#I also like to think howdy when bored just wiggles his head around moving his antennae in swaying motions
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Thank you for indoctrinating me into being a Wally/Howdy enjoyer. It's not the pair I would have expected to see but still a cute pairing (with GREAT potential angst) nonetheless.
I saw a pajama-outfit meme a few days earlier that fit these two very well, though I forgot to save the actual thing itâs self smhhhh (basically itâs the ship dynamic of âslay slay bich serveâ and other is literally just in their boxers MCGFGYDHJDD)
I like to think when ever howdy is content/sleepy/wholesomely happy, his antennae wiggle a lil bit
also bonus Sally and Julie cause I love their chaotic energy MCHHDH
#I also like to think howdy when bored just wiggles his head around moving his antennae in swaying motions#Heâs absolutely vibin dawg ainât nothin gunna break his stride-#Unless some 12 apple tall rizzed up blue jolly rancher lookin motherfugger waltzes in with his big ol dog#Welcome home#welcome home howdy#howdy pillar#welcome home wally#wally darling#welcome home frank#frank frankly#welcome home julie#julie joyful#welcome home sally#sally starlet#Wallypillar#Does Julie and sally even have a ship name JDHDGDHD#ALSO WOO YEAH WOO YEAH IV BEEN SEEIN MORE HOWDY APPRECIATION#AND EVEN FOR THE SHIP YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH#The propaganda is working lmAOOOO
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New Traditions and Worlds
My @homestuckss gift for @dykeiatrist ! I used âDavekat,â âJane,â and âHurt/Comfortâ (with a bit of DirkJake) to create a cute little holiday fic! Hope you enjoy it :D Have a wonderful holiday season!!
Also on ao3Â (@detective_in_space if the link doesnât work!)
âTwas the week before Christmas,â Dave started before pausing, âYo Rox, whatâs somethinâ that rhymes with Christmas?â
âAss? Wait, no, no that doesnât work⊠ChristmasâŠâ Roxy muttered, âOkay so, like, the only thing Iâve got is Christmas, but you absolutely cannot rhyme âChristmasâ with âChristmas,â right?â
âYouâre definitely right,â Dave sighed as he scratched out the words in his notebook, âDude, like absolutely nothinâ rhymes with Christmas words.â
Roxy moved over and rested their hand on his shoulder, âKarkat will appreciate the thought at least. Hey, there are other things than Christmas raps, like festive interpretive dances! Or Festive slam poetry?â
âWell, duh, itâs Karkat weâre talkinâ bout,â Dave laughed, but in his defense, it was true. Karkat would yell and insist that he hated Daveâs most âironicâ gifts, but there was a certain fondness in his tone. Like it was just a whole elaborate game. The edges of Karkatâs eyes would wrinkle as his lips curled into a small grin. A small chuckle would escape, which Dave would obviously point out, and in response, Karkat would punch him (before wrapping him in a hug). Oh god, that was the bestâŠÂ
âHey sleeping beauty,â Roxy interrupted, as they lightly hit the side of Daveâs head, âDid ya invite me over here just to fall asleep?â
âNah dawg, I was just thinkinâ about the usual,â Dave brushed their hand aside.Â
âSo,â Roxy drawled, âKarkat?â Roxy wiggled their eyebrows at Dave.Â
âNo,â Dave exclaimed, âFuck, I mean, no. Hey, do ya know any, like, traditions that people do for Christmas and all that jazz.â Now that was a smooth change of topics.Â
âSmooth like a babyâs bottom,â Roxy laughed, âBut, nah. I didnât even know Christmas was like a real thing⊠thought it was an urban myth or something.â Oh, right. Roxy lived in some highly-futuristic society that was enslaved by a fish bitch, but there was none of that oppressive dictatorship on Earth C. Trolls, Carpacians, Humans, and well, any other species were free to chill by the fire and enjoy whatever holiday they wanted. Now that, was what sweet, sweet democracy was about (preach Obama).Â
âLit, lovinâ that weâre both oblivious of any cultural traditions⊠hey, you think one of the Crocker-Harley-English⊠berts... would know more about this? Iâm feelinâ like theyâd be all up in that shit,â Dave said, âOh fuck, Iâm so smart. Thatâs like totally their thing.â
After quickly picking up all his stuff and saying goodbye to Roxy, Dave picked up his phone and dialed Jane Crocker, the holiday expert, on his way home. Wait, oh fuck, what if she was busy? Itâs not like he usually talked to her, so was it out of the question? Oh no, maybe he shouldâve just texted John...
The phone picked up, âHello, Jane Crocker speaking?â
âOh⊠oh! Hey Jane, itâs Dave⊠ya know⊠Dirkâs cooler bro,â Dave started. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket and kicked a stray pebble on the sidewalk. Yes, he could be floating around, but exercise was important.Â
âWell, howdy there Dave. Itâs been a while since weâve talked, hasnât it,â she chuckled, âAnyways, did you need anything?â
âSo, like, Rox and I were talkinâ about Christmas and stuff⊠and well, weâre both dumb and have no idea what people actually do for it, so I thought you might be the expert on the subject? Because it totally seems like itâd be up your ally,â Dave rambled on.Â
âWell golly, Iâm flattered. Itâs been a while since Iâve actually celebrated the holiday, but of course, Iâll help you! Before the game, my father and I had so much fun celebrating⊠letâs see⊠Well, Iâm sure you already know this, but weâd go out to a farm together and pick out a tree. Iâd always search for the fattest tree, and my father would help me cut it down. And then weâd go get Hot Cocoa and pick out ornaments together, and well, oh sorry, Iâve gotten a bit off-topic, havenât I,â Jane apologized.
âNo, no! Youâre literally the best⊠lemme just get a piece of paper to write this on,â Dave fumbled around his captchalogue, and pulled out an old notebook (of course, with Obama on the cover). âOkay cool, I got one, hit me with all that sweet, sweet info.â
âAlright⊠letâs see, what else⊠oh, well after we decorated the tree, weâd make and frost sugar cookies and cakes together. Oh! Karkat and you are welcome to come over together sometime and make cookies with me if youâd like,â Jane offered. Hell yeah, she was a literal legend. Roxy and Dirk had the best friends.Â
âYeah, dog, weâd love to! Iâll hit you up with a date once Karkat checks the calendar. You know him and⊠schedulinâ,â Dave said as he continued to write down Janeâs suggestions.Â
Jane chuckled, âSounds good⊠and one more thing⊠My father and I would always put cheesy Christmas music on. That was the best⊠weâd make absolute fools out of ourselves, but it was so much fun. Literally, weâd just dance around and belt the lyrics⊠those weâre the days,â Janeâs voice started to crack⊠fuck⊠had Dave made her cry? âSorryâŠâ she continued, âI donât mean to be so emotional. Oh lord, Iâm sorry. I⊠I hope I helped you a bit, and just, feel free to come over whenever for cookiesâŠâÂ
âFuck, no,â Dave searched his brain⊠what would Karkat say⊠âSorry for bringinâ up those memories. I know it sucks and all. Iâll give you some time and just hit you up later.âÂ
âYes, thatâd be great⊠see you later then,â Jane said as she hung up.Â
Well, shit, Dave had already made one person cry and it was only 11 a.m. Maybe Christmas was just an emotional time and stuff. Jane was cool, though, so he hoped that she was okay. Plus, she gave him some kickass advice, and he was so ready to get his holiday spirit on.Â
The rest of the walk to his place was boring. Dave tried to come up with some more sick raps for his Christmas album, featuring the new and improved version of âJingle Bells.â The air was crisp and way too cold for Daveâs Texan roots (he blamed John for the freezing wind), so he was thankful when he finally reached the door.Â
âYo, Karkat, Iâm home, and I come with words of wisdom from the one and only Jane Crocker herself,â Dave announced as he closed the door behind him. He attempted to throw his coat and hang it up, but it fell clumsily to the floor. He shrugged it off and continued through the cozy lilâ condo, finding his way into the kitchen, where he found Karkat doing a load of laundry. Yes, the washing machine and dryer were in the kitchen⊠it was only the most ironic, British mom location for them. Dave, being the coolest man to ever exist, ran up to Karkat and hugged him from behind.Â
âJesus fucking shit Dave! Are you trying to give me a blood pusher attack?â Karkat screeched as he jumped like fifty feet in the air (okay maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it basically happened).Â
âNah dude, you wouldnât dare be all anime protagonist on me and faint. Like, imagine me runninâ to cradle you in my arms while you murmur âIâm goinâ to have to kawaii the shit out of your desu.â Literally, imagine thatâ Dave rambled.Â
Karkat groaned at this, âStop spending time with Dirk. Youâre turning into a shitty weeb Karkat said as he pushed Dave away.Â
âI canât help it⊠itâs who I am,â Dave clutched yo his chest and fell to the ground, pulling the other boy down with him. Karkatâs words. The worst weapon of all.Â
âIâm going to go live with Kanaya and Rose,â Karkat grumbled, falling to the ground as dramatically as possible (making sure to land on Dave with as much force as possible).Â
âLike youâd do that,â Dave scoffed, âSheâs worse than me. Plus, is you did, we couldnât be all romantic and celebrate human holidays together. Câmon dude, we gotta act like a high school couple. Get all up in each otherâs space and kiss under the mistletoe. Oh, speakinâ of that! I talked to Jane, who is literally the best, and she was like âoh Dave! Check out this super lit tradition I did back on the o.g. Earth. Like, you get to cut down a tree and decorate with the most ironic ornaments.ââÂ
âSound detrimental to the environment and a waste of time. Whatâs the point of celebrating a fucking tree,â Karkat asked.
âDude, itâs a pine tree, which is superior to all other trees. Besides, itâs about family and friends. I mean, I never celebrated Christmas with Bro, but you canât just diss Karen like that,â Dave said, using his best white mom voice.Â
âFine whatever. Iâll celebrate your dumb human holiday, but I call picking out the decorations,â Karkat bargained as he stood up and dusted off his pants (getting rid of Daveâs germs).
âHell yeah, deal! Get your coat on, weâre gonna get a tree and bring it in our house,â Dave exclaimed, quickly getting off the ground.Â
The boys quickly got ready and weâre out the door, hopping into their car. Dave has gotten it because well, basically of all Karkat and his friends could fly. He has listened to Karkatâs complaining enough and invested in an older, used minivan. And man, did he love the thing. Hey, maybe heâd become a car person after the holidays were over.Â
Dave was about to drive to the nearest park with a saw, but Karkat demanded that he call and ask Jane first. Jane recommended a small farm in the middle of nowhere, and with the use of a GPS, they eventually found their way there (after a few hours of trial and error).
âJane said that fat trees were better, but honestly, Iâm lovinâ this tall ass one right here. I mean look at it. Itâs taller than the Empire State Buildinâ⊠wait, is that still a thing? Like an Earth C Empire State Buildinâ?â In Daveâs defense, it was a totally valid question. Like, did Earth C have the same seven wonders of the world? Who knew.Â
âShut the fuck up. Weâre here for a tree, not imperialism,â Karkat groaned, âAnd besides, our house isnât big enough for that.â
âBut Karkat, the economy,â Dave whined, âBut like, what about this tiny one⊠it reminds me of you, short stacks.â
Karkat shoved him, âAnd the other reminds me of your flat ass.âÂ
âIâll take that as a compliment⊠since you're lookinâ at my ass and all,â Dave pulled down his Stiller shades and winked.
âShut up, you fucking twink. Letâs just celebrate your weird human holidays and get the tree,â Karkat grumbled as he attempted to pick up the tree.Â
Dave doubled over laughing as he watched the 5â3 troll struggle, but once Karkat shot him an angry glare, he rushed over to aid him (with his huge muscles, of course). âNice, I can feel it pokinâ me through my mittens. Ten out of ten would recommend.â
After endless trial and error, the pair managed to carry the tree to the register and on top of their car, a red minivan that Dave had picked out.
âSo,â Karkat started, âWe just put a tree in our block and decorate it? And then some creepy old man flies around the world and gives presents to children by putting them under the tree?â His eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to understand human traditions.
âDude, I canât even explain it. Humans can come up with some weird shit when they put their minds to it,â Dave laughed. The rest of the car ride consisted of Karkat rambling about trollian traditions. Their hands managed to find one another and rest comfortably on the center console (Dave, of course, kept one hand on the steering wheel at all times⊠hey, safety is important).Â
Their next stop was the local hardware store. It was owned by a sweet, older Carpacian. In all honesty, she reminded Dave of the Mayor⊠a kindred spirit whose goal in life was to just lead and help make others happy. She made the place seem like the opposite of a place to buy tools. The place was decorated with festive garlands and cheery music rang through the air. Dave waved at her as the pair walked towards the Christmas section.
âSo,â Dave drawled, âWhat kind of ornaments are we lookinâ for? Personally, I wanna find a dick shaped one⊠for the memories of cockscotch. Bless that game.â
âThis is a family store, dick-muncher! And weâre getting triple-f ornaments! Family fucking friendly!â Karkat screeched, marching ahead (but not before grabbing Daveâs hand and pulling him along).Â
âFine, fine, I get it⊠gotta make our house grub friendly, for when John comes over,â Dave snickered as they walked the ornaments aisle. Who knew there were so many different variations in fucking decorations? You had some for your Karens, poor college students, newlyweds, too many to count. Karkat busied himself with the⊠glass ball? Well, whatever that kind of ornament was called.Â
âThese are nice,â Karkat noted, showing Dave a set of jade glass baubles (haha, like Kanaya).
âBut like, dude, theyâre so borinâ,â Dave whined, âWe gotta spruce this tree up⊠get it? Spruce is a kind of tree.â Dave chuckled at his own dad joke. Shit, he was hilarious.Â
âHey, Iâm just trying to make this actually look nice. Weâll get other colors too, and âspruceâ it up, as you say,â Karkat said as he went back to check out the boring ornaments. Dave, on the other hand, went to look at the childrenâs ornaments on the other side of the aisle. Most of them were new pop culture things that Dave didnât recognize (God was he growing old). However, there were a few that grabbed his attention, and obviously, he was gonna have to show these to Karkat.Â
âYo, dawg. Check out these cool little fuckers. Theyâll make our tree look mads cool,â Dave opened his hands to reveal a bunch of little crab ornaments. They were cute and not boring glass balls. Plus, crabs were like Karkatâs thing⊠heâd definitely appreciate them.
âCrustaceans? Donât you just know the way to my blood pusher,â Karkat rolled his eyes, âJust put them in the basket before I change my mind.â
Dave threw his fist in the air and gave Karkat a side hug, âHell yeah, you wonât regret this. We gonna get so festive up in this joint. All the moms will be begginâ to check out the coolest tree in the neighborhood, which if ya didnât catch on, will be ours.â
âYou got me. Iâm only doing this to make Carol jealous. She fucking deserves it,â Karkat chuckled. Yes, Dave knew he was doing swell when he made Karkat laugh. If only he could give himself a, well earned, golden star.Â
âDude yes, I fuckinâ hate Carol. Câmon, letâs get more lights. We gotta make this flashy and blow a fuse, speakinâ of which⊠do you know how to fix a broken fuse? Because I do not wanna call Dirk over to fix it for us. Heâll be like âDave, Iâm just tryinâ to celebrate the holidays with my darlinâ boyfriend⊠have I mentioned Jakeâs ass? Damn, lemme just rant about that and never actually fix your broken utilities.â Can you imagine the pain, Karkat,â Dave lamented? He loved his brother, donât get him wrong, but he did not want to mess with Dirk this close to the holiday season.Â
âI can, actually. Remember what happened the week before Jakeâs birthday? Dirk is batshit crazy, but he gets it from you,â Karkat smirked as Dave feigned an offended expression, âNow, can we stop talking about his love life and actually pick out some decorations?â
The pair still had one more destination before they could go home and relax, maybe even decorate the tree⊠but knowing themselves, theyâd probably wait until Christmas Eve to put the new lights and ornaments up.Â
âOh my goodness, Iâm so glad you two could make it,â Jane said as she opened the door, âIâve already got everything out, so all we have to do is bake and decorate cookies⊠and perhaps eat a bit of dough.â She ushered the two inside.Â
âHell yeah, youâre the best Janey,â Dave said as the pair put away their coats and walked to the kitchen with Jane. Everything was so clean, especially when compared to their house. Karkat would always fuss about his habits, but Dave felt a sort of comfort in the messiness. So what if there were shirts thrown on the floor and an unorganized stack of papers on the kitchen table. It built⊠character.Â
âIâve never had what you humans call âcookies,â but thank you for having us,â Karkat added.Â
âOh please, itâs no problem. I love baking, and I especially love helping people get into the holiday spirit,â Jane said. The trio fell into a simple routine once Jane showed them the recipe, helping the two boys when need be. Dave filled the silence by rambling under his breath about whatever he deemed important, while Karkat concentrated on making his cookies perfect.Â
âHey look,â Dave exclaimed while holding up one of his doughy creations, âItâs a Karkat angel! A Kar-Angel⊠a Karkat Van-Angel!â His cookies were shaped into gingerbread men with nubby horns and an uncharacteristic smile.Â
âAnd I made a Dave-Cookie⊠oh wait, itâs just a blob of dough, my fucking bad,â Karkat retorted, going back to rolling out his dough.Â
It was a long process, but after a few hours, the boys had successfully made their first batch of Christmas sugar cookies. A few of the cookies werenât burnt on the edges, but they were delicious nonetheless. Jane demanded that the pair take home their creations, as she didnât have enough room in her cabinets for more holiday desserts.Â
âGoodness, thank you so much for coming over and making sugar cookies! I havenât had this much fun since⊠well, itâs been a while. Feel free to come by and help me whenever you all would like,â Jane chirped.Â
âOf course, Janey,â Dave replied, âYou best bet weâll be back for some more goodies! Gotta get my housewife on. I canât be accidentally poisoning Karkat with some undercooked cake.âÂ
âYouâve poisoned me with every meal of yourâs, except the Kraft Mac and Cheese, but only because Roxy helped you,â Karkat spat.Â
âOh well, we certainly canât have that. Iâll be seeing you both again soon then. Have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year!â
It was dark by the time they were home. Karkat and Dave both felt the sleepiness enter the body, as they kept yawning. It was too late to decorate the tree, so it was leaned against a corner. The pair immediately plopped down onto the couch and put on a holiday classic, Tim Allenâs âThe Santa Clause,â which Dave argued was the best Christmas movie known to mankind, trollkind, and carpaciankind alike.Â
âYâknow, I never imagined that I would celebrate Christmas. Like, dude, that shit was mads uncool,â Dave said out of the blue, interrupting the beautiful sound of Tim Allen interacting with CGI reindeers and kidnapped children.
Karkat groaned, âWell, me either, yet here I am, celebrating a dumb holiday for dumb human grubs.â He was just trying to enjoy this wonderful holiday film, but with Dave, silence didnât last long. In a way, it provided comfort to the pair. He knew that Dave absolutely hated the silence, as it reminded him of his Bro. For Karkat, Daveâs endless rambling allowed him to take his mind off of his worries. It was an odd relationship, one that had taken years to achieve, but here they were⊠they had made it, yet Karkat knew there were still shaky moments for the two of them. Like now, for example. The pair both would jump around certain barriers, trying desperately to aid one another, while still attempting to not dig too deep.Â
Dave rested his head upon Karkatâs thighs and snuggled into the pile of blankets, reminding him of their time on the meteor, âYâknow, I wouldnât have this whole thing any other way. âM glad my first Christmas is with you, instead of Bro.â His words are slurred together and slightly muffled, and Karkat canât help the stupid ass blush that creeps onto his face at the sound of them.Â
âFuck that guy,â Karkat spits. After a moment, he starts again, this time with a gentler tone, âAnd itâs nice to have you here too, no matter how fucking dumb your endless rants may be.â
Dave could almost hear Dirk whispering âTsundereâ in his ear as he chuckled, âAwe, love you too, KitKat.â He sits back up, nearly smacking the top of his head into Karkatâs jaw. He looks away for a second, briefly hesitating, then leans in, closing the distance between the pair. Itâs just a brief peck, but it leaves the two of them speechless. Dave looks at Karkat through his shades. A light brush coated his cheeks and his lips curled into a small grin.Â
Karkat pulls Dave into his side and looks towards the corner of the living room, where their small, fat tree is leaning against the wall. It was empty and in desperate need of attention (aka Crustacean ornaments). Filled with a sudden burst of energy, he paused the movie and stood up, pulling Dave with him, âGet off your lazy ass and get fucking festive. We have a tree to decorate.â
#hsss2019#homestuckss#dykeiatrist#homestuck#pesterquest#hiveswap#karkat vantas#dave strider#davekat#jane crocker
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Love Guidance - Chapter Six
Word Count: 1771
Notes: Howdy, itâs been a hot minute since Iâve posted the last chapter lmao. Anyways, thereâs not much to say besides if yâall got any questions, feel free to ask.
September 2nd, 2017
Emile woke up early that morning, earlier than what he usually woke up at on the weekends. Emile usually woke up at 9 in the morning, but today, Emile woke up two hours early.
He sighed softly and pushed himself off his bed, gathering some clothes before going across the hall and into the bathroom. Emile placed his clothes on the counter then turned the shower to a decent temperature. After that, Emile took off his pajamas and got in the shower.
Emile hummed 'A Giant Woman' as he washed the shampoo out of his hair then grabbed the bottle of conditioner. Emile put the conditioner in his hair before putting the bottle back and grabbed the body wash.
When he finished his shower and got dressed, Emile quietly made his way into the kitchen. Elliott and Patton were still asleep on the couch, practically using each other as pillows. Emile couldn't help but smile at them, releasing a relaxed sigh.
Emile loved his kids from the bottom of his heart ever since day one. To Emile, it felt like it was only yesterday when he brought Elliot home from the foster group home. He remembered how excited Patton was to finally have someone else to tell his jokes and puns to. He remembered how emotional the three of them had gotten when Emile told Elliott that he was adopting them.
Another relaxed sigh left Emile's mouth when the coffee machine let out a soft beep behind him, telling him the coffee was done. He turned around and went over to the cupboard, grabbing himself mug. Emile then poured some coffee into his mug before placing the coffee pot back on the machine. After doing that, Emile grabbed the creamer from the fridge, pouring a generous amount into his coffee then put it back.
As Emile drank his coffee, he let the family dog, Muffin, outside, letting him do his business. Once Muffin came back inside, Emile closed the door behind him and watched as Muffin went onto the couch, laying down next to Patton. He smiled fondly at the memory of Muffin's first day in the house.
He remembers Patton begging him for months about wanting a dog, promising to take care of the dog as much as possible(Patton was nine at the time, there was no way Emile was letting him take care of a dog by himself). But, nevertheless, Patton had done an amazing job taking care of Muffin when he was younger.
After Emile finished the rest of his coffee, he placed his empty mug in the sink then went back to his room, deciding to get some house chores done while the kids were asleep. He stopped by the laundry room on his way back to his room, grabbing the basket of clean clothes off the floor and carried it to his room.
***
Elliott groaned at they woke up, the sun shining in their eyes. They blinked whatever sleep was left in their eyes before trying to move, only to be trapped by Patton and Muffin. Elliott let out another groan, closing their eyes again. Elliott opened their eyes once more when they heard their phone buzz on the coffee table.
They reached over to the table and grabbed their phone, looking at the screen. It was a message from Mitchell, Elliott's asshole of a boyfriend.
Mitch: hey babe, wyd?
You: Just woke up. Wyd?
Mitch: nothin' much
Mitch: just bored
Mitch: and thinkin' about you, of course ;)
Elliott rolled their eyes, leaving Mitchell on read as they turned their phone off and dropped it on their lap, sighing.
Patton woke up a few minutes later, stretching his arms and almost hit Elliott in the face when he stretched. Once their little brother was fully awake, the two untangled their arms and legs, making sure not to kick or hit each other on accident.
"We good now?" Patton asked once him and Elliott were finally apart.
"Yup. You think Pops is awake?"
Patton shrugged, standing up off the carpeted floor. Muffin sat on the couch and barked, making Patton laugh and pet him. Elliott smiled, pushing themself off the couch. They then made their way to the kitchen, Patton and Muffin followed behind them. Elliott grabbed two bowls and spoon while Patton gave Muffin his food.
"We need more food for Muffin," Patton pointed out, holding up the empty dog food bag.
"Okay, I'll let Pops know," Elliott said, grabbing the cereal box. Patton beamed at Elliott, giving them a quick hug. Elliott laughed as they gave Patton a one-armed hug.
Emile ended up coming back downstairs once he heard laughed, seeing Elliott and Patton in the kitchen. He walked in and hugged both of them, making Patton jump a little before he giggled. Emile laughed, placing a kiss on the two's foreheads.
"Morning Pops," Patton and Elliott greeted at the same time as Patton returned Emile's hug.
"Morning, you two. Whatcha putting together for breakfast?" Emile asked, letting go of his kids. Elliott shrugged, motioning towards the bowls and spoons on the counter. "We're just having cereal for breakfast. Also, we need to get more dog food for Muffin," Elliott explained.
"Okay. I can get some when I bring him to the pet groomers downtown. They have a pet store right next to it," Emile stated.
"Ooh, I wanna come! I've been aching to take Muffin out for a walk, if we are walking there, of course since we don't live that far from the downtown area," Patton said, rambling a little.
"Of course you can come, sweetheart. And we are walking, the weather is too nice to drive in," Emile replied, grabbing himself a bowl and spoon.
"Yay!"
Emile couldn't help but laugh, loving the hyper energy Patton gave off.
The three sat at the counter and had shared a simple breakfast of cereal. Emile was having his second cup of coffee for the day, fully waking himself up this time with this cup.
"So, you have fun last night?" Elliott asked, looking over at their dad. Emile nodded, taking another drink of coffee. "Mhm. I had a fantastic time and I met this nice guy there," Emile replied.
Patton let out a small squeal, "Oooh! Was he cute? What's his name?"
Emile blushed lightly at the second question, setting the mug down. "Well, yes, he is cute but we just met and I don't want to seem like I'm desperate or anything," Emile explained. Patton squealed again, running over to his dad and hugging him.
"Oh my gosh, Pops, you're in love!" Patton looked over at Elliott, "You hear that, Ell? Pops is in love!"
"I am not, you goof. All I said was the guy was cute, I never said I liked him," Emile said, trying not to laugh, "And besides, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like me like that."
A small ding came from Emile's phone and Emile wiggled out of Patton's grip to grab it, looking at the screen to see who it was. And speak of the handsome devil himself; It was Remy.
Remy: Gm cutie <3
You: Morning :)
Remy: [Image attached]
Remy: The puppies have taken my son from me.
The picture Remy had sent Emile was Remy's son, Thomas, with probably 10 to 15 puppies on him and around him.
"Ooh, whose Remy, Pops?" Elliott asked, peering over Emile's shoulder.
"He's the guy I met last night,"
"And you already got his number? Nice,"
"Oh shush, El,"
You: Oh my gosh, he looks just like you
You: I guess I found the new meaning to like father, like son
Remy: Aw, Em, you flatter me ;)
"Oh my gosh, Patton was right, you're head over heels for this Remy guy," Elliott pointed out, placing their's and Patton's empty bowls in the sink. Emile rolled his eyes, focusing back on his conversation with a little smile clear on his face.
You: And you easily make me smile
Remy: That's the plan, Em ;)
And Emile couldn't help but laugh, causing Patton to let out an excited squeal.
***
"Dammy, I am such a disaster," Remy confessed, leaning on the deserted counter.
"No, really, I totally didn't notice," Damian sarcastically shot back, currently feeding the snakes in the reptile section of the store. Thomas was next to him, watching quietly in complete awe. The pet store was pretty empty that day, with it being Saturday and all, meaning people would hold off on running errands till later that afternoon.
Once each snake got their own mouse, Damian hopped off the step ladder, sticking the metal grabber back under the snake cage. He walked back over to the counter with Thomas following close behind him.
"So, Uncle Damian, what's on your work agenda for the day?" Thomas asked, resting his arms on the counter surface.
Damian pursed his lips. "Nothing much really. Brenda asked me to help out at the groomers today due to her main groomer being out sick and the appointment is at 11:45," Damian replied, just as another one of the pet shop employees walked in.
"Morning Courtney," Damian greeted.
"Morning Damian," Courtney greeted back. The flirtatious tone in her voice made Damian roll his eyes in annoyance and looked over at Remy.
"Damn gurl, she still be flirting with you?" Remy asked in a hushed voice, peering at Damian over the top of his sunglasses.
"Yup," Damian replied, saying the letter 'p' with a loud pop noise. "Even though I told her that I am not into women, she still does it," He added in his own hushed voice.
"Why are we talking quietly?" Thomas whispered, clearly confused. Remy laughed, ruffling Thomas' hair. The teen let out his own laugh, batting away his dad's hand.
"Hey Courtney, I need you to cover the counter for a good 45 minutes or so! I gotta go fill in for Brenda's main groomer next door!" Damian called out to the back of the store.
Courtney popped her head out from the break room, a big smile on her face. "Of course, Damian! Anything for you!" She replied, practically skipping over to the counter.
"Thanks!" He called back, disappearing into the hallway that connected the store and groomers, making for easy access. Remy sighed, looking down at his phone and waited for a certain someone to text him while Thomas went to go look at the fish in their tanks.
The bell at the front door rang, not really alarming neither Remy or Courtney. But it was the voice that caught Remy's attention.
"Oh, hi Remy!"
#single dads au#love guidance#remy x picani#sanders sides emile picani#sanders sides dr picani#ct elliot#sanders sides patton#ct mitchell#sanders sides remy#sanders sides deceit#sanders sides#cartoon therapy#thomas sanders#joywrites#joygaytrash
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Howdy!~ How about UT & UF Sans & US & SF Pap in a car and they're in the back while somebody else is driving and the crush falls asleep on their shoulder and then the car takes a sharp turn and the crush just falls into said skelly's lap. Instead of waking up, the crush just curld up into the lap and smile and say the skele's name? In a sweet, "I trust you" way. Sorry if its long!! Thanks in advanceâĄ
Asked by @hoot-eggs before I moved the blog
Sorry that these arenât exactly like the request, but I can only write one scenario so many times without changing it up a bit. I tried to keep the general theme the same though.
US!Papyrus: The most annoying thing about car rides were the fact that he couldnât smoke. Being forced to spend hours in a metal contraption traveling at over 60/mph was bad enough, not being able to calm his nerves while doing it was straight up hell. And since Blue didnât support his smoking habit, he refused to pull over. In fact the only time Papyrus had gotten a chance to smoke a cigarette had been when you needed them to pull over at a gas station so you could use the bathroom. After that he had jokingly said that if Blue could pull over to let you pee, he should give him a smoke break too.
Neither of you had been very amused, to say the least, and he should be thankful for the small break he had been given. But that had been hours ago, and he could feel his hand subconsciously shift towards his pocket, itching to light another cigarette. He resisted the urge and resigned to let his leg tap an annoying rhythm against the floor, the sound of the engine drowned the tapping anyway. Leaning forward a bit, he tried to listen to Sansâ and Alphysâ conversation in the front seat, but he quickly grew bored and turned his focus to you. You werenât asleep, despite looking like it. He could tell the differences, in your breathing and in the way your face twitched when a loose thread tickled your cheek. Heâd spent hours staring at you throughout your friendship, silently admiring you when you werenât paying attention. And he refused to feel weird about it. He liked looking at you, and you werenât bothered by it, so why should he stop? You shifted a little, trying to find a comfortable position with you head against the window. After watching you squirm around for a while, unable to find a way to lean your head just right, he reached an arm out and hooked it on your waist.
Your eyes shot open and looked up as he quietly pulled you against him. Your gaze was dimmed and your eyes hazy, you looked like you were minutes from falling asleep. You made an attempt to speak, but only quiet mumbles could be heard. He hushed you and placed your head on his shoulder, still holding his arm around your waist. You seemed content with this, and closed your eyes as you snuggled into him. A minute passed, and your breaths turned deeper and found a steady rhythm. He loved that sound. It was calming. And if it werenât for the fact that his mind was occupied with his want for a cigarette, he wouldâve probably fallen asleep right then and there, with you in his arms.
He felt content with the situation too, though. And heâd gladly take this over a boring car ride of trying to sleep in the backseat. Heâs zoning out while looking out the window, thinking back on his life, from living in the underground to meeting you and then to late nights together at New Muffetâs.
Heâs in the middle of reenacting a pun battle he had with the king once, when the car turns sharply and his skull is smacked into the window. Sitting up and rubbing his head to get rid of the pain, heâs sure that he must have gotten his sense knocked out of him, because he couldâve sworn that he heard Blue curse. Before he can ask what happened, Alphys turns around in her seat to ask if heâs alright, and tells them that a car almost pushed them off the road.
Holy fuck, he didnât expect that. And for some reason he feels almost guilty for zoning out, like it was his fault because he didnât notice the other car before Blue did. He shakes off the guilt, at least everybody is safe. And nothing happened, nothingâs out of the ordinary.
Except youâre laying down on his lap, which you definitely werenât before. And holy hell, somehow youâre still asleep. Clutching his hoodie like a life line, face scrunched up in sleepy confusion over what happened. The sudden turn of the car must have shaken you, and maybe triggered a nightmare of sorts. Because your face turns from confusion to fright and youâre almost whimpering, your fists tightening around the fabric of his shirt, and your eyes pressing together.
He doesnât know what to do, he wants to wake you but that would only scare you further. Moving carefully, he slowly pets down on your head, flattening your hair down and moving his hand in soothing motions. He hushes you quietly, hoping you can hear it over the car engine and your own nightmare. You flinch when his hand makes contact with you, but slowly your whimpering stops and youâre not moving around as much. After a few more seconds of petting youâre breathing normally, face relaxed as you start to calm down. When he decides that youâre no longer having a nightmare he tries to pull his hand away, but yours shoot up to keep it close to you. Your eyes doesnât open as you quietly breathe out his name, more asleep than awake and still oh so adorable.
ââIâm here, kiddo.ââ is all he says as he continues to rub your scalp, dragging his hand down to your shoulders every now and then. Your face is once again pressed against his hoodie, and he swears that he hears you inhale deeply into the fabric.
ââIâm here,ââ- he repeats, still rubbing your hair,- ââIâll stay here, hun.ââ
But you donât hear that last part. And as he leans his head back and look out the window, heâs not sure if that makes him relieved or disappointedÂ
SF!Papyrus: The worst thing about long car rides, were the fact that despite his impressive height, Papyrus was always assigned to sit in the backseat. And while sharing the backseat with you meant one good thing, he couldnât help but envy his shorter brother and the royal scientist as they sat in the front seat. Both quite a lot shorter than him.
And after hours of sitting hunched over, he could feel his spine grow stiffer. Heâd do anything to stretch right now, and feel his joints pop. He absentmindedly popped his fingers as a form of substitute. And averted his gaze from the spacious front seat, he turned it to look out the window. Only three more hours to go. Amazing, he thought.
To lighten his mood, he turned around again to look at you. And he watched you look out your window. The afternoon light made your features look sharper, but it also painted you in a soft, warm glow. Angelic, almost. But it didnât suit the picture of an angel the underground held. Their view of a savior had been tainted with their violence, their fight to survive. It had been a crueler being theyâd imagined back then. He still felt like you were a savior, though. If only to him, although he couldnât tell you that.
You seemed to notice him stare at you. But when you turned your body, he kept his eyes on you. There wasnât a lot else to look at, so he figured he could get away with it this time. And when your eyes met his, you smiled and leaned back in your seat. Keeping your gaze leveled, you smiled at him softly, looking even prettier than before. Until your face scrunched up and you yawned loudly, involuntarily bringing your hands up to your face and covering your mouth. The sudden yawn made him laugh, even when you sent him a dirty look, still covering your face as you tried to regain your composure. You really were too adorable.
ââYou should sleep, hun,-ââ he said. Voice quiet but still loud enough to reach you over the engine. ââWe still have a few hours left, no point in making it longer by beinâ stubborn.ââ
Another yawn escaped you, and it apparently convinced you to follow his suggestion. But instead of leaning your head on the window next to you, you put your legs on the seat and your head on his shoulder, wiggling around until you found a comfortable position, using the fluff on his hoodie as a makeshift pillow and smiling at your own handywork. He scoffed at you, but still pulled his arm out from where it had been stuck under your body, letting it rest across your stomach and holding you in place. A minute or two later, he felt his hand rise and fall as youâre breathing turned into a steadier pace. And he leaned his head back to get some rest, letting the rhythmic motion and humming of the engine lull him to sleep.
He woke up by yelling, and then felt his seatbelt tug on his ribcage as his body jerked forward. His arm reached out quickly, holding you back and safe before his eyes were fully opened. Sans was still screaming in the front seat, accompanied by violent gestures and quite a few death threats and profanities. Whatever happened, it must have jarred him. Listening to the chaos in the front seat he managed to gather that someone tried to push Sans out of the lane, aware of what they had been doing. And he felt a quiet rage that they had endangered your life in the process. Just because they didnât like monsters didnât mean they had to harm you too.
But you, amazing and weird thing that you was, didnât even seem phased. Instead you were laying across his lap, face on your arms and body pressing against him. He felt his breath hitch a little, letting you sleep on his shoulder had been one thing. But this was almost too much, and his soul both ached and fluttered at having you oh so close.
He willed his hand not to shake as he carefully touched a scrape on your arm, probably from his jacket as you fell. It wasnât deep, not even bleeding. But he hated that youâd gotten it anyway, especially as heâd been asleep and unable to hold you up when the car turned.
But when his hand made contact with your skin you squirmed around in his lap, pulling his hand closer and in your sleep, held it under your chin like you would a teddy bear. You murmured a few words, and he caught his name in the middle of them. And if he thought his soul had felt light before, it was practically soaring now.
He let you keep his hand there, and gently traced your face with his other. Until it ended up tangled in your head, massaging your scalp.
You obviously trusted him, otherwise you wouldnât sleep with your head in his lap. You wouldnât murmur his name like that. He played with the idea that maybe you liked him the way he found himself liking you. Maybe he could turn what you had into something more.
It was a nice thought. He held on to it for the rest of the ride.
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        âMore Fun Than a Puppy!â (Mickey Mouse Hand Puppets, 1949)Â
Although I was once a child, I donât have children of my own and I donât associate with anyone who does. [That sounds as if Iâm deliberately avoiding people with young children, which is not entirely true.] So I donât know what âkids todayâ do for recreation. Â Play video games? Â Watch DVDs and television? Â Go down to the old fishinâ hole with their pals? Â Stage scorpion vs. ant fights? Â I assume young children still play in groups, until they reach the age when they get a phone and start texting, says the grumpy old man (P.S.--get off my lawn). Â So I guess itâs vaguely possible that kids still put on puppet shows and other amateur theatricals for and with their peers.
Todayâs object of scrutiny is an advertisement for theâAmazing New Mickey Mouse Hand Puppets,â back in the day (1949) when children had to make their own fun, darn it. Â Television was in its commercial infancy, âfirstâ computer ENIAC had only recently been completed andâat 50 tonsâwas too large to be carried around in oneâs pocket to play Fruit Ninja, and child labour laws had stripped kids (in the USA at least) of the opportunity to put in 12-hour days in factories, so they had a lot of free time that needed to be consumed. Â Hey kids, letâs put on a show!
As has been mentioned before, the advertisements in comic books of the late 1940s and 1950s are not always appropriate for what one would perceive to be the intended audience of the publication. Â This advertisement, seemingly aimed at children, appeared in the December 1949 issue of Romantic Confessions, a comic book whose readership was probably largely female and almost certainly teen-aged and above. Â There are only 3 ads in the whole issue (the inside front and back covers, and the back cover): for the Mickey Mouse puppets, the âDornol treatmentâ for acne, and a photo enlargement service. Â On the other hand, perhaps the thinking was that adults (or older siblings) would purchase the puppets for children of the appropriate age to enjoy them.
[As an aside, Romantic Confessions was also where the âGiant Movie Cartoon Toyâ ad appeared, discussed here. Â Itâs interesting to note that in less than a year, Romantic Confessions went from 3 pages of ads to 10.]Â
There are many aspects of this advertisement worthy of comment. Itâs loaded with art and text, requiring a considerable investment of time and effort on the part of potential buyers. Â Youâve got to read a lot to learn about this product, but thatâs only fair when youâre being asked to spend $1.95 per puppet (equivalent in âbuying powerâ to $19.51 today). Thatâs alright, more content for us to snark on!
Letâs start with the art, shall we? Â There are two basic visual components of this ad, the products themselves, and a comic-strip narrative. Â The strip artwork appears to be by the same person who drew the famous âShoots Like a Real Gunâ ad, while the drawings of the puppet heads resemble those in another Rubber-for-Molds ad. In particular, the âIdiotâ puppet is identical to the âIdiotâ mask. Â (As noted in the earlier article, this character somewhat resembles Alfred E. Newman and/or George W. Bush.)
The puppets themselves donât look particularly interesting. Mickey Mouse is adequately represented, but Minnie has a glazed expression on her face. Thumper (from the film Bambi) is a grotesque cartoon rabbit, deliberately not resembling Bugs Bunny, while Donald Duck is not especially on-model (his head is too smooth, heâs missing his iconic cap, and his beak doesnât look right). Â And then thereâs âIdiot,â that famous Disney character...?
In case you were wondering, these puppets âare the same type used on television. Â Measuring almost 14 inches high, with a head the size of an orange...Extra thin, natural (not synthetic) rubber...hand painted in lifelike* colors.â Â
*[In another part of the ad, the puppets are referred to as âflesh-coloredââI suppose that means mouseÂ-flesh, duck-flesh, and rabbitÂ-flesh, in addition to Idiotâs human-flesh?]
The comic strip narrative tells the story of Jimmyâs journey from social outcast to the envy of his peers in only three panels. Â Jimmy reads an ad (just like this one) in a comic book (just like this oneâspooky!) and learns he can âget puppets that really move!â Â Not like those puppets that...donât move? Â Those are called âdolls,â Jimmy. Â His little sister Babushka approves.
Some time later, âJimmyâs Puppet Showâ is a sensation, despite the outrageous ticket price of two cents. Â Letâs see, he spent $3.90 on the two puppets we see, plus something for the sign, so he needs to sell approximately 200 tickets to turn a profit. Â Good luck kid! But it seems heâs on to somethingâor the children in the audience are truly starved for entertainmentâbecause there is âapplauseâ for his puppet show which is âbetter than a movie!â (but is it better than...a Disney cartoon?) Â We donât get much detail about the content of the show, although in the scene depicted, Minnie appears to be demurely waiting for Mickey to kiss her, which he seems to be enthusiastically about to do.
âAfter the Show,â Jimmy is beseiged by admirers, one of whom offers to buy the Mickey puppet, claiming (rather obscurely) âItâs more fun than a puppy!â Â Jimmy refuses to sell, realising that âthe puppets have made Jimmy the most popular kid on the block,â and once he no longer has his puppets, heâll return to his previous grim and friendless existence, hated and shunned by all.
There are also two pieces of artwork for those unclear on the concept of what a âpuppetâ is: you âslip them on like a glove and wiggle your fingers...Slip puppet over hand. Â Move fingers. Â He obeys every command...Come to Life When You Move Your Fingers.â Â OK, I think Iâve got it. Â Put hand inside puppet, move fingers. Â Is that right? Â I donât want to miss a step even though you claim itâs âEasy as A-B-C.â Â To be fair, itâs possible the copywriter wanted to distinguish these hand puppets from marionettes, and in fact the text emphasizes âNo strings, nothing to break, wind or get out of order.â
The ad text reinforces the 3 basic themes introduced in the art: (a) these things are amazing; (b) they are easy to use; ( c ) they will change your life for the better.
How amazing are they? Â âThey laugh, cry and move like real!â Yeah, no they donât. Â These âTelevision Type Puppetsâ** can ââTalkâ, Laugh, Practically Liveâ (notice âtalkâ is in quotes even in the ad copy). Â âHe laughs, moves, almost becomes alive at the slightest wiggle of your fingers.â Â âLooks and acts so alive itâs uncanny.â Â In fact, we advise you to securely lock up these puppets at night, to avoid...accidents, if you know what I mean. Â Havenât you ever seen those horror movies? Â âCompletely safe,â the ad reads. Â Hmm...why did they feel compelled to say that?
**[Perhaps the most famous TV puppets were the Muppets (and the Sesame Street gang), Shari Lewisâs Lamb Chop, Howdy Doody, et al., but puppets were ubiquitous on televisionâlocal and network--from its earliest days. Â Early television programs utilised puppets because they were cheap and simple entertainment: the âcostumes,â sets, and so on were miniature, multiple âcharactersâ could be interpreted by one or two people, and these factors allowed shows to create a fictional world (or bring fictional characters into the ârealâ world) for much less than live-action or animation.]
Alright, I agree these puppets are pretty amazing. Â But arenât they difficult to operate? Â I didnât major in theatre arts at university, after all. Â Actually, âitâs easy to put on a puppet show in your home!â Â âJust by moving your fingers, he will smile, laugh, cry, hide his head, put fingers in mouth, etc...Slips on and off hand in a jiffy. Even a child can work instantly. No experience necessary.â Â âOver 1000 Different Movements!â Â (Sorry, complete list of movements not available.) For those who are still insecure about their abilities, purchasers also receive âsecret revealing pamphlets on âHow to Become a Ventriloquistâ and âHow to Put on a Puppet Show.ââ Â If there ever was something that deserved to be called âidiot-proof,â this product is it!
But wait, didnât you mention something about these puppets changing my life? Â Why yes I did, very observant of you. Â If you put on puppet shows, youâll âCause a Sensation at the Next Party...Your Friends Will Scream with Delight and Amazement!â Â [Unlike the last party, where you demonstrated how to slaughter & disembowel a hog. Your friends screamed all right, but probably not in Delight and Amazement.] Â Youâll be âthe most popular kid on the block,â if you donât count Jonathan, Jordan, Joey, Donnie or Danny.
And donât think your options are limited to backyard puppet shows only!  These puppets are âIdeal for shows or to carry in pocket or purse.â  Stuck in traffic? Waiting for a doctorâs appointment?  Killing time in a holding cell until your bail bondsman shows up?  Stuck with a  boring blind date?  Whip out your puppet and play with it!  âPays for itself in fun and laughs first time used.â
Donât think a hand puppet can make your life better? Â Just watch Mel Gibson in The Beaver (2011). Â I never saw the end, but I assume it worked out well for him. (hint: it sort of didnât)Â
Thanks Rubber-for-Molds! Â I didnât want that puppy anyway!
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