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russellsppttemplates · 1 year ago

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Promise (Lewis Hamilton)

The season has kept Lewis so busy he hasn't been paying attention to you in the way you needed

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time on hold (since april), I'm finally posting this one. The timeline is a bit bent to fit what I already had written for what was requested, so I hope you don't mind it too much! Hopefully the person who requested this is still around and reading this ✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions loss of friendships, curse words

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to make it. Lew already asked me to go see him race that weekend, I have booked the flights and managed to clear my work schedule too", you said to your friend after she practically ambushed you into have a coffee with her after work, "c'mon, I don't even feel like we've seen eachother recently. You're either at work or with Lewis. It's like you don't have time for me, or rather don't make it", she groaned and you frowned. You met up with her not even 10 days ago, and while you couldn't see her everyday, you managed to text her back with reasonable timing everytime she had any issues or needed some comfort, so hearing those words and accusations for what you recalled the third time over the last few weeks threw you off. Was it really something you deserved? You wondered, maybe you really weren't being the best of friends given everything happening in your life.

"It's been hard, my schedule has been all over the place. I've been quite tired and I honestly just want to relax at home when I get back from work, we've had a lot of clients, which has been good for the business, but there's also been a lot more effort in making everything work smoothly", you tried to offer her your point of view, knowing yourself that there were days you could barely answer your boyfriend back simple questions, both of happy and content to either just cuddle when he was home or have a quick videocall whenever he was away, letting you get your deserved rest.

"Do you have everything, darling?", Lewis said over the phone as you fastened the zip on your suitcase, "yes. Angela said that she could come and meet me with my passes. Apparently there was an issue with printing them, my name or something, I'm not sure, but she said they were good now", you recalled, looking back at your boyfriend on the screen while he smiled, "I can't wait to have you here with me", he admitted, making your heart soft, "it's been really difficult, the car and all, and I know having you here will be good".

The next day, like you had arranged, you met up with Angela at the entrance of the GP, greeting her with a smile before she noticed it, "was your flight that bad?", she wondered, "you look a bit off, dear", she explained herself better, "it was okay, just had trouble sleeping because of this crazy schedule", you tried your best to brush it off. You had looked at yourself in the mirror, and had noticed the eye bags, the veins around your eyes much stronger and, truly, you knew no one would believe you were okay, but you guessed trying wouldn't be hard, and despite feeling like Angela caught on, she decided to drop the subject, handing you your pass and grabbing your suitcase once you reached the hospitality so she could store it in a safe place.

"Hey, Y/N", George smiled, greeting you as you both walked down to the garage, "Lewis mentioned you'd be joining us today", he said, opening the door for you before following you by your side, "the flight was delayed a little, and there was traffic here, or at least my driver said it isn't usually that busy, so I got here to the sound of the engines already", you pouted, grabbing a headset for yourself from the wall.

"I'll be in there with Toto and Mick, we'll speak later, okay? Carmen is also travelling tomorrow night", George said as he walked up to sit with the rest of the team, sitting this session out as they had chosen to have Frederik drive this session on his place.

The free practice sessions did not go all that well, especially considering how you knew Lewis and the whole team would have wanted them to go, so when Lewis came out of the last session, the team allowed them a few hours so they could rest up a little and get re-energised before debriefing.

"Hey, gorgeous", Lewis said as he walked up to you, "I'm so happy you're here", he mumbled against the thin skin on your neck, taking in your scent and presence as your arms wrapped around his torso.

"Do you want to talk about it?", you asked, running your fingers on his back as the slight scratch from your nails soothed him as you walked to sit on the sofa, "I can't bring the car to the front, it's like I can't do it. We've worked so hard on it, the team has come up with so many improvements and yet it still isn't reaching the front, there's no comparison", he let it put, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, "and I can't do it either, it's my fault too, I just want to make us a competitive team again, having fights every weekend for the P1, and yet, here we are".

Kissing his knuckles, you looked up at him through your lashes, "it will all add up, my love", you caressed his skin, "there's no way your efforts won't be rewarded, you just have to keep going, keep fighting, keep rising", you smiled, seeing the corner of his lips move upwards, "one day at a time, all will be well, you just have to keep going, we just have to keep going with those we love most", you muttered, joining your foreheads so they could touch.

Silverstone always had a big buzz around it, so you always took the week off, "remember last year? Your friends also joined us for the party", Lewis recalled as you sat in the hospitality. Media duties had long been taken care of and Lewis wanted to hang out in the meal area in case anyone needed him before you retired to his room.

"Yeah, it was a good time", you mumbled, reliving the memories in your head. You had had dinner and partied until early hours of the night with some of your friends, who were that at the time.

The previous week, your friend had been very assertive when she called you to show her displeasure of your lack of effort to meet up with her, telling you how much you had changed and how it wasn't fair that you could only meet up once or twice a month, "it's not fair to us or to our friendship, so unless this changes, I don't see how we can carry on". The accusations were not false, you recognised that you couldn't be as present as much as before, but the premise she was holding it on seemed wrong to you. And as much as it bothered you and pained you, calling it quits was the best decision in the long run. You had enough things on your plate, and having to reassure her that you were still there for her despite all the mean comments and accusations she would throw at you, wether they were about how much time you spent working or how Lewis wasn't the right person for you, was not something you wanted to endure for your own well-being.

"How is she, by the way?", Lewis questioned as he drank his water.

"We are not friends anymore, things just didn't work out", you offered quietly, not wanting to dwell much on the topic or have your boyfriend worry about one more thing.

"Y/N!", Lewis heard Carmen call, seeing his teammate's girlfriend approach you, warmly greeting him as well before he left you two alone for some catching up, "call me if you need anything", your boyfriend said, kissing the top of your head sweetly before leaving you two to speak and moving to the table where Angela was sitting.

"Is she feeling better?", Angela asked him, nodding over to you with her eyes and smiling as you spoke to the spanish women, the genuine easiness radiating from you.

"Y/N? She's been well, I think...", he said, unsure of his own answer. You hadn't talked much about how you were feeling, and he definitely wanted to follow up on what you had just been talking about when you were comfortable, but other than that, he had no clue. Work had been busier as you received more clients and you needed a little more time to rest that usual, and you had been tagging out of plans family and friends tried to make with you. Maybe Angela was right and there was something going on.

"You should talk to her, see how everything is, Lewis. I know she has a habit of bottling everything, and while I figured she'd talk to you and bring it up, and that it would help, I'm not sure it's enough", she patted his back as she allowed him to process the situation.

Later that night, back in your hotel bedroom, you had just come out of the shower, grabbing your toiletries' bag so you could moisturise your skin, propping your leg on the bed so you could rub the product into the skin as you heard Lewis walk around the room.

As you moved to adjust your towell while you put on your underwear, you felt Lewis' hands on your shoulders before his lips pressed kisses to your clean skin, his touch so soft and tender that it melted you inside.

"Can we talk about something, darling?", he asked, moving to sit in front of you, taking his place on the bed as Roscoe joined him.

"Sure, love. Are you okay? Is something wrong?", you promptly offered, ready to be all ears to his worries as Roscoe found his perfect spot on the comforter.

"It's about you, actually", he said as you pulled your top on, leaving the towell on the bathroom before coming back to sit on the bed, "what about me?", you asked, unsure of the topic was.

"How have you been? And I don't want to hear 'I'm okay' or 'just tired from work', because that's most definitely not the truth", Lewis began, holding your hand in his, "I've been so blind to all of this, and I only noticed now just how much you're being affected, and I want to know what it is and how I can help you", he gulped, "I've been so caught up in my own things and I've missed this, I'm so sorry, Y/N", he looked into your eyes.

You knew you had been unable to hide it. And now, you couldn't escape it.

Taking a deep breath, you traced the tattoos on his hand, the seamless way the ink flowed mesmerising as you allowed yourself to become vulnerable to him, opening up about your friendships and how everything at work was both the thing that has been keeping you sane and afloat, but also buried in doubt.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry I didn't notice this", Lewis apoligised, "I've been so absorbed in getting the results we need for the team, and-", you interrupted him, knowing the wasn't the one to blame.

"Lew, I didn't want to burden you with this, it's my own doing, too", you admitted, wanting to stop the whole blame spiral going on between both of you.

"Still, I should've noticed", he tsked at himself, holding you in his arms as you cuddled into his chest, "you shouldn't have to go through that alone, no one should. I want you to tell me anything that bothers you. My career is not above us, it will never be", he said as he looked into your eyes, "and, for all that matters, the decision to end the friendship was for the better. And I know you know this, and it still hurts, and that's okay. Roscoe, buddy", he called, "come give mummy a big, big cuddle", he smiled as the dog attended to his request.

"I'm sorry, too", you said as you petted Roscoe, his snores showing you he was enjoying them, "just wanted to be a happy and cheerful partner, and support you", you reiterated.

"From now on, promise you'll tell me anything that bothers you?", he assured as you smiled, kissing his lips as a seal of your promise, "I promise".

"I love you, Y/N, and it's me, you and Roscoe against the world", Lewis said.

"Agains the world and the rest of the paddock?", you joked, "just about, yes".

#lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton fanfic #f1 x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine

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velvetydream · 8 months ago

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꒰ :🥀 [ The harsh daily life - Welcome to Aurora ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Part 4 - The harsh daily life

Summary : Finally having found the perfect job for you on the ship, a new mistery arose. The name of a mysterious woman slipping past the sleeping captains lips.

Pairing : Pirate! Hongjoong x Fem! Reader

Word count : 1883 Words

Genre : Genre : Fluff, Romance, Slow Burn

Warnings ➵ None??

a/n : Still so sorry for not posting this last week! Just been rly caught of with my exam this week and also just overall being stressed by school! I'll tr to write next 2 or 3 chapters this weekend tho so I got a lil puffer for the next weeks!♡

《 Masterlist 》

┌───────────────────────── · · · · ♡

Your day wasn't over after the quick meal you had with Wooyoung and Seonghwa. Right now you were sitting in the crows nest with Wooyoung, him explaining his job to you, you were quit glad that you were with Wooyoung right now and didn't had to train with Jongho again.

"I'm glad that you decided to tag along with us, it's gonna be a lot of fun." You were just as glad as Wooyoung, was he the one you should be the most thankful to, he was the one to help you stay on this ship, with this crew.

"What did you want to tell me while we were eating? About the captain?" Curiosity getting the better of you like always, now looking at Wooyoung who shifts a bit uncomfortably by your question. "I can't tell you, Seonghwa was right, it's Hongjoongs secret, either he tells you himself or you won't know, I'm sorry." His answer made you pout slightly but you could also understand, you probably wouldn't want your secrets spilled out to everyone either. "It's okay, maybe I will know someday." Looking out of the crows nest again, you look to the horizon where the sea meets the sky. It's still not late, maybe the middle of the day, the sun was standing high above the two of you, making it quit hot up in the crows nest.

"Hey Wooyoung! Mind giving away the princess for a bit?" Mingis voice was heard suddenly, looking up at the two of you with a smile on his face. "Sure! See you later." Wooyoung tells you, as you make your way town carefully, Mingi still staying at the bottom of the net, in case you needed help or need to be caught im case you slipped. "Thank you for agreeing to helping me, I really need the help. You can read right?" Mingi asks, following him into the captains cabin, Hongjoong not in sight. With a yes to his question, Mingi gets out a box from a cabinet and pulls up a second chair. "I'm in charge of keeping the maps organised and also having a protocol of the kingdoms and islands we visited by now." Mingi explains, sitting down on Hongjoongs chair, he probably did this in his room, as it had the biggest desk and also wouldn't have any disturbances. "You can sort the maps alphabetical for now." Mingi explains, getting out a pencil to start drawing on the map, probably adding islands they recently discovered.

Now sorting the maps, you sometimes look at the few books on the desk, on each one of them was written the word 'Ateez' and Aurora, looking up at Mingi now you speak up again, : "On the books, the word Ateez, what is that?" Immediately after finishing your sentence Mingi let's out a chuckle, laying down his pencil. "You are currently on the ship Aurora with the crew Ateez, Ateez is our Crew name." Mingi explains to you, before going back to sketching the map.

After a while the door opens and closes, in walks the captain, taking of his coat and hat and laying down on his bed, eyeing the two of you.

"Is she good help Mingi?" The captain speaks up now, closing his eyes, your eyes stay fixated on the maps you were sorting though. "Definitely, it was getting a bit to much for myself, so I'm glad for her help." He praises you, making a smile appear on your face. "I see, well don't be to loud please, I want to take a nap." Putting his hat over his face now, the captain trys to fall asleep, while you and Mingi go on with your work.

After probably two hours you and Mingi finished, standing up and leaving the room carefully so you won't wake up the captain.

"You seem to get along with everyone quit fine, it's nice to see that you're getting used to being on here." Mingi talks while walking around the deck with you, nodding when someone greets the both of you. "Everyone is quit nice, so it's really easy to adapt to the crew and get used to them." A nod was seen from Mingi as you two continue your little stroll along the ship. "Just wishing everyone would start to call me by my name, Y/N, and not princess, I'm not a princess anymore." Explaining this to Mingi, he send a sympathetic glance towards you. "You just have to tell us and we will gladly call you that Y/N." A relieved sigh leaves your lips, hoping that all of them would call you that soon.

"But you can't expect all of us to call you that, you're the princess of our crew now, isn't that right Wooyoung?" San smirks, while approaching you and Mingi, Wooyoung following and speaking up now, : "You're right, she'll stay the princess of this ship." Rolling your eyes slightly, you still couldn't suppress a laugh. "That's okay then, as long as you two still know my name." Now it was the turn of the two man to laugh, telling you they would never forget your name ever.

After talking with the three man a while, Seonghwa soon approaches you with two plates in his hands, by now the sun was starting to go down, painting the sky and sea in a beautiful orange and pink sky.

"You should eat enough, tomorrow the training will continue." Handing you the plate, Seonghwa sits down on the railing, followed by you.

"San told me about a few of the memebers, how long have the others been here?" Seonghwa looks your way now, laying his fork down on his plate. "Me and Hongjoong started this, a small boat, we ran away from our homes and never returned. Yunho joined us shortly after that, a few other man joining too, the ship always getting bigger to have more place. Yeosang and Wooyoung joined us together, we found them stranded on an island, no one knowing where they're from or who their family is. San is a runaway, like me and Hongjoong, that's why we took him in, we saw ourselves in him. Mingi joined shortly after him, his father was a knight, but he didn't want to live that life, so he joined us. Jongho has been here the shortest, he sneaked onto our ship one night and the next after we sat sail we found him, Hongjoong was mad I tell you, but after noticing his abilitys he made him part of the main crew quickly." Glancing at you a few times, you take the information in. It was quit a lot of information to take in.

"It's a lot of information I know, but everyone on this ship has their own story, past and secrets." At the word secrets you had to think back to Hongjoong, what secret did Wooyoung want to tell you.

"Eat up, the captain want's to have a little talk with you." Bidding his goodbye, Seonghwa takes his now empty plate and walks away, probably to bring it into the kitchen.

You finished quickly, bringing your plate away and making your way to the captains cabin, knocking once and then twice. It was quiet. So you slowly opened the door, walking in and closing the door again.

Hongjoong was layed on his bed, his hat still over his face, his right leg over the other one. Walking closer, you ask yourself if the captain was sleeping or awake and already noticed you.

Reaching out a hand hesitatingly, you take of the hat and to your surprise, was the captain still asleep. His eyes closes, just now did you notice his long lashes, his face for once looked soft and relaxed, much different to the either scowling or smirking face. Placing the hat on his desk, you walk over to him again reaching out again to wake him up, but stopping midway, as a word or more like, a name slips past his lips.

Jiwon

Confused you now place your hand on the captains shoulder, shaking him awake slightly. Said man opens his eyes and looks up at you, as he sits up with a groan and stretches his arms out.

"Seonghwa said you wanted to talk to me." You explain why you were disturbing the captains sleep, the female name however still on your mind. "Ah yes, I wanted to see how you're holding up, Mingi praised you a lot today and even Yunho was pleased with how fast you are learning." His voice sounded rough from sleep, as he now sits at the edge of his bed and starts putting on his boots again. "Ah I'm just glad and happy that I can be of help on this ship." Hongjoong glances your way shortly, before continuing to tie his boots. "You will be helping Mingi from now on, study our books and read some others too, you're one of the few people that can read, we need every help that we can get with the books." He now stands up, stretching again. You just agree and are now send out again, still wanting to know who that name belonged to and the best person to ask was Wooyoung.

Making your way over to the quarter deck where Wooyoung was leaning on the railing, talking to San.

"Wooyoung! Can I talk to you for a moment?" He send you a nod, guiding you further to the back of the quarter deck, asking you what you wanted to talk about.

"I have a question about the ship, did you ever have a woman called Jiwon on board?" As soon as Wooyoung heard that name, he went pale, looking around. "Where did you hear that name? No one is even allowed to mention that name!" Speaking in a hushed tone now, Wooyoung looks at you with furrowed brows and a serious look on his face. "Hongjoong was talking in his sleep when I wanted to wake him up." A slightly scared look on your face now, caused by his reaction. "Okay, you're not allowed to speak to anyone about that name do you understand me? No one. Tell no one that you heard that name, especially not the captain, got that?" Wooyoung makes sure to make you promise you this, which you did.

Of course his reaction to that name made the question mark in your head just grow bigger.

Who was that woman? Was she a crew member? Was the captain close to her? Where was she now?

Walking away from a visibly disturbed Wooyoung, you make your way to your room, a lot of the people already under the deck sleeping. Upon arriving in the room, you start to change into the dress shirt from Seonghwa again and lay down on the bed, facing the ceiling again, which was painted a night blue and had lots of stars painted on there.

This crew may be your new family, but you still didn't get a lot of their doings or opinions.

The most questionable one was definitely Hongjoong, followed by Jongho, even Wooyoung seemed weird after the last talk you had with him not long ago. Maybe you should just ignore and forget it for now, sooner or later you'll probably hear and understand their motives.

#x reader #imagines #imagine #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez #ateez pirate #ateez pirate au #kim hongjoong x y/n #kim hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong #pirate hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong #pirate hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x y/n #hongjoong x you

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thewritingcoroner · 2 years ago

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I done got frustrated

My desire to keep my opinions to myself managed to last most of the day. New record tbh.

So like I wrote this big long rant a couple of weeks ago and decided against sharing it while I was still frustrated. But I do feel like maybe there is a larger discussion to be had! I think it's important that we as a writeblr community really take a look at why so many of us are getting so frustrated so often and how we as a community and as individuals can work towards an actually community vs a corner of social media. @blind-the-winds did an excellent job of explaining some of what I'm seeing as well in relation to why a lot of positivity and support posts and such ring hollow to so many of us. I wanted to bring a slightly different perspective to things coming from a marketing/social media marketing background. Under the cut out of respect for everyone's dashboards lol

This is going to get INCREDIBLY LONG. So I have a read more here. Behold, the bitchfest.

So this started today when I was chatting with an irl friend and expressing my frustrations about writeblr in general as a community. And what I've recognized now is this: writeblr isn't really much of a community, and it is very rare to find other creators and writers who are willing to treat you (the hypothetical writer) as another human being with a love for the same craft they do. Those people who do treat you like people are some of the loveliest people I've found on the internet, but they are hard to find.

Now, to be clear, I don't think the problem is completely writeblr's fault, nor do I believe it is any one or two or five hundred individual's fault. The problem comes from a number of different sources, and my friend did a great job of helping me see the problem from a number of different perspectives.

The problem being this: it is impossible to get engagement on posts that feature original long-form writing, and it is exceedingly difficult to effectively foster meaningful connections with other writers.

Some disclaimers: it's not impossible, and the people who successfully receive engagement on their long-form writing tend to be the people who are the exceptions proving the rule. Also, by "engagement" I mean any interaction that serves to both consume the content and spread the content. "Original" writing refers to writing that is not fandom related, and "long-form" means 1k words or more.

Do you think 1k words is a little short for "long-form" writing? Me too. I'll get to that.

I'll start my explanation here with what catalyzed these revelations in my little head. Over night, I got quite a few new followers, all directly coming from a post that got mildly popular here on writeblr. So, I looked at what other posts of mine have been popular, and I started to notice a trend.

My most popular posts tend to fit into one of three categories: memes, tag games, and boost posts/recommendations. Memes tend to be popular because they're funny and easy to spread, and as long as they fit the theme, they don't ruin a blog's aesthetic. Tag games get more interaction because I am directly tagging people to see the post. But the popularity for those posts tend to stop at the half dozen to a dozen people tagged in each given post (the person or people tagging me, and the several people I tag to continue the game). The last category is most interesting to me, the boost posts and recommendations.

Here's the thing, I only boost or rec other writers and blogs if I have invested interest and care into the person behind the blog and their content. AKA, I only really boost friends and writers I admire/like their content. It's great to see that those posts get popular with people outside my circle, but out of those three categories, none of them feature my own content.

Why is that?

It seems like every day I see a new post with a few thousand notes at least complaining about a lack of interaction on writeblr and the importance of reblogs and blah blah I rarely stop to read those let alone spread them. And a few dots connected, I think.

If my content isn't getting interaction, and your content isn't getting interaction, then what is? And I think the answer is this: memes, advice, and boosts.

Memes and advice are self-explanatory. But boosts are interesting because you will see everyone hop on to rec other people or more frequently market themselves, but they stop there. And I see my greatest influx of interaction and new followers when I boost other people's works or blogs.

My conclusion is that many people are using writeblr as a hustle and not a community. In a community we engage with each other, talk to each other, enjoy each other's company. And I've found many mutuals to be very lovely people who I do enjoy and who I love to engage with and who I like to genuinely call my friends. I like a lot of yall for different reasons too! Some of you are great hype buddies, some of yall are all about that accountability buddy system, and I really love when I get to have intellectual conversations about the craft and different concepts with different members of writeblr too.

But largely, I find that a lot of people who engage once with my blog, usually on those boost posts, or who ask for engagement more frequently than when frustration strikes, tend to be the people who think of writeblr as a hustle. They see that I (and many other writers) will boost and rec our friends, and jump on that bandwagon, but instead of putting in the effort to get to know us and our work, they say what needs to be said, hop on trends, and avoid any genuine connection.

So what gives?

It's not the individual writers, I think. It's the nature of social media, marketing, and the medium.

Listen, I work in marketing, and long-form writing is a dying art that is very difficult to market. I genuinely think the concept of "tldr" really ruined a lot of people's ability to engage with longer form writing. Whether that be nonfiction opinion posts or actual fiction. Tumblr is one of the only places I can think of where long-form writing is a feasible medium to post at all, let alone gain a following for.

Think about it: instagram is best suited for images, videos, and short-form aestheticized poetry. Twitter has a character limit that requires long threads of individual tweets or images to get your message across. Pitch events are well-suited for twitter because your pitch by definition needs to be short. But sharing actual summaries, snippets, or excerpts? Not really possible. Tiktok is for videos, which as we know can be utilized, but is not the most efficient method of marketing written word. Ao3 is an archive with an excellent tagging system, but to get readers, outside marketing is required. Facebook requires a real name, and isn't really well suited for content creation either. Wattpad, Royal Road, and others are great for posting actual works, but they don't necessarily have well-functioning tag systems that help the author find their audience. That really just leaves Tumblr. Pillowfort is also an option, though it's still so in the beginning phase of development that it's pretty difficult to get started there.

It's well known in marketing that images and videos catch attention and long paragraphs of text (AKA what most prose looks like) tend to be scrolled past. The very nature of the long-form writing medium is against most marketing techniques. Marketing long-form writing needs to look different from any other medium.

All that being said: the culture of social media engagement has shifted, and this is a conversation that fandom has been having and I think has actually been doing well discussing the different facets of how the culture has shifted. Fandom (and content creation in general) is seen as a commodity to be consumed. Consumers want to see the content, maybe save it for later, and then move on to the next piece. This is easily done with visual mediums, but writing mediums are especially vulnerable to this culture shift because it does require so much time and energy to consume, let alone engage.

Creators don't see their work as a commodity to be consumed, but it is now. When consumers view a piece of visual media, they view the image (consume it) and then move to the next, some will spread it to others by engaging with the picture through reblogs or sending the post to someone else. But most often, there will be a "like" to tell the creator good job, and then scroll to the next. This is harder to do with written media unless one has the time and energy to read the piece. There's the extra step of critical thought.

To put it a different way, the market is flooded with content and creators. With so much to choose from, the consumer now does not have to participate in the community to ensure continued creation. There will be another creator tomorrow. The consumer no longer feels connected to a community of their interests, it is simply being sold to them.

So back to writeblr, this is where I am at a crossroads. I am tired of creating content to be consumed, I want community. But also, I have nowhere else to turn. I can either completely withdraw from what sliver of community I have found, or I can keep trucking along, create my stuff, play the games we play, chat with the people I do like and do care about, and hope that I don't get too frustrated one day and leave for good.

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amanitacurses · 7 months ago

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Let me guess, you no longer want to draw requests because the first person who asked you grossed you out?

I have no idea where this is coming from, genuinely.

My requests have been closed for a while. If I'm taking requests I'll make a post, then take the post down after I'm done taking them (so I don't get overwhelmed) - I haven't had a post up for requests at the very least a week (but I think longer) as far as I recall. Next time I feel the vibes for requests, I'll make a post - they aren't closed forever, but they aren't constantly open.

The last time I took requests I actually did do the one I received first - so I don't know what this ask is referring to with that.

Also I don't know why anyone would have grossed me out - I didn't get any asks that would be considered gross (and I'm not investigating askers' blogs,,,). Also I'd block anyone that legitimately weirded me out (or otherwise didn't pass the vibe check)

There's quite a few requests I just didn't vibe with, or I'm holding onto to do at a later point. I'm not obligated to do any requests, if you're upset I didn't draw yours ┐⁠(⁠‘⁠～⁠`⁠;⁠)⁠┌

I got a few different requests and I quite honestly just wasn't taking requests at that moment, so made a post so people would hold off until next time I'm taking them (which could be in a few days, or a few weeks - whenever the vibe hits). I added in my tags the dm part so people would know that too. It wasn't targeted at anyone, I just wanted to make people aware.

To end this, why would you send this to someone? Like, I don't think this is how we should talk to others, it's in such bad faith and unwarranted. It's very guilt trippy, I don't know if that's intentional or what, but I can't interpret it as anything but. I don't know you, I don't know what you're referring to - I had absolutely no thoughts, head empty in regards to you prior to this ask because I don't know you (completely neutral). Me not taking asks right now clearly upset you, but that's for you to work on with yourself - it's not me, a random artist's place to placate/reassure you. I can tell you for sure no one made me close my asks, they've been closed, and I open them when I'm in the mood to get more (I have to be in the headspace for it).

No one did anything wrong, no one caused me to close my asks, maybe don't send stuff like this to people

#ask #genuinely baffled #why would I think someone's gross??#I literally don't know who this is referring to which just confuses me more #makes me concerned someone actually sent me something weird and it went over my head or something #this is probably just someone who thought they upset me and didn't know how to approach it appropriately #but also this was an upsetting ask to receive #and I don't think they should've approached it this way and I hope they learn from this #first instinct was to block but I want them to know no one did anything #delete later

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moonshine-nightlight · 1 year ago

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Will all of Dale out, I took the time over the past few days to reread all of it (pretty much all I did because sleep work and eat!) And oh man, I wish I could experience it anew again! To see how far you as a writer had come during the entirely of this, and seeing how sana and Dale grew and changed together.. it was just so well done!

Do you have plans to visit them again, in the future? Couldn't help but notice some things were left unfinished ;) and also I would LOVE to hear certain parts of the story from Dale's perspective. Those last few chapters when we finally *finally* got to peer into who he really is just made me want more!

And again, thank you for all the time and effort you put into this series. I don't think I'll ever forget it! (I also really like some of your shorter series, I went back to read them again too!)

@watch-out-for-them

thanks for sending this in! that's so sweet! i've hoarded this for a month because december flew by so fast

i do have some idea for little bonus stories and for full stories that take place in the same universe/setting (with a name-drop or mention of Dale and Sana etc), but no proper sequel is currently planned. One of the bonuses would be what you mentioned - specifically Chapter 6 (Walk in the Garden) from Dale's POV - as well as other ideas. it is hard to write companions stories from another POV if the main POV is 2nd person lol. I've helpful sorted my handful or ideas into categories because i lov to organize in excel instead of writing (the categories are: pre, mid, & post story; AU; Parody; and Outside POV)

one in particular i wanted to get out before the year ended, but i'm not quite done with it. originally after Chapter 24 (Assassin Aftermath) Sana was going to have a spicy dream about Dale, which is referenced in Chapter 25 as having happened, but which was originally going to be in the story proper. however, not only was a behind in writing with the story ending up longer than i planned, but it became hard to figure out how it would work since Sana thought Dale knew but he didn't and i didn't want be to get confused about that, also Sana wouldn't know the truth of how the Depths worked or Dale's backstory so i couldn't include much of that (because i didnt want ppl to think Dale could lik dreamwalk etc or something). It jsut got to be a weird balancing act that i didnt have time to figure out so i didn't. however, i decided to make a bonus/AU divergence where I changed the fight scene and did have Dale come to talk to Sana after the fight alone and stuff~ happens~.

this side path/AU story is what i wanted to get out over the holidays and which i have made progress on, but still isn't finished. i will try to get it out within the week (the modified end-of-fight to have an obvious reveal is done and i might put out today or tomorrow since its just a tweaked chapter 23). I've got over 3k for the new chapter and have been making progress, it just will not be done today lol

thank you so much for reading and sending in this ask! getting messages and comments and tags like this make all the effort worth it! ^^

#asks #nothing's wrong with dale #dale bonus #story status #news on writing #this bonus will probably b the last think i write/post before the Work Time begins #where i will be unavailable for lik min 3 months lol

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neriyon · 1 month ago

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Then vs Now (November 2019 > November 2024)

Thank you for the tag @stalwart-spirit ! I think most have already done this, so I'll skip tagging anyone directly this time. This is an open invitation to tag me if you get inspired to make your own post tho! I'd love to see what everyone's blorbos used to look like ♥

Gasp, he barely looks different! Hawu'li's actually only ever had one hairstyle change - from the starter hairstyle to the one he has now - during which I also swapped his original forehead dot to the red makeup on the outer corners of his eyes. I did have him cosplaying Popola/Devola for like a month or two back when Tower released, but other than that his looks have been the same ever since that fateful day in post-HW patches where I got annoyed about his mullet clipping through his healer outfit (￣▽￣)"

Since I took the trouble to go digging through old screenshots for this tag game, I'll add some older extra pics and rambling under the cut~

Don't think I ever posted these here, but yeah I had a full Popola/Devola cosplay going on for couple of months after getting that top on patch day haha. Red hair looked pretty nice on him, but wearing anything blue felt weird while I had it, so sometime around when Paglth'an dropped I swapped back to his normal hair.

The True Oldest Screenshot I have of this game, taken Sept. 29 2019 while waiting for Nana (brd) to finish a quest so we could go do Praetorium for the first time (we started playing somewhere around mid-august). I didn't even know how to hide HUD back then, so pls ignore the uh, very weirdly set skill bars.

First meeting with the bratty red cat + first time I could measure Hawu'li next to the pretty blue elf (Dec 4th and Nov 26th). There's like 5+ pics from the CT questline of just... me parking Hawu'li next to G'raha and trying to mimic his pose lmao. I wasn't even shipping them back then, I just found it very fun that they are the same height + share the same face base (and tail).

Very zoomed in since this was from a cutscene, but the last pic I have of Hawu'li with his old hair AND literally the only shot I ever got where his little forehead dot is visible. His bangs covered it most of the time, so I chose to take it away when changing his hair. (Dec 4th, according to screenshot dates I changed his hair less than week later)

Some of the few good shots left of Maito (Jan 19th 2020 / Feb 15th / Feb 18th), my first alt who actually finished MSQ before Hawu'li (with whom I was waiting for friends). She no longer exists at all: she was fantasia'd to Yusui (her older brother) sometime during ShB patches, who in turn was later fantasia'd to Einn sometime after EW gave us bunnyboys. I sort of miss her sometimes (Einn has a retainer made with her characer creation save data but that's not quite same), and have thought doing some silly stuff and maybe merging her and Momo in some way, but we'll see if I ever actually go through with that.

#honestly hawu'li might've had the gyr abanian plait or pvp hair had i changed his hair later #or even form and function #plait was too pricey for a small sprout (as was form and function)#and pvp was scawwy and i didn't want to go there #so i picked the one cheap AND cute hairstyle i could pick lol #uhhhhh what else #hawu'li is smn in many of these bc while i started as whm and have been playing healer since then #i was scared of healing 8-man content for some reason #so i leveled smn for them lol #i should look through these old shots more lol #there's some really great ones from msq cutscenes #hawu'li has really emotive face so he gets some fun expressions during some cutscenes #also so many “two of them” pics lol #(he and g'raha often stand in identical poses near eachother during cutscenes which really reminds me of that meme)#tag games #purple catboy

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valeffelees · 10 months ago

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An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

thank you kindly for tagging me @shrekgogurt @youarenevertooold, and @monbons i've been seeing this game make its rounds on my dash and was really hoping someone would pull me in!

🦈 Tell us the name of one of your WIP(s)

my main three wips at the moment are without sun, ballad of the final sparrow, which is more commonly known as bitverse, and fragile things (and how to break them), but i've also been fucking around a bit the last two or three weeks with a new (terrible, evil, very self-indulgent) wip called god-forbid.

🍄 Describe one of your WIPs in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

i think i might be dumb bc i don't understand this question at all.

🌍 What tags or warnings will your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

bitverse: heavy angst, psychological horror elements, alcohol abuse, allusions to suicide, unhealthy coping mechanisms, dead dove: do not eat.

🧭 An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

ballad of the final sparrow -> baz is typing fragile things (and how to break them) -> there's a werewolf in london god-forbid -> the gap between a tragedy and comedy

⚠️ Which WIP you’re most likely to finish or update next?

i have no idea. i mean, you'd think the answer would be without sun since it's the only fic i actually have posted at the moment, but unfortunately i am an untrustworthy villain.

💾 What is the document of your WIP called? (Not the story title, but what you’ve saved it as.)

same as the fic title. if i start a new wip and don't know what to call it, i'll pick something at random and add (working title) at the end.

🖍 Post any sentence from your WIP

from without sun:

“You don’t like peppermint,” he says. But maybe she does. Maybe that’s one more thing he can add to his growing list of things he got wrong about Agatha Wellbelove. No. 1 — Dislikes peppermint; actually, she is quite fond of it. No. 2 — Likes Simon Snow; him, not so much.

♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP

one of the biggest changes i made to the plot of without sun really early on was penelope's role in the story. i had a clear idea of the story i wanted to tell as soon as i saw the prompt for the fic. without sun was always supposed to be about more than simon and baz. the story is about grief and love, and the space we take up in the lives of the people around us. but n e way, in my orig draft, penny was actually supposed to be able to communicate with simon a bit, and there was gonna be a whole sect of scenes in the middle of the fic where they sat around together trying to break simon's curse what we know and what we don't know style via passing notes. i ended up tossing this idea really quickly tho, and i'm glad i did bc one of my favourite moments i've ever written in any fic happens in chapter two of without sun and it belongs to simon and penny.

🤔 What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

so many. or, well—what counts as "haven't even started"? i hate to let ideas sit around in my head bc it feels like leaving raspberries in the fridge for too long, like that shit is gonna get mould on it, so usually the first thing i do is rough out a few scenes and/or script out a very rough outline of the plot (like this / this / this style) so that i have something to come back to later. i have dozens of zero drafts just lying tf around. but otherwise, yeah, so many. one big idea i have is called heart on fire and it's based on fanart, but i haven't started it yet bc obvs i wanna get permission from the artist first but i've been holding off reaching out to them about it until i've knocked a few of my less intimidating longfics off my wip list bc heart on fire is gonna fucking hefty so i don't wanna give'r until i'm sure i can manage it.

🤡 How many WIPs are you actively working on?

LMFAO

🛠 Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

i'm having a real bitch of a time with agatha's main scene in chapter two of without sun, i've been fighting with it on and off for months, but i can't get it to do what i want it to do.

❤️ Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

cheers!

sorry for any doubles but, tagging: @drowninginships @cosmicalart @that-disabled-princess @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @artsyunderstudy @thewholelemon @roomwithanopenfire @hushed-chorus @blackberrysummerblog @imagineacoolusername @nightimedreamersworld @prettygoododds @confused-bi-queer @mooncello and an open tag for anybody else who wants to procrastinate their wips!

#tag game

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the-mirage-forest · 6 months ago

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Short Story Time!

Wrote a short story last week about Shi and some of his backstory + the aftermath, here's a link: Google Doc

I'm not sure if I'll publish future ones also in google doc, making one long post with it is probably unviable for them, archiving them on Ao3 feels like a decent option but I don't know how tagging would work.

Anyway, because I haven't posted the bios for some of these characters in a VERY long time-some bios getting edits and the almanac unintentionally being hard to access (oops)-Bios and context below the cut! I'd highly recommend at least reading Shi and Saturn's at least.

CONTEXT CUT

SHI & DEATH WELLS

One of the 11 Wielders of The Mirage, Shi is the Wielder of Death. Wielding death itself both metaphorically and literally. Unlike other Wielders, Shi’s scythe is sapient.

On one hand, Shi is a clean freak, judgemental, but intelligent and greatly caring of his family. Usually keeping Death in line and keeping the house where he and his siblings live clean, sometimes babysitting the rest if Saturn is out in public. Spending the rest of his time with Scuro, tends to flub up his english, though Scuro will always be there to correct him.

On the other hand, his scythe is also judgemental, bossy, mocking, and just the (literal) tool embodiment of an a-hole. He can talk and communicate both regularly and telepathically to Shi, usually giving snarky comments and insults towards his siblings.

Shi’s story begins in Mexico around the 1940’s-1960’s, living in poverty and by himself. Shi sees an odd creature, mouselike but not quite. And chases it into a Mirage portal. However, this particular portal was unstable, sending him back thousands of years into the Mirage. as much as Shi wanted to leave. There was a pull that was keeping him there, something was calling him.

So he followed that pull to an old, crumbling crypt. There was where Shi would meet his soon-to-be best friend, Scuro. The Wielder of Shadows, was guarding the crypt. Despite the goo monster at the crypt speaking English (Which Shi didn’t understand), Shi continued on almost robotically. With Scuro threatening to use their powers to throw him back where he came from, but never actually doing so because they don't have the heart to. Quote:“Hey! Go away! I’ll kick you right out of here! I will! I’m not kidding! I will!”

Reaching the crypt, there’s a looming ominous scythe standing by itself upon a pile of rubble. Scuro, quite tired of seeing things die from this scythe. Tackles Shi as he grabs it. Sending off an explosion threatening to collapse the crypt and sending Scuro into a wall. This was Death itself, the Last Trial Scythe. Though accomplishing the impossible of not being turned to bones the moment he touched the scythe unlike those who came before him. It was coming up on Shi, upon being called reckless by this angry scythe. Shi becomes something of a verbal dagger and starts sassing an ancient object until the object asks him to “Take responsibility”. To which Shi, not understanding what this actually meant, said yes. So, Shi got up from this whole ordeal. Becoming the Wielder of death, accomplishing what even The Overseer thought was to be a fruitless waste of time.

SATURN WELLS

I’m not sure why it took me so long to write about the Overseer himself, but it did. This is Saturn Wells, the only Overseer of The Mirage. Very old, very anti-social full-time Overseer and parent. Doesn’t really sleep much, but it’s usually only a few hours long when he does.

5’, birthday unknown, weighing 186 lbs. Saturn’s extremely wise and intelligent at his job. But also a very caring stay-at-home parent, we’re not sure why he cares so much about his own kids. They’re adopted, and he knows they might die and he’ll have to start all over, so why does he even try? According to him “I don’t care if I’ll have to take care of them forever throughout every life. I still want them to live happy lives, every time.”.

His care for the Wielders and the two Starborn are still odd by an Overseer’s standards, though. Most of the time they’re left in someone else’s hands.

It’s worth noting that he didn’t create the Xiilunes, while only he knows of their origins he simply gains a mortified look and never speaks. Although in the few cases we’ve seen him with the goo(s), he’s unable to control them, much less make them spread.

As said before Saturn’s extremely wise and intelligent. However his knee jerk reactions definitely aren’t the best in the world, often leaving him with large problems. Such as when he took the starborn in without realizing he would have to parent them, though he doesn’t particularly regret that one. He does however, have a tendency to become anxious and reacts very poorly to stress. Even small things tend to put him on edge, while very soft and caring for his family. He hates having to interact with the public otherwise, social anxiety and all that.

Lives in a house out in a secluded area, like a hermit and opposed to going out in public. The house has a special spell on it, whoever walks near it in a three-mile radius is unable to leave without his permission. Instead just walking right back to it.

Has pretty bad stress-eating habits and feather-picking habits, and a fear of abandonment, which has gotten bigger in the last few years. Compared to most Overseers, his poor health has led to his magic being a bit weaker than it should be…

SCURO WELLS

WATAWNA WELLS

The “younger” of the two Mirage starborn, Watawna Wells is technically the 2nd-to-eldest sister to the Wielders despite not being one herself. Despite this, they still treat her more like an aunt figure. As she seems to have picked up on her father’s (Metaphorical) softer side.

7’2”, born a few milliseconds after her sister (Something that’s frequently fought about), Watawna spends her days as a pediatrician (focused on the magic side of things). She seems to have her interests drift from place to place and then loop right back around, unbeknownst to anyone. She was a poisoner for a short time, but quit because unlike her sister, she has a better moral code.

Watawna’s something of a kooky aunt figure, the type of person who collects shiny rocks, the type of person who’d get distracted by all the lost stuff they found while cleaning their room. Yes, she’s those types of people with a side of care and bubbliness. Probably intelligent, but really doesn’t act like it. Personally I think she’s a bit oblivious sometimes…but I’ve heard that if she does get mad she crawls along the walls/roof chasing people like a demon in an 80s earth horror movie. Sadly, I can’t say if this is true because it’s literally impossible to annoy her at all that it's annoying in itself

Being a starborn, she’s extremely powerful in her abilities. Most of her abilities makeup what we all know as Hollowlantern Magic. Just like regular Hollowlanterns, she also needs leaves to power said magic.

The relationship between her and Tempest certainly isn’t tense, they may not act like it but they stick together through and through no matter what. It’s impossible to see one without the other nearby, although fights have certainly happened. Some leaving lots of damage and in some cases, casualties. Both are also of equal strength, although neither really show it. In fact at first glance it may seem more like Watawna is the weaker of the two siblings, but no matter how you cut it. They’re the same in their abilities.

Lives in a house with Tempest that’s nearby Saturn’s house, roughly 4 miles away.

TEMPEST WELLS

This is Tempest Wells, one of the Mirage Starborn. Being 0.00000561 milliseconds older (And more responsible in general, but how petty do you have to be to figure that specific number out?)than her sister, she’s considered the older of the two. Standing at 14’1, Tempest’s just an inch above the average Hollowlantern height.

Born sometime around October 22-24th alongside her sister Watawna. She’s one of the few starborn to still exist in this universe, starborn are beings born from magical forces getting caught in a supernova. Resulting in one or more beings of various forms to be born, however, they’re often highly deformed and weak at birth. Tempest and Watawna were extremely lucky, only being born without faces. Something easily fixed from Saturn’s knee jerk reaction of carving their faces, which (somehow?) didn’t kill them. Out of the two, Tempest is considered to be the unfriendly one. Unlike Watawna, Tempest really doesn’t care about others, not that she can’t. She just doesn’t like to. While definitely brash, gruff, and a bit quiet. She has shown to be much calmer and sometimes has a heart. A much better listener than speaker for someone who needs to vent, as opposed to Watawna, who’s version of comfort is…all over the place.

While not extremely aggressive of everyone around her, she most certainly doesn’t like them, letting her pessimism and lack of tone control. Well, control how she speaks. As you can tell, Tempest has a very pessimistic outlook on life. With Watawna there to “remind” her.

Moving on from her personality, no one really knows what’s underneath Tempest’s hood. It’s so old, and well kept, still holds together pretty well from what I’ve seen. Supposedly she got it as a birthday gift and hasn’t been seen without it since, hell even Watawna’s curious. We’ll probably never find out, because even if it goes down to her ankles it’d still be impossible to sneak up on her much less yank it off.

(I’m not sure if I’ll be in trouble for saying this, but while Tempest is a surgeon at O’Ghost General Hospital, I’ve found some evidence she may be a hitwoman on the side…so if you never hear from me again randomly, that might be why…)

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wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart · 1 year ago

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Fic Tag Game

Thank you so much for tagging me, @starwalkertales

How many works do you have on ao3?

30… I'm quite proud of the fact that I've made so many, and 29 of them in just 2½ years (granted, most of them are quite short, but there are a few longer ones in between)

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

272,066… Holy Force, according to a quick google search, that equates to about 3 average novels, damn.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars, mostly the prequel trilogy. I have two “older” Yu-Gi-Oh fics.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Rain with 298 kudos. This is actually my newest story and in just a week after I posted it, it had overtaken all my other works (I guess people like it). It's cute fluffy and smutty obikin, where our boys get stranded and given a small but much-needed holiday.

2. ‘Com’Passion with 280 kudos. I can't hide the fact that my guilty pleasure is threesomes. This one is smut with a lot of emotion, involving two experienced masters (Mace and Obi-Wan) taking Anakin to their bed after he walks in on them.

3. Nanika the daughter of the Force with 279 kudos. This fic, where Anakin is sent back in time as a woman, is my baby and biggest challenge.

4. Hearts' desires with 263 kudos. Sweet, smutty obikin with too much plot, featuring Anakin and Obi-Wan's first time together.

5. All I want for Christmas with 211 kudos. This is last year's tooth-rottingly cute and fluffy Christmas fic, where Obi-Wan returns home and realizes he can't escape Anakin and Padmé's love.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! (It can sometimes take a few days if RL is demanding my attention) Commenting is the lifeblood of fandom, and it's through commenting that I've found many of my friends here.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Um, I have a few that could compete for that title... but I'd have to say Fallen, it's short, ambiguous and it hurts so much. I have others equally angsty, my very first SW fic In The End is also very angsty.

7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?

All I want for Christmas, it is just SO happy that it is nauseating (I got fluff poisoning writing it)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, and I'm very grateful for that. I have a few people asking if I'm going to continue with Nanika soon... I will, promise!

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

Yes, I do... I don't know if it's a specific type... but it's not very kinky (I love reading all kinds of smut, I'm just not brave enough to write it yet)

10. Do you write cross-overs?

I have a few faint bunnies in deep freeze, but they're not very detailed and most likely won't be written… so no, but never say never.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nop, but I'm considering translating back one of my own stories at some point, just for the fun of it.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I have. I wrote The Jedi and the darksider together with my sweet heart Zolita. It was an inspiring and challenging experience to write Melany and Zaya's story.

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Obikin (I can't deny it), BUT they are not my only love, and I will happily let them take a third to bed with them at any given opportunity.

15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Pirates of the Galaxy, and it is a damn shame!

16. What are your writing strength?

I've been told that I'm good at writing atmosphere, and admittedly, it's one of my favorite things to write, so it's not really surprising. Haunt me for a year is testament to that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue... I struggle with it every single time, but I'm stubborn and will keep practicing so that maybe one day I'll feel like I've gotten good at it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?Probably not dialogue, but I'm toying with the idea of writing spells in other languages, preferably old Sith, there's just not much known Sith language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh, back in 2016 before I stumbled into the SW fandom and got lost in the galaxy far far away.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I love them all, they all have a very special place in my heart and it is almost impossible to chose, but I will say Tave Jen’drajuna; the dark family is just… it is me.

I want to ad a bonus question.

21. What fic would you want to rewrite one day.

My very first long fic Light and darkness. I still love the idea of vampire Sith Anakin, but I was so inexperienced when I wrote it and even though I adore the story the writing could be better.

I will tag anyone who wants to do this, and also @fleetstreetfatality @prahacat @barmadumet @demon----dean @tideswept @briliantlymad @fangeek-girl @dark--whisperings @lilredghost and @knightjane if you have already been tagged or have answered, please just ignore me, and of course there is no pressure.

#fanfiction #Ao3 tag game #fandom #stars wars #writing #20 questions #+ 1 #I realize this is shameless self-promotion… but well.#🤷

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fallingforfandoms · 1 year ago

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Tag someone you want to know and/or some of your besties

@except4bunnies tagged me for my take on this lovely list, thanks so much!

favorite color: I don't have a specific one in mind, but I'm rather fond of black, green and red at the moment.

last song: "About Damn Time" by Lizzo because I'm still somehow now tired of it, even though I basically listened to the instrumental version for the past few days on repeat for ... fandom purposes ;)

last movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark - the first Indiana Jones film that I originally bought as a birthday present for my dad a couple days ago but came to love again for my very own reasons by the end of the first rewatch.

currently watching: Well, there are a few Tatort episodes left on my list, and a friend recommended "The World To Come" on Netflix which seemed quite promising at first glance, so, yay, looking forward to that!

other stuff I watched this year: Jumped on the Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon hypetrain very late (and for fic inspiration purposes at first) and loved it (apart from the infamous butchering of s7/8 of course). Also, still very much in love with "Daisy Jones and the Six". Go and watch that. The characters are awesome. The music is even better. And the enemies to lovers to enemies vibes are just ... yes. Yes, please.

shows I dropped this year: Started with the new season of Heartstopper and got punched in the feels for "you didn't have that kind of social bliss at school and the comparison hurts way too much" reasons. So, thanks, but no thanks, this kinda make-belief world ain't for me anymore, but y'all have fun with it :')

currently reading: Academic stuff that takes way too long to comprehend and that makes me feel guilty for even staring at some normal novel because I should be using my time more wisely, etc etc etc.

currently listening to: That's probably hella weird, but I love the concept of apps that read texts to you out loud. It's a great way to fall asleep to your favourite fanfics, or to find typos in the stories you've written yourself because the automated voice pronounces these words as oddly as they should be, given the faulty spelling. Highly recommending @Voice for that (I think @mistofstars mentioned the app once as well, at least that's how I know of it).

currently working on: countless WiPs that involve Wilhelmine Klemm and ... varying women, also the same old Ludwigshafen stories that will probably follow me into my grave. And lastly ... a best-of edit starring some of my all time favourite comfort characters. That one will probably be finished by January (exact date tba) and be way too long to be posted anywhere, but I'll just label this as self-care then :'D

current obsession/s: Fell in love with Bremen and Hamburg and Münster (the actual cities this time) throughout the last few weeks. And I had so many lovely little moments with random strangers on that trip (shoutout to the lady in the St. Pauli-Fanshop with all her Tüddelkram, to the guy I bought my Krabbenbrötchen from, and to Renate, the old lady on her way to Stralsund who chatted to me on the train for an hour and reminded me very much of a lovely OC by @all-my-worlds-a-stage that I still hold very close to my heart). And I simultaneously loved the fact that I was travelling alone and was completely free to do whatever I wanted. Yes please. Obsessed with these kinds of connections and trips. Want more of them asap. <3

Tagging @all-my-worlds-a-stage @cornchrunchie @mordsfesch @mistofstars @krejong @khalaris and anyone else who wants to join in! :)

#tagging game #jo lebt #personal

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pumpkin-spike18 · 8 months ago

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✨Weekly Progress 2024 #22-23✨

#22 would've come out last week if I didn't forget my planner when I packed for traveling.

Weekly Progress #22

Updated tumblr tags

Thumbnailed, sketched, refined sketched, lined, and finished [fan project #2] illustration

Submitted forms for [fan projects]

Made work plans for P-M and SFB

Basic o2a2 outline

Fixed SYVNH bug

Generated sprite pieces for P-M and SFB

Fleshed out o2a2 outline

Weekly Progress #23

Coded P-M sprites

Updated itch page images

Made new BWBOK schedule

Copied P-M script into Renpy

Scripted P-M s1-s3

Answered BWBOK comments

Drafted [fan project] posts

Designed P-M GUI

Wrote 100+ words for SFB

A Sky of Falling Birds

As I mentioned before, SFB is my next big project, which I plan to submit for BAF VN Jam. That's... 7/1.

It's okay, I still got... 20 days.

There's a lot of work left to do and not much to show off at the moment.

Pre-Make

Or Pre 🕰 Make (P-M), I haven't completely decided on how to advertise the title yet. It's a "small" project that I came up with back in 2020 and still haven't finished. I thought I'd dedicate a few days' time to it and see how far I'd get. There's still a bit of work to do, but much of it is done.

The art's quite old and the story telling was the original test I did for SYVNH's looping mechanism so it won't be anything novel. The screenshot above is from this game. If he looks a little familiar, don't worry. That's not your imagination.

The Beauty Which Only Beast Knows

My other big focus for this month, we're hoping to finish it for Otome Jam... which also ends 7/1. I've a loose schedule for achieving that, but the team's health is the top priority so we're playing it by ear. It may take a little longer to finish up.

Other!

O2A2: Because I couldn't sit still!! I started planning for O2A2 2024! It'll be another entry into the kill series, but I hope to include some point and click elements to it. Last year I finished 9 VN projects, something I don't want to do again-- but!! I don't want to only finish one project this year!! I've been skipping and fomo-ing all the jams in the first half of the year. Well, no more! I'm going to get some work done this summer!!

Fan Projects: I don't think I need to keep my involvement in fan projects a secret anymore! I took part in the D. Gray Man 20th Anniversary Project, which we actually started work on late last year! I also took part in the Narumitsu Big Bang 2024 event, which... also started work late last year 🤔 Huh, I was really busy back then. Maybe that'll teach me to sign up for too many fan events... (😂 no ofc not!)

Misc: I finished some tedious updating work that I promised myself to do a while back. I'll admit I make my blog easiest for me to navigate, first and foremost. But if there's something that's bothering you, or have an idea to make navigation better, feel free to let me know through an ask! I also updated all of my itch io pages' images. They were originally linked from discord, which changed its policy and broke all direct image links. Thankfully, I had everything labeled in a private server so I could easily retrieve and reupload to update the pages. Yes, I should've done that long ago. And I'm sorry I just... didn't;;

#visual novel #vnlink #devlog #vndev #sfb #bwbok #kill series

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ruemilley · 1 month ago

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thoughts on The Blog + 2024 year in reflection + next year goals

hi there, long time no talk. if you don't remember why you're following me, it's probably because i wrote a lot of mp100 fanfic like five years ago. i haven't posted much on this blog this year besides reblogging some fundraisers and i want to try and use this more. hope you're doing well!

i think i tend to be pretty precious about what i put on this blog, because in my mind i wanted it to be creative updates and art only, but more and more i realize that i really enjoy reading what artists i follow are up to and thinking about whether it's creative or not. so i want to try and post more casually too. sharing what im up to + occasional reblogs. i hope you enjoy that kind of stuff too.

i made a tag on the blog for stuff ive made called.. #stuff ive made. so it'll still be easy to find my art and writing. ill probably make a pinned post with that info in a little bit.

ok, so other orders of business, how was 2024 for me?

2024 was pretty good for me. it was not quite what i thought it would be-- i had a few different goals at the beginning of the year that i ended up shifting on. i also cannot find my new year's resolutions from last year which is surprising because i pretty much always make them.

however, i made some general accomplishments that im pretty happy with, such as:

switching from misc freelance scrambling and part time work to a 40hr/week job, with way better pay

going to water aerobics twice a week fairly consistently, which is the first time i've consistently exercised maybe ever

taking my health more seriously in general

finishing a rough draft of a comic script (which i then put aside, due to next accomplishment)

finally dipping my toes into game dev which i have always wanted to try but was always too scared to

cutting way back on social media usage and being stricter with how much time i spend on my phone

generally Putting Myself Out There more and making friends in da city

so i'm pretty pleased. however, as i think at the end of every year, i still feel my creative output is not what i wanted it to be. admittedly i did draw more than i have in a while. i worked on several projects and got a few things off the ground. but not much i feel i can share. i feel like i consistently did more, but my output was just very slow. this is partly from working on larger projects and things that are time consuming, but man, i want to prioritize this stuff more.

i also find that i am struggling a bit about what i want to be working on creatively. i have ideas but everything's a bit half formed. i think this year i've unearthed some insecurities about the quality of my work and ideas-- i think previously i just told myself that if i sat down and did stuff i would be a savant, i just hadn't gotten around to it yet. this was definitely just from a fear of failure. ok, so i did sit down and do some stuff and it was kind of just ok-- at least to me. what now?

so, i need more time to work on stuff and i need to develop my Artistic Voice or whatever. point one is a bit easier to find a solution for, even if it's scary- im planning to cut back my work hours in the new years and set aside fridays for personal project time only. this is mostly stressful because everything on earth is only getting more expensive but i think i just need to do this. if i don't i will always wonder what if.

...point two is vaguer. how do you develop an artistic vision and goal? admittedly, i think i put way too much pressure on myself to have consistent creative styles and interests. but at the same time, out of all the things i love, there has to be something im drawn to creatively, right? even if i haven't realized it yet? besides anime fanfic epics?

well, probably just in the doing things will emerge. i'll focus on that for now. this seems like a similar question to high schoolers asking how you get an Art Style, and not realizing that's just something that naturally emerges when you draw a lot. you can certainly point it in certain directions, but it won't settle and be yours unless you do it a lot.

okay, what else. i have some other personal goals i won't share here, but one more i WILL share here is i think in 2025 i really want to engage with less passive media. i love to put on a youtube video essay and play a game on my phone. lots of half attention to things that don't deserve my whole attention. i think that's ok sometimes to relax and unwind, but i feel like i missed out on so many cool stories by doing that. i feel good about this goal because it's less about Reading Twenty Five Books This Year Because That's Good For Me and more about experiencing stories because i want that.

this year i read stone butch blues and i remember thinking at the end of it, why am i not reading things like this all the time? why am i not devoting myself to experiencing beautiful works of art? why am i more likely to put on ten hour let's play of a mediocre PS2 game that no one has ever heard of than to watch a two hour classic movie that will emotionally resonate and maybe change my life?

...well, it's partially because that gets emotionally exhausting. it's ok to chill out some. but i don't want to pacify myself all the time. i need to think about how to make this a Measurable Goal or whatever, but i'm excited about it.

i think that's all i will put here. i hope you have a good new year's and that 2024 wasn't too painful for you. i feel as though most of the internet was cruel and disheartening this year- endless windows into the worst of humanity. things that were painful to read, while also knowing they would be thousand and thousands time worse to experience. even so, i saw a lot of kindness too-- people reaching out to help, and the generosity of my friends and family. i hope you saw some of that too. here's to 2025.

#talking

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yerimbrit · 5 months ago

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guess who? : b. jeemin

synopsis: the very first day that you take over morning announcements, you have to read an anonymous confession letter! and it's addressed to you! wait, what?

# : pairing ! nonidol!bang jeemin x stuco!reader

# : tags ! dedicated to the amazing @nwjnsloona, loser!jeemin, putting that in bold was necessary, fem!reader, highschool!au, featuring izna members, mentions of other iland 2 cont., fuko plays a minor part in this, fluff, user yerimbrit sneaks a red velvet mention... are we even surprised

# : wordcount ! 7.1k

# : warnings ! none

out of all things you expected the student council president to request of you, substituting her for the morning announcements was most definitely not at the top of the list.

you like being the secretary. no, really. you consider yourself as an avid note-taker, and organizing things is one of your fortes.

being the stuco secretary meant that you didn't have to be the face of stuco. that's fuko, the president. see, fuko is a lovely president. she's pretty, she excels at her job, gets along with everyone, and so on.

of course, you admire fuko. so does practically the whole student body.

...it also meant that when she fell ill and asked (texted) you to fill in for her, you readily accepted.

it's not like you're shy or anything. it's quite the opposite. you just didn't like being in the spotlight. talking to others is fine, but being in the center of attention? yeah, that's a no-go.

so, here you are, tiredly holding up a paper script as you prepare to bore everyone with nothing but the usual reminders to clean up after themselves at eight in the morning.

...just kidding!

as soon as the clock strikes eight, you clear your throat and turn the intercom on. you even fix your hair, even though no one else is in the room except the vice-president mai, who sends you an encouraging thumbs up.

"good morning everyone! i'm y/n, your student council secretary. fuko-unnie is out sick, so i'll be taking over until she's back," you read out, eyes trailing over the next lines. mai smiles proudly at you, and you reciprocate the gesture.

you go over the usual mundane reminders (such as picking up your trash, and the assembly at the end of the week) and finally get to something interesting.

"onto something more exciting, the fall festival is at the end of next month!" you say enthusiastically, at least as much as you could in the hellish hours of the morning, "food, games, performances, you got it! club officers, please submit a filled out booth form or performance form to the student council office at least two weeks before the date."

flipping to the next page expecting to see the outro lines, you're surprised to see something completely different. confused, but still needing to read the script, you squint at the printed words on the last page. "lastly, we're launching a new program for the daily announcements: anonymous confessions."

mai makes brisk strides towards you, slipping a paper envelope onto the desk, sheepishly tapping on it and tilting her head. you open it, continuing the announcement. "we've received a few submissions since the initial announcement which was posted on our instagram page, and today we're reading the first one."

the first thing you notice is the neat handwriting printed on the lined sheet of notebook paper. you clear your throat again, blinking your eyes rapidly to try to focus on the words.

"dear y/n,

i've thought about what to say in this confession, but i can't seem to find the right words.

i really, really like you! i've liked you since last year. you've just got this way about you that draws me in—your smile, your laugh, the care that leaks into each of your actions, your music taste... everything, actually.

whenever you look at me or talk to me, i feel like my heart is going to burst. i admire you a lot. even if you don't like me back, i hope we can stay friends!

your admirer,

j.m."

the further you get into the letter, the more you feel your face burning, from your neck up to your ears. mai's jaw is slacked, and honestly, so is yours. it's one thing to confess over the daily announcements. its another for it to be addressed to the one announcing it.

"u-um, wow! thank you, anonymous!" you cough, "i'm... flattered? a-anyway, that's it for the announcements. have a good rest of your day!"

as soon as you hit the 'stop' button on the control panel, you slump over the desk and harshly bump your head in the process. the vice-president sympathetically pats your back and leaves you alone in the room.

however, there's only one thing swimming around in your mind. obviously, it's 'who is j.m.?' and 'why me?'

you don't think you're going to hear the end of it from your friends.

"hey, lovergirl." is what you hear the second you're close enough to your usual lunch table. you smack jiyoon's shoulder as you sit down next to her with your food, greeting sarang and jungeun across from you with a smile.

jiyoon's got her assortment of foods laid out on the table, the younger two already helping themselves. she insists that her family just makes her bring all the food, but you can tell she's all the more happy to share with you.

"who do you think it is, y/n-unnie?" sarang asks after taking a sip of her drink.

who do you think it is? you've seriously got no clue. you tell her exactly that, and the conversation launches into a full-blown guessing game.

"jiwoo?" jungeun starts, "no, wait, the letter said j.m. right?"

sarang rests her chin on her palm, humming. "jimin?"

"she graduated already," jiyoon states with a straight face.

jungeun giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. "then could it be you, jiyoon-unnie?"

"don't!" the targeted girl turns beet red in embarrassment. "don't be ridiculous. plus, it's j-m not j-y."

you're halfway through with your lunch, almost tuning the other girls out. there's only one person who matches the intials that you can think of. but it's impossible, you haven't even held a proper conversation with her since maybe last year.

sarang slumps over and tilts her head up, pouting at you from below. you resist the urge to either a) pinch her cheeks or b) initiate a staring contest, to which you'll lose, because she always cheats without fail.

"do you have any clues?"

a voice calls out for you before you could answer the younger girl. "hey lovergirl!"

three girls approach your table. mai, who casually waves at you, koko, who greeted you, and jeemin.

jeemin. j.m. but it could just be a coincidence, right?

"stop calling me that," you wave at the three. mai nudges koko, who only grins. "and hi, what brings you guys here?"

you and your friends scooch over to make room for them, koko and mai sitting opposite of you and jeemin taking the only available seat which is right next to you. the rest of jiyoon's food is silently distributed to the newcomers.

lunch continues but you can't help but notice that jeemin is avoiding your eyes. she also hasn't said a single word to you, which is weird and frankly, and out of character for her. usually she'd at least manage a 'hello'.

you reach over and pinch her arm, eliciting a flinch from her and a startled yelp. her voice after comes out in a whisper. "w-what?"

"are you okay?"

"yeah."

she quickly turns back to her food, shoveling some rice into her mouth. unfortunately, she also starts choking, which causes mai to rush to give her a waterbottle, and for everyone at the table to start staring at her.

the girl catches her breath after taking in some water and shakily raises up a thumb, as if she hadn't almost died from eating too fast.

the rest of lunch up until the end, you notice out of the corner of your eye that jeemin is not-so-subtly giving you puppy-eyes. it's so obvious that even jiyoon raises a brow whenever she looks in your direction. and you can clearly see sarang whispering about it to jungeun, indirectly pointing with her chin.

suddenly, you think your suspicions aren't quite off. they are very correct. she's definitely suspicious. jeemin, that is.

the next few days consist of your regular schedule, except now you have what is essentially a sixth sense for whenever jeemin is around. it's easy to tell, really; she's always burning holes into your back with her puppy-dog eyes.

last year, you and jeemin were seatmates in homeroom. sorta. you sat in front of her for the whole year, in the back of the class next to the window. a classic main character seating. the girl was shy, sure. but that initial barrier had been broken down as soon as you offered to share some of your matcha pocky with her.

during the year, you'd share more of your snacks, and sometimes she would also bring her own to share. you'd discreetly pass notes back and forth, whether it'd be about whatever the teacher was talking about or random things like the new milkis flavor or whatever.

on some occasions, whenever there was a break, you'd sit against the back wall of the classroom and listen to music together. at first it was uncomfortable to move around while sharing earbuds, but the both of you had grown used to it. it was like a fleeting getaway—no one bothered you. a brief period of relaxation.

you wouldn't exactly call her a close friend; you almost never hung out outside of class. but it was a cherished connection, for sure. after the school year ended, you naturally grew apart since you never got any of her socials. but before the earlier confession announcement, you would wave and maybe exchange a greeting whenever you'd see each other.

jeemin's shyness never went away, even now as she avoids interactions but looks like she wants to talk to you so badly it might kill her.

so yeah, you're 90% sure that jeemin is the sender of the letter. it's a bit shocking, you've always thought that she's cute but you didn't think that the time you spent together was enough to develop any feelings. at least for you. you aren't one for crushes; they were probably at the bottom of your priorities when it comes to your life. but... they're not unwelcome.

that only half-explains why you're waiting outside of the performing arts room after finishing up some student council work. you didn't have to wait long; some of the other members took on fuko's work and told you to go home a bit earlier. it also just so happens to be around the time dance club's practice usually ended.

you're mindlessly scrolling through your instagram feed when the door swings open. and speak of the devil—it's jeemin, in the flesh! though she doesn't notice you yet because she's still looking behind her telling someone to shut up.

when she turns to face forward, her expression shifts into what seems to be a mix of shock and mortification. her mouth opens and closes as if she were a fish. "oh! y-y/n, fancy seeing you here!"

through the open door behind her, you can see everyone trying their best not to laugh, including koko and even mai. you flash a closed-mouth smile. "hey, jeemin."

the girl stammers before letting out a very awkward, "wassup...?"

you stifle a giggle, but widen your eyes in concern when you hear a thump. you can barely see koko and sarang dying in laughter before jeemin abruptly slams the door shut.

"what's! up," she asks, leaning against the door.

her smile is forced and her eye is twitching, it'd be cute if you didn't have something to ask of her. oh well. "do you wanna hang out? we've never hung out outside of school, i was thinking we could get some ice cream or whatever you're up for."

there's no answer, but she is turning into a whole tomato with how hard she's blushing.

"jeemin?"

"yes!" she replies quickly, before blinking rapidly and fixing her practice clothes. she's probably going to say something about changing back to her uniform before accepting your offer.

jeemin reaches behind her for the doorknob, still facing you. "i mean—yeah! yeah, i'm free. i just need to, uh, change out of my practice clothes sorryjustgivemeasec—" see? what did you say?

she twists the doorknob and pulls the door open and back, but what's unexpected is your very own ryu sarang tumbling out like a prize from a gachapon machine. why is the practice room door double-action? also, sarang?

both you and jeemin are staring at the younger girl in confusion. said girl scratches her head and gets up like nothing happened, enveloping you in a big, warm hug. "hi unnie! i missed you..."

you're taken aback, but you return the hug. "hi sarangie, we just saw each other earlier."

jeemin glances at you and sarang still hugging with a slight look of resignation, and shuffles back into the practice room to get her bag and change somewhere.

"are you okay?" you mumble, fingers carding through sarang's hair. you feel her nod, and pull away when jeemin returns. "i'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"mhm, see you. have fun on your date jeemin-unnie, y/n-unnie!" the younger girl waves and skips back into the room.

the door shuts again and the taller girl is avoiding your gaze. that won't do, will it? you tap her shoulder and grin up at her, not missing the tinge of red settling across her cheeks and coloring her ears. "ready?"

"mhm, yeah. totally. ice cream?"

"ice cream," you nod.

ice cream it is.

you find yourself making this—stopping by the dance club after you finish your work—a regular thing. if there wasn't any practice, you'd wait outside of her homeroom and pick up jeemin to head off to wherever the wind takes you.

so far, you've taken jeemin to the local ice cream parlor, the park, a bakery, and other classic date spots. and on top of that, enjoyed a very nice weekend going bowling and watching her try to impress you in front of mai and jiyoon. the poor girl had tripped over her feet in an attempt to bowl a strike like she planned, but ultimately landing her ball in the gutter.

today is a regular weekday, nothing out of the ordinary. fuko has, thankfully, recovered from her sickness and lifted the task of morning announcements off of your shoulders. during your brief time as the announcer, there hasn't been any other love confessions, but more boring ones that you can't even name off the top of your head.

truthfully, spending all this time with jeemin has undoubtedly changed your way of thinking. you notice all the little things about her, like the way she pokes her tongue against her cheek when she's lost in thought, or how sometimes she unconsciously lowers herself whenever you're side by side. at first it almost offended you, but it did make it easier for you to link your arm with hers.

the girl is still a little shy, but she's evolved to taking your hand in hers first! that's totally baby steps. maybe she'll even grow out of blushing and looking away after five seconds of eye contact. cute. she's now saved in your contacts as "j.m." followed by a bear emoji and a blue heart. and the contact photo is a candid photo you took of her petting a dog, enamored by the samoyed puppy. so cute.

you're organizing files after school while fuko and the treasurer look over some paperwork. there's a lot of planning needed for the upcoming festival—because of this, you had texted jeemin prior that you'd be late.

what you didn't expect is a knock on the door, revealing bang jeemin herself, freshly changed into her uniform.

"jeemin," you stand up from your seat. "what are you doing here?"

she perks up at the sight of you, but shrinks back when she meets the eyes of fuko and the other council member. "i, um. wanted to pick you up this time. i-if you're not busy, that is."

you purse your lips. you've already sorted through the majority of the files, but there is still a report to be written.

the president clears her throat, eyes softening when you peer over to her. "i can take care of the rest of your work, y/n. you know, as a thank you for doing mine while i was out."

"are you sure?" you frown. fuko has always been giving. a little too much, you might add. as the president, she has the most paperwork out of all of the council; you wouldn't want to add to that stack.

she waves her hand, practically shooing you away. "i'm sure. go have fun, lovergirl."

"unnie, please don't call me that. i've had enough of it already with everyone else."

fuko only giggles and winks at you as you pack up your things and walk over to where jeemin is stiffly standing. grabbing her hand and waving to you fellow student council members, you drag her out with her before she can scramble to bow to them.

"do you want to go anywhere in particular?" you swing your interlocked hands between the two of you playfully.

jeemin shakes her head, looking ahead. "i picked last time, so you should today."

internally, you swoon. so charming. so considerate. you never thought you'd be feeling this way for bang jeemin, the quiet girl that sat behind you. but a part of you feels guilty that you've been knowing she was behind the letter. and that she's unaware of that fact.

"can we go to the bookstore, then? i've finished a novel and i want to get the next part of the series."

"i..."

"hmm?" curiously, you glance at the taller girl, whose cheeks have dusted pink. "jeemin?"

she meets your gaze with an intense one of her own. "i don't mind the place as long as i'm with you..."

oh. that's new. that's not shy, timid jeemin. that's total heartthrob jeemin. oh. oh dear.

your heartbeat speeds up, and you just have cover your face with your free hand to hide the blush that is growing by the second.

"you're a dangerous woman, bang jeemin."

"huh!?"

the bookstore is a comforting place; it's quiet, there's a reading nook with fairy lights, and sometimes the owner brings their cat barbie, a calico who loves to waltz around the place.

occasionally, you stop by when you can't be bothered to order online. why? because it's always more fun to browse through the catalogue in person rather than amazon, right?

jeemin holds the glass door open for you like a gentlewoman, and you just have to curtsy as you walk in. the action makes her blush, so it's worth every second of your brief embarrassment. you hear a faint meow come from a distant corner of the bookstore and grin, crouching down to greet the cat.

"hi, barbie!" you coo, scratching behind its ears. jeemin stands statically by you, not knowing what to do. you giggle at the sight of her eyes darting around like she'd been caught or something. "jeemin, don't just stand there... you can pet her, she's friendly."

the taller girl sheepishly crouches down, hesitantly reaching out her hand to pet the feline. it sniffs her hand for a moment, but then pounces at her and launches a full-on attack: scratching, biting, the whole shebang. jeemin yelps in pain and shock, moving her arm away but unable to get the cat off.

you can only stare, speechless, before trying to pry away the cat away from the girl in distress. "barbie! barbie, no! i thought you loved everyone!"

the next few moments are spent wrangling a cat who absolutely abhors jeemin for some unknown reason. you swear it's friendly, barbie was the best! maybe jeemin has a cat repellent on her. or maybe she is the cat repellent.

so, yeah... the owner of the bookstore heard the commotion from the back and had to come in to take barbie away, apologizing profusely to both you and jeemin.

"i'm sorry," you sigh in guilt, sticking (ironically) barbie themed bandaids onto jeemin's wounds in the reading nook. "she really was friendly, she loves everyone who comes in, even jiyoon-unnie."

jeemin frowns. "i guess i'm an exception. you're not making fun of me by using barbie bandaids, are you?"

the question is so funny to you that you almost laugh out loud. "no, i'm not. i'm glamorizing your boo-boos."

the tips of the girl's ears tinge red. cute. "what's your novel about?"

a smooth topic change. "hm? oh, it's a thriller. it's about these five girls killing each other, but the illustrations are super cutesy."

"what?" as expected, she's taken aback. who wouldn't, at how casually you were describing it?

"er... you'll get it if you try it. it's an interesting read, made me gasp a few times. the next book is about them killing pizza men."

"um..."

"i think it's an acquired taste... do you feel better?"

you tap each bandaid that was meticulously placed on each scratch and wound, totaling to a whopping nine areas. jeemin gives a neutral response, clearly trying to act tough, but you go ahead and plant a kiss on each bandaid anyway.

"that surely cures your pain, don't you think?"

no response. you glance up at jeemin and, ah, yes! the tomato is back, unsurprisingly. you giggle and take her non-injured hand, standing up and leading her to the horror section of the store.

and of course, here's the thing: this specific series is uber popular. it's a hit or miss whether or not you can even find it in stock. you honestly didn't think you'd have a big chance of encountering it; it was mostly an excuse to bring the girl you've been growing a fondness for to one of your sanctuaries.

jeemin follows after you, staring in wonder at just how many books are stored and displayed neatly on the wooden shelves. there's a whole section dedicated to the red velvet series, the one you were talking about. you weren't really reading it in chronological order, which is off-brand of you because, and you cannot stress this enough, you love to be organized. unfortunately you discovered the series through a book that wasn't the initial release, so it can't be helped.

your eyes dart around, trying to match your mental image of the book you were looking for to any of the ones on the shelf. there's a lot. psycho, bad boy, russian roulette (the one you just finished), and more. but you can't seem to find... ah. peek-a-boo. and just your luck, it's on the very top section of the shelf. out of your reach.

it's humiliating to go on your tip-toes, straining your arm as you reach for the book, that is until you feel a presence from behind you, and seeing an arm easily grabbing the book you had your eyes on. turning around, you're faced with the view of jeemin's gray graphic tee, before looking up and meeting her bashful gaze. you're close. close enough that you could just lean in and kiss- okay, you're getting off-track.

your face flushes a deep red, and you step to the side in an attempt to hide yourself, clearing your throat. "thanks, jeemin."

"um, yeah. of course." the taller girl is as blushy as you, averting her eyes as she hands you the book that started this whole scene.

when the two of you check out and leave the establishment, there's only one thought echoing throughout your mind.

that is, bang jeemin is a dangerous woman.

it's a random day after school—a filler day as you like to call it—and you don't have anything planned with jeemin but you pick her up nonetheless. today's jeemin is a little more timid than usual. that's fine with you, of course, but you can't help but feel like your relationship has backpedalled.

even more so when she turns to you with a sad but very hopeful face, and says, and you quote: "i'm the one who wrote the letter."

well yeah, you know that already. and you tell her exactly that... maybe not exactly that. there's a lot of emotions you feel with this delicate topic, and you have to express those to her.

"i'm so sorry," you take her hands in yours, earnestly looking her in the eyes. "i already knew. just—just let me explain, okay?"

the girl looks confused, bewildered even. your guilt is eating you up whole. but your feelings are true; you're starting to like jeemin, in the way that she likes you. and you don't want her to think that you've been playing with her after receiving the letter.

"i've always thought you were cute, since the first day we met." you start, "but we'd never spent enough time together for me to develop any deeper feelings than that. you were more than a hallway crush, but less than a crush, you know?" you say all in one breath, hoping she doesn't take your own confession the wrong way.

you continue. "with all the time we've spent as of lately, i've gotten more than enough of the time for those feelings to bloom."

"oh."

oh. is all jeemin says. a good oh? a bad one? how are you supposed to know?

you won't get to know because she bites her bottom lip and walks away.

'damn it.' you curse in your head. 'you should've told her from the start, y/n. damn it.'

jeemin avoids you the entirety of the following day. you pretend it's not bothering you, but it's so painfully obvious to the others and yourself that it is affecting you. no texts back. no waves in the hallway. no visits during breaks. not even a single glance towards your table during lunch.

there's a jeemin-shaped hole shot through your heart, and it aches. if this is the result of no contact for a day, you think you're doomed.

you find yourself walking around campus with a glum aura surrounding you. jiyoon inconspicuously sends you pictures of puppies during class, hoping to silently cheer you up. which is silly, but you appreciate her efforts nonetheless.

after school, jungeun intercepts you on your feeble attempt to drag yourself to the dance club, and buys herself and you a strawberry milk from the vending machine near the school entrance. as thanks, you pat her head and walk her home, promising to treat her to a meal later.

and for the first time in a while, you're tossing and turning in bed. you didn't think jeemin had that much of an effect on you, but you stand corrected. it's kind of pathetic. you feel pathetic. not pathetic like jeemin after an intense workout, but pathetic like you can't live a day without her. and it has quite literally only been a day without her.

in your desperation to "catch some Z's" you hit up sarang. and sarang, oh so lovely sarang, sends you an hour long documentary about bears, which did not help.

(because admittedly, you watch the whole thing—beginning to end—and can only think about jeemin, the whole time.)

your one-day-hell abruptly ends during break when someone raps their knuckles against your desk, which consequently has you tearing your eyes away from your phone and up to the person—oh, it's jeemin.

oh. it's jeemin? (!) (!?)

"jeemin!" you stand up from your seat, wide-eyed and hands fumbling around to find a place to rest. they end up in your pockets, and you clear your throat of any phlegm before smiling. "hey."

"hey," she waves. the break is about to end, so she has to make whatever she's going to say quick. "our dance team is performing at the festival..."

you know that already. you are, in fact, the student council secretary, but you don't remind the dancer of that fact, waiting for her to continue.

jeemin looks down, mustering up all the courage she has. you can almost see it manifesting, what with how hard she's clenching her fists. "so, please watch me! i'll c-capture your heart with my charms!"

the statement is so ridiculous that you just have to laugh out loud. it sounds like it's straight out of a manga, the way she shouts it out loud for your whole class to hear. which by the way, is now staring at the two of you.

your laughter causes jeemin to shrink back (because who says that unironically?) but then you smile warmly at her.

"i promise i will."

and it's worth the embarrassment of having the whole class watch a part of your love life, because jeemin's face completely lights up and she flashes you the biggest smile you've ever seen her smile and runs off right before break ends.

the festival is in two weeks. and you're so looking forward to the dance club's performance.

recovered from the one-day-hell of jeemin deprivation, you're happily back to talking terms with the dancer. she's taken to staying behind longer to practice, which means you don't go out together for now. you don't take it personally, you've also been busy with secretarial duties.

sure, you're exhausted. but you know for a fact that the end product is absolutely going to be worth it, judging by the ones you've attended in the past. food stalls, various club attractions, and most of all the performances. seeing everyone's hard work come to fruition in person is amazing.

unfortunately, with everyone interested, it brings more work for the student council. budgets, club information, performance slots, booth availability, and more; every day feels like a marathon for your poor brain. after all of this is over, you'd really just like to take a giant nap.

mai's been juggling student council work and dance practice, keeping an even tighter schedule than before; there's more rigorous routines to perfect, and even more planning for the festival.

and speaking of the dance club, you've been pumped up ever since jeemin's corny declaration, looking forward to how she would charm her way into your heart. which, she already has, but knowing jeemin... she'll surpass your expectations in the best way possible.

sarang and saebi (another tall girl from dance club, who you don't talk to much but are acquainted with) catch you as you walk out of the student council room. they're in their practice clothes, presumably taking a break because they came out of the restroom across from the council room.

out of courtesy, you walk them all the way back to the dance club. it's pretty much a crime, how there's such a long way to the restrooms from the performing arts room. you try to convince yourself that the scenery makes up for it, with student art and posters adorning the walls and somewhat motivational quotes painted on the walls above the lockers. there's flyers advertising the upcoming fall festival everywhere, like a reminder being laser-beamed into your hippocampus.

you tuck your hands in your pockets, directing your gaze to the two girls to your right. "how's practice?"

saebi lights up, and you feel so blinded by her smile that you have to physically divert your eyes to recover. "it's going great! our routine is really coming together, i'm so excited to perform."

beside you, sarang narrows her eyes playfully. "you're not trying to get a spoiler out of us, are you?"

what? no, that's preposterous. you would never do such a thing. "yes."

"i think you got your thoughts and speech mixed up, unnie."

you don't need to defend yourself because after what felt like an eternity, the three of you have arrived safely at the performance arts room. taped to the door is a handmade poster that says 'come watch the dance club's performance at the festival! day 2, @ 1pm, main stage.' surrounding the text is a bunch of animals in various art styles, presumably drawn by different members of the club.

the door is shut, but if you listened close enough you could faintly hear the sound of shoe squeaking and some background music.

"that's weird," sarang comments, "everyone left for break. who could be in there?"

saebi twists the door knob and slightly opens the door. the three of you try to peek at the lone dancer through the open crack with sarang on the bottom, you in the middle, and saebi on top. you shift your eyes, quickly finding the dancer. the girl's movements are fluid, moving to the beat in confidence and determination. trying to identify mystery-dancer, you squint at the mirror and gasp.

the girl is jeemin.

'come to think of it, i've never seen her dance before, but...' a smile makes its way onto your lips. 'she's cool when she dances.'

the impromptu stack disbands and sarang turns to you with an animated smile. "it's jeemin-unnie! she's been working really hard, you know? to impress you."

to impress you? hearing it from jeemin is one thing, but for others to notice too? it makes you feel giddy inside. "is that so?"

both of the girls nod.

"i'll be looking forward to your performance, then," you grin, raising a fist.

sarang raises an eyebrow, opening her mouth to say something but chooses not to. instead, she smiles and waves, dragging the taller girl into the practice room with her.

huh. that was weird.

you adjust the shoulder strap of your backpack. when you get home, you have an email to write, and a spreadsheet to edit. but instead of your work, your mind is overloaded with thoughts that consist of a certain bear-resembling girl whose initials are j.m.

it's d-day! you're supposed to be overlooking the event but fuko (oh so gracious fuko) told you to go off and watch the performances, saying something about how "experiencing the event" is "part of your job". that doesn't really make too much sense in your head, but you get to watch the thing that's been on your mind for weeks, a.k.a. jeemin's performance with the dance club.

the spacious front yard of the school has been completely transformed, with a huge slot of empty space before the almost professional looking main stage that was set up solely for the three-day festival. behind the audience area lies lines of food stalls and carnival games that only a fraction of the attendees can beat. lively student stall keepers holler and beckon people to come over, and some teachers who were forced into a hotdog costume or even an inflatable t-rex costume (believe it or not, there were plenty of those) are standing in front of attractions while holding signs.

you buy yourself some blue raspberry flavored cotton candy, and make your way over to the stage, hoping to get a good view before clumps of crowd form when the performances begin. you pull out a piece of the cotton candy and pop it in your mouth. it's sweet and sugary and- uh, it's just that. sweet and sugary, since cotton candy is entirely sugar and air. the rest of the sweet treat is inhaled by... none of than you, and you throw away the cone before rushing to grab a spot in the very front.

admittedly it is a little lonely, since most of your friends are performing—even jungeun and jiyoon, who are singing a duet together—leaving you alone to watch the show. no matter. they will have your support either way. your friends are very talented, and you'll always be their biggest fan.

fuko and one of your fellow student council members, the popular, bubbly social media manager, make their entrance onto the stage. the cheers that erupted from the crowd—that you didn't even notice formed around you—were deafening, and it was just because the pair walked onto the stage.

they do the usual greetings, do some mc-ing, and announce the first group to perform. there's an entertaining mix of stand-up comedy, magic shows, cover bands, singers, cultural performances, and more, and your chest swells with pride as you intently watch the students have fun on the stage. the festival is always an occasion in which you truly get to see unity within the community; all support, no hate. it's a beautiful thing.

jungeun and jiyoon emerge from opposite sides of the stage, and you scream as loud as you can when you catch glimpses of them in their black outfits. their performance soothe you, bringing you close to tears throughout the song. the girls' vocals come together in a saccharine mix, their voices complimenting each other in the best way you can describe: the epitome of harmony.

at the end of the song, you scream their names again and have to rush to write something on your phone to act as a sign, holding it up high so the girls can see it from their place on the stage. when they do notice it, jiyoon smiles and sends a heart in your direction, and jungeun waves with a toothy grin. yep. totally worth it.

a few more acts later and it's finally time for the dance club to shine. you're so excited you could bounce off the walls, if there was any nearby. once again, the crowd's cheers make you want to rip your ears off, but you join in anyway. you only live once, right?

the dancers get in position, but there's something strange: jeemin's nowhere in sight. you cheer for sarang and koko, who are the only ones you're familiar with in the lineup, and try to enjoy the routine as much as you can, but there's that stinging feeling in the back of your mind, questioning the lack of the girl who claimed she was going to "capture your heart with her charms".

you cheer again at the end of the routine, biting your lip. is jeemin okay? did she injure herself? what happened?

koko takes a mic, catching her breath and smiling. "i hope you enjoyed this performance! but..." she hands sarang the mic.

"don't worry," the shorter girl breathes out, "we still have one, special performance left."

for a brief moment, you swear she deliberately makes eye contact with you when she says special. involuntarily, your heart palpitates and your mind races and- bang jeemin.

bang jeemin, who stylishly walks in from behind the curtain with a stack of fake dollar bills in hand, followed by mai, saebi, and two girls who you recognize as kim sujung and son juwon, known for being incredibly skilled in the field of dance. they all throw their paper bills up into the air, making it rain and effectively gaining screams and cheers from the audience.

the background music—money, by lisa—starts and you can't help but to let your jaw drop, eyes sparkling as you admire everyone's moves, especially saebi's own killing part, and mai's fiery swagger. juwon's expressions are on point, and sujung is just so cool. most importantly, your thoughts immediately fill with 'jeemin, jeemin,' and more 'jeemin' and as soon as you catch her eye, you feel your legs almost give out.

'this girl,' you think, as you notice she is definitely sending winks and directing some of the choreography towards you. no, it is not your delusions. you know this is true. she is looking right at you.

you only feel more amazement when the four dancers move to the side to make way for jeemin's solo. her movements are filled with precision and charm, confidence oozing out with every gesture she makes and every expression she offers. if she hadn't charmed her way into your heart before, she definitely has now with this performance being the tipping point.

this jeemin is different from the timid, bashful jeemin from a year ago. you saw only a small part of this side of her a while ago, but now you get to see it for real.

the group joins back together for the dance break and the outro, and you suddenly feel your throat dry up, managing a weak cheer when jeemin sends the last wink to you. you're so impressed you're speechless. today is definitely a day to remember.

four of the girls make to exit the stage, and you almost attempt to leave the crowd until jeemin taps a microphone and it screeches—not the most conventional way of silencing the audience, but it works. even if it was unintentional on her part.

the dancer flushes red in embarrassment before she tries speaking into the mic. "um, hi. our performance was good, wasn't it?"

the audience erupts in a loud cheer. the corners of jeemin's mouth lift, and you unconsciously mirror the action. "i just wanted to say- uh, i have something special to say. to someone very special in the crowd right now."

she takes a deep breath, clenching the microphone as she slowly takes small steps in your direction. your breath hitches. "y/n. i want you to know that you've got this way about you that draws me in—your smile, your laugh, the care that leaks into each of your actions, your music taste... everything, actually." she laughs. the pleasant sound echoes within your mind; you hope you can hear this sound for the rest of your life.

"whenever you look at me or talk to me, i feel like my heart is going to burst. i admire you a lot."

some people around you gasp. you hear murmurs of, "oh my gosh, jeemin is the sender of that letter from a month ago!" and "it's her!?" all around you, and you've always disliked being the center of attention but you suppose today is a truly special occasion.

you're surprised she doesn't stumble over her words, with the rosy blush on her cheeks spreading to her ears. she continues, reaching the edge of the stage where you've been pushed to the front.

"i put a lot of effort into my performance to impress you, y/n..." she squats down. now you are eye to eye with jeemin and you're afraid that her blush is contagious, feeling a burning sensation on your own face. "so... have i charmed you?"

a microphone is passed to you, and you think all of your decision-making skills have been honed for exactly this moment. you inhale... exhale... and look into jeemin's deep brown eyes. "i must say, that was a rather... entrancing performance."

her eyes gleam, and you're unable to fight off the bright smile that settles on your face.

"and i'd also like to say that yes. you have successfully captured my heart with your charms."

a/n : i love u bang jeemin my favorite loser from izna

#bang jeemin x reader #jeemin x reader #izna x reader #izna imagines #girl group imagines #girl group x reader #gxg #bang jeemin #izna jeemin

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