#I am both a Steve and Jonathan apologist
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xirayn · 1 year ago
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The photo scene is largely misconstrued by the fandom. Nancy is not naked, she has her bra on and no pictures are taken of her and Steve having sex. Does that excuse it? Absolutely not. Jonathan is 16 in the 1980s, however, and the culture around consent was extremely different than it is today.
As Steve is the trope of the 80's jock bully turned on it's head, Jonathan is the trope of the outcast/loser. In 80s media, this character was supposed to be cheered for using cunning or coercion to circumvent the social hotness hierarchy. Getting a picture of a girl's back in her bra is nothing compared to using a ladder to watch a half-naked pillow fight (Animal House), drilling a hole in a wall to watch girls shower in the locker room (Porky's), looking up a girls skirt and possibly touching her inapprppriately (The Breakfast Club), or any of the other 'boys will be boys shennanigans' from almost any 80s teen movie. The fact Jonathan does recognize that he shouldn't have taken that picture and apologizes (and he does even if Nancy glosses over it) is what turns the trope on it's head.
And it continues with all of the situations Jonathan could have taken advantage of Nancy's emotional or inebriated state. If Stranger Things was written in the 80s, he would have with full approval expected from the audience.
Steve is older than Jonathan. If he is 'just a teenage boy', then so is Jonathan.
okay so I reblogged a post from @thestobingirlie a while ago but I wanted to dive a little more into this so basically
I👏DON'T👏CARE👏 how poor Jonathan is. taking naked photos of your classmates without their knowledge or consent is fucking weird and creepy and it baffles me that people still defend him on this
"he was looking for Will-" in Steve Harrington's backyard??
"Steve didn't have to break the camera tho-" let's keep in mind that not only did Jonathan violate Nancy's privacy but also Steve's. plus at this stage, Steve is like 16, so yeah, he broke the camera. as he should. some guy he barely knows has photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. that's weird dude.
i feel like people really overstate how much of a dick Steve was in season 1. honestly imo for every shitty thing he did there was a somewhat reasonable explanation behind it. he was literally just a 16 year old kid with absent parents and who was heavily influenced by the people he surrounded himself with but that's a WHOLE other thing we're not gonna get into rn
ALSO pls correct me if I'm wrong but did Jonathan ever even apologise?? then he and Nancy just get together WHILE SHE'S👏STILL👏DATING👏STEVE👏 and they both act like he was the problem the entire time????
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sweeter-innocence-fics · 1 year ago
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She Has No Idea (That I’m Even Here) - Chapter Three
Pairings: Steve Harrington x reader, one-sided Billy Hargrove x reader, side Nancy Wheeler x Robin Buckley
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Work Summary:
Steve Harrington x reader Summer Camp AU with a side order of Billy Hargrove being a dick.
Chapters: 1 2 3 4
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 5963
Read on AO3.
Masterlists.
Taglist: @mrs-kai-anderson @ang3l1te @missryerye @nix-rose @fandom-princess-forevermore
Taglist info
Previous Chapter
Notes:
sorry this is late, meant to upload this on wednesday but it ended up being longer than anticipated so that just didn't happen. I'm gonna still aim for this wednesday for the final chapter but we'll see
warnings for everybody pining, a lot of conversations, billy being billy, trauma, panic attacks, anxiety around food, mentions of homophobia, reader being oblivious, tension with nancy, reader is a big steve apologist (as am i)
---
More than anything, your day off had given you a chance to recharge your social batteries. It was getting dark by the time you walked back to your cabin.
As promised, Eddie had brought you dinner too, although you didn’t end up talking about boys. Instead you talked about camp: the things you liked about it, the things you didn’t like, the kids, the other counsellors, the cabins. Eddie, as it turned out, despite his rough exterior, was a sweetheart.
That evening, when you opened the door to your cabin, you found your three cabinmates waiting for you. Chrissy was sat by the mirror, brushing her hair; Robin was sat cross-legged on Nancy’s bed; and Nancy was perched on the end of it, a book open but clearly unread in her lap.
“Steve was looking for you,” Chrissy burst out before you’d even shut the door behind you. You felt a flutter in your chest. Your eyes met hers in the mirror.
“He was? Did he say what he wanted?” She shook her head. You shrugged. “He probably just wants his hoody back. I’ll be right back.”
Technically, you weren’t supposed to be wandering the grounds this later, but you knew that no one was going to discipline you for that. In any case, the staff generally turned a blind eye to counsellors hanging out in each other’s cabins after dark.
Steve’s cabin, which he shared with Eddie, Jonathan and Billy, was only two down from yours. Personally, you weren’t sure how he could stand rooming with both the guy his ex dumped him for, and Billy Hargrove. You were forever grateful that your roomies were all lovely people.
Nerves were starting to creep in as you made your way down the winding path. You spurred yourself on by telling yourself that it would be Eddie who opened the door. He was the only person in that cabin who didn’t make you nervous. That was the only way you could bring yourself to knock.
Your stomach plummeted when the door opened to reveal a shirtless Billy Hargrove, towel slung over his shoulder, hair wet from a shower. At least he was wearing sweatpants. You were trying not to stare. You could smell his deodorant and shampoo.
It was no secret that Billy was hot. He was unbearably aware of his own attractiveness. But even if he did like you, as Eddie had suggested, you wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole.
You cleared your throat awkwardly. “Is Steve here?”
Billy’s face fell. He took a step back away from the door and called over his shoulder, “Harrington! It’s for you.” He then retreated back into the cabin, leaving you standing awkwardly in the doorway. You didn’t want to intrude on the guys’ personal space, so you hung there in the entryway, not looking inside.
A moment later, Steve appeared. His hair was also wet, but he was fully dressed in a shirt and jeans. Your eyes darted to where his sleeves were pushed up, revealing his forearms.
“Oh, hey,” he said when he realised that the person here to see him was you. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Chrissy told me. I guess you want this back?” You held out his hoody.
“Oh.” He surveyed you for a moment, eyes darting down to your bare arms. “Aren’t you cold?”
You shrugged. “A little. But I’ll back inside soon.”
“Hold onto it for now. I was hoping we could go for a walk?”
“… Oh?”
“You know. Just to talk for a bit?” Steve seemed strangely nervous. It was an odd look on him.
“Sure. I’d like that.” You slipped Steve’s hoody back on over your shoulders while you waited for him to put his shoes on.
When he straightened up, he grinned at you. “It suits you,” he said, triggering another little flutter in your stomach.
“Thanks,” you said, looking away as if he might overhear the thumping of your heart.
The two of you wound your way into the woods, mostly in silence. The canopy of trees above you was sparse enough for the full moon to light your way.
You had no idea where you were going, but Steve seemed to, so you followed close behind him, until the two of you suddenly stepped out into a small clearing. In the middle of it was a huge stump of some ancient tree that must’ve been cut down at some point.
Steve sat down on it and patted the space beside him. The stump was easily big enough to seat both of you, so you perched on it, leaving a respectable amount of space between you.
From here, you could see the moon very clearly above you. It was cloudless night, and the sky was beautiful.
“You’re really brave, you know that?” said Steve. You looked back at him. While you’d been staring at the sky, he’d been watching you. The thought made your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “And I see how you are with the kids. You’re smart and kind and you always roll with the punches. That’s what I like about you. Nobody keeps you down.”
“Thank you?” Those certainly sounded like compliments, but you’d spent too many years having thinly veiled insults hurled at you to not be a little suspicious.
“That’s- I mean-” Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m saying this all wrong. I wanted to talk to you because I think that you think you’re not cool.”
Your stomach jolted. This was not where you expected this conversation to go.
“I don’t want dipshits like Billy Hargrove to ever make you feel like you’re not cool. You deserve to know that you’re awesome, and that other people think you’re awesome.”
“Billy’s an idiot. I don’t let the shit he says get to me,” you said. It was only half a lie at this point.
“Well… Good.” Steve didn’t look convinced. “But this isn’t about him. This is about you. I just want to know that you understand how incredible you are.”
Your face felt very hot. You felt as though he’d given you an electric shock straight to your stomach.
“… Thanks.” You took a deep breath. “I think you’re pretty incredible too.” Steve chuckled, revealing his teeth. “I mean it. You’re not… the way you used to be, you know?” He frowned a little at that, and your stomach gave an unpleasant lurch. “I mean- Not that-”
“No, I know. I was an asshole in high school.” He was smiling again, but his smile was less bright.
You exhaled. “I mean, I wouldn’t put it that way, but… You’re kinder now. And I’ve seen how good you are with the kids. I never thought I’d see ‘King Steve’ in a place like this.”
“There is no ‘King Steve’,” he said. “It’s just me.”
“Well, I like ‘just you’.”
His lips quirked up in a half-smile. “You know, I’m starting to like me too.”
Steve’s eyes danced over your face. His gaze was so intense that you had to look away, a desperate, unrequited desire burning inside you. You wanted him so bad that it almost hurt.
“We should probably get back,” you said, looking at the trees. “I haven’t spoken to the girls all day. They’ll probably wanna catch up.”
“…Right.” Steve stood up from the stump and held out his hand to you. You let him help you to your feet, and then dropped his hand.
The two of you walked mostly in silence back through the woods. There was a thrumming in your chest, and the strange sense that you were doing this all wrong. You had no idea what you were supposed to be doing.
When you reached the point where the paths split, you expected Steve to go towards his cabin, but instead, he stayed by your side until you got to the front door of yours.
“Thanks for the walk,” you said, feeling awkward. “It was good to talk about… stuff. You’re sweet.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked, his hand lightly brushing your arm. He was standing close to you now. Your stomach swooped again, and for a moment, you really thought he was about to kiss you. Instead, he slung a friendly arm over your shoulder and pulled you into a half hug.
This close, you could smell his skin, his shampoo, his aftershave. You hugged him back as casually as you could while feeling as though you were on fire.
He pulled back and shot you another winning smile. “Sleep well.”
“You too.”
It was dark in the cabin when you stepped inside. You let the door swing shut behind you and leant against it, trying to still your racing heart. It was only now, with the cabin door closed behind you, that you realised you were still wearing his hoody.
*
You had forgotten that you were scheduled to do kayaking the next afternoon. Hopper seemed to have forgotten too, but he called you over for a chat during lunch.
“If you want to skip it, I’ll find someone to trade places with you,” he said. “Hell, if I can’t find anyone, I’ll cover your spot. You don’t have to go back on the water unless you want to.”
“It’s fine,” you said quickly. “If I don’t do it now, it’ll only get harder, right? Face my fears and everything.”
“Alright. But if at any point, you run into any trouble, you can come find me, okay?”
“Thanks, Hop.”
“Come see me afterwards so we can go through the schedules, and make sure everything works for you, alright?”
“Alright.”
As you went over to the counter to get your food, you saw Steve walking into the cafeteria. Hopper stopped him, put a hand on his shoulder, and said something you couldn’t hear. Steve nodded. Hopper clapped him on the back and then left the room.
You could only assume that they had been talking about you. Steve was your partner for kayaking. In truth, that was a large part of the reason you hadn’t opted out of it, even though the idea of going out on the river made you nervous.
Although you were normally careful with the amount of food you had at the cafeteria, for fear of being judged or scolded, this morning you loaded up your tray. The need for delicious, filling food won out over your anxiety about it.
You sat down between Eddie and Nancy with your tray of food. Eddie grinned at you knowingly. You supposed he must know about you and Steve going for a walk last night. You wondered what Steve had told him, if anything.
Before you could speak, Nancy said, “You’re kayaking after this, right?”  
You nodded, and Eddie’s jaw dropped. “Really? Hop’s gonna make you do that after what happened?”
“He’s not making me,” you said. “I chose to. I like kayaking.”
At that moment, Steve set his tray down opposite you and sat down. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” you said back, trying not to smile too much.
“You ready for this afternoon? The river looks pretty calm. Besides, it’s got nothing on you, right?”
“Right.”
Eddie gave you a sideways look. “Oh, Harrington, you’re kayaking too?”
“Sure am.” He took a bite of his scrambled eggs. While Steve wasn’t looking, Eddie winked at you. You steadfastly ignored him.
“Right. Cool. Well, I’ve gotta go set up for music class. I hope you crazy kids have fun.” He tried to ruffle Steve’s hair, but Steve grabbed his wrist.
“Don’t you dare,” he warned. He held on for a moment, just so Eddie knew he was serious, and then released him.
“Alright, alright.” Eddie held his hands up in surrender. “Wouldn’t dream of touching The Hair. Sayonara.” He gave Steve a little salute as he walked away.
“I’ve gotta go too, actually,” said Nancy. “I’ll see you at dinner.” And with that, she left you and Steve alone.
“Why’s everyone is such a rush today?” Steve muttered. You had a couple ideas as to why. He cleared his throat. “How are you feeling this morning?”
Anxious. “I’m okay. You?”
“Been better. Billy’s got a real attitude right now. He’s been on my ass since last night, trying to piss me off.”
“Do you know why?” you asked nervously.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought that maybe a near death experience might’ve mellowed him out a little, but clearly not.”
“He’s being nicer to me.”
“Huh. I guess you are the one who saved him.”
“You helped.”
“Barely.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to crawl out of the water if it wasn’t for you.”
“You would’ve found a way.”
“Maybe… but I just wanted to say thanks. I don’t think I said that at the time.”
“You were a little busy,” he said. He gave you a lopsided smile.
“Well, thank you. For everything. Oh! That reminds me! I forgot to give you your hoody back.”
He waved a hand dismissively. “It’s cool. You can hold onto it for now. It’s not like I need it.”
“Well, thank you for that too.”
“You done eating?” he asked, although it was obvious you were.
“Uh-huh.”
“Alright.” He stood up, taking both your tray and his to the rack. You watched him go feeling that now-familiar flutter. “You ready?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Some of the kids were already waiting for you when you reached the meeting spot. As you waited for stragglers, you sat on the edge of a large rock, watching Steve chat with Dustin Henderson.
The rapport he had with Dustin was pretty adorable. You were so enraptured that you didn’t notice Erica Sinclair sitting down beside you.
“You’re staring again,” she said quietly. You jumped, turning to face her. Her eyes were alight with mischief.
“Oh look, everyone’s here now,” you said. “Alright everyone, get into groups of threes,” you called out to the group. “Grab a life jacket and one kayak between three.”
Between the nine of you, you managed to carry the three kayaks down to the river’s edge.
“Life jackets on before we get on the water. I’m looking at you, Henderson,” said Steve sternly. Dustin gave him a ‘who, me?’ face.
“How’s about we make this interesting?” said Erica.
Steve gave a startled smile. “How so?”
“Winners gets the losers’ desserts.”
“Well…” Steve turned to rest of the group. “What do you think, guys?”
“You’re on!” said Dustin.
You could see that he was about to gesture Steve over to follow him, but Erica got there first. “Nuh-uh-uh, I want Steve on my team.”
“No fair,” whined Dustin, but while he may have been stubborn, he had nothing on Erica.
In the end, Steve shared a kayak with Max and Erica, while you shared with Dustin and Lucas. Mike, Will and Eleven had their own kayak.
While having Steve on the team was certainly an advantage, you didn’t want to count anyone out. Erica was the youngest and the smallest person in the group, but she had an unmatched ferocity.
Lucas wasn’t as tall as Steve, but he was athletic too. More importantly, the idea of losing to his little sister was absolutely untenable for him. You doubted you and Dustin would contribute much, except for the fact that Dustin hated losing, so you knew he would paddle for his life.
Mike, Will and El were all fairly skinny, so their kayak would be the lightest, and you couldn’t count out the advantage that El provided. You didn’t know how she did it, but she always seemed to find herself on the winning team. There was something about that girl.
As the three kayaks lined up at the starting line, Erica screamed, “Eat my dust, Lucas!” and then you were off.
“What dust? We’re in a river!” Lucas shouted back.
“Nice comeback, loser.”
You paddled hard, but you weren’t as invested in this as the rest of the group. You hardly ever ate the dessert here anyway. Still, you didn’t want to let your team down.
The lead switched between your boat and Steve’s multiple times. Mike, Will and El sometimes caught up, but never quite overtook.
Most of the journey was fairly smooth, with Steve having to rein in Erica when her trashtalk got a bit too personal. Erica screamed as the boat hit the rapids, but it was a fun sort of scream. It was exhilarating, in actual fact. You were doing fine.
That was, until you saw the shape of rocks ahead of you, marking the end of the rapids. The same rocks that Billy had slammed into. You remembered the way his body had gone limp in your arms.
“Y/N! What are you doing?” shouted Dustin. He had taken on the role of leader for this trip.
Your hands trembled as you tried to put your paddle back in the water, but the sight of it rushing beneath you made you feel dizzy.
“Y/N?” Dustin’s voice was much quieter this time. You could hear his concern. “What’s wrong?”
“We’ve just got to get over this last bit,” said Lucas, all trace of competitive spirit evaporated. “We got this.” Your boat was ahead of the others for now, but you knew that wasn’t what he was talking about. This was nearly over.
You closed your eyes, gripping your paddle tight as the kayak went over the last bit of rapids. There didn’t seem to be enough oxygen in every breath you took. You felt the kayak began to slow as the river grew calmer.
“Y/N?” It was Lucas this time. You felt his hand on your shoulder but you still didn’t open your eyes.
“Holy shit,” said Dustin as a loud splashing went straight past you. “Paddle, paddle!” But Lucas evidently wasn’t listening to him.
When you opened your eyes, it was because your boat had hit the edge of the shore that was your finish line. You were in the third place.
Mike, Will and El had won, with Steve’s team a close second. Erica looked very bitter about it, but at least she’d beaten her brother.
“Hey, are you okay?” asked Steve. You nodded jerkily, afraid that if you opened your mouth, you might start crying. “Here, let me help you.” He gave you his hand as you clambered out of the boat.
As soon as you were on dry land, your knees went out from under you. Steve caught you around the waist before you could fall. You were limp in his arms, like a ragdoll.
“What’s wrong? Was it the river? Was it-” The sound of his voice seemed to fade away. With his help, you sat down on the ground. The ground was dusty here, but thankfully not muddy. “You did a good job, okay? I’m gonna get the kids to load the kayaks into the minivan and then we’ll ride back to the camp.”
You nodded. The walk from here to the camp was perfectly fine, if you weren’t carrying kayaks. The minivan was already waiting for you here. Feeling deadened, you watched as the kids lifted the kayaks into the back of the minivan.
Steve was stern with them, but kind, ushering them all to put on their seatbelts before he came back to you.
Normally, you knew that when Steve was driving, Dustin would try and wangle the front passenger seat, but not today. Today, he had dutifully sat in the back between Lucas and Erica.
Feeling a little more stable on your feet, you managed to get into the passenger seat yourself and buckle your seatbelt.
The ride back was quiet. The winning team weren’t exactly ones to gloat. Erica was clearly sulking, but she said nothing, which is how you knew that she knew this was serious.
Usually, there was at least one kid who would try to get out of the unpleasant job of re-racking the kayaks, but not today. Today, they all worked together without complaint.
So maybe there were some advantages to having a panic attack while you were supposed to be watching them. Maybe.
*
After reassuring Hop that you were fine to continue working at camp, you headed back to your cabin. Luckily, the other girls weren’t back yet, so you had a little time to decompress and shower.
When you emerged from the bathroom, Nancy and Robin were sitting on Nancy’s bed. They both sat up a little straighter when you walked in.  
“Hey,” said Nancy sympathetically, and her tone told you that she knew what had happened. “Are you okay? I heard you had a rough time on the river.”
“I’m okay. It was just a…” You cast your eyes around, as if the answer were in the room somewhere. “Wobble. But I’m feeling better now. I’m not going out on the river again though. I just went through the schedules with Hopper. Who told you?”
“Mike.”
You swallowed. “Right.” 
By dinnertime, everyone seemed to have heard about your freak out. The kids in your group had good hearts, but some of them definitely couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Word travelled fast at camp. You tried to ignore the way people were staring at you as collected your food.
On your way to your table, you stopped off to slide your dessert onto El’s plate. You could see that Mike and Will both had two desserts, while Lucas and Dustin had none, and were looking a bit sour about it. You felt a little guilty about that.
“You don’t have to,” said El, but you held up a hand.
“You won, fair and square. I’m not all that hungry, anyway.” That part wasn’t true. But the thought of eating dessert while everyone was staring at you made you feel a little sick. You might sneak out to the vending machine later to get a snack if you were still hungry.
Steve, Eddie and Jonathan were sat at your normal table. You slid into the seat next to Steve, trying to seem casual about it. Behind Steve’s back, the two other boys exchanged a look.
“How are you feeling?” asked Steve.
“I’m doing okay, I’m…” Your voice trailed off as he picked up the dessert from his tray and placed it onto yours. “You don’t have to-”
“It’s yours. By all rights, you guys should’ve won. Or beat us, at least.”
“But-”
“Don’t bother arguing with me. You’re not going to convince me to take it back.”
“… Thanks, Steve.”
Nancy and Robin joined your table then. You knew they’d spent the afternoon doing a craft session together. They’d been dawdling while you got ready for dinner, so you’d left without them.
You stayed quiet while the rest of your table devolved into conversations. In all honesty, you were exhausted. All you wanted to eat your dinner and collapse into bed.
Something nudged your foot, and you looked up to see Eddie trying to catch your eye. Once you looked at him, he quirked an eyebrow at you, as if to ask if you were okay. You nodded, forcing a half-smile.
He didn’t look convinced, so, keeping your voice low, you said, “I’m just tired.” He nudged your foot again with his, this time in a clear attempt to comfort you. “Thanks.”
The dessert was good. As it turned out, the little burst of sugar was precisely what you needed. When your plates were empty, Steve turned to you.
“Are you done with these?” he asked, and when you nodded, he picked up your tray in one hand and his own in the other and took them over to the rack of dirty trays.
You turned to find Nancy staring at you. Both of her eyebrows were raised. You quickly looked away.
As you returned to your cabin, you avoided her eyes. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything until you were all safely in the cabin with the door closed behind you.
“Did something happen with you and Steve?” she asked.
“I’ve already told you everything there is to know.” You busied yourself by finding your pyjamas. “He’s just being nice to me because of what happened at the river. He’s a nice person.”
Nancy made a dismissive noise. “Not that nice.”
You felt a prickle of anger across the back of your neck. “He’s not the same as he was when you were dating him. He’s grown up a lot.”
“Is that what this is about? You know that I don’t mind if you go out with him. You have my blessing.”
You bit back a comment about how you didn’t need her blessing, and instead said, “That’s not what this is about. I just think that he’s a better person than he used to be, and you shouldn’t judge him for what he was like as a teenager.”
“Right,” said Nancy, unconvinced.
You were growing pretty tired of your supposed love life being analysed by every person around you. Ignoring Nancy, you went over and sat on the chair by the mirror, which was closest to Chrissy’s bed.
“What about you, Chris?” you asked. “How’s it going with Jason?”
She frowned. “Fine,” she said, unconvincingly. You realised you may have inadvertently stepped into something.
Attention now diverted away from you, Nancy said, “Really? Doesn’t sound all that fine.” Chrissy’s lower lip wobbled, and you felt your stomach lurch with guilt.  
“I guess…” Her eyes were suddenly very shiny. “I guess not fine, actually?” A single tear escaped the barricade of her eyelids, and then tears were streaming down her cheeks. “Fuck.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Robin, coming to sit on Chrissy’s bed beside her. When she put an arm around Chrissy’s shoulder, she leant into it.
“I guess I just… I feel like Jason doesn’t really care about me, you know? I feel like I’m just some kind of trophy to him. He’s always trying to show me off to his friends, but whenever I’m having a bad day, he doesn’t want to hear it.”
“That sucks, Chris. I’m sorry he’s treating you that way,” you said.
Nancy approached tentatively, sitting herself down on Chrissy’s other side, and took a deep breath, so you knew she was about to say something controversial.
“Chrissy,” she said, handing her a tissue. “You shouldn’t let any boy make you feel that way. You deserve someone who treats you right. And Jason is an idiot if he doesn’t appreciate you. You’re sweet and smart and beautiful.”
Chrissy wiped her eyes. “Thanks.” Robin was watching Nancy intently, an unreadable expression on her face. As she continued to comfort Chrissy and reassure her that she was too good for Jason, Robin stood up.
You were focused on Chrissy, but a moment later, you heard the cabin door shut quietly, and turned to find Robin gone. You stood up and followed her.
It was dark outside, but you could see her silhouette as she walked into the trees. You stayed close, not sure if you should announce yourself. The choice soon became clear, because once you’d stepped through into the trees, you couldn’t see her anymore.
You called out, “Robin?” There was a rustling of leaves, which abruptly stopped when you spoke. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” came her reply, a tremulous thing that made you want to put your arms around her.
“You wanna talk?”
“… Alright.”
She moved closer to you, and you reached for her hand. She let you take it. Silently, you led her through the trees, trying to remember exactly the way Steve had taken you the night before.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, you burst into the clearing with the big stump. Not letting go of her hand, you went and sat on it. She sat down beside you stiffly.
“What’s up?” you asked as soon as you were settled. You couldn’t make out her features in the dark, but her posture slumped.
“Nothing, I just…” She took a deep breath. “I’m kinda sick of all this boy talk, you know?”
“I know. I am too.”
“No, I mean…” She let out a frustrated sigh. “I have nothing to contribute. I never know what to say.” You didn’t answer her. You had no idea what to say either. “If I tell you something, do you promise you won’t ever tell a soul?”
“Of course.”
She pressed her palms to her eyes, steeling herself. “I don’t like guys. I like girls. I’m a lesbian.”
“Oh.” Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. The fact she’d never had a boyfriend, despite being very pretty. Her standoffishness while the rest of you talked about your love lives. The way she looked at Nancy.
Your mind flashed back to Eddie and his confession. What was it about you that made people want to come out to you? Whatever it was, you were glad that your friends trusted you.
“Thank you for telling me,” you said. “It must’ve been awkward for you, hearing us all talk about boys and stuff.”
“It’s fine, really. Generally, I don’t mind, but…”
Tonight, she had left before Nancy could say anything. You wondered if she was worried what Nancy might say. That Nancy had a crush on a boy, or her and Jonathan were getting back together, or something.
“You know…” you said slowly, “Nancy hasn’t had a boyfriend in a long time. Maybe she-”
“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t say it,” she said firmly. “I know you’re trying to cheer me up, but don’t get my hopes up. If I tell her-” She took a hitching, shuddering breath. “If I tell her, I could screw everything up. And become a social pariah.”
“Nancy wouldn’t tell anyone if you asked her not to.”
“Maybe, but…”
The moon came out from behind a cloud, and you could finally make out the expression on her face. She wasn’t crying, but her cheeks were red and her eyes were shiny. You knocked your knee against hers.
“It’s scary, right? Telling someone you like them?”
“I wouldn’t know,” she said. “I’ve never done it.”
“Me neither. Still. I know it’s scary. And it hurts to like someone who you think won’t ever like you back. But you never know.” You remembered Eddie telling you that he thought Steve liked you. It seemed so ridiculous, but with every little kind gesture, it was starting to seem less impossible. “Whatever happens, I’m here for you, okay?”
“… Thanks. We should probably head back before Nance and Chrissy get worried.”
“Right.”
As you wound your way back to your cabin, you heard voices from up ahead. You and Robin held onto each other, trying not to trip over anything in the darkness. As you reached the edge of the trees, you realised it was Nancy speaking.
“I don’t know what your problem is but you need to leave her alone.”
“Relax, princess.” You jolted. It was Billy’s voice. “I just wanna talk to her about something. Nothing nefarious, I promise.”
“Well, she’s not here right now.”
You rounded the corner and found Nancy blocking the door, glaring up at Billy. They both turned to look at you, and a smile tugged at the corner of Billy’s lips. It was unnerving.
“Hey, can we talk?” he asked you. Robin’s grip on your arm tightened.
“Sure?” You squeezed Robin’s hand to let her know that it was okay, and detangled yourself from her. “About what?”
He glanced at Nancy and then at Robin. “Alone?”
“Okay?”
It seemed as though everyone wanted your attention lately. You followed him towards the cafeteria. He produced the cafeteria key, which he definitely wasn’t supposed to have, and let you both in.
“Are we gonna get in trouble for being here?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’ll take the fall anyway. There’s no way you’re getting in trouble for anything ever again, right?”
He didn’t switch the lights on, so you stood there under the dim glow of the emergency strip lights in the ceiling.
“What are we doing in here?”
“I just wanted to talk somewhere where no one can spy on us.”
“Okay? Who do you think is gonna spy on us?”
“It doesn’t matter. Can you just let me say what I’m trying to say?” There was an edge of irritation in his voice. You drew back instinctively, and his face fell. “Sorry. I’m just… Nervous.”
You said nothing, watching him.
“I wanted to talk to you yesterday, but then Munson was there, and I kinda clammed up. Really I’m just here to say thank you.”
“You already said that.” You leant back against the wall next to the door.
“I know. But it’s more than that. Even though I treated you like shit, you still didn’t hesitate to come save me. You just waded in and put your own life at risk to save mine. I don’t know a lot of people who’d do that.”
You disagreed. “I think most people would do that, if it came down to it. I think that most people are good when you give them the opportunity.”
He snorted, a hard, callous sound that almost made you flinch. “See, this is what I mean. You’re good. You’re a good person, so you expect other people to be as good as you. But they’re not. People are cruel and selfish and they’ll do anything to save their own skin.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“It is. Trust me.”
“I don’t want to believe that. What’s the point in any of this if people just suck and no one is worthy of second chances?”
Billy paused. There were a few seconds of silence, and then he said, “Do you think I’m worthy of a second chance?”
“I think you’re an asshole but you didn’t deserve to die.”
His tone remained deadly serious. “Yeah. I know. But that’s not what I asked. Do you think I deserve a second chance?”
You shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. “Of course. Why wouldn’t you?”
Billy moved so fast that even if the lights had been on, you were sure you wouldn’t have seen him coming. He crowded into your space, big, warm hand cupping your chin and tilting your face to look up at him.
He leant in and you could feel his breath ghosting over your lips. It was warm and minty and not unpleasant.
Even so, you shrank back. “Don’t.”
Billy froze. It was so quiet in the room that you would’ve sworn you could hear your heart thudding in your ears.
“I don’t- I don’t want… that,” you said shakily.
He released your chin and stepped back. You could see his anger in the set of his shoulders. You wondered if he was going to hit you. You knew some boys didn’t take rejection well, and it wasn’t unheard of for Billy to be violent.
Instead, with vitriol in his voice, he said, “I guess golden boy Harrington gets everything, huh?”
You had been just about ready to walk away, to turn around and leave him alone in the cafeteria, but his words ignited something deep inside you.
“This has nothing to do with Steve!” you snapped. You were surprised by the volume of your own voice. “You’ve been awful to me the entire time we’ve known each other! Why the fuck should I care just because you’ve decided you like me now?”
Billy’s eyes went wide, but you didn’t let up.
“I’m not a thing for you – or Steve, for that matter – to ‘get’. So stop acting like I’m some prize you can win to get one over on Steve.”
He looked as though he was going to say something, but you pushed past him, slamming the door of the cafeteria behind you as you went.
Next Chapter
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akajustmerry · 1 year ago
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we all know the duffers are misogynistic considering they wrote multiple cases of sexual harassment against nancy (by both jonathan and steve) as something forgiveable. but you cant act high and mighty when youre blaming a character of abuse for things that were caused by abuse? and praising a physically abusive parent in the show
i am sorry, are you joking???? do you seriously think people who are themselves abuse victims automatically gain a "get out of responsibility free" card if they victimise others?? jonathon byers' actions weren't caused by abuse, he's an abuse victim who should have fucking known better but chose to inflict harm on others. get your dishonest abuse apologist ass out of my inbox.
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