#I am also sad I didn't understand a lot of video game shit growing up

[clit-a-cola]

Girl on twitter posting comics about "transmasc dysphoria" and it's just about how she didn't get to play video games as a kid and that makes her sad

The added "this is totally not girls like x/boys like y" but then says it's upsetting to know video games weren't marketed towards her cause she wasn't a boy and it's like

I feel really bad for her but also it's like.....I can't understand not seeing the forest for the trees here like.....girl....

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

an anon in the midst of depression

something that really sucks is that rn i'm going thru The Depression of My Life and my parents don't seem to get it. i wish my mum would try to listen to what i say and not just make everything about her, you know? ever since she divorced my dad, everything bad is somehow about him and she is always the victim. it's really tiring. i am tired, really fucking tired. i try to see the bright side of things, but even reading fanfiction is hard for me right now. fuck, i can't shower or eat or even sleep right. i legit don't know what to do, how to go on. alone. if this is life, how do i live it? if this is how it's gonna be, i'd rather just drop dead.

idk just felt like letting this out of my chest. it's not your responsability.

(i've been watching euphoria and jk's euphoria started playing and my brain did a whole thing and i ended up here)

bye 👋🏻👋🏿

I'm writing this while listening to Spring Day.

I know what you're going through right now is not my responsibility. I know you didn't ask for advice. I don't think you sent this to even get an answer. XD I simply felt like saying something, so I hope you're fine with that.

To be honest, life doesn't have answers. It has a fucking lot of questions and you can choose to find answers too them... or not. You're not required to have an answer to everything. And you won't. That's the nature of living.

I wish I could tell you someone will "get it". It would be nice if someone could understand. Truth is, no one will get it. That's because there's only one you and only one life you live in your own way. No one can live your life for you. When you are no longer here, no one gets all the "good" or the "bad" you left behind. It simply disappears into nothing.

Your mother went through a divorce and the way she copes is to complain about her ex to her child. You happen to be there; you have familial ties / a sense of responsibility / financial needs / etc, so you are forced to listen. It's probably not the best thing for her to do, but it is easy. Everyone wants to take the easy way out. It's easy. Right or wrong, the path of least resistance usually wins. I don't know your mother. I don't think she's a bad person. She's tired, like you.

When I was going through the darkest time in my life, I too felt alone. I was alone. When you're there, you don't want anyone else to be there with you, in fear of lashing out at them, in fear of them feeling what you feel, in fear of believing that this is it, that you will never have the strength to walk forward again. Was it you who made yourself this weak, surely not, and you think it's something else, it has to be, but deep down you fear - what if this is me, what if this is all I am?

It's so hard when you realize that you are, indeed, alone.

But, you know, I'll tell you a secret.

Even if all these things are true, even if all these shadows are within you, it means that you can also be the light. The concept of darkness wouldn't exist unless the concept of light is true. Winter comes. It is freezing, everything dies, but spring will come too, and everything grows back, slowly.

I know it's true, because I was there too.

I'll tell you though, the light that you find is yours, well, it might not be what you expect. It might not be that grand. It might just be the simple happiness of eating the food you enjoy, playing video games you love, writing porn about seven guys in Korea that don't know you exist! XD

It's okay to live a simple life, to have your own morals, to feel happy or sad when there's no reason to, to laze about and feel not so great, to feel what you feel right now. Funnily enough, there might come a point to where you're tired of being depressed. At least that is what happened to me. I got to a point where I thought, what am I doing, so what if I'm weird and not quite right in the head and don't have any big aspirations? So fucking what? You can make mistakes, you can feel like shit, you can make bad choices and eat a whole box of family size Cheez-Its by yourself in only two days.

I mean... maybe don't let that be your brand...

But, also, I can't really stop you, can I? XD

You can just be, whatever you want, however you want, whoever you want. And maybe you are not where you want to be right now, but you can be tired, you can be sad, you can try again tomorrow, or in a couple hours, or whenever you're ready.

You can.

(I hope you heard that in Yoongi's voice. :D)

I made it. I think you can make it too, if you believe a little more. And, anytime you want, you can come here. We can watch the snow fall as we wait for your winter to pass, little by little.

[joelleechristaasblog]

Live, Love, Learn.

9/13/18

Valentine's day 2018❤

Now I know why it never worked with anyone else. It took you to open my eyes and realize what life really can be. Because of you I found me in some ways I needed to let go of who I was and I'm just glad you saw through all the bullshit. You knew that wasnt who I really was. I am a new person and shes much more likeable. I am a better person and it is all thanks to you for never giving up. Saying fuck and losing all hope in me like everyone else did. I wasn't a lost cause to you and that made me feel good about myself. Most people just used me for something they wanted and never treated me like a human being. So yes it was that easy for you. That's it, there was nothing more than treating me like a respectable girl. Not saying I'm easy because I'm not, despite others opinions. I'm a very clean person and now more than ever. I'm not that girl anymore, thank God she almost died. I never wanted to be her to begin with. But I have learned because of you who I was underneath the drugs and makeup. I just needed a little reminder.

You came into my life and ever since I have been so happy. Everyone has told me how different I look so it must be true cause we act like weve been together forever. Which truthfully it does feel that way and for me it's the best feeling knowing something this good happened to a sad girl like me. It was the beet thing that could've happen to me.I am alive and you're to thank for that. I know you love me more than anyone has just in the fact you were so patient for so long just for my attention, I had no idea it was so important to you. You valued me as a person when I didnt give a shit if I was alive or not. You always saw something spcial in me and I never knew why.

You are so sweet to me and I hope we continue to be happy like this forever because I cant get enough. I never want it to end and I'll make sure it doesnt. I want to marry you if you'll allow me to. I know marriage is a little scary for you right now but dont you worry ill be as patient as you were with me. I finally have someone that takes care of me in all ways imaginable and its so nice it is such a change of pace and it is so refreshing. I wouldn't trade this for the world. I cant wait to spend my entire life with you. When I look at you I know I'm okay, I believe in some God for bringing you to me.

Even though you can be an ass just like everyone else I still love everything about you. We both have a lot of growing to do together but I want to do with you and you only. I wanna see the world with you and have you always be my partner in crime. I cherish all the moments we spend together, hint, thats why I take so many photos. Sorry. You love it! It just documents our love and that makes me smile and it's also a plus we look amazing together. Like it was meant to be. Actually it was meant to be! All of it....even our arguments.

Our fights are never going to stop as long as we're both human. We will probably never agree on things like flavors of icecream or spicy ass chicken you tried to make me eat; to the seasons of the year. But all that makes everything worth it with you. We didn't start how normal couples do so I didn't expect you to be perfect in the slightest. But you do an amazing job at the adaptation of living with your girlfriend of a year and a half. I could only imagine how hard youre working to live with me.I am so proud of how well you've done. It hasn't taken you long at all and being an only child I know this isnt the easiest thing you've ever done. You make it seem so simple though. The cuddles are the best arent they? Sleeping with someone else is great huh? Until you sweat to death lol. So living with your girlfriend hasn't been all bad. Cuddles whenever you want! And feet rubs and someone to always heatup leftover dinner for you!

I love the things we share and even if you blow 200$ on video games and I dye my hair too much we always support one another(even if we give eachother shit). If we didnt give eachother shit it wouldn't be as fun. You might be cheap and froogle but that what makes you, you and i think it's kinda cute sometimes.

I am also thankful it didnt work out with anyone else. Could you imagine me as a red neck? Thank God you saved me. You saved me from more than just rednecks, you saved me from drugs, stripping and dying. But more importantly you saved me from myself. So thank you. I can be a very dark scary bitch. I feel like I don't thank you enough. I know I get on your nerves sometimes but someones got to, but also again, thank you for putting up with me and all my baggage. I know its alot to ask for, I just hope my love will be enough to keep you forever. Youve changed my life I hope I've changed yours too.

What or who has changed your life?

My changes have all been positive! I hope all of yours are too. Change is so important in life sometimes you need a drastic change in order to move on or change who you are as a person and I did that because of you! So youre more important than you think. Youre the most important thing in my life! I value you and all of your opinions. I love the changes weve gone through together.

Time flies when youre in love and having fun. Everyday is a new blessing, I see life differently now because of you. No one has cared this much about me and my health and everything. I know youre by my side through it all and with you I can face anything. I really seriously am this cheesy yes. Dont judge me.

It's not always easy working with your partner, then add living together ontop of it and you've got a double whammy. I know I can get annoying and it feels like you can never get away so for that I understand why you snap off on me sometimes. Fighting is never easy but most people get to get away from eachother during some points of the day, but not us. So there's no doubt that somedays we'll be down each other's throats.

When you meet someone and you know there's something special about them. Keep them close love like this only comes once in a lifetime. A single moment can change your life and you changed mine, it all started with a kiss...

A kiss so powerful it overtook my entire body and ill never forget that night. I learned alot that night, it started as a bad night but then you came and saved the day. I am so glad you did and even though I was a bitch to you earlier you still over looked all that and came and saved me. I wouldve been screwed without you.

That night you kissed me under the lights at sheetz and it was the most passionate kiss I had ever experienced. There was sparks and it felt so natural kissing you. Like we were little kids and nothing else mattered besides kissing you. We kissed 100 more times that night. It was nice to feel like a child again playing and swinging at that playground it all started at.

Somethings in life you want to block out and forget but everything I do with you I will remember forever. Our time together is precious and ill never take a moment for granted. I love you Jonathan Lewis. Please take me as I am now and forever? It might seem selfish to wanna stay this happy but I hope you feel the same so it wont actually be selfishness. Itll be mutual, well love eachother how were supposed to be loved. I love you with all of me! I never wanna forget our love so please stay with me forever so I don't have to go without you. Kay thanks!

What do you love unconditionally?

Sincerly yours,

Joelle❤