#I am aware of it but it's hard to turn those thoughts processes off

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

I've Got You Under My Skin 2

Warnings: non/dubcon, marital troubles, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Steve Rogers

Summary: your husband is a very demanding man.

Note: I can't help myself with the super soldiers.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

The doorbell rings and you flinch. You pop your head up as Steve keeps his heavy arm across you. You wriggle and check the time on the small clock on his side of the bed. 

"Shoot!" You struggle to break free of him. "I forgot!"

"Forgot," he turns onto his side, keeping his hand on your hip. "What's going on?"

"I invited the girls over for movie night!"

"Movie night?" He echoes.

"Yes," you move his hand off of you, your chest bouncing as you hop out of bed. "We rented Nosferatu! I'm too afraid to watch it alone so..."

"You coulda waited for me," he sits up and shakes out his matted hair.

"I know but... oh, Bucky's wife can't make it. She's working on her comic," you explain as you search for your bra. The doorbell goes again.

"You didn't tell me you were having them over."

"I forgot."

"But you planned it... you could've said something when I called the other day." He scolds.

You know how he is about the house. He's so overly cautious, he would've seen them on the security app anyhow. Plus, they're his friends as much as yours.

"It's just Wanda and Nat," you say. He stares at you unflinching. "I'm sorry, Stevie--"

"Don't Stevie me with those kitten eyes," he warns as he sits up and wags his finger. "I just... like to know."

"I know," you look at your toes. "I won't do it again."

"Mm," he hums, obviously not happy. You hurry to pull on a fresh dress, not creased or stained by his suddenness. You pull you a pair of panties and he sighs, "really?"

"Steve, the girls are here."

"So what?" He tilts his head and smirks, "kinda hot thinking of you hanging out with nothing underneath. Just waiting til they're gone so you can get back on me."

You give a bashful smile, "Stevie."

The doorbell rings several times in quick succession.

"Hurry up," he rolls his eyes. "Nat can never..."

He trails off and you hurry out, trying desperately to tame your mussed appearance. You flit down the stairs, your skirt letting the air flow over your pelvis. You shiver and hurry to the door, opening it up with a smile.

"There you are. We brought wine and you leave us out in the cold," Natasha snips and shoves the bottle at you.

"Sorry, Steve got back early."

"Ew, please, we don't need details," she snickers.

"Vis got back too," Wanda says. "But Tony kept him late. I swear sometimes I think I'm the other woman."

You shake your head and accept the wine.

"As usual, Bucky's not here and ruining it all," Nat sneers. "She'd come if he wasn't such a hard ass."

"I thought she was working," you frown.

"Oh, sweet child," she purrs. "Sometimes I think that's why he chose you, you are too trusting."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Wanda pinches your chin. "You're just precious."

You back up to let them in. You don't argue. You don't like conflict. Not at all. You don't know how Steve does it.

Yet, you're irked. Everyone treats you like a child. You know you're a bit younger than all of them, a bit less experienced, but you're not stupid.

"So, pizza?" Nat asks.

Usually, you'd say no. The grease makes your chest burn and Steve doesn't like all that processed cheese. Unfortunately you didn't have enough time to make the food you were planning on.

"You two go ahead and order. I'll get some snacks ready," you wave them into the living room.

Before Steve got back, you had a plan. You were supposed to add some ambiance; dark scarfs over the lamps, pillows on the floor.... Oh, but you did do one thing.

You take out the medieval looking goblets filled with goodies; black nail polish, edible vampire teeth, red gummies of every flavour. You set them aside and start on the snacks.

Hummus and spinach dip, whole wheat crackers, veggies, and some fruits. You bring it out as Nat and Wanda set up a nest on the floor. Natasha grimaces at the tray.

"Really?"

"Well, you know..."

"We know. Mighty Captain America doesn't allow real American food in his house." Natasha sniffs.

"I got a surprise, wait," you put it down and wave off her chagrin. "One sec."

You go back out to the kitchen and grab the goblets. You bring them out with a proud smile. Wanda oohs and ahs as she nears.

"Adorable," she praises. "Oh, Natty, there's candy."

"Is it vegan? Sugar-free? All organic?"

"It's real," you assure her. "Just for tonight."

"For tonight or just for us?"

"Well, they're... presents."

"Hmm," Nat plucks out a gummy. "You should join in on the fun."

"It's okay, really. I'm not very hungry right now."

"It's one candy," she nears and holds it between her talon-like nails.

"You girls and your vampires," Steve startles you as he appears in the archway. You glance over. 

"Whatever, scaredy pants," Nat shoves the candy towards you. "It's girls' night and you're jealous."

"You're stealing my wife. Damn right I'm jealous." He scoffs.

"Mhmm," Nat hums and pushes the candy through your lips. You widen your eyes as she pulls her thumb free. You bite into it and look at Steve. He doesn't look impressed.

"Just try not to get her in any trouble," he says.

"In your living room?" Wanda giggles.

"You two have a way," Steve chides.

"Says Steve Rogers," Nat shakes her head.

"Says her husband," he tisks.

"Fucking Christ," Nat mutters. "Think a vampire would be a better husband."

"I can hear you," he retorts. "Language."

He marches off and you give a guilty look as you chew. You wish they didn't argue so much. You just want to have a nice movie night.

[daisymbin]

hi! could you do fluff prompt #37 with hoshi but its yn who brings hoshi flowers AAAAAAAAAA maybe because yn knows how hard this cb has been for hoshi so they surprise him with flowers after practice ><

WHY IS THIS CUTE!!!!! thank you for requesting lovely 🤍

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist! // soonyoung's m.list

fluff prompt #37: "you brought me flowers? just because?"

soonyoung was getting frustrated. he had been trying to nail down the choreography for the last hour, but it wasn’t clicking. his movements were stiff, and the steps felt off. it wasn’t even about the difficulty of the routine—he was just getting too worked up over the smallest things. his temper was hot, his mind too cluttered to focus.

mingyu and seungkwan were there too, leaning against the wall and watching him with amused looks. neither of them said anything, knowing well that interrupting soonyoung when he was in this mood was a terrible idea.

just as soonyoung was about to shout in frustration, the door to the practice room opened. he watches as you stepped in, carrying a small bouquet of bright flowers, and the atmosphere immediately shifted.

soonyoung stopped mid-movement, his eyes snapping to the flowers in your hands. his irritation faded for a split second, replaced by a flash of confusion. who’s giving her flowers? he thought, his chest tightening. is it her crush?

he stared at you for a moment, his gaze slightly narrowing. “who gave those to you?” he asked, his tone a little more annoyed than usual, though he tried to mask it.

you blinked, taken aback by the question. “uh... no one,” you said softly, holding the bouquet out toward him. “i got them for you.”

for a moment, soonyoung didn’t know how to process that. “for me?” his voice was barely above a whisper as he looked at the flowers, then back to you. “why?”

his ears began to burn a little, the tips turning a shade of red that was impossible to hide. he wasn’t used to this, to being the center of your attention like this. he could feel his heart racing slightly as he tried to make sense of it. why would you get me flowers?

“just because,” you replied with a shrug, offering him a soft smile.

soonyoung stared at the flowers again, the blush creeping further across his cheeks. “you... got me flowers? just because?” his voice dropped, quieter now, a little more vulnerable. he could feel his own heart hammering in his chest.

before you could respond, mingyu, ever the troublemaker, jumped in with a grin plastered on his face. “you got soonyoung hyung flowers? what about me? what about us? we want flowers too!"

"they're just flowers, friends can give each other flowers! calm down." you answered, trying to calm your hammering heart.

seungkwan chimed in, barely able to contain his laughter. “just flowers? just because? this is a whole new level of romance,”

soonyoung’s eyes widened, and his ears turned even redder as he shot both of them a glare. “shut up,” he mumbled, his words barely audible. he was trying to keep his composure, but it was hard with mingyu and seungkwan giving him no mercy.

you, on the other hand, felt your stomach twist with nerves. you had no idea what was going on, but it sounded like they were making fun of you. was it that obvious? you thought, trying not to fidget with your hands. maybe bringing him flowers wasn’t such a good idea after all.

soonyoung, still flustered and now very much aware of how loud mingyu and seungkwan were being, took a deep breath and finally looked back at you. “thanks... really. i, uh... i appreciate it.”

you gave him a small smile, but you could feel the tension between you two. “no problem,” you said, shifting awkwardly. “well, i’ve got some errands to run. i should go.”

as you turned to leave, soonyoung’s eyes followed you, his mind racing. what am i doing? he thought. just tell her you like her already, you idiot.

mingyu and seungkwan shared a knowing look, and as soon as the door clicked shut behind you, they wasted no time.

“you’re such an idiot,” mingyu said, his voice dripping with teasing. “how much more obvious can it be? flowers? just because? come on.”

seungkwan snorted. “seriously, how can you not see it? she brought you flowers, you’ve gotta make a move, or she’s gonna think you’re either completely stupid & clueless or you just don't have feelings for her.”

soonyoung’s face was burning now, his fists clenching at his sides. “i know, okay? it’s not that simple.”

mingyu rolled his eyes. “it’s not that complicated, you just need to get your act together. you’re lucky she even likes you.”

soonyoung didn’t say anything more. he was too embarrassed to admit just how nervous he was about the whole thing. he didnt want to admit that something as simple as flowers got to him, but something in him clicked, and without another word, he turned and rushed for the door.

he dashed down the stairs, his mind made up in an instant.

you were just outside the building, walking down the street with your head slightly lowered. soonyoung caught sight of you and nearly tripped in his haste to catch up. “hey!” he called out, his voice breathless. “wait up!”

you stopped and turned to face him, eyes wide. “soonyoung? did i leave something behind?”

he ran a hand through his hair, trying to compose himself. "no, uh," he took a deep breath, then blurted out the question he had been dying to ask. “do you have time tonight? for dinner? and maybe a movie?” his eyes shifted to yours, trying to read your expression.

you blinked, caught off guard by the suddenness of his words. “dinner and movie? like... outside?"

he nodded quickly, his nervousness creeping back in. “yeah, like... outside.”

your eyes flicked between him and the ground, trying to process what was happening. “like... a date?”

soonyoung’s heart skipped a beat, and he nodded again, more confident now as a smile creeps onto his face, “yeah. like, a date.”

[randomreadingtimewithtsuki]

Hi! Can I please request a Marco x reader fic where the reader just joined the crew and didn’t know Marco could turn fully into a bird, she just thought that was the crews pet bird that comes and goes as it pleases. So she’s been hanging out with the bird and giving it treats and pets and telling it secrets while the rest of tte crew just snickers knowing the truth. She tells the bird about her feelings for Marco and it’s just a silly little situation of the reader being really dense and the crew just laughing at Marco’s internal struggles on what the heck to do lol. Thank you!!!!

Hello!

Thank you for requesting!

I will change the request a bit if that's ok! I hope it is of your liking! Please let me know what you think!

I will write as if Reader didn't know about Marco's devil fruit powers besides the blue flames.

Tsuki's note: I suffer from second hand embarassement. It was hard to write this. But i feel like i would do the same, because i am an idiot.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were a new recruit in the whitebeard pirates.

There are so many people, you were still getting the hang of everyone.

Of course you knew the commanders and the ship's doctor - Marco.

But the others? Oh boy. You felt a bit embarrassed to forget their names.

You also didn't quite know everyone's powers, yet.

It was a bit rare to see the commanders join in small fights, but you did know some of them, like fire fist Ace or Diamond Jozu.

You also were aware Marco had a devil fruit power that granted him blue flames.

You were asked to accompany the first division during a mission.

As per usual, Marco stayed in the side lines most of the time.

Until a massive fight with another pirate group broke out - you lost sight of half of your crewmates.

Someone in the enemy line has the power to make smokescreen.

Soon enough, you saw blue flames, you figured Marco joined in the fight.

You were too busy trying to keep yourself and a few mates alive.

When you came to, you realized you were in a whole other area on the island - in the middle of a plain.

You managed to drag two crewmates who were badly injured.

As you looked around trying to figure out where you were, you saw a blue bird coming.

As it came closer you realized it wasn't just a blue bird, but a bird with blue flames all over its body.

You were mesmerized by the animal.

It was so majestic.

As the bird approached you and the two fellows, you started taking a defensive stance - you didn't know who or what that bird was!

But seeing that the bird landed close to you - quite graciously, you realized you had no ill intent.

One of your crewmates moaned asking what was happening.

You couldn't help but answer that a mesmerizing looking bird just landed here.

Between coughs, you crewmate asked " You mean, Marco?"

You froze. You didn't know. Is it him?

You looked over your shoulder and the bird was calmly looking at you, until it spoke.

Asking how those two near you were doing.

You were taken aback and while you processed the situation, the bird got wrapped in blue flames and just like magic, there was Marco kneeling near you and your crewmates.

You felt your face burn, but hey, maybe he didn't hear you.

So you turned to help him carry the injured ones back.

In the way you asked him far you wandered off. Surprisingly, not so much, Marco mentioned a few others were still missing.

You nodded in agreement and worry.

So you volunteered to help look for them and Marco took on your offer:

Marco: "It would be a great help, Yoi. We can't have other distracted by me."

He was grinning.

Your face felt awfully hot.

So, you decided to power walk through your search for you comrades.

It took a while to gather everyone and thankfully Marco seemed pretty busy tending to everyone.

By nightfall, it seemed that everyone was settled and had they injuries taken care of.

You just had some scratches here and there, so you didn't bother going to see Marco.

You decided to rest on a tree branch, as you wanted to have an overview of everyone and also to stay in the look out of potential enemies approaching.

While you watched your crewmates - some eating, others partying and others sleeping - you heard rustling of leaves, which made you turn your head quite quickly.

You found Marco, perched on the neighboring branch.

Marco: "If you turn your head that quickly you will get dizzy, yoi."

You felt your cheeks burn.

Marco sat on his branch and didn't say much for a while.

Until he broke the silence asking about your wounds.

You took a deep breath to not stutter and replied to the man, saying that you were ok.

He listens to you, but his eyes were over a cut on your arm. It wasn't bad, but it was a big cut.

Marco asked to take a look at it.

You hesitantly stretched out your arm.

He started lecturing you about hiding wounds - how badly it could go.

You just nodded , c'mon, it's just scratch.

You were by surprise when he giggle:

Marco: Y/N, you should be extra careful, since you seem to get distracted easily yoi

Once more, you felt heat rising up from your neck.

Y/N: Well, it´s not everyday you see a... bird on fire.

Marco: A... what was it? Mesmerizing bird, you mean?

You huffed.

Y/N: I-i... I mean... Yeah.

You heard him laugh.

Marco: I appreciate the compliment.

Y/N: S-sure...

An awful awkward silence followed between you two.

You were 100% sure he was grinning.

After he was done cleaning your injured arm, he told you to go to sleep.

You refused. You wanted to keep watch.

The man just sighed and flickered your forehead.

Marco: That is what I am here for. I am responsible for everyone safety.

Y/N: Can't I help? A bit?

Marco pondered for a bit. He ended up agreeing as long as you went to sleep at midnight, so he could take over your shift.

You did as you were told - you anxious to put this embarrassing day behind.

Little did you know, you would be constantly reminded of it.

Either by Marco or the two crewmates who swear you said something of the sorts ( you deny it. Nope, they were imagining it)

The only thing you didn't know is how happy Marco actually got hearing that from you.

Many find his phoenix form intimidating and no one ever said anything about it.

Except you. You did and you said something nice.

So, Marco may appear more on his phoenix form around. Just to " stretch his wings" as he liked to say.

----------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!

Let me know what you think!

[broidobe]

𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰

requested! this was soooooo fun to write. i honestly couldn't have asked for a better request lol. "i’m gonna request a brat taming fic with slash OH GOD i imagine him playing along with reader and her playful brattiness, but when it starts to get serious he gets stern and AWHHHHH SMUT SPANKING FERAL, i’d imagined current slash but feel free to change anything". LIKE UGHHHH THAT WAS GREAT TO READ

⁎⁺˳✧༚guns and roses masterlist

it started out as a game—one you always enjoyed playing, and one he always let you get away with. slash, with his laid-back charm and quiet intensity, had a way of humoring your bratty tendencies. he'd smirk under that iconic hat of his, one brow barely lifted, playing along as if he were the most patient man in the world.

today, though, you were really pushing it.

it started when you swiped his guitar pick right from the amp, holding it behind your back like a mischievous child. “hey,” he drawled, standing a few feet away with his arms folded, the hint of a smirk at his lips. “you’re gonna give me that back.”

“what if i don’t?” you bit your lip, stepping just out of reach.

he tilted his head, curls spilling around his face as he regarded you. “you’re playin’ with fire, sweetheart.”

“am i?” you taunted, holding up the pick with a cheeky grin before shoving it into the back pocket of your jeans.

for a moment, he said nothing, just watching you with those dark, brooding eyes. then he shifted, pushing off the amp where he’d been leaning. the air in the room changed—thick, electric, and heavy with unspoken tension. you swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how serious he looked.

he stalked toward you slowly, his boots thudding against the floor. “you think i won’t do somethin’ about that?” his voice was lower now, the playful edge stripped away and replaced with something far more commanding.

“i’m just playing,” you murmured, feigning innocence as you backed up until your legs hit the edge of the couch.

“oh, i know what you’re doin’, baby.” he stopped right in front of you, towering, his presence consuming every inch of your space. one hand reached up to tilt your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “but you’re about to find out what happens when you push me too far.”

your breath hitched, a shiver running down your spine at the way his voice dripped with authority.

“turn around,” he said softly.

“w-what?”

“i said, turn around.”

you stared up at him, your defiance cracking under his stern gaze. slowly, you turned, heart racing as you felt his hands settle firmly on your hips. his grip was strong, possessive, pulling you back until you were flush against him.

“you like testing me, don’t you?” he muttered, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. you nodded silently, though you could feel your pulse pounding in your throat.

“say it.”

“i like testing you,” you whispered.

“that’s what i thought,” he growled, giving your hip a squeeze before his palm landed hard against the curve of your ass. the sudden sting made you gasp, and you jerked forward, but his hold on you didn’t falter.

“that’s one.”

“slash…” you whimpered, but the way your thighs squeezed together betrayed you.

“you wanted to play this game, sweetheart,” he rasped, delivering another sharp slap. smack. “i think it’s time i remind you who’s in charge.”

your skin burned under his touch, but every sharp sensation sent heat pooling between your legs. he settled into a rhythm—a few more spanks, each one punctuated by his low, gravelly praise or reprimands. “you’re such a brat… but look at you now. so obedient.”

by the time he was done, you were trembling, his hands now soothing the sting with slow, deliberate caresses. “you okay?” he murmured, his voice softer now.

you turned to look at him over your shoulder, eyes glassy but full of want. “y-yeah.”

his lips quirked into that signature smirk. “good. because i’m not done with you yet.”

before you could process his words, slash guided you forward, pushing you to lean over the arm of the couch. the rough fabric bit into your palms as you braced yourself, your breath quick and shallow. his hands skimmed down your back, pausing at the curve of your waist before trailing lower.

“you’re already so wet for me,” he murmured, slipping his fingers between your legs to confirm it. you gasped at the contact, your body arching instinctively.

“slash… please,” you whimpered, pressing your hips back toward his touch.

he chuckled darkly, dragging his fingers through your slick folds but never quite giving you what you needed. “you’re not in charge here, baby. you don’t get to tell me what to do.”

you bit your lip, frustration bubbling up as he teased you, circling your clit lazily but never pressing down the way you craved. just as you were about to protest, he withdrew his hand completely, and you groaned at the loss.

“you’ll get what you want,” he muttered, his voice rough with his own desire. you heard the sound of his belt unbuckling, and the anticipation made your heart race. “but not until i’ve had my fill of you.”

the sound of his zipper sent a fresh wave of arousal pooling between your thighs. you barely had a moment to think before you felt the blunt head of his cock teasing at your entrance.

“is this what you wanted?” he asked, voice low and dangerous.

“yes,” you choked out, desperate.

“say it.”

“i want you, slash. please.”

“that’s my girl,” he growled before thrusting into you in one deep stroke. the sudden fullness made you cry out, your fingers digging into the couch. he gave you no time to adjust, setting a slow, punishing rhythm that left you gasping with each thrust.

“look at you,” he murmured, gripping your hips tightly as he fucked you deeper. “so needy. so fucking perfect.”

every word sent sparks of pleasure straight to your core, and you pushed back against him, meeting each of his thrusts. the room was filled with the sound of skin meeting skin, your whimpers and his low, guttural moans mingling together.

“you’re mine,” he growled, reaching around to find your clit, circling it roughly with his fingers. the combination of his cock stretching you and the friction on your sensitive nub sent you hurtling toward the edge.

“slash… i’m gonna…”

“cum for me, baby,” he commanded, his voice tight with restraint.

with a final thrust and a sharp press of his fingers, you shattered, your orgasm crashing over you in waves. your walls clenched around him, drawing a deep groan from his chest as he thrust into you a few more times before spilling himself inside you.

for a moment, the only sound in the room was your ragged breathing. slash pulled you upright, his hands gentle now as he turned you to face him.

“you good?” he asked softly, brushing a damp strand of hair from your face.

you nodded, a sated smile tugging at your lips. “yeah. more than good.”

he smirked, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “good. next time you decide to test me, just remember how this ends.”

[melithril]

[Adar] - Safe With Me

♫ - Sanctuary - Welshly Arms

main masterlist | blog playlist

TW: abuse (non-intentional choking), mention of trauma and nightmares (Adar) . If this triggers you, skip this one and take care of yourselves!

Sleep was a blessing. It was not often that Adar managed to get a good nights sleep wherein he could rest at a decent time and sleep all the way through until dawn. Sometimes, it was stress that kept him awake, other times it could be slight bouts of insomnia. On the rarer occasion, it was his nightmares.

Adar didn't have them often, he had learned to push those bad thoughts of his past away. He was not always successful, and sometimes they crept in. He had quickly learned to deal with them, but the more violent ones were hard on his own. He would wake, sweating and panting, feeling lost and empty and unable to sleep the rest of the night. 

However, once he had met you, Adar found his nightmares became few and far between, that you had become a safe beacon for him in those times of need. Each time he woke with fear, you shushed him back to sleep, and he let himself rest knowing you were there.

Only one time had it been significantly worse than the rest.

You had awoken with the movement of Adar beside you, who was tossing and turning, tiny little groans coming from his throat as he did so. Sweat laced his forehead, and hie had a tight grip on the cover where his knuckles turned almost white. Adar's soft features were curled into a grimace, and he looked very pained at what was happening in his mind. 

Concern had washed over you although you had been here many times before. You were not annoyed at being woken up, far from it, you knew it was a time in which Adar would need you the most and somewhere you had sworn to him you would always be.

"Adar?" you whispered, leaning down and laying your hand onto his shoulder, shaking him very gently. "Hey, come on, wake up."

Adar was notoriously hard to pull from his dreams, especially bad ones. That's why you handled him with care, squeezing his shoulder and laying your free hand on his face, the pad of your thumb rubbing his cheek. He tended to take comfort in your touch on his skin.

"Adar, my darling.." Your voice was louder this time and he had jumped bolt upright in bed. A little startled, you had jumped back, not too far as you kept yourself in his reach.

It must have been a terrible one, as Adar's eyes were glazed over as though he wasn't even there. In a fraction of a second, Adar's hand shot up and found home around your throat, though there was little to no pressure. Inside, you panicked, but on the outside, you knew you had to remain calm. Whatever his dream was must have gotten to him badly, as he would never have laid a hand on you any other time. 

Not knowing what else to do, you did the one thing you thought may ground him again. So, you used your voice and talked to him.

"Adar.." your voice meekly trailed off, and Adar's hand had not moved a muscle. 

Those eyes you had grown so accustom to staring at you with love were a haze, and he narrowed them as he looked at you in what was left of the moonlight. Merely moments had gone by, but it felt like a lifetime. Worry evident in your tone, you carried on in hopes you could get through to the uruk.

"My star, I know you are there. It's me, my love. Please come back to me."

Your voice broke at the last words, and Adar began to blink rapidly. Perhaps less than thirty seconds had gone by in the whole exchange, and his hand dropped as a look of shock found its way onto his face.

"Oh, starlight," Adar spoke, barely above a whisper. "I - I am sorry."

He squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing a hand on his temple. You sat before him, letting him process what had happened before making any move. Opening his eyes once more, the look of sorrow on his face broke your heart. 

"I did not mean that, please forgive me. I was not aware of who you were... for a second, I thought.. I thought you were.."

"Shh, Adar. You need not relive it. If you wish to talk about your dream I am here, but do not worry, there is nothing to forgive for your actions. You acted out of turn, you did not know."

A sob left your lover, a very rare occurrence to hear out loud. If he did cry, it was mostly silent. You knew he was in a bad way right now. Leaning forward, you crawled to his side and took his hand in your own. Adar could not bear to look at you, feeling horrible for how he had treated you.

"My light," he began, eyes pointing down to his lap. "I promised to never lay a finger on you, and I am ashamed that I would allow myself to do that. If you no longer feel safe with me, I would understand."

Your eyes widened,saddened by the implication you would want to go anywhere else. "Do you think one small instance in which you have a natural trauma response would make me leave you?"

Your question was rhetorical, he knew he didn't have to answer. You tilted Adar's chin so his eyes looked into yours, and you wiped his tears as you always had done. 

"Now, you listen to me, Adar," you began, cupping his face to keep his attention on you. "I know these nights will happen, they have before and I know your past is what causes them. Your dreams are of that, and that is not something easy to deal with for you. It would not be for anyone. But, your trauma is not something worth leaving you for, do you understand? I am here to help you. I know there was no malice in your action, and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. I am still here, I will hold you and kiss you until every bad thought is gone tonight. You are not alone, and you never will be."

Adar could see the sincerity in your face. The fear in him that you would leave after he had placed his hands on you in such a manner had dissipated, but still the remainder of his nightmare lingered. Your arms reached around him, pulling him into your side. One hand ran through his soft locks, your other hand entwined with his own. 

Silence fell on the room as you sat together, Adar in your arms as you held him close. Your lips pressed kisses to the side of his head as he lay it on your shoulder, keeping himself nuzzled into your side as best he could. The sun had started to rise, and its rays crept in through the crack of the curtain. Still, you paid it no mind. In a way, it felt fitting. The darkest was done, and the calm after the storm washed over you both as you enjoyed each others company. 

Adar stirred from his place, propping himself up on his arm as he leaned facing you.His hand came to your face to brush through your hair, and you had not flinched. You knew he was harmless, and you knew that he would never hurt you with intention. With Adar, there was nothing to fear.

"Thank you for staying with me." Adar spoke softly now, and you smiled down at the handsome uruk. In the pale glow of the sunrise, his features lit up in a beautiful way. You took a second just to admire him before responding.

"There is nowhere I would rather be, my beloved. I have never felt safer with anybody, you have kept me protected enough times for me to know I will come to no harm with you. Your burden is mine to bear, too. I will be here for you, always."

He leaned up to kiss you, lips touching yours softly. You returned it, just as gentle. As he pulled back, Adar spoke against your lips. It sounded more like a promise to himself, but you took his words in as the last thing you heard before the two of you drifted off into an early morning slumber.

"You are safe with me, my darling. I promise. This is our sanctuary, and I will always keep you protected."

Thank you for reading! <3

[numberonetacostan]

on behalf of all your followers, may we get some autism taco headcanons?

Hi there!!^^ Welcome back, and thank you for sending in your request!! :] All of you want autistic taco headcanons?! I better get started, then!!! *projects onto taco so hard*

Ask and you shall receive, autistic taco headcanons!

I don't think she gives a ton of visual indicators to show she's listening to someone. If she hears something in the woods that could be dangerous, she'll turn/move to look, but for a person? She'll maybe give a hum of acknowledgement. This could actually cause some tension with her and Mic, since it's so important to Mic that Taco listens to her, yeah? And even though Taco is making the effort to listen, Mic can't tell since she isn't physically showing it. Soap would probably end up getting involved and telling Taco to shape up and listen to Mic, Taco would argue that of course she listens to Mic, and when Soap brings up Taco not turning to Mic or looking at her, Taco is confused because what does that have to do with listening to her. She does not hear with her eyes. Soap would probably have to go over it with Taco and explain it to her so she'd get why it's making Mic (and probably other people but she cares more about Mic) feel like she isn't actually listening. She would then apologize to Mic and they'd be okay again! And Soap would ask Suitcase if she can bring the psychiatrist back to the island for yet another autism evaluation. She has more evidence this was just the last straw.

I like to think that Taco tends to be unaware of how frightening her... general thought process can be. She was alone for years, and is quite literally wired for villainy. I like to think that she schemes to help her fall asleep, so she has a whole bunch of plans cooked up that she never used, nor really intended to use. This unawareness would become a bit of an issue when she explains in-depth how easy it would have been to burn down the hotel and kill most of if not all of its residents. She wasn't going to do it, that wouldn't benefit her and could even compromise her hiding spots in the woods, but she was having trouble sleeping and needed to think of an evil plan. Why is she getting weird and scared looks, she obviously wasn't actually going to burn down the hotel. (Sidenote: She's right btw! We see the repairs done after Mephone hits the hotel with a plane is done primarily if not completely with wood. We see ONE exit to the hotel, that being the front door. No fire stairs on the outside. The bloody hallway is on the outside, rooms on the inside, meaning if anyone gets stuck in their rooms because of the fire outside or the temperature warping the door, they're out of luck. And if Bomb got caught in the fire? Boom!!! No more hotel!!! Sorry this is off-topic I am very passionate about how unprepared the hotel would have been for a fire.)

I like to think, as long as she can fit them in her shell, she keeps every single one of her possessions in there. Not sure if you're aware of my pocket dimension headcanon, but tdlr I like to think Taco has infinite space in there. It can be a thing for autistic people to need to have certain possessions on them at all times, to be carrying a bag with their supplies (whatever those might be), etc. I like to think keeping things in her shell is Taco's equivalent. That's another part of why it's such a personal and private space for her- if something happens to one of her Supplies it'll really stress her out.

Apologies if I've mentioned this one before, but she is going to have a lot of trouble to adjusting to living indoors after having been outside almost her entire life. Fluorescent lights, buzzing electricity, the sounds of the people living with her, etc. It's going to be a lot to get used to, and she will probably spend a lot of time sitting in the dark because she's overstimulating and somewhat debating going back to being evil so she can go back to her nice quiet woods and no one will come talk to her ever. She hated it in the moment but it sounds real good when being in the mansion gets to be too much.

She needs clearly defined rules to know what to do!! EX: Mic can't just tell her not to lie anymore, because she'd take that as always needing to tell the truth, even if it's not something you should normally tell someone. If Mic tells her not to shout at people, she will do her best not shout at people- including shouting to communicate from further distances. She'll walk all the way over to tell someone something, and then walk all the way back, because she genuinely thinks that's what Mic wants! And after episode 14, she very much wants to do what Mic wants her to do to the letter!!

[lotusloong]

Hi, me again. I'm just curious, when/why did you first get into Monkey King? I'd been aware of him for while (I kinda knew who he was, where he came from, that he inspired certain other characters like Goku in DBZ and Saiyuki and stuff) but only started learning more about him recently after I watched Monkey King: Hero is Back and fell in love. I watched an entire playthrough of Black Myth Wukong and, even though I had no idea what was happening storywise, absolutely loved every minute of it! Since then, I've gotten more familiar with the characters and story of Journey to the West, and devoured the three live-action movies, the Netflix movie, Monkey King: Reborn, New Gods: Nezha Reborn, and the Lego Monkie Kid series. I can't get enough of this guy! He's such a lovable little gremlin. I think my fav versions are Hero is Back Wukong and the Destined One.

...Okay now I'm going back to hide in my corner for realsies this time lol (sorry I'm shy)

I am so happy to get asks like this, thank you for fighting thru your shyness to send them!! Fair warning, I do get rambly (I'm an AuDHD writer, it's very hard for me to turn off my info dumping lolol) 

First off again, I really really do appreciate getting asks like this!! I put my writing and silly ideas up because I want to interact with other fans!! Sadly within the past few years interaction with fan works has depleted, and so it does make it a struggle to keep up with the creative process. (I've honestly been feeling like I'm speaking into the void sometimes when I post my Wukong stuff. The thing that keeps me going and writing is the few individuals who consistently interact with me with their own ideas and comments. Other people's ideas fuel my ideas, so if you or anyone else has a thought they want to share I will love to hear it and respond to it.) With that said, on to my past!!!

Now, I've always been a massive fan of mythology, and I hyperfixated on Greek myth for years (like, this year is my 16th anniversary kind of hyperfixation). And I always told myself that at some point I would branch off into other mythologies. 

I had always felt a connection with Daoism and Buddism because a lot of the philosophies made sense to me. I'm a zoologist, part of my job is teaching people at my city's science museum about nature and animals. A lot of Daoist philosophies are based on the ebb and flow of nature, but I just never found anything that actually hooked me to get me obsessed with it. It was more like a passing appreciation for what it represents and the ideals it holds. 

Now complete subject change, I love FromSoft souls games. Up until Wukong, I would write for other fandoms, and get a couple fics in before moving on (and even then it's not a lot. Wukong just…does something to my brain to get me writing) but I adore FromSoft games. I love the combat (I don't think I'm like…competitively good but I can beat the bosses and I have some decent skill) and I especially love the lore. Those games are so rich in lore, I adore it!! About gods and monsters and magic practices, all amazing! 

And back in February, a YouTuber I watch for mythology content did a whole video on Black Myth Wukong, explaining the lore of the different bosses. I was bored and hadn't heard anything about the game before, so I clicked it. 

I had my mind fucking blown.

That intro to the game? Sucked me in like nothing else. I didn't even get 5 minutes into the video before I was exiting out and looking up how much the game cost and everything I could to learn about it. 

Who was this sexy demon guy in gold armor flying on a cloud with this gorgeous music playing in the background? Holy shit this sexy demon guy is challenging a celestial army, he's so badass! Who is he!?!

I stayed up all night learning everything I could about Journey to the West. I bought the books that same night, I bought the game and started playing, I started looking up movies and shows, everything. 

And then it hit me, “oh wait, I know who the Monkey King is! I heard that name before!!” And I realized how many things this god had influenced! Characters from all different types of shows and movies and games, all with nods to this story!!

I think my first real moment of being aware of Wukong was actually from the game Persona 5, funny enough. I was never big on anime (believe me, I've tried. Never could get into it) but I did like the Persona 5 game, I liked the art style and story telling. Now for those who haven't played this game, there is a character named Ryuji, who is my fav character.

Ryuji is a brash ball of sunshine who's labeled as a delinquent and constantly looked down upon by the adults in his life because he tried to do the right thing and got fucked over by an adult who was supposed to help him, but instead abused him. He has a Persona (his personality/heart given magical form, essentially) that started out as a pirate based on Captain Kidd. When you level his friendship up enough, his Persona evolves into - you guessed it - Sun Wukong. A pretty funky looking design but I thought it was still fun and kooky and it was the Persona of my fav character from the game, so I was going to like it no matter what. That is technically my first introduction to Sun Wukong 🤣🤣🤣

Since I've gotten Black Myth Wukong and the OG Books, I've been devouring content for Wukong wherever I can get it. I haven't watched the live action movies yet, but I've been watching the 1986 show 💖💖 I want to watch Havoc on Heaven but haven't found a decent quality with Chinese VAs and English translations sadly…

But I've watched all the other animated movies I believe, and I haven't caught up on Lego Monkie Kid (I have…mixed opinions on it) but I just love Wukong in any form!! I have been asked before what my fav version is and I'm gonna give the same answer I did then, I like all of them for different reasons. They all have their charm and flaws and funny moments that make me fall in love with them 💖💖💖

I really really hope to see more of him in the future, especially Hero is Back!! Nezha and Nezha 2 are the highest grossing movies, could you imagine if the same director and writing team did another movie focusing on Dasheng!?! I would die!! Not to mention whispers of Black Myth dlc this year!!! I want all the content I can get on our beloved monkey husband, I love him so much 💖🐒💖🐒💖🐒

[razorblade180]

Clashing Feelings

With another day of training ready to wear out March’s muscles, the girl gladly took her time walking into the court yard. It was strength day with Yunli and that meant figurative and literal heavy lifting. To prolong meeting her master in Aurum Alley, she had told Yunli she had conventionally forgotten her blades; allowing her to walk back.

As March walked to the bench where they rested, her eyes honed in on Yanqing lying flat in the grass. An instinct took over and she ran over to find him completely conscious.

March:Master Ya- oh… you’re awake. Good! That’s good.

Yanqing:Forgot your swords?

March:You could say that. Master Yunli gave me an ear full. Uhh, why are you on the ground?

Yanqing:I’m organizing my very, very jumbled thoughts.

March:So you won’t be observing today with-

Yanqing:Pass

March:…Master Yunli really bothers you, doesn’t she?

Yanqing:She’s just so…annoying! Her remarks never let up! And don’t get me started on her attitude! I know I shouldn’t pay her any mind and yet…agh! *sits up* I’m not stupid! I’m well aware of my flaws in swordplay and I don’t need her pointing them out all the time. I mean would it kill her comment on my effort at least once!?

March:You want her to compliment you?

Yanqing:*red*That’s…not what I said! Not like her opinions should matter to begin with. I know I’m trying and so does the General; and yet…tsk! Why do I know her acknowledgement matters to me!? I-

March:Is this your first time having a crush?

The silence was loud. The boy pouted and sulked as he turned his head away.

Yanqing:That doesn’t properly describe the situation. Do you really think being around a girl my age would throw me out of sorts. Cut me some slack! I’m aware Yunli is a capable sword master. Frankly, she’s incredibly skilled. It’s hard not to admire that.

March:Yanqing, that’s still a crush.

Yanqing:Fine! *throws hands up* I have a crush on Yunli! Are you happy now!?

March:Haha, aww. Chin up okay? It’s perfectly normal for someone your age. Even adults get crushes; I’ve had my fair share. Unlike you though, I get along with them.

Yanqing:How so?

March:Well…*blushing* Let’s just say there’s a lot of truth opportunities to get to know each other on a deep level.

Yanqing:So what would you do in my situation.

March:Umm hehe, let’s not tackle it from that angle. If it’s advice you want then I think it’s better to let yourself feel everything you’re feeling. It’s confusing but important.

Yanqing:Are you saying I should say something to her?

March:Oh Aeons no! Somehow I feel like that would turn into another sword match.

Yanqing:That’s…an accurate assessment. *lays back down*

March:All I mean is don’t try do or act in ways that reject those feelings. No running from her or saying things you don’t actually mean. Believe me, it’s embarrassing. As for acknowledgement, I can’t say if this is her thought process, but whenever Dan Heng or Mr. Yang are strict with me I know it’s because they believe I can do better. You’re the young prodigy and lieutenant of General Jing Yuan. There’s no way she doesn’t think you’re not talented. Believe in yourself more instead of the flaws.

Yanqing:..I can try. Thanks, seriously.

March:See? Talking and feeling the emotions is so much better!

Yanqing:This conversation remains private.

March:Who do you take me for!? Not only am I good student, but a quality friend and trustworthy girl. It’s not cute to spill secrets.

Yanqing:Heh, I’ll take your word for it. But as for a good student…maybe say that when you aren’t late for a session.

March:gasp You’re right! I gotta go! Bye master!

She grabbed her blades and ran off. Hopefully Yunli wouldn’t be too mad. March expected the courtyard and immediately stopped did in her tracks when her head looked left. Right outside the entrance, Yunli leaned against the stone archway. Her arms were crossed and her face a mixture of pensive and pouty. She locked eyes silently before standing up properly and walking back to the alley. March quietly followed clos behind.

March:Sooooooo, what brings you back over here?

Yunli:Oh I don’t know. Perhaps it was student taking exceptionally long for unknown reasons? Next time, don’t drag your feet longer than someone’s patience.

March:H-How long were you waiting there?

Yunli:Long enough.

March:(I’m so sorry Yanqing!!!) Then-

Yunli:If you’re asking for my thoughts then don’t bother. Nothing much to say. Only a moron would gain such a mess of thoughts in the short time of a few weeks.

March:Hey. Don’t you think that’s a bit too mean to-

March stopped herself short. It wasn’t instant, but her master’s ears gradually began to become a dark red that was hard not to notice. She couldn’t help but smile.

March:Ah~ fair enough. I guess it’s a little moronic, but nonetheless sweet. Hehehe.

Yunli:I’m doubling your weight today.

March:Yes ma’am! Let’s both do our best!

Yunli:Hush!

[emmitaaa4]

Getting exponentially tired of the “elriels want 👹” posts in the elain tags where they proceed to either A) outright invent stuff B) act holier than thou about how they care so much for Elain because they C) misconstrue the little they hear from our side in bad faith, or D) just completely miss the point they’re addressing.

it’s one thing to be bitter about a ship, but geez theyre getting mad at generalizations they made up about what we think. it has to be tiring. non?

small rant beneath, just to vent. yes i know i can (& should) block certain tags, but reading frustrating content is a hobby of sorts.

Im genuinely convinced all these “ewriel”-myths they keep talking about are a result of a bad game of telephone—they hear a random thing a gwynriel says, go “they’re all stupid/delusional/immature (insult of choice) so i don’t doubt what you’re saying”, then repeat it to others.

It’s obvious by the way they wholeheartedly believe that Elain is our puritanical-warrior-self-insert we use to vicariously F Azriel (😃✋). Doesn’t help that they usually don’t look as deeply into Elain as we do & tend to get stuck on obviously superficial statements about her: they cannot seem to fathom an Elain that isn’t just a once-bright socialite wilting away sans her sun-mate. So any hint of darkness/savviness we see in her is just us moulding her into Y/N. sigh

anyways.

I can say i’ve read their posts on here, a ton prior to being involved and some now. I’ve seen their tiktoks & video essays, their powerpoints & reddit posts. i’ve seen their comments all over insta/tiktok (kinda hard to miss, they jump on elriel content with their “um shadows and um pliable bones and mates!!” comments). I am WELL aware of what the general consensus is on that side—which is why I am generally unbothered by GA, don’t mind EL, and am just peacefully sailing aboard my ship waiting for it to reach destination.

And because I care about Elain’s journey, I try to see the story the way they do when i encounter certain elucien arguments. For if i am to even just privately engage in the sHip wArs, i know to remain ✨critical✨ and ✨open minded✨.

… there’s no point turning discussions into angry posts against imaginary adversaries.

EVERY elriel i’ve talked to would read an elucien book because it is Elain’s story we are most anticipating. It’s just very telling to me that very few would do the same; that there’s not a whiff of willingness from most of them to listen to the other side.

The funny thing is that all those anti eWrieL posts** i’ve read tend to address twisted versions of “the elriel narrative.” They take things out of context, or say we have the same 3 arguments—which is genuinely insane bc if you know our ship so well, how can you be off by like 2 orders of magnitude ??? (exaggerating if it wasn’t clear, we can’t know these days).

** Their pro GA content reads very anti-Az, used to be very anti-elain, and has a narrow scope ngl. While the bonus matters, it seems like that is ALL they’ve read. They don’t think much about Elain’s journey or powers or decisions, which is just logically not the best way to analyze the series given she IS what’s to come.

✨Just some common myths they believe✨:

they repeatedly claim that elriels want poor elain to be a kickass warrior torturer to fit Az because they A) don’t actually read our stuff B) enjoy thinking we hate elain, and C) can’t fanthom that spying isn’t 007 ninja activities.

apparently we ship elriel because we think they have this big great romance OFF PAGE 😭. how in the hell— i’ll make a post on this one istg it’s lowkey funny. quick, were nessian strangers and unfeeling towards each other at the start of SF ???? damnit i must’ve missed that.

En tout cas. End of rant the rest stays in the drafts lmao.

but istg one day i’ll cave in and unleash the essays of rebuttals and psychoanalyses of their arguments / thought processes just for shit and giggles.

[manorpunk]

I had an epiphany that I've been rolling around in my head lately - "if the plan is not working, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. It means there's something wrong with the plan."

I get anxious at the thought of changing things or starting over. It feels like an admission of defeat, or that it means I’ve been wasting my time. That’s not true - the plot is only one part of the story, and I’ve still been developing all these characters and locations that I can bring with me to the next idea. More importantly, “starting over” can mean that I have a better idea of what’s working and what I want to accomplish. If I start on an idea and it turns out it's not working, or even if I just start getting tired of it or feel like it's starting to collapse under its own weight, then I should put it on the shelf for a bit and try something that sparks my interest more. It seems obvious in retrospect to say "I will write more if I'm writing something I enjoy that interests me" but sometimes obvious things still have to be learned the hard way.

So, what's got my interest? What are the ingredients I want to put into the stew here?

Promise of the Premise: So, I've been rotating this thing in my head for a couple years now, which means there's a lot of twists and turns and not-what-it-seems and in-universe ideological debates that I've been developing. But the surface pitch of Manorpunk is "post-apocalyptic cyberpunk western pastiche of American suburbia," and when I write the Thing To Share, I want to hit those notes hard before I delve into the ideology and 'meaning,' which is fine, because hitting those notes is fun, and what's the point if I'm not enjoying myself!

Episodic/Serial Structure: TV show-esque, in terms of there being a series of self-contained stories advancing larger threads. A novel or movie or Big, Singular Thing is a constant process of revision, tweaking, changing the beginnings to fit new endings, etc., but if I go into it with an episodic structure in mind there's a lot more freedom to figure it out along the way.

Big and Small: A location that allows me to show off the various 'sides' of the setting - the unincorporated Manors speed-running the transition from anarchy to feudalism to statehood; the reality show-esque clashing of personalities among the governors of the post-crisis states; the atomized, corporate-branded treat-treadmill of city life. Any and all of these threads should be able to come up without needing to jostle things around too much.

Core Pair: A pair of central characters with interesting viewpoints, a compelling relationship with each other, and a vague goal which makes for a good excuse to catapult them in whichever direction takes my fancy.

I am not Nabokov: "My very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when I was three[.]" What an unrepentant, interminable showoff! The way those two words conjure such a complete and hilariously grim image. The poetic rhythm of that two-word aside: PIC-nic, LIGHT-ning. The wry self-awareness of Humbert Humbert, revealing his sympathetic villain backstory - child of a perfect little family that was suddenly torn apart through random tragedy, oh you poor thing - yet doing it in a sly and subtle way that doesn't bring attention to itself, and yet on further inspection that sparse and lackadaisical description of his own mother's death brings attention to itself by being, well, a sparse and lackadaisical description of his own mother's death! You could write an entire master's thesis about that single two-word aside! In any case, I am not Nabokov, and what a relief that is, since Nabokov himself seems to have personally been truculent and insufferable (not content to just insult and grouse about his contemporary authors, he went a step further and beefed with Cervantes, perhaps being the only person to dislike Don Quixote who wasn't being funded by the Habsburgs). Free from the burdens of Nabokovhood, I can write and relish in the familiar, the weightless, the genre. I can seek comfort without shame and delight in petty parlor tricks. I can, in other words, have fun and enjoy myself.

I will explain where all of this is going... soon.

[a-couple-of-notes]

OKAY what a finale, folks! Deliberately not reading everyone else's thoughts until later (although I did chat briefly with @kshaar -- thank you for enduring my walls of Discord text), but I'm beginning my processing by writing this out.

I have a few issues with how all of this played out, as I'm sure many of you do, but I mostly really liked this finale. I'm so, so aware that it's hard to stick a landing--especially in a fandom as theory-heavy as Marvel, with the dedication of the queer fanbase on top of it. I think it's commendable how much they executed well, and how deliberately they aligned it with their vision of the show, not the one that would make everyone happy (if there is such a thing).

To the stuff I liked: unpopular opinion, but I like the order of the episodes as it is--final big boss fight first, quiet intimate flashback as the finale. Or, at least, I see the vision--I'm still iffy on whether the pacing actually feels good, but that probably needs another rewatch. This show has always been about unpacking Agatha, peeling off her masks until we get to some kind of truth, ugly or beautiful or both. Of course the ending is the truest thing we've ever gotten out of Agatha--the real story of her son and his death.

I loved everything about Nicky, Rio, and Agatha in the flashback. It is so beautifully mundane. A mother's love. A natural death. Selfishness. Grief. Anger. It's gorgeous, and the version of the ballad we got felt so, so fitting.

Everything about Jen! That unbinding spell...whoo. Sasheer Zamata knocked it out of the goddamn park with her performance--the joy, the sorrow, the agony of relief. Man. Even if the rest of the finale flopped on its belly (which it didn't), that alone would have been worth the price of admission. (Also ALSO: Agatha hate-flirting with Jen over confession of horrible traumatic action that fucked up Jen's whole shit! The Jen/Agatha truthers win!)

Alice. Alice my beloved. Ali Ahn, you do so much with the little screen time you have and I applaud you for it. I'm very grateful their cap on her arc was "I could make my life mean something/you're a protection witch. You died protecting someone" and not "you get to see your mother again" because, as I pointed out in the tags of one of my previous posts, that's the real tragedy of Alice. Her life, her freedom, her potential.

To the things I'm mixed on: that final battle, man. I think they did an admirable job of focusing what could have been a generic Marvel magic-blast-y slugfest into distinct character beats, but there was a lot going on in that fight. And compared to previous Rio and Agatha interactions, their big climactic one felt a little...weightless. Those factors make it much less clear why Agatha and Rio are fighting--like, on an emotional level; I understand intellectually why--which means that what also feels unclear is...

...The not-a-sacrifice. I like 90% of this. I like that Billy is finally able to communicate with Agatha via mind powers, because he's started to accept how alike they are. I like that Nicky is once again Agatha's turning point. I even can get behind the sacrifice as the creators' intention--not what I would have preferred, but a solid narrative choice nonetheless. Still, I am super unclear what, exactly, Agatha is thinking when she turns around. Is she just remembering Nicky himself--how much Billy is like him and how ashamed she would be if she left? If so, it feels odd that Agatha's version of sacrifice is kissing Rio so honestly. Later, we learn that Agatha was taking a risk to become a ghost. So when Billy asks how Nicky died, is Agatha remembering how Rio gave him time--the kiss as a fucked-up version of recognition, the risk being Agatha relying on Death's special treatment once again? That would be a better end to Agatha and Rio's arc, but there's no expository line, no echoing "I can only offer time." And Agatha and Rio. DON'T. TALK. IN PRESENT-DAY EPISODE 9.

This is my main gripe. I am aware I am griping with Megalopolis and FFC, not the show or its creators. But goddamn if more Aubrey Plaza would have fixed almost everything in that finale--and I mean this in a narrative sense, not just because I love Aubrey Plaza. It would have clarified where Agatha is ending re: her relationship with Rio (and Nicky), and it would have bookended the first episode so well (the three-player drama returns!) I am actually irritated about this.

Ghost Agatha looks so goofy. Like, I understand the vision here--the parallels to her mother, and of course Agatha would find a way to piss off Rio in her own domain. It's iconic. Still. There's something about Ghost!Agatha that's so much harder to buy into on a gut level, a kind of emotional distance created in such an emotional, tactile show.

Billy. Oh, Billy. I like your arc. I like its execution, while heaving a grudging sigh of "yeah, that makes sense for this story but I'm still kind of disappointed" re: the creation of the Witches' Road. I love the idea that Billy's ultimate arc was to accept the darkness in himself, and all the things he's capable of. But I really, really wish Agatha had had one more conversation with...not you. (Agatha naturally falls into a mentor-type role for Billy, which isn't necessarily bad or not part of her arc, but does at least lead to me feeling like we don't get an endpoint for Agatha in present day that's entirely her own.)

And I suppose that's the crux of my mixed feelings: the show began with Agatha asking who she was, before Billy even came into the picture. The viewers get to see a glimpse into Agatha's real self in the Ep. 9 flashback. But at the end of episode 9, Agatha is still running from it. She's barely touched her own grief (yes, yes, insert joke about Rio here), and we don't see her making that choice. I emphasize that because I am not categorically opposed to Agatha not completing her grief arc; god knows 9 episodes would have struggled to do that. I'm fine that they left some threads hanging. It's just that something in between Agatha (not-)sacrificing and Agatha coming back as affably-evil Casper is missing, and it feels like a gaping omission.

Other notes: Billy dramatically charging up the hex to create a memorial was great--another way the finale lets us into the beauty of the mundane. It's not to bring everyone back, or go down the Road again. But it's important, this act of remembering.

Though I'm disappointed we didn't get found family coven true, I'm at peace with how that thread wound up. This was a show about Agatha; the coven as individuals act as foils and reflections of her. They break and succeed in similar ways as Agatha. And they were a coven--a messed-up, broken coven who tried their best. It wasn't enough to save them, but it was enough for them to grow closer to the people they wanted to be. Agatha using something from every witch in her coven--Alice's protection spell, Lilia's divination, Jen's healing--in the fight was truly poignant, and tells me she'll remember them and carry them forward. (Also, the contrast against the flashback! "I cannot heal, I cannot protect you from what's coming, and I cannot divine when she'll come for you." Agatha needed them to be her coven! And they were. And they were.)

Final thoughts: (This is a misnomer; I'm still digesting.) Agatha All Along became a more complex, difficult show than I thought it would be pre-Episode 5. Occasionally this meant it disappointed me, had places where its budget, scheduling, Marvel-ness, and decisions regarding exposition struggled to connect things, but overall, it's a damn good show. And I would rather see a funny, challenging, ambitious show made with love for the craft than a safe, big-budget, chopped-up Marvel movie in a blender. And hey, it was super gay! (Please don't come near me with the "Bury Your Gays" stuff. Please. It's not that, I promise you.)

[willowser]

willow i am wondering and pondering on your thoughts on bakugou saying i love you🤔 I’m not sure if you’ve written anything on it (i would read it immediately fyi so do tell). i think i hc my bkg similarly to yours especially your younger bkg even though it’s so sad and tragic to think of him during his late teens-early 20s :( do you envision him ever being in love at that time also?? i doubt 22 year old bkg could pull himself together 🥺😔 but he’s been through a lot so loving someone is last on his mind but i like to think that at maybe 24-27 he’d be soooo okay with saying i love you first🥺 like you said he’s such a random romantic he barely even registers that he is🥺😭 sorry for rambling will kissing and smooching u first!!

oh man, early 20s bakugou 🥺 my poor sweet 🥺 tbh i really don't see him being in love at that time 🥺 i think even if he found you at that period in his life and you were everything he could ever dream of—i really think he just doesn't have the emotional capacity to touch that with a ten foot pole like. he can't give the time or the vulnerability or the sensibility. i think bakugou finding love for the first time is a real discovery process for him, and i think early 20s bakugou is so incredibly and whole-heartedly devoted to heroism, like there's just no room for anything else. maybe—maybe, maybe, maybe—he would try it out for a hot second, and it wouldn't go the way it should and he knows it and at that point he would just call it quits to be safe.

i think by the time he hits around 25 though he's on the up and up !! a little more familiar with navigating everything that's happened to him, able to become more aware of his feelings and the things he wants and what he's able to give to those things. i think this is the point in his life when he really shows his feelings through his actions 😌 like he's really going all out to show you how he feels, because i think he still might feel a little awkward voicing those things—unless it's in those random moments where he's not thinking about it too hard LOL

when i picture him saying it for the first time, i imagine you're in bed together, cooling off, catching your breath. you roll over to rest your head on his arm, even though he's sweating LOL, and he turns his head enough to press his mouth to your hair, even though you're sweaty LOL, and he just kind of quietly mumbles it after a long moment.

just a very simple and quiet i love you 🥺 doesn't want to make a big deal out of it 🥺 but when you say it back, he's trying very hard not to smile aifnruajaka he's so cute i'm biting him

[princess-of-the-corner]

Glad you liked the Audrey thing! https://www.tumblr.com/claws-and-bee-stings/773534622821892096/httpswwwtumblrcomprincess-of-the-corner77350 Also loved this addition that was made XD

Also yeah I totally get you, tis why I am so leery of Andre positive stuff cos I in many ways dislike an abusive parent who inflicts themselves on their child more than one who checks out which is 99% of what Audrey did, even if not for good reason.

Regardless, yeah, it'd be very hard even in these circumstances for Audrey to become a more positive person. Realizing she was a victim of comphet & sexism is only gonna go do so much. Especially as her experience, even as a public figure in these regards is not 100% unique to her and not everyone who dealt with it became their worst self through out.

Everyone's entitled to their own sorrow, but she still messed up two perfectly good kids through a combo of hostility and neglect that in this context was mostly rooted in projecting her internal issues outward and having taken on a role she knew damn well she didn't want.

Still, having one's world rocked by revelations of the self could open anyone up for change too, its mostly a matter of whether one follows through on it, IE:

Audrey: After that Akuma, I see that I am X, which means my anger about Y was never necessary, but wait that means when I lashed out at Z... Oh.

Obviously she'd not phrase it like that, but that's kind of the process. Realizing who one is, that they never had to be what they are, that all those negative emotions came from elsewhere... Then hitting on the fact you took those negative emotions and wielded them like a cudgel on someone who didn't deserve it.

She could just shrug it off, or she could try and turn things around, or anything in-between, but it shook her foundations and preconceptions and that means there is room to grow.

Yeah like. Unfortunately I don't think there's gonna be anything to knock sense into her. And unlike some other shitty parents I've written, her kids aren't as forgiving if she does come around.

Re: Andre:

my thoughts on what category of bad parent to put him in kinda depends on what I'm doing with him.

Canon, as it stands, would be in the same category as Audrey in a 'get the kids away from him he sucks do not let him off easy'.

But in a fic like HC, I already established him as much different than what Canon turned him into. Someone who is making mistakes but genuinely trying and not always aware of what's going wrong and will fix things once it's pointed out. For example: loveblind re: Audrey and how her actions effect Chloé, but will chose Chloé over her once he does understand.

[ferny-berny]

Wow.

The first time I heard this song was through the crappy speakers of my 2003 Chevy Aveo. I was 20 and making the drive down to my college apartment for the first time ever. Me in my yellow hooptie with the last of my belongings; a tote with a couple changes of clothes, my cosmetics bag, an essentials basket from my dad, and a table that didn't make the cut when we moved all my other stuff down the week prior.

I stopped by mom's house then my dad's and lastly my brother's. By this point it's late afternoon and my eyes are puffy from finally allowing my tear ducts to release. My view of the highway under a summer sky preparing for night floods and drains before I can even think to play music. In my search for the perfect coming-of-age soundtrack to complete the scene, I chose this album. It had just released and I figured, who better than Lorde to carry this moment? The girl who had written anthems all through my adolescence would surely have something to provide comfort amongst all the newness.

Maybe it was just that my mind was too scattered, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I expected to. This song and "Solar Power" stood out more than the other tracks, but it didn't give me the feeling "it was supposed to". About halfway through "Mood Ring" I tapped out and played Pure Heroine to finish off the ride.

This was the first sunset I saw in Richmond.

This month I turn 24. Life has taken many turns, but at some point you realize you are going in circles. Not to no end of course, but we are always cycling through our highs and lows; trying again and again to find some kind of balance between accepting change and being true to oneself.

This song perfectly encapsulates that. A realization that everything, even things you thought could never be different, is constantly evolving -- slowly taking new shape before you realize how much time has passed since the last time you noticed.

"And all the times they will change, it'll all come around"

It's sickening, honestly, but Lorde like many other twenty-somethings, has come upon this realization before. She sings the words softly, stretching out the space between them to let us know it isn't urgent.

"Well, my hot blood's been burnin' for so many summers now It's time to cool it down, wherever that leads"

It takes some self-awareness and assuredness to know what is best for you, even if the full picture isn't clear yet. And she's coming to this conclusion while sitting stoned in a nail salon. It's casual, like she'd skimmed across the thought a handful of times, but is just now fully considering it. Just as swiftly as the thought comes, she lets it go as if to say, "maybe I'm thinking about this too hard." It's something that those with a high level of self-awareness must remind themselves of; you must be able to move forward, even if that means paying less attention to these universal truths that can't help but be laced with a weird mix of nostalgia and grief. If I dwell too long, I start to spiral.

That's the beauty of the present (which miss Mary Jane enhances so effortlessly). There is so much value in simply taking in the world around you. I've learned to do it more as I've gotten older and it's definitely had a positive effect on my anxiety. Sometimes whatever is right in front of you can help you process things better than sitting down to make a strict plan. Sometimes you really do just have to let it happen (another song I couldn't have possibly understood fully when I discovered it at sixteen).

The realness of it all kind of surprised me upon my re-listen. The fact that I can relate so much more to the feelings embedded not just in the lyrics, but her voice, makes me feel almost proud. It's a reminder I have lived long enough to understand the truths that connect us to each other. If nothing else, I can find comfort in knowing that I am not the only one analyzing the nature of life in my free time. The funny thing is the chaos that is your twenties really will having thinking about it in line at the grocery store after making mental calculations about how much the trip is going to hurt your pockets, but I digress.

As a fan of her music, I also can't help but be proud of Lorde as well (despite being a few years late lol). To think that her sixteen year old self already had such a clear grasp on her feelings and an instinct for translating it into music is kind of crazy. I feel thankful to have consumed her art during my adolescence and, in a lot of ways, grown alongside it. This song feels gives continuity to "Ribs"; her older sister, if you will.

Where Ribs is a bit angsty and dark, SATNS brings levity to the conversation. She has obviously grown and been able to accept all the fears from the first song. There is doubt, of course --

"Got a wishbone dryin' on the windowsill in my kitchen Just in case I wake up and realize I've chosen wrong"

But it's not fearful. Simply an invisible cloak you must carry once you reach adulthood. With so many decisions we make on a daily basis, how could we not occasionally wonder what if...? I get that now, too.

The truth is: there really is no right and wrong. At least not when it comes to knowing what we must do in our lives; it's all subjective. The only thing we know for certain is that nothing is forever. Things will continue to subtly change over time right in front of your eyes and there will be so many other things happening in your life that you may not notice what exactly is different. And yes, it does make my chest hurt and my eyes sting, but I've learned to embrace it.

This song, along with the rest of the album, has returned to my life at the perfect moment. It deserves true recognition for delivering a piece of work that speaks to the condition of being a girl traversing her twenties, so accurately. Lines such as --

Remember what you thought was grief before you got the call? - "Secrets from a Girl (Who's Seen it All)"

I thought I was a genius, but now I'm 22 - "The Man with the Axe"

I would like to conclude by saying:

Thank you, Lorde. I hope to be able make something that resonates with people this deeply. This life has a funny keeping me humble, but wouldn't it be cool to be able to transform those lessons into art? I am looking for my own way of doing that.

In the meantime, I will be trying not to freak out about being reaching my mid-twenties. Though, I used to not be able to imagine getting this far, so maybe it's not as scary to age as I thought.

[thepriceofagift]

Time to go ahead and post all the art included in my AO3 fics here on this blog (with the fic it's from linked in the image, and also here)!

As for the context.. well, you'll have to read to find out! What I will tell you is that the piece's chapter is titled "Beasts", and the chapter's summary is this-

When more people start to enter the picture, Kinich finds himself in a difficult position.

A small disclaimer- Please know that I post for people (who I assume are fans) who have already read my work! If nothing makes sense to you, that is why. Also note, this chapter ("Beasts") is the fourth one- the first three go without art.

Now, time to talk about this art, because AO3 isn't the place for it and I love to talk! The ramble below includes spoilers, by the way.

So, some context: the one in the middle is Kinich, obviously, because Price (which is what I affectionately refer to The Price of Foolishness as) is about him and from his point of view. Ajaw should also be fairly recognizable to anyone aware of these two, as they do go hand-in-hand. Ajaw is gesticulating wildly, and Kinich is in the process of waking up and slowly understanding his situation... and fighting to stifle his dread. His pose isn't realistic, moreso being inspired by the posing of figures in classical art. The whole composition is taking some inspiration from classical art, actually! I think it lends an air of drama to the piece, and I did put a lot of myself into it. It shows, which is why I'm rather proud of how it turned out!

The other people in the piece are three out of the four men who show up in this scene. Are they original? Yes. Are they characters? Undoubtedly. Will I call them original characters? No, because they're shitty rapists and I have standards. And because I have standards, they all die (read: get narratively punished for their wrongdoings). :)

Alonzo is the one who's smiling. He's by far the best of them, but the bar is in hell. I give him an A for effort, and because I do like him, he gets the OC label (Congrats on being the only OC in this story, Al! So sorry about chapter 15 😅)! Why is he smiling? Because he's tipsy and in love with Kinich... and trying very hard to bottle up any and all negative emotions. Because Kinich doesn't know him well yet, we do not see his eyes.

The light-skinned man chugging his wine is referred to as "the pale man", but his name is Gaston and he's from Fontaine. Kinich never learns this before the man dies, which is why this information never appears in the story itself. The wine he's drinking is also from Fontaine, and I think he introduced Fontainian (read: European) style food to the criminal gang, which is why sandwiches appear. Why? Because this guy doesn't really like Natlanese alcohol or Natlanese food, he's just here for the crime (and to prey on others). The name Gaston means "guest" and is also the name of another villain from France, so I thought it fitting for him. Why am I talking so much about this one horrible man, who I don't even like? Because he doesn't appear in any other art (technically false but emotionally true, however, I refuse to talk about him twice).

The large man in the foreground is referred to exclusively as "the muscular man", but his name is Marco. It fits him, being a Hispanic name that traces its roots back to Mars (the Roman god of war and a form of Aries). Why does it fit him? Because he is a very short-tempered, physically violent, imposing recurring antagonist (read: piece of shit). As such, he's depicted as the "scariest" one here, and we see him from behind. We do not know what he is doing nor what he is thinking, and we often fear the unknown. Because he's in the same boat as Gaston, I will talk about him a lot now since I won't get the chance to later (and that's fine with me). Since he sees Kinich repeatedly, Kinich gets acquainted with his sexual preferences. The reason he has those preferences is because he likes to feel powerful, dominating- he gets off on that feeling. This never comes up in the story, which is why I'm talking about it here.

The art for The Price of Foolishness and its sequel (The Gift of Healing) is created with time pressure, because I hold myself to a very fast update schedule. As such, it is simply not as good as the art I could create with unlimited amounts of time. That isn't something I'm sad about! In fact, I'm proud of what I manage to create despite the ridiculous time pressure.

"Why do you subject yourself to ridiculous time pressure? You're not even super popular yet!"

Great question, imaginary asker! I didn't originally intend to hold myself to such crazy standards. I write at a fast pace and would upload once I was done. But as soon as one person mentioned that they loved that I kept such a quick schedule, well, it was over for me.

(I don't write much, if you can believe it; this fic, which I didn't even plan on writing, was the first piece of writing I ever posted online. It got attention, love, and support- way more than I anticipated! To put it bluntly, it feels good and I want more of it. As such, I keep a consistent schedule in order to keep one of the reasons that people love me.)

"I'm from AO3, and you talk so differently in the notes of your work! This feels odd. Why are you talking differently?"

Another great question, imaginary asker! It's because, as of now, my writing is not on Tumblr (I've seen fics on here, but I'd personally rather keep my work on AO3). I can be sillier in the notes of Price and Gift because my writing is there, and my writing is amazing. Because this blog will advertise my writing, I blog as if I am writing, to get across to everyone on Tumblr that my writing is amazing and they should check it out. If I blog with poor writing on my writer blog, people might assume things about my writing.

(Don't worry, this isn't a second personality! I'm still silly, I'm just in my writer mode. If you miss my silliness, then you like my personality and I'm comfortable being silly with you, but I'm blogging to the whole wide world, so.. no silliness in my posts, at least for the foreseeable future. Sorry, y'all.)

"Why are you answering the imaginary asker's questions instead of letting Tumblr users send you their questions in the form of asks? That's a thing they can do, you know!"

Yet another great question, imaginary asker! You're on a roll with these. Although it's true that Tumblr users with questions can send me asks- even anonymously- not every Tumblr user with a question sends that question as an ask. Unasked questions go unanswered, and unanswered questions can leave room for people to assume their own answers. Due to the delicate nature of my work, I do not want people to assume things about me. Therefore, I use the imaginary asker (a technique used by fanfiction authors at least as long ago as Plato) to answer up to three questions that I anticipate people may have. Why no more than three? Because otherwise, me and my AuDHD will go on and on. These posts can't be infinite!

If you've read all of this, congratulations! You're a juggernaut, I really appreciate it, and chances are that you like my writing. If I'm right about that last part, follow me here (and subscribe to my AO3 account) if you want more of it!

Remember to take care of yourselves and others, eat if you haven't already, and have a wonderful whenever! 💖

[salvatwh0re]

Sending as an anon since my loa blog is a secondary 👋 just a quick question and my little story <3

I was scrolling through your blog for a bit, how did you set your intention? Silly question I suppose, but I always forget. I’ve been in the void before, but I wasn’t completely sure- I doubted myself just a little because I was like “wait, really? am I? Is this the void?” And then I affirmed for longer until I left 😭

Your proof photos definitely motivated me LOTS! This morning after WEEKS of saying I’ll do my meditation and then falling asleep instead of meditating, I went back to my basics and put on two of my favorite videos. I restarted the meditation like twice because I kept moving, but I told myself, just like you said, that the void is accessible for EVERYONE and focused on my eyes (thought I probably forgot after a bit lol). Anyways, I also used a bit of daydreaming but I can’t really zone out on command when I daydream, but thanks to the background I did for a bit! I used my waves after and my body went numb and I definitely feel like I entered the void, I had a lapse in my consciousness so I know I didn’t just fall asleep but I wasn’t aware at the time.

Not really much more than a story and a little thanks for those photos! You reminded me that you don’t have to put some torturous, laborious work in for this and because of that, I was able to do two things I haven’t done in a VERY long time. I hope I can come to you with a success story soon! 🫶

Yay! I’m so happy for you

I understand the process of letting go of that desperation and doubt is hard, but in the end it’s necessary and you’ll realize how simple it is.

For me, I just thought of it as a mediation. When i felt like i was getting jittery or anxious i allowed myself to just get into a comfortable and drift off to sleep. I usually set my intention by affirming for a bit or just telling myself that i’m going to tap into the void state! If i start feeling drained or tired from the meditation (which rarely happens because i get so relaxed) I just turn off the subliminal and go to sleep with the intention of waking up in the void.