#I also really like that they made Tigger cat-like in his kills

[fandomtrashfox]

Blood and Honey 2 = FNAF movie

Watched both the FNAF movie and Blood and Honey 2, and you know what? ...I feel like these movies should've traded tones.

When you hear a 'Winnie the Pooh horror movie', I personally think 'Oh that's silly', so the tone of the FNAF movie would've probably been more appropriate. So, it's horror, but it's silly horror, like the modern IT movie (Chapter 1) with the weird nonsensical 'cleaning up the bathroom' scene. It also would've helped a lot of the goofier dialogue jokes they tried to make. (The whole 'Let's Bounce' thing, for instance.)

Meanwhile, FNAF is a horror franchise at it's core about children being lured away, murdered, then stuffed into suits where they rotted until they possessed them. ...That deserves a way, way more dark tone than we got in the FNAF movie imo.

Either way, I can confidently say that Blood and Honey 2 stole its plot from the FNAF movie, but despite that, I had more fun watching Blood and Honey 2 than I did watching the FNAF movie. The only parts I actually really had fun with the FNAF movie on were the cameos, tbh, which is definitely a bad sign. (Like another series I know, if the thing you enjoy about it is the references to the original source material, then it's not a good addition to the franchise.)

I know why FNAF is sillier, because the franchise for some reason is trying to appeal to kids, now, but still. You can make horror for kids that's kid-friendly while still being scary and interesting, guys, come on.

[sunflowergirl522]

Fat Cat

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie feeds strays and your cat gets out.

Word Count: 2033

A/n: Not my best work but enjoy it anyway? Also the Eddie Taglist may or may not open up after this one.

Eddie Masterlist

Eddie’s been feeding the strays around the trailer park for as long as he’s been living with his uncle. It started with one skinny kitten coming up to him on the porch while he was eating a hotdog. It let out the softest meow he’d ever heard and he didn’t even hesitate breaking a piece off and dropping it a few feet away from him. Over the years the amount of cats he was feeding grew and scraps of food and leftovers no one was gonna eat became cat food that Eddie went out of his way to get. 

Eddie was cleaning up the first time your cat trailed up to his trailer at night. It was one of Wayne's rules, if you’re gonna feed the whole neighborhood at least clean up at night so I don’t have to hear them when I’m trying to sleep. He happened to look up from where he was picking up the scattered pieces of cat food on the porch and came face to face with the fattest orange cat he’d ever seen. 

“Hello there. You look like you’ve already eaten five whole bowls.” The cat plopped down and just stared at him. “Oh alright, I guess a little more won’t kill you.”

“Oh my God!” You had rushed over as soon as you spotted Tigger scooping him up without even looking at the now wide eyed boy. “You’re such a fucking dick you know that?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh! Not you, sorry! I was talking to this fatass.” You finally looked away from the cat and met his eyes. “He recently learned that he can bust through the shitty screen door if it’s not locked. Were you about to give him food?” 

“Uh, I think so?” Eddie wasn’t completely sure what was happening exactly.

“I’m trying to keep him on a diet so hopefully he loses weight. I’m Y/n, just moved into the trailer over that way.” You motioned to a trailer behind you without looking before holding your hand out for him.

“Eddie.” He frantically brushed his hands off on his jeans before standing and taking your own. 

“This menace is Tigger and despite who he’s named after he’s the laziest piece of shit you’d ever see. Isn’t that right baby boy?” You brought his face up to yours as you cooed at the cat in your arms that was purring up a storm. “I’ll let you get back to what it was you were doing, bye Eddie see you around!” And with that you turned and hurried back to your trailer leaving Eddie to wish he’d said something, anything, else.

Since then Tigger has found his way over to Eddie’s trailer at least five more times, but most likely more because those are just times Eddie’s caught him when he’s getting home from work. He’s always quick to scoop the cat up before heading over to your place to drop him off. If you weren’t home he’d leave a note on your door saying he had Tigger and to come get him when you could. But when you were home you’d usher Eddie in and make him dinner as a reward for bringing your baby home. Usually it was some form of pasta but it was always one of the best meals Eddie’s had, and he made sure to tell you. 

“Listen all I’m saying is you’ve been in a suspiciously good mood lately and I don’t get why you’d hide a girlfriend from us.” Dustin says for what feels like the millionth time today but really is only the second, Mike asking earlier makes it three times total, as he follows Eddie to his trailer's door. 

“I’m not hiding a girlfriend. How many times do I have to tell you I don’t have one?” He groans as he fishes out his key to unlock it glancing over quickly to the porch. He does a double take when he recognizes the orange ball. 

“Hey there troublemaker!” He jumps from the stairs and steps to the porch tapping it to get the cat's attention. Tigger turns around at the sound and lets out a small sound while running to Eddie’s hand to be pet. “You get out again?”

“God fucking damnit!” Eddie can hear your yell from your trailer across the way thanks to the door being open and it being a quiet afternoon in the trailer park.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Eddie smiles as Tigger bumps his head into his hand knowing you’re about to make your way over.

“Are you gonna unlock the door anytime soon or what?” Dustin asks from where he’s been standing at the door.

“Eddie!” Your voice fills his ears before he can respond to Dustin and he turns his head to watch you come towards him, his smile bigger than Dustin’s ever seen. “Please tell me he came over here again.”

“Yep.” He moves out of the way to reveal the cat purring into his hand.

“Thank God! I really have to start locking the door so fatty stops coming over and eating all your food.”

“Don’t be mean.” Eddie snatches Tigger up before you can grab him, protectively holding him close to his chest. “He’s lost weight and deserves a little treat.” That was true, Tigger is now much smaller than he was when Eddie first saw him. Thanks to you taking him on walks, a feat you had to do with his treat bag in hand, and having him on the diet.

“You’re awful, oh my god!” You laugh through your words. “Stop spoiling him before he starts liking you more than he likes me.”

“What am I watching right now?” Dustin pulls the two of your attentions over to him. Eddie throws his head back suppressing a groan at the reminder that he was there at all. 

“Oh hello! I’m Y/n, and that’s my cat Tigger.” 

“I’m Dustin, Eddie’s best friend.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you Dustin.” You smile at the younger boy and Eddie clears his throat to bring your eyes back to him. 

“Has he been gone long?” He nods his head down at the cat in his arms. 

“I don’t know, probably not. I just got out of the shower and the door was cracked open so he must’ve escaped while I was in it.” You step closer to him so you can scratch Tigger behind his ears and Eddie’s heart picks up a bit at your closeness.  “Are you just getting home?”

“Yeah. I was unlocking the door when I spotted him.”

“Oh!” Your sudden exclamation has Eddie and Dustin both slightly jumping. “I finished your book! Let me take him home and I’ll come right back with it and you can give me the next one.” You take Tigger from his arms and hurry off to your trailer.

Eddie had let you borrow Fellowship of the Ring after you stopped by his trailer to talk to him after seeing him reading on the porch. You had noticed how the book looked like it’s been read more than once and Eddie mentioned it being his favorite series. You’re the one who asked to read it and he had shut the book and handed it to you right then and there. 

“So that’s what’s got you in such a good mood.” Dustin states as Eddie comes back up the steps to open the door. 

“Alright c'mon punk inside.” He holds the door open for his younger friend. 

“Why don’t you ask her out?”

“What makes you think I want to ask her out?” He desperately does but he’s not sure exactly how to. Being friends with a girl? That was always easy for him but going from friends to something else with girls? That was always something that was difficult for him but has become so much harder since the Vecna stuff last year seeing as people barely wanted to be seen around him if they weren’t before even after his name was cleared.

“The heart eyes you got the minute she came over and how it was like watching parents fussing over their child.” Eddie tinges pink at Dustin’s correct descriptions. 

“Just shut up and pick a movie. I gotta go find The Two Towers.”

Dustin’s looking through Eddie’s and Wayne’s limited pick of movies, wishing they had stopped by Family Video, when there’s a knock on the door. He knows that it has to be you and in that moment he comes up with a plan without thinking twice about it while he opens the door.

“Hi again!”

“Eddie wants to know if you wanna go on a date with him?”

“What?” Your eyes go wide and you step back a little bit as if the shock of hearing those words come out of Dustin's mouth was so strong that it forced you back. At the same time Eddie freezes in the kitchen, eyes basically bulging out of his head and his mouth agape. What he should do is grab Dustin by the back of his shirt and throw him back into the living room before trying to laugh it off but he can’t get himself to move, stuck in his spot book in hand and heart racing in his chest anxious for what Dustin might say next and how you’re going to react.

“He wants to take you out to dinner or something and then kiss you at your door. Maybe then introduce you to all his friends and move in together and have babies and-” Eddie rushes over and throws his hand over his friend's mouth who’s now on thin ice.

“Okay! That’s enough of that!” He awkwardly chuckles as he shoves Dustin off to the side. He peeks at you out of the corner of his eye before turning to look at you instead of glaring at Dustin when he sees the soft smile on your face.

“Here’s your book. I really really liked it and I can’t wait to read the next one.” Eddie takes your words as a signal that you’re just going to forget everything that was just said to you and he doesn’t know if he’s more disappointed or relieved that you’re not saying anything about it.

“Here.” He hands you the next book while taking the first one from you. “The first one’s my favorite but the rest are just as good.” 

“Hey Eddie?”

“Yeah Sweetheart?”

“There’s this movie coming out next week, The Princess Bride, you wanna maybe take me to see it? Then depending on how that goes we can kiss at my door and maybe you can introduce me to your friends.” Eddie’s mouth opens and closes a few times like a fish out of water as he tries to find the words too shocked to think of anything.

“Yeah, yes, I would love to take you out to see it!” He beams at you once he does find the right words and you return one of your own in response.

“Perfect then it’s a date! See you tomorrow probably.” After a quick finger gun and wave you’re hurrying back home to dance around in excitement with Tigger.

“Well, it looks like you should be thanking me.” Dustin says once Eddie steps back from the door and turns to him, arms crossing over his chest.

“Run.”

“What? But I totally just got you a date!” And yet Dustin’s realizing he may have taken it a little too far in the process of getting him said date.

“And I’ll give you a head start because of that. Starting…now.”

“Why don’t we just watch a movie and celebrate the accomplishment that just happened?”

“You’re wasting precious time.” And with that Dustin rushes out of the door Eddie hot on his heels.

“What happened to the head start?!”

“I lied!” With that he tackles Dustin to the ground, both boys laughing in the process of falling. “Thanks.” He punches his arm after a minute of them both just laying there on the ground and stands up offering a hand. “Now let’s go have that movie night you begged me for.” Dustin rolls his eyes following Eddie back inside.

Eddie Taglist(Closed): @sadbitchfangirl​ @notbeforelong​​ @munsonswhore86​​ @navs-bhat​ @emotionaldreamer​ ​​​​​ @fangirling-4-ever​  @gaysludge​ @audhd-dragonaut​ ​​ ​@eddiethesexy​ @mazerunnerrose​ @tvserie-s-world​ @midnightsgetawaycar  @goldylions  @spacedoutdaydreamer @mushroomelephant @saramelaniemoon @kaylshunter @nojamsonmytoast @vintagehellfire @esoltis280 @spikedhe4rt @let-love-bleeds-red @siriuslysmoking @toobsessedsstuff @alana4610 @gretavanfleas @sparkletash @aactuaaltraash @spookyemorockbabe

Everything Taglist: @matchamunson @bubsonnobx @practicalghost @katsukis1wife @crustyowos @yourfavdummy @protecteddiemunson4vr @kennedy-brooke

[myckicade]

Mayans M.C. - 04x10 - 'When the Breakdown Hit at Midnight'

So much. So much. I'm on my lunch break, so let's just dive right in, shall we?

Spoilers Under the Cut

Phffffff. Okay. I want to start with something that I loved. TIG. Omigosh, how I have missed Tigger. He was the breath of humour that this whole series has been missing. (That's one of my Major Gripes, is how deep and serious-Nah, y'know what? Let's gripe in a few paragraphs). When he was greeted with a, "Hi, Beautiful", I knew what kind of scene we were walking into. "Don't you dare kink-shame me." I... I loved that line, so much. I picked up on a bit of a tonal shift in his character, which I choose to attribute to different writers, but most of it felt like Classic Tig. I just... I have missed him, so dearly.

That leads me right into something else that I loved, which was Tig's discussion with Alvarez. Oh, hell, was that scene beautiful, and much needed. Mn. They know what they are getting into, and that they are stuck in a younger man's game. But, if they want to survive said game, they still have to play, age be damned. They're on opposing sides, and they can't do a damned thing about it (despite Marcus' best attempts).

Speaking of Alvarez... How dare they? That even the ones who know what war will cost them, and have wanted to avoid it from the start, are suddenly willing to go all-in? I can understand some of them changing their minds, but... everyone? I'm actually glad that Taza wasn't around for that one. (And, yeah, I may have missed a bit of that scene, because I was outside feeding the cat that some asshole dropped off. I want him to trust me, so he was my top priority... Then, my dogs barked, off and on, through the rest of it). Anywho, I'm honestly relieved that Alvarez is out, if only for his own sake. I don't know that it will keep, and I don't believe it will save him, but, for right now, I can breathe a little easier.

I hope Letty is breathing a bit easier, now, too. I'm so, so glad she said her peace at the funeral. While she's absolutely right that the Club got him killed... He was also a grown-ass man, who made his own decisions. He knew the risks he was taking, and he put himself where he was, but, BUT!! It was someone else's shit-show that cost him his life. Letty needed to say it, though, and she deserved that moment. I'm glad they wrote it in for her. She has a piece of Coco, with that chartreuse Nova... And, I loved her shake of the Magic 8-Ball keychain.

Kudos to Louie for being a decent dude... Y'know, for someone who sells drugs, and produces porn. (I mean zero offense, as any of y'all's business practices are your own, and this is just about one dude).

Back to Letty. I'm also plenty relieved that she went after Hope. Y'all know I haven't been Hope's biggest supporter, but she worked so hard to get herself right. I didn't want to see her spiral back down, thinking that nobody gave a shit about her. I'm hoping they stick around the series (y'know, if). There's still so much potential for the both of them. (Gabby's death, Isaac's return, there's a little something for each of them).

Other than that, was much else really resolved?

No Taza. Whelp. Okay.

Miguel Knows. It's about damned time, too. I guess I was hoping for a bit... more to the reveal, you know? I didn't want to see Felipe get shot, and we still have no evidence that he wasn't, but it might have lent itself to the storytelling. (Again, I'm glad he didn't get hurt, that we know of, because I fucking love him). If all goes well, I'm hoping Felipe gets one son that's worth a damn. They can't all be duds with the father-son relationships. (At least I never wrote that EZ/Miguel fic, huh?).

I don't really even want to get into the deal with Packer's younger brother being... Ugh. I'm sorry. Unless I missed a whole lot of somethings, this bit feels like sloppy writing. (Any Nip/Tuck fans out there? The Carver seasons? Yah-huh. That kind of sloppy). I hope someone takes care of him, in Manny's name.

MANNY. Boy, am I steamed. What the fuck did they put him in there for, just to snatch him away? And, so violently? So horrifically? This is what I am talking about, with sloppy writing. We already hate Isaac. They didn't need to force the point home, quite like that. I was kind of hoping he really was a Fed, y'know? There's still a chance that he could have been, and that his death will be a catalyst for the Sons to get looked into, right along with the Mayans. Still doesn't fix the evil that they've committed. So devastating.

Yeah, I'm still talking about Manny. I'm honestly kind of heartbroken over him.

My heartbreak extends, next, to Creeper. How dare that bitch? The softest target. She basically just called him the weakest link in the chain, and I want to take a chain to her. Now, he's doing what he can, as the most exposed and vulnerable member of the Club, to try and protect them. He probably thinks it's what he has to do, as the cause of the issue, and as the most disposable dude in the bunch. GRRR. I'm so fucking mad for the man!!!!

Mm. Again, I had some emotions, last evening.

So, in the category of little things that irked me...

Did El Banquero have an actual point and purpose, or...?

Is that what Potter wanted of Adelita? Ah, why? I don't get it. I mean, sure, Power Broads, and all that, but.

They're really forcing this Old Lady feel on Sofia, huh?I know, I'm not feeling it.

And, now... The EZ-shaped elephant in the room. What the fuck is he doing?! Once he darkened Bishop's door, it was obvious the fix was in. I was hoping he'd fail with his vote, but... Yeah. I could complain for an hour about how much this anti-hero-turned-villain arc is pissing me off, but I think my opinions on that are in good order. Now, El Presidente can deal with whoever torched his selling point. I want to say it was Angel, but with that form... Hmmm...

I want to close with this little beauty, for anyone who hasn't, or even has seen it. See it again. I'm still in stitches over it.

Until Season Five...?

P.S. Sally made it, and that makes me happy.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #454

“last thing i remember, i was running for the door  /  i had to find the passage back to the place i was before”

Last thing you bought online? Did you like it? I have no clue. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? I don't know. Public transportation isn't a big thing here at all, and even whenever I get my license, my partner needing to get somewhere while I'm needed elsewhere could be problematic. I think it would also depend on why they don't want their license. Like if they had a traumatic wreck, I couldn't blame them. How would you react if your artwork became famous? That'd be fucking amazing. Would you get your nipples pierced? I've briefly considered it. I ultimately wouldn't, though. How many people know your birthday? Without the assistance of Facebook, a few, I guess. My immediate family, Sara, uhhhh... Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in? Yes, and it worked. For the better, though. He had a bad reputation. Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial? Ha, yes, this one time with Girt. It was a vacuum infomercial. We were just really bored at my place and... okay, I have no justification for watching that whole thing lmao. What is your current MySpace song? I still remember it was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmaooo. What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich? Ham. Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with? Sara or Jason, idk. How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I don't care. Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins? No. What was the most disturbing thing you have ever heard your mother say? Mom and my older sister got in a fight once and Mom yelled that she was a slut. I don't know why, but... it never left me, and I GUARANTEE it never left Ashley (who is not a "slut," by the way). This was when she was a teenager, so it's been many years and I can absolutely promise you Mom regrets it, big time. I don't even have to ask. Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? Mark and meerkats, ha ha. Chewy chocolate-chip cookies: like or dislike? Chewy is the way to GO. If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them? I wouldn't care. I'm pansexual, anyway. Anyone can be attractive to either gender's clothes to me. I think assigning clothes to a specific gender is dumb, anyway. Do you think your grandmother is/was beautiful? I only remember how my maternal grandmother looked, and yeah, she was a pretty lady. Which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on? Mark, ha ha. I know way too much on a person I've never met. When was the last time you got all dolled up? Not since last October when I did a witchy Halloween shoot with friends. Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.) No. Do you have a criminal record? No. Last person you took a nap with? Sara, years ago. Well, unless you count my cat. He always comes running when he hears me getting comfy in bed, ha ha. Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well? Yes, and angry because I want to stop whatever it is making her cry, but I usually can't. Do you think someone likes the same person you like? I have no idea. Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? God no. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes; I've adopted and rehomed pets from there. What about eBay? Mom's bought stuff from there. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It's just as exhausting as shaving with how thick my hair is. Are you medicated? I think I'm on too much medication, personally. I want to try weaning off my OCD prescription, because I haven't had problems in a long time, but my psychiatrist doesn't want to? Which is odd to me because when I came to him, he was stunned by how many different meds I was on. He's concerned that the symptoms will just re-emerge, but like... I've beaten OCD before, for many years. I can do it again. I trust him with my life though, because he saved it, so I just go with what he says, honestly. Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? No. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? I've worn Jason's pajama pants before because I found men's pj pants more comfortable, and besides, sometimes I spent the night when I didn't plan to and needed something more comfortable than jeans. Could you make a statement about anything political? Texas' new "heartbeat bill" is fucking bullshit and is going to get so many women killed from DIY abortions. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe I met the person I loved more than I could ever possibly love somebody else again. Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon? Fuck if I know. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? Yes. Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month? Yes. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? I have. How often do you go bowling? Very, very rarely. I haven't been since I was on a date at the end of 2017, I wanna say??? Or was it '18??? Last time you were in an apartment? Not since Colleen still lived in one and I was visiting her. Have you ever seen a live seahorse? Yeah, in aquariums. Would you like to have your own yacht? I mean I wouldn't say no if you offered it to me for free, but I'm not exactly interested in one. I'd probably just give it to my dad. He'd be on Cloud 9. Winnie the Pooh or Tigger? Pooh! :^) What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today? A brownie with caramel drizzle. Mom bought a box of them to split between Ash and her family and us, so I had one. :x Thankfully though she gave more to Ash, because I don't like having treats in the house for my weight's sake, but a little something sweet occasionally keeps you sane when you're trying to lose weight. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Ew, no. What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot? I'd really appreciate something hand-made, like a drawing or something. What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to? He likes mostly the same stuff as me, but also more indie-ish stuff than me. Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? Jason. His eyes are brown. Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? Supernatural. It's inevitable that I'll sing, ha ha. Do you eat dessert after dinner? Very, very rarely. Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day? No. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? I don't go out drinking, but if I was to order a drink right now, I'd go for a sangria. That sounds soooo good rn. What was the last animal that you saw? My cat. Venus is in her hide as I'm answering this, so I can't see her. What was the last thing that you said to one of your siblings? I told Nicole bye when she was leaving the other day. What is the most expensive thing that you’ve purchased that you paid for: My snake. What is your favorite messaging program? Discord, nowadays. Do you eat fast food more than 5 times a week? Yikes, no. Have you ever almost drowned? No. Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook? It wasn't shocking in a bad way, just very unexpected. One of my friends has been an egg donor twice, I wanna say? What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted? I have no clue. Nothing that dangerous. Well wait, I shared the story of holding a tarantula before, and I was still kinda nervous to do so when I did. She was a total sweetie, though. Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for? I actually don't. Other than he got my attention with "lip ring girl," lmao. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No, because they're all the same to me. If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it? I add a bit of sugar. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? *shrug* Choose one - Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Milky Way, 100%. Do you use Mozilla Firefox? No, I use Chrome. Who is your favorite person to hug? Sara. Have you ever had to have a mug shot? No. What was the last thing you carried to your room? Water. When was the last time you had a late night phone call? Damn dude, I couldn't possibly tell ya.

[caps-lockdown]

Party Crashers (One Shot)

Steve Rogers x Reader where her friends jokingly send him an invite to his fan mail address for her birthday party. And Tony finds it and forces him to attend the birthday party. Reader being 100% oblivious to all of this until he literally walks in the door! 🤣🤣🤣

Here it is as requested by @katurrade my wonderful friend! Ask and you shall receive lovely! Hope you like it!

Party Crashers One Shot

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Fem!Reader

Rating:PG:13 (For jokes, booze, language, the usual) Pretty much all fluff, but there is a slight panic attack (although poorly written I can assure you)

Summary: You reluctantly agree to letting your friends throw you a birthday party, but when they send an invite to your favorite Avenger, how will things pan out?

Words: 5,576

It is AU in the sense that I’m having Tony live through endgame, and obviously Steve didn’t go back in time. Because I can’t move on. I don’t own anything but the reader and her family and friends. And the cat.

(Also the house pictured is NOT MINE. I wish it was, but sadly no. Just used it for imagining the party venue. And the dress isn’t mine either, but I can see myself owning it before the house.)

It’s also in Y/N L/N format. Enjoy!

Party Crashers

Two days before your party

“I’m. Not. Going. Stark. ” Steve Roger’s tone had a sense of finality to it, his body in a tense stance as he crossed his arms over his chest, looking at the patriotic themed party invitation that Tony was holding. A huge grin plastered on the billionaire’s face.

“Yes. You. Are. Rogers.” The man adjusted his glasses as he brought the invitation to his line of sight. Steve had tried to conceal the bright blue and red card when he got it in his fan mail that morning, but of course Stark being the snoop that he naturally was, he found it and brought it to everyone’s attention later in the Tower. “Look it’ll be good to keep in the fan’s good graces. After everything that’s happened recently, we could use the good PR.”

The blonde man sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. Everything that had happened with Thanos was over and done with, but yet the people were still terrified and on edge. Rightfully so too. He didn’t understand how going to some grown woman’s birthday celebration was going to help, especially when he had never met her. So he thought.

“Did you read the note that was attached? It’s quite cute. Ahem.” Steve rolled his eyes as Tony cleared his throat, developing a shrill feminine voice as he read it aloud to the rest of the room. “Dear Captain America. You don’t know us but our friend Y/N has a birthday coming up and we figured since you both share the same birthday it would be awesome if we invited you! We just got her back and wanted to make up for missing her these last five years. You’re her absolute favorite superhero and she’s totally had a crush on you ever since you saved her life during the Battle of New York. Not that she’ll ever tell you that. Anyways you don’t have to RSVP or anything, and you aren’t required to take pictures. Hell you could show up, say hi, and leave with cake for all we care. Hope to see you!

Stacy and Jim Higgins” The rest of the avengers were laughing at the annoyed blonde’s face when Stark finished.

“They even included a photo!” Bucky and Sam were the first to look at the picture the brunette man was holding, Sam letting out a long winded “Daaaaang” upon seeing the woman’s face. Steve had to admit that Y/N was very attractive, immediately noticing her thousand watt smile as she snuggled what he was assuming to be her pet cat.

“Tony I don’t want to do this..” Steve tried to reason with him, losing all hope when his friend typed the number on the invite into his phone, tossing the taller man the device and making a “go on” motion with his hands as it began to ring.

Rogers was beginning to think of all the ways he could get away with killing the asshole philanthropist when he heard a voice call from the other side of the line. “Hello?”

“Yes...uhm uh is this Stacy?”

“Who’s askin?”

“It’s Steve Rogers. I’m…uh.”

“OH MY GOD NO FUCKING WAY! JIM GUESS WHO’S ON THE HORN? CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA!!! No…No I’m not kidding you asshole.” Steve couldn’t help but give a nervous chuckle as the female voice proceeded to call the male voice a bunch of inappropriate names. He heard her take a deep breath and continue. “Sorry bout that Mister America Sir. To what do I owe the pleasure of your phone call?” He shook his head, smiling as the woman made an attempt to sound polite.

“I just wanted to RSVP for Y/N’s birthday party. Fourth of July right?”

“Yea! Five o’clock at the address on the invite! You can show up whenever though, oh man Y/N is going to FREAK OUT! Thank you so so much for doing this! I know you must be really busy. Dealing with everything going on around here.”

“It’s no problem at all…” Tony smacked the man’s arm as he grimaced, biting back a few choice words for his teammate. “I’m looking forward to it.” His comment sounded forced and fake but the woman only giggled, buying his terrible performance.

“Great! I won’t tell her you’re coming, but we can’t wait to see you! Have a good night!”

“Of course, you too.” Steve’s face was void of all emotion as he threw the phone at Tony head on, clearly trying to wipe the satisfied expression off his face.

“There that wasn’t so hard was it Rogers?”

“Go to hell Stark.” The blonde man muttered, the other raising a hand to his chest, feigning hurt feelings.

“Language Cap. You kiss your mother with that mouth? It’s not like I’m going to make you go alone. I want to see this train wreck first hand.” Mentally exhausted from today’s turn of events Steve didn’t even bother with a retort, walking out of the room to head to his bedroom. He was too old for this crap.

Day of Your Party

Lake George, New York

“No, No, I specifically told you Patty NO FIREWORKS! Y/N gets all jumpy and she’s bringing Tigger too…yes, her cat. YOU ARE NOT MESSING THIS UP FOR US PATRICIA! I WILL END YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY TREE WITH A TABLESPOON OF GASOLINE AND A MATCH! Do NOT try me today! Tell your mom I said hello. See you soon!”

Stacy ended the phone call with a huff, her eyes sweeping the large group of people that were attempting to set up last minute decorations for your birthday. Of course they would have it out at their astonishing lake side house in upper New York, away from the city and away from the seas of family reunions at Central Park. Considering the holiday, Stacy was hell bent on making sure no explosions of any kind would be happening today. She wanted everything to be perfect for you, and she wasn’t above murdering your cousin to obtain that goal. She didn’t care if she was only eleven years old.  

“You threatening children again honey?” Jim quirked an thick eyebrow at his wife, watching the woman deflate just an inch before she ran off to scream at someone for hanging the wrong colored lantern above one of the large tables. He was fairly certain his wife was going to have a stroke when all of this was over. He could hope anyway. She had been a nightmare planning this whole affair for you, and that was only because you had eventually given in to her demands. It was like negotiating with the government. And he had willing married her.

He laughed as she opted to forcefully take the lantern from his brother Tyler, dragging the chair to another table and hanging it up in its rightful spot. All it took though was one saucy wink in his direction and he could feel his body relax. She was going to be the death of him.

~~A short while later~~

“I hope there isn’t too many people Mel, you know I hate feeling crowded.” You pulled into the long driveway of your best friend’s home. Mel, your sister sat strangely quiet in the passenger seat, lovingly petting a sleeping Tigger in her lap. Before Thanos she was merely a teen, now a high school graduate and looking into medical school. Tigger was barely a year old and just starting to be harness trained, the orange tabby loving the outside and you didn’t have the heart to keep him inside all the time. Now older, he still loved being outside but had gotten pudgy in your years away. You had missed out on so much, but Mel was never this quiet before. In fact, she had pretty much been silent the entire four hour drive to Lake George, only saying a few words here and there as you rambled on. “Why are you being so damn quiet? It’s creeping me out.”

Your sister only smiled at you, her eyes misted over just a bit as she shook her head. “I’ve just missed hearing you talk sis. Five years…” A small sob escaped her when you threw your car into park, reaching over to pull her into a hug.

“Hey now, it was five years for me too alright? We’re together again yeah?” Brushing the tear off her cheek you held back your own when Tigger let out a cranky mewl. That was one thing you would never get tired of. A joyful laugh left your mouth as you began to break away from the embrace, looking into your sister’s brown eyes. “Alright get out of here before you make me ruin my makeup. And just so we’re clear I expect a full blown alien conspiracy lecture tomorrow on the way home.” You jokingly scolded, watching her light up before taking the cat and dashing out of the car. Well at least she had stayed the ball of energy you had remembered.

Stepping out of your vehicle before locking the doors, you couldn’t help but let out a gasp at the house in front of you.

“I see you guys finished the remodel!” You called out when you entered the foyer.

“Y/N! You look amazing!!” Stacy yelled, coming to give you the biggest hug as if you hadn’t been back for months now and she hadn’t just seen you a couple days ago. “Where did you get that banging dress? Did they have one in purple?!”

You lightly shoved your friend, looking down at your outfit for the day.

“HEY EVERYONE, Y/N’S HERE!” A large amount of screams were heard throughout the house and soon you were being flogged by tons of family and friends. Most of them you had seen since you got back, but all of them at once was kind of suffocating. You tried to hide your nerves as you greeted the seemingly endless crowd of smiling, teary faces.

“Happy birthday Y/N!”

“You look great!”

“You got a boyfriend yet?”

“How’s work?” Holding your temple, you started to struggle to breathe, overwhelmed by all of the questions and closeness. A knock at the door seemed to stop everyone in their tracks, and you smiled gratefully as Stacy swooped in to shoo them all away.

“Let our girl breathe a little! Fuck! Buncha vultures.” Your brunette friend whispered the last part, you giggling as she led you away from the prying eyes and invasive questions. It had been nearly a year since you had come back, it wasn’t as if it was just yesterday or anything. Taking a seat on the back porch, you gladly took the mojito Jim handed to you while Stacy went to get the door, opening it widely and immediately looking confused.

“You…you aren’t Captain America.” She managed to get out as Tony Stark took off his sunglasses, reaching to take her hand and giving her a grand smile.

“Well spotted. I’m not. Tony Stark. I however, was under the assumption he was already here. “

“He’s not with you?” Your friend asked as he went to dart his eyes to his phone, a frown on his features as he went to call the avenger in question, holding a finger up to Stacy.

“He didn’t want to carpool and save the environment. He insisted he took his bike. Maybe he took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. Excuse me.” That was a blatant lie, as Tony had told Steve specifically to take his bike and offer Y/N a ride as an attempt to break the ice. Perhaps the good captain was in fact lost. He listened as the phone rang, clucking his tongue in disapproval as it went to voicemail.

“Sorry Stac, looks like you just have me for right now. I’m more than positive he’ll be here soon. I know he wouldn’t miss something like this. He loves birthday cake, as do I. But you know war heroes, always fashionably late. Shall we?” Your friend could only nod slowly, the information sinking in and Stark taking his cue to head into the large home. “Your home is stunning.”

“Thanks. Y/N should be out back.” Stacy waved him on and Tony took his time enjoying the lovely large windows and high ceilings. He also took the time to send a very strongly worded text message to Steve about punctuality, and the fact he should have beaten Stark here considering Rogers had left nearly two hours before he had.

It didn’t take him long to find you, halfway through your glass and staring out onto the massive backyard. People were playing volley ball, four or five men were manning the grill, women laughing in groups as they caught up. Even surrounded by everyone you still felt a little isolated. Not a soul paying attention to you. Noticing you were almost out of alcohol he backtracked into the house, grabbing a couple fresh minty drinks and heading back out.

“Y/N I presume?” Tony’s voice shook you out of your daydreaming, you jumping at recognizing his face. Iron Man Tony-fucking-Stark was standing just to your right, and you placed a hand over your chest in a poor attempt to steady your heart beat.

“Uhmnh…Yea….Yea that’s me.” You choked out, taking the billionaire’s drink offering and setting it down before coming back up to grasp his hand and giving it a firm shake. “I’m Y/N.”

“You sure?” His jab made you blush, you finishing your first drink before moving your steel straw into the next one. The brunette man smiled, sipping on his own drink and nodding at it in approval.

“What…what are you doing here?” Your question was blurted out at a rapid speed, the skin on your neck tingling again as Tony looked down to meet your eyes. You could tell that he had been waiting on you to ask, as it wasn’t everyday random world saving superheroes showed up to a woman’s birthday party.

“We got an invite from Stacy and her husband, but superhero business would have it that only I could make it tonight. I’m sorry if you were expecting someone taller. With blonde hair and devastating blue eyes.” You sputtered into your glass, giving Tony an incredulous look while he laughed at you. What had your friends mentioned in that invitation?

“No um, this is really wonderful. Thank..thank you for coming.” You nearly squeaked, trying to guzzle down the rest of your drink and standing from your chair. Jim signaled it was time to eat, Stacy starting to hand people red, white, and blue plates and napkins while the masses began to form a line for food. “I guess that’s our cue. Everyone will be really excited to meet you. And in case I don’t get the chance, thank you. Ya know, for saving the world.”

“All in a day’s work Y/N. Let’s get some grub, I’m starving.” You laughed as Tony extended his arm, helping you down the stairs into the party space, people offering him thanks and asking for pictures once they caught on to who he was. “No no, I’m just here for the free food and Y/N’s birthday cake. But maybe we’ll take a few photos after yeah?”

The two of you took a seat at the large long picnic table after piling your plates with ribs, potato salad, corn on the cob, and other fourth of July staples. Tony kept everyone laughing, telling stories to you and the twenty four other people that were there to celebrate. You secretly wished that you could be this outgoing, most of the time shying away from social interaction and people altogether. It would certainly help you and your lackluster personal life.

After everyone was on the brink of a food coma, Tony suggested the game of charades to help burn off some of the food to make room for cake. With it being after seven, some of the guests opted to leave for the evening, wishing you well and stealing a couple of photos with Tony before exiting. None of them seemed to notice the motorcycle parked alongside the driveway.

Steve’s eyes watched with amusement as you attempted to use your cat to imitate a machine gun, shouting Scarface quotes and Tony being the first to answer correctly. His breath was taken away by how beautiful you were in person, the picture being five years older after all. He loved the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed, and how your smiles always looked warm and inviting, even when you were clearly not doing the best at charades. Steeling his nerve he climbed off his bike, wiping his suddenly sweaty palms onto his pants and heading up to the front door of the large home. He took in a deep breath and knocked, staring into the rich oak and waiting.

“I’ll get it!” You shouted, hopping off the couch and dodging popcorn Mel was throwing at you along the way. You stuck your tongue out playfully, turning to open the door and finding yourself face to face with freedom in the flesh.

“Happy birthday Y/N.” His stunning blue eyes and even more attractive smile was too much for you and the room began to spin. “I’m Steve.”

You took his hand, suddenly feeling really light headed. His expression changed to one of concern as you took a few fumbling steps back, his strong arm instinctively reaching out to grip your waist and steady you.

“Hey you’re alright. I’ve got you.” His words had your brain going into overdrive, your mind flooding with the memory of the only other time you had heard him say that.

~May 4th, 2012~

“Why the hell should I take orders from you?!”

You heard the cop ask the man in the blue suit, you hiding behind a nearby car as you watched him interact with the officer, chaos erupting throughout the city. The entire office you worked in had evacuated in a panic, but you were one of the last ones to leave, narrowly escaping death a few times over just getting out of the building. Your eyes were glued to the man, never seeing him before in your life. He was extremely handsome from what you could tell, and clearly he wasn’t taking no for an answer. You watched as he proceeded to defeat a few of the strange creatures easily, and you couldn’t help but let out a raspy laugh as the officer quickly changed his tune.

“I need men in those buildings. Lead the people down and away from the streets. We’re gonna set up a perimeter all the way down to 39th street.” He had said the last bit into his radio, walking away and you gladly decided it was time to get your ass out of there. Standing up and headed towards the street you began running towards the nearest subway entrance. Your heart was hammering in your throat and you were sure you would have to throw out your heels and now ripped to hell dress when this was over. Turning a corner you let out a blood curdling scream as a truck came barreling through the air, you being directly in its way.

You shut your eyes and awaited death, but it never came. Instead you were grabbed roughly and tucked in between a set of buildings, a shriek leaving your lungs as you watched the truck go flying by. Your hands shot to cover your face as your panicked sobs came out before you could stop them, realizing you were alive.

“Hey you’re alright, I’ve got you.” Your hands were brought down from your face and you looked up to see the hero in blue staring intently at you, brushing some of your now loosened hair away from your face. You were certain your makeup was smeared along with dirt and dust from all of the debris floating around the city, but he only continued staring into your eyes.

“Boy do you ever.” Was all you could get out, a small smile lighting up the mystery man’s features as he grabbed your hand, looking into the street before nodding to you.

“Good. Now let’s get you to safety Doll.” You swooned and fought to keep up with the man as he started jogging back into the street, careful to help you dodge and duck the ugly looking creatures along the way. Stopping at the subway entrance he gave you a once over, making sure you weren’t bleeding as you fought a heart attack from all the cardio today had put you through. His hands on your shoulders weren’t helping things.

“You get down there and you stay safe alright miss?” You could only nod like an moron again, watching him turn to walk away.

“Hey wait!” He turned around at your newly found voice, you pointing to an alley that wasn’t under attack. “You’ll get to where you’re going faster if you take that way. It’ll lead you back to where you saved me.”

He cracked a smile, appreciating your kindness as he took off. You got all the way down the stairs before realizing you never got to thank him. Or learn his stupid name.

~Now~

“Boy do you ever.” Your words came out in a whisper, his gaze turning to one of calculation as you smiled. There was no way he could have remembered saving you. He has saved thousands, millions of people in the past, and you weren’t that memorable.

“You…you were the woman I saved from the flying truck..weren’t you?” His voice was soft as he whispered back. You nodded with wide eyes, taking note how his arm hadn’t detached itself from your waist yet. Not that you minded.

“You remember me?” You stuttered out, trying to keep your shocked nerves at bay.

“Doll I couldn’t forget you even if I tried. Those directions saved my skin that day. I’m glad to see you survived.”

“Because of you! I didn’t even know trucks could fly.” Your comment made him laugh out loud, his arm leaving your waist only to cover his stomach as he filled the house up with joy. Everyone else laughed nervously, clearly not having heard the conversation between you two and therefore not having the slightest idea what was so funny.

“I see you cut your hair, your picture doesn’t do you justice you know.”His normal voice and remark set your face on fire, you whipping your head to look at your best friend, who only sheepishly shrugged and avoided making eye contact with you. “But I like it. Suits you.” Receiving another compliment from the blonde had you grinning like a goofball.

“Thank you….and uh thanks, for saving my life all of those years ago. I never got the chance to do it back then.” You rambled, before widening your eyes again and taking a breath. “And thanks for helping bring back everyone from the decimation too! I mean I was part of that and I know everyone is really grateful and all.” Finishing your long winded spiel you began studying the designs in the hard cherry wood floor, embarrassed at how the Captain only continued to chuckle at you.

“You’re welcome…and you’re welcome.” He beamed at you, Tony loudly coughing to bring the two of you out of whatever bubble you seemed to be in together.

“This is ADORABLE to watch. Seriously. But uh, I was promised cake and I’m not leaving until I get some.” Stark whined, your friends all agreeing before wandering into the kitchen, you motioning for Steve to follow. Stacy smiled warmly at you as she took the glad cake topper off, your mouth watering at the beautiful cake she had made. It was three layers, all different swirls of red white and blue adorning it along with simple gold stars.

“Oh Stac…it’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Hey that means we can sing happy birthday to both of you!” Jim clapped Steve on the back, shaking his hand as he went to light the one huge candle that sat on top of the cake.

“As long as you don’t sing Jim I think our ears will be okay.” Mel quipped, everyone laughing as they began singing to the two of you. Your eyes welled up with tears, looking at all of the faces of people you honestly weren’t sure you’d ever see again. And two of the people that helped make that happen were here as well. How about that. Once everyone had a piece of cake you all took to sitting outside on the back porch again, watching the summer sun begin to set off in the distance. It reflected off the lake beautifully, the reds and oranges in the sky extending over the water.

“I’ve missed how peaceful it is out here Stacy. You and Jim have an absolute paradise out here.” Your friends nodded, both too busy with cake to really take in the splendor.

“I think this cake is paradise.” Tony muffled out, mouth full of the sugary treat, Steve’s shaking of his head had you and Mel giggling into your forks. “You have to get me the recipe so my wife can make it. Or we can just pay you to make it.”

“Anything for one of the guys who saved the world. I’ll write it down for ya.” Stacy’s smirk made you chuckle, her fingers snaking out to take your clean plate from you. Walking back into the kitchen, the now very happy Stark following her, Mel sighed as she looked at her watch.

“It’s not even ten yet! What are we going to do!?” Her complaint reminded you how much younger she actually was, you perfectly fine with calling it a night. Your ears perked up at the sound of soft jazz music beginning to pour out of the speakers located on the corner of the deck, Jim turning on the assortment of lanterns. The whole back yard was aglow with twinkling lights and you started to subconsciously sway to the beat. Steve’s jaw working as he began to walk over to you, shrugging out of the brown leather jacket he had been wearing and setting on a chair.

“Well I know what Y/N and I are going to do.” Steve stuck his hand out to you, you smiling timidly before reaching yours to grasp his. “Care to dance, Doll?”

“Well I’m not going to say no.” He laughed at that, bringing you over to the side of the deck that was serving as a makeshift dance floor, Jim and Stacy following your lead when she returned from the kitchen. You got a chance to take in his outfit, nice gray slacks and a simple blue button up shirt rolled up at the elbows. It wasn’t much but he didn’t need much when he looked like he had been carved out of marble by Michelangelo himself.

“I have to admit, I don’t have that much practice with dancing.” The blonde admitted, your heart fluttering as a flush crept over his face. You squeezed his hand reassuringly as he dropped his other one to sit on high on your waist.

“Is the great Captain America flustered right now?” You giggled, allowing him to spin you around. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. But for the record…” You gingerly took his hand at your waist, lowering it a little to where it sat just above your hip. “Your hand will be a lot more comfortable here. And you should relax some. I don’t bite.”

He swallowed thickly and nodded, you both swaying to the music in a comfortable silence as it played on, Jim making sure the songs stayed slow so you wouldn’t part ways so quickly. Eventually you began making small talk, asking him about his life and interests, Steve obviously very interested in what you had been up to since Thanos’ defeat. You found him extremely easy to talk to, your jokes making him laugh, his eyes crinkling with joy as the time passed.

“So we might as well start making wedding invitations now.” Mel uttered to Tony when he curiously eyed the Captain, your sister and Stark looking to each other before chuckling. “She’s not going to let him go now that they’ve met officially.”

“That’s funny, because I was thinking the same thing. About him. Maybe he’ll find that life I told him to get.” Mel laughed at the brunette, both of them nodding to the other couple to vacate the dance floor. Stacy couldn’t help the sly smile as you and Steve continued to talk, so enamored in each other you didn’t notice everyone else leaving the back yard to give you some privacy. Ten minutes later the next song came to a close, Steve attempting to lower you into a small dip that made your knees weak in more ways than one.

“Thanks for the dance Y/N.”

“Dances Mister Rogers, and back at you. They were lovely. Now where did everyone…. “ You began to look around, a slight familiar panic setting in as your eyes searched for your friends and the billionaire. You sighed in exasperation as you watched them scatter. Failing miserably at making themselves look busy and like they hadn’t been watching you two. “Go.”

“I’m sure they mean well.” Steve’s eyes sparkled as you rolled your own.

“Sure yea. They’re probably in there planning our first date.”

“Our first date?” You went to cover your face with your hands, a high pitch squeak coming out when you came to terms with the fact you had said that out loud.

“OhmygodI’msososorry” You rushed out, continuing to hide your face as you were certain you were the brightest shade of red in the rainbow.

“Y/N it’s alright…”

“No it’s not. You’re out there saving the world, and I’m sure that coming to this dumb party my exhausting friends probably blackmailed you into was the last thing on your to do list. And then I have to go and ruin a perfectly nice moment by opening my big mouth and asking you out when knowing my luck you’re already dating some stunning Amazonian woman who can cook and makes you stupid happy!” Anger boiled in your veins as the blonde could only stare at you, partially concerned you might combust, and partially endeared that you clearly had a big crush on him.

“For the record, Tony made me come tonight. But you’re the sole reason I’ve stayed.” Steve took your clenched hand, giving it a soft squeeze and the noise that died in the back of your throat couldn’t have been remotely human. “And secondly, I’m single, and extremely flattered. But I’m afraid there’s a small problem.”

“You’re afraid I’m crazy and will probably burn down your house if you ignore me for too long?” He blinked at you, taking a moment to let that sentence sink in before shaking his head.

“No, I don’t know if you’re a cup of coffee or dinner and a movie kind of girl. “ His grin had you seeing fireworks and holy star spangled banner Steve Rogers was asking you out! Quickly jolting out of your over-excitement you managed a coy giggle, you removing your hand from his before placing it on his right cheek. Bringing yourself up to your tiptoes you allowed your lips to lightly kiss his left cheek, feeling the warmth radiate through his skin upon contact.

“Well in your case Steve, I’m both. Dinner tomorrow night when I get back into town?”

His eyes didn’t leave yours, you sliding your hand away only to have him take it again. Your heart raced as he placed a chaste kiss on your knuckle, grinning at you like a love struck puppy.

“I’ll pick you up on the bike at seven o clock. Hope you like Italian.”

“I do.” You nodded, you immediately missing his hand when he let it go.

“Great, then it’s a date.”

“So it is.” You bit back a girlish scream internally as he began to walk away, before turning around and bashfully asking for your phone number. You typed it into his phone, laughing the entire time. Everyone gathered outside for a quick photo with the two Avengers, Steve staying right next to you, a hand on your waist and the two of you looking nothing short of smitten with each other. You gave both of them a quick hug goodbye, Tony’s being longer because he complained about you not dancing with him at all and he deserved better treatment because he was there first.

“Goodnight Y/N. Happy Birthday.” You smiled at the blonde, giggling as Tony had to physically grab the back of Steve’s jacket to pull him out of the doorway.

“Happy birthday Steve. See you tomorrow.” You waved them on, leaning against the frame as the two men became shapes in the dark. It wasn’t long after you heard the rumble of a motorcycle and a car start up, headlights pulling down the road as they drove off.

“I’m sorry they had to go.” Mel patted your shoulder as you shut the door, locking the bolt and turning off the porch light. You smiled at your sister saucily, throwing her a wink after she shut the blinds behind the couch.

“Me too, but god did I love watching him leave.”

Her response was a pillow. To your face.

The End 

Tag List: @kaytizzle @giggleberts @cuffski

[romancingromanoff]

What Happens At Disney.... Part 2/3

youHe: 

Just a bunch of Disneyworld fluff! Also more one-on-one time with Nat in this one; you get a makeover and her and Ariel compete for best redhead.  

Part 1 here//Part 3 here

Tony coughed, “So now what?” The rest of the crew is standing around awkwardly in what Cap calls their “civilian clothes.” He’s sporting a plain white tee and a blue baseball cap (of course, because America) while Tony has opted for a more business casual look with a fancy short sleeved collared shirt and a tie. That’s about as casual as he gets but you just hope that he can try and relax and have fun today. There’s nothing that Thor could wear that wouldn’t make him look like a super granola California surfer guy. His man bun is attracting a lot of female attention, but then again, you suppose that that happens most of the time anyway. Bruce, of course, manages to look awkward in whatever clothing he’s wearing. He has a lot of purple shirts but he’s decided to go with the one you got him for Christmas with a small pocket over his left breast that you told him was where he was supposed to put his matching pen you also had made. You think it’s sweet that he’s wearing it today. Clint is also wearing some shorts and a tee along with some actual worn in sneakers; he probably blends in the most with the crowd.

Then there’s Nat- your girlfriend. She could pull off anything of course but today she’s just wearing some shorts, a black tank, and some combat boots. She’s quite the opposite of yourself in terms of the color palette she prefers but you secretly love that her neutral-toned basic pieces allow her red hair to shine and frame your favorite part about her- her face and those green eyes. Her hands are casually in her front pockets and she would almost seem relaxed if not for the fact that she was perpetually scanning the area around her and moving her eyes around to check for potential threats wherever she goes. You sigh and grab one of her hands into your own and pull her towards one of the stores and motion for everyone else to follow behind you.

“Well, me and Nat are going to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique so can you boys wait for us nearby? Thor, I think they sell giant turkey legs at that stand over there,” you see his face perk up at the mention of huge slabs of meat and he’s gone before you can blink.

“Aw, c’mon Thor! You can’t just push the kids out of the way like that!” Bruce groans and goes after him followed by Clint, Steve (who has entered reluctant babysitter mode) and Tony because apparently he just coincidentally wants to “go in that vague direction.”

“Okay, but I am not allowing them to touch my hair,” Natasha warns and you just give her a peck on her cheek before dragging her into the store. It’s like what you imagine Princess Jasmine’s salon is actually like as there are golden chandeliers, giant mirrors, and long silky curtains and drapes of all different colors decorating the giant space. Two of the stylists greet you with great big smiles and start giving you information on all of the different packages they offer.

“Of course not,” you smile. “Remember, this is my makeover, buddy. And I don’t want you stealing away my thunder anyway when you’re already a billion times prettier than me.”

“Get in the chair, you dork,” she snorts as you take a seat in the styling chair and the ladies begin their work. You decide to go with some simple makeup (just a little bit of blush, neutral eyeshadow, winged eyeliner, some lipgloss in the shade that Aurora wears, and light mascara with only a tiny bit of sparkly highlighter) and a giant Elsa-braid.  

“Oooh, help me pick out the perfect ears!” you squeal dragging Nat over to a wall of an assortment of glittery Minnie Mouse ears next. A pair of sparkly white ones with a red bow catches you eye which Nat notices and she reaches up to grab them for you.

“If I have any input, I’d like to see wearing these in the bedroom,” she says in that sultry voice as your face blushes and she slips them onto you.

“Shush, Nat, this is a public place with little kids,” you swat at her but can’t help but catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and you tilt your head modeling them off for her as she smiles watching. “But I do look really good in these,” you admit. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff,” you say to her in a lowered voice and pray that the store is busy enough that no one can hear your private conversation over all of the noise. She just gives you a grin which tells you she’s up to no good and pulls out her phone to show you a pair of very expensive, but stunning cat ears from a website you personally would have been afraid to visit off of private browsing mode.

“I don’t know, maybe playing cat and mouse could be kinda fun,” she says suggestively and you give her a quick kiss on her lips.

“Hey, don’t make me mess up my lipstick,” you warn with a laugh.

“Not until we get home, I promise.”

You meet with the boys just in time to stop Thor from consuming half of all of the turkey legs this poor vendor has and Tony suggests that you all go on a ride.

“How about the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train?” you suggest. “You know, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?”

“I understood that reference,” Steve’s got this huge smile on his face when you mention what was one of the only Disney animated films that came out pre-WWII. 

“Well, apparently the ride is just as old as you Capsicle,” Tony mocks him and pulls up his phone which he has on a website that shows all of the times you have to wait in line for a ride. “Because the train broke down while the dwarfs must have been hi-hoing to work.”

You can’t help but get a bit sad and your sulk a little bit before Nat gently rubs your arm and shoots Tony an angry glare. “Buuuuuuuut,” he begins obviously intimidated by Romanoff. “Luckily, I am an engineering genius so I’ll see what I can do to fix it.”

Perhaps the only perk of having a super egotistical genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist for a friend is that they never take “no” for an answer and can talk their way into pretty much anything when you need a favor from them. The seven of you eventually found your way to the control room which was underground in the infamous tunnels that only workers were allowed to see. 

“I don’t know, Tony, I get kind of claustrophobic and being underground probably isn’t good for my stress,” Bruce worries as Tony is nagging him to help him with the tools. 

“Hey, it’s the happiest place on earth, so get the hell in here,” he says and you hear Bruce groan. You, Clint, Nat, and Steve just decide to awkwardly wait outside while they’re arguing over mechanics and Tony is criticizing the Mouse for “not having adept technicians” when you decide you’d rather go explore around the corner and at least look for a bathroom. You excuse yourself and head into the labyrinth that is Disney’s Underground Maze and can’t help but stare at all of the half-human half-animal creatures you run into. There’s Chip & Dale without their costume heads on so it just looks like two normal guys’ heads floating on top of the bodies of some obese chipmunks, the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland is standing in a corner cursing out his girlfriend over the phone, and someone else with Tigger’s head and a woman’s body almost bumps into you. That’s when you stumble upon what looks like another dressing room and you peak in to find that it’s full of all of the Princess character-actors putting on their makeup and wigs.

“Oh my God, you’re Y/N!” a super perky voice catches you by surprise and you almost trip over yourself before the owner of that voice manages to catch you. She’s wearing the most magnificent mint green ball gown which is sleeveless. You know it’s a wig, but she’s got the most voluptuous red curls that frame her kind face so nicely that you can’t help but stutter as she smiles at you. After all, you’ve always had a thing for redheads and though she’s a little too bubbly for your taste, you have to admit that she’s very beautiful.  “Wow, it is so cool to meet you!” Princess Ariel exclaims before she starts complimenting you on all of the work you do. “I’m such a huge fan of yours!”

“Thank you very much, it’s nice to run into someone that thinks so,” you say. “And I’m such a big fan of your’s, I mean, of Ariel’s since I guess you are her.. or.. are you? Um, what should I call you?” you feel so embarrassed tripping over your own words confused about what the rules are for breaking out of character but she just laughs it off. You had no idea that the employees here could be so nice.

“I’m off the clock right now so you can call me Stella,” she winks and you try to play it off like you totally know what’s going on. “How long are you going to be here in Orlando?”

“A couple of days. I really want to visit all of the different parks.”

“Well,” she reaches into the dressing room and grabs what looks like a sticky note and a Mickey Mouse pen. “Let me know if you’d like someone to show you around, you know, after hours. I can give you the secret tour; get us a dinner reservation somewhere nice,” she winks at you again and then you finally catch on to what she means after she hands you the note which you see has a phone number on it. 

“Oh, uh-”

“Thanks, but my girlfriend knows I won’t kiss her if she’s been eating seafood,” you whip around to see Natasha standing there looking like she’s death itself about ready to take this poor girl away to hell. 

“I, uh, I gotta go,” Stella hurries into the dressing room closing the door after her and you’re left with an angry assassin with her arms crossed just waiting for an explanation.

“Natasha, I swear, I had no idea she was flirting with me.”

“I know. That’s exactly how she took advantage of you,” she almost darts into the room but you block the door before she can go kill anybody.

“Hey, she was not taking advantage of me,” you retort. 

“I saw how you were mesmerized by her hair and that stupid starfish clip.”

“It’s a wig, Natasha. You know I like my women to be naturally redheaded... even if they get a little green sometimes,” you playfully push her understandingly taking her two hands into yours and pulling her closer. “I only have eyes for you,” you whisper and she rolls her eyes trying to resist the puppy  eyes you’re giving her.

“Okay, but if she flirts with you again then I’m ripping that wig right off.”

Natasha won’t let go of your hand as you find your way back to Tony and Bruce who have finally finished repairing the ride. Coming back up above ground, the sun’s glare kind of blinds all of you and you notice Clint looks especially bothered.

“Hey, save that perfect hawk-vision of yours,” you pull out a pair of sunglasses from your bag and offer them to him.

“Thanks,” he says slipping them on over his squinting eyes before Thor, Tony, and Nat erupt in laughter. Clint just stands there confused for a second as his eyes readjust just before he realizes that the sunglasses you’ve given him are from the Pixie Hollow collection and are bright pink with tons of sequins all over the winged-shaped frames.

“You know what? My eyesight needs protection more than my masculinity, which I am completely comfortable with, so you guys can just go blind. Have fun staring at the sun,” he proclaims trying to block out the sounds of Tony struggling to breath from laughing too much and Thor’s giant belly laughs.

“Hey! I will expose you!” he threatens. “Security! Security?! Yeah, this guy has a giant weapon on him! Yup, the hammer guy? That's him. He’s right here.”

Thor turns around so fast with his hammer up to Clint’s chin. “You be silent right this instant, Barton, or else I shall smash you fairy princess glasses with my hammer right here and now.”

“No! Those are mine!” you scream as Natasha just keeps recording everything happening on her phone. 

To be continued...

[tanoraqui]

Eldritch Terrors of The Magnus Archive as rated by me, now finished with season two (sequel post to). Cut for length.

The Eye: 10/10. I still know where my bread is buttered. Incidentally, when they held that Intervention and Elias gave Jon the CCV tapes like “maybe these will finally reassure you”, it was the equivalent of it my dog half-destroyed my backpack while rooting around it it for food and I pulled her away and gave her a stern talking to and then a sandwich, like “maybe this will stop you from being hungry.” Jon is a knowledge beagle. Side note: kind of took my suggestion for a performer who finds themselves Watched with that newswoman, but not quite as I’d wanted.

The Stranger: 7/10. Notsha was pretty good. I quite liked the taxidermy (same flowery smell as Sarah the noise tech from Melanie’s hospital ep, so her origin is settled, ish! Look forward to seeing her again.) More importantly, I remembered that one of the scariest nightmares I’ve ever had involved me coming home to signs that there had been an intruder in the house and finding that they’d made nearly perfect copies of all my stuffed animals and left them on the bed with the real ones - like they’d meant to replace them but didn’t have the time, maybe. And I could tell which ones were real, were loved and mine, and which were soulless copies with colors just slightly off and eyes slightly duller, but I knew, looking at them all, that no one else would be able to tell. And that’s the Stranger all over, isn’t it? The NotThem specifically - except instead of replacing the semi-imaginary friends you have slept with every night of your life, whose presence is an eternal reliable soft warm hug and whom you named one by one and gave personalities like pieces of your very self, it goes for, like, your cousin. Good concept, amateur execution relative to the terror my young mind cooked up in the wake of a Winnie-the-Pooh episode with alternate, evil New Jerseyean versions of Tigger, Piglet, and Pooh.

The Distortion: 9/10. Points for being the first entity to utilize the internet, and just...consistently being peak Cheshire Cat. I fucking love Michael every time he appears, even when what he’s doing is fucking with people just to see what happens (and, please note the title “Liar”: definitely wanted Jon to meet Leitner and definitely has an angle other than For The Lulz here. But it might be, well, upside-down and inside-out and twisted like a broken elbow relative to anyone else’s angle, so possibly we don’t even need to worry about it! Possibly.

The Flesh: 6/10. Solid, reliable performance from the cannibalism crowd this season, and connection with boneturners confirmed. MEAT IS ME.

The Slaughter: 9/10 god i just love Melanie King so much, okay. “It was like once I’d seen that there was a path to stray from, I couldn’t unsee it, and I couldn’t ignore the call from the woods all around.” Actually that’s more Eye, probably - 7/10 to the Slaughter, I wish we had more but also there may be only so much you can do with mindless bloodthirst; 15/10 to Melanie King, embodiment of “’[X]’s haunted’ ‘What?’ *cocks pistol, walking out* ‘[X]’s haunted.’” Also, I spent most of “Grifter’s Bone” thinking it was probably the Stranger but when the woman turned out to have mauled a neighbor and then herself with a hammer, I gasped, “Slaughter!” delightedly. Music of war!

The Web: 7/10. Won this season’s award for creepiness, I think? Annabelle Cane is clutch, y’all. Also, the grudge match with Desolation over Hilltop House is fun. ALSO, who the HELL is Adulard Dekker; I met him in a fic or two also and I have questions?? Anyway, shoutout to the Web for frequently reining the others in, actually - spiders killing worms, binding the NotThem...agreeing by uneasy truce to help raise Desolation’s...whatever exactly Agnes Montague is...

The Desolation: 6/10. Most interesting by far is that the Desolation/Cult of the Lightless Flame is the only beings we’ve seen using I would call “sympathetic magic” - whatever they were doing with those pictures of Gertrude + her hairs in that Scottish grove, some ritual with Agnes and spiders once her tree fell. TMA doesn’t seem to have much of a “magic system”, but this indicates...something with rules.

The Lonely: 6/10. Points for most interesting and long-term - both in practice and effect - destruction of a single human’s psyche, in “Personal Space.” That’s craftmanship, that is. Pretty boring season otherwise, aside from Peter showing up to lose a bet on whether a man would survive a brush with the Buried.

The Buried: 5/10. I dunno, it’s still just not doin’ it too much for me. I do love how I can’t figure out if Katerina Gorka is lying about her experience on the train or if she just...hasn’t noticed that she’s definitely become some sort of dirt-shedding avatar of death underground.

The Darkness: 3/10. Weak! Showing! Who CAN’T make the tunnels underneath an ancient church crypt creepy? Oh, wow, you also killed a handful of police officers and a guy in jail who nearly....god, I so desperately want to know exactly what Robert Montauk was trying to do. Raynard implied that he’d tried to kill the Darkness? Ballsy.

The Vast: 9/10. So, when I wrote that obviously autobiographical bit in the s1 ratings, I was really just remembering “Freefall”, which didn’t describe the Vast much like that at all. I listened back at “Page Turner”, the first Leitner, which was Vast, and it had some similarities that might have been bouncing around my subconscious...but the reason I checked back was that “Literary Heights” had a lot of similarities to the autobiographical bit I wrote, which I wrote BEFORE listening to that episode at ALL...9/10 because that’s actually the most unnerved I’ve been all podcast.

The Corruption: 4/10. Weak too, tbh, particularly relative to the magnificent Jane Prentiss. Introduced, I think, though, the concept of objects that can be wards (John Snow’s syringe) instead of harbringers, which is very interesting. Concept: Corruption episode based on rotting food, please? At a fancy restaurant or at a dump or just in someone’s house, everything going bad...maybe a dig somewhere at how much supermarkets just throw away...

The Hunt: 5/10. Vampires still neat. More to the point: Me, standing outside Jonathan Sims (the reality one)’s house at 2am, blasting Schubert’s “Erlkonig” from a boombox while shouting: GIVE! ME! WILD! HUNT! GIVE!! ME!! WILD!! HUNT!!

The End: 5/10. Did, uh. Did Mary Keay kill and partially flay her own son, binding his uneasy ghost to a page made from his own skin, and then give that page to Gertrude as a weird passive-aggressive present. I guess that book might be Flesh instead, but it seems more End and I just have to ask. Nobody should answer, but between scattered spoilers and what episodes I’ve heard, this is...an impression I have formed... The End didn’t do much at all but it always has decent credit just for being The End.

[theemightypen]

I wish you would write a fic where... modern!Eomer fosters a bunch of kittens with his tiny wife Lothiriel

This got a bit long, per usual, and has a slight angsty bit towards the end, but I hope y’all enjoy it regardless!

“Pippin,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off the migraine he feel swiftly approaching, “explain to me again, why there are five kittens in my house.”

Pippin offers him what Eomer supposes is supposed to be a winning smile, but all it serves is to make his head throb in response. “Well, me and Merry’s place doesn’t allow cats, Arwen is allergic so she and Aragorn are out, Gimli and Legolas are off gallivanting around the country again, Sam and Rosie have the baby–there’s nowhere else for them to go! The closest shelter is nearly full, and isn’t no-kill– ”

“And Lothiriel said they’d be welcome,” Merry pipes in, unhelpfully.

I love my wife, Eomer reminds himself. I love my wife, I love my wife, I love my wife–

“Lothiriel isn’t here, now,” he reminds them. “And I am much, much less fond of cats than she is–”

“Oh, come on, Eomer,” Merry wheedles. “She’ll be back from Faramir and Eowyn’s in a day or two–what’s the worst that can happen?”

The ‘worst that can happen’, as it turns out, is one leg of their vintage leather couch being scratched to smithereens, two of the kittens outright refusing to use the litter box–they prefer the floor of Eomer’s closet, instead–and Eomer nearly having a heart attack upon waking up to find all five kittens perched on his chest, watching him sleep.

“I love my wife,” he mutters, cleaning up yet another bowl of spilled milk, “I love my wife, I love my wife–”

“Your wife is glad to hear it,” comes Lothiriel’s voice, startling him out of his scrubbing. She must have come in while he was busy cursing the cats in Rohirric, and now she stands in front of him, grinning widely. “What have I done to deserve such adoration?”

“Given Merry and Pippin the idea that we’re running some kind of cat sanctuary out of our house,” he grumbles, but still rises to his knees to accept her kiss in greeting.

“What?” She asks, clearly confused.

As if on cue, a round of high pitched meowing starts in the other room. Lothiriel’s face splits into an enormous smile and she all but knocks him over in her hurry to move into the living room. He groans at the sound of her happy squeal, followed directly after by cooing at the demons that happen to be conveniently kitten-shaped. “Eomer, come here! I need to know what we’re calling them!”

Grumbling, he hefts himself to his feet. The sight that greets him is, admittedly, adorable: his tiny, beautiful wife, all but covered in kittens, happily stroking her hands over each one in turn. Or, it would be adorable, had the kittens not made themselves the bane of his existence over the course of the previous 48 hours.

“I haven’t named them,” he admits, begrudgingly settling down beside her on the floor, his back pressed against the ruined couch-leg.

“Oh, bad form, husband mine,” she chides, scratching the solitary orange cat between its ears, “no wonder they’ve done a number on you. They don’t feel welcome!”

“They’re cats, Lothiriel,” Eomer grouses.

“Kittens,” she corrects, bumping his shoulder with hers. “And they need names.”

The orange cat is quickly named ‘Tigger’, his three grey sisters deemed ‘Smoke’, ‘Cinderella’, and ‘Twilight’, until only the last, tawny colored kitten remains. He’s been a particular thorn in Eomer’s side, responsible for both the couch leg and the majority of the accidents in his closet.

“Trouble,” he suggests.

Lothiriel smiles, crooking a finger under the kitten’s chin. “What do you say to that, little one?”

The answering purr decides it.

(“Lothiriel,” he murmurs, the following night when he finds her curled up in bed, the kittens arranged in the space where she’s curved herself around them, “we’re not keeping them.”

She shoots him a look that he knows all too well–it’s one of the first things he’d ever fallen in love with about her, that look. “We’ll see about that.”)

As it turns out, they don’t keep all of the kittens. Eothain and his wife could use a mouse-hunter for their stables, and Cinderella has been training by pouncing on Eomer’s feet for the better part of two months. Elphir wants a calm, gentle first pet for his little daughter, and Smoke, with her wide-green eyes and sweet disposition, is the perfect fit. Tigger and Twilight are adopted by Gimli and Legolas, not only for their personalities but also for the high likelihood of their presence in the men’s apartment to guarantee the absence of irritating in-laws–on both sides.

Trouble, however, stays. Much to Eomer’s chagrin, the cat has been Lothiriel’s special darling from the very first, curling himself around her feet at every opportunity, being pampered with tuna packs and chin scratches.

He also has the particularly annoying habit of hissing at Eomer any time he shows Lothiriel the barest semblance of physical affection. Takes her hand while watching a movie? Hissing. Dare to kiss her temple while they’re making dinner? More hissing. And Bema forbid he attempt to coax his wife into the bedroom with the damned cat watching–Eomer’s got three, claw-shaped scars on his ankle for daring to want to make love to his wife.

“He’s just protective,” Lothiriel reasons, plastered pleasantly to his side, lips swollen from kissing and her hair a rumpled mess from his hands. Trouble is yowling his displeasure from outside the door, but thankfully, Eomer is proving to be a better distraction to his softly smiling wife.

“He’s a damned nuisance,” Eomer grumbles, but he kisses her responding frown away before she can truly get upset. “But he has his uses.”

“Such as?” She asks, with an arched eyebrow.

“Well, for starters, he helps keep those ice-blocks you call feet warm–”

Eomer receives a pillow to the face for his comment, but a kiss follows quickly after, before he can bemoan abuse.

The day he decides Trouble is worth, well, the trouble, is when he comes home to find all of the lights turned off. It’s a dreary day, anyways, with rain pattering against the windows, but something feels…off.

“Lothiriel?” He calls.

There’s no response. The kitchen is empty, as is the living room, the dining room…Concern mounting, he opens the door to their bedroom. Lothiriel is there, curled beneath the covers, with Trouble perched by her head. The cat offers him a steady look, for once not on the verge of attack at his appearance.

“Lothiriel,” Eomer says again, worry turning swiftly to panic when her response is a slightly muffled sob. He kicks off his shoes, gingerly settling onto the bed behind her. Usually, if he gets this close, Trouble is waiting with his teeth bared and claws at the ready, but instead the cat has scooted closer to the object of their shared concern, his tail twitching nervously as she continues to cry.

Eomer tucks himself behind her, relaxing slightly when one of her hands drifts up to pull his arm around her. “Sweetheart, please,” he says, trying to keep his voice even, “talk to me.”

It takes a few more minutes for her to calm down to where she’s not shaking in his arms anymore, and even then, it’s not until Trouble gently nudges his face against her own before she speaks, saying in a tiny voice, “I’m not pregnant.”

Oh, Bema, he thinks, even as he pulls her closer, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. They’ve been married nearly three years now, and they hadn’t been in any hurry to have children, but with Aragorn and Arwen pregnant with their second, and Elboron born a few months back, it’s understandable that Lothiriel has had babies on the brain, and apparently, in her heart. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

She sniffles, but threads her fingers through his all the same. “It’s so stupid–I was only a week late, but I thought–I hoped–” He can hear her swallow, and sees Trouble nuzzle her again. “What if something is wrong with me?” Lothiriel asks, voice as small as he’s ever heard it.

“Then we’ll go to a doctor,” he says, firmly, “it could easily be on my end, Loth, and it isn’t if we’ve really been trying.”

“I know, I know,” she says. “It’s stupid.”

“Not stupid,” he assures her, giving her a gentle tug until she’s rolled over in his arms, facing him, “never stupid. And if something is wrong, well…we’ve got Trouble, haven’t we?”

That startles a watery laugh out of her and she tucks her head under his chin. “You don’t even like Trouble.”

“No, but you do,” Eomer concedes. “I will insist we draw the line at calling him our ‘fur-baby’, or anything else nausea inducing–”

She pinches him. They’re both quiet for a moment, Eomer absent-mindedly running a hand through her hair. Her murmured, “I love you”, is almost lost under the sound of Trouble’s purring, but Eomer hears it all the same.

(A year later, when Elfwine is born, Eomer can only laugh at Faramir’s disgruntled expression when he’s preventing from holding his nephew by a hissing ten-pound ball of yellow fur.

“I see why he’s earned his name,” Eowyn laughs, balancing Elboron on her hip. “What I can’t fathom is how you’ve put up with him for two years, Eomer.”

“We’ve reached an understanding,” Eomer says, attempting to sound regal.

“Or they both realized how much it upset me that they didn’t get along,” Lothiriel adds with a grin. “Neither man nor cat enjoys being made to sleep on the couch.”)

[vinegar--tom]

Tyjo! (A Czech exclamation indicating surprise) I was tagged by @bbuffyy to tell five things about myself! And as soon as I’ve seen it and read her hilarious answers I went into an automatic brainstorm “five things? Here, have five million! The time you didn’t want to let your grandma taste your ice cream because of her dentures! Or when you set up a dinosaur theatre in your room aged 6 and re-enacted the politics debate on tv from earlier that day, the t-Rex standing for the member of the liberal party and stegosaurus as the labour candidate trying to push forward a pension reform, but then they just abandoned their discussion and ate the Barbie. Or when you threw a Caprisun down the highest mountain and your mum made you go down and fetch it and since then you’ve never ever littered anywhere.”

Ok ok I’ll just go with five random things then and leave the rest for a memoir.

1. I have the weirdest dreams. It’s normal for me to dream I’m a different entity, sometimes even a thing. I dreamt I was a penguin who longed to impress his Dad, so I went and won the X-Factor. I was a very old man who owned a train station which burned down later on and I woke up distraught. I was a man from a Colgate Herbal advert and was communicating with Tigger using smoke signals. Once I was a toadstool. Another night the moon was about to fall from the sky and kill us all but I was making sure my suitcase was full to the brim with croissants. I was in the woods and suddenly I heard the creepiest voice emanating from my radio and I knew it was the voice of a dead soldier, I was pulled into a vortex and woke up with my pyjama trousers off.

2. My mum died when I was 17, and when it happened I felt like I had expected it my whole life. I loved my parents so much, that as a kid I worried about something happening to them all the time… at the same time, in a cruel way it also meant I was prepared for it. My mum was a sort of person you couldn’t really imagine old, she was always so lively and beautiful and full of ideas. We argued all the time, of course, especially because we were so alike. I hope to become as fantastic a mum to my own kids as she was. One day she said I’d have a day off school and we went to the cinema and then swimming. She supported me in everything I did and laughed with me over teacher’s note which accused me of repeatedly climbing over the toilet wall (I was 9), she was also the one to introduce me (not personally, unfortunately) to William Blake and William Saroyan and artists and architects I admire to this day. We spent every summer hiking in the mountains and when we got richer we travelled abroad. I’ll never forget the night we were leaning on the balcony of our Austrian chalet, watching the extremely bright stars you only get deep in the mountains, smelling the dewy meadows all around us. We were in the Austrian Alps in the summer 2007 when my mum went back to the car to get something and then returned much later, looking bewildered and saying she’d got disoriented. We were worried but for the rest of the holiday everything was fine so we forgot about it. Then about a month after that my mum, grandma and my little brother were on their way home and mum suddenly lost control of the wheel, went completely blank and had my grandma not stepped on the brake, they would’ve definitely ended up in an accident. Later, in the hospital, we were told my mum suffered a seizure. We were confused - she didn’t have a history of brain problems, epilepsy or anything of that nature. 5 years prior to this incident, she had a melanoma removed from her back. A small, insignificant mole which was however malign. She was told everything seemed fine and annual CT screening hadn’t revealed anything suspicious. And yet, the melanoma managed to metastasise and find its way to the brain. We were optimistic until the last couple of days she died. We believed the chemo and radiotherapy and the specialist care would work, and even though we could see her getting worse we never allowed ourselves to see a different outcome. When it happened I felt numb. I don’t believe in God, none of us do, but I find that more comforting than the idea of having one’s life in the hands of an omniscient being. We are all made of star matter and at some point we return to the stars, to become part of something new. I regret it every day, that she’s not here (sometimes, I forget to regret, especially when I’m doing something rubbish, like job hunting; but then I regret twice the next day when I’m having fun), that she’s not seen me graduate, not met my wicked (in the British sense of the word, he’s not evil, you fools) boyfriend who’s now a doctor and takes good care of me and who helped me understand what happened to her; that she never got slobbered over by Kira or that she doesn’t know how good my brother got in CS and how despite his gaming background he can cook a decent schnitzel,…and she would be so proud of how well our Dad has handled it all…

3. Okay, this was extremely long and sad, so a more uplifting one: I had the best childhood, I was very lucky because of the area I grew up in which was quite safe and meant that me and my friends could spend all day outside exploring (except when we were fighting over the controllers while playing Tomb Raider). Our main quest was the search for what we called a bunker, a hiding place where we’d store all our war treasure. We’d also have sleepovers every weekend and for some reason we’d always bring our own bedding with us (I was very attached to my Lion King quilt), and I remember once I left my friend’s house rollerblading downhill holding a quilt and a pillow, not being able to see over my load. We also stole a tiny willow from someone’s garden (don’t ask), and we got caught but when the adults questioned us we said nothing at all so they had to let us go. And we found a dog and secretly brought it to my room but we’re forced to take it back. We climbed on the roof of a hospital and…peed down it. Yup. Two twelve-year-olds and a nine-year-old, you can go and ask them why they did it, I’ve no idea.

4. Since I was 12, every year, my grandma would take me on small sightseeing trips abroad. We’ve been to Austria, Italy, Switzerland, Ireland, Scotland, England, Belgium and The Netherlands together, to some places several times. I was always looking forward to it all year, and so was my grandma who had grown up under communism and unable to travel until she was almost fifty. As soon as the Iron Curtain fell, she began venturing abroad, and eventually finding her heart belonged to the Dolomites, the most beautiful mountain range in the world (I’m biased). Apart from my love of hiking, she also ignited my enthusiasm for literature and had provided me with my first Erich Maria Remarque at the age of 10 :)

5. I realised that I’ve probably already written 635342 things rather than five, thanks to a crafty use of paragraphs. Quick facts: the same grandma had once seen a proper ghost, it was in the woods near an ancient castle and there was a knight in full armour and with her there were 4 other people who had also seen it and none of them were on mushrooms. When I was very little I had an alternative persona called “The Sailor Mother Cat” and an invisible friend called Marble. My favourite anime is Fullmetal Alchemist and favourite book Lanark by Alasdair Gray. I love reading plays even more than novels. I’m interested in pretty much everything so I can spend years on Wikipedia. I hate butterflies.

[josephkitchen0]

How to Raise a Barn Cat Right

It’s a tale as old as time. Cats go with barns. Our hard working barn cats are essential as a natural way to get rid of mice. Not only do they keep mice at bay, they also use the rodents they catch as snacks and gifts! What a pleasant surprise to find as you head into the barn on a chilly morning. A few of our barn cats have been gifted to us and some have been sought out. When we lose a couple to old age or illness, we do adopt some new cats for the barn. Our barn cats are an integral part of homesteading today for us, but anyone interested in working cats should first research how to raise a barn cat.

Since they work so hard, our barn cats deserve to be treated like other high-performing work animals. I have heard people state opinions about how you shouldn’t feed them much because then they won’t be hungry enough to chase their own dinner! Nonsense! If you want an animal to perform work for you, then you should feed it adequate nutrition so it has the energy and stamina to perform.

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You have the farm, or homestead, and the barn for your animals. Now you have added the barn cats or they have found their way to your barn on their own. How do you care for these somewhat independent felines so that they live healthy long lives?

Spay or Neuter All Cats

A friend once told me that cats are like paper clips. They are everywhere, and in a lot of ways, she was right. The reason that cats are everywhere and that shelters are overrun with unwanted cats and kittens is because people simply don’t make the effort to spay or neuter their pets. Many animal welfare organizations now offer discount spay and neuter services. The local Animal Control facility, in my area,  now offers spayed and neutered cats to farm owners if they will care for them as barn cats. This is a big step from a few years ago when you had to promise that the cat would be a house cat! The unwanted cat population will continue to grow as a problem unless all cat owners choose to spay and neuter.

Feral cats are another problem contributed to by careless or unthinking cat owners. Cats left intact and allowed to roam free and “be a cat” adds to the feral cat population. These felines are often not capable of being house pets and often the only choice is to euthanize. With some training, feral cats can often be acclimated to stay around a barn and hunt mice. The process involves keeping them in a crate for an extended time while being fed and cared for daily. The thought is that they will begin to associate the barn with food and shelter and when let out of the crate the feral cats won’t stray far. They may never be affectionate like a house cat, but they can be very good at hunting rodents.

Veterinary Care

An important point when learning how to raise a barn cat is just as your livestock and house pets need regular checkups and vaccinations, so will your barn cats. At the bare minimum, a rabies vaccination is probably required by your local government. This not only protects the cat but also protects you and your other pets from being exposed to the rabies virus. Feline Leukemia, Tetanus and Distemper are other vaccinations that will help your outdoor barn cat resist deadly illness.

While we are talking about veterinary care, let’s not forget to keep toxic substances put away from curious felines. A lot of machinery liquids are toxic, such as antifreeze. Wormers meant for livestock can also be fatal to cats. Any pesticides should be stored where cats cannot access them. Curiosity really can kill the cat.

Shelter

You are probably wondering how to keep outdoor cats warm. Assuming that you actually have a barn on your farm, the barn cats will do just fine curling up in a corner during cold or bad weather. Our cats find lots of creative spots to take refuge or sneak in a cat nap. During extreme cold snaps, we have pampered our cats by building a small hut out of hay bales. They walk in and curl up in the insulation of warm hay and sleep through the storms.

Nutritional Needs

Cats need a diet that contains quality protein. Living outside, chasing rodents, eating rodents, running from the big dogs, all these activities require strong bodies and lots of energy. Cats are carnivores. They only eat meat. Cats do not need vegetables, sweets, or grain fillers. Most dry cat foods contain a protein amount of 22 percent or higher. Unless your cat has urinary tract issues, feed a high-quality protein rich food. Our cats are rather spoiled for barn kitties. They have their own bowls and get fed twice a day, just like everyone else in the barnyard. Not only do they get dry cat food in their bowl, they also share a can of cat food. Cats often do not drink enough water. Feeding the canned cat food in addition to the dry increases their water intake. In the winter, when bringing warm water to your backyard chickens and dairy goats, make sure you save some for the cats, too. I know my barn cats enjoy a warm drink of water on a freezing cold morning.

Try to give the cats a place to eat where they won’t be chased off by livestock entering the barn, or in our case the dog trying to “share” the dinner. We put shelves up in the barn that the cats can access, and we feed the cats on the shelves. So far I have not seen the goats try to get the cat food up there, but they seem to be forming a plan.

To Collar or Not to Collar

Outdoor animals and collars do not always mix. The barn cat can get the collar caught on something, get caught in a fight with another animal, catch the collar on a tree branch or other mishap, with dire results. We chose to not use collars on our barn cats. If you feel a collar is necessary, purchase what is called a “breakaway” collar. The breakaway collar is designed to snap apart if it encounters resistance. It might save your cat’s life.

If losing your barn cat is a concern for you, microchipping, performed by a veterinary office might be a good alternative.

Get to know your cat’s habits and routine. I know that my cats are normally eager to greet me each morning. If one is missing, and still not seen by dinner, I know it has either gone off chasing something or it might have been locked in a shed on the farm. Once I had a cat hitch a ride to a neighboring state with the equine dentist. He had left his truck open while treating the horses. The cat climbed into the tool area and fell asleep. I am sure he was pretty surprised to wake up far from home. Luckily I knew that Tigger rarely left the farm. I started to think about what had gone on the day before and made some calls to people who had been on the farm. Fortunately, the Equine Dentist’s wife had decided to hold onto Tigger for a couple days to see if anyone would call about a missing cat!

Another time, Gremlin had worked her way to the back of a storage shed and became stuck. While looking for her, I heard a very faint meow. I knew she had to be somewhere! They usually don’t miss a meal.

Any changes in appetite, behavior or disposition should be noted and observed. Just as with house pets, catching any illness in its early stages will give the barn cat a much higher rate of recovery.

I have found our barn cats to be extremely intelligent, sociable members of our farm family. I wouldn’t have a barn without them. Oh, and yes, they do catch mice too. I hope this helps give you some insight into how to raise a barn cat.

Originally published in 2015 and regularly vetted for accuracy.

How to Raise a Barn Cat Right was originally posted by All About Chickens

[florincia-blog]

Solo 

Tigger warning: Adult situations, gore, rape

Solo about characters job, and the cases she works for the FBI being a Criminologist.

.

.

Florincia woke up, her heart thundering and dampened in sweat. For a moment she thought she was still there, in the depth of her nightmare. But after a few minutes of her eyes darting around she realised she was safe in the comfort of her own bedroom. It was the soft ringing of her phone that broke her free from her dreams. Playing the factory set classical tune through the speakers, telling her someone was calling. She already knew who would be calling at 2:30 in the morning. It was Special Agent Tucker Milolo, her senior officer. He’d been working in the unit for years, and yet somehow he was able to sleep a full night. She herself had been working there for over a year, and the latest case had her tossing and turning through all hours of the night. It haunted her.

Please don’t be another victim. She sent a silent prayer to someone, god or maybe just the world. It was hard for her to decide what to believe in anymore. “Hello,” She answered a knot in her chest growing.

“Florincia, they found another body.” Tucker’s voice was level as it always was, but there was the smallest hint of sadness behind it. Something you’d only notice if you worked shoulder to shoulder with someone for over a year like she had.

“Is it the same M.O?” She asked her voice coming out as a sigh, a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding until then. She didn’t have to ask really. It was always the same, for the last four months. She lifted herself up off the comfort of her pillow and grabbed a cigarette, a bad habit she’d only recently picked up from all nighters looking through files. Every victim had different names, different jobs, but there was always something the same.

*Each victim was female. Between the ages of 23-30

*Each Victim had brown hair and blue eyes.  (These similarities lead us to believe there is an emotional connection, maybe the mother of the killer of a wife.)

*Each Victim is brutally tortured, beaten and raped for over forty-eight hours.

*The extent of this is: electrical burning of the arms face, torso, legs and genitals. Breaking of the fingers and or removal of the nails, penetration of foreign object. (Object leaves wooden splinters tracing back to Brett Bros MM110 Maple Wood Bat Untracable)

*The killer seems to be sporadic during the torture but coherent during the clean up, leading us to think he may be experiencing a psychotic break. The level of torture also leads us to believe this is personal he’s making a point with each victim, maybe releasing rage from an over bearing partner.

*A note made from the victim's blood is always found.

“This is.. Different.” He mumbled.

“I’m on my way.” She mumbled into the speaker before lighting her cigarette, and hanging up. The tired hung over woman swung her feet of the bed, forcing herself to stand on the cold hard wood that cleared her mind from the tired feeling that washed over her. Quickly she peeled the sweat stained nighty from her skin and tossed it aside into a pile of dirty clothes that needed to be washed. She promised herself she’d get it done when she had time. If she had time. She got dressed pulling on a pair of black tight dress pants that held the curve of her hips, and a navy blue blouse to match. Her red waves she pulled into a tight ponytail at the top of her head.

Once she was dressed she pulled on her boots and headed out. It was quite, the late fall night chilled her to the bone as she drove. Putting in the address for the crime scene into her GPS. She stopped only for two coffees at a local McDonalds, wasn’t her best choice but they needed it. It woke her up just in time, she was pulling into a driveway in front of a dole grey single story house. The grass outside was well maintained. Even with the time of year it was most of the leaves were still green. Cops stood talking outside, a few Flora recognised from previous cases. Others must have been rookies. Tucker stood on the porch his arms crossed as he waited for her. He was tall, with black hair that withered at the front from years of stress. Deep crows feet played at the corners of his almost black eyes.   

“Catch me up on what I don’t know,” She said, all business as she climbed the stairs.

“Victim’s name is Amber Bowers, head of Bowers Tech, and is a single devorsy.” Devorsy that was strange, up until then all the victims were women who’d never been in a serious relationship otherwise alone. “Also mother of Jayleen Bowers, a six year old. She’s missing.”

Flora stopped before entering the house, her eyes going wide as she looked at her partner. “She has a daughter? How long has the kid been reported missing.” She asked her voice going high slightly as anxiety began to build deep in her chest.

“Two days, the school called her father, so he showed up after not being able to get a hold of his ex wife.”

“Is he being questioned, maybe its a copy cat.” She told him continuing inside. But once she caught sight of the scene she knew it wasn’t there was no way. Written across the room in blood, on the far wall was her name. F-L-O-R-I-N-C-I-A Find me. In front of it in clear view of the window looking out on the front porch was the mothers mangled body. For a second she wanted to throw up. There was so much blood. You’d think she’d be used to it by now. But this was worse. Worse than anything she’d seen. Even by this perp. The skin was peeled from her fingers, leaving only nubs of muscle and flesh to be seen. Her face was burned beyond recognizing that she was ever human, the smell of charred flesh still lingered in the air. The most noticeable thing of all though was the chunks of flesh and hair that had been sculpted from her skull. There was so much anger this time, it practically puddled from the body. “How long did she endure this,” Flora asked unable to pull her trembling gaze from the horrific scene. There was only one thing that ran through her mind.

The little girl, her daughter, was probably witness to what happened. Watching her mother scream and beg to be killed. “They said she was probably tortured for the entire two days, maybe longer before her heart gave out.”  

Upon closer inspection she noticed bite marks. Something that hadn’t been found before on a victim. She stopped one of the officers that were passing by. “ Have Katie swab every bite mark for Saliva, and check the database for any matching dental records.

“She was home alone,” Flora said noticing a single microwave lunch sitting on the coffee table, it had to be at least three days old by then. “ That’s when she heard a knock on the door. She must have known him somehow, because she let him in. That’s when he attacked.” She could see the struggled played across the room, the table next to the door was knocked over the phone and keys that had been on top flung across the room. The curtain that was once up on the window was ripped  free, “she almost got away. She was headed towards the kitchen to go out the back door when he hit her with something,” it was like a movie that played out in her head as she connected the dots. “Probably his bat, he tortured her, until the school bus came, and her daughter came home. Then there was another struggle.” She noted the backpack forgotten about down the hall. Each time she pointed something out a picture was taken. She followed down the hall to the little girls room. The door was left open. There were toys flug towards the hall as if she tried fighting him off. She could see the little girl being caught and drug back into the living room where she was forced to watch her mother being tortured for two days until he grew tired of his latest victim and left.

“Put out a APV on any cars trying to leave town through the highways, have officers posted on every back road.” She came to a sudden realisation. There was something he liked about Jayleen, and she was on a road to being groomed for him. That’s why he took her. That’s why he let her live. There was an urgency to her words now as she left the house descending the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Tucker called out after her fallowing her to her 2014 Chevy impala.

“ I need to go back to HQ and do some research, go back with the body and tell me if Katie gets anything back.” He raised a brow at her ordering him around and she smiled awkwardly and shrugged her shoulders pulling out of the driveway. There was something they hadn’t looked into something she needed to know. And now time was running out on a innocent little girl. She had to make a break. It was now or never before another victim was weighed on her conscious.      

[josephkitchen0]

How to Raise a Barn Cat Right

It’s a tale as old as time. Cats go with barns. Our hard working barn cats are essential as a natural way to get rid of mice. Not only do they keep mice at bay, they also use the rodents they catch as snacks and gifts! What a pleasant surprise to find as you head into the barn on a chilly morning. A few of our barn cats have been gifted to us and some have been sought out. When we lose a couple to old age or illness, we do adopt some new cats for the barn. Our barn cats are an integral part of homesteading today for us, but anyone interested in working cats should first research how to raise a barn cat.

Since they work so hard, our barn cats deserve to be treated like other high-performing work animals. I have heard people state opinions about how you shouldn’t feed them much because then they won’t be hungry enough to chase their own dinner! Nonsense! If you want an animal to perform work for you, then you should feed it adequate nutrition so it has the energy and stamina to perform.

Dairy Goats are Delightful!

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You have the farm, or homestead, and the barn for your animals. Now you have added the barn cats or they have found their way to your barn on their own. How do you care for these somewhat independent felines so that they live healthy long lives?

Spay or Neuter All Cats

A friend once told me that cats are like paper clips. They are everywhere, and in a lot of ways, she was right. The reason that cats are everywhere and that shelters are overrun with unwanted cats and kittens is because people simply don’t make the effort to spay or neuter their pets. Many animal welfare organizations now offer discount spay and neuter services. The local Animal Control facility, in my area,  now offers spayed and neutered cats to farm owners if they will care for them as barn cats. This is a big step from a few years ago when you had to promise that the cat would be a house cat! The unwanted cat population will continue to grow as a problem unless all cat owners choose to spay and neuter.

Feral cats are another problem contributed to by careless or unthinking cat owners. Cats left intact and allowed to roam free and “be a cat” adds to the feral cat population. These felines are often not capable of being house pets and often the only choice is to euthanize. With some training, feral cats can often be acclimated to stay around a barn and hunt mice. The process involves keeping them in a crate for an extended time while being fed and cared for daily. The thought is that they will begin to associate the barn with food and shelter and when let out of the crate the feral cats won’t stray far. They may never be affectionate like a house cat, but they can be very good at hunting rodents.

Veterinary Care

An important point when learning how to raise a barn cat is just as your livestock and house pets need regular checkups and vaccinations, so will your barn cats. At the bare minimum, a rabies vaccination is probably required by your local government. This not only protects the cat but also protects you and your other pets from being exposed to the rabies virus. Feline Leukemia, Tetanus and Distemper are other vaccinations that will help your outdoor barn cat resist deadly illness.

While we are talking about veterinary care, let’s not forget to keep toxic substances put away from curious felines. A lot of machinery liquids are toxic, such as antifreeze. Wormers meant for livestock can also be fatal to cats. Any pesticides should be stored where cats cannot access them. Curiosity really can kill the cat.

Shelter

You are probably wondering how to keep outdoor cats warm. Assuming that you actually have a barn on your farm, the barn cats will do just fine curling up in a corner during cold or bad weather. Our cats find lots of creative spots to take refuge or sneak in a cat nap. During extreme cold snaps, we have pampered our cats by building a small hut out of hay bales. They walk in and curl up in the insulation of warm hay and sleep through the storms.

Nutritional Needs

Cats need a diet that contains quality protein. Living outside, chasing rodents, eating rodents, running from the big dogs, all these activities require strong bodies and lots of energy. Cats are carnivores. They only eat meat. Cats do not need vegetables, sweets, or grain fillers. Most dry cat foods contain a protein amount of 22 percent or higher. Unless your cat has urinary tract issues, feed a high-quality protein rich food. Our cats are rather spoiled for barn kitties. They have their own bowls and get fed twice a day, just like everyone else in the barnyard. Not only do they get dry cat food in their bowl, they also share a can of cat food. Cats often do not drink enough water. Feeding the canned cat food in addition to the dry increases their water intake. In the winter, when bringing warm water to your backyard chickens and dairy goats, make sure you save some for the cats, too. I know my barn cats enjoy a warm drink of water on a freezing cold morning.

Try to give the cats a place to eat where they won’t be chased off by livestock entering the barn, or in our case the dog trying to “share” the dinner. We put shelves up in the barn that the cats can access, and we feed the cats on the shelves. So far I have not seen the goats try to get the cat food up there, but they seem to be forming a plan.

To Collar or Not to Collar

Outdoor animals and collars do not always mix. The barn cat can get the collar caught on something, get caught in a fight with another animal, catch the collar on a tree branch or other mishap, with dire results. We chose to not use collars on our barn cats. If you feel a collar is necessary, purchase what is called a “breakaway” collar. The breakaway collar is designed to snap apart if it encounters resistance. It might save your cat’s life.

If losing your barn cat is a concern for you, microchipping, performed by a veterinary office might be a good alternative.

Get to know your cat’s habits and routine. I know that my cats are normally eager to greet me each morning. If one is missing, and still not seen by dinner, I know it has either gone off chasing something or it might have been locked in a shed on the farm. Once I had a cat hitch a ride to a neighboring state with the equine dentist. He had left his truck open while treating the horses. The cat climbed into the tool area and fell asleep. I am sure he was pretty surprised to wake up far from home. Luckily I knew that Tigger rarely left the farm. I started to think about what had gone on the day before and made some calls to people who had been on the farm. Fortunately, the Equine Dentist’s wife had decided to hold onto Tigger for a couple days to see if anyone would call about a missing cat!

Another time, Gremlin had worked her way to the back of a storage shed and became stuck. While looking for her, I heard a very faint meow. I knew she had to be somewhere! They usually don’t miss a meal.

Any changes in appetite, behavior or disposition should be noted and observed. Just as with house pets, catching any illness in its early stages will give the barn cat a much higher rate of recovery.

I have found our barn cats to be extremely intelligent, sociable members of our farm family. I wouldn’t have a barn without them. Oh, and yes, they do catch mice too. I hope this helps give you some insight into how to raise a barn cat.

Originally published in 2015 and regularly vetted for accuracy.

How to Raise a Barn Cat Right was originally posted by All About Chickens