#I also just love to hear new music so curious what people say

[aggroindustrial]

silent circus

summary. natalie never expected anything kind from the world—not respect, not love. but someone’s been leaving her flowers. one summer evening, near the edge of the woods, she meets the girl who’s been leaving them.

pairing. natalie scatorccio x fem!reader

word count. 6.3k

warnings. implied past trauma, body dysmorphia (nat struggles with her appearance a lot), constant emotional distress, werewolf!nat kinda, overwhelming amount of timeskips (again), angst with a happy (open) ending??

fic note. not very confident about this one but okayyyy i have many things to say. first of all, this is set in the late 50s-early 60s bc i don't think freak shows are still legal (and also because this was inspired by my monthly rewatch of ahs freak show hehe) but it barely affects the story in any way. still i thought it was worth mentioning.

i finished writing this like five days ago but i have a fever and i barely finished editing it like an hour ago sooo there might be some mistakes

writing shauna's pov was also in my plans but i'm not sure if the story's good enough to continue it. lmk if you guys want shauna's story anyway<3 please enjoy<3333

+18. minors do not interact.

The soft, humid wind dragged the tent flaps across the dirt, making a sound similar to a groan from a pair of tired lungs. Evening had settled in—thick and hot, like any other summer night.

The colorful circus lights strung above flickered defiantly against the approaching dark.

Outside, people gathered in line. Dust-covered boots and hushed gossip mingled in the air—farmers who reeked of tobacco, eager children with sticky fingers eating half-melted cotton candy, curious socialites in search of some new form of entertainment, since their opulence stopped being exciting long ago.

They all came for the grotesque. To peer into a glass tank of misery, see something morbid, and remind themselves how lucky they were to be normal.

Inside, Natalie sat in her cage, silent.

The cold iron bars were bolted into the floorboards of the warped stage. Around the cage, velvet curtains hung limp and faded, rustling with the warm breeze. Her fingers—if they could still be called that—dug into the straw-covered ground. Claws now. Sharp and curved. Unnatural and wrong. Like the pointed ears that twitched atop her head.

When she wasn’t performing, she wore gloves and a beret to hide what she had become. To preserve some shred of human dignity.

Mr. Mars, the ringmaster, paced outside the curtain. Natalie could hear the squeaky sound of his leather boots above the loud carny music. Could smell the buttery scent of popcorn in the air, mixed with the cheap and sour cologne he always drowned himself in.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” He began, voice slick and theatrical. “I present to you two creatures—born of women, raised by rabid wolves—or so the whispers say!”

Natalie rolled her eyes, already bracing herself for the scared and disgusted stares and the blinding lights.

“The very spirit of the wilderness made flesh!”

That line always made her skin crawl.

The curtain was pulled back. The stage lights flared, and Natalie flinched instinctively. Her lips parted in a subtle snarl, revealing sharp teeth that glinted under the spotlight.

Loud gasps erupted from the crowd. Always the same reaction.

“Do they bite?” A child shouted.

Natalie didn't growl at the question. She just stared at the crowd. Her eyes, an unusual shade of gold, scanned the view. Not for mercy, or an answer. She'd stopped looking for those things long ago.

Across the stage, in a matching cage, was Shauna. Her sister—not by blood, but trauma bonded after suffering the same fate—was doing all the opposite.

Shauna growled, clawed, snarled. The spotlight painted her wild and furious, hair glowing like fire as she rattled the bars of her cage.

Natalie understood the rage. Shauna carried it like a torch—lit by the time they lost and slipped through their fingers like sand, by the years of hiding, running, surviving. An endless cycle of bouncing from town to town, fleeing from the authorities and men in white coats with scalpels and theories.

But Natalie had let her anger quiet into resignation and grief. Grief didn’t snarl. It just sat there and looked back at you.

“Their bite is said to carry the disease!” The ringmaster said dramatically. “A small nibble from them, and you too may become like them!”

Gasps again, tinged with fear.

It was all bullshit. They didn't carry any disease in their blood, and they definitely had not been raised by wolves. The only truth was that both of them had been attacked by some creature when they were barely kids, playing hide and seek in the woods.

Natalie has never been a stranger to rejection. Some kids during second grade picked on her for being surprisingly good at math without even trying.

But after the attack, she was met with a new, harsher type of rejection—from her own family.

No one could understand how it happened. All her parents knew was that Natalie came back home that day, clothes drenched in blood, with bite marks and scratches all over her body. Then, the next morning, she was healed up like nothing had happened.

It was until the first full moon that she began growing fangs, claws, and fuzzy ears.

Her parents barely even looked at her after that night. And when they did, their lips twisted into a frown of disgust. Natalie learned Shauna was experiencing exactly the same—from the physical changes to the rejection from her loved ones.

They ran away together as soon as they turned sixteen and were on the run for three years until they heard of the local circus in a small town looking for new performers. It was the only place willing to hire them and give them a home, and it paid enough to eat.

Natalie was jolted from her thoughts by a piece of raw meat being thrown against the bars of her cage.

She didn’t even have to look. She knew the act by heart.

She glanced sideways to look at Shauna, who angrily grabbed the meat and threw it back at Mr. Mars. Bared teeth, ears flat against her head and pupils blown with fury.

Last time Shauna refused to carry on with the act, he docked her pay for a month. Natalie had shared her own food with her just so she wouldn’t starve.

One of them had to cooperate. To keep them both fed. Clearly, it wouldn't be Shauna.

So Natalie swallowed her pride and grabbed the meat, bringing it to her lips and tearing into it with her sharp teeth. Blood trickled down her chin, and the crowd gasped in delighted horror—even louder this time.

It was the show they paid for.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“Give me your hands.” Natalie mumbled.

They were in their shared tent, the show long over. A first-aid kit sat between them.

It became their routine. After every show, they'd sit down until Shauna's anger cooled down, Natalie would clean her bruised knuckles and the dried blood under her claws to bandage her hands up, and then they drank until the memories and thoughts blurred.

Shauna, as usual, complied in silence, wincing slightly when Natalie ran a wet cloth over her raw, red knuckles.

“You said you'd stop doing that.” She muttered, cleaning the blood away. “We're not here by choice, Shauna. Remember that. What will you do if Mr. Mars decides to kick you out? What will we do?”

Shauna’s eyes sparked with indignation. “You still don’t get it. We don’t need this place. We don’t need them. We could easily live off the land. You’re always letting them humiliate you like some obedient pet!”

Natalie's jaw locked and she exhaled deeply. “And what would we do without a roof to live under? Who would take us in? You think anyone out there wants freaks like us—”

“We're not freaks.” Shauna snapped, cutting Natalie off with a small scoff. “You patch me up out of habit, but you and I both know my hands will heal on their own in a few hours. We're better than any of them.” She shook her head. “You ever heard of a god begging for scraps, Natalie? No. They take what they want.”

Shauna tore the bandages off and stood. “You would see it that way if you didn't give up so easily and resign to this shitty life we live.”

The words cut deep, sharp with the truth Natalie didn't want to face.

Her eyes followed Shauna as she grabbed a jacket. “Where are you going?” Natalie blinked in confusion.

“The bar in town.” Shauna shrugged, slipping the jacket on.

“At least wear gloves and a hat. They'll tell you to leave when they see what you are.”

Shauna paused at the door, glancing at Natalie over her shoulder. She scoffed in disbelief, and left without another word.

Natalie was left behind with all of her conflicting thoughts.

We're monsters. Sideshow attractions. Nothing more.

Her gaze lifted and she realized she was standing in front of Shauna's full body mirror. The mirror showed a girl that was half-beast, half-ghost. Not of the dead, but of a girl who should’ve had a future.

She turned away, claws digging into her palms painfully.

Sometimes, she wondered if fading away would be easier—to just let the dirt swallow her whole until she dissolves and let the carnival lights forget her name.

“Nat!” A voice called.

She looked up. One of the contortionists from the crew stood by the tent’s entrance.

“Yeah?” She cleared her throat and hoped her eyes weren't wet with tears.

“Someone left this for you earlier. I completely forgot to give it to you. Sorry!” He handed her a flower with vibrant pink petals and a white center, along with a piece of paper.

Natalie stared at the flower, confused. She'd never seen a flower like it before.

Protea, or Sugarbush. Unconventional beauty, often misunderstood, but still breathtaking. Named after the Greek god Proteus. Symbolizes courage and diversity.

I see your uniqueness. I admire your strength, Natalie.

She read the words once. Twice. Her fingers toyed with the stem of the flower, as if she was waiting for the joke to reveal itself.

It never did.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

A week had passed since then, and it was show night again.

The pink flower was slowly withering in the vase Natalie had bought just for it, perched delicately on the nightstand beside her bed.

“What’s that? It looks like a cactus.” Shauna said when she came back from the bar after midnight.

To Natalie, it had become one of her most prized possessions—fragile, fading, but still precious. The first gift she’d received since becoming a monster.

By sheer luck, neither she nor Shauna were scheduled to perform that Friday. A new act had joined the circus—some magician, probably a fraud—but his arrival meant they were free for the night.

Shauna had disappeared hours before the show began. She didn’t say much, never did, but Natalie had a feeling she was seeing someone. The thought made her both curious and a little envious. How did Shauna find the courage to be close to someone while being like this—half-beast, half-human?

But Natalie’s mind kept circling back to the flower and the letter.

Who could've left that behind?

She thought about it day and night. Not a single person came to mind—it couldn't be someone from her fellow performers. She knew them all too well. So it must've been someone from the crowd.

But who?

They always looked at her like she was the most disgusting and scariest creature in the entire universe.

Still, driven by curiosity, Natalie stayed behind that night instead of slipping out into the town like Shauna had.

From the sidelines, she watched as Mr. Mars introduced the magician with his usual carnival flair. Her golden eyes scanned the crowd—people laughing, murmuring, eating popcorn. Not one of them looked like the kind of person who would give a flower to a monster.

She spent the full two hours watching every single person in the crowd, hoping to catch something, anything that could give her a clue of who was behind the mysterious gift.

Eventually, the crowd began thinning out and the crew was already tearing down the decorations. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, frustrated that she'd have to wait for next week to try again.

She rubbed her face, claws grazing her skin that was still flushed with shame. Maybe it had been a fluke. Some cruel prank. Or worse—an accident that she’d mistaken for something meaningful.

But just as she turned to leave, her eyes caught a flicker of pink resting on a seat in the opposite row.

Another flower, resting on top of a letter.

Her heart sped up and she moved fast—a lot faster than she meant. It was the same type of flower as before, but this one had a pink center that bled beautifully into its petals.

Her shaky hands unfolded the paper, written in the same hand, cursive and elegant:

You don't need the spotlight to be seen.

Her fingers clutched the note like it would disappear if she so much as blinked. Who was this person? What was the intention behind it all—pity, fascination, something cruel disguised as kindness? Or was it possibly something real?

Her fingers curled tightly around the paper, holding it like it might vanish if she blinked. The words were simple, but they clung to her like perfume.

She turned swiftly, scanning every face moving around her, through the shadows and strings of bright carnival lights. None of them looked back with knowing eyes.

Still clutching the flower, Natalie wandered the grounds. Her mind raced as she hoped to find the stranger who haunted her thoughts from morning to night and quietly took up residence in her mind.

From the corner of her eye, she could see the worried gazes from the men she passed by, but she couldn't care any less about that.

“Did ya watch the last episode of The Burns and Allen Show? It was Gracie's last act before retiring.” A man in a suit spoke to a small group of similar looking men. Dull, empty conversation. No warmth behind the words. Not them.

Then her ears twitched—catching a different conversation. Laughter. Laced with something sharp. A group of women smoking right by the popcorn cart.

“…I told you, she’s been sneaking out again. You’d think the mayor would keep his daughter on a tighter leash.”

“Poor thing. She’s always been a bit.. rebellious, hasn’t she?”

Natalie barely heard the rest. She didn’t care about rich girls with too much time and not enough sense.

Her feet dragged her back to her tent, trying not to feel too disappointed—at least, now she was sure that it hadn't been a prank and someone left those gifts behind with a purpose that she wanted to understand.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Back in the tent, Natalie set the second protea beside the first. The old one had begun to wilt, its once-vibrant petals curling at the edges. She stared at them both, unsure which one looked more like her.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Natalie started talking to the flowers when no one else was around.

Not full-on conversations or something that would make people think she's gone mad. Just the occasional murmur, like: “I wonder who keeps leaving these behind.”

She also began writing back—letters she'd never send. Not just because she didn’t know who was leaving the gifts, but because the thought of letting someone inside of the walls she’d so carefully put up over the years terrified her. So she hid them all beneath her mattress, where no one would ever find them.

But doubts started creeping in, clawing at her resolve as she started imagining the worst.

What if it’s a joke? What if it's someone mocking me? What if it’s actually one of the performers and they're doing it for a quick laugh? What if none of it is real?

Natalie didn’t show the letters to Shauna. Partly out of fear, but also because the mystery had become something sacred. Something that was hers, and hers alone.

“She’d ruin it,” Natalie whispered to the flowers. The newest one stood tall and radiant, while the older one had wilted into a bunch of dry petals. “She ruins everything delicate. I can’t tell her. Not yet.”

Her chin rested in her palm as she stared at the vase, wondering how just a couple of flowers and some carefully chosen words had managed to change her life overnight.

Then, the flaps of the tent opened, and Shauna walked in with her hands stuffed into her pockets.

“Hey.” She mumbled, and one of her eyebrows arched when she noticed Natalie's distant stare. “…Okay?”

Natalie didn’t answer. She didn’t look away from the flowers.

With a small huff, Shauna walked over and tapped her shoulder. “Mr. Mars wants to see you.” Natalie finally turned to her, a frown creasing her brow. “Apparently, the mayor came to visit. Mr. Mars told me he requested to see you, so you probably shouldn't keep him waiting. They're in his tent.”

Natalie blinked, caught off guard. “Shit…”

She tried to remember anything that she might've done to upset the mayor in any way, but nothing came to mind. She’d barely even stepped off the carnival grounds. “Do you know what he wants?”

“Dunno.” Shauna shrugged before flopping down on the couch. “Have you been giving him trouble?” A teasing smirk grew on her lips, but Natalie only rolled her eyes.

Instead of answering, she sighed heavily and grabbed her beret and put it on to hide her ears, along with a pair of gloves for her claws.

She left their shared tent and tried to ignore how her hands were already becoming clammy.

Natalie stepped into Mr. Mars’ tent, and the air shifted immediately—thicker, quieter. The heavy canvas muffled the sounds of the carnival outside, turning laughter and music into distant murmurs, like memories underwater. The scent hit her first: cigar smoke, the rich smell of ripe plums, and the sickly-sweet perfume Mr. Mars favored, clinging to every piece of velvet in the room like a ghost that refused to leave.

“Shauna mentioned you wanted to see me, sir?”

The shadows inside moved like thick oil across the ground, cast by an elegant low hanging chandelier that swayed gently. The light caught on the golden buttons of Mr. Mars’ coat, his posture straighter than usual as he stood beside the mayor—smiling that stiff, polished grin he reserved for men with power.

“Natalie, there you are.” He said, gesturing her closer while his fingers fiddled mindlessly with his old carved pipe. “Our esteemed mayor and his daughter requested to meet one of our most unforgettable performers.”

Then she saw you.

You stood next to the mayor, hands clasped delicately in front of you. Your dress was a soft powder-blue with a lace collar and matching lace cuffs around your wrists. It looked like it came straight from one of those expensive department store mannequins in town.

You didn't belong there.

You looked like porcelain—pristine, untouchable. Something meant to be admired from a distance.

Your hair was pinned up, held by a silver clip shaped like a lotus, shimmering under the chandelier like it was moonlight trapped in metal. It looked like it was worth more money than Natalie had ever seen in her life.

But it was your eyes that caught Natalie off guard and made her pulse flutter—not because they were pretty, though they were—but because they weren't glancing around the tent with disinterest hidden behind a polite front like your father's. They were focused on Natalie from the very first moment she stepped inside the tent.

It was a bit unsettling. Natalie felt like she was being scrutinized under your stare. Or perhaps it was that you were really looking at her—like you were seeing beyond her physical appearance.

She dipped her head politely, even if she didn't really care much about his presence. “It's an honor, sir.”

The mayor turned to look at her. His lips pressed into a thin line—not a frown, but not entirely welcome, either. It was the same look she received from townspeople when they thought they were being polite, like they were forcing themselves not to stare. “No need for such formality, young lady. My daughter's been quite taken with your act. She's always had an eye for… rare things.”

His choice of words made Natalie's stomach tighten, but she refrained from saying anything.

You took a step forward. “You were in the final act two weeks ago, right? The one with the cages.” Your voice was light and soft, but the small smile on your lips looked like you were hiding some sort of secret.

Natalie’s lips parted, but her throat felt dry. “Yes.”

Your smile grew, already knowing the answer. Of course you did. You'd been sneaking out every Friday to watch her.

Natalie didn’t know what to say next. She wasn’t sure whether to run or do something else. The gloves on her hands felt more suffocating than ever.

“She says she's a fan of your stage presence.” Mr. Mars said, his tone seemingly friendly, though his eyes flitted too quickly between the mayor and Natalie.

“Maybe.” You replied, still watching Natalie, “I just admire uniqueness, and people who know how to stand in their own skin.”

That was when Natalie’s heart really stopped. The phrasing—it was too specific. Too familiar.

Was it a coincidence? It had to be. Unless…

She caught herself clutching her hands tightly behind her back, leather creaking under her grip.

The mayor gave a firm nod. “We won’t take more of your time, Mr. Mars. Just wanted to meet the talent. Sweetheart—let’s go.”

The words still rang like a bell inside Natalie’s skull.

“Actually,” You interrupted him. “I'd like a moment alone with her, if that's alright?”

He clenched his jaw—probably used to you always getting your way—and nodded with a heavy sigh. “You have two minutes. Don't wander.” His gaze flickered to Natalie, a warning look in his eyes which made a shiver travel down her spine.

You simply smiled again and walked out first, knowing Natalie would follow.

When you were outside of the tent, you glanced at Natalie curiously, observing and studying her.

“Why do you wear that?” Natalie turned to look at you, realizing your gaze was focused on the beret on her head.

“I do not mean to be disrespectful, but I think the reason is pretty obvious.” She answered, trying to keep herself composed and cool.

“I don't think you need to wear it.” You hummed and stopped walking to face her directly. Your hands reached up to take the hat off, revealing her ears, which instinctively flattened. “You don't have to hide who you are. You are beautiful, Natalie.”

Natalie didn't breathe for a second—she couldn't.

“Is this a joke?” She couldn't help but blurt out. “Are you… making fun of me?”

Your eyes widened slightly, taken aback by the question. “No.” You said, so softly that it barely sounded like a defense at all. Just honesty. “I would never do that.”

The tone of your voice, so calm, but not rehearsed. Genuine. And for some reason, that made it worse. Natalie had spent her whole life learning to identify lies, and now she wasn't sure if what she heard was the truth, or just the best trick she'd ever seen.

“Then what is this?” She asked, her voice cracking. “Why are you talking like you know me? Why—why did you leave those flowers? Those letters?”

Something passed across your expression for a second—guilt, perhaps. Or fear.

You glanced over your shoulder, back at the tent, and when you looked back at Natalie, you hesitated just for a second.

“Because I've seen you. Not just on stage. I've been coming back every week, and…” Your voice trailed off, like you weren't even sure yourself of the reason behind your visits.

Natalie swallowed hard. Her hands trembled under the gloves, and she tucked them behind her back again.

“I don’t want anything from you.” You added, as if reading her mind. “I just thought… you should know someone out there sees more than what they’re told to look at.”

Natalie stared at you. Her heart was pounding in her throat, and all she could think of were those letters, and the way her stomach dropped when she found the second flower. You don’t need the spotlight to be seen.

Her voice was tight when she finally spoke. “You could’ve just talked to me before or after the shows. Instead of—whatever this is.”

“I didn’t know how.” You stepped a little closer. Not too much, but just enough. Your perfume—something clean and floral, obviously expensive—caught Natalie's attention. “People don’t usually get close to me unless they want something. I guess I thought you might feel the same.”

The words hit her like a freight train. Natalie didn’t answer right away.

She was still trying to believe this was real.

After a moment, you looked down at the beret still in your hands.

“I didn't want you to think that I only wanted to meet you out of morbid fascination, like all the people who come to watch the show.” You handed her hat back, and shrugged. “I don't see you as any different. I just see you, and I wanted you to know that.”

You hesitated again, and mumbled gently, “Would it be alright if I came by again?”

Natalie’s mouth opened, but no words came out. She didn't know the answer herself. Instead, she looked down at the gloves on her hands. The heat of shame and hope burned her cheeks.

“You should go. Your dad’s probably waiting.”

It's not the answer Natalie wanted to give, but at least it was the safer option. The thought of letting herself be vulnerable in front of a stranger seemed scarier than anything else.

Your lips curled into a small, almost disappointed smile, and you nodded. “I do not blame you for not trusting me. But I meant everything I said. My intentions are not malicious at all.”

With another smile, filled with more warmth than the last one, you began walking back to the tent, where your father was. “Your ears look cute.”

The comment had Natalie feeling like she'd been punched in the gut. The urge to reach out and stop you from leaving was strong, but she didn't.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Natalie found another flower waiting in her tent. Beneath it was a folded slip of paper, delicate strokes of ink pressed deep into it:

If you are willing to come, I’ll be near the big oak by the edge of the field after dusk tomorrow.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Shauna was lounging on the couch, reading the comic strips in the newspaper, occasionally laughing. “Check this out. Snoopy looks adorable—” She glanced up, ready to show Natalie. However, she rolled her eyes when she realized Natalie was pacing in circles nervously, digging her claws into her sleeves while she muttered something under her breath.

“For the love of God.” She groaned and set the newspaper down, finally pushing to her feet to grab Natalie's arm. “You’re going to end up in China if you keep that up. What’s got you so twitchy this time? You haven’t been this anxious since our first day here.”

“Sorry, I just….” Her voice came out sharper than she meant, and she immediately looked away, jaw clenched. “It’s nothing. Just something on my mind.”

Shauna raised her eyebrows, unimpressed. “What? Someone say something to you?”

Natalie didn’t answer right away, and Shauna groaned again. “Are we going to play twenty questions, or are you actually going to tell me?”

Finally, she stopped pacing. Her fingers twitched, claws tapping against her sleeves. For a second, Natalie looked like was seconds away from passing out or throwing up.

“I've been receiving letters. And flowers. For a while now.” Natalie admitted. “The ones you said looked like cactuses.”

Shauna blinked slowly. “From who?”

“At first, I didn’t know.” Natalie said quickly. “They were just left behind. No name, nothing. I thought it was all a prank, or some sick joke. But it doesn't feel like that anymore.”

“Oh, really?” Shauna sank down into the couch again and leaned forward, elbows on her knees. “Then who’s the secret admirer? One of the bearded twins? Joe from the snack stand?”

Natalie’s voice dropped to a whisper—just in case anyone was listening. “It’s the mayor’s daughter.”

Silence.

Shauna stared at her. Blinked again. Then, she let out a short, incredulous laugh. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not.”

Shauna's head tilted slightly, thinking she'd misheard. Then she laughed once more—a short, humorless sound. “Wait. Seriously? That tight-laced porcelain doll who came by yesterday?” Her eyebrows lifted. “The one who looks like she came straight out of one of those Weldon's Dressmaking magazines?”

Natalie frowned at Shauna's description of you, but nodded, anyway.

Shauna leaned back slowly, like trying to make sense of a puzzle with half the pieces missing. “And you believe her?”

“I don’t know.” She muttered, her voice cracking around the edges. “But when she looked at me, it was different from the way people usually do. It wasn't fear or pity. It was like she saw something that’s not—”

She broke off, unable to finish.

Shauna was quiet again, studying her. “You think she sees you.”

Natalie nodded once more, but didn’t reply. She just sat down beside Shauna, silently wrapping her arms around herself. “She wants to meet later, after dusk.”

Neither of them spoke for a moment, until Shauna added, her voice rough, but sincere: “If she hurts you, I’ll gut her with my bare hands—or claws. Fancy dress and all.”

Natalie let out a breath she didn't know she’d been holding. A small, crooked smile tugged at her mouth. “Thanks.”

Shauna rolled her eyes again, but the edge had softened. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get sappy on me.” She nudged Natalie’s shoulder, not quite gentle, not quite rough. “Come on. We have to practice for later.”

Natalie stood, but paused. “Wait. Can we go to the farmers market in town first? I want to buy something.”

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Later that day, the sun looked like it was on the verge of its death, bleeding shades of pink and gold as it surrendered to the moon slowly.

The crowd was thinner than usual, the summer heat driving most people indoors. The scent of popcorn, roasted peanuts, and sawdust hung thick in the air. Natalie had just finished her act, and her muscles were still trembling slightly from the adrenaline.

She moved through the maze of tents and stalls, counting each colorful light bulb she passed to steady her breath and calm her raging heart.

Natalie wasn't sure what to expect. She didn't even know what she was hoping for. All she knew was that her chest felt like it was bracing for impact, even as she told herself not to get her hopes up too much.

She reached for her beret out of habit, but then remembered she'd chosen not to wear it, for once. Her other hand gripped the stem of a single sunflower between her fingers, trying not to crush it by accident.

And from afar, she saw you.

You stood by the oak tree, near the edge of the clearing where a small creek began, and the trees began to swallow the dirt. Your dress was simpler this time—soft pink cotton, with small embroidered forget-me-nots on the hem—and your hair was flowing gently in the wind.

You looked like you’d stepped out of a storybook.

Natalie nearly turned around and ran, anxiety spiking up and betraying her.

But then you looked up and your eyes found hers—immediately, without searching. Like you knew she would come.

And she did.

Natalie walked slowly, her gloves shoved into her pocket, in case you felt uncomfortable with her claws. She stopped a few feet away. That same floral perfume—soft and sweet—drifted between you, anchoring her to the moment.

“You came.” You smiled, and there was relief in your voice.

“I’m here.” Natalie answered, still unsure about it all. “I got this for you.” She licked her lips nervously and glanced down shyly, offering you the sunflower. “I know it's already starting to wilt, but it was the only one the florist would sell me, and…”

You accepted the sunflower, a wide grin on your lips. Hell, she could've handed you a bunch of dead petals and stems, and you would've looked at them the same way.

“It's perfect. Don't worry.” Natalie looked up at you, eyes wide with shock. Her throat tightened, and she nodded.

A moment of silence passed, until she spoke.

“I don't know what it is that you want from me.”

You hesitated, your gaze dropping to the sunflower in your hands. “I don’t want anything.” You said. “Not really. I just… I keep thinking about the way you looked the first time I saw you. Not during your act. Before it. When you were just… existing. Like you were trying so hard to take up as little space as possible.”

Natalie just blinked at your words.

“I won't lie and say I know what that feels like.” You admitted with a small shrug. “But, my entire life, I've been surrounded by people who only care how things look, about appearances. And then, there was you—raw and real, and not trying to be anything for anyone. Just… you.”

She didn’t speak when you stepped forward, careful not to make her uncomfortable.

“And I thought that if I wrote something for you, maybe you’d see that I was serious. That I wasn't just another pair of eyes in the crowd, staring and judging.”

Natalie swallowed. “It didn’t feel real. I thought someone was playing a joke.”

“I figured you might.” You gave a faint, sad smile. “But every single word came from my very heart.”

She finally looked at you, uncertain—but wanting to believe.

The silence stretched, and then she asked—quietly, but without accusation. “Why me?”

You looked at her like that was the easiest question in the world.

"Because you’re beautiful.” You hesitated for a second, and then clarified. “Not just physically. It's the way you carry all that pain and still get up there and perform. Like the world has tried to break you several times, but you keep getting up.”

Natalie looked away, blinking fast. Her voice was tight, like she was holding back tears. “You make it sound poetic. It’s not. It’s survival.”

“I know.” You nodded. “That’s what makes it beautiful.”

The silence that followed wasn’t heavy or awkward. Just full. Like something important had been handed over, delicate and intimate. Sweet, pure feelings of longing.

Natalie finally took a shaky breath. “I don’t know if I can give you anything back.”

“I didn’t ask for anything.” You replied softly.

A gentle breeze stirred the trees, lifting the hem of your dress slightly. You stepped back, just enough to give her space.

“It makes me happy that you are here tonight.” You said. “I don't want you to think that I'm only being nice because I expect something back from you.”

You held out your hand.

Natalie hesitated. She stared at it, and then down at her own hand—claws instead of nails. How could you even want to touch something like that? That was just unimaginable. Someone like you, wanting to—

She began to spiral, so you didn't wait any longer and grabbed her hand, fingers slipping through hers with ease, with warmth.

Her heart stuttered. A strange warmth began blooming in her chest that she didn’t dare name yet, but knew exactly what it was.

She let you guide her further into the trees, her body tense at first—until she saw the blanket on the ground, a basket and flickering candles on top of it. Slowly, the knot in her chest loosened.

“Sit.” You smiled, easing down yourself. “I didn't know what you like, so I brought some cookies. I made them.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, Natalie felt normal. No harsh stares, no backhanded compliments. No need to explain her own existence.

“If I'm honest, I didn't think my father would actually bring me yesterday.” You confessed, hugging your knees to your chest as you leaned against a tree. “He doesn't… really get it. He thinks it's stupid, that I was interested in meeting someone from the carnival.”

Natalie didn’t flinch. It wasn’t anything new to her.

“But I insisted.” A small smile tugged on your lips. “After pestering him for hours, he finally accepted. Complained the whole way, but it doesn't really matter. I got to meet you.”

Your hand rested on the blanket, fingers barely brushing hers.

Natalie stiffened instantly, and felt the need to pull her hand away and put on her gloves to cover up her claws.

But she didn't.

Not anymore, she told herself. This is my chance to be liked, to be seen.

To be loved?

It was very soon to tell. But Natalie knew that, now that she'd finally met you, it would be incredibly hard to imagine a world without you.

You turned toward her, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”

The words hung between you, heavier than anything Natalie had ever heard. There was no demand in your voice—only a quiet and delicate honesty that made her breath catch in her throat.

Natalie didn't respond right away. Her gaze drifted to the space between you, where your hand rested on the blanket, fingers still grazing hers.

I can still pull away. There's still time to run and hide.

She didn’t.

Instead, Natalie slowly uncurled her fingers and—tentatively, as if any sudden moves might shatter the moment—she linked her pinky with yours.

It wasn't a big gesture. It wasn't a kiss, or a confession. Just a part of her reaching out to allow herself a moment of closeness. Like two wires making the slightest contact, but still creating a spark.

Natalie kept her eyes down, unable to look at you yet.

“It’s not easy for me.” She muttered, voice rough with effort. “Letting someone see me like this.”

“I know.” You said, and squeezed her pinky, just once, so gently she almost didn’t feel it. “I don’t want to rush you into anything. I just… want to be here.”

And she believed you.

For the first time in longer than she could remember, someone didn’t flinch at what she was. You just saw her. Wanted her—here and now.

The sun was long gone, and the trees around you whispered with the wind and the buzzing of cicadas. Somewhere in the distance, the faint music from the carousel still played—slow and dreamy.

Natalie closed her eyes and allowed the moment to wrap around her like a warm blanket in the middle of winter.

She didn’t say anything else. She didn’t need to.

Her hand stayed in yours.

And that was enough.

[owmylasagna-blog]

What songs, albums, or artists remind you of eene?

Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of late ‘90s- early ‘00s alt rock / power pop that fits nicely into the Eds vibe.

Most of CAKE is big eene sound waves to me, Comfort Eagle as an album especially. The use of jazzy brass instruments screams of Patric Caird’s score and the lyrics and storytelling are really playful. The song of the same title makes me wish there was a fake religion scam episode (literally would never happen). Or someone would make a reboot where as adults Eddy becomes a cult leader and Edd and Ed do damage control. Love You Madly is a fav and of course an eddeddy song to me because I have it so bad for the stupid ship.

Fountains of Wayne reign high as a band that distill some stupid essence of suburban life - I say affectionately. More specifically growing up in a NJ suburb both near and somehow too far from the city. Each song is like a mini episode following various characters and recalling places and events that feel both highly specific and weirdly relatable, which I think has been my experience watching eene. Again, whether it’s their eponymous debut album or their most well known Welcome Interstate Managers (thanks Stacy’s mom) there are plenty of punchy jokey lyrics mixed in with achey nostalgia.

Anyway that’s all I got from rubbing my two brain cells together for now. There are others but I’m leepy gn

[harrington-stevie]

back to you | E.M.

Summary: You were supposed to go with Eddie to Robin's wedding, but he broke up with you months before. You mock him every chance you get, but he's grown annoyed over it.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, SMUT (18+ MDNI), unprotected sex (p in v), slight choking, aftercare; Exes to lovers;

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Note: Eddie has shorter hair (ps: I know this is a manip but I truly loved it)

Word count: 5.2k

✮⋆˙

You're so annoying, you always get on his nerves. You obviously do it on purpose purely for your own satisfaction of seeing him being pissed.

Eddie can't stand looking at the way you stay too close to his best friend, Gareth. You're dancing around with the geek, who invited you over to the dance floor at Robin's wedding party.

Months ago you were invited to her and Vickie's wedding. You were supposed to go with Eddie, before he decided to break up with you. You were invited to be her bridesmaid, and he was going to be your plus one. He ended up being a plus one to some girl your group of friends didn't know about. And your plus one was none other than Steve.

It ate him alive for the first two months. To know that you were going with his best friend, who also was your best friend. And the one he knows you likely fool around with sometimes. Which is why he feels the burning sensation in his stomach when he sees the way you slap his chest playfully whenever he makes a stupid joke. Because he knows you're doing it only to get under his skin.

Back before you were broken up, Eddie wondered about a few things about your relationship. He was having a hard time finding a new job, only getting paid when he was doing the concerts with his band. He still lives in the trailer with his uncle, most people think he's the town freak. He came up with the decision by himself, even though it meant breaking your heart. 

He thought he was doing the best for you. You didn't. You thought he was being selfish. You thought he was being childish and completely imprudent. He cried, he made you cry. You knew he still loved you. You still know he does, but at what cost? He wanted to let you go.

And this is why you do anything to piss him off. You don't need to struggle, because the simplest things you do are enough for him to become impossibly mad at you. You always add fuel to the fire. Steve told you to stop. Robin did the same. Until they stopped paying mind to it. As you're dancing with Gareth, you look from the corner of your eyes how he's nursing the same fucking beer for the past forty minutes. He's just so stupid.

A few girls came by to ask him for a dance and he turned down every offer. He refused to step out of his spot. Jonathan came by and started making fun of his own moves. Ripping a laugh from you both. Soon, the girls joined him. He wanted to ask you out once, but you thought you would only accept it to get back to Eddie.

He knows that deep down you still love him and it's obvious. And your friends don't want to come in between you two, because it's not their business.

You feel Eddie approaching the small circle, still holding the bottle of beer in his hand. He tries to dance with Gareth, but it's not like him to do that unless he's in the mood. And you're 100% sure he's not. He has to lean in and speak over your ear for you to hear him. The loud music is blasting through the speakers. You don't always let him do that, but you're curious to know what he has to say.

He asks if you two could talk and you simply respond "no". You then continue to dance with your friends, while he clenches his jaw and watches as you fully ignore him again. Gareth knows what his friend is going through, so he stops dancing and pulls his friend to a table.

You're in your small bubble of happiness, even though you can feel that small pinch in your stomach. Because you wished it was different.

You wished you were dancing with him now. You so wished you could have a slow dance with him. But the next best thing is Steve. You're already settled with yourself you'd let him fuck you tonight. You never crossed that line before, but you're trying to live a different life now. It hurts less to think of the mess Eddie made. He left the pieces so you'd pick them up alone.

From the dance, to the karaoke time, he wouldn't stop looking at you. He tried. He swears he tried to focus on something else. He forced himself to dance with another girl, he forced himself to start a conversation with another girl. But he noticed that the only thing he was getting was the regret biting his ass. The bitter taste of it at each swig of the beer that was already hot in his hand. And it wasn't the taste of the beer that was bitter anymore. 

You were never an attention seeker before. Now you're doing it every time he's around and he feels his blood pleasure rising each time you do something that catches his attention. Why is he even mad if he's the one to break up with you? Why is he mad that you're making his skin crawl when you grab Steve's arm and squeeze it, looking at his direction?

Why doesn't he move on with his life if he wanted to let go of you? He asks himself that every single living day of his life. And you do too. You just don't let it be known.

Eddie almost breaks the bottle in his hand when he notices you're dancing with your back to Steve. Your ass almost touching him, his firm hands under the line of your breasts, his chin resting on top of your shoulder as he sings along the lyrics over your ear.

He stands up from his seat, walking to the bar, where he asks for a glass of whiskey. Does he like the drink? Absolutely not, but he's miserable. He needs something stronger to get through the night.

He downs it in one gulp, asking for another shot. He's starting to feel defeated, because he can't handle the feeling of losing you. He lost you for no reason whatsoever. It's been months and he can't even begin to explain to himself just why he would do that. Now he watches as you almost grind against his best friend, wishing he was the one behind you. He turns his back at you and stares down at the empty glass. It took him long enough to give up watching you, but he can't do that all night and not enjoy the party. In fact, he can't seem to have the energy to do that.

Eddie sighs and drags himself out of the bar, walking out. He walks down the long hallway, looking for the bathroom. You don't hear the footsteps approaching, he doesn't know you're also there. It's a fucking unisex bathroom and you forgot to lock the door. He feels unlucky because he knows you'll think he came after you. But little does he know, you might put on a show tonight and piss him off even more.

"You might be the happiest person in this party tonight" He snaps you out of your thoughts, as he leans against the wall outside the bathroom.

You're still fixing your dress when you look up at him. His face holds a harsh expression, his arms are crossed over his chest. It might be the first time you ever see his hair in place because he used a hair fixing spray. Otherwise it would've been all messy already.

"I have no idea what you're on about" You don't give him the pleasure of your attention. You just keep walking back to the hall.

He walks behind you, following you. He scoffs and tries to reach out to you.

"Seriously, you should just drop the act for a second"

That makes you halt on your tracks and look over your shoulder. He hears the bitter chuckle you let out. He knows he struck a nerve.

"What act, Munson?" You hated calling him by his last name and he hated how it sounded coming from you. "I'm just having fun with my friends"

You continue walking, your heels echoing through the hallway. Eddie hates to admit that you look gorgeous wearing that dress. It's a dark green silky fabric with a slit, the straps are thin and the gown reaches the floor.

He catches up to you, gripping your wrist without force. You feel him pulling you back and walking towards the bathroom again, locking both of you inside. Your heart is strumming against your chest, your palms are sweaty. You haven't been this close to him in such a long time.

"Can you stop being so conceited for just a second?" This time you are the one to cross your arms when he speaks up. "If you're trying to prove a point, you did it. Congratulations!"

Eddie holds his waist like a mother scolding her child. It's kind of ridiculous, you think.

"I'm not trying to prove anything. You're just mad because you can't stand the fact that I'm moving on while you're feeling sorry for yourself. Which is good, you deserve it" You smirk and wink at him, leaving him completely silent.

It didn't last long. He laughs loudly, his head goes back and his chest is roaring. His smokey laugh is something you don't miss, to be honest. It's probably the only thing, though.

"How are you even moving on if you can't stop trying to mock me at every opportunity you have?" He takes a step forward, watching as you almost shrink backwards. "'Cause let me tell you something, darling. You're far from being over me"

He uses the nickname deliberately. He knows it makes you soft for him, you've always loved it when he called you that.

"I don't think you're capable of noticing how I don't give a shit about you anymore, darling" You sneer back.

There's not much space left between you two. You're already leaning against the sink and he's just a palm's length from you. You try to be reasonable, you try to convince yourself you don't care about him. You try to warn your body that you don't want him anymore. You keep your chin up, because otherwise you know you'll give in.

"The way you act when you're around my friends says otherwise. But really, you keep telling yourself that. There's a mirror behind you if it helps"

He's being sarcastically annoying. He's using his remarks against you because you know he's hurt. He's been hurt ever since he left your place. And your only way of living with the fact he wanted to break things up, is for you to play your own game.

But now it doesn't seem like it's working anymore. You try to avoid his gaze, the way his fingers tap against his biceps. You try to avert your eyes from looking at the chest hair that's peeking from his shirt. Just like his tattoos. He never wears those, it makes your head pound. He notices your reaction immediately and chuckles.

"Oh. So now you can't look at me?" Eddie finally closes the distance between you two, leaning against you. Your exposed neck clearly invites him. His breath hits your skin and you shiver, gripping the sink tightly over your hands. "What? I'm too intimidating?"

His voice is gruff, you can smell the whiskey in his breath and the perfume he's wearing. It's musky and addicting. The fact is, he's hardly ever intimidating. He's just doing it now to see you break down your walls and let him in. For a few seconds, you keep your guard up. And you use it for leverage as you push him backwards.

He makes you nervous. You don't know what kind of reaction he has on you now. He flicks his eyes from your pointed forefinger to your furrowed eyebrows.

"Don't you think you've done enough already?" Your voice is almost cracking, and as you try to leave the bathroom, he doesn't let you.

He's never been rough. Even now, he doesn't want to be rough. He carefully holds your wrists with both hands and pushes you against the wall. His nose almost bumps into yours.

"You know what you're doing. You're ruining me. And you're wrecking me. And I know you have all the right to do that, but I left you alone. I'm already a broken man, so you should just leave me alone as well if you really want to move on"

He's breathing heavily, his lips are almost twitching. You know you made him miserable, but the urge of feeling superior made it to your head. And you couldn't stop doing it. You like fooling around with Steve, you like to watch the regret and sorrow crossing over Eddie's eyes when you're around each other.

He kept his gaze at you. He was waiting for another snide remark to come from you. He anticipated your jabs at him because now that's how it felt like when talking to you. When you didn't respond or moved, he sighed. He let go of your wrists, dropping his weight over his hands that rested on each side of your head against the tiles of the wall.

"I thought I was doing you a favor. Being broke, being made fun of, being chased around as the "Satan worshiper". Getting behind in school. I mean, look at me" He shook his head. You intently heard his ranting. "Don't I look like a decent person wearing this?"

He pulls the fabric over his chest, showing you what he means. You know what he means. He's trying to say he looks better wearing clothes that aren't ripped, or that aren't patterned. Eddie has his own style, but he thinks it comes with the consequence of him being known as the freak.

"So let's be honest. I was just going to slow you down. You could have anyone. You're almost there already, because you have Steve. And that guy is every mother's dream of a son in law" His tone is bitter. He's jealous of Steve.

But not exactly because of his look. But because he's lucky to have you with him.

"I couldn't let you do it. You deserve so much better than me. I mean, I try my best at everything but I know I'll always be a failure" He stands in front of you looking the smallest he's ever felt in his life.

And you hate to be the one to fix it. Because he broke you. But he's been broken for a long time, you just couldn't help him more because he wouldn't let you.

"Are you done, Eddie?" You speak up after his monologue. He lifts his head up and furrows his brows in confusion at you. "I heard you, so now you're gonna listen to me"

He doesn't say a word, you're the one caging him now. Even though you're shorter than him, you confront him as he looks at you expectantly. You feel your throat burning, your eyes start to itch. You want to cry so hard right now. You want to scream at him and make him see how much you still love him.

"Don't you ever say you're a failure. You're the closest thing Wayne has to a family, you're practically his son. He's the proudest uncle you could ever imagine" You grip on his shirt tightly, the collar of the fabric getting completely creased. "You don't know how much our friends love you and how much you make them happy. Don't you ever see the way they laugh at your stupid jokes?"

Eddie feels his own eyes getting glassy. He was never ashamed of crying.

"You've always worked hard. You're a huge hard worker and you don't see that. You're so fucking blinded by the negative thoughts, you don't see the other way of life! You're so stupid you don't see how much I love you. How proud I am of you. How I couldn't care less about whatever the fuck those people think of you!"

You feel your chest ripping apart from seeing the way his tears are rolling against his face. His lips quiver and he can't seem to avoid your eyes. He sees right through you. He knows you still love him. He knows you never stopped loving him. And you feel like you can't help but feel sorry for him. For the way he thinks he doesn't deserve better.

"You deserve the whole fucking word, Munson" Your breath gets caught in your throat from crying. "You just don't see that. You don't want to see that. So you push people away because you think you're doing us a favor. But you know you're not".

"I'm sorry, darling. I'm fucking sor–" Eddie sobs audibly and drops his head over your shoulder. He cries loudly and can't hold back the tears that are falling harshly. You let him cry out.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, stroking his hair softly. You rest your cheek against his head, crying quietly because you can't stand being loud.

His voice comes out muffled from his position. "I do everything wrong. I can't even think of how I'm going to fix this. And it fucking hurts"

He grips your shoulder tightly. He's not feeling strong enough to let go just yet, so he stays like that. He's murmuring apologize after apologize next to your ear as he tries to stop himself from crying.

You spend several minutes holding each other. You don't know how your make up isn't that ruined, but you thank God for the waterproof mascara. At least it's still intact. As for the eyeshadow, you're not so sure.

Eddie seems to settle down, his shoulders are slumped and he's not sniffing against your skin anymore. He still takes a couple of minutes to compose himself, lifting his face from your shoulder. His eyes are bloodshot and his eyelids are kind of swollen. He grabs a piece of toilet paper to dry the tears that were left. You're caught off guard when he brings another piece to clean your smudged make up.

He's careful to not rip the rest of it off. Your heart flutters at the action. And he notices how soft your eyes have become. How your demeanor shifted to a less tense body. You grab his hand and pull him closer, placing your lips softly against his. Eddie closes his eyes and hums to the touch.

"I'm sorry for being so hard on you. I know I was being a bitch" You speak with your mouth still against his.

He places one hand over your jawline, rubbing his thumb against your cheek.

"We're quite even, I guess"

He pulls you in for a deeper kiss, his teeth grazing against your lower lip. "You look gorgeous"

You don't know how to respond to this. Your first reaction is to hide your face on the crook of his neck. Wrong choice. You inhaled his scent, the smell hitting your nostrils like a punch to the gut. You wanted to bite him. You wanted to do atrocities with him. You just had the most vulnerable moment together, he was crying over your shoulder and there you were thinking dirty things.

"You don't look so bad yourself" You try to play cool, your heartbeat starting to become unsteady.

Eddie finds his way to your earlobe, hovering over your skin. His husky tone fanned your ear "I couldn't help but wish I could fuck you in this bathroom"

You felt that cold shiver traveling through your entire body. There's a turning point for you when he gently gives you a bite in the soft area and pulls it.

He slowly made his way to your back and stood behind you. His chest barely touches you. He slid one hand over your shoulder, his fingertips dropping to the side of your arm.

"Look how beautiful you are" He placed his hand over your chin so you'd look at yourself in the mirror.

He used the same hand, slithering it across your back, carefully pushing you forward until you're bending over the sink. He slowly unzips your dress, using his knuckles to ghost over your skin, until he reaches your lower back. He loves the curves, the dimples. Eddie feels his heart racing, the blood pumping in his ears. He removes the straps of the dress from your shoulders, watching your dress pool on your feet. 

You’re still watching it through the mirror, the way he looks at your skin with passion, the way his fingers touch you in the slightest way. He grabs your waist with both hands and swings you over so you face him. He’s mesmerized. He missed you so much. He missed seeing you, kissing you, looking at you. He doesn’t want to waste another minute without you anymore. 

You’re the first to pull him for another kiss, it’s desperate and you clash your teeth together. He glides his hands down, groping your ass, sinking his fingers down your skin. You’re only wearing lace underwear, the soft fabric doesn’t do much to protect your heated core from feeling his bulge against you. You unbutton his shirt, fumbling with it as you leave it open.

Your hands travel through his tattooed chest, down his stomach. Eddie grunts in your mouth, leaving a trace of kisses when he pulls away. He spreads small kisses on your neck, down your chest, until he’s in the middle of your breasts. He sticks his tongue out and licks your skin, slowly reaching your nipple. He rolls it around your hardened skin and sucks on it. He cups your other breast with his free hand and rubs circles around your nipple. 

You grip his hair tightly, tangling it between your fingers as you bite your lip. Eddie never missed an opportunity to make you feel good, and he’s doing it now. He always thinks of you first whenever it comes to sex and it’s not different this time.

He sucks on your skin desperately and pinches your nipple, enjoying the whimpers you let out. You feel his rough fingertips sliding down your stomach, reaching your inner thigh. They slip through the fabric of your underwear, reaching your soaking slit. You mewl, throwing your head back.

He's still playing with your nipple between his teeth, all while his fingers slip up and down your core, stroking your clit softly. He works his hand fast on your pussy, pulling two fingers into you. He listens to your mumbles, your moanings and hums in excitement. His pants are becoming too tight to his cock that's aching for you. You can't hold back the sounds you're making, your head is hanging back, almost leaning against the mirror.

"Eddie, please. I-" You pull on his hair when he pumps you faster, curling his fingers into you.

He's making noises from sucking your tits, he's being as loud as he can and he loves the way you react to it. You love the way his ringed fingers slip in and out of you, you love watching him fucking you.

You instantly miss his touch when he pulls out of you, lifting his head up as he gazes at you with blown eyes. His unbuttoned shirt is making your head spin from the sight. He's not sure it's the whiskey talking, but he hums in appreciation when he licks his fingers, tasting your wetness. Your knees almost buckle.

Eddie holds your waist and spins you around, facing your back to him. Your underwear barely covers your ass and his mouth twitches. He bends you over the sink. He wants to slap your ass so bad, he wants to punish you for pissing him off, but he doesn't. He strokes your delicate skin, his eyes wander through your body. He finally undoes his pants and rolls them down his legs with his boxer. His swollen cock finally springs free, glistening with precum.

Before he can even make a move, he snaps his head to look at you through the mirror. You're expectantly waiting for him to pound on you. "Baby, are you sure?"

Your skin shivers from the nickname again, you just nod. He spreads your legs with his knee, rubbing his tip along your slit, hissing at the feeling he's been longing for.

He pushes into your pussy without warning, spreading you open until he's deep on you. Your body jolts forward with his thrust, his pubic bone slapping against your ass.

"Oh fuck" He grunts, slipping in and out of you. His cock sinks further into your hole.

He slowly starts to speed up his pace, wrapping his arm around your waist as he holds you for support. Your hands are leaning over the sink. Eddie tugs on your hair and pulls it roughly so you lift your head up to watch him against the mirror. He furrows his brows as he watches his cock disappearing inside of you.

He pounds on you, resting his head on top of your shoulder. His breath is uneven, the smell of whiskey hits your skin. You feel the roughness of his hold and it's vexations, because he's already balls deep into you and it feels like you can't get enough of him.

Your hand flies up to hold his neck, your long nails scratching his skin. They sink on it. Your head now rests against his shoulder, but he pulls your hair forcefully and it makes you tilt your head. You try to look at him, but your vision gets blurry.

He's relentlessly hitting you and you clench around him. Your pussy cages his cock, putting pressure into it, making him disrupt immediately. He freezes his movements because you're holding him so tight, it's hard to thrust into you. Eddie grazes his teeth over your neck, sucking on your skin, squeezing your waist in response.

"Please, baby. I need you" He rasps. His throat goes dry when you grind on him. "Fuck, do that again"

He's begging and he doesn't care. You start grinding against him, rolling your hips. He watches your ass sliding against his skin and his cock twitches. He's not gonna last longer. He's surprised he's been hard for that long. He almost crushes your bones for holding you too tight.

His hand goes up to your throat squeezing it, almost choking you. He thrusts harder against you, inching ever so deeply. You're barely up on your feet, if it wasn't for him holding you. Your eyes keep shutting, your mouth is open widely and he uses it for his benefit, sticking two fingers into it. Your tongue roams against his skin, giving him the blissful satisfaction he's been waiting for.

You suck on his fingers as he sloppily hits his hips against your ass. You start to see white when the orgasm comes in a wave of pleasure that you can't hold. Your legs are shaking, your arms are rigid and your stomach is tied to a knot. Your pussy throbs and clenches around his cock multiple times, and Eddie feels his body jolt too.

It doesn't give him time to prepare for it as he spurts inside of you. His cock is twitching and releasing his cum incessantly. He barely opens his eyes, only peeking through his lashes as he watches both of you coming down through the mirror. He feels his cum streaming down his cock to your legs. The warm, white liquid painting your skin.

You throb at the same time he twitches, your cunt is so sensitive you can barely move. He stays inside of you for a while, ripping his fingers from your mouth, still holding your waist. His hand is now soft on you, but he leaves marks from how much he squeezed you. His fingertips are printed on your skin.

He whispers over your ear, saying he's going to pull out of you and it's painful when he does. For both of you. Eddie groans at the feeling and immediately sighs.

"Come here" He gently says, helping you sit up on the sink.

Before he helps clean you up, he puts his pants back up, carefully fixing his underwear in place. His tip is so sensitive, it's hard to even touch it. He picks the toilet paper, wetting it under the faucet. You watch as he rubs your skin, cleaning off his cum. You find it passionate.

Eddie always did that to you. He always cleaned you up, but rather, he would even pick clean clothes for you to wear after. Your heart is still beating fast, the sight of him soothing your body when he helps lifting your dress and zipping it up. He fixes the straps and smooths your hair down.

You're still watching him over the mirror. The entire time he's focused on you. On your skin. On your body. Your well-being.

He then fixes his own hair, making sure it's in place. He buttons up his shirt and leaves it open on the collar because he knows you like staring at him. He shoots you a warm smile and you blush. It's like you lost your confidence towards him. He washes his hands and his face. His cheeks are still flushed.

You seem to be in a daze, your eyes are roaming over his entire body. His hair that is shorter now, he doesn't have bangs anymore. He grew out a beard, more like a stubble. Your fingers are tapping against the tiles of the wall. Then you snap out of it a second later, walking out of the bathroom as he follows your steps.

You turn to him, extending your hand towards him. Eddie looks at you in confusion, and you wiggle your fingers so he holds your hand.

"We can talk about it later" Your eyes crinkle when you give him a side smile. He nods and laces his fingers in yours.

Eddie didn't think he would come to the wedding and have fun. He knew he was going to be miserable months before. You thought you were going to leave the party and sleep with Steve. You knew you wouldn't be able to stop mocking Eddie.

You're both walking down to the hall, hands tied, faces flushed. Reminiscing about the relationship didn't cross both your mind. Maybe the missing piece was the conversation, his redemption.

Now as he walks by your side, he thinks he needs to give himself a break and stop being a victim. He can't lose you again and he will make it up to you.

[shuenkio]

Midas touch | 선우 (͡⁠°⁠‿⁠ ͡⁠°) 엔.하.이.픈 ᝰ.ᐟ

Paring: Sunoo X Male!reader ᝰ.ᐟ Genre: Suggestive, Fluff.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Synopsis: Big boy is upset and sulking knowing that you'll be working as a makeup artist on the other members

Cw: slight Curse, jealous, a lil possessive.

Non proof read / Eng is not my 1st.

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

AᝰN: Sorry to my anon that I didn't do justice for this to be smau :( after thinking and write through for a while I'm okay with the suggestive instead. I hope you don't mind and give it a go >< thanks for the idea .

➽──────────────❥

Every fans dream was to be close to their own idols, such as work as stylists, make up artists, managers and so on. But little did they do, there was no love involved. Work means work, you can't go to work just to love your idol, you go to work for passion and living, isn't that right? Common sense.

However it was one in a million that you get chosen as a male make up artist for one of a popular boy group, ENHYPEN. Yet that was in the past, actually you've worked for them for God knows how long, ever since their Debut era, Given-Taken. If somebody asks how many things you've witnessed watching them grow, Proud is the only answer.

Being this young, and getting to walk in the same journey with the 7 boys, it's truly life changing, not only watching them grown, your mindset, maturity, emotional have grown too. You get to pinpoint what's right or wrong.

Present time, the one and only member that you've been working for the ultimate is Sunoo. To say how experienced you were with him, is quite easy. Sunoo is a guy who's easily outgoing, fun to talk to, making you feel exist, being by his side is never bored just sometimes when he's bored, he's scrolling his media.

➽──────────────❥

Making your way to the music show make up room, because ENHYPEN just came back with a new repackage album. There'll be tons of work for shooting promotions music shows, make up is very... Important.

Today is different, the boy's manager approaches you with some other new staff as well. He announced that you will be moved to work with another member, that turns out to be Jungwon for the next few months since the former staff took their break, while Sunoo got a new female staff member. Somehow it makes no sense why you have to move, when the new staff could go right to Jungwon but soon, was explained by the manager himself, that Jungwon suggested he wanted to work with you, also Sunoo is getting along pretty well with girls so why not. It clicked after the manager in the state, nothing more to be curious about.

Get to work right after, as you are doing make up for Jungwon, the leader seems happy that you agree to work with him while he chit chat with you how he had seen your work, your calm presence, and your aura around Sunoo and other people as well which response by your chuckle. Is that all he wanted? Silly boy. Beside that, Jungwon would find many dad crack jokes on you, practice his flirty skills out of the blue that affect you a lot, finding yourself tummy freeze from laughing.

Unbeknownst to you, Sunoo is upset and sulking on the other side. He was pouting all the time as the new female staff did her job quietly, and didn't dare to ask why. He was seen taking a deep sigh, chin resting, and introvert the whole time. Not when he heard Jungwon is flirting with you, all the goofy and cheese stuffs hearing from the other side that would make him hot. Yet he bottled it up, waiting for the right moment to have a talk with you?

Nearly time up for the attendance for the promotion shooting, the manager would ask all the members to get prepared, pee or drinks and essential things to do, that could delay the time. Coincidentally, as you are making your way to the bathroom, you see Sunoo was there too, but it seems like, when he looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed together just like you did something to make him mad.

Just like usual, best friend for many years, you go up and ask what's wrong with him, politely when he responds back making you surprised.

"M/n you never know who I am but... Seeing you with Jungwon makes my heart hurt!! Come back to me" instead of throwing a tantrum, Sunoo jotting his bottom lip out, pouting on the edge of crying as he speaks.

What is going on really, this is not sad but funny.

"oh gosh Sunoo snort i never knew you'd cry for this, but it's just a few months. It's not like

I only did it on him bias, sometimes I'd work on other members too including you, stop sulking it's not Sunoo anymore" You claim, explain how it works, as results that does light him up a lil bit, before flashing you a bright smile like he used too.

"Hug? Please~"

" sigh Okay, Hug" intended your arm open, as his talk frame wrapped around your small body. His hand smoothed over your back in slow, soothing circles, and you could feel the unspoken comfort in the way his chin rested on the crooked of your neck. All at once, the naughty hands of Sunoo grope both of the cheeks behind your back, His hand found your cheek with a touch that was both rough and unintentional, the calluses of his fingers brushing against your skin like an afterthought.

"Sunoo!? What's this behavior" You whine, as his hand feels your butt cheeks, carelessly on it as if he worships them, giving them some attention in case they need it but that's just him.

"but I miss this saur much, well I think it's bigger than mine now the last I've touched it, haha" Sunoo wheeze under his throat, as he pulled back his hands away and handed up like a police officer arrested him.

"You naughty boy, you're only sunshine in front of the fan but not for me" Blushing, tinted on your face. Crossing your hands over your chest, turn away from his playfulness. At some points his touch does make you feel the unspoken strange too, it kinda... Hot?

"okay okay, I won't do it again M/n don't be mad at me. Oh they're calling! See you later, I'll treat you to a cup of coffee after this, mwah" Blowing the sweetest kiss, before disappearing out of your sight.

Exhaled softly alone in the rest room, you find yourself thinking about his sudden touch earlier that does magic on you that can't be forgotten easily. It's just a few weeks apart from him before the comeback, but he grows more bold? Sigh deeply.

"Shit, why am I rock hard over this. Pull yourself together M/N!"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

[bleedingoptimism]

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚

part 1

“You look pale,” Jeff comments making Eddie snort loudly.

Of course he looks pale, he’s got vampirism, doesn't he? But then again, so does Jeff and he looks great.

“When was the last time you fed?” He asks.

Eddie sighs heavily trying to reign in his bad mood. He knows Jeff’s just worried and wants to help, and he’s grateful to have run into an old friend from high school as soon as he moved into the big city. 

Because he’d be utterly lost without him.

He doesn't know where anything is, he gets lost in the subway, and he has no idea when he’s being charged too much for a muffin or suspiciously too little for a hotdog, or where all the blood markets are.

“Like, two weeks ago,” Eddie finally answers.

Jeff looks surprised but it’s not actually that bad, people with vampirism can go up to 4 to 5 weeks without blood. 

It’s not the same as those vampires from movies and books, they still eat food and they can stand in the sun with just minor cases of sunburn. There’s also the light sensitivity, making them all look like assholes wearing sunglasses everywhere.

Also, they are not allergic to garlic. Which, thank the heavens because Eddie loves garlic, a lot.

There’re a couple of side effects that do come in handy sometimes, like augmented hearing and smell. And the healing spit is super weird but nifty. No super strength regrettably, that would’ve been awesome.

Anyways, it’s like they have super anemia or something.

“I went to a blood bar, hooked up with some dude but. I didn't have a good time, at all. I kind of don't want to go back to bars for a while,” He elaborates and when Jeff frowns worried, he shakes his head,

“No, not like that. It’s just… the dude was like way too into it, you know? It kinda freaked me out.”

“What do you mean? Don't you find it hot? When you feed?” Jeff asks him, curious. 

Eddie nods quickly, “Yes, of course I do! It can be really sexy with the right person, but this guy, he was like- like way too loud and like, he was faking it? I don’t for who, though. And halfway through it, I started getting worried I’d accidentally hired someone instead of just hooked up and I didn’t have any money, and then I started thinking about money and my dick-”

“Ok! Ok, I get it.” Jeff thankfully interrupts him. “Dude, why didn’t you say something, I know of a place. I didn’t mention it before because it’s kind of boujee and handles itself a little differently.” 

“Oh? Do tell” Eddie tells him excitedly, he loves going to new places, especially if they are weird.

“Well, it’s real private, like ‘can’t get in unless you are on the list’ private. And it’s run by this girl. Blonde little thing, super cute. Scary as fuck. Everyone calls her ‘The Boss’” he says doing air quotes.

“Dramatic, I like it.” Eddie smiles.

Jeff chuckles, “So the gist of it it’s you go there and just hang out normally, like any other kind of bar. The place is beautiful, the music is good, and the drinks are delicious. But what's interesting about this place is the hostesses,” he says and even does a little pause for effect before continuing, “Similar to a blood bar there’re people there willing to be fed on but what’s cool about it is they get to choose.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows, “That sounds kind of fun, actually.”

“Right? And it feels, safer somehow? For them?” Jeff agrees and Eddie nods and smiles at him, waiting for him to keep going.

“Anyway, the hostesses choose and then you get to go upstairs and talk through what you want to happen, just feeding, sex, talking, anything they agree to, it's on the table. I once ended up just playing a game of Uno with the girl I fed on and two other hostesses that hadn't picked anyone that night.” he finishes and Eddie laughs delightedly.

“Ok, this place sounds amazing, what’s the catch?” 

“Well, you have to pay an entry fee, the drinks are expensive and there’s always the possibility you’ll leave empty-handed. The first time is free though,” Jeff says.

“Like drugs,” Eddie replies and Jeff nods solemnly, 

“You know the hostesses can be kind of addicting.” 

…

That night, on the way there, Jeff tells him they have to sign a guest list at the entrance,

“No one uses their real name, not because the place is shady or anything! But because they want to leave that choice to us and the hostesses if you ever get too close with one. It's not like, frowned upon.”

Eddie nods listening intently, he feels kind of nervous in a way he hasn't in a while, but he’s not sure why.

“Also, secret nicknames are fun! I’m known as Jay there. So please don’t dox me. Or yourself.” Jeff tells him.

After careful consideration, Eddie smiles and says, “I’ll be… Strider”

“Nerd”

“Shut up, you are just jealous you didn't come up with it yourself”

Jeff laughs, “You got me there,” he says, and then, “We are here” and he opens a big glass windowed door and vows to Eddie, inviting him in.

Eddie chuckles and enters and immediately almost runs into someone—a tall, massive guy with short curly hair and the shadow of a beard.

“Hey freak,” Jeff greets calmly, “He’s with me,”

Eddie cringes at the nickname, bad memories from high school bullying. But the dude just nods and gives Jeff the tiniest of smiles, so he figures it’s the nickname the bouncer chose for himself.

They enter and sign their name in the guest book, a girl about their age with dirty blond hair and hundreds of freckles on her nose and cheeks is there and she asks Eddie a couple of questions. Not in a weird way, but in a ‘you are new and I’m curious’ kind of way.

Eddie feels comfortable and excited as they go in.

Jeff was right, the place is beautiful. The lobby leads to a big room with high ceilings and fake candle-lit lamps. The chairs and tables are antiques and all different but roughly the same time period so they look good together. There’re old signs and posters from all kinds of drinks and different products adorning the walls. And the music is instrumental and oldie too, sounds like probably 40s or 50s.

It is incredibly boujee. But in a fun way, cozy and warm.

They get a seat at a small round table in a corner and Jeff lets Eddie look around for a while before asking,

“So? Weird right? It’s like stepping into another time,”

Eddie snorts, “Yeah, one that has no idea which time period it wants to repre- who is that?”

Jeff looks at where Eddie is looking and sighs, “Of course you noticed Sunshine,”

“Sunshine?” Eddie sighs.

“That’s what they call him. Because apparently he smells like flowers and summer and tastes like orgasms or something,” Jeff says amused rolling his eyes.

The guy, Sunshine, is probably the prettiest person he’s ever seen in his life, definitely the most beautiful man in this room. His face is a contradiction of sharp and round angles that is just absolutely perfect, and he’s wearing a black suit that clings to his body like a second skin, showing off his big shoulders and his tiny waist. He’s looking around the room with big, brown eyes that look bored as he leans against a wall like he’s above it all, he’s a fucking dream.

Eddie swallows audibly and looks smirking at Jeff for a second before his eyes drift back to the man, “Tastes like what, you said” he teases and Jeff snorts.

“Not that anyone would know, as far as I know, he’s never taken anyone upstairs,” he tells Eddie in a conspiratory tone.

That makes him incredibly curious, “Really? Why is he still here then?”

“I don’t know for sure, mostly rumors but he’s the boss’s favorite, that’s for sure. Oh!” Jeff exclaims and then nods his head to a girl sitting on the other side of the room, in a big fancy-looking chair that looks more like a throne than a simple piece of furniture.

She’s got blonde hair up in a ponytail and she’s wearing a flowery dress but there's something about the way she looks around the room, something about the way people walk around her and look at her, with respect or fear, or maybe both. She’s fucking intimidating.

While Eddie’s looking, the girl from the front desk, with the freckles, comes to sit on a small stool beside the “throne”, there’s another one on the other side that’s empty. The blonde girl moves her hand towards freckles and she kisses it and then her shoulder and smiles as she leans in closer and starts whispering to her.

It’s kind of surreal. 

“That’s The Boss, and the girl from the entrance, that’s Sparrow. She’s her girl.” Jeff explains.

“Respect for looking scary in a sundress,” Eddie comments.

And Jeff nods, “Anyways my theory is, Sunshine is actually just a bodyguard and not a hostess but the people that come here like to think they actually have a chance with him, so no one says anything to the contrary.”

Eddie snorts and nods, it makes sense. It's actually very good marketing, just like the ‘the first one is free’ thing. That boss girl is really smart with her business.

Jeff and he get a few drinks and they chat calmly, Jeff isn't looking to go upstairs tonight, he only came by to accompany Eddie and Eddie knows he should be looking around, trying to make eye contact with someone, but he can stop staring at Sunshine.

He even looked at their table at one point, and Eddie thought he was going to faint. He was scanning the room as he apparently does every couple of minutes when he caught Jeff’s eye and Jeff lifted his hand in greeting.

And Sunshine’s face completely transformed, his bored calculating expression changed into a beautiful smile that made his eyes shine. He wiggled his fingers at Jeff cutely before going back to looking like fucking Droopy Dog. If Droopy was the sexiest motherfucker alive. It was amazing to see.

Eddie’s jaw almost hit the table and he turned to look at Jeff stunned and he just shrugged,

“Sunshine was one of the hostesses I ended up playing Uno with. He’s fucking vicious,” he says smiling at the memory.

Eddie chuckles as his eyes follow Sunshine moving across the room, he just can't. Stop. Looking.

But the thing is, Sunshine is looking back now. Keeping eye contact with him obviously and unashamed. It’s thrilling and it makes shivers run down his spine.

He watches as Sunshine sits on the stool on the other side of The Boss’s throne and grabs her hand and holds it, intertwining their fingers. 

The Boss and her girl turn and look at him and the three of them start whispering, looking at him.

“Dude,” he says and turns to Jeff to see if he’s seeing what he’s seeing.

Jeff looks from him to the whispering party, “Un fucking believable, first time here and tonight is the night Sunshine is taking someone upstairs” he says looking fed up, but clearly in a joking manner.

“Is that what you think it’s happening? No way,” Eddie shakes his head as Sparrow says something that makes The Boss chuckle but Sunshine speaks up and she sobers up immediately. Curious.

“He’s looking right at you, he probably went to ask Sparrow about you,” Jeff insists.

“Maybe he’s looking at you”

“He’s seen me before,” Jeff scoffs.

He’s about to reply but their conversation gets interrupted by someone shily clearing their throat. A girl, a hostess, is looking at him with curious eyes, and shit… she’s cute and looks like a nice person but, Eddie can’t- he needs to know what those looks from Sunshine meant.

He needs him.

He looks back at the group quickly to see Sunshine and The Boss in deep conversation and Sparrow… is she glaring at him?

He rejects the girl, as nicely as possible and Jeff scoffs and murmurs ‘unbelievable’ under his breath again as Eddie turns to look back at Sunshine.

Who is walking toward them, holy shit.

“Holy shit,” Jeff says and then moves to stand. Eddie grabs his wrist and tries to pull him back.

“Wait what are you doing, dont-” But Jeff frees himself and starts walking away,

“Good luck!” He sings songs and then leaves him alone.

part 1: you are here

part 2: 👄

part 3: 🩸

bonus content: ☀️

ao3: 🌙

art: 🦇

coffee?☕🥐💕

[lookninjas]

So I usually try to do music from a bunch of different countries on these playlists, but now that the Latvian thing has become an acknowledged running joke, it's time to take it to the next level. Also, while I dunk on the algorithm as much as any tumblr user... it really has taken my love of Citi Zēni and turned into a plethora of awesome artists that I've had an amazing time listening to. So I'm gonna just give Latvia some love here.

The game is simple: Pick a song from one of my bad descriptions. You do not have to recognize the song to pick it. Just go with the description that suits your mood. Feel the vibes. Vote, reblog so other people can vote, and at the end of a week I will make a playlist out of the results, from the song with the least votes to the song with the most votes.

If you are burningly curious about a song and don't want to wait a week, shoot me an ask and I will tell you what the song is. And if you want to hear the playlist (I promise you do), leave a comment asking to be tagged, or ask to be tagged when you reblog, and I will tag you.

Except I'm tagging @not-kaiva now, because you asked for recs that were similar to Bermudu Divstūris on the country poll, and I didn't really get back around to answering, but there will probably be something on this playlist you like, so stay tuned.

Okay, that's it. Please vote, please reblog, and please listen to something new this week. It's fun.

[resurrectionist3]

Praying for Love, Paying in Naivety

The Worst People Trilogy - Part I

Daniel Cleaver x fem!Reader (18+) 🖋️- 02/14/2025 🔏 - 02/15/2025 ⏳ - 3038 words

⚠️CW - 18+ NSFW, brief p in v, general smut, cheating (dont do it), debauchery and devious acts, mentions of drug and alcohol use, cigarette smoking, Daniel Cleaver again (im sorry), small Mark Darcy appearance at the end (sorry again)

✧─── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ───✧

Author’s Note - been planning this little stunt for a while (but of course I wait until the last minute to write it). I was going to say that this isn’t good but now that it’s done, I definitely believe it’s good and I hope you like it. If you cant tell by the song, it’s inspired by “But It’s Better If You Do” by Panic! At the Disco. Stay tuned for the next two parts coming this weekend, this trilogy will be wild. And no, I don’t want to hear about the logistics of them not recognising each other with just face masks on. I didn’t come up with the entire concept, I’m just filling in the fun details. This is also only partially edited. So if there are any egregious errors, return in about a day or two and they might be fixed. Timex Part ii WILL exist, I promise! But Valentine’s Day arrived so quickly and I told myself I’d do this idea for the holiday!!

✧─── ⋆⋅ ✧⋅⋆ ───✧

I looked over the ornate invitation a couple more times before exiting my car.

Rarely would I ever attend such an event but I had been in need of some excitement.

A certain line on the invite stuck in my mind as i secured bronze eye mask to my face:

‘Consider bringing a spouse or partner along. Or don’t.. if you would be so bold.’

“Are you busy on the 14th of February, dear?” I had asked my fiancé.

He paused and thought in silence, as he always did. “Busy with work that day, love. So sorry.” he said finally.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. What was new? All he ever did was work.

“That’s alright,” I had responded. I repeated it again to myself there in the car as I pulled the diamond engagement ring from my finger and placed it in the locked glove compartment.

I checked the invite once more for the address; this place looked .. abandoned. Certainly no place for a party. It was located in an older part of London, tucked into an alleyway. A proper secret hideaway, one that I wouldn’t have noticed if I weren’t looking for it.

I knocked on the heavy metal door, not sure what to expect. A moment later, footsteps sounded and a small opening in the door slid to the side.

“Password…?” Came a soft voice from within. I furrowed my brows at the invite and spoke loud and clear to the person on beyond the door.

“Vices and virtues.”

The opening shut and a lock clicked open. The heavy door opened slowly with a loud, ominous creak. I swallowed hard, wondering if this was honestly a good idea. But I was nothing if not a curious bitch with a desperate need for more excitement.

I turned around the door to thank whoever let me in and found myself shocked when there was no one there. A chill ran down my spine as I searched the dark corner with my eyes before continuing on.

Dance music played in the distance growing louder as i approached the main room. The smell of cigarettes and something illicit hit me before I entered. The room was full of different people, all hiding their identities with some form of mask on their faces. Various attendees crossed the room in all directions around of me, each of them lost in their own conversations.

I grew disoriented as I navigated the crowd, nearly bumping into a group doing lines of coke off of a glass top table. My chest tightened as I excused myself from them and I sighed in relief when I finally stumbled to a bar.

‘My god, I’m truly past my days of partying, aren’t I?’ I thought to myself.

“This crowd too much for you?” A voice said behind me, making me jump. The bartender stood there, a young man with slicked back dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He even wore a mask of his own, a white one adorned with gold filigree on the edges and decorated with black music notes.

He chuckled lowly at my jumpy reaction and sipped his own drink, a peach and lime daiquiri. “Didn’t mean to startle you, miss. Is this your first time here?”

I nodded slowly and settled myself onto the barstool. “It is. I haven’t been to a party like this in ages.”

He began to mix up a drink, something that looked light and refreshing. “Well, try not to overthink anything. Or overdo it. Most people are just here to have a good time. In more ways than one.”

He glanced to a couple further down the bar who were … very interested in each other. I looked for a moment and widened my eyes at the sight.

“Well.. I’d be lying if I said I had come here for anything different.” I admitted to the bartender.

“I can guarantee, miss, there’s plenty of people here who would be more than willing to get lost in you.” He responded.

“Do you know anything about who’s throwing this party? And who invited all these people?” I asked him, taking out my invitation.

The bartender sucked air through his teeth and shook his head apologetically while he continued the drink in a silver shaker. “No, miss. Afraid I don’t. I get an invitation, same as you lot. I come in, make the drinks, I’m paid on the way out, and that’s that. And I get paid enough to not ask questions.”

I sighed and nodded in understanding while i watched him strain the drink into a glass and begin on an orange garnish. “But I’ve worked these parties enough times to know how they go,” He slid me the drink as he finished and I took a sip, feeling myself physically relax.

He paused for a moment and took a hard look at me. His brow furrowed momentarily as he looked from me to the crowded room.

“You know, I saw a gentleman earlier with a mask quite similar to yours,” He said gingerly as he scanned the people around the room. I turned in my seat to look as well, surprised.

“You did..? That’s… is that common at these types of parties?” I ask, turning back to the bartender who was wearing a satisfied smile.

“I wouldn’t say common but, it happens,” He nodded behind me and I looked again, this time catching him. A tall gentleman in a black suit, wearing a bronze mask that indeed looked oddly similar to my own.

“When it does happen,” the bartender said, having leaned closer to me. “I like to think of it as a sign.”

My brows raised at him and he shrugged wordlessly, returning to his own dignified beverage. He said nothing else to me as I finished my drink and pondered my decision.

‘What the hell…’ I thought. ‘That’s what you’re here for.’

I left the glass on the bar and slid from the stool to walk to the man. He seemed to notice me right away, a subtle smile forming on his lips. I returned the look and stopped a bit further from him as some party goers walked in front of me. From what I could tell, he was surely handsome. And a breath of fresh air compared to what waited for me at home.

Whatever that bartender had put in my drink seemed to have an effect on me, or maybe it was the atmosphere of the party finally pulling me in. Whichever it was, it had made me far more confident. Or at least extremely bold.

I strode across the room to the man, feeling my heels click on the concrete floor below.

When i reached him, he smirked wordlessly at me and only paused a moment before leaning down to press his lips to mine. I didn’t object, instead sliding my hands up to his broad shoulders and sighing. The man held me to him and for a moment, everything around us faded away. The music became muffled along with the voices of the crowd around us and nothing else seemed to matter.

Not the party. Not the people. Not the drugs. And certainly not my fiancé back in his office at work, no doubt. Just me and this illustrious stranger.

Before I knew it, we were moving from the main room down a hallway off to the side. Several doors were at varying degrees of openness, revealing the rather unholy acts being committed in the rooms around us. When we reached an empty one, I wasted no time at pulling my new lover back to me. My tongue slid across his lip and made its way into his mouth as his hands caressed along my back gently. I felt the zipper of my dress slowly falling and my dress gradually slipping from my body, eventually ending up a pool of black velvet on the floor.

The man’s suit jacket and shirt went as well, tossed carelessly to a corner as I pushed him to the red velvet bed adorned with various pillows and blankets. I kneeled down by the edge of the bed to pull down his trousers and pants beneath them, revealing a large and erect cock. The man let out a groan and let his head fall back as i stood and straddled his waist over the bed.

‘His .. voice, it’s.. no, it’s nothing.’

I smiled as I leaned over him and kissed him once more, our masks gently tapping against each other.

I gasped and released a long moan as i sank down on his length, pausing immediately to adjust to his size. My breathing was heavy as i planted my hands on his chest to keep myself up. Soft, slight moans slipped from my lips as I lowered myself onto him, finally settled when he was fully inside.

I slowly shifted my hips, unable to shake the feeling that this was all … familiar. His voice, his groaning and moaning. His hair, his eyes. His cock…

It was all faintly familiar somehow. I opened my eyes to look at him once again and noticed his mask.. slipping.

I did what i knew I shouldn’t have done. But curiosity got the better of me in the moment. My hand trailed up from his chest, to his neck, and eventually to his face where I lifted his bronze mask…

“DANIEL??” I shrieked, entirely too loud. He jumped, suddenly startled, and so did I - directly off his cock.

I stared in horror at him, finally taking it all in. It was HIM. My ex boyfriend. That I hadn’t seen in TWO YEARS. I tore my own mask from my face and let it fall on top of my discarded dress.

“(Y/N)??” He responded, suddenly also aware of the situation.

We both stuttered and stammered at one another, each trying to simultaneously explain ourselves and scold the other person.

“What on EARTH are you doing here??”

“What am I doing? What are YOU doing?? I thought you despised parties!?”

“I swear to god, Cleaver, you orchestrated this whole thing, didn’t you? Like a pathetic Jay Gatsby??”

“Me?? Oh please, (Y/N), like I’d invite you and that fiancé of yours if I did!”

My hands shook with frustration as I began to gather my dress. “I will NOT do this Daniel, not again! I left you for a reason-“

I turned from him, tired of his voice, and began to dress myself. Daniel then paused and scoffed at me. “Oh, well… that’s too bad, (Y/N)! I could honestly tell you were enjoying it. Seems like you needed a good fuc-“

I sighed hard and turned around to kiss him again, furiously this time. Unfortunately, he was right. I *did* need a good fuck.

When the deed was done, the room was eerily silent compared to how it had been a few moments ago. Daniel and I sat quietly and civilly beside each other on the bed, each smoking a cigarette. The room was beginning to become foggy, the ceiling clouded with the noxious blue smoke from the nicotine sticks. I felt more relaxed than I had in a year. Unfortunate to say, I really needed that. Needed this. Needed him.

“So, how’s life treating you..?” Daniel asked nonchalantly. I immediately scoffed at him and rolled my eyes, taking a drag on my cigarette.

“Oh please.. spare me. If I wanted small talk, i would’ve stayed home.”

“Oh?” Daniel mused. “Trouble in paradise..?” I glared at him and his shit-eating grin. “Is Arsey Darcy not all you thought he’d be….?”

I rolled over and stared at the other wall ignoring him, as Daniel chuckled behind me.

“Ah, no more engagement ring? Call off the wedding did you? A shame, really.”

I furrowed my brows and panicked for a moment at the feeling of my ring being missing before I remembered I had left it in the car. I sighed and sat up, taking a long inhale of my cigarette. “Nope… No, still very engaged. And so ready to be married.” My sarcastic tone was so obvious, it almost sounded scripted. “The wedding is in a week.”

Daniel reacted, recoiling. “Oh dear, a week? And you’re here?? Alone, and with no engagement ring on?? My god, he must’ve really screwed it up… Not that I’m shocked by that, though.”

Daniel’s surprise changed to satisfaction as he leaned back casually and breathed in his cigarette. “I supposed he wasn’t actually worth it after all.”

The venom in his tone was undeniable and it stoked the flames of anger that had already grown inside me. I huffed and tossed a velvet pillow at his head, groaning as he laughed. “Oh, it’s so funny, isn’t it? What about that woman you slept with behind my back, then? Brenda, or Brandy, or whatever her name was?”

Daniel’s expression changed and he looked away from me. I nodded and it was my turn to laugh. “Oh, I see. Divorcing her soon?”

Daniel put out his cigarette and took a moment. “No. We never married.”

He was uncharacteristically quiet when he said that. He seemed genuinely defeated, truly upset about the situation perhaps. It made me quiet in response, my grin fading. I flicked my cigarette ashes into the tray and took another deep drag.

“I uhh… I left here there. In the church,” Daniel admitted quietly. Something about his tone pulled at my heart in an annoying way.

Why did I feel bad for him?

“I just couldn’t bring myself to do it… with her,”Daniel looked to me then, his blue eyes meeting my (y/ec) ones, and for a moment … I remembered the time when I loved him.

I paused and thought of the night we ended things. The night we caught each other. The look on the girl’s face as she realised who I was. How Daniel looked when he saw me with his best friend. I remembered how it felt when Mark Darcy confessed his feelings for me, and told me that I deserved more than what Daniel was willing to give me. I thought of him at work, late at night so he could afford to buy me nice things and plan the wedding we were to have in a week.

All of it flooded back to me then as I sat nearly naked beside the man who had cheated on me, and whom I had cheated on. And it dawned on me.

“We’re… bad people, aren’t we?”

“The worst.”

We both sighed in unison, sitting with our silence for a few moments. My eyes drifted to Daniel, slowly meeting his again.

And we laughed.

I stood without another word and retrieved my dress, and Daniel did the same with his own clothes. I felt his warm hands on my skin as he helped me zip my dress in the back, careful and gentle like he used to be when we were together. Like when he would help me get dressed to attend his company parties.

A commotion beyond our room broke our quiet moment, startling us both. We took our masks and went to open the door, just as it opened on its own - revealing the bartender.

He grinned at us, a mischievous and entertained expression as he stuck his head into our room. “I do hate to intrude but, the police have arrived.”

Me and Daniel both reacted in unison, gasping. “Police?? What on Earth for?” Daniel asked in shock.

“Well, the drugs, of course. But follow me, I’ll get us out. I know a way.” The bartender responded effortlessly. He disappeared from the room and began to walk in the opposite direction of the main room which had fallen to chaos since we were last in there. Daniel and I rushed to keep up, following close behind as the odd bartender weaved in and out of dark unused hallways walled with bricks.

Eventually, we reached a set of metal doors which the bartender pushed open and walked us onto the street. The cold February winter hit me hard, sending a chill across my body. I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, hearing the police sirens around the corner. Daniel laughed with me, the both of us doubling over in our amusement.

“Oh my god, of course this would happen,” I said when I recovered. I turned to thank the bartender who helped us, but found myself confused when he was nowhere in sight. Daniel was equally as confused, looking up and down the alleyway and street for him, to no avail.

“Strange chap, truly..” Daniel said finally. I nodded in agreement and looked at my mask in my hand. Daniel looked to his own and back to me with a grin.

“We mustn’t tell anyone about what happened here,” I said firmly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Daniel responded. We nodded to each other and tossed our masks against the brick wall behind a few discarded crates. They landed together with a subtle click, falling into the snow quietly. I waved as i walked in the direction of my car, while Daniel went the opposite way down the alley waving as well.

✧─── ⋆⋅ ✧⋅⋆ ───✧

“Other news: police raided a secret party near Old London last night, making several arrests and collecting evidence of various different illicit substances,” The newscaster said sternly on the telly the next morning. I rubbed my eyes sleepily as i poured myself some tea and went to the table beside Mark Darcy who was reading the paper.

I eyed my magazine casually, flipping through the glossy pages as Mark glanced up at the screen for a moment. “My god, how ridiculous. Such frivolous nonsense lead to so many arrests. I would never engage in such debauchery in my life.”

I scoffed out a laugh and looked up to the screen myself. There showed a photo of two bronze masks lying in the snow outside of the building. They were set almost perfectly next to each other, making for a wonderful and ironically pleasing image as the newscaster droned on about the raid.

“Oh I agree completely, dear. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like that.”

✧─── ⋆⋅ ✧⋅⋆ ───✧

Of course, let me know what you think! Sorry to edge you with a short smut scene but part iii will make up for it hopefully. Part ii will hopefully be out by tonight for everyone’s viewing pleasure! And if you’d like to be tagged in the next two parts, just let me know!🫀Happy Valentine’s Day!

✧─── ⋆⋅ ✧⋅⋆ ───✧

Tag List:

@incorporealbombchelle (bc i know you’re gonna want this)

[jelloapocalypse]

Loved the new video!! Very fun watch and so well edited from the criteria section to the ending list itself. I was waiting to see the show at number 1 all video, and I started worrying it may have had some egregious text/credit placement issues I forgot about, and then there it was right at the top lol! I'm always happy to see that show get the praise it deserves, and that entire sequence was so well edited it made it feel even better.

Anyway Im sure an entire new video ranking anime outros would be an insane undertaking, but did it ever come into consideration? I'd be curious to hear if you had any thoughts on how the criteria would differ from the intros, since it doesn't need to entice someone into trying a show they already watched. (This mostly came to mind because of chainsaw man's unique episode outros, but thats a pretty special case)

I'm really happy so many people are having this exact reaction to the #1 pick.

Amy and I decided pretty early in the project that we'd never do this for Anime EDs. I couldn't tell you why, but I just don't care about them nearly as much as openings. I devour OP guessing games but EDs? I sleep. v_v

I think there was something gorgeous about growing up in that golden era of Cartoon Network from like 1999-2005 that really made me love intros. I've always adored them. I love the way they act as bite-sized catchy advertisements to let you know something you like is coming on. I wish we lived in a world where western animation fans were as obsessive about tv openings as anime fans are, it makes me so sad we don't have even 1% as many quizzes as anime fans do. (((ask me about western animated OPs pls pls pls pls pls)))

I tend to watch 98% of openings on any show I check out unless they're really bad. Inversely, I tend to skip EDs unless they're really good. If I'm loving a show and I want to get to the next episode that ED better fuckin' rock if it wants to keep me from hitting the "next" button ASAP. I think the last show I watched EDs for was Bocchi. Love those little dancing guys.

Also, we don't need to do a best anime ED video because everyone knows that #1 is this:

OPs have a variety of factors that determine their quality. Visuals, music, credit placement, theming, jennies, etc.

EDs have an entirely separate grading rubric, and that's the Redraw factor. Namely, "How much does this make a DeviantArt girly from 2009 want to redraw her blorbos in place of the characters in this OP?"

To wit, this is the 2nd best OP:

And as third place, let's say Link Click ED1. This song usually cuts in as a scary "UH OH. CLIFFHANGER! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?!" moment, and it fucks every single time. I have a lot of issues with S2, but the worst one is that this song isn't the ending anymore.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Heey! I hope you're doing well! I would like to request a story about gp Donna having a daughter with a maid who abandoned her when the child was born. Donna raises her daughter alone and homeschool her for most of the part until her daughter tells her that she wants music lessons so Donna asks the duke a piano. The duke being all noisy gets the tea about Donna's daughter wanting music lessons and suggests Donna to hire reader as her teacher, an excellent pianist with good reputation. Both Donna and her daughter (like mother, like daughter) fall in love with reader with Donna's daughter wanting reader to become her other mom (and unlike Donna, her daughter is not that shy and is always complementing reader and dropping hints to her that Donna is very much single).

One afternoon after a lesson Donna listens to reader sing while she plays the piano and is mesmerized by her beautiful voice. Perhaps reader is singing a classical piece like Ave Maria by Schubert and that sort of reminds her of her family before the black gods faith and all that (I suppose it would make sense not to sing about other gods except for the black ones? So that's why gets more enamored with reader, for bringing her back those memories). Anywaysss, Donna with a little help from her daughter confesses to reader, who of course has fallen in love with Donna and her offspring.

welll, I hope that wasn't too much of a request 😅

Have a good day!

Yesss!!! I have to say I loved that request, thank you :D! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))

Rebuilding a broken life

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, a bit of angst, Donna being Donna and a single mother, that's curious :D, G!P Donna (implied), Donna's POV

Word count: 8,709

Summary: I only have my daughter...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open, I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

Sometimes I try to live in the past, to remember what those times were like, when life was much easier. I would have given anything to go back to that moment, to reject Mother Miranda's offer to make me her daughter, a Lord.

But being named Lord, obtaining the divine grace of the Black Gods didn’t illuminate my path, rather, it darkened it. I always lived isolated. I was never interested in people. They were evil, they laughed at me, at my appearance, at my scar. I could consider my transition from villager to Lord a success, since those mocking laughs turned into cries and screams of terror, but, apart from that, nothing else changed.

At least nothing that had to do with my condition as a lonely and isolated woman. The reason for the mockery and for my behavior mutated in an unpleasant way; turning me into something like a deformed monster, as much as Miranda denied it.

The Gods' whim was just a moment of fun, and with me... they went too far. Not only did my eye disappear, not only did they turn me into an unpleasant being. They also played with my body.

I didn't care too much, I got used to it soon, but I didn't know how to get used to loneliness. My solitary life only ended partially. Angie, my doll since I was a child, came to life thanks to my efforts, to my desperation to hear another voice other than those in my head.

It might seem like a positive change, in part it was, but it wasn't what I was looking for by giving myself over to the black claws of the village. Getting out of that spiral of madness and loneliness was my true goal, but things never turn out the way you expect. Neither the new parts of my body, nor my powers, nor my appearance made it change. Madness continued to eat away my brain, the madness that came from an illness that had stalked my family for years.

If you put it all together, a deformed face, a different body, terrifying powers, madness and absolute loneliness, you get a legend, a character from a scary story, you get me: the last Lord, the doll maker, Donna Beneviento.

I stopped aging. I stopped being a baseless legend to become a woman to be feared, respected or even revered. My new siblings seemed to enjoy that change, to exercise power over the rest of the villagers, to inflict terror on them.

I was never interested in that kind of power, the power to get what I wanted when I wanted and the power to never be questioned. I had become so accustomed to my solitude that it became my refuge, a refuge for all eternity.

One day, after my sister Alcina convinced me, I decided to try out what it would be like to live with someone, to hear other different voices in the mansion, and I accepted one of her maids. She was a beautiful girl. Her name was Helga.

It could have been because of the lack of habit, because of my heart's longing to not feel alone, the reasons really didn't matter. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with her. I had never believed in love, I never had the chance to experience what my books talked about. I was eager to do it, to love, to be loved.

Looking back on the past, I now think that maybe I should have thought things better, understand that love is something that happens between two people, and not just for one of them.

Helga accepted my feelings and let herself be loved by a monster like me. In her eyes I could see the lie, the deception. I could see a false smile when she heard me say: I love you. I didn't give it any importance, she had to love me.

Of course I let myself be carried away by my clumsy feelings, by my erratic heart. I took that girl. I made her mine when I wanted, when I needed. I thought everything would change from that moment on, and I was right.

I wasn’t careful when I claimed her body as mine, and there were consequences. After a few months with the illusion of living a romance, it happened, I got her pregnant. I never thought about having a family, about starting one.

I had to get used to the idea of ​​having a baby with someone who, deep down, I knew didn’t love me, but seeing my child grow in her womb mesmerized me too much. After a few months, that child came into the world, a beautiful girl, Maria Beneviento.

I came to think that I couldn’t be happier. I had a beautiful girl, a young maid at my side, everything was perfect, but, again, it was just an illusion. I remember the blizzard of that night, that terrible night.

“Shh, ti prego non piangere, tesoro…” I whispered while cradling the newborn, who wouldn't stop crying. “Oh, hai fame, vero?” I said, getting up to look for Helga, who, she told me, needed to rest.

I couldn't blame her. It had only been a week since the girl was born and she was exhausted.

I walked through the house with the girl in my arms. Poor thing, she was crying inconsolably. I looked for Helga in her room, the one she never wanted to leave. I will never be able to get over what I found.

The room was empty, there was no one there. I looked for her, but she was gone. In the baby's crib there was a note, a damn note that I burned in the fire, and whose words still burn in my heart.

I can't stand it anymore.

Everything I did, I did because I was afraid, because you scared me.

I can't stand having given my life to a monster like you, having a baby who will soon become a monster too.

I can't stay with you. I can't look my daughter in the face, a daughter I never wanted.

I never loved you, and I never will.

I'm leaving, Donna, I'm leaving forever. I wish I could have taken that innocent baby with me, but you terrify me, I know what you'll do to me.

I screamed, I cried, I hit everything within my reach. I couldn't believe those words and at the same time it seemed like I had read them somewhere else, perhaps in her sad and complacent gaze.

Without thinking twice, furious, with my daughter in my arms, I went out to look for her. It was a dark night and the snow didn't stop falling. I called out to her, I threatened her, but it was too late.

On the snowy ground there were footprints, her footprints. Desperate, I followed them, followed them until... they disappeared, they disappeared at the edge of a cliff.

Surely that stupid girl didn't know how dangerous my land was, how dangerous it was to go out at night in the middle of a blizzard.

She would never come back, she abandoned me forever, she abandoned us.

I might have thought that I had the consolation of still having my daughter, that my baby hadn't fallen into the void with her mother, but I didn't see it that way. My soul was broken in two, my heart was crushed mercilessly. That girl left me alone with my daughter, that girl never loved me.

I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my daughter in my arms, I don't know what the consequences would have been. I spent days complaining, even though I barely had time. I was left alone, my daughter too. Helga abandoned me, but Maria was still with me. She was a newborn baby, she needed me.

Pain, suffering... at first that was what I felt when I had to take care of my daughter alone. I never knew how to do it well. I was overwhelmed several times, desperate. Then I realized what I had to do, my responsibility. I had to take care of my little girl; it didn't matter if I had to do it by myself. I had no other option.

Luckily, I managed to get used to the situation, and move on.

The years went by and my little Maria grew up, perhaps faster than I would have liked. She was a girl... well, a bit strange girl. Physically she was exactly like me, but... her personality was not similar at all.

Maria was intelligent, extremely intelligent. She was a happy, funny, outgoing and obedient child. I like to think that I was a good mother to her, although that wasn't the case.

From a very young age she had to put up with my madness. Dealing with a sick mother like me, without having anyone else (apart from Angie, of course), must have been hard for her, but she never showed it.

Eight years after that fateful night, my daughter and I lived peacefully. She knew me and understood me, and I loved her madly.

I knocked on the girl's bedroom door slowly, as it was a reasonable hour to sleep.

“Come in,” my daughter said, in a sweet voice, as always.

“Maria, it's time to sleep,” I said softly.

The girl, lying in bed, looked at me over the book she was reading with Angie, and made a gesture of silence. I couldn't help but smile and obeyed her request, slowly approaching and sitting on the mattress.

“Cinque minuti,” she whispered in an intriguing voice, turning a page. “Mamma, they've killed Dumbledore…”

“Oh,” I sighed with a tender smile, watching Maria devour the book.

“I told you Snape was a traitor from the start! I told you!” Angie shrieked, pointing at the book with her wooden hand.

“Angie, don't shout,” I told the doll, who relaxed her attitude.

“It's true, you were right, Angie,” Maria said, nodding to the doll, who laughed in satisfaction.

The little girl closed the book with a sigh of suspense and left it on the table, passing a hand over her forehead.

“Wow... it was interesting,” she said, letting me get a little closer and cover her with the sheets. “I can't wait to see what happens,” she said rubbing her hands.

“Mm,” I murmured with my eyebrow raised, arranging my daughter's hair, a gesture she liked less and less.

“Mamma…” she protested amused. “I'm not a child anymore.”

“Aren’t you? So, what are you?” I asked with the same mocking tone.

“Mm…” she murmured thoughtfully, looking at the ceiling. “An impending pre-teenager.”

I laughed, shaking my head at my daughter's bold responses. I definitely don't know where she got that audacity from. It couldn't be from me… maybe from Angie?

“Excuse me, my impending teenager,” I joked, making sure the girl was well protected from the cold.

“Um, mamma…” Maria murmured nervously, attracting my attention, when I was about to leave. “Can I talk to you?”

“Va bene,” I answered frowning and sitting back down. “What's wrong, tesoro?”

“I was just wondering…” she said, without looking at me directly, thoughtful. “Mamma… Who was my mother?”

The smile immediately faded from my face and memories appeared to haunt my wounded mind. I had to make a great effort to control my nerves. I didn't want to lose my mind in front of my daughter, not again.

“Maria, what's that question about?” I said nervously, with a cold tone.

“Well…” Maria said, sitting on the bed while scratching the back of her neck. “I have a good memory. I remember I asked you when I was… I think I was 4 years old. You told me I was too young to know.”

“Mm, certo,” I said blinking erratically.

“But I'm not so young anymore,” my daughter said, with an expectant look. “Per favore, mamma, tell me what she was like,”

I sighed, undecided, but motivated by her bright eyes, identical to mine.

“W-Well… y-you…” I stammered, trying hard not to let my voice get stuck, something complicated. “Your mother was… her name was Helga and… she was my maid.”

The girl nodded curiously, barely blinking.

“She was very beautiful,” I whispered, remembering that treacherous look.

“What happened to her?” she asked impatiently.

“Um… she left, she abandoned us shortly after you were born,” I said, knowing there was no point in lying to her. That girl was devilishly smart, she would find out sooner or later.

“She left you alone with a baby? Wow, she wasn't a good person then,” the girl whispered. “Do you think I'll ever get to meet her?”

“No, I'm afraid… she's gone,” I murmured, shaking my head and holding back a tear.

“Oh, well… thanks for telling me,” Maria said with an indifferent voice, opening the drawer of her nightstand and taking out a paper and a pen. “Yes, it’s progressing…”

“Mm?” I murmured curiously, trying to see what was on that sheet of paper, on which Maria seemed to cross something out. “Cos’è questo, Maria?” I asked, tilting my head to try to make out something.

“Questo?” she said, showing me the paper. I nodded slowly, studying those phrases that were written on it. “Oh, it’s nothing… just a wish list.”

“A wish list?” I asked curious and amused, trying to bury the memory of her mother, so her words wouldn’t penetrate my mind, and destroy it again.

“Well, I'm already 8,” she explained with that knowing tone I adored. “Soon I'll reach adolescence and lose my mind, you know, hormones…” she said with a passive voice and an amused gesture. “Before that happens and my head starts to think about stupid boys, I would like to do some things.”

“Mm, you're cautious,” I commented, surprised, as always, by her intelligence. “Can I take a look?” I asked, extending a hand towards the paper, paper that Maria handed me, nodding and shrugging.

Yes, it was a list, the wish list of an eight-year-old girl. Some things were crossed out, the most recent was:

Meet my mother

I sighed somewhat sadly knowing that she would never do it, but I continued reading, hoping to distract myself enough with the girl thoughts and ambitions.

“Maria…” I whispered, looking at the girl with a frown and pointing at one of the phrases. “To have a sibling?” I asked with a trembling voice.

“Yes,” my girl nodded, with an innocent smile. “I think it would be really cool to have one,” she said without caring about the impossibility that it entailed. “Don't be offended, Angie.”

“More minions? I like how it sounds,” the doll said, with an amused gesture.

“I'm afraid that wish is impossible, tesoro,” I said with a low voice, with a sad look.

I could never, ever fall in love again, not after what happened the first time I did.

“No, it's not impossible,” Maria protested, leaning towards me and reading her phrases. “Look, mamma, if this one here comes true, it would be possible.”

I looked at where her finger was pointing, and I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry in despair.

Mamma stops being alone

I read it several times, glancing at the girl and hiding the trembling in my hands.

“Maria…”  I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Y-You should think of another wish.”

“No, they are my wishes, you can't influence them,” the girl said, crossing her arms. “You just have to read them, not judge them.”

“Va bene, you're right,” I said, briefly pinching her cheek, something that made her laugh embarrassedly. “Mm, learn to play the piano?” I asked, reading more of her wishes. “Do you want to learn to play the piano?”

“Oh, yes, do you remember the day we went to see Aunt Alcina at the castle?” she asked, coming closer, she seemed excited.

“Yes, of course I remember,” I answered, looking at my daughter curiously. “You mean the maid who played you a birthday song, right?”

“Well…” the girl sighed, rolling her eyes. “The song was childish and squeaky, but the sound of that piano… it was beautiful, so I decided to learn… but… we don't have a piano,” she said in a much lower voice, looking away, as she always did when she wanted to ask me for something.

“Actually we have one in the basement,” I said. “You could learn on it.”

“Mamma, that's not exactly a piano,” my daughter said in an innocent tone, biting her lip. “I want a real one, a piano as cool as the one in the castle.”

“You want a piano,” I murmured, arching my eyebrow. “Do you want me to buy a piano, Maria? Is that what you're trying to ask me?”

“Well… I wouldn't say no if you do,” she said amused, with her eyes wide open. “I know my birthday has passed and…”

“Cut the crap,” I said amused, shaking my head. “Well… I guess it’s something much more feasible than some of your wishes.”

“Does that mean you’ll do it? Will you buy me a piano?” the girl asked, standing up on the bed, excited again.

I looked at her tenderly and thought for a moment. I could never deny my little girl anything, I never would.

“If you behave,” I said amused, pointing at her with my finger before she jumped into my arms.

“Great! Grazie di cuore, mamma, you’re the best, the best!” Maria yelled enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around me and giving me a tender hug that I always appreciated, that told me I would never be alone, I would always have my daughter.

“Okay, okay, tesoro,” I said, overwhelmed by her affectionate kisses, gently patting her back. “But you’ll have to be consistent and learn to play wonderfully, mm?”

“Certo, I have to read more books,” my daughter said, moving away and letting herself fall on the bed, with a hand on her chin, thoughtful. “Now go, I have to think,” she said with a concentrated expression. “Where could we put it, Angie?”

“Well, you better go to sleep,” I said, laughing tenderly, giving her a kiss on the forehead and looking at the doll coldly, telling Angie with my eyes not to bother Maria and let her rest, something almost impossible.

“Mamma,” Maria called me, before I went out the door. “Ti voglio bene”

“Anch’io, tesoro… Anch’io…” I whispered, closing the door slowly.

Maria was not a capricious child, even though I always did whatever she wants to see her happy. I will always be surprised by her ability to educate practically by herself, taking advantage of my absences, my crises, to fill her mind with knowledge.

Sometimes I regretted having had a maid, but I changed my mind when I saw my little girl. She was the most important thing to me, and that would always be the case.

If Maria wanted a piano, she would have a piano, without a doubt.

The next day I took advantage of the Duke's weekly visit to make the request. I still find it hard to believe how different Maria is, how little she resembles my withdrawn and shy personality…

“Hello, Duke,” Maria said, waving her hand politely with a mocking smile.

I was standing next to her, with my face covered with the veil and the Angie doll in my arms. No matter how well that horrible man treated my little girl, I never trusted him.

“Miss Beneviento, you look well,” the merchant murmured, handing me the things I needed for the week. “Lady Beneviento…”

“Hi, fatty,” Angie said, moving in my arms. “How are you?”

“Great,” he replied, counting the coins I threw at him in an unpleasant manner. “What do you say, Miss? Did you manage to solve last week's riddle?” he asked, looking at my daughter with a sinister smile.

“Of course,” the girl answered, with a smug smile. “The answer is the Sun,” she said, lifting her chin. “Although… there was something wrong with the riddle. Yes, normally the sun rises and sets, but… did you know that there are certain areas of the world where it doesn't rise or set for several months?”

“Oh, I guess I forgot that detail,” the man said, laughing amused at the girl's words. “You got it right again…”

“As always,” Maria said, making a gesture to play it down.

“Come on, we want to see that chocolate bar,” Angie demanded, climbing into Maria's arms while I watched in silence.

“Here you go, Miss…” the Duke sighed amusedly tossing a sweet to the girl, one that she caught gracefully. “I hope I don't make it so easy for you next time.”

“Grazie,” the kid said, kindly. “Mamma, tell him, tell him,” she said, tugging at my dress, somewhat impatiently.

I looked at her and gestured for Angie to come closer.

“That's it, Duke, we want a piano,” I said, speaking through the doll.

“A piano?” the man asked, taking out a small notebook.

“Yes, yes, a piano,” Maria said, jumping on the ground. “I'm going to learn to play it.”

“Oh, that's wonderful, Miss, music is the voice of the soul,” the Duke said, writing something down. “Is an upright piano okay?”

I looked at my daughter, who did the same, nodding.

“Yes, okay,” she said, smiling with satisfaction.

“For your sake, fatso, fatso, I hope you don't fool us,” Angie said, climbing up the carriage and looking at the merchant in a menacing manner. “A nice piano for Maria, is that clear?”

“Like water, Miss Angie,” he said, amused, gesturing for the doll to move away. “Tell me, how do you plan to learn?”

“Well... By myself, I guess, Donna doesn’t know to play it,” my daughter said, making me look at her embarrassed. “Don't be offended, mamma.”

“I see,” the Duke said, looking at me with a mocking smile. “It turns out that I know someone. There is a girl in the village who is an excellent pianist, perhaps, Lady Beneviento, it would be good for your daughter if she gave the little Miss some lessons.”

“A piano teacher?” Maria asked, while I pondered the offer. “That would be great, mamma, say yes, say yes…”

“I don't know, tesoro… I don't like people coming to the house,” I murmured, putting myself at the height of the girl, who made a sad gesture.

“Please…” my daughter begged, putting her hands together.

“Please, please…” Angie said, imitating her gesture.

“Ugh,” I sighed, looking at the Duke, who was impatiently waiting for my answer.

“Well? I promise you won't regret it, my lady,” the merchant said, studying my movements. “I'm convinced that she will get along very well with your offspring.”

“Oh, I…” I muttered, gesturing to Angie, giving up. “Okay,” the doll said, speaking in my voice.

After a few days, the piano arrived at the mansion and, with the unpleasant help of some lycans, I managed to find a suitable place for it. Maria was very excited, but I, not so much. The idea of ​​a gossipy villager entering my house… talking to my little girl… I didn't like it, but just seeing Maria's shining eyes, I got used to it.

“Here she is!” the girl shrieked, running towards the door, which someone had knocked on. It was that disgusting teacher, no doubt. “Vai, mamma!”

“I'm coming,” I said in a whisper, putting on my veil and approaching the door, opening it slowly.

I was expecting to find an old woman, a petulant old woman who was no longer in her prime, but I was petrified. Behind the door, there was a rather young woman, smiling and… beautiful, terribly beautiful.

“H-Hello,” the young woman said, waking me from a reverie. I wasn’t expecting someone like that. “It’s an honor to meet you, Lady Beneviento.”

“Are you the teacher?” Angie asked, speaking for me, uncomfortably studying the girl, who seemed scared by her presence. I don’t blame her.

“Yes, my name is (Y/N),” she said, extending her hand towards me, a hand that I briefly looked at, but didn’t shake, making her withdraw it awkwardly. “Um… well… so you want to learn to play the piano, right?”

“No,” I said with my hoarse voice, while my daughter came out from behind me, looking with the same surprise as me at that girl. “Not me.”

“Hello,” Maria said, with an elegant gesture. “I'm Maria Beneviento, and I'm your new student,” she said with an amused smile, shaking her hand, something I couldn't do.

“Oh, wow, I didn't know that... that it was you,” the young woman said, looking at me and then at the girl, making a small, friendly bow “I thought I was going to teach you, Lady Beneviento.”

“No, my mother doesn't have a clue about music, she only knows how to make dolls,” the girl said, amused, causing me to give her a gentle slap on the shoulder as a reprimand. “Oh, but she makes them very well, I promise.”

“Your mother? You mean...? Are you her daughter?” the pianist asked, looking at me with a frown and a bewildered expression.

“Yes, of course,” the little girl said, guiding the visitor through the house. “Don't you see how much we look alike?” she asked, pointing to the portrait on the stairs.

“Oh, um… is that you?” (Y/N) asked, looking at me and pointing at the portrait. I didn't move, nor did I say a single word, obviously. “W-Wow, your really look alike, you're like two peas in a pod.”

“Isn't that right?” Maria laughed, taking the stranger's hand and leading her into the living room. “This way, (Y/N)”

“I-It's funny. I didn’t know you had a daughter, my lady,” the young woman said, walking towards the piano next to my little girl, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, distrustful.

“Mm,” I murmured, not giving importance to her comment, approaching Maria. “Tesoro, I'm going to the workshop, Angie will stay with you, if something happens…”

“Mamma… non preocuparti,” Maria said, sitting on the stool in front of the piano, next to that unknown girl.

“Va bene,” I whispered, giving one last look to the young woman, who did the same quickly. I could see the fear in her eyes.

Reluctant, but with no other choice, I left them alone.

It must have been an entertaining afternoon, since Angie didn't warn me of any danger, but she did when that girl was about to leave.

“Grazie, (Y/N), see you tomorrow,” Maria said, waving her hand goodbye, while I, suspicious, walked with the young woman to the door.

“Your daughter is very talented, my lady,” (Y/N) commented, before leaving through the door.

“Mm,” I murmured in an impatient tone, wishing she would leave at once.

“Well, she has to practice, but I think she can be a great pianist if she puts her mind to it,” the young woman said, with no intention of leaving. “It's unbelievable that she's just eight years old, she's very intelligent.”

“I know that already,” I whispered impatiently, handing her a bag of coins.

“Oh, um, thanks,” she said, putting them in her purse. “I was surprised that you had a daughter… well, in the village we never…”

“I know,” I cut her words off abruptly, with a tired sigh. “No one has to know about my life.”

“Yes, well, I understand,” she said, scratching the back of her neck. “Forgive my indiscretion, I know it's none of my business but… What about her father?”

The Angie doll, who was listening next to me, began to laugh outrageously, drawing our attention.

“Stupid,” Angie said, pointing at the girl with her finger and pretending to laugh loudly. “You're so stupid… Donna is Maria's mother, get it? She's her mother, she impregnated a maid and…”

“Angie…” I hissed nervously.

“What?” the pianist asked, looking at me and speaking in a small voice when she realized her mistake.

I, nervous and embarrassed, clenched my fists tightly on both sides of my hips.

“Oh, shit, I mean… I understand, oh, I… w-well, I had heard rumors but they seemed… I mean, it's okay, well, there's a huge woman, a fish man… it's not that I find it strange or anything like that, I mean…” she said nervously, not knowing where to run.

I crossed my arms furiously, wanting to make her live the worst of her nightmares, but then I thought of Maria and I restrained myself.

“Shut up,” I demanded with a firm tone. “I advise you to stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong,” I threatened walking a step towards her, making the girl back off.

“I'm sorry. It's just that…” she said, visibly nervous, refusing to look at my face.

“Does my Donna's penis disgust you, silly?” Angie said, making me burn with rage.

“Angie! Taci, taci, taci!” I screamed furiously, kicking the floor. The piano played in the background, Maria was oblivious to the conversation, fortunately.

“What? Oh, no, no, not at all… I have no problem with that,” the pianist said, putting her hands in a position of surrender. “B-besides, I'm just your daughter's piano teacher, I have no intention of snooping in your… business. I was just… I was just curious.”

“Curiosity…” I began in a dark tone, making it clear to that stupid village girl what her place was.

“Killed the cat, I know,” she finished, with a nervous smile. “I just want to say that, well, that… your daughter is great.”

“Mm,” I growled, looking away and closing the door in her face. “Cazzo, Angie…”

The doll, realizing that she had given too much information, ran off towards Maria, who was playing the keys, surely putting into practice what she had learned.

“Look, mamma, I know the scale,” the girl said, gesturing for me to come closer as she softly played the piano.

“Meraviglioso, Maria,” I sighed, relaxing with the soft sound of the instrument.

“So… what do you think?” my daughter murmured, looking at the floor. “About (Y/N).”

“(Y/N)?” I asked annoyed, sighing as I took off my veil. “She's just some ordinary village girl.”

“No, not at all. She's great, she's super smart, and she plays really well, and she's also really beautiful, don't you think, mamma?” Maria said, following me through the mansion.

“Mm, maybe she is,” I commented distractedly. She was right, that girl was very beautiful… but a nuisance too. “Your lessons, Maria, don't forget them,” I said in a motherly tone, pointing to her study books.

The visits from that unpleasant girl continued. Maria learned a lot from (Y/N), although I didn't like to admit it. Little by little I got used to the presence of that nosy villager, maybe too much, since, from time to time, I came up from the workshop to see how she taught my daughter.

They seemed to get along really well, and every day her beauty was much more evident to me, but I didn't give it any importance, she was still an idiot.

“That's it, you learn very quickly Maria,” (Y/N) said as I approached slowly. “It's noticeable that you practice a lot.”

“Of course I do, so I don't forget,” the little girl said, swinging her legs on the stool.

“Um, Maria… I'd like to ask you something,” the teacher whispered, looking around, probably afraid that I would appear.

That made me back off and hide in the shadows. I wanted to hear what that stupid girl was saying about me, I was sure she would say something about me.

“Va bene,” my daughter said, distracted, touching the keys.

“Hey, your mother…” the young woman murmured, attracting my attention even more. “Your mother is a bit scary, isn't she?”

“Mamma Donna?” Maria asked and shook her head. “Not at all, are you scared of my mamma?”

“Um, well,” the girl said, with a nervous smile. “She's a Lord and… well, in the village everyone fears her.”

“Bah, nonsense,” my daughter said, gesturing with her hand. “That's because they don't know her. Donna is nice.”

“Really? Does she take good care of you?” she asked in a more confident tone, something that made me burn with rage.

How could that stupid woman question my way of taking care of my daughter?

“Oh, yes, she is very intelligent, she teaches me many things,” Maria said, making me sigh with relief.

“Um… what about your other mother? Don't you miss her?” (Y/N) asked, making me want to end her existence.

“Not really,” the girl said, lowering her head. “I never got to know her. Mamma Donna told me that she was her maid and that she… abandoned us.”

“Chiudi il becco…” I muttered in a whisper. “Maledizione…”

“Gods, that’s… horrible,” the young woman said, changing her expression.

“Well, it's the past. Donna took care of me and raised me by herself, and I assure you that it must not be easy to do that, and even more so with a daughter like me,” Maria said amused. “I don't usually give her any trouble, but… she has to put up with me.”

“Mm, I see,” (Y/N) said, tenderly stroking Maria's hair. “I see that I was wrong about her, I'm sorry for doubting your mother.”

“It doesn't matter,” Maria said, putting on a strange expression. “People say horrible things about her, but I know they're lies. My mamma is mentally ill, but that doesn't mean she's not a good person, she really is.”

“Yes, I see,” the pianist said, looking back, without seeing me. “If you say so, I believe you…”

“Forgive her if she was abrupt with you,” my daughter said, apologizing for my aggressive attitude. “She's just very lonely. I'm convinced that her character will improve when she meets someone.”

“Mm, maybe, but being alone isn't that bad, you know? I am too,” the young woman said.

“Oh, really?” the little girl asked. “That's interesting…” she murmured, with a tone that forced me to intervene. “Wouldn't you like to meet someone?”

“Well, I…”

“Ahem,” I cleared my throat, walking nervously towards them. (Y/N) looked at me briefly, immediately lowering her head. “It's time, isn't it?”

“Mm, sì, mamma,” Maria said, getting off the stool.

The young pianist stood up with a friendly gesture.

“Your daughter has been great, as always, my lady,” the young woman said, not daring to look at me. “It's a pleasure to teach her.”

“You don't have to be that formal. You can call her Donna, vero, mamma? Maria said, with a slightly strange voice.

“I guess,” I said reluctantly, making the girl laugh nervously.

“W-Well, Donna then,” (Y/N) whispered, with a shy laugh.

“Mamma, do you know that (Y/N) is also alone? What a coincidence, huh?” the girl asked, comically tugging at my dress, putting the stupid villager in a tight spot.

“Maria,” I said in a dark voice. I didn't know why, but that comment made me blush.

“Don't worry, Donna, your daughter is adorable, she just says what she thinks,” the young woman said, picking up the scores.

“Ma, mamma, are you going to let her go?” Maria insisted, making me very nervous. “You should be nice and invite her to tea. She’s been coming here for almost a month.”

“Maria…” I hissed nervously, while (Y/N) laughed again, shaking her head. “Stop annoying her, I’m sure she’ll have better things to do.”

“T-Truth be told,” the pianist said, arching her eyebrows. “I could use some tea, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“Ugh, okay,” I muttered, threatening with my daughter my gaze making her fled with Angie.

That was the beginning of a strange routine. After piano lessons, (Y/N) started to stay with us for a while, having tea, helping Maria with her homework…

Over time, I couldn't say that that stupid girl started to catch my attention, but I did stop thinking that she was... well, stupid. She was a kind, funny girl, who made Maria and Angie laugh, and she was kind to me, kinder than anyone ever was, no one, not even Helga.

I couldn't help but notice a certain conspiracy in my little girl's words and actions, hinting several times at how lonely her poor mother was when I wasn't around, or telling me directly that (Y/N) was single too.

I couldn't blame her for wanting to have what she never had, for wanting another mother, but... it was simply impossible, it would never be possible, although deep down, that pianist girl caught my attention more than I would like to admit.

“Well, I better go, thank you very much for the tea, Donna,” (Y/N) said, after an afternoon of games with Angie and the girl, something of which I was only a spectator. “See you tomorrow, huh, girls?” she said amused, high-fiving Maria and Angie.

“Hey, but it's really late,” my daughter commented, looking out the window. “Hey, (Y/N), why don't you stay for dinner?”

“Oh, for dinner?” the young woman asked blinking and looking for an answer in me. “W-well, I…”

“Don't listen to her,” I said quickly, putting a warning hand on Maria's shoulder.

“Mamma,” the little girl protested, breaking away from my grip while (Y/N) smiled, picking up her coat. “I'm trying to help you.”

“Who asked you for help, brat? Basta,” I hissed sternly but nervously.

“Well… it's true that it's late,” (Y/N) said, oblivious to my reprimands, looking at me shyly. “Maybe it's not a bad idea.”

“Of course it’s not,” Maria said, freeing from my reprimand and taking the young pianist by the hand. “Come, sit down, did you know that la mia mamma cooks like an angel? You'll see.”

“Maria!” I growled, clenching my fists. “What are you...?”

“Show her that what I say is true, vai, Donna,” my daughter said, pushing me by the legs.

I had no choice but to obey, going down to the kitchen to prepare that improvised dinner.

“Mm, where's Maria?” I asked dryly, leaving the food on the table, a table that was only occupied by (Y/N), who looked at me amused, shrugging.

“She told me that she wasn’t hungry and she wanted to leave us alone, you know, so that we could talk about adult stuff.”

“Oh, questa bambina…” I lamented, understanding her intentions.

“I think she's set us up, hasn't she?” the young woman joked, while I, exhausted, served her some wine.

“I'm sorry, I don't know what she was thinking,” I said, apologizing for Maria's behavior. Oh, yes, that girl would get a deserved scolding.

“It doesn't matter, it might be good to get to know each other a bit better,” (Y/N) commented. “Um…” she said, frowning as she saw how, clumsily, I handled my black veil to eat. “Um… Donna, that's not necessary. You don't need it, you can trust me.”

“You'll get scared,” I said nervously, paralyzed.

“No, I won't,” she said, with a lower voice, somewhat trembling.

It was absurd to continue with that nonsense, the best thing would be to scare that stupid girl away so she never came back and stopped… constantly sneaking into my thoughts. With a slow gesture I took off my veil, refusing to see her expression.

“Mm, wow…” the young woman sighed, with a smile that I couldn't interpret. “It's true, you two are exactly the same.”

“Don't pretend. You know I'm horrible,” I said, gripping the fork tightly.

“No, you're not… Let's see… what have you prepared for me?” the girl said, ignoring my hisses and taking a look at the dinner. “Everything looks great.”

“Pici all'amatriciana,” I murmured distrustfully.

“Oh, well, let's check if it's as good as it looks,” she said, rubbing her hands and starting to eat, without erasing that smile from her face.

At first it was a tense, silent dinner, only interrupted by (Y/N)'s praises. Everything seemed wonderful and perfect to her, even… even my face. Little by little, I suppose thanks to the wine, the conversation began to flow naturally. It seemed unlikely, but that girl and I had a lot in common and we even… we even laughed, laughed a lot.

I realized why Maria was so obsessed with her. She was a wonderful girl, kind, funny… and terribly beautiful too.

“I had a great time,” the young woman said with a tender smile as I walked with her to the door. “Really.”

“Yes, um… me too, (Y/N),” I said in a low voice, with a strange blush on my cheeks.

“You know what? I think I now understand your daughter’s insistence on me getting to know you,” she commented distractedly, looking at the floor, turning her ankle on it. “You are a very special woman, Donna.”

“Yes, special is the word,” I said suspiciously, crossing my arms.

The girl laughed, shaking her head and putting a hand on my arm.

“No, what I mean is that… well, I don't regret having gotten to know you,” she whispered in a low voice, leaving behind her words, an awkward moment of silence.

“M-Me neither,” I stammered unintentionally, smiling genuinely.

“See you,” the girl said, removing her hand from my arm with a tender smile, suddenly stepping back. “Oh, bye girls,” she said, waving her hand and looking upstairs, where Angie and Maria were discreetly spying.

“Ciao!” they said in unison when I closed the door, sighing and glancing sideways at my daughter and the doll.

“Cazzo…” I hissed, quickly climbing the stairs while those two mischievous girls fled to their room. “Hey, you two!”

“Oh, mamma, I was going to sleep,” Maria said, putting on her pajamas in a hurry.

“No, young lady, what were you thinking?” I asked, annoyed by the trick, with my hands on my hips. “Who taught you to conspire like that?”

“Um…” the girl murmured, looking unintentionally at Angie, who hid under the sheets. “I only did it for you, mamma, so that you are not alone anymore.”

“Oh, cavolo…” I lamented, with a hand on my forehead. “Maria, tesoro, you don't have to decide those things for me, do you hear me? They are adults’ matters.”

“I know but… I think you two get along wonderfully,” the girl said with an almost pleading voice. “And you two are alone…”

“Maria…”

“Besides, dinner was a complete success, you even took off your veil,” she said with an amused smile, climbing into bed while I reluctantly tucked her in. “Although you have to improve your conversation, you're very clumsy, mamma.”

“That I’m…?” I asked, feigning offense. “Well, it doesn't matter.”

“Don't you like (Y/N)? Not even a little?” Maria asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing her eyes.

“Um, I… W-Well I… yes, I like her,” I admitted embarrassed, with a sob. “But tesoro, that's not…”

“She likes you, she speaks very well of you,” she sighed, exhausted, closing her eyes. “Mamma.”

“Mm?”

“If I could go back in time and choose… I would like (Y/N) to be my other mother…” she said in a sleepy whisper, without really being aware she had said it.

I sighed, moved by her words and approached to kiss her on the forehead, thoughtful.

“Mm, I'm not surprised that you want it, tesoro... (Y/N) is... wonderful.”

Admitting that I had feelings for (Y/N) took me longer than I thought, but I couldn't help it. Without wanting to, knowing that there would never be another chance to feel love, to believe in it, I did it, I fell in love with her, madly.

Dinners were common, laughter, too. Sometimes we were alone and sometimes Angie and Maria accompanied us, making the laughter increase more and more. I began to wish for those visits, to get sad when that girl left. There was tension between us, I could notice it, I could notice her bright gaze in mine, silent pauses in which neither of us knew what to say.

Too much pressure and I was too much of a coward.

“You have to do it, mamma,” my little girl told me, while I waited for (Y/N) to arrive, walking around the living room and shaking my head.

“I can't do it…” I sighed, rejecting her proposition again.

“If you don't tell (Y/N) how you feel about her, she'll never know, imagine if she meets someone,” the girl said walking exactly like me.

“It's not that easy, Maria, you'll realize when you're older,” I said in a dark, nervous voice.

“I don't want to lose the opportunity to have another mom just because you're a coward!” the girl protested, nervous, impatient.

I turned around abruptly, gritting my teeth and crouching down next to my daughter, grabbing her by the collar of her dress.

“You think I don't know!? Huh?” I screamed furiously while my daughter, scared, covered herself with her hands.

“Mamma,” she said trembling, making me react.

“Gods… tesoro, I'm sorry,” I said, placing her dress and caressing her cheek.

Maria nodded slowly, comforting my nerves with a tender hug.

“I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to tell her that… that I love her,” I murmured, with the girl's warm hands in mine, controlling my madness.

“Calm down, mamma, I'll think of something,” she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek and going to the door, since (Y/N) had already arrived.

The smiles danced between us again. I had long since gotten used to staying in the living room while (Y/N) taught Maria, to watch her fingers caress the keys, to see her beautiful and tender face, the incredibly sweet way she treated my baby…

“Well, very well, mate,” (Y/N )said when Maria showed her what she had learned. “I think we can move on to something more complicated.”

“Yeah, hey, (Y/N),” Maria said, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. “I thought… I've never heard you play… you know, a whole song. I'm sure my mamma would really like to hear you.”

“Would her?” the young woman asked, looking at me with blushing cheeks.

I looked at her and nodded slowly, tilting my head.

“Mm, okay, well… let me see…” the girl said, searching through her folder of music. “Let's see… Oh, what do you think of this one? It has your name on it,” (Y/N) said, handing a sheet to my daughter, who looked at it carefully.

“Oh, yeah, this one is perfect,” Maria said with wide eyes, looking at me over the paper with a knowing smile.

“Ahem, well…” (Y/N) coughed as Maria stood up to sit next to me.

“Di niente,” my daughter whispered with a discreet clearing of the throat, making me frown.

“Cosa?” I asked, silenced by a nudge.

“Shh… ascolta, mamma.”

The music started to play, and I recognized it immediately.

“Ave Maria…”  (Y/N) began to sing, letting me discover her beautiful voice, the most beautiful I had ever heard. “Gratia plena… Ave, ave Dominus…”

My mind immediately transported itself to several decades ago, before Mother Miranda, before the Black Gods, when I was just a girl, a tormented girl. Yes, I remembered those times when villagers were allowed to profess the faith they chose as long as they lived with the dark deities.

They were difficult times, but nothing compared to my current life.

I remember my family singing that song at Christmas, on special occasions. My mother, my father, my little sister, my grandparents… all of us together, like a vision of what once was and never came back.

I couldn't help but let a tear run down my face as I remembered, as I imagined what would have become of me if Miranda had never been so ambitious, if my life hadn't changed, if my body hadn't changed and Maria had never been born.

No, Maria wasn't a mistake, she was the best thing that ever happened to me, my little laughing baby who wondered where her mother was, what had happened to her.

I regret many things, my little Maria, but not having you as a daughter.

I remembered those sleepless nights with inconsolable cries, I remember losing my nerves, my mind, and I remembered… I remembered how I rocked my little Maria, how I sang to her to make her fall asleep in my arms, how I sang that song to her, that Ave Maria, by Schubert…

Damn clever girl, she knew it, she knew that the melody, those words in Latin would touch my soul. I'm proud of you, tesoro.

Slowly, unable to move voluntarily, I got up from the couch while (Y/N) played and sang, approaching her, sitting next to her on the stool. She looked at me, still singing, but smiling.

I looked at the keys, bringing my hand closer to them and looking for a sign to continue. The young woman nodded, with a tender smile.

“Nunc et in hora mortis…” we sang at the same time while playing the keys. It had been a long time since I had done it. “Et in hora mortis nostrae… Ave… Maria…”

“Great!” Maria said, clapping enthusiastically along with Angie.

I paid no attention to her, my eye were fixed on (Y/N)'s and hers on mine.

“Wow, Maria told me you didn't know how to play it,” she whispered after a tense moment, without moving from my uncomfortable proximity.

“W-Well, I don't know as much as you… I'm quite rusty,” I said with a honeyed, but nervous voice.

“Angie, let's go,” Maria said, looking at me and winking, taking the doll's hand that was protesting in a childish way.

“I-I used to sing this to Maria as a lullaby,” I said, daring to break that silence. “It brings back memories to me.”

“It must have been very difficult to raise a girl on your own, right?” (Y/N) commented, playing nervously with her hands.

“Yes, it was but… it was worth it,” I said with a smile, looking at the corner where Maria ran off to.

“Yes, of course, she's an amazing girl, Donna,” the young woman said, looking away.

“Yes, I… (Y/N) I…” I stammered, with a cold sweat running down my forehead, hitting the keys unintentionally. “I'm sorry, I… I want to tell you that… when you're here I… I feel, I feel like smiling again, and seeing you leave… It makes me sad.”

The girl laughed embarrassed, lowering her gaze but letting me continue and gain enough courage to extend my trembling hand to hers, which she let me do, interlacing our fingers.

“I would understand if you said no but… I don't know, (Y/N), maybe… maybe you'd like… not to leave again.”

“Mamma! Don't tell her that! It's creepy!” Maria, who was, of course, spying, shrieked.

“Oddio… go to your room!” I shrieked nervously without taking my hand off (Y/N)'s.

“Donna,” the pianist said, putting a hand on my cheek, turning my face towards hers. “Do you want me to stay? With you?”

“I… yes…” I said looking down, something I couldn't really do, since her hand prevented me from doing so. “I want you to stay… with me, with us and…”

I couldn't continue speaking, since her lips collided with mine without warning, kissing me deeply, slowly, in a sweet and addictive way.

Without wanting to do so, I pulled away, blinking confused, looking at her sweet smile, her eyes shining as she looked at me.

“I'm in love with you, (Y/N),” I finally confessed, throwing myself back into her slow, wet kisses, into her laughter that bounced off my lips, tickling them.

“You're a wonderful woman, Donna Beneviento,” (Y/N) whispered. “I'm crazy about you… And… well, I wouldn't mind staying with you. Well, I would like that you and Maria… were my family…”

“Really?”

“Really”

“Great!” Maria shrieked, running into (Y/N)'s arms, catching her off guard. “See, mamma? It wasn't that hard.”

“Oh, taci,” I said amused, shaking my head.

“It's the happiest day of my life,” my daughter said, hugging us both. “I love you!”

“Hey, come on, stop bothering,” I said, lowering her to the floor lovingly.

“Certo... I have to talk to Angie... my little sibling is getting closer...”

[jung-koook]

I haven't watched namjoons docu yet, but as curious as I am, I went looking for spoilers and I'm going to tell you something... each new thing I find about the docu, I feel like it might be a "warm hug" that I need right now. it's amazing how they seem to know exactly when we need to hear something. sometimes the words are so accurate to a moment I'm going through that I end up laughing at these coincidences. I think this is completely crazy how someone far away, who doesn't know me and is an artist has helped me so much in my life. let's be real, this is crazy but I love this craziness LASKLSLAKSLAK

when they tell us that they are here for us, it is like that. it is in these moments when we need to hear something comforting, when we need advice, when we need music to provide the soundtrack to what we are going through, when we need to distract ourselves from real life. they are so important in my life, who I am has so much of them. "growing up" with bangtan really made me become a better person every day. I have an amazing father who always taught me the right morals, to be a good and nice person but what bangtan did for me is something more "personal" in a way that they helped me shape my personality too. I don't know how to explain this but do you know how our friends help shape our personality? so, its like that.

when jeongguk said that he is a good person because of his hyungs I understood exactly what he meant because I also feel the same way about him and his hyungs. met bangtan in my adolescence was probably one of the greatest gifts the universe could give me. I'm not being dramatic when I say that if I'm still here, they were one of the main reasons for that. they also taught me a lot about understanding my feelings, seeing that there is nothing wrong with me and how to better deal with my feelings and life situations.

sometimes we just need to find the right band or group to be a part of our lives to make it better. or sometimes they are the ones who will find us when we need them most. no matter the age, bangtan will always be a part of my life and I will always be grateful for having the opportunity to meet these 7 amazing people. I love them SO MUCH.

when I was little someone very wise told me that my lucky number was 7, now I know what they mean by that. 🥹

[motherish]

4/9.♡ I got to spend the entire day with my best friend. 👯‍♀️

🐣 I love Keii. You’re probably gonna hear me say that a lot cause I do LOL this was such a good day!? 🐳 And JUST the distraction I needed!!!

🌼 We went and sat at a cafe that’s home to my fav coconut coffee AND my fav Vietnamese coffee! I tend to get 1 tried & true drink and 1 new drink because I have no self control on my coffee anyway. 🤷 The new one I tried was good but way too sweet. Old me woulda loooved it but new me? (real coffee drinker me 💁) can’t hang! I was curious as to how much it would cost to get every coffee drink on the menu.. $110. Keii and I could totally split that?? 👀 Why do I kinda wanna do it.. I’d warn them ahead of time LOLL but 👁️

🌳 Afterwards we stopped by ANOTHER cafe, but this time to grab lunch! Almost got myself stuck in the smallest space I ever seen in my damn LIFE 😑 and in the weirdest parking lot ever? Keii and I were like ?? What is this place? Didn’t even feel like we were in Vegas anymore LOL thank god for back up cameras cause uhhh if I didn’t have that? Yeah every car getting dented. 🤥

🪻The food was good! I really liked what I had and the ambience and overall presentation was very nice? I feel like this is a place you go to take photos! I wanna bring a Baku plushie here lol! 🤓 There were some older ladies that were there before us and were still there as we paid for the bill and left. I told Keii that’s gonna be us as old ladies just yammering away. 😌 I mean we already do that lol but what I mean is we growing old together!!! 🧶

🦋 We went back to my place to relax before the orchestra and Keii FINALLY watched chicken run! Can you believe she loves chickens and has never seen one of the best chicken movies ever? 🤨 Even the loml was like “wait you love chickens but never seen that movie?” LOL RIGHT!!! That is THE chicken movie!? 😤Blasphemous tbh. Then afterwards we watched Treasure Planet 🥹 and CRIESSSS ok by this point I made us a mojito (I haven’t had one since my bday my god I forgot how good they are) and I was feeling it Mr Krabs 🥴 so as soon as the montage came on? And Silver made his speech (you got the makings of greatness in you)? Yeah I was emotional LOLL Keii was too!! 🥲 I wish we had time to finish the movie tho! Cause then we had to go n get ready! Next time.. gonna just rewatch it tbh cause it’s so good. 😌 ALSO Keii mentioned how she feels like they modeled Jim after future Trunks and omg. I never noticed but I can totally see it? Next time you watch the movie look at the hair and the fit! That’s him!!

🍄‍🟫 LOLL. All I can do is laugh. 🌚 Cause I made us a single mojito and then I made us a double mojito and then the love of my life made us a pear blossom cocktail and it took me so fuckin long to do my makeup cause I needed to CONCENTRATE but I was feeling those drinks! 💃🕺 I couldn’t even bother with my hair I just pinned it cause the eyeliner took too much time! 🫣

🐙 Got dropped off and the merch was wack like why can’t we get cool stuff like the bag and shirt Keii had on!? 🙄 I would buy that in a heartbeat! Stopped by the restroom before the show (I always gotta pee when I drink like every 2 seconds) and… I love Keii. 🧩 Why did we have a whole ass moment in the bathroom as people were coming and going behind us 👩‍❤️‍👩 LOLLL we were taking pics and all I could think about is how Keii looks SO pretty and how I HAVE A FRIEND THAT MAKES ME FEEL SEEN! And im holding her face in my hands and getting all teary eyed cause ummmm I found my other half? 🧸 Like in this big wide world I managed to find the other part of me? Not many people get that luxury?

🪆The orchestra was a lot of fun!! The performers ninja ran onto the stage LOLL! They actually played episodes! It reminds me a lot of the Spider Man one that we went to that I absolutely loved! They played the eps as they performed the music live and it felt SO seamless! We got to see some classic episodes too! You know the ones I’m talking about! Oh. And it was in Japanese too THANK GOD! 🙄 Idk if I coulda handled Naruto’s loud ass in English.

🐝 Afterwards we got picked up and went to have Japanese bbq and god.. 🫄I haven’t had bbq in such a long time and it tasted SO good! Keii was weenie hut jr she couldn’t have much but it was total annihilation for me. 🍽️ Thank the heavens for her man cause he was cooking the meat and cutting it up and placing it on our plates LOLLL he always gets the meat just right too!!Nice n rare. 🐺

🍄 I slept so so well that night. Had just enough energy to throw on my PJs and wash my face before I was in dreamland. 💫 I just remember curling up in bed and listening to the loml say something and then I was GONE LOLL such good sleep! And after everything that’s been going on I really needed that. 🪐

🌏 It’s forever n always a good time when I’m with Keii. 🎆 I just feel very grateful to have someone in my life that I can be myself with. Having a romantic partner is wonderful and I feel so grateful for that part of my life as well? But you need friends. You hear me? If you put all your time and energy into only nurturing romantic relationships then you are going to live a very unfulfilling and lonely life. I get to have the best of both worlds and I am so so thankful for that. Next time, we gotta finish Treasure Island! But let’s start over from the beginning. 🎇

[caeunot]

johnnie x reader

new years angst (18+)

PSA: the johnnie i'm going to write about is the fictional version we all have in our minds, we truly don't know how he actually is and it's good to make a balance to avoid any uneasy or parasocial feelings when writing about a real person.

it had been a very long night for everyone, new years party's obviously only actually get started at 12 so the night only truly ends early hours of the morning. johnnie was fast asleep on his bed, the sheets unmade as he lay on top in the full clothes from night before. as he lifted his head he felt all the drinking all the smoking all the talking from the night before rush straight to his head, like a heavy boulder he has to now carry for the next 12 hours. this isn't anything new to him but that doesn't make it any more fun to deal with.

he gets up and looks at himself in his mirror, scrunching his face as he notices how he still had his makeup on, though completely different from the way it had spread all across his face messily from lying on it. he turns on the tap and splashes himself with the cold water, waking him up but also somehow making his migraine worse.

as he starts getting changed into something comfortable he starts remembering the events from the night before, as if in pieces he has to puzzle together.

one thing that remains the most prominent in his memory is the countdown for midnight, he was excited. he had a plan. he wore his best outfit and put contour and primer on his face to make that days makeup extra fancy(he never really does that). he had been anticipating this moment the whole night, his eyes darted around looking for something specific. he squeezed past a few people pushing one slightly too hard making him have to awkwardly apologize which he hated doing. but at that moment it didn't phase him and neither did the flashing lights and the aggressive music playing a bit too loudly in the background. his mind was focused on one thing only. you

his plan was that at the moment it hit 12 he would kiss you, in his mind he decided this would be the best option since if you weren't into it he could pull it off saying it was a friend thing. he was absolutely too nervous to actually just ask you out since he personally feels you are quite out of his league. he hoped this would spark something between the two of you. so that he no longer has to look away when you laugh at his jokes because of the prominent blush that would always come up on his pale skin, or the way he had to hide his enthusiasm when you were around. he was absolutely infatuated with you.

who did you think zombie was about?

but as he finally caught his eye on you with seconds to spare he started jogging towards you but as he was about to approach you, you turn to jake cupping his face and leaning in for a deep kiss. he saw the way you smiled as jake held onto your waist. the way your kiss lasted longer than the others around the room. suddenly he jolted out of his mind as he hears a knock on his bathroom door.

fuck. he thinks to himself as he puts his hand sloppily through his hair in attempt to neaten it. "yes?" he says, still sounding half asleep.

"can I talk to you" you say, wait. you say? johnnie is confused. you don't live here, he just shares this place with jake..

fuck

he bites his lip before answering, "yeah uh just- just gimmie a min I just got up". " oh ok no problem! I'll be in the living room, take your time alright?" you say, he waits for your foot steps to sound lighter before he leans against the door and slides down to the floor, hands in his hair he curses. curses how he could so easily give someone his heart and so easily let them tear it apart, even without them knowing they did. love was fucked and he was tired and his migraine was getting worse and he just wanted everything to disappear, but as much as he would love to lock himself in the bathroom forever he was also curious what you had to say to him.

around 10 minutes later he emerges from the bathroom still rubbing his towel around his wet hair from his shower, he walks into the living room to see you scrolling on your phone and his heart immediately starts aching. before you noticed he was there he took full advantage of being able to admire you, you had no makeup on which johnnie had never seen before, but god you might look even better without it.

he admired the way your hair was slightly messed up and the way you were still in the clothes from the night before, that tight black dress that has a low v neck showing off your breasts which he realized he was obsessed with, even in a normal setting you made it work.

"so what's up?" he asks sitting down next to you on the couch. "wait first before anything can i ask you a massive favour..", "hit me" he says with a half smile, "well as u can see im still sorta in my dress from last night uh.. i maybe slept over here last night and my place is pretty far and i have a splitting headache, would it be cool if i stay at your guys place tonight too?"

"oh sure no problem we don't mind! but what about your clothes? im guessing u didn't pack any extra in that handbag of yours." you shuffle in your seat feeling a lil embarrassed, "that's my second favour.. could i borrow some of yours? well uhm not yours specifically but your the only one awake at the moment and i dont wana wake poor jake"

johnnie got a bit red imagining you in his clothes, but nonetheless lent you one of his hoodies and sweats which fit you perfectly. as you were getting changed he couldn't help when his mind slipped to the fact you never wore a bra with that dress, meaning you would be wearing one of his hoodies completely bra-less which turned him on much more than he would have hoped for, especially since the two of you agreed to go get something to eat after you get changed.

the car ride was very silent and it was freaking johnnie out a little, once you two have ordered your food and are started waiting you decide to break the silence, "if im being real, i got wayy too blasted last night like i honestly don't even remember talking to you.. at one point i wasn't even sure if you were there, but saying that i barely remember anyone i spoke to haha". johnnie lets out a small laugh, "dont worry abt not seeing me, im not a party guy i always end up lurking in the shadows like a vampire instead of making conversation." you turn your head to the window looking out at the sun as it melts like honey into the blue sky as it sets.

the two of you ended up eating in the car because you guys were so hungry. as you guys made it back inside the house you see jake facetiming someone on his phone, you sneak up behind him and shove him a little while going "BAH", which made him jump like a cartoon character. "fuck you y/n im on a call" "not my fault your a scaredy cat", "dude that's just wrong im braver than u and johnnie combined okay" you guys laugh and jake takes his call to his room, leaving you and johnnie alone again.

"i like how he didn't ask why im still here" you ask slumping onto the nearest couch. "i think you scared him too much that he stopped thinking for a sec" he said plonking himself next to you.

"you down to watch a movie?" you ask, "sure sounds good! i mean what else is there to do anyways". "perfect ill choose kay!! since im the guest i get privileges heh", "whatever makes u happy miss y/n" he says giving a genuine smile which made your heart race slightly.

the movie dragged on for johnnie, not that it was a bad movie but for the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about how close you guys sat next to each other, plus the way you were still wearing his clothes and how absolutely gorgeous you looked in them. all of a sudden you turned towards johnnie as he was staring at you by accident, the two of you sat there in silence for a little before you broke it

"uh johnnie can i be honest with you", "sure y/n, what's up". "well let me get straight to the point, by the time it hit new years.. did you see who i kissed?" johnnie tilted his head in confusion, "you kissed jake.. don't you remember?". "honestly i don't remember anything past 11pm.. when i said i was blasted i really meant blasted. well the reason im asking is because there was someone specific i wanted to kiss"

"oh really? and who was that". "it uhm was you"

johnnie felt his face start heating up and without thinking he immediately pulled your face in for a deep kiss, "johnnie.." you whisper as the kiss ended, his hands still on your face and the two of you close enough to where you could see all the pores on face and feel his cool breath against your lips.

he doesn't respond, even the kiss took him off guard and he initiated it! he realized that you reciprocated his kiss and that gave him enough motivation to lean in for another, this one was more sloppy and more intense. you two wanted each other badly and it was visible, as some tongue was slipped you climbed on top of johnnie and felt his bulge already from his thin pants. that turned you on even more and you accidentally let out a small moan.

you started to feel johnnies hands gently hold your waist from under the hoodie, you started to get a tingly feeling as he gently graced his hands higher and higher till he reached your boobs, he let out a small whimper as he gripped and played your breasts. you take your hands from his neck and instead use them to take off the hoodie itself giving him a full view of your boobs now making him gasp mid kiss.

you start grinding on him gently while taking his shirt off, once its off you slowly get off of him and pull down his pants, "are you sure?" he said shakily as he sat more forward on the couch preparing for what's coming, "you don't know how long I've wanted to do this, yes baby i'm sure" you say which made him go even redder and before you get on your knees you see him biting down an excited smile.

as you pull his boxers down you take your hand and gently rub it back and forth before taking your tongue and starting right at the base, giving a mix of wet kisses and licks as you slowly go higher and higher. when you finally get to the tip you hear a small whimper and you feel the top of your hair being grabbed desperately, you slowly put the tip fully inside your mouth moving it gently back and forth and going faster and faster deeper and deeper making his member twitch inside of his mouth and as you start hearing him moan deeply you realize he has already hit his climax and ends up finishing inside your mouth. when he was done you take your mouth off with a plop and immediately go back up to johnnies absolutely flustered face, you have never seen him look so submissive.

without hesitation you kiss him with his cum still inside your mouth, making a mess as it spills onto both of your chests.

johnnie sighs in delight "fuck y/n how did you do that" -when he knew exactly how :)

❣

[fushiglow]

I feel like I live in here geeking about music, and I want to nervously apologise but I won't this time.

Thanks to living in the furture I've heard the new Sleep Token album, and I'm having OTT thoughts with the song 'Past Self'. I was curious about your thoughts on it.

And honestly you have this love of music that I see in OTT and I can't help but want to ask you about it.

Anyway, I hope you feel less burned out soon Glo <3

Sending this when you knew I physically couldn't listen for many more hours was cruel. Jokes on you, I'm into that 🫵

Having given the album a full listen a number of times now, I think we may as well go on the whole Even In Arcadia journey in relation to Over the Threshold, and I'll share some more general thoughts about the album after that in case you're interested.

I hope you enjoy this, because I truly am the strongest yapper!

Sugar

First, a recap. For anyone who doesn't know, the Sleep Token associations with Over the Threshold were a happy accident. Shortly after I published chapter 6 in January 2024, someone left a comment saying that Satoru's song in the fic, Sugar, reminded them of Sleep Token's Sugar. I had never even heard of Sleep Token at the time, and when I listened, my first thought was, "Yeah, Satoru's music definitely sounds nothing like this."

However, the lyrics certainly spoke not only to Satoru's cheeky song, but to the fic in general. Games (little and big) are a recurrent theme in Over the Threshold, so it's not just "Sugar, I've developed a taste for you", but also "You must be crazy if you think that I will give up the game".

It was mentioned by readers quite a few more times over the months that followed, but I didn't think about it much more until I decided to develop Satoru's Sugar further in chapter 11. When I first introduced the song to the fic, I wasn't intending it to play such a big role in the story. It was simply supposed to be the "fun" second single sandwiched between the two more meaningful songs. However, Sugar took on a life of its own, at least in part due to the reader response to the song.

That's the most special thing about this fic. For a story that is so much about the dialogue between artist and audience, but also about the suffocation of creativity and the suppression of authentic artistic expression in a consumer driven music industry, being able to respond to reader reactions within the story itself is such a gift.

From the theorising about the photos in the parking garage to "sugar ooh" becoming a commonplace substitute for Suguru among Over the Threshold readers, as though people actually heard that catchy hook, you guys have more control of this story than you perhaps realise — and that is so deliciously meta. It's what Suguru describes in chapter 5:

An artist’s relationship with the public was a precarious, fickle thing, [...] their power [only] proportional to the people’s belief in them.

I feel exactly like Satoru and his team, identifying the fan favourite that emerges and giving it prized place in the encore to close out the show. The readers brought Sugar into focus in this story, which brings us back to Sleep Token, because the readers brought that Sugar into focus, too. It became the "theme song" for Dolce, because it grew into the fabric of Satoru's character for me via the readers.

Neither Dolce nor A Cappella would even exist if I didn't have such a wonderful readerbase willing to engage with me at this level, and I'm truly thankful for that. This story has grown beyond anything I originally set out to do, and it's all the more meaningful for it.

Caramel

Perhaps it's surprising to hear that I see Sugar as a song performed from Satoru's POV, along with its spiritual successor, Caramel, which became the "theme song" for Dolce's spiritual successor, A Cappella, in turn.

For anyone who's interested in getting a peek into Satoru's head in this fic, Caramel is your song. It really sums up the core conflict that this story explores, as well as Satoru and Suguru's opposing ideologies pushing up against one another. Suguru has a strong presence in the song. He's the "They can sing the words while I cry into the bassline" to Satoru's "I just wanna hear you sing that top line". He's the "mirror side-stage" that grounds Satoru, but also reflects back at him all the horrors of his role that he's never really confronted before.

In the end, Caramel sums up his quiet acceptance of the chaos of his chosen lifestyle, but only after exploring all the emotion that simmers beneath that perfect smile as he's pulled in different directions by his love of the performance, by the secret strain of the spotlight, by his love for Suguru, and by his fear of everything that threatens to reduce sweet sugar to burnt caramel at the bottom of the pan. There is such desperation in "Stick to me like caramel." I can't not hear it as chapter 13's "Can you hold on just a little bit longer?" while Satoru attempts to handle everything on his own. He wants to have his cake and eat it. Can he?

Of course, Sugar is less explicitly related to the themes of the wider story, but the release of Caramel has retroactively given the song a weight that supports this specific story in such beautiful ways. I never could have foreseen these serendipitous circumstances (I actually could, I'm Glod) but Sleep Token keep delivering for me.

There was Sugar, then Caramel, then Damocles which we've already discussed. Now, the release of Even In Arcadia brings three more songs that slot into this story, leaving us with five songs written specifically for fushiglow. Incredible scenes.

Past Self

The first, as you say, is Past Self. We've got games again, and the idea of dancing on the line which has come up a few times throughout the fic, but lyrically, this song is wildly fitting to Over the Threshold at a much deeper level. It's almost getting creepy at this point. First of all:

And you know I deliberate on cutting out the demons I still need a dark side, they just need a reason The passage of the hours into rushing through the seasons Falling through my mind with the leaves on the trees

Anyone else having chapter 12/13 war flashbacks? Changing seasons and falling leaves? Alright then!

Other stand out lines include "bolts out of my blue depths" (sobs), "did I get this far for nothing, or are you the reward?" (sobs harder), and "torn apart by the true believers that turned out to be faithless". Good lord, the themes are really theming.

However, the bridge section is such a departure from the rest of the song that I think puts Sleep Token's musical choices here into context:

And if this is love, then I am out of hesitation Head over heels at elevation Walking an inch above the pavement Taking it stride by stride together If this is real, then I am all up in a frenzy Not like before when I was empty Say that the story we tell is never-ending Taking it side by side together

It reminds me of the momentous turning point of chapter 8:

The gravity of it was startling. Yet Suguru felt buoyed by it, weightless on the current of Satoru’s faith in him — because no one had ever really believed in Suguru like that before. The feeling of it coursing around his bloodstream was potent and exciting, the way all drugs felt on the first try. It made his grin feel a little manic.

The whole song feels like taking a leap of faith, but in the context of the album, the unexpected sonic shift to upbeat hip hop rhythms and instrumentation is unsettling for the listener. The song bounces along in a way that feels like it might teeter off the edge at any time.

It even feels pretty unstable harmonically, like it's missing its centre. During the aforementioned bridge, it feels like we come close to reaching some kind of satisfying harmonic resolution for the final chorus, but ultimately the outcome of this leap of faith is withheld from the listener. It's smart writing. I really appreciate the intention behind this one!

Dangerous

Next up is Dangerous. Listening to the first 1:30 of this song felt like taking a bath in milk and honey — delectable but dangerous. More like scaphism than a spa treatment. I'm being silly.

But seriously, the gorgeous vocals cushioned by the reverberant pluck of guitar strings in the opening to the song are one of my favourite parts of the album overall. Nothing smart to say about this one though. It's just very reminiscent of Suguru trying to resist the dangerous addiction that is Satoru.

Infinite Baths

Even if I'm not head over heels in love with this song in its own right, as an Over the Threshold song, it is incredibly special. Enough to make me cry. In fact, in the context of the fic, it might be my favourite of all of them. [EDIT: No, I take it back. It's Damocles. Or Caramel. I don't know.]

But I'm not going to talk about it. Maybe we'll come back to it one day. For now, interpret this as you wish. Is it the balmy peace of the first half of the song or the violent supernova of the second that speaks to me? Hm.

I think the fact that I've chosen to focus on spiritual and celestial imagery with idols and stars in Over the Threshold — the idea of worshipping a concept that's bigger than reality — is a huge part of the reason Sleep Token's recent music resonates with the story.

I'm not familiar with the lore, but my hunch is that when they conceived of Sleep and Vessel and tokens of worship, they weren't thinking about celebrity, but those recurring themes have inadvertently played right into their experience of fame and thus make an appearance in a big way on Even In Arcadia.

Hooray for fushiglow and Over the Threshold, boo for the Sleep Token guys and the difficulties they've been facing. Fame sucks.

General review

As I've alluded to, most of my enjoyment of this album definitely stems from my own selfish application of its themes to Over the Threshold. However, in case you're interested, I'll also share some more general thoughts, because I personally think it's fascinating that looking at this album through the lens of my story vs in its own right changes my perception of it rather a lot.

I like music that's deliberate in its choices, regardless of genre. I like music that tells a story in its composition and arrangement and production, not only in its lyrical content. If all of those things marry together and support one another, that's great songwriting. For me, Even In Arcadia meets that criteria around half the time.

My biggest criticism of the record is that it feels hesitant in places, like the band lacks commitment to their ideas. There's so much experimentation with genre on this album and the experimental moments are what made me sit up and pay attention — the bold use of a reggaeton beat on Caramel; the unexpected sidestep into math rock on Gethsemane; just the whole journey through genre that is Emergence — but it feels like Sleep Token are held back by a reluctance to depart from their roots.

The gentle build to a breakdown where the drums and guitars come screaming in sometimes feels formulaic, like they're going through the motions expected of them as a 'rock band'. On a couple of occasions, the pivot to a heavier sound mid-track felt to me (to use an Over the Threshold-ism) like it limited the song from reaching the heights it was aiming for.

I think that's a shame, but also understandable, especially since this is their first release on a major label which comes with ALL sorts of politics. I even think that fear of the audience moving on is expressed in the lyrical content, especially in Damocles which, interestingly enough, shows a restraint on that front which is exactly the kind of musical storytelling I described earlier.

Some tracks feel out of place, like they don't quite belong to the concept. For me, the singles are definitely the high points of the album, alongside Look to Windward and Even In Arcadia. Even In Arcadia is a rich and immersive soundscape that delivers all the spiritualism of the lyrics with a vocal performance to back it up. That hoarse screamed last line that feels like it's reaching outside of the song followed by the soft "for me" evokes something larger than life; I think this song will be amazing live.

Meanwhile, Look to Windward is such a strong opener. It sets the tone really well, even if I don't think the tracks that follow always deliver on its promises. I love the Hans Zimmer-esque chords; it's very reminiscent of Holy War from Dune. Really strong melodic and lyrical content over the top of them, too, and I love the development into the plucked strings and vocalisations. This song is constantly growing and developing, exploring new ideas before returning to the original subject. It's a very complete and satisfying listening experience, which (I think) describes to the listener the journey the album will (attempt to) take them on.

I feel like Infinite Baths didn't quite deliver on that return to the original subject. The circular nature of the album (it closes with the same chord and rhythm combination it opens with) is undermined by the way it kind of fizzles out at the end. We land back where we started, but it feels like an accident rather than a deliberate choice. I wonder why they chose a fade out. Is this what they meant by "drift with me" (such a drastic departure from the rest of the song and easily my favourite part)?

So, most of the tracks on Even In Arcadia probably aren't going to find their way into my regular listening, but I enjoyed it overall. I do love a good concept album, and I admire Sleep Token's dedication to their artistry and the elaborate performance of it all. I also think that the more ambitious an artist is, the more critical we tend to be of them, and that doesn't feel fair.

Still, the higher you climb, the harder you fall. It seems fitting to the themes of this album, so maybe it achieved its aims.

Good god, I hope this was enjoyable to someone. Congratulations if you got to the bottom of this post! If you did, let's make a secret club. Only people who leave a reply containing 🌭 are part of it. Welcome to the hot dog club. (?!)

Thanks for another opportunity to yap, it means a lot. I love talking about music and I love talking about this story ♥

[ink-and-dagger]

What do you think of the new Ghost album, Inky? Also, I wanted to ask, if it’s okay to talk about, how was the concert for you? Were the new songs nice to hear live?

Spoilers (or maybe not actual spoilers, but still! This is the part where I share my opinion, and I don’t want to influence you or shape your thoughts if you haven’t listened to the whole album yet.)

To be completely honest, it’s not my favorite, but I know I need to listen to it a few more times to see if it grows on me. This is really just my raw first impression. I feel like some of the songs sound a bit similar, I’m not sure how to explain it.

With the previous albums, especially Impera, I felt like the songs had more contrast, like we had the bold energy of Twenties, and then something really touching like Darkness at the Heart of My Love.

And when I first listened to Impera, or even Prequelle, I could instantly pick a few favorites. This time, I’m a bit indecisive.

But again, this is just a first listen reaction, I’m definitely going to keep listening to it on repeat, and I’m so excited to see them in concert!!!

Oh boy, I have so many thoughts and I'm really sorry if I sound like a patronising asshole at any point I'm just very passionate about music in general. I’ll talk about the album first so I can put a read more cut for anyone wanting to avoid concert spoilers.

I adore Skeletá. I think it’s a bloody masterpiece. Tobias has brought it into existence at the perfect time within Ghost’s discography and I’m not in the least bit surprised that a significant chunk of the fandom don’t get it and/or are mad about it. Every Ghost album has a specificity to it - they all achieve something different - and Skeletá is no exception. It’s not the album you head bang to - that’s what Opus is for. It’s not the album you wobble wobble to - that’s what Impera is for. Skeletá is the album you turn to when the sheer burden of existing in todays world becomes too heavy. Tobias said it himself in numerous interviews and articles leading up to the release: “I wanted this record to be about being human. Being alive.” And I think that’s exactly what he’s done. Skeletá acts as a tether to the raw humanity inside each of us - it forces you to be introspective, to shut out all external noise and to re-live all the moments in your life in which you felt something visceral and real. The intensity of first love. The devastation of first loss. Those memories which lose their impact on us over time because we allow the bullshit of the rest of the world to dampen them. Tobias has given us a fucking gift with this album, and it’s a gift that I think will unfortunately go over a lot of people’s heads. (Not talking about you anon, more referring to the people on twitter bitching that it isn't Impera 2 despite TF literally saying he wanted to avoid that).

I think there’s a wiiiide variety of reasons why so many people aren’t vibing with this album (aside from genuine musical preference), I honestly feel I could write a damn thesis about it. I’m not going to get into it rite here rite now right now, but if people are curious then hit me up I guess. All I’ll say is that if Skeletá has a million fans I’m one of them, if Skeletá has 5 fans I’m one of them, if Skeletá has 1 fan that one is me, if Skeletá has no fans I’m no longer alive, if the world is against Skeletá I’m against the entire world.

My London O2 Concert experience below cut

The concert was phenomenal. I can’t explain what it was like to hear Peacefield live for the first time, I honestly feel so incredibly lucky that I got to experience it like that, because now each time I listen to it it directly links me back to that moment in the o2.

The experience getting into the venue was great. The O2 have it down to a fine art and I basically just walked in straight away when I arrived at the venue. The only time I queued was for merch once I was inside which was quite long (30 mins perhaps), but because I got into the venue so quickly that I wasn’t concerned about time. I was sat up in the nosebleeds, so we weren’t able to get up and dance because it just wasn’t safe to do so, but everyone around me was bouncing up and down in their seats like excited toddlers in high-chairs.

I do gotta say - and I’ll be interested to know if anyone else at o2 thought the same - I thought the sound mix was crap. Papa’s mic sounded a bit tinny which was such a shame because his vocals were the best I’ve ever heard them. Like oh my GOD the difference the half mask makes to his vocals is absolutely insane. And just overall he was so free and happy - it honestly felt like watching a baby cow frolicking in the field after being stuck in a barn all winter.

He didn’t talk much between songs, but at towards the start of the concert he just spoke as Tobias, and throughout the show he graaadually got a little more Copia with the accent and cadence of his words. Probably muscle memory and habit. His movements too - lots of little hops and skips and dances that Copia did but they felt more real coming from V if that makes sense? They’re definitely twins lmfao. Little dressage horses the pair of them.

Some of my fav moments:

Jesus hyping up the crowd before it started

The curtains dropping in Peacefield

Papa messing up the lyrics to DATHOML (really made me laugh)

His vocals. Honestly I cannot express how incredibly he sang.

His smirk at the end of Cirice sent me into the stratosphere I honestly think having a seat so far away from the stage may have saved my life there

Papa pretending to be scared of the audience when we shouted ‘Blasphemy! Heresy!’ During Satanized.

Papa’s scream at the start of Mummy Dust also sent me into the stratosphere

The way Papa said “You Mother Fuckers” during Faith - he really relished it you could tell

Lots of mwah mwah mwahs at the end of KTGG

The concert was the day before Easter, and he asked us if we wanted an Easter Egg up our Keister. Then he paused, and you could see the penny drop because his eyes lit up and he got this goofy little smile and went “Y’all want a Keister Egg??!!” Baby girl was so proud of his dad joke <3

Honestly it was just an incredible night overall, and I’m even more excited to see them again in Linköping because I actually have decent tickets and also my buddy my pal my sweet cheese @lemmielem for company >:)

[kittygamer2888]

[One Piece manga spoilers 1144-1146]

[Long post]

So, to recap:

• APPARENTLY LOKI KNEW XEBEC??

And bro got beat when he saw him, oh lord😭

Welp, now we know Xebec hates kids like Loki and maybe in general seeing as he FUCKING STABBED THE CHILD--

• Gunko has goated taste in music

Also- I didn't even notice until people pointed it out, TD stands for "Tone Dial"

So Tone Dials actually became the headphones of One Piece after those 2 years! :0

Good to see Skypiea got some recognition in that chapter, even if it's just minor details, I love stuff like that tbh :3

And... honestly, as bad as the Gods Knights are, Oda hit us with the personality effect-- meaning that they're starting to become my favorite characters despite bring bad guys😭

Their interactions are fun, Sommers is a bitch for making fun of Gunko's taste, tho.

• Luffy's out here almost killing Loki unintentionally, holy fuck😭😭

LIKE GOOD GOD, HE'S GIVING THIS MAN 3RD DEGREE BURNS FRKM THAT POT-

AND FLIPPIN GERD OUT HERE SUPPORTING IT LMFAOOO

She hates that man so damn much, jesus😭

• I love the 2 cooks getting along, this was actually really neat to see :]

• Not only that, but the fire stopped! But uhh... it seems the kids are still asleep under Qilingham's control

• Not only that, but Gunko's aboard the ship Colon and the other part of the Strawhats are. And that's what we'll be seeing today.

• Side Note: also also, there's like this facility or building of some sort that looks like a robot, and Lilith estimates that it could be 3,000 years old, but those are speculations for now.

------------------------------------

Idk about you guys, but I find Ulti willing to serve Yamato after being saved kinda surprising. Even Page One's surprised about this, too.

Not sure where this'll be heading, but I'm curious as to what Yamato's next move might be.

Meanwhile, THE CHILD IS GETTING ABDUCTED.

So uhm... this is getting bad 0_0"

Also also- YEP.

THERE'S GOING TO BE A WORLD WAR... IDK, 4?? WITH HOW LONG THIS WAR'S BEEN GOING BETWEEN THE WORLD GOVERNMENT, THEY ACTUALLY MENTION THAT THERE'S GOING TO BE AN ALL-OUT WAR AHEAD.

Not only that, but we actually get to see-

A NEW MOVE FROM NAM-

Oop-

Uh...

Well shit, it got redirected •-•'

Still, it was pretty cool :]

Ngl though, the Arrow-Arrow fruit might just become a bit of a problem for these guys...

BUT WHAT I'M MOST SURPRISED ON IS HOW THEY FOCUSED ON TH I S.

With people pointing out that- because Soul King is Brook- you'd think Gunko would have this sort of fangirl moment of her squealing and wanting a autograph from the Soul King himself, but while that may not be the case here...

They seem to really be focusing on this panel of the 2. Of course she wouldn't recognize him cus of the new Elbaph fit, but imagine if she did if he'd change😭

Who knows how that interaction might go, lmfao

AND THESE 2

THESE 2 ARE JUST THE SAME, HOLY SHIT

PFFTTRJJDJD

But oh god...

If we really want to pay attention to detail here, this..

This is actually pretty sad🥲

Saul cannot catch a break for the life of him--

This guy's feeling more pain than he felt back in Ohara, AND LOOK AT ROBIN, GOD DAMN IT-

LORD KNOWS WHETHER IF SHE'S HAVING PTSD OR NOT JUST BY HAVING TO HEAR SAUL IN PAIN, BUT GOOD GOD

ODA W H Y

THESE GUYS WERE FINALLY REUNITED AND NOW THEY'RE DEALING WITH MORE CHAOS AGAINJ DJDNFNNF

this panel of Robin gives me p a i n🥲

But on a side note:

While it's vague, we get a Sommers eye reveal🎉

Now stap it with needles, this guy needs to be put down and f a s t.

AND NO BREAK NEXT WEEK🎉🎉

but it's safe to assume that something big's brewing in this war, and who knows how that war's going to start.

You could say that it started now in Elbaph, but to me, this is only just the beginning.

But one thing's for sure, people were right about one thing:

Ragnarok's coming.

[neoballsucker]

The boy is mine

Summary : your mom was a hopless romantic until she found the perfect man for her , little did she know he was the complete opposite

Pair : kun × fem!bodied reader

Waring : smut , smei stepcest (he's the mom's boyfriend) , cheating , daddy kink

W.c : 2.7k (I love my man)

A/n : in honour of red haired kun

Your mom always hooking up and dating new men every once in a while wasn't something new to you , she was always looking after handsome men , and rich ones as well , she did this since your dad died , you were used to your mom coming home with men at night and having sex with them drunk or high, so you accepted your faith and lived your life , even though your mom seemed to hook up a lot , she always made sure to take care of you, your health and education, so it doesn't really matter to you what she does, but since your rooms’ walls are kinda attached you could always hear her or the new man she’s with moaning, whining or crying, it always reminded you how miserable she is , One day she comes home really happy from one of the clubs. You were confused, cause she usually comes home wasted and really drunk cause her boyfriend dumps her.

“Someone looks happy today?” You say teasingly and smile

Your mom shrugs and chuckles “well today I met that man” she smiles softly

“Oh and what's so special about him that made you smile ear to ear?” you ask teasingly

“Oh he's so sweet , you should meet him , he's not like these other guys I've dated , he's so special” she sighs and smiles.

“Oh and what's his name?” You ask curiously.

“Well his name is kun” she says, you nod and smile .

“Well I hope that one lasts” you roll your eyes and go to my room.

your mom goes to few other dates with that man kun always very happy , you were glad your mom found the man that made her feel happy and fulfilled after your dad's death , but you were always curious who's that man that could possibly date a woman at her 40s right now , since all men prefer younger women that are still living their youth, you assumed it was a man that was in his early 50s. Your 18th birthday was coming on the way. And you and your mom were planning on the decorations, the cake and the people you'll invite.

“So you'll invite your friends , some of your friends' parents, is that right?” your mom asks looking at the list you gave her

“Yeah that's right , feel free to invite someone as well!!” You offer her , busy decorating the room

“Oh , can I invite Kun over?” She asks excitedly.

“Oh of course you can mom.” I chuckle hearing her tone.

Few days skip and it's finally your birthday. People come over , music takes over, all your friends come over and their parents, some people that you don't know or are not familiar with also come , you assume that was your mom's friends, you also see some of your family members. People are congratulating you , and wishing you a happy birthday and giving you presents. Your mom approaches you and pulls you to a quiet place suddenly.

“Gosh mom you scared me” you chuckle softly. You hear your mom chuckle.

“I want you to meet kun!!” She smiles excitedly.

“Oh and where is the lucky man?” I chuckle softly. She walked away for a few moments and pulled a young looking man that looked really attractive if you're being honest, he had red hair, his smile was charming and his eyes were shining.

“Kun c'mon, this is my daughter y/n” she smiles at kun.

“Oh hey there y/n , happy birthday!!” Kun smiles.

“Oh thank you kun” you smile shyly before he hands you a small box.

“Ah, thank you , you didn't have to.” you smile softly, taking the box.

“This is nothing, it's just a small gift” he smiles again, it makes you melt, you both hold eye contact for a bit , noticing how young he looks.

“Uh sorry to ask but how old are you?” You ask curiously

“Oh I'm 28” he answers, you looked surprised a little

“Oh wow you're pretty young…for my mom” he chuckles as you say that.

“Everyone says that but your mom is just really sweet” you two smile at each other until your friend called you

“ahh you're here” she pulled you with her as you waved to kun.

“Who's that cute dude?” she asks and bites her lower lips.

“Don't get too excited he's my mom's boyfriend” I roll my eyes

“They'll break up after a while like she usually do”

“I don't think so, she seems so happy with him” you sigh

“Whatever birthday queen let's go enjoy this shit , you became an adult” you smile slightly and nod , heading back to enjoy the loud music and your friends, one of your friends suggests you a glass of alcohol , you would be lying if you said it was your first time trying it , you sometimes tasted the alcohol your mom left on the table while cleaning up after her , sometimes weed , cigarettes, you had some experience with these things, you take the glass of alcohol from your friend and drink the whole glass , after a while you head to kun since you couldn't find your mom

“Yo kun um do you know where did mom go?” you ask taking in every detail of his face, he had a glass of alcohol in his hand

“Oh she said she'll go stay at a friend's house since she didn't like the noise here , I'll stay here with you if you want”

“Ah no it's okay” you say heading back to your friends. You went to enjoy the rest of the night eventually getting drunk, and since you just started actually drinking just now you collapsed, after feeling dizzy from all the alcohol. You woke up the next day , but you felt someone next to you , you felt too sick to even turn and see who was it. Finally turning around seeing kun, you knew it was wrong but it felt nice next to him ,how his hair is messy and it's covering most of his face , you wanted to lean in more into his touch , kiss him, feel him. He was just looking at you and smiled softly.

“Good morning sleepy head” he says a d chuckles.

“Oh good morning…what happened yesterday?” You asked and took a deep breath

“Well you just got too drunk and collapsed, I didn't wanna leave you cause your mom isn't home, yet” you nod listening to him.

“Anyways do you want breakfast?” He asks.

“Oh I can do it myself” you smile and get off the bed before he pulls you back right next to him , there was almost no distance between your faces , you felt his warm breath against your face

“Don't move, I'll cook for you , you're still tired” he says , his voice was lower than before, you couldn't help it but get closer to him and kiss his lips, he surprisingly kisses you back closing your eyes feeling your lips against his, he wraps his arms around your waist as you cup his cheeks between your hands , after a while you pull away and take a deep breath ready to get scolded by him, but you heard a Chuckle coming from him , you open your eyes and look at him raising an eyebrow.

“You're much better than your mom could every be” he whisper as he nibbles your neck gently.

“r-really?” You ask, trying to hold in a moan , your voice kinda shaky.

“Oh definitely yeah” he chuckles

“I'll go make you some breakfast now” he stands up and gets out of the room.

It felt wrong, it felt wrong enjoying that kiss , it felt wrong liking how his lips felt , all of it was wrong. You felt so guilty…but it felt so wrong. You take a deep breath before getting off the bed. Going to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day. You then go to the kitchen seeing that kun is still cooking.

“You really didn't have to cook anything I always go the cafe near by” you say standing next to him.

“You don't have to waste money on food that won't make you full for even three hours” he chuckles softly.

“I just know mom chose the right man , he'll definitely make her full” I chuckle as he rolls his eyes.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” He asks curiously.

“Oh I don't, just focusing on getting to college now you know” I roll my eyes as you hear the door opening

“Oh what is that sweet smell?” Your mom says as she enters the house

“Oh it's some breakfast, want some babe?” Kun says with a smile.

“Oh I'd love to” she chuckles , kun also chuckles and get the food ready , you all eat together , talking about the party and how it went. Your mom decides to go sleep since she couldn't sleep at her friend's place.

You and kun are at the living room , each of you scrolling through their phone boredly.

“So have you ever thought of having a boyfriend before?” Kun breaks the silence between you two.

“I mean of course I did but you know I'll be too stressed in the next years and it will be hard for me to keep up with my studies and boyfriend at the same time.” You say looking at him boredly

“When will college start?” He asks

“In about a month?” You say as he nods.

Time passes it's time for college, kun drives you there as you discover he works in the same college you're in , you liked it cause it might get you more grades since you know one of the teachers personally.

After the day was done he takes you with him.

“So how was college today?” He smiles and looks at you

“It was nice , I got to know some people out there”

“You never told me you work there before?” You say as he chuckles.

“I mean you never asked” you chuckle as you hear his words

“I mean fair enough”

“How about we go eat outside today?”

“And what about mom?”

“She's going out with her friends, typical, she never spends time with us” he rolls his eyes

“I love her though” he chuckles, you felt happy that your mom that loves her truly…but you felt jealous at the same time, what if you were the one that met him first?

You'd have been in love, going out on dates but it was too late they're getting married in two weeks. He takes you to the restaurant, you two eat together and get kinda drunk , he holds your hand and takes you to the car which was parked in a dark alley as he helps you sit in the backseat , he sits next to you and brushes his fingers against your thighs.

“Are you okay?” He asks

“Mhm , yes I am” you lean in on his chest, burying your face against his chest , he chuckles and nod.

“You don't look like it though “ he says teasingly.

You look up and kiss his lips softly,he chuckles against your lips and kisses you back , running his hands through your hair, you moan slightly against his lips, as his fingers touches your inner thighs, he pushes you flatly on the seat and gets lower , raising your skirt a little , seeing your red panties and chuckles , he pulls them down and leans in , feeling his warm breath against your pussy you whine slightly. He leans in more and presses his tongue against your pud, you arch your back slightly and whine. You remembered your mom and immediately felt bad but it was too late…too late to stop him it already felt good , his tongue pressed against your pussy , the car is filled with stem , you body feeling hot , your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead. He raises his head and leans in to pull your lips in a sloppy kiss sneaking his tongue inside your mouth, it was a guilty pleasure, it was the nicest kiss ever.

“You taste nicer than your mom, she's old anyways don't you think?” He chuckles and kisses your neck gently.

“I- kun I don't think we should”

“Shhh , it's okay princess, it's only this time , okay? Just for me , just for daddy okay?” He asks and kisses your lips.

“O-okay daddy?” It was a new nickname for you to call him. He smiles as you call him that.

“It sounds so sweet coming out of your mouth” he smiles and kisses your lips. He helps you get dressed and fixes himself and you and drives back him , and he sees your mom there.

“You guys finally came, kun should cook for us” your mom says with a smile

“Oh me and y/n ate outside, I thought you were going to eat with your friends?” He says curiously.

“Oh , yeah we ate together but it wasn't a big meal , what a shame” she sighs. You felt at that moment really bad for doing that with the man she loves , but it kept going on , whenever your mom wasn't around , you'd just walk and sit with him and talk a bit before you find him on top of you fucking you as you plead him to fuck you harder.

One day , you went to a party and came back late at midnight. You saw a figure standing in the kitchen..it was kun , what is he doing at this hour? He usually sleeps early? Was the first thing you thought of.

“Why are you late?” He asked in a slightly sleepy tone. Hearing his voice sends shivers through your spine.

“Well , I was gonna come early but my friends begged me to stay” you smile awkwardly

“Sure” he looks at you , he looks tired…very tired.

“Why are you awake now anyways?” You ask worried

“Well your mom was worried , cause you're so I had to calm her , she just went to bed..” he says angrily.

“Oh..I'm sorry” you whisper as you hear him sigh. He suddenly pulls you against the kitchen counter.

“You think sorry will do anything?” He asks angrily, trapping you between his body and the counter , you shake your head in guilt. He grips on your chin tightly making you look at him in the eyes and attacks your lips , you were shocked but you returned the kiss. He kept kissing you for what felt like forever as you pulled away to take your breath as he pulled you to your room.

“Get naked” he commands as you nod and strip out of your clothes and get on the bed , he gets on top of you and kisses your lips again before taking off his pants , he brings the lube and puts a generous amount on his cock before he starts getting inside you. And you moan at the sensation of his cock in your tight pussy.

“Do fucking tight” he chuckles and thrust inside you.

“Please daddy…be gentle” you plead but he ignores your pleas.

“Why would I be gentle when you're acting like a whore coming late at night in that dress that makes you look like a slut?” he says.

“I'm sorry , I won't do that again I swear”

“Keep talking like that and I won't let you even cum” he says strictly, you shut your mouth as he continues thrusting inside you , hitting all the right spots..he knows you…more than he should.

“Oh you're much better than that old hag in the other room” he whispers , his red hair sticking to his forehead due to the sweat on it, he pulls your lips in a sloppy kiss as you moan against his lips as you felt like you're at the edge.

“Please daddy…I'm gonna cum” you beg

“Not now” he says as he thrusts more inside you , your eyes roll back trying to hold back your orgasm. He thrusts faster inside you for a few times before he releases his seeds inside you , he slows down before speaking up.

“You can cum now” as you heard these words you immediately release your orgasm, he pulls out of you , as you calm down from your high taking a deep breath.

“You okay now?” He whispers as he lays next to you kissing your lips. You nod , as he smiles and stands up and helps you get up and you two shower together and change your bed sheet and he sneaks back to your mom's room after leaving a peck on his lips