#I am feeling Very Nornal

[freakova]

Me: hmmm maybe lll download stray or do more chaos shuffle

Klowns: my water broke

Just had the biggest jumpscare of my life

[asgards-princess-of-mischief]

Last Updated: 2024-03-13

Disclaimer: I am not the author of these stories, just sharing my favourite Spencer Reid stories. Find the authors' links below. If you want your work removed, message me privately.

Legend: ���E〕 ⇢ Erotic/Steamy | 〔F〕 ⇢ Fluff | 〔A〕 ⇢ Angst/Hurt 〔M〕 ⇢ Minor Angst/Hurt | 〔C〕 ⇢ Comfort | ♥︎ ⇢ Established Relationship | 𑁍 ⇢ Pregnancy/Children | 🚫 ⇢ Content Warning

✑ Appalachian by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 •

Summary: "[You're] tired of Spencer purposefully pushing [your] buttons and demands an explanation."

✑ Are You Sure About That? by give-me-a-moose • 〔F〕 •

Summary: "Spencer Reid is your best friend in the entire world. Best friends totally spend every weekend together, and walk around holding hands, and cuddling [during] movie night, right?"

✑ Bad at Your Jobs by generallynerdy • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "[Everyone] thinks you and Spencer would be… adorable together…, the two of you act as though you're a… couple already! You buy each other meals and coffee, [practically] live at each other's desks, give each other dorky pet names, and the team can't take it anymore. [However,]... something [is] off. Is Garcia just paranoid or is there something they're missing?"

✑ Bedtime Stories on the Jet by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 •

Summary: "You and Spencer [end up] accidentally [cuddling] on the jet."

✑ Better Hold Your Breathe by nikoruistyping • 〔F᜶C〕 •

Summary: "You had hoped to have a nice, normal morning [unfortunately you job at the BAU is anything but nornal and] next thing you know you end up locked in the Evidence Room with none other than Spencer, [whose on the verge of a panic attack]"

✑ Call It What You Want by alltooreid • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "[Everyone's] trying to discover the true nature of [your] & Spencer's relationship. Little do they know [you're] trying to [do] the exact same thing."

✑ Cupid and Psyche by imagining-in-the-margins • 18+ • 〔A᜶C〕 • 🚫 •

Summary: "[You] and Spencer get kidnapped by a rather romantic matchmaking unsub who demands [you] perform for him."

✑ Even if it Leads Nowhere by imaginesbymonika • 〔A〕 •

Summary: "The hatred [you] and Spencer feel for one another covers up something that runs even deeper."

✑ Fairytales by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: "Spencer comes home to his very tired wife and even more tired child who refused to go to bed without a bedtime story from their dad."

✑ Fever Dream by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 •

Summary: "[You make] an accidental confession, which starts the most intense game of hide and seek."

✑ Four in Hand by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 •

Summary: Late for one of Rossi's events, Spencer request your help putting on his tie.

✑ Jazz and Jealousy by imagining-in-the-margins • 18+ • 〔E᜶F〕 •

Summary: "on a visit [to] New Orleans, Ethan takes a liking [to you,] Spencer's crush. Spencer is not thrilled"

✑ Kiss My Face and We're Both Drunk by samuel-de-champagne-problems • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "Who would have figured that a normally serious genius with an eidetic memory would be a silly, forgetful drunk."

✑ Locked In by give-me-a-moose • 〔F〕 •

Summary: "Garcia and Morgan have had enough of you and Spencer pining for eachother without doing anything about it. So, they come up with a plan."

✑ Obsession by frost-queen • 〔A᜶C〕 • ♥︎ •🚫•

Summary: As a beloved actress, you're used to having many over-eager fans, but when a man kidnaps you, all you can do is wait for your fiancé to come rescue you.

✑ Practice Run by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔M᜶F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: "Spencer and [you] take on Derek's challenge to babysit."

✑ Professor's Wife, the by thatstrawberrygirl • 18+ • 〔E᜶F〕 • ♥︎ •

Summary: "In which [you show] up at Spencer's job to drop off lunch, but he was hungry for something else."

✑ Protective Custody by give-me-a-moose • 〔-〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Soulmates by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 •

Summary: "Spencer comes to a conclusion during a late night with [you]."

✑ Thermal Energy by imagining-in-the-margins • 18+ • 〔E᜶F〕 •

Summary: "[You] and Spencer have to simulate sex. Things get a little heated."

✑ They Will Never by aperrywilliams • 〔C〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

Summary: "[You get] jealous during [an event] at [your] daughter's school, [where] the other moms [won't] stop hitting on [Spencer]."

✑ A Little Family by chrisevansleftpeck • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Are You Blushing? by give-me-a-moose • 〔F〕 •

✑ Anticipation by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Book-ish by inkedobsidian • 〔F〕 •

✑ Darling by radiant-reid • 〔F〕 •

✑ Do Not Enter by chrisevansleftpeck • 〔F〕 •

✑ Family Snuggles by chrisevansleftpeck • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

✑ Fast Car by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ First Day by chrisevansleftpeck • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

✑ I've Never Been In Love Before by give-me-a-moose • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ I Want One by talaok • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ • 𑁍 •

✑ Mermaid by generallynerdy • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ One More Minute by give-me-a-moose • 〔C〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Only Exception by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 •

✑ Only Yours by talaok • 〔A〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Patch Me Up? Always. by weird-is-life • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Screen by imagining-in-the-margins • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Sleep Cuddling by speedreiding • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Whistle by chrisevansleftpeck • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Dating Spencer Would Include… by mylittlefandomfanfictions • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

✑ Drunk Spencer by give-me-a-moose • 〔F〕 • ♥︎ •

See Also: Navigation || Spencer Reid Master Index

Authors: @alltooreid || @aperrywilliams || @chrisevansleftpeck || @frost-queen || @generallynerdy || @give-me-a-moose || @imaginesbymonika || @imagining-in-the-margins || @inkedobsidian || @nikoruistyping || @radiant-reid || @samuel-de-champagne-problems || @speedreiding || @talaok || @thatgirlstrawberry || @weird-is-life ||

[gender-mailman]

i am so normal about craig i swear /silly

I feel like its very normal to feel nornal about your own ocs <- is super nornal about ethan yan!mailman /silly

[4n0r3t1cb0y]

Does anyone else just genuinly dont know what they look like like everytine i look at the mirror i get very different impressions on just how fat i am and i try to use objectibe things to measure but the more i try the kess i know whats fat and whats skibby how does a nornal person even look like i feel like im going insane

[g0om]

im nornal abt money but i am in a busstop and randomly thought abt once on a vacation we were ar a panzió where u paid for the coffee ar the very end and i drank a presso every morning and now i feel bad that my parents spent money on that this was in 2018 btw

[imeverywoman420]

Honestly that makes sense bc I only really like dynamics with women so I’m like maybe they’re lesbionic. A lot to unravel though bc I haven’t watched Hannibal in many years. Watching season 2 now. How is Hannibal a woman/what’s he like when he’s in love? Will just tried to get that guy to kill Hannibal what do u think that did to Hannibal in his brain. Ignore if u want but I think u like to talk about this, I like ur thoughts on it as well bc u don’t have fandom brain but u still r having fun with Hannibal I believe while also taking it seriously

Ive been waiting fornmy vibe to be right to answer this question. Sorry i talk like jordan peterson when im passionate abt something and im on downers rn so this might not make as much sense as my stimulant addled schizoposting nornally does

My reasoning for hannibal being a woman lies in the way his attraction to will is presented. Its gay in the way that theyre both men. But hannibals attraction to will spiritually is very much womanly.

The whole “hes a sensitive psychopath” thing about hannibal…. His whole entire character arc is womanhood. Being forced by a group of nazi soldiers (ok i forgot if it was nazis or russian soldiers idk it was ww2 its not important) to EAT his sister. It very much gives “not like other girls” in the way that its easy to feel as an Othered woman that you simply are unworthy of love. Its deeper than not liking pink. It is separating yourself from the concepts of femininity in a jungian/energetic way not a gender way like love, softness, empathy etc. women early on are taught to consume love, that we cannot coexist with lovable people. Fighting and clinging for love we are not guaranteed. Unlike men, who are taught that love is just a consequence of being a good enough person.

Compare hannibal lecter to joe from you. Hannibals entire character arc is this push and pull. This testing of people in a very bpd female way. Never once is he outright aggressive. Hes passive aggressive, petty, dramatic, all in a very FEMININE way. Most casual viewers mistake this as run of the mill psycho moid behavior. This is not to say that femininity is indicative of womanhood, just pointing out that hannibals thought process and entire essence is really only understandable if you consider female socialization.

Hannibal lecter is the weird girl on the playground. He is the girl that collects the used condoms of her lovers and sorts them in boxes labelled by zodiac signs. He is the girl that googles “help am i a psychopath” while crying.

And god. The way he looks at will. Its so girlish. That is not a man that wants to fuck, that is a man that wants to be fucked. Mads impish charm rly seals the hannibal lecter is a woman theory. Like if hannibal lecter was a real person he would logically have to be a woman. Theres no way a man could ever be that complex and emotionally sensitive and violent at the same time.

Hannibal Lecter has more in common with jennifer check than norman bates. And im not just talking cannibalism.

[im-only-joking]

Okay so with the thoughts of bratty sub mat, wrecked mat, and like Marty teaching mat to fight in mine and @ladyeggplant s minds, I give you this absolute filth with more feelings than i thought it would have. Marty, mat, and beau threesome, with very much mat x beau relationship going on in the background.

Warnings: cumplay, dom/sub relationships, pain play, nipple play, daddy kink. If i’ve missed anything lmk and I'll tag it/ edit the warnings. As much as i love sydney, lets just pretend for the sake of not involving any cheating, that Marty and syd never existed.

"C'mon Barz, try and pin me."

Matt knew he should've seen this coming a mile away, what with Barzy's shy grins, and his dark eyes twinkling with mirth as they roughhoused. It wasn't exactly, like, a hardship, though. Just, could've been foreseen.

Mat was grinning ear-to-ear, trying to get a better grip on Marty as they grappled, practice winding down behind them.

"How the fuck are you 'sposed to get em to the ice?" Barz asked, giggling, as he adjusted his fist in Marty's jersey.

"Like this."

With a grunt, Barzy landed on his back, still fisting Marty's jersey like a lifeline as the older man laughed over him.

"You're too pretty to get punched, Barz, but here's some advice for when you get into a scrap on the ice," Marty winked, "Let me handle it."

Mat flushed and rolled his eyes, shoving Marty off him as he carefully got to his skates.

"Lame," Barz huffed. "Busted lips are hot."

Marty raised a brow. "Yeah? Ya think so?"

He let Barz think about the implication of his statement, realization dawning on the younger's face, his face turning even brighter with embarrassment as he ducked his head

"Hey man, they are, don't shame me."

Marty laid a hand on Mat's shoulder. "Not shaming you, just making sure you're saying what I think you are."

Barzy looked up through his dark lashes, lips bitten red, and grinned sheepishly. "I am. I want- I need-"

"I can tell you need it," Marty chuckled, running his fingers through Mat's hair in a way that could be seen by the other guys as 'ruffling', but was really just an excuse to tug the younger boy's hair, his helmet having been tossed to the ice before they'd play-fought. "You wanna come by after lunch? I know you nornally go out with Beau, so don't miss out on that. But come over after, and I'll give you what you want."

Mat's breath caught in his throat as Marty skated off for the dressing room.

"He teaching you some tricks, eh?" Beau's voice snapped Mat out of his trance, and he almost yelped.

"Huh? What do you mean?" God, Mat hoped Beau hadn't heard that conversation.

"You two looked like you were having a scrap?" Beau questioned, looking confused at Mat's panicked tone. "Dude, you good?"

"I think Marty just invited me over to his place to get fucked by him," Mat blurted out, clapping a hand over his mouth after the word-vomit had already done its damage.

Beau looked shocked, then even more confused, then impressed. "Well shit dude, get some. I mean, I know you know this, but just be careful it doesn't mess with the team dynamic, but otherwise... That's kinda hot."

"Wait... What?" Mat frowned.

Beau laughed, winding an arm around Mat's neck as he dragged him towards the locker room. "Marty's hot, dude, and like, I dunno... I've always thought about getting dominated by him. Seems like he'd be into that sorta thing."

Mat knew his face was probably fire engine red at this point. "Do you think he'd do that? Just take control and... Do what he wanted with us?"

Beau scoffed. "Well, I guess you'll find out? I'm not coming with you."

"Why not?" Mat asked, quickly stripping off his sweaty gear before wrapping a towel around himself to head to the showers. "You wanna right?"

"I've... Thought about him, yeah."

"And I'm pretty nervous, so... Buddy system."

Beau cackled. "I'm pretty certain we wouldn't be considered 'buddies' at that point, Barz. That's technically grounds for a threesome."

Mat bit his lip, letting Beau walk off to shower as he did the same, thinking over everything Beau had just said. And came to a pretty solid conclusion.

"I've always been interested in you, I've just never said anything cause I didn't think you were into dudes. Or that you'd ever be into me," Mat mumbled through a mouthful of salad that Beau had bullied him into getting at their usual lunch place.

Beau's mouth dropped open and Mat got a good look at half-chewed chicken parm.

"Ew, man," he grouched, shielding his eyes. "Chew and swallow."

Beau chewed thoroughly and swallowed before speaking. "You mean to say that you've found me attractive since, when, Barz, since like a year ago, a few years ago?"

Mat played with his fork, avoiding answering until said fork fell on the fucking ground, eliminating his distraction.

"I think, like, probably since the World Juniors where you broke your arm?"

Beau narrowed his eyes and leaned across the table. "You motherfucker."

Mat winced.

"I have spent fucking ages trying to get over you, thinking you couldn't possibly be interested in me, cause you're... Well... You. And now you're saying all this time I've been wallowing in self pity, we could've been fucking?"

Mat winced again, clearing his throat. "I'd like to think that we could've been dating, but, uh, yeah."

Beau's eyes narrowed even more. "You absolute sonofabitch. No, sorry, I love your mom, don't tell her I called you that. I just don't understand!"

"I'm sorry?" Mat grumbled, a little peeved. "I was just... Preoccupied with other elements of my life that I didn't really think about my feelings. Well. Those feelings."

"No I mean, I get that, I just don't understand why me?"

Mat's head snapped up at Beau's comment.

"What the fuck do you mean why you? Have you looked in a mirror, dude? You've got these, like, super blue eyes, and I can't look away from your lips when you talk, and your body is ridiculous dude, have you seen your tits?"

"They're not-!" Beau started to protest, amused, but Mat cut him off.

"And like, not even just your body, like your whole personality, man. Your laugh is super contagious, it's like you just brighten up every room you walk in, and you're good at cheering me up when I'm being a moody asshole, and when we talk I always feel like you... Totally hear me." Mat trailed off as he noticed Beau's eyes on him, staring fondly. "You're my favorite person."

Beau ducked his chin to his chest, grinning wildly. "You're my favorite person, too, Barz. But if you say anything else, I will start to get weepy, and I really don't wanna do that in public."

Mat laughed, leaning back in his seat. "Alright I'll stop. On one condition."

Beau cocked an eyebrow. "And that is?"

Mat grinned slyly. "You join me at Marty's when we're done eating."

"Fuck," Beau groaned, pupils lust-blown at just the thought. "Yeah, okay. Let him know we're both coming, though. No surprises."

Mat's thumbs tapped his phone screen quickly as he shot off a message to Marty.

"Done."

"And now we wait for his response," Beau stated.

Mat stole Beau's fork and shoveled another bite of probably-too-much-salad into his mouth.

His phone vibrated, almost rattling its way off the table edge before Mat nabbed it and anxiously looked at the screen.

"He says 'the more the merrier'," Mat sighed in relief. "He added a winky face too. Figured that was kinda implied. Oh, and he sent a pictu- OH MY GOD."

Mat blushed and locked his phone.

Beau snorted and snagged it off the table, unlocking it with the ease of a knowing best friend, and widened his eyes.

"Fuck, this'll be fun."

Twenty minutes later found the two of them at Marty's very classy flat. Classy meaning it had a doorman and lots of potted plants, instead of the ability for strangers to just walk right up to your door and murder you when you answered the door at Mat and Beau's apartment complex.

Marty answered the door a few moments after Mat had knocked; long enough of a pause to seem casual and collected as Marty always was, and therefore long enough of a pause for Mat to start anxiously wondering if this was a stupid idea.

"Hey boys, glad you could both make it," Marty grinned, gently coaxing them into the apartment and closed the door behind them. "I was gonna have a beer, did either of you want one?"

Beau shrugged. "Sure".

Mat envied the easiness and comfort he exuded even in unfamiliar territory.

"Thanks, Marty, sure." Mat replied. His voice cracked. Beau's hand brushed his back, leading him to sit on the couch, where he began tapping his foot nervously as Marty grabbed the three beers.

Beau's hand paused Mat's knee, and he looked up at his friend's blue eyes.

"You okay?" Beau asked, smile soft and brows downturned in concern.

Mat bit his lip and nodded vigorously.

"You really just need to be pinned down, huh?" Marty laughed, not unkindly, as he returned. He passed Beau and Barz their beers before taking a long sip of his own. "You wanna tell us more about what you need, bud?"

Beau's hand prevented Mat from bouncing his leg as he tried to answer.

"I want-" Mat broke off, blinking quickly and huffing a frustrated sigh. "I don't know what I want."

"You want me to tell you what to do?" Marty asked. "Would that help? Giving you instructions to follow?"

Mat looked up, catching Marty's eye for the first time since they got there.

"Please," he whispered.

"And Beau?"Marty turned to the other boy. "What is it you want from me?"

"I just wanna have some fun. Get a little roughed up, maybe," Beau chuckled, tipping back his head to polish off his beer quickly.

Marty smiled, and spread his legs in the leather loveseat he was currently occupying. "C'mere then boys, on your knees for me."

Mat dropped to the ground gracelessly, crawling into the vee of Marty's legs and resting his chin on the older man's well-muscled thigh.

Beau joined Mat on his left, soundlessly pouring himself off the couch and depositing himself at Marty's feet.

"Well, get my fly open and get me hard. No hands, Barz, c'mon, wanna see what your mouth can do."

Mat nodded, letting Marty pet his head, feeling drunk and dazed after only a few sips of beer. His head was hazy with the need to please. Beau was using his teeth to pull Marty's fly down, and Marty wiggled his own jeans down to his ankles before letting them get on with it.

Mat watched as Beau delicately tugged the elastic of Marty's boxers down, dragging them just below his balls, where Marty stopped him to tug the underwear down to join his jeans.

Before Beau could beat him to it, Mat ducked his head to tongue at the crown of Marty's exposed cock.

"Atta boy, Barz, greedy for it aren't ya?" Marty sighed, pushing Beau's head down to have him suck at his balls. "Fuck that's it, Beau."

Mat groaned, the vibrations causing Marty to reach down and twist and hand into the boy's dark locks and tug hard.

Gasping, Mat pulled off, saliva connecting his lips to Marty's cock, and he looked up, finding Marty's eyes lust-blown and dark.

"Beau come up here, I'm gonna finger you open while Mat sucks me off," Marty commanded, not taking his eyes off Mat's as he guided his dick back into Mat's mouth.

Beau got up and must've been directed into position by Marty, laid out so he was kneeling on the loveseat next to the man, armrest supporting his folded arms and head. Mat bobbed his head on Marty's cock as he watched Beau push his ass out for Marty to knead at.

A sharp sound signified Marty's hand smacking Beau's ass, and the groan of pain-pleasure that followed caused Mat to whimper around Marty, his own cock twitching in his track pants.

Marty reached back down to Mat, pushing strong fingers through his hair before shoving up into Mat's mouth, making him gag.

"C'mon, Barz, open up, gonna fuck your face, get you all messy." Mat stuck out his tongue, letting Marty's cock slide to the back of his throat and drip precum and drool down his chin.

"Fuck," Beau murmured, watching Mat take Marty with hungry eyes, pushing back into Marty's hand with cut off curses as Marty opened him up.

Mat closed his eyes and let himself embrace being used, his throat aching in the best way as Marty continuously pushed down it, choking him, making him gag and drool and moan helplessly.

He didn't notice that he was rocking his hips against Marty's shin until Marty pulled him off his cock and smiled teasingly down at him.

"Sweetheart, you planning to get off like that?"

Mat froze, hips stilling, and he blinked tear-bleary eyes up at Marty.

"I promise you it'll be better if you wait," the man stated, pulling Mat up to straddle his thigh, one hand occupied teasing Beau, the other pushing up the hem of Mat’s shirt to flick at his nipples.

Mat squirmed, wrinkling his nose at the sensation, and Marty laughed loudly, breaking the heavy air of the quiet apartment.

“Not a fan of having your nipples played with?” he grinned, hand trailing back down to Mat’s waist.

“I don’t think so, sorry,” Mat mumbled, tucking his face into Marty’s chest to avoid looking at him.

“Nothing to apologize for, Barz,” Marty replied, fingers curling into his hair.

“Mine are so sensitive,” Beau stated, turning in the loveseat to face them, and whipping off his shirt.

Marty raised a brow. “Now there’s an idea. Mat, why don’t you suck on Beau’s tits and finger him, huh?”

Mat giggled, looking at Beau. “Told you they’re tits, bro.”

Beau rolled his eyes and tugged Mat closer to kiss him soundly on the mouth, the taste of Marty’s precum still lingering on Mat’s tongue.

“Fuck you two are gorgeous, aren’t you?” Marty sighed, leaning back in the seat to watch, enraptured. “But we need a bed, I think.”

“Yeah,” Mat broke the kiss panting, ripping his shirt off and tumbling off the seat. Beau smirked, following suit, and gripped Marty’s hands to haul him out of the leather chair. Marty pulled his boxers and jeans back up his hips, leaving the jeans to hang open tantalizingly.

“Pick up after yourselves, boys,” Marty said, his tone gentle but commanding. “You won’t be making a pigsty of my apartment.”

“Sorry,” Mat bit his lip, dropping his gaze to the floor, hearing Beau’s much less remorseful “oops” and following spank that Marty delivered.

Fingers tugged Mat’s head back up to Marty’s even gaze. “Thank you, Mat, such a good boy.”

Mat’s mouth dropped open in a soft gasp at the praise, Marty smiling kindly at him, petting him like a cat. Beau, at Mat’s side now, was getting his hair pulled roughly in contrast.

“You like being good for me, huh, Mat?” Marty confirmed. “And Beau here likes being a bit naughty, ain’t that funny. Got me a little angel and a devil.”

Shifting his grip to the backs of their necks, Marty marched Mat and Beau to his bedroom, closing the door behind them if only to provide minimal soundproofing.

Beau and Mat stood in the middle of the room, and Marty snorted at their eager expressions.

“Strip down. All the way. Beau get on the bed right in the middle, propped up on the pillows all the way up at the headboard. Don’t you dare touch yourself unless you don’t wanna be allowed to cum today.”

Beau saluted Marty cheekily before dropping trou and wiggling onto the bed, getting comfortable. Mat could still see the slick path of lube between Beau’s thighs, leading between his asscheeks and felt his cock pulse.

Marty’s hand tipped Mat’s chin up to face him. “Undress me, Mat, slowly. Shirt first, then jeans, socks, then boxers. You’re allowed to touch me as much as you want. Understood?”

Mat nodded as much as he could with Marty’s hand still under his chin, but said hand gripped his jaw tight, freezing him in place and his eyes flicked nervously back to Marty’s.

“I need you be vocal with me about everything. Yes’s, no’s, what you like, dislike, what feels good, when you want more of something, and when you have things you want me to do to you. Now,” Marty’s thumb pulled Mat’s lower lip down, opening his mouth and Mat let Marty’s thumb rest on his tongue a moment before closing his mouth and sucking softly. “Am I clear?”

“Yes,” Mat lisped around Marty’s thumb, head going hazy again. His knees felt like pudding and it took all his willpower to stay standing when Marty let his hand drop and motioned for him to begin undressing him.

Mat slowly dragged his fingers under the hem of Marty’s henley t-shirt, eyes glued to each inch of skin as it was exposed. Marty ducked his head to let Mat pull the shirt up over his head, hands tracing the muscles of his shoulders, arms, forearms as the sleeves were drawn off and Mat held onto the shirt, pulling it right-side-out, folding it, and laying it on the dresser that was across from the bed. At Marty’s smile and nod, Mat knew he’d done well with keeping the older man’s clothes tidy, and took his nod as a sign to continue.

Sliding to his knees, Mat looked up at Marty, slipping his already open jeans down his hips, and letting his hands follow the denim down to Marty’s ankles. Marty lifted each leg one at a time to help Mat to remove the jeans, which the younger folded neatly again, and set on top of the henley on the dresser, getting back to his knees after.

“Use your mouth to get my boxers off,” Marty directed, and Mat gulped before gently getting his teeth around the edge of the elastic band, pulling up and over Marty’s leaking cock, tucking it under his balls for a moment. Mat’s teeth grazed Marty’s hipbone as he tugged one side of his boxers down, then the other side, then pulling them down at the middle till they fell to Marty’s feet. Marty picked them up and put them in a hamper in the corner of the room instead of having Mat fold them, and, before standing, Mat placed a gentle kiss to both sides of Marty’s hips and then to the tip of his dick, knees popping a little from being on the floor awhile.

“Good job, sweetheart,” Marty kissed Mat gently. “And Beau, you’ve been surprisingly good over there, not touching yourself.”

“It was tough, you put on quite a show, Barzy,” Beau grinned, hands linked under his head, both in a gesture of comfort and to keep himself from touching his own cock.

“You gonna be sweet for us, Mat? Gonna suck on Beau’s tits, finger him till he cums all over himself?” Marty asked from behind Mat, placing kisses along Mat’s spine.

“Don’t you wanna cum, too?” Mat frowned, pushing his ass back on Marty’s hard cock nestled against Mat’s ass, still in his track pants.

“I was gonna ask if you’d let me fuck you,” Marty murmured, teeth nipping at the tender skin under Mat’s jaw.

“Please,” Mat breathed, arm coming up to wrap around Marty’s neck, keeping his lips on Mat’s neck. “I- Fuck, I want it so bad.”

“Yeah?” Marty nuzzled into Mat’s neck. “Strip and get on the bed, help out Beau and I’ll open you up for my cock.”

Mat moaned, tearing off his pants and boxer briefs in one go, laying both on the dresser without folding them, scrambling on the bed, before realizing that he should have folded his clothes, and looking over at Marty anxiously.

“It’s alright, Mat,” Marty smiled, “I’ll excuse it since you’re so eager.”

Mat turned back to Beau, who was rocking his hips up into the air uselessly, already worked up.

“Hi,” Mat said, kissing Beau’s pouty, bitten-red lips, before kissing down his chest to his pecs.

“Fuck, Mat, c’mon, don’t tease,” Beau grumbled, pushing his chest up into Mat’s warm mouth, and Mat let his tongue lave over Beau’s right nipple, teeth catching on the peaked bud, and he felt more than heard Beau’s answering groan.

“You good if I start fingering you, Mat?” Marty asked, the snap of the lube cap making Mat blink, taking his mouth briefly off Beau’s chest.

“Yes, please,” Mat replied, getting up onto his knees and bending over Beau’s body more, ass exposed to Marty. He felt the wet press of a finger exploring, just circling his hole, pushing gently, getting him slick. Mat hummed happily, resuming biting and licking Beau’s tits, making them sore and red. “Can I have some lube to finger Beau?”

Marty passed the bottle to Mat, who poured a little on a couple fingers before passing it back.

Finding Beau’s eyes, Mat dipped a finger down to Beau’s hole, already a little slick from earlier, and still a little open as his first finger slid in easily, Beau rocking back on it.

Mat was preoccupied with Beau’s slick hole when Marty’s finger dipped into his own ass, causing him to wriggle back on Marty’s hand, silently asking for more before remembering Marty’s demand.

“Please, Marty, more, I can take it. I-” Mat flushed and pressed his hot cheeks into Beau’s tits before finishing his sentence. “I like it when it hurts a little.”

Marty rumbled in satisfaction. “Good boy, Mat. Such a sweet little slut for us, isn’t he, Beau?”

“Fuck yeah,” Beau choked out, moaning long and loud as Mat’s fingers, two now, grazed his prostate once, twice, sliding along the spot as his teeth teased Beau’s raw nipples.

Marty slid another finger in alongside the first, and Mat pushed back into the burn, biting down on Beau’s pec. Marty spent a moment scissoring and spreading the two fingers, stretching Mat’s hole, as Mat mouthed and sucked messily at Beau. There was no way they’d be able to hide the marks on Beau’s chest at this point, with several hickies now marking Beau’s pecs and neck, his nipples abused from Mat’s teeth.

“One more, please,” Mat begged, rolling back into Marty’s hand desperately. “I need your cock.”

“That’s it, baby, taking it so well, I’ll give you what you need soon, one more,” Marty promised, pressing a third finger beside the others, kissing along Mat’s tailbone, long, sucking kisses that broke the staccato sound of Beau’s moans as Mat’s fingers pulsed against his prostate, Mat tonguing at the crown of Beau’s cock.

“Gonna cum, please can I?” Beau panted, question directed at Marty, running the show.

“Go ahead, Mat, let Beau cum on your face and tongue babe,” Marty said, lifting his head to watch as Beau jacked himself, moaning, his cum landing on Mat’s lashes just as his eyes closed, dripping down his cheeks, splattering on his lips and onto his unfurled tongue.

“Fuck, Mat,” Beau sighed, body melting back into the mattress.

“Goddamn, Mat, you’re a pretty picture. A painted whore,” Marty chuckled. “Beau get him a tissue, clean off his eyes only. I wanna keep him a pretty mess for a while.”

Beau obeyed, tugging a tissue from the side table, and gently getting all the cum out of Mat’s lashes, kissing his forehead. Beau’s fingers swiped up the cum on Mat’s cupid’s bow and chin, and Mat stuck out his tongue to lick it off, sucking Beau’s fingers till he pulled his hand back, gripping Mat’s chin. Mat looked at Beau, distantly hearing the crinkle of a condom wrapper and the snap of the lube bottle’s cap, but found himself lost to watching Beau watch him.

Smiling gently, Beau, kissed Mat, tongue sliding into his mouth, the sound of their heavy breathing the only sound as Marty’s hands slid from Mat’s ass to his waist and back, waiting.

“Please, Marty, I want it,” Mat sighed into Beau’s mouth, still braced over him. Marty’s cock teased at Mat’s entrance, sliding along the crease of Mat’s lube-drenched ass over and over again.

“What exactly do you want, Mat?” Marty searched, leaning in close to suck marks to Mat’s neck, grinding slowly, until it was too much for Mat to handle.

“Fuck, Marty, god, fuck me, please, I want you to fuck me,” Mat implored, voice hoarse as his desperation rose. “I need your cock, daddy, please.”

Beau groaned softly, soft dick twitching in a valiant attempt to get it up again at Mat’s pleading, and Marty crooned sweet things in Mat’s ear, biting down on a fresh hickey before leaning back.

As Marty’s cock filled him, Mat could only whimper, Beau’s hands kneading his ass, holding him open for Marty. Covered in marks, spit, and cum, Mat felt every bit a slut for the two men in bed with him, and he embraced it, rocking back until Marty was all the way seated inside him.

Looking over his shoulder at the older man, Mat bit his lip lasciviously, eyes half-lidded. “You were moving too slow.”

Marty laughed, short and bright, hands gripping Mat’s waist tighter as he pulled almost completely out before slamming back in, jostling Mat forward into Beau’s body, head dropping down onto his chest as Marty continued his rough, slow thrusts.

“Feel good?” Beau prompted, tucking Mat’s hair behind his ear, which was useless when it just flopped back to hang in front of his face again.

“So good,” Mat gasped, letting out a shout as a particularly sharp thrust glanced against his prostate. “So fucking good, Beau.”

“Tell Marty that, mon cher,” Beau purred, playing into Marty’s dominant nature, and Mat almost cried with the pleasure of being tortured so sweetly.

“Fuck,” Mat sobbed, “Feels so good, daddy.”

Marty huffed, hand lifting from his iron grip to crack against Mat’s ass, causing Mat to howl, tears of pain-pleasure finally gathering at his eyes and threatening to fall. “You like when daddy fucks you like that, gorgeous?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Mat chanted, rolling his hips in time with Marty’s thrusts, and the tears in his eyes fell down his cheeks when Beau’s hand found the head of his cock, loosely circling it as Mat’s hips rocked. Mat let out something close to a scream, maybe a sob, maybe something in between, except he couldn’t hear himself. All he could hear was the filthy slap of Marty’s hips against his ass.

"You like Beau touching you like that? He looks so good with your marks all over him, huh, Mat?"

Another crack, and pain, zipping through Mat as if it was connected straight to his cock.

“God, fuck yeah, feels so good, Beau. You look so good. Please,” Mat cried, tears falling freely down his cheeks. “Please can I cum?”

“Yeah,” Marty grunted, “Fuck, yeah, Mat cum for us.”

Beau’s hand tightened and he stroked Mat through his orgasm, mind whiting out at the intensity of the feeling. Mat could feel Marty’s hands tense and relax from his own orgasm, felt him pull out, but could only focus on the feel of Beau’s skin under his cheek, his breaths coming fast and heavy.

Minutes later, or maybe hours with how hazy Mat’s mind was, he felt hands stroking through his hair, and a separate set of hand stroking down his spine with a wet cloth, getting between his legs to clean up the lube sticking to his thighs.

“Can you sit up a little, Mat?” Beau’s voice drifted into Mat’s mind. Mat obeyed as best he could, unsticking himself from the cum-tacky surface of Beau’s stomach and sitting up.

Marty’s arms wrapped around him to steady him, and Mat tilted his head back to look at his face. Marty grinned down at him, giving him a sweet kiss on the forehead before gently wiping the residual cum from Mat’s face and stomach.

“You were so good for us,” Marty murmured, tossing the rag to Beau, who cleaned himself up and Marty nuzzled into Mat’s hair. “Thank you, Mat.”

Mat frowned. “Why are you thanking me?”

Beau and Marty paused to look at him. Beau took one of his hands.

“You did what Marty told you to; telling us what you wanted, what felt good. That’s important, Mat,” Beau explained.

Marty nodded. “I don’t expect you to totally understand it, but it’s pretty common for people to want to have someone in control of them. It’s a way of stress-relief. If you don’t have to make choices, you don’t have those consequences on your shoulders.”

“We can talk about it later,” Beau smiled, rubbing over the veins in Mat’s hands. “You’ve had a pretty tiring day, I think we’re done for today on that subject.”

Marty laughed, petting Mat’s hair once more before standing and grabbing a new pair of boxers from his dresser. “Have some water before either of you leave, but I agree, I think we’ve tired Mat out enough.”

“I dunno I think I could go another round,” Mat said sarcastically, and both Beau and Marty rolled their eyes.

“Alright, tough stuff,” Marty scoffed, handing Mat his clothes as they all got dressed.

Dressed, and hydrated, Beau tugged Mat out of Marty’s apartment, both a little ruffled looking and sore in places that couldn’t be explained from just practice.

“That really happened, huh?” Mat giggled, letting Beau carry most of his weight as they rode the elevator down to the lobby, fingers pressing at the collar of Beau’s shirt, where they both knew a scattering of bruises in the shape of Mat’s mouth lay.

“Yeah, it sure did,” Beau hummed, arms wrapping around Mat to keep him up. “You uh... you’re still like, interested in me, right?”

Mat blanked for a second, wondering why Beau would even second guess. “Dude, of course. I...like don’t get me wrong, that was fun with Marty, but next time let’s just make it you and me?”

Beau’s face broke open in a blinding grin, making a similar wild smile echo on Mat’s. “Sounds like a plan, Barz.”

[atinycupofpositivitea]

Hello! I have a question: how do I know if my therapist is right for me? And some doubts/worries I've been having my anxiety.

I've been in therapy for a few months now however, recently I saw my therapist's professional profile on their website and it mentions that they have their master's degree and certifications but doesn't have any prior full-time work experience as a psychologist. They did mention some short-term internships though.

Now I'm wondering (also worrying) if it's okay to trust them completely? It's especially bad because I have health anxiety which mainly focuses around mental health issues (like anxiety about depression, ocd, etc.) I used to google those conditions and most things that came up were things most people do/go through in their daily life too. So I got really confused about what separates them and ended up being anxious thinking I have those conditions too and overthinking every random habit of mine and labelling it as "depression" or "ocd" which just drains me because I know none of my habits bother me? And yet, I label them as "xyz condition" because I read online that it "could" mean a mental health condition and since it's basically the same thing, I end up thinking "if its a problem for that person and its a symptom of xyz (say: ocd for example) then I have that habit too but i don't have any problem with it. And yet, is it still xyz condition for me too? Is it not normal?

And when I get too overwhelmed by these thoughts, I remind myself that my therapist said it's not that condition and I'm just overthinking. But now that I read that they don't have prior full time work experience as a psychologist, I keep wondering "What if they are wrong?" Or "What if they don't get it?"

The thing is- I trust them and they always listen to me patiently and gave their thoughts on my problems and small exercises like carrying around a card with written affirmations, speaking affirmations in front of the mirror, gratitude journaling, thought labeling, etc. And I've noticed some positive changes in me since starting therapy too like a bit more self compassion and yet, my anxiety makes me question if I can trust their opinion on it if I have certain mental health issues I fear. Similar to how sometimes I can't trust my doctor's opinion if I have convinced myself of having any health condition after reading symptoms on google or from random people on the internet. The line between something being a mental health condition and something nornal is so blurred to me honestly 😔

What do you think? What does make someone a good therapist? I'm so confused 🥺

Sorry if this was too much, I'm really sorry. And thank you for being here and I love you and your account 💖

Hey there Anon!

Apologies for the super, extra late reply. I have taken a couple of weeks to restore my inner peace and balance, and now I'm feeling like I can take on the whole world. 💕💪🏼

I understand your worries and can totally relate to your concerns about your therapist. It can be a daunting feeling to not feel sure about the person that helps us keep good mental health.

From an external point of view, it sounds like your anxiety is trying to sabotage you and make you believe in things that are not facts. You are free to change your therapist if you feel like you need somebody with more experience, there is nothing wrong in that, but it's really up to you. You can either go with your gut feeling or try to analyse things in a neutral way.

To answer your question, I personally think that a good therapist is one that validates your situation and your feelings while actively listening to you and guiding you in the journey. With them you learn essential facts about reality and helpful ways to get better. I also think it's fair to give a therapist at least two chances to prove they can help you.

Hopefully this helps you clear your mind and make a good decision for yourself. I also am very grateful for your kind words about me and my blog, it means a lot to me. 💞

Take care Anon,

Lots of love.

[robinasnyder]

So, I read all of Remarried Empress in like one night last night (65 chapters available for free on webtoons), and I have thoughts.

So, my issue is that everyone is horrible, but Rashta is framed as extra horrible even though she would easily be the lead in a different story.

So, the way slavery works, as described early in the story is that slaves are people who committed a crime, or the descendants of someobe who committed a crime. I know I'm extrapolating a little, but the laws are that anyone committed a crime deserving a life sentence will be enslaved along with their descendants. In the picture there is a man and woman being sentenced. As such, it makes me think that if a man committed a crime, and he had a wife and children, that suddenly all of them would be enslaved. And since the sentence is 100 years, that means easily 5 generations could be enslaved because one man did something and the law allows this.

Despite hypothetically only people for people who deserve a life sentence, who's to say what deserves life sentence, especially because people seem to be able to be executed willy nilly in this world.

Also, even a poor noble family like Lotteshu's seems to be able to afford a stable of slaves. So that means there's enough slaves that they probably aren't that expensive.

Navier doesn't own slaves, as far as we know, but she's totally happy to live in a system that does and doesn't think there's anything wrong with it at all. Her only concern about Rashta being a runaway slave is that it's humiliating to the Royal Family. That's it.

So, then we have Rashta. It seems like Alan did like her, and probably thought he was "making love" to her. She may have even had feelings for him, but it's clear there was always a very visible power imbalance. Rashta even talks about how dangerous it was for her to be beautiful when she was enslaved. She's very clearly been raped before, and probably not just by Alan. Despite him dripping sincere feelings, she isn't just unhappy with him being around her because it puts her place in jeopardy, but because even though he probably said he loved her, he put his station over her wellfair.

So Rashta's whole story is about her escaping from slavery after having been raped and abused, and had a child who she was told died but was actually stolen from her. Once she finally feels safe, she finds kut her child that she wanted so much is still alive, and is being used to blackmail her. This causes her feelings to get mixed up about her first child, especially once she gets pregnant again. Her first child is being cared for, but he easily could be enslaved too because she's his mother. Also, he's the reason she and her second child could lose everything.

So she is both being used, but also using others to try and protect herself. She knows that the Emperor can throw her away in and instant, and she needs to protect herself and her new child.

But the way the narrative frames just makes her hateful, even though she should be deeply sympathetic.

So then there's Navier. I love Navier. I'm very much rooting for her to be happy. The reason she hates Rashta is very obvious. Nornally, I'd say maybe being honest would help, but I don't think it would.

If Navier clearly explained to Rashta early on that she is upset and doesn't like her because her husband hurt her and humiliated her, over and over again by taking a lover, and so she would rather they just not cross paths, I think Rashta may have understood, but I doubt it would have fixed much. I think if Rashta had explained to Navier early on what happened to her and that she needs to remain the Emperor's Mistress for her own safety, I don't think Navier would have cared.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think Navier would have told her husband all of this at all. She wouldn't have ratted her out, but she also wouldn't have helped. She never, ever was going to care about Rashta had her plight even if Rashta wasn't sleeping with her husband.

I think this is the heart of it: everyone is horrible in some way. The Emperor's easily the worst, but when I was first reading, I didn't hate him as much as I hated Rashta. Despite having the most sympathetic and tragic backstory, which is hammered in over and over, Rashta's suffering is treated like an embarrassing thing that will effect the Royal family, more than it is treated like tragic suffering on the part of someone who is actually naive.

I still don't like Rashta, at all. And that's fine. She's not written to be likable. But it bothers me that especially to start, thar she was written as the most hateable, despite the Emperor being the one who cheating and twisting Navier's words to suit whatever narrative he has in his mind.

I totally loved reading this, but also, I do have some concerns about how all of this is framed. Still, I really am excited for Navier to be able to remarry and be happy. I just hope that this story doesn't end with Rashta being enslaved again. Unfortunately, I'm afraid the creators may see this as a "fitting punishment" for her actions.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Requested by: @hello-lucky-luka

The corpse groom

Every minimal details had to work, said your parents.

You were being forced to get engaged with Shigaraki Tomura, a noble from a family whose had their status, but no money. In contrary to your family who had money due to their bussines involving fish, but no such tittles.

You had only a conversation with the man, but both your mothers exclaimed how it was scandulous to be alone on a room alone before the marriage.... The wedding rehearsal was a disaster where you just wanted the ground to eat you alive... especially with that random woman laughing.

Despite Shigaraki calling you back, you ran away due to all extress of not being prepared to be married with a man you barely knew... You wish you had never entered that florest though.

A man. A DEAD man emerged from the ground and you colapse... wakening up only by some snickers, noticing that now you were in a world where dead creatures lived.

A man with an eye missing out with blong hair was shaking you and screaned along with yourself when you finally woke up.

"Where am I?! Where is this?! Who are all of you and why do you look so-so-?!"

"Fucked up? Absolute filled with trash? News flashes newbiew! We're fucking dead!" A man spoke, he was huge and with a hole on his chest that you even saw through it.

"Ooh new meat!!!!" Another man with the jaw broken aproached and you yelped, falling on the floor but with arms... DEAD ARMS on you as if they tried to prevent your fall.

"Pardon." The man with glasses spoke before casually kneeling to pick his arms and placed them back to help you stand up.

"T-this i-is-"

"Oi! YOu ShOUlD Be GrAtefUll To BE DraGGed DoWn HeRE!" A creature with their eye hanging of their head spoke and you almost vomited.

"Yes. Parcially because they are master's spouse." One blond man with a fucking katana on his stomach spoke calmly as you gagged in horror.

"W-what w-was that part again?"

"It seems we're engaged." A gruff voice spoke from behind you, scaridly you sneak over your shoulder and gasped at the sign of the main responsible for you to be in this circle of horror.

The man had messy brow hair with golden eyes, his skin was a mix of faint blue due to how long his corpse have been dead as half of one arma of his was pure bones while the other was... "fine". He wore a black messy and torn black tuxedo with half of his tie missing as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You screamed in horror when someone patted him on the back and his fucking eye dropped on your hand.

"Geez is just an eye." The man who patted the other spoke as he gravbed the eye nornally back and handed to the owner, his body was full of holes as if he had been fuzilied.

"Imbecile." The owner of the amber eye punched the back of the white hair man head... making it to fall to thhe floor.

You screamed again.

~

You came to learn that this man was actually murdered. He had fell for a woman's trick to get her hands on the money of his family. Ever since then, the dead people around there told that this man, Chisaki Kai; whose by disgust at himself decided to change his name by Overhaul; vowed to himself that he would wait for someone else, and perfect, to marry him.

And looks like you were the poor soul.

"I-I'm really sorry what happened to you. But I really cant do this! I have another man to-to-"

"YoU'Re An IdiOt?!" The creature screamed and you flinched at how his eyeball swinged... giving you shivers and even the urge to puke.

"We learned that you were on a arrangement married." The white, and dirty, haired man spoke and Chisaki's eyes narrowed.

"So there is another one huh?"

"There's no other one! A-Actually- You're the other one! My groom is waiting up there and you are just... just-!"

"Dead." He hissed and you swear you saw a tinge of sadness on those dead cold amber eyes of his "It doesn't matter. We are engaged and that's final."

He stormed his way out of the room, making every person of there to look at you as YOU made something wrong.

The fuzzilied man and the creature followed after him as you continue to think of something, anything to get you out of that place.

~

"Maybe they lost their head or something." Mimic spoke as Chisaki paced around the room with a frown.

"Shigaraki Tomura. Boss trust me, there's nothing special about this guy! Just give some time to them, and bing! The curse will be broken and you got someo-"

"Stop." He said nonchantly, shoulders sagging in defeat as he ran his reamaining hand on his hair "They have a point. I am prisioned with this.. dead. While they are still with lungs functionanting... maybe it was indeed a mistake." He sighed.

The two man changed worried glances. Before Mimic smirked and elbowed his commurate, aproaching Chisaki slowly.

"What does that wispy little brat have

That you don't have double?"

"He can't hold a candle

To the beauty of your soul." the white haired man placed a hand on his shoulder.

"How about a pulse?" Chisaki hissed, slapping Kurono's hand away from his shoulder.

"Overrated by a mile." Mimic answered smugly.

"Overvalued, overblown

If they only knew

The you that we do" the two continue

"And that despicable little creature

Isn't wearing their ring" kurono pointed to the ring of his finger.

"And he doesn't play piano

Or dance, or sing

No he doesn't compare" the both said in hopes to cheer up his boss and friend.

"But he still breaths air." He noted sharply before the two got in feont of him as he tried to exit.

"Who cares?

Unimportant, overrated

Overblown, if only they could see

How special you can be

If they only knew the you that we do"

He glared a both of them before hsi vision got into the only candle lighten up on the room, frowning at it...

"If I touch a burning candle

I can feel no pain

If you cut me with a knife

It's still the same...

And I know his heart is beating

And I know that I am dead

Yet the pain here that I feel

Try and tell me it's not real

And it seems I still have a tear to shed" he layed his back miserably on the wall and placed his good hand to cover how much his pain was feeling.

"The sole redeeming feature

From that little creature

Is that he's alive," mimic exclaimed while getting from behind, transforming into his human form, still with the eye hanging from his skull as one of his legs were missing.

"everybody knows

That's just a temporary state

Which is cured very quickly

When we meet our fate" Kurono aproached from the other side while taking off his head to make his point.

"Who cares?

Unimportant, overrated

Overblown, if only they could see

How special you can be

If they only knew the you that we do"

Impatience and rage took over him as he punched from behind the two man. The two hissing in pain before seing how numb was he... how miserable he sounded for the first time since they knew him.

"...If I touch a burning candle

I can feel no pain

In the ice or in the sun

It's all the same

Yet I feel my heart is aching

Thou it doesn't beat, it's breaking

And the pain here that I feel

Try and tell me it's not real

I know that I am dead..." he layed on the bed, looking at the ceiling with no hope before closing his eyes.

"Yet it seems I still have

One tear to shed" they widened their eyes at the single drop of water coming out of his closed eye.

"Do deads can cry now?!" Mimic whispered shouted before cursing out loud when Kurono merely sighed and punched him with more force than Chisaki had before.

~

You were absolutely horrified. Not even two days in here and one subordinate of your family had died from a heart attack and appeared on the same place you were stuck in... and it seemes like he brought the news which brought you to the reality.

When you went missing, your and Tomura's family had canceled the wedding due to you not being there, assuming you had ran away from your responsibilities and another woman came in rushing as a thunder to take the responsibility.

This made you realize how... you didn't were cared for by your supposed future broom. It was all a arrangment marrige after all.

The sound of a sad yet beautiful music took your thoughts away as you followed the beautiful melody... finding a door half closed, you decided to pick inside only to widened your eyes in shock as you see the man you were supposed engaged to playing the piano.

People could call you crazy, but in this scenario he looked... quite beautiful. His eyes were sorrow but still focused on the piano in fron of him, slender and bones fingers dancing on each piece of it as his shoulders tensed when he heard the door making it a sound... but still not looking up.

"You play wonderfully." You mused out loud as he scoffed, wincing a bit you remember that he some how must still be offended by what you said earlier.

You slowly and shyly took a seat next to him, visibly noticing him not enjoying the least your company as he still played.

"Im sorry I hurt your feelings-"

"I thought deads didn't had those." He grimaced and you instantly shut uo before slowly playing one note, smilling shyly when he stopped a bit to inspect your actions.

"My parents thought I didn't had to do piano classes, so I sadly didn't had one chance to play such beautiful songs as yours..." you tried to mimic his actions before you and him hissed at the horrific sound it came out.

"God have mercy, your parents were right on not trying to put you onto such a thing." He growled and you felt offended. Going to talk back you closed your mouth when he aproached you, placing his still carnal hand and skeleton one underneath yours, encouting you silently to touch it.

He started to play one song more animated, you gasping in awe at the beauty of it and how he was actually showing you how it was. The sign of it made him smirk as you giggle... although he widened gis eyes whem his hand decided to pop out of his wrist and dance on the fucking piano.

You giggled and hesitantly picked it back, offering him with a smile.

"Pardon." He coughed as he put it back with a scoff as you smiled at him.

The door suddenly slammed open, the blond man who scared you at the first day panting as Chisaki glared at him from his seat with you.

"What is the meaning of this?" He growled, getting up as the poor guy pointed at some place in the hall.

"I-Is urgent boss! Is something about your-" Kurono popped out of no where, shutting his mouth up.

Chisaki gave you an apologetic look before adjusting his tie and going after then.

After a few minutes of no company you sighed and decided to walk around until you heard whispers shouts on what was suppose to be the kitchen.

"I'm sorry master, but the marriage will only be "real" when both of the involved are from the same world." Tengai spoke as you heard Chisaki punching something.

"What is needed then?!" He shouted and you curled in yourself by instinct.

"That's the best part!" Mimic said in glee before darkening his voice "We're going to kill them!"

You muffled your gasp as you pecked inside the room, seing all the man in there looking at Chisaki. Who for the first time had a conflicted expression.

Suddenly he let out a heavy sigh. Making you curious and rather anxious on what he would say.

"No. I was a criminal while alive, but certainly I am not a beast." He murmured as the others on the room frowned.

You laid your back in the wall sighing... biting your lip as all the thoughts in your head ran and ran until you decided to enter the room slowly. Shocking everyone.

"What are you doing in here?" Chisaki growled, eyeing you between his eyes, before taking his hand out of his face to watch you more properly when you took a seat next to him.

"I will do it." You spoke witha smile, giggling a bkt when one of the man's jaw literally fell.

"You heard it." He mused out loud as you pondered over your final decision.

"You weren't selfish enoigh to murder me. And only what you done with my stay in here was trying to be gentle with me until i ruined everything with my hurtful words. But still I have one wish to make.... I want the wedding not to be soon, neither down here... on the surface more likely, so you all and myself can watch the beautiful nightsky."

"... fair enough. Then why are you trying to brush the wedding aside then?" He asked with his noss arched up, you hesitated before grabbing his hand that weren't left any skin or muscles on it, surprinsing him for once.

"Because I want to know my groom before I marry him. And I want you to know about me as well." You smiled and you swore the deadman was smilling as well.

"Very well.... finance."

[anginbermonolog]

Hi December

I hope it is still not too late to welcome this precious month of the year. I have some mixed feelings everytime December comes. First, I just cant comprehend how fast time can fly. Second, I will be moving to another period of time,meaning, my age is going up hooooooo. My prime golden age is passing. In my life, I love my school time the most. I enjoyed my teenage years. Study, friendship, love and the energy that I had.

What have I achieved in this year so far? As for my relationship with the man whom I love, yes, we are good. He has proven to me that he is the best decision that I have made😜. So I hope we will grow old together. Same with my family,I am so lucky to have them. They are very good and I will miss them dearly everyday.

Well, my goal since a few years back is 'career'. I wish to have a nornal working hours, I hate to stay late at work. I also need to run away from toxic environment. I dont have so many friends at work (i think everybody also the same). I am okay with that but sometimes having no close friends is bad. Besides that, I wish to see myself serving a shariah compliant company. With that, my mind will be at ease.

Please 2021,I hope I can get another job soon.

Amin.

Angin

[boriswhatthemotherfuck]

dark academia ask game!

the secret history 🏛: how close are you and your group of friends? how far would you all go to protect each other? how many languages do you speak?

i have two friend groups! both of them i completely adore and i have one friend who is in both. we are close in a way most teenagers are. i find that we all lack depth in our reltionships. my best friend, who is in neither group would be the friend id be willing to truly do anything for. i love my friends in my friend group dearly, but i would never do something against my own morals for them. I only speak English !

if we were villains 🎭: are you into theatre? who’s your favourite shakespeare character? would you or do you smoke weed or cigarettes?

yes! i’m a proud thespian! i do my fair share of acting and also the technical aspects (a focus in costumes). my favorite shakespeare character is definitely ophelia! i’ve wanted to play her since i was a child, but she simply doesn’t fit my look. i’ve never had a cigarette, but i’ve smoked week a couple of times. this feels weird to talk about on the internet.

dead poets society 🖋: do you prefer poetry or prose? do you get along with your parents? do you resist authority or do you deal well with it?

prose! prose! prose! my parental relationships are not great. at all. this feels weird to talk about on the internet. i think it depends on the authority? if i have respect for them then i deal with them well. if it’s just simply someone who is in charge and treats people poorly then i don’t deal with it so well. it gets me in trouble sometimes.

kill your darlings ⏳: would you consider yourself an intelligent person? have you ever fallen in love with someone who wasn’t right for you? tradition or innovation?

honestly? no. i shouldn’t be allowed in the dark academia community. i’m more street smart tham book smart, unless it’s usesless literature, theatre, or psychology knowledge. I find that i tend to fall in love (shut up moony. youve been in love once.) to people who i think are not on the same ~emotional maturity~ level as me. innovation!! all the way!

homer 📖: is it more important to be brave or to be kind? do you like to read?

oooo this is hard. i think sometimes kindness is brave. wo i eould have to say kindness. YES! i love reading.

cigarette 🚬: what is your worst habit? do you like drinking? do you party a lot?

i have quite a few bad habits. when ever i get nervous i bite the inside of my lip until it draws blood. i also have a emotional dependence on hot cheetos. i don’t party a lot. one or twice a year i’ll go to a party.

leaf 🍁: what is your favourite season? what is your favourite comfort food?

i love the winter time! i love snow and the cold. i know this isn’t really what this is asking.... but hot cheetos....

vermont ❄️: would you ever go to school far away from your family? are you scared of losing the people close to you?

i WANT to go to a school far away. I live in the US and all the schools i plan on applying to are at least three five states away. i’m scared of losing my best friend. i don’t think i could manage life without him.

wine 🍷: how far would you go to help yourself? what about to help other people? do you think humans are inherently selfish?

to be honest, i have a massive guilt complex so not that far unless im trying to make myself feel miserable. to help other people? it depends on the person. there are some people i would pull and oliver marks for. i do think humans are inherently selfish, but i do not think that it is a bad thing. selfishness drives “selflessness” and shit so.

piano 🎹: what’s your favourite musical genre? do you play any instruments? who’s your favourite artist?

indie pop, indie rock, alt rock, and whatever the fuck hozier is. i play some ukulele. MY FAVORITE ARTIST IS HOZIER. I LOVE HIS MUSIC. IT UNDERSTANDS ME.

whiskey 🥃: tell us about your first kiss. what quality would make you reject someone who asked you out?

it was with my current partner. it was terrible. (babe if you see this i love you im SORRY) we had just watched avengers endgame and i had a STRONG emotional connection to tony stark so i was casually bawling my eyes out when she mashed her face with my face. i had NO clue what i was doing and i was STILL crying. as for rejection, i am actually very picky. i identify as demisexual (please dont hate me if you dont believe in that. im jusst tryna live) so dating and romance has been a bit dofficult as im not attracted to someone else i know them. i think my eyes are broken. my brain too. so really i would reject anyone if i felt i didn’t know them enough. maybe that’s shitty of me.

murder 🔪: are you capable of getting very angry? what are you most afraid of? what would be the worst way to die?

yes but i dont like doing it. it makes me feel out of control. when im that mad i do things that me nornally wouldn’t approve of. my ass would 100% pull that james moment with wren. i am so afraid of actually being a shit person. i am a shit person. BUT I DONT LIKE HAVING THE REALIZATION. burning alive. it would suck to burn alive.

[the-library-under-the-stairs]

Something to share: a small victory

For the past 7 years, i have been suffering a serious health conditio, PCOS that developed into something far serious; Endometrial Hyperplasia with Atypia. So for several years after i gave birth to my first child, i suffer months of no menstruation, then followed right after of years of continous menstruation, or in this case, severe bleeding. But a miracle happened. Inspite of PCOS (which normally makes a eoman infertile) i have birth tomy secobd child, premature at 6 months, but she grew up to be a nornal, energetic girl (she is 10 yrs old now). After that, my bleeding became more severe. So after years of this health condition, i went to several doctors, was prescribed different kinds of pills, and underwent a D&C, but the bleeding did not stop. It was do severe that at one point i had to have blood transfusion. So last October 2019, i went to another doctor (my husband begged me coz he was really getting worried) and underwent with my 2nd D&C. She told me then after the result of the tests that PCOS is not the cause of bleeding, its Hyperplasia with Atypia, she then told me it is possible it already developed into cancer, but she wants me to undergo more test to be sure. To say im devastated to hear that was an understatement. Me, at 34, might have cancer..... i then told my husband 'im not going into some treatment for this, i swear!' We all know Mlmedicine or any medical procedure would be sooo expensive. I was fat, i weight around 198lbs (87kgs) at that time, ate anything i want, without care. I was frustrated and severelh depressed.

So, when our country underwent a quarantine lockdown for 3 months, i stopped eating carbs, lower my intake of anything sweet, worked out, tried to loose some weight, did 16 to 20 hrs of fasting everyday. It was not easy. It was gruelling. I had to give up almost all the food i love and enjoy. Everyday when i wake up, i had (and still) convince myself to push on and never give up.

After almost 8 years, last month was the first month i had my normal menstruation. Currently, i already lost almost 14kgs within 4 months (from 87kgs to 73kgs). I literally cried tears of joy after the very last day of my menstruation last month, coz im now on my way from being free of this burden i have subjected myself for 8 long years. Im not yet done, i am still continuing this fight, until i am well into being healthy again. I did this for my kids, and my husband. But most importantly, i did this for myself. I feel so proud. Me, a very lazy woman when it comes to my health (tbh, in everything except reading), has made progress (just small steps) in making myself healthy.

Lesson learned: never ignore or downplay your health condition, or it will be too late, and too expensive.

Ps. The picture was my before (left, last picture of me before March) and current (right, just took this today) photo

[airsignss]

Could you write “I love you, but you need to shut up.” for webgott please? Don't do if you don't want to though!!!💙

BETCHU THOUGHT I FORGOT??? Well I didn’t and here it issss! Its pretty short, just a lil snippet bc i don’t nornally write them but i want to start doing more 💘💗💛

————————-

This happened from time to time, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object.

Webster had a deadline for his next set of chapters and he was working round the clock to meet that deadline. Staying up late into the night to write was a common occurrence in their home.

Liebgott was content most nights to stay up and keep Webster company as he worked at least for a little while. He knew the drill too- that there was to be very little talking unless Webster needed to vent.

That night though, the rule seemed to escape him because he would. just. not. stop. talking. Everything he saw on television of his phone he had a comment to make about it. He didn’t seem to get the hint either when he would ask for Webster’s input and all he got was a grunt in response.

Webster could feel himself boiling over as Liebgott made commentary on the barber video he was watching on Instagram. He had an innate ability to find something to complain about in everyone's form.

“OH MY GOD. Joe, baby, I love you but you need to shut up.” Webster exclaimed, he knew he probably looked insanely frazzled having run his hand through his hair all night and the bags forming under his eyes.

Liebgott looked shocked for a few seconds, opening and closing his mouth but no words coming out. Finally he settled on fixing a scowl to his face and stalking away from their couch to the bedroom, slamming the door.

Webster considered going after him but decided against it, he’d work it out in the morning after Liebgott had a night of sleep to cool off. In the mean time he was about 500 words from his goal and could probably make it there by 2 am…

[just-a-fangirl-in-fandom-world]

27. Ransom

Damen had absolutely no idea how this happened, but it did and now he is on damage control.

Is this what Nik feels? If so he should really go easier on his friend.

"Laurent, love please tell me again how did you ended up kidnapped by my father's men"

"All it took was a few careful words in the right ears and here I am." Laurent lounged on the bed smiling easily up at Damen. "Since we have both been busy I thought this would be a fun way to... meet up. Besides I knew you would step in to make sure they didn't harm me." Laurent was very confident, nornally that would be a turn on. But right now it just served to annoy him further.

"You could not have done anything else really?"

"This way is more fun. Besides you get to negotiate something for your father this way. You've been saying he is suspicious of you."

Damen ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "You..."

He turned away he needed time to think. If he stayed soon enough he would fall into bed with Laurent and that wasn't what he needed right now.

He headed for his closet finding shoes and his guns.

"Damen... where are you going?" Laurent's voice was uncharacteristically nervous.

"Out. I'll be back don't worry I need to cool my head and think. Nik and Pallas won't let anyone in who would hurt you." Damen headed to the door.

"Damen!"

"Look Laurent. I am excited to see you." Damen sighed leaning on the door. "I just can't be here right now." He heard Laurent getting up but left the room.

Nik and Pallas gave him concerned looks "Don't let him out. Or anyone but me in." He ignored the looks and left.

<hr>

Ransom demans were made. Negotiations were already under way. He was glad that Auguste knew of his and Laurent's relationship.

At least he wouldn't be looking for revenge once Laurent explained or more likely Laurent had told him his plan already.

He wished that Laurent told him things.

He constantly bared his heart and his mind to Laurent since they became, serious? Whatever that meant with Laurent.

He doesn't want everything that goes on in that ever spinning mind, he wouldn't push for that, he could wait. Laurent would talk to him about private issues when he was ready not before and Damen could wait.

But he wanted to at least be aware of whatever plans Laurent made that included him. That wasn't too much to ask was it?

With a sigh he headed back to his room.

<hr>

Laurent was sitting by the window curlled up looking more fragile then he had in a while.

"Hey" soft no anger hardening his voice

Laurent startled and looked over "Damen... you're back."

"I am. I said I would be"

"I know I just..." Laurent paused "I should have given you some warning about the plan. I'm sorry. I just was excited to see you. I didn't even think..."

Damen softened even more walking over "I can understand that."

"I guess I'm not perfect after all"

"I already knew that, love." Damen says softly "Its one of the many, many things I love about you"

"Damen..."