#I am a little rusty though since it's been a while since I last did any writing

[cadrenebula]

Prompt #1: Envoy

(Time period is set around the start of Heavensward.)

Nebula wasn't sure what had drawn them to the frozen north after they had set out from their home. Not that they had been drawn to Coerthas right away. That would have been folly. Especially as unprepared as Nebula had been for the frozen temperatures.

Maybe it was the many stories they had heard of Lady Iceheart. Some part of Nebula felt the ones deemed as Heretics by Ishgard were not quite as the stories told. That the whole war between man and dragon had to have more to the story than the side told by man. Especially the side told by the Ishgardian Church of all things. Some part of Nebula felt that the Church painted the picture in their favor but they had no proof. Only feelings. Their feelings were rarely wrong. Fate always had plans and if this is where Nebula was to go, then to the north they would head.

Perhaps it was just their upbringing. They had been raised to be the leader of their clan in time once mother stepped down. Sometimes one needed to be able to see both sides with open eyes and not blindly trust stories being told. Maybe that was what drew them north. To see and learn in order to help them one day be a better leader for their people.

Nebula had picked what had seemed like an old camp to take a break at. Unsure who used this camp but it was long cold. Karma floated about acting as guard while Nebula rested, letting their familiar keep an eye for signs of trouble. Rubbing their upper arms as they tried to ward off the biting cold. Trying to use their magic a little to keep the warmth in their clothes as the logs slowly burned to cast heat from the small campfire.

Ears twitched as Karma froze for a moment before snarling softly. The nixie shaped familiar shifting forms to that of a shadow beast. Nebula stood to face whatever Karma was sensing approaching them. "We mean no harm if this is your camp we have borrowed. You are welcome to join me at my fire."

"You're trespassing. Hand over your belongings and begone."

Nebula sighed softly as they shook their head. They could only assume the trio were either bandits or heretics. None wore the colors or knights clothes of Ishgard and one of it's Houses. Maybe it was possible to use these three if they were indeed heretics. If they were bandits? Sadly Nebula would do what they needed to stay alive even if they did not enjoy killing poor unfortunate souls. After all this part of the world was hard for those with no status. That much they remembered being told.

"I'm afraid I carry very little you would be interested in or that would make your lives better in any way." Nebula shrugged as they forced a smile at the trio. "Though if you happen to be those branded as Heretics, I would like to talk to your leader. I have no ties to Ishgard as I am but a traveler from the deep woods of the Shroud. I would also advise against trying to attack me for that would result in Karma jumping to my defense and I fear that would mean your deaths."

The trio looked between themselves, talking in hushed angry tones. One of them, a mage perhaps judging by their clothes, was pointing towards Karma in warning to their friends. Their expressions did not look happy when they looked back towards the viera awaiting their answer.

"Lady Iceheart is too busy to deal with the likes of you. Call off your beast and we'll take you to Lady Gwyneira. She can decide your fate unless you'd rather die out here instead." The spear wielder snorted as he sneered at Nebula. "Cause I'm willing to take my chances against your beast." His one hand fingering a vial of something on his belt.

Nebula sighed as they waved a hand in Karma's direction. "Then let us go see Lady Gwyneira." Karma letting out one more low growl at the trio before shrinking back down in size from the large shadow beast and becoming once more the innocent looking nixie.

More than once on their path through the ice and snow did Karma growl threateningly at the trio if they tried to touch Nebula.

[moonknixght]

Jerk [Marc Spector x GN!Reader]

Summary: Despite having plans for a date with you after meeting with his ex-wife, Marc seems to have suddenly gone off communication, leaving you to be a bundle of nerves until you decided to call him. Heavily inspired by episode 3 of scenes from a marriage. Word Count: 2k Warnings: Angst with no comfort !!!!!!!!! foul language, Steven cameo (that's a sweet surprise than a warning), no mention of jake A/N: Gosh! I apologize for being super late with this one,, this was meant to be a drabble but i got carried away lol. And I'm a little rusty with writing atm, so don't look at me if the writing feels a lil wonky. though, Constructive Criticism is greatly appreciated! PS; The ex-wife mentioned in this is NOT layla its some other lady because we love layla in this household

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

The drawn out rings of the phone was slowly aiding to a upcoming migraine as you paced between rooms, silently praying that you would get an answer to your frantic texts. A rather uneventful Friday night that you expected to spend with the person you were recently seeing, an unpredictably mysterious man, had come to an abrupt stop.

There was a lot you didn't know about Marc Spector; and that was okay, because it was just the process of 'getting to know someone' was, right? Sure, You had rambled your head off on the first date, all which he listened carefully; but with Marc, you never felt the need to push information out of him. It was like befriending an fragile animal that takes time to trust, but the epiphany that comes after is unexplainably amazing.

Growing from acquaintances to actually seeing each other and looking forward to spending time as a couple was unrealistic, which was why your entire relationship was so fascinating. The patience of talking things out was a quality that you both shared; likely being the reason of such a bond with each other. If anyone would listen, you would never stop talking about how perplexing that was.

As you both started building a line of trust, You came to learn that he was divorced and was in the process of sorting things out with his ex-lover— which, of course, you were fine with. And today, he had mentioned about her coming over, which you were also on board with. But with the plans that were arranged for today still being overdue and Marc falling off the face of earth, you couldn't help but feel.. jealous? worry, even?

It was exactly why you were frantically texting your boyfriend, questioning on where he was and if his ex-wife had taken her leave. The only response that you received was being left entirely on delivered, adding fuel to your already anxious state. You felt like you were just being extremely clingy— and that they were probably still talking.

Your gaze travelled to the clock. 15 minutes to 1 am. Holy fuck. Had you really been texting him for over an hour? Had it been over two hours since you had set your dinner table, waiting for him? The latest that Marc had promised he would be was by 10:30, so it was just utterly ridiculous that it was past midnight and he was still unresponsive.

Swiftly grabbing the unopened bottle of wine kept on your table and making it to the couch, You set your phone down on the coffee table as you took a swing of the drink. It was crazy how this entire thing had gotten you so riled up, but as much as you hated to admit it, you were head over heels for this guy. So committed infact, that you were desperately checking on him for the past two hours; that you haven't even had your own dinner yet. One last call. Maybe he'll pick up.

That was the words that your guilty conscious prompted while you sat in the uncomfortable silence, eyes falling on the phone that lay discarded on the table. Obviously, you were going to feed into your thoughts. Of course you did.

And much to your surprise, it only took three rings to connect to the voice that you were just waiting to hear— but it didn't take you long to notice that it came off in a growl, much to the contrast of the soft spoken tone that Marc usually carried.

"Marc?" "Hey." You let out a sigh of relief, shaking your head ever so slightly at your own frantic actions. Atleast he was doing okay. "Are you okay? Where have you been? I've been—"

"Good. Uh, yeah, but listen, it's not cool to, like, bombard me with messages."

There was a short pause where you sat slightly bewildered. before you felt yourself sink into the seat, like a child who had just been scolded. Even with guilt creeping up, You wanted to still defend your own case, which was the endless worrying you had endured for the past hour, waiting for anything from Marc. Just a simple notice to cancel their date for the night or even to say that he was okay. But instead, You were simply left in the dark.

"Because you were supposed to call me, Marc."

"I told you, I'd call you when she left." "Oh, so she hasn't gone yet?" "No, She hasn't. She's still here." Sipping from the glass of wine and setting it onto the table nearby, your mind was quick to rush into many conclusions, but you kept your mouth shut. Whatever they had to discuss must have been really important. "Isn't it late? How are you both still talking?" "No, She— She's in bed." An exhale could be heard from the other end, as your brows furrowed. In bed? Marc lived in a single bedroom, so did that mean he was taking the couch? But before you could even question it, it was like the male at the other end had almost read your mind, because he immediately cleared your doubts, Albeit, you would have wished he never said anything. "..My bed." Oh. Feeling betrayed and lost would be an understatement of how you currently felt. Confused even, to some extend as a steady silence began to occupy the call. You weren't quite sure how Marc wanted you to respond to that. Did he want to hear you weep from the other side? Or be upset at him? Maybe even yell a few select choices of words for wasting your time? But instead of any of that, pure silence rang through the call and if it weren't for Marc checking if the call was still running, he would've thought you hung up. "Hello?"

The feeling of being let down was coursing through your veins at this point, making itself obvious with the lump that grew in your throat and how you stiffened up in your seat. You weren't sure what exactly to feel, a floodgate on sadness and anger opening like it was a pent up dam that was released. You sniffled quietly, trying to bite back the tears that were pricking at the corner of your eyes. It was unfair how distraught you felt. Another audible exhale could be heard, before you heard Marc's voice again. You weren't even sure why you felt like crying, but it was clear that this wouldn't end well. "Look, I'm suggesting that we should take a break because this is just not.. Not working out right now." "When did it work out, Marc?" "Wh— What are you talking about?" "I said." You spoke, recollecting yourself in a suspiciously gentle manner. "When were you not trying to use me as a way to move on?"

It was his turn to grow silent, and that was pretty much the answer you needed. To think that you gave him the chance, thinking that maybe this time around you could actually be with someone who cared— There were no other words to describe what you've been this entire time. You were foolish. "Goodnight. Sleep well." You'd be lying if you said that you didn't still want him to come back to you. Justify himself properly. Say that this was all some sick joke. But you were also aware that there was probably nothing that would save this. Still, You stayed when he spoke up again, for whatever reason. "Stop. Just Listen. This doesn't have to be.. what you think it is, I just need time to collect myself and honestly, I've been feeling for a while that—"

The urge to laugh was overbearing, and you didn't hold back. "You're so full of shit, Marc." Anger was finally settling in before the male at the other end could even respond to your words, but this wasn't about being courteous anymore. It felt like if Marc had cared for you even a little, this wouldn't have happened like it did. "Own up to what you're doing, asshole. I know you like to evade your responsibilities but just for once, if you have any respect for me, stand up like a man and say it to my face so I can just accept the fact that I've wasted my time and effort on you."

"Okay, Let me stop you here before you say anything else that you're gonna regret."

"No, fuck you. The only thing I regret is thinking that you actually cared enough to be with me. Turns out, your only concern is keeping yourself occupied and acting like you don't give a shit about everything that leaves you. You're a selfish prick."

"Fine. It's over then."

"Good. Lose my number and Have a good fucking night, Spector." The call was immediately cut, and so was the brightness of the candle that you had lit earlier by the dinner table. The dimness eased your volatile temper, but it bought the dejection and uneasiness that had failed to show up during the call. There was an option for you to cry it all out, but for reason, you didn't. A soft sigh escaped your pursed lips as you rubbed your eyes. Maybe you'd end up bawling your eyes out about this when you were nestled into the cold embrace of your bed.

You didn't even feel hungry anymore; so shoving the pasta that you had cooked hours prior into the fridge and cleaning up, you tried your best not to think of everything that just happened, which was difficult in it's own volition. It was just a few dates, so you were technically the one in the wrong for letting your guard down so easily and falling for a man who barely talked to you. That conclusion stung a little, but it helped you feel better as you picked up your phone and the bottle of wine again— too exhausted to take off the gorgeous outfit you had picked out for the night as you opened tinder; trying to scroll away like you were gonna move on.

—

On the other side, Marc had made the mistake of pacing through his room as he made the call, biting his cheeks as it reached it's abrupt and upsetting end. Guilt did lace his features, but reminding himself that this was the last he would ever hear from you made the circumstances a little less horrible. Glancing at the phone as his thumb hovered over your contact, He heard a meek voice call out to him. Not that of his ex-wife, but that of Steven's— who had seen everything from the reflection of the mirror that Marc found himself standing before. "Marc.." The reflection called out to him, a clearly disappointed expression lacing his features as he tried to find the words to even begin expressing how regrettable this would be. Steven didn't have to elaborate, though, because in the few seconds that Marc met Steven's concerned eyes, he knew this would just add into the contrition that already plagued his mind.

Marc tore himself away from Steven who made a lowly attempt at trying to reason with him; walking back to where he had just been previously. It was because Steven knew, and so did he, that he found what it felt like to be loved again through you. But he was undeserving of it. With everything he has done and all the secrets that he hid, he only deserved the toxic relation he had with his ex, which atleast kept his needs at bay; a fair trade for all the arguments he had with her. You were right about him being a selfish jerk. Though it was for all for the wrong reasons.

[alessioa]

hey, do you think you could write another Georgia stanway one where Georgia wakes up with really bad pain in her stomach and she’s goes to hospital etc and it turns out to be appendicitis and needs surgery? Again sorry if it’s odd, hope you can write it, don’t feel you have to though x

Appendicitis

Georgia Stanway x Reader

Hello, I know it's been a while. But I am back. Thank you for the request and whoever sent this I hope you will read it as it was sent quite a while ago. Sorry about that :(

It has been a while since I last wrote so I may be a little rusty but I've done my best and I hope you will enjoy

Masterlist

TW: Vomiting, talk of surgery, appendicitis, hospital

Sun was just shining through the window in their bedroom. The golden rays warming their naked skin. You began to stir as the light disturbed your sleep. You reached out to the space on the bed next to you. It was cold, meaning that your girlfriend had not been in bed for quite a while.

Groggily you began to move, sitting up. Your moves were sluggish, body still laced with tiredness from just waking up. Looking around the room you could not find her, but you could see the light coming from the slit in the door.

So you put your feet on the cool floor. A vast difference to your warm skin. Shuffling across the floor towards the bathroom you could hear someone throwing up.

“Georgia, love, you alright?” you asked before you reached the door. Once you were there you pushed open the door. The sight of your girlfriend hunched over the toilet bowl throwing up shocked you.

She was still in her pajamas. Her hair hanging dangerously close to her face. So you rushed to sit next to her. Kneeling so you would be on the same lever as her. Georgia hadn’t acknowledged your presence yet.

But as she moved forward towards the toilet to throw up once again you grabbed her hair, pulling it out of the way to make sure she didn’t dirty it. She was clearly sobbing. Tear stains were present on her cheeks and her eyes were bloodshot.

“How are you, love?” You asked once again when she finally stopped pouring her guts out. Georgia turned to face you. She looked pained and you got worried. You had never seen her this bad, even after the injures she had picked up on the football pitch.

“Not good” Georgia sobbed and curled up against you, hands clutching her abdomen. “It hurts” she continued. It was as if she was having a hard time talking. You put your hand on her forehead to feel her temperature as she was sweating even though the bathroom was colder than it usually was. She was burning up.

“You know that I’ve told you to wake me up if somethings wrong? Right love?”

“I didn’t want to bother you at first. And now it hurts too much to get up.” she whispered. Scared that you would be angry. Of course you weren’t, just worried that you had found her in such a bad state.

“Love what hurts.” You were worried and wanted to figure out what was wrong, being a doctor symptoms like this could be signs that something was not as it should be. Very high temperatures and vomiting were never good.

“My stomach” it came out as a whimper. That did certainly not help your worry. You pried her arms off you.

“Where baby? Where does it hurt, can you show me?” Now you definitely needed to know as your first thoughts was something like appendicitis or alike.

She didn’t answer in words. Instead she just pointed to her lower right side of her abdomen. Your mind raced. This was not good, not at all. All of her symptoms were ones consistent with appendicitis.

“Fuck, that’s not good. We have to get into the hospital.” You said. Rushing to get Georgia some better clothes suited for the cold weather outside. You pulled out a sweater and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. You helped her put them on before collecting the car keys and helping her out the door.

It was hard with her being in so much pain but she had to get in to the closest hospital, which also happened to be the one you worked at. So while staring the car you also pulled out your phone to call some of your colleagues who you knew were working. They knew you didn’t call if it wasn’t important. So when you called it only took a few signals before they picked up.

“Hey Dori, I know it’s not the ideal situation now. You know Georgia? Well she is presenting symptoms of appendicitis. Could you maybe set up a room and get everything ready for us? We will be there in about 3 minutes.” Once you got everything confirmed and ready for you, you said your goodbyes and hung up.

When you got to the hospital you brought Georgia in through the ER and just as you had hoped for, they were ready to take her in. A bed was there for her to get onto. So you helped her onto it. She had been very quiet since you found her in the bathroom.

You had never seen Georgia so lost. Looking into her eyes it was clear that she was disassociating to try and ease the pain she was feeling. So you grabbed her hand. She tilted her head and looked at you.

“Hey, you will be fine. It will all be over soon. They will have to take you into a room, and you may need surgery” you explained. But once you saw her terrified look you squeezed her hand even harder. “I will be here when you wake up if you do need surgery. I promise, my love.” You continued. She relaxed a bit at your assurance.

“I love you”

“I love you too, Georgia. Now they are going to take you to a room, You know Dori. Right?” You asked and motioned to the nurse stood next to Georgia. Ready to wheel her away. “She will take good care of you. I trust her. She’s great and you are in great hands.” You smiled.

Your moment was broken by Dori telling you that they needed to get her into a room. So you squeezed her hand once more before they began to wheel her bed away. You smiled at her until she was out of view.

That was when you broke out sobbing. You had put up your doctor facade because you had to be brave for your girlfriend. But now that she couldn’t see you anymore you couldn’t keep it up anymore. It was quite a chock to your colleagues working around the room. Usually you were a well composed person, never one to be known for breaking down. Not even after a especially hard loss or alike.

But now your girlfriends life may be in danger, the one person you loved was sick and you could not take it. But your colleagues decided not to let you sit on the floor of the ER sobbing so one of them helped you out and into an office where someone put a cup of bad coffee in front of you.

You picked the coffee up and slowly sipped on it. Trying to come back to reality.

“Georgia will be fine. Just as you said, she is in great hands. They confirmed that it was appendicitis and she is being prepped for surgery now.” Your colleague explained. You knew that your girlfriend would be fine, with experienced surgeons doing the surgery and that it was quite a low risk one.

“You can see her once she’s out of surgery and waking up. But for now just try to calm down. Georgia will be fine.” They continued on talking to you as you did not answer them.

[heymeowmao]

2024.04.08 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325020940722634974

bgm: 世世 (Lifetime) - The Legend of Shen Li OST

LYN: Hallo everybody, long time no see! Long time no see. Hold on a sec. It’s been so long that the equipment feels unfamiliar. I know it’s been, truly, a long time since I streamed last. Um... my apologies. C: The equipment turned rusty? LYN: It’s not to that extent. My equipment’s the best.

C: I climbed the wall (left the fandom), da-ge. LYN: What does that mean…? You don’t need to climb walls to watch my stream. You can just watch on your bed or on a chair- sitting, lying down- it’s all good. Sit on your sofa. You don’t need to climb walls to watch. LYN: I can’t believe you would climb the wall. Here in my circle, if you want to climb the wall, you can just climb silently. Okay? You can climb the walls silently- you don’t need to tell me. I have a lot of fans, and many of whom have stayed with me for a long time. If one day you tell me, “Ning-ge, I don’t want to be your fan anymore. I’ll go be a fan of someone else.” Let’s arrange this in advance- you don’t need to tell me. That’s the first thing. The second thing is: you don’t need to tell other fans, either. Ok? Can you do that? What we want is a genial coming and a genial separation. You can do that right, friends? You don’t need to tell me and you don’t need to tell other fans. You don’t need to make it clear, then leave. There’s no need. LYN: There’s a song that goes, “Break up with decency, and no one has to say sorry.” (体面 (Decency) by Kelly Yu) -- 体面 (Decency) LYN: I really forgot how to sing this song. Excuse me. But you get the point. If one day you decide to climb the wall or window, it doesn’t matter. Maintain some decency. Thank you.

bgm: 撞地球 (Earth Collision) by Yu Er Qi C: How come you suddenly came to stream? LYN: I just got back to Hengdian and I think it’s only right that the first thing I do is come meet you. I know we haven’t met up in a while and you all miss me. 

C: Have you eaten? LYN: Today I sort of started in my new crew and I’ve been training in martial arts. Before training I had two pieces of toast, so I’m good. C: Do you have a lot of fight scenes? LYN: It’s not a little, in any case. It’s a guzhuang drama. I’ve had few roles in guzhuang dramas where I didn’t have a fight scene. For the most part, I always have to fight. But my previous drama (ZLYM) has less- not too many scenes, maybe two or three. But this drama has a fair amount more fight scenes. I’ve also played a role where I didn’t have any fight scenes - Luo Mingxi. He was a civilian court official. He just talked to people all day, and didn’t have to fight. I didn’t have to fight or ride horses. So I dodged the bullet there, but little did I know that the next drama after that- TXJ- was nothing BUT fight scenes. Life is just like that: the amount of work you have to do is fixed. If you’re lazy to begin with, you have to make it all up later. It’s okay, though. I think the more fight scenes is considered as a challenge for me. Why am I training before officially entering the crew? Because I feel like my skills have regressed. I didn’t have many fight scenes in my previous drama so I want to train again and regain some coordination. Since I’m so tall and all. My coordination is not the greatest so I wanted to acclimate first. It’ll save me from holding the drama back. 

C: Then, Ning-ge, do you live in this drama? LYN: /laughs/ /sighs/ LYN: It’s undecided whether I die or not in this drama. No- not “undecided”, I just can’t tell you. Of the dramas I’ve landed roles in, my death rate is really… Except for the modern dramas, my death rate in guzhuang dramas has reached 80%. I don’t know what it is. Just coincidence? But in this one, I probably don’t. I’m not sure. LYN: I think it’s fine to come to your end when the right time comes. From one perspective, it’s a goodbye to the character. From another, it will make the viewers remember the character. Of all the dramas I’ve done there was never any intention to shoot a sequel, so it doesn’t really matter if I died or not. C: Ning-ge, if you die you’ll get a red envelope. LYN: Usually there’s only 5-10rmb in there. When you’re shooting a drama and your character dies the crew will prepare a red envelope for you. To ward off the negative energy. Because even if you’re just shooting a drama, if you’re playing a character who dies, it’s not very auspicious. So they will prepare a red envelope for you to wash away the negative energy and let you walk away “clean”.

C: When will you stop streaming? LYN: It’s hard to say. I’ll just stream a while and when I’m tired, I’ll leave. Ok?

C: I’m in class. LYN: It’s ok- take your class. There’s always the stream playback and you can watch it when you’re done learning in class.There’s nowhere for me to run, anyway. C: How could you ask him when he’s leaving when it’s only just started?? LYN: Yeah! If you don’t want to watch the playback, then turn the notifications on and next time when I stream you won’t miss it. Also in the early stages when I’m preparing to join the drama- that includes script readings and etc- during this time I have a higher probability of streaming. So in the next few days I probably won’t stream just this once. I’ll do a few more so, you can subscribe to my weibo. When I start streaming you won’t miss it. Watching the livestream is better (than playback) though, because there’s this sense of cooperation. I think that’s one of the charms of a livestream- I can see all the comments that you’re typing.

C: What a large pie. LYN: That’s enough. I’m here now, aren’t I? It’s not like I’m not streaming AT ALL. If it went a bit longer without me streaming, you can say that about me. But I’m here today! I’m very conscientious! As soon as I have time- GA!- I start streaming. 

bgm: 热辣滚烫 (YOLO) - YOLO movie OST

C: Are you wearing a hat because you didn’t wash your hair? LYN: No, it’s because I’m balding. I don’t have any hair up here and what you see now is a hair piece. I bought fake bangs. If I take this off it’ll look like a Qing dynasty drama. You know what that is, right? The front top is all bald and starting from here (back) they leave a braid. I look like that. Another thing is- even if I WERE to act in a Qing drama, they’d think my hair is too little. They’d have take off a little more- my hairline is right here. So it’s not that I haven’t washed my hair. C: You shampoo spokesmanship has ended, right? LYN: … Oh, yeah! I’m still L’Oreal’s brand spokesman. I have their hair and makeup products. Friends- that part just now was just a joke. It’s because I haven’t used L’Oreal’s product to wash my hair today. So my hair is a bit oily. I’m wearing a hat to cover it up. C: Oh no, Ning-ge. You’re going to lose your spokesmanship. LYN: Don’t speak nonsense!! Are you cursing me?

----- ground rules for new fans

C: Ning-ge, can you hit me? LYN: !! Come here, come here. /grabs a water bottle and smacks it across the “mouth”/ Shut up! LYN: Don’t you dare try to provoke me in my own stream. LYN: Let me tell you friends, it’s like this. I always joke about this. I say- It’s been about six years since I’ve debuted and I don’t have many new fans. I always say that I don’t have new fans. But now, after a few of my dramas have aired, I realize that there IS a group of new fans out there. There are, and I can feel it now. How can I feel it? When? It’s because my old fans and I have this feeling of mutual respect between us. We respect each other. I respect them, and they respect me. They would never come to provoke me. Very rarely, at least. There are very few of them who would call me “husband.” A lot of fans like to call their idols “husband” and the like, but we don’t do that here. If sometimes they shout a few times, it’s only them testing it out but otherwise they maintain decency. We’re returning to that word again, “decent.”

LYN: But I found out that there are a group of new fans- it was at the ZLYM drama wrap fan support event. I went to greet you all, right? I discovered a problem. There were a few of you who would reach out and grab my hands. Usually I just wave at you. They reached directly for my hands, to touch me. In that moment I was a bit stunned. It’s been a really long time since I experienced that- I was touched. Someone took advantage of me! No, not to that extent, because it’s not as if I am very expensive, but- what happened to the boundary between us? At the last fan support there were at least two or three people, if I remember correctly, who grabbed my hand. Here, anything is fine as long as you don’t start getting handsy. Ok? I’m sure that there are many new fans watching my stream. We have rules here, and one of them is: Don’t touch. Don’t get handsy, ok? I can out my trust in you and come closer to you, but don’t touch. Remember that. That’s the first thing. 

LYN: The second thing is- a lot of my old fans know- I’ve said this before. If you’re greeting me, it doesn’t matter if you’re at the airport or on the street, if you say something like, “Oh, Hello Ning-ge! What a coincidence!” or something of the like, that’s okay. But don’t grab your phone. The thing I hate the most is when people are like this: /brandishing their phone, watching him THROUGH IT, and talking at him trying to get a good shot./ You think you’re a reporter?? Sometimes I even suspect that the next thing you’ll say is, “Ning-ge, what is your most favorite out of the roles you’ve played?” I feel like you’re trying to INTERVIEW me. There’s no need. If you want to say “Hi” to me, then do it. If you want to record me, then don’t say anything. Ok? When you call me usually I’ll turn back to look. But when I turn back to see that you’re recording me, I just feel like… a tool. My purpose is so that you can get a shot of  me “turning back and crying.” It feels like that. I don’t really like it. If you want to record me, then don’t call out for me. If you call out for me, then greet me properly- like how friends on equal footing would communicate. Ok?

LYN: Another thing is, in public settings, please don’t call me “husband.” It’s really shallow! Is our relationship really that shallow? I don’t want it to be! Let’s not play that game. We’re just good friends, here. Right, ‘fam? Don’t call me that. If you do and some passerby hears/sees, what are they going to think of us?? Let’s not be like that. What are you doing shouting that on the street? What if someone records it and sends it to your mother?? Someone gets a video of you and uploads it online, where your mother comes across it and then thinks, “My daughter is out here doing WHAT??” See if she’ll smack you when you get home or not. C: Post it. My mother would be so happy she could die. LYN: /laughs/ I’ll send it to your father! Let him hit you!

LYN: I know I said this in a joking manner, but despite that, if we get a chance to meet in the future, don’t touch. Don’t grab me. Thank you. I… I mind these things. It’s not that don’t like you all, I just... don’t think there’s a need. C: (No hands?) Then, lips. LYN: … LYN: It’s like this. I’m pretty tall. When I’m wearing shoes I’m probably taller than 1.9m. The average woman’s height is around 1.65m. My leg, if I lift it, can reach up to around 1.65m. And then, if you come over with your lips, and I happen to lift my leg… My legs are around 1.13m long. If I lift then kick out- like this- If I kick you on the mouth, I think you can get sent flying around 1.75m out. It’s possible that your head hits the floor first. So, please be aware of your safety. Try not to come at me with your lips. You’d get sent flying to around 1.75m-1.85m away. Let’s not struggle with the exact distance. Keep that in mind. Thank you.

-----

C: Ning-ge, your legs are 122cm long. LYN: No, they’re not that long. We don’t need to embellish ourselves like that. They’re not that long- it’s just because I’m wearing shoes. It’s the angle of that picture- I know which one you’re talking about. There was a 1.22m tall divider, right- it makes it look like I’m very tall but it’s just because my shoes were thick to begin with. Also, honestly, I don’t see the need to fight for height. There’s no way I can be considered short or get any shorter, so there’s no need for me to go around boasting about how long my legs are. That’s not something we market. I don’t want to create that image- that I’m full of myself. “Wow, Ning-ge’s legs are 1.22m~!” I’m only 1.9m tall- is my upper body only .7m in length?? Not even .7, is it more .6? What am I?? Am I the top of a millstone?? Just like with the beads, my upper body must of be of the short variety. Like a pumpkin seed? There’s no way it’s that short. There’s no need to fight about it, because it’s true that I am quite tall but as long as it’s proportionate, that’s enough. We don’t need to go out and advertise that my legs are 1.22m long. That’s terrifying. Let’s not market me like that. I can’t stand that type of image.

bgm: 穿越回忆奔向你 (Run Through Memories Towards You) - Sword and Fairy 1 OST

C: /asks about the photos at Disney/ LYN: They were photoshopped. You think we wouldn’t need to edit them, a little? It’s necessary. Otherwise I wouldn’t be presentable. 

--- The Truth S2

C: When does The Truth start? LYN: Probably around… the end of April? I’m not exactly sure. I heard that it would air at the end of April. I hope it can happen, in any case. I know they’re already editing. We’ve shot two episodes already. Wait- how many is it? /thinks/ It should be four episodes. 

C: Do you still think it’s scary? // I thought you said it wasn’t? LYN: I know I’m up in age, but I am still very innocent/naive. Not to say that I maintain any sense of childish innocence, but I was truly too naive. /jokingly/ I wet myself. LYN: I hope that- because there’s this thing that wraps around your waist and there’s a stick that holds the camera up, facing you. Like a GoPro, recording your reactions. I hope the resolution on that is pretty low, otherwise you’ll realise that I’m close to tears. I couldn’t stop my saliva, so it came out through my eyes. It feels like that. LYN: When we were recording the first episode, I think the crew was trying to test what our limits were. I know you’ve seen online- we were holding lanterns. That’s not something in the actual episode itself. I think the crew was using that to test our courage and see how much we could take. From level 1-5. Then for example, if you already can’t take Level 1, or me- when I got to Level 5 and I passed out. I was scared out of my wits. If the crew thinks that at that level the later recordings won’t go smoothly, they might choose to replace you with someone else. They’ll ask another guest to come play. The first episode is five levels of terror, as a test. If you happen to pass out during the test, they’ll switch you out with someone else. They’ll ask another artist to go. Or, if you get so scared you start spitting white foam and are sent to the emergency room, they’ll ask someone to step in. If you pass out in the middle of recording, then it’s difficult to continue the episode. That would be a production error, so they tested us first. LYN: It’s a good thing that I made it through. I only cried.

C: Ning-ge, are you also Liu Xialai (留下来; to stay/remain) this time around? LYN: No. I’m called “Liu Yanlei” (流眼泪; to shed tears) now. /laughs/

LYN: I’ve already worked with The Truth production crew once before, right? So my expectation from them is that they cut out the parts of the episode where I was so scared I cursed out loud. I don’t care if they show me crying- they can air that. It’s not shameful. That’s a real reaction. But all they need to do for me is to cut out my cursing. 

---

C: Ning-ge, is your nose is okay? LYN: It’s okay. I bumped it a little when I went to record for Hello Saturday, but it’s okay. It’s all good.

C: Why the sudden stream? LYN: I came back (to Hengdian) today, so I decided I would stream a while. It’s been a long time since we’ve met, so I came to see you. 

LYN: I’m going to stream more in the coming days, for sure. Don’t worry. I am not creating more pies. I will definitely stream more, and why? Because I still want to have the honor of receiving Weibo’s “2024 Livestream King” award. I need it, so don’t worry. For my career, I will stream more. To me, the Weibo Livestream King award is truly precious. 

C: Is the album finished? LYN: When I went to Beijing this time, I recorded one. Now I’m just missing a couple more. /laughs/ Why am I always missing some?? Songs are just so hard to find! I’m not a songwriter, so it’s hard for me to come across a song that I like. It’s not because I have high standards! High or low doesn’t matter, what matters is that I have to like the song. I have to like it, or there has to be something about it that speaks to me. If I can’t find something that I think works, then I don’t see a need to release the song. It’s rare for me to release an album, so at the very least I want to release songs that I like on it. I don’t care if the songs are popular or not- that’s not my priority. I just want to like the songs, and think they sound nice. That’s all I want. But there’s always something… LYN: The other day I picked a song that I liked. When you listen to it, it makes you happy. C: You were missing two the last time. LYN: Yeah, I’m still missing two now. I chose another song the other day and the lyrics are being written for it, since the original demo was in English.

C: I’ve liked you for 155 days now. If you don’t “flip” (respond) to me… LYN: /unbothered/ What are you going to do about it? What if I don’t respond to you?

LYN: Everyone, you’ve been watching The Legend of Shen Li, right? The song I played earlier, too, is from Sword and Fairy 1 (YJXY) which is another drama that’s been airing lately. If you have time you can watch the drama. It’s from Sword and Fairy/Chinese Paladin, which I really like. I used to play the game when I was younger; I play it now, too. Sword and Fairy 1 through 7. I’ve played it all. When you have time you can check out YJXY  as well as YFX. It’s a drama worth watching, for sure. When they were still shooting, I even went to visit the set. LYN: I went to visit friends, but it was a nice opportunity for me to check out the set. Mainly I was there to chat with the director (Deng Ke). While we were chatting he played a bit of the drama for me and I thought it was really good. So friends, if you don’t have any dramas to watch, you can check out YFX. 

C: So were you there to see ZLY, or the director? LYN: Originally- I was originally there... to see ZLY. Because we’d long made plans for me to go see her, since we’re all in Hengdian. It’s not actually a whole big ordeal to go visit other sets like you might be thinking. There’s not a lot of preparation involved. We’re really just wandering around. If you have some time, you just go visit. We’re “visiting the set” in name, but honestly we’re just there to be an onlooker. There’s not much of an etiquette to it, like buying milk tea or some beverages for the crew. Honestly, it’s not as if they’re not hurting for a drink. You’re really just wandering around. “Visitng the set” is making it sound bigger than it is. We’re just sticking our heads through the door and taking a look around, really. C: So you went to see the director? LYN: No, I’d met the director already. I don’t remember if I told you this already or not? When YFX was shooting ZLY had recommended me for a role in it. Since she did that, I had met with Director Deng Ke in Beijing long before. They were having a meal and she asked me if I was available to stop by. So I’d met the director before. So visiting the set of YFX this time also counts as seeing friends. We also talked a little about the next project that was lined up (ZY).

LYN: Later, when I was shooting the drama with him- because we have a few directors, right?- and one of them is Director Wang, who is female. When there was a more emotional scene that I needed to shoot, she took the one of the kiss scenes in YFX to show me. Like, “Look how good this is.” It was teaching material, and she wanted me to learn from it. So I watched it and thought it was quite nice, and yes, I should learn something from it. 

C: Lao-da, don’t watch! You’ll learn bad things. LYN: You must be crazy. For example, if we’re watching a drama and there’s a kiss scene in it, you’d tell me not to watch it because it would make me learn bad things? That’s like something your mother told you when you were little and now you’re telling it to me. When you were little, did you sit between your mom and dad on the sofa watching a movie, and then when the leads started kissing your mother told you, “Don’t look. You’ll learn bad things.’? Kiss scenes on television are like this, friends. Those 18 years and older can watch. If you’re not an adult yet, you shouldn’t watch because you might actually learn bad things. Okay? If you’re over 18 you can start watching normally. 

C: Lao-da, are you entering a new crew? LYN: Yeah, I have to shoot more dramas. So I’ll be joining a new crew soon. Well, actually I count as already having joined it, since I’ve started training. 

C: Lao-da, can you see me? I’m going to test for my MD! LYN: You’re going to be a doctor? Jiayou. That’s amazing. Do well. 

C: Did you buy the cup at Disney? LYN: I didn’t buy it. I was just looking, and didn’t buy anything. I bought Daimi a small hat for pets, though. Other than that, I didn’t buy anything. I go to Disney once every year, to walk and look around. It’s alright. Because I don’t go on many of the rides at all. The main reason I go is to take some photos and relax. 

---------- break #1 (the neighbors are fighting)

LYN: It was a misunderstanding. They weren’t fighting, but watching YFX. The sound of the tv was turned on a little too high. It just so happened that they were sparring in YFX. So, I... misunderstood. It was all just a misunderstanding. 

C: Have you even watched it?? LYN: Uh… Um… I have. 

C: Lao-da, sing a song! LYN: /clicks his tongue/ You really want to hear my music so much? There are a lot of people who like to watch my dramas and my streams, but other than them there are still a group of music fans. This group of music fans are now looking forward to whether I will sing a little something for them. LYN: Let’s do it! What should I sing? How about… 这世界有那么多人 (Empty World)? I really like this song because it has a sort of… light, like I’m talking to you feeling. Like I’m trying to tell you something. But exactly what, is not important. LYN: /setting up/ /sigh/ Oop. My stomach gurgled. LYN: As soon as the first notes sound, it really feels like a story. Let’s listen. LYN: /singing goofily/ Oh, my stomach gurgled again. I should drink more water. We’ll be starting to shoot soon, so I’m not eating much while time allows. That’s better than getting taken a picture of by paparazzi and then having a bunch of ugly pictures floating around. I already don’t look great, I don’t need to add looking chubby on top of that. LYN: Let me find a special effect… This dazed one. LYN: /testing the mic/ IS ANYONE THERE? SOMEONE COME QUICK, SAVE ME! IS ANYONE THERE?? -- 这世界有那么多人 (Empty World)

C: Lao-da, you were a born singer. LYN: :) Thank you. C: So skillful! LYN: You don’t need to make a forced compliment. LYN: That’s really not necessary.

C: Why don’t you make your own songs? LYN: There are certain people for certain things, and I am not that type of creative. If you ask me whether I’ve written songs before, I definitely have. But they were really crude. I didn’t even like listening or singing them myself. They weren’t meaningful. So now I- I don’t try to write for myself anymore. I don’t feel like there’s a need to. 

C: Tang Ren (唐人) is getting popular now. LYN: That’s because the song is good. It has nothing to do with me. I’ve covered it once during my stream, and maybe lately someone’s heard it again? But the original singer and song itself is already very good. I only just used my own way to express the song. Of course I’m not better than the original. 

LYN: I had a plan, which was to make another album right after I release my next one. It seems like another pie in the sky, but that’s what I was thinking at least. After I finish making my second album I want to make a cover album. Find some songs that I like and cover them. When the time comes I’ll think about some nice songs or songs that I like or have covered before and properly rearrange and record them. To make an album of cover songs. 

LYN: I used to be against covers, because in the early days when I had just debuted people only knew me as “internet famous.” People still do now, of course, but that’s not important. The problem was that people would say, “As a singer, how could you not have any of your own songs? You merely relied on covering other people’s songs to get famous.” But it was true. I had been discovered because of my cover of 讲真的 (Tell the Truth). I relied a lot on covering songs, and didn’t have any of my own. At that time I made a plan and started to avoid covers, started learning to try to make my own songs, including having OSTs and my own album. People nowadays probably won’t say that covers are the only thing I can do. After five years of experience I’ve lost the “can only do covers” label and now, rather, I CAN do covers again.

----- magic & scriptwriting

C: Can you wish me success on my exams in your heart? LYN: You want me to pray for you, in my heart? I have to do it in my heart?? If I say it out loud, will it not come true? bgm: 求佛 (Pray to Buddha) LYN: Okay. It’s guaranteed.

C: Ning-ge, oh no! They’re going to say you’re doing magic on stream again. LYN: I know this joke! People say that I’m doing magic in my streams. /grabs the kazoobie/ This is my magic tool. I’m not trying to promote mysticism, but this is my magical instrument. People say that I’m doing magic in my streams. You think I’m just streaming but really I’m doing magic. I’m praying to Buddha. This is a magical instrument. /taps on the kazoobie/ LYN: Let me grab the- /tries to make a singing bowl out of the kazoobie and a mic but it doesn’t work/ Oops. I can’t make the sound, sorry. LYN: Outrageous. But since you have this strong of an imagination I think you could go become a scriptwriter. I’m not kidding. This industry is lacking in good scriptwriters. Your extraordinary thought just then proves that you have enough brain power for the job. I advise you- it doesn’t matter if you like me or not- to focus your efforts on being a scriptwriter. You can write a small story or something. You probably can’t do something big to start, but something small first. Write it in parts. For example, you already have the male lead outlined. He’s a big boy who’s 1.89m tall. He likes to stream and interact with his friends. But actually, he’s a magician. It may look like he’s streaming, but in reality he’s doing magic. Through the eyes of the audience and with the help of his instruments, he can absorb power. But since he’s the male lead, of course he can’t be a villain. Maybe he gained something at the start, but he came to the realization that doing things in this way was working against nature. So he smashed his instrument and started cultivating the correct path. You can call this story “The Streamer’s Path to Immortal Cultivation.” LYN: One day he’s streaming and someone comes to bang on his door. He thinks that maybe he was too loud and it has disturbed his neighbors, but it turns out to be a girl who has come to borrow his bathroom. From the moment the door opens, we cue the close up on the girl, then the guy, and they look into each other’s eyes for three seconds and the fireworks start. In that moment, they fell in love. While practicing his magic he can easily turn demonic, but it turns out he fell in love with this girl and so begins their love story. LYN: You can focus your efforts on being a scriptwriter. Actually, they can make a lot of money. When you eventually turn into a big name, you can make a lot of money. Try writing something. Don’t waste your efforts on making small comments. It’s no use. God gave you the ability to create stories and spew nonsense- /laughs/- and so that’s the talent you were given. Everyone is born with a talent, and this is yours. Your ability to create stories and your strong imagination is your talent. Make use of it and turn it into your path to success. Good luck. C: In the end the girl comes in to use the restroom and he discovered that her shit stinks. LYN: … /sigh/. C: So that means that the girl came to the guy’s house and borrowed his restroom, then he discovered that it couldn’t be used for three days after she had left. LYN: Three days… Friends, you’re playing a little dirty. Did she shit on the ceiling or the walls?? How is that possible?? It’s not possible. She probably didn’t need to use the restroom to resolve whatever situation is going on with her stomach, but to reapply her makeup! How could you- After she’s done touching up she opens her purse and sprays some perfume. Then after the girl leaves the male lead walks into his restroom and discovers that it used to stink but now smells nice. LYN: You’re just… outrageous.

C: Ning-ge, I brought perfume. Let me in. LYN: If there really came a girl who wanted to borrow my restroom I would tell her two words: no entry. I’ll tell her my toilet’s backed up. Try someone else.

bgm: 晒Share - Da Zhangwei

C: I’m here to fix the restroom. Let me in. LYN: I won’t let you use it because it’s backed up, but it’s okay because you’ve come to fix it? Alright, then.

----- drama blood

LYN: Someone came to ask the same question I answered before, which is “What flavor is the blood packet when you’re shooting dramas?” LYN: What flavor…? Just sugar syrup. Sometimes it’s honey. It’s not a definite thing. In general, it’s sweet. LYN: How about this- next time I go shoot my drama I’ll go taste some for you. I’ll secretly take some blood syrup away with me and then raffle it off during one of my streams. I’ll consult with the makeup-laoshi, in a scene where I have to spit blood and ask them to pour me a small cup. I’ll keep it then raffle it off in my stream to let you try it out. Take a sip. Is that good?

C: After you mail it, it would have changed in taste. LYN: No, it won’t. Because this blood is prepared in advance, too. Maybe a month in advance. They don’t make it as you need it, and it’s not like going to a restaurant and asking them to fry you up some blood syrup. They don’t mix it up right there for you, just so you can spit it back out. It’s not like that. It’s made way in advance. It wouldn’t even matter if it were expired. Not that it would be. 

C: Have you drunk any before? LYN: Yes, but not on purpose. When you’re shooting dramas it doesn’t matter if you’re a master martial artist or not a master at all, you’re going to spit blood eventually. Usually- this is a common trope- the male lead spits blood so that the audience can feel sorry for him. Right? The male lead is all about the “pretty”, “strong”, but “miserable.” “Pretty” because the lead’s got to look good. “Strong” because their skills are very high. The best thing is if they’re not only good-looking and strong, but they can’t not have faults. That would be boring. So they must be “miserable” and how that’s achieved is usually by poison. You can go think about all the “pretty”, “strong”, and “miserable” male leads. They’re good-looking, have incomparable fighting prowess, but they always have a weakness or an incurable disease. They either won’t live for much longer, are incurable, or they’re poisoned but all in all they have to die eventually. During this process, they also need to be tortured by someone: hit until they spit blood, or are captured and strung up while being whipped. Those types of characters will make the audience feel for them. In these scenarios it is inevitable that you’d need to spit blood. LYN: One time I had to and I took some of the blood into my mouth and was holding it there. The director goes, “3, 2, 1!” and then /spits/. You spit it. But then there was still some more in my mouth and I’ve have to spit it out. Usually in these scenes after you spit the blood someone comes to hold you up, and they ask, “Are you alright?” That’s the normal reaction. Normally at this time I would say, “I’m ok. You leave first!” It usually follows this logic, right? But that day after I spit I realized I still had half a mouthful and I couldn’t spit AGAIN. Not like when you’re brushing your teeth and you gargle and spit twice. Spitting twice is the habit. But with blood, spitting twice would be: /blood spray/ - /ptooey/. It will make the audience jump out of the story. /demonstrates/ But that day after the first spit I realized I had more in my mouth! So the other person came to ask me if I was okay, and I: /swallows the blood/ “I’m ok.” I had to swallow it. It was so cloying.

C: Is it safe to swallow? LYN: It’s fine. Just some food dye. It’s edible. But there are two types of blood syrup, too. The type you swallow is usually prepared by the makeup-laoshi. They’ll prepare something better. But you can’t drink the blood from the props department. That’s usually detergent and coloring. Like the dish washing liquid you’d use to wash your plates. The props blood is used to pour on the floor. In a guzhuang drama when someones been killed- /mimes cutting his neck/- they’ll be on the floor and there’s a pool of blood under them. That blood is usually detergent because it has the consistency. C: No bubbles? LYN: As long as you don’t mix it with water, there aren’t bubbles. Without water, it’s fine. With water there’s a chemical reaction. You can’t drink that one, of course. You’d be poisoned if you did. C: If you drink it would you spit bubbles.

LYN: It’d be best not to. You can’t drink that one. It’s for the floor. C: What about rain scenes? LYN: You mean if the floor is covered in blood and it starts raining? /thinking/ Hey, I didn’t really think of that before! I’ll ask next time. It’s possible that the method I’ve told you about is only one of many. Next time I’ll ask the props-laoshi, “For the blood syrup, other than using detergent, what else can you make it with?” I’ll report back to you in the next stream. LYN: /laughs/ The bad guy dies and they’re lying in a pool of blood when suddenly rain starts to pour and now there are bubbles. It’s like taking a bubble bath. 

-----

C: Are you still going to Disney in June? LYN: Are you asking me that because you’re going to be there? You want to “accidentally” meet me in June, is that it? But not, I won’t be going. By June I’ll be shooting my drama. I’ll be in the new crew already.

C: Can you chat about Zi Chuan? LYN: I can! Why can’t we? We can talk about it.

LYN: I shot Zi Chuan a long time ago and… at that time- even though my acting is still pretty bad now- at that time it was a little more lacking. But I think that I’ve learned something with every drama that I’ve acted in. Zi Chuan let me act as… someone who is cruel. It made me think about how to maintain that cruelty, and what I needed to reinforce that character. I feel like every one of my roles was made to prepare me for the ones that come after. Each one of my characters has the shadow or feeling of a previous role I’ve played. The role of Di Lin helped and made me think more about how to play a character who is more dignified. It helped me to know the state of a character in an authoritative role. Even though there are differences between characters, I know which part I should keep a grasp of. LYN: When I look back I Di Lin I know that there are many parts where I was lacking. But it’s okay. Of course, I have to thank every role that I’ve had because all have allowed me to mature. If you look back from my very first drama until now you will see that there was growth with every passing drama. I’m thankful for all my roles. 

C: Does Di Lin stay alive in part 2? LYN: There’s an original novel for ZC. In the story, he probably (definitely)… dies. But we’ve only shot 48 episodes and it’s only the first half. Di Lin doesn’t really have many scenes. The producers were very good, and gave me the second male lead role. It’s 2ML in name, but the scene count is very low, comparatively. In 48 episodes I only have around 200 scenes. My main scenes would be in the second half, but we didn’t film that. The main bulk of this character’s story and his highlights are in the second half of the story, which we didn’t shoot. In the latter 24 episodes- since the first 24 are already out- I don’t die. I can tell you that. But we haven’t even been called for voiceover yet, so it might air next year. 

C: Ning-ge, “flip” me and I’ll go transcribe: Ning Yuanzhou [....].. LYN: You don’t need to transcribe anything. If you want to practice your writing, you can just do it. You don’t have to use me as an excuse. Practicing your writing is a good thing!

LYN: Hold on, I drank too much water and I need to use the restroom. Wait for me a sec.

---------- break #2

bgm: 내 마음 들리나요 (Can You Hear My Heart) - Epik High ft. Lee Hi, Moon Lovers OST bgm: 向死而生 (Live to Die) - Burning Flames OST

LYN: This song is from the drama Burning Flames, which is Wu Geng Ji (Journey of Wu Geng), but after the name change. This song is one of the ones this year- including the ones I’ve recorded but haven’t been released yet- that is in the Top 5. Not ranked #5, but in my Top 5. Of course, the previous two I mentioned (for YJXY & YFX) are also in the Top 5. LYN: /to himself/ Why did I have to rank them…? LYN: The other two songs are also definitely in the Top 5, plus this one. These three songs, together. No- that doesn’t work because there was something before these… IN ANY CASE! This insert song from BF is called “Live to Die” and I really like it. There’s no problem with me saying that, right?

C: I want to hear the Top 2. LYN: This one is part of the Top 2. LYN: When I was recording it, I felt like it would send me (to death). I was so tired. But later when the track was released I really enjoyed it. The difficult thing about this song was: /sings the line/. That one lungful was hard. I can try to sing it, but I haven’t eaten much today and I don’t know if I have the strength to pull it off. Let me try. C: I want to hear the Top 1 song. LYN: Shut up! Why are you everywhere.

- /warming up/ LYN: Let me adjust the settings. /turns on the ~radio~ filter/ ~To my listeners in front of the radio today, good evening.~ Let’s use this effect and see if it can add any ~flavor~. C: Hurry and sing! I’m looking forward to it! LYN: Now you’re giving me pressure. I didn’t have any before, but now that I know you’re looking forward to it I do. -- 向死而生 (Live to Die) - /cracks at the difficult line/

LYN: Was there a problem with the mic, just now? Let me test it again. I think there was a problem with it just then. It’s okay. Let me start again. -- /continues/ & /finishes the verse/

LYN: I kind of... don’t have enough strength for this. I don’t have enough stamina (底气, di qi). How about I sing this for you next time? I feel like I can’t get enough air and I’m gonna pass out. In this case, let’s respect the original singer and listen to them sing it. I can’t surpass the original, today. - /downs some soda/ LYN: I don’t have enough qi (气), so I’m giving myself more (in the form of CO2 bubbles).

C: It’s okay, just don’t air the part where you cracked. LYN: My streams always have playback. So, the part where the mic broke a little bit- even though it has nothing to do with me! It was a problem with the mic- I’m sure that part will become hate material against me. 

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C: Ning-ge, are there any tricks to losing weight? LYN: Are there any tricks? I’m not an expert at losing weight, but the way I do it is rationing. Your life, your work, your exercise will all exhaust your body’s energy. It’s like spending money. No- I shouldn’t say that. Let’s say your body has 1000 power. If you exhaust 1200 power every day, then you will naturally become thinner. Let’s say for example that you don’t move- you don’t exercise and you don’t go anywhere. You’re just sitting or lying there. Then you should eat less. If your intake is low, then you won’t get fat. But if you exercise daily, you can consume your normal amount of food. You’ll just need to exercise enough that you don’t consume more than you burn and you’ll start to lose weight. Another thing to do is eat less sugar, and that will help to reduce weight. That’s what I do. LYN: For example if I’ve expended a lot of energy today- if I went to practice wushu, then I can eat like normal. But normally I don’t really like to move, so I will eat less. C: What happens if you get low blood sugar? LYN: It shouldn’t happen. If you’re exercising you could eat normally. Even if you’re not excessively exercising you shouldn’t normally experience low blood sugar. Maybe if you expend too much, you would have low blood sugar? I don’t know. Just: if I’m not moving, I eat less; if I move, then I’ll eat normally.

LYN: My hair- I wanted to go for the wet-hair look but I realize that once it’s dried it looks bad. - /messing up his hair/ LYN: Okay, that’s good enough.

C: What about if you can’t control your mouth? LYN: I don’t know, because I can’t do it either. I always get hungry in the middle of the night and I don’t know why. It’s always the middle of the night. I get hungry and I can’t take it so I always have to eat a little something. 

C: How do I become more pale? LYN: Wear proper sunscreen. And… use skin brightening products. That’s the only two things. Use some skin brightening products before you sleep and… supplement your vitamin c or something. 

C: Ning-ge, how do I grow shorter? LYN: …??? How do you grow shorter??? Everyone wants to grow tall, why do you want to grow short? That’s bold of you. LYN: To make yourself shorter… I don’t know your age, but… if you want to grow shorter during puberty you should do strength training. Work out and do some heavy-lifting so that your muscles become stronger and wrap around/protect your bones more. It’ll help you to grow slower. Secondly, after you increase your bone density you might also grow more slowly. Look at martial artists and weightlifters- they have high bone density and it’s slowed/impeded their growth in height. At least that’s what I think. C: Then why didn’t you train? LYN: I wanted to grow tall. LYN: A lot of my old fans know this but my mom’s younger brother(s)- so my uncle(s)- I had two uncles, who were pretty short. When I was little my grandma would tell me, “Don’t grow to be like your uncles.” Of course, I am not saying this to diss my uncles at all. But my grandma would always tell me not to grow to their height. Then before we knew it, I was this tall. I would tell my grandma, “Don’t worry. I’ll grow super tall. I’ll be 2.3m tall and I’ll live (?) in the zoo. I’ll be locked in a cage and when people come to see me like watching a monkey, I can even collect viewing fees from them.” When I was really little I liked to tell my grandma that. LYN: Who would have thought that the 2.3m tall part didn’t come true, but the “watch me and collect fees” part seems to have at least partial success. For example, I collect fees for you to watch me in concert. 

C: Ning-ge, will you still have a concert this year then? LYN: I’m not sure. There could be, and there could not. I’ll tell you now- if I’m not able to hold it this year then it will be at the beginning of next year. I was in discussions about this the other day, too. But it’s not determined.

C: Ning-ge, how do I get bigger eyes? LYN: … LYN: Don’t provoke me. You’re asking ME how to get bigger eyes?? It’s like going to get treatment for baldness and the doctor has less hair than you. How do you get bigger eyes?? Go get double-eyelid surgery! Your eyes will become a little bigger. Technology hsa improved so much, I’m sure it can help you. The second thing is when you’re taking photos, turn on the beauty filters. Turn the “big eyes” feature on a little higher. 

C: Is this LYN’s stream? LYN: It is I. You’re not in the wrong place. Liu Yuning is streaming right now, and Liu Yuning is me. I am streaming. Do you feel like I don’t look like him? 

C: I don’t believe I actually made it to a live one. LYN: What’s not to believe?? I’m not some big celebrity. It’s not difficult for us to meet. That’s a nonexistent problem. We can meet any time. It could be hard to meet with other artists, but if you want to see me you an just come to my weibo and leave a message saying, “LYN, I want to see you.” I’ll come and stream. I’m that easy. C: Give us a welcome. LYN: I’d like to welcome all my good friends to my stream tonight. If this is your first time watching and you have not already, please subscribe to my weibo. Thank you! C: Liar. I’ve waited for you for 45 days. LYN: I was working! When I was shooting dramas before, I could stream on days where I had less scenes to shoot. But now I’m accepting roles with more scenes so there are times where after a day of shooting I’m not in the right state to stream. I have to remember the script and rest up for the next day. I have to make sure I can continue to film. So… please understand. C: You don’t stream even on wrap day. LYN: On wrap day I still had work to do. Because during filming there weren’t many days I could take off, so on wrap day I took care of a bunch of miscellaneous tasks left over. Also, I’m not a robot who can work all the time, I need to rest too. Continuous filming gives me too much pressure. I’m stressed when shooting the drama, and there are all these outside pressures… can’t you let me rest a little? I’m not a robot, even though I don’t rest much regularly anyway.

C: Can you talk about The Truth? LYN: I can, but what do you want me to say? It’s fun and a good time. I got to know some new friends, too. Well- I guess they’re not considered “new”. We’ve all met before… except Zhang Linghe. This will count as our first meeting, I guess. First ~official~ meeting. I’d bumped into him before, but we never greeted each other. We got to know each other this time. Xun-ge, we had done a variety show together before. Wang Xun. Bai Yu, we shot the previous season together so we’re quite close. That counts for Zhou Keyu, too. And Reba… this is our third partnership now. CGX, ALZ, and now this variety show. C: Is ZLH handsome? LYN: He is, very handsome. Very good-looking. When I see these young kids I get jealous. Not only are they good-looking and tall, but the key factor is that they’re also still young. If he can reach this level at his age, then his future is unlimited. Right? That goes for Keyu, too. Anyway, he’s handsome. They all are.

bgm: Truthfully - A1 TRIP/Dobi

C: Is LYN handsome? LYN: Me? Of course, I am just average. Just average. LYN: I know that there are a lot of you fans out there, and in your eyes I’m the best. It’s like looking at your own child. Some parents know that they have really ugly children but still consider them as their treasure nevertheless. You see me in the same way. When you’re looking at me it’s like looking at your kid. You think anything I do is good.

LYN: I learned of a term the other day, “ru zhui”? A “ru zhui” fan. The “ru” in “insult/humiliate” (wu ru, 侮辱) and the “zhui” for “chase” (追). 辱追fan. I was confused- what does that mean??? So I went to take a lesson, since I’m curious about these new terms. I didn’t understand, but I think I know approximately what it means. That is: using an insulting way to pursue their idol. I think that’s what it means? I’m not sure if I’m interpreting that correctly. But what it means is to describe, for example, how a person is your fan but they just scold you all the time. EX: “LYN, how shameless can you be? Look at how fat you are! And you think you can be an artist?? Shameless! As a fan I find you disgracing. Look at your business capability. Look at your lines. What are other people doing, and what are you?? You’re not even streaming like you COULD be.” LYN: People like that. “I’ve followed you for five years, and you show no signs of improvement?!?” Fans who employ this method of “Humiliating Pursuit”. Are they really fans? Yes. But I don’t have a lot of those types, here. You can’t say I don’t have any, I still do. Just the one or two. But I hope that you aren’t this way. There’s no need. If you really think that I’m not good enough, then please forget me. If I were to self-describe me, I would say that I am very easily hated on. There are always people who- I’m not trying to say I’m so amazing, I’m not, but there are a lot of people who want to magnify my unexceptionalities and use them to undermine me or get a quick laugh out of it. It doesn’t matter. The problem is that there are already a group of people who truly hate me, so I don’t need my own fans doing it too. LYN: We practice a supportive way of chasing stars, here. You can say, “LYN, you’re the best!” Okay? Thank you, everyone. Otherwise one day I’ll be looked down upon and try to retreat into my fandom space to regain some positive energy, but instead discover that I have fans yelling at me in this space, too. I would have a total mental breakdown. C: That’s called a “gu zhui” fan. (gu as in “to encourage’ 鼓励) LYN: An “Encouraging Pursuit”-type fan? Ah. Okay, then.

LYN: I’m doing well for now because relatively speaking- even though I haven’t streamed much lately- I often stream and chat with you. I can see all the comments you type into the chat and this way I can respond to your encouragements and requests in a timely fashion. It’s instant feedback, which is good. We communicate. If there’s ever something I wish you wouldn’t do, I can tell you directly. If there’s something you want me to work harder on, you can also type it into the chat and tell me. 

C: Ning-ge, don’t lose weight. You’re already very skinny. LYN: Don’t PUA* me. I’m someone who clearly knows what he should and should not be doing. I should lose some. Because you can relax now, but when the drama airs and you’re being dogpiled- excuse me, I should mind my words. When you’re being “told the truth”, you’re going to regret it. So I’d like to be a little thinner, to look a little more lively, which is better than looking fat. The part I lose out on is that my eyes are on the small side. Since they’re so small, my face looks bigger and it LOOKS like I’m fat but in reality I’m not really, since I have the height. The problem is they can’t always take full-body shots. When you’re shooting the overall height, it looks fine. You don’t look like you have a big face or are fat. But as soon as they’re taking half-body or close-up shots- because you only have one face, and people can’t see your whole proportions. I know I don’t look elegant or refined. So… at least I try. I need to be thinner so I look more polished. *mentally control someone and make them lose self-confidence

C: Di Lin was pretty chubby. LYN: When I was playing Di Lin... honestly another part of it is that I learned that acting really requires experience. All sorts of experience. Because I didn’t attend a professional school for acting- I didn’t learn how to sing, either- but for a lot of things there’s a right way to do it: learn by experience. When you do one thing ten thousand times, it’s going to have results. After shooting so many dramas now, I’ve definitely made some… improvements. I feel like I’ve understood something about acting as I was doing it. There’s no good way to give it form or describe it, so I can’t tell you that much about it. I don’t even want to trying sharing what I think about it because people would think I’m being fake. So I won’t share with you what I’ve understood. LYN: At the time I was acting as Di Lin, I truly didn’t understand how to act. But during the filming process, you start to understand. First off- wardrobe, makeup, and props- you start to get a better of understanding of what is “good” and what is not “good.” Or, what was there to fool you and what shows sincerity. The wigs, too, that you have on for guzhuang dramas. You learn what style suits you, and in what way it’s combed that suits your face. How high or low to apply the wig, whether to have sideburns or not and are they short or long?, how long or short is the length of the hair in the back?, where exactly should it be tied- up higher? or more back? All of these are things you’ll learn while you film and gain more experience. You’ll start to know what looks good on you, or what feels/looks more comfortable. 

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C: Director Ke is here. LYN: We all call him Director Deng. Or Director Deng Ke. You call him Director Ke?? Do you use it to describe the fact that you can “ke” (get addicted to) the dramas he’s shot? LYN: Welcome, Director! LYN: /laughs/ Some of you really know how to pander to someone. At least we know how decency. Usually when a director comes you would: 1. welcome them and 2. acknowledge their works. I’m seeing people spam: “YXF is awesome!!” Let’s maintain this tradition. Whenever a director comes to my stream you all should start looking up which dramas they’ve made, then start complimenting them on which of them you’ve watched. LYN: This is pure “ways of the people and the world.” Usually when I’m working with someone or I’ve met someone who I don’t really know, I’ll go online and do some homework beforehand. For example, if I’m meeting with an actor tomorrow, I’ll look up which dramas they’ve been in. If I’m shooting a variety show with them I’ll look at what they’ve been in and what the general consensus was. I can say, “I’ve been watching your drama lately! Your acting is great!” or “I saw the one you were in three years ago, too. I know the reviews weren’t the best but I thought you acted well. You were so handsome!” But in actuality I really… haven’t watched their dramas at all. If you want to be friends with someone you have to do some homework. 

bgm: 夜���秦淮 (Ye Po Qin Huai) - Ice Paper

LYN: Director Deng hasn’t typed anything, has he?? My comments are moving a little too quickly today so I can’t see very clearly. Director Deng, if you have something to tell me, message me on WeChat. If you don’t have anything to say and you’re just passing through then nevermind! 

LYN: I’ve already finished promoting YFX, even though I know it doesn’t need my help. I just said in passing, if you had time, that you could go watch YFX. Of course, I- Oh, he left? Ok, then. He was probably just passing through and saw that I was streaming, so he came to take a look. We were in brief contact when I went to Beijing too. C: YFX is a really good watch! LYN: He’s already left. You’re too late. You have to remember this for next time, you’ve got to spam it immediately after you realize they’re in the stream. If its a director or a producer, you’d want to leave a good impression of LYN’s fans on them. That way if they have work they might think of me. It’s difficult to survive in any industry- whether that’s in a company, in entertainment, or in any environment- so you really have to learn these things.

LYN: I know a lot of people comment about me, saying that I know a lot about ways of the people and the world, but I honestly don’t know much, and I actually kind of hate it. When I was younger I really hated this type of thing. I didn’t think it would ever be worth it to learn or that I would ever need it. Or if I go somewhere and meet someone who is better than me, I would never try to talk to them. If they don’t talk to me, I would never acknowledge their existence. I didn’t ever think there was a need. So they’re amazing. What did that have to do with me? I used to think that way, and assumed that would make me have a personality. “I”m just this type of person. If you’re willing to communicate with me, you can. If you don’t want to, then we will never become friends.” That’s the type of identity I was pursuing at first.  - [t/n: I, too, hate schmoozing and networking.]

LYN: But as your life continues you’ll discover that if you DO know these skills, your life will be a little smoother. I don’t know if you’ll know, but when you were in school did you have that one student who- I’m not sure if this is the right way to describe them- are really… “tian bai”? They brown-nose the teacher. It’s like… ingratiating or self-deprecating oneself. For example, “Teacher, the clothes you’re wearing today are so pretty!” “We love taking your classes!” Kind of like excessive flattery. The people who know how to do this all tend to do well among peers. Many of you might be in school now so you don’t know, but at work it’s the same. I don’t want you to make yourself lesser than, but it would let you develop better. Who doesn’t like to hear nice things, right? For example, you meet up with a friend and you tell them, “You’ve gotten prettier!” or “You’ve gotten thinner!” If they’re someone who is conflicted about their own body, by telling them “You look thinner” or “You look to be in good spirits”- something like that won’t really affect your character or anything- you can give them warmth and receive warmth in return. I just feel like you can/should learn to do these things, in order to allow your path or survival to go a little smoother. Everyone likes to hear praise; we’re all the same. LYN: We’re not doing it hypocritically/facetiously. I just think it’s worth trying, to change yourself and to give others compassion, or make them laugh, or give them support. By doing these things you can become a positive person in return. 

LYN: Sometimes people will ask me, “Ning-ge, I have social anxiety. What should I do? I hate interacting with other people.” I’m not trying to compare, but I have social anxiety, too! I really disklike having to interact with people. But this is something that you need to force yourself to do. That way you’ll gain opportunities, or a better future, or whatever is it that you want. If the desire for what you want is greater than your fear of interaction, then you’ll do it. If you don’t think it’s worth it, then you can stay socially anxious. That’s fine, too. LYN: You’re born with many things, but you can also learn them with practice and effort. My diction used to be really terrible. Due to how I grew up, I didn’t like communicating with people and I was closed off. I wasn’t confident, and was cowardly. I never fought anyone for anything. My home conditions weren’t the greatest, either. As a result I was timid- no matter what I did. Now you might think that I’m really boisterous but it’s all because I trained myself to be this way. I forced myself. C: Try it first. LYN: Absolutely right. First try to communicate with people. When you receive a good reaction in response, you’re going to gain more confidence. The reason why I don’t need to force it when I’m streaming is because there’s no one in front of me. I know you’re all brandishing your phones and writing to me, you’re watching me, but none of you are IN FRONT of me. I’ll pretend- I’ll pretend that you are. I’m not imagining you as a field of cabbage, either. I imagine you as people. But these people are 1. All here for me and 2. My friends. When you’re in front of friends you won’t feel out of place. Maybe there are a lot of passersby or antis watching, waiting for me to slip up so that they can take it out of context and ridicule me. Those people exist, too. But the reason I’m so relaxed right now is because I pretend. Even if you are an anti, I pretend that you are someone who likes me. Or even if you don’t like me, at the least you don’t hate me. So that’s why I’m relaxed when streaming.

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C: My mom says you talk a lot. LYN: With a stream, I have to force myself to keep talking. Not CONSTANTLY, but the worst thing for a livestream is if it goes cold. It’s alright if there are pauses but as long as the mood doesn’t fall flat, it’s okay. If there is a lull in conversation, you should use the next topic to smooth it over. That’s how you make a stream feel compact. It’s a little like acting. You have to understand the rhythm. A stream has rhythm, and your speech has rhythm. If I haven’t thought through what I’m about to say, I’ll save it. But then I have to figure out how to bring up the topic without disrupting the flow. It’s not because I talk a lot- I talk very little, actually. But I’m always talking in the stream because I don’t want it to fall flat. I need to grab your attention so that you stay focused on the stream. 

C: How about sing a gentle song? LYN: I saw someone earlier say, “Are you going to sing or not? You’ve talked enough.” Um... if you don’t like to watch, then get out. I’m talking to you. /points at the camera/ If you don’t like what you see then get out. (joking!)

LYN: I’ll sing something. :) LYN: What should I sing? Something gentle? I don’t have much energy, since I didn’t eat much today. Let’s find something gentle… C: Tang Ren (唐人). LYN: I can’t sing it because…befrore, my band- Da Fei and A-Zhuo- were here and could play the arrangement for me. - /finds an instrumental track/ LYN: I don’t know if I can do it, but I’ll give it a try. // I’ve forgotten how to sing it, but you can listen for fun! -- Tang Ren (唐人) C: It lagged. For real, this time. LYN: What are you talking about?? This time was “for real”, so you mean that the last time was fake? What do you mean??? I guess it lagged a little? It’s alright. It’s normal, for something like the internet. It can be a little unstable. C: It really lagged. LYN: But it’s fine, now!! Stop spamming. It’s fine.

C: You came to stream again. LYN: Yeah. I was already planning to, but in addition to that my fans are all over the platforms shouting for me. So I had to stream. If I hadn’t the pot would have exploded. My fans would become “humiliating pursuit” fans. C: We wouldn’t! // No way. LYN: I know. I was joking with you. 

C: When will the Disney VLOG be released? LYN: It needs to be edited! No rush.

bgm: 奉上 (Offer) - A Journey to Love OST LYN: Someone told me to play “Offer” so I am. 

C: Do you know how hard these past 45 days were? LYN: That’s okay, isn’t it? I’ve-  C: We were going to ignore you for five minutes. LYN: I saw that. There was a screenshot that said, “The next time Ning-ge streams, let’s ignore him. We won’t talk to him for five minutes and make him believe that the stream has lagged. Make him believe it’s lagged so he spends the time trying to fix his equipment, only to find out that we were fooling him.” Someone thought of this method to get revenge on me! LYN: You know, if you did that I would have thought that my internet was broken and I’d have stopped streaming. I know that’s not a threat to you. It was a good sentiment but if you really think about it, I don’t think you would have been able to control the situation given that there are so many people here.

C: I thought I’d have to go 100 days without seeing you. LYN: No way. I know I’ve gone quite a while without streaming this time but it’s because I had a lot to do. I had to make sure I was in the right condition, because the next drama is giving me a lot of pressure. I need to prepare myself for going into the new crew. I can’t just jump from one to the next because I’d feel worn out. So I had to quickly adjust my condition, as I’m guessing I’ll have a tough time in the next one. Not that I’m afraid of the hard work. I just think that the next one will be difficult to shoot. I want to be in top condition for it. 

-

C: It’s lagging. LYN: If you’re really lagging then leave the stream and come back in. That should fix it. But if you leave, you have to remember to come back! Don’t just leave and then go to sleep or go to bed then pass out.

-

C: Will it be more work than YNGS? LYN: …. Let me think about how to answer this. As an actor, what’s the big deal if you end up tired and crying a little? What do you have to complain about?? Shouldn’t you be tired, after receiving all the spotlight? What’s wrong with being a little tired? What right do you have to complain that you are? It’s “hard work”? Who doesn’t work hard! Think about all the delivery people who are out on the streets right now. Who doesn’t have hard work? It’s hard on them, too! Some of them are out there in the middle of the night! You’re already very fortunate. What right do you have to complain? LYN: It won’t be hard work, friends. The next drama won’t be hard at all. Also… /never finishes the thought/

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C: Ning-ge, did you deliver that from an anti’s point of view? LYN: No, no. LYN: Sometimes when people interview me they’ll ask, “How do you feel when you see people online being negative towards you?” I always get asked this type of question in interviews. “If you see that no one likes the character  you’ve played, how do you feel?” I see those questions often. It’s like this… um… let me first respond with the most standard answer. The best answer to give, as an artist. LYN1: I saw the comments, yes. When I see that they don’t acknowledge me, I think it’s right for them to do so. LYN: The first thing to do is to assure the viewers. LYN1: People are right to critique me, as I am not a professional actor. I will always consider the concerns that they are voicing and I’ll take note of their advice so that I know that’s the direction I need to work harder in. LYN: The second thing is to acknowledge them, and the third is to imagine a better future. LYN1: In the future no matter what role I am challenging, I am sure that I will take it even more seriously than the previous role and I know that there are many places I am lacking- LYN: The fourth is to self-deprecate. LYN1: - and I have huge room for improvement. But being able to work with so many amazing teachers this time around, I have definitely been able to learn a lot from them. LYN: That’s number five: thank the people you’ve worked with. LYN1: Working together with all these amazing actors, I’m sure that there is a lot I can learn from them, and I’ll do my best to learn. I’m not certain I can successfully learn even 1% of what they know, but I’ll work hard. I’ll portray every character I meet in the future to the best of my ability. I hope people can continue to supervise me and I hope that one day you will see my growth. Thank you, everyone. 

LYN: That’s the standard answer. USUALLY, it’s an answer that people can’t find a problem with. If you ask me if I know how to answer properly, I definitely do. I can even make it fancier. I can give you three more angles, to make it seem like I am humble, serious, and eager to learn. Someone who is self-disciplined and knows where they should work harder. 

LYN: But I knew that was the common answer, so it’s not how I used to reply. Whenever I met with an interviewer, I wanted to give them a different answer. I would definitely reply from an angle they’ve never thought of. When I was asked a question I would think a mile a minute and come up with something they didn’t expect. I couldn’t let them think I was your average artist, otherwise they wouldn’t remember me. I needed to make them remember who I was within three questions. Make them think, “Hey. This Liu Yuning is different from other artists.” That’s the direction I was going in. I wanted the unexpected.

C: Then, what’s your real (truthful) response? LYN: … C: Let’s have a non-standard answer. LYN: The non-standard answer… you can go look up how I used to answer these questions, and that’s the non-standard reply. 

C: I’m laughing to death. What are you doing all the time? LYN: :| I’m thinking. LYN: You need to learn. I really do learn from other talented artists, and how they speak. I’m not trying to imitate them, but this industry does have its standards/rules. C: Ning-ge, next time answer like this when someone asks you for a non-standard answer. You should say, “What business is it of yours??” LYN: /laughs/ It’s unwarranted. That would be okay if we were joking but you can’t expect me to seriously say “What’s business is it of yours??” For example, “LYN, how do you feel when you see people online making hateful comments about you?” Should I answer the reporter by saying, “What business is it of yours”?? Do you think I don’t want to survive in this industry anymore?? Of course, an answer like that could definitely make the reporter/program remember you. As the first such ill-mannered artist they’ve ever seen. LYN: Let’s say the reporter asks me, “LYN, please introduce your role so that we may remember you.” I could turn and walk away, saying “I’m not recording anymore.” I’m sure they would remember me, then. But that’s not something I can do. 

-----

C: /commenting about what he’s drinking/ LYN: I’m drinking the sugarless one. It’s fine.

C: Take of your hat. It doesn’t look good. LYN: What business is it of yours?? LYN: Look at that, I used it immediately. :) LYN: What business is it of yours? Be happy you have something to look at. I already told you multiple times that I haven’t washed my hair. 

C: I knew it. LYN: You knew I would respond that way?

bgm: 万物盛开法则 (The Law of Everything in Bloom) - Da Zhangwei bgm: 隆里电丝 (Lonely Dance) - DamnShine

C: You’re the best at talking back to fans. LYN: /sigh/ When I’m talking back at fans in my stream, you all know it’s as a joke. I’m more relaxed here, and you should all know that I don’t mean it in a malicious way.  

C: /asking him about the rollercoaster at Disney/ LYN: I wasn’t afraid at all. I know that when people are playing fast-paced games they need to close their eyes, but I tell myself that I can’t close them. I need to keep my eyes wide open so I can experience all of the turns and the speed. Then I realized that the wind made my eyes hurt and I teared up instead. So during the process I had to keep my eyes open, but they were tearing up because of the wind, so I had to wipe away the tears too. It’s rare for me to ride it once, so I had to make the most of it. I didn’t want to miss anything that was speeding by so I kept my eyes open. 

C: You really kept your eyes open? LYN: Forcefully. Riding while wiping my tears away.  C: Good thing your eyes are small.

LYN: /sigh/ /going through all seven stages of grief/ LYN: Good thing my eyes are small, so the area that gets hit with the wind is relatively little, is that it? If my eyes were normal sized… I would shed even more tears, right? Ah… okay. /thumbs up/ Ok. LYN: /still sad about it/ LYN: Wait for me a sec, I’ll use the restroom. LYN: /under his breath/ qswl

LYN: Someone asked me if I would sing Long Yin. I won’t sing it, but I’ll play it instead. You can watch the video while I use the restroom.

---------- break #3

LYN: I went to the restroom and cried. Someone said my eyes are small and I’m actually really sad about it. I couldn’t hold it. Honestly, I didn’t go to use the restroom, but I went to cry a little. I got that out and adjusted my mental state so I can come back with a smile. I just couldn’t hold it anymore. These words are so hurtful. C: Your eyes are even smaller after you’ve cried. LYN: I’ve been cyberbullied. You all are so mean.

C: Is the background real? LYN: It’s real. LYN: Also, I’ve been attending a lot of small events lately, right? And I’ve been running into these- I think they must be new fans. Honestly the new fans and I haven’t really had a proper talk yet. There are a lot of new fans who probably haven’t even seen many of my streams. We have a small… rule, here. That is, if I attend some variety show or event- I stay at a hotel. Many of you like to squat at the hotel to block me. It’s like you’re planning to ambush me. A sneak attack! I don’t know why. It’s okay- that’s your freedom. If the hotel management is not going to do anything about you, I have no right to say anything. But the thing is- your cellphones. Please try not to shove them in my mouth. Okay? I get the feeling that when you’re trying to take pictures of me you’re almost shoving the thing straight into my mouth, as if to give me a laryngoscopy. Please try not to do that. Also, for those of you walking sideways- you’re about to shove it in my ear. Like you’re going to clean my earwax. I feel like you’re trying to record whether I have earwax or not. The phones are right here. /picks up his phone to demonstrate/ When I get on the car I have to think back- “When I was washing my face, did I get my ears?” I don’t want you to have got on video that I have earwax, like “Why are LYN’s ears so dirty?!?” Another thing is- because I’m pretty tall, so the height difference between me and most of you is relatively large. So when you’re getting video of me it’s from this angle- /under the chin, bottom-up/ That’s a super dead angle. You just record me like that. I feel like you’re trying to see if I have boogers. LYN: So I just want to say- when you’re taking photo/video of me, please try to maintain some distance. Okay? Maintain some distance. And also, please try to control your emotions. Don’t put the camera so close to me. It’s a little TOO close. It’s too close for my self-confidence. There are already a lot of ugly photos of me online. There are so many; and you’re still trying to create more?? Control yourselves, please.

LYN: I know that in your hearts when you look at me it’s like a tortoise seeing a mung bean- I suit your eyes- and you think that I am handsome or good-looking. I don’t blame you for that- it’s normal. But the thing is when you share photos online can you adjust the angle a little bit, please? Sometimes I see that photos that you share and I think, “This must be an anti.” You don’t even give me any nice filters and you upload a photo from such a bad angle? While praising me?? It’s like.. reverse marketing. How could you put that online?! Aren’t you just giving people (who hate him) more material to work with? LYN: I’m not like other people, who can be seen from 365° and have no dead angles. For me all 365° are ALL dead angles. I’m full of dead angles. Truly dead. So please try to pick some not-so-dead angles of me to upload. Okay? 

C: How could you say I’m a tortoise? I’m no longer a fan. LYN: It’s an expression. Tortoise looking at a mung bean. You can choose to be the tortoise or the bean, it doesn’t matter. It’s just an expression. I’m not calling you an actual tortoise, but even it I were it wouldn’t matter. Because it would mean I wish you a long life. Thousand year old tortoise and hundred year old turtle. 

C: Are there any benefits for new fans? LYN: Um… benefits for new fans?? /thinking/ Are there any benefits for new fans? LYN: … LYN: Let me think of how to answer this. - /starts rolling his eyes like the buffering symbol/ LYN:You’re a new fan and you have enough gall to ask for benefits? What type of benefits did you want? Why did it take you so long to become my fan? What were you doing earlier?? Amusing. I’m not even nitpicking you, but here you are nitpicking me? Even asking for benefits?? C: Because you weren’t the male lead before! LYN: Why are you so snobby?!? I wasn’t the male lead before so you never took notice of me, is that it? You can’t be like that. A drama’s success does not rely solely on the male and female leads. There’s also the efforts of the supporting cast and background actors. Even the huge efforts of the production crew. There’s setting, lights, wardrobe, makeup, props, art. All the work of the people behind the scenes that comes together to make what you see. How could you blame liking me late on the fact that I wasn’t the male lead before??

C: So if new fans don’t have benefits, do your old fans get any? LYN: … LYN: We’re already so close with each other, what benefits could you possibly need? Haven’t you ever heard of that saying- why am I streaming here today, friends? - /changes the bgm to 黑夜一束光 (Praying)/ LYN: Because I think that companionship is the best confession. At this moment I am keeping you company, just as you are keeping me company. Like this, everything is the most precious. It’s also our greatest mutual benefit. 

C: You’re not even willing to perfunctorily offer a jug of soybean oil anymore? LYN: So you also know that’s just perfunctory. LYN: I’ve said this before, though. There will come a time one day when I will give you all that I owe you. When you hit 1000 consecutive days checking in to my SuperTopic I’ll give a jug of soybean oil or a bag of rice. There are reward ranks to checking in. There’s soybean oil, rice, and also laundry detergent, shampoo. Your basic daily necessities. As long as you check in to the Modern Brothers Super Topic, it’ll be no problem for you to claim them. C: Toilet paper. LYN: Yes. Also toilet paper, laundry detergent, hand cream, soap, eggs. All sorts of things you can get if you check in any number of days on the SuperTopic.

C: Toilet plunger. LYN: There’s no need for that.

-----

C: Ning-ge, can I go act as your body-double? LYN: Act as my body-double? First, tell me how tall you are. For lighting doubles the height needs to be similar, because when they’re fixing the lighting you’ll need to stand in my spot so they can get it right. The lights need to be fixed at a height that’s good for me. So if you’re 1.7m tall and they set it for that much, when I got to stand there at 1.89m the lighting’s going to be wrong. So the height needs to be similar. If you’re 2m then that’s too tall. 1.88, 1.89, or 1.90 are all okay. Otherwise, you can’t be my lighting double. It’s mainly for fixing the position of the lighting and camera. C: Don’t you shoot scenes with legs spread wider apart? (to make himself shorter) LYN: It depends on the scene. But most of the time I don’t, because that will affect my focus.

C: I can stand a day on stilts. LYN: You’re thinking too much. It’s very hard work to be a lighting double. Lighting doubles aren’t just for the leads either, but for the whole main cast. Their jobs are for the whole day. Let’s say for example I’ve finished a scene and now I’d like to take a break, so I go to the side to sit and look over the script. During this time we’re setting up for the next scene so the lighting and cameras need to be adjusted and that’s when they will stand where you will be performing later. If you’re in a room and there’s no one to mark positions, you wouldn’t now where exactly to shoot. They need to think about the background and what’s within the frame, so need someone to stand in position so the lighting and camera is set up properly. When that’s done, you can start scene rehearsals. That’s pretty much the content of their work.

LYN: But many of them- actually, I’ve asked them before: why did they become lighting doubles? I’ll chat with mine sometimes and they’ll tell me. “I’m a student. I’m on break now so I came to experience life and see what it’s like to be part of a drama crew.” “I’m a student and later at night I’ll return to class.” They’ve come for work while they’re on break- for four months- before returning to school. They’ll do that. LYN: Others are professional lighting doubles- they’ll move from crew to crew as needed. Of course, they have a salary so they’re making money and it’s work. Some doubles I think are really amazing. What I mean by that is- because they also receive the drama notices- so they will take the time to not only be a lighting double but also memorize all the lines for the role they’re doubling in. When they’re standing there for the lighting crew to fix the set-up, they and the other double will stand there going over the whole scene. They’re pretty much acting already, going over the lines together. I’ve met few people like this, but they are out there. I’m sure they also dream to one day become an actor, so during this time they’re practicing and it’s a great opportunity. I’ve met doubles like this, and when they’re on camera I think they’re amazing. They’ll remember the lines and really act out the scene, to get the feeling of it. Later they can watch the actors and learn from them. It’s a process that helps you learn extremely quickly. Being a double for any position in any drama means they’ve acted in that drama. I think that’s really ambitious.  

C: They created the opportunity for themselves.  LYN: It’s not that they created it, rather you’ll discover that “opportunity” is a really vague thing but it’s also right by your side. It just depends on what you do with it. There’s always opportunity. For example, they’re a lighting double. If their dream is to be an actor and they take their job as double seriously, it’s possible that the director might just give them an actual role. They’ll give them a role for them to act in for real. Even if that role is very small or unimportant, it’s still an opportunity. You originally came for one job- lighting double- but might end up acting. It could be fun. LYN: When I was shooting YNGS, there was one scene one of the officers pretended to be NYZ, because I had gone to the pagoda. (E29) The person pretending to be NYZ is actually my lighting double. After the mask is on, I’m the one acting. But before the mask went on, that was my double. So he got a role. :-) LYN: Sometimes the director will think this lighting double is not bad. They’re good-looking and a good person, so they’ll find a role for them to play. That’s okay, too. As long as your effort or earnesty is seen by others during this process, opportunity is something that will be given to you.    

C: It’s all a load of nonsense. LYN: There’s nothing nonsense about this. It’s all real. Sometimes I don’t like telling you about this stuff, because it’s seems like I’m preaching but I’m not. I’m just trying to share. I share what I see because I need to observe my surroundings, whether that’s the people in the crew or around me. When I watch them I think. For example, why do people who do well, do well? There are lots of opinions. LYN: Let me tell you a story- I know a chef friend. I won’t name who they are, because you know I only have so many friends who are chefs. Up until now he’s done very well for himself, and he’s very professional. How did he get so lucky? When he was first starting out and apprenticing, he got lucky and was looked well upon by an senior in the kitchen who told him to stick with him and be his helper. At that time he hadn’t even graduated yet- it was just a part-time job, to hang out and learn the work in the kitchens. When he saw this da-ge, he really wanted to follow him. But a lot of times in these circumstances the job might not come to you, especially as someone who is called in last minute. So he followed this da-ge and learned what the guy liked- for example, he likes drinking tea everyday. This “da-ge” isn’t only called that in name- he was also head of the kitchen. So he would come to the kitchen early to prepare tea, and use a fan to cool it until it was around 30C, then cap it and leave it there for him. He knew the guy liked to look at magazines- this da-ge would bet on horses- so he’d turn the pages and leave it open on the horse betting. So he could just pick it up and look at it instead of having to flip through the pages first. He’d take care of these small details, because he wanted to work with this person so much. He would take care of all the small details like this, and after a month when he needed to go back to school, he left. This lao-da needed to switch a xiao-di, right? But he discovered that he couldn’t do without him. Because when the other people worked for example, if they made his tea, he would open the cap and burn himself. It was too hot. He felt like nothing was in the right place. So he told someone to go fetch my friend back, and they did. Ever since then they’ve been working together, advancing step by step. Getting better and better with each passing day. Until today, when he is very successful himself. LYN: I don’t like to say that success if for those who are prepared for it. I you want to succeed, there’s something you have to give, to think about, to do. You can’t just sit there and wait for opportunity to fall into your lap. Many times opportunities are something you strive for yourself. You have to be thorough. I’m just telling you the story of something that happened to someone around me. I don’t mean anything else by it. 

C: Ning-ge, isn’t this just being a lackey? LYN: What nonsense are you spouting?! You can’t say it like that. It has nothing to do with that. It’s just that if you are able to do something, you will gain something in return. I’m sure that you think this person is petty and low but they’re doing better than you are. Everyone who’s doing well for themselves now has a story that people don’t know about.

C: Learn the basics. LYN: Yes. In order to learn the basics, it’s what you have to do. Once you’ve got the foundation, work will come to you. 

C: Ning-ge, are there only physical requirements to being a lighting double?  LYN: It’s not just about the physical match. You have to look at least a little similar, and the skin tone plays a role in that. The whole purpose is to set the lighting, so the skin tone has to be similar. They also go through the whole hair and makeup process, too, so that they can stand there to be the double. They still need to be similar, or as close as possible, to the lead actor. C: Then, I’m out. I’m a “black egg.” LYN: What is that?? I’ve never heard that term before. You’re so dark you… look like an egg? I don’t know. What does that mean? C: A century egg, is a “black egg.” LYN: Oh~ C: A tea egg. LYN: Oh, ok.

bgm: 我只愿朝着光 (I Only Wish to Face the Light) - Be Your Own Light OST

C: Are doubles paid by the production company? LYN: Well, yeah. The production pays them because they’re production staff. We’re all the same. Even actors get paid by the production company. 

C: Are there mouth doubles? - [t/n: can also mean “lip”] LYN: /licks his lips/ LYN: What do you mean “mouth double”? That is- when you need to kiss, someone else comes and does it for you? A kiss double, or? What are you referring to? What does “mouth double” mean? LYN: Does a “mouth” double speak on your behalf? There’s nothing like that because you have to act it out yourself. C: Kiss double. LYN: I don’t know… I have yet to encounter a kiss double. For example, there’s a scene that requires me to kiss someone, and the FL says, “Sorry. Not me. You come over here and kiss him.”? I haven’t heard of this before. C: Ning-ge, I’m willing to replace the FL. LYN: I have heard that some dramas DO use kiss doubles, though. Some dramas. I’ve heard about before. I’m not quite sure how they do it, but one time they showed me a scene and told me it was a kiss double. I was surprised. It’s great. Amazing. I don’t think they’re needed anymore? I don’t think people do it much anymore, because honestly this entertainment circle is pretty fierce. Who would dare to ask for one? There were a lot before- I’m hearing this from the stories my actor friends have told me. But nowadays, what young person would dare? They’d be plagued by antis until death. No one dares. 

LYN: The other day I was shooting a scene with another actor, and there was a line that was extremely long. It was an inexplicable poem. It was ridiculously long. Not like the ones we’ve learned before. It was so difficult to memorize and we needed to shoot it in a rush, but there wasn’t a lot of time and the pressure was on. We got halfway through the lines before we got stuck because it was just too long and strange. Later when we were rehearsing they told me, jokingly, “If I forget my lines I’m just going to say, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5.” “A, B, C, D, E.”” and I replied, “You wouldn’t dare!” They were joking, of course, and I was also joking back. I said, “You can’t do that because there’s one problem. Not only are we shooting the drama right now and there are crew members around, but there are also paparazzi. They’re all around us. Even if you were joking, if you were caught on video and it was shared online it’s going to affect your career for the rest of your life. You cant joke with this.” We’re really doing it as a joke, but the people around us don’t know that. If someone catches video of that and sells it at a high price and it’s shared online? You’ll be ridiculed until death. No amount of explanation will get you out. LYN: People always talk about “number actors” but really no one dares to try that anymore. At latest I haven’t met anyone. I’ve heard some different ridiculous things, but I won’t tell you about them now. I’ll tell you when I’m sixty. Some really ridiculous moves.

LYN: With my current identity as a rookie actor I have no right to comment on other people’s reasonings and also it’s not good for me to be talking about other people. That’s why when I’m sixty I’ll do a “倚老卖老” (an older person relying on their age to despise others). I’ll share with you, then. That’s why we have to maintain a healthy body! So that when I’m sixty I can do a livestream and tell you a no holds barred account of all my years in this industry. Everything I’ve experienced and things that are outrageous. C: Will you still remember everything when you’re sixty? LYN: I’ll write down every outrageous thing on a little note and put it in a box. Even if I don’t remember, I could just open the box, look at the note and I will know. Alright? C: Will you write a diary? LYN: No.

---------- 

C: Why has your voice changed? LYN: Has my voice changed? Do you think it has? No, right? This is just the way it is. LYN: Why would someone say my voice has changed? At this age, have I just entered puberty and my voice is changing? Huh? It hasn’t changed, right? LYN: ~No way. I think I’ve always sounded like this. It’s never changed. Maybe you just didn’t know me well enough before. You might think that I can only speak with a Northeastern dialect.~ C: Your voice sounds more thrilling. LYN: ~I don’t think so. In order to do that all I need to do is find a common topic, so it seems more thrilling. It will give my voice some highlights.~ C: It’s more gentle. LYN: ~ If it’s gentle you want then I need to add more breath into it. Am I gentle enough now? ~ C: Today is my birthday, can you wish me a “Happy Birthday”? LYN: ~ Alright. Happy Birthday. ~ LYN: ~ Someone told me that if I continue to be this gentle, their dreams tonight will all be of me. /sigh/ You don’t need to do that. ~

LYN: ! I think for the rest of the night I should use this sort of fake style to chat with you all. What do you think?

C: Lao-da, when they’re doing acupuncture are they really pricking you? LYN: Of course not. Because honestly it does hurt. It’s not worth it.

C: Thanks to you I have less homework tonight and I can watch your stream. LYN: ?? Thanks to me?? What does you having less homework have to do with me? Did I abduct your teacher or something? Why is it thanks to me? How strange! 

C: Lao-da, you gained 5k fans. LYN: /laughs/ That just means these 5k people have some sort of small interest in me. Even if they don’t like me, at least they don’t hate me, right? I’d like to thank all the friends who are already following me. If you are not yet subscribed, please do so. The next time I stream you won’t miss it. Thank you, everyone. It’s my honor. 

C: Are you wearing a wig? LYN: I already told you- I don’t really have many faults, but the one I do have is that I’m balding. From here (middle of head) to here (front of head)- /shrugs/ my hair’s flown away. At this moment I am using the hat to cover it and in the front is fake bangs that I bought online for 18rmb. Just so that you can see a slightly more normal person. Please don’t mind it, okay? Don’t look down on people. 

C: My kid is six and they watch your stream and laugh. LYN: They have good taste. Children are the most honest. So the fact that they are happy when they see me means… they like me. They like this uncle. 

bgm: 黑夜一束光 (Praying)

C: Speak properly. LYN: Am I not speaking properly now? I’m only using Standard Mandarin. You really don’t like it? Are you really so against me speaking the standard dialect? /sigh/ I really don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I’ve only just started to speak Standard Mandarin, and you’re holding it against me??  C: Super not accustomed to it. LYN: Is it that bad?!? I only spoke a few words in the standard dialect, why are you being like this to me?? /cackles/ C: I’m finally awake from this illusion. LYN: Yes, I’ll stop messing around now. I’ll return to normal.

-----

C: Lao-da, can you use a villain’s tone to speak? LYN: Haven’t you ever heard that saying- is there any bad guy on earth who would call themselves a bad guy? Does a villain sound different from everyone else? There is no difference. As an actor playing a villain, would you consider yourself one and go around saying, “I’m a villain?” They would never. They’ll think that what they’re doing is the right thing. LYN: When I was acting as BCF I knew I was going to be the villain. But there were times when I was reciting my lines that I would think about what I was saying and I couldn’t understand, from my own worldview. I tried to find some way to convince myself  that would support BCF’s beliefs, because I felt like what I was saying was not humane. But there was nothing I could do. I had to find a way. So I stood from the character’s perspective and thought everything I was doing was in the right and I wasn’t wrong. Everything I did, I did with reason. I’ve played- I can’t say I always play the villain, but I’ve acted as them before. C: Da Bai wasn’t a villain, was he? LYN: He was, in the drama. But in his own world he was a hero. The first drama I acted in- Hot Blooded Youth- Wei Chengfeng was a villain through and through. - [t/n: call me a WCF apologist, because I understood where he was coming from. >.> ]

C: Lao-da, is the inner entertainment circle easy to mingle in? LYN: Let me tell you- when I see these questions, if it were me before, I would answer. But now I really don’t dare to. My streams used to be really self-contained, so whatever I was saying wouldn’t be spread around. But right now I really wouldn’t dare to answer this type of question. This type of question has the same logic as the problem of which came first: the chicken or the egg. No matter how you answer, it’s problematic. Do you get me? No matter how I answer, it’d be wrong. If I say it’s easy, that’s definitely wrong. If I say it’s hard, then people will tell me to get out of it. There’s no correct answer. No matter what you say, you’re going to be criticised for it. So I choose not to answer this question. LYN: There IS a way to answer it, and that’s by using a different type of logic, which is: “I don’t know if it’s easy or not, but if you want to know you can come and find out for yourself.” Everyone’s feelings are different. I have my feeligns and you have yours, so if you have the chance you should come and experience it for yourself. You may gain happiness or you may gain suffering. It’s not a sure thing, so you should try it for yourself.    C: Tell us when you’re sixty. LYN: There’s nothing to tell you! For anything you do there’s a sweet side and a bitter side. Using my work as an example, there’s nothing that ever goes smoothly from start to finish. Likewise, there’s nothing that you will suffer through from start to finish. Everything is relative.

C: Ning-ge, are crying scenes difficult for you? LYN: They are. They’re extremely difficult. Because ever since I was little I was someone who didn’t like to cry. I was always very brave. So crying scenes for me are extremely difficult. Whenever there’s a scene I need to cry in I will have so much pressure and suffering. Because ever since I was little, I didn’t like to cry. - /laughs at himself, starts a thought and doesn’t end up finishing it/ - /starts singing 勇敢勇敢 by Huang Yong instead/ C: Where did the “crybaby” nickname come from, then? LYN: I don’t like to cry that much. I’m not someone who really likes to cry. If I do it in a drama that because I need to for work and other times it’s because zqsg. It’s possible. When acting it’s all about the zqsg. That’s normal, but in my daily life I don’t like to cry much. - [t/n: zqsg = 真情实感 (zhēnqíng shígǎn) = true feelings]

C: Didn’t you say you were scared into crying on The Truth? LYN: Scared tears and normal tears are two different things. Being scared to tears is passive. It’s not something you can control. It’s a psychological reaction. Well, acting also counts as a psychological reaction. LYN: It was actually really scary though! C: You were scared to tears when riding the horse, though? LYN: I wasn’t scared to tears when riding the horse, it was because of the wind. The horse was a little too fast and the wind blew into my eyes. But... good thing my eyes are small! I’ll say it myself first. If the wind blows them too open, I can also start to tear up. The tears were because of the wind. 

C: Ning-ge, how can you cry to have a tear fall from only one eye? LYN: I really can’t teach you! Are you an actor? If you are then go find a professional teacher to learn from, what are you learning from me for? What do you mean tears from only one eye?? I- the next time you cry, you can try to feel it for yourself. Of your two eyes there’s a high probability that the tears will fall from one eye first. One will fill with tears faster than the other. They usually don’t fall at the same time. That only happens when both are full. When you cry normally, one falls first. LYN: I know an actor friend that can control whether the tear falls from their left eye or their right. At the time I thought, “Wow. That’s so amazing!” When we were filming one of the scenes together and it was their turn- because when I cry, I’m just doing it instinctually. I’m just naturally crying. I won’t get into the details, but the result it the same- I cry. I can’t determine which eye the tears fall from first. Sometimes it’s the left and sometimes it’s the right. But I found out that they can control it, so I asked, “How do you control which eye the tear falls from?” So they taught me. It’s something that you feel is very amazing, it sounds amazing, but once you know how it’s done you’ll think, “Oh, it was actually so simple!” The method is very simple, but whether you can pull it off or not is a different matter. After they told me how, I realized it was very simple.  C: Tear drops. LYN: No, not that. What actor would dare to use tear drops nowadays?

C: Ning-ge, why don’t you demonstrate? // Is it top secret? LYN: It’s not a secret. Actually, I can- how about this. If you want to know then send me 50rmb in WeChat and I’ll teach you the method. You think you’re watching me stream, but in reality I am also selling classes. The classes don’t have any content, rather I’m just telling you a ridiculous- no, it’s not ridiculous… It looks like I’m streaming for free, but now I’m starting to reap my harvest. If you want to know the secret  I was talking about you need to send me 50rmb. C: I don’t want to know. Bye. LYN: … LYN: You already know that I’m joking. I know that you are too, but can’t you just indulge me? Can’t you open your heart a little bigger and just indulge me?? I’m feeling a little arrogant, so you need to follow my flow a little bit. You can’t just leave me hanging! Right?! You need to make it out like you’re very interested in the answer or want to haggle the price, and that way we get a story out of it. 1. You could beg me to tell you. 2. You’re desperate to know but you created a characterization of yourself- which is that you’re very stingy- so you want to haggle the price with me, and in the end I make a deal with you at 35rmb. That’s the way a story can develop. You need to create the process. You can’t just cut if off like that. For example, in this case I said “send me 50rmb” and you just turned me down and left. In that case the story ends. That’s no good. Can’t you just work with me a little?? D: C: 5rmb. LYN: Actually, 5rmb would be ok too. With all of you here, you could negotiate a group offer. XD

C: 1rmb. Teach me, friend. LYN: /laughs/ LYN: I really did learn this ability, though. They taught me how and I tried, and it worked! It looked like a difficult thing to do but was accomplished simply. If you don’t learn how though, you really can’t do it. It’s like going to a restaurant to eat a dish but they have a secret recipe. When you’re looking at the recipe you think it’s difficult to make but after you’ve made it you think it was easy. If no one tells you how to do it, though- C: Show us. LYN: Am… Am I crazy? First of all, I’m streaming so there’s no need for me to sit here crying for no reason, is there? Secondly, if it were to get out that I’m crying in my stream wouldn’t that be grounds for people to ridicule me until I die? Anti-LYN: LYN thinks he’s all that, acting in his streams and telling his fans that “this is what acting is”? We all know how his acting is, and he’s demonstrationg on stream how to cry?? They’re requesting crying scenes from him??? I don’t know what’s wrong with this industry, can just anyone and everyone act now? Who is it exactly, that’s backing him? Who indulges him? Even someone like him can go into acting- that’s too unfair. LYN: I have predicted your prediction. Excuse me, I have predicted your prediction to my prediction. (uno-reverse)

C: Is this a real person? LYN: AI. I’m an AI image, right now. I’ve actually snuck away and am soaking my feet. I’m getting ready to sleep, but my AI is sitting here streaming for you. 

C: Ning-ge, if you see me, then breathe. LYN: /laughs/ 

----- Cicada Girls

C: Ning-ge, can we talk about Xiao Bei (Cicada Girls)? LYN: Yeah, we can. Why not? What do you want to talk about? C: When can I meet him? LYN: I don’t know. I really don’t know. I haven’t received any news, but they did send me some OSTs. As for the other stuff I don’t know. 

C: Does Xiao Bei have a BE? LYN: I don’t know. I can’t spoil it. You can watch it when the time comes. LYN: When I was acting as XB, since it was a modern drama, now that I think about it I didn’t control what I was eating. I was eating lots every day. I was happy just to eat. Eating every day~ We were shooting in Chongqing, so I didn’t care. I ate and relaxed. C: Weren’t you working out then? LYN: It wasn’t then. It was before XB, when I was in Beijing for a period of time. I was working out constantly, then. I found a trainer and everything. Because last year I know I had promised to show you abs by the end of the year. But once I starting shooting the drama it was really tiring and I wasn’t in the mood to work out anymore. 

C: Is XB the 1ML or 2ML? LYN: It’s not important. Xiao Bei is Xiao Bei, and he is just one of my many roles. (His rank) is not important. Whether 1ML or 2ML, I still get paid. I still get the same amount of scenes. So it’s not important.

C: Is Gao Weiguang taller than you are? LYN: He is! He seriously is. It’s been two- three consecutive dramas where I’ve met someone taller than me. Yuan Lu is taller than I am. Chen Youwei. When I first went to shoot the drama, we were in Dunhuang on the first day and we went out to eat, to get to know each other. I saw him and thought, “Wow, CYW’s so tall??!” He’s taller than I am, but he’s acting as my little brother. “My little brother is taller than I am! His development is too good, isn’t it??” I guess I can’t say that he’s taller than I am, but that we are around the same height. The difference does not exceed 1cm. But GWG really is taller than I am, for sure. C: What about Zhang Linghe? LYN: I think we’re around the same height? We haven’t measured, but I don’t think the difference between us would be more than 1cm. It’s not like the first thing I did when I saw him was go, “Come here, kid, Let’s compare heights.” It’s not necessary. If we hang out we’ll get a general idea of what the difference is. It’s not like we’re competitive about it, and there’s no need to be! ZKY, too. When the three of us are together we’re all pretty tall. One look and you can see that we’re all similar in height. The difference won’t be more than 2cm. C: I’d like to see you work on a drama together. LYN: If there’s an opportunity. 

bgm: 狂風襲來 (Fierce Wind Raid) - West Out of Yumen/Parallel World OST LYN: When I was recording for the program BY had told me that he sang this too. I replied, “Oh? You sang it?” and he told me that he went to some event and sang this song. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw4kBfY94XE]

C: Ning-ge, did you change your studio team? LYN: I haven’t. You’ve noticed that the studio contents seem to have gone through a change, right? I went to Disney the other day and people got photos of my staff and they commented, “Oh. No wonder the posts the studio is making suits our tastes. He added some after-‘00 liners. The studio added new members, and they’re born after the 2000’s.” C: Is your studio still recruiting? LYN: Our team is full at the moment. We’re not recruiting. I have enough people. So, we’re no longer recruiting at this moment. Go find work elsewhere.

C: So are they new? LYN: They’re not new. I’ve told you before, that I didn’t used to like taking photos or videos. For example when I had to attend events- like most recently the one for DragonTV. Most of the time artists have to take setting off pictures- you’ve seen them for things like Weibo Night. “Setting off” pictures. What that means is that when they’re ready to go, they’ll post photos so that everyone who is paying attention to them that day can see what they’re wearing and how they’re styled and with what makeup. Is it tasteful? Does it look good? Are they handsome or not? Pretty or not? That’s standard operation for an artist- no matter what you’re doing, you have to post photos first. To let people know, “I’m heading out to an event. What do you think of my outfit? I got it from Taobao.” They need to tell people who they’re wearing. It’s something all artists will do. LYN: But I- honestly, I don’t think I am good-looking. So I really hate taking photos and shooting promo ads. I really don’t like those two things. I don’t like making poses because even when I do the picture doesn’t come out nice. No matter what I do, it looks strange. So I really didn’t like taking photos or videos, and would tell my staff not to take photos of me. Another thing is that when I’m attending these events I’m usually there to sing. At an actor’s event, I’m singing. At a singer’s event, I’m also singing. I always have a performance when I’m at an event. They’ll say, “Since you’re coming, why don’t we add you to the program?” So in my mind I’m there to perform, not to make myself pretty and walk the carpet, get on stage to accept an award, say a speech, and leave. Usually I have a performance, and I’m singing a song. I’m under a lot of pressure- it’s self-given. I want to make sure I do well and don’t mess up because I’m a singer after all, even though I’ve been acting lately. So when my studio would tell me, “Boss, let’s take some photos. 🙏” I’d get really annoyed at them and say, “I don’t want to!” Then I found out that everyone else was taking these photos, so I’d say, “Take some, take some. Hurry. That’s enough. Ok. Ok. You’re only posting 6 or 7, that’s enough.” My staff are actually pretty helpless to do anything. Of course, I don’t speak to them that way. I was just exaggerating. I don’t actually treat my staff that way. LYN: I’d say, “~ Can we stop taking photos now? I’m a little… annoyed. :) I still have a performance later, can we move along? They said we only need six photos, right? We have about enough. Trust me. We have enough. :) It won’t be a problem. You’re already doing great.👍~” “~I think you’ve all worked hard today. Why don’t you take a break and fix up the photos we got and just post them? Alright? Then, I will go prepare.~” LYN: Do you believe the former way more, or the latter way? /laughs/ C: I believe the former one more. LYN: Ok, yeah. It leans more towards the former, but not as arrogant. They won’t force me, though. But at that time I was conflicted about it. I didn’t want to take pictures. I just wanted to pull off my performance successfully, and participate in the event a little but otherwise be done with it.

LYN: But I would get yelled at by my own fans. Anti LYN: “It’s so late already, why haven’t you posted any photos when all the other artists have?? Where are they? Why aren’t there any? What does your studio even DO??” LYN: Isn’t that… them yelling at me? It just felt like they were saying, “LYN. You say you’re an artist but you don’t even post photos, so what type of artist are you?? You should be coming out to do business. Your fans support you so much, so what’s wrong with taking a few photos for them? What are you being so stuck-up for? Do you think you’re too good for us?” I feel like that’s what they’re saying. That’s why later, I adjusted. When I need to post photos, I will. But if they try to take too many, I can’t take it. But I heard that a lot of artists are really intense and they’ll arrive a day early! I don’t mean anything else by it- I’m just describing a situation I’ve seen, and something that makes me think they’re really amazing. If the event is on the 8th, they’ll arrive on the 6th. They’ll start makeup and when that’s done they’ll wear their outfit for the day and take photos. On the 7th they’ll pick and edit photos. On the 8th, the actual day of the event, they’ll post the photos. LYN: I just thought they were really intense and also really amazing. But I can’t be like them. If you had me do something a day in advance I would find it really tiring. But many artists do, and it’s something I respect and admire about them. I’ve gotten better now, though. My studio will post a few things about my daily life or make a video about an event I’ve attended. I need to change, and it’s better for everyone’s development. C: Your staff complained? LYN: They didn’t. I just like to look at things myself. I realized that I probably needed to start making the change. For a lot of things no amount of advising will work. I need to realize it myself in order to make a change. Sometimes now I’ll actively tell them to call pr so we can shoot some content to post, because you all seem to enjoy it. At least this way I have an excuse for not streaming. So since I’m not streaming, at least you have something to look at. LYN: Today my staff told me that they’ve collected a bunch of material, and asked if they should post it. I told them not to post yet, because I was going to stream tonight. In a few days when I haven’t streamed and I think that my fans miss me too much, I’ll post something. To appease them. But I’m streaming today so we’re saving it. 

C: Objectively comment on the ceremony’s fan support. LYN: Your… your voices are pretty loud. You sure can shout. It’s not bad. I’ve said before, that a lot of my fans are actually kettles that have become human. C: Do you like it? Tell the truth. LYN: You could just ask the first three words, why did you add the next three? What’s there for you to be proud of? Did you also shout? Were you a part of the kettle boiling? Of the 12 major scales, were you in charge of one of them? And you’re asking me, /coyly/ “Did you like it? Tell the truth.” Even I can imagine what type of face you’re making! LYN: ~Did you like it? Tell the truth~ :) ~ LYN: It was quite nice, I just didn’t expect it. Because there are rarely daytime events, and the tickets were limited. So there were a few friends who relied on some connections to get in. Someone’s relative, or some acquaintance, that were able to get you tickets and get you in. I didn’t expect there to be so many of you. It was unexpected. I can’t say you made me look good, but at least knowing that you were there to support me made me happy. C: I bought the ticket myself. LYN: Very good. In any case, you were all quite loud. There were so many people including seniors and rookies*, but I was glad to have you there. You’ve worked hard. - [t/n: *meaning they weren’t drowned out by the groups of other fans.]

C: Chat about the fan support in Changsha. LYN: I was happy to see the Changsha fan-support as well. Every time I go to Changsha to record for variety shows, many of you go to see me. I’m really thankful for you to make the trip to see me, and to shout for me and support me. You’re really saving me face. You’ve come from a long way, too. I know that’s not easy. Knowing that you did that, I think that the least I could do is come out to greet you all. I know that I’m very safe with you. No one is going to try to rush at me or make a mess of things. Sometimes you may look rowdy, but I know that’s because other people’s fans  or paparazzi are trying to squeeze over to look at a monkey. My fans are very polite, and stand their ground even when I come out to see you. It’s nice, and you’re always like that. LYN: But this time around, because… that other person (SZE?) is afraid of anything happening when they attend events. If there’s any problem, then it will turn into a major thing. This time, I didn’t go over to greet them and I had told them about it. But I’m still thankful that you came to support me. I really appreciate it. Thank you. LYN: It was raining that day, too. So I really am very grateful.  C: You broke the bank on milk teas. LYN: It was fine. Those things are for a purpose. It’s nothing. 

-----

C: Talk about The Truth. LYN: There’s nothing really to say about it? I’ve already said all I could. I’m close with the cast this year, except for the one new friend. But we had a fun time recording and quickly became friends. BY, ZKY, and I count as the more experienced players, as we’re carried over from last season. It’s not that we’re guiding the new players, but that we have more of an insight due to the experience. We’ll tell the new players about what happened to us last season and how the crew will attempt to mess with us. Or, from a reasoning perspective, what way we can look at things in order to solve the riddles. We’ll share what we know, even if what we’re saying is mostly nonsense. LYN: We’ll tell them, “If the production set it up this way, then that means this will happen next” and the thing doesn’t happen at all. “This problem is so simple! It’s this, plus this. Divided by this. Then that means the answer is this-” and we don’t solve it at all. We thought there’d be an advantage to being an experienced player but in the end it doesn’t help at all. And we’re over here trying to teach them??? Later when I looked back on it I was wondering, “Do they find me really annoying?” I thought I was being smart, but in the end I’m all wrong. 

LYN: In the first episode BY, ZKY, and I would be more proactive in sharing what we think and how to solve the problems. We’re doing it with good intentions, because we want to show the new players how to play. But they play better than we do. That’s the most embarrassing part! I thought I’d be able to guide them through it, but they know the game better than I do! Later it got better, and we played all together. It was fun. At the very least, we blended well. LYN: When you’re recording a show, one part of it is the show itself and the second part is the relationships between people. People who always watch variety shows will know, actually you’re watching for the relationships. You want to see if this group of people work well together or not. Are they fun to watch? Do you like seeing them get together and chat? Even if it’s something silly as reasoning, it’s the matter of whether you like to see it or not. The atmosphere they create is very important. This season is really not bad at all- we’re great together, because we all know each other and we’re good people.

C: Is it all recorded before it’s aired? LYN: No. It should air before we finish recording all the episodes. We’ll record and broadcast at the same time. There’s still editing and getting clearance from censors- the process is actually a lot like that of a drama’s. After it passes censors, they’ll cut and fix before putting the episodes together. It’s the same as with a drama. It won’t be too long. I’m sure you’ll see it before the month is up. I hope so, at least. It’s not a sure thing.

- /fixing his hair/ LYN: It’s a little long. But I’ve just had it trimmed. :\

LYN: When I was recording for this program I felt like… I’ve changed so much so that it doesn’t feel like me. Before when I used to attend events or variety shows I would be more relaxed. I thought, “As long as I’m having fun!” Because for variety shows you need to be 1) invested in the story and 2) be active. But now I guess I’ve experienced some… slight cyber bullying. Maybe not “cyber bullying” but some... setbacks. Now I have worries. I kept thinking- let me share with you. LYN: I’m actually nervous for this season. I went to record for the show, and this season there are some musical elements involved. I won’t go into details, but you’ll hear us sing. At the time I was in a group with ZLH- we’re all singing the same song. Then, after we sang… /pause/ We’re singing the same part of the song! Because it’s particularly difficult to memorize. So when we sang it, it was maybe slightly easier for me, since I am still considered a professional singer, right? I could approach it normally. But for him, he is not… the best… at singing. When he was singing I- /looked at ZLH like “?!”/ I thought he was really amusing! What an interesting person! So when he was singing I thought it was pretty fun. I don’t know. In any case, during the process I understood the charm of his singing. There’s nothing wrong with me phrasing it like that, right? I understood the charm of his singing. That’s why in the show I kept cueing him, saying, “I don’t want to hear anyone else sing. I want to hear ZLH.” “Sing something. Come on, let’s do it together!” Actually- it’s because he’s a new player, so I wanted to break the ice with some playful ribbing. He didn’t sing, and it’s not like I would have FORCED him! But it ended up becoming a small inside joke. I said to him, “I just want to hear you sing. I’m begging you. Please!” But through the process of the show, we continued joking like this. And he can take a joke, too. He’d say, “I won’t sing!” so I replied, “If I send you 100rmb, will you sing? I’m begging.” We’ll make these types of jokes. LYN: But after we finished recording and I got home and was lying on my bed, I started thinking: “Was that problematic?” When the show airs, would people think, “LYN, why are you such a terrible person? Are you making fun of him?? What do you mean by that? You’re a singer, so you sound nice and that makes you think you can make fun of others?” I was lying on my bed, thinking of this problem. “You’re forcing him! You’re-” /cuts himself off/ “-bullying new players!” I was thinking of this problem, tossing and turning, and couldn’t sleep for a long time. I was thinking to myself, “It’s fine, right? People will know I was joking?” “I don’t need to bring him down just to prove how great of a singer I am, there’s no need for that! I’m not going to benefit in any way from doing that.” I just kept thinking about it. After a few days of mulling it over I decided it wasn’t a big deal. If we’re all getting along well then no one would think in that direction. Anyway, I just want to share that I’m a little 前怕狼后怕虎 (qián pà láng hòu pà hǔ; lit. fear the wolf in front and the tiger behind; needless fears)

LYN: I’ll think too much now, and I think that makes me unhappy. LYN: But I just need some time to adjust and regain my previous mental state. I need to move forward, but without losing myself and my own personality. I think that’s very important. 

bgm: 就在江湖之上 (Above the Jianghu) - Mysterious Lotus Casebook OST

LYN: I’ve been streaming for more than four hours already?? I’ve streamed for more than four hours, already. LYN: /to the melody of 我的滑板鞋 (My Skate Shoes)/ ~Time is moving so swiftly. Night has fallen. I believe I must take my leave. I’ve forgotten many things, but I still remember in my imagination there are a pair of skate shoes. When I wear them, I am sure to dance well!~ LYN: How about this, friends? Today, I will- what time is it now? 9:59p. I’ll stream until 10:30p. Okay? I’ll stream another half-hour. We’ll go until 10:30p. I’ll chat with you some more, since I haven’t in a long time. We’ll chat. But wait for me a sec. I’ll use the restroom. 

---------- break #4

LYN: Good evening, my friends! LYN: Oh? Really? Fifty million (people watching the stream). I don’t believe this is possible! 

C: Quick, get off of LYN. [a ghost?] LYN: You mean, “I don’t care who you are, I order you to get off LYN?” LYN: Why are you saying it so terrifyingly?

C: LYN, just be yourself. This is just the way the world is. LYN: I- never complain. Because it doesn’t do me any good. I have my own rhythm and I’ll just have to slowly adjust, because my environment isn’t the same as it was before. 

C: Are there any new dramas? LYN: I’m working hard to film them quickly! It’s difficult for me to come across a drama and script that I like. But I’m doing my best to shoot them, so I hope you can be less restless and less impatient. 

C: Ge, are you not singing today? LYN: You must have just come in. You just came in, so what gives you the right to start making demands? You don’t know that you’re late?! I already sang, but I haven’t eaten much today so I don’t have enough strength. I won’t be singing. I can hum a little but not properly sing.

C: /telling him to comment on other people/ LYN: What gives me the right to? Who am I to judge other people? Do you think I’m like those content creators who rate this and rate that? I don’t rely on my videos to gain ad revenue. I don't need to judge people. Don’t scare me. I wouldn’t dare to comment on anyone. Even with my close friends, I have to be careful. I have to be careful when I mention their names, even when joking. So I just won’t mention them anymore. Because when you’re in this industry your job is to bring people happiness or entertainment, so I used to think that mentioning my friends and seeing how close we were to each other would have the same effect. But now everything is criticized (as a matter of principle), so I don’t mention them anymore. If everything is going to be criticized I might as well not say anything. Not making trouble is better than having trouble. LYN: So I’ll try my best not to mention anyone if there’s no need to bring them up.

bgm: 遥远的相似 (Distant Resemblance) - South Wind Knows OST

C: Are you still going to be on Mao Xue Woof? LYN: When I went to record for Hello Saturday, Xueqin asked me what I was doing in May. But I’d be shooting my drama, then. I think she said that it would start recording in May, so if I had time I could go do an episode. But I’d already be in my new crew by then so I don’t think I can go. I’m going to miss it again. How regretful!

C: My mom says that you look very cultured/refined. LYN: … It’s not followed by “degenerate” is it? She said “refined” and it wasn’t followed by anything, like “This kid looks like a refined d-d…” /can’t bring himself to say it/. Right? /puts on some shades/ Oh~ LYN: Auntie, I’m just faking it. Jie, I’m faking it. I’m just a hoodlum of society. I’m not very refined or a refined person. 

C: Ning-ge, my roommate says you’re very handsome. LYN: /pleased/ It’s been a long time since I’ve heard someone call me handsome. Friends, this is a secondary account I’ve created. It makes posts automatically. When you say the keyword it will post the comment automatically, “LYN you’re very handsome. Really.” C: My husband says you’re very handsome. LYN: That’s not necessary. I’m sure that your husband is the most handsome person in your heart. I’m just average. - cue You Are My Destiny~~ LYN: I need to change the bgm for this!

C: My mom and dad have seen your journey and think you’re really impressive. LYN: I’m not impressive. But I think… Sometimes I will think back on what I’ve experienced and what I’ve been through on this road. I think it’s pretty magical. When I went back to Dandong for a bit, I especially felt this. This whole journey has been magical. I don’t think I am all that amazing, but more of that I got lucky in my choices. When I first started out, after I went viral, I was really popular. Even I think so- I was popular, and there was a lot of interest in me. But at that time I didn’t choose to continue to be a streamer. I chose to become a celebrity. I didn’t choose to take business deals to go around to various events and sing for money. I did something that didn’t make me money instead. I started acting. At that time I had never acted before, but jumped right in. Of course, it’s because of this that I was able to meet someone I’m indebted to. They gave me a hand and an opportunity. LYN: I think it’s all about choice. At every juncture, I didn’t make too bad of a choice. It’s been that way up until today. When I look back and try to think of a choice I made incorrectly, I can’t come up with one. Of course, there’s no turning back in life. /thinks/ I did make some wrong choices. But I’ll use them as experience and consider it a training. If your whole life was smoothly paved, you won’t learn anything. LYN: I can’t say that my life was smooth, but I also don’t want to play the sympathy card and tell you exactly how difficult the process was. Some things I can’t say. 1) It’s something I can’t tell you viewers, and 2) If I tell you only my fans would feel sorry for me. The greater community won’t care. Passersby or people who don’t like me won’t feel sorry for me, so there’s no need to voice all the things I thought were hard or tiring. There’s no need to. LYN: I remember there’s a song from Wang Yuan called “世界上没有真正的感同身受” (There’s No True Empathy In This World). I think I’ve heard it before. I think it’s really right. It’s hard to feel true empathy. So even if you were to tell about your hardships there wouldn’t be any meaning to doing it. 

LYN: I’ve told you, right? I shot a drama once. I think I told you. That’s when I decided I wanted to be an actor, and I liked doing it. But after shooting for that drama for one week I got back to my hotel room and I stood there in front of the mirror looking at myself- still in wig and makeup. I looked into the mirror and told myself, “LYN, you’re a singer. You could have just sung your songs and made enough to feed yourself, so why did you start acting? Why do you want to be an actor? Why??” LYN: There were times when I would interrogate myself like this. Back then I almost gave myself a mental illness. You might think that’s something you only see on tv- after all how many people in real life would talk to themselves in the mirror? Very few. At that time I was already at that stage. C: Were you mezmerized by your own good looks in the mirror? LYN: /defeated/ LYN: You’ve probably seen less of me than I have. I’ve been looking at myself for 30+ years. I’m just glad I don’t want to throw up. How could I be surprised by my own good looks? No way. I just wanted to say that on the road to becoming an actor you’ll make decisions you might consider a regret at the time, but become a gain later on. It helps me to adjust my way of thinking. For example if I encounter something I don’t think is good enough I will be conflicted over it. “This won’t do. What is this? I can’t do this.” But later when I thought about it I was limiting my possibilities. Throughout this whole process I’m learning to convince myself, open myself to feeling more and experiencing more. In the end I hope I can convey that to you.

C: Ning-ge, the script where you’re a dominating CEO… LYN: First of all, I’m not as popular as you think I am- I don’t have a lot of work which allows me to pick and choose whatever drama I want. I’m happy to have work in the first place. I’m grateful that a drama would even consider me. I’m just cruising along looking for some way to fill my stomach. That’s the first thing- a dominating CEO is not something I can act as just because I want to. Secondly,- ~ Woman, you’re playing with fire, but you’ve successfully gained my attention. If there’s an opportunity I might… actually consider accepting a role. ~ Just kidding. :) LYN: Honestly a lot of times I discovered this problem- that is, some roles I’ve accepted are already that of a dominating CEO, only it’s a guzhuang version. It’s the same sort of character. ~ Woman, I told you to shut your mouth. Within three minutes, collect your belongings and get out. ~ Isn’t that a dominating CEO? It’s all the same lines but just in a different era. - /comparing lines in guzhuang vs modern dramas/ LYN: So if you’re saying that you want to see me act as a dominating CEO, probably some of my guzhuang roles can also fulfill that wish. 

C: I want to see Daimi. LYN: Maybe later.

C: Ning-ge, can you play a villain that doesn’t die? LYN: A villain that survives in the end? I can. I’ll try, at least. If one such roles comes to me, I’d accept it. C: A villain who turns good in the end. LYN: That’s difficult. Because the problem of the logic- from what I’ve heard- is that as long as you’ve done bad things… You can shout all you want, “I’m going to kill AAA. I’m going to do BBB. I’ll destroy the three realms!” But as long as you don’t actually DO anything, it’s fine. Maybe you can be redeemed. But the moment you actually DO those things, I don’t think there’s any redemption. 

C: Ning-ge, if you have time why not become a voice actor? LYN: I know a lot of people have suggested it, but I need to tell you something: I’m not worthy. I like voice acting, so sometimes I’ll listen to the works of the really amazing professional voice actors. There’s really a difference. Their voices not only sound good, but their control is far superior. I’m not worthy to be a voice actor. They’re much more amazing than I am. It’s just something some people can do but others can’t. You can’t bring the same feeling/emotion to it. Some lines, like saying the name of the moves or even something like, “Bring me your life!”- it doesn’t have the same feeling. There’s still a difference. I can’t be a voice actor. If there are opportunities for me to try, I would definitely try though.

C: Go voice act for Disney. LYN: I don’t think I qualify for that either. /Minnie Mouse in the elevator/ “You’ve reached the third floor!” “The lobby is on the first floor.” “Oh~ My friend! Welcome to Shanghai Disney!” 

----- Daimi Time

LYN: Daimi-ah. Daimi. Come here, please. LYN: Come. Come on. LYN: She’s gotten her immunizations lately, so we haven’t given her a bath. She looks kind of dirty, but please don’t mind it. She can’t get wet because of the shots so she’s… scrunkly. She’s not fat, though. We’ve been regulating her diet. She was sleeping, and I woke her up. - /Daimi looks up at him/ LYN: Don’t move. Go away. How annoying. - /puts his glasses on her head, and they fall off/ LYN: You’re going to break my glasses! -- Neon Sweetheart LYN: She’s getting annoyed.

LYN: Alright, that’s about it. I’ve streamed for kind of long today. If I have time lately I’ll try to come stream more. Thank you for keeping me company and for your support. /pauses/ I forgot my closing lines. /buffering/ I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you and I hope you had fun. Let’s meet again in the next stream~ Bye bye, everyone!

[sirfrogsworth]

The eulogy went well. Got a lot of compliments.

Though only two of the jokes landed and I spent like 5 minutes talking about how funny I was, so that was a little awkward.

I haven't written jokes that weren't meant to be read in over 20 years. The written word is a completely different animal than verbal humor and I am rusty as hell. My last stand up performance was before I turned 21. So... yeah, it's been a while since I had to connect with a live crowd. Also, verbal jokes usually require testing and polishing before they get locked in.

Not trying to make excuses. Just saying that making people laugh with first draft material is tricky.

The heartfelt portions of the speech were much more important and people really responded to that, so it was a success overall.

In any case, I did record everything so I'll post it after I combine the audio and video.

[animeprincessforever]

Tsukinami Brothers X Sakamaki Bros Little Sister Reader

You Belong To Us Now

WARNING SLIGHT POSSESSIVENESS

YOUR POV:

It was a normal day at the mansion with my brothers like always they were after poor Yui for her blood but now my adoptive brothers the Mukamis moved in and things are more hectic because the Founders are after Yui. For me I don’t know much my brothers won’t tell me anything. Ever since Yui came things changed. One by one they all started to forget about me and focus on Yui. To me Yui is the sister I never had, I love my brothers even though they are sadistic. Today was one of the days they knocked out Yui and I wanted a break. Everyone was doing their own thing so I decided to go for a walk. As I walked around I went deeper and deeper into the forest until I heard a noise. “WHOSE THERE?!?!” I yelled being on alert looking around trying to be aware of my surroundings suddenly a wolf appeared. 

It truly shocked me. ‘Why would a wolf had an eye patch?’ I wonder all the sudden the wolf approached me. The wolf sniffed me and licked my hand. I went on my knees and petted the wolf. “You seem friendly” I said to the wolf. Some reason the wolf looked like he grinned until I felt a pinch in the back of my neck and things went black. 

-TIME SKIP- 

I woke up in a dungeon it was cold and rusty. I looked around till I saw the wolf and a guy standing over a few feet away from me. I flinched and asked who they were. To my surprise the wolf turned into a boy. ‘?!?!’ I was dumbfounded. I just starred at the 2 men that were standing in the cell with me.

 “It’s rude to stare you know.” The one with the scarf said. “Honestly give her a break she is probably confused” the man with the eyepatch said. “Um… excuse me. Sorry to interrupt but who are you guys?” I asked nervously and to that they grinned and said “We are the last remaining founders.” 

The guy with eyepatch said his name was Shin and the one next to him is his older brother Carla. My eyes widened. ‘These are the guys that want Yui right? But they seem so nice’ I thought.  “Why am I here?” I asked. The man named Carla said “simple so we can do a little trade. We will see who is more important to the Sakamaki’s and Mukami’s you or that human.” Shin interrupted and said “but I want both! Besides we could breed the girl.” He pointed at me and I gulped. 

-Time Went By- 

it’s been awhile since I’ve been outside and to be honest I was falling head over heels for the Tsukami brothers. Even though my brothers said they aren’t the type of vampires I should be near. But still won’t stop my feelings besides. Shin will spend nights with me while Carla did day shifts. When I am sleeping Shin will be in wolf form and let me cuddle him and talk to him. While Carla did art projects with me. Both of them together fed me and clothed me well. I was laying in bed with Shin in his wolf form his head on my chest all the sudden I heard Carla. Carla said “Shin. It’s time.” Shin shape shifted back into his vampire form and picked me up. I asked over and over “where are we going?” No one answered. So I stayed quiet. All the sudden I saw Yui. Dead. Tears welled in my eyes as I jumped out of Shin’s arms and hugged her body. I was heartbroken. ‘Why Yui? Why?’ I thought. All the sudden father appeared. He grinned and said “I decided that you will marry one of the Tsukami brothers to unite our families and end the war.” I snapped and said “First you killed my friend! Second I was kidnapped. Third I am not an experiment like those women were.” 

My father grinned and snapped as Yui turned to dust. Shin and Carla went by me as my father disappeared and they both said “you belong to us now.”

The End Tysm for reading! Tell next time

[anincompletelist]

twenty questions for fic writers

thanks to @cricketnationrise @happiness-of-the-pursuit @kiwiana-writes

@ninzied @captainjunglegym for the tags friends! it's been a while since I've last done one of these so I figured I would participate again! xx

+

how many works do you have on ao3?

56! (technically 60 though… 😏🤫)

what's your total ao3 word count?

1,248,687

what fandoms do you write for?

RWRB (currently) [ 1D and teen wolf (past) ]

top five fics by kudos:

but if you could see us from a distance you'd know I've always been so close to you - the og sex curse one shot

Something Borrowed, Something Blue - enemies to lovers at june's wedding

I'll bet it all on me and you, I'll bet it all you're bulletproof - coworkers trivia fluff

praying our bridges don't make waves - soulmates with a twist

kiss me like you've got nowhere to be - roommates to lovers fluff

do you respond to comments?

nowhere near as much as I'd like to! my capacity for social interaction lately has been... lacking, to the say the least ksjhdkshd BUT I SEE AND READ THEM ALL AND I HOLD THEM SO CLOSE <3333

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ooh I can't usually do angsty endings so I'm carving my own loophole here -- the first two fics in the sex curse series are definitely my most angsty endings before they work their shit out in the third skjdhsjkhd

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of mine do, but I'd say that overall the most fluffy ones are in the firstprince first kisses series!

do you get hate on fics?

I most definitely did in my old fandom but people have been generally very kind and supportive to me here so far! :')

do you write smut?

yes!

craziest crossover:

my george x firstprince hurt/comfort is very special to me <3

(but I also have a Jeff from bottoms x Shane from minx au in the docs so ksjhdhfjh that too)

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

have you ever had a fic translated?

not in this fandom! but I have had some lovely folks record some podfics of my works! (here and here!)

have you ever co-written a fic before?

not for rwrb! (yet???? ksjhdkjhfkjh)

all time favorite ship?

I gotta go with fp! they got me like that niall horan ear crawling gif fr I'll never be the same

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh gosh I'm not sure. I HOPE I finish them all but I also have an obscene amount so ksjhdksjdhf not crossing anything off yet!

what are your writing strengths?

I think dialogue? it's always the part of my fics that I write first, and then I build the rest of the story around it. I hope it's a solid foundation!

what are your writing weaknesses?

there's a fine line between explaining and over-explaining and I think sometimes I fall into the second category skjdhkjhf. I love some introspection as much as the next guy but I'm working on only including details that feel most pertinent to the story.

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I love it! I think it can be so special and can be another way to connect readers with the characters and the story. I took Spanish all four years of high school so I'm a little rusty now, and studied French for a while a few years ago and just picked it back up recently! my translations aren't always perfect but luckily I've had some very kind people to check or point these things out for me :)

first fandom you wrote in?

..... hollywood heights sjkhdjkhgdfh

favorite fic you've written?

oh no. I am so bad at perceiving myself ksjhdjkdjfhg. I think each of my fics definitely served a purpose for me while writing them, but lately I've found myself returning to these three (I'm breaking the rules yes sorry):

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

there were pages turned with the bridges burned (everything you lose is a step you take) - diabetic!Alex

treading water in the deep, just waiting for the tides to meet -(soulmates)

but also there's a wip I'm working now which..... might take first place when I post skjdhkjsdh WE'LL SEE!

+

PLEASE PLEASE CONSIDER THIS OPEN TAG IF YOU'D LIKE TO DO IT! with all of the tumblr nonsense and how behind I've been on here lately I'm all over the place with tags at the moment.

other tags (no pressure!): @firenati0n @nocoastposts @wordsofhoneydew @thedramasummer

@heysweetheart-writes @stellarm @suseagull04 @bigassbowlingballhead

@eusuntgratie @magicandarchery @read-and-write- @iboatedhere

@anchoredarchangel @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @alasse9 @itsmaybitheway

@getmehighonmagic @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse

xx

[fraudulent-cheese]

So i watched episodes 3 to 8 of Pahkitew Island

Again, watched these with my buddy @rockin-it-rusty! And, holy shit these episodes have got me genuinly wondering why Pahkitew's so hated.

I'll go over the negatives first; the challenges are kinda eh. The Truth or Scare one is great, and the cave one is interesting due to it's hints at the Fake Island reveal (as heavy handed as they were), but most of these were just pretty out there to me? They mostly felt like an excuse to put the characters in situations mostly. Just have Topher make a narration joke, give Max and Scarlett an interaction, have Sky and Dave dance around eachother all due to a thing the challenge made them do. I don't mind the first two much, but the last one gets super repetitive man. Glad they mixed it up a bit by making Shawn try to wingman Dave though, i like their friendship! im a bigger dashawn shipper now oops

ANYWAYS IMA TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOW BECAUSE LET'S BE HONEST, THE CHARACTERS CARRY THE SHOW!

Amy... Ok im very mixed on her. On one hand, she serves her role as the mean twin relatively well. But on the other, that's all she really is! Her one trait is being mean and hating her sister, and that's all she really does! Granted she has a thing? Where she gets sayings (?) wrong, or just gets words wrong (she says parfait is german. it's french. i would know) which! could hint at something! (maybe less smart than her sister?) but they don't do shit with her outside of her swimming back to the island in episode 5. god i wanna rewrite this season so badly now to give her a bigger role. idk shoutouts to Twinning with a Twist for redeeming her while still giving her some edge ig.

Rodney. i uh

I haven't thought about him since his elimination honestly. I just doooooon't care about him it's crazy. Most forgettable guy in the entire series.

Sammy! Ok back to the siblings rambles! I wish the show leaned into her scheming more. Girl in five episodes pulled identity theft and did nothing else. Why. Her relationship with Jasmine is adorable, and i wish she got Jasmine to call her by her actual name, and a personality too! It's really a shame man :(

Sidenote, but like her team fucking hated her for some reason??? Like what. I know it's because of that one scene, but really?

Ella!! My sweet girl Ella!!! She didn't do anything wrong man she just likes singing leave her alone!!! Chris really fucking hates her and it's pretty entertaining at least, but i'd say his beef with Topher's funnier. She has a nice singing voice, and i love how passionate she is about fairytales and stuff. You could do so much with the Prince thing and the show... didn't. Like what even was that. Conflict that wasn't one that lasts an episode. what

Gotta say though, her elimination was fucking ass, Max 100% should've been kicked instead of her.

Topher. Ah the opher. He's a special case, even in the context of Pahkitew Island itself! Because the dude's not here for the game. He's here to meet his idol, Chris Mclean (he really knows how to pick em, huh). I like the progression he's got, from wanting his approval to straight up wanting to host the game instead of him. I'll admit, my opinion's a little skewed since i am mutuals with the Topher guy on Tumblr, but i like him regardless!

His relationship with Chris is easily one of the more interesting parts of the season, mostly because a 30-something year old dude having beef with a teenage fan is hilarious, and you could definitely spin it in a sad way from Topher's perspective.

It also helps that he's genuinely funny! His few interactions with the other campers are also pretty fun, he dgaf about them it's great.

Im kind of mixed on Dave, i'll be real. On one hand, im glad they ditched the whole "he doesn't like anyone on this Island" trait three episodes in because that would've gotten. SO ANNOYING. SO FAST. (hell i'd argue it was already annoying), and him being a hopeless romantic could be a fun trait, if done right. It also helps that he's really pathetic and i find that funny. His friendship with Shawn's fun too!

But on the other hand... Yeah, even before the finale the Skave plotline's really boringgg. They just dance around eachother for half the season for like! No reason! Please just have a conversation, even if it takes other people to sit them down to have it! I know why they didn't because the finale needed them to not actually talk about it but at least have Sky tell him she'll explain later or have him not be a coward and ask her about it himself!!! ack!!

Also the thing with him and Ella went literally nowhere. I have 0 feelings about it because it's just there for some reason. Idk they just really wanted to shoehorn in romance for every girl this season huh.

Scarlett's a really underutilized character pre-Island reveal. The bulk of her interactions with the other campers are with Max, who has a ton of screentime for some reason (which i don't personally really mind but i'll explain later) which honestly sucks because she's a fun character! I want to compare her to Twilight Sparkle at the very start of MLP. She's smart, she knows it, she can communicate with her teammates just fine and just chooses not to usually. I like her alot! Im just... really disapointed that she's so in the background usually; if anyone's a wasted character in tdpi, outside of the Twins i'd say it's her.

Her legit wanting to kill Max is great though. That's how i'd react to him irl. Don't get the Max saying she had a crush on him three episodes in, or the quip Chris made during the team switching tho.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, MAX! I swear, i was convinced i'd find this guy annoying pre-watch but uh... I like this guy! No really, i do! He's like Mal, only the narrative doesn't take him seriously in the slightest and it's hilarious to watch! Im like Sugar in that one clip, i am laughing at this buffoon's intelligence, and his stupid catchphrase, and his "evil" plans, and his general delivery! Max is funny!

Even when the Scarlett "minion" thing kicked in i still found him funny! Don't get me wrong, i wish he'd gotten out earlier (ESPECIALLY when he was supposed to get kicked in the episode Ella got eliminated into) or just gotten less screentime in general, but in the season proper, yeah he's a funny guy! Big gimmick, but i like him! Please don't add nuance to him, i don't care

Jasmine... certaintly exists! I'd call her the Season's rock, the one character that's emotionally intelligent on the show. She's fun in general, and also the only one noticing things going wrong with the robotic island. As said before, her relationship with Sammy is great to see, and i wished we'd see more of her and Sky's friendship and uh. For there to be more between her and Shawn? Because the only things i've retained is that they blushed at eachother once and then trust issues party because he hit her once during a challenge and that completely broke her trust in him - which, could be an interesting aspect of her character to explore since if that's all it took for her to pull a 180 on Shawn, the girl must have a complicated relationship with trust. That's an interesting flaw! It also shows up with her rapport in Sky in the later episodes of this batch, and. GOD. I wish it was developped man!

The issue? Yeah it's dragged on so longggg man! It's frustating to watch frankly because i really wish they'd resolve this conflict quicker since it's like. The same thing every episode :( to my knowledge it's solved in episode 9, but it did NOT need to be dragged out for 4 episodes.

Unrelated to her charater, but her height difference with the other campers is kind of ridiculous. In some shots the characters look so small compared to her it's crazyyy

Ok, now. Sugar. I'll be honest? She's great! She's just a menace and doing her own thing and it's fun to watch! She's also interesting in terms of backstory since she's canonically a pageant queen; her relationship with Ella is greatly impacted by this, since she heavily suspects her of lying to her face when it's just. Ella being Ella. Similar thing to her opinion on Topher; she doesn't like him for his sucking up to Chris, the host (something that Rusty probably agrees with). I fucking wish she was more popular because then people would look into her more, but alas. She's a female, plus sized character in Pahkitew Island, so considering the Fandom's biases, it was never going to happen. U_U

OK TIME FOR ZOMBIE BOY. So, Shawn. He's definitely more present in these episodes than he was before, and, again, i think he's fun! He's a weird little guy. He's got interesting skills (his camouflage, legit parkour, general athleticism) and his personality's interesting as well compared to the other guys. The zombie thing is fine, actually, because they do different things with it over the course of these episodes. Not much to say about him, he's a solid character to me and i wish he had more interactions with the cast outside of Dave and his pining for Jasmine. Who he's talked to like, five times at this point? Again, they probably should've talked stuff out faster than this for me to actually enjoy it. Oh well.

And finally, Sky. She's an interesting case for me? She's fine, mostly. She's the Normal Person™️ of the cast to me, and that means she really struggles to grab me. It's made worse by her main plot being a basic romance plot where the gimmick is that she's a reasonable human being and Dave isn't. And neither are able to have a normal fucking conversation about it either. The mixed signals thing could've been interesting, but this is Fresh TV writters, so of course it didn't end up that way. I assume the episodes without Dave are the ones where her personality shines more? Because so far she's just been really reserved and calm. And said she'd "focus on the competition only" And then. Doesn't. Really. God i wish this season treated it's female characters better :(

OK SO OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Im mixed on alot of the character decisions

god i wished these people talked more

the screentime is not well split among the cast

the romance plots and pacing of the Island plot are the weakest parts of this season

the challenges are fine

Why does Chef have 5 lines total.

Pahkitew Island does NOT deserve the overly negative rep it gets in this Fandom, at least based on the first 8 episodes.

[nuori-henki]

i saw your pinned and noticed you had madness combat included on it,,, i assume that pinning it means youre taking requests? i apologize if that isnt the case and you can ignore this if so!!

but uh uh um if so, i would like to request some. deimos x reader... theyre playfighting because they were alone got bored and were like "okay time to beat the shit out of each other for funsies !! couple bonding activities yayyy" and they end up tumbling wih eachother on the ground. deimos goes easy on reader during most of it but the minute the reader actually starts winning he locks in and defeats their ass. if you wanna you could throw in like suggestive stuff maybe in the form of deimos/reader being flirty if you feel like it but either way i dont really care i just want to wrestle with this goober as a form of affection and then give him a kiss when he inevitably wins because he is a trained professional in terms of killing people and i would rather die than be kinda mean to somebody

apologies if this ask is worded weird or somethin!! ive never submitted an x reader request before i am just so down bad rn

It's totally fine! I am actually taking requests :]

I haven't done any writing in a while so I might be rusty still!

Playfighting (Deimos x Reader)

It was one of those slow days, since the last ambush attack on the agency they've back down a little, meaning that there were no new missions too. At this point Deimos was trying anything to get distracted, hacking random sites, picking on Hank, smoking, anything really. Until you came up with an idea.

- Hey Dei?

- Yeah? - he responded while staring at the ceiling.

- Wanna do some training together? Doc said it might be good for us to stay sharp in case something happens.

Now that was something interesting, he gets to fight and have some fun with you? The guy is already up in a blink of an eye.

- Alright, but try to not get your ass kicked too quickly alright doll? - He responded while reading his stance

...

He almost got dumped into the ground in the first few minutes. While he had already gone on missions with you before he never actually fought you. Your appearance also betrayed how fast you were, quickly dodging his attacks and still landing quite a few good hits on him

- Awn I was expecting for you to be a little better at this DeiDei - You joked

- Who said I'm really trying? I'm just making things a bit easier for you sweetie.

Things kept going for a longer, with some teasing from both sides. He was starting to get tired, but you showed no signs of stopping. "This ain't good..." Deimos though. "If It keeps going like this I'll be on the ground in no time, Sanford I'll probably not shut up about as well". So he kept his guard up. Doing hos best to find a breach to your defenses while still maintaining his.

- Starting to get tired honey?

- From the fighting? Maybe, but definitely not of that pretty face of yours~

This seemed to hit a spot on you, making your face blush intensely and to hesitate a bit, now was his chance! Taking the moment he quickly swiped up your feet and put his whole weight on top of you to make you fall to the ground.

- Still got it! - He exclaimed

- ...

- Di- did I go too far? - Concern slowly overtaking his features. That was, until you started laughing, relaxing at the sight he dropped near you, both staring at the ceiling.

- That was nice! It had been some time since I've had this much fun - you commented

- Same, I was starting to go insane by having nothing else to do

You both stay laying for a few more seconds, until you decide to get up and check with doc if there was anything to get treated.

...

Maybe you both should do this again sometime

[goodnightmoonvale]

Was listening to the song Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) by the Pet Shop Boys and also thinking about how the Corinthian looks an awful lot like Brad Pitt's character in Ocean's Eleven in a nice tan suit, and thinking about how an Ocean's Eleven Dreamling (or perhaps Hob/Dream/Corinthian) AU would go

The problem, of course, is that while Danny Ocean being in prison is a perfect analogue for Dream being Captured, casting Hob as the love interest doesn't work because she doesn't wait, the whole point of the movie is that they're doing the heist to screw over her new lover, and she didn't wait while Danny was in prison.

And Hob's whole thing is that he waits. That he's waited. The Penelope to Dream's Odysseus, constant and faithful and hopeful.

So how would this change an Ocean's Eleven AU? Who is the heist on, and what emotions is it for? The thing that makes everyone wince a little, and understand at once the real reason Dream is trying to pull this crazy heist off?

Option 1: Hob may have waited, but the way in which he waits is not obvious or apparent to Dream, the Corinthian, or the rest of the crew. Perhaps Hob and Dream really did have a big blowout fight about Dream going to prison, about the circumstances of that job. Maybe Hob cut ties from the rest of the crew and "went legit" and started his own casino or something. Reinvented himself with all his cash from the last job. And Dream is just so, so mad, because to him that feels like abandonment, even if it wasn't meant that way, and the heist is on Hob's casino as revenge for not waiting

Option 2: the heist is on Roderick Burgess's casino as revenge for the circumstances that lead to Dream's arrest

Option 3: Maybe Hob isn't the love interest? Like if we're doing OT3 shit. Maybe Calliope or the Corinthian is the love interest that "didn't wait", and Hob is the one that picks Dream up from prison.

Actually honestly I think that works out better, character-wise. In that the Corinthian has left and is now hooking up with Roderick Burgess and Hob and Dream are Rusty Ryan and Danny Ocean, respectively.

Doesn't quite feel exactly right to me, emotionally, though. I think maybe. Hmmm. If I was going to make it work, especially from an OT3 perspective, that Corinthian either made a mistake that went way farther than he thought, or ended up having to go along with it because whatever Desire and Roderick Burgess had planned would have been worse, and it ended up looking a lot like betrayal, and he knows why Hob won't talk to him anymore, and he's been trying to work his way in and double cross Richard Burgess ever since and hasn't quite managed it yet.

That fits almost perfectly, and I think the only reason I can't quite get it settled is that in the movie, Danny Ocean wants Tess back, he's doing the heist to convince her that he's the more savvy man. Whereas in the face of a betrayal like that, Dream would be furious. He wouldn't want the Corinthian back, he'd want him destroyed.

So I guess you have a third option:

Dream as Tess, Hob as Danny Ocean, and the Corinthian as Rusty Ryan. That fits a lot more of the relationship emotional beats, I think, in that I feel Dream would be more likely to take on another lover or "move on" without Hob, and Hob would absolutely be the one to try and convince Dream to come back to him. It doesn't quite fit the Corinthian, but I think you could make it work in that he's feeling betrayed and abandoned by Dream, especially if there's a fight about how "You went Too Far this time, Hob's in Jail now and that was Too Dangerous and I am Through with all of you" and the Corinthian is hurt that Dream's mad he fulfilled his function. So that could work pretty well.

Idk. I guess all these configurations could be interesting.

[zombeebunnie]

Game development Trembling Essence update:

Hello guys and welcome new followers, I am here with another update towards the game's progress! This update will be a bit short because I was gone until recently and I'm still re-adjusting to working on the game again! :]

In my last update post, I talked about looking into one of the endings you could get in Day 3 and I came up with another idea for how it should end. Here's a sneak peek!

It's been a while since I've drawn outdoor CG's so I'm a little rusty right now. I thought this ending would be a long one but this one lasts a few minutes. I like how it turned out since it fits a lot better with the theme I'm trying to go for! I even attempted a little animation for it which came out nicely! Now that it's finished, everything leading up to the part where things start to branch off within the cabin is completed! :]

Onto other things, I checked through a different route and found out where I had left off from last week-ish+ so I'm still fixing glitches/quality of life changes I didn't get the chance to completely adjust there. This also includes the SFX/Music since I finally found out how to make them stack! In even greater news, I came across a time consuming bug that was giving me issues and I finally fixed! >:,]

Sadly, I did hit a rough patch that took up a lot of time. I was having a difficult time trying to come up with one or two CG's for a section of a path you can go through that didn't have anything. It took a while before I finally could come up with something for it but it's still up in the air since it might require some perspective angles and I'm still trying to practice that. :[

I'm hoping by the next update post all of them will be finished! :,]

Anyway, I think that's everything I have to report right now! Thank you for being patient and understanding! I really appreciate the continued support even though my update posts have been very scattered since spooky month. :,]

[megamanrecut]

Since it's been a while since the last fic update (again), here's another short installment of Become the Night 2, which I'm now titling Return to the Night so I can have a separate tag and at least until I think of a better name lol

Return to the Night, Part 3 (Part 1, Part 2, or Ao3)

Elec Man and Turner's apartment was not located in a nice neighborhood. The streetlights outside were dim, and the surrounding streets were empty and dangerous feeling, as though eyes were spying out from the dark, broken windows above.

Turner led Proto up a set of dirty, creaking stairs to a plain door, which he opened with an old key. The lock unlatched with a rusty rasp, revealing a small, dark room.

Proto poked his head inside as Turner clicked on the light, taking in the entire contents with one glance. The apartment itself was very clean, like a secret room within the shabby building, but small—barely more than a studio.

"Two beds?" Proto asked Turner. "Does Elec Man sleep now?"

Shrugging, Turner closed the door behind Proto. "We both do—why? Didn't he always?"

"Not when I knew him."

"Well, he is my prototype—perhaps he was upgraded to be equally as advanced."

Proto took a second glance around. So, Elec Man and Turner were sharing this small space? He briefly imagined sharing a room with Rock, then stifled a rueful smile. Rock and Proto would have killed each other by now. Proto could tell instantly which side of the room belonged to which brother. Turner had the nicer side of the apartment, with a massive wardrobe, standing mirror, rug, and a large bed filled with pillows and a thick duvet. Meanwhile, Elec Man's side was plainly furnished, more like an office than a living space. Elec Man clearly hated acting more human than he had to.

Smiling to himself a little, Proto sat on the edge of Elec Man's twin-sized bed. It had looked like the type of bed that squeaked, but did not, yet that was the most one could say for it, the bed was definitely not more comfortable than it looked. He glanced back at the door. From the way it opened, Turner's side of the room would be obscured, yet Elec Man's bed had a good vantage to shock any would-be intruder.

Turner glared down at Proto. He had re-affixed his superior mobster facade that he had learned from Elec Man. "Well?" he asked Proto in a drawling voice.

"Nice digs," Proto quipped back, standing up and turning around on the spot.

"You're supposed to be looking for clues to find Elec Man," Turner reminded him coldly.

"I am, junior, don't blow a fuse," Proto reassured him airily. His eyes fell upon a small vanity. A large crystal vase packed with fresh white roses sat on top.

Turner noticed Proto's gaze. "From my fans," he explained, his drawl becoming even more superior as he crossed over to the vanity. He pulled one of the roses from the vase and lifted it up to his nose. "You know, because I'm a famous ballet star. Of course, Elec Man says I always keep them too long. He says I get enough roses every night that I don't need to keep the old ones."

"Kiddo, no offense, I'm with Elec Man on this one—those are starting to smell like death."

Turner cast Proto a withering look over his shoulder as he replaced the rose back into the vase. "They do not—not yet, at least."

Just then, something small and silvery flew off the vanity toward them. It gave Proto a small, tut-like beep, then hovered protectively over Turner's shoulder.

Proto blinked, his aviators sliding slightly down his nose. "I don't believe it—is that my valet drone?"

"Your valet drone?" Turner scoffed. "It's my valet drone. You can't have it back, I need it to get ready before my performances. Its name is Winston and it's mine."

"Kid, you can have it, words alone could never convey how much I hated that thing. Besides, my natural style works best for me."

Turner gave Proto a quick once over. "…Perhaps."

'Winston' gave another tut-like beep at Proto, apparently disapproving of his old t-shirt and baggy jeans then hovered off to settle back on the vanity, looking just as haughty as its Syndicate masters.

"Alright, you've had the tour," said Turner, glaring reproachfully at Proto. "You're hardly living up to your reputation as 'Cypher' or the 'Devil of the Underground' or even this 'Break Man' person—whoever that's supposed to be—are you going to help me find Elec Man or not?"

"I am, I am," Proto reassured him as he looked back at Elec Man's space. "Ah, Bingo." Proto settled down at Elec Man's desk chair and booted up a sleek desktop computer.

"What are you doing?" asked Turner with folded arms.

"Looking for clues, remember? Maybe your big bro left something on here that will give us a lead."

"Looking for clues on Elec Man's computer?" Turner scoffed again and rolled his eyes. "I've only tried that like a million times. There's no way to get into Elec Man's computer! He's the best hacker in the Syndicate—maybe the world. He has everything super-encrypted. You can't break in, don't be ridiculous."

"True, I'm not as good at computers as Elec Man, but he taught me some things, like how to get into his files in case of emergency—" replied Proto, as he typed in a few commands, "—And I'm already in."

Turner's brows rose incredulously. "You have his login information?"

"No, but looks like my backend credentials still work."

"Your what?" Annoyed, Turner attempted to shoulder Proto out of the chair. "Let me see—"

Proto pushed him away. "Ah ah ah—if Elec Man didn't give you his login information, he probably doesn't want you snooping around on his desktop."

With flashing eyes, Turner asked frigidly, "Oh, and I suppose it's okay if you snoop through his files?"

Proto shrugged. "Like I said, I have backend credentials, and if they still work—"

"Oh do shut up," Turner replied crossly, pointing his nose toward the ceiling as he spun so his back was turned to Proto, though after a moment, he glanced back, his pale eyes daring to look hopeful as the snideness dropped from his voice. "…Do—do you think we'll find something?"

"Of course we will, junior, and then we'll go find Elec Man," Proto replied cheerfully, though internally he felt tense. And when we do, I'm going to kill that jerk for going missing in the first place.

A few moments of silence passed as Proto scanned the file directory, then Proto frowned as he opened a file with a recent timestamp. He scanned a few lines of text, glanced surreptitiously over the monitor at Turner then away again.

Unfortunately, Turner had been watching Proto like an anxious hawk. "What is it? You've found something, haven't you?"

"Maybe." Proto quickly closed out of the file, then logged out of Elec Man's account. "I have an idea, at least. Elec Man was messing in some pretty serious stuff…" Proto trailed off. He didn't mention that Turner had been part of the plot, that the file had contained key information about their mission orders for the ballet. It appeared Elec had shielded Turner from details.

"Well what are we waiting for?" demanded Turner, his voice rising in panic. "He could be in trouble, or hurt, or—or—"

"Calm down, Elec Man's too stuck up and spiteful to die," said Proto, standing up and striding toward the door. "…All the same, we better hurry."

Continued in Part 4

[startseeingstars]

Collision Path - Mike 5lbs of Pressure

CH23 Maddi’s POV 🎶 Goddess - PVRIS 🎶

TW - drugs/alcohol, sexual themes

“Over here, baby girl.” Shaun’s voice called out to me and I smiled, relieved I’d found the right place. Mike had walked me here, but we had said goodbye out the front before I took the elevator to the top floor. The building was nice. It was modern, stylish and spacious - in other words, expensive.

“Hey, you.” I greeted Shaun with a hug. He kept his arm around me as we stepped inside the luxurious penthouse. He noticed me taking in the layout and beautiful contemporary art hanging on the walls. The open space living room homed two large white leather couches - between them sat a luxurious throne. As my eyes landed on it, Shaun chuckled.

“Classy, huh?” He cocked his eyebrow and I smirked.

“Is this your friend's place?” I asked. He shook his head.

“It’s mine.”

“No way!” My jaw dropped and I gawked at him, incredulously.

He grinned, hands on his hips as he glanced around, clearly proud.

“How much is ER paying you? Can we swap roles for a night?” I joked and placed my handbag on the kitchen counter.

“Look, I’d give the pole a red hot go but I don’t know how the clientele would feel about that arrangement.” He chuckled and winked at me.

“My Dad is some big hot shot lawyer,” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ahh… that explains a lot.” I teased and he took a hand to the heart, wincing playfully.

“Ouch! Why you gotta kick me, baby girl?” He took my hand and showed me around the place. It was spotless, chic and looked straight out of a catalogue.

The leather couch squeaked beneath me slightly and I glanced at the time, realising no one else had arrived yet.

“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” I asked, crossing my legs and sitting back into the cushions.

“Man of the hour, Zack and the crew should arrive shortly. You’ll get shirtless and be our beer angel for the night.” He clapped his hands together.

“Am I the only server?” I asked and he nodded.

I felt my nerves spike a little. I had just assumed there would be other women here.

“There’s only around 10 of us.” I think he thought that fact would comfort me but it had the opposite effect.

“Do you mind if I have a drink? I uh, I’m just a little rusty. It’s been a couple of weeks.” I reminded him and he nodded.

“Of course, Angel. Help yourself to anything. I want you to be comfortable.” He smiled sweetly and I headed to the kitchen, pouring us both a neat whiskey from an open bottle. We clinked glasses and I downed mine, welcoming the comforting warmth as it enveloped my whole chest.

Hours had passed and I was feeling amazing - better than I ever had while working. It wasn’t too late yet, but it had been such a great night so far.

Naturally, the guys were all flirts, but of course they were - they were Shaun’s friends, though they all seemed harmless. I didn’t even mind, or find it draining like I usually did. The couple weeks off must’ve really refreshed me.

My heart was still beating a little fast, but I put it down to the excitement. I sauntered over confidently to the guys and placed a tray of empty shot glasses on the table, picking up the whiskey as the loud music played through the surround sound speakers. The aircon was blasting, but I couldn’t feel the cold, despite my nips being hard as diamonds. I was sure the boys didn’t mind, though.

“Who’s ready for shots?!” They met my enthusiasm with cheers and I walked over to the throne where Zack, the groom-to-be reigned his rowdy loyal subjects.

“Open up, King.” I grinned and he tilted his head back as I poured into his mouth. As I turned back to the others, I noticed some had their phones out recording.

The cameras made me a little uneasy, but I figured since it was a private event, it was to be expected.

I ignored the shot glasses and decided to free-pour the liquor into their mouths for fun. As I arrived at Shaun last, his hands rested lightly on my waist, grazing my lace thong. I laughed as his eyes met mine and pulled away before taking another shot myself.

Residue trickled down my chin and chest as they whistled. I bowed playfully before returning to the kitchen. Footsteps followed me and I turned, seeing Shaun.

He hugged me closer to him and we laughed.

“How’s my favourite girl feeling?” He asked, staring into my eyes.

“Fucking great.” I confessed quietly.

“I should hope so. There’s a shit ton of E in that whiskey.” He laughed but my face fell as I looked at him, puzzled.

“W-what?” His eyebrows raised in surprise. “You didn’t know the whiskey had Ecstasy in it?” He laughed a little, but carefully watched for my reaction.

I shook my head.

“No, asshole. That would have been useful information before I poured the first glass - not on my sixth drink.” No wonder my heart was racing and I felt so good - I was fucking high. My voice was a little panicked, but Shaun placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ll look out for you - it’ll be fun. Just enjoy the ride.” I took a deep breath and nodded. I mean - I did feel amazing. I may as well enjoy it. I decided I’d hold off beating myself up about it until tomorrow.

Cash flew at me as I straddled Zack. I leaned back, viewing the guys upside down for a moment as Zack’s hands held my waist. He had blushed bright red when Shaun had suggested the lap dance. I was up for the task as soon I saw the guys pull out wads of cash, ready to have fun.

The money had made me forget to be mad at Shaun - this was clearly the intention of the night. I should have known better, but the idea of saving up for Mike and I to get out of this city made my stomach bundle up in excitement. I eagerly performed for them, feeling comfortable with the group as I'd been with them for hours now. Having a friend like Shaun there helped ease the anxiety, too.

They were posting videos and photos of the shenanigans on their socials. Something about the cameras was making it a little more exciting to me - it felt risky, but I was enjoying the thrill. I made a mental note to see if Mike was up for that kind of thing.

As the song ended, the guys laughed and lit up some joints. The smell of weed filled the room as I scooped up the crisp notes, stumbling into the kitchen to stash them in the tip bag I kept hidden.

Suddenly, hands were around my waist and a phone was in front of me. I saw Shaun and myself on the screen through his front facing camera and laughed, sticking my tongue out. His lips pressed on my neck for a moment and I turned to him, confused.

“What was that?” I laughed a little, uncomfortable by the kiss.

“Just a bit of fun.” He slurred, leaning in again. I stepped back, holding out my hands to his chest.

“Dude, I-“ Before I could turn him down, he shook his head and stepped back.

“Mike - right?” He rolled his eyes and I laughed, but nodded.

“Yahtzee.”

“He locked you down yet?” He eyed me, taking another swig of his half empty glass.

“May as well have.” I replied, wiping down the counter to avoid his eyes.

“So, no…” Shaun stepped closer again and placed one hand on the small of my back. Before this moment, I would have found the gesture friendly - but I was coming to realise what I viewed as friendship and banter, he considered flirting.

I swallowed and turned to him, shaking in part because of the high, but also because I was uncomfortable with confrontation.

“Please don’t do this, Shaun.” I whispered and he sighed, but stepped back.

“Sorry, Mads. I don’t know what got into me.” He apologised calmly but it felt insincere, like it held no gravity.

“Probably the booze, right?” I forced a smile and glanced at the time. It was coming up to 3am and he noticed me checking the clock.

“Go on, then. Clock out. Shifts over.” He rambled and rolled his eyes drunkenly.

I didn’t object - I hurried through goodbyes to the others and collected my stuff before wandering downstairs, eager to remove myself from the awkward tension.

The outside air was freezing and I hugged my coat around me closer. As I walked out, blurry eyed, too aware of the way my heart was beating - I saw Mike.

He was leaning against the wall, cigarette in his hand as he looked at his phone. I felt relieved when I saw him. I was exhausted, but so excited to be with him again - be comfortable and show him how much money I’d just made for us.

“Hey, Stalker!” I exclaimed happily, startling him as I practically skipped over. As I got closer, I realised he didn’t return the same energy. Tossing his cigarette to the ground and looking at me, his eyes were bloodshot and red - I’d never seen them so cold before.

“Really? That’s how you’re gonna play me after what you just finished doing up there?” His voice was as harsh as his gaze and I almost flinched away from him.

“W-what are you-“

He shoved his phone in my face and I watched him flick over several Instagram stories of myself giving Zack the lap dance, then finally a photo of Shaun and I where he was kissing my neck. I cringed at that one, shaking my head.

“It’s not like that,” I tried to assure him, stepping closer, but he moved away, shoving the phone in his pocket.

“Bullshit. You’re just another fucking whore. I should’ve known. God damn, I should have listened to Leff. Never thought I’d fucking say that.” He continued, cursing as I tried to calm him down between words - but it was no use. He couldn’t hear me over his anger.

[theendwhereibegin]

Here goes nothing. Been a bit rusty as I haven't written in a while now, let alone, any fanfiction. I guess it's been a while since I have last felt this connection to an actor.

Please bare with me. This is my first story in the realm of Pedro Pascal fan fiction, so please be kind to me, and tell me if it really sucks.

So here it is, a bit of fluff with Pedro Pascal. * i cringed even typing that*

Enjoy!

Universally meant, Earthly bound

If you were to think that there is a force in the Universe that dictates how a select few, the chosen ones, the lucky ones, met, would you believe it?

story line

inner monologue

I was rushing through the city, once again. Why? Mainly because my only workout consists of hitting the snooze button a little too much in the mornings.

Running towards work, I realized that I had gone out of the house wearing my slippers. I didn't realize that on my own though, a 6 year old boy loudly told his mom while we were waiting to cross the street.

“Look mommy, she has Baby Yoda slippers on her feet. That is so cool. I want to be like her when I grow up”

Upon hearing that I turned my attention towards the pair, as his mom shot me a sympathetic look, a look that pretty much made me understand that she has most probably done it herself one too many times. The child was beaming towards me with a cute boyish smile and all my embarrassment melted away.

Yes, you read that right. I was now making my way to work while wearing Baby Yoda slippers, too sleepy to care about the looks I was getting from the random people passing me.

Let`s pause the story here for a bit. Now that we set the scene, I might as well tell you a bit about myself. I am in my early 30s, and some would argue I am at that age when I kind of need to be put together and not leave my house wearing slippers instead of proper shoes. I would argue that age is just a silly number, and it doesn`t dictate how you are supposed to live your life. I enjoy pretty much anything Netflix has to offer, long awkward walks in the park as I don`t really do socializing, and charity shops where I always seem to find a little treasure in the form of old and rare books. My name isn`t important at this point in time, but my job, well my job is the key element for this story.

...right I forgot to tell you the plot. Let`s just say that this is the story of how I managed to meet one of the biggest stars on this planet, probably Galaxy, while wearing house slippers, a coffee soaked white t-shirt and sporting a very Harry Potter like scratch on my right cheek. Now, shall we get back to our story? Where was I? Right! Going to work.

Going through the busy streets I stopped at a Starbucks to grab myself a coffee and something to eat before, what was supposed to be, a very long day at work. That`s where I soaked my t-shirt and got a pretty nasty cut on my face. How, you may ask yourself? That`s easy when your middle name is Clumsy.

After I got my coffee and sandwich, I turned around to be met by a silhouette as hard as a wall, which caused me to lose my balance and trip over a small dog, with the hot dark liquid flying in the air and landing on my t-shirt. While all that was happening, like it wasn`t enough, I fell face first in a wooden like fork, which managed to cause quite a cut. This sounds crazy, I know, but if something goes wrong for me, it`s going to be all at once.

“Are you okay?” asked the silhouette.

While trying to collect myself from the ground while the whole shop was looking at me I mumbled an embarrassed “Sure” and ran as fast as I could towards the exit. At least my slippers made it out alive from the whole debacle.

Walking into work I put my bag on my desk and sulked in my seat. Today couldn`t of started worse, and I had to face the music at work as well as my boss has told me weeks ago that I have an important photo shoot today and that I should be prepared and full of energy.

Have you guessed my job yet? I bet you did...

While waiting for the main character of the photo shoot to appear, I tried to finish some of the projects I started already and never gotten around to finishing.

“Are you ready for today?” asked my coworker, Alexis.

Alexis was that giddy girl that every office has. Keen on being liked by everyone and befriend everyone, she managed to sneak herself under my skin, and I took her under my wing. Being young, I never had the support she has. I was always thrown into deep waters without much to go on, and being a mentor for Alexis meant the world to me.

“Of course I am ready A. I am also nervous as I never had to deal with something like this before. I usually know all of the models, and now Graham made it clear that it`s a new person and that it`s important for the photo shoot to go great. You know I don`t know how to socialize.” I said while I put my head in my hands, shrugging slightly.

I continued, “On top of that I am wearing Baby Yoda slippers, my shirt is soaked and stained and I have this on my cheek”, while pointing at myself.

“How did you even manage? Wait, I retract my question. It`s you. Of course, something like this would happen. Here, let me help you clean your face a bit, at least” she said while taking my hand and guiding me to the bathroom. Wrong move on her part as at the same time my boss screamed my name while trying to get my attention towards our client for today.

Turning my head I could have sworn I saw Pedro Pascal looking at me wide eyed. I shook it off and looked again. That is definitely Pedro Pascal and I am definitely looking like a downright mess right now.

“One moment” I screamed back while rushing Alexis towards the bathroom.

The moment the door closed, I started hyperventilating and pacing at an alarming rate, trying to swallow the node I felt building up in my throat.

“This cannot be happening to me. This is too much. How am I supposed to go out there and shake his hand while looking like this? He`s seen me in this state. That`s it. I am cancelling today. I am going to call from here and tell Graham that I am suddenly sick and I can not go through and that we need to reschedule. What am I even saying? You don`t reschedule Pedro Pascal. He reschedules you, not the other way around.”

“You really need to breathe. In and out. You can`t call in sick. You are already at work, smarty pants. Plus, isn`t this the guy you`ve been gushing on since you`ve seen `The Last of Us`?” Alexis pointed out while trying to clean my cheek and get me to calm down. I am amazed at the fact that she stopped me from pacing further.

“You`ll go out there with a smile on your face. You will do your job and he will love being in your company because you are an amazing woman and photographer. You hear me?” she started saying louder than before.

“I hear you” I said while looking in the mirror.

Newsflash. I didn`t hear her. I heard words, but to be honest, I zone out when people try to pep talk me. She is a lovely friend, but at the same time, I know I won`t be able to survive today. I can try, though. Should I even worry? It`s not like he`s going to care how I present myself. He just needs photos, and that`s that.

“I am pretty sure I lost you there for a bit, so please say it to me : I hear you, and I will slay the hell out of this photo shoot because I can.” she read me like an open book.

“I hear you, and I will slay the hell out of this photo shoot because I can. All better now?” I asked while making my way out of the bathroom. Yet another mistake as Pedro was exiting the men’s bathroom and heard everything I just said.

“Are you for real?” I said in an annoyed tone while Alexis was hot on my heels giggling like a high-school girl. Pedro was visibly amused at what was unfolding in front of him.

“I am for real. Last time, I checked anyway. I am Pedro. Nice to meet you” he said while smiling.

“This keeps getting more embarrassing. I am your photographer for the day. My name is Olivia.” I said while extending my hand to him. “Sorry for my apparel for the day, but I`ve had a rough start. I swear I am better at my job than I am at, well, living. Should we get started?” I asked quickly not to leave him too much time to respond anything else but yes.

“Yes. After you”

This was a weird setting. Me and him walking the long hallway to the photo studio. It felt like it took even longer than it normally does. I was trying to distract myself until he opened his mouth again.

“Nice slippers. Good to see they escaped unharmed from your Starbucks episode” he said while smirking. I could feel the smirk in his voice as he talked. Wait, how did he know about Starbucks? I mean, the stain looks like coffee, so you don`t have to be a genius to know that I probably tripped, and it spilt on me, but to represent it as an episode...

“Excuse me? Starbucks episode?” I asked, stunned.

“Well, I would start by saying sorry for standing behind you in the queue. I mean, you could have turned a bit slower, but I couldn`t help myself but move closer to you while you were turning because I saw your slippers, and I was curious.” he said while stopping .

“I am truly sorry Olivia. I really am.” he continued.

Of course! My luck! The stranger that I tripped over happens to be Pedro Pascal. Seriously, Universe? Seriously”

“I can`t with today. That`s it. I am cancelling today. Today never happened.” I said in a frustrated manner, causing his concern.

“I mean, I don`t think you can do that as most of it already happened, but you can try, I guess?” he said while scratching the back of his head while I was looking at him like a lost puppy seeing its favourite toy after a long time. His whole demeanour made me feel at ease. All he had to do was smile, and I was automatically in a better mood.

“I suppose I can`t. As I mentioned before, I am sorry for my apparel. I didn`t plan to do this. I didn`t even know who the client was until you walked in. I just hit the snooze button too many times. Ended up speed dressing and running through the city. By the time I was made aware of the fact that I am wearing my Baby Yoda slippers by a 6 year old, nonetheless, it was too late to go back and change. Here I am, in all my nerdy glory. Unfortunately, your photographer is a nerdy, clumsy, and awkward woman who is supposed to have her shit together cause she`s over 30 and has no desire to act her age.”

I regretted it the moment all of this left my mouth and my hands flew towards it in horror. He was in the same position, with the same boyish grin plastered on his face, looking at me like I wasn`t just ranting my frustrations to a man I just met.

"For all it`s worth, I think you are trying your hardest, and you should cut yourself some slack. Be your nerdy, clumsy, awkward self because that`s who you are meant to be. You are trying to change something that will never change, your essence. It`s who you are, Olivia, and if you ask me, I`d say so far my first impression of you is a very good one” he said reassuringly.

I took a deep breath and turned around while whispering a shy “Thank you!”, not knowing that he understood how much his words meant to me, and that he was relieved that he managed to say it without upsetting me in the process. Little did I know that the Universe has been working hard for years to make this encounter happen.

[steelycunt]

for the ask thingy: 13 <33

hi!! started this sooo many different ways but i actually really like this one...set after s' brother's death xx do i actually know when that happens in canon no did i bother to check also no the less i know the better xx

There’s just something about reading it in the newspaper. That’s the thing that bothers him for days afterwards: while he’s brushing his teeth, while he’s taking the bins out, while they eat cartons of day-old takeaway for dinner, he’s finished, he’s dead, he’s dead, and he only heard about it from a few lines in a fucking newspaper.

And, true, it’s been a long few years since he’s thought of him as his brother (and they both know—knew? knew—whose fault that was, even if they never managed to know the same thing at the same time), it’s just—Christ. Their bedrooms were next door to each other. They wore each other’s eyes and hands and noses.

He’s been trying not to look in the mirror, recently. He wants to ask when his face is going to stop feeling like it’s somebody else’s, but he doesn’t think anybody would have an answer for him.

It’s no matter, he tells himself. As in—when was the last time Regulus mattered? As in—he has been so far away from Sirius, and for so long now, that really when you think about it, Sirius has been practising for this all along. So really when you think about it, he’s done this before. The whole dead brother thing. Oh, yes. He’s doing just fine.

“I know there are things you won’t talk to me about,” Remus is saying, quietly, two days later. They have a bedroom window that only opens halfway. Beyond it are more blocks of flats like theirs, and more windows like theirs. Sirius is leaning out of it and staring at nothing, thinking about nothing, on his third cigarette just to keep his hands busy—these hands that aren’t his—when Remus sits down next to him.

“You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. I’m hardly—” he scoffs, rubs his thumb against his jaw, “hardly the person to hand out lectures about repressing your feelings, I know. But, you know…you don’t have to pretend to be fine. Even…even with the way things ended up between you two, no one expects you to be fine. He was your brother.”

“I’m not pretending.” Sirius taps his cigarette into the ashtray balanced on his knee. “What? I’m really not, Remus. It’s not as if he turned out to be much of a brother, is it? Neither of us did. So it’s whatever. Just wasn’t expecting it, s’all.”

There’s a small, overgrown communal garden that backs on to their building, and Sirius looks down into it now. A child’s tricycle tipped on its side, buried by weeds. A rusty patio chair. This view from the window, where he lives with Remus—Remus, who matters, Remus, who he adores and who adores him (that’s why he’s sitting here now, after all). His slow, sweet voice. His bony ankles.

Sirius wouldn’t find out about Remus from a newspaper, that’s for sure. They would tell him personally. Maybe even first, before they tell his dad. Because they all know what Remus is to him; it’s easy and obvious, there are no questions, no blame. Sirius’ Remus. Remus’ Sirius.

It satisfies him greatly.

“I’m just worried about you,” says Remus (his bottom lip, his bitten nails). “I’m sorry. I’m trying to find out what it is I can do for you and—well, I get it now. How I must frustrate you. I wish you’d tell me what you need.”

So: “Kiss me,” Sirius replies.

Remus blinks. Little twitch of his eyebrows. Lovely boy. “What?”

“Kiss me,” he repeats, turning away from the window, facing him properly. Crushing his cigarette into a crumble of grey silt (what will they do with his body? Will there be anyone at the funeral who ever cared for him?). Whatever it is that Sirius needs—he feels it now, here.

“What I want is for you to kiss me.” He leans in. One hand on the back of Remus’ neck, one curling into his t-shirt. “Yeah? Just—I’m alright, Moony, I really am. I don’t want—I just want you, right now. Come on.”

He still looks so conflicted, though, and it’s starting to get on Sirius’ nerves a little. (You’re the one who asked me what I need!) “Are you sure that you’re—” Remus starts to say, but Sirius is on him before he can finish, pressing their mouths together and closing his eyes, emptying his head, tugging Remus into him because he can, because he’s allowed to.

“Again. Kiss me again, Moony,” he murmurs against Remus’ cheek, when they break away. This time, Remus does as he’s told. The whole world can fit onto a windowsill. This is a love Sirius hasn’t failed at yet.

[highliqhts]

🎬  just  announced,  rowan delaney has  been  cast  as rikki chadwick  in  the  upcoming  h2o: just add water  reboot.  the  twenty3  year  old  is  trending  as  people  are  debating  if  the  scouring the local thrift stores for the cutest knitted tops, giving their manager serious heart palpitations by going on instagram live rants about how big corporations are ruining the planet at 2am, being weirdly good at tiktok dance challenges, trying to cook for people despite being terrible at it and being completely unable to keep a phone screen protected without cracks   that  they  are  known  for  is  enough  to  make  them  as  good  as  original.  a  quick  google  search  shows  that  their  fans  call  them  free-spirited,  but  internet  trolls  think  they’re  more  brash.  i  guess  their  newest  interview  for  variety  where  they  talk  about  how they almost had an accident trying to swim with a mermaid’s tail as a child  will  let  people  to  know  them  better. 

hii, besties !! <33 i am daisy and genuinely so excited to be here ?? fair warning that it's been ... probably about a year since i last tumblr group rped, so i might be a bit rusty but this one brought me back from my retirement. this is rowan, who is a brand new muse of mine aka they're definitely still a work in progress but i'd absolutely love to plot with everyone and figure out all the missing pieces !! anyway, hope u enjoy, mwuah !

basics.

name:  rowan delaney.

nicknames:  ro.

gender:  demi woman

pronouns:  she/they.

age:  23.

date of birth:  january 23rd 2001.

astrological sign:  aquarius.

place of birth: brisbane, australia.

nationality: australian.

ethnicity: mauritian, italian.

occupation:  actress.

sexual & romantic orientation:  pansexual, panromantic.

character.

positive traits:  free-spirited, accepting, spontaneous, passionate, independent, loyal.

negative traits:  brash, aloof, stubborn, fickle.

likes:  the beach, having conversations about things that actually matter, finding that piece while thrifting, traveling, chai latte, pistacchios, surfing.

dislikes:  small talk, people who don't care about the environment / animals, authority figures, rules that don't make sense to her, fake niceties.

biography.

if there ever were two people who absolutely should be parents it's rowan's moms. their lovestory is one for the ages, as they had met in the australian wilderness, ciara an italian backpacking tourist and lauren the australian who saved her from some kind of poisonous snake ( or if you believe lauren a totally non-threatening, non-poisonous snake but she would only contest it if ciara isn't around ). what followed is neatly documented in the photo albums rowan grew up looking through, their mothers on their travels through the entire country, lauren having joined ciara for ' protection purposes '. one thing led to another and the two of them fell in love, something that was completely unthinkable, both with the distance and with ciara’s very catholic and conservative family back in italy. there were simply too many obstacles, it couldn’t work out, right ? with heavy hearts they said goodbye after almost an entire year spent constantly by each other’s sides. that is until, due to a sudden storm, ciara’s flight didn’t take off, leading them to have yet another conversation … after all, wasn’t this fate telling them not to part ? in the end ciara never left australia to go back to living in italy, instead taking the leap and staying in australia with the woman she excitedly calls the ‘ love of her life ‘ even to this day. 

rowan was the last puzzle piece to their perfect little family, in addition to the two dogs, one cat and the stray duck all living with them as well. nobody really knows how the duck ended up there. they do know how rowan did though, after years of careful consideration she was about the most wished for child you could possibly imagine. and so she grew up, surrounded by love and support. that being said, for a while it wasn’t easy for rowan to cope with the harsher realities of life outside their little house. while at the delaney’s family home it was alright to express yourself and your feelings however you wanted, the outside world was less accepting of that. therefore school wasn't easy for her during the first years. rowan was a bit of an outsider during those years, spending most of their free time at home with the pets and their mothers. it wasn’t until she grew up some more that she found friends who would accept her as she was. 

once those years came around however, her life was better than ever before. alongside their friends they spent a lot of time exploring the beaches and city around them. their mothers, being the free-spirited and encouraging women they were, mostly encouraged them in this, paying for their first surfing lessons right alongside the first acting classes. initially they had only signed up for those because a friend of theirs had. surprisingly enough though, rowan soon figured out that acting was something they were not only rather good at but also loved to do. though ciara would later say she never thought it to be all that surprising, with how much rowan had always loved listening to and sharing stories. especially during those younger, more lonely days, where it was mostly books keeping her company. the last years of high school were spent acting in local theater productions, having bonfires at the beach and surfing with their friends. 

life was good for rowan during those times as she started considering what to do after school. it was at the beginning of her last year in high school when she saw an open audition for neighbors and decided to simply shoot her shot. never in a million years did they think this would actually lead them anywhere,that was until they got callback after callback, eventually sitting down to do chemistry reads. they were seventeen, a month into their final year when they got the official offer. sitting down with their parents, they debated. how would she finish school, when filming would take place in melbourne ?  was it even feasible ? could she move there on her own ? in the end they found a solution that had her living with a friend of the family in melbourne during filming, studying with a tutor when she was there and still attending school whenever she was in brisbane. it was a stressful year and it’s safe to say their final grades were not much to be proud of but they did it, they graduated. afterwards she was lucky enough for her minor role to stay permanent, gaining some importance in the show’s plotline, leading to her being able to continue to stay on the crew and work in melbourne. 

they kept their very first television role on neigbors for about 3-4 years, before finally saying their goodbye to the australian soap. due to the relative prominence of the show in australian television, they had earned a decent level of exposure through it. in australia, this would have definitely lent itself to quickly gaining further job opportunities and she definitely debated this with her moms for quite some time. in the end it was them that pushed her to aim higher, to try her luck in the us and move to los angeles at 21. the move was probably the hardest thing ro has done to this day, leaving was tearful not only because they’d miss their family but also because they’d miss their home and they were fully aware they might just be leaving for nothing. for the past two years ro has mostly been getting very small appearances for an episode or three in multiple tv projects ( imagine patient on grey’s or a lost plotline in riverdale or smth, i’ll have to figure the exact projects out ). only recently did she get her first real breakthrough when she was cast as rikki in the reboot of h20: just add water, an australian classic ! they’re about to start filming season 1 and it’s safe to say that ro couldn’t be more excited, having been an avid viewer of the show as a kid.

tl;dr: basically she's born to two very loving lesbians whom i gave an unneccessarily sweet backstory. she grew up in australia, loves the oceans and animals and always had the loving support of her family. she started acting at 17 and moved to the us to further follow that career at 21. h2o is her first lead role.

headcanons.

rowan sometimes refers to the pets that were in the house while they grew up as if they were their siblings, which can be confusing to some people 

ro’s style is very much sort of boho inspired, she loves cute knitted pieces and wide flowy pants and dresses or jeans shorts as well as sporting the most pieced together yet somehow strangely working assortment of jewelry 

she has a decently active social media presence, which is mostly used for an unpredictable mixture of silly on set tiktok challenges or passionate calls for action, mostly for environmental protection 

they’re very much a beach and oceans enthusiast and they WILL shut you down for leaving any kind of trash on the beach but also for supporting environmentally damaging companies 

ro has a decent amount of houseplants at home and tries to keep them alive so desperately ?  but honestly, they’re really not a natural at it. 

she loves doing her nails herself, including cute and intricate nail designs 

when they were 19 and at a party they got a tiny tattoo of an octopus done on the left side of her hip