#I always hate hearing my voice in recordings but my friends begged me to do covers on tiktok

[lewisvinga]

ultraviolence | carlos sainz x fem! reader

summary; carlos and y/n always find themselves going back to the same toxic relationship. no matter how hard they try, it just always felt like a kiss.

warnings; toxic relationships, yelling/arguing

notes; i know carlos would probs never act like this but it’s for the plot guys 😞

word count; 700

taglist; @namgification

‘born to die’ series masterlist.

f1 masterlist !

“Get the fuck out of here. I don’t want to see you. Vete! [go]”

“Fine! I don’t ever wanna see your bitch ass ever again!”

Y/n’s best friend sighs as Y/n tells her about her last argument with Carlos from the week before. One week being broken up was a record for them. They never lasted more than 4 days. “But that was the end of us. Actually. I’m done with him.” Y/n quickly says after noticing her friends sigh

“Y/n, all it takes is for him to show up at your doorstep with a designer bag or fancy jewelry in hand, begging for your forgiveness.”

“I know but this time I won’t fall for it!”

Just a couple hours after Y/n’s best friend left, someone suddenly knocked on her door. Y/n quickly ran over to the door, thinking it was the Uber Eats delivery driver but her smile fell once she opened her door. “What are you doing here?”

“Mi amor,�� Carlos says in a desperate tone with a Van Cleef & Arpels in hand and a large bouquet of red roses in the other. Y/n feels her heart stop for a split second. Her heart took over as she stepped to the side, leaving room for him to enter. "Perdóname, mi amor. [forgive me, my love] I can't live without you. Please."

"Carlos..." Y/n mumbles as he takes a step closer to her. "I thought we were over. For good.'

"I can't live without you, mi amor. I'm sorry, I'll change."

She lets out a deep sigh, clearly conflicted about whether she should forgive him or not. She could hear her friend in the back of her mind and was quick to ignore her mind to instead respond with what her heart yearned for. "Fine. I forgive you."

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"You're crazy! I can't stand you." Y/n huffs, slamming the door to his Ferrari shut. Just a few weeks later, they were out clubbing with a few of the other drivers. Carlos had 2 girls all over him and was seemingly flirting with them. However, Y/n was dancing too close to Lando for Carlos' liking, especially since her dress was too short.

Carlos saw her with Lando and dragged her out of the club by her wrist, clearly upset. "You were grinding on him? I could tell you were making him hard!" The Spaniard groans in frustration, unlocking the door to his place.

"You were flirting with other girls! Why can’t I have fun either?”

“Because you’re mine. I don’t want to see you with other guys.”

“But I have to see you openly flirt with other girls?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“No!” Y/n exclaims, her voice becoming louder. She only danced with Lando to get back at Carlos. She didn’t even like the Brit in that way. She just hated seeing that stupid smile the Spaniard had when flirting with girls in skimpy outfits. “I’m sick of you. Acting like it’s fine if girls grind all over you too but God forbid I dance with a friend-“

“Shut the fuck up, Y/n.”

“Shut the fuck up, y/n!” She mimicked in a high-pitched voice. Her face morphed into disgust, heading off into their shared room. “Grow some balls, own up to yourself, then you shut the fuck up!”

“Come back here, Y/n.”

“Fuck off!”

“Quit acting like a bitch!”

Both of their voices were quickly getting louder and louder until they were yelling. They paid no mind to their poor neighbors who would have to hear their screaming matches for hours once again. How could one live like that? Consistently arguing with your partner for hours and hours.

The toxicity was addicting to the both of them. Carlos was like a drug for Y/n. She couldn’t get enough. Even if they always got into arguments over stupid things or doing things to purposely mess with the others just to end in a screaming match, she was addicted.

Carlos loved the screaming matches. He loved having someone that matches his fierceness. He couldn’t help but love the way she’s always screaming at him, in a good and a bad way. Her rage was something beautiful to him. He loves how all it takes is a gift and flowers for her to be back.

For y/n, his toxicity felt like a kiss. With his ultraviolence, the possessive and toxic glint in his brown eyes, it was enough to capture her. She just wanted all of his ultraviolence.

[axelsagewrites]

Roy Kent*Charitiy

Pairing: Roy Kent x reader

Word count: 1535

Warnings: Rupert existing and Roy being Roy

Masterlist here

Ever since last year when Rupert crashed annual charity ball and donated a butt load of money to steal her thunder, she was determined to make this year's even better. It was odd to you that someone donating so much to a good cause was grounds for revenge but then again, you'd met Rupert. He really was the worst. 

She'd gone all out this year, making sure she lined up at least 3 famous performers that equally hated Rupert and inviting everyone who was anyone. You were automatically on the list as her assistant but and also as Roy's plus one. It was at last year’s ball that Roy ended up walking you home from and kissing you in your doorway. Cut to this year and you were now in a semi-secret committed relationship with Richmond’s newest coach. You had both decided not to share to the press and after much convincing Roy let you tell Rebecca and the team.

One of the nights biggest earners was of course the charity auction. Roy had refused at least 19 times to do it but eventually with enough eyelash batting and promises of favours you'd convinced him to sign up. All the boys had signed up, even Will was forced to sign up.

To make things even more bizarre Rebecca herself was being auctioned. Though you as her assistant had also hired someone to come bid on her so she'd never have to have the date but still she was technically on the roster. What you hadn't expected was for her to turn to you with puppy dog eyes. 

"We need more women on the list. Cmon, you know how it is. Think of the children,"

Roy was more outrage you had said yes than the fact he had been convinced to do it as well. You however were sure that it would be fine. After all people were there to bet on the footballers to play a game with their kid or show off to their friends or whatever other questionable activities they had planned. Not some assistant. 

What you hadn't accounted for was that you were no longer just an assistant. Not only did you often appear in pictures with the team, but rumours floated around that you were dating at least one if not multiple of the boys. Between always being around famous footballers or the fact Keeley Jones was your best friend you’d forgotten people actually knew who you were now.

The night was fine to begin and halfway through the auction Rebecca had already hit the same record as last year but that was not going to stop her. Danni had gone for £5000, Sam for £6000, Keeley for £10,000. Yes, even Keeley had donated one of her Friday nights to Rebecca's cause.

Roy had practically begged you that if the old lady who won him last year was going to win that you steal the win and he'd give you the money so sure as fate you had just won a night with your boyfriend for £8000. This was only going to fuel the fires in the tabloids, but it was worth saving Roy another painful night with a toothless granny.

"Up next we have my dear, dear friend who many of you will recognise as the teams shadow. Come on up"(y/n)," Rebecca said, clapping as you walked up with an awkward smile.

" Can we start the bidding at £500?" You thought this would be over and done with in less than a couple minutes.

"Five thousand pounds," Ruperts voice came booming from the back of the room followed by the sound of Roy’s chair scrapping against the floor as he stood up, "Forgive me for being so late my dear Rebecca. A family emergency kept me away, but I couldn't miss this for the world," he said gesturing to the crowd who gave him a round of applause he didn’t deserve, “After all it is for the children,”

For once Rebecca stammered for words before finally stuttering out "Yes well thank you Rupert. Do I hear six?"

"Ten thousand," Roy boomed across the room. Small gasps left several tables as you stood, eyes bulging out at the moment happening. You’d got to witness the bidding war that went for Jamie last year with Keeley spending twenty-five grand, but you knew that both Rupert and Roy were far more stubborn. this could go for a while.

"This isn't how auctions exactly work boys-" Rebecca tried to cut in, knowing how stubborn Rupert was and how violent Roy could get, but to no avail. she looked at you with a sympathetic glance as the carnage began.

"fifteen thousand," Rupert said, walking to stand by Roy's table, his wife a few paces behind standing awkwardly. 

"twenty,"

"thirty,"

"thirty-five-" you heard Jamie's voice pipe up followed by a loud growl from Roy who was glaring daggers in the previously laughing boy, "withdrawn!" Jamie yelped as he shuffled his chair towards Keeley. you almost felt bad for Jamie as you tried not to laugh.

"forty-five," Roy yelled before turning to Rupert, whispering something in his ear as he went to say fifty.

You could practically see Ruperts sweat dripping down his forehead as Roy pulled away, a satisfied smirk on his face, "Hard to beat that," Rupert smiled as he carefully stepped away from Roy, slowly moving back to his wife, “I withdraw,” Rupert said before pulling his wife to go join some random table filled with old white men.

"Forty-five going once, twice," Rebecca said as she scrambled to grab her gavel, "sold to Mr Kent. What a generous donation, everyone let's give him a round of applause," Rebecca said as she started the claps as everyone followed suit to try mask the awkward tension. “Always such a generous soul,”

You gave Rebecca a sorry smile as you walked back down to Roy, wondering how you’d explain this to the tabloids, but Roy had other plans. As you walked up to him, ready to quietly thank him, Roy stepped forward, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into his chest. The kiss was brief, but it knocked the wind out your lungs and left you wishing you had a private room as whoops and hollers came from the room around. You pulled back, breathless and grinning like an idiot. 

"Just to be clear that isn't included in the final sale," Rebecca said from the stand, trying to avoid lawsuits and trying desperately not to laugh since the auction still had its final prize left, Jamie.

"What did you say to him?" you asked, as you finally say back down, hand in hand with Roy. 

"I told him I knew where he lived and enough people to hold him down if he didn't back off what's mine, “Roy said as cool as a cucumber as if he didn't just threaten to beat a multi-millionaire, possibly billionaire at this point. "Plus, I said I'd tell his wife about you know who," 

This however caught your, Keeley’s, and Jamie's attention, "Who's you know who?" Keeley ask as you all three leaned in for the dirt. 

"Fuck knows," Roy barked making you all look at each other confused, "once a scumbag always a scumbag. There's probably some poor girl out there he’s fucked I just don't know which one," 

The three of you began to cackle as Rebecca announced her last prize of the night. “Time to shine,” Jamie said as he got up, running a hand through his hair before jogging up to join Rebecca on stage. His cocky joy went from pale faced terror when the woman who won Roy last year won him this year but for £9000. Jamie returned to the table, no pep in his step or swagger in his walk as he sunk down into his chair, “Why did you save me?” he whispered in betrayal.

“I’m not your girlfriend anymore, remember,” Keeley teased as she sat back in her chair, “Call us even for last year babes,”

Jamie turned from Keeley to you and Roy, looking like a kicked puppy, “Roy?”

“Mate I’ve just spent 50 grand tonight. go fuck yourself,” Roy said before what was left of his drink.

“It’s for children Roy,” Jamie said as he sulked back into his chair.

“Fuck the children,” Roy said with no hesitation, “I’ve just bought them a really fucking nice orphanage to stop some old prick touching my bird,”

you couldn’t help but laugh at how Jamie pouted in his seat, trying to avoid the old woman’s little waves. “You do release your little stunt means we need to do press now?” you said, glancing up to a now groaning Roy.

“Already on its babes,” Keeley said from where she sat on her phone, “I’ve been waiting for this for months. knew you two wouldn’t go for my soft launch option,”

“Fucks a soft launch?” Roy said, confusing racking his face as he turned to you.

you patted his arm and shook your head, “You just let me and Keels deal with this yeah?”

Roy sighed as he sat back in his chair shaking his head, “I fucking hate charity,”

[vertigoed]

seasons | satoru gojo

all your life, you’ve lied but satoru knew the truth.

summary: fem!reader x richboy!satoru, childhood bestfriends, satoru is an aspiring start up entrepreneur, reader is in established relationship with toji and in lawschool (reader aged 22, satoru 24)

your friendship with satoru was strictly platonic. this was what you'd swore to everyone throughout most of your life, like a mantra playing on a broken record. that the son of the famous architect was like your older brother and that you'd rather die than see him as a man.

when you first met him, you were only 8 and he had just turned 10. his parents had recently gotten divorced, resulting in a moody satoru moving in next door, with his mom who dressed fancy and smoked a lot.

you were an extroverted child, a bit nosey and always wanting to befriend every kid you encountered. satoru, however, was the opposite. he exuded an air of shyness and snobbishness, often wrinkling his pointed nose in disdain at the things he found unamusing.

you didn't let that bother you and always knocked at his door, asking his mother if the boy can come out and play.

initially, his mom would have to drag him out, but eventually he started to warm up to you. he started to share his candy without you having to plead and some days, he'd shyly knock at your door to ask you to play.

despite satoru being older, he'd often be seen shadowing your every move, akin to a lost puppy, listening to your childish demands and playing the games that you liked.

once his voice dropped, he stopped being so obedient and started to boss you around, which of course led to many childish arguments. when you started to wear padded bras, a noticeable change occurred in satoru's behavior. he became increasingly awkward, abruptly getting up and leaving if you'd touch him the wrong way or avoiding your eyes if you wore something a bit revealing.

high school was rough for the both of you. girls either hated your guts or befriended you to solely get close to satoru. while satoru had to deal with his class mates oggling at you in the hallways and constantly being asked if he's 'done it' yet.

"y/n!"

you lifted your head from your arms, frowning in annoyance as you were just about to drift off to sleep. you tiredly watch sakura stroll over to you with a pink box in her hand.

"i was just about to sleep," you rolled your eyes, resting your chin on your hand with heavy lids.

you were barely surviving with just four hours of sleep as you stayed up all night cramming for an exam. you were in no mood to deal with sakura, already knowing what she wanted from you.

"can you give this to gojo senpai?" she hummed, placing the box on your desk, "and maybe invite him to my birthday party? of course, you need to come too-"

"do it yourself," you buried your face into the crook of your arms, hoping she'll take the hint to leave.

"please," she began to whine, crouching down next to you so she was at face level. you felt her gently shake your shoulder, "i'm too scared and you're like super close to him. just say it's from me-"

"ask shoko or suguru," you snapped.

you hated that all the girls in your grade expected you to be satoru's postman. it was almost a daily occurrence where you'd find chocolates and letters at your desk with his name labelled on it.

but one thing you hated more was when they would personally come up to you for a favour and beg until you gave in.

"but they're older and scaryyy.. please y/n."

"fine!" you groaned, cutting her off as you were unable to tolerate her pitched voice, "let me at least sleep until lunch is over."

"yay you're the best! love you!”

you could hear the girl get up and walk away, sliding the door shut behind her and finally leaving you alone in the classroom.

"she's such a rude bitch sometimes," sakura's loud voice echoed into the hallway.

"she thinks she's top shit just because she's friends with gojo senpai. but seriously, she's just his lackey don't you think so?" you heard another voice chime in and the girls all burst into laughter.

"yeah, she probably does his homework for him and wipe his ass or something because there's no way someone like gojo senpai would want to hang out..."

you felt your blood boil with anger, not necessarily at sakura, but more towards satoru. it was infuriating that people saw you as nothing more than just gojo satoru’s friend. you were sick of school feeling like his kingdom and you were some sort of side character who’s main purpose is to deliver gifts for the almighty gojo.

you look at the box wrapped in baby pink wrapping paper with a blue bow placed on top. "i'm his lackey?" you bitterly muttered to yourself, ripping the paper off.

it was a box of nama royce chocolate. you scoffed at sakura's stupidity of gifting food that was meant to be refrigerated. you scoffed down the chocolates, leaving the wrapping paper on your desk so sakura would notice.

coincidentally, you spot satoru's white hair walking past the room with shoko. you angrily sculled back some water to wash the chocolate down, before stomping out to chase your friend.

"satoru!” you take an airy breath before calling out to him.

he spun at the sound of your voice with a bright grin, his eyes trailing to the box in your hands .

"yo! another present for me?" he greeted you, blue eyes glistening with excitement, "are those nama chocolates? are they still cold-"

you stomped over and shoved the empty box into his hands, "they were cold," you lied (they were room temperature) "and really fucking delicious."

"you ate it?" he looked surprised, slowly opening the box to see it bare and looked back up with disappointment, "but they're not meant for you to eat..."

"from now on, i'm going to take a cut of your presents," you narrowed your eyes before turning to shoko who seemed to be entertained by the little scene, "hey shoko-"

"wait why are you mad at me?" satoru cuts you off and much to his annoyance, your eyes remained firmly on his friend and not him.

"it's annoying right?" shoko linked her arm with you, ignoring the taller boy, "i know exactly how you feel. before you joined this school, i had to put up with the same bullshit."

"people think i'm his lackey," you sulked, letting the older girl walk you down and leaving a confused satoru behind, "and they all think they can use me to get close to him, i'm so over it!"

"i know, we overheard those girls talk.... it's infuriating but don't let it get to you," shoko gave you a sympathetic smile, giving your arm a small squeeze in reassurance, "seriously, i don't know why people put that dumb ass on a pedestal. he's got a pretty head but it's just an accessory with nothing inside."

you laughed a little too hard at shoko's roast.

"i can hear you guys talk shit aboout me! and shoko can you tell y/n that i stood up for her to those-"

"don't worry, we'll be graduating soon so you won't have to deal with him any longer at school," shoko flashed you a grin.

following his high school graduation, satoru moved into one of his father's apartments in ginza as it was closer to his university.

despite him no longer being your neighbor, your friendship remained resolute. you would go over to his apartment almost daily after school, where you'd have a study session, then force him to buy you dinner. thanks to satoru's help, you graduated with grades good enough to get into law school.

things started to get rocky when you got into your first serious relationship at the age of 20.

the moment satoru somehow found out that your boyfriend was 37 with two kids, he lost his shit. he showed up to your door with an expression so dark, his voice so low and fraught with tension, that for the first time in your life, you felt a pang of fear within you.

"you just turning fucking 20 and you're whoring out for a guy who's almost double your fucking age?" he hissed, an unmistakable scent of alcohol lingered heavily on his breath.

"w-what? how did you find out?" you freeze at the door, slightly too frightened to move.

you purposely kept your relationship with toji fushiguro a secret as you were afraid of satoru judgement. you didn't expect him to be this upset though.

he pushed past you to let himself in. "does that matter?" satoru raised his voice. you couldn't tell if he was disappointed or disgusted. "are you with him for money? because you know i can take care of you, you just need to let me know!"

you shook your head, unable to find your voice as satoru was partially correct. money played a big part in your relationship with toji but he didn't have to know that. you bit your lip, sucking in your teeth, "money has nothing to do with this," you lied.

his brows knit into a tight scowl, "so you genuinely like that old fucker?"

"i-i," you tried to think of words to say. "you haven't even met him, he's really nice-"

"he's 16 years older than you!" his fist slams against the table, causing you to flinch in shock. his face softened, immediately regretting his outburst, "i'm sorry.”

"i'm not a kid," you spoke quietly, taking the seat next to him at the table, "i-i get why it may seem wrong but he cares for me and i'm sorry i didn't tell you. it's only been a couple months-"

"so you want to be a step mom at 20?" he said, letting out a humorless laugh, "you're in law school and you want to waste your time dating a old geezer who's got two fucking kids?"

you couldn't look at him in the eyes and kept your gaze firmly on your lap. having two kids was last of toji's issues. the man owned several clubs across roppongi and shibuya where he money laundered billions, as well as hosting highly illegal, drug infested parties for japan's top 1%.

toji getting caught was near impossible due to his connections with the law enforcement. but you were still afraid of the possible consequences of being a criminal's girlfriend and what it may do to your future career. you knew satoru had every right to be worried.

"stop being like this satoru," you let out a shaky sigh, "j-just stop caring so much."

"oh my god y/n," he groaned into his hands before tugging at his white strands in frustration, "you're fucking killing me here. how do you expect me to not care when it's you?"

"look i get it. i'm like your younger sister and obviously you'd be protective-"

your breath hitched as satoru moved at lightning speed, pressing his lips against yours. he was too quick for your mind to process what was going on as your eyes remained wide open.

it was a blur of dizzying heat, your stomach doing somersaults in a panicked, frenzy mode as your brain was screaming for you to do something- anything.

"are you okay?!" you pushed him off, your heart pounding violently against your chest and blood rush through you in a way it shouldn't.

you couldn't understand why your stomach was swarming with monstrous butterflies and your legs felt like custard. you should be repulsed, not nervous.

"no, just trying to make a point that you're not my sister," his mouth settled somewhere between a smile and a frown as his icy blue eyes bored into you.

he swiftly leaned into you again and cupped your cheek, his touch causing your breath to hitch. " you should be with me instead,” his voice barley above a whisper.

your eyes were almost bursting out your head as you stared back in disbelief, it had to be the alcohol talking.

and for the first time in your life, you felt yourself weak before his famous blue eyes that everyone seemed to swoon for. your heart fluttered and your eyes trail down to his soft lips. that kiss felt like a fever dream, you wanted to feel it again so badly...

wait, what the fuck is wrong with me?!

"you're wasted," you snapped out of the trance, breaking eye contact, “w-we should talk about this when you’re sober."

"what does he have that i don't?" he spoke calmly, his cold fingers digging into your cheek, ”besides fucking kids? was the kiss that awful?"

you pulled his hands off you, still feeling his blue orbs burning into you as you defensively cross your arms. objectively speaking, it wasn't like he was lacking in any way, if anything he was a perfect boyfriend candidate. but your friendship with him was also perfect- so perfect that you were terrified of ruining it.

your mouth opens and shuts, caught in the grip of uncertainty as your mind battled itself. you couldn't bring yourself to admit the unexpected allure of his lips- you just weren't prepared to acknowledge that truth yet.

“i'm with toji," you said softly, lowering your eyes, "i think you had too much to drink tonight, you need to leave."

his face dropped and it was like all the lights in his eyes went dim. with his shoulders slouched, he shoots you a fleeting look before leaving without another word. you found yourself tossing and turning all night, unable to close as your eyes as the hurt look he flashed upon you was etched into your memory,

the next morning, satoru acted like the kiss never happened so you followed suit and tried to forget it- after all, he was drunk so he probably blacked out.

the day you realised you loved satoru as more than just a friend, you were a few years too late.

"you're dating rumi yoshimoto?" the words escaped your lips louder than intended, causing a few heads to turn in the cafe. your face heats up in embarrassment and you try to relax your composure, "-is this why you asked to meet up?"

this was your first time seeing satoru in a couple months so when he asked to meet up at a cafe, you were bursting with excitement, even putting on some makeup before leaving the house. your shoulders deflate in disappointment and your stomach felt as if you've been punched in the guts.

"yeah," he nodded, looking up from his hot chocolate, "it only happened last week."

words failed you in that moment as a mixture of contradicting feelings wash over you. you should be happy for him, or at least be curious about the details. so why did you feel a sickening sense of jealousy?

it made sense for satoru and rumi to be together. they had been friends since college; she worked under him at his startup tech company and they were both attractive and available. on the other hand, you were already in a three-year-long relationship with no right to be salty.

"wow, this is the first time you've even spoken to me about another girl," you tried to sound nonchalant, but your stomach churned. you take a long sip of you drink to wash down the tightness of your throat, "i never even thought you'd be interested in rumi."

satoru's love life had been virtually non-existent- or so you thought- aside from a few casual one night stands in the past that he never bothered to discuss with you. you'd try to get him to talk about the few girls he hooked up with, but he'd scrunch his nose in disgust in response.

he had thousands of beautiful girls at his feet, yet he'd claim nobody was good enough for him. rumi was the last woman you thought would be good enough for gojo satoru.

"i guess i only started liking her a few weeks ago."

you shift uncomfortably at the thought of satoru and rumi dating. act normal. why are you being such a weirdo? you silently scold yourself,.

you take a small breath and force the corners of your mouth into a smile. "h-how did it start?" you kept your attention on your melon soda, stirring it with the straw, "who confessed to who first?"

"she asked me out then i told her to give me a couple weeks to think about it," he leaned back in his seat to stretch out his long arms as he yawned, clearly showing that this conversation was boring him. you couldn't help but admire the cords of muscle in his thick forearms bulge with each flex of movement, "but, anyway that's me. how's your life been?"

"huh?" you blinked, breaking your gaze away from his body and hastily divert your attention elsewhere. you prayed he didn't see you checking him out. "oh um, good. i finished my exams so i'm done for the year and uh... going on a trip in a few weeks."

"to where?"

"europe," you gulped, stirring the ice cream into the green drink.

satoru kept quiet. he didn't even have to ask who you were going with. toji fushiguro had become the forbidden topic between you two.

"rumi huh?" you take a tip out of your drink, hastily changing the subject to break the tension, "how long did she have feelings for you?"

you've only met rumi a handful of times but it was enough to get a slight feeling that she had a crush on satoru, as you noticed her lingering stares on him whenever you met her at one of his parties.

"she said since freshman year in college, so six years or so," he shrugged, "i don't know how i feel about dating someone who works under me though."

you wanted to tell him it's a horrible idea, that rumi could never match his energy and he should break it off. you bite your cheek. you should be supportive and play the best friend role like you're supposed to.

"love can grow over time," you gulped, fiddling with the hem of your sweater underneath the table, "just give it a chance."

you were burning with self hatred at that moment. you coulnd't understand why you were so bummed out by this, why it was so upsetting that-

“i wish you'd stop me."

a baby started screaming on top of their lungs simultaneously as he spoke. you furrowed your brows, leaning in, “huh?”

you weren't sure if you just misheard but did he just say? no, you must've misheard.

“nothing, i said let's go,” he looked away and got up, “i'll pay."

you follow the six foot four man outside, the cold winter air brushing against your skin, causing you to shiver and tighten the scarf around your neck. you watched how satoru walked with confidence, head held high and ignoring every head that turned to admire the model like man.

"let me drive you home," he turned to you, "i parked a few blocks down."

"okay," you nodded, quickening your pace to close the gap between you two, "so, how's the business going?"

"good," he answered, "i've got a meeting with an investor next week."

you get into his sleek black mclaren, buckling yourself as he started up the engine. "do you mind if we drop by the office on the way to yours? just need to grab my laptop," he said, resting his hand behind your head rest as he reversed out.

“i don’t mind,” you answered, playing with the rings on your finger as you looked out the tinted windows.

your mind drifts off to the night satoru kissed you. even three years later, you frequently thought about it. you always questioned if it was fueled by the alcohol or genuine feelings; wondering what would’ve happened happened if you kissed him back and what if you didn't push him away- would you have left toji and be his girlfriend instead of rumi?

truth be told, you weren't even certain how you felt towards satoru at this stage. the thought of being in a relationship with him terrified you. you were never a believer in true love and rather believed in statistics that proved 70% of relationships fail in the first year.

you simply loved him too much so you didn’t want to risk possibly losing your friendship over a relationship that was bound to fail.

satoru pulls into the parking lot of his office that was tucked in between a diner and a vintage records shop. satoru’s office was location on the top floor of the 50 storey building that his father owned and the rest of the building was shared with other businesses.

you raised a brow when you saw rumi's car was also parked. you casually announced that you'll follow him in.

"i’ll try to be quick, ten minutes max," satoru turned to you in the elevator as you smoothed down your hair.

"yeah, that's fine," you shrugged, checking your reflection in the mirror.

satoru's stare lingers on you, breaking off when the elevator door opens, revealing the woman you were hoping to see. your eyes trail down to her outfit, a tight midi skirt and cream colored turtleneck.

"h-hey guys!" rumi's voice was pitched, clearly surprised to see you, "what are you doing here?"

her usual black hair was curled into loose waves and she wasn't wearing her thick rimmed glasses that hid her features. she looked pretty and you hated that.

"hey, i'm just getting my laptop," the arctic haired man greets the girl, oblivious to her stunned reaction.

you knew rumi never liked you- or at least, was uncomfortable around you- but, you didn't mind that, especially in times like this, watching her squirm bought you satisfaction.

"hey rumi, congrats on the new relationship!" you chirped brightly at the taller woman, a wide smile plastered on your face, "i'm guessing that's why you're all dressed up?"

satoru shoots rumi a cursory glance without much expression.

"oh... s-satoru already told you," she stuttered, looking at her new boyfriend, who was oblivious to her tone with her lips pressed into a tight smile.

"well, i'm going to be in the office, text me when you get home," the tall man gives his girlfriend another fleeting look before leaving his defenseless girlfriend to your antics.

the dark haired woman wrapped her arms around herself, shifting uncomfortably in her boots, "s-so what are you guys doing after?"

"oh us?" your tone was causal and light, "we're probably going to chill at mine."

rumi's face goes pale and you notice her jaw clench ever so slightly. you laugh and give her a light slap on the shoulder, "what's with the face! don't worry, it's nothing like that," you giggled.

poor rumi start to laugh with you, although she didn't know what was so funny. rumi swallowed her discomfort. after all, you're satoru's childhood friend, practically family and she'd only started dating him a week ago.

"i'm not worried," rumi plastered a smile, meeting your eyes.

well you should be, you think to yourself but instead, you smile back at her. "oh by the way," you lowered your voice, "you got like food stuck in your teeth, must've been from lunch."

you gesture at the left side of your mouth, your lips curled into a faint smirk. rumi turns her head down to the floor and pressed the elevator button to go down, muttering a goodbye to you.

did you feel like immature? yes but what could you do when all you could see is green?

you give the door a quick knock before stepping into the office. satoru was busily typing away at his laptop, not even bothering to acknowledge you.

you walked over to his chair to peek over his shoulder, scrunching your nose at all the complicated coding stuff. you sat yourself on the massive couch facing the french windows.

one prominent feature of the's office was the wall made entirely of glass stretching from floor to ceiling, showing a panoramic view of lively shinjuku below. the sun was setting, casting a gorgeous hue of purple and red over the cityscape of towering buildings with glistening lights and billboards. no matter how many times you've visited his work place, you couldn't get over this sight.

you then tried to focus on your phone, mindlessly scrolling in between apps. a fan edit of satoru's high school photos showed up on your tiktok feed, your lips twitch into a wistful smile as you reminisce on your youth.

back then, people expected him to become an athlete or a professional mma fighter due to his innate atheletic talents. nobody expected him to enroll in computer science and all thought he was wasting his gift.

little did they know satoru also happened to be a coding genius. at the age of 20, he was making headlines in the tech industry, labelled as the gen z mark zukerberg. tiktok and twitter soon found out about gojo satoru, which led to him becoming an online sensation with millions of fans thirsting over him.

your eyes float over to your friend. you were still in disbelief that satoru was finally in his first relationship at the age of 24. as stupid as this may sound, but you never thought this day would come- well not this quick anyway.

"i can feel you staring at me," he broke off your chain of thoughts, catching you off guard. your face heats up in embarrassment and you hastily avert your gaze away. he stood from his seat as he packed his laptop into his bag, "what did i do?"

"nothing," you shook your head as you got up from the couch.

suddenly, you heard satoru's stomach grumble. "i cooked pasta for lunch, do you want some?" you asked as you wait for the elevator.

you bit your lip, watching the flicker of surprise crosses his eyes as he hesitate to answer.

"yeah alright." satoru brushed off the slight prick in his moral compass, telling himself there was no harm in just going over to a friend's apartment for dinner.

so when rumi texted him asking him what he was doing later that night, he lied and replied saying he was at suguru's apartment. when in reality, he was sitting on your couch, lighting up a blunt, with you sitting comfortably close.

he tried to ignore his conscientious side nagging him that this was wrong. not because you're a woman.

but, because it was you. the one who made his heart race whenever your skin brushed against his. only you could turn him on just by your scent or the way you looked up at him with glistening eyes. only you could get him hard by innocently bending over to pick up the fallen remote.

it was you that he was alone with while he's in a committed relationship, which was why he had to leave.

"i have to go," he took an airy breath, standing up from the sofa without a glance.

he never thought of himself as a good guy. in fact he’s done plenty of morally questionable things in the past. but he knew he wasn't going to let himself become a cheater like his father.

"what, why?" you get up as well, following him to the door as he hurriedly shrugged his jacket on.

you grabbed his wrist so he'd face you but his 6'4 frame wouldn't budge.

"i-i shouldn't be doing this," he said with a stoic expression.

"why? we're just watching a movie," you were beyond confused as he was laughing at the movie ten minutes ago. you racked you brain, trying to think what you did wrong that could've upset him so much.

satoru pulled out of your grip and seemed to hesitate to say something before shaking his head and letting out an exasperated sigh, "i'll text you," he murmured, before closing the door behind him.

you don't notice the tears pooling down your eyes, lips quivering as your knees dropped you to the floor. you were only watching a movie with him, something you've done a million times with him. it hurt to know things were going to change from now. you felt pathetic, wallowing like this in self pity and regret.

you wished you didn't care so much and that you could be happy for them. it wasn't like you could rewind the time and change the past, but still, you desperately wished you could take back those words you said.

you thought back to all the times satoru had cared for you, in a way nobody had before. he was never the type of person to verbally express his love, instead showed it everyday with abundance.

satoru was the type to remember you complaining about your headphones being uncomfortable and casually get you a new pair the next day, under the guise that he accidentally bought himself two sets.

there was a phase in high school when you and satoru would often have petty arguments and you'd act like a total brat to him, your teenage hormones fueling your emotions to hurl hurtful insults. surprisingly though, satoru would still drive you to school the next day, albeit, it was always a silent car ride as he still held a grudge against you.

he knew every detail about you and sometimes you felt like he knew you better than yourself. he kept you grounded, always pushing you to be better. even when he was drowning in college exams, he'd still make time to tutor you and helped you keep in track with your studies, knowing you lacked self discipline and would procrastinate if he didn't do so.

when your grandmother passed away, he wasn't sure what to say to comfort you- instead, he cried with you and stayed until you were okay. with satoru by your side, you never once felt alone. it was no secret that you loved satoru but it was daunting to finally realise how deep it was.

was this how satoru felt when he found out about toji?

--

i didnt proof read this but yay thank u if u read this far.

(reader is so messy ik )

[themagnusprotocol-avaragerant]

Good evening listeners!

Episode 1.

This summary is going to include the theory that Elias, Jon and Martin are all voices in FR3DD1! I’m sure you all can do your research.

I’m going to start off with my general thoughts! This episode was long and I’m sorry for the rant, it’s supposed to be concise but I got distracted! Please let me know what you’d like me to focus on in future, I’d love to hear your ideas!

What are my thoughts?

- At the beginning, we seem to be listening to this episode from the recording of a PC. Maybe the very same PC that holds Jon and his friends? Who knows!

TEDDY: Teddy’s leaving party! That totally isn’t gonna bite him in the arse! I find it quite surprising as I thought institute workers couldn’t leave. Though, this is the OIAR. Not the institute. But I think we’ll be seeing our little friend quite soon!

COLIN: Colin is a little ray of sunshine, isn’t he? Can’t wait to see how he handles our little friends in the computer! He seems to be under the sort of “curse” that prevents him from leaving. Teddy seems to know it. Which begs the question, why can Teddy leave? He has been working on this program for 2 years, and has tried everything under the sun! At the end, he seems rather frenzied. He is frantically searching through drawers and talking to FR3DD1. He seems aware that Freddy can hear him, and determined to find out! I wonder how well that went for our past team, hmm?

GWEN: It seems Gwen’s anger is unfounded. Why? I haven’t a clue. Maybe we’ll find out why she hates Alice in later episodes? She also seems to want to be head of the OIAR badly. Maybe something to do with her being a Bouchard?

- “modified version of Windows NT 4.0” maybe that detail will be useful!

SAM: Sam on his paperwork ticked a box called “response 121”! I’m sure that’ll have 0 consequences later on whatsoever! Don’t you?

Our statement is read out by our good friend Norris! This I believe is Alexander, our voice actor for Martin!

The statement is an email. Here are the details!

To: Darla Winstead (dwinny@mailpod.com) 
From: Harriet Winstead (hpw332@mailpod.com)
Date: May 12, 2022
Subject: Re: Re: checking in

I won’t explain the whole statement, you’ve probably heard the episode! But i will link the transcripts for you who want to do a little digging!

A brief summary of it: a woman who is mourning the loss of a lover suddenly gets a call from a voice sounding suspiciously like the dead man himself! She goes to the cemetery only to be met with “some of him”, as the creature put it. This sends her into a panic!

And it turns out we get another statement too! This one seems to be read out by Chester, who I believe to be Jon, but it doesn’t give us a clear name! Here are the details!

Forums.lostcityurbex.com.

Board index. Spelunking. Sites.

New topic: Magnus Institute Ruins

By RedCanary on Sunday April 10, 2022. 3:31pm.

A brief summary: a spelunker called “RedCanary” goes to explore the Magnus institute ruins after some form of fire happened years ago. He seems spooked out, finding “symbols and stuff and some pretty suspicious stains on some floors.” Aswell as a sense of anxiety he didn’t have before! He ended up getting banned due to Gory images, something about eyes? Maybe it’s our good friend Jonah leaving his mark! Who knows?

Please let me know if iv missed anything at all! Feel free to mention any theories you may have. I want this to be an area where you can get those little cogs turning!

And as always…

Thankyou for listening.

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

Previous chapter | Next chapter | Masterlist

Ch. 27: Forward

Between hurting, crying, and cursing, Hyeri came to the conclusion that the few things she initially threw in her bag weren’t enough. While she had Yoongi locked out she packed more things expecting to be away for a while. She isn’t exactly sure how long she’ll be gone, but she wanted to make sure she was prepared.

One of her best friends and former bandmate, Haeun agreed to let Hyeri stay with her as long as she needs. Haeun is gearing up for a season of a new reality show where she will be a dance mentor for a group of young dancers looking for a big break and a spot in a music video with Mamamoo. Until the show starts shooting, she’s ready to give her maknae Hyeri her undivided attention to help heal the hurt she’s going through.

Yoongi has spent the better part of the past two hours pacing back and forth in the living room. Occasionally he’ll stop to cry, then he’ll resume pacing the floor. His heart is shattered but he knows Hyeri’s heart is in much worse shape. He hates that she doesn’t want him to find her, but he understands it. He hates that she left at all, but he understands it.

“FUCK!!!” He cries.

Silence.

Tears.

Silence.

“Hyeri,” he cries into his phone where he’s managed to start recording a voice message to her. “I’m so sorry. Please. Please tell me what I can do to make this better. I know I hurt you and I’ll live the rest of my life in misery knowing that I hurt the one person who means more to me than myself. I know you don’t want me to find you, but I just want to know you’re safe. That’s all. I deserve all of this. I fucked everything up. I hurt you so much more than you ever hurt me. I’m so fucking stupid for doing that. Please just let me know you’re safe. Talk to me. I want to talk to you. Please. When you’re ready. I love you so much, Na Hyeri. Whatever you want, tell me. I’ll give you everything you ask for. Just…please come home. Let me fix this.”

Hyeri wouldn’t normally check her phone so often while she’s on set, but today is an exception for the sake of her anxiety. She asked her manager to alert her if there are any damaging reports that come out about her being seen leaving her and Yoongi’s shared apartment. She’s been caught in one media frenzy after another and she’ll be damned if she gets caught up in another one because of Yoongi’s bullshit. Especially while she’s currently working on this drama that could possibly change her entire acting career. As soon as anything comes up about herself she wants to know so she can have it shut down quickly.

During one of her many phone breaks she sees the voice message Yoongi left her. She stares at it a moment contemplating whether she should listen to it or not. She’s still very upset and in no mood to hear anything he has to say right now. Despite that, there’s still a part of her that wants to hear it. She wants to hear his voice. She wants to know if he sounds remorseful. Of course he always does when he’s begging for her forgiveness. He always sounds like he’s using his last breath to keep her alive. Like his life would be over if she left him. But that’s why she can’t listen to his message. She knows the moment she hears his voice her heart will weaken and she’ll find herself ducking through a mob of paparazzi again to return home to him. She has to be strong this time for her own healing. She wishes she hadn’t spent most of the time while he was gone pretending like she had completely forgiven him. She could have used that time to truly heal instead. Now she’s trying to stay focused on giving a top tier performance while she’s completely broken inside.

In the meantime, the members have been trying to keep Yoongi’s spirits up. They’ve seen everything being said about him, even things Yoongi hasn’t seen himself. They know he’s having a hard time but they try to assure him things will be ok. Yoongi hasn’t responded to any of their calls or texts so far because he’s not sure what he could even say to them. Their schedules are being changed around because he’s stuck at home until the crowd of media vultures dissipate. It’s exactly the thing he didn’t want to happen. Everything he didn’t want to happen is happening and it’s all making him nauseous.

The entire day is quickly slipping away from Yoongi and he barely realizes it. He feels like he’s done a lot though he’s hardly done anything other than panic, cry, and curse, but now finally he’s managed to pull out his book and start reading to try calming his mind. The only thing that pulls him out of it is a call from Namjoon. Hoping he has information on where Hyeri is, Yoongi quickly answers.

“How are you holding up?” Namjoon asks when Yoongi picks up.

“What kind of question is that?” Yoongi huffs.

“I know, but I was calling to tell you that you don’t have to be stuck at home anymore. Manager Dojoon can come pick you up and make sure you’re not seen. We’re still working on rescheduling things, but at least you can get out.” Namjoon is trying to sound enthusiastic, but he knows that’s not the biggest thing on Yoongi’s mind right now.

“Great,” Yoongi says dryly. “At least I’ll be able to work instead of losing my mind alone.”

“That’s the spirit!” Namjoon jokes. “But really though, I know it’s hard but try to keep your head up. Everything is being taken care of.”

“Have you heard from her?”

“Hyung,” Namjoon sighs. “She’s safe.”

“You know where she is?” Yoongi asks with his desperation rising.

“No,” Namjoon says through his teeth.

Namjoon has been trying to remain a supportive neutral party when it comes to Yoongi and Hyeri’s relationship. He feels like the middle child who only wants to make sure the family doesn’t fall apart. It’s tough because like Yoongi he wants to protect Hyeri, he just wants to know where she is. He thinks she’s terrible with communication and thinking for herself at times and he wants to talk sense into her, but she wants to remain distant because she doesn’t want Namjoon telling Yoongi anything, which hurts him. On the other hand, he is one more damaging rumor away from strangling Yoongi. So far 3 people have claimed to have been intimate with Yoongi over the course of their tour. Whether they’re telling the truth or not doesn’t matter, because just knowing Yoongi was with anyone at all other than Hyeri is upsetting to him. Still, he’s trying his best to remain neutral. His absolute best.

“She won’t tell me where she is because she doesn’t want me to tell you,” Namjoon adds.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi remorsefully says. “To you. To her. To Jin, Hoba, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkookie, all of you, I’m so sorry. I’m trying so hard to make things better but I keep getting pushed back by the shit I got into in the past.”

“I know, hyung,” Namjoon says softly. He knows Yoongi well enough to know he’s sincere and there’s no question in his mind of it, but he still hurts. Yoongi’s actions have caused a lot of problems and it seems like they’re going to get worse before they get better.

“Help me,” Yoongi pleads. “Help me make things right. I’ll do anything.” He pauses. “Help me get her back.”

“Everyone is looking forward to seeing you tomorrow,” Namjoon says ignoring Yoongi’s plea for Hyeri.

“Namjoon…”

“Hyung I can’t get into this,” Namjoon sighs. “When it comes to Rainbow I can’t. You have to do this on your own. As far as me and the rest of the members, we’re excited to have you back. We always miss you and just want you to be happy and healthy, you know that.”

“I know. I lo-“ Yoongi’s breath hitches. “I love you, all of you guys. I’ll spend my life making this right I swear.”

“She just needs time and space. I can’t tell you how to fix things, but…give her the time she needs.”

“I understand. It’s…so hard, Namjoon.”

“It’s hard for everyone.”

“I’m so sorry,” Yoongi repeats. “I was such a different person then. I was so stupid.”

“What’s done is done, hyung. You can’t fix things if you’re still beating yourself up about all of your mistakes. You can’t take them back, you know that, so look forward. I can’t lie and say none of us have been hurt or upset because of the things you’ve done, but it’s done. We know you’re sorry, we’ve accepted your apology and forgiven you, we just want our family back together. That’s all. Focus on what you can do now. Hyeri will come around in her own time and whatever she decides to do next is up to her, but you can’t rush her healing process.” Namjoon hates being so close to both of them because he feels like he hurts twice as much because of it.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi says softly. His eyes are welling with tears and he’s fighting really hard to keep them from falling. “I’m so grateful for you. You are the best leader, friend, and brother. Thank you.”

Everything Namjoon said is what Yoongi needed to hear to guide him away from his cycle of grief and regret. Yoongi already knows all of this. He knows he can only focus on what he can do and he knows forgiveness is something that takes time and he can’t force it. It’s a journey for every individual to get through in their own way. For whatever reason, it never occurred to Yoongi to apply this knowledge to his current situation. It’s easy to know something, but hard to tell yourself when you need to hear it most.

Yoongi doesn’t know what he’d do without his brothers. Namjoon sparked a new light within him to focus on the future, starting with responding to the ignored messages from them all. He apologized to each one individually and expressed how much he loves them. He vows to do better and that he’s eternally thankful for their love and support. He then sends a message to Hyeri. He doesn’t expect her to respond, she didn’t respond to his voice message so he’s sure she’s ignoring him, but he sends the message anyway. There’s nothing more he can say that he hasn’t already said to her, so he keeps it simple.

[Yoongi]: From now on I will do everything I can to make sure you never question my love for you again. I love you.

Hyeri sees Yoongi’s message as she’s about to leave the set for the night. She still can’t get herself to listen to the voice message he left, and considering how her heart skipped a beat at his text, she knows it’s for the best.

With Haeun, Hyeri feels comfortable enough to share all of her feelings that she’s going through. They’re best friends and have been through a lot together. Haeun is always a direct yet considerate person. No one ever has to guess what her feelings are about any situation, but she has a way of softening her words for Hyeri. Sometimes being too blunt can upset Hyeri, so Haeun makes sure to not cross that line.

Hyeri tells Haeun everything that’s been going on. Months of heartache and pain come spilling out of her for the first time. Every single feeling of pain she tried to ignore, every moment she thought she had forgiven Yoongi, every time she really really wished she did forgive him, it all came barreling towards Haeun as she poured Hyeri a glass of wine. She knew there were problems between Hyeri and Yoongi but she didn’t know to what extent. The more Hyeri speaks the more Haeun realizes she hasn’t had anyone to talk to for support. It’s clear Yoongi is that for her, but when he’s the problem Hyeri feels she has nowhere to go so she holds it in and tries to handle it on her own, which clearly hasn’t been doing her any good.

Haeun encourages Hyeri to let go of everything she’s feeling, then makes Hyeri promise she won’t hold things in like this again. Haeun is supportive and also tells Hyeri that she needs to be honest with herself first and foremost. Only she will know if she can work past Yoongi’s infidelity and find trust in him again, not sometimes but all the time. Haeun reminds Hyeri that she can stay as long as she needs, but she knows how much Hyeri loves Yoongi and she encourages her to listen to her heart.

It all seems like fairytale advice to Hyeri in the moment. Of course she should listen to her heart, but is listening to her heart supposed to hurt this much? Her heart is what had her thinking she forgave Yoongi when she hadn’t. Is listening to her heart really the best advice? She’s thankful that Haeun will let her stay at her place as long as it takes her to figure it out because she thinks it will certainly take some time.

Yoongi was picked up and taken to the company building the next day just as Namjoon said. Manager Dojoon let him know that there was something that needed to be taken care of before Yoongi could head off to his studio.

A drug test.

Yoongi thinks it’s absolutely fucking absurd that he has to take a drug test. He thought they would know better than to believe random people spreading rumors online, but due to his previously hidden alcoholism they just wanted to be sure before releasing a statement and taking legal action against those spearheading the drug rumors. It’s annoying but Yoongi complies knowing he has nothing to hide and knowing he’s the reason for this in the first place. After embarrassingly handing over a cup of his urine to the person administering the drug test, Yoongi retreats to his studio hoping to not be seen the rest of the day.

A couple of hours into working, Hobi comes by to check in on Yoongi. He can tell Yoongi hasn’t had much sleep, but other than that he looks fine on the outside. Hobi doesn’t want to get into things that may bring the mood down, so he only discusses music. Their new songs, plans for promo appearances on various shows, things of that nature. Yoongi knows that’s what he’s doing and he’s thankful for it. They go over lyrics, give feedback on a few mixes, and talk about how excited they are for this album. Yoongi apologizes for causing their schedules to be rearranged but Hobi assures him it’s not a big deal. Truthfully Hobi enjoyed the unexpected rest this created so he instead thanks Yoongi for that with his contagious laughter.

After talking to Namjoon and now Hobi, Yoongi feels a bit lighter. The others have only sent texts so far, but he can still feel their forgiveness and support. The guys have each gone through their own process of forgiving Yoongi over time, building their trust back isn’t easy, but everyone is on the mend. Yoongi is happy, he just wishes he could have one more person’s forgiveness.

[my-name-is-luke]

I did a thing a while ago and finally got the courage to post it here. :) hope y’all like it. 💖

Thinking of doing more JATP covers if anyone wants to follow me on tiktok. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[poppy-metal]

Demure

Wc: 4k

Pairing: eren jaeger x reader

Cw: car sex, fingering, emphasis on reader being innocent and a virgin. reader is armins little sister. corruption kink

you're 6 years old when you first meet eren jaeger. apparently he'd run off some people that were bullying you big brother, armin. you admire him and mikasa immediately.

you're 8 and he's 11 when you get a scrape on your knee from playing tag. eren runs into your mothers bathroom to fish out the first aid-kit, you know he just doesn't want you to tattle, you never would anyway, but he pulls out a pink band-aid with little ariels all over it and places it gently over the cut. he stays there for a few beats, soothing the skin around the hurt area with his thumbs. his big bright green eyes look up at you, "better?" and that's the first time your heart skips for a boy.

you're 11 and he's 14 when armin starts becoming protective. "he's had like. 5 girlfriends in middle school, who knows what he's gonna be like in high-school"

it intrigue you, for some reason.

you're 13 and he's 16 when he taps furiously on your window at night, wild eyed and wearing a t-shirt and sweats. he falls ungracefully on his ass when you let him in, though he grins at you from the floor. "thanks, squirt"

you wince at the nickname, knowing it solidifies you as someone only platonic to him. armins little sister and nothing more. "what's this all about?"

he gets up and swipes imaginary dust off his sweats, looking around your room. its absurdly girly. he picks up one of your plushies and tosses it up, then catches it, peering over at you and grinning. "i hope you never change," he sighs and flops down onto your pink sheets. "girls my age are fucking psychos"

you creep closer to him, snatching your plush back. "im sure there's something you're leaving out there. im not completely dumb, you know"

he waves his hand, "yeah but you're....i don't know? innocent or whatever. you don't care about shit like boys and drama"

i do care about boys, you think, watching the way his shirt rides up to expose a hint of tan skin. you look away, squeezing your plush to your chest. "im gonna grow up eventually, ren"

he sighs and sits up, looking at you from under his ridiculously cute floppy brown hair. "Just promise me you won't go boy crazy"

you roll your eyes and sit down next to him, he leans in and licks a broad stripe against your cheek with his tongue, grinning "we have cooties"

you swat at him and wipe your cheek, groaning and calling him gross. "i know that. you and armin never let me forget how gross boys are", you side eye him. "what did you even do? really?"

he looks to the side, only now having it in him to look the least bit sheepish, "my girlfriend may have caught me with my hand down historias skirt..."

"EREN JAEGER!!!"

yeah, boys really are gross. but not eren, no he's beautiful and magical and makes you feel all the fluttery things. but he's also a player, a bad boy, dangerous and completely off limits. maybe your crush should have ended there, but of course it didn't.

You're 15 when you go on your first date with a boy. until now you haven’t allowed yourself to even think about men outside of the enigma that is eren jaeger, but that’s a lost cause, a stupid crush you need to let go of. and despite what eren thinks, you’re not that innocent. not in your head anyway. you’re a girl and you have fantasies. 

the guy is nice, armin likes him enough. big and tall and humble, reiner brought you flowers for your first date. the age difference is a little weird, he’s in erens grade, a senior, but you think its harmless. you’re turning 16 soon. the date goes well, you smile and giggle alot, and reiner seems smitten by the end of it. he even goes as far as to kiss your hand when he drops you back off at home, at 8pm sharp, just like he promised. he was kind and sweet, and you liked him, but you wonder what it means that there were no flutters in your belly, not like when you’re around him…

you’re still thinking about that when you open the door, and walk inside. the house is quiet, and you wonder where armin is, and eren. thinking they both must be in armins room, you go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, stopping on your path there when you see eren on the couch. he’s lounging back, hand idly wrapped around a gaming controller as he watches you.

you glance around him. “where’s mimmin?”

he doesn’t take his eyes off you. “annie called”, he leans forward a little, propping his chin in his palm as he observes you quietly for a moment.

you squirm in place, his eyes are too hot. “oh” and you make to start moving again but his voice stops you. 

“so. braun, huh?” his tone is hard to discern, the words coming out cool and detached, but his eyes are that intense green. 

“yeah” you say, shifting on your feet. “he was nice. kissed my hand and everything”

“sounds like a dream” and that is definitely said sarcastically. you bristle but eren is already turning away from you, facing the TV. “didn’t think he was your type though” 

because erens been your type since forever, you guess he’s right. reiner couldn’t be more different in both personality and looks, but maybe that’s a good thing. “maybe he can be” you say softly, looking at your feet. you dont see erens eyebrows jump, or his lips twist disdainfully. 

“If you wanna settle for missionary the rest of your life, then sure, go ahead” he sounds a little miffed and that confuses you. makes you look up. you don’t even know reiner that well, but you feel the need to defend him from erens usual snarky jabs. 

“not every guy that doesn’t live on Xbox and fuck half the school is a bland guy” you huff. you feel a little guilty for calling him out but he started it. eren hated preps, that was obvious, but its not like he was a model person either, if his long track record of promiscuity was anything to go by. reiner wasnt boring he just…..wasn’t eren. but that wasn’t a flaw. It shouldn’t be. 

“you been keeping tabs on me, princess?” eren asks wryly, smirking now. you just glare at him, quirking a brow and daring him to prove you wrong, to say he’s better. 

he doesn’t. he just looks at you, sets his controller down and does that tick he’d developed since he was young of jiggling his knee, tapping his finger on it. “don’t go on more dates with him” 

you squint your eyes, “and why not?”

“because i said so” 

“you’re not my boss” 

“because..” he scratches the stubble on his jaw, gaze looking far off as he stares at his bouncing leg. “guys shouldn't touch you” 

your mouth pops open. you get that, right now, you’re too young for stuff like sex, but being touched? everyone your age had boyfriends, why should you be any different?

It feels a bit like deja vu when you tell him, “m’not staying innocent forever. dating and s-sex are apart of life. you do it, why shouldn’t i?” 

you didn’t really get his whole overprotective bit, armin, who was your brother, wasn’t even this bad. he’d seen happy almost, when you told him about your date with reiner, even, so you really don’t see where eren is coming from. 

erens lip curls in a smirk and he points a finger at you. “that’s why” he says. “you can’t even say the word sex without stuttering. what’ll you do when you see a cock for the first time?” 

your skin heats, hating that he’s right. “I’ll grow out of it” you promise him. 

he huffs a laugh. “sure thing, dork” but then his face gets serious. “you don’t need to change though. sex is lame, i promise.” 

“you seem to have alot of it, so there must be something good about it” 

“for me, yeah” he grins. “but im selfish. most men are, and you deserve better than some highschool tumble with a guy who looks like he can’t find the clit to save his life” his eyes weigh you down. “just keep bein’ you. If i come back from college and hear that you’re the towns tramp stamp, m’ not gonna be happy” 

and that’s that. 

you’re 16 when eren leaves for college. you get to 18 without ever being touched. 

you’re 18 and you wish you hadn’t begged armin to let you come to this stupid bomfire party. it’s just the first time he’s been home in the 2 years since he’d left for college, and you know that means eren is back too, though you have yet to see him. he’s supposed to be at the party though.

you wonder if he’ll react to having seen you after not for awhile, if he’ll look at you different now that you’re grown. you’re wearing a simple pleated white skirt and a pink top, the picture of innocence you’ve always been, never changing. 

being around so many people makes you uncomfortable, you want to cling to armins side, but you don’t want to be annoying so you tell him its okay to leave you. your eyes scan the mass of people on the crowded beach as you nervously hold your solo cup to your chest. 

your eyes stop their nervous skittering when they land on someone familiar. 

college eren is completely different and yet wholly the same since you’d last seen him. he’s wearing a red bomber jacket, over a black t-shirt and skinny jeans, scuffed converse kicking in the sand as he shifts from one foot to the other. you peep tan skin, a hint of a tattoo peeking on his neck and….and black hair. he’d dyed his hair, and, is that jewelry on his ear? rings on his hand?

he’s smiling easily with a pretty blonde and...and reiner. talking to them like old friends as he tilts his head back and laughs, taking a swig from his cup. he’s still chuckling and shaking his head when his eyes flick distractedly over, rove over you and then stop. even from all the way where you are the green of his eyes pins you in place. the warm glow of the bonfire dances across his features, and you see the bastard has a lip ring as well. he takes his time cataloging you and you do him, before his lips tilt, he hands off his drink and he makes his way over to you. 

your whole body is tense with nerves as he gets closer and closer.

when he’s standing in front of you, the smell of his cologne wafts over you. his smile is small and genuine. “hey, pip” 

pip as in short for pipsqueak. you have to fight the urge to grin at him, your cheeks warming pleasantly, even though you groan out loud. “m’ not little anymore” 

“I can see that�� eren eyes rake over you, linger on your bare legs before dragging slowly back up. his eyes feel like a caress and when they meet yours again, you’re already tingly. you’ve never been touched sexually, and just one look from eren has you wet between the legs like nothing. “still dress like you wanna be an extra in a Bratz commercial” 

the tension disputes as you swat his arm. “shut up!! Its a fashion choice, not like you’d know. dressed like a wannabe rockstar” 

“aw, c’mon. you’d be my groupie right?” 

you roll your eyes. “you wish, jaeger”

“mm” he hums softly. “s’cute though. always has been” 

before you can even register the compliment, he’s leaning forward to peek into your cup, swiping it easily from you. “underage drinking, are we? left you for a couple years and you go rebel barbie on me” 

you squawk as he chugs all of your drink back in one gulp, crushing the cup in his fist and tossing it behind him. “ren! I wasn’t even drinking it. It was..” you wave your hand around. “for the aesthetic”

“uh huh” he drones, but then he jerks his chin. “i’ll get you another one to stand around and look pretty with then. C’mon”

cute, pretty. the compliments are gonna make your heart fly out of your chest if he doesn’t let up. you follow him as he leads you to a keg, one that’s a little ways away from the bustle of the party, close to the parking lot where you came in. 

you shyly say ‘thank you’ when he fills you a cup and hands it to you, proceeding to lean back against a car as he goes back to observing you.

to distract yourself you mumble, “you can’t just lean on a strangers car for the sake of being cool” 

the grin is back. “you think im cool?” when you glare at him he rolls his eyes and slaps the hood of the car. “she’s mine, pip. you can untwist your panties” 

you blink at him, “since when did you get a new car? and when did you dye your hair?” 

he looks at you curiously, drumming his fingers. “do you not, like. follow me on instagram?”

you look away, kicking your feet in the sand. hesitantly you admit, “didn’t wanna miss you, so i didn’t look” 

he doesn’t say anything to that. the silence stretches between you, making you nervous. should you not have said that? you guessed it was weird, after all, but it was true. If you’d looked at how erens life was progressing without you there to see it, you’d have cried and been a total lovesick girl about it. 

he finally breaks the silence. “do you have a boyfriend?” 

you look back at him. “uh...no? do you?”

the smirk you wanted ghosts over his lips again, and your eyes are drawn to his lip ring when he tugs it between his teeth. “nah, you know me. unattainable” 

“yeah, i know” you say under your breath, thinking of how eren jaeger had been an unattainable fantasy for you for years. 

“so no current boyfriend or…?” 

“no boyfriends...ever” its embarrassing to admit, but less humiliating than admitting that the reason that was is because you’re in love with your brothers best friend, the very man standing before you now. 

“that’s kinda tragic, pip” eren hops up on the hood of his car and fishes a cigarette out of his pocket. he waves a hand at you, “you’re rockin’ a bod like that and no one’s bagged you? thought you’d be beating down options with a bat by now” 

you watch the smoke that plumes in the air, the way it coils and wisps, and really look at eren. he’s tragically beautiful. his no black hair is boyishly messy, tangled around his head in a dark halo. his face is sharp and tan, his eyes striking and making you feel like you’re sinking into the sand beneath your feet.

you’ve wanted him for so long, it makes you ache. years and years of pushing away men and declining confessions for this man in front of you. you’d never expected anything from him, but you couldn’t move past the fantasy in your head. couldn’t imagine giving any of your firsts to anyone but eren. 

“you told me to stay innocent” its out before you can stop the words, they just fumble out, spilling from your lips and into the air like the smoke.

eren stills, pauses from where he’d been about to take another drag. his expression is unreadable. he flicks the ashes from the cig on the sand, stumps it out under his foot as he hops down. the wind ruffles his dark hair as he just looks and looks and looks at you. 

“yeah?” and oh, jesus, if the rough gravel in his voice doesn’t make your cunt warm immediately. “and you listened?” 

you squeeze your thighs together, an action that draws erens gaze between your legs. to late to back down now, you think, and wet your lips. “y-yeah. I did” 

“you didn’t let any boys touch you while i was gone?” eren continues and he draws closer, creeping towards you.

you shake your head, silent as he comes in front of you. he reaches up to delicately push a strand of hair behind you ear with one of his ring fingers. he keeps it tucked behind your ear as he towers over you, staring you down. “you’re still my innocent little girl, huh?” 

you wonder if this is how it feels to be seduced, seduced by eren jaeger no less. his eyes are warm, and they make you feel warm from where the rest on your eyes, and then, your lips. they part under his gaze, on instinct. “I am, ren. always have been” 

his eyes darken, and the finger behind your ear becomes his whole hand sliding to cup the back of your head, slowly fisitng your hair in it. “shit” he tilts your head up. “you can’t say things like that, baby”

baby, baby, baby. your head swims. you’re on autopilot now, speaking without thinking and you think that’s good because if you were thinking clearly you wouldn't have the courage. “i’ve always been your good girl. no one elses” 

you have one second to hear his exhale before his lips are crashing against yours, and oh. oh, he’s good. you feel the metal of his lip ring against your bottom lip as he slides his tongue in your mouth, eating you up.

“god, you’re sweet” he nips your lip. “knew you would be”

you pant into his mouth, your hands curling on his chest, “y-you’ve thought about me?”

“‘course i did, im not blind” he pulls away. “I just really like my dick and didn’t want it chopped off. armin is scary” 

you know he can be when he wants to be, knows if he saw eren ravishing his little sister against his car right now, body parts would be strewn about. and that’s just from armins verbal warfare.

you look at eren demurely from under your lashes, “i don’t want anything to happen to your…” you trail off at the end.

erens eyebrows climb up his forehead, he presses close to you, tugs you to him. “my…” he prods, eyes glinting with mischief. 

you look away, pouting. “know i can’t say it” you mumble, hating that even now, saying vulgar words is embarrassing for you.

erens chest shakes with a laugh. “you just sucked my tongue down your throat, pip, and you can’t talk about my cock? you’re precious, c’mere.” he starts walking backwards, towards his car. “we gotta be sneaky about it but-” he dips down to kiss you again, once, twice. “i really wanna touch you” 

you gulp, and nod, let him pull you to his car and open the backseat for you, climbing in after you. he shuts and locks it behind him and then he’s facing you, eren jaeger giving you his full attention. looking at you like he wants you, like he’s seeing you, like he wants to do alot of bad things to you.

you place a shaking hand on his shoulder. “im- i dont know what to do..”

you want to impress him, but pretending you’re good at something you’re not won’t do that. eren doesn’t like liars anyway. 

he scoots close to you, pulling you halfway onto his lap until you’re sitting comfortably against him. you bite your lip when you feel the hard ridge of his cock pressing against your ass under your skirt. one of his hands settles on your bare thigh, scooting it up just barely.

“you ever watch porn, sweetheart?” erens breath puffs against your ear and you squirm on top of him. 

you push down your own embarrassment, resigning yourself to be a big girl and be honest. “s-sometimes” 

“yeah?” god, why does just that word turn you on so much? “tell me what kind of stuff you watch when you touch your little pussy” 

his vulgar words go straight to your cunt, at the same time his hand slides up your thighs and slips under your skirt. you close your eyes when you feel the tip of his finger trace over the band of your panties. “they’re always a couple..” you gasp when his hand dips inside, palm cupping over your pussy. “a-and the guy has dark hair..”

“Imagining anyone in particular?” eren teases, but you hear his breath catch at the same time yours does when he sinks one long finger inside. the folds around your slit part seamlessly around the intrusion, sucking his finger in like your pussy wants it there. “so wet, baby. keep talking for me?”

ever the good girl, you push through the tingles and the heat spreading down your legs, the slick sound of his finger fucking in and out of you filling the silent car as you struggle to find words. “s-shes always inexperienced. Its her first time and...and hes gentle” you moan a little when erens thumb comes to swirl around your clit, hips lips finding your neck. he’s teasing another finger at your tight entrance when you swallow another groan and try to keep talking like he’d asked. “he’s gentle but he takes. t-takes what he wants”

“mm” eren hums, tongue sliding against your skin. you gasp when the tip of his ring finger edges in beside the other one, stretching your tight passage around his digits in thorough little twists of his fingers. “that’s real good, baby. you like the sound of that, huh?” 

eren hooks his chin over your shoulder, bunches your skirt around your waist so he can see where your little pussy is clenching and squeezing around him, clit engorged and throbbing for attention. when you don’t answer, he continues, using the slick dripping down your slit, gathering it and then pushing back into you. “I bet” he says, low, husky. “In those videos, he eats her out real nice, yeah? makes sure her little virgin cunt is wet enough to take his cock”

“y-yeah” you pant, holding his wrist but not pulling it away, pushing him more towards you. you’re starting to grind down against the pleasure, walls rhythmically fluttering around his fingers, fucking yourself on them without even knowing it. he curls them, and your head thumps back against his shoulder as you cry out. 

“i’ll give that to you” eren promises, pumping his fingers faster, his other hand coming up to cup one of your tits over your blouse, giving it a squeeze. “gonna take you home after you cream around my fingers and lay you out on your bed” he kisses your cheek, holding you firm against him when you start to twitch and writhe. “lick this little flower open. wanna feel your thighs squeeze my face when i drink the cum from your pussy, get you all loose and wet and then i wanna feel you drip down my dick when i slide it inside”

“oh god, ren!” you jerk in his hold as you feel your orgasm crest over you, gushing down his palm, as you ride his hand, milking it as tingles shoot across your whole body. A milky, creamy film rests around his knuckles when he slides his fingers out of your weeping cunt, still pulsating and twitching from the come down. 

he rubs the excess slick around your folds and clit, rubbing it in. you whimper and he chuckles and kisses your cheek. 

you sag against him, fucked out. eren brushes some hair from your forehead and kisses it. “wannabe punk pounds sweet virgin pussy into her bed” 

you look at him, confused and dazed “huh?”

eren grins at you. “s’ gonna be the name of our porno” 

[juiceinpanties]

10 Things You Hate About Eddie Munson, pt 4

Pairing: Eddie Munson/afab!reader

Rating(s): Chapter: E; Fic: E

Tags: eventual smut, penetrative sex, oral sex (both m and f receiving), fingering, subbie!Eddie, masturbation (m and f), fake dating, van sex, secret relationship, antagonistic relationship to friendship to lovers, casual sex, not-so-casual sex, phone sex, drunk reader

Summary: Your best friend, Nancy Wheeler, is absolutely dying to date Steve Harrington, but her parents have the weirdest rule: Nancy can't date until her friends (e.g., you) do. Nancy begs you to date someone, anyone, and eventually you agree. Meanwhile Steve offers to pay Eddie "the freak" Munson to ask you out. What could possibly go wrong??

Notes: This is, quite obviously, a 10 Things I Hate About You au, with a slight twist. Throw in some fake dating, a 90s setting, and here we are. Thanks to @tonybourdain​ for dragging me in and continuing to enable me. She helped me entirely rewrite the pone scene because it WAS NOT WORKING as it was.

Please note the tags. Smut ahoy!!

Feedback is always welcome and appreciated and PLEASE reblog! Completely blank blogs that just like will be blocked because I'm gonna assume you're a bot. I've been here a long time.

In case you wanna read on Ao3 instead

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

You can’t stop thinking about Eddie.

It’s nearly 10pm. Homework is done, dinner is eaten, excuse is made to parents about why you left school after lunch. And you can’t stop thinking about Eddie Munson and his wide cow eyes and his soft, yummy lips and his big, gentle hands.

It’s like freshman year all over again. At least this time you’re not scribbling his name in your notebook with little hearts everywhere.

You change into your usual sleep uniform of panties and a t shirt and fall back into bed. Maybe you can read for a while, get him off your mind so that you can sleep.

That lasts about 20 minutes. Ugh. This is exactly why you don’t date! You’re far too busy to worry about dumb boys! You toss your book aside and run downstairs for a snack.

You’re on your way back to your room, granola bar in one hand and glass of milk in the other, when you head your private line ringing. You mutter a curse and run to catch it.

“Hello!” you say, breathlessly.

“Hello, did I interrupt something?” It’s Eddie.

You roll your eyes. “Me, running away from you.”

“Haha. Geez you’re so mean.”

“Uh huh. Hang on.” You put the phone down and shut your bedroom door, then climb back into bed and grab the phone again. “Okay, hi. What’s up?”

He grins and plops down on his bed. “I wanted to ask about tomorrow.”

“Hm?” You unwrap your granola bar, but then realize you can’t eat it while talking to him, so you set it aside and sip your milk instead.

“Tutoring? Did you forget?”

“Of course not. I’m just wondering what questions you have.”

He fiddles with the blanket. Maybe this was a mistake. He doesn’t actually have any questions about tomorrow; he just couldn’t stop thinking about you and wanted to hear your voice.

“Uhhh oh! What should I bring?”

You make a face. “Your chem book. Pens and paper. Your brain.”

“Cool, glad you mentioned the last one. Probably woulda forgot.”

You giggle just a little. “Blood flow issues again?”

“Ha,” he says on a breath. “Not right this second, but it’s definitely possible.” He pauses and drums his fingers against his thigh. “So, uh. How’s your evening been?”

“Fine,” you say. “My parents got a call from the school, but I think I calmed them down.”

“Oh shit that’s good. Can’t believe you ruined your perfect attendance record for me.”

“Uh huh, I’m turning into a juvenile delinquent. Cutting class to make out with Eddie Munson in the back of his van.”

"Hey, I just invited you for fries! You kissed me first."

"So I did," you say. "I guess I'm a sucker for pouty lips and big brown eyes."

"My lips are not pouty!"

"Mhmm, sure they are."

"Hmmph," he snorts. "If mine are yours are too. Big, soft, pretty lips. Big, bright eyes." He lets out a long breath. “I can’t stop thinking about you, pretty girl.”

You blush and shift in your seat. Pull the sheet up over your bare legs. His voice is a little low and rougher than usual and it makes you go warm all over. “I was—struggling with something similar,” you admit.

“Oh yeah?” He glances down as a bulge starts to grow in his boxers. Oh geez. Just your voice is doing this! He’s in trouble. He gives it the tiniest stroke with his fingertips.

"Eddie? What was that?" you say as he makes a soft, breathy noise.

"Huh? Oh, uh, nothing." Shit. He's gotta be more careful.

"Hmm." Your bed creaks as you finish off your milk and set the glass aside.

"What was that?" he says with a grin.

"Nothing! I was putting my empty glass on the nightstand."

"Ohhh, I see. Just being a good girl, all tucked in to your bed with your little snack," he says, his voice going rough as he talks. The image is Too Much. He bites off a groan as he rubs his bulge again.

"You okay?" you say. You maybe sort of suspect what that noise was, but surely you're wrong.

"Yeah, yup. I'm good. You?"

You lick your lips. “I want—to kiss you again,” you say. "I mean, if you—would like that. You seemed to like it."

“I’d love that,” he murmurs. “I’d love to be kissing you right now.”

You muffle another giggle. “You could sneak in. You were so good at it last time.”

"That's true! Sneak up to your room, crawl in your bed with you, and...study for chem!"

You laugh and grab your favorite bear from the pile by your bed. Rub your cheek against its soft fur. "Study, huh? What a responsible young man!"

"That's me! Eddie Munson, responsible—young—man." His voice stutters a little as he grips his erection and squeezes.

"Eddie Munson, clearly up to something. What are you doing?"

"I'm—shit. You're suspicious, huh?"

"Mhmm." You run your hand over your chest, across your pebbled nipples. The cotton of your shirt rubs the sensitive skin and you let out a tiny breath.

"Havin' another drink?" he says with a smirk.

"Oh, shut up."

He laughs and pulls his shorts down enough to free his cock. He grips the shaft and runs his thumb over the swollen head. This time he openly lets out a rough breath. "I'll just be quiet," he mumbles. "Just listen to you talk."

"Uh huh," you say. You tug one of your nipples, and then shove your shirt up with an impatient little growl. "As you do what?"

"Nothing. Why, what're you doing?"

"Nothing." You bite your lip around a breath as you continue to play with your extra-sensitive nipples. "What are you working on in chem right now?" you say, trying to keep your voice steady.

"Mmmm." He rubs his thumb up and down against the vein on the underside of his cock. Presses against the spot where the head meets the shaft and circles. "Covalent bonds," he manages.

"Oh good." You give up and press a hand between your thighs. You can feel how wet you are through your cotton panties. "I'm fantastic at covalent bonds."

"Uh huh. I just bet you are." He grinds his palm against the tip of his cock and grips it again to stroke the entire length. "What else are you good at, princess?"

You shiver at his tone, the roughness of it. "Lots of things," you breathe.

"God I bet you are."

You give the tiniest moan and shove your panties aside. You run your fingers up and down your dripping slit, over your slick labia. Then you push your fingers into your mouth and suck the taste of yourself off of them.

"What's in your mouth, baby?" he murmurs. "Don't lie."

"My fingers," you whisper.

"Oh? They get all sticky? Something nice and sweet on them?"

"Uh huh!" You feel drunk, dizzy, and if you don't come soon you're going to lose your mind.

He licks his hand and grips his cock again. Gives it several rough tugs before settling in for a slow, easy stroke. "I'd love to taste something sticky and sweet," he says. "Something soft and pink."

He smirks at the sound of your little whimper. Fuckin A he wants you. "Bet you have somethin' like that," he murmurs. "Bet it's just for me."

"Uh huh. A nice yummy snack." You circle your fingers around your clit and bite hard on your lip. "You have anything for me?"

"Oh yeah," he breathes. He strokes faster. "God do I have somethin' for you."

"Good," you say as you wiggle your hips and thrust two fingers into your cunt. "I want it, Eddie. Want to—want—to help you with your—bonds."

"Yeah," he grunts. "Molecules and shit."

"Periodic table!" you gasp as you fuck yourself. You squeeze the phone between your shoulder and chin so you can use your other hand on your clit.

"Gonna study so hard," he says. He's bucking his hips, fucking up into his hand, squeezing his shaft and stroking over the head in desperation. "So fuckin' hard, princess."

"Good! That's so good, so good, Eddie! Love it when you study hard, love it when you're such a good student for me!" You can't hold back a whine as you circle your clit. You're close, so fucking close.

"Gonna ace that test just for you. Make a big fat A just for my pretty little tutor." He's gonna explode any second. "Gonna—fuck—you're so fuckin' good!"

"Eddie! Love that, so proud, so good!!" You come hard, nearly drop the phone, moaning and whimpering with shaking thighs and throbbing cunt.

"Fuck!" he gasps and can't hold back another second. He makes a mess, painting his tummy with hot, thick come and whimpering your name over and over.

You're both quiet except for your rough panting. You lick your fingers clean and clear your throat. He grabs a towel and dabs at his stomach.

"So," you finally say. "See you at school tomorrow?"

"Yep. You want a ride?"

"No, Nancy'll take me. But if I could get a ride to your place?"

"Sure, no prob. Then I'll run you home in time for dinner. After the tutoring."

"Such a nice boy. Goodnight, Eddie."

"Night, princess. Sweet dreams."

"You too," you say, then hang up. You fall back against your pillows with a soft groan. Okay well THAT was a thing. An incredibly hot, delicious, amazing thing. You get up to grab fresh panties and head to the bathroom. You think maybe now you'll be able to sleep like a baby.

You only see Eddie in passing until school's over the next day. You're standing outside talking to Nancy when he cruises up. He stubs out his cigarette and grins. "Hey, Nancy. Hey, you ready to go?" he says to you.

"Yep. Got your chem book?"

He pulls his book bag around and pats it. "Plus a notebook and THREE pens. I'm as prepared as a goddamn Boy Scout!"

You can't help but giggle. "Come on, Foz. Let's see how much covalent bond info we can shove into that brain of yours before the clock strikes 6:30." You wave at Nancy, who's grinning like the cat who ate the canary, and follow Eddie to his van.

He opens the door for you, as always, then hurries around to his side and jumps in. "I picked up some Diet Coke," he says. "I know that's your drink."

"Yeah, it is. Thanks."

"Sure. I also, uh. Cleaned up a little. Wayne and I aren't the neatest pair."

He seems nervous. You reach over and give his skinny thigh a little squeeze. "It's okay, Grove. I'm sure you did great. I'll be there to tutor you, not critique your interior decor."

"Right!" he says. He gives you a quick grin. "And I really do need to pass this test."

"You will," you say. You pat his leg and pull your hand back. "It's next week, right? We can study today and maybe sometime over the weekend. I know you've got Hellfire tomorrow."

"You know I wasn't bullshitting when I asked you to join. You can, if you want. We'd love another member."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Your mouth quirks. "Do I get a shirt?"

"I've got one at my place I can give you. It's clean and everything!"

"Oooo, you spoil me!" You grin at each other before his eyes flick back to the road. "Sure, I'll come check it out," you say. "I play a high elf healer. Rhiannon. After the Fleetwood Mac song."

You wait for some judgmental or snide comment, but he just nods. "Pretty good band," he finally says.

"Wow. How much did that cost you?"

He lets out a rusty breath. "A lot, babe. Not gonna lie. That one was hard. Though it coulda been worse."

You giggle and settle back in your seat. "I'm proud of you."

You chat casually the rest of the ride, almost like friends. Neither of you mentions last night. It's like it never happened. Part of you wonders if he regrets it, but you decide that no, he's just waiting for you to bring it up first. He doesn't want to pressure you since you made "no touching, no kissing, no bullshit" your very clear rule for this thing you two have going.

Last night definitely counts as "bullshit."

You get to his place and he grabs a can of root beer and a can of Diet Coke from the fridge before leading you back to his room. You take a moment to study his posters (it's only fair; he's seen yours) and notice the fact that there are clean sheets on his bed. Wow, he really did clean up.

"Have a seat," he says. "Sorry I don't have a desk or anything."

"It's okay," you say and drop down onto his bed. "I think I can handle it." You kick off your shoes and scoot back, dragging your backpack with you.

He hesitates a moment before climbing up next to you so that you're sitting side by side against the headboard. "Okay, um. Chapter 3," he says as he pulls out his textbook.

You grab your book and notebook and flip open to the relevant chemistry notes. "Okay, first you explain to me what covalent bonds are."

His forehead creases and he haltingly explains the concept. He actually has it down pretty well.

You get through bonds quickly and move on to other topics on the test, and before you know it two hours have passed.

"Shit," he says with a glance at his watch. He scrubs his face with both hands. "My brain hurts."

You pat his head, grinning. "Poor brain. Needs a break, I think."

"Uh huh. Want a snack? I can make some popcorn."

"Yeah, that'd be good. We can quit for the day, if you want. Put a movie on for our last few hours. There's a point of diminishing returns with all this."

His eyes crinkle as he smiles at you. "You were readin' my mind, princess. Movies are stored under there," he says, pointing. "Pick one out while I go make the popcorn."

He hops up and you crawl off the bed to check out his movie collection. Slashers and porn. Porn and slashers. Hm. Nothing super surprising, except maybe The Never-Ending Story. But that's a classic.

Since it's only a few weeks away, you decide on Halloween and push the tape into the VCR. You pause it and put your books away before settling back on his bed.

He comes back with a huge bowl of popcorn and two fresh sodas. "Hey," he says. "What'd you pick?"

"Debbie Does Dallas," you say, straight-faced.

"What? That's not even—" He scowls as he catches on. "Very funny. Jerk."

"That's a lot of porn, Munson."

He shrugs and plops down beside you. "I'm a growing boy. I have needs."

"Uh huh. For tits and serial killers, apparently."

"Nothin' wrong with tits. And serial killers are built into the fabric of American society. Did you know there's something like 50 serial killers active in the US at any given time?"

You look at him, wide-eyed. "Are you serious?"

"Yep. And, I mean, Hawkins is...well."

"Weird," you say.

"To put it mildly. Anyway, the horror movies are kind of an escape. They're so ridiculous." He hits play on the remote. "Take this one, for instance," he says, recognizing the opening credits. "How many different ways does Michael Myers die in just this one movie? But he always comes back."

You reach for some popcorn and munch on it thoughtfully. "The futility of fighting against the inevitable existential pull of 20th-century ennui?" you say.

"Yeah, that, and also you can't trust in institutions. The cops are rarely helpful in slasher movies. The government or anyone like that never is."

"Adults aren't usually at all. Kids and teenagers have to fight the monster."

"Exactly. Kids at summer camp, kids having nightmares, kids babysitting. At the end of the day you can only trust your friends to have your back, and even then they might get stabbed," he says. His expression is intense, his eyes big and bright, and you realize you could sit here and talk movies with him all afternoon.

You lean over, grab his shirt, and pull him in for a kiss. He sits back in surprise. "What was that for?"

"Nothing. Continue."

His mouth opens. Closes. Opens again. "I lost my train of thought."

"Oh," you say. You take the bowl of popcorn and set it aside. "Oops." You crawl into his lap and push him back against the headboard with one hand and grip his hair with the other. He stares up at you, astounded, and his big eyes flutter closed as you lean down to kiss him again.

"So," you murmur between kisses. "Do anything fun last night?"

His hands run up and down your back and he nips at your lips with his. "Chatted on the phone with this hot girl I know."

"Lucky girl." You pull his chin up and kiss him hungrily, your tongue sliding into his mouth. He moans and moves his to meet it. His hands go still as he hangs onto you and you slowly start to rock against him.

"Don't get hard," you breathe against his mouth.

He lets out a stuttering laugh. "I'm only human, babe. You doing—that—is gonna lead to a hard dick every time."

"Mmmm I should stop, then. We have a movie to watch."

He bites your lower lip. Tugs. "Whatever you want, princess. I am at your service."

Oh. You like that. "Hm," you say as you slide off his lap. "Maybe if you're a good boy I'll suck your cock during the movie."

He sits up. "I'll be good! I swear! So good! The best!"

You giggle and kiss his cheek. "Watch the movie, sweet boy. I guarantee you'll enjoy it."

[jungkxook]

—make it right. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: punk!jungkook / band au / exes-to-lovers au / angst / smut

⟶ words: 11,528

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

⟶ warnings: jungkook has a tongue piercing, oral sex because of said tongue piercing (fem!recieving), more tattooed and long haired jungkook to feed my fantasies, angsty pining clingy sex, also just general soft sex, crying sex lol, riding, creampie, slight praise kink themes, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: here’s my one year blog anniversary present inspired by the first ever fic i posted on here! yes this is technically a sequel to melomaniac but not really. sort of like an alternate universe to the alternate universe but you don’t really have to read one or the other to understand the other. so, i hope you enjoy!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

You swear you’re over Jungkook.

In fact, you would even go so far as to say you hate him ━ but you know that’s not true. It’s just that it’s much easier to believe that if you tell yourself you hate him enough times, then maybe you’ll find a way to fix your broken heart, and the pain in his absence won’t hurt so bad. 

As it turns out, it hardly works.

Seven months since he had left you to travel the world with his band, basking in promised eternal glory and fame and money, and yet even miles and oceans away from where you stand, he’s all you can think about. There’s a myriad of reasons as to why trying to forget him was an useless endeavour. The hardships of trying to forget a cherished life-long friendship you had grown accustomed to was one of them, and those lingering happy moments you had shared with him as lovers however fleeting they may be was another. But then there was the ever present fact that Jungkook and his band were so quick to rise to fame, their names far exceeding the seemingly cramped and small city you had both reigned from, and suddenly the boy you had known forever, and everything special that makes him, was now being shared to hundreds of millions of adoring fans.

You were certain it was all Jungkook ever wanted, the added attention and the pretty girls fawning over him, because he had always been a casanova in many ways despite always promising you that you were the only one for him even before you had started dating. You had told him it wouldn’t work ━ I trust you as my best friend, you had said in a moment of despair, grasping at straws. I don’t have to worry about you breaking my heart. But I don’t know if I can trust you as my boyfriend ━ far before he and his band had been signed to their record label and paraded around the world, when they were still practicing in rented storage units and friends’ garages and rundown local studios, playing gigs anywhere and everywhere from dingy bars to college campus parties, supporting him every step of the way if only because he was your best friend, and he had been so persistent that it would work, chasing after you even when you tried to push him away. I would treat you right, he had urged so ardently late one drunken night after stumbling back to his apartment. I already practically worship the ground you walk on.

And how could you ━ who had already been so madly in love with him but scared of him breaking your heart, scared of losing him, scared of this happening ━ ever resist him? He made love seem so easy, and maybe that’s because it was when you were with him. But now, he was no longer yours; now, he was the world’s, and you were nothing but a mere hazy fragmented memory in his mind, long forgotten, watching from the side of the stage much like you always had from the very start of it all.

“Hey, isn’t this that band?” Jihyo’s voice bursts through your wandering trail of thoughts.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, finding yourself not in the arms of an ex-lover or stuck in a bygone time of months past, but in the cosy and amiable café nearest your campus and frequented by a plethora of your fellow peers. You’re fortunate to find that your other group mates have also become sidetracked, trailing far from the assignment you were all supposed to be working on. Dahyun is perched beside you, chin nestled in the palm of her hand and elbow propped on the table as she scrolls aimlessly through her phone; Jihyo and Taeyong were sat across from you, gossiping fervently about some mutual friend of theirs. You hadn’t known the pair long enough to know much about them or the tragic affair of whoever Mina is for accepting her cheating boyfriend back for the second time, and, likewise, they seem oblivious to your own self-wallowing once you realize what’s caught Jihyo’s sudden attention.

You hear his voice first.

It’s easy to discern, even after all this time and even amongst the muffled chatter and clanking of porcelain and cutlery of those seated around you. The sweet, velvety lull of Jungkook singing throughout the café from the overhead speakers, pretty upbeat melodies and synths mixed with wistful words making up the song he had written for you before he left, before the fame and fans, as a way of telling you how he truly felt about you. It feels like a dream, and maybe that’s because it is, bringing you instantly to another time, and another world. You still remember him showing you the unfinished song for the very first time, curled up next to him in his living room, listening to him serenade you to sleep, humming in places where he hadn’t formed the words yet, strumming along with his acoustic. It was yours and his until he showed the world almost a year ago on their very first show at the Seoul Olympic Stadium in front of thousands of people, as a final desperate act of proclaiming his love for you after a disastrous attempt at a first date that he had begged from you. Just one, he pleaded. To prove it to you that I can be a good boyfriend. And if things don’t work out, we can pretend it never happened and just go back to being us. That’s a promise.

At the time, you had treasured the song. It was beautiful in every way, his love transcending his words and enveloping your heart in pure warmth.

Now, you hate it.

It’s the third time you’ve heard the song that day. Despite avoiding it as best as you could, it seems to find a way to make itself known in your daily life like the nagging nuisance it is. Because fate seemed to enjoy its sadistic behaviour of having the song be one of the main reasons Jungkook and his band had skyrocketed to fame in such a short span of time and, suddenly, Jungkook disappearing from your life meant little when his voice remained as a constant reminder of what could have been, what couldn’t have been, and what fell apart at the already fragile seams. And what was a proclamation of love to you turned into nothing but a fabled tale of lovers. You wonder if people who hear it ever think about where they’ve gone, or who they’ve turned into, or if their love was made to last. You wonder, above all else, if people ever think about it at all.

“Beyond the Scene, right?” Taeyong asks. He seems just as animated to be discussing the song as Jungkook’s voice fades into Jimin’s.

“God, I love this song. It’s so dreamy,” Jihyo lets out a longing sigh as she slumps against her seat. “Y’know, I’m seeing them this Friday. It’s their first time being back in, like, five months.”

“Dude, I’ve been trying to get tickets to see them for months now!” Taeyong gaps incredulously. “How’d you score them?”

“A friend of a friend knows the guy who plays keys,” Jihyo says. “The cute mysterious one.”

“Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah━”

As the pair dive into a passionate discussion about the boys and their first full-length album released under their recently-signed-to label from Columbia Records, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Dahyun almost immediately straightens up, eyes flickering from the pair to you and back again. You’re both fortunate she’s there, having known your past with Jungkook, and despise it a little more, wondering what her pitying gaze must mean.

“Hey, Dahyun. Y/N.” Taeyong’s voice grabs your attention now. “What do you think of these guys? Didn’t some of them used to go to this school?”

“Yeah, I had a few classes with their drummer.” Dahyun waves her hand airly, swiftly brushing over the fact that she did far more than have a “few classes” with any of the boys but was also one of their closest friends. “I think they’re great━” She glances sideways at you one more time. “Hey, maybe we should get back to the assignment now━”

“I had a class with their lead guitarist, Jungkook, last year,” Jihyo continues, her excitement getting the best of her as Dahyun’s voice drowns out in the foreground.

“No way!” This dubious exclamation comes from Taeyong.

“I tried talking to him once but he totally blew me off,” Jihyo says. “Which is fine, because he’s still hot. If I had known he was gonna be a famous rockstar, I’d have tried asking him out a second time━”

Suddenly, you feel sick.

It’s odd to hear two strangers discuss Jungkook’s life while you’re seated across from them, as if you’re nothing more than an outsider to whoever Jungkook has become now. But you can’t stand it anymore. You’re certain you look insane to them when you push your seat back abruptly, the metal legs screeching against the floor as you stand.

“Whoa, what’s wrong━?” Taeyong starts to ask but you’re gone before he can finish the question, murmuring a half-hearted excuse about how you forgot you needed to be somewhere.

You’ve rounded on your heel and have fled from the café before anyone can try to stop you, with nothing but Jungkook’s mellifluous voice fading in the distance as he croons aloud for you in a time long since passed.

You don’t care. Besides, you’re sure Dahyun will cover for you.

The worst part of it all? The dreadful realization that sinks into your mind, and into your heart, beckons the question: who’s to say you aren’t a stranger now to Jungkook’s life altogether?

“So, what are you trying to say?”

You remember the moment so clearly despite wanting nothing more than to forget it all, and the pain associated with it. Because even from then you knew you would always be in love with Jungkook, but you couldn’t have him. It’s hard to remember whose fault it is this time that caused the sudden fight, though random little arguments had been a frequent occurrence nearing the end of your one year relationship more often than not. You hate blaming it all on him, because you were certain you were at fault too. Maybe a little bit wary at times, a little selfish, wanting him all to yourself. Even though you knew he has an obligation to the world, it still hurt when he started making promises he couldn’t keep, blowing you off for soundchecks, or spontaneous interviews, or record label meetings. More and more you could feel the both of you drifting apart, maybe without even meaning for it to happen.

It was just that Jungkook was destined for a lifetime of greatness, and you were starting to think that meant without you.

You had stopped him late one night after he had stumbled home from his and the band’s nightly studio sessions as they worked through recording their debut album as a signed band. Lately, it seemed as if that was all that Jungkook cared about, and while you knew the band meant the world to him and you would always support him in his endeavour, you couldn’t help but feel lesser in comparison. That, and you hated seeing the boy overwork himself to the point of near exhaustion every night if only because their label was so adamant about having the album finished before the month ended.

“You want to, what? Break up?” Jungkook asked, this time more incredulously and less dumbfounded as he had initially been. He didn’t believe you just yet, but you couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking anymore at that point.

“I just figured we could use some time apart,” You had suggested awkwardly. “Just a break.”

He had let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. “Y/N, this is insane.”

You flinched. You remember having to look away, refusing to meet his suddenly sorrowful look. “Is it, Jungkook? I mean… Look at us. We’re falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually. We tried to make it work but maybe we’re on different paths now.”

“But I love you,” Jungkook gasped, exasperated. “Where is this coming from?”

“And I don’t want to have to tie you down for the rest of your life,” You continued on stubbornly, “or make you think you owe me your whole life just because you said you fell in love with me when you were thirteen━”

This seemed to catch Jungkook’s attention. He grew rigid in front of you, a look of wary agony contorting his face. “Is that what this is then? You don’t love me anymore?”

You didn’t respond immediately, instead the dread of the night seemed to finally catch up with you and you had grimaced. You had loved him even then, but the thought of voicing it aloud when you were supposed to be breaking up with him didn’t feel right. The tears began to swell in your throat and blur your vision. Jungkook must have noticed, because he always seems to spot the small things about you that even you miss. Almost instantly, the sour look on his face softened and his gaze turned helpless, with those big puppy-dog eyes that you’ve always been too fond of. He closed the distance between you at once, warm hands grabbing at your own.

“You do.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He knew you were still in love with him ━ or maybe he’d just been hopeful. “I know you do. So then why are you breaking up with me?” 

He let go of one of your hands to reach up to your face, calloused fingers gentle and soft against your cheek as they brushed away a rogue tear you hadn’t realized had fallen from your lashes. For a moment, you had let yourself get carried away. You leaned into the comforting heat and touch of his palm as he cradled your face.

“Don’t━” You choked out after a moment of silence, hating when your voice splintered into a sob. “Don’t touch me. Please, Jungkook. You’re only going to make this harder.”

His hands sprang away from your face almost at once, as if he had just been burnt by scalding fire. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms but he had refrained the urge somehow, miraculously. So, instead, he grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists as his arms fell limp at his sides.

“Then don’t do this. Don’t walk away,” Jungkook pleaded desperately. “I don’t understand. If you love me still, why are you making this harder for yourself?”

“Because what if that’s all we have in common anymore?” You asked wretchedly. “We care about each other. We always will. But you’re focused on the band, and this is my last year of school. Maybe we just need time to focus on ourselves.”

Jungkook blinked once. Twice. His stare was suddenly devoid of any emotion as he gawked at you, but you could tell that he was hurting. It was there in the fluttering of nerves in his jaw; there, in the way his lips pulled taut into a thin line; there, in the way even you could see his eyes begin to shimmer with wet tears that he unabashedly displays without trying to wipe away.

“So that’s it?” he asked. “After everything we’ve been through. You’re just gonna end it, like that? Y/N, come on━”

His hands had found purchase on your waist, and you had lingered for a moment too long; then, fumbling, he tried to grab delicately at your face, probing you to look at him. But you couldn’t. The moment you met his wounded gaze, you shook your head furiously. You had slithered out of his grasp, slipping through the seams of his fingers just like that.

“I━” You paused. “This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, Jungkook. How can you not see it? I’ve felt so alone these past few months. It’s like you’re here but not entirely. Your mind is always somewhere else, always thinking about the band and never about us.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he had asked hotly. “The band is my everything.”

“And what am I?” You asked. The question only mildly offended you, a shot right to your heart. Because if the band was his everything, what were you in comparison? “A distraction until you get everything you want? I can’t keep being that.”

“No!” he protested. “You’re not a distraction. You’re━” He stopped himself short, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep pinning this all on me. You just don’t trust me, do you? You never did. Always thinking I’m with some other girl when I’m not with you━”

“That’s not true,” You admonished.

“Isn’t it?” Jungkook retaliated.

“I don’t want to hear it,” You had said at once. Your tone was final, a decisive ending to your argument with him. “My mind’s already been made up, Jungkook. I don’t think we should see each other again until we sort all this out ━ or, until you sort out whatever your priorities are.”

Jungkook’s stare had hardened, a frown deeply etching into his face. He had straightened up then, perplexed and upset with your standoffish demeanour, as if thinking this surely meant nothing to you. But little did he know this would become one of the hardest decisions you would have to make.

“Fine,” he said rigidly. “If that’s how it is, then I’m gone. You’ll never have to see me again.”

You hadn’t known at the time just how terribly you had messed up ━ neither had Jungkook. He had left before you could stop him, or before either of you could change your minds. Because nothing’s worse than a broken heart, blinded by stubborn and defensive rage. Accusatory fingers and blaming him or you wouldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed, and ending things seemed to only make it worse, months of lonely heartache without Jungkook to further prove just that…

The last time you spoke to Jungkook, you told him you never wanted to see him again ━ or, at least, that seems to be how he interpreted it.

Now, you were standing in the midst of his domain, surrounded by everyone in his public sphere of friends and colleagues and acquaintances, and there was certainly no way of escaping him.

You were starting to think you’re losing mind, because you’d truly have to be insane to have worked up the nerve to agree to go with Dahyun to a party being held celebrating the band’s recent tremendous success and headlining their first world tour. Their manager, Jin, had personally reached out to you and Dahyun, calling you as a means of asking you to attend, though you had given him a timid and dismissive response at first. If it hadn’t been for Dahyun purposely and almost quite literally dragging you out under the premise that “even if you don’t want to see Jungkook, you at least owe it to the boys to go,” you don’t think you’d even be here. But while you didn’t know where you stood with Jungkook anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still proud of him or the rest of the boys. It just became harder to bask in their success with them when you had gone from knowing every detail of their lives, of Jungkook’s life, to knowing only what you could hear from gossiping fans around you, or plastered in tabloids, or all over any form of social media.

The party is held at some sort of fancy lavish restaurant, the entire back room rented out by the band’s record label and management, and is filled with dozens of people you don’t know. Fortunately, you and Dahyun aren’t left alone for very long, as an elated Jin and Jimin, the appointed lead singer, bustle their way through the crowd to you almost as soon as you arrive, leaving very little time for you to feel so awkward that you consider running away again. Jimin, in all his spritely and extravagant blue haired disposition, wastes no time in engulfing you both in a comforting hug as if months hadn’t passed since you’ve last seen them.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Jin smiles from over Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s been forever,” Jimin affirms.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dahyun says. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t forget about us, considering you’re big rockstars now.”

“Rockstar is a bit of an overstatement.” An effortlessly charming smirk unfurls on Jimin’s face, which seems to immediately dazzle Dahyun. “Besides, we could never forget you. Hey, come with me to find the guys. I think we could all use some time to catch up━”

He places his hand on the small of Dahyun’s back as he guides her away, leaving you with Jin. A moment of silence passes, in which time you can feel the boy’s eyes lingering on you.

“He knows you’re coming tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jin says carefully, treading over his words lightly. It’s too painfully obvious who he’s talking about, though you’re fortunate he doesn’t bother mentioning Jungkook’s name anyway. “There’s no point in hiding. I think you should talk to him.”

“I━” You trail off uselessly, your voice croaking. Fearing an imminent breakdown, you shake your head. Then, holding your chin a little higher, Jin’s startled to hear you pretend as if he hadn’t said anything. “It really is good to see you guys again. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

And you’re gone once more before he can say anything else. On your lonesome, you find refuge at the bar, though you only order water because you’re certain you won’t be able to stomach anything stronger. You don’t know how long you spend there, blankly staring at a spot on the wall as your mind wanders everywhere and yet nowhere at all until━

“Y/N?”

There it is again. The familiar sound of his voice, only this time it’s much more attainable, closer to your world and not elsewhere so high in the clouds like a hopeful dream. You brace yourself before turning to face him.

This close, Jungkook looks breathtakingly and painfully beautiful.

As always, he’s adorned in all black, the first few buttons of the silky blouse he’s wearing left undone so that it teases the exposed flesh of his collarbones and the rose tattoo that inks his chest, the thorny stems crawling up the side of his neck just below his ear, accompanied by a pair of leather pants. He’s the same as ever. The same imperfect tattoos that decorate his fingers and arms that you’ve always loved, the same ring-clad fingers painted a chipped black, the same hoop accentuating his button nose. His hair is still his natural dark ebony color (something he’s seemed to stick with much more as of late despite dyeing it wild colours throughout his past), only it’s a little longer than you last remembered, and the sides of his head are shaved in the form of an undercut. You’re foolishly surprised to find he still looks the same, but almost a year away from someone can both change nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jungkook…” You want to say something more, but your words fall short.

It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or upset at seeing you there, but you don’t think he’s either, and you have an inkling of a thought that he purposely sought you out amongst the many faces. Instead, he looks hesitant, apprehensive, as if dreading how you’ll respond to see him. As if you’ll yell at him, push him away. You do neither, fortunately.

Just when the dense silence starts to become almost unbearable, Jungkook clears his throat. “I━ Wow… You look great.”

You blink once, a flustered blush warming your face that you hope he doesn’t notice. “Oh. Thank you. You do, too.”

His eyes flicker over your presence as he nods absentmindedly. Then, he’s offering you a pretty smile, soft and sweet in nature. No malice, or ill-intent. “Um━ How have you been?”

You hate this. You hate the awkward pauses, the prolonged periods of silence. A year ago, even despite knowingly pining for one another, your moments alone with Jungkook were never so terrible. He always found a way to say something cheekily flirtatious even when you were just friends, if only because he knew it would make you blush and giggle because, no matter how many times you would roll your eyes or nudge his sides, he also knew you secretly loved it. All the inside jokes, the milestones shared together, the ardent fleeting touches ━ where did it all go? And while you were both noticeably trying to maintain the peace and pleasantry between one another, it didn’t feel the same. It felt forced, fake. Distracted.

“I’ve been good,” You lie. “How about you? Actually, don’t answer that━” You let out a breathless chuckle. “You’ve clearly been doing amazing. I mean, your album, and your world tour. And tomorrow you’ve got a big day with the hometown show. I heard it sold out in the first ten minutes.”

“Something like that,” Jungkook says modestly. “It’s been kind of crazy. Namjoon says it’s good, but I miss━ I just miss a lot of how it used to be. The slow pace. I dunno. The quick burn up is quick to burn out, right?”

“Maybe,” You admit. “But I think you’ve all got it in you. You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Enjoy it while you’re in it. You deserve it, Jungkook.”

His stare softens as it meets yours. “Thanks.”

Another beat of silence passes. He looks as if he’s warring with himself, as if he’s fighting the urge to say something more, gnawing at his lower lip, brows knitting together.

“Yo, Jeon!” A foreign voice from amongst the crowd beckons aloud abruptly for the boy.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder swiftly in search of the source, then waves his hand as if to motion he’ll be there later. Then, he turns back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t keep you,” You say. “I know you’re busy.”

“But━” He stops himself, his jaw clamping shut. Changing his mind, he decides to ask hopefully, “Will you be at the show tomorrow?”

“Of course.” The affirmation seems to relieve him, even though it’s a spontaneous decision made by you on the spot. Before this moment, you hadn’t been so sure you could go.

“Promise?”

You can’t help but shake your head, a chuckle slipping past your lips at the innocent boyish question he asks. “Yes, Jungkook.”

His smile widens a little more, however sheepish it may be. “Then can you promise me one more thing?”

“What?” You quirk a brow, intrigued to say the least.

“Will you drop by the hotel we’re staying at tomorrow morning, so I can take you out for a coffee? Just to catch up. It’s been a while,” he says timidly. Then, feeling a little stupid for being so bold, scrambles to explain himself. “And no pressure if you don’t want to. I just thought━”

You can’t possibly say no. Not when it comes to Jungkook, all your past struggles seemingly vanishing without a trace. “I’d like that a lot, Jungkook.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Then he’s positively beaming, his self-indulgent grin making your own heart flutter in your chest. When he leaves your side that night, you find yourself looking forward to the future perhaps a little too optimistically. But how terrible could grabbing coffee with your ex be, if you had survived the first wretched encounter?

So, in the morning when you wake, there’s not a stutter in your step or a wavering flicker of your confidence as you make your way to the Four Seasons hotel Jungkook had told you to from the night before. In fact, a selfish part of you almost thinks that maybe things will start to look up. That maybe you and Jungkook can finally make amends. That maybe you never had a reason to fear Jungkook breaking your heart if he made such an effort to heal it.

The hotel itself is one of the most luxurious ones in Seoul, a considerable contrast from when the boys were slumming it on friends’ couches and in their run-down van touring the country. The room Jungkook tells you to meet him at is one of the hotel’s grand suites, located on the higher levels of the building. But as soon as you reach the landing and have begun making your way towards the designated door, it flings open and a pretty girl comes stumbling out. She’s giggling at something that has just happened inside, her hair a dishevelled mess which she ruffles up in an attempt to fix it. She’s adorned in a pretty little dress, the skirt of which is hiked a little higher up and one strap falling down her shoulder, as she clings her shoes and bag to her chest. She smiles at you on the way past, though she’s too far gone in her own little daze that you wonder if she even notices you at all.

But you certainly notice her, and, all at once, your reverie of him and what could be comes crashing to the ground once more.

Maybe you should have stayed, should have waited for Jungkook to let him explain, but you were too afraid to hear an answer you weren’t looking for. You try desperately not to imagine Jungkook loving someone else. You try not to think about him holding her the same way he held you, his lips finding purchase on some other girl. But by trying to avoid the thought, it beckons the unwarranted memories of how it felt to be loved all over by him once upon a time. You wonder how many girls he’s hooked up with in your time apart, and the overwhelming sense of regret washes over you.

You don’t bother to wait. You know fleeing is the easiest option rather than facing your fear, but you’re far too timid of rejection again. Instead, even before you can approach Jungkook’s hotel room and knock on the door, you turn on your heels and run.

You’re long gone by the time Jungkook comes to the door, prying it open in search of you on a whim. When he doesn’t see you, he glances up and down the hallway but to no avail. Namjoon comes slinking past inside then in his own disoriented haze, having just woken up from moments ago when the girl he had taken back to their room the night before left. Even then, Jungkook had warned the rhythm guitarist against bringing the girl back, pointing out the fact that they had much to do today ahead of their concert. Namjoon had promised it wouldn’t be long, that she would be gone in the morning, and Jungkook was fortunate enough that the suite had two separate bedrooms on the opposite ends of one another so that Jungkook didn’t have to hear whatever it was the pair were doing in the other.

“Did Mina leave?” Namjoon asks through a yawn, digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. When Jungkook nods, a sliver of a reminiscent smug grin tugs at Namjoon’s lips. “You missed out, Jungkook.”

The cheeky quip is met with a roll of Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m sure I’ll survive. You know I’m not like that.”

Like that━ As in midnight hook-ups and cheap thrills alike. He tried it once, far ago when you had first broken up with him, on a drunken spur of a moment as a way of healing the anguish in his heart. It hadn’t worked then; he assumed it would never work.

Namjoon seems to understand this immediately. He gives Jungkook a look that the boy doesn’t notice. “Well… is Y/N here yet?”

“No. But I’m sure she’ll be here,” Jungkook grimaces. He hopes. “Something probably came up.”

Namjoon clasps a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, humming aloud, “Good luck, dude.”

But you never arrive, even though Jungkook waits for most of the morning, nervous eyes flickering to the door at every commotion outside, running to check only to see room service delivering breakfast or concierge showing guests to their rooms. He has no choice but to give up on the thought of you coming when Jin knocks on their door, prompting the boys to get a start on their day. Interviews and soundcheck await, but how could he possibly go on with his life without knowing what happened to you?

Which is why you stay on his mind for the rest of the day, distracting him in every aspect, mixing up his words when he’s in the midst of his interview, tripping up on stage as the boys set up and begin to rehearse. As the hours wane down to just an hour before the show, the thought of performing in front of thousands of fans starts to make him nervous and he doesn’t know why. He’s done this countless times before, almost nightly during the tour, so what stops him now? Of course he knows the answer, had grown all too accustomed to the feeling the first few months in which the break up had been so recent. It would always be about you.

But just before the show starts, Jungkook is making his way backstage from the greenroom, where the band had been waiting, to the stage. Fiddling with his in-ear piece, he almost doesn’t notice you and Dahyun weaving your way through the roadies and sound tech, being guided by Jin to the pit on the side of the stage where only family and friends are allowed. You don’t see him, and there’s a split moment where he thinks he should just let you go, until he doesn’t.

As he makes his way to you, the tour manager for the band intervenes part way, shouting out to the boy. “Where are you going? We’re on in five, Jungkook!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back━” He waves the manager off as politely as he can, wasting no time to chase after you. He calls out your name, though it drowns out in the sound of the music being blasted through the speakers of the arena and the screaming fans. “Y/N, wait up!”

He’s relieved when he sees you stop in your tracks, turning to face him as Dahyun and Jin become lost in the chaos of the backstage. He comes to stand just before you, smiling breathlessly at you, unaware of the way your shoulders tense at the sight of him.

“You didn’t show up this morning,” he says as a way of greeting, his voice a curious prob. “What happened?”

You try desperately not to get lost in his big beautiful eyes, laced with such hope. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, looking away. “Something came up.”

It’s then that Jungkook senses something is wrong. You’re upset with him, though he can’t tell why. Aside from the obvious rift in your relationship that had initially split you two up, you had been so pleasant to see him the night before. But he doesn’t give up just yet. “Well… you’re here now.”

You meet his gaze with your own hardened one. “For the boys.”

A shot right to his heart almost makes Jungkook gasp for air. He flinches, and then his stare softens, and you wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, out of fear that you might just relapse into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He closes the distance between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you, but refrains with much difficulty. There’s dozens of things that could be wrong, and he braces himself for your retaliation. “You didn’t want to come, did you?”

When you don’t respond, but also don’t stray from his side, Jungkook hurries to speak again if only to fill the tense silence.

“Look, last night… Maybe it was just me, but last night seemed like things were okay,” he says. “Was I wrong to feel that way?”

“Jungkook…”

“Please, just let me know,” he begs. “Because you’re all I can think about these days, it’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on, but the reason I wanted to see you this morning was because I hate how things ended between us, and I wanted to tell you…” He swallows nervously as he trails off uncertainly. “I wanted to tell you that I’m still in love with you. And I can’t get you out of my head. These months away from you made me realize that I━”

Suddenly, you’re shaking your head and he knows you don’t believe him. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets saying it, if only because they seem to enliven you. Now, you push yourself away from the boy. “I’m not doing this right now. You’re not doing this right now.”

As if to further your point, the band’s tour manager can be heard calling out frantically for the boy. “Two minutes, Jungkook!”

But Jungkook is hardly paying attention now, instead solely focused on you. “Please, Y/N━”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me,” You admonish hotly. You can’t bite the words back, no matter how hard you try. “You don’t love me. You think you love me, but you don’t.”

His jaw clenches, and his brows furrow into a frustrated stare. “I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Stop.” The harsh word makes Jungkook clamp his mouth shut. You shake your head furiously, but you know it’s only to distract yourself so that you don’t let the tears fall. “You’re being selfish, Jungkook. You don’t get to take all of me, love all of me, and leave, only to come back months later and pretend you’re still in love with me. And whatever this━” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, “is, or was, doesn’t exist anymore. We both need to stop pretending otherwise.”

Jungkook winces, eyes tinged with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

You don’t respond. Elsewhere, his tour manager starts to grow impatient, scolding the boy aloud, “Jungkook, we’re gonna be late. Hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” Jungkook calls back, irritated. Maybe he is being selfish. He’s wasting precious time by not leaving, all the hard work that the crew put into tonight’s show, and the fans awaiting his and the band’s arrival. He can still hear the crowd, this time their buzzing voices amalgamating into unanimous chanting muffled by the walls that sounds akin to the band’s name.

“You should go,” You say now. “Don’t wanna disappoint them.”

But he’d throw it all away for you if you told him to. He promised you that even before he had left for tour, before the band had been signed. Had you forgotten? Because he surely hadn’t.

“Y/N…”

“Good luck out there.”

Then, you’re gone before Jungkook can even make a move to stop you ━ but even if he did, what could he do to make you stay? The feat seemed impossible, and you always seem to find a way to slip from his grasp no matter what he does. Only this time he has no choice but to let you go, out of fear of being berated further by his tour manager or angering the boys so much to the point where he gets kicked out of the band.

He makes it on stage in time, the band filing out to take their places one at a time, deafening screams blowing out their in-ear pieces that stand no chance as each member joins the stage. The lights fizzle out until complete darkness cloaks the venue, but Jungkook still looks for you. He finds you in the pit on the side of the stage, Jin and Dahyun standing beside you, and finds it hard to keep his eyes off of you even though you attempt to pretend as if he’s not even there.

After their first adrenaline-filled opening song of the night, Jimin takes to the microphone to greet the crowd who scream back an indiscernible shout as, elsewhere, you notice Jungkook pry himself away from the microphone stand on his side of the stage to wave the rest of the boys over to Hoseok’s drum kit. They murmur amongst themselves briefly, though they go unnoticed by Jimin or the crowd as the lead singer entertains them.

“Seoul! It’s good to be back. We’ve missed you all so much━”

Jimin’s words get cut short when Jungkook, having just parted ways with the rest of his members for their impromptu meeting, beckons the lead singer over, out of range of the microphone. They seem to discuss something just as shortly as Jungkook had talked with the rest of the boys, in which time Jimin nods understandingly, then steps away from the microphone. Then, Jungkook takes to the microphone, the rings on his fingers glistening under the spotlight as he grips the stand.

“I know the night’s only getting started,” Jungkook’s voice wavers as he speaks, “but we’re gonna slow things down for a moment. We hope you don’t mind.”

Intrigued murmurs echo around the crowd, suddenly buzzing with excitement as they watch Jungkook with eager eyes. A few encouraging bellows has Jungkook smiling smally. Jin, on the other hand, looks perplexed.

“What is he doing?” Jin asks no one in particular, a quizzical look on his face. “This isn’t part of their set.”

“I think a lot of you might know this next song,” Jungkook continues, “but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how much it means to me. This next one, I wrote for a special someone, and it sort of helped us achieve all of this. So, I think it’s time that person knows how much they mean to me.”

Jungkook glances nervously over at the boys standing behind him, each in their own respective spots. Then, sweeping his gaze across the crowd, he finally finds you already staring up at him. His own eyes soften into a look of longing, however hardened by past tribulations and sorrow it may be. As if he’s determined not to lose you again; determined to make it up to you.

“This next one is for Y/N,” he says timidly. He has to turn away from you in the next second, afraid he might just break down before the fans and the boys and you. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

As the boys take their place, with Jimin taking an acoustic and fading back from the limelight, you wonder why. But then you hear it, the familiar beginning chords making up the song you had so wholeheartedly claimed you hated. Only this time they’re gentler, made up of acoustic strums of a guitar, Hoseok’s drums, and Yoongi’s keys, all amalgamating into a pretty song almost unrecognizable.

Then, Jungkook starts singing, and what was once a wistful dreamy song of prospective lovers suddenly turns into a melancholic requiem for you. Some lyrics are changed, present tense turning to the past, and Jungkook sings his way throughout the entirety of the song in contrast to the one that plays all over the radio featuring the other member’s voices. The fans sing along, their voices melding with Jungkook’s into some sort of celestial mellifluous choir, and you’re left no longer wondering if the fans would ever know the meaning behind the song that Jungkook had brought to life. Because now, it wasn’t just Jungkook singing to you; it was the whole world. And yet, paradoxically at the same time, it felt all that much more intimate. As if it were just you and him once again, seated on the couch in his small apartment, listening to the beginnings of what would be their number one selling song.

Above all else, you realize that you don’t seem to hate the song as much you claimed to.

That night, you can’t sleep.

You find yourself leaving the venue earlier than everyone else, even when the boys invite you and Dahyun to join them for celebratory drinks, returning to your home in the hopes of forgetting the night altogether. Instead, you stay up tossing and turning, your mind filled with memories consisting of only Jungkook and his haunting voice singing to you, and for you. But at some point during the night nearing one or two in the morning, just when you give up on the idea of sleep, the sound of incessant knocking at your front door rouses you from your trance.

When you finally answer the door, you’re more than surprised to see that Jungkook stands on the other side of the threshold as if coming to you from a dream. But then you register the fact that he’s a complete mess. Dark circles line his weary eyes, now smudged with that faint hint of charcoal liner he had worn for the concert, hair so messily mused beyond repair, and you notice quickly that he’s crying, fresh tears glazing over his pupils and streaking down his face. It’s startling to see him in such shambles, a complete contrast to how effortlessly charming and confident he usually portrays himself. But though you’ve seen him cry before on various occasions, now is all the more unsettling.

“I━I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he shakes his head. He fumbles over his words, slurring them together in his rush to get them out. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, no, I swear━” He pries his eyes open to meet your desolate stare, tears unabashedly falling from his lashes. His voice thins with desperation. “You said we need to stop pretending, but I’m not pretending. I never have been. And if you think ━ if you truly believe ━ that there’s nothing here between us anymore… Tell me. Right here, right now. And I’ll leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again. I just━ I’ve missed you every moment and it kills me.”

You’re silent for a long period, pitying gaze sweeping over him, but he doesn’t care if he looks insane. He just needs you to know how he feels.

“Well, how do you think I felt?” You ask the question carefully, but then the memories come flooding back and the semblance of a scowl forms on your face. “You leave and suddenly everywhere I look I see you. Your song is playing everywhere, you and the guys are everywhere, and I’m reminded every day about how we ended. About how you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. He shakes his head stubbornly, the nerves in the corner of his jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth. “You were the one who said we should take a break.”

“A break!” You snap sternly. “Fuck, Jungkook. I didn’t want you out of my life forever. I wanted you to fight for me.”

“No, don’t put this all on me,” Jungkook pleads helplessly. “I have always fought for you. But the minute things got rough, you bailed. You told me you never wanted to see me again. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I was scared!” You try to swallow the tears away that start to form as a lump in your throat but to no avail. “I was, and I still am, so fucking scared of losing you. And you━ It felt like you gave me no choice. Like you were over it. I would have wanted to make things work but you left. You just… You left, and suddenly it was like you were never in my life at all. Seven months, and I get no word from you.”

“I fucked up, okay!” He cries out so suddenly, it silences you at once. He bites at his lip, and straightens up half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair. When he meets your stare this time, he’s zealous yet sincere. “I know that I messed up. I know. And it fucking kills me every single day. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it did, and I know it’s all my fault. When you said we should take a break and I agreed, I was only thinking about you. Because I knew I was disappointing you every day, and I was afraid that was all I would ever do, and you don’t deserve that. I thought it would be better this way, if I was just gone from your life for good. But I can’t forget you.”

“How can I trust you?” You ask. When his pained stare gawks at you, you tilt your chin a little higher. “I came by your hotel room yesterday morning, just like you asked, only to see that girl leaving.”

Jungkook’s gawk turns into a dumbfounded expression. He looks weary as he shakes his head, as if struggling to keep up with the way you accuse him now. He tries not to focus on the fact that you actually came to the hotel, then feels inconsolably terrible when he realizes why he never got to see you. “That girl was Namjoon’s fling. We were sharing the suite, and they were in a whole other room. I didn’t even think about her━”

Your stare droops from him, and he knows he’s struggling to keep you on his side.

“Okay, fine. You want trust? I’ll give it to you,” he says. A newfound sense of confidence seems to possess him, though he approaches the topic with extra caution anyway. “After we broke up, I was crushed. I couldn’t move on from you, and the guys thought I should get drunk, find a random girl to bring back to our hotel one night on tour. And I listened, because I wanted to forget you, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. Every time she touched me, every time she kissed me, I could only imagine it was you. And when she left that night, I broke down because I felt like such a fucking idiot. I instantly regretted it. Like, even though you and I weren’t together, I still did something to hurt you by sleeping with that girl. And all it did was hurt me too in the process.”

He pushes himself forward, taking a step over the threshold. Even despite him admitting his wrongs to you, you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. Because, at the end of it all, he’s here at your doorstep, pleading for you to forgive him, but he had already won the moment your eyes had landed on him.

“You’re the reason I am who I am today.” His voice is hoarse when he speaks, almost in a whisper. “That I get to do what I love for a living. But all of it means nothing without you. You saw me at my worst, and my best. And you were the best I ever had, and I ruined it, and the worst part of it all is that there’s nothing I can do to make up for it. But I promise I can make it better ━ I can make it right again ━ if you just give me a chance.”

There’s a short pause filled with poignant silence in which Jungkook thinks you’ll push him away or scream at him. He’s fortunate when you do neither; instead, he hears you whisper faintly.

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

And it’s more than enough for him. His heart thrums in delight as he wastes no time in reaching out for you. His hands are warm as they come to grasp at your face, holding you delicately; then he’s leaning in to you, drawing you closer and closer until his lips are pressed against yours. It’s unadulterated, but not without feverish passion, noses smushing together in both your eager hastiness to close the distance between the two of you. It doesn’t last long either, though that’s partly because Jungkook can taste your tears mingling on your lips, and can feel your faint smile form against his mouth. Kissing him feels both foreign yet familiar at the same time. You know the feel, the taste, and the sense of comfort that comes with it, but months apart from one another has left it feeling different.

Jungkook’s thumb wipes away at the tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

It’s a useless question, he knows, but he needs something to fill the silence. He’s relieved when he hears you snicker. “Because I miss you, you idiot. And I’m sorry I’ve been acting like such an idiot. I’ve messed everything up.”

His own shoulders quiver with contented mirth. “It’ll be okay.” As he leans in once more for another kiss, you can feel him murmur against your mouth, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Then make it right,” You say, “right here and now.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he promises earnestly.

Jungkook understands the underlying yearning in your voice even without having you explain yourself. He knows, if only because he can feel it too. As his hands fall to your waist, fingers digging into your skin, your own arms wrap around his neck and pull him into your apartment. He has you pressed up against the nearest wall within seconds, kissing at your throat, then up to your jawline.

“It’s been so long,” he sighs.

You hum in agreement, though your mind is already spinning, and all you can muster is a weak yet urgent croak of his name. “Jungkook.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging at the roots and he croons with delight. His lips finally meet yours again, only this time he lets his tongue lav at your lower lip. Almost as soon as he does so, you notice something strange. It takes a moment for you to register the small metallic object that grazes your lower lip but when you do, you pull away from the boy.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a confused dazed.

“Is that…” You rasp. “Did you get your tongue pierced?”

Suddenly, Jungkook is smirking, one brow shooting up to his hairline in a smug demeanour. He sticks out his tongue for you to see the silver ball poking through and you almost moan at the sight of it as the thought entices you.

“Oh.” Your face warms with a flustered blush. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Always wanted to get it done. Guess I was saving it for the right moment.”

“Right moment, huh?” You scoff as if the implications don’t already have your thighs rubbing together. “Care to explain?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough.”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, marvelling at the way Jungkook’s familiar flirtatious bantering can soothe your troubled heart at once. It’s almost as if time hasn’t lapsed between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” You sigh. “I’ve missed you, Jungkook.”

You spot him smiling before he’s kissing you again, this time his tongue slipping past your parted lips to meet yours midway. The piercing is strange to adjust to, but you get used to it quickly, humming at the feeling of it against the soft flesh of your tongue. It’s easy to get lost in one another’s lips as you pull and tug at Jungkook, guiding him to your bedroom, nearly tripping and stumbling over one another in the process. He knows the path like the back of his hand, the same way he knows every curve and dimple of your body as his greedy hands explore you. He has you sprawled out beneath him on the bed in a matter of seconds, carelessly shedding each other of your clothes until you’re left naked and he’s without a shirt.

As he’s tugging off the hoodie you’re wearing, he realizes two things abruptly. One: you’re not wearing anything beneath it, your bare body dazzling him at once. And, two: a sudden thought jogs his memory that makes him ponder aloud, “Is this my sweater?”

“Yes,” You admit sheepishly.

He smirks. “Was wondering where it went.”

“You forgot to take it back when…” You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you tug your fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck, as if scared he’ll leave again. He doesn’t. Instead, he nestles his body between your legs, tonguing patterns on your neck. “I wear it sometimes, especially when I’m missing you. I don’t know… It just━ It still smells like you, even after all this time.”

Jungkook’s heart nearly implodes. He wonders briefly if he’d prefer fucking you without or with the hoodie; but then he’s letting himself time to study your naked body and he deduces he needs to gaze at you in your entirety a little longer.

“Keep talking,” he murmurs. He starts kissing down your body now, starting from your throat to your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, then your navel. “Tell me more. How badly did you miss me?”

“So badly,” You whimper. Your legs instinctively part to make way for him as he shifts downward, kissing just above your core. A shudder runs down your spine when he kisses the inside of your thigh. “Sometimes I’d put your sweater on and touch myself to the thought of you.”

He grunts against you, teeth softly biting at your flesh. His tongue pokes against your thigh, the metallic piercing a dully cold sensation as he licks upward to your core. He laps at your folds, as if to taste the glistening cum that starts to form.

Your breath audibly hitches in your throat, hips jutting forward to meet his mouth. “I missed your hands, and the way they made me feel. Missed your mouth between my legs. Missed cumming on your tongue, or your fingers.”

Now, you’re starting to understand what he meant by waiting for the right moment to use the piercing to its fullest potential. As he lifts his head higher to tongue at your clit, the piercing makes your head spin. The contrast between his soft tongue and the harsh metal works wonders against you, rubbing you just the right way that has you a moaning mess beneath him within a matter of seconds.

“Fuck━” You cry out, hands twisting in his hair. “My hands never feel the same. You always made me feel so good, Jungkook.”

He hums something in response, the sound reverberating up your spine. He busies himself by replacing his tongue with his finger, rubbing small, controlled circles against your clit as he lowers his mouth to your folds. He teases the piercing against the sensitive flesh before lapping at your insides, burrowing further into you.

“Ooh, Jungkook━”

The noise that eclipses your throat is a piqued sob of delight. The piercing that scratches against your walls has your insides throbbing, body twisting and turning beneath him. You grab at your breasts, fingers pinching at the perked buds as you imagine Jungkook’s hands in replace of yours.

His mouth wraps just right around you and he sucks hard, earning a beautiful moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to draw closer to your high, sputtering and whimpering at every action he does. Soon he’s burrowing his face even closer against your core, nose nudging against your clit in a way that makes you writhe and squirm. Before he can get carried away (and he certainly could), Jungkook decides to come to a stop which seems to thoroughly surprise and upset you. When you feel his missing warmth between your legs and the sticky wet mess accentuated further by the cool air that hits you, you pout like a child.

“That’s not fair,” you whine.

“Sorry, baby. Need to feel you.” He pulls away from you and crawls over your body once more. He kisses your lips, sloppy and heated, and lets you taste your own succulence on your tongue. “God, I need to feel you so bad.”

You’re just as much startled as you were seconds ago to hear the slight whine in his voice, a sound hot enough to almost push you over the edge.

“I’ve missed you too, just so you know,” he moans, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers continue to scratch delicately at his scalp and he simpers delightfully against you. He ruts his hips eagerly against yours, the bulge in his pants rough against your core. “So fucking much.”

“How much?” Now it’s your turn to ask, your curiosity getting the best of you once you find your voice.

“Every day,” he sighs as he continues to grind his hips into yours. “Get so hard at the thought of you. Your pretty mouth moaning my name. Your hands in my hair, just like this━” You pull a little tighter at the roots of his locks, and he has to stifle his contented moan. “And your body━ Fuck, your body. You take my dick so well, baby.”

“Jungkook,” You mewl impatiently. “Wanna feel you in me.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay━”

He hastens to rid himself of his pants and you help, arms momentarily tangling with one another in your rush. Then he’s kneeling before you, one hand planted firmly on your hip, rings digging roughly against your skin, as his other hand wraps a fist around his hard length, slowly pumping himself. He guides the tip of his leaking cock to your core and pushes himself forward carefully. He easily slips past your folds, coaxed by your slick walls, that he has to pause to give you both time to adjust to the feeling. It’s just as he remembered, though somehow better, and he isn’t so sure how long he’ll last. You don’t know either, marvelling in the way he stretches you open.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts.

He watches as your jaw drops open in a silent gap, your eyes fixed only on his. You grab at his hips, fingers scratching delicately over the laurel tattoos inked there, prompting him to move. He does so in one languid movement, burying deeper and deeper into you until you feel so full and he feels so warm. He fucks into you a little sluggish at first, taking his time and enjoying the way your clenching walls feel around his throbbing cock. It’s a pace so maddening that it soon has the both of you panting, heavy moans filling the space around you. Your own fingers dig into his shoulders, his back, his hips ━ anything to keep a hold on reality as you slowly lose yourself to the pleasure. He reaches for one of your hands, eager to feel you in more ways than one, and laces his digits with yours, pressing your clasped palms above your head. You squeeze tightly, his name falling from your lips in a cry.

“Doing so good,” he mumbles through gritted teeth. “Feel so nice, baby.”

Jungkook grasps at your hips and flips the two of you over. He lands on his back on the soft mattress and you fumble to not break the pace. Firmly planting your hands on his chest, you grind against him, sweat coating your forehead. He watches you with a dark fascination, brows screwed together and jaw clenched as your own cum starts leaking down his length. Not wanting to waste another moment without being beside you, he sits up and shifts you in his lap. Then he pulls you close to him, chest pulled flush against chest to the point where he can feel the rapid beat of your heart against his. You whimper aloud, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as he guides your hips back and forth on him. There’s little to no space between your gyrating bodies, sweaty skin sticking to one another.

At some point, Jungkook notices you’re crying again, steady tears tangling in your lashes and wetting your face. Despite the way you’re driving him to near euphoria, he brushes your hair out of your face and manages to ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry━ fuck,” You gasp. He can tell you’re genuinely sympathetic for whatever’s making you cry but it’s hard for you to convey it properly when you’re still so consumed by him. “I’m so sorry━ I’m okay. I just━ You feel so good, Jungkook.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, rubbing tender circles against your waist that contrasts with the fierce burn between your legs. “You’re okay, baby. Doing so well for me, aren’t you? Cum for me, yeah?”

You won’t tell him why you’re crying ━ not yet, at least. But Jungkook thinks he knows why; he can feel it too. The bitter sense of longing and mingling regret for all the time lost. The overwhelming feeling of love of finally being reunited. You continue to roll your hips against his, and he, breathless, rubs his nose faintly against yours, resting his forehead against yours.

It doesn’t take much longer after that for you to come tumbling to you high. He strokes your hair so lovingly as you ride him recklessly, leisure rolls of your hips driving you to your high. When you cum, the feeling completely washes over you and electricity crackles in your veins, warming your entire body. He holds you close to his chest the entire time as you writhe with pleasure, your walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off as you busy yourself by sucking a bruise onto the underside of his jaw.

He reaches his high moments later just as you’re beginning to wince at the feeling of oversensitivity. He grunts and groans, spilling his hot seed into you, and then, with his hips slammed against yours, grinds leisurely to ride out your highs.

Then, the room falls silent.

Neither of you move from your warm embrace, with you still perched on his lap, his cock softening inside you as his cum runs down his length and onto your thighs. Your face is hidden in the crook of his neck, and he waits until you’ve both calmed down from your orgasms. You’re running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but he knows you’re still sad. He kisses you all over in the meantime, a few ticklish kisses that make you smile sleepily and a few loving ones that have your heart swelling. Then, he gingerly shifts your head to look at him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks silently.

It takes you a moment to respond. You cling to him tightly when you do and all he can do is cradle you closer to him. “I don’t want this to be some kind of drunken one night stand thing. Like we both needed one last fuck to get over each other, or something."

“You mean more to me than a one night stand,” Jungkook says and it makes you smile smally, a little timidly. 

“That’s good,” You say, “because I’m not over you or us. I want us to work out. I love you too much to lose you again, and I’m scared this might be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Jungkook shakes his head furiously. “I’d be an absolute idiot to let that happen. You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere this time. You’re my priority, Y/N. You always have been. Not the band and definitely not the record label.”

“I’m sure the boys will love to hear that,” You snort to yourself.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jungkook grins. But you’re only joking, and you know he sort of is too. That’s not to say the band isn’t still important to him, but you take precedent over it. “Without you, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be where I am now.”

You nuzzle your nose against his own, and he steals one sweet kiss from you. 

“Do you really mean all that?”

“With my whole heart.”

And, when he says it, you know he means it. There’s no reason not to trust him.

You’ll both move eventually from one another’s arms, soft touches from Jungkook peeling you off of him and wrapping you in your covers before falling asleep beside you, and waking up in the morning with you in his arms. But, for now, it’s just you and him, a little broken still yet all the more in love.

While you both know healing a broken heart will take time, you’re both prepared for it because you’re both worth it to one another ━ and that’s all either of you really need in the end to make it right.

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work. 

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

[nebulablakemurphy]

Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Part Five)

Jacob Black x Fem!Vampire!Swan!Reader

Summary: Jacob Black, alpha of his pack, would never fall in love with a bloodsucker, much less imprint on one. The problem is that Y/N Swan was human…until she wasn’t anymore.

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

The bike works for a while, Bella can see Edward; until she gets good at operating the vehicle. After that the danger is gone and so is any version of him.

Jacob and Y/N are hunting Victoria. Charlie is hunting the wolves, who he still believes to be bears, responsible for the killings around town.

Bella’s alone again.

She decides to try something new, to get that rush of adrenaline. Cliff jumping is about as stupid as it is recreational. But Edward is there, begging her not to jump. So she does, anything to make him stay.

———————————————————————

“She’s freezing cold. I can’t touch her.”

“Relax. Human hot box, remember? I hope you don’t mind, I’m gonna have to give her mouth to mouth.”

“Jake,” thwack.

Beyond the voices, Bella can feel pressure. Like someone is pounding on her chest, commanding her heart to beat.

“Come on Bella. Breathe.”

With a sputtering inhale she chokes up the water that invaded her lungs.

“Bella!”

The brunette opens her eyes just in time to see her sister reach for her and then remember her temperature, dropping both hands back to her sides.

“I’m ok,” Bella tells her, through chattering teeth.

“What the hell were you doing?” Y/N demands, tossing a blanket around her shoulders.

Jacob lifts Bella from the sand to lean against him, soaking up his warmth.

“I just wanted to see something.” Bella looks away from Y/N. The venom has eaten away her contacts and she can see her now for what she truly is.

“We’ve gotta get her home.” Jacob says, lifting Bella with ease.

“Your eyes,” Bella tries to warn her.

“It’s ok,” Y/N shakes her head. “Dad’s not home. He’s over at the Clearwater’s.”

“Did something happen?” Bella wonders.

“Harry had a heart attack.” Jacob breathes, the words striking like a hot iron. “He didn’t make it.”

“I’m so sorry.” Bella whispers to no one in particular.

“Let’s go,” Y/N jerks her chin in the direction of the road.

“I’ll run her,” the wolf offers.

“My truck,” Bella pushes feebly against his chest.

“I got it,” Y/N sighs, taking the keys. “You go, keep her warm.”

“On it.” Jacob nods, breaking into a sprint.

Y/N heads back to the truck, opening the door and waiting as it rattles to life. Her fingers curl over the steering wheel harshly, distorting it with the force of her grasp.

The phone buzzes to life in her pocket, not a number she recognizes. “Hello?”

“Y/N, it’s Edward.”

“Edward…” The Y/H/C nearly short circuits.

“Is Bella alright?” He asks immediately.

How did he know? “Now you care what happens to Bella?”

“Y/N please-“

“No,” she cuts him off. “Edward, you left. You left and you didn’t care. I mean where the hell have you been? Where were you while I was here picking up the pieces?”

“I’m sorry.” Edward grovels, the way she had on the front lawn of the Cullen’s home after Bella’s birthday party. “It was a mistake.”

“Your sorry means nothing to me.” Y/N ends the call. Tossing the phone to the passenger seat. Her foot pressing the gas pedal to the floor.

Arriving home at record speed, she finds a black car in the driveway. Carlisle’s car. Parking the truck, she jots through the front door.

Alice, Jacob and Bella are deep in conversation.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N asks Alice.

“I had a vision of Bella jumping off a cliff. I didn’t see her get pulled out of the water-“ Alice breaks off. Her eyes fluttering, then she gasps.

“What now?” Jacob runs a hand over his face.

“It’s Edward, he thinks Bella’s dead.” Alice chokes out. “He’s going to the Volturi, he wants to die too.”

“What?” Bella’s entire body lurches forward.

“Rosalie told him why I came here. Then Y/N-“

“You spoke to him?” Bella cuts Alice off. “What did you say?”

“I told him to screw himself. Not kill himself.” Y/N says defensively.

“Y/N!” Bella is hysterical.

She never meant for this to happen. “Tell me where he is and how to get there.”

“What are you gonna do?” Jacob leans in, his fingers closing around her wrist.

“I have to go,” Y/N rolls her eyes at the ridiculous nature of the situation, “save Edward.”

Jacob’s face falls into a scowl, “no, no way in hell.”

“Jake-“

“The Volturi, isn’t that some kind of vampire judge and jury situation? The ones you’re so afraid of that you can’t even tell Charlie what happened to you?” Jacob can put up with a lot, and he has. But this…

“Jacob, I know that this sucks.” Y/N pulls him away from Alice and Bella for a shred of privacy. “But it’s my fault. I have to make it right.”

“Stop blaming yourself for his shitty decisions!” Jacob roars, “it’s not your fault that he left, it’s not your fault that he didn’t come back and it’s not your fault that you told him to shove it where the sun don’t shine.”

Y/N takes step back, “please don’t.”

“Please don’t what?” Jake snarls, closing the distance between them. “Tell you the truth?”

“Please don’t hate me for what I’m about to do.” Y/N pleads, allowing his fingers to sear her skin.

“If you die…” he strokes her jaw reverently, “I’ll kill you.”

“I love you so much,” she turns into his palm and presses gentle kisses there.

Jacob lets his hand fall away as they break apart. “What do you want me to tell Charlie?”

“Last minute girls trip or something,” Y/N shrugs.

“How long will you be gone?” Jacob wants to say it back. That he loves her.

Y/N looks to Alice.

“Three days, round trip.” The pixie tells them.

Bella has already gone up to pack.

“Perfect,” Jacob acknowledges. Keeping the words to himself.

———————————————————————

The plan ride to Italy is tense. Bella hardly sleeps, she is a nervous wreck.

Alice is flooded with vision after vision as she watches Edward and the Volturi’s decisions.

Y/N plucks anxiously at the wolf charm on her wrist.

The car Alice steals is a beautiful canary yellow color. It shifts gears like butter and glides over the road.

“The Volturi refused him.” Alice says, surprise and relief in her voice.

“Should you be driving?” Y/N wonders, there’s no way she can concentrate with the future flashing before her eyes.

“You can channel for me” Alice offers. There is no time to stop.

Y/N closes her eyes, willing the visions to come to her. “He’s waiting until noon, when the sun’s at it’s highest. Then he’s going to reveal himself to the humans.”

“Alice, you gotta hurry up.” Bella pleads, tugging at the roots of her hair.

“Bella,” Alice coos, “breathe.”

Y/N opens her mind, but Edward is decided, so nothing changes. Until something unexpected appears.

Jacob. He’s seated on their living room couch, shooting the breeze with Charlie. Clearly waiting for something as his eyes flicker to the clock repeatedly. Her, Y/N realizes, he’s waiting for her.

“What did you see?”

“It wasn’t Edward, don’t worry.” Y/N drawls. Just her letting down the most important person in her life…again.

The crowd surrounding Volterra is massive, Alice cuts through as much as she can with the stolen Porsche, but eventually Bella has to make a run for it. To the clock tower at the center of the festival before Edward exposes himself in the sunlight. She is the only one Edward can’t see coming.

“So, what now?” Y/N demands.

“What did you see?” Alice asks instead.

“Doesn’t matter.” The Y/H/C shakes her head. “We can’t just sit here-“

“You saw him, didn’t you?” Alice steals a glance at her. “Jacob?”

“Does he always look so miserable in your visions,” she wonders.

“I can’t see him.” The other vampires admits, “the wolves are a blind spot.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure.” Alice’s brows furrow, the visions are back in her own head. “We have to go.”

The two of them weave through the festival, skin covered from the sun that shines bright overhead. Finally taking shelter in a door off the alley way.

“Come on guys,” Alice pulls the scarf from her head as they enter. “Wouldn’t want to cause a scene.”

The ‘guys’ in question have glowing red eyes, their diet is strictly human blood.

Bella is against the wall, with Edward between her and the two men wearing black cloaks.

“No we certainly wouldn’t.” The shorter blonde man purrs. “Aro requests your presence.”

“Bella,” Edward addresses her, “why don’t you go back out and enjoy the festival?”

“All of you,” the larger man clarifies.

A third vampire joins them, a girl with blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun. “Aro sent me to see what’s taking so long.”

“So no festival?” Y/N cocks her head to the side.

“I’m afraid not.” The girl gives her a tight lipped grin. “Right this way.”

The four of them are led down a long corridor to a stair case, then to an elevator.

Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

Edward’s eyes, dark with thirst, cut to Y/N. Bella tucked securely beneath his arm.

‘Sorry,’ she mentally shoots back.

He turns his gaze ahead as the elevator doors open onto a checkered marble floor. The ceilings are high, adorned with paintings that put the Sistine chapel to shame.

“Don’t be afraid,” Edward whispers to Bella.

“Are you?” Bella stares up at him.

“No,” he lies.

They land at double doors, pushed open to reveal three more men, seated in high back chairs that resemble thrones.

The one in the center moves to stand, the other brunette and blonde vampires can’t be bothered.

“What a happy surprise!” The man rejoices, “Bella is alive after all. And you’ve brought a friend.”

“I’m just here for moral support.” Y/N explains, jerking her thumb at Bella, “she’s my sister.”

Aro looks her over, “welcome…”

“Y/N,” she introduces herself.

Aro steps forward then, taking Edward’s hand from Bella’s into his own.

“Aro can read every thought I’ve ever had with a single touch.” Edward tells them.

“You are quite a soul reader yourself Edward. Although you can’t hear Bella’s thoughts.” Aro remarks, “would you do me the honor?” He extends a hand to Bella.

Warily she steps forward, allowing him to encase her hand with both of his.

“How strange,” Aro pulls away after a moment. “I see nothing. I wonder if…let us see if she is immune to all our powers, Jane.”

“No,” Edward protests, jumping in front of Bella.

“Pain,” the blonde girl murmurs, a satisfied smirk spreading across her features as Edward falls to the ground. He writhes silently at Bella’s feet.

“Stop! Please.” Bella yells, “stop hurting him.”

Aro watches her in fascination, allowing the torture to continue for a moment. “Jane.”

“Master?” The girl says.

Edward relaxes with a grunt.

“Go ahead my darling,” Aro motions to Bella.

“This might hurt just a little,” Jane warns.

But Bella feels nothing.

“Remarkable.” Aro marvels, “she confounds us all. So, what do we do with you now?”

“She knows too much, she’s a liability.” The blonde man on the right croons, from his chair.

“That’s true.” Aro replies, “Felix.”

“No,” Edward flips Bella behind him, having read his thoughts.

Alice seen Aro’s decision to have Bella killed.

And Y/N catches on quickly enough. Stepping in front of her sister.

Alice is restrained by the short blonde haired guard and Edward is wrestling with the larger vampire, which eventually leaves Edward on the ground.

Y/N’s never engaged in combat, but fight or flight is still a thing. She’s stronger and faster than anyone in the room, perks of being a newborn. She uses it to her advantage.

Fending off every attack the guard throws at her. But she is wreckless, untrained in her youth. Eventually she is restrained, with a hand at her throat.

The exchange gives Edward enough time to recover, he comes back swinging. For Bella. Anything for her.

Felix is strong. Edward is going to lose and her sister is going to die.

Y/N does the only thing she can do, “pain.”

The large man twists inhumanly at the crippling pain coursing through him.

Aro’s mouth sits slightly agape, watching in wonder as Edward returns to his feet.

“Call him off and I’ll stop,” Y/N jerks her chin toward Felix.

“Let us discuss this in a civilized manner.” Aro tries to defuse the situation.

“Tell your men to stop trying to kill my sister,” Y/N tosses the guard’s hand from her neck. “Then we discuss.”

“Felix, stand down.” Aro orders.

Y/N releases the man from her clutches, hearing him struggle to regain composure.

“You have the most peculiar scent.” Aro comments, “come.” He holds a hand out, “let me see.”

Y/N steps toward him, allowing his palm to rest under hers.

His eyes fall closed as he weaves through the facets of her memories. From birth to death and after life. “Ahh,” Aro coos.

Y/N resists the urge to pull away.

“Your gift is…untouched.” The things she could do, if only- “I can teach you.”

“Let my sister go,” Y/N repeats.

“So young, so much control.” Aro remarks. “To have resisted her blood twice within the first year. You are magnificent.” He smiles, drunk on the idea of harnessing the power she possesses. “You could join us.”

“I have someone waiting for me.” Y/N declines the offer.

“The child of the moon.” Aro recalls the boy from her mind. Dark hair, bright smile, “you love him impossibly so, against everything in your nature. It makes my heart ache.”

“Consorting with a werewolf?” Caius rushes to his feet. “Our sworn enemy?”

“This is different brother,” Aro stops him. If only he earns the young vampire’s trust, all that power will be his. “They have no qualms with us, nor each other. Misfortune has befallen them, much like our young friends Bella and Edward. This is a sadness.”

“You already know what you’re going to do, Aro. Let us be done with this.” Marcus motions dismissively.

“If only it were your intention to change her.” Aro addresses Edward now.

“Bella will be one of us.” Alice interrupts, “I’ve seen it. I’ll change her myself.”

Aro steps away from Y/N, to where Alice stands. Whatever she shows him must be proof enough. They’re free to go. For now.

———————————————————————-

The plane ride home is awkward. Both better and worse that the flight there.

“Thank you, for what you did.” Edward breaks the silence, as Bella sleeps peacefully against his shoulder. “Only it wasn’t smart. Aro has taken interest now, he’ll try to win you over.”

“Better men have tried.” Y/N turns her nose up at the idea, and him.

“I’m not going to push for your forgiveness. Or hers.” He looks over at Bella, “I’m going to earn it.”

“Sure.” The Y/H/C crosses her arms, “holding my breath.”

“Good thing you don’t need air.” Edward cracks a smile.

“Can you not pick my brain right now? I need to think.” Y/N tries to refocus. “Alone.”

“Jacob will forgive you.” Edward ignores her comment.

“Jacob always forgives me.” She whispers, “I want to deserve it this time.”

Edward nods in understanding. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts.”

If he hears anything else he doesn’t comment on it. Falling into a comfortable silence.

Y/N is largely on autopilot until they make it home.

Charlie rushes out onto the porch at the sound of a car engine. “There you are.”

“Hi, Dad.” Y/N steps up to hug him.

Charlie kisses the top of her head, returning the embrace. “Jacob said it was a girls trip.” He’s not thrilled to see Edward.

“It was supposed to be,” Y/N pulls away. “He surprised us.”

“She does look better though, doesn’t she?” Charlie notes, seeing Bella.

“Yeah,” as much as Y/N hates to admit it, she agrees.

“Go on. He’s been waiting for ya.” Charlie nods toward the house. “I’m gonna have a word with Edward.”

“Ok,” Y/N takes the stairs two at a time. “Don’t be too hard on him though.” She calls after her father. “He’s been through hell too.”

Charlie squints at her, hoping she will elaborate but knowing she won’t.

“Honey, I’m home.” Y/N sings into the living room.

Jacob doesn’t say a word. Just makes his way to her and wraps her up in his arms. Inhaling the scent at the crook of her neck, deeply. “Never thought I’d miss your stink.”

Y/N takes a whiff of her own. “The wet dog and earthy tones are starting to smell like home.”

“Yeah.” He feels it too.

“Can I ask you something?” She murmurs against his shoulder.

“Sounds like a loaded question already.” Jacob can hear it in her voice.

“How much of you staying here is because of the imprint? How much of it is your soul needing mine? And how much of it is just Jake?”

“I guess I-“ he breaks off. “I’ll never really know for sure. But I think the Jacob I’ve been my whole life would stay. Imprint Jacob would have no choice but to please you. And my soul just wants to be close to yours, anyway it can.”

“Do you ever wish you could un-imprint?” If that’s even a word. “I hate the thought of you chipping away parts of yourself…to please me.”

Jacob nuzzles her forehead with his own. “I’m lucky that I got to imprint on someone who loves me. Someone I didn’t have to change for. Being with you is easy, like breathing.”

“I want to give you more than I take.” Y/N tells him.

“I can feel you,” heart and soul, “how much you love me.”

“You can,” the vampire tenses, “feel me?”

“I know how guilty you feel for leaving, how scared you are that you’ll have to do it again.” Jacob places her hand over his heart. “I’ll wait.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” she argues. “You’re already giving away too much.”

“Stop beating yourself up. I can handle you. Have little faith.”

“I have faith in you.” That was never the problem.

“Give yourself some credit too.” He taps her chin, “quit brooding.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good,” Jacob holds Y/N at arms length, “now tell me everything. What’d I miss on the trip of a lifetime?”

“Well Alice stole a car.” She starts with the fun part. “Porsche I think, crazy fast. You would’ve loved it.”

———————————————————————-

The night they return from Italy, Bella insists that her mortality be put up for a vote. The Cullens gather around the staircase in their home, calling for Y/N and Jacob as well.

“You are part of this family, Y/N.” Carlisle rests a hand on her shoulder. “Jacob is your mate. Bella is your sister. You have a say in this.”

Jacob votes no.

Y/N votes not to vote. Only expressing her opinion based on her own experience. “I know what it feels like to have your choices taken away. I won’t do it to you.”

Life goes on. Y/N visits the reservation often. Like Jacob promised, everyone is coming around.

Graduation is right around the corner. Bella is waiting until after to become a vampire. Hoping it’ll be easier on Charlie.

He’s definitely not going to let it go a second time. He’ll demand answers that they won’t be able to give. They’ll have to leave. All of them.

Billy can see how much Y/N is wrestling with the decision. “In your heart you know that this is the best thing for everyone. Why are you hellbent on torturing yourself?”

“I’m not,” she shakes her head.

“You and Jake will get each other through.” Billy isn’t worried about that.

“What about my Dad?” He’ll be devastated.

Billy sighs, resting a hand on her shoulder. “What’d you want me to say kid?”

“Give me another choice.” She covers his fingers with her own.

“You having a pity party without me?” Jacob catches them, leaning heavily against the doorframe of his childhood kitchen.

“You were sleeping.” Y/N sniffs, breaking away from Billy. “I made you breakfast. Pancakes, French toast, eggs, bacon, sausage and-“

“And?” Jacob perks up.

“Chocolate chips muffins for dessert.”

“You’re trying to butter me up, huh?” Jacob grins, making his way to the breakfast table. “It’s working. Just give it to me straight.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Billy excuses himself.

“The Cullens are having a graduation party for Bella.” Y/N watches the wolf take a bit of food from each dish.

“Just Bella?” Jacob arches a brow.

She huffs, reaching into her bag for the formal invite.

‘Congrats Grad!’

‘Please join us to celebrate, Alice, Jasper, Bella, Edward, Y/N and Jacob.’

‘R.S.V.P. To Alice or Esme Cullen.’

“Wow,” Jacob takes it all in. “They shouldn’t have.”

“They gave them to half of Forks high school.” Y/N explains, “most of my senior class remembers you as my hot boyfriend from a different school.”

“I am your hot boyfriend from a different school.” There is no denying it.

Y/N bites her lip. “They gave me a handful of invites for you too. If you want…”

“Really trying to push the whole ‘happy family’ agenda.” Jacob takes the stack of envelopes.

“It’ll only get worse if we indulge them.”

“In a few months they’ll be the only people we know.” Jacob reminds her. “Should probably get used to it.”

Y/N nods, turning her gaze out the window. “The younger we start out in a new place the longer we get to stay.”

“So high school again.” Jacob laughs humorlessly. “Can’t wait.”

“I want to stay in Forks.” Y/N forces out the words. “I want to stay with my Dad.”

“Baby,” Jacob breathes. That’s one thing he can’t give her.

“But it doesn’t matter what I want. Bella has to turn. We have to move on.” Y/N squares her shoulders. “Just let me sulk a little.”

“Sulk away, beautiful.” Jacob takes a bite of scrambled eggs. “Just pass the salt first.”

Series Taglist: @remembered-license @itscheybaby

Part 6

[book-boys-are-my-guilty-pleasure]

A Stark and her Soldier ~ Part 1

Imagine: Reuniting with Bucky when you end up helping Sam with the Flag Smashers.

Warnings: TFATWS SPOILERS! This takes place during the first two episodes of the show.

A/N: I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’M BACK (with a new header lol)!!! AHHHHHHHH! It’s been nearly two years but here I am… posting this makes me SO nervous, so feedback would be highly appreciated! More parts and some information about what I’m planning with this blog to follow soon! 

“You held us together – do it for them,” he paused before adding, “Promise me you’ll do it for them.”

You blinked away the tears, knowing what was coming, “I can’t promise that...”

“Y/N please,” the way he begged you with that shaking voice was nearly enough to push you over the edge.

“I-I promise.” He squeezed your hand before letting you leave.

“You’ve reached James Barnes, sorry I couldn’t take your call, please –” you hung up before the recorded message could continue, face burning with frustration. This was the 9th time you had tried calling him this week, not to mention the countless text messages.

You scoffed thinking of Steve’s last words to you, how were you supposed to hold them together when you barely held yourself together on a good day? It doesn’t make it any easier when the person you’re supposed to be holding together is so keen on letting himself fall apart.  

Every time you tried calling him, you ended up feeling furious, miserable, or like an absolute failure – usually all three. You promised Steve, you promised, and you failed. You groaned and chucked your phone across your bed.

The last time you had seen him, Steve had still been around, and you hadn’t even spoken to him since Tony’s funeral.

 You and Pepper had walked to the lake, each holding one of Morgan’s hands, and you had sat at the dock watching the arc reactor – his heart – float away, the people behind you forgotten in your grief. The weight on your heart was unbelievable, you had already lost your best friend, Natasha, and now your brother was gone.

You promised him that you wouldn’t cry at his funeral – he always knew it was inevitable – and so you sat there, sending him away with a pained smile.

You had no idea how long you had just sat there, staring at the horizon across the lake, trying to make this last moment with your brother last forever.

“Y/N?” You felt a hand squeezing your shoulder, “You should come back inside.”

“What happens now, Steve?” Your voice was softer than he had ever heard before.

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out together,” he paused for a moment before gesturing to Bucky, waiting outside the house behind him, “He wants to talk to you.”

You gave Bucky a small smile, “Hey.”

He walked over and dropped down next to you, Steve leaving the two of you to chat, “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” You nodded solemnly.

He added, “For everything, Y/N… he probably wouldn’t even have wanted me here, but –”

You shook your head and took his hand, heart fluttering at the contact. You had always been attracted to him, and it had only grown with every interaction. “That wasn’t you.”

You knew your brother never blamed Bucky, you all knew how it felt to have people mess with your heads and Bucky had had the worst of it. He was furious at Steve for years, but never at Bucky – you could never bring yourself to be angry with either of them, not after the stories you grew up with. Your father had adored the soldiers and you had been one of their biggest fans, and later one of Steve’s closest friends.

There had come a point after the battle between Tony and Steve when you had become sick of all the back and forth. You were lucky enough to find an escape when T’Challa got in touch with you, offering you a chance to come to Wakanda and learn about their technology – you weren’t ashamed to admit that you were the one who contacted him to beg for it. You hadn’t known that Bucky was already there. Slowly but surely, the two of you found comfort in one another and became good friends.  

He gave you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “You should head inside, it’s getting late – I’ll see you again soon.”

He stayed true to that statement, the two of you stood with Sam and Bruce, waiting for Steve to come back after returning the stones – only to have him shatter your hearts.

You only saw Bucky in passing after that, occasionally visiting Steve at the same time – you never said a word to him, beyond a smile or a wave, and then you stopped seeing him all together. You tried, for the sake of your promise to Steve, but he never answered your calls or texts.

“We’ll figure it out together, right, thanks a lot Steve,” You muttered.

You jumped at the sound of your phone ringing, and your shoulders sank a bit when you saw Sam’s name flashing across the screen, “Hey.”

“He’s doing an interview,” You knew exactly who Sam was talking about, “Good Morning America.”

Your stomach turned, “That’s the last thing I want to see.”

“I know, I just thought I’d share my joy with someone,” Sam chuckled, “Any luck with Bucky?”

“I’m just wasting my time at this point,” You could feel the tears returning to your eyes as you said it.

“Hey, come on now, he’ll come around, he just needs some time.”

“Right…”

“Listen, I called because we have a lead, wanna join?”

“Please.”

“I hate it, his stupid face plastered on every wall, it feels like he’s mocking us.”

“Don’t you start, Y/N.”

“Seriously Sam, I get that he’s the new Cap – the fake Cap, but don’t you think that this,” You gestured to the posters around you, “is excessive?”

“It-”

“Shouldn’t have given up the shield.” Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and your face heated up with anger, you hadn’t realized it was possible to feel such contrasting emotions at the same time, but here you were. You noted that his voice was a bit hoarse and wondered if he had been sick.

“Good to see you too, Buck.”

“This is wrong.”

“So is pushing away everyone who cares about you.” He finally looked at you and you saw shame glistening in those steel blue eyes.

He said nothing before turning back to Sam, “You didn’t know that was gonna happen?”

Wow, ignoring your calls was one thing, but outright ignoring you while you stood in front of him, that caused a different kind of hurt.

You stood in silence as Sam explained where the two of you were headed, trying to push away the pounding in your head, and suddenly, you found yourself in a jet sitting next to Bucky.

“You could have answered, even once. Could’ve at least let me know that you were still alive.”

“I know,” Was all he said.

“We were friends once,” Nothing, “and I still care for you.”

“I know.”

“Four months, a full four months and I didn’t hear a single word from you, I’m going to need more than ‘I know’.”

He sighed, “I’m sorry.”

You could tell that he meant it and didn’t know what more to say, so you got up and headed towards the open door of the plane, “I’ll catch you boys on the ground.”

You watched Sam follow, and considered helping Bucky as he fell through the trees, but you decided against it. He hurt your feelings and now you could call it even.

Super soldiers? How on earth were there more super soldiers?! You didn’t have much time to ponder on the thought as you got kicked in the face by one of them and fell off the semi – definitely should have let Tony make you a helmet like he insisted.

You flew back up only to see him dropping out of a helicopter, Fake Cap, fuck.

“Looks like you guys could use some help,” Your blood boiled at the sight of his cocky grin.

You weren’t winning, and you weren’t stupid enough to continue trying, let Steve’s knock-off take care of it.

You flew off just in time to see Bucky lying on top of Sam, the latter groaned in displeasure.

“Hey, can you gentlemen save the PDA for later?” You joked, earning a glare from both of them.

With the adrenaline slowly draining from your system, the pain from the blows you took started to set in, making you dread the trek in front of you. As if on cue, you heard a horn honking and Fake Cap pulled up next to you, “It’s 20 miles to the airport, you guys need a ride.”

“I think we’re good,” You simply stated.

“You won’t make it with that limp.”

You gave him a crude smile, “I’d rather crawl.”  

They stopped and opened the door, you exchanged a look with Sam and Bucky, silently deciding to join them.

You sat between Bucky and Sam, and felt the anger and disgust radiating off of both of them with every word that was exchanged.

“Y/N Stark,” You despised the way he said your last name, like he wanted to devour you, “You are one of the original seven, I trust you know the importance of having a strong team. I’d suggest giving a word or two of advice to your friends here.”

“Did you really just compare being on a team with you two, to being on a team with the Avengers?” You glowered at him, “A word of advice Walker, you’re not Steve, you might be holding that shield, but you will never be half the Captain America that he was. So quit fucking pretending.”  

“I didn’t realize Stark’s sister had such a mouth on her,” He smirked, he knew exactly what he was doing and as much as you hated to admit it, it was working, “Vicious.”

“Go to hell.”

The ride didn’t last very long after that, and you had no complaints when Bucky demanded them to stop the car.

You opened your eyes and rolled over to see Sam still asleep on the seats across from you, and Bucky was sitting on the large crate in the middle of the jet, “Not tired?”

“Nah,” He shook his head.

You pushed yourself to your feet and hopped up next to him, “You’d think they’d make those seats a bit more comfortable considering the amount of time we spend on these things.”

He chuckled and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence. After a considerable pause he turned to you, “Y/N, I meant what I said earlier, I’m sorry.”

The dark bags under his eyes were a stark contrast from the beautiful blue that you were looking into, which you noted which had lost its luster. You noticed that his voice still had a bit of that hoarseness from earlier in the day, and the dots connected. You remembered how hoarse your voice used to get when you’d wake up screaming from the nightmares after particularly rough missions. You understood why he was awake, he didn’t want you and Sam to see him like that.

You nodded, “I know, I just wish – I was worried sick about you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you Buck, but we were good friends once and I miss you.”

“I wanted to call, it’s just been tough,” He admitted, and you reached over to take his hand, only to quickly pull away as Sam woke up.

“You two okay?”

“Yeah,” You both said. You wondered if Bucky’s super soldier ability allowed him to hear the way your heartbeat picked up from that brief touch.

Your mind was racing a million miles a minute, you had barely kept the tears in listening to Isaiah’s story, both out of anger and sadness. How? How did this happen? How was this man tortured, then brushed under the rug? How did no one know about it? Why the hell did Bucky keep this from you?

Sam mirrored your pained expression, but something darker lurked beneath his eyes, you couldn’t even imagine the rage he felt. The sound of a police siren pulled you out of your thoughts.

Your anger only grew at the argument that ensued, “I am calm, what do you want? We’re just standing here talking.”

“Just give him your ID,” You glared at Bucky as the words left his mouth.

“Why the hell should he? He didn’t do anything wrong!” You growled, at the same time Sam said, “I’m not giving him shit, we were just talking.”

“Hey, hey, look, is this guy bothering you?” The officer asked you and Bucky. Your eyes widened, he can’t be serious right now.

“No, he’s not bothering us, do you know who this is?!”

You couldn’t even stand to look at the guy as his jaw dropped in shock upon realizing who Sam was, you felt your body shake with anger, and you didn’t even want to think what would have happened if Sam hadn’t been an Avenger.

The officer returned from his vehicle and turned the tables, announcing that there was a warrant out for Bucky’s arrest.

Watching him being handcuffed and put into the car shattered your heart, if the events of the day hadn’t already left you feeling nauseous, you knew this would be the nail in the coffin. All you could see was Bucky on his knees with a gun to his head nearly seven year ago when Steve barely prevented T’Challa from killing him and the four of you had been arrested – Tony had been furious with you, but it was the shame in Bucky’s eyes that had hurt you the most, and here you were, witnessing it again.

You reached over a grabbed Sam’s hand and squeezed as hard as you could, desperate for a lifeline to keep you from sinking into those painful memories.

You maintained that same grip on the poor man’s hand as you sat at the police station waiting for Bucky to be bailed out, “Sam, Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you two, I’m Dr. Raynor, I’m James’ therapist.”

The two of you shook her hand and Sam thanked her for getting Bucky out.

“That was not me –”

“Christina!” You’d recognize that voice anywhere from the way it made your skin crawl, fuck, “Good to see you again.”

You clenched your jaw to keep yourself from punching the stupid grin off of his face as he pointed to himself when Dr. Raynor asked him who authorized Bucky’s release. You knew you had a problem with constantly wanting to punch people in the face, it was a trait that ran in the family, but Walker’s face was definitely one of the most punchable ones you had seen – a good ol’ pop in the jaw wouldn’t hurt, right? Just one?

“He’s too valuable of an asset to have him tied up –”

That was it, that was all you were willing to hear, you couldn’t stop yourself from getting in his face and hissing, “Call him that again, and I swear to god Walker, I –”

Sam put his arm around you, hand pressed to your stomach and pulled you back, “Y/N.”

Walker simply smirked and turned back to Raynor, “Do what you have to do and send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I, you too Wilson, and bring your guard dog with you.”

It took everything in your power to keep from snarling at him.  

“James, condition of your release, session now,” The doctor ordered, “You two as well.”

“I’m good, I’ve been to enough therapy,” You shook your head, at the same time Sam said, “That’s okay, I’ll be out here with –”

“That wasn’t a request,” You couldn’t help but chuckle, and decided that you liked this woman.

You and Sam sat on either side of Bucky, facing Dr. Raynor as she got started. You couldn’t help but notice the way Bucky’s eyes shifted and jaw clenched as Sam tried to weasel his way out of the session, and your chest tightened. He looked so tired, and not just the ‘hasn’t slept in a few days’ tired, but more like he was tired of trying – he looked broken.

You decided in that moment that you would try, and not just for Steve, but for the man next to you who had held a piece of your heart before he even knew you, and managed steal that piece away when you had met him years later.

You realized how hard you’d have try when Bucky answered Dr. Raynor’s question with, “In my miracle, he would talk less.”

“Exactly what I was gonna say, isn’t that ironic?” You sighed, so hard.

She turned to you, mimicking the expression on your face, “Y/N, can I trust you to give me a proper answer?”

Try, Y/N, try. You saw a glimmer of hope in Raynor’s eyes as they met yours, but you simply shrugged and looked away, unable to bring yourself to open up, and she let her shoulders fall slightly.

“You guys are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul-gazing exercise. Y/N, you can sit this one out, you get along with both of them well enough.”

You rolled your eyes at the reactions from the boys, this’ll be good. You couldn’t help but chuckle as they got closer to one another, maybe I should have taken part in this exercise. They made eye contact and continued to hold it, you realized what they were doing moments before the doctor did and let out a genuine laugh – earning a glare from Raynor, don’t encourage them she seemed to say.

“James, why does Sam aggravate you? And don’t say something childish.” Your head filled with a hundred different ideas about what stupid things Bucky would come up with, only to have them fizzle away at his cheeky grin towards the doctor, followed by the lick of his lip. It left your throat dry. Snap out of it, Y/N, what’s gotten into you?

He paused for a moment, his expression changing, and turned back to Sam, “Why’d you give of that shield?”

You held your breath, you knew this was going to come up, but weren’t expecting it here. You couldn’t take your eyes off of Bucky, noticing every change in his face, it becoming more pained with every word that left his mouth, and your chest tightening alongside it, until finally, “So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me.”

The break in his voice cracked your heart into a million pieces. You looked up, trying to keep the tears swimming in your eyes from falling. You turned your attention towards Sam and noticed the emotion behind his glassy eyes – it was different than anything you had seen in him before, it was almost as though you could see the burden he was carrying on his shoulders, the pressure that was pushing him in every direction.

I have to fix this, you told yourself, you couldn’t stand to see them like this, I have to try.  

Your mind was roaring with thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed that Sam and Bucky had left until Raynor asked, “What would be in your miracle, Y/N?”

You snapped your head towards her, then to the door, you weighed your options and headed towards the latter. You grabbed the handle and stopped, without turning towards her you whispered, “I’d find a home again, and they’d find some happiness.”

You pulled the door open, “Y/N, I don’t think those two things have to be separate.”

Her words swam in your head until you found Bucky and Sam walking outside, Walker and Hoskins storming off in the other direction.

“What’s that all about?”

“Walker being Walker,” Sam shrugged.

“So, what now?”

“Bucky wants to talk to Zemo,” Every memory that you spent years trying to forget came flooding back: Zemo using those words to turn Bucky into the Winter Soldier, who then proceeded to trash the compound and nearly kill you and your friends; watching your family fight each other at the airport and being forced to pick a side; watching the footage of your parents dying; desperately begging your brother and the man who had become your brother not to kill one another.

“You what?!” You gasped.

“Y/N –”

You stepped between the two of them, close enough to Bucky that you had to tilt your head up to look into his eyes, and whispered, “Bucky, no.”

“This might be our only lead, Y/N,” You stared up at him, silently pleading him, he reflected the same in his own, “Please Y/N.”

He took your hand and you instantly melted, “I – fine, but promise me you will be careful.”

“I promise.”

End. 

Read Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 and Part 6

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[hornime]

for your viewing pleasure | suna rintarou x gn!reader

camming was addicting in a way; he could be as lazy as he wanted with it and people would still lose their minds over the tiny crumbs he left them. it was suna’s sadistic little game, and he loved it.

warnings: 18+, college au, camboy!suna, male masturbation, mentions of drinking

w/c: 1k (this was not supposed to get this long oops)

a/n: no because suna is literally the perfect candidate for camming. he’s so fucking effortlessly sexy that it pisses me off but i KNOW i’d be pressing that follow button in half a heartbeat.

for your viewing pleasure: part one ↓ | part two

“fuck.” suna let out a guttural groan, his right hand moving rapidly along his shaft as he braced himself on his other forearm, naked body splayed out on his white bedsheets. “my hand feels good ‘round my cock but i’d rather it was you,” he grunted out to no one in particular. he took a shaky breath. “hngh, you know, if you were good, i’d cum inside. you’d like that, wouldn’t you? stupid whore, all desperate for some cum.” a few thrusts later, his stomach clenched and balls tightened, cum spilling heavily from his blushing tip. “oh god,” he moaned, “feels s’good.”

as he recollected his thoughts from his heart-pounding release, he reached forward and clicked the red button on his phone, stopping the recording. after playing the video through to ensure that nothing above his neck was in the frame, he posted it on twitter with a suggestive caption and headed to the shower. this was suna’s almost-nightly routine: film something filthy for his almost forty thousand followers and bask in the strange satisfaction of thirsty comments praising his cock and begging to get fucked. camming was addicting in a way; he could be as lazy as he wanted with it and people would still lose their minds over the tiny crumbs he left them. it was suna’s sadistic little game, and he loved it.

looking back, it’s almost inevitable that he started filming his solo sessions for attention, and eventually for some side cash. 

suna was always good with cameras—throughout high school, the miyas consistently kept him on his toes; he was constantly anticipating an opportunity for the perfect shot of osamu getting a set straight to the face or of atsumu getting tackled in retaliation for said set. just like on the court, he was observant: he always knew the best angles, the best lighting, and the best positioning, all coming together to form the perfect picture. 

and as for the porn part, well, he was a teenage boy once. he’d watched his fair share of erotic videos on all kinds of sites before stumbling upon the vast expanse of homemade clips on twitter, instantly understanding the appeal. a few months after he turned eighteen, he made his own account, figuring that he might as well use his cock for something other than his own pleasure. his peers always gave him hell for his apathy, especially in bed, but on the internet, strangers were in awe of just how little he cared—and how much hotter that made him.

by the time he reached ten thousand followers, he’d opened a venmo, making a few hundred dollars within a week. this isn’t too bad, he thought to himself. i could definitely get used to this. and he did, establishing a pretty solid side gig as a college student that could always use some extra cash.

speaking of college, suna wasn’t really one for parties. in fact, him attending the same party you were, being in the same room you were, and overhearing the only possible conversation that could possibly interest him, were all by complete coincidence. but damn, if he isn’t glad the fates aligned in his favor.

suna, in typical wallflower fashion, was standing against the wall, solo cup in hand, not doing much other than observing those around him and occasionally indulging in the flirtatious glances of a few other partygoers. thinking back, he wasn’t sure how he got so close to you and your friends, or why he was so keen on hearing what you had to say to them. all he knew then was that you were a familiar face from one of his classes, and you were irritatingly attractive. he could probably point to at least five different posts on his account in which he was thinking of specifically you, a person of definite sexual interest, while masturbating.

you’d been drinking, undoubtedly to the point of being tipsy, because there was no way you would’ve been talking about porn, especially at that loud of a volume in the middle of a party, sober. the few beers you’d downed had comfortably warmed your body, making your brain a little fuzzy and your actions a little more reckless. so when your friend had brought up the subject of pornography, you were quick to jump in.

“ya see,” you slurred, “for all the good stuff, ya needa be on twitter. your first mistake s’gunna be going on pornhub or xvideos or some dumb shit like that. you gotta be looking for the good kush on twitter. the homemade stuff. s’authentic and real.”

suna raised a brow at that, taking a short sip of his drink, curious as to what you were going to say next. 

“and once you’re on twitter, you gotta find some good,” you waved your hand vaguely, “content creators. ya know? some accounts you can rely on for all your needs.”

your friend asked you a question that suna couldn’t make out through the reverberating bass of the music.

“me personally? all right. this is my biggest secret, like, this guy is the holy grail of twitter porn. the user is...” 

suna nearly spit out the alcohol settling on his tongue as the username of his secret account escaped your lips. holy shit, he thought to himself, trying to control his quickening pulse. the idea of you using him to get off was way more arousing then he thought it could be. did you ever time your orgasm so that you both were cumming at the same time? did you stare with envy at his hand, wishing it was you? with nothing but your imagination and your fingers, did you pretend it was him looming over you, making you feel good?

his cock stirred impatiently in his pants. shit, i’ve got to chill the fuck out.

“i’m telling you, this man has the prettiest cock i’ve ever seen. like, you guys know, i hate sucking dick. ‘s the worse thing ever ‘cus their balls always smell like old cheese. but for this guy,” you rolled your eyes back dramatically, “i’d get on my hands and knees immediately. t‘so long and thick and curved and pink,” you gushed. “and his voice is so hot. i’d let him do anything to me.”

suna smirked from behind his cup. he likes you. maybe if you play your cards right, he’ll let you suck the pretty cock that you adore so much. and maybe if he plays his cards right, you’ll let him record it so he can watch it whenever he wants, and show off to his followers what a cockhungry slut you are.

making solo porn was getting boring, anyway.

>> part two 

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[writteninkat]

Greed | Ushijima x reader

summary: "I didn't like how my teammates watched you a while ago." He admits, his hands clenching on the counter.

"I don't think they understand how you're mine and only mine." He whispers against the shell of your ear, his hot breath tickling shivers down your spine.

f!reader

word count: 3.5k

warning: 18+, name calling if u squint (???)

a/n: this is a reminder that you are amazing, you are loved and you matter. | masterlist for 100 followers event

The boy's volleyball team never paid any attention to the girls as they were always busy with their own training and the two teams played and trained in their own separate indoor volleyball courts. But today is a little different. The floor of your team's court needs changing so the girls and boys have to train under the same roof for a week, and it'll be the first time seeing each other play.

Toshi knew you play volleyball, he knows you were the ace, as a matter of fact, his whole team knows as well. But they didn't know you were this good.

You throw the ball up high in the air, jumping as high as you can and throwing your hand forward, slamming it at the ball. The impact of your hand at the ball always felt so good, the heat and sting of it always gave you some kind of adrenaline and you loved the feeling.

The ball is hit so hard your teammates at the other side of the net barely had any time to react before it hit the wooden floors, giving your side a point.

You smile widely, catching the ball the coach throws at you for a second chance at serving. "Y/n calm the fuck down!" Your teammate yells, "We're not playing for real right now have some mercy!"

"If you can't receive my serves, how are you going to receive the serves from other school who'll surely be better than me?" You yell back, doing another jump float, your form tricking the other team as if you're doing another hard serve, causing them to step away from the net. Your palm then simply pushes on the ball, resulting it to barely go over the net. The players at the other side dives in to try and save the ball, but it hits the ground a second before they do.

The whistle is blown and your side of the court wins. "Y/n! You're a menace to society!" Your teammate jokingly yells, fake-crying on the floor making you giggle. You walk over to your duffel bag on the bleachers and take out your towel, oblivious to the many pairs of eyes on you.

Your short shorts always rode up your thighs and sometimes even ass whenever you played, so you hated wearing the uniform but your long shorts were jn the washer right now, you didn't really have much of a choice. Your uniform hugged your body perfectly, every curve and every hill accentuated by the two pieces of cloth around you.

Your boyfriend's team are bewildered by your skills. They never expected you, so sweet, so gentle and so kind towards them being able to produce such monstrous serves and spikes.

"Y/n!" You hear Tendou call, creating an immediate smile across your face. You loved Tendou, after dating his best friend, the two of you became so close and it's as if you two are best friends too. You watch him run towards you, volleyball in hand. "I never knew you played so good."

"You guys are too busy to watch me play. Why? Wanna join me sometime?" Tendou smiles at your offer, immediately nodding his head. "Yes! Please! Let's olay at my hou-"

"There's no way Y/n's playing with you." Wakatoshi says involuntarily, his eyes widening at his words as his teammates give him questioning stares. He never raised his voice before, nor has he spoken without being spoken to. "Unless! Unless I play with her first." He covers it up, looking away with the faintest blush across his face.

You tilt your head to the side, putting two on two together before smirking. Ah, my adorable, jealous boyfriend. Whatever am I supposed to do with you?

When practice finishes, you go your separate ways from the team. Unlike them who had homes to return to, your home is three hours away from the school and no way in hell were you traveling a total of six hours a day just to get feom and to your house. Getting a dorm in the campus seemed a much better idea, plus, it helped you spend more time with your boyfriend.

A hand snakes its way around your waist and despite sweating for three hours tonight, you can still smell a combination of the scent of your boyfriend's perfume and his shampoo. He smells minty and fresh from his shampoo and at the same time he also smells of lavender and sandalwood.

He continues to wrap both his arms around you as he stands from behind you, his forehead on your shoulder. "Want me to give you a massage once we get back?" You ask, placing a hand on his forearm.

Wakatoshi doesn't speak for a moment and you were beginning to think he fell asleep, but moments later he lifts his head up and takes another step forward, your eyes widening as you feel him poke at your ass.

"I just realised I've never seen you in your uniform before," He breathes out, "You look so sexy baby."

Heat rises up your face, your boyfriend's never said anything like that before. Sure, he once complimented how good yer legs look in shorts or how he likes seeing you so 'comfortable' without a bra on, butbhe's never been straightforward like this.

You can feel yourself creating a pool of slick in your underwear. God, this can not be fucking happening...

"Let's go to my dorm." His voice is an octave lower and he sounds out of breath. "Girls aren't allowed in your dorm building."

"I know most of the people in that building and they know me, they won't tell. So come on," he pulls at you, leading you to his building. He looks back at you, neediness and lust filling his eyes. "I need you right now."

Toshi didn't need to sound like he was begging, you were still going to follow him, but now that he sounds like he wants you so bad he can't control himself anymore, it's making you wanna run to his dorm and rip his clothes off.

You bite on your lower lip, letting him lead you to where his room is.

As you pass through a hall, you smile and wave shyly at some of the familiar faces you see, they look as if they've just seen a ghost. But can you blame them? Ushijima Wakatoshi is currently leading a girl to his room. This is the first time, it should be recorded in the hall of fame or something.

Once the both of you reach his door, which is at the bery end of the hall, Toshi takes his ID card, about to swipe it to unlock the door until he stops midway. He turns around and looks at you straight in the eye, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. I don't want to be force you."

You blink at him once, twice, thrice- you take the card from his fingers, quickly swiping it on the lock. You push your boyfriend inside the dorm before looking to your right where the boys in the hall still have their undivided attention at you. "It'll probably get loud, you guys play some music or something." You yell before entering the room and slamming the door behind you.

Immediately, you push your boyfriend onto the wall, leaning in to press your lips on his. Finally, being able to touch your boyfriend after a long day of tiring practice feels to freeing and good. A shiver runs up your spine when he licks your bottom lip, asking for entrance. When you grant it to him, he pushes his tongue inside your wet cavern, immediately exploring it like he's a curious speleologist.

His one hand grabs your waist, immediately being able to grab almost half of it given your size differences and his other hand cups your jaw, tilting your head to the side to gain better access.

Your hand travels down to the waistline of his sweatpants, pushing your hand inside, feeling strained cock from inside his underwear as your fingers skillfully stroke it.

"Mmmm-" You hum, pushing Toshi off lightly. "We need to take a shower first, we've been sweaty for hours." You tell him, your hand still going up and down his shaft.

He sighs, pulling your hand out of his pants before pulling you inside his bathroom. Inside, he pins you against the wall, his lips on yours as he begins to lift your shirt, only breaking the kiss when a piece of clothing has to come off from around your heads. He pushes your shorts down along with your underwear, letting them pool around your ankles. He pulls your body closer to him, the tip of his clothed cock pressing against your wet folds making you moan into his mouth.

With one hand, he clasps the lock of your bra behind you, letting it fall on the floor along with your other clothes as his other hand begins toying with your pussy.

"You feel so wet down there. Was it when my teammates were staring at you?" He growls, making you lift a questioning brow. "What... What are you talking about?" You breathe out, sucking in your bottom lip in between your teeth as you grind your hips against his hand, greedy for more friction.

"You like it when my teammates are watching you? Watching as those small fuckin shorts get caught in between your ass? Hmm?" Toshi pushes a fingers inside making you mewl, your walls clenching around it, wanting more. "You like it when people watch you?"

You shake your head, moaning out profanities as you dig your nails on the skin of his shoulders, still rolling your hips and still wanting more of him.

"N-no, no! I only want you to watch me, Toshi!" You whine, moaning loudly once again when he pushes yet again another finger. He scissors his fingers inside you as your walls clench around them hungrily, greedy for more. "You're fucking mine, you got that?" He grits, thrusting his fingers inside you, hitting the particular bundle of nerves again and again leaving you screaming in pleasure with just two of his fingers.

"Yes! Yes, oh yes! I'm yours, Toshi! Fuck!" Your eyes roll to the back of your head, feeling yourself shake as you cum around his fingers, your cunt squelching around them. You breathe heavily, rolling your hips as you ride out your orgasm.

Toshi takes his fingers out, causing you to whine unconsciously when your hole begins tightening around nothing. He places his hands on either of your lower thighs, pulling you up and hugging your legs around his waist as he leads you to his shower.

He puts you down, making sure you can stand by yourself before hooking his thumbs on either side of his sweats, pulling them down, letting them pool around his ankles. Your gaze is immediately on his member, it's looks so hard and red, the size much bigger than usual and precum is currently seeping out of it.

"Like what you see?" Toshi smirks, this whole side of him completely taking you off guard. You love it. You twist the shower knob on before getting on your knees before him. He steps forward towards you, watching you as you take his dick into your small hands.

You look up at him from below, opening your mouth as widely as you can, rolling your tongue out. You begin by giving his precum-covered head some kitten licks, cleaning it up beforetaking half of his length in your mouth. You hollow your mouth, pushing your head lower as you feel his tip already hit the back of your throat.

"Yeah, take that dick like you want it for dinner. My cockslut..." He hisses, taking you by the hair. He tugs on a fistful of your hair, causing you to roll your eyes back in pleasure and moan loudly, the vibration stirring your boyfriend up even more. He begins thrusting his hips slowly, throwing his head back as you play with his balls and the rest of him that you couldn't take in your mouth.

"That's right, lap up my cock so fucking good, angel. That's right- ah! oh god..." His breathing becomes irregular and his thrusts slowly become more frantic. The tip of his dick continues abusing the back of your throat and tears begin to pool on the corners of your eyes, your cunt dripping wet at the thought of your boyfriend face fucking you at this moment.

Your hand plays with your pussy, drawing circles around and on the clit, chasing after Toshi so the two of you can cum together. "That's right, you're mine. This mouth is mine, and I'm not fucking sharing you with anyone." He seethes, his thrusts getting sloppier and sloppier by the second until he thrusts particularly deep inside your mouth, the tip of his dick going down your throat as he cums inside you, hot liquid going down your throat has your pussy clenching around your own fingers.

He pulls out, watching as you swallow his load until your mouth is empty of his white seed. The corner of Toshi's hand twitches into a smirk as he wipes a thumb over your bottom lip, immediately you suck on it as you look up at him teasingly.

"Let's wash up, darling." He pulls you up, taking his shampoo bottle and squirting a small amount on his palm, wiping it on your hair continuously until it begins to bubble up. He then proceeds to pour his body wash all over your body, hands roaming around you.

He presses kisses on the shell of your ear as he massages and squeezes your breasts, pinching and pulling at your nipples before going down and washing your slippiery folds. He copies what he did to your breast down to your ass, kneading them like fine bread before guiding you when the water is hitting. As you wash off the soap suds, he pours the same kind of shampoo on his head, combing his fingers through his soap-sud covered hair before following it by lathering his soap all over his body. His hands go up and down his well defined abs and pecks, teasing you as he slowly trails it down to his shaft.

He watches you watch him clean himself, letting you pull him closer to you, letting himself be hit by the running water. Once all the soap is rinsed off, you step away from him and take a towel, drying off your hair infront of the mirror.

You watch in the reflection as Toshi walks out of the shower and towards you, his usual indifferent expression across his face. He runs his haze down your figure before pulling on your towel, setting it down on the counter.

He leans forward, trapping you between him and the counter as he places both of his hands on either sides of your body. "I didn't like how my teammates watched you a while ago." He admits, his hands clenching on the counter. "I don't think they understand how you're mine and only mine." He whispers against the shell of your ear, his hot breath tickling shivers down your spine.

"Why won't you make me yours?" You challenge him, looking at him dead in the eye. He looks at you for a second, two seconds, three- he spins you around, pressing his lips against yours.

"You're playing a really dangerous game, darling, and I'm not in the best mood tonight." He growls through the kiss, his tongue more aggressive and lips harsher than usual. "Show me how to play it, maybe I'll get to know the rules and it won't be as dangerous as you say it is." You shoot back, running your hands all over his naked torso, feeling ever elevation and dip of his sculpted chest and abs underneath the pads of your fingertips.

Toshi growls into the kiss, turning you around once again and pushing you down on the counter. He presses his tip against your dripping folds, slowly entering you as to not hurt you in any way. He lets you adjust to his size for a few moments and the moment you begin rolling your hips, he combs his fingers through your damp hair, pulling on it and forcing you to see yourself being fucked in front of the mirror.

He thrusts relentlessly into you, the tip of his cock hitting places your fingers never hit before. Your jaw hangs open as you moan loudly, taken in a trance at the feeling of your boyfriend abusing the certain bundle of nerves inside you.

Toshi lifts a leg up on your side, the feeling becoming more and more overwhelming as his thrusts become deeper, much faster and harder. Your walls clamp around him tightly, making him click his tongue. "Yeah that's it, this pussy is all fucking mine, isn't it."

He pulls at your hair, letting go of it before cupping your face, forcing you to look at yourself in the mirror. "Look at you. Look at how lewd you are right now. You feeling good clamping down on my cock like that?" He asks, his thrusts never once slowing down. The feeling becomes overwhelming to the point where you couldn't form words, and instead you nod your head as to not make a fool out of yourself.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel the knot tighten in your belly, your jaw hangs open as drool begins to drip out the corner of your mouth. Your boyfriend breathes heavily into your ear, "Wanna cum? You wanna cum right now?"

"Ye-yeah... yeah fuck...wanna...wanna cum... let... let me...cum...." You lose your capability to form coherent sentences and capability to talk. "I'm fucking you so dumb right now, aren't I?" Toshi smirks, shoving two of his fingers inside your mouth, pressing them on your tongue as he watches you make a mess out of yourself.

Your moans fill the bathroom completely and you feel yourself hanging by a thread, simoly waiting for a word, that one ward that'll have you releasing so hard your legs are for sure going to give out. Just one word-

"Alright my darling, you deserve this." Toshi growls into your ear, letting go of your face in the process. "Cum."

You cum all over his cock, your clenching walls trying to milk him of his own release. Your back arches and toes curl as your boyfriend continues thrusting inside you, thrusts becoming sloppy and uneven as well as his breath.

Once you finish, he pulls out, cumming all over your ass, hot white ropes of his release reaching all over your ass, back and some even on your hair. He moans loudly, throwing his head back as he presses his length on your ass. The two of you stay there panting for a good minute, soaking in what you just did before Toshi begins pulling away. He looks at his artwork on you, mentally patting himself and telling himself 'good job' before he snakes an arm around your limp body.

"Come on, I'll wash you up." He carries you back to the shower, once again going through the process of soaping your body to make sure you're clean before setting you down on his counter. You flinch and hiss at the contact of your pussy on his counter, it hurt.

Toshi kisses you all over you face, muttering apologies about being too harsh in return you tell him it wasn't his fault at all. He dries up your body and hair, letting you brush your teeth before carrying you to his bed. He dresses you up in his clothes and takes out your special kit- basically a box full of skin care products in case you slept over.

"I'll do your skin care for you, just lay down and relax yourself. He says, sitting cross legged on the floor as he rummages through the products inside the box. You look at him, smiling to yourself and asking yourself how the hell you got so lucky to score someone like him. "Do you want charcoal or a strawberry mask tonight?" He asks, holding up two of your favorite mask packs.

You place your hand on his cheek, caressing it softly. "I love you." You whisper out, his eyes widening as it catches him off guard. Toshi feels his heart sink to his tummy as butterflies flutter and dance all over it. He smiles, a faint blush across his cheek. "I love you more." He kisses the tip of your nose.

Toshi then proceeds to just stare at you for a few moments before looking like he snaps out of his trance. A deep blush takes over his face as he buries his face on your chest in embarrassment. You laugh loudly, asking him what was going on.

"You're too cute, I'm never sharing you or this side of you to anyone." He mumbles against your chest, making you smile widely. He turns his head to the side, eyelids halfway down, "I'm greedy for you and only you. Never sharing you with anyone, ever."

[jiminrings]

OKAY LISTEN idk if someone or you already planned sth like this but how about y/n finally decides to confess/tell jk but someone else claims to be her before she could do it so * cue to the angst bc y/n sees the whole thing/she hears from her friends * and ofc koo eventually finds out bc that b*tch doesn't even have the fucking lunchboxes 😑

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo's the three-peat king for having the best research papers, but he's the worst when it comes to believing the right person

"i think i'm gonna tell him."

you say it to no one in particular, really, but you hear yoongi rISING from his nap on the couch

it wasn't meant to wake him at all

it was just an epiphany of sorts that popped into your head

physically felt as if your head would just bursT if you didn't say it out loud to affirm your own thoughts lmao

"for real???" he's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, very evident that he wouldn't wake up to finish his thirteen pending assignments but he 10/10 would wake up to hear your epiphany

yoongi is awake for the action!!!! lmao does professor roux from calculus think that he wakes up at the morning and doing shapes (or whatever they teach at calc) is the fIRST thing in his mind????

"interesting," he nods solemnly when you nod your head, reaching out for a fist bump before he plops to your shoulder, "i suggest dressing like a virgin wearing H&M when you confess. it would hit close to home."

yoongi's the touchy affectionate one between the two of you but you'll forgive him bc he's still sleepy

NOOOOOOO

jungkook doesn't look like a virgin wearing H&M :((((

his clothes aren't from there lol

"pass."

"say that you're a top verified contributor both in quora and brainly."

PLEAAAAAASE SJWHSHWHHWV

"nice idea," you snort as yoongs genuinely thinks that it'd get jungkook to propose on the spot, "but no cigar."

"pretend to love big bang theory."

"you're getting onto something here."

"your hobby is fact-checking rick and morty."

"yoongi wow you are on fIRE today-"

"your guilty pleasure is not wearing protective gear during experiments."

"where is this coming from??"

"OH!!!! i'll pretend to mug him or something and you can attack me!!!"

....

??????

yeah yoongi's train of thought just crashed

you were pretty sure he was going on a science theme there wHY DID IT DERAIL

yoongi looks confused because you look confused, as if he didn't just give you the mindblowing idea,, free of charge

lol but no he really didn't

"i'm not doing any of that shit, yoongs."

"oh yeah???" he squints at you and hollows his cheeks, taunting you entertainingly while he worms his way to your lap to nap again

"what are you planning to do?"

holy sHIT this is nerve-wracking

she feels like she's gonna pass out the whole time that she's been rehearsing this in her head

she's been waiting outside the classroom for twenty minutes now and the bell finally rang and she can't believe it!!!! omg is it game-time now

everyone's filing out of the room and she could just feel that jungkook would come out of the room last-

ALRIGHT FUCK THE BELL RANG

you could do this!!!!

everyone's filing out of the room and you know in your heart that jungkook would stay behind, his routine being to politely chat with the professor before he leaves

you're a lil nervous alright

you're scanning the room and there's only a few people left and your eyes instinctively go to the mini desk next to the door and-

FUCK

DID YOU FORGET TO BRING IT HOME YESTERDAY??????

goddamn it

yesterday was when coach jeong was mad because someone from your team just hAD to bring beer!!! and not even have the common sense to put it on a discreet thermos or sth and you know!!!! to not drink it in public or in front of the coach!!!!

doing laps on the oval field will now make you hurl on command just by thinking about it

you physically did not have the cognizance to go and fetch the lunchbox to wash it,,,, or like even move at all

FUCK IT

how are you gonna swipe the lunchbox now? now when the professor's packing up, jungkook's loitering around the classroom, and there's this girl who's-

wait

who's this girl??

who is she and wHY IS SHE EYEING THE LUNCHBOX

fuck it!!! here goes nothing

she's stepping completely into the room and making sure her block heels generate enough clacking,, hands already moving in practiced moments as she attempts in making it seem like she's rushedly putting the lunchbox bag into her tote — as if it's from there, and she's always done this

jungkook hears noises coming from the back of the room, eyes widening before he comes up the stairs in record time

"no. get your own."

he grips the girl's wrist, about to pry off her hands from his lunchbox

he hears her giggle sweetly, the melody being something he's heard before

"i did. after all, i did get you these."

:O

"hyeji?"

hyeji's a pretty girl!!! a nice girl in jungkook's year that wears fit dresses and cartier bangles :D

she stands out really, sometimes literally because she appears in the school's flyers and advertisements

"hyeji," jungkook breathlessly connects the dots including the fact that she looks caught in the act; holding his lunchbox, her tote bag open, and a peek of another completely different lunchbox in her other hand, "i-it's been you this whole time?"

hyeji blushes, sheepishly tucking her perfectly shiny and neat hair behind her ears, "you caught me then."

kook laughs both in nervousness and giddiness, pushing his glasses up and suddenly conscious that he should've worn contacts, "b-but how? we don't share this class."

:O

hyeji bursts into a giggle, blushed cheeks staining further than the five minutes she tried getting the perfect amount

"r-right! kinda amazing what depths you'd go for a person you like, hm?"

jungkook is about to pass out

HE'S PUT IN A SITUATION

a situation that he likes and is too giddy to find a reply for

he apparently doesn't need a reply, because a chair scrapes harshly against the floor and it brings him down to reality immediately

you cannot fucking believe what you just witnessed

you stand abruptly from the seat you've been frozen in with a great deal of urgency because you cAN'T stand to be in this room any longer

they actually forgot that the two of them aren't alone

that you're still here

little miss hyeji's just as shocked

you feel stupid and even more stupid that you're still holding a stupid notebook you even decorated

it has a doodle in the front and all the remaining pages are of the copies you've replicated on jungkook's sticky notes — the same ones you've been trying to make perfect just for him

"y/n!" he sputters when your backpack accidentally leans too much to your side and hits him on the way out

"move."

you’re feeling everything but fine and god you just hated that you always willed yourself to move oN

you’re beyond mad when you put on your jersey!!!

you’re irrevocably dejected when you put on your cleats!!!!

you feel cheated on when you zip up your duffel and walk all the way to the field!!!

it’s a combination of the type of frustration that makes you want to move plus the type that paralyzes you, the whole thing unlike anything you’ve ever felt before

you’re clearly in your head and frankly, you’re just too good

too good that there's no game at all because the only thing happening is you scoring

there's no passing going on or the sort

everyone is just :O looking at their captain to be in the most furiously determined state that they’ve ever seen you in

you don’t even realize that you’re the oNLY one moving in the whole field

“alright, alright — jesus christ! go to the bench and sort your head out, captain,” coach jeong literally has to JOG over to your spot to jolt you

oh there he is again

jaehyun just had to bench you didn’t he

sometimes it’s lost on you that jaehyun, just like seokjin, used to be your senior

he hated juniors with a burning passion and you’re the ONLY one he’s taken a tolerance for

((you lent him your umbrella and it coincidentially had to be a bad day for him tHEN that made him like you))

you’re having none of it though because this time, you’re the one who has the bad day and the captain title does nothing to appease you

“sure, coach.”

you mumble just as lively and walk to completely the fURTHEST side of the bleachers, being so far out that you could barely see your team

what are you supposed to do? simmer in the thoughts you so badly didn’t want to have in silence??????

"y/n?"

the voice you least expected to hear perks up right next to you

what the hell is jungkook doing here now??

he looks lost, two hands clinging onto his backpack straps before tentatively looking at you again

“did i do anything to upset you?”

so he wants to ask that?

you snort automatically, suddenly wishing that you didn’t walk this far because you can’t make an excuse that jaehyun’s calling for you

"because my bag accidentally hit you on the way out? no, jungkook."

jungkook knits his brows in question, seemingly take offense to what you’ve just said to hom

"we're not exactly associated for me to be mad at you, are we?" you emphasize even further, not caring the least bit that your words have an edge to them

he deadpans, pursing his lips before sarcastically smiling at you

".... so you're upset at me?"

://

jungkook takes your silence for him to delve further, not paying attention to how your eye is begging to twitch at him

"i asked if i did anything to upset you, and you said no. but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't. you could be upset at me even if i didn't do anything to you."

wow

you sound like a real fucking nerd jungkook

"do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now?"

kook barely has a solid inch on you yet the nagging feeling that he’s belittling you makes you grip your fists tight, posture wavering

"so you do admit that you're upset at me?"

he’s not the most patient person either but something about you and the situation right now just makes him tick a little faster

your eyes narrow at what he’s aiming to get at, your hand on your hip feeling heavy at this point

"what does it matter to you if i'm upset or not? we are not-"

"i am associated to you!!! even to a degree!!! you walked me home!"

jungkook is the one who breaks first and he doesn’t look fazed to have opposed you so loudly, still standing by himself

"i would walk anyone home."

"no you wouldn't-"

"i would walk anyone who was as vulnerable and as anxious as you were, jungkook!!"

it is true

you’d walk anyone home within reason regardless if they were jungkook or not!!!

the guy in question only looks at you straightly, brows not stubborn but still just as unrelaxed

:((

"good to know. then you're not upset at me, and i didn't do anything to upset you."

"sure."

you only say just to spite him, about to turn your back and leave him completely to go back to your practice game

jungkook surprises you again and flips a switch just as quick as your mini argument of sorts escalated

"anyways!! i'm sorry for being a little off when i interviewed you that day. i got a 100 on that assignment, by the way :))"

what?

what’s he still doing here?

he’s talking about his grades and whatnot to you as if literally twenty seconds ago did nOT happen!!

"why are you still-"

"and the one who's been giving me my lunchboxes confessed to me today!! for hyeji to be the girl giving me them, it makes perfect sense."

you shrug away the weirdness that jungkook’s moved on from the argument as fast as this, trying a take two for a peaceful conversation

this time, you’re the one who unknowingly flips a switch at her name — something so foreign and sudden yet something you quickly grew to hate

"i wouldn't be so trusting if i were you."

that seems to hit a nerve on him again, making him scoff in reply

"good thing you aren't me then."

what is ON with him????

"watch it. i'm your senior, kid."

you’re more irritated than the first and second time around that you’ve been agitated this day

"why? are you normally this self-absorbed that you wouldn't trust a girl who's confessed??"

self-absorbed?

you aren’t the most selfless person ever but god do you know for a fact that you’re not vain as jungkook’s insisting you to be

you hate him.

you hate this version of him that isn’t the same jungkook you’ve known to like ever since the start of the semester

"same thing as polygraphs not being a hundred percent reliable. anyone could tell the truth as long as you ask the wrong questions," you detail on further because jungkook loves details, right? might as well give him several

"or did you even ask?"

jungkook scowls as if you’ve insulted his mother and his entire lineage, face contorting into everything but warm

"what does it matter to you? didn't you just tell me that we aren't associated? why are you projecting all your moaning on hyeji?"

WHAT

WHAT????

"you know what? maybe i am associated to you. i think i'd also tell this to everyone i'd walk home — maybe you shouldn't be too trusting, huh? maybe you shouldn't just let anyone walk you home."

the tears this time are more insistent to come out this time but you’d rather dIE than for jungkook to stain your pride like this

"no one should walk me home, besides you? is that what you're trying to say?"

no!!

for fuck's sake you aren't even finished with your point!!

before you could continue, jungkook shakes his head at you — the most disappointing shake of his head that it curses you soft

"what am i even doing? you wouldn't understand."

he closes the distance that’s been alarmingly shorter throughout the whole time, jungkook being the one to break it

"because no one gives you lunchboxes. no one exerts effort in making you cheerful — no one wants to go the extra mile for you, and no one wants to walk you home."

he's insulting you right to your face and that’s when your dam breaks, lips quivering impossibly as you stare him down with a genuinely pained gaze you didn’t know you carried

"you wouldn't know what i feel, because no one likes you."

jungkook gets the last word in.

he leaves you in the same field he's first approached you in nervousness.

today, he leaves it differently.

sweat isn't the only thing on your face but instead it’s the frustrating hot tears you haven’t had in awhile

your fists are balled but there's no power to the anger behind it

you’re almost always alone outside the company of the closest friends you’ve ever had — but this is the only time that you truly felt that you are alone.

today's a good day to give up on jungkook.

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride. 

[utterlyhopeful-fics]

Shotgun Wedding

MASTERLIST

Angel Reyes x Reader

Word Count: 1.1k 

Warnings: angsty angst, language, s3 spoilers, (gif not mine!)

Marisol Reyes’s diamond sparkled underneath the grim lighting of the Mayans clubhouse. The diamond she always imagined resting on her ring finger. Y/N stared blankly at the beaming woman glued next to Angel. Y/N tried her damndest to conceal her heartache keeping a calm demeanor. As if cemented in the very place she stood, Y/N didn’t dare move a muscle at the abrupt announcement. 

Her ears rung horrendously blocking out the unwelcomed laughter and cheers. Her blood simmered rising in temperature every passing second, but Y/N swore her heart stopped beating the moment Angel wouldn’t…couldn’t look at her. Tranq’s eyes searched the room finding Y/N all too easily, a familiar sadness rested behind her eyes showcasing her inner misery.

Nails’s smile continued to irk Y/N as her fingers wrapped around an empty beer glass.

Angel’s voice boomed through the room next; “That ain’t it..we’re havin a baby!”

Hoots and hollers broke out across the room celebrating the surprising news.

Y/N froze too stunned to glance up from the wood counter she was currently staring holes in. Ezekiel’s eyes followed suit; pity filled and genuine disbelief. Didn’t seem like big bro told him either. Suddenly glass shattered forcing Y/N’s gaze downwards, blood danced down her palm moving delicately towards her wrist. Two shards embedded deeply into her hand as her eyes bulged at the growing mess.

Tranq moved quick grabbing a towel. He hesitated sizing up the shards and their removal. His lips moved but Y/N didn’t hear a thing. A minor pinch resonated from her palm glancing down at the removed bloodstained pieces. Angel chanced a glimpse towards Y/N knowing the damage had been long done.

“Y/N?”  

She merely nodded applying more pressure to the cut.

Her voice dead-panned void of any emotion; “Shit, I spaced. Sorry bout the glass.”

His brow scrunched upwards at the overtly monotonous tone. Meanwhile, Y/N busied herself wiping up the crimson liquid. Not more than five seconds later her back was to him as she rushed to the back room. Tranq tailed her closing the door behind him. Her chest heaved unable to catch her breath as she paced in circles.

“Say somethin, anything…”

Y/N stopped, her eyes pierced his gentle ones; “Did you know?”

Without hesitation, Tranq answered; “No idea.”

He sounded just as hurt as she did causing concern to spread throughout her shivering frame; “I thought you and Nails were—”

“Me too. Guess not.”

Unshed tears begged for release but Y/N fought harder. Her voice sounded broken, laced in pain; “I hate him.”

Tranq rubbed her shoulder soothingly; “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N.”

Her shoulders deflated; “It’s not your fault. It’s fucking mine for giving him another god damn chance.”

“Stop. They made their choice. Does it fucking suck? Hell yeah, but it’s outta our hands for good. Don’t let that shit spread.”

“Your optimism is annoying as hell.”

His hand grazed over her chin keeping her attention; ““He doesn’t deserve you; he never fucking did.”

“And she’s a total bitch for blowing you off and running back to him the second he turns her damn direction.”

“I don’t want to hurt like this anymore, T. Angel will never choose me and that’s a hard pill to swallow. But seriously? Seriously? He fucking parades her around, proposes to her, and then knocks her up?! What fresh hell did I walk into tonight?”

“You and me both.”

Her fingers carefully grazed along the liquor bottles aligning the farthest wall; “I think I’m going to miss you the most.”

Confusion clouded his thoughts; “You—you’re leaving?”

“I have to. I can’t just stay here and watch him play house. Angel’s left me no other choice.”

Tranq closed the gap between them bringing her into his chest. Her arms wrapped around him trying to memorize every possible detail.

“I still have a phone, ya know. I’ll keep you in the loop, promise.”

“You are worth finding. Worth knowing. And undoubtedly worth loving. Don’t let him take that away.”

“You, my friend, have a way with words. This isn’t goodbye.”

“Just a see you later?”

The hallway light shone brightly as the door swung ajar. Picking up one foot in front of the other, Y/N stride didn’t falter instead focusing her energy straight ahead on the exit until an unwelcoming voice echoed out for her.

“Y/N, wait up!”

She began a light jog attempting to make a clean getaway. Heavy footsteps clogged about alerting her of another presence. Y/N fumbled for her keys but not before Angel Reyes caught up.

“There’s nothing left to say, Reyes. Your announcement made that crystal clear. Now go the fuck away.”

“At least gimme a minute to explain.”

“Explain what? How you told me you loved me TWO DAYS AGO and then proceeded to propose to your fuck buddy? Oh, congrats on the baby by the way. I hope you both burn in hell.”

Angel held her arm keeping her in place; Y/N fought against his grasp; “You’re a selfish, irredeemable shell of a bastard.”

“I know.”

“I love you, all of you so damn much. But I’m sick and tired of the bullshit. You’ve obviously made your decision, Gel. I gotta get out of here for a while.”

Guilt ran down his spine seeping into his stiff bones. Angel opened his mouth but no words followed. Not once in the last twelve hours had he stopped running at full speed. Now with the dust finally settling, Angel’s actions finally caught up with him.

“C’mon, don’t be like that.”

Her jaw nearly hit the ground at the audacity of this asshole; “I bet your fiancé is looking for you. Should probably head back.”

The words held a finality Angel wasn’t sure he was ready to embrace. His mind screamed at him to be honest, to tell Y/N she was the reason he got outta bed every day. But then Nails told him she was pregnant and the rest of the world became a blur. Angel never actually expected to lose Y/N. Now his reality had shifted, altered on its very axis and there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it. The car door creaked open and shut in record time. Blurred headlights were all that remained as the distance grew further and further between them. Crickets chirped far too loudly as the silence set in. It was time for Angel to let Y/N go even if his heart resisted.

 ~~~~~~~

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