pull in Elle, because she’s the one who’s talked to me the most out of her, Babs, and Jennifer. Everyone seems nice, but it would be lovely if people would be more active.

I’m enjoying the fact our tribe won the first challenge everyone is very nice I love it :)

This round has been pretty smooth sailing. I know the game will pick up eventually but for now, we are just going with the flow as a tribe

https://youtu.be/UZVzZ6d6GRU

ok so apparently ginnifer isn't famous. she's just a bit quiet and mysterious. ok with me, just gonna take a while because I'm a loud and outspoken person (and player). amy, dennis and I have an alliance called "fang gang" (it's really just 3 emojis of vampires) and we're going to run the premerge hopefully. I do like brayden a lot, and maybe I'll propose a 3 with him, amy and myself to have a solid 4 control the votes until a swap. round 1 not bad so far!

~~~

Edgics:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: I believe Jodi is thriving on this tribe. She is very obviously a social player who picks up on the littlest details. I’m sure she can sniff out a plot if it comes down to it. However, Jodi is the plot. She is the leader of her tribe and is easily the most active person in the game at the moment. So long as she keeps a smile on her face and doesn’t overextend to do something messy, she will find that she will make it safely to merge. Allying with Amy could be dangerous however since Amy has stated she needs to be voted out before a certain date. This means that Jodi needs to socialize with other members of her tribe and get new allies before hers will inevitably be voted out of the game.

Amy: Even though she wants to get voted out, Amy has set herself up perfectly at Jodi’s side. She can take the heat off of herself using Jodi and is able to hide better than others. As always, her UTR game has come out to shine. She hasn’t had anyone call her out and even though Jodi has seen her play she is still able to gain her trust.

Josh: Doing so well in the challenge has earned Josh’s place here. He makes his worth known early and has a great personality as well. This makes him very safe for any early tribal councils as no one is going to want to take him out; they want him on their side. Similar to Amy, he just seems to be using an under the radar social game which he is executing well at the present moment. And, as the star of the challenge, he makes himself safe for future tribals before the swap. However, I do fear that this early impression of competition prowess will come back to haunt him if he makes it to the merge.

Dennis: I would put Dennis higher, but Jodi, his ally, already is suspicious of him. She seems to think of him as a bit of a sneak and, as the tribe leader, her opinions matter the most. It is good that he is able to be Jodi’s ally so she might stray away from voting him out. However, his desire to go to tribal and play the game so early may bite him in the butt later down the line. I can definitely see him being called out for trying to play too hard too fast. At the moment, he remains high because he seems to be decently social and no one except Jodi has sniffed him out.

Brayden: There’s not much to say on Brayden’s game. He doesn’t seem to have any allies, his challenge performance wasn’t as good as others on his tribe, and he is not in any alliances yet. This spells disaster for Brayden if his tribe goes to consecutive tribal councils. Additionally, even though he was one of the few to play in the Hunt, he didn’t win and wasn’t even close to doing so. He even gave up part way through to do the immunity challenge. I would be saving them if I were Brayden, but hindsight is 20/20. If Brayden can squeeze into being the fourth of the Jodi, Amy, Dennis alliance instead of Josh then maybe his game forecast will be better.

Ginnifer: The thing that lands Ginnifer on the bottom is that she said that her tribe could vote her out if they lost the challenge. This primes people to already be willing to get rid of her in this game. Additionally, some people have expressed difficulty with talking to Ginny such as Jodi and Amy. The former still wants to give Ginny a try at being an ally while the latter was ready to vote her out if necessary. Ginny just needs to pick up social steam and outperform in the next comp if she’s going to have longevity in this game.

Fools

Jessica: In lieu of a clear leader, Jessica has stepped up as she started the first alliance on her tribe with Moth and Jared. No doubt, Jessica’s prior relationship with Moth helped facilitate. Additionally, this seems to paint them as the “active” members of this not active tribe. Therefore, it will be very easy for Jessica to dictate votes without getting labelled as a threat since her tribe is not active enough to do so. I can definitely see her leaning on Moth as a crutch, but for now she is the topdog of her tribe. Especially so since she was the only member of her tribe to win a challenge in Divide and Conquer.

Moth: As Jessica’s right-hand person, Moth is a secure spot. It also helped that they have played this game before and is on a not active tribe. This vibes well with Moth’s gameplay style since they aren’t a social powerhouse like Jodi or Colin. Instead, she keeps it more lowkey which makes this tribe in particular a great tribe for her to thrive in.

Jared: While he hasn’t provided a confessional yet, it’s clear he’s positioned himself well with Moth and Jessica. As the topdogs of the tribe, they are key people to get in with. Besides that, he seems to be a little more active than some others, but there’s not much else to say as of right now.

Danny/Shaad: Him and Shaad can trade spots on this ranking because they are playing similar games at the moment. They are both quiet and inactive, yet are not part of the core alliance of this tribe. This could spell danger for them in upcoming tribal councils if they don’t start working on people now. They seem to be safe for now based solely on Bri’s inactivity, but, otherwise, they need to pick up their socio-strategic game before it is too late.

Bri: She seems to be the most likely person to get voted out. She was not online at all for the first two days of the game and has since remained inactive. She is easy pickings for the top 3 of this tribe which really hurts my heart. I know her in real life and she is very sociable and easy to get along with. I have no doubt that in a real life game of Survivor or Big Brother, she would kill the social game.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: Similar to Jodi, Colin is the most social person on his tribe at the moment. However, unlike Jodi, he has not taken a leader position which works to his benefit. Despite being social, Colin has been able to slip under the radar of most people with a lot of them wanting to work with him. Colin is easily going to survive until the swap, but I will caution him from getting too many allies too quickly. This tribe in particular has a wildcard willing to blow things like that up so he needs to be careful.

Elle: Similar to her previous games, Elle plays an extraordinary social game and becomes very well-liked very easily. They have no problem fitting into any situation and I foresee them making it far if they gain the right allies. What puts her at number 2 as opposed to number 1 is that she hasn’t made any strategic comments yet. Instead, she is focusing on a social game which is not a bad thing. Colin has just shown more of his gameplay in these rounds.

Anastasia: Anastasia, despite being late to the premiere, has been able to socialize with key people such as Colin and Jay. Her prior connection with Elle has also sparked an interest in Colin in working with the two of them as an alliance. Overall, her and Elle sort of share the 2 and 3 spot since they are both well-liked, did well in the challenge, and are prime allies for Colin whose word will feel like law if this tribe ever goes to tribal.

Jay: Jay is neither here nor there. He isn’t in the bottom, but he is not calling the shots either. It is good that Colin wants him as his number 1 and that Anastasia likes him. Out of the three outside of this potential Elle, Colin, Anastasia alliance, he seems like he will be most likely to be saved until a swap occurs. His calls with people have certainly been helping with that as people are able to bond more with him through there. His activity could use work, but he doesn’t need to be active if he’s liked.

Babs: With another Jodi comparison, Babs has taken the leadership position of their tribe. However, they are not as social and, in fact, considered a big threat since they are so willing to talk freely and openly in the tribe chat. Their gameplay is going to be Messy, and people have already pointed that out, making them a clear target if this tribe goes to tribal council. Despite that, they aren’t at the bottom since some people, like Colin, have expressed interest in working with that kind of player as a sort of shield. If Babs were to tone it down and be more social with people (another problem with their game), they may be able to crawl up these rankings.

Jennifer: Sadly I have to put another phonetic Jennifer at the bottom. She did the worst in the challenge across her tribe and isn’t active either. For this round, it seems she would be the easy vote if this tribe had gone to tribal. She needs to start being more social and be more of a presence in people’s minds.

#episode #episodes

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