#I am cursed by loving art and being incapable of creating any
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Tag yourself "Ancient Rome main characters but it's just very violent personal attacks" - Augustus's principate edition:
Gaius Julius Caesar "Augustus"
if you're honestly thinking to tag yourself as him what the fuck is your problem, your self-esteem is sky rocketing, you shouldn't be on Tumblr, you should be on Tik Tok
you take the lead in group projects and do 90% of the work because you think you're the only one who can it right
everybody better treat you like royalty otherwise bold of them to presume you'd let bitches talk mad shit about you
frail health though, stay safe baby
favourite quote "I was born for politics. I have great hair, and I love lying"
calm down I'm sure you'll get that college admission letter, no need to be dramatic and start threatening you'll ki** yourself if you don't get in
Marcus Antonius
burnout gifted kid
like honestly you had your whole life planned and then oopsie everything comes crashing down
aw, you want daddy's approval? Don't we all?
you're like an only child, or the eldest child. Then some bitches came along and you were forced to share.
If that's not a mummy sorry mummy sorry mummy sorry you ain't hitting that (or daddy ;))
you love giving pep talk, reminds you of the time people used to look up to you
Gaius Cilnius Maecenas
light academia, dark academia, chaotic academia, the point is: academia
your friends are the most interesting thing about you
you surrounded yourself with artists and creative types, such a shame you aren't one of them
you're that person who'd shout "THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND" when your friend does something incredibile, but nobody will ever do that for you
so how's life standing on the sidelines?
at least you're not bitter about it (or you're very good at hiding it, let's be honest)
supportive bestie
wasn't kidding about great taste in friends, your friendships are very elite and everybody wished they were in your inner circle, make 'em wish, darlin
Publius Vergilius Maro (Vergil)
COUNTRY ROOOOOOOOADS, TAKE ME HOOOOOOOOOME
cottagecore
as a society WE NEED to retreat to the country and go back to peak of human civilization: farming
you're cooler in theory than in practice
massive introvert
you just want a cottage and some books and maybe some plants and a pet and free time, is that too much to ask?
Yes, because that shit's a fever dream, you wouldn't last a day in a real farm, get your head out of your ass
Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)
you think you're funny. You're the only one to think that.
self deprecative humour for the win
your superpower is infodumping. Sure, everybody does it once in a while- but they way you do it. Wow.
you're a tiny gay, a petite homosexual, if you will
wittiness is one of the many qualities you believe to possess
how are you handling those five mental breakdowns a day?
Guess what, clean air, drinking water and reading outside won't cure your identity crisis
Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)
you listen to doja cat unironically. And no, I don't mean "I like her beat", I mean you listen to the lyrics of doja cat unironically.
you're a slut, but, if you're reading this, it mean you're on Tumblr, so probably you're more of a theoritical slut
gossip girl xoxo
when people come to ask you for dating advice you feel like an old french prostitute recalling the glorious days of your youth
you think you're incredibly more interesting than you actually are
like, face it, if you were that great people wouldn't leave you on read
God it's like two weeks in the country at you grandparents's house there's no need to start complaining to all your friends you're in "exile", the wi-fi isn't even that bad, you're just a drama queen
you once dreamed of living in London or New York or Paris, don't lie to me
I hope people are actually know what I'm referencing in this or some things might sound very weird or mean out of nowhere (they're instead mean for a reason)
#I don't think i know how this is supposed to work#I am writing personal attacks but they're all attacking me#maecenas may be a bit sad but that's because I've always felt like him#you surround yourself with beautiful creative people and then you realize that's the closest you'll ever be to art#I am cursed by loving art and being incapable of creating any#ovid#vergil#horace#augustus#mark anthony#rome#latin literature#literature#latin poetry#poetry#tag yourself#ancient rome#light academia#classics#dark academia#chaotic academia#btw I'm maecenas and mark anthony pretty obvious I know#Also I'm in love with Vergil did it show?
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Pete’s assistant - Pete Davidson
Words: 2160
Warning: 2 curse words
Requested: yes
You had been Pete’s assistant for many years now. You had begun as an intern at NBC and that’s how you met Pete. The two of you immediately clicked, there was like a strange bond between you like you always knew each other or were meant to meet, to work together. So at the end of your internship, Pete asked you if you wanted to be his assistant, to help him with pretty much everything. He wasn’t famous enough to really have a publicist, so you also fill up this role. It was funny at first. Pete was nice to you, never asking for anything impossible to get. Contrary to many other celebs with their assistant, he treated you like his equal. Planning interviews was something you enjoyed, he was mostly in some presented by his friends, so it was pretty chill, and you learnt so much. You let Pete took charge of his social media presence, he was more than okay at it, was natural and able to create a connection with his fans.
However, at some point everything changed. Pete got way bigger, he was famous like really famous, not just known by SNL and stand-ups afficionados. Things got out of hand quickly. You still liked to work for Pete, he was still adorable to you but handling negative comments, the infamous song about him, people reactions and the repercussions on his mental health was a nightmare. You had too much to think about: to make sure he was feeling okay or at least not too bad, to make sure he would sleep, eat, not take too much drugs, go to work, go outside, try to stop the continuous harassment… Pete hired a publicist to take some weight out of your shoulders and have someone who would focus only on his impacted public image. Even though, Pete was probably at rock bottom, it was nice to see that he would still be kind to you, trying to smile a bit when you were ding your best to cheer him up.
And this is how the problems began for you. You knew the rule number one of any assistant: never fall for your boss. But you couldn’t help it. You had always loved his personality however you never considered having feelings for him. However, seeing him hurt, fragile but still caring about his close circle, still trying his best everyday for people he loved, still being nice when he could easily be an ass and take the heartbreak as an excuse, was enough to make you acknowledged that maybe you wanted to be more than a friend to him.
You decided to keep your emotions for yourself. You didn’t want to make a fool of yourself or lose your job and friend for feelings that would never be reciprocated. To forget about them, you went on dates with several people, it was a failure. Every time you could stop yourself from comparing your date with Pete. Even if some people were funny enough, smart enough, kind enough, they were simply not enough. A date with them was pleasant but you couldn’t picture more, and it would be cruel to force a relationship with someone you didn’t have feelings for just to hide your current crush. So after some dates you gave up on the idea of finding someone for the moment and preferred to take time for yourself. As the year went on, you were the witness of Pete’s different and non-working relationships. You were happy for him, truly. He was able to move on which was great and he felt more like himself. But it still hurt to see him get far too involved in relations that were doomed to fail. He was too intense and passionate for his own good. You advised him to follow your example and take time for himself, to love himself and understand what he wanted, needed from a partner. Surprisingly, he did it and it did good on him.
A few months later, you were at a small gathering to celebrate Pete’s Netflix comedy special. The reviews were good, and the audience was following, it was great to watch Pete’s career on track to success, he would finally be recognized for his art. You were talking to Dave about the process of writing when you are down and how cathartic humor is. You glanced distractedly several times in Pete’s direction confident that you were discreet. As your drink was empty, you scanned the room to find the nearest bottle of a beverage you like. Your eyes met Colson’s ones and he grinned mischievously at you. You rose an eyebrow wondering why he looked like a devious elf and quickly manage to appease your thoughts, rationalizing that it was only Colson being his drunk and high self.
As you made your way to the counter full of bottles to pour you a glass, you felt two hands clapped your shoulders. You turned promptly and faced Colson who was smirking even wider.
“What do you want?” You asked not surprised by his presence but cautious about what he was about to say.
“Well just to chat with a lovely assistant, it has been a while since we haven’t talk.” He replied sweetly, an innocent smile replacing his smirk and you understood fully well why so many girls were crazy about him.
“Cut the crap” You deadpanned, not in the mood for his banter.
“I still wonder why I try to sugarcoat things with you” he mumbled certainly more for himself. After some long seconds of silence, he let out in a charming voice: “Don’t you think that would be the perfect night?”
You weren’t sure of what he was implying. He liked flirting but you seriously doubt that he was since he would never cross that border, maybe he was just bored or wanted to tease you. You didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer that would fuel his joust.
“You don’t ask me the perfect night for what?” He added kind of amused by your lack of reaction. “Well I will tell you anyway because else it wouldn’t be funny. So my dear don’t you think it would be the perfect night to admit your badly hidden feelings for you know who.”
You gulped at those words. You attempt to come back with a witty, chill repartee that would show that you were diverted by this non-sense and not knowing about what he was talking about, but your mind was blank. You were sure that tonight before sleeping while your mind would replay this scene, you would think of many clever replies.
“Still no answer, I bet that this time it is not for the same reason, right” Colson joked, and you cursed yourself.
“I just don’t understand what you mean” you eventually managed to say, cringing at this lame attempt to act cool.
“Your blushing cheeks and stiff body are telling the opposite” Nice even your own body was now betraying you.
“I get that you are bored Colson and even if it would probably be the funniest thing of your night, I don’t plan on becoming the biggest idiot of the party for your entertainment. I know Pete doesn’t like me and it is okay, you can’t control someone’s feelings and…”
“I hope you realize that you already are the biggest idiot of the night” He cut you “and Pete is too. I can’t get my head around the fact that you are both blind, incapable of seeing the way the other looks at you. Shshshsh don’t reply, don’t want to waste my time on hearing you tell me that I am lying, imagining stuffs, and complaining about my behavior, I‘ve already had this long speech from Pete. You can do whatever you want, go tell him or don’t but just know that you don’t risk much. And don’t count on him to come, he is sure he has no chance. So please have the balls for the both you.” He was about to leave you there with many contradictory thoughts filling your head when he leaned to whisper: “But really please do tell him tonight, I bet some bucks with John that you would be the brave one, don’t prove me wrong.”
You nudged him and he burst out of laughter as you showered him with imaginative curses. You decided to sit few minutes just to take time to reflect. You needed to process what you just heard. If indeed had feelings for you, things would change drastically. You felt yourself slowly but surely drifting into panic. A part of your brain was screaming that it was lies maybe because it was easier to accept than the truth. You had dreamt of this but it was a dream and you weren’t sure that you were ready for that right now. Intrusive thoughts were running in your head defeating your ounce of rationality and calm. One of your hand was clenched on your drink firmly and you closed your eyes while inhaling and exhaling to relax yourself. From the outside you certainly looked crazy but you didn’t care, it didn’t even crossed your mind.
You were so focused on your breath that you didn’t notice someone siting next to you and neither feel this person hand on yours. When you opened your eyes, you detect that you were no longer alone and the person with you was none other than Pete. He softly smiled at you and you felt like dying inside, this smile was enough to make you forget any doubts, anything, to appease. You smiled back at him kindly. He seemed to be struggling to say something and you took the lead.
“I guess that Colson talks to you too, huh?” You questioned, your voice was a bit shaking and you had eaten half of your words however you knew that he had understood you.
“Kind of” he stated and your next words died in your throat, you were losing your confidence. Those tow simple words held a clear message: yes we talk but no I don’t like you. “Actually, John did most of the talking” he joked or at least try to. He was also way to stress to really be funny.
You wanted to say something, to admit what was consuming you inside nevertheless you were scared, you refuse to be too blunt on this. You had to be subtle, to find a way to make him realize but without saying it, so if the feelings were not reciprocal it would not be too awkward.
“Colson mentioned a bet on us” You hid your reddening face behind your drink and casually take a sip or at least as casually as you can considering your current position.
“I heard about it too” His fingers were drumming against his tights in nervousness. “I am kind of bother by it you see.” You nodded, you felt crushed inside, of course he would be bothered, who would not be bothered to be shipped with someone they don’t have feelings for. You did everything you could to remain still and not crack, not now, not in front of him, of his friends. “I don’t really any of them to get this money like I guess I want them to be right, but I don’t like them betting on us”. You blinked several times not sure if you were on the same page. “I am not very clear, I am? Well obviously, I am not, I have never been very clear in those situations. Maybe clearer than now, because now what I am saying is a mess, well normally it is confused but understandable. And I am rambling right now and I don’t even know why. Maybe because it is intimidating, like we know each other for so long and what I am saying is that it is different.”
He had lost you with his confused sentences, was he trying to reject you or the contrary. You wanted a certain answer, not an interpretation based on a wrong reading of the situation, actually you did not want this answer, you needed it. He was still digressing when you took the courage to interrupt him: “Pete please listen to me okay.” He shut up and looked at you in the eyes, sort of hanging of the words you would pronounce. “I like you Pete and not like I like Ricky or John, I mean not like a friend. Do you understand?”
There were few awfully long seconds of silence before you felt Pete’s forehead against yours and his hands on yours. “Fuck, you are a lot better at verbalizing this than I am” He smiled brightly, he was so beautiful when he was happy. “Can I kiss you?” He asked still quite unsure and you gently pressed your lips against his. It was a short and sweet kiss, the kind that promise wonderful tomorrows full of love, full of life.
#pete davidson#pete davidson x reader#pete davidson x you#snl fic#pete davidson fic#pete davidson oneshot#pete davidson imagine#pete davidson fanfic
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Okay so I'm making my way through your masterlist and I'm in love?? Like let's start off with Winter's Child- a masterpiece. You make Sansa a loving and relatable character and interweave the powers into cannon in a way that actually makes cannon make more sense (preconceived biases and such). Jon and Sansa's relationship is SO SWEET and they way they bonded was absolutely adorable (and the backstory with the houses and the powers they have make so much sense) 1/3
(2/3) Neon Rain literally the best Cyberpunk AU! I've ever read. Like what you did with the world building?? The stark class differences (haha see what I did there?), the choices in SOUND, and I could FEEL myself there! I love the family dynamics between the Starks and I'm loving the little details you're dropping with the Greyjoy's , Jon's parentage, and all of the medical procedures. Jon is dramatic af and I love it and Sansa is a bamf AS SHE SHOULD. Nothing but love for this
(3/3) A Past Worth Having has a special place in my heart. You build up this setting like a tapestry, just seeing more richness and depth the longer you look. I'm proud of Sansa for holding her composure, just FEELING in the angst that the older Starks feel at her return, and loving the relationships with Robin and the rest of the Starks + Jon Arryn. The detail that you're putting into the investigation/Oberyn is awe inspiring and I can't wait to see what you do next with the trial + Jonsa
Haha thank you so much!!! This is such a sweet ask to get! My response is under a cut, because this might get kind of long! (lots of my own meta below, bc i accidentally had a lot to say, haha)
With ‘Winter’s Child’ I’ve really enjoyed weaving in fantasy elements to the world because I like to look at stories and pick at loose threads until they unravel and asking ‘what if?’. I thought it would be a super interesting concept to take a character like Sansa, who in ASOIAF is exactly what she is supposed to be as a noblewoman of her class and conforms very well in that role, and put her in a position where she was essentially a societal outcast in a lot of ways! In WC, Sansa has a lot of similar coping mechanisms to ASOIAF Sansa, in that she sort of romanticizes society to avoid thinking about how absolutely awful it is. In ASOIAF, Sansa holds tight to the notion of knights and chivalry and courtly love to cope with the fact that she essentially has no control over her future and, as a woman, is basically property. In WC, I have her really struggling to make herself into that perfect lady and using that as a sort of shield to the fact that, without a gift, there isn’t anything she can do to improve her lot in life. Sansa has these ideas about becoming a perfect lady and hoping that being perfect in other areas will ‘make up’ for what society perceives as deficient about her, but is more jaded than ASOIAF Sansa due to her age and her earlier exposure to the ills of society. So you get a Sansa who gets along better with Arya and Jon as a result, in part because she’s had that exposure to what it’s like to be an outcast in society. I think that the best fantasy has a really strong emotional backdrop (a really great example is ‘Fruits Basket’ which starts by hooking you with this wacky, fun premise about people in a family turning into animals when hugged by a member of the opposite sex, and slowly builds into a point where you can see that the family ‘curse’ is a representation of generational and familial abuse- of bonds that should be broken, and of bonds that may kill us even as we cling to them- it’s extremely complex and rich and if you haven’t read or watched it, I can’t recommend it highly enough), and so while I really love writing about the fantasy aspects, and writing scenes where Sansa does really cool things with her ice powers, the core of the story is really about Sansa coming into her own, and learning that she was a person who was worth something even without any sort of gift. Sort of overcoming societal stigma and realizing your worth and forcing others to see it. It’s so much fun to write, but i’m stuck at the moment, because i need to reread the books, and my roommate is borrowing them right now haha!
God, APWH is like, indulging my inner world-building suspense-narrative loving writer persona. It’s literally my all time favorite trope- which is of someone growing up to find out that they’re a long-lost somebody or have family they never knew about- combined with a lot of research on trauma (which i’ve been doing for academic and other reasons for a while) and a lot of slowly growing psychological horror courtesy of Petyr Baelish (trust me, it’s going to get WAY more intense). There are so many pieces of media that I love, but I think that GRRM has so many characters and such a well fleshed out world that it’s very fun to dive into his worlds and create something there. Inherently, I love a slowly unraveling mystery and morally gray characters, and this is allowing me to indulge in both!!! World-building is my favorite, because i tend to be fairly detail oriented, and i’ve been laying bread crumbs in so many places throughout the story to hopefully build up to a decent conclusion! I know sort of how it ends, and I think people are going to absolutely lose their minds if I execute it correctly. We have a few chapters to go until we get to anything in the semblance of a trial- there’s some more emotional aspects that I think need to get addressed first, and so I’m so grateful that people are so supportive of being willing to wait for the Jonsa, because they really start spending a lot of time with each other during the trial and prior to the trial (i’m a big believer in bonding via long car rides and so there’s a lot of that!). I’m just so humbled and awed by the response to it- I never dreamed that people would enjoy the story this much- when I started it, I was writing a light-hearted family piece that wouldn’t be too long, and, uh, it kind of evolved from there. Clearly, I am not good at keeping things concise haha.
I left Neon Rain for last, because your comments on this one really made me smile! Of all of my stories, oddly enough, Neon Rain is actually the most deeply personal for me, and I’m just so flattered at your kind words! I spend a lot of my time thinking about the flaws inherent in our society, and without getting too detailed, Sansa’s experience with a family member struggling in the medical system is not unfamiliar to me. There’s a weight that comes with the realization that a system that is supposed to care for people is based on capitalistic ideals of profit maximization, and as someone who has experience working in the healthcare system- no matter how bad you think it is in the US, I can promise you it’s actually worse.
Neon Rain actually just started out as a series of mental images from listening to music that I had to get down on paper, and evolved from there. I actually really love the ‘soulmates’ and ‘class differences’ and ‘mastermind art thief’ tropes, but am incapable of writing fun stories without thinking about the reality of those tropes (see APWH for another extreme example of this haha), and so as I was writing and trying to capture this mental image, the rest of the world began unfolding around me. Jon is different because of a different upbringing here, and so is Sansa, and to see the formerly idealistic Sansa become so jaded by the time she meets her soulmate is just catnip for me. You have this interesting dynamic between them, because Jon wants nothing more than to have Sansa in his life, and give her everything she wants and needs, but where the old Sansa (who was arguably middle-class and somewhat naive, as financially secure teenagers understandably tend to be) would have swooned over that, the Sansa who meets Jon when the story begins is seeing the world and all the unfair and unequal systems in it. She can’t just live happily ever after with him right away- there’s a sense of guilt there, of sansa not feeling like she deserves nice things, and there’s also Sansa’s deep sense of compassion and kindness that won’t allow her to just live life as the well taken-care-of girlfriend of a wealthy man, because she isn’t able to just put on blinders and pretend that all the injustice in the world around her doesn’t exist, simply because it wouldn’t affect her that way anymore.
I think that the core to writing Sansa, for me, in any universe, is that she is a kind and compassionate person who is capable of feeling sympathy towards even the people who have done horrific things to her and her family- that emotional awareness and empathy is a harsh thing to have in a world like Neon Rain, and in our own world, honestly. I’m so glad that you appreciate Sansa’s BAMF-ness in the story- I think that her chapters demonstrate that she is capable of doing extraordinary things when she’s doing them for people she cares for, to be kind (The scene where Alayne helps Robin down from the eyrie is most indicative of this I think), and so in this world, I just love having Sansa be a complete badass out of necessity. Also, it’s fanfiction, and I really wanted to give Sansa a cool motorcyle, because no one else was gonna do it!!!
Also, my characters like to run away with me, and before I knew it, Rodrik Greyjoy had a huge adorable crush on Sansa in the story that I immensely enjoy writing. The Greyjoys are fun because they’re all absolutely insane, and i’m a total sucker for ‘gruff dangerous character is completely a sucker for the kind sunshine-y character’ trope.
God, this accidentally got really long??? I’m sorry- thank you so much for such a kind ask!!! I love hearing what people think of my stories, and this was so sweet :)
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Hey! Can I get a drabble please? I would love to see 20 with my otp Asuna and Kazuto! I loved the last one you wrote!!! Thank you! Xx
thank you so much for your patience whilst i wrote this! it was originally going to be short, but i may have gotten a little too invested with my own plot hehe!~
20. “You need to wake up because I can’t do thiswithout you.”
title: Amongst the Starswords: 7.2kfandom: Sword Art Online
send me a number and a pairing and i’ll write up a drabble!prompt list can be found here~ can also be read on ao3 here!
Within many role-playing video games, oneof the most difficult obstacles to overcome are enemy debuffs. Ranging fromparalysis, to a temporary inability to access one’s inventory, to increasedrisks of tumbling with everything in between, one had to be careful not to getcaught up in unfavorable enemy attack.
During their time in Sword Art Online,Asuna and Kirito had both encountered a wide range of these debuffs, and knewthe risks involved. Especially during Boss fights, such status effects could bedetrimental, resulting in the ending of one’s life if not dealt with properly.
A common mistake was incurring too much ofthe enemy’s ‘Hate’ debuff without preparing a counter. More often than not,Kirito was the one dealt with such an effect, and it was to ensure that other,more incapable members of the raid group did not become unnecessarily hurt. Italmost became a personal obligation for Kirito; his duty to finish off Bossesand create an incentive for the conquest for freedom to be continued everforward.
This being said, such acts ofself-perceived altruism did not always have the desired effect.
Constantly taking the Last Attack bonusloot and EXP caused others to become annoyed and put-out, and as this soon developedinto a recurrent theme in Boss fights, Asuna started to feel uneasy. After all,one slip up in this world could cost someone their entire future, and she couldnot image what would happen if Kirito lost control of the battle.
As the frontline group persevered furtherand deeper into the death game of Sword Art Online and climbed more and morefloors, stranger and more unusual enemy debuffs became apparent.
Common status effects such as stuns anddelays were inevitable and occurred at almost every level, but floor-specificdebuffs that had to be taken into consideration rose in quantity as the floornumber escalated. Curses, paralysis, blindness, panics, poisons, and evenstomachaches were some of the most prevalent amongst the negative statuseffects the group had faced until now, with some proving to be bigger issuesthan others.
Although stomachaches did not sound liketoo much trouble, in reality, it was almost a combination debuff, mergingdizziness with poor weapon handling and reduced speed. Additionally, anuncomfortable tightening of the abdomen could not be ignored, and Asunaremembered almost wishing she had incurred a curse debuff rather than astomachache during that particular floor’s Boss fight.
So, it was with great skepticism andcaution that the front-lining Knights of the Blood, Fuurinkazan, and one soloplayer had stepped into the newest Boss Room, and prepared for the worst.
The entire floor until this point had beenfilled with enemies of a dreamy quality. Translucent, wispy mobs floated andglided along the floor’s pink, cloud-like structures, cloaked in the infinityof night, but illuminated with the soft glow of the stars. Some representedcommon sleep-related animals, like sheep, whereas others looked like they onlyexisted in this dream space. Even the floor’s foliage resembled traditional,five-point stars, and lights glittered around the open expanse, close enough totouch.
If a player accidentally stepped off the iridescentpaths embedded into the cloudy, cotton candy ground, they would descend throughand land exactly where they had dropped from the sky. This paradoxicalphenomenon initially brought relief to the players, knowing that it was impossibleto fall off the floor, but soon became a hindrance as the paths narrowedtowards the Boss’ labyrinth dungeon.
What was even more annoying than this,however, was the fact that the enemies of this floor possessed a debuff thatbecame a major deterrent to all players involved: sleep induction. Many mobsreleased a sparkly, pink mist that, on contact, created dizziness and increasedchances of tumbling, but if an enemy were to touch the player, they wouldinstantly lose consciousness – a fearsome consequence in the midst of a battle.
The main town of the floor, Andromeda, consistedof oddly shaped and colored buildings, something that would only exist within adream, and they continuously created illusions that drove many players crazy. Abuilding that appeared almost too small to even enter would turn out to be aninn, with many stories of lodging, and a massive mansion would, in reality, beonly one small, humble room containing a single NPC in the corner reading abook.
Without an extensive understanding of thefloor’s workings and tricks, many frontliners initially felt like giving up.Yet no one did, and after discovering that long-distance Sword Skills workedbetter than close-range attacks, it was not long until the risk of inducedsleep could be easily avoided, and the group was able to make their way to thetop of the labyrinth, which resembled a crescent moon in structure.
At this point in the endeavor for freedom,there was no beta knowledge to fall back on, so the frontliners had to beprepared to experience anything. It could be that as soon as the blue flames surroundingthe Boss battle dome were lit, the entire raid would become comatose, or at thevery least, incur a dizziness debuff. Luckily, Asuna and Kirito were previouslyable to complete a Boss-related sidequest that provided them with anti-sleeppotions, called ‘Hypersomniac’s Release’. From that point on, anyone could buythe concoction from Andromeda’s various stores.
Before entering the Floor Boss Room, theraid team were given the opportunity to swap and share a myriad of potions toensure each party had enough Hypersomniac’s Release and general healing tonicsto guarantee survival. Half of the group were instructed to drink one of theanti-sleep concoctions before the doors opened at the top of a long flight ofstairs as a precaution.
As the group waited in front of those doors,Asuna stepped forward and touched the entrance with a slender finger. A bluelight warped around her hand, and suddenly, the massive structure opened infront of them.
The first notable thing about the Floor Boss’room was the layout. When the doors had reached their widest state, what lay infront of them was not the usual unfeeling, stone walls of ominous foreboding,but rather, an ethereal, open space that reached high into the stars.
This was the first time a Boss fight hadoccurred outside.
An iridescent, psychedelic patternglistened on the circular ground of the arena, surrounded by the same pinkclouds that lined the entire floor. Kirito wondered absently whether fallingthrough these clouds would mean tumbling to the bottom of the floor itself, orback into the Boss Room. The fluffy substance climbed upwards at set intervals,and embedded into the thin columns of haze were the familiar, blue torches of aBoss Room. If Asuna had a chance to marvel the scene in front of her, she wouldhave admitted how pretty the Boss Room was, but unfortunately, at moments likethis, time was of the essence.
Kirito, who was also peering around theopen space, turned back to Asuna and nodded. As subleader of the Knights of theBlood, she had full responsibility over her troops, and as the majority of theraid team consisted of KoB members, the outcome of the battle laid primarily inher hands.
Since the beginning of Sword Art Online,since acquainting Kirito, Asuna had grown in maturity, in strength, and in gamingprowess to become one of Sword Art Online’s most prominent beacons of hope.This hope was etched into her blade, the Lambent Light, which hung purposefullyat her waist. From her position at the top of the stairs, she could see down toevery last member of the raid group. This created a surge of courage withinher, and she cleared her throat before swiping a hand dramatically through theair in a call for awareness.
“Attention!” she demanded, and at once,forty-seven pairs of eyes settled on her, awaiting her next orders. “The doorsto the Boss Room have opened. This is an open-space arena, so be prepared foroutside influence.” There was a light murmuring of doubt and shock as the newssunk in, but Asuna was quick to diminish any and all cynicism, “Yet do not letthis wane your confidence! We are more than well prepared. Be sure to use Hypersomniac’sRelease sparingly. The same clouds that surround the entire floor surround the BossRoom’s ground, so make sure to exert extreme caution around the edges duringbattle.”
Asuna quickly peered back at the Boss Room,surveilling its structure and layout. She had to think of a battle strategy; aplan that would utilize every member’s abilities to their maximum capacity.Nodding to herself as various ideas raced through her mind, she turned back tothe group.
“We will position tanks at the back of the arena,towards the door. Damage Dealers, surround the middle of the floor, as a pinkmass is forming above the center, and I am certain that it will become the Boss.Forwards, remain at the front of the room. Depending on the attacks of the Boss,we may get the members of the Fuurinkazan and Kirito to stay whilst KoBForwards move to the Boss’ back.” She took a breath and yelled, “Understood?Let’s go!”
There was a general cry from the raid groupas fists were pumped to the air. The members began to assemble, preparingthemselves for the next battle to determine the progress of the death game ofSword Art Online.
Living up to her nickname ‘The Flash’,Asuna sped into the Boss Room with incredible speed; the rest of the raid groupnot far behind. Upon her entrance, Asuna drew her blade, prepared for anyattack that may come unexpectedly towards her. Turning back to the doors, shewas glad to see the group of players had heeded her instructions, and had begunto take formation.
Asuna glanced once again at the wispycolumns of cloud, and noticed that it would not be long until the Boss wouldtake form in front of them. The pink mass above them had become considerablybigger, and was gaining a visible configuration.
Flowing, rose-colored hair. Shimmering,golden eyes. A circlet with a star diamanté in the middle. A fluttering dressthe color of space itself. A staff whose top resembled a crescent moon.
This was a humanoid Boss.
The gigantic figure raised her staff to theair, and bellowed,
“You who fought diligently throughcountless battles, I congratulate you. You have overcome my attempts to end yourlives through passive means; you have destroyed my battalions. Yet at thismoment, you will feel my wrath, for I am the Crown Head of Crescent Moon –leader of my people!”
After her introduction, the Boss’ name wasfinally revealed. The group looked with apprehension and caution as the bold,white sign stated, ‘Queen Celestia, Interstellar Ruler of Crescent Moon’, andfour and a half sets of Health Points climbed around her.
Instantly, Queen Celestia floated down toground level, and thrust her staff against the iridescent flooring, sending ashockwave throughout the arena. The majority of the group were able to jump intime, yet those who were too close to prepare suitably were knocked to theground, their weapons sprawling across the glistening surface. They tried tostand up, but faltered on their feet.
“What happened? You okay?” Kirito calledout from in front, noticing them struggle to stand.
“We incurred a tumbling debuff, which thenturned into dizziness.” One member of the KoB replied, and sighed irritably,“Tch.”
“It’s okay!” Asuna yelled as she racedforward, “Just be prepared next time.”
After the initial shock of the surpriselong-range attack waned, the group soon reassembled and were able to fightpowerfully against their foe.
About twenty minutes into the battle, the Boss’first HP bar had disintegrated, leaving three and a half left. Reaching animportant part in the battle, Queen Celestia screeched in rage,
“How dare you! How dare you mock me?! Thisatrocity will soon be over! You will not defeat me!”
She waved her staff across the sky, and apink, sparkling mist formed overhead. Asuna looked up in shock. If that mistwas anything like the usual attacks released by the mobs of this level, cominginto contact with it would surely result in sleep induction. She could notafford to let her raid members fall into such a trap. Scrolling franticallythrough her inventory, Asuna searched for her tonic. She screamed to the group,
“Everyone! Drink Hypersomniac’s Releaseright now!”
She found what she desired, and made thepotion appear in her hand and chugged the contents down. Suddenly, she wassurrounded by a temporary, golden glow, and particles of light seeminglyfloated from her skin. She looked to the top-right of her vision as a yellowstar appeared in her buffs list – anti-sleep.
Having sorted herself out, Asuna lookedaround for Kirito. The boy had heeded her warning, as the rest of the raidgroup had, and held an empty bottle in his right hand, also peering at theominous mist above them. He threw the glass away, and it clinked against theground before fragmenting into shards of blue. His gaze turned to QueenCelestia, add he noticed how the gargantuan ruler of the stars was temporarilystunned by her own attack. Unsheathing the Dark Repulser along with hisElucidator, he held the two weapons with an unbreakable grip, and rushedtowards the Boss.
Asuna was not far behind.
Kirito yelled out to a KoB tank that wasclose-by to kneel down. The man initially had a look on his confusion on hisface, but with limited time and the Black Swordsman rushing at him at fullspeed, he hastily did so, and Kirito leapt from him like a springboard,propelled towards the Boss’ dazed face. He held his dual swords in position fora Sword Skill, and released a flurry of attacks at the Queen’s circlet, havingfigured out her weak point. The sixteen-hit combo ‘Starburst Stream’ was dealtto the Boss, and the Queen yelled out in pain, holding her head in her hands.The pink mist subsided, and Kirito yelled out,
“Switch!” as he fell back to earth.
“Yes!” Asuna yelled out in reply, and soaredinto the air gracefully from her heels. With the Boss kneeled over in pain,Asuna was able to reach her more easily, and could deal an eight-hit combo,Star Splash, to her forehead. Queen Celestia let out a bellow, and was forcedto the ground.
“Nice, Asuna!” Kirito yelled out to her,showing her a thumb’s up as she descended in an arc.
“Good goin’! Awesome effort!” Klein yelledout, pumping a fist in the air.
As soon as Asuna landed safely, all membersof the raid group rushed forward, and dealt their own damage to the Boss.During this endeavor, Queen Celestia had lost a quarter of her second HP bar,and a surge of confidence elated the group.
The raid members continued to fight in a comparablefashion, and experienced similar results as HP bar after HP bar was diminished.
However, both Asuna and Kirito started tofeel tense.
Usually by the midway point of battle, theattack patterns of a Boss would alter and increase in difficulty. Yet this hadnot occurred in the battle with Queen Celestia. As the third HP bar becameclose to empty, Kirito had taken a couple of steps towards Asuna in preparationfor a change in attack, yet when the bar had diminished, nothing untoward occurred.Klein gave Kirito a sly look, to which the Black Swordsman had shook his headwith a sigh. Asuna gave him a quizzical look before the Kirito sped back todeal another sixteen-hit combo to Queen Celestia’s circlet.
After an hour and forty-five minutes, theexhausted group yelled out in joy as the fourth bar dissipated into the sky.
It was now onto the last spurt.
Kirito opened up his inventory and removeda tonic in preparation for the interval pink mist. He had only oneHypersomniac’s Release remaining in his inventory, and was glad that he hadenough left without asking others for help. Feeling the turquoise, chilled, andslightly bubbly liquid slide down his throat, he smirked as an extra tenminutes was added to his anti-sleep buff. In the vicinity, Asuna also searchedthrough her inventory for the same concoction, but her eyes widened as she cameto realization that she had none left. Scrolling back to the top of herinventory, she peered up at the sky.
There was no pink sleeping mist.
Something was wrong.
Looking back down at her inventory, shenoticed a potion that otherwise went undetected. Her brows drew in thought asshe studied the strange concoction. Pressing on it for more information, shegasped. It was named ‘Celestia’s Blessing’, and was liquid gold in a bottle.She was not sure what it was, what it did, or why she had it, but she closedthe information tab hurriedly and searched for Kirito.
She had to let him know what was happeningbefore he did something reckless.
Yet it was too late.
“I’m going forward!” Kirito yelled, pickingup speed as he headed directly towards the Boss. He expected a cheer ofencouragement from his fellow raid-members; however, a very different soundentered his ears,
“No, wait!” Asuna had screamed, runningtowards him, “There’s no pink mist! This is a different attack pattern!” Despitethis, Kirito had already jumped in the air, and was met with the ethereal,glistening eyes of Queen Celestia herself, no longer comatose from her owndebilitating debuff. Kirito’s brows drewtogether in regret, his eyes wide. In his shock and confusion, he did notprepare a Sword Skill, and came crashing back to the ground as the Boss heldher staff to her chest and began to hum an unfamiliar tune.
Kirito winched as he came into contact withthe hard surface beneath him, and watched his already yellowed HP bar drop intothe beginnings of the red zone. It was a long and hard fall.
“Kirito-kun!” Asuna cried in a panic as shereached him, kneeling by his side, “Are you alright?”
“I-I’m fine…” he replied, letting her wrapher arms around his upper left arm to help lift him back on his feet, “What’shappening?”
“I’m not so sure…” Asuna admitted, staringup at Queen Celestia as the interstellar ruler continued humming, “But itdoesn’t seem good.”
“Tell the raid group to back away.” Kiritoinstructed, staring purposefully at Asuna, “If we don’t know what’s going tohappen, we need to save as many people as we can for when it does. Go!” Asunawas hesitant to leave Kirito’s side, but she nodded, and turned around to thedisorientated group.
“Everyone, retreat to the sidelines!” shecommanded, “Prepare for a new attack! Put all power into tanks! Increasedefense to its pinnacle!”
There was a general yell of affirmation asthe raid group withdrew from the Boss. Yet Queen Celestia did not move, andcontinued to hum a tune that only she knew. Asuna watched this ceremonycarefully, and noticed that the crescent moon at the end of her staff glowedbrighter and brighter. This was the charging of a truly powerful attack,stronger than anything they had seen before, and Asuna felt like kickingherself that she did not realize so sooner.
“Anything could happen! Take any and allpotions you need! Prepare for the worst!”
The Boss having half a HP bar remaining,and a seemingly high-level attack building right in front of Asuna, shecontemplated what to do. Her mind switched gears, and she suddenly rememberedthe tonic she possessed with the unknown powers; Celestia’s Blessing. Sheturned back to Kirito, who was now on his feet, watching her mind work at fullthrottle.
“Do you have any unusual potions in yourinventory?” she asked him, “Something called Celestia’s Blessing?”
He quickly searched through his concoctionsbefore replying,
“No. Nothing like that. Why? Do you havesomething strange in your inventory?’
“Yeah, I do. I’m not sure what it is,though.”
“Drink it.” He stared at her hard, “Youneed to drink it right now.”
“Huh? Why?” Asuna replied, panicked.
“This is something given to you, Asuna. There’sa reason you have this potion. You need to take advantage of it.”
“B-But surely someone else has it as well,right? And anyway, wouldn’t you make better use of it than me, Kirito-kun?”
Kirito held the sides of Asuna’s arms,jolting her attention to him.
“I know you struggle to believe itsometimes, Asuna, but you’re strong – stronger than me. This is a power youhave to harness. Of course, I’ll still help you; that’s my job.” He smiled ather, and she could only nod in reply. Kirito patted her arm once, then turnedaround to the group.
“Does anyone have a potion calledCelestia’s Blessing in their inventory?” he asked hurriedly as he watched the Bosswith caution. The Queen was no longer humming, but singing in some unknownlanguage, lifting her staff towards the sky.
Kirito was greeted with negative replies,and turned back to Asuna.
“You’re the only one with the potion, okay?You’re the one meant to destroy this Boss.”
“That’s so much responsibility! I-I can’tLA – I’ve never done it before!”
“You can. You can definitely defeat this Boss.I’ll be there beside you the entire time. Trust yourself, Asuna.” He paused ashe saw her cheeks flourish by his words, before adding, “C’mon, drink thepotion.”
“O-Okay…” Asuna replied skeptically,removing the tonic from her inventory. She admired the way it shimmered in thetranslucent bottle. It was a very soft gold – almost clear in nature, and sheimagined that if Queen Celestia could cry, this would be what her tears weremade of. Uncapping the solution, she drank deeply until the entire concoctionwas gone.
She peered at the top-right corner of hervision, and saw another buff appear next to her HP bar. Underneath the yellowstar, a sparkling, golden moon appeared, labelled ‘anti-comatose’. The buff seemedstronger than the usual anti-sleep status effect, and lasted longer, too. Asunafelt significantly more alert and aware than before.
Just as she admired this new buff, QueenCelestia finished her song with an ear-piercing note, and a beam of light shotfrom the end of her staff into the air. A fine, gold dust drifted from the sky,sprinkling towards the floor below. Both Asuna and Kirito watched the displaywith a mixture of awe and terror, dreading to find out what the delicatesubstance would do.
“What was the result of the potion, Asuna?”Kirito asked her, not drawing his eyes from the sky.
“It gave me a new buff.” Asuna explained,once again looking at the status effect on her HP bar.
“What does it say?”
“Anti-comatose.”
Kirito’s gaze shot to Asuna like a target,his eyes opening wide as he realized his mistake.
“Wait, what’s wrong?” she asked, seeing thefear written on his face. He opened his mouth to yell something to her, but thegolden particles began to settle around them like flower petals. As they landedon Kirito’s cheek, his eyes instantly began to close, and he fell to his knees.She felt the substance sprinkle her hair, and it glowed on her armor.
“Kirito-kun?!” Asuna yelled in despair,racing to his side and holding him in her arms, “Hey, what’s happening,Kirito-kun?! Answer me!” Yet the boy’s entire weight rested against her, and hewent limp, completely unconscious. “No. No, no, no.” Asuna muttered, shakingher head, “This can’t be happening. This absolutely can’t be happening!”
Refusing to let go of Kirito, Asuna scannedthe Boss Room, yet there was no movement to be seen. Every single member of theraid group had fallen to the floor, asleep. Even Klein and the other members ofthe Fuurinkazan were lying face-down on the ground, with golden particlesresting on them like snow. One tank of the KoB, who seemed to be able to resistthe divine power of Queen Celestia longer than the rest, finally collapsed infront of her eyes, and she watched in fear as the fighter dropped his battleaxe.
The weapon fell over the side of the arena,into the pink clouds. Asuna was certain that anything that fell over the edgewould fall onto the ground of the floor itself, unable to be retrieved untilQueen Celestia was defeated, but to her surprise, the tank’s axe cameplummeting from the sky, and wedged itself into the iridescent surface of theBoss Room arena with a clang that seemed to resonate throughout the entire space,creating cracks along the floor.
Everything went still. All of a sudden andall at once, Asuna was very, very alone.
Like a knock to the head, she became awareof the true power of her buff; became aware of what Kirito was trying to tellher; and became aware of her mortality. Completely despondent, she turned herattention back to the boy reposed against her chest, and gently rested him onhis back, understanding that Queen Celestia could release her next attack atany moment.
Yet the behemoth ruler seemed to bestanding back, watching Asuna scramble for hope futilely with an air ofcondescension, seemingly entertained by the spectacle.
Tenderly, Asuna pressed a cold andtrembling palm against Kirito’s relaxed cheek, her breath catching in her chestas she held back the threatening urge to cry.
He would not want to see her so weak. Notafter he had told her how strong she had become. She could not let him witnessher in that state. Instead, she steadied her quivering lips, her eyes hardeningas she leaned over him.
“Please, wake up.” She pleaded quietly yetforcibly, shaking his shoulder with her free hand. “Please.” Her voice hitchedin her throat. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you. I’mpowerless without you…” Her hand glided from his face, down his neck, to restagainst his chest, over his heart. She lowered herself, and her foreheadpressed against the rough fabric of his shirt, her voice barely a whisper.
“You promised you would be next to me. Youpromised you would help me. I know this is my obligation, but without you… I-Ican’t…” Her shoulders began to shake, and after that, she could not holdherself back any longer. The tears streamed down her cheeks, plopping againstthe black cloth, and she sobbed. “I don’t want to die! I can’t do this anymore!Please, Kirito-kun… Come back…”
There was a light laugh, before QueenCelestia peered down at Asuna’s hunched form and switched her staff to theother hand.
“I chose you. No one else can help younow.” The interstellar leader explained, and Asuna lifted her headapathetically, devoid of hope.
“But why?” she asked the divine queen,“What makes me so special?”
“You have proven your worth to me as acompetent fighter. We shall have a one-on-one battle to the death. It would notbring my people honor for me to be slaughtered by such a large assemblage.” Shegestured to the fallen members of the raid group. “A woman’s honor shall bepreserved by a woman’s desire, yes? Now, let us duel.”
A woman’s honor shall be preserved by awoman’s desire.
Asuna’s eyes narrowed in understanding. Shewas the only girl on the raid team.
Queen Celestia wanted to only fight awoman. This made Asuna wonder what would have happened if there were multiplewomen in the raid, or none at all, but these thoughts quickly left her mind asthe Boss lowered herself to the ground. Landing lightly, her galactic dress andpink hair floated in the wind. She looked the part; appropriate for a battle ofthe stars. The gargantuan ruler was at least seven times her height, and Asuna lookedupwards with anxiety.
Waving her staff in a circular formation,Queen Celestia summoned what appeared to be bright lights to her side. Uponcloser inspection, these turned out to be miniature stars.
Asuna had to move.
“I will not be defeated! My reign shallprosper!” the Boss boomed, and the stars plummeted towards Asuna at an amazingspeed. Yet the player was faster, and avoiding the first few projectiles in away that ensured they would hit the ground and not fellow raid members, she wasable to counter one with her Lambent Light, sending the orb spinning backtowards the Boss. The queen hit the star with her staff, and it ricocheted backin Asuna’s direction.
This game of back-and-forth lasted forabout three turns, until the star was finally cut in half with Asuna’s rapier,sending the shards back towards the queen. The fragments of star hit the Bossstraight in the star diamanté dangling from her circlet, and she screamed inpain. Asuna noted that the half-HP bar depleted by 20%. If she repeated that attack pattern five moretimes, she would win.
Yet, those stars were deadly.
Asuna glanced at her own HP bar, which wason the very edge between green and yellow – about sixty-six percent. She couldnot tell how much damage one of those stars would do to her if it hit, andpondering on this, Asuna’s heart began to pound in her ears, and she felt lighton her feet. However, she could not let Kirito down.
This was her fight.
Regaining her composure, the Queen onceagain summoned her stars, and sent them hurtling towards the lone fighter.Asuna began to repeat the same process, bouncing the glowing orb back andforth, preparing to cut it in half, when the dreaded happened.
The star was split in half by QueenCelestia’s staff, and the shard came spinning towards Asuna at an unavoidablespeed. She tried to yell out in shock, yet before she had time to do anything,they hit her; one in the head, the other in the stomach. She was thrownbackwards by the momentum, leaving a trail of dust behind her. Asuna cried outin pain as she rolled further and further away from the center of the arena.
Finally, she skidded to a halt, and openingher eyes, she peered in front of her. No longer was the iridescent floor of thearena in her line of vision, but the pink, cloudlike structure of the ground’sedge. She scampered away in fright, terrified about what would happen if shewere to fall.
That was way too close for her liking.
Bringing a hand to her head, Asuna peeredat her status effects. The Hypersomniac’s Release had run out, but a new effectwas in its place – tumble. The world spun around her. The only thing thatremained stable in her line of vision was her HP bar. Her attention was drawnto it, and her face went white.
Those two hits alone, one to her head and oneher stomach, were enough to deplete half of her remaining health. The barinched closer and closer to the red zone, until the color flicked to crimson.Her eyes opened wide, but she refused to cry in fear again. This was herbattle; she had to remain strong, for both Kirito and for herself.
Carefully putting pressure on unsteadylegs, Asuna stood back up and faced Queen Celestia, her auburn irises flashingwith a deep fire. She could not afford another hit like that again.
She could not lose.
Asuna regained her composure and settledinto a battle stance, bringing the hilt of her Lambent Light rapier to her jawand pointing the blade toward her opponent. She did everything in her power toovercome the tumble debuff, focusing her whole attention on the Queen.
The Boss waved her staff in a circle onceagain, and five more stars appeared by her sides. Thrusting the glowing orbstowards Asuna, the Queen almost seemed to smirk. She could feel the tensionresiding in the player’s heart. The rallying commenced once again, this timewith increased intensity. Back and forth, back and forth, back and…
The star once again split, but this timeinto thirds. Its shards raced towards the opponent. They hit her weak spot one,two, three times, and the Queen once again yelled out in pain. Asuna breathed asigh of relief, her chest heaving with exertion. She had used her weakest SwordSkill, Linear, against the orb, yet its dutiful strike broke the projectilejust how she wanted it to.
She hoped that three hits meant a thirtypercent damage rate. Peering at Queen Celestia’s HP bar, Asuna almost smiled inreprieve. The last half-bar only had fifty percent remaining.
She could do this.
The Boss initiated another rally, butknowing the trick to success, Asuna did not send it back. Instead, she preparedthe Lambent Light for a Sword Skill, thrust her rapier deep into the glowingorb with a shout of determination and adrenaline as soon as it sped towardsher. This time, the projectile split into quarters, and they hurtled towardsthe Queen at a terrifying speed. All four shards pierced deep into her stardiamanté, and she screeched with rage and agony. The behemoth ruler was broughtto her knees, and Asuna focused as the Boss’ HP bar dropped into red territory,and stabilized at 10%.
Asuna could not wait any longer. Her heartraced hard and fast in her chest, like an old steam engine. Her hands trembleduncontrollably, threatening to drop her beloved blade. She felt ready tocollapse, her breathing shallow and jagged.
She had to finish this. She had to finishthis now.
Asuna remembered the KoB tank and hisbattle ax – how the weapon had not fallen out of reach to the ground of thefloor below, but rather came hurtling back to the arena from above. If Asunacould just reach Queen Celestia’s circlet herself…
She quickly glanced at Kirito, who wasstill comatose on the floor, and wondered what he would do in this situation.Would he wait for his opponent to deliver one last attack, even though thechances of the bout being the same once the Boss hit the final red zone wereslim? Or would he plunge headfirst into an uncertain final, determined to claimvictory?
Yes, she knew him well enough to understandexactly what he would do, and she was resolute to see this through to the end inthe most spectacular fashion possible.
Turning her back to Queen Celestia, Asunamade a beeline for the arena’s edge. With a shout of courage, she jumped offthe edge, into the expanse of pink clouds. Gravity pulled on her, and sherushed through the cotton candy substance at an incredible rapidity. However,suddenly her vision was cleared, and to her relief, she saw the flowing, pinkhair of Queen Celestia below her.
Her plan had worked.
Altering her fall, Asuna prepared to landon the Boss. Holding her rapier to her side with a yell, her beloved LambentLight glowed a remarkable amethyst – the beginning of a Sword Skill. Hearingthe player’s call, the Boss looked upwards as Asuna shot towards her. Shelanded with one boot on either side of the behemoth leader’s nose, and releasedher fury in the form of her most prized Sword Skill, Star Splash. She watchedas Queen Celestia’s HP lowered further and further, before resting on onepercent.
This would end everything.
She lifted her rapier into the air, and broughtthe blade down in a singular thrust – her strongest Linear yet – right throughthe star diamanté hanging from the Queen’s circlet. The accessory fractured andburst into shards of luminescent blue light. The sword dug deep into the Boss’forehead, and Queen Celestia’s eyes widened in shock. Her HP completely diminished,and she screamed despairingly before her face began to crack, too. Asunarefused to let go of her blade, and she stared deep into the Queen’s beautiful,extraterrestrial irises. Having been defeated, the Boss’ featured softened, andshe stared at Asuna.
“You did well… player…” Celestia whispered,“You are worthy… of my legion… Congratulations.”
Asuna did not let her gaze waver, her chestrising and falling steadily in exhaustion. Her hands continued to shake as theyheld tightly to her Lambent Light, scared that if she were to let go, the Bosswould not truly die.
Somewhere deep inside, Asuna felt a type ofcommemoration for the way the fight had turned out. This was the first time a ‘singularplayer versus boss’ battle had ensued, and Asuna felt stronger for it.
The Queen had been a very formidable foe.
Upon the defeat of Queen Celestia,Interstellar Ruler of Crescent Moon, the comatose debuff was lifted from therest of the raid group. Groggily, Kirito opened his eyes, and it was only whenhe met the obscure gaze of Klein laying upon the iridescent ground in hisvicinity that he remembered what had happened. A jolt of terror raced throughhis body.
Asuna.
“Asuna!” he cried her name. Scrambling tohis feet, Kirito frantically searched the arena for her, and for QueenCelestia. His gaze found the Boss first, but discovering that the gargantuanruler had turned eerily still, like stone, his heart skipped a light beat inhope.
It was only when he peered higher that hesaw her. He saw her on top of the Boss’ face, breathing heavily, with her stunningrapier thrusted deeply into the Queen’s forehead. He saw her, and she had neverlooked more beautiful.
Large cracks began to run down QueenCelestia’s body, until the entire Boss looked like it would break at anymoment. In a burst of blue light, the gigantic body dissipated in front of him –in front of them all – and the Floor Boss was truly defeated.
The rest of the raid group clapped andjumped and cheered, hugging each other and celebrating their win.
Yet Kirito did not join in.
Amongst the shards of blue, a tiny figurefell through the starry space. Kirito raced forward. Although Asuna was amember of the KoB, she was in a raid party with him. He could see her HP bar.
If Asuna fell from that height, she wouldcertainly die.
Kirito did not remember thanking hisincreased agility as much as he did that day. Bolting towards thedisintegrating queen, Kirito arrived underneath Asuna just in time to catchher. The two came crashing to the ground.
“Asuna!” Kirito yelled in relief as he heldher body closer to him, “You did it! You defeated the Boss!” Within hisembrace, the delicate figure began to shake, clutching onto his shirt andburying her face into his chest.
“I-I was so scared! I thought I was goingto die! I thought I was going to die alone! I thought I couldn’t do it!” Asunasobbed, “I was so, so scared…”
It was only when she broke down in his armsthat Kirito fully comprehended what had happened. Asuna was the only one withCelestia’s Blessing. Without it, Kirito had fallen unconscious. That meant,everyone else in the raid party had, too.
Asuna had faced the final battle with theFloor Boss all by herself. She had fought a battle of life and death and hadwon.
Guilt crept up his chest like a vine,clutching around his vocal cords. A deep sympathy ran through his veins, andhis smile waned. Bowing his head in regret, he patted the top of her crown inan attempt to comfort the usually strong-willed girl who had disheveled infront of him.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Kiritoreplied sorrowfully, running his fingers through her hair, “I’m so sorry…” Hecould feel a tear run down his own cheek.
How stupid had he been? If he had justdrunk the concoction himself, she could have avoided this.
It should have been him.
Kirito felt like he could not hold Asunaclose enough. He felt like he could not ease her pain enough. She trembled inhis arms, absolutely traumatized, and absolutely exhausted. It slashed himdeeper than any blade could.
All he could do was apologize.
The other raid members were coming back totheir senses, and soon their attention was brought to the fact that QueenCelestia had disappeared, and Asuna was in Kirito’s arms. It was definitely notunknown that the two frontliners were very fond of each other, but there wassomething in the way that he held her that suggested this went beyond love.
Something irreplaceable had almost beenlost.
One of the KoB members stepped forward,concerned about their subleader, but Klein held out a barricading arm. Theleader of the Fuurinkazan had figured out what had happened. He knew the two neededtime.
The massive, bolded ‘Congratulations’ sign burstoverhead, but no one was celebrating anymore. Although there were no playercasualties, what had happened in that Floor Boss fight seemed like death andrebirth. Asuna had risked her life to save the ones of her fellow raid members.She put everything, her absolute all, on the line for victory.
Everyone stood silently in commemoration.
As everyone received their EXP and loot winnings,Asuna weakly peered in front at the screen that appeared before her. At thetop, the info box stated, ‘Last Attack Bonus’, before providing a list thatwould be very similar to everyone else’s. She smiled softly through her tears,before turning back to Kirito.
“I… I received my first LA bonus.” Shelaughed. Kirito looked down at her and smiled in return. He could not believeAsuna had depleted the last half a Boss’ HP bar on her own. Every day, sheseemed to surprise him more. She always seemed to have a new aspect to herdetermination hidden that left him awestruck when he discovered it. That waswhen he realized.
He truly did love her.
“You did well.” He replied. Her eyescrinkled happily in his arms.
“Thank you.” She replied softly before herreal body’s brain shut down with exhaustion, and she fainted in front of him.His grip tightened around her. It was now her turn to rest.
As they were in a raid party together, Kiritoand Asuna had been given the option to show each other their own inventories.As they had selected this setting before the Boss battle, Kirito opened hisinventory and switched to Asuna’s, to see what the Last Attack bonus loot was.Of course, he could not remove the item for himself, but he could click on itfor more data.
He tapped on the first item that appeared,for it was the newest. An information box came up which described,
‘Celestia’s Interstellar Circlet: Apowerful circlet which gives the wearer the power of the stars. Wearing thisheaddress increases defense by 10+, and prevents dizziness debuffs.Additionally, the wearer can summon temporary handheld stars, which can be shotat enemies in a projectile fashion. This power must be regenerated after use. Thiswas once the signifying garnet of Queen Celestia, Interstellar Ruler of CrescentMoon.’
It was a headdress befitting Asuna, for shewas so ethereal, sometimes Kirito could not truly fathom that she waswholeheartedly his.
#sword art online#sao#asuna yuuki#kiriasu#kirisuna#kirito#kazuto kirigaya#my fic#my writing#ask#lilcullxn#sleep induction#dreams#aaaaaaa#aaaaaaAAAAAAA
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Game of 2016: Path of Exile(?!): Questioning and analyzing video game addiction, also a review
Hey what’s going on, you’ll ask, Path of Exile isn’t a 2016 game!
Yeah, maybe for you, but about that...
Oh boy. I think all of that was 2016.
I’ll tell the truth, I haven’t played TF2 for a solid 4-5 years and it’s been on the top of my most played charts since I stopped playing. Like all games though, eventually I got tired of it and started played something else but I have not gotten any game beyond that mythical 291 hour mark. Europa Universalis 4, excellent game, but so far, only 194 hours. Dark Souls 1 and 2, I finished the game and made several builds at 150 hours. Skyrim? Not great, but addicting, and I broke free from its curse at 162 hours. Only recently, when I last checked, did another game take the place of My Most Played.
Path of Exile.
So, we are at the end of 2016 and instead of anything overtly political and depressing (go check my twitter for that!) I think I want to talk about this game instead. God knows we’ve had quite enough of that so far. And I also want to use the freeform essay format to properly sort out my feelings about being addicted to a video game, something I haven’t truly felt since my days of Ragnarok Online. So let’s go together to a journey of the mind. Journey of my own soul and have a deep heart-to-heart about video game addiction and game design and all that high-learnin’ cockadoo.
So what is Path of Exile?
If I have to put it in the crudest way, Path of Exile is a Diablo clone. More specifically, it’s a reaction to Diablo 3’s art and design direction, which more emphasized a cartoony, bright, and stylized look for the game (i.e. Warcraft-like), in which the overreaction was famously parodied in this Penny Arcade comic. In response, Grinding Gear Games, a New Zealand development company, created a game that plays like Diablo, but darker, edgier, bloodier, gorier.
If you’re like me, you’re rolling your eyes right now and saying “okay dude I’m gonna play a good game that’s not afraid to be bright and colorful like Sora no Kiseki” but hang on. Hear me out. Because even with this juvenile “like Diablo but DARKER” veneer this game has, it’s a genuinely good game. And, you know, it’s free, and that’s probably what pushed me to start this game out in the first place. But then after I started, what made me stick?
I am obsessed with customization
Have you ever looked at the passive tree for Path of Exile? I’ve talked to people who said that just looking at it intimidated them. I’m stupid and this is a video game, so I went in without any prior knowledge. Obviously, I fucked my build up because I thought like a sane person and said “well I’ll focus on powering this skill if I’m in close range but I’ll power this skill if I’m far away!” and both my skills are like the worst in the game. So, instead of being discouraged and play something else, since I’m a dog that loves punishments (oh baby) I rerolled a new character and got something workable by reading guides.
What’s my point here? This game is easy to fuck up because there’s so many ways you can build your character. Not all of them are in any way viable. But I like that. That’s fine. That’s the risk if there are also a ton of ways to make your character viable. You want a standard character that can’t take a ton of hits but absorb health by attacking them with your giant axe? Yeah sure. You want to build a character that has no health at all but immune to chaos damage while you let your minions do the hard work? Why not? You found some super rare gloves that reverse knockback effects so they come to you, so you’re going to make a build completely based on making yourself a magnet for enemies? Shit, you do you, fam. It might work, it might not, but making stupid theories and working out details on your builds is fun.
And because I am that insane enough about wanting to try new things even if it hurts me, but not insane enough to think it matters that I get hurt is why I am in love with this aspect of PoE.
For awhile, it is empty, easy grinding
In the lower difficulties (which you have to go through on ALL YOUR CHARACTERS btw) PoE is piss-easy. And because that section of the game does not require a lot of focus, I doze off, listen to a podcast or audiobook, and go on autopilot.
“Wow you don’t sound like you’re enjoying the game.” That’s not what that means. It means that due to my warped understanding of productivity, it’s a game that I can multitask with just fine. It’s the reason I was kind of into Guild Wars 2 a while ago, it’s easy, not a lot of thought, I can put my brainpower in something else as I grind the levels. I’m not a person that likes to sit still. Unlike a lot of people I am physically incapable of sitting down and watching a movie without pausing and taking a walk around or thinking of something (movie theaters are hell). Video games allow me to listen to Chapo Trap House, likewise when I am driving, eating, doing busy work, or otherwise any activity that doesn’t utilize a major part of my brainpower.
It might be no coincidence that I got into Path of Exile in 2016, when I’ve gotten the urge to listen to more audio-based media. That it was right after my dad died and I began to think a whole lot about money. About capitalism. Started to read, get information, and the dead empty-headed approach to video games like most MMOs and PoE appealed to that.
I doubt I could’ve gotten through all the books and podcasts I have without having something for my fingers and that part of my mind to do.
An interesting approach to multiplayer economies
Crafting in PoE is a piece of shit.
But it’s a piece of shit that’s expertly designed because GGG wants it to be shitty. Everything is in the mercy of the RNG, when you craft, so if you want to give your boots a little bit of boost to your mana, you don’t get to decide how much it gives. When you upgrade your common helmet with the item that gives it bonuses, you don’t get to decide what those bonuses are. As GGG further updates the game to give us more control over the crafting results, they never let the player get full control of it. They still give at least some portion of the process to RNG.
That shittiness makes the multiplayer aspect necessary.
Unlike another recently-released Diablo clone, Grim Dawn, PoE is designed from the ground up to be a multiplayer game, which can be seen in its drops. Grim Dawn’s rarest drops appear like candy compared to PoE, so you don’t really NEED to trade around to get the builds you want to run. PoE doesn’t get a lot of rare drops, and the majority of them have such randomized stats to make them utterly useless for your specific build. They might be good for someone else’s build, though, so you put it up for sale.
Here’s where it gets interesting: PoE does not have money in a traditional sense. There’s no gold item which only function is so you can purchase things. All currencies are crafting components. Items to randomize the bonuses of your gear. Items to add a random bonus to your equipment. Items to randomize the colors of your gem sockets, randomize the amount of the gem sockets, randomize the links between each socket, etc. etc. etc. These items are now your currency.
So you sell your item, you get some crafting currencies. You decide not to spend them and instead use them to make your own equipment. Etc. Rinse and repeat. The multiplayer is necessary if you want to play something other than self-found builds.
But this sort of multiplayer economy is symptomatic of any mercantilist system. Eventually, you’ll have a player or a guild that’s very successful and have the economic might to run and dictate prices of the market. How can anyone avoid that? Simple: by resetting the economies in temporary leagues. The temporary league is the game mode that anyone actually plays because it’s the one with the gimmicks. Every few months, a new temporary league is made, with a fresh economy, everyone starts from a new character, and your characters from the old league are transferred to standard. Nobody actually plays standard.
In summary: a well-designed and shitty crafting system that encourages player interaction and trading, along with an economy using actual items and barter as currency.
Still developing, still changing
I would not have written this last year--hell, I would not have written this piece six months ago! In 2016 alone, PoE has gotten two major expansions and I want to talk specifically about the second one from this September, Atlas of Worlds.
As much fun as I’m having making builds, figuring out viability of unique items, and looking at the stuff people are selling, the endgame for PoE is criminally dull and uninteresting. Your character has saved the world three times (once per difficulty level) and you get to finally reach the real endgame! How exciting! What is it? Why, you explore randomly-generated areas to get epic loot, of course! Make your character stronger, finish your build!
And quite honestly, this is where I usually stop every league.
This part of the game suffers from the same disease as Monster Hunters X, another excellent game, but one I couldn’t bear to finish. It’s that, even if the game itself is fun, I can’t get invested if there’s just no story attached to it.
Is that silly? Maybe. I loved Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate and played the main campaign to completion. I don’t doubt that if the main campaign lacked the thin veneer of story that it had, without the characters, the narrative, the stakes that each arc put on the table, I would not have gotten far in the game either. That plot is important.
Atlas of Worlds fixes this problem. You explore the maps and an NPC tells you about the Atlas. You encounter a mysterious being that empowers the bosses. You then go on a quest to learn the mysterious goals and to take down this powerful creature and its four great servants.
That’s all it takes! A concrete, solid goal for your character to fight for. It doesn’t need an excellent plot (though it helps). If it’s fun, it will be played, but I do believe that shade of a story and progression is important. More importantly, it fixes this stale and dull endgame.
These expansions are free, by the way, and it will keep on developing. Act 5 of the main plot is being developed now, for example, and new content is forthcoming as well. I’m excited to see how this game will develop as time goes on.
Ok, the bad parts
So! Have the descriptions of my personal psychoses made you more curious about this game? Hang on there, because I’m about to dive into why this game isn’t perfect. Like not even close.
Holy shit leveling is boring.
I told you already about temporary leagues, right? And how leveling characters mindlessly is part of the joys of the game? Yeah, that might not be for everyone.
I’m not exactly sure why I’m lagging?
Not a game with the best online implementation, admittedly, and in a game that’s always constantly online, that’s a problem. That its graphics are mediocre and it can encounter graphical stutters is also an annoying minus towards its merits.
PoE exploded my computer
I’ve seen one--and only one--tell me their computer died because they tried playing PoE. I do not know how credible this is and I’m not sure I believe them.
Other parts/in summary
Path of Exile is a fantastic game and time sink. Not perfect, far from it, and I think though anyone can enjoy it, I think it takes a certain type of person to be utterly obsessive about it.
I’m certainly not the most obsessed. There’s a person in my friends list, who befriended me after we made a small party to beat a boss. They’re always online. Always. Constantly changing characters out of the fly. X is offline. X is online. X is offline. X is online. Even though I spend an unhealthy amount of time playing, and writing, about the game, there are others who are even more obsessed. Who are they?
Have you ever been addicted to an online game? To an MMO? I have. That game was Ragnarok Online when I was but a young teenager. It was an unhealthy obsession that uh…
Hmm…
No, actually, I can’t say that I regret it. But I do regret some stupid stuff I did while riding on that obsession.
See, that’s the thing about it, I associate good feelings with the obsession, though I know it was objectively a bad thing. I still smile and want to cry when I listen to the theme of Prontera. The truth is, I enjoyed my addiction. Because the real world was honestly not really better.
Is it a coincidence that my addiction began when I moved to the USA? Probably not. I left my friends back in the home country and came here all friendless. I wasn’t quite able to talk or make friends in this strange new country with its alien nostalgia, its foreign cultures, and a language that I am kind of fluent in, but only because of my previous obsession with movies and video games. So I dove deep into the online world. Forums. RP. Video games. Particularly, Ragnarok Online.
I was probably lucky the server shut down when it did!
That was then, around 2005 to 2007 or so. Since then I was able to become more social, more used to life in the USA. Less dependent, perhaps, on video games.
Now, in the tail end of 2016 and the dawn of 2017, I am obsessed and finding myself spending a lot of time in another game. I don’t think it is the game itself. Depending on specific circumstances, I might find myself obsessing over another game. But I am obsessed with a game now, and what does it say about me?
What does it say about 2016?
Why did you write this?
Well, to make this article about me for a second, I have not been properly writing these days. I used to be a bit prolific with short stories but the daily grind of life, work, and clinical depression have smoothened out the parts of my brain that get excited about fiction. Not completely, but enough. I still have things I want to talk about though, and I am compelled to write something down, so I decided to talk about my discovery of PoE beating my TF2 numbers.
Anything is worth writing about, you know, and a game review is no exception, even if it is a few years old.
And also, I haven’t been playing a lot of games, you know? And the games that I hoped would be GotY just turned out to be... Not flops, but just good or ok. Stellaris, Hearts of Iron 4, SMT4 Apocalypse, Dark Souls 3. Either that or I’ve gotten old and cynical. Or maybe since these games are involving and take a long time, I’ve just lost the time to spend a lot of time focusing my whole brainpower on them. So I just wrote about Path of Exile.
It just wasn’t a great year in general, huh?
But that’s my piece. As I try to escape life I find myself delving deeper into the systems in my head that make me like what I like. 2017 will not be a good year, not by any stretch. But we will all get through this together.
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JULY 2018
PAGE RIB
***** Pete Davidson has gotten himself engaged to Arianna Grande. He has new tattoos to prove his love.
***** The first wall was raised for the old Conklin’s barn dinner theatre in Goodfield, Illinois. After a struggle to raise money after the old barn was destroyed and a fight with the insurance company, the day has finally come. The new structure which is part of a whole new complex will open in 2019. I can’t wait!!!
***** Vikings QB, Kirk Cousins is still driving his great old van and proud of it.
***** Check out Rotten apples, a website that is a database for consumers to learn if those involved in movies or TV have allegations against them.
***** The Daily show had a good idea. Every time that Scary Clown 45 does his daily dose of fucking everything up, call Fox news. Calling your congressmen and protesting will have to continue, of course but it seems he mostly listens to Fox. Perhaps if they get tired of listening to us bitch, they will try to get their boss/fan to change a few things. 1-888-369-4762.** How far down will he and his cult drag this country?
***** A personal note: I heard a comedian the other day talking about jerks in all parts of our lives. Whether it be church, work, school, concerts, an AA meeting or whatever there is always an asshole in the mix to ruin stuff. This really resonated with me because I have seen a situation lately that perfectly illustrates this. A local store has a department with 3 managers. Manager #1 keeps hiring in his friends that mostly create their own schedules and do not often break a sweat. Manager #2 has been there a while and things run pretty smooth and fair when they run the day. Manager #3 is new to the position and often seems like they do not know what the fuck is going on and it was recently learned that this one has been backstabbing #2 so much that # 2 was fired. Now, we can’t know, of course, the reason for the firing but it just shows that a perfectly nice place to work and shop with a company one can believe in can go all wrong because of one or two bad apples. Manager #2 who is also battling illness (so does not often have the strength to fight back) has lost a career and many employees who respect them are now stuck working with people they know will run the place into the ground or having to find another job. I have seen a few similar situations thru the years and of course, asshole in chief in D.C. is like the all time perfect example of this but why can’t we weed out the jerks?
***** Days alert: Is Paul leaving? What? They need to bring in a good mate for him. He is arguably the most honest person in town and he deserves the best. Let Will and Sonny have each other and find a better match for Paul but don’t let him go. I mean Sonny treats Paul like he isn’t even in the room half the time and they were going to marry?! But, yes.. Chris Sean (Paul) is going and Bryan R. Dattilo (Lucas) may go soon too. Marci Miller (Abby) is out and will be replaced by the old Abby, Kate Mansin. Arianne Zucker (Nicole) will be back. Will she have a baby for Eric? Olivia Rose Keegar (Claire) has released a single titled ‘Just my type.’** Are they really gonna do a Ben and Ciara thing?** Sephen Nichols (Patch) is out as well as Greg Rikkaart (Leo). Farah Fath (Mimi Lockhart) is back. Sheila, Shawn and Belle will show up soon. Kyle Lowder who used to play Brady will return as another character. There is a rumor that Allison Sweeney (Sami) will swing in for a bit and will she be pregnant with Rafe’s baby? I am betting so since Hope just mentioned something about Raif not having any kids.
***** Antarctic ice loss has tripled in just a decade.
***** The Philadelphia Eagles were cancelled at the White House because most of them would not come. Philly’s mayor countered with:” Trump is not a true patriot but a fragile egomaniac obsessed with crowd size and afraid of the embarrassment of throwing a party to which no one wants to attend.” The night before, Fox news showed pics of Eagles kneeling when in fact they were praying as they always do. Nobody said there was anything wrong with that before so the players would like to know what is wrong with praying? This particular team never took a knee all season as protest. And what about the 10 players who wanted to go to the White house and worked hard to get there?** Scary Clown says he won’t even invite the NBA champs.
***** Illinois ratified the ERA. Just 1 more state and 36 years after the deadline to adopt legislation we may get there.
***** So, I see Domino’s latest stunt is fixing the roads? Somebody has to work on the infrastructure so it might as well be them.
***** The MtV awards best dressed to me were Alison Brie and Kristen Bell. While the chaos engulfed our country, the young people at the awards (the so called Hollywood elite), spoke out for real super heroes, acceptance for all and an end to bullying.
***** Should we be giving Dennis Rodman airtime to show how stupid he is? I hear the argument over and over lately that someone was nice to them so they must be ok. This could be said of Trump, Kim Jung Un or a serial killer. How fucking selfish can people be? The ignorant seem to be incapable of seeing the horror right in front of them as they pick and choose facts.
***** Why have I seen a rash of first cousins as lover’s jokes? Why is it ok to make fun of this?
***** Artifacts were found in Springfield, Il. which came from the 1908 race riots. First found in 2014 when work was being done on an underpass, officials hope to soon have them on display. After working to preserve the items, they are looking to the Smithsonian and the Library of Congress.
***** Is there a new serial killer in Massachusetts?
***** The Koch brothers are apparently waging war all over the country against Mass Transit. They use paid activists to push similar thinking voters to vote it down. It is funny that these big government haters don’t mind that the Koch Brothers have made a well thought out data service to help control their voters.
***** The Tony’s were pretty rockin’ this year. Robert DeNiro got everybody going with a Fuck Trump sentiment. Most awards went to The Band’s Visit, Harry Potter and the cursed child and Angels in America. Once on an Island won best revival and other winners were Glenda Jackson and Nathan Lane (who I love but was really pulling for Michael Cera and Brian Tyree Henry). Tony Shalhoub, Laurie Metcalf and Andrew Garfield also took home awards. The most beautiful moment was from the students of Stoneman Douglas and their teacher who was honored.** A Trump supporter went to A Bronx tale: The musical after the DeNiro incident which is codirected by Mr. D. The supporter held up a Trump 2020 sign. My son chuckled, “At least he bought a ticket.”
***** IHOP has become IHOB. They think they are Red Robin. More $ in burgers than pancakes, I guess.
***** Stephen Colbert sang the National anthem at a Mets game.** Trump is taking swipes at the late night hosts now. Conan, Colbert and Fallon teamed up to do a funny about that.
***** So some people think that Roseanne’s racist remarks and Samantha Bee’s ‘cunt’ comment are the same? Both should lose their show? NO.. big difference. Other countries do not get our outrage.. The word ‘cunt’ is not as big a deal in Canada and Great Britain. If there is fall out shouldn’t standards and practices at TBS be in trouble for letting the ‘feckless cunt’ comment go to broadcast? I mean Roseanne did this on her twitter on her own. Trump cult members think they can all go to twitter and spout their racist, hateful rhetoric and get away with it. If one is going to be successful in the mainstream world, they may not get away with that like Scary Clown. Anyway, Go Samantha Bee!!**BTW, Love the letter that Michael Moore put out about Trump and Roseanne, it is worth a read.** ABC will let the others serve out their contracts after a settlement with Roseanne when they bring us The Conners.
***** Jim Carrey and Showtime will give us ‘Kidding’ on Sept. 9. The dark comedy will cast Carrey as Mr. Pickles, a children’s host who is falling apart. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’s Michel Gondry will direst and the cast will include Catherine Keener, Judy Greer and Frank Langella.
***** Michael Myers, Jamie Lee Curtis and Halloween are back and wipes out all the sequels.
***** George Clooney received the lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute.
***** Illinois man, Jay Smith claims he may have coyotes, wild dogs, a mix or hybrid or a unique unknown species in the woods around his home. The U.S. Dept. of agriculture and Chicago’s field museum are now interested in the 40 or so creatures. Smith describes them as bigger than wolves with dark coats. You can see for yourself on youtube : Kanahoe wolves of forgottonia.
***** Atlanta has been renewed for season 3, of course!!
***** Reese Witherspoon will soon be back in the Legally Blonde world for the third time.
***** I truly love to hear Louie Anderson laugh.
***** The President is Missing, a novel by James Patterson and Bill Clinton is #1.
***** Terry Crews talked to the Senate about sexual assault.
***** Secret Service is temporarily keeping an eye on Sarah Sanders and more staff members may get their own agents.
***** The Environmental media association Benefit gala honored Elizabeth Olsen, Ray Halbritter, Mike Sullivan and Jane Fonda who danced on stage with the musical guest Snoop Dogg.
***** Redmond O’Neal was arrested on June 8 for assault with a deadly weapon, criminal threat, brandishing a knife, battery and attempted murder. Police say he went on a violent spree in Southern California.
***** Watch for Shock and Awe from Rob Reiner in July. People have been floating his name for President and U know the opposition would immediately call him meathead. I say embrace it, Meathead for President!!!!!!!**I Love that Reiner calls out Trump with’ the art of the lie.’
***** The much anticipated Old man and the gun will be out in September. The comedy filmed in Texas stars Robert Redford, sissy Spacek, Casey Affleck, Danny Glover and Tom Waits. I can’t fucking wait!
***** Look for the new film, An Actor Prepares with Jeremy Irons, Mamie Gummer, Larry Pine and Jack Huston.
*****The special council has piled more charges onto Paul Manafort. It was after this that he went back to court for violating the terms of his house arrest and his bail was revoked. The 40 charges now include witness tampering. All charges were about incidents before the Presidential campaign.
***** We have to know that people are not really paying attention when Scary Clown and Gulliani babble on incoherently on national television and their supporters do not seem to care or they really don’t get it. These voters seem to think that it is easier to stay with the devil you know and just refuse to bend. ** Ivanka keeps gathering more new trademarks in China and refuses to answer questions about it as the trade talk rages on.** Why do people keep trying to normalize all this behavior?
***** So.. Supposedly Trump told a friend that porn is not allowed in the White House and it his biggest complaint. Some reporters submitted this as an official question to the White House. It seems the subject has never really come up so no one has thought to ask before. So far there has been no response. ** Word is that Scary Clown rips up papers after he reads or uses them. The problem is that Presidential papers have to be preserved for history so 2 people work just to tape those papers back together. They were fired this month.
***** Sexual misconduct controversy abounds in Illinois under Mike Madigan with Tim Mapes under the microscope.
***** Justify won the Belmont Stakes and is just the 13th horse in history to win the Triple crown.
***** Senator Jeff Merkley is telling us that immigrants are being held in small cages in Texas. Is this our country? Is this really happening?
***** Recording academy President, Neil Portnow will step down from his post next year.
***** Mystery Science Theatre 3000 will tour in the fall. Joel Hodgson, Jonah Ray, Tom Servo and Crow will begin riffing live on October 9 in Portland, Maine.
***** I wanna be in New Orleans for Voodoo fest on October 26-28. The lineup rocks with Marilyn Manson, Janelle Monae, Zeds dead, Elle King, Mumford and Sons, Arctic Monkeys and Childish Gambino.
***** Next year Brian De Palma is going to start filming ‘Predator’ about the Weinstein scandal.
***** Convicted drug trafficker Alice Johnson was pardoned by Scary Clown. Who’s next?
***** Trump called Canadian PM Trudeau, meek, mild and weak. ** True to form, Trump showed up late at the G7 for his meeting on women’s empowerment.** Rep. Steve Schmidt said that ‘Trump beclowned himself.”** Trump quote: “Kim Jong Un is a great guy” and “ North Korea is no longer a nuclear threat.” I don’t think he will ever hear the end of it over those statements. Saying it does not make it so. I wrote this and then I heard Chuck Schumer say it. ** Big evidence of wrong doing in the Trump charity organization. He is now being sued by the attorney General for persistent illegal conduct.** Trump now says he wants to withdraw from the World Trade Organization. He is being such a good little boy by helping Putin check things off his list. Destroy NATO, Destroy EU, Destroy the UN, Eliminate U.S. leadership. ** As June ends, there are new reports that North Korea has ramped up its Nuclear production.
***** This whole mess with 2,000 kids being taken from their parents at the border is an outrage. I can’t help but think of our ‘well meaning’ Christian folk trying to convert the Native Americans back in the day. They tried hard to make the natives dress like the white man, pray like the white man and go to our schools. As well as leverage for scary clown’s wall, are they trying to fill these children’s heads with their own propaganda while they are in foster care or residing in the white man’s warehouse? **When will the loyalists realize that a wall cannot be built? Private citizens own some of that land. There are bodies of water on the border. No matter how much the racists wish for it, it just can’t be done.** There is something about the way he grins crazily when he is called out on something. It seems like he is so proud of his lies and the way he conducts himself so unethically. I am reminded of Manson and the way he would light up when asked about his crimes or when he was shown footage from other family members talking about him. This is such a fast moving story that some are equating to the way the Jewish and the Japanese were treated in the past. ** It is obvious that no planning went into any of this new policy. It is wonderful that so many reporters are watching the facilities they know about and staying at the border. It takes time to get the facts and it isn’t easy when the administration is being so secretive. The lawsuits have started. Can we get Sessions, Nielsen, Pence and Trump on child neglect??** People of all nations will not want to be here soon and we will be left with the racists and bullies. Do we leave or do we fight? If everybody left the Trumpers alone in this country what would they have to complain about? They have no empathy, it is like they thrive on others suffering. ** Multiple on air personalities cried at the stories of the children as their emotions came to the surface. I think many of us feel helpless as that sinking feeling we all had on election night has come to the point we all feared.** The Red Cross has not even been allowed in to these FOR PROFIT facilities. Protesters are staying on the case of Krisjen Nielsen. The administration and their defenders have been so flippant about the whole thing especially Corey (womp, womp) Lewandowski.** It costs the government over twice as much to house the kids without their parents.** Melania visited the kids and wore a jacket which read ‘I really don’t care, Do you?’ This started a whole new mess. I thought of those Turpin monster parents. Why on earth does anyone want to put kids in cages? Does it make someone powerful to torture children?
***** June ended with about 700 protests for the kids in cages. Family’s Belong Together marches were overflowing in the heat with inspiring messages and a lot of heart. I was so proud to be there.
***** New York has sued the federal government over zero tolerance.**The U.S. has withdrawn from the UN human rights body. Many do agree with this one for they feel there is not equal punishment for nations when it comes to human rights.** A lawsuit was filed on April 23 alleging kids were held down and injected to render them helpless and keep them calm.**It seems that we should leave the immigrants alone and enforce swift, harsh penalties for those who hire undocumented workers. These employees aren’t paying their fair share on these employees.**The Pentagon has been asked to prepare housing for 20,000 immigrants.** I mean, this is not a simple subject but basically if you come in illegally, you go back. If you seek asylum, you should not be separated from your child or be in detention. More judges would help get this backlog caught up and ankle bracelets had seemed to be helping the situation. Take some of this ‘traveling to Mar a Lago $’ and hire more judges. And let’s help stabilize these regimes so folks will feel safer in their own countries. Some are even saying they should abolish I.C.E.. Some of those speaking out with that thought are I.C.E. agents themselves. I.C.E. spokesperson James Schwab has been speaking out. He claims he resigned because although he was asked to spin for both administrations, the current administration asked him to outright lie. Thank you James! ** Immigrants add 63 billion to the economy.** A federal judge has declared the kids must be reunited with their parents in 30 days, for younger kids it is 14 days.** Justin Trudeau tells refugees they are welcome in Canada.
***** Ok.. Read the next item before this one!!!... So Stuttering John AKA John Melendez has a podcast and he claims he called air force one and he got thru. He pretended to be Sen Bob Menendez and Trump told him he would have a Supreme Court pick in 2 weeks. While people wondered if this was true, Trump announced he would have his pick on July 9.
***** The Supreme Court upheld the travel ban including Venezuela, North Korea, Syria, Iran, Somalia and Libya. They (5-4) claim it is not a Muslim ban and allows for them to get off the list. This reverses the lower court’s rulings but at least it is the third incarnation as the first two were struck down. Even though the Supreme court said the President has the authority it did put it somewhat in check. Still wrong. 0 people have been killed in our country by a person from one of these countries.** The Supreme Court also tells us you don’t have to pay your union dues. ** Justice Kennedy is set to retire. Trump’s private banker at Deutsche bank for 12 years is Justice Kennedy’s son. JS
***** The country gets more liberal and the power in the country gets more conservative. WTF?** Rod Rosenstein seemed very confident in his questioning this week. This is good news for the country!
***** Sean Spicer is putting together a talk show.
***** The Trump administration is backing insurance companies to eliminate the pre- existing condition protection.
***** The 2019 Hollywood walk of fame will add Robert DeNiro, Anne Hathaway, Michael Buble, Tyler Perry and the trio of Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton.
***** Sara Netanyahu has been indicted on fraud charges.
***** Take a listen to the Ear hustle podcast and get the dirt inside prison.
***** Studied show that 97% of rapists never go to jail.
***** Women can drive in Saudi Arabia but arrests are up for women who protest there.
***** Jerry Springer is finally done with his show.
***** The republicans govern without shame. The democrats shame without governing. –Bill Maher
***** From what I see it seems that America to the Conservatives means guns and Christianity should be included in our governments and our schools. They seem to like everyone to take care of themselves financially except in extreme cases and outsiders should not be a part of this country. America to the liberals seems like the same rights for all like health care, ruling our own bodies and that love is love. They believe in high taxes and programs to help others.
***** Jeff Sessions of the United Methodist church has been charged under church law with violating paragraph 270.3: child abuse, immorality, racial discrimination and dissemination of doctrines contrary to the standards of doctrine of the United Methodist church. In the 50 years of the church as a denomination, no case can be found that has gotten this far.
***** It seems that there was always a bit of a separation between Fox news and the rest of the company. This latest border mess has crumbled that particular wall. Artists who have at one time or another worked for Fox Studios are speaking out. Modern Family creator Steve Levitan, director Payl Fieg and Seth Mcfarlane are among them.
***** If we don’t make peace with our wounds, we’ll be tempted to despise the wounded. – Father Gregory Boyle
***** No one is illegal on stolen land. Thanks Kim
***** Trump is not much on tradition. The man cancels the congressional picnic for lack of time but is gung ho for rallies and fund raisers .A scrawl on Fox news dressed down CNN and MSNBC for not airing the latest Trump rally. Who the fuck wants to see that nightmare?
***** Peter Fonda’s emotions got the better of him and he tweeted: WE SHOULD RIP BARRON FROM HIS MOTHERS ARMS AND PUT HIM IN A CAGE WITH A PEDOPHILE AND SEE IF HIS MOTHER WILL STAND UP AGAINST THE GIANT ASSHOLE. He deleted it but the damage was done. He apologized to the family.**Sarah Sanders was asked to leave a restaurant** Maxine Waters is asking people to call out Trump workers when they see them. This is getting ridic but I think the right thinking people of this country are feeling trapped and desperate. Civility is hard keep in check when our country is being taken over by racists, thieves and bullies. We must try to do this right though. We must get this right!
***** Scary Clown 45 claims that crime in Germany is so high, perhaps because of the refugees? In fact, crime is at a 30 year low? Similarly, a report commissioned by Scary’s own administration shows how much immigrants put into our economy but since the numbers were good, they buried that report.** A story claimed that WH staffers show the President only what he wants to see and that John Kelly tells people to just let him keep going as he is and if it leads to impeachment then our country will be through this horrific time.** His rallies and speeches get crazier if that is possible. Does he travel with an audience?** Trump claims that the Dems want immigrants because they see them as potential voters. Genius, years of red tape and possibly letting gang members (his words) in just for a vote! ** He will say anything to divert attention from himself and his cohorts using this country as their personal piggy bank and taking our rights away.** The UN has declared that the policy of separating children from parents at the border, “may amount to torture.”
***** White house.gov has an agenda for a complete reorganizing of the Federal government full of privatization, major cuts and consolidated power.
***** I-95 in Maine has been getting shut down so border patrol can check your citizenship. WTF?
***** OK.. This is a very unimportant note and I try to never watch commercials but I love the new Progressive ad where the dude is turning into his dad. So cute!
***** I wish that there was a little more backbone on the Sunday morn political shows. I mean the weekend of the big outrage at the border, there were big Trump loving infomercials, why are Bannon and Kelly Ann even invited on these shows? I have no earthly idea how anyone could have an ounce of respect for any of them.
***** A NY Times story finds that Scary clown 45’s prison cutbacks have been so severe that teachers, secretaries and nurses have had to act as prison guards. ** Economists estimate that Iowa soybean farmers alone could lose up to $624,000,000 as a result of the tariffs. **Harley Davidson has moved some of their work to Bangkok because of the trade war.
***** Thank you James Corden for the Carpool Karaoke with Paul McCartney. It is the first time in a while that I let go of all the worry over this country et al and really got engrossed in something sweet and fun.
***** Disabled vets are being docked on their disability checks for an insurance they were forced into that they and their families can’t even redeem.
***** Kevin Vernardo has started his own circus.
***** Vince Vaughn was arrested June 19 for DUI and resisting arrest.
***** The BET awards winners include D J Khaled, Black Panther, Migos and Sza. Best dressed to me were Meek Mill, Remy Ma, Trevor Jackson, Storm Reid and Janelle Monae.
***** Mystery Race day theatre with Michael Waltrip????
***** John Legend tweeted a Fuck You to Paul Ryan!
***** The electoral college must go!
***** March 2019: Tim Burton will bring us Dumbo with Michael Keaton, Colin Farrell, Alan Arkin and Danny Devito.
***** Stan Lee has gotten a restraining order against his business manager claiming elder abuse.
***** A 94 year old Elgin woman put up a large sign in her yard that read ’Impeach Trump now!’ The city told her that it exceeded the size limit for signs in the city ordinance. She put up a smaller sign claiming that she just wants to draw attention to his foreign policy, trade policy and domestic policy. The woman, Myra Becker said that he’s a disaster. “I’m on a walker and there are all the things I can’t do but I can put up a sign.
***** Larry Kudlow had a heart attack.
***** The new season of Comedians in cars getting coffee includes Dave Chapelle, Alec Baldwin, Dana Carvey, Ellen DeGeneres, Zach Galifianakis, Jerry Lewis, Kate McKinnin, Tracy Morgan, Hassan Minaj, John Mulaney and Brian Regan.
***** So John Cena is really a pig! There was a clip of the man telling his girlfriend that he would make the sacrifice of giving her a child. This was a regular clip from a show she does so at least he owns his pig status, I guess. Sure, it is a ‘reality’ show that is supposedly all scripted but I don’t think that would matter to me if I was that kid. I guess all their money will help. Good luck kid!
***** Boundaries will star Christopher Plummer, Peter Fonda and Vera Farmiga.
***** Mike Pence was invited to the big gay dance party in Ohio that was in the street just outside his hotel.
***** Brockmire continues to make me laugh out loud. A great line: Orange juice is a glass of vodka wasted. How will sobriety play in the next season?
***** Trump staffers seem to have trouble unwinding and having personal lives since most of D.C. wants nothing to do with them. Recently it was revealed that they have found a bar called Rebellion where they feel welcome. Oh what clever clogs. I imagine that since this has been revealed , it won’t be fun there for long.
***** Better Call Saul season 4 will have a mysterious Breaking Bad character that was never seen named Lalo. A couple more characters will be introduced when the show returns August 6.
***** The Traverse city film fest will honor Jane Fonda with Lifetime achievement.
***** Acura is sure using a lot of vintage Stones in their advertising as of late.** BTW The Stones have a new boxed set of all their original material albums from 1971 on. It is all cleaned up and lookin’ pretty!!
***** The new Whtney doc about Whitney Houston has some honest revelations . In a posthumous Me Too moment, it is revealed that she was molested by her cousin Dee Dee Warwick.
***** Maryland was home to the latest shooting. The AP has declared they will help the Capital Gazette continue to publish until they get back on their feet. Now that is what this country should be about.
***** The table in the Vietnamese noodle shop where Obama and Bourdain dined has been put under glass. Fans have come to the shop to pay tribute.
***** Mia Farrow proposes we move to saying ‘succumbed’ to suicide instead of ‘committed’ suicide because depression is an illness. The legacy of suicide is cruel enough for all involved. The national suicide prevention hotline number is 1-800-273-8255.
***** R.I.P. Glenn Snoddy, Alan Bean, Joe Jackson, Ella Brennan, Dwight Clark, Kate Spade, Alan O’Neill, Danny Kirwan, Eunice Gayson, Murray Frumson, Koko, Jackson Odell, Gena Turgel, Jerry Maren (last of the lollipop guild) , DJ Fontana, Neal Boyd, Matt ‘guitar’ Murphy, Nick Knox, Jimmy Wopo, Charles Krauthammer, Vinnie Paul, Richard Harrison, Richard Valeriani, victims of the Maryland newspaper shooting, Anthony Bourdain, Steve Soto, Willie Lee Rose, Richard Allan Greenberg and Eva Kirchgessner.
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