#I am doing everything BUT editing this chapter 😭

[suffarustuffaru]

arc 8 otto gets more and more deranged with every appearance i love it 😭😭😭😭 this chapter was a mainly otto centric one which was fascinating!!! URGH i have many thoughts :((( the whole chapter being about “walking with light”….. where otto acknowledges that:

and this is AFTER julius apologizes to otto and otto emphasizes to julius’s face that. yeah. julius is still an enemy. like yeah theyre exchanging more pleasant words now but otto specifically emphasizes that otto isnt a knight. julius isnt a merchant. julius is in another camp. theyre opposites T^T AND THEN roswaal telling otto that opposing emilia and subarus way of thinking is a poison that Will kill him. BUT THEN OTTO says

he cant walk with light meaning he cant see reality and still choose to be idealistic and noble like julius and emilia and subaru even though hes still trying to support emilia and subaru. :,,,))) and he admits that!!! hes still choosing to walk a darker path than them even knowing hes not as strong as others!!! even knowing that emilia and subaru will never agree with him and vice versa!!! hes walking alone, in a way T^T

[boohorns1136439]

Learning to belong ~ poly!MHA x fem!Reader (07)

Don’t think I forgot about the chapter! I took an unplanned nap earlier, but I still made it (from where I am, it’s still five minutes before midnight, so technically, it’s still Monday)! This chapter was tough to write and edit (tough is an understatement 😭), but here we are! I think as I’m trying to write longer chapters, they’re becoming significantly more work (especially when I try to do it all at once). Hope you enjoy this one too!

Warning: cursing

tags: aged-up characters ; Pack! Izuku Midoriya X Bakugo Katsuki X Shoto Todoroki X Kirishima Eijirou ; Omega!Izuku Midoriya ; Omega!Bakugo Katsuki ; Omega!Shoto Todoroki ; Omega!Kirishima Eijirou ; technically Beta!Reader ; afab!Reader ; modern Au ; post-UA ; Reader has a quirk ; non hero!Reader ; eventually smut ; bisexual!Reader

06 <- 07 -> 08

Masterlist

Taglist —> if you want to be tag

When Todoroki arrived at the hospital, he paused at the entrance, his gaze fixed on the bouquet of dahlias in his hand. The vibrant petals stood out sharply against the sterile white surroundings of the building, and for a moment, doubt crept in. Was this a mistake? Should he have stayed home? Couldn't he have just sent an apology email or made a call instead? Why was he here, standing in front of these doors? Doubts filled him, but just as quickly as they appeared, they were pushed aside. Something about this moment—about seeing you and apologizing face-to-face—pulled at him in a way he couldn’t explain. It felt necessary, like a weight he couldn’t ignore. The urge to make things right, to apologize properly, tangled with an unclear mess of emotions, stronger than his uncertainty. The thought of seeing you again was both tempting and terrifying, and he couldn’t quite understand why.

With a deep breath, he steadied himself, taking one last look at the bouquet before stepping forward. His body seemed to move almost on its own, urging him forward as if it knew better than his mind. It felt pointless to resist, and he hated not fully understanding himself. Usually, everything was clear and simple, but now, the confusion, the unknown, and the awkwardness destabilized him.

Clutching the bouquet like a shield, Todoroki walked through the unfamiliar halls. Nurses and staff gave him curious glances—heroes usually arrived with an ambulance, not alone—but he ignored their stares as he normally did when he was in public. His focus was solely inward; his heart was racing, fast, too different from its usual calm beat. As he tried to compose himself, he knew this wasn’t just nervousness; it was something else, something hard to name. Todoroki could barely distinguish it, buried under so many feelings and the he closer he got to the hero wing, the more intense the feeling became. He was painfully aware of how each steps made his pulse race, and him self-conscious of his heart pumping loudly in his chest and ears.

When he reached the front desk, he paused for a moment, swallowing, preparing himself and trying to stay composed, as the receptionist looked up at him, briefly eyeing the bouquet before offering a polite, practiced smile.

"Good morning, how may I help you?"

"Good morning," Todoroki replied, his voice quieter than usual, and he mentally shook off his awkwardness before continuing. "I was here a few days ago, and… I was wondering if it would be possible to see the doctor who was in charge of my care during my hospitalization."

The receptionist’s fingers hovered over the keyboard as he typed. After a few seconds, he turned his attention back to Todoroki. "Of course. If you have questions about your treatment or would like a follow-up consultation, Dr. Hasegawa would be happy to schedule an appointment with you."

Todoroki nodded absentmindedly, but his thoughts had already wandered. Dr. Hasegawa... So that was your name. It floated in his mind: Dr. Hasegawa, I’m sorry for my behavior, he thought, trying to figure out what he would say when he faced you. I apologize for acting so inappropriately. Please let me make it up to you... maybe I could buy you a coffee after work?, but he immediately dismissed the thought.

Todoroki barely noticed how tightly he had been gripping the bouquet, the delicate stems pressing into his fingers, but he didn’t loosen his hold. He was still lost in his thoughts, and he couldn’t understand why he felt so anxious, on top of that, now the flowers seemed like such a strange gesture. When was the last time he’d bought flowers for anyone who wasn’t his mother? He couldn’t even remember. Maybe for Bakugo? That one time? Giving you flowers seemed more and more odd with each passing second, but he knew he couldn’t just throw them away now. A small part of him was still wondering if the flowers colors would truly match your eyes, as he had imagined back in the flower shop.

This was supposed to be a quick visit, just to apology to you. He was only here to make amends—no need for coffee or flowers, no need for anything beyond that. And yet, there he was, dahlias in hands, and feeling a flutter of anticipation building in his chest, an unexplained excitement buzzing through him.

“He’s currently in a consultation but should be available to meet with you in about twenty to thirty minutes. Will that be alright?”

Todoroki blinked, startled. He? There was no he.

“My doctor was a woman,” he said slowly, his brow furrowing in confusion.

The receptionist looked equally confused by his words, and he checked his computer before replying. "No, the doctor who treated you was Dr. Haruto Hasegawa, and he’s definitely a man."

There was now way he could have been wrong, he was sure of it and in his memory of the moment, although blurry , he could still clearly remember you: your eyes, your hair, the curve of your lips, your hands—everything about you had looked so pretty in his eyes. He was certain it was a woman who clung to his mind, like a shadow he longed to fade with time.

“There must be some mistake,” he said, sure of himself. “A doctor came to check on me in the afternoon and I saw her, it wasn’t a man.”

“In the afternoon?” The receptionist frowned, his tone taking on a slightly exasperated edge. “It says here that Dr. Hasegawa treated you in the morning, and he was in surgery all afternoon.” His gaze flicked back to Todoroki, the growing impatience evident. “Doctors don’t usually handle post-treatment checkups unless it’s an exception.”

This just didn’t make sense to Todoroki and as he opened his mouth to argue further, the receptionist’s expression shifted. His eyes lit up, as though he’d just pieced together a puzzle.

“Wait a second,” he said, fingers flying across the keyboard once again. “It was probably Nurse Asuna Shimizu. The nurses handle most of the checkups after treatments, and according to your file, she was assigned to you during your stay.”

For a moment, Todoroki faltered. He had been so sure it was a woman—but whether you were a doctor or a nurse? He wasn’t certain anymore. Now, he wondered if he’d completely missed the pastel pink of your hospital scrubs. After all, he hadn’t exactly been focused on your uniform that day—his attention had been caught by... well, everything else about you. You were a vivid image against the foggy backdrop of his memory.

“I guess you’re right. I might’ve been mistaken,” he admitted reluctantly, though uncertainty lingered in his voice. “Would it still be possible to see her?”

“Of course,” the receptionist replied smoothly. “I’ll call her now, she should be in the break room, so it won’t take too long.”

As the receptionist made the phone call, “An ex-patient wants to see you again, probably about his treatment I don’t know. It’s a pro hero.” Todoroki stood there awkwardly and stiffly.

The unfamiliar ticking of anxiety crawled through his veins, unraveling his nerves with every heartbeat. His held his breath every time he heard footsteps approaching from behind, and he fought the urge to whip his head around, afraid of appearing too eager or worse, desperate.

The wait stretched on endlessly, and he stared blankly at the sterile hospital walls as he tried to keep his thoughts from spiraling. His palms felt clammy, and his throat dried out despite his repeated attempts to swallow. The stems of the dahlias, crushed and fragile beneath his restless fingers, bore the burden of his agitation and he prayed silently that his jittery state wasn’t so visible to anyone nearby. When the receptionist finally spoke again, Todoroki felt the ground shift beneath him.

“Oh, Asuna, you’re here. Here is the patient who wanted to meet with you.”

Todoroki froze. The wave of emotions that had been brewing all day—restlessness, anticipation, and fear—crashed over him all at once as his breath hitched. This is it, he thought, his heart hammering against his ribs.

Slowly, he turned around, as though he was bracing himself for the sight of you while the memory of your sweet peach scent tugged at him like a siren’s call, and demanded him to turn faster.

Todoroki’s heart sank at the sight of the nurse. The woman who approached wasn’t you; her hair, eyes, height, and face bore no resemblance to the seared image of you that he held in his mind. But the most glaring difference, the one that sealed it instantly, was her scent.

Scents were undeniable markers of identity—a fact anyone with a decent nose understood. It wasn’t usually a big deal; people were described as “the omega with the citrusy scent” or “the Alpha who smells like coffee beans,” just as casually as someone’s hair color or complexion might be noted. But your scent had been different. He wasn’t sure if it was his premature heat that made him more sensitive, but it had struck him like a physical blow, enveloping him completely and commanding his attention in a way he hadn’t been able to shake since.

The soft lavender and floral notes emanating from Nurse Shimizu weren’t unpleasant, sure, but they didn’t come close to the syrupy sweetness of peaches that had lingered around you. That scent—your scent—felt addictive, disorienting in its intensity, and it had burned itself into his mind more than he liked to admit. Whoever Asuna Shimizu was supposed to be, her scent clearly told him she was not you and definitely not an alpha too. Nothing about it poked and tease his omega like yours had.

Todoroki’s stomach twisted with a bitter ache. He felt foolish for expecting anything different. Maybe you were purposely avoiding him, and who could blame you? He had acted so shamefully during his heat, basically threw himself at you, and let his instincts overshadow his judgment. His mate's breaking your face had only made things horrifically worse. He was so focused on seeing you again that he forgot how serious the situation was and the guilt he felt soared from this realization, which only made him feel even more disappointed in himself. He had been acting so strangely over the past few days, wondering about trivial, selfish and superficial matters instead of how his actions impacted you. He know from experience how a punch from Kirishima could knocked you down and how disgusting unwanted sexual advances felt.

"Nurse Shimizu," Todoroki began, after he approached her maintained respectful distance. "I understand if your colleague doesn’t want to see me again. My mate and I behaved inexcusably, and I want to offer my sincere apologies. Please let her know she can contact my agency if she wishes to seek any form of compensation." He said, serious, measured and polite as possible, wanting to cause any further trouble for you or, what he assumed, your nurse friend.

It took Asuna a moment to piece everything together, before realization flashed through her eyes and she stepped closer to Todoroki, lowering her voice so only he could hear.

“When were you hospitalized?” she asked, her suspicions growing clearer after his response. Her fingers anxiously tugged at the edge of her sleeve as she pressed on, her tone tinged with nervousness. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you and Dr. L/n, but... is there any chance we can keep the hospital out of this? I know I shouldn’t have asked her to cover for me, but... whatever happened could be sorted out privately, right?” She let out an awkward laugh, clearly unaware of the incident between the pro hero and you, and her focus instead on ensuring her little escape from work remained unnoticed. Her eyes flickered around the room to check no one could over hear her little confession before they landed on the bouquet in Todoroki’s hands, a spark of curiosity breaking through her tension.

“Are those... flowers?” she asked, her voice a little lighter, in a terrible attempt at shifting the topic after the lack of response from Todoroki.

He blinked, caught off guard by the question. "Yes. Could you give them to her? As an apolo—"

Before he could finish, the nurse interrupted him. "She left early that day and hasn’t been back since. But I could tell her you want to see her when she is back ?” She offered.

The words hit Todoroki like a brick. You weren’t here. You hadn’t been here for three days, and it was undeniable—he was the reason for your absence. He had spent so much time thinking about you since arriving at the hospital, yet the truth slammed into him again: his thoughts had been filled with peaches, warmth, and beauty, while the reality was far darker. He couldn't escape the image of your tears, the memory of his unrelenting grip on your wrist as you tried to leave, the sickening sound of Kirishima’s fist connecting with his face, and the heavy, metallic scent of your blood staining the hospital’s sterile white floor. Now, all he could see was the wreckage he had caused you, and the painful realization that perhaps the only apology he truly needed to offer was leaving you alone.

Don’t tell me you thought it would be that easy. The reader is over there thinking her life is over, and you think she’s just going to go back to work?

Todoroki is a mess in this chapter, blushing and acting bashful like a high schooler with his first crush (this will make sense later). But, I didn’t want to downplay what happened to the reader too much. Todoroki should at least be aware of the consequences of his actions. I thought ending on a serious note would provide a nice contrast to the silly ending of the previous chapter. God I hope I didn’t write myself in a corner but I think I’ll make it work.

I think we’ve seen enough of Todoroki for now—next chapter will focus on Izuku! I know Todoroki may seem like my favorite character in this fic since, aside from the reader, he’s had the most POV chapters (probably more than the reader), but surprisingly, he’s not actually my favorite from the group. Don’t worry, though. I’m not playing favorites in thisbdix. Everyone will get their fair share of attention and dedicated chapters. We’re just starting off with a lot of Todoroki.

2,2k words, the chapter is extra long as an apology to the wait. Oh yeah, I am still waiting on the polls results but I’ll be honest, I maybe just decide for something else.

As always, criticisms are welcome.

Big thank you to @cafekitsune who made the beautiful dividers

06 <- 07 -> 08

My apologies if I forgot anyone in the taglist. This taglist is lowkey getting out of hand 😭

-> If you want to tag in the next update, check out the taglist post !

Taglist: @too-much-gacha ; @electronicexpertshark ; @poopopp ; @cjdjfhfhfufjfdj ; @kimi01985 ; @icycoldbeanieweanies ; @ghostlyworld ; @marsbars09 ; @queenondeezmatatas ; @imnotherw ; @bedheadloser ; @chrisbiniesluvrr ; @fsocs-blog ; @jadeddangel ; @qardasngan ; @omgeyeless-blog ; @goldenglow149 ; @andysteve1311 ; @pinkmelodies ; @hopefulb1ue ; @redkarmakai ; @zukusluvr ; @navezepol221 ; @candiiee ; @aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaq ; @mniya ; @randomhuman112 ; @mintvender r ; @deadendgrim ; @captainswanarcher ; @figbaby ; @midnight-nightmare ; @bluepatrolbear ; @talilosha ; @bawlangya ; @optimisticprime3 ; @purplescorpi0 ; @astrolovedy ; @desiree-lee ; @okaysxx ; @the-faceless-bride ; @thelameone101 ; @gethexxed ; @lowkeyhottho ; @bvirrious ; @heespretty ; @roxy776699 ; @kamy-thee-egg ; @talia-the-gemini ; @pikachuzhc ; @itsnotjustmyself-blog ; @roxy776699 ; @mystic60 ; @reallysparklychaos ; @sixxze ; @blurryperrtymoonlight ; @1poison-cat1 ; @allyfoxglove ; @mindsbloody ; @jkvolgs ; @haruaikawa ; @k3nmakyan ; @my-anime-garden

[jasntodds]

Penace [5]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 13,401

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, panic attack (jason), ptsd (jason), hurt/comfort, mention of scars

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update!! I had a bunch of stuff going on last month and stuff happened and I just did not have the mental capacity to edit this chapter. I'm so sorry!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

The next morning rolls around leaving Jason to wake up first. You're still sound asleep facing him, some of your hair covering your face. Jason takes a tentative finger and moves some of the strands from your face. He takes this time to exist. Sleep always came easier when you were around. Less nightmares, not as much tossing and turning, no insomnia. It was always easier with you around and last night was no different.

You fell asleep first just as you usually did when he read to you. You were cuddled into his side and it felt like it always did for that half hour. Just the two of you in bed together with a book and enough trauma for the both of you. Jason thinks you're both really good at being able to exist in a moment as if nothing happened. There's something in you that allows you both to ignore it all even for a few minutes and just pretend to be who you were before instead of just skin and bones.

The world, people, expect you both to be something specific, to act a certain way. You told him once, in a sort of one-off conversation, you felt like people expected something different. At the tower, you always felt like the others expected you to remain quiet or be angry all the time, to snap at some point. Maybe you did. But, your blood was never filled with anger but grief for what you should have been able to have. When Jason died and you got angry, they expected the silence. They expected the grief to hit you like a train. They expected you to quit, get revenge on the Joker before Bruce did. They expected more than rage-filled blood and red-stained hands. And they expected you to move on because what else was there to do? He was dead. And you were alone. People put up expectations and in some ways you feel like you need to meet some of them. Be more careful, get angry, snap, pretend like it's all fine because it's always been fine. But, then you lay down with Jason and you can watch movies and talk about your mom and you can exist in a way that you want without the weight of expectations collapsing your lungs.

Everyone thinks Jason is angry, always has even before he died. He was never angry. He was upset and hurt and didn't know where to put it. He was never angry but everyone expected him to be so he played into it. They expected him to be some sort of fuck boy so he played into it. They expected him to be reckless and so he was. Maybe he was always a little reckless, no one forced him to rob the Batmobile or go with the red hoods when he was a teenager. But they expect it. And now...Jason can feel it. They expect him to lose his mind and until then, they expect him to be fine. He lived, right? Joker is dead, Bruce avenged his death, and he was brought back. He should be fine, right?

They expect him to be fine without ever considering the scars lingering on his chest or marking up his mind like scuffed up wood. But with you, there are no expectations. He is allowed to read and tell you about theater stuff. He is allowed to have nightmares and be scared. He is allowed to just be. When Jason is around you, he's allowed to exist in a way that he wants without the weight of expectations strangling the life out of him.

Maybe that's why you can exist in moments like these as if nothing ever happened. It is the only time neither of you are facing some false hope of expectations. It is the only time you both can be damaged in all your glory. It is the only time you're allowed to bear your scars with pride and show the beauty they've left behind. You can just...be.

He eyes you softly, brows pinched together and you look so peaceful. He wants nothing more than to pull you into him and sleep like this all day. But it is not his place. He's surprised you stayed in the first place let alone stayed in bed with him. He is so glad you did but there is so much you haven't talked about. So much happened and there's just so much between you. He wonders if you'll ever be able to recover or if this is all you'll be. Just a one-off sleepover sometimes.

He doesn't like that idea very much.

Jason forces himself to get out of bed and make his way to the training area where he keeps his fridge. He expects to be able to grab a few eggs and make an omelet, see what else he has and maybe he could make you (and Tim) pancakes. But, as he enters the room, Tim is seated at the table with a tablet open and his brows pinched together.

"Oh, hey." Tim chimes, offering Jason a wave and a glance before he looks back to the tablet. "I made toast and a pot of coffee." Tim explains.

Jason scratches his head before he shakes it and fully enters the room. "Right, yeah, okay." Jason clears his throat, trying to get rid of the sleep still etched in his tone. "Did you even fucking sleep?"

"Yeah, of course." Tim brushes the question, voice still chipper and a part of it reminds Jason of how Gar usually was at the tower. "Early riser."

"A roof fell on top of you last night." Jason states as he walks over to the coffee pot seeing about a quarter of a cup left. He lets out a sigh before he dumps the pot in the sink and starts a fresh pot.

"Oh, yeah but I'm fine." Tim shakes it off.

Jason can almost hear your voice in his head telling him to push for an answer. A roof fell on top of him and his boyfriend is in a coma. Jason does not buy for a single second that he's simply an early riser. No one is an early riser with this job, not if you want more than three hours of sleep a night. It would be responsible of him to ask Tim if he were okay.

"Seriously, you alright?" Jason asks as he leans against the table to face Tim.

Tim looks up at him and while he knew some of Jason before, this is different. The most of Jason he knows is actually Red Hood related. You didn't talk a lot about him when you hung out and he only spoke to Jason a handful of times, usually about his order at Excellent Gotham. There wasn't much said about Bruce Wayne's newest son. Instead, he knows Red Hood is ruthless, brutal, and scary. He is intimidating and will kill someone if need be. He knows Red Hood almost got his dad killed and almost got you killed and got Dick killed. His association with Crane got him killed. Tim knows Red Hood is someone he wants on his side because if he's not, that could be for the worst.

But, he's looking at Jason Todd who happens to be Red Hood and in this moment he doesn't feel like any of those things. He feels like he did when you introduced him. Normal. Calm. Nice. Tim knew there was more to Red Hood. Not only did he meet Jason and he trusts your general opinion of people, but Tim doesn't believe anyone is as two-dimensional as they may seem. Yet, some part of him almost feels surprised with Jason asking if he's okay but it doesn't feel like it's out of obligation. Instead, it feels like he might actually be genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine." Tim answers. "Just..." Tim lets out a breath. "Gar said they haven't made any progress with Bernard. And I'm here..." Tim trails off. "Almost getting crushed by a roof and getting trained by you and y/n."

Jason pushes off the table as the coffee pot dings. "You've only been here like two days." Jason states as he makes his way back over to the coffee. "How'd it happen?" Jason asks as he starts to pour himself a cup, making sure to leave enough for you.

"Some video game thing that Brother Blood released." Tim groans. "No one knows how to get anyone out of their comas."

"Look," Jason starts as he walks back over to Tim. "That fucking sucks, alright? But, you and the Titans will figure it out. You're a genius, man." Jason lets out this scoff that comes out as a chuckle. "The way I see it, all those people and Bernard are lucky to have you looking out for 'em."

"Yeah, except I suck at this." Tim lets out a groan, tilting his head back. "I mean, Dick was...incredible. He was so good at this whole thing and he still is. And then you took over and you were just as great." Tim pauses for a few seconds as Jason watches the defeat start to wash over his features. "How am I supposed to live up to that when I can't even get any intel on this guy? When I can't even figure out a damn video game?!"

"Didn't you choose to be Robin?" Jason asks.

"Yeah but y/n said—"

"I died as Robin." Jason cuts him off because it doesn't matter what you said or didn't say. Jason knows Tim is going to be great at this. "Don't take what she says to heart too much. Her viewpoint of Robin will always be tainted because I died. Because it involved Bruce. You chose this, man." Jason points a finger at him. "No one else is crazy enough to do that, not after me. But you did. That means something. Don't get in your head about it, alright? You're smart as fuck and you're capable."

"But what if I was wrong?" Tim asks knowing it takes a special kind of confidence to not only volunteer to be Robin following Dick and Jason but to have the confidence he could do it.

"Dick wouldn't have asked you to be Robin if he thought you were." Jason says it so simply. "We were trained by Bruce for months before we put on the mask and cape, just remember that." Jason states as he takes a sip of his coffee.

"Thank you." Tim offers a soft smile. "Didn't think you'd be the pep talk kind of guy."

"I'm not." Jason lets out a booming cackle. "So don't go telling people I am."

Tim lets out a soft laugh before he locks the tablet. "She still sleeping?" He decides not to push his luck and changes subject, surprised not to see Sam yet.

Jason nods softly. "Yeah, letting her sleep."

"She doesn't sleep a lot, that's what Gar said...that Molly said."

"Yeah..." Jason pulls in a breath as his heart starts to break. "Comes with the job sometimes." Jason only half-lies.

"She's sleeping now." Tim gains a cheeky smile.

"Shut up." Jason groans and he not getting into any of that with Tim. Nope. "Did you want something more than toast?" Jason immediately changes subject before Tim can try to return the pep talk favor for relationship advice. "Toast is a shit breakfast." Jason puts his Wonder Woman mug down before he gets up.

Tim offers a chuckle. "Uh...yeah, I could eat something else."

Jason looks through some cabinets and the fridge. "Omelet or pancakes?"

"Omelet?" Tim questions softly. "Didn't think I'd have an option." Tim did not thnk Jason could really cook, given the whole eggs, beer, and cheese comment.

"Was making both anyway." Jason retorts. He's just trying to be nice.

Tim lets out a laugh. "Oh, I get it."

"If you don't shut up, we won't train today." Jason almost wants to shut his head in the fridge door with his comment. Who the fuck is he? Dick? Gar? Ugh.

Meanwhile, you're finally stirring awake to an empty and cold bed. Your hand reaches over and you feel the spot where Jason was is cold. Your eyes peek open to see he's no longer there or even in the room. It's not that you should have expected him to be you think but there's a part of you that's still disappointed. Somewhere in your head you almost hoped you'd wake up together and you'd have one of your awkward realizations together. You'd stumble over yourselves and your words but it'd feel like home. It'd be warm and comfortable anyway. And then you'd find your footing where it almost felt safest, in the mix of bantering and flirting. But, he's gone. You're not sure that feeling is something you'd ever be able to get used to.

But, you get up anyway, stretching before you get out of bed. You grab one of Jason's hoodies from the table, tugging it over your head as you walk out of the room. You head to the room with the fridge that you're not sure you should really call a kitchen since there's all the training equipment in there, too. Why is he like this?

As you get closer, you hear Jason's laughter bouncing off the walls. Your heart skips a beat and you don't even notice the way the corners of your mouth perk up into a tender smile. You pause just to listen for a few seconds while his laughter subsides and he goes on with his story. He tells Tim some story about a fight with the Riddler and how mad he was. You've heard the story before but hearing him talk so casually and lightly about his Robin days makes you want to burst.

In the few times you've talked of Robin, there's been a sense of bitterness and sadness surrounding the mantle but now he's laughing and joking. He has stories that aren't tied with grief and pain. Robin always meant the entire world to him and you're so happy he seems to still have some of that joy telling the stories. You think maybe he is getting better. Maybe Leslie really is helping him again.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Jason quips as you walk into the room.

You clear your throat sarcastically. "Get fucked."

Jason flips you off with a tender smile while Tim lets out a laugh.

"Guess I won't make you pancakes then." Jason shrugs dramatically and you know it's a hollow threat but it is also not a chance you're willing to take.

Your eyes narrow slightly before a smile comes to your lips again. "Do not get fucked."

Jason tilts his head and lets out a laugh. "Dunno, think it'll help?"

You shake your head. "You are a bit uptight."

"Look who's fucking talking." Jason waves the spatula at her.

"I am so not uptight." You laugh as you take a seat beside Tim.

"Well." Tim adds in with a shake of his head and the scrunch of his nose.

"The fuck does that mean, Tim?" Your eyes widen at him.

Tim's eyes widen slightly back at her before he quickly looks to Jason. He might help him with Robin but if he wants to go back and forth with you on this front, that's all him. Jason will let him sink. He knows exactly which side he should always be on and it's wherever you are.

"You're on your own." Jason chimes, waving a spatula in the air as he turns back to the stove, the first batch of pancakes already on the burner.

"Nothing." Tim shakes his head with a smile.

"Right." You laugh softly as you roll your eyes.

Jason walks over with a mug in hand. He hands it off to you and your brows quickly raise seeing it's your Supergirl mug from the manor. You packed and moved but forgot the mug. While things aren't...bad per se, between you and Bruce, you did not go back for anything you forgot and you almost laugh. You may not have gone back but clearly Jason at the very least took your mug, likely with the intention to give it to Molly to give to you.

"Thank you." You hold your mug up to him as he goes to walk away.

"You're welcome." Jason gives you a bright and cheeky smile.

"So, what're we going today?" You ask the boys while Jason finishes breakfast.

"I really got to find this Venta guy and get back." Tim states.

"Figure we'll eat, train a bit, then help Tim here try to get some intel." Jason explains, finishing the pancakes before he moves onto the omelets.

"Sounds good." You suck in a breath, pulling out your phone to send a quick text to Molly to let her know you're awake and what the plan is.

Jason finishes up your breakfast before joining you and Tim at the table with three plates in hand, a delicate balancing act on his way. Tim offers a quick thank you before digging in, the toast clearly not holding him over too well. You offer Jason a tender smile before you dig in. Your chest warms and your skin bursts with goosebumps knowing Jason made pancakes for you.

Jason offers such a specific type of subtle kindness that seems to be overlooked by a lot of people. It's not so much in his words which after all this time, you figured out it's just because he's not too good at expressing himself most of the time. For him, actions say everything that gets caught in his throat. And it's not just with you he does it with. Bruce preferred his omelet differently and Jason never even asked, he always just made an extra one with the things Bruce liked. Gar mentioned he was looking for a few Saga comics and Jason found them and shipped them to Titans tower just because he could. He always offers to help Molly with anything she's working on. He extends his kindness with actions just to display how much he cares about the people who offer him the same kindness.

You think it's one of your favorite things about him.

The three of you finish up your food and get changed for training. The three of you take your time stretching and getting ready to allow your food to settle a little. Training starts just as it did yesterday, Jason taking the first round and then you. Tim still doesn't stand a chance but you and Jason can already see some improvement the longer you train which comes as a big relief. 

After training, the three of you get suited up and head out, deciding to go to the marina this time. Tim rides with you, hoping to find something out tonight. He feels like he's running out of time. Meanwhile, you and Jason are looking to see how he does not in a training room with a safety net. A roof fell on him last night and he seems incredibly unbothered. To you, it only feels right to have him out on the streets anyway, even if it's under false pretenses. So, while you're "looking" for Venta or trying to get intel on him, you're also patrolling, showing Tim the ropes, teaching him the art of grappling between buildings. This is all just more training, making sure he'll be safe out there in the open without the security blanket of you and Jason or the Titans or being in one location. Jason and you think Tim will be just fine. He's smart and capable, he pays attention. This is not a game to him.

It matters.

It always mattered to Dick and Jason, too but it's different with Tim. Bruce offered Robin to Dick and Jason. They were his sons. Batman and Robin. They had months and months of training and while it was hard and brutal at times, there was something that felt magical about the whole thing. It felt surreal. With Tim, it's as if he feels he is obligated to fill the role. Unlike Dick and Jason, Tim chose it and there's somehow more pressure in that for him to prove himself. Tim is generally someone who can focus on things that are important and serious, but this is different. It is his life. It's the life of innocent people. He's having fun, sure, but he's taking it even more seriously than Jason and Dick ever did. It doesn't help he's trying to fill their shoes, something Jason does understand.

After hours of looking and patrolling, you don't turn anything up and head back to Jason's. Tim is incredibly disappointed by his inability to find anything out but you and you assure him that if Venta were in town or if anyone knew anything, they would have spilled with the two of you being around anyway. Between the three of you, someone would have told you some sort of information. You both remind him how easy it was to get information from the people you did question about other cases. Some people are harder but getting intel on one person rarely ever results in no answers. The reassurance does make Tim feel a little bit better about it.

While Tim is feeling a bit better and you're confident in his abilities, feeling pretty good actually, the case is not the same for Jason. Some days are just better than others and today is not one of those days. Waking up with you was refreshing but he's finding that to be the best part of his day because Tim put on the Robin suit. Jason isn't mad or bitter about it. It has nothing to do with it but something about it is causing him anxiety. Something about seeing Tim in the suit, or maybe just another rendition of the suit, makes him want to explode and run and cry and scream. He's been biting it down all day because it's his problem not Tim's. He hates it but something about it is pulling him back to Amusement Mile. Something about it is pulling him back to the anti-fear drug and Cran'e reign. Something about it is making him feel so small and useless. He thought he was making progress but you're back at his home and he's never felt so disconnected from everything. He thinks it's so dumb to feel upset and panicky over this.

He swears it's fine.

"I'm gonna shower." Jason clears his throat before excusing himself to head off to his bedroom as quickly as he can, trying not to raise any alarms.

Your eyes linger on the doorway. Jason might as well have run out of the door with how quickly he excused himself. You heard a slight tremble in his voice. It was sharper than usual and his steps weren't as light as they usually are.

"Is he okay?" Tim asks as he walks over to grab the suitcase for his suit.

You look back at Tim and nod once. During your patrol, you could tell something switched. Jason's been in a good mood and pretty casual about everything, generally speaking. Being in a good mood and things going well always seemed to poke a hole into his head a bit. And today, out there doing your thing, he was quieter, more focused. He's always focused but this was laserlike almost and you're supposed to be helping Tim. You'd make some sort of quip and all you'd get is a disguised chuckle from behind his helmet. If you know anything, it's knowing Jason Todd is in fact, not fine.

"Yeah, no I'm sure he's fine." You brush it off, figuring you'll check on him in a few minutes. "I kept him up pretty late so he's just tired, probably." You nod again, Tim not buying any of it.

"He was up before you were." Tim states as he walks back over to you with his case. "It's not my business, just..." Tim shrugs dramatically, showing genuine concern for Jason's well-being.

Your eyes go to your boots and then back to him. "Yeah, uh...yeah." You nod your head. "I'll check on him in a few minutes. I'm sure he's fine, Tim." You offer him a fake smile.

Jason's head is spinning while his arms are practically vibrating themselves from his body. His muscles are going so weak he can barely turn the water on for a shower. The air is thick and stale through his lungs, burning with every breath. His stomach twists and his eyes start to water despite his best efforts to stop it. The world around him starts to feel like it's closing in and suffocating the life from his lungs. The shower pelts the porcelain flooring, he swears he can hear you and Tim talking and walking from down the hall. His heartbeat is radiating through his ear canals and the passing cars sound like they might drive right through his new home. Everything is growing louder and louder and the thoughts start to kick in. They take a battering ram to the walls and that's when he can't even bear to stand anymore.

Jason carries the heartbreak of death on his shoulders and it is crushing every part of him.

Tim leaves you to go change and you follow his lead, heading for a bathroom. You take your time, giving Jason enough time to gather himself if he needs to before you go to check on him. And for a second, you almost even second-guess it. You haven't spoken in a month and a half, you're just now trying this whole friend thing, is it really your place? When Tim leaves, will you just go back to not talking with no obligation in the middle of you? What if you're wrong anyway? Maybe Jason has changed a little bit in this time and maybe he was just more focused because a roof fell on all of you yesterday. You run yourself in circles, not wanting to overstep and mind his space. Jason always liked his personal space, maybe a little too much but you don't want to intrude. You always felt like you were just intruding in people's lives, a mismatched puzzle piece trying to make yourself fit. It's not what you want to do to him.

Being around him was one of the only places you felt like you belonged. And Jason was the one that always made you feel that way.

You make your way to Jason's room once you're in your regular clothes because you can't bear not to check on him. He would do it for you and you know him. Despite it all, you're certain you always know when something isn't quite right with him. So, you make your way to his room and let yourself inside, shutting the door behind you.

You can hear the shower echoing from the en suite bathroom. The door is closed but you're relieved that he's in the shower and not losing his entire mind in his bed. You look around his room some more and you wonder what else he plans to do with it. You think it must feel more like a home than the manor did. Back at the Tower, he had some stuff on the walls that he picked up because the room was his. He graffitied the walls. It was his and it felt like his. But, the room in the manor still had a poster of the Flying Graysons. Jason didn't decorate the walls, something that always made you sad because it should have felt like a home to him. You never asked but you wondered why it didn't. It couldn't have just been Bruce because of how Jason views him. So, you wonder if it was because maybe he didn't think he deserved the manor or maybe it was that he felt like a replacement and someone else would come in to replace him anyway. Maybe it was a safety precaution for his own feelings of being left behind. You aren't sure but you hope this place feels like a home and he gets to decorate his walls.

The shower is still echoing through the door but you can hear the water clearly, no disturbance or movement. Your brows pull together as you make your way to the bathroom and knock softly. You don't get any answer and you don't hear any movement behind the door.

"Jay?" You ask as you knock louder this time. A lump forms in your throat while your heartbeat starts to spike. Your stomach burns and your teeth grit together. You remember the day on the roof. "Jason, are you okay?" You call again and don't get anything in response.

Your hand goes to the door handle and you pause for a second. And it's just a second before you open the door slowly. You carefully peek your head around the door, your eyes landing on the walk-in shower. The frosted glass door is open while water ricochets onto the white tile floor. And then there's Jason. He's seated, fully clothed in the shower, his knees are tugged to his chest while his arms are wrapped entirely around his shins. His head is buried in his knees and all you can do is shake your head in devastation.

You walk inside and close the distance between you. You keep your stance from outside of the shower, trying to mind his personal space.

"Jay?" You try again and you get nothing from him. It's as if he doesn't even register you in the room which might be one of the biggest red flags when it comes to Jason Todd. He is nothing but on guard.

You walk back to the door and shut it, just in case. Then you kick off your shoes and tug your hoodie off your head before you close the distance between you again. This time, you enter the shower, immediately getting pelted by warm water as you kneel down right in front of him.

"Jay, hey." You call his name again but this time, your hands are delicate and careful as you put them on his cheeks. He jumps immediately, head hooting up with eyes terrified and red. He looks panicked for just a few seconds until his brain catches up with what he's seeing. Your teeth grind together seeing the look of pain across his face. It's written in every line and feature you'd fallen so in love with over the last year. Your hands come to his cheeks again, just as tender as they were before and he doesn't even flinch this time. "What's going on?" You ask softly. Jason shakes his head against your hands and his eyes dodge yours and he feels embarrassed and exposed. Of course, you'd find him.

You always find him.

You always see him.

"It's you and me." Your voice is careful as your thumbs run over his skin. "I'm worried about you. What happened?" You brush the white streak of hair from his face.

"Loud." Jason's voice comes out hoarse and small and his bottom lip trembles. It takes every muscle in his body not to let out a sob.

"Okay." You nod your head once, the look of worry almost permanently etched into your features. If Jason had the strength, he'd push you away just to get you to stop worrying so much. He doesn't deserve it. You don't deserve it. "What happened?" You ask quietly, the water now completely soaking your hair.

Jason offers the weakest shrug you have ever seen. "Don't know." Why do you want to help him? Can't you see the monster he's become? His lip starts to tremble again as he tries to get a breath in but the tears are coming back and he can't breathe out of his nose. The water is dripping into his mouth and he almost thinks it'd be easier to just drown right here.

Not a day goes by that you aren't worried about him. It doesn't matter if you haven't spoken. It wouldn't matter if you hated him, as if that were even possible. You'd worry about him because Jason Todd has done everything to be enough. He has done everything to be happy and somehow, he's still the one sitting in a shower in tears because the world around him is suffocating. Yes, the whole Robin thing was worrisome. The whole Red Hood thing is worrisome. He gets shot out for fun. He taunts people because he thinks it's fun. Someone else is going to kill him one day, that much is certain. And while that is worrisome, you've also seen the damage people he loves have caused him. It doesn't have to be physical damage because Jason's own brain wants to torture him and it uses everyone else's words as some sort of infinite ammo. The vigilante thing is worrisome, but where Jason's head is, that's the real thing that's worrying.

It wouldn't matter if you hated each other, you would rip every false and cruel thought that ever crosses his mind.

You let go of his face and move your hands to his. You're careful, lightly pulling his hands apart and away from his legs. Once his legs are free, you move to the side and lightly press on his knees until his legs are stretched out in front of him. The whole thing is making Jason watch you with careful eyes and it's almost a distraction and then you climb on top of him. You straddle his lap, Jason's eyes never leaving you and it almost causes him more panicky. He might know you better than he knows himself, but he very rarely knows what you'll do in moments like these. But then, you don't say anything. All you do is wrap your arms around his neck and pull him for a hug.

Jason tenses up just as he's done before but after a few seconds, a part of him relaxes against you. He gathers a full breath into his lungs and it's as if he's giving his body permission to lose it all again, in the comfort of you. His arms wrap around your middle and his grip is so tight as he lets out a sob, you can't breathe. You think you'd suffocate if it allowed him any type of relief.

It is all just too much. The weight on his chest is too heavy and he doesn't think he can carry it. He goes out and he murders people. They may be very bad people but it's what he does and he thinks about how Bruce is so mad about it. He tries to be understanding but they will never come to an understanding over it. It will be a matter of time before Jason ends up an enemy to Batman and by default, an enemy to Bruce. What makes what Jason is doing different than what the Joker did to him? To Jason, Batman and Robin were the Joker's enemies, right? And he took care of a problem, the same way Jason is taking care of problems. Jason might not be the instigator in it, but he's doing the same crime. Was Bruce right about it? Is he any different than the Joker?

Most days, it is a thing that he lives with. It's for the greater good and his soul is already damaged, it's already the property of something that isn't quite him anymore. It's always just waiting in an in-between for his second round at death. He does it so other people won't have to. He does it so other people won't feel like him or you or Bruce or Dick or Molly or any of them. He does it to help because people get forgotten. That's what he tells himself but right now, he can't quite figure out if that's really the right thing. He doesn't know what else he's supposed to do. If this isn't supposed to be the answer, then what is? What if it isn't and he can't come back from it anyway? His hands are already stained with so much blood.

And because of that, he falls back into his routine way of thinking. He is damaged. He is broken and scarred, physically and mentally now. Everything around him crumbles at his feet. He tries so fucking hard to be something that's easy to swallow and digest but he fucks that up, too because no one really expects him to be like that. He breaks everyone around him and all he does is hurt people. They try to offer him love and kindness and he bites through it like a rabid coyote. He is undeserving. Someone who is deserving doesn't push and they don't hurt people for being kind. They don't destroy people. That's all he has ever done.

And then he fucking died. It might have been scary and traumatizing but there was a moment, right before everything went dark where he accepted his fate. That would be it. No one else would have to suffer for his mistakes. He was going to die and some people might be sad for a little bit, but they would move on. And he wouldn't fuck up their lives anymore. And he wouldn't suffer anymore.

The ache in his bones would be gone and the voice would be quiet. All of the pain he's dealt with would just be...gone. He would take his last breath, and that would be it. He has hurt for so long that there was a moment where he accepted his fate, that it might just be better and easier this way. He did not want to die and he wishes he were able to have put up a fight but in that single second, he accepted it.

That feeling lingers with him today. He accepted it and as brought back. The reaper won't leave him alone, tugging at his lungs and his bones. It's not forceful, just a casual reminder of what's waiting for him one day. It's a feeling in his stomach that feels like the start of an ulcer. Just there, waiting for the right moment. And he saw the look Dick gave him when he saw Red Hood was Jaosn. He did not seem happy. You were at first pissed about it. No one really seemed too happy at first when he came back. He interrupted your grieving process and then interrupted everything else. He dies with the ache in his bones and the guilt because he has no choice but he swears he won't do this again.

He put a bomb in his helmet as a failsafe.

You pull his thoughts back to you as you press a kiss to his temple. "You're gonna be okay, Jay."

"I'm not!" Jason yells through a whine as he pulls away, his eyes on you. His chest is heaving as he pants for some sort of air. "I'm never gonna be fucking fine."

Why does the world treat him so cruelly? Can't it see that he is good? Can't it see that he has always been enough? Can't it see that Jason Todd has been through enough? He has suffered enough. You would fight the universe with your bare fucking hands if that's what it took for it to understand that he is done suffering.

"You will be." You nod your head at him as your hands come to the side of his neck. Your thumbs trace his jawline. "And you don't have to do this shit alone." You urge. "I told you, if I'm alive then you are never alone and I mean it. I don't care." You shrug harshly. "It's gonna be okay." You want to kiss him until he believes you. You want to kiss all of his hurt away, scare it away so far away that it never comes back. You want to kiss him as hard as you can so maybe he'll believe, once more, that he is worthy and he's gonna be okay and he is never fucking alone if you're breathing.

"I-I just want to stop." His voice has never sounded so defeated as he rests his head against your chest.

"I know." You whisper, your hand moving to the back of his head as you run your hand through the wet strands of black hair. "It will, you just gotta give it some time, Jay." Your voice is steady and calm, disguising the pain in your chest. "You've been through a lot."

Jason picks his head up, his green eyes are dark and miserable. Completely broken. "I died." Jason chokes out.

"Yeah." You nod once as Jason watches something devastating rip through your eyes. "Someone should have been there to protect you." You wish it would have been you. It should have been you to protect him.

Jason shakes his head and he lets out this chuckle that almost falls into another sob. "Maybe I was better off dead." He says it in one breath, all flat and sincere. "Look what I've become."

"No." You say sternly because he doesn't get to do this to himself again. He has prevented you from this exact spiral more times than you can count and he doesn't even know it. It's your job to make sure you repay the favor that was never really a favor. "You deserve to be alive." Jason catches a subtle break in your tone. "You became something that everyone was too fucking cowardly to become. You save people." You nod firmly. "Do you know how many people you've saved as Red Hood?" You ask.

"Not fucking many." Jason lets out a huff.

"Three hundred and two." You answer right back.

Jason's eyes widen and he is so certain you're making that up. "What?"

"Three hundred and two." You repeat. "There was a domino effect, too. I didn't actually count that because it would be like... impossible but I did account for some of them. A guy was gonna blow blow up the museum but you stopped him the day before he had a chance. So, you saved every person that would have been there. You've stolen how many guns from Black Mask? I mean just think of how many people you saved because you took those guns? Domino effect. Of course, there was the apartment fire last week which I don't know, Jay. You're not a firefighter but you still went into it and saved a whole family then went back and saved their cat."

Jason's eyes burn and sting as he stares at you in disbelief and confusion. The water pelts him and it's the first time he realizes it's going a little cold. Why the fuck do you know that? Why are you keeping track? Jason doesn't even believe you. You have no reason to keep track of how many people he's saving. It's his doing and it has nothing to do with you. There is no reason for it. You're just telling him this shit to make him feel better even if that's never been something you've done.

You don't lie to him.

Jason didn't think you'd start so soon and he did do those things. The Gazette wrote a few articles about it though and Molly knew. Maybe that's how you knew but your eyes are soft and your fingers are idly playing with the wet strands at the base of his neck. Why are you keeping tabs on him when you never called?

"W-why the fuck do you know that?" Jason finally gets the words out and you can't tell if he's actually mad about it or concerned.

You hope he's just concerned.

You shrug and offer him a small but cheeky smile. "Cause I do." You suck in a breath. "Have my ways."

The very corner of Jason's mouth tugs upwards just barely at the thought that you're really keeping tabs on him, outside of hearing from your friends. If it were anyone else, he'd be pissed. He can take care of himself despite what this situation might look like to an outsider. He can take care of himself and he doesn't need people worrying about him and keeping tabs just to be disappointed or mad. Jason Todd has never needed anyone but you keeping tabs on him both as Jason Todd and Red Hood is different because you only do it for people you care about. You weren't talking and you still kept up with what he was doing. It makes him wonder why because you could have called. You could have asked yourself and maybe that makes the tiniest smile fall.

Jason didn't call either.

"Keeping tabs on me?" Jason asks with a rough but quiet voice, his brows pulling together.

Not keeping up with him feels impossible. As much as you're beating yourself up for everything and as much as a part of you doesn't think you deserve anything with him at all, there was always a part of you that knew you needed to keep up. Molly and Gar might know what he's doing as himself but Jason's going to keep them away from Red Hood as much as he can. Somewhere inside your stomach, you knew you'd find your way back into each other's lives one way or another. You just wanted to know what he was doing and if he were okay. The only thing you want is for him to be okay and killing people is not the easiest thing in the world, despite what it might look like sometimes. So, you've been keeping up with him just in case.

He's important to you, of course you keep tabs on him.

"I know you're keeping tabs on me, too." You whisper back to him, the cheeky smile completely gone from your lips.

Sometimes Molly will ask an odd question, something she either shouldn't know about or something off-handed. All of the Titans would just ask you which means the only person in Molly's ear is Jason. And you know damn well Molly is smart enough to know you'd figure it out. You just don't say anything. You give Molly the answer and Molly updates you on Jason's things. Okay, so she's a little in the middle of you and Jason but Molly knows you're both mostly asking about each other because you're worried. It is so stupid and you're so emotionally stunted, but it'd drive you both crazy not to know.

Jason just needs to know you're okay.

"Maybe." Jason finally gets a grin onto his lips because you knowing without saying anything until now makes his heart swell. Even apart, you just can't help yourselves.

"Exactly." You let out a soft laugh.

Jason nods a few times, his smile turning gentle. "Why, uh, why do you know that though? How many people?" Jason asks and he finds himself resting his hands on your hips as if on instinct.

"Helps." You answer casually. "Keeping track of everyone you kill and everyone you save by killing, it helps. Keep track of mine, too so...I kept track of yours...just in case." You clear your throat, dodging his eyes. "Know how you are and stuff so...uh, yeah, just...knowing it does help...helps on days where it feels like this might be worse." You explain softly. "It's not...by the way." You clarify. "Greater good but yeah...uh, yeah, you know sometimes it's a lot to carry."

The way you word it makes Jason's heart burn. His hands grip your hips a little tighter and he remembers the night outside of Jerry's. You nearly beat him to death and everything was still heavy. It was still a lot to carry and Jason told you to put it on him. When it gets too hard to carry, put it on him because he can carry the weight of it for you. You swore you'd do the same for him and Jason wonders when you seemed to lose that.

He knows. Deep down he knows because it haunts him in his sleep. That night outside of Excellent Gotham when you were finally done absolutely destroyed him. He knows that was the night you both lost everything. That he lost everything. He had almost gotten you, Tim, and Mr. Drake killed and you couldn't do it anymore. Jason still doesn't blame you even if it makes him want to lose his mind to guilt and regret all over again. It hurts because he always felt so secure with you but then that happened and it was like everything he ever had finally collapsed at his feet. An earthquake disguised in the words of "you win. I can't do it anymore. I'm done." crumbled his foundation. Your love had been wilting away ever since he came back and that was the day it all finally fell apart.

He wishes he could take it back. He wants what you had back.

"Still will carry some of the weight for you, Jay." You suck in a breath.

Can the wilting process be reversed? Can it be rebuilt? Or is it tarnished forever? Or can you rebuild something better? If Jason committed now again, would it be better? Could you get a fair fucking chance at this time?

Jason grinds his teeth thinking that he wants you. After all of this and you are still willing to be soaking wet in your clothes in a shower with him and carry the weight of devestation for him when it's too much for him. He is endlessly and hopelessly in love with you. He wants you. He wants what you had before and he wants to rebuild it. Somehow, some way, that is what he wants and fuck if he thinks he deserves it or not because you wouldn't be here if you didn't feel the same way.

Jason leans his forehead against yours. "You can still put it on me." Jason whispers softly and you gain a soft and subtle smile.

You don't know it, but Jason is entirely committed to you. Maybe you won't want to try again and Jason can't even blame you. It was a fucking shitshow and he died and you almost died. It was a fucking disaster. Maybe you weren't, but your worlds burned around the both of you and charred you both in the process. Maybe you won't want to and that's fine. But, Jason wants to try it all one more time, banter and games and then falling into something. It might not have worked the first time, but it'll be different this time. He's so sure of it and he is so sure of you. He just wants to find his footing and allow you to find yours first and then, even if it makes him want to throw himself through a window, he'll start the conversation.

You pull away, resting your hands on his cheeks. "Why don't we get up, get dry, and I can stay if you want me to?"

He always wants you to stay.

"Ya don't have to if you don't want to." Jason offers even though he knows you will anyway.

"I know." You smile softly at him before you scrunch your nose at him. "Guess you're just stuck with me."

Jason lets himself laugh. There's no such thing as being stuck with you. You don't get stuck to people and you make sure people don't get stuck to you. He is not stuck, it is always a pleasure to have you around. Even when it's hard.

Sorting yourselves out is for the best. It hurts the both of you more than words could possibly describe and a part of that does not feel it's for the best. It feels, somehow, more complicated now than it did before. It's as if you've both forgotten how to walk around each other and that part feels wrong. You both strolled right into each other's lives before and made yourselves right at home as if it were always meant to be that way. Being a part and sorting yourselves has left this gap between you that you're not sure how to build a bridge back. But it's for the best because you can't be together and offer each other the care you deserve if you're too busy dealing with your own traumas while trying to help the other one. It's a little too much to throw in a romance. It sucks and Jason knows it.

"Thanks."

"Of course." You get up, leaning over and turning the shower off finally.

You offer your hands to Jason and help him to his feet. The both of you are completely drenched and it makes Jason laugh. Your hair is soaked, the small bit of eyeliner is running down your cheeks and your t-shirt sags pathetically over you. You stick your tongue out at him and then laugh with him. He doesn't look much better than you do so you laugh, heartily and loud, the booms bouncing off of the tile surrounding you. It's all a little ridiculous.

"Why are you laughing?" You ask as you gasp for a breath.

"You look like a drowned rat." Jason bellows before he grabs the two towels from the towel bars.

"Fuck you!" You yell before sucking in a laugh and catching the towel from Jason. "So do you!"

"I know!" Jason agrees with you which only makes you laugh more and he thinks you're still the prettiest person he's ever met.

His laughing subsides first and turns into something soft and tender while you just smile at him before rolling your eyes. Jason wides his eyes to mock you and then he turns around. He rests his towel on the counter beside him before stripping down to his boxers and you can't help but watch. You're starting to feel goosebumps erupt over your skin as you grow colder but the sight of Jason Todd stripping down? That is not a sight to be missed.

He's somehow more toned now than he was before. The muscles of his back flex with every movement as he dries himself off. The Lazarus pit healed his face and the other injuries he sustained from the Joker but it didn't get rid of his previous scars. The one from his dad is still there and the other one from a fight on the streets. You still like how they look on him. Proof that he is alive. And the only thing you want to do is wrap your arms around him and kiss up his shoulder blades.

You almost do it.

Your feet almost move and you can almost feel how his skin will be warm against yours. He'll straighten his stance at first and then he'll relax. His hands will come up to your arms and a chuckle will fall from his lips the second you place the first kiss between his shoulder blades. You both would be happy.

You almost move.

But it's not your place anymore.

So, you will yourself to turn around and strip down just as he did, leaving you in just your bra and underwear to get as dry as you can. Jason peaks over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of your back to him. He could feel you practically boring into his back and he's relieved you turned around. It wouldn't normally bother him but he'd have to turn around eventually and he wasn't in for that conversation at the moment. But, he offers a glance, catching the raised lines of scars through your back, something that still boils Jason's blood.

Your scars never bothered him. Proof that you fight like hell to make it out alive. But, it pisses him off because what the fuck did you ever do to deserve the mistreatment? Nothing in this world justifies the horrors you went through and the fact you have to bear the scars for the rest of your life as if the haunting memories weren't enough. Jason gets it more than anyone, especially now. And all he wants to do is pull you into him, litter kisses across your face until you burst at the seams with laughter because you're happy. At least if you're laughing you're happy and that's what you deserve. To be happy.

Jason shakes his head and says he'll be back with some dry clothes before he darts out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He takes a few minutes to get some dry clothes on himself, making sure he's covered with a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. His body starts to warm up almost immediately from the clothes and then he rummages through his things looking for something for you to wear. He grabs a pair of boxers for you, sweatpants that he only kept because they fit you better, and a red t-shirt.

When Jason gets back to the bathroom, you're seated on the toilet seat with the towel wrapped around you, cutting off just above your breasts. Jason offers you a smirk because who are the both of you if you aren't going to do this whole banter thing?

"Wanna give me a show?" Jason quips.

You snap your attention to him, seeing a pile of clothes in his hands and him now fully clothed. "No, fuck you." You chortle back as you get to your feet.

"But I'm sad." Jason gives you the fakest pout you've ever seen.

"You're still obnoxious." You quip, gesturing with one hand to get the clothes from Jason.

Jason keeps his smirk. "Better than shithead."

"Shithead." You beam up at him, still waiting for him to hand over the clothes.

"Babe." Jason laughs before handing over the clothes.

You smile back at him with the roll of your eyes. "Maybe I'd have given you one if you gave me one." You blink up at him and Jason knows damn well this is a trap.

"In your dreams." Jason holds his confidence.

You shrug, deciding to play the game. It is always the most fun that way. "Those are my best dreams."

Jason feels his cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. "Don't have just be dreams, babe."

"You fucking wish."

"If I did?" Jason quips without missing a fucking beat.

"I know you do." You roll your eyes and he knows he's won. "Turn the fuck around or get out."

Jason lets out a laugh before he leaves you to get changed, closing the door behind him. "I'm right out here if you change your mind about the show."

"Fuck you!" You yell before Jason hears you laugh behind the door.

Jason leans against his dresser, tugging out his phone to see what he's missed. He has a few texts from Gar, mostly just TikToks and one asking how things are going. Jason decides he'll respond later, not in the mood much for explaining that one. There's a text from Dick asking how Tim is doing and Jason replies that it's going fine, not offering any further explanation. He knows damn well Dick sent the same text to you and you'll elaborate more. There isn't much else on his phone so he goes to his gallery, a habit he can't quite break.

He hasn't deleted a single photo of him and you from his phone. It's an endless and helpless bit of hope that it'll be you and him at the end of this. And these are pictures from a better time because even when he was dealing with the shit from Deathstroke, at least you were both happy. Everything still seemed so simple compared to how it feels today. It feels like years have passed since you were in your bed changing your lock screens to matching pictures. It's as if you've lost your last bit of innocence in those few weeks of terror and agony. Jason figures that's just a consequence of endless trauma. He grieves for the kids you should have been allowed to be. Innocent and dumb and stubborn and carefree. He grieves for the people you both were in the pictures on his phone.

The door opens, tugging Jason's attention up and away from his phone before he pockets it. A tender smile pulls at his lips as you walk out in his clothes, he swore they always look better on you anyway. You have a pile of clothes in your hand, topped with the black towel. You walk right up to him, standing just a few inches from him and beam up at him before you offer the stack to him.

Jason tilts his head back with a laugh before he pushes off the dresser. "Am I your fucking maid now?" He quirks his brows at you.

"I don't think you want me to answer that." You laugh right back and it's something airy and warm.

Jason shakes his head. "Fuck you."

"If you ask nicely." You fire right back and you watch the subtle tint of surprise fade over his face. You let out a snicker before Jason deadpans. "It is still so much fun to fuck with you, Jay."

Jason isn't the only one chasing the innocence of a few months ago. You can feel it, too. It's dark now. Something heavy is lingering in the air everywhere you go. You hate how it feels and ignoring it doesn't do you any good but what else is there to do? At the very least, the way Jason laughs still makes you smile. At the very least, the way he laughs makes the air not feel so heavy anymore. The banter makes things feel a little bit better because at least you're talking, at least you're still on the same page. At least it's still him and you.

"Give me your damn shit." Jason grumbles through a smile while you do as told through a laugh. "Just...wait here." Jason stutters for a second before he darts out of the room.

You make your way to his bed and sit down, your hand landing on his pillow. There's something hard under it and while it isn't your business, you pick up the pillow anyway. Jason keeps a gun under his pillow and the smile evaporates in a second. You know why he does it but...it's the reality of it. The heaviness of always having a weapon at the ready even when it dangers your own life. To live in fear. To live always on guard. It's not fair.

Your heart aches for him. Even after everything, he deserves better. He has always deserved better but now he's stuck here dealing with the monstrosities he was manipulated into doing and dealing with dying. It's all not fair and you wish you knew what you could do to make it better.

You carefully grab the gun, checking the safety and you're relieved he's at least keeping the safety on. You rest it beside you before you look on the other side of the bed, not seeing any other weapons. You'd hope you would have noticed last night or this morning if he had anything out in the open. But, Jason wouldn't which makes you wonder where else he's hiding his weapons.

"What're you doing?" Jason's voice brings your attention back to him.

"Why, uh, w-why do you keep a gun under your pillow?" You ask.

Jason's teeth grind against each other, knowing he can't lie about it. He moved it last night when you weren't paying attention. He'd never have you sleep in a bed when it could go off. But, by the way you asked, that's not why you're asking. You don't even sound mad but Jason is embarrassed anyway. Exposed again, twice in one night because of course he keeps weapons at the ready. He needs to be prepared for anything. Joker took care of the job once already and Jason has been doing a great job in making more enemies than friends these days. He keeps his guard up at all times so he doesn't get beaten to death again.

"I put it there." Jason states, stuffing his hands into his pockets, practically gluing his feet to the floor. Maybe if he doesn't move, you won't ask any more questions.

You blink at him a few times. "Yeah...I-I knew that?" You question him. "That's fucking stupid, you know that?" You ask with the nod of your head. "You might have the safety on but what if it goes off?"

"Look, it's not a fucking thing. You don't have to make it one." Jason shakes his head, gesturing a leisured hand towards you, trying to brush it off as much as he can.

You roll your eyes before you get up, gun in hand with the barrel facing the floor. "I'm not judging you for it. I get it." You shrug your shoulder as you hand the weapon to him.

Jason holds it in his hand, grip tight while he watches you go to your bag. His brows furrow as you start digging into your backpack. You pull out a switchblade, metallic blue shining against the low light of his room. You walk back over to his bed and put the knife under his pillow.

"It's locked so it shouldn't open on you while you're asleep. Just don't lose that one, I like that one." You roll your shoulders, eyes locked on his. "I got those from Bruce so they're good for throwing." You explain as you swallow thickly and you can see Jason wanting to fight you on it, defend himself but he doesn't need to. Jason Todd never needs to defend himself against you. "I have one under my pillow, too." You say quietly while you watch Jason's face soften and his shoulders relax.

Being with you was always the place he never felt judged for anything, even the blood staining his hands.

"Thank you." Jason takes a few steps forward, finally unsticking his feet from the wooden floorboards. "Don't have to look after me, though." Jason says it simply, a hint of hurt in his voice. He takes a seat beside you. "Not your job anymore." Jason's eyes are dark and sad, something tugging his thoughts back to a place they shouldn't be.

"I know." You say quietly. "It was never a job in the first place." Your eyes go to your hands and Jason can feel the lump in his throat growing again but this time, for the love he thinks he lost from you. Or the love he thought he lost. "You're still my favorite person." You whisper back to him and you don't know why you say it. You only know that it's true and it's always been true. Maybe he just needs to know it's still you and him.

"Still?" Jason asks, his eyes searching over your face for any indication that you're going to throw out some quip.

"Mhm." You hum with a subtle nod.

Jason looks to his hands in his lap and he misses you more than words could possibly describe. He misses your honesty and your care and your quips and the snark. He misses every aspect of you and he is so in love with you. He thought, for just a second, maybe that feeling would fade. Time would pass and it would fade, especially lately. You'd meet again and maybe it would be so different that he wouldn't feel like his heart would burst from his ribcage at the sight of you. You always deserved better than him anyway. After everything he put you through, you deserve better than that but he can tell by how you stutter and tug at your sleeves, the way your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes after the last bit of banter, you aren't entirely happy. Being with him, for some reason he'll never understand, made you happy. And being with you always made him happy. You're sitting here and it's as if his very heart is trying to climb through his chest to get to yours. He is still so endlessly in love with you.

"I miss you." He says it quietly, looking back to you and he wishes he could tell you the other eight letters but..that all seems a little too honest and a little unfair. He doesn't expect you to say it back.

Every day you wake up and you love him. Every day you wake up and you miss him. Today was the first day in two months, you didn't miss him. You didn't miss him because he was down the hall. You didn't miss him because he was here and so were you. Today was the first day in two months, your chest didn't ache with the thought of him. You miss him, too and you miss his smile and his laugh and the new addition of the white streak of hair. You miss his sarcasm and his ability to turn anything into some sort of joke. You always miss him. And you are endlessly in love with him.

"I miss you, too." You whisper back, eyes locking on his.

The haunted words of 'I love you' scrape down your throat, knowing it's not your place to say them. It's too honest, too vulnerable, too exposed. It's too much for both of you and it's not fair to put that on him. It's not fair to put it on him because you aren't sure what you'd do if he knew. It's agonizing swallowing the words. You have felt more at home today than you have in two months. Jason deserves to know you still love him despite it all but you can't say it.

The room falls silent, the air between you growing humid and thick. Tonight was a bad night. They happen sometimes. Sometimes the weight of it all drags Jason down and he can't pick himself up. But you walk right in and don't even hesitate. You always know what to do and you never even question it. Tonight was a bad night but you were here and he is thankful for you. He's coming into himself as Red Hood, knowing, most nights, that what he's doing is for the greater good. He's getting along with Bruce and they're actually trying for once. He sees Leslie once a week. He is trying, making a solid effort to move past everything that's ever made him feel like a burden. It's the forgiving himself for what happened that drags him down.

Everyone was right. It was his choice to go to Crane. He didn't have to. Sure, maybe it wasn't really him while he was high, but it was. It was him making that choice to keep taking it, it was his choice to ignore every single offer you ever made to bring him back just because he was pissed and stubborn and he felt abandoned. So many people have suffered because of what he did under Crane's control. It may not have been the real him but he still did it. And that's a very difficult thing to forgive himself for. And it only ever gets worse when you're involved because you were the one person who never even thought about giving up on him until you were given no other choice. It's a very hard thing to forgive himself for but he is trying.

Leslie says he needs to learn to forgive himself, everyone else has forgiven him and that should mean something.

He's trying.

He's trying to forgive himself and be better. He is trying to accept the care and kindness of others without second guessing their motives or when they'll up and leave.

He's trying not to push.

"I..." Jason stutters. "I really miss you." Jason says again, hoping you get it because he can't stand to not have you in his life anymore.

Your face softens as your heart shatters through your chest. You forgave him for everything the second it all happened. Sometimes, you can feel yourself upset about some of it but it's just the grief kicking in again. The grief of everything you both lost the second he made the decision to go to Crane. It is the one decision he has made that you don't understand but you aren't Jason. You weren't Robin. You weren't stripped of the most important thing to you, of your identity. Not like Jason was. And you forgive him anyway because Jason doesn't like to hurt people. Especially people he cares about. Pushing has always been a way to hurt himself, not other people. You forgive him for everything even if he doesn't know it.

You wish it were different so you wouldn't be suffering through the pain of missing each other. It doesn't seem very fair, especially tonight.

You know what he means.

"I really miss you, too." Your voice is honest and Jason thinks you even sound scared, a reminder of how he sounded the first time things got a little too real with your feelings. Those words hold the same meaning that they do for Jason. Everything you're both too scared to say tonight.

You lean forward, resting your forehead on his shoulder and you know your heart will only ever belong to him. It'll always be safe with him. Jason's eyes soften as he looks down at you and instead of making some quip or joke, he lets you sit in the moment. He rests his cheek against your head and all he wants to do is kiss you. This isn't easy for you either.

You lift your head and Jason's eyes are big and green, the prettiest shade of green you've ever seen. He is still the only thing you have ever wanted. He will always be the only thing you'll ever want. And Jason can feel it, too, like an invisible string tugging you together in every universe, in every timeline. You are the only thing he has ever wanted. You are the only thing he will ever want.

Jason hopes you know he feels it, too so he rests his forehead against yours first this time. Your eyes close as your shoulders relax and Jason finally lets out a breath before his eyes close. He'll never ask because that's too soon into whatever this friendship is going to be but he's hoping you stay awhile. Stays past morning tomorrow and into the night. You don't have to talk about any of it, he just wants you to stay and he wants to stay just like this because it's the safest he's felt in two months. And it's like a reflex, embedded deep into his DNA, he brushes his nose against yours as he feels your breath fan over his lips.

You match him but instead, you brush your lips against his. You haven't kissed him in a month and a half yet it feels like it's been an entire century. Kissing him has always washed away every doubt and ounce of sadness you've ever had. Him kissing you has always made you feel wanted, the two of you against the world. That's how it should have been and that's how it should be now. You want to kiss him so badly you think you might burst into tears. Life was always better with him in it. You want to kiss him to show him that even if you can't be together, you still love him with every ounce of your existence.

Jason's head starts to spin and he holds his breath. He's thrown right back to that time in the manor when you told him to prove it. You said it and he never put in a single thought after that. He took the leap and he thinks it was one of the best decisions he's ever made. That kiss sealed your fate together, even for just that short time. It brought you to him in a way he didn't think he'd ever be lucky enough to have. Being with you made him feel lucky for the first time in a very long time.

Maybe you can do this again. Maybe the way for you to do anything is to tiptoe into it. It didn't work last time but it wasn't for lack of trying. It was Jason who fucked it up but it had nothing to do with you and him. Maybe falling back into each other is how it's supposed to be. Maybe you could fix it all. It's just lonely without you. He's terrified but your lips brush over his again and you're making the first move this time. You can still quiet every horrible thought he's ever had. He loves you with every ounce of his very existence.

Jason brings his hand to your cheek, running his thumb over your cheek. Your skin is always soft under his callused fingers. He thought maybe you'd back out because you do that. You run from everything, you back out, it's all a joke and that's that. It would be incredibly painful but...you don't. You lean into him instead. So, Jason finally closes the bit of distance between you and brings his lips to yours.

You smile against him and Jason can breathe again. He can breathe again as you kiss him back and your mouth moves with his. This might be a one-time thing but that's okay because even if it's just for this moment, you choose him. And he chooses you. You will always choose each other. In the chaos of your lives, somehow, you find your way back right here with your hands pulling the collar of his shirt closer to you and his hands on your cheeks. You choose each other anyway. Despite the pain and heartbreak and chaos and all of the terrible, horrible, thoughts, you choose each other. Even if it is just for a moment, Jason decides to take the second leap and he wants this moment to last as long as you will let it. If you'll have him.

Jason moves his hands to your hips, giving them a squeeze before he tugs you closer to him. You get the hint and without breaking the kiss, you move to straddle his lap, Jason guiding you down. His hands squeeze your hips and he tugs you as close to him as possible while your hands find their way to his shoulders and then the back of his neck. Your fingers tangle in the damp hair at the base of his neck. The kiss grows sloppy and desperate, teeth clanking against each other and it is the most cathartic feeling the both of you have had in a long time.

It is healing parts of you both you didn't think possible. Normally, it's Jason questioning your feelings because why would you ever love him after all the damage he's done? But, it's you questioning that as you kiss him with everything in you. You're just like everyone else, why would he forgive you for that? Why would he kiss you like he's still hopelessly in love with you? You broke a promise to him and he's still here and you have no idea why. But, tonight, you're going to allow yourself to be thankful. All that matters right now is that you're here, together, just him and you.

Jason swears you have left a permanent make spelling out your name across his heart and Jason wouldn't have any other name in your place. And a part of him thinks you know, too. It's as if it glows and heats up the center of his chest whenever you're around. It's like his heart becomes a beacon of light on the top of a lighthouse the second you kiss him. You make him feel alive again and he doesn't have to feel so alone when you're here.

You feel so at home with him. Every piece of paranoia that's been coursing through you fades away and you know, without a shadow of a doubt, with Jason you're safe. After everything, he will always protect you. You will always protect him. You're tied together even if you don't want to admit it to each other. You've ruined each other for anyone that would ever come after and the both of you have never been so thankful.

Jason pulls away, his chest heaving as his eyes open slowly. Your eyes meet his slowly, pupils lust-blown and you have a loving and lazy smile spread across your lips. He thinks he could do this all night long.

He gains his signature smirk. "Did I win that time?" Jason's eyes glance to your lips.

You deadpan and shake your head. You expect absolutely nothing less from him. "Shut the fuck up."

Jason lets out the warmest chortle you've ever heard. "That's a yes."

"Just shut up and kiss me." You groan before colliding your lips with his.

You can feel him grin wildly against your lips before he falls right back into rhythm with you.

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[griddlebait]

hi hello are you still alive?

hi hello yes i am (barely) (kidding). explanation for where i’ve been and sckl stuff below !

so, without going into detail, something very unexpected came up near the beginning of this month that had to take priority over literally everything. i haven’t been home with my laptop (which i use to write) much or even on my phone too often, hence the inactivity/lack of responses/no update. i’m doing okay, and i’m now back home and back to writing but i really can’t say when the update will be ready, leading to:

i don’t want to call it a hiatus because at least to me that implies a more intentional break, but i will say that there are going to be gaps between updates. which i guess might technically be a hiatus? idk. i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up by giving an estimate or a schedule because it seems like every time i do something comes up 😭 writing sckl brings me a lot of happiness and i still spend most of my free time working on it so there’s definitely not going to be an official break (at least for the time being)

i hope this is ok with you guys! i’ll still be here to talk about the fic and i’ll let yall know when the chapters are in the editing/beta stage. i’m so sorry about saying the chapter should be ready by the beginning of the month and then ghosting, it wasn’t intentional and i won’t do it again. if something similar happens i’ll make sure to let you all know that i’ll be gone for a while.

thank you as always for your kindness and patience 🫶🫶 !! your encouragement and support really means a lot.

[melanated-writersblock]

Confessional - A Yunho Series *Coming Soon*

Priest!Yunho x Black!Female!Reader

~ You and your childhood friend Yunho promised to do everything together. But as you got older, things shifted, and you began to feel differently towards each other. Now, Yunho’s about to join the church and any emotions you meant to share with him will have to be disregarded. Or will they?

What to expect in future parts: smut, some angst in there, fluff, I meannnnn…..sex? YES. cowgirl, unprotected sex (Y’ALL BETTER NOT DO THIS IRL), oral (m+f receiving), praise, slippery slope, semi-public sex, more tags to be stated specifically in each part…

Author’s Note: Well what can I say….when life gives you religious trauma, you take that trauma and oddly somehow end up watching Fleabag and getting your brain short-circuited in the mindset of finding priests hot idk. Mix that with my current Yunho brain rot and you get THIS MASTERPIECE!😀 I also started writing this @ 2 AM so give me grace PLEASE😭 WwaBRiM but everyone (18+ only! MDNI) is welcomed to read and enjoy! (P.S. I EDITED THE PIC OF YUNHO WITH THE CLERICAL COLLAR ON!!! *top middle*)

💫LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD MAKE A TAG LIST AND IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE ON IT💫

LIKES ARE NOT ENOUGH, COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE BETTER! IF YOU WANT NEW CHAPTERS TO SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY PLEASE LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! ALSO DON’T COPY MY SHIT. I WILL KNOW.

[moonshynecybin]

what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

[aajjks]

The Conqueror (XIX)

Synopsis: He had conquered everything, anything but your heart.

Pairings: Yandere!King Jungkook x Commoner!servant Reader ( FT. Cha Eunwoo From ASTRO.)

warnings. YANDERE THEMES, EXTREME YANDERE THEMES, DARK THEMES, obsessive!jungkook, unhealthy obsession, unhealthy possessiveness, mentions of self h-rm, crying, vulnerable!jungkook, plot twists (you aren’t ready for, buckle THE FUCK UP)

note. AFTER WHOLE FIVE MONTHS ITS FINALLY HERE… tysm for being SO patient and kind to me… I LOVE YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH… I’m so in a tc mood now, send me asks, SHARE YOUR FEEDBACK BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER WILL LEAVE YOU SHOCKED!!!! 🫡 istg y’all aren’t ready for this… ENJOY!

series masterlist.

*not edited, roughly written!*

taglist: @mageprincess7 @starsggukk @sprinkleoftee @koremis @minshookie29 @sana-b @bangtannoonalvg @oonaaurora @jeonsweetpea @sugaslittlekookies @outro-kook @kthyg @lunaashes @debicaptain-saturn @laurynne5 @captainsjoongs @myblackconfessions @lanalanexpjm @namjooncrabs @shadowmoon21 @kookunot @natalie-rdr @angelicasdre @iwasfuckinginnocentonce @mermaidtea @foulnightharmony @ungodlyjoon @quechulitaaa @telepathytae @silversparkles11 @j3alous-ang3l @bunzom @1-in-abillion @breadgeniedope @jiminie-08 @artgukk @lovesthetword @bunijmin @pinkcherrybombs @afangirllikeme-blog @twilight-love-nochu-main @wedarkacademia @hollxe1 @bighitfics @darkuni63 @golden-thv @investedreader @sweetempathprunetree @koocreampie (I can’t tag anymore people, it’s full 😭😭)

Jungkook was elated, he turned for the nth time on his mattress, you loved him! His eyes were wide open, his heart was threatening to burst out of his chest, you loved him! He breathed deeply into his pillow.

He couldn’t wait for the morning.

Jungkook wanted you to sleep with him in his chamber but he knew it wasn’t the right timing, as much as he wishes he could have you beside him in his bed.

He needed to wait.

He was longing to hold you, to feel your warm body pressed against his chest, so he could play with your H/C hair, Jungkook felt so wide awake, you loved him, that’s why you were crying when he had the dagger pressed on his neck.

Even though you didn’t confess to him yet, but he could see the love in your eyes.

You loved him.

He inhaled a deep breath, pressing his palm on the left side of his chest, his heart was pounding, closing his eyes, the king smiled.

The first time he saw you.

he remembers it faintly, yet it’s engraved in his memory.

The little boy was confused as he held his mothers hand, walking with her in the congested streets. His clothes were rough, his feet aching but his mother was not focused on him.

He stared at the woman with his large brown eyes.

“Mother..” he whined in his small voice. Shaking her hand so she would focus on him.

“Mother!” The child cried out, he wanted to leave, this was not the environment he was used to, the sun was burning hot, the sunshine blinding him.

“What is it, my sweet? We’re almost there.” She cooed, her feet didn’t stop, the child had no choice but to keep walking with his mother.

“I wish to go home.” The child confessed, closing his eyes and crying, “I’m thirsty!” He whined again.

“Jungkookie… my sweetheart… I am aware. But I have some important business to do… I’ll fetch you some water soon!” The mother replied to her ten year old son as she finally stopped at a flower stall, fixing her veil quickly, “be a good boy, will you?” She caressed the crown of his head.

Jungkook grunted under his breath, he was a good boy, he had to listen to his mother.

He was perplexed as to why his mother, the queen of Corea was disguising and stalking this area, particularly this flower shop?

He was regretting for demanding to his mother that he accompany her to wherever she was planning on visiting. He was too attached to his mother after all.

And terrified of his father.

“Mother… what is it?!” He whispered to her. The child was utterly confused. He knew his mother visited the empire in disguise as she liked to escape his father for some hours, he could understand her decision but…. Why this flower shop?

“Excuse me?” His mother called out to a man, he noticed that the pitch of his mother’s voice was low, what was going on?

Jungkook shrugged away his thoughts, he rufused to understand his parents, they were too complicated for him to understand, the boy stared at the flowers, his eyes searching every inch of the wooden shop, he was not amused, it was plain, broken and boring.

Awfully boring.

“Yes, madam? How can I help you.

He was not interested in his mother’s conversation with the man.

As the shopkeeper turned his back to look at his customer, his mother to be exact, a sketch caught his attention.

A girl smiling with her crooked teeth, his eyes were crinkling as she stared directly into his face.

A big toothy smile on her face and a flower crown on her head.

He felt his heart beat loudly, his eyes fixated on the paper, focused on the girl's smile.

The boy was mesmerized at the sight of it.

She was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, after his mother that is.

Before Jungkook could take his time to focus on that mysterious girls face, he felt his mothers hand tighten around his hand as she left the shop, dragging her son along.

“M-MOTHER?!” The boy called out, his feet forcing him to walk, his mother looked like she had seen a ghost.

Her eyes looked wild as Jungkook watched her.

“I-It’s him, I-It’s him!”

“Who’s who? Mother?”

She gazed at the young boy for a brief moment, a hush of warm wind hitting them as she spoke.

“The man your father has assigned for my assassination!”

His eyes opened wide, his mouth agape as he sat up abruptly, Jungkook was breathing heavily, his chest shaking as he looked around.

The same nightmare over and over again.

His nightmare wasn’t just a nightmare but it was the flashback to his past.

If only he had believed his mother then,

She would still be alive.

“Y-Y/N!” Jungkook noticed his tears as he cried out your name, the sun was almost out through the dark curtain of his chamber, the king fixed his robe, as he stood up from his bed and left his chambers.

He was so scared. He needed to see you before his nightmare enveloped his sanity completely.

He rushed out to the halls leading to your room, his eyes frantic and glossy, his head was hurting.

He needed you to calm him down.

He needed your warmth.

He needed you.

“Y-Y/N!” The man called out your name as he stormed into your chamber. He was sobbing, he was scared.

“Y-Y/N! S-Save me!” He closed the doors behind him before turning towards your sleeping figure, he watched your body stir, you were waking up, Jungkook climbed into your bed and grabbed your body before you could wake up properly.

“D-Don't leave me… please… save me.. from him..”

[highkeykithes]

omg i was rereading faded ink when you unpublished everything and was soo confused when the next chapter wouldn’t load😭 please take your time with the editing process!!! I’m excited to see the new details you want to include :> take care!

Yeah I am very very VERY sorry 😭 Ive been wanting to edit all the books since it ended but never had time. Now that I do, I'm looking back at old things I forgot to include that could be important. Plus, lots of grammar errors haha. I also may or not be getting rid of all the love interest, because before I even officially started writing the first book, the "love" interest was someone totally different I completely forgot about. It doesn't even seem important to the story anyways. Lmk what you guys think.

Ahh! See, lots of major editing 😭 Again, i'm super sorry for interrupting your reading time! You take care as well! <33

[hannarchive]

🎆 HANNArchive 1st Anniversary BTS Fic Recs 🎆

So today is this blogs’ 1 year aniversary 🥺 I actually just made this archive for myself to save the fics i like and might want to read again one day. I didn’t expect to get so many notes and followers just from my navigation post that I made cause i literally forget everything I’ve read immediately and i need the detailed tag-system lmao. Like, i can barely remember what i read yesterday. 🙃 But I’m happy other people are finding my blog useful as well. ✨

Anyway, so i thought i’d make a fic recs list. These are the same fics that’s in my 💖 tag, which is my personal favorites, but i thought i would make a list thats nicer than just going through the tag.

✰ Like real people do by @bangtanloverboys (3.6k) Tae x Y/N, friends/colleagues 2 lovers. Fluff, slight angst, soft smut. ⋆ This is such a comfort fic for me, I too am lonely and touch starved where’s my taehyung ):

✰ Hunt me down by @bonny-kookoo (series, ongoing) Alien!JK x Human!Reader. Fluff, angst, smut. ⋆ I just love her stuff, go read all her other alien fics while you’re at it - and all her other stuff too!

✰ Reconnect by bonny-kookoo (12.5k) Exes 2 lovers, Singlemom!Reader, Dad!JK, angst, smut.

✰ Ignorantly, yours by @ot7always (10.6k) Alpha!Jimin x Omega!Reader -Werewolf AU, Best friends 2 lovers. Smut, angst, fluff.

✰ Knot today by @kinktae (5.8k) alpha!JK x virgin omega!reader - Werewolf AU, roommates. Mostly smut, pwp, with som angst and fluff.

✰ Colours by @lovelytaes-blog (Series) Singledad!Tae x Artist!Y/N - Angst, fluff, smut.  

✰ (1.5k drabble +) sorry (not sorry) by @angelguk (8.1k) Roommate!JK x Y/N - Smut with sprinkles of fluff and angst.

✰ The Sadness of things by @lubdubsworld (Series) Alpha!JK x Omega!OC - Arranged Marriage AU. HEAVY angst, smut, fluff (Please check the trigger warnings) ⋆ Listen, this nearly killed me. I cried several times and even full on sobbed at one point. Broke my heart but it’s so good! 😭 Edit: Find all of the chapters here

✰ War of hearts by @btswrckd (Series) Mafia!Tae x Y/N - Arranged Marriage AU. Angst, fluff, smut. ⋆ I really love the characters in this - despite some dark themes it’s quite entertaining and endearing how everyone interacts with eachother.

✰ Strain by @evangelene (Series) Taehyung x Y/N - Hanahaki AU. Angst, fluff. 

✰ Summer nights and morning dew by @jeonstudios (11k) Alpha!JK x Y/N - Werewolf AU. Fluff, angst. ⋆ This is so cute!!! 

✰ Out of the woods by @angelicyoongie (Series) WolfHybrid!Joon x Y/N - Fluff, angst, smut. 

✰ Nude by @btssmutgalore (Series) Fuckboy!Tae x Y/N - Smut, fluff, angst.

✰ Summer Nights by @marginalmadness (Series) RabbitHybrid!JK x Y/N - Romance, fluff, smut. 

[ihaveconfessd]

A Little Bit of Everything Part 7

Changbin x Bang Chan x Female! Reader

Summary: college!au, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff,

Warnings: Language, inappropriate jokes, mentions of hazing, mentions of throwing up, character makes reference to past abuse (non graphic, implied)

Disclaimer: the following is a work of FICTION and in no way represent the actual people depicted. This is for entertainment purposes only.

In later Chapters this fic will deal heavily with sexual trauma, abusive partners (past), panic attacks and other sensitive topics, please take care of your mental health and read at your own discretion.

I am half asleep and posting this at 1am so I didn't get to edit the screenshots as well as I usually do I'm sorry 😭. I also realized I cropped one of the photos wrong and I am toothed to fix it rn so I will post the actual photo Y/n 'took' until I have the energy to edit it later.

-🍓

[lepetitloir]

Today I got volume 11 of Vanitas no Carte in French! I bought it specifically for chapters 58 and 59, so here are some thoughts and things I noticed!

I also bought a bag of roshen candy, it's bigger than the volume 😅 yum yum

First off: even if the special edition was also available, I wanted this one specifically because I liked the cover more :3 But the special edition has the sister Astolfo extra, so I do regret not buying that one a little bit 😔

A pattern in all the ki-oon manga I've bought is that under the jacket, the bonus is printed on the cover itself. Here we have sister Olivier!

I looooove that Olivier chibi head, he's so silly <3

The message from Jun Mochizuki reads: "Here is the first printed volume after a pause of almost 2 years. Thank you to all the readers who waited patiently! My new whim of the moment: I have an irrepressible desire to adopt a cat..."

The yellow text reads: "I want to live with a cat!"

And we get Charles! I am so grateful we have his official colours, I want to make so much fanart of him!

But onto what was most important to me: what's different in chapters 58 - 59 in the volume compared to the individual chapters?

Well, in this panel, Astolfo is added! (yay!)

And he gets a little exclamation mark in this one!

Also! Charles is added to this panel!!!

I think it's pretty cool!

I was hoping that some problems with the hands would be fixed in certain panels, but they didn't. Unfortunate, but I understand 🤷

I'm so used to the English translations that the French surprised me in some places! Unnamed vampire boy sounds more brutal for example: "You are the stupidest human that I've ever seen, it's to die of laughter from!!!" is so WILD WTH 😭 Astolfo is called "Astolphe" in the French edition. I already knew, but I had forgotten and it took me off guard when I read it.

A translation I like better in French compared to English: "Now then, what effect does this have?" (French) vs. "How do you feel now?" (English). I'm referring to the moment vampire boy is crouching next to Astolfo in the flashback after a child throws a stone at Astolfo. The French ("alors, quel effect ça fait?") *could* very well be translated to "what does it feel like?", and in fact that's what google translate gives me, but in a literal sense, he asks specifically for the effect the knowledge that his parents were killed by paladins has on Astolfo. It's... incredibly fitting...

A translation I like better in English compared to French: "They took from us, so we should take everything from them!" (English) vs. "The vampires didn't hesitate to steal everything I had!" (French). I think Astolfo tends to generelize his hatred and distance himself from it under the guise of "justice". In the Gévaudan arc, he corrected himself when saying "that's why I- we have to kill the vampires". I think the French is too direct here. Though, it does make it more obvious that it would be a fair deal to Astolfo. "They took everything from me, so I should take everything from them" once again shows how much he puts himself at the front of this, similarly to his "I have to kill all vampires, I have to be the one to do it" during Gévaudan.

And something I found funny was Marco calling himself "your good old Marco" XD

And finally, I was really looking forward to seeing this:

I really really love them.

[wonwoosthetic]

Amour-Haine & Co. | Chapter 18 |

series masterlist

word count – 15k

warnings – mentions of sex, mentions of sa (I tried to keep it brief and not mention it an unnecessary amount of time), cursing, screaming, law enforcement related things

a/n – I have nothing to say other than thank god this finally made its way onto tumblr😭 I’m still not 100% satisfied with it but I feel like if I edit it any more, it’s only gonna get worse😭😭 pls enjoy this, thank you for everything🫶🏼 BTW: this chapter includes A LOT of law enforcement and court terms and scenes, but since I am no expert in that field, please be prepared for inaccuracy! If any one you have more experience in either one of these subjects: please let me know!! If I can make it any more realistic, I’d love to do so!! Also: thank you to the anon who inspired me for the Jeonghan turn🫶🏼🥰 when I first outlined the story, this was definitely not planned but after seeing their request in my inbox a few months ago, I just knew I had to include it, so I hope you enjoy it🤍

fyi – not much lovey y/n x wonwoo in this chapter, but don’t you worry bc there will be more than enough in the next ones ˙���˙

“I’m proud of you.”

"Mmmm," Binna's enjoyable moan echoed through your ear as she took the first sip of her second cocktail that night - she had downed the first one within the first 10 minutes of sitting. "Long day at work, don't wanna talk about it," she commented on it as soon as she found your questioning, and slightly concerned, gaze on her.

You couldn't help but chuckle as you continued to sip on your first cocktail of the evening, your food still untouched next to you. By now the steam had already evaporated, and the ice in your drink had melted, watering down the burning taste of too much alcohol the trainee bartender had graciously given you. 

Your eyes were fixed on her and the lowering level of liquid in her glass as it went down and down with every sip, coming to a halt just right to make it half-full. "Are you sure, you're okay?" You questioned her carefully.

She hastily nodded, wiping her hands, now covered in salt from her fries, with a white napkin. "Yeah, yeah," she brushed you off before placing both of her palms on the surface of the table, slightly leaning forward with a smirk. "Now tell me, how's playboy-turned-loverboy doing?"

"Good. I think," you slyly answered, reaching out for a fry, which was interrupted by a harsh slap on the back of your hand, making you wince as you snatched it back. "OW!"

"Don't fucking say 'I think' as if you don't see him at work all the time and sleep over at his place every second day," Binna snapped at you. What you hadn't told her was that Wonwoo had also asked you to come over that evening, but you decided to cancel, remembering the date you and your best friend had already agreed on.

With wide eyes, you shrugged, "Yeah- well- I don't know. I think he's doing well." You knew the unknown was making her even more giddy, and only more questions would spill out of her.

"I think he's doing a little very well if he gets to sleep with you, don't you think?" She always had her way with compliments.

The liquid of your drink got stuck in your throat as you covered your mouth, giggling at her sudden comment. "Jesus, Binna," you shook your head as she joined your laughter. "I think he's doing well because this whole Chanyeol situation is finally coming to an end." You reminded the both of you of the hopefully last time you'd ever come face to face with the man of the hour. The day was coming closer, prayers were being said each night, quietly just hoping to make it stop.

Your best friend gave you a nod in understanding. "When are you seeing Jihoon again? Tomorrow, right?" You nodded. "Then we can finally stop talking about this piece of shit. He's been occupying your mind a little too much." Just like most of the time, she was yet again right about that. The following day would be the last consultation you'd have with Wonwoo's lawyer before your court date on Friday - Payday.

"Yeah, well," you sighed in frustration, leaning back in the wooden chair, "Can you blame me?"

"No, no, of course not," she quickly reassured you, patting your hand. "But at least you also got some other things to keep your mind occupied with." Wiggling her eyebrows to underline her question. Even without her antic, you would've known what she was implying.

"You mean Wonwoo?" You chuckled, to which she excitedly nodded, biting down on her lips to hide the grin that was daring to escape. "But even there's Chanyeol involved! Do you know how much we've talked about him?"

"Ugh," Binna faked a gag, "Can we just agree to not say his name out loud anymore? Let's just call him... Grapefruit." That woman and her codenames. Ever since she had started working as a teacher, this became a thing of hers to do with all of the men she shared a bed with. At first, it was only to be able to talk about them in front of the kids, since some of those stories may have included a single father or two of the kids in her class, but she had let it seep into her everyday life. Explaining why you'd now find yourself calling a thirty-something-year-old grown man "bookshelf", just because of the way his haircut looked from the side. Grapefruit would be added to the list.

"Grapefruit?"

"Yeah," she nodded, taking another sip, "I hate Grapefruits. Anyways-," she waved it off to change the subject. "What do you mean you talk about Cha- I mean, Grapefruit?"

"Well- like, about the entire situation. You know, some evenings we spent going through court stuff or looked through what he's been up to." Jihoon had mentioned to 'always know who you're going up against'. And Wonwoo and you took his advice to heart. There were multiple nights spent together in the office, sometimes along with Mingyu, or even at his place, going through the files the court had published to you about Exodus' Entertainment. You had stalked his Social Media presence and analyzed his public outings. The smiles he would fake, the words he would lie with. You knew this man inside out, having spent three years with him did come in handy. Even after all this time, he took up more time inside your brain than you would've liked to.

While continuing your story, you motioned around with your hands on the table. "It even all started with him. Sometimes... I mean, I don't always bring it up with Wonwoo, sometimes it's just in my mind. To myself. But... yeah..." Pressing your pointer to a random spot on the wood.

"Hold up-," Binna raised her hand to stop you, "He started it all? What is 'it'? You and Wonwoo?"

You already knew you'd regret your answer before it had even left your lips, but who else could you be the most honest with, if not your best friend since primary school. "Kinda..." 

"Alright, you're stupid." She simply stated, staring blankly right at you.

"No, wait-" You scolded her, but she just shrugged. 

"What? You're an idiot. Why would you think that? How could that asshole have anything to do with what's going on with you two now?" 

You sighed, shaking your head slightly, knowing you'd have to choose your words wisely "No, no, look. I mean," you sighed with an annoyed undertone, trying to get your eyes off her. "I know he doesn't have any effect on me anymore whatsoever, but you can't deny that because of what happened, Wonwoo and I got closer. The break-in started a whole chain reaction-"

"That's idiotic to think about-" Before she could finish, you cut her off.

"No, it's not. It's what made us talk more to each other. Why we started to actually interact and realise that we would have to work with each other and not against each other like we did before." The two of you knew, your words held some truth.

Binna violently shook her head, her bob moving along, "Maybe for you, but most definitely not for him."

You scrunched your eyebrows at the slightly slurred words from your best friend. "What do you mean?"

"He invited you to that event thing before all that shit went down. For God's sake, Y/N!" She shouted into the room, immediately making you jump up to cover her mouth from across the table. You sent her a wide-eyed glare, hoping to make her understand to shut her mouth. Binna nodded as she grasped your hand to pull it down, continuing her exclaim in a quieter volume. "He bought you a fucking dress! And not a cheap one!"

"I know that! But keep it quiet," you snapped at her, sitting back down to continue nursing your drink which was now close to getting empty. God, you should've just ordered two at once, just like Binna did.

"You're not listening to what I'm saying-"

"You're not listening to what I'm saying. I don't think that nothing would've ever happened, but it did speed things up A LOT."

"I thought we went over this. Stop overthinking all of this. Be happy for yourself for once in your goddamn life! You've been fucked over by so many men in your life that don't even deserve to know about your existence. Your father included by the way," she pointed out, making you nod. "And now you found a man that would burn down the entire world for you, and you're still thinking about that shit-eating sorry excuse of a man from your past that doesn't even know how to do his own laundry?" The reminder made you almost chuckle, but the truth was too painful.

To think back on the fact that you once had your hands down his laundry basked and washing machine, because he didn't know how to make use of it, sent a shiver down your spine. "He did actually not know how to do that."

"That's what I'm saying," she sighed out desperately, throwing her head back with a groan. "All of them were such a waste of your time and patience and kindness. So... just enjoy what you have with Wonwoo now. So what if Grapefruit sped up things for you two? If anything, that's a good thing."

"I... I know what you mean. And... I... UGH-" You groaned under your breath, covering your face with your hands before running your fingers through your hair, an exhausted huff of air leaving your lips. If you could, you would've already punched yourself. Just like Binna did after you had told her what happened in Wonwoo's apartment after your quick trip to the Monbebe - she left a bruise that didn't go away for four days and Wonwoo had quite a few questions about that.

"He's not the reason for anything but misery in your life, alright?" The casual use of the nickname made you chuckle. "Wonwoo would still be knees deep for you, he'd still be this big fucking simp, and you'd also still have a crush on him that you, even now, don't want to admit to."

You interfered after hearing her comment as she slyly continued eating some of the fries in the middle of the table. "Hey! That's not true." You huffed out, mumbling the last part of the sentence.

"Oh, it's not? Have you ever said, you know what, 'I like him'? Or 'I have a crush on him'? " Binna nagged, knowing eventually she'd get something out of you.

You decided to stay silent, desperately hoping she'd just drop the subject but both of you knew better than that. 

"Exactly." She pressed her lips and eyes tightly together, her fingers digging into her temples. "You don't know if you have a crush on the man you've been spending the past three weeks with? Non-stop." Binna opened her eyes again to meet yours. "You don't know if you have a crush on the man that has been sending you flowers and food every single day at work? You wanna tell me you don't have a crush on the only man that has been actually able to make you come for the first time in-" Her continuous ranting made you groan out loud.

"OKAY! I like him, alright?! Fine! You win! I like him." With a last deep breath, you stunned her. "There. I said it. I like him, Binna. I really do. I'm scared, yes, fuck it, I'm terrified even, but whatever is going on right now feels really good and I really don't want to fuck it up."

You had decided to let yourself give into him, slowly but surely. The final decision must've happened way earlier in your brain. After yet another hot and passionate session of yours, late at night, cuddling into his side as he subconsciously was still grazing his fingers over your skin while slowly giving into the sleepiness that had overcome him. 

You couldn't help it. The more you tried to fight it, the more Wonwoo was willing to fight. A fresh set of flowers on your desk every single week, pastries from the bakery Binna and you had recently found and started to love every morning by the front desk at the office, heck even the car keys you hadn't been able to get rid of yet. By now it had basically turned into a game of you trying to leave them in his apartment or office, only for you to find them inside your bag later that day again. It made you chuckle each time. He was a stubborn one, that Jeon Wonwoo. Whenever your own thoughts were starting to catch up with you, trying to remind you that he was indeed too good to be true, and every man would eventually turn out to be the same, the CEO made sure to be right there, keeping your mind clean and ensuring you of his not-always-so-inocennt, yet pure intentions with you. The few sleepless nights the two of you had been spending together were proof of just that.

With wide eyes and a smug smile on her lips, Binna leaned back, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Well done. I'm proud of you."

Sulkingly, knowing she had finally gotten what she wanted, you crossed your arms. "Leave me alone."

The woman in front of you continued to gaze at you, her lips sealed as she took in your sunken-in frame. A sad smile was starting to form on her face. "You don't have to pretend to be all cold and cool about this. He's pretty cute. With all the stuff he does."

You wish you could've stopped the blush spreading on your cheeks, but it shined so proudly, lighting up your entire face as you bit down on your bottom lip.

"I know," you mumbled, taking a fry to fill your mouth with, trying to distract yourself from the situation and hoping your body would stop naturally reacting like that.

A second of silence passed between the two of you before Binna's chuckle interrupted it. She let her forearms rest on top of the table, leaning in to catch your gaze.

"I haven't seen you blush like that in years," she commented softly, reaching to pet the back of your hand. "You deserve this, Y/N. Enjoy it."

Slowly, you raised your head, still almost too shy to lock eyes with her directly. Your gaze quickly fell to your hands touching before chuckling, finding your own thoughts ridiculous, but as embarrassing as it may have seemed to you, you couldn't and didn't want to hold back.

"I really do like him."

Your best friend nodded, "I know," a proud smile decorating her face. Happiness had never looked and felt so good.

-

The plain white walls were starting to dawn on you. A waiting room so sterile, with two paintings being the only splash of colour in the entire corridor, would do that. Even after all the times you had spent sitting there, you were still not used to it and weren't planning on it any time soon. The hope of not having to return all that much ever again had not yet vanished.

A heavy sigh tumbled from your lips as you sulked even deeper into the grey-cushioned seats Jihoon had chosen for his law firm. The past twenty minutes had started to feel closer to an hour with the hollowness of the room. The only sound echoing through your ear was the rushed typing of his assistant around the corner, who hadn't stopped ever since you had arrived. Not even your phone could entertain you enough anymore, time was just moving too slowly.

Wonwoo, with whom you came, had just gotten off the phone with God-knows-who when he directed his attention to you. Amusement made his lips curl up as he put his phone into the inside pouch of his suit jacket before hiding his hands in his pockets.

"He likes to take his time." 

Your exclaim of a breath told him everything he needed to know. He took a quick peek at the still-closed door to the lawyer's office. A door you had been staring at for at least ten minutes.

You took a deep breath in desperation. "Yeah, a little too much time." Your comment made Mingyu, who was sitting opposite of you chuckle. You had to hold back any snarky remark, remembering that he was your last bit of hope and you were supposed to give him all the time he could possibly need. He was a busy man after all and you were most definitely not his only clients. 

Wonwoo's laugh rang through your ear as he got closer to your seated position. "Well, look who's suddenly the impatient one." His comment made you roll your eyes but made the slight smile playing on your lips almost impossible to hide. The past few weeks with him must've done something with you. 

Ever since that late-night event after your not-so-pleasant visit to the Monbebe, the dynamic between the two of you had changed. Drastically. It was less about built-up anger and frustration, not even about hidden tension anymore. Much rather was it now about appreciation, care, and gentleness and... even enjoyment. In all this mess, the two of you had found a way to enjoy each other's presence and forget about the daunting events that were still haunting you.

You two had spent more nights together since then. More than your old self would probably like to admit. But your new self?... She enjoyed it. Not only did those nights end in sex. No, some were just filled with late-night talking - some work-related, others not. He had started asking questions. Quite a few even. About you, and your childhood. Wonwoo had wanted to know what your favourite season was, what your favourite memory of your school time was, and which celebrity you'd bring back from the dead if you could - questions no other ex had ever even entertained to wonder about. Some questions you hadn't even ever asked yourself. And you answered him. You gave him an answer to every single one of his questions. In return, you had found out about his childhood best friends, about him being his grandmother's favourite grandchild, and about what he'd do if he could go back in time. You got to get to know Wonwoo. Not hot-playboy-CEO-bachelor Jeon Wonwoo, but the Jeon Wonwoo, who graduated top of his year at Seoultech University. Wonwoo, whose discovery of stage fright in middle school shattered his dreams of becoming an actor even before his father could drag him into the family business. Wonwoo, who would kill and die for his friends and family and who might look and act like the coldest asshole to walk the streets of the city, but could be deeply caring about the ones most important to him at the same time. You had almost forgotten about the person you had always thought he had been as you got to meet the real side of him. 

The side that called his mum at least once a week whenever she wasn't in town to keep up with the latest gossip she had to tell him. He'd roll his eyes while on the phone with her, sending you looks of apology while you continued to sip on the wine he had poured for you, chuckling at the sight in front of you as he walked around the apartment, nodding along to whatever his mother was ranting about. The side that would never forget your dinner reservations at 8, already thinking about what you'd be wearing and what flowers to get you to match your outfit while listening to yet another uneducated business partner and throwing him out of the room as soon as one wrong comment would fall from their lips. He cursed their existence and the entirety of the corporate world while promising to make his own office and company a place where employees would enjoy coming to work.

He'd sit in his office, checking his wrist every few minutes, counting down the time and catching glimpses at you talking to the other employees, desperately waiting for the work day to end, so he could be at home, doing the dishes he had left in the sink in the morning, still needing to change the bedsheets before you'd arrive with the food you had promised to pick up on the way. How domestic of you two.

There were no obligations, no rules you had to follow. You were just enjoying yourself. Enjoying your time with him. The words he had trusted you with had branded themselves onto your heart and brain, reminding you every single day of what you were getting yourself into. You started to trust him. You were starting to fall. It was crazy. You couldn't help yourself, you couldn't hold back. You didn't want to. Falling was something so inevitably impossible to stop from happening. Whether you're falling over, falling down, or... falling in love.

You had caught yourself looking at him already. Multiple times in the last few weeks. Commenting to yourself, he's facial structure, the tilted line of his jaw, and the bridge of his nose were just aesthetically pleasing. No one would deny, that you were correct in your assumption. But that was not the reason you couldn't help yourself from looking at him. You had ignored the tingle in your stomach and the warmth spreading in your chest. But there was only so much time that you could tell yourself it was nothing until it did become something. And the end of that time arrived sooner than you could've prepared yourself for and hit you like a wall.

You had repeatedly thought about those nights you had spent with him, sitting by the dining table, snacking on the takeout you had decided on for that evening while reading out loud letters from the courthouse, the judge, Jihoon, Jeonghan, and even Chanyeol. Statements from Sehun were rarely ever in the mail you received, he opted for texting you privately, promising to stand with you and support the decisions you would make. But those evenings had led to the current scene unfolding. Another appointment in the Lee Jihoon law firm. The, hopefully, last official time you'd meet here for the haunting reason of Park Chanyeol.

Wonwoo grunted as he threw himself onto the empty seat next to you, "I swear to God, once we're in there, I'm gonna-"

"You're not gonna do anything," you interrupted him, looking to your left to find his side profile as he was still glaring at the closed door. His patience was running thin, you could tell. With a smirk and a scoff, he leaned back and turned to the side, his eyes meeting yours.

"You don't believe me?" He teasingly wondered.

"Oh no, I do believe you," you assured him with a similar smile, "But I also know that you know better than to anger your only friend that can get us out of this."

"Can you maybe not flirt right in front of me?" The younger CEO cringed as he looked towards the door, trying to divert his eyes from the two of you.

Before Wonwoo was able to talk back, a snarky remark already playing on the tip of his tongue, the white door suddenly opened, revealing the slightly messy head of wavy hair.

"Am I interrupting something?" Jihoon joked as he looked into the hallway, his eyes immediately finding you two and your faces that had subconsciously moved in closer to each other.

With a quick move, Wonwoo pushed himself up from the cushion, his hand already awaiting yours to help you up as well. "Yeah, I was just talking about breaking in your door." You ignored his helping hand, opting to stand up yourself, only to feel his gentle grip on your elbows. Was he really helping you? No. Did you still enjoy the soft touch? Yes.

"Hilarious as always." Jihoon nodded, walking back inside, leaving you to let yourself in.

Before walking ahead, you snatched the two thin folders you had brought yourself into your hands and let yourself get led by Wonwoo's hand on your lower back. Something else, you had learned about him was his love for physical touch. Secret little touches had become a standard when standing or sitting next to him. Wonwoo was by no means a man attracted to any form of PDA, he enjoyed it very much privately though. But no one could deny his love for keeping his hand or even just a finger on you. He took pride in doing this as secretly as possible, making no one else notice it. Mentioning physical touch being his love language only got you a roll of his eyes, you recall, and a comment about Yeri, his cousin, nagging him about doing tests like them on the internet, as well as an MBTI test, so he'd 'have it much easier to find a suitable partner'. Later that day, he did admit those tests revealed that his love languages were, in fact, physical touch, as well as, words of affirmation and gift-giving. And his MBTI was, to his last knowledge, INFJ.

Mingyu closed the door as he was the last one to enter, and all four of you in your designated seats in Jihoon's office - him behind his big desk, you right opposite of him, with Wonwoo to your left and Mingyu on your right. The room matched the entire floor perfectly. Pearl-white walls locked you in, and every door matched the colour of the walls. Each piece of furniture was fitted to the cool tones he had decided on. The floor continued to be dark grey, reminding you of a modern doctor's office. Everyone had their own taste, but you were thankful your office looked much different.

You handed him the last piece of content he'd need for the final trial tomorrow. During the past weeks, Jihoon and Jeonghan had consultations with the judge privately, as well as publicly. None of you were supposed to be there as it was only between the lawyers, and he was yet to update you on the progress he had made.

"Okay," the lawyer looked through the printed-out document you had brought along. "This is everything Sehun has texted you? Every single thing. Every word, every picture he sent, every single emoji? Everything."

You nodded along with his questions.

"Everything. I promise. I didn't change anything. I just, copy and pasted it," you swore to him as you spoke the truth.

Jihoon thanked you. "I'll get this to the judge before the trial tomorrow. She won't read it out loud while we're in the courtroom unless it's one hundred per cent necessary so that nothing will happen to Sehun."

"Thanks," you smiled at him. You had kindly asked him to do just that. With everything going on, and Chanyeol already hating enough people, his anger being on a 10/10 most likely, you didn't want to throw Sehun under the bus and call him out for helping you and doing the right thing. What he'll do after this shitshow was done was his issue to deal with and not your place to be involved in.

"So," Wonwoo decided to lead the following conversation. "Where are we right now? How are things looking so far?"

The younger man leaned back in his chair, throwing the pieces of paper back on his desk. He took a deep breath. "Good, I'd say."

"You'd say? That was a yes-or-no kind of question," The CEO stated, his facial expression strict and cold, just like the rest of the world knew him.

"Well, Wonwoo, I can't guarantee you anything. These people are unpredictable. They always have something up their sleeve, like literally constantly, and I'm trying my damn best here-"

"Then do better-"

"Wonwoo-" Mingyu tried to stop the two.

"Wait," you interrupted them before their fight could explode. "What do you mean? What happened last time?" Your eyes were trained on the lawyer as he pushed his chair to turn around, getting a brown file out of his cupboard before turning back, and throwing it to land right in front of you.

Once you got your hands on it and opened the file, you let your eyes rake over each line written in what seemed to be a university document from Seoultech. With your eyebrows scrunched together and your mouth slightly hanging open, you lifted your head to glance at Wonwoo.

"You cheated on your final exams and plagiarised your dissertation?" 

"What?" He quickly got a hold of the piece of paper, reading it for himself, and opened his mouth, ready to raise his voice as he stood up. "That's-"

"Bullshit, I know," Jihoon stopped him calmly. "Don't worry, I called them and got statements from your professors."

Wonwoo looked at his friend in confusion, "But most of them are retired," who just walked over to him to get the file back into his ownership, a smirk proudly presented on his lips.

"I told you, I'm good at my job." Making the CEO scoff and roll his eyes.

You were still in a twilight zone, not able to follow every detail you had read and the conversation happening between the two men.

"But if it was so easy for you to debunk it, why did they write something like that?" Mingyu wondered, gaining back the lawyer's attention.

He sighed before shrugging and settling back into his chair. "I guess they just wanted to try. They claimed Wonwoo to be a master in faking documents, not realising that if I were to find the real ones, they'd be accused of doing the exact same thing. At this point, they have almost nothing else to lose because they're already so close to losing this entire lawsuit."

"Well," Wonwoo jumped in, choosing to continue standing up, "Then what's gonna happen tomorrow? Anything we need to be prepared for?"

Jihoon looked down at his desk as his fingers had started to play with a pen, occupying himself as he talked. 

"Before I brought you guys in, I sent them some final stuff. Some of the statements Sehun got us, and the security camera footage from your office. I think it was Vernon, but he was able to zoom into the face and de-pixel it, which was revealed to be one of Chanyeol's employees who I had mentioned already last week in front of the judge. So, they'll go over that and comment on it tomorrow. They'll probably ask you guys some more questions about the night of the break-in. Like, where you were, what you were doing, how did you find out, and so on. Just be honest about that. Try to stick to the version you guys have told me, that would make my life a lot easier, thank you. They'll also question Park about it, probably also Sehun." He fell quiet for a second before continuing. "Everything else is pretty much done. They reached out to some of the women, but most of them declined to show up in court personally and chose to send in videos and written statements. It would be smart to read them out loud, but I don't know if they will or if they'll protect the identities of those women. My plan would be to win your lawsuit tomorrow and let them handle the sexual assault cases alone without us involved. And I don't know how that will play in for us... I mean- they've seen all of Yoon's tricks, and they're really not impressed by him from what I could tell."

"Good," Wonwoo commented in the middle of it.

"But they also haven't forgotten about your little fight, remember that." He pointed a strict finger at the oldest one in the room.

Another reason, why Jihoon and Jeonghan had been asked to be seen in front of the judge alone was 'for their own safety'. After the last encounter all of you had in court ended in Wonwoo and Chanyeol almost beating each other up, the judge, Miss Kang, had sent out individual emails, asking the lawyers to visit her on their own. The last sitting would be with everyone again though.

"I have the feeling that the jury is definitely on our side, but the judge might ask about the fight and possible anger issues," Jihoon continued to explain.

Wonwoo scoffed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "What do anger issues have to do with any of this?! And if anyone has anger issues, it's that fucking idiot Park, alright?!"

The younger one of the two and you looked at each other in silence, also sharing a quick look with Mingyu, before turning towards the CEO. A tight smile made its way onto your face, but the awkward silence hung heavily in the room. Wonwoo glanced at Jihoon first, before desperately looking at Mingyu and you. With a deep breath, he decided to sit back down.

"I have anger issues only when it comes to him."

-

Getting into Wonwoo's car the day of the last court sitting almost felt like every other time you had done it. The sequence was the same. He'd text you, he was on his way. Once he arrived, he'd ring the number of your apartment and you'd let him in. You'd leave your front door open, so he could come in once he reached your floor while getting your bag ready and possibly doing some finishing touches on your makeup. Days where you had spent the previous night at his place were slightly different. After having breakfast together at his dining table, and brushing your teeth, Wonwoo would get ready in the morning to chauffeur you to your apartment. He'd patiently wait in your living room while you got ready in your bedroom. He had offered to keep some things at his apartment already, yet you declined, assuring yourself of not moving too quickly by still getting ready for the day in your own room. Having a toothbrush and stuff to sleep in at his place was enough for you for the time being.

Your focus was solely on your phone as you texted Mingyu your whereabouts, asking him if he had already made his way over to the courthouse. Nervously, you had also texted Jihoon, keeping him updated with every street you got closer and closer.

The sudden touch of a hand on your knee made you look up. "Stop." Wonwoo had put his hand on you, stopping your leg from violently shaking. "You have no reason to be nervous, we got this."

"That's easier said than done," you scoffed. "They could destroy us. They could've something planned and we wouldn't know."

"Could you check the glove compartment, please?" Wonwoo got your attention, making you raise your head at his sudden question after enjoying the silence in the car.

"Hm?" You hummed.

With a quick glance at you and a nod towards the storage unit in his car, he repeated his question. "The glove compartment. I got a letter from my mum yesterday, and I put it in there. She texted me and said it was for both of us." With a swift one-handed move, you rounded the corner.

"For us?" You wondered confused, reaching forward to open the compartment.

He shrugged. "I don't know."

You got the letter in your hands, immediately noticing the pastel pink envelope, chuckling to yourself. Jeon Chaewon's role as one of the most feminine old-fashioned ladies you had ever met was no joke.

Careful not to destroy the paper too much, you opened the letter, getting the piece of paper out of the envelope when two extra pieces fell into your lap - slightly smaller than the letter itself. You decided to take a look at them first. After turning them around, you gasped. Your hand fell to your mouth before a chuckle erupted from your lungs.

"What?" A quick glance at Wonwoo made Wonwoo's eyebrows shoot up, only to calm down again once he noticed your amusement.

You couldn't help but bite down on your lip as you showed him the plane tickets. "Your mum's sending us to Paris?" Throwing the question into the room as you were still confused, now directing your attention to the letter, reading through the lines she wrote.

"Oh," you exclaimed. "There's a business even in Paris. She wants us to go." Reading the last sentence got another chuckle out of you. "She said, P.S.: If you want to take Mingyu along as well, I can get you another ticket, but think about that carefully."

"Aaah," Wonwoo nodded, stopping at a red light, letting his elbow rest by the window as he glanced to your side. "She told me about this before she left." He reached out to read through the letter himself. "But I didn't know she already booked tickets for us."

"And a hotel," you added.

"A hotel too?" He wondered, looking at you as you leaned over the middle console to point towards the sentence where she had mentioned the hotel you'd be staying in.

Wonwoo sighed, "Jesus..." With his focus still on the handwriting of his mother, he forgot about the illuminating lights ahead of you.

You glanced up as the green light hit your eyes. "It's green," you pointed out, snatching the letter out of his hand, so he'd put his focus back on the road.

Wonwoo noticed you had gone quiet, while your eyes were on the tickets and the letters. "Do you want to go?" He asked.

You looked up at him, putting all the pieces of paper back together into the envelope. "I think now is not really the right time to think about a Paris trip, to be honest."

"But it's a business trip."

"Yeah," you chuckled. "But to Paris." You continued to look at him, waiting for him to meet your eyes. He exchanged glances with you for a short moment, his lips curling up the slightest amount.

"Yes. As a business trip," he repeated, making you chuckle. "So, do you wanna go?" He asked you again, keeping you in his view as you reached another red light for a few seconds.

With a deep breath in, you shrugged your shoulders, keeping the envelope in your grip as your bag was still in the backseat. "Sure, why not. We should do it for your mum if she requested it."

"For my mum?" Wonwoo chuckled, making you nod.

"Yeah," you cleared your throat. "I mean, if she already booked everything, it would be rude not to go. And like you said, it's a business trip for an event, so... that would be good, right?"

He nodded. "Right."

For a second, you stayed silent before speaking up again, noticing how much closer you had gotten to the courthouse.

"Should we ask Mingyu if he'd want to come as well?"

"God no," Wonwoo was quick to answer with a huff. He took a quick look at you, a grin already spreading on his lips. "Somebody's gotta keep the company in check while we're gone, right?"

With a smile, you nodded along with him. "Mm, you're right." Before both of you fell into another round of comfortable silence while the smile never left your lips, biting down to hide it.

You turned your head to glance outside of the window, watching the buildings pass before Wonwoo took the last right turn to enter the parking lot.

-

Exiting the car and walking towards the main entrance of the courthouse, you were suddenly attacked by a group of men and women clinging onto their notebooks.

"Miss Yoon! Do you think, you will win!"

"Mister Jeon, are you confident for the trial today?"

"Is it true that Mister Park was a bad ex-boyfriend?"

"Is this all a publicity stunt to get more attention and build up your company, Mister Jeon?"

"Was the judge bribed by Mister Park and Mister Oh?"

With shock written all over your face, you came to a sudden halt, the grip on your bag strap tightening. Wonwoo, who was right behind you, hot on your heels, was quick to reach around you, pulling you in closer towards his body as soon as he heard the first words being shouted at the two of you. The cold glare of the CEO didn't stop the journalists from coming closer, pestering you with even more questions. The sudden attention overwhelmed you as you stumbled up the stairs towards the main entrance, where Jihoon was already waiting for you, holding the door open, and ushering you to move faster. As soon as your feet crossed the ledge, he closed the doors.

"Get a life!" He shouted at the mass, as they groaned in synch, turning back around and separated into individual groups again.

Still in shock, you turned around, not noticing the hand still on your body, not meaning to let go any time soon. 

"What the hell was that?!" You exclaimed, brushing through your hair the wind had messed up slightly.

Jihoon groaned, walking past you, making the two of you follow him together as he started explaining. "I don't know who called them. Last week only two of them were here, but Jesus..."

"But why are journalists so interested in this? It's not like this is a national scandal-"

"Not national, but within the corporate world, this is quite big. Park's company might be about to break, and everyone wants in on that," Jihoon explained as you were catching your breath again, finding Mingyu's tight smile as he stood by the door of the courtroom, patiently waiting for you.

"Or maybe they're here to watch the Jeon empire collapse." A sudden all-too-familiar voice caught you off guard. Turning around, you were met with the mischievous eyes you've known for oh so long. "How tragic would that be," Jeonghan smirked at you three, his hand deep in his pocket as he casually walked up to you.

"We'll see about that," the lawyer snapped back.

Seeing the cheeky smile that had been haunting you for weeks made your heart race in anger as you bit down on your tongue, knowing every word you'd give off yourself could be turned against you. Without another comment, you turned around and rushed over to Mingyu in quick steps, greeting him with a hug, forgetting about Wonwoo and Jihoon, who decided to join you, leaving your cousin in the middle of the corridor before he disappeared around the corner again.

"Where's he going?" The younger CEO wondered, nudging his head towards the direction Loki had just left in.

Wonwoo shrugged, "Who knows."

"Probably consoling Park and Oh about some last-minute stuff," Jihoon took the word, glancing at you three. "Is everything clear with you guys? Any questions?"

Mingyu and you shook your heads as the oldest answered for all of you.

"No, let's get this shit over with." Speaking from your soul.

-

The four of you were directed towards your designated table on the left side of the room with Jihoon on the far right, closest to the middle of the room, followed by Wonwoo to his left, then you, and Mingyu was seated next to you. The rest of the room was empty, apart from the court reporter who was setting up her station and the security man by each door. As the trial was private, no public interests were allowed in the room. Even with the silence filling it, neither one of you even dared to open your mouth, knowing better than to let anything get to you.

The entrance door opened, the voices of the three people entering immediately bounced off the walls. They may have tried to whisper, but God knows they were terrible at it.

"Good morning," Jeonghan bowed to each security guard with a smile on his face, his followers copying him. As they passed your group, your cousin also sent a grin towards you, Chanyeol opted for a smug nod of his head while Sehun was seen with a genuine tight smile.

Exodus' CEO leaned back in his chair as soon as they all sat down, a loud sigh coming from him, making you close your eyes and take a deep breath in annoyance.

"Aaah," he moaned. "What a beautiful day today is, right guys? How terrible it would be to ruin that for someone." He took a quick look at your table, meeting Wonwoo's glare, but it only made Chanyeol chuckle.

You continued your prayers inside your head to let this pass quickly, followed by praying for his downfall and that he may please rot in a cell and never feel the touch of another human being ever again. He deserved nothing else.

Paranoid, you turned around to make sure your bag was still hanging over the back of your chair. After finding it right where you left it, your train of thought was interrupted.

"The jury will now enter!" A voice echoed through the room, making all of your heads look straight ahead to where the door opened. You could tell, not one of you had thought the trial would start so suddenly. The people who would make up the jury and would eventually be part of the reason for either your victory or downfall today entered the room. None of them even dared to lock eyes with any of you. Everyone kept their heads down until they were seated.

"All rise!" The voice spoke up again, making all of you act responsively as you stood up in synch, the sound of your chairs screeching against the floor slashing through your ear canal.

The door on the very far right side in front of you opened, revealing Miss Kang, the judge that had been assigned to your case. She greeted everyone in the room with a kind smile, making her warm presence light up the room. She was one of the good people within the law enforcement sector of the country, you just knew it. She'd trust you. Right?...

Judge Kang sat down on the big leathered chair, organising the stacks of paper in front of her, before taking a deep breath. 

"This court is now in session, you may be seated," she called out into the room. Each person followed her demand, taking a seat again, nudging their chairs closer towards the table in front of them.

"We've got quite beautiful weather today, so let's not make this complicated, alright? I think we all want to enjoy the few rays of sunshine," she tried to lighten up the aura of the courtroom, clearly noticing the heavy tension daunting on all of you. Quiet chuckles could be heard, following her comment, smiling faces gazing up at her.

She looked down at her papers. "Alright, we call the case 7.4.2-8 in which Oskan & Co. has been charged with theft and stolen copyright by Exodus Entertainment. Is the plaintiff ready?" She directed her eyes to the right table.

"Yes, Your Honour," Jeonghan answered her politely. The pitch of his voice could send a shiver down your spine almost in an instant. Laced with pretentiousness. You had to remind yourself not to react. Not even the smallest muscle on your face was supposed to move.

Unfaced, she then turned towards you. "Is the defence ready?"

Jihoon nodded confidently, "Yes, your honour."

"Good," she smiled again. "We'll first hear the opening statement from the defence, just to freshen up everyone's memory since it's been a while since we have all gathered here, right? Defendant lawyer, Lee Jihoon, please lay out the facts."

-

Breaks were forgotten. The trial was in full motion. One after the other was asked to come forward, sit down and get questioned by their own lawyer, followed by getting torn to shreds by the lawyer of the opposite party. Judge Kang had let Jihoon decide whether he'd want to start questioning one of you first somebody from the plaintiff - he chose to bring out Mingyu. 'Let's start with a defence, not attack', you remembered him saying.

Jeonghan followed by questioning Wonwoo. Picking people apart psychologically was one of his strongest character traits, he was raised by one of Korea's greatest manipulators after all. But his new approach confused you. Unlike the way you had seen him before, he was soft-spoken with the CEO. Nudging his answers out one by one while keeping a low tone. He must've known just how much Wonwoo would usually react to somebody talking to him like he was as stupid as they could come, but he kept it cool. It surprised all of you. He continued nodding politely, excusing himself every now and then, keeping his sharp tongue in the back of his throat, and never declining Jeonghan's accusations directly. Just like you had practised. The words 'No, this didn't happen' never once fell. Wordings like 'Not exactly', 'As far as I know', and 'To my understanding', were the only ones to ever hit your ear. If all calculated correctly, it must've left a good impression on the judge and jury.

Jihoon opted to get Chanyeol out of his seat next. What Jeonghan could do, he could only do better. He had the receipts.

He started out civil and collected. Asking questions about his whereabouts the night of the break-in, followed by general questions about the company, as they were slowly diverted to subject his private life. His hobbies, and how he would spend his weekdays and weekends if work was out of the question. Jeonghan tried his best to object to each question that wasn't concerning the case directly, but you better bet Jihoon had the perfect explanation for each of his statements ready to roll off his tongue. Every time your cousin shot out of his chair, his voice echoing through the room loud and clear, he was asked to sit down just as quickly.

Chanyeol was asked to stay seated as Jeonghan switched places with the other lawyer in the room, opening his mouth to defend his client as best as he could. If only it wasn't for Jihoon doing a much better job in the first place.

You let your eyes glide across the room. Focused on Miss Kang, you watched her take note after note, marking her own thoughts and questions down as the trial proceeded. Further on the right, the jury seemed invested. Some nodded along with each word coming from Jeonghan, while others scrunched up their faces as soon as Chanyeol would even just take a breath before coming up with an answer. It almost made you chuckle. You couldn't see Sehun unless you'd lean back, but you decided against it. It might direct unwanted attention to your action. You were about to glance at the security guard on the left side of the room when the sound of your name hit your ear.

Your head shot towards Jeonghan.

"To my understanding, you were in a committed relationship with one of the defendants." His steps came to a halt right in front of Exodus' CEO. Before he could even open his mouth, Jihoon hastily pushed his chair back.

"Objection, your honour! Privilege! To my understanding, we had decided to leave private relationships out of this trial if not directly connected." Each one of you knew that there was only a hint of truth in his statement since you were all convinced most of this trial was indeed directly connected to the bon you had once shared with the other man.

Judge Kang nodded. "You are correct about that, Mister Lee." She turned her attention to her left, but Jeonghan took the first word.

"Your honour, but doesn't the defendant being a past lover of my client not seem like a direct connection to the case? The fact that Mister Park's work has been stolen by the company partially led by a grieving past significant other must look like less of a coincidence and more like an act of revenge." How dare he use the words 'significant other'.

Miss Kang couldn't help but sigh as she took a quick look at Jihoon, an apologetic expression daunting on her face before she nodded. "Yes, Mister Yoon. You may continue. But try to keep emotional descriptions out of your statements, please," she advised him.

Jihoon lowered his head, taking a deep breath, "Shit." His mumble suddenly got your heart to skip up. You could feel it starting to pump much harder than before. In no possible way was his reaction a good sign. Wonwoo immediately noticed the change in atmosphere, turning towards you, to catch your side profile as you had closed your eyes and held your head down, trying to block out any of the words coming from Jeonghan or Chanyeol.

"The relationship was mostly very peaceful. I mean, just like every other couple, we had our quarrels and misunderstandings, but not much more than that." With a fake sigh, he looked at the jury, trying to paint his eyes with as much pain as possible before he continued. "Towards the end... it did get bad though... you know, I was always told that jealousy was healthy, at least a little bit, but it became quite extreme."

"From Miss Yoon?" Jeonghan nudged him.

"Yes," Chanyeol nodded. "I think me deciding to end things possibly left her in quite a hole-"

Jihoon shot up again. "Objection! Hearsay, your honour."

The judge nodded, "Sustained. Mister Park, please don't interpret any of the defendant's emotions. Just answer Mister Yoon's questions directly." Her reaction made the CEOs smile. She nodded at Jihoon as he sat back down with a quick bow.

Jeonghan took a deep breath. "I would just like to ask the jury to take Mister Park's side of this story into consideration."

"I'm sure they will, Mister Yoon." Miss Kang sent him a tight smile before leaning back in her chair.

Jeonghan dismissed himself as Exodus' CEO was asked to sit down by the table again.

It was now or never.

Only a year ago, you would tell yourself it wasn't worth it to fight back. That Chanyeol was much more powerful than you. Whatever you'd say would be just pushed under the rug. No one would care what you'd have to say. But not now. You had three people right next to you, ready to support whatever you would be stating out there. You had a judge who would patiently listen to you. There was an entire jury that was possibly still undecided. But most importantly, you had yourself and the truth. You had the facts. You knew what was right and what was wrong. Why should the bad guys win just because you didn't even dare to stand up? Too many times, people have let moments like these just pass. Not again. Not now. They couldn't win. You wouldn't let them win. This was for all the women he had hurt. Each woman that decided against facing him in court, but was strong enough to give their statements. You couldn't let them down. They helped you to get so far, now it was your turn.

"Well then," Miss Kang's voice glided through the room. "If there's nothing else to say anymore, I-"

"Excuse me, you honour." Suddenly you could feel each pair of eyes on your form. Each member of the jury had their face turned towards you. Judge Kang's eyebrows raised at the surprised interruption. Sehun, Chanyeol, and Jeonghan unexpectedly looked up, shock written all across their face. Mingyu and Jihoon had lifted their heads to look at you while Wonwoo's hand subconsciously had reached out right, ready to pull you back, unsure of what you were getting yourself into and surprised by your sudden exclaim.

"Yes, Miss Yoon?"

You swallowed the forming gulp in your throat. "I... I still would like to say something. Mister Lee still has to question me."

She nodded. "Of course, would you like to come out?" With her palm, she motioned to the witness stand seat to her left, to which you agreed, pushing your chair back gently before getting the bag off the back. Opening it, the folder you were looking for was already smiling at you. You got it out, opened it to get what you needed and made your way forward. As you passed Jihoon, who had stood up, you came to a halt.

"Ask me everything," you met his eyes. "Every little thing you need to know to win this, okay?"

Your eyes may have fooled you, but you could almost see fear forming in the man's eyes as he took the paper you had given him, nodding at you as he still tried to comprehend what you were asking of him. With big steps and a proud stance, you held your shoulders straight and made your way over to the witness stand seat.

You took a deep breath as soon as you sat down to calm your nerves that, you were sure, would not vanish any time soon.

"Miss Yoon," Jihoon's voice made you straighten your back as you looked up. All eyes were on you. Your heart was threatening to pump out of your chest at this point. You ignored all the other people in the room. You tried to. Keeping your eyes on the lawyer, that's what he had told you. "How would you describe your relationship with Mister Park?"

"Objection!" Jeonghan shot up from his chair. "Asked and answered."

"Not from Miss Yoon," Jihoon turned towards their table as the Judge agreed with him.

"Overruled. The defendants have yet to speak about this matter. You were given the opportunity, now it's their turn." Explaining the definition of fairness. "Mister Lee, please continue."

"Thank you, Your Honour." Jihoon sent in an encouraging smile. "So Miss Yoon, how would you describe your relationship with Mister Park?"

"Pretty normal in the beginning. Quiet. Private."

"In the beginning?"

You clutched the edge piece of one of the papers in front of you. "Yes."

"Could you please go into detail why only in the beginning?"

"Objection!" Jeonghan called out once again. "Leading question-"

"Overruled," Miss Kang interrupted him before he could even continue. "The defendant specifically mentioned 'in the beginning', so Mister Lee has the right to question her further. Please continue, Miss Yoon." Making the other lawyer sit back down with a sigh and you nod.

"Well... ehm...," you were well aware of your pauses possibly only bringing negative attention onto you, yet you couldn't help it as you tried to form the right sentences in your head. "It seemed like a perfectly normal relationship at first, but... I noticed that his behaviour started changing."

"Changing? In what way?"

"Objection! Compound question."

Judge Kang sighed into the microphone. "Overruled. Mister Lee repeated one word, then followed up with his actual question. Please continue."

You took a deep breath, waiting for Jihoon's assuring nod to answer.

"At first, it started out as jealousy. Or so I thought... later on, about a few months into the relationship... it turned into... something more controlling."

"Could you elaborate on that?" He wondered kindly.

"Yes...," you answered, glancing down at the pieces of evidence you were holding in your hands. Copies of which Jihoon had in his own grip. "At first, he asked me to not leave the house without him- I'm sorry, I meant the apartment we shared." Jihoon nodded along. "Whenever I wouldn't obey to that or... other times when I'd get home later than expected from work... he...," you took a pause. Gulped. Took a shaky breath. Not here. "He would get... really angry."

"How would he show his anger?" He was asking you each question softly, carefully. Understanding the sensitivity as soon as his eyes had landed on the file.

Almost bored, Jeonghan raised his hand, "Objection! Relevance."

Jihoon turned towards the judge. "I think, if we hear my client out, we'd see how relevant her answer is in comparison to Mister Park's comments about their past relationship."

Judge Kang nodded. "I agree. Overruled. Miss Yoon, please continue."

Another unstable breath left your lips. "It was- I mean, differently. At first... it was screaming. Then..." You hadn't even bothered putting on nail polish, so you only had your nails left to pick at. "Then... he'd start to... get physical... sometimes... yeah," you whispered at the end.

"Was there any time you felt truly threatened by Mister Park?"

"Yeah...," you admitted. If some jury members had lost interest in the case, at least by now, everyone's attention was back on track. You could hear a hairpin drop. Each breath you took shook the entire room. "There were... occurrences... when I had to go to the hospital. Because... ehm... he..." careful with your words. "He touched me... without my consent."

Biting down on his lip, Jihoon was careful with each word. "Do you have any evidence of this?"

You decided to only nod, as the security kept a close eye on you, noticing you lifting the papers you were clutching onto with your entire being. He went up to you to take them out of your possession, handing them over to the judge as she asked you to continue while going over the doctor's letter. It was the one piece of hospital evidence you had kept from that time. Everything else seemed irrelevant to you as most of the bruises you had showed up with to the hospital could be explained by hitting your knee or arm against furniture. But not this. But there was a second page to it.

"Miss Yoon," Jihoon started again. "You were admitted to the hospital once before, is that correct? Due to a car crash, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes," you spoke out loud.

"Who was driving the car at that time?"

"Mister Park," you answered honestly, knowing that he was reading every piece of evidence off the paper you had handed to him.

Jihoon nodded, now turning to the woman sitting on the highest chair in the room. "Your honour, if you turn to page two of the piece of evidence you were just handed, you can see the doctor's findings, as well as the police report on page three, after the car crash, involving Park Chanyeol and Yoon Y/N. The police stated it was a crash caused by a drunk driver, that being Mister Park. In which he sustained a mild head injury, while Miss Yoon had to be transported to the hospital due to a broken rib and a bruised leg." After a quick look behind him, he turned back to the judge. "If I'm seeing correctly, this document was signed within the walls of this very courthouse. And yet... it has been deleted completely from Mister Park's file."

You decided to stay quiet. You had done your job. You couldn't even look up, knowing disappointed eyes were probably just waiting for you. You had lied to him. Lied to Wonwoo about the scar on your rib. You had mentioned it was due to an injury from falling at the playground as a kid. He brushed it off to be never spoken about it again. And now this.

"So, the all so happy relationship, Mister Park swore to have had with the defendant... doesn't seem to have been all that peaceful after all. That was all, thank you." He bowed before walking back from his spot, joining Wonwoo and Mingyu by the table again.

The all-along so quiet room suddenly shifted as the jury turned to each other to speak at a normal volume, ignoring the room they were still sitting in. Even Jeonghan, who had held back with his objection towards the end, was quick to turn to Chanyeol, who was already raising his voice, standing up to defend himself.

Before it could all escalate too much, Judge Kang got a hold of her hammer, pounding it against the wood to calm the room. "Quiet!" Each person reacted instantly, getting back into their seats, with their eyes on her.

"We will take a ten-minute break. In the meantime, I will go over these documents. The jury is advised to console each other, but not yet come to a conclusion. We will go over everything after the short break, okay? You're dismissed." With one final hit of the hammer, almost everyone stood up. The jury left the room immediately. Chanyeol had pushed himself off the chair aggressively, rushing out as Jeonghan was hot on his heel. Miss Kang passed you quietly while you stood back up, trying to find your breath to face your group of people again.

Before you had even reached them, Jihoon was already in front of you. "What was that? Are you okay?" But you only nodded. "Are you sure?" He asked again. This time, you smiled.

"Yeah..." a faint whisper left your lips as you could suddenly feel your chest lifting again. The tears that had formed vanished all of a sudden, leaving you with a lighter chest and satisfaction rushing through your body.

"Wh-" Mingyu tried to jump into the conversation, but the lawyer stopped him.

"We should maybe continue this outside."

You all nodded along with him, getting ready to leave the room for the break when a voice behind you made you turn around.

"Y/N." Sehun called out for you. He leaned against the desk slightly awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands as he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." If only he knew how much he had helped you. With two big steps, you stopped right in front of him, not even giving him a second to react as you threw your arms around him, pulling him in. He seemed to be taken aback, but you quickly felt his hand patting your back, making you lean back, leaving him to breathe freely again.

"Thank you," you smiled at him before turning back to the three other men who were patiently waiting for you.

-

The three of you had been standing and sitting around in the hallway of the courthouse for the past three minutes and Wonwoo was yet to say something. Jihoon had exclaimed his concerns for you, Mingyu had asked you around ten times if you were truly okay and after assuring him that you had truly never felt better, he had decided to sit down next to you. The CEO was still standing by the wall, looking straight ahead while not really focusing on anything in particular.

As the lawyer and the second CEO had fallen into a conversation, you chose to leave them alone and join Wonwoo. Standing up, you patted down invisible creases on your blouse, getting closer and closer to him with each step you took. Instead of joining him by standing at his side, you stopped right in front of him.

Looking up, he didn't even dare to meet your eyes. He just continued to stare straight ahead. There was an unreadable expression on his face, making you want to step around him as carefully as possible to not disturb whatever was going on in his head. As cold as the entire building of the old courthouse was, the only chill rushing down your spine was due to his glance.

As soon as you tried to open your mouth, he beat you to it. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" At the same time, he lowered his gaze towards you, meeting your pleading eyes, begging him to talk to you. "About what he did."

With a sigh, you let your head hang as you looked to the ground. With a deep breath, you got the courage to speak to him as you interlocked your glances. "I told you, I wanted to forget everything involving him."

"Yeah, but you can't just forget something like that."

"Well, I tried, okay?!" You suddenly found yourself with a raised voice, surprising both of you, as well as Mingyu and Jihoon, who took a quick look at the two of you but continued their conversation once Wonwoo's cold eyes met theirs. "You really think I want to dwell on such a horrible memory of a man? He was a person I once trusted, and he used that trust and misused me! Of course, I'd want to forget that!" You hissed a breath in and out, lowering your voice again. "But what kind of person would I be if I had just let him portray himself as a victim while fifteen other women made a statement about him sexually harassing them... huh? I was able to live with what happened to me, but he... he hurt SO MANY other women... I- I couldn't just let that pass. If none of them wants to face him, fine. But I have the chance, and don't take it?..." With a sigh, you ended your rant. "I couldn't live with myself after that."

He let the silence linger between you for a short moment as he straightened his back, looking at you again. "How long have you planned on doing this? Why didn't you involve me? Or Jihoon at least? Or for whatever reason maybe even Mingyu?"

"Up until that idiot opened his mouth to talk about me, I wasn't even sure that I was going to do it. But... I had to. And I had to do it alone. Do you know how good that feels now?" A chuckle of relief tumbled from your lips as you couldn't hold back your smile. "They have every piece of evidence they need to... fine him, take away his company, put him behind bars or God knows what."

"Come here," he whispered as he took a step forward and opened his arms. You didn't move though. You continued to stand still, your arms crossed in front of your chest as you glanced up at him.

"I don't want a hug." Your comment told him that you would still be mad at him for not understanding your reasoning. But that didn't stop him. With another step, he had invaded your room, engulfing you in the warmth of his arms you had come to find comfort in during so many nights. Once he noticed you weren't moving, he leaned down just a slight bit closer to your ear.

"I'm proud of you," he spoke quietly, making sure only you would be able to hear those words he had chosen for just you. "But I was worried."

With a sigh, you gave in, wrapping your arms around his slim, yet muscle-packed, torso, getting a relieved sigh from him in return.

Before any of you were able to truly enjoy the short moment of intimacy, Mingyu's loud voice rang through your ears.

"Group hug!" With heavy steps, he rushed over to you two, throwing his big arms over your shoulders, underestimating his weight, making you grunt out loud. You could feel Wonwoo's annoyance radiating off him, to which you couldn't help but chuckle, which was quickly joined by Jihoon doing the exact same.

"You don't even know if we won and yet you're celebrating." He approached you with his hands hiding in his pockets, watching you with bright eyes and a wide grin.

"Who cares if we won," Mingyu commented, almost getting interrupted by his best friend, who opened his mouth but was stopped by the slightly bigger man. "Y/N got to say what she needed to say. Park will get what he deserves. Whether that involves our case or not, I really don't care at this point, to be honest."

With a deep sigh, the older man nodded. "That's very cute and I understand that, and Y/N, you know that I support you, but I still have a job here to finish and if we don't win this case... you can fire me."

"We won't fire you," Wonwoo, now behind you, with his palm once again placed comfortably on your lower back.

"No, no," Jihoon glanced at him. "I am begging you to fire me if we don't win this, do you understand me?" Getting a roll of his eyes from the older CEO, while Mingyu just chuckled, patting the smaller man's shoulder assuringly.

Your exchange of words was interrupted by one of the security men that had been standing inside throughout the entire sitting, who was suddenly standing in the hallway.

"Judge Kang is asking you to come back inside, we'll continue." The four of you nodded in synch, each taking one last deep breath in. One last time. Hopefully.

But before any of you could even take one step forward, a shrill voice called out.

"Hold on! Just a minute!" Jeonghan rushed towards you from around the corner, your eyes quickly finding his. "Y/N, a word, please." Motioning at you to follow him.

Your eyebrows shot up at the sudden demand. In what world did he imagine you'd go out of your way to suddenly follow his lead.

"Whatever you have to say to her, you can say here as well." Wonwoo's deep voice vibrated through your entire body. You noticed the microscopic step he took closer as you felt his chest brush against your arm.

Jeonghan shook his head, clearly irritated by the men surrounding you. "Could I please talk to my cousin in private?" Looking straight at the man behind you, expecting another snark from him, when you spoke up.

"No." You crossed your arms in front of your chest in defence. Your body knew which stance to take in right away.

He had betrayed you. You hadn't heard from him in years before you met him in the courtroom again. And out of all the people there were in the world, he chose to support the man you had sworn off your life. The man with the name you had tried to scratch out of every piece of skin on your body that he had touched. A betrayer, a traitor, and a manipulator. That's who Jeonghan was. Quite fitting to Chanyeol. Two fucked-up halves that would make a deadly whole.

"I'm sorry."

...

...

With quiet stares, each one of you looked straight ahead. No one was fully sure of what words had just hit their ear. The movement of his mouth could've possibly been an illusion. That seemed more likely than an actual apology coming from his lips.

"What?" You were the one to break the silence. Instinctively, Wonwoo's hand travelled to the left, his fingers gently curling around your waist.

The step Jeonghan took forward was welcomed as none of you decided to move backwards, letting him know he could continue.

He sighed. "I... I didn't know... about... you know... that." With a stressed breath in, he continued. "When I took on this case, he told me the exact same thing he had told you and the judge. With our history, it didn't take much convincing for me. I knew you and him were... yeah- anyways- but... I swear, I had no idea."

Still unphased by his apology, he resumed his ramble.

"I know you don't think much of me, but not even I would go this low to support someone like that.. and I know that... that- this apology or whatever probably won't mean anything to you-"

"Good that you know that," Wonwoo commented, but Jeonghan chose to ignore him.

"But I mean it. He just confessed everything to me. This is the first time I'm hearing about all of this... and... I can't- and I won't support that. I don't need you to forgive me, I know that won't happen instantly. But I swear to God, Y/N, you can think whatever you want of me, but please don't ever think I'd ever support a guy like that." He took another step forward. "When the accident happened, I heard that you got hit by a drunk driver. Not that... he was the drunk driver."

Still, no words from you, nor Mingyu or Jihoon.

"Anyway," Jeonghan sighed and got ready to turn around, the open doors still waiting for all of you. "I'm sorry." With those last words, he disappeared again, leaving your party in the cold hallway. In silence.

"Oh, wow..."

You couldn't hold back your scoff as you took a step forward, letting Wonwoo's hand drop to his side.

"He didn't mean any of that." You rolled your eyes.

"Huh?" Mingyu's eyebrows shot up as he glanced at you, his puppy eyes reflecting the light perfectly.

"You can't believe anything coming from that guy's mouth." You explained, still not entertaining the possibility of there being any good intentions behind your cousin's actions.

The younger CEO was still confused. "Then why did he say he was sorry?"

"To manipulate us maybe? Make us feel guilty? Give in?" Jihoon thought out loud, joining you and turning around to face the other two men. "Y/N, I wouldn't believe anything he said. She would know." Everyone nodded in synch.

Wonwoo nudged his head towards the door, where the security man was still waiting for you. "Let's get this over with."

-

Each person involved was back in the room. Exodus Entertainment was on the right table, while you and the guys were sitting on the left one. The jury of the very far right side, sitting along the wall was already gazing at you - excitement and interest radiating off them. Judge Kang was back in her seat, her glasses low on the bridge of her nose as she quietly went through the papers in front of her again, which seemed to have gotten more over the break.

If you thought your heart had been pumping hard earlier, while you were seated on the witness stand, it was safe to say, it was about to explode once you had entered the room again. Right where you had left your fear behind.

"Alright," Miss Kang started, taking off her glasses with a deep breath as she let her fingers rake through her hair. "Before we start, does the plaintiff or the defendant have anything to say? You may speak now."

You exchanged glances with Jihoon, who shook his head, telling you to keep low, but your attention was quickly taken away once Jeonghan left his chair to stand up, buttoning his suit jacket and raising his hand.

"Your Honour."

Miss Kang sighed with a forced smile. "Yes, Mister Yoon?"

"May I come forward?"

"Yes, you may."

Each pair of eyes in the room followed him as you abandoned the confused faces of Sehun and Chanyeol, making his way to the middle of the room and the podium. Either time moved painfully slowly, or he moved in slow motion, but either way, the pace was too slow, and you could feel the scream of frustration boiling up in your throat.

Jeonghan cleared his throat and straightened his back. Here we go.

"Your Honour. After consoling my client, we have come to an agreement that I would like to exclaim now."

"Please do," the judge commented on his statement.

"My client, Exodus Entertainment, would like to withdraw their lawsuit against Oksan & Co."

The room fell quiet. This lasted for a second before the next round of tumult rushed through it.

"Excuse me, Mister Yoon?" Miss Kang raised her voice in order to speak over the hushed sounds coming from the jury on the right side. Your eyes were frantically moving from side to side, trying to catch any reaction so you'd know which one to share.

"With immediate effect, Exodus Entertainment takes back each claim made against the defendant Oksan & Co."

Your head immediately shot to Jihoon who kept his gaze straight on Jeonghan, his mouth slightly agape as he was still trying to grasp the situation.

"What's going on here?" You could hear Mingyu whisper from your left, only to be interrupted by the loud voice of Chanyeol slashing through the uproar.

"Your honour-"

Jeonghan cut him off. "My client, Park Chanyeol, also pledges guilty to the charges made against him-"

The sudden knock of wood-on-wood, thanks to the Judge's hammer, let the room calm down again. Chanyeol chose to keep standing up while Sehun leaned back in his chair, a faint smirk making its way onto his face. The jury immediately quieted down along with your group, who still had to let more words drop than Mingyu just had. Jeonghan stood still on the podest.

"Mister Yoon," with the hammer still in her hand, Miss Kang started talking. "Are you aware of what you are doing right now? This will have an immediate effect."

"Yes, your Honour. I am very sorry for the waste of time and patience."

"Your Honour!" Chanyeol raised his hand hastily. "May I speak to my lawyer for a second?"

"Oh," your cousin lowered his head slightly, his voice loud and clear echoing through the speakers. "With immediate effect, I am also withdrawing from my role as Mister Park's lawyer. Thank you." Without another word, Jeonghan took a step back and turned around. After a quick glance in your direction and a tight smile, he passed your tables, only to take a seat on one of the benches behind you, usually preserved for public interests.

Judge Kang didn't even try to hide the amusement making her lips curl into a grin.

"Wow," she chuckled lowly, "Well," she cleared her throat, intertwining her fingers on top of the wooden surface. "Mister Park, you don't seem to have a lawyer to talk to anymore. Anything else you'd like to say?"

You zoned out whatever sorry excuse of an answer he gave her as you turned around, finding Jeonghan's eyes already boring a hole into your head.

"What are you doing?" You whispered, hoping he'd be able to read your lips. You only got a small smile and a nod in return.

"Mister Park-"

"This is a shitshow! What kind of fucking bullshit is this here?!"

"Mister Park, let m-"

"How the fuck is he even allowed to do that?!"

"Mister-"

"I swear to God, I will fucking sue every-"

"Security!" 

Miss Kang's final string of patience officially broke as she called out for one of the men on the side to step in. They acted quickly as two rushed up to each side of Chanyeol's big form which had made its way to the middle of the courtroom, getting dangerously close to the judge.

"You can't do-"

"I can, and I did," she simply told him, making him shut his mouth immediately before she quickly continued, putting her glasses back on as she read out loud. "Mister Park, I will see you again in five days as you will be facing twelve charges of sexual harassment, four charges of sexual assault, forgery of state-protected documents, as well as now contempt of court." She sent a smile his way. "We will speak again. Get him out of my courtroom." Before he was pushed out of the room through a door on the left wall.

Only then were you able to realise what had just happened. You could feel everyone take in a deep breath as soon as he had left the courtroom.

"What... what just happened?" Jihoon hushed underneath his breath, his hands placed on the top of his table as he glanced around the room.

"Well," the judge smiled into the crowd. "Each day, you experience something new." She paused for a second before continuing. "May the defendant please rise."

Still slightly out of it, you felt Wonwoo's tug by your elbow, pushing you to stand up. You joined the other three, staring straight ahead as Miss Kang spoke to you.

"With immediate effect, you are acquitted as the lawsuit of theft and forgery filed by Exodus Entertainment has been dropped." She glanced up from her notes to smile at you. "You are excused. Congratulations."

What was she congratulating for? You didn't win...

You didn't lose, but yet you didn't win... at least it didn't feel like you did. This was the end. The end of it all. Why didn't it feel like it?

You must've overheard Jihoon thanking the judge as you were suddenly escorted out of the room, your bag not even on your shoulder, but in Wonwoo's grip as you left the room altogether. Each bench you passed, and even walking through the doors, back into the hallway could almost be described as a fever dream. The sudden turn of tables and twist of fate felt too good to be true and too much for your own body to handle. It didn't feel right.

"What the fuck was that?!" Wonwoo immediately exclaimed the second you had left the room. "What just happened?!"

Jihoon raised his hands in defence, just as speechless as everyone else. "I- I wish I could tell you."

"What was that move from Yoon?" Mingyu interjected, only getting shrugs in return. "So did he mean what he said?" Another round of shrugs.

A nudge on your arm brought you back. "Hey, you okay?" It was Jihoon. You nodded.

"What the hell happened?" You could only repeat what everyone else was also thinking. "Wh-" You stopped yourself as you were still pretty much unable to form full sentences.

Each one of you had their eyes on different corners of the hallway. Mingyu was focused on the wall, his hand continuously running through his hair. Wonwoo had his arms crossed in front of his chest as he walked up and down a short distance along the side. And Jihoon had chosen to sit down, his head in his hand as he took deep and clear breaths in. You were leaning against the wall, eyes switching between each person while you still tried to find the grasp on reality again.

"From my understanding now," the lawyer started. "Jeonghan turned his back on them... I guess... he maybe wasn't lying in the first place?"

"That's impossible," you scoffed.

"Why?" Jihoon wondered.

You shrugged. "Because that's not who he is."

"Is that what you think of me," your cousin's familiar voice made you turn to the side, taking a step back instantly to create a bigger distance between you two. He shook his head with a chuckle. "I know we've never been on good terms, but God... I wouldn't wish stuff like that upon my worst enemy. Why would I celebrate it happening to my cousin?"

"I'm not saying you celebrated it," you stated.

"Alright," he took a step to the side. "And I'm not going to support a fucking asshole as stupid as him." He found your eyes. "I meant what I said. I'm sorry." Maybe one day you'll be able to believe that he's not the total asshole you had always thought he was. Maybe. Just maybe.

He turned around, bowing his head to each one of you before making his way down the hall, leaving the hell of a building in the past.

"Jeonghan!" You stopped him by the call his name, making him turn around. You pushed yourself forward, stopping right next to Wonwoo.

"Thank you." It may not have been much, but at that point in time, it was all you could've given him.

A smile and a nod later your cousin vanished out the doors, the group of journalists you had already forgotten about immediately swarmed him, leaving almost no room to breathe.

It wasn't a lot, but it was a start. A slow one, but a start. With the memory of the past still in the back of your hand, you were able to thank him for what he had done, but that was about it for now. Yes, there was no deeper reason as to why he had done what he did, at least that from where you stood, but the past would still haunt you for quite a while. A past you no longer had to share with the devil himself though. He was brought to justice. You did it. Not you alone, you were very well aware of that. You saw what a group of united people could do. You watched justice get served. The right decisions were made.

"Well then," Wonwoo sighed out loud. "What does that mean for us now?" The question was clearly directed at Jihoon who had made his way to stop in front of you.

He shrugged. "There's still definitely a lot of paperwork due. All the claims were dropped, but I'm gonna make sure there's no involvement of any of you in his future charges, especially with Y/N." You thanked him with a nod. "But for now," he took a deep breath as his lips curled. "I'd say we did it."

"Why doesn't it feel as satisfying as it should be?" Mingyu suddenly wondered as he showed up on your left.

"Once you see him on TV being escorted behind bars, you'll feel it," the lawyer assured him, getting a chuckle from each of you in return.

"Alright," the older CEO clapped his hands after handing you back your over-the-shoulder bag. His eyes travelled to Mingyu, glancing at him over your head.

"Drinks?" The younger one threw into the room, getting a groan of satisfaction from Jihoon in return.

"Oh, fuck yeah!" Shocking you with his choice of words.

You chuckled at the reaction that followed from the others, watching the pep in his step with amusement.

A hand on your shoulder made you look up to your right. The usual so cold eyes, suddenly turned warm, were already looking at you.

"Drinks?" His voice in his usual depth, sent a wave of warmth into your cheeks.

You bit down on your lip, trying to hide the smile on your face. A faint thought erupted from the depths of your memory. Something you had almost dared to forget. 

"There's one more thing I'd like to do."

Thank you for reading my loves🫶🏼

Taglist: @nctxtrash @leicy0756 @hoe4wonwoo @jeonwonhi @nothingbutadeadesceane @smileywoo @angelarin @onewoowonderboy @goodforgyu @kavvs @sugarmilkchan @sweetheart-gs @wonforgyu @lilactangerine @meltinghershey @wonw00t @soonchanshua @jayswifeuwu @allorysayshi @shaurenlaw @drama-1998-girl @yoonren07 @malakasae @sseuyeon @venusprada @jeminiepabo @billboard-singer @safsaf1980 @monmarguerite @ji-jii-visha @renjunphile @haogyuslut @destinyg237 @taestrwbrry @renkkuri @travelleratheart101 @love-svt @sunshinein17 @morklee02 @wonuziex @pwwarkjisung @hokuuu @clvudisan @awyunh @restlesswritings @woohaosworld @caratlove10 @woo8hao @misssugarlips @heednpy @yogurttea @sigillaria-svt @seungcheolsblog @s-xoups @orujinkoo

[plusultraetc]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank you so much @starlightbelle for tagging me!! If there are any One Piece fans following this blog, I highly recommend Belle's fics!

-- How many works do you have on AO3?

Officially I have 18, but it's 19 if you include the Star Wars au (my beloved). I haven't taken it out of the anonymous collection yet because I promised myself I would only do so when I posted the second chapter, but I still count it in my head!

-- What's your total AO3 word count?

95,613 :') I know that's nothing compared to some writers, but I am unreasonably pleased with it. I'm wondering if I should do something fun when I break 100k, which should hopefully be soon with chapter 2 of 'now i'm glad i get forever' 🤞

-- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

there's no good tricks but old ones

i'll take what i can get, i'll take what i am given

you've got no fear of the underdog

write me a list of how it is

every battle, every day

-- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!! I'm a smidge behind on literally everything this month, but I eventually respond to them all <3 I really do appreciate every single comment, they literally make my entire week and sometimes it takes me so long to reply because I am editing my response four hundred times to take out all of the !!!s.

(I also love getting to talk to others in the fandom, even if it's just for a single exchange--MHA is actually the Most Involved I've ever been in a fandom, and I've met so many really cool people by commenting and replying to comments on fics!! Thank you ao3 comments section, I love you ao3 comments section.)

-- What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is tough bc I don't write a lot of angsty endings, and most of my fics are canon compliant anyway so the angst is relative? With this in mind, it's probably 'there's no good tricks but old ones'--it's one of my only fics where there isn't some kind of emotional breakthrough or connection reached (or even the start of one) and it's pre-Paranormal Liberation War arc so we all know Hawks is headed for A Really Bad Time 😬

-- What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

All of them,, but I did write about Shinsou finding out he'd been accepted into the hero course in 'every battle, every day' which might take the cake (Brian from TAZ voice I'm so proud of them etc)

-- Do you write crossovers?

Do crossovers have to include characters from another media? Bc I've written aus set in other universes, but none of the characters from them appear 🤔

-- Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully no! I did once receive a comment that was just like. A Statement with no tonal indicators, In All Caps, but I'm 99% sure it was meant to be taken positively. okay 98% sure.

-- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope! (I also don't read E-rated fics even though I get so many interesting looking recommendations with that rating 😭 If you've ever recommended me an E-rated fic and I just never brought it up again I'M SORRY)

-- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of?

-- Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also no!

-- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I think it would be fun :D

-- What's your all-time favorite ship?

It feels like cheating to say erasermic on the MHA blog, but like. I'm going to say erasermic on the MHA blog. I don't think I'd ever written anything for a ship in my life before them. To be loved is to be changed but to have a ship is also to be changed.

-- What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Never say never but rip time travel fic lol.

-- What are your writing strengths?

IF I SAY SOMETHING YOU DISAGREE WITH LOOK AWAY. But. I think I write good dialogue, especially banter, and that I am occasionally funny. I also think I'm pretty good at describing places, but only if I have a clear mental image of them, so I feel like you can always tell when I'm not sure what a room looks like (which is most of the time).

-- What are your writing weaknesses?

Second-guessing and self-doubting myself into genuine writing paralysis. Also internal monologue/narration, like a character thinking about and articulating their feelings :')

-- What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm a little confused about this question?? But I also only speak one language fluently so I can't do this anyway 😭

-- What was the first fandom you wrote for?

When my sister and I were kids we used to pick our favorite characters from a bunch of different movies/books/shows and tell stories about them all going on some kind of gigantic crossover adventure, so it was probably something along the lines of 'Scooby-Doo, Batman, and Jedidiah from Night at the Museum vs Firelord Ozai'

-- What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I have a few Demon Slayer WIPs I'd love to figure out one day!

-- What's your favorite fic you've written?

This question is so hard bc like. Does it mean my favorite fic while I was working on it, or my favorite result? The fic that was easiest to write, or most difficult but most worth it?? The fic I've reread the most, or the fic I'm afraid to reread in case it doesn't live up to the memory I have of it??? Can I do a top 3????

This was so much fun!! (even though it did give me several small crises staring at my stats page--run 'i'll take what i can get, i'll take what i am given,' 'there's no good tricks but old ones' is right behind you!!) No-pressure tagging @machiroads @blinkeasy @kyurilin @karliahs @poppy5991 @ifyougoillfollow and anyone else who sees this & wants to participate!! I was scrolling through my following tab but omg it's a long list so I def missed some writers 😭

[fkmarrycill]

Tumblr ate my original post, which only exists as a reblog that I can't edit. 😫😭😭😭 So, welcome to take two 🎬🎬…

Here are my stories for Cillian and some of his characters, also tagged #fkmarrycilllibrary. The most recent stories are listed first for each category.

These are mostly, but not all, smutty reads, noted by this handy symbol: 🔞.

I typically write one shots and drabbles, rather than chapter stories. Character stories are pretty true to canon, unless otherwise specified. Unless otherwise specified, RPF stories are AU in the same way--Cillian is single, with no kids.

I tend to not take requests, only because I am not the fastest of writers, and I don't want to leave anyone hanging. 🙃 But do send an idea if you have one--I've sometimes dropped everything to pursue a juicy idea. I'm chaotic like that. 😉

For more of my work, check out @brownskinsugarplum76 for Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) stories, and @iggy-licious for Iggy Pop stories. We love a niche music fandom. 🥰

Last, please check for my perpetual reading list by searching #cillianwriterfam .

Thanks for stopping by and reading! Please feel free to comment or reblog! ❤️

Cillian RPF

🔞One Shot: Weekend in Bed

🔞One Shot: Pre-Gaming (Cillian x reader)

Cillian kiss drabble

Tommy Shelby, Peaky Blinders

🔞One Shot: A Small Favor (Tommy x reader)

🔞One Shot: At Ease (Tommy x OC)

One Shot: The Promise of Spring (Tommy x Lizzie)

🔞One Shot: Bad Things (Tommy x May Carleton)

Jackson Rippner, Red Eye

🔞Touch Me Tease Me Collection, Part 1 (Jackson x OC)

Dr. Jonathan Crane, Nolan Batman Trilogy

🔞WIP (Jonathan x reader)

[dinoplantsghost]

pairing: Tom Riddle x fem! original character

warning(s): body horror, death, tom is a warning in itself, 1940s: time accurate misogyny (???), (a singular) violent thought, i actually don't know how to tag this im sorry 😭😭

word count: ~3064

Disclaimer: I have a huge google doc that holds all of my drafts and I'm quite literally just copypasting everything, so if there are any typos/errors, no there isn't!! :)

Edit: I just realized Saoirse may or may not be a Celtic name and Google is not giving very concise answers so I've changed it to Irish instead 😭

Chapter List

Murder in the Building [1]

She didn’t mean to kill that girl. She had gotten in the way of Saoirse's experiment that was clearly expressed minutes before that it was dangerous and a risk. But people usually don’t listen; they never listen. When the body was found, it was unrecognizable. Hanging from the wrists, the body was displayed on the wall of the shared room of the two girls, its entrails scattered from the opening to the stomach, to the floor, all the way to the table that had bloody parchments and numerous tools. 

There’s never been an incident like this before at Mahoutokoro, the only wizarding school in east Asia, situated on the southernmost island of Iwo Jima, Japan. Students were always obedient, curious little things; always ready to learn and always ready to face the consequences when incorrect. Maybe she was too curious, but Saoirse didn’t mean for this mishap to come about. If it weren’t for the change of color in her robes or the stench from her room, she would have gotten away with harmless Dark practices. The scrolls and books and memoirs she read stated that the sacrifices wouldn’t feel pain, so why is everyone looking at her like she was a lunatic? 

There are more wizarding schools that allow the practices of Dark Magic than ones that ban it altogether—ones to the point where they will completely replace it with a class on how to defend oneself against it. 

‘But how can you defend yourself from something you know nothing about,’ Saoirse thought as she eyed the bookcase behind the High Priestess’ headpiece. Dark Magic functions perfectly fine when used for good intentions—like blood magic, for example; blood magic has been around since the dawn of wizarding time, protecting precious manors and homes from outsiders and potential dangers, with some seals still going strong after centuries of being active. 

“You are extremely lucky to only be transferring,” the High Priestess yelled in Japanese, her voice reverberating in the chamber lined with gold and jade. “If it weren’t for that Merrythought lady, you would be executed on the spot if it were left up to me.” 

Saoirse sighed. “I apologize, my High Priestess, but I am sure that lady Merrythought and the rest of the staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry will do their best to keep an eye on me.” 

Truly, if she could, Saoirse would kiss Merrythought. Mahoutokoro has always been too “uptight and pompous” for the girl with cerulean hair. The robes were absolutely horrid in her opinion. The pink and gold looked sickly on her. 

Saoirse had met Galatea Merrythought, professor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts class at Hogwarts, at a training camp to perfect her dueling skills. She had been the only adult figure in her life to support her decision to research Dark Magic, stating that there were plenty of jobs for the girl within the British Wizarding Community that are within that line of work. 

High paying jobs were difficult to obtain for the few girls attending Mahoutokoro. It wasn’t common to see any females working for the Japanese Ministry of Magic or anything of the like. True to the average east Asian lifestyle, the ladies were expected to care for the children while the men went to work for countless hours in a day. The girls that do get into Mahoutokoro, though, often attend in order to aid their future children in their studies once they are ready to go to school at the age of seven.

Saoirse was finally able to drag herself away from the High Priestess only after a ceramic piece resembling the Chinese Ming Dynasty shattered from the old lady’s magic, going haywire and out of control. As the young girl wandered down the halls aimlessly, waiting for her escort to show up, many of the other students peered around the corners to see the murderer in the building. To become a murderer at only fifteen years old..It was simply unheard of. Whispers of rumors enveloped the island in what seemed like a matter of minutes. 

‘There are more victims than just that poor girl.’

‘She must be a cannibal; some body parts were missing at the scene.’

‘It must have been some sick love story, she was jealous and finally went crazy.’

‘She was cursed the moment she was born, the gods must have punished her.’

‘She gets off to the blood and dismembered bodies.’

Of course, none of this was true, but there’s no use in trying to convince them otherwise, especially when she was leaving for Scotland anytime now. The onlookers disappeared down the hallways as a boat appeared in the distance, a figure holding a ball of light from what Saoirse assumed to be their wand. 

Soon, she hopped onto the boat, excited to continue her experiments elsewhere.

┌────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────┐

Saoirse craned her neck as she whipped it back and forth to see every intricate detail of the castle, its ancient history oozing from every crack and crevice. While she knew Mahoutokoro was also old, it was built with precious stones and metal in mind, taking away the aesthetic of a worn look. With Hogwarts, though, things were shaky and uneven. Despite the asymmetry, it was warm. 

Following the instructions of the staff that escorted her off the island, the girl was met with a stone figure poking her nose as she twirled her way to the Headmaster’s office in the middle of the night. 

‘Oh,’ she thought. ‘What did they say about the password?’

As if hearing her internal struggles the statue moved on its own, scaring the bespectacled girl into jabbing her Walnut wand towards its general direction, only for it to roll its firm eyes and walk off to the side, expecting her to walk into the office of Armando Dippet, the Headmaster of Saoirse’s new school. 

Coughing, Saoirse returned her wand back into its holster wrapped around her right forearm, and took her first step on the spiral staircase. As her eyes reached the new floor level, her breath was taken away by the amount of eyes staring into her soul from mere canvases. Looking around, she found a red clad man with gray hairs hunched over the desk in the middle of the round office, little trinkets catching the light from the room and refracting into her gaze. 

“Ah, yes, Saoirse! I hope your travels went well?”  

“Yes, everything went as planned, sir,” She said politely. 

She watched as the elderly man struggled to walk over to a shelf encasing many curious objects. A sword made of pure silver shimmering in the light, many golden objects beckoning her closer as she followed Dippet to the shelf. With a tap of his wand the glass covering disappeared, allowing him to grab the one object that was out of place—an old and wrinkly hat with dark patches here and there, fraying at the edges. Sagging in Dippet’s hands, Saoirse raised her eyebrows in amusement as she watched the hat become animated, with eyes and a mouth forming. 

“Why have you awoken me, you dusty old fart,” the hat yelled, glaring at the smiling old man. “I already sorted all of the students.” 

The lively piece of leather continued to mumble complaints and obscenities until it was placed down on a stool that appeared out of nowhere, the holes where its eyes should be now falling on the girl that stood awkwardly in near a corner of the room. On que, Saoirse walked over to the stool, and stopped in front of the hat. 

“New student, eh?” The hat whined. The cerulean haired girl crossed her arms in discomfort, sure that if the magical item was human, it would have a deranged look in its eyes. “Well hurry up, girl,” it yelled. “The Sorting Hat doesn’t have all day!” 

Once Saoirse sat on the stool, Dippet placed the Sorting Hat on her head. Expecting the sorting to be over as soon as it started, she blinked as she was met with a moment of silence. ‘Does the Headmaster know you brutally killed a girl?’ A voice boomed in her head, making her jump in the stool. 

‘It’s not like she felt any pain; I did the procedure perfectly fine,’ she retaliated. ‘Honestly, what kind of school just has tomes filled to the brim with the Dark Arts? If anything, it’s the school's fault, not mine.’ 

‘Usually students don’t take it this far, to the point that they practice what was once a theory just to make a statement. Are you usually like this; wanting to know everything and anything?’ 

‘Yes.’

Silence. 

Saoirse tapped a beat on her lap, waiting for the Sorting Hat to say something. Looking to the side, she fumbled a light smile as she caught the Headmaster staring at her, nodding to the old man and quickly turning her gaze away. 

The Hat caught her attention once more as it shifted slightly on her head. ‘You are a very inquisitive young lady. A bit nosey if you ask me.’ 

‘What is the point of this?’

‘To see which house you will be sorted into, of course. Merlin, did no one teach you about the sorting process here at Hogwarts?’

‘No, I did not have the time to learn, but I fully intend to know more after this.’ Saoirse rolled her tense shoulders in exhaustion. Again she was met with silence, until the Hat moved to open its mouth. 

“I know exactly which house you fit in. With a keen brain like yours, it should be…Ravenclaw!”

The sound of clapping hands brought Saoirse out of her trance. She watched as Dippet picked up the Sorting Hat once more, to place it back in its original resting spot. But before the Hat was completely off her head, its final message sent shivers down her spine. 

‘Do not get lost in the pursuit of knowledge. The consequences are deadly. Do not go looking where you are not wanted.’ 

Confusion was left in her mind as the Headmaster rambled on about how proud Ravenclaw will be when they find out they have a new eagle in their midst.

┌────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────┐

Soft footsteps clacked upon the stone floor as a boy made his way to the Headmaster's office at 2:00 in the morning. He had only recently finished his Astrology class, as a typical lesson finished at 1:00, so to stay up and dressed for an unknown reason due to Dippet’s wishes displeased him extremely. The Slytherin boy, Tom Riddle, halted in front of the statue protecting the office and sighed, his low voice echoing throughout the long halls as he muttered the password to Dippet’s domain. 

“Ah, Mr. Riddle! There you are,” Dippet exclaimed, making Tom wince in the very slightest. 

He never liked his name. It made him sound ordinary. He hated it immensely. Quickly recovering, he faked a smile. “What is it that you need of me, Sir?” 

Dippet clasped his hands as he stood up from his seat. “We have a new student joining us, Tom; all the way from Mahoutokoro—the only magical school in east Asia!” Dippet gestured to the figure to his right and Tom let his gaze follow. There, a girl standing at 5 feet and 6 inches, owlish jade eyes behind her round frames. Her face; soft and pouty, with her bobbed, cerulean hair encasing her head ever so lovely. Her eyes; despite their light color, held a darkness in them. Her posture; an indication of annoyance was her crossed arms. Her lips; they formed a slight frown as she looked anywhere but at the two men in front of her, clearly not used to the attention. The Headmaster laughed at her sheepishness. “Now, come on, girl—don’t be a stranger!” He lightly pushed the foreigner closer to the two, causing her to stumble slightly at the abrupt action. 

“I would have gotten a Ravenclaw prefect to do this, but I figured Miss Saoirse here needs a good influence from someone her own age,” Dippet continued. “And I thought you would be the perfect example for her! Introduce yourself, Saoirse!” 

Tom mentally sighed at this new information. He had to cancel tonight’s meeting for this? It irked him to know that a senile man like Dippet was the Headmaster; one weak Ventus and he would die on the spot. Still, he kept up his clean and perfect image, no matter how strong his urge was to bash his head into the desk and burn this girl to a crisp jump the elder like a madman.

A mezzo-soprano voice hit Tom’s ears. “Hello,” she said, her accent becoming clear as day. “I’m Saoirse, but you already knew that.” The boy watched as her hand disappeared behind her neck as she coughed awkwardly. 

He sighed for the umpteenth time today and decided to play along. “Good evening, my name is Tom Riddle,” his stomach squeezed dejectedly as he outwardly stated his normal given name. “Your name, Saoirse; that's an Irish name, is it not?” Tom asked as he feigned innocence in front of the Headmaster and the new student. 

“Yes, it is.” she said, finally meeting his eyes for the first time. A shocking pair of jade sent chills down his spine. 

“Looks like the two of you are getting along just fine,” Dippet cheered lightly. To Tom, the man’s adenoidal and wheezy tone sounded like nails on a chalkboard. A quick Crucio would not do him too much harm, right? “Well, Tom, would you be so kind as to give our new student a tour of Hogwarts?”

“It would be my pleasure, Headmaster.” 

TR~S

“Hogwarts was built around the 10th century by Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff, Godric Gryffindor, and Salazar Slytherin.” Tom said, his voice echoing through the extensive hall made of old stone. Saoirse gazed upon the beauty that is She; Hogwarts was something to truly marvel at. With Her high arches, wondrously intricate details, the girl could feel the presence of Hogwarts Herself—She is alive and She is a powerhouse to reckon with. 

Mahoutokoro, on the other hand, is not alive whatsoever, not in the way that Hogwarts is. With every step she took Saoirse would feel Her magic swell, as if She were breathing. Compared to this, the Asian school was nothing but a laughing stock in the girl’s opinion. The gold and jade that decorated Mahoutokoro always looked so…dull. But here She was, nothing but bare stone and some wood, and She was the most ethereal piece of architecture Saoirse had ever seen. Nothing could ever compare. A flash of green came into Saoirse’s view as the boy in front of her took a right turn, his robes swishing in the moonlight.

 “This is where you will be attending your Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons, taught by Professor Merrythought.” 

Tom turned to stare at the girl he was painfully giving a tour to. He scoffed inwardly as she continued to look hard at the door to Professor Merrythought’s classroom. Soon, his ears caught a question, one that he would have missed if Saoirse wasn’t talking so quietly. 

“Why does she teach defense?” 

“Pardon?” 

“Why would Merrythought teach defense against the Dark Arts?” She stressed, her voice having more clarity than it did before as it bounced off the nearby walls. “She was the one who encouraged me to learn about the Dark Arts, not how to defend myself from it; it makes no sense.” 

Saoirse watched as the tall boy stared at her. She could practically hear the cogs turning in his head as he carefully bit the inside of his cheek in thought, thinking of a response. Growing impatient, she sighed, “If you do not know the answer, it’s fine. I will just ask her whenever I can.” 

“Why would Merrythought ever encourage the practice of Dark Arts? Out of all of the staff here, she opposes the use of it the most.” 

“She says I excel at it.” 

“You've dabbled in Dark Magic before?” Tom asked, a slight interest manifesting itself as the topic of conversation became familiar to him. It was almost welcoming. 

“I have,” she said lightly, an airy tone present as she let her eyes wander around the striking features that Hogwarts held. “It’s why I’m here, after all.” 

A painting that stood out from the rest hung high above the wall down the hallway. It was bright, unlike most of the art that were almost all portraits of notable people within the English Wizarding Community. Saoirse was quick to leave Tom to his lonesome, irking him to no end as she strided down the hallway, entranced by the slight movements in the painting that she could see. As she got closer, Saoirse saw that the painting was moving more violently than she originally thought. It was a painting of a fire; it danced and twirled around in the engulfing darkness. 

Tom clenched his hands into fists as he followed the imprudent girl down the hall. “Do not wander off aimlessly,” he sighed. “You could get lost.” 

Not taking her eyes off of the painting, Saoirse replied, “Sure thing, Mr. Wiggle.” 

“My name is Tom Riddle,” He corrected. 

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?”

“No.”

“I don’t think you know what you are talking about, Mr. Tinkle.” 

“Will you stop being so childish, the tour is almost over and classes start in only a couple of hours; this should have not taken us this long if it weren’t for your foolish attempts to wander off.” With a quick Tempus Saoirse hummed as the numbers 4:58 appeared in front of her. “Breakfast starts at seven-thirty on the weekdays, and eight o’clock on the weekends. Your Head of House will hand you your schedule during that time; be quick to memorize it.” 

And with pivoting his feet, Tom walked down the left wing, not caring if the girl decided to follow him as she wasted his time doing absolutely nothing. 

As Saoirse turned to run for the boy, a figure caught her eyes. She turned her head, staring at the painting once more. Within the abyss of black on the canvas, the flickering fire lit up the atmosphere, causing the girl to see the countless mangled bodies hanging and thrown across the thin birch trees that hid in the background.

Credit(s): Dividing banner (^^^) by Chen Lu (1436-1449) - "Plum Blossoms in Moonlight" scroll painting; sourced through Pinterest

[seeingivy]

bsfs older brother sukuna asks!

HI SWEETIE BABY! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SWEET WORDS LITERALLYYYY WTF. literallly it makes my head ginormous anytime someone tells me they read either my aot/jjk without having watched the shows or the characters like LITERALLY im just a girl wtf this is literally insane

ok ngl I was really irritated last night when I got that comment bc I genuinely do spend a lot of time on chapters - especially with trying to make dialogue that hits and a story that's interesting? and out of everything it was like one sentence that got fixated on and they were like yeah that's toxic I hope he gets over that. and then like after twenty minutes they edited the comment like still love the story tho! ike I will kill you (gothic font)

but anyways I saw this last night before I went to sleep and I was like THANK YOU YOU ARE SINGING TO MY PRAYERS RN and it made me feel way better I was really annoyed and tldr I love you

@telepathicheartss my sweetie angel pie you could literally never annoy me. literally one of the reasons that I love to write this fic as often as I do and why i've like lengthened it out (mind you the first chapter was a oneshot) is because people interact and talk to me about it and that's everyting as a writer 1

mini sidebar but I read this whole post lately about the reader/writer relationship and how fics used to be generally viewed as a craft and art rather than something to be consumed like they are now and people would genuinely interact and discuss as opposed to just commenting and asking for a part two and silent liking. tldr it makes writers entire world when you interact and gush and it makes me SOOOO happy. so many of my favorite writers have left bc of how razor silent it can be on tumblr sometimes, so just know you should never ever feel bad for it!

SOOOO GLAD U FEEL SEEN BY THE Y/N CHARACTER. randomly this is my most criticized story? and one time someone told me I gave y/n too much personality LMFAO so this also makes my day that its actually like someone seeing it as a full character that they find relatable instead of like a lifeless blob

anyways thank you again sweetie pie I love you sm 😭💌

SO REAL! (also sorry)

we are all y/n, we chant in unison

@wishmemel I get random spurts of such high quality hyperfixation and writing that I like that I start acting like im a fanfiction factory (and it's SO FUN I PROMISE this is literally a hobby to me and it never feels like work)

(i love you too sweetie pie i hope you're doing well <3)

@pickuptruck01 literally I am ur #1 fan ur always so sweet and I love you im SOOOO glad you're still here writing this goofy story

THIS IS SOOOOO FUCKING FUNNY I CACKLED OPENING THIS

(it's a link to that tik tok audio that's like GIRLLL FUCKKK THEM KIDS AND FUCK YOU TOO)