#I already stayed up all night yesterday to binge watch a majority of the episodes

[what-breaks-my-heart]

Update:

8 hours later and I'm still trapped in this vast, deep sea with no land in sight.

Do not send help. At least not yet.

Just finished Someday or One Day!

Now if you'll excuse me, let me swim in my deep emotions for this drama.

[thecartoonarchivist]

My Thought on The Dragon Prince

So, the first season of The Dragon Prince released on Netflix yesterday and like the cartoon nerd I am, I binged watched all the episodes at like... 12:00 at night. (Sue me.) 

And I’m gonna be honest: I have some opinions.

For those of you who don’t know who I am, or haven’t seen my posts popping up from time-to-time over the past month or so, I’m the Cartoon Archivist. I’ve watched a lot of cartoons over the years and I help people find the cartoons that they’ve looking for; in my spare time, I write exposés on different cartoons that used to premiere on various networks and rate them. I won’t go into detail about my “cartoon resume” but if you’re interested in what I do, go ahead and check out my blog, or read this post here to get started.

Regardless, I feel that it’s my duty to my followers and my blog as a whole to write an article about what I’ve seen thus far and my opinions about The Dragon Prince.

And honestly?

It’s not that great. Shocking, I know. Unpopular opinion? More than likely. Will I get flack for it? Probably, but I’m more than willing to accept that.

Here’s the thing. While watching this series, I was keenly aware of all the things that it lacked; I knew exactly what it could be and that’s just not a spot that you want to place you want to put your audience into. It then appears to be half-baked, rushed, and disappointing because you know how much work went into the show--- you know how much was sacrificed to get it out on time.

And that’s just sad.

Now, before I go into detail, I feel that I need to clarify a few things. 

As much as it seems extremely unfair to compare this series to that of Avatar: The Last Airbender, that’s exactly what I will be doing but for a good reason. You see, Avatar: The Last Airbender was a trailblazer in a lot of ways. Although it wasn’t the first western animation that featured a large, complicated, overarching plot, it was the first to do so with, not only a plan of how each season was to go and lead towards the finale, but to have such important character growth as well. Shows like Teen Titans, Ben 10, and Samurai Jack to varying degrees all had similar types of storytelling that was present in Avatar: The Last Airbender and these groundbreaking shows helped pave the way for Avatar to even exist. But it wasn’t until Avatar was released that it helped show western audiences the types of stories that could be told in animation. Anime was already telling these stories over in Japan, even premiering some of their stories in the west with television programming such as Anime Network, or Toonami--- but these never really seen such sweeping popularity, and for the most part, was catered towards kids and early teenagers. However, Avatar was so popular that I haven’t met a single person who was a child when this show was airing that hasn’t at least seen the show. (I’ve met one or two individuals who didn’t like the show, but they’ve at least seen it. [Needless to say, they turned out to be very nasty people but that’s neither here nor there...]) It’s probably one of, if not the, cartoon that went from being considered a “children’s show” to being a family show. My parents watched it! My parents loved it! It wasn’t a weird thing to watch this show because it managed to cater to many demographics. And for that, it becomes one of the most influential cartoons within the past 20 years. Avatar has turned 13 years old this past February and it feels like it could of been released this past year. It is simply, a classic.

However, aside from Avatar, there’s not many cartoons to compare The Dragon Prince to. I could compare it to shows that I’ve stated before: Teen Titans, Samurai Jack, Ben 10, Codename: Kids Next Door, and many others. But the problem is that many of these shows focus on one type of storytelling. With Ben 10 and Codename: Kids Next Door, there wasn’t so much of an “overarching plot” that drove the series forward as much as there was character development over a series. You could make a case for Ben 10, saying that Ben 10 gaining the omnitrix and trying to remove it was the overarching plot of the show, but to that I say, there wasn’t a particular finale planned for that “goal.” It was more of a vague possibility that they worked and not every season funneled towards it. There wasn’t an escalation. Not everything was working towards this goal. It was simply there. For Teen Titans and Samurai Jack, there was an overarching plot but at the expense of other things. For Teen Titans, there was an overarching plot for a season; it focused on the problems and the struggles for one of the Titans for a season, maybe even a couple of episodes within a season, but there wasn’t a particular end goal. There wasn’t a final boss to defeat. There wasn’t an overarching plot that connected the overarching plots. It was primarily focused on character growth. For Samurai Jack, it had an overarching plot at the expense of character growth. For the most part, Jack stays the same throughout the series. He may learn some new tactics, become more accustomed to his new surroundings, fight new and increasingly difficult challenges, but he doesn’t grow towards something. He continuously tries to go back home and defeat Aku, but there’s not the constant escalation towards a final battle like there is in Avatar. Because of this, The Dragon Prince is in the difficult position of not only having such a ridiculously small venue to compare itself to, but also the fact that it’s going to be compared to its spiritual predecessor. It’s unfair. It’s cruel. But it’s the only other show that uses the same complete range of techniques that The Dragon Prince uses. I may compare it somewhat to Anime, but seeing as that’s eastern animation versus western animation, I’ll try to refrain from that as much as possible. So while it appears that comparing The Dragon Prince to Avatar: The Last Airbender pre-establishes a bias and unfair advantage towards Avatar, I’m only doing that out of lack of options and opportunity. Otherwise, I will try to remain as objective as possible. After all, The Dragon Prince needs to be able to stand on its own merit, regardless of its predecessor.

Now that that’s out of the way...

One of the first things to comment on is the art-style, and for a lot of people, it’s a bit of a turn-off. For one thing, it’s animated using cheaply produced CGI, which leaves the animation rather choppy.

However, that doesn’t really bother me too much. The character designs are fantastic. The establishing shots and aerial angles of the backgrounds are absolutely stunning. And even while using such a generic type of animation, they were still able to create a unique look to their animation that anyone would be able to identify this cartoon from a mile away. For what the technology they were working with, they did a great job. Could they have used better technology? Certainly. But for what they had, I was generally pretty happy with the result.

On top of this, I was an individual who was able to sit through the awful animation of Ajin: Demi-human and still enjoy myself so... really... it’s not as bad as it could’ve been. (And for those of you who never saw Ajin, here’s a clip of the animation. It’s just... hot garbage...)

Watching all 9 episodes that released yesterday on Netflix, I feel that I can identify 3 major problems that I had with the overall quality of the series.

1.) The Plot Felt Rushed.

The best way I can describe the overall feeling I had from watching this series is if someone tried to explain to me their DnD campaign in the span of 9 twenty-five minute episodes. And to any DnD or Table-top RPG player, this seems like a dream come true. However, in practice? This is a very poor way to tell a story. Having watched way too many hours of DnD livestreams and YouTube shows, I can tell you that when you try and summarize a DnD campaign, it just doesn’t amount to actually sitting down and watching each individual session. Many of the things that the average individual wouldn’t include in their overall summary of the campaign help us feel closer to the characters involved! The weird, crazy antics and conversations that players get themselves into help reveal to the audience (and to each other!) the type of people each character is. If we don’t spend enough time with these characters, getting to know their personality, they’re speech patterns, their quirks, it becomes a whole lot harder to care for what they want or are striving towards. It becomes difficult to relate to them as people and you begin to view them more as symbols, or objects than actual living beings. Watching this series, I felt like I was constantly being fire-hosed with information and plot and world-building and backstory and character growth and new characters and my god how much can you fit into one fucking episode I’m so---- I never had breathing room. I never had enough time to get to know these characters. I never got to see them when things were dull, or they had a long stretch of road to travel, or just having a moment to process all that’s happened. To be honest, I wanted some filler episodes. I wanted an episode or two where we weren’t focused on all the terrible things that were going wrong. I just... I wanted a moment to breathe. And seeing as they only included 9 episodes instead of the standard 24, I can’t help but feel that they should’ve put it off. Now, maybe there was some pressure from Netflix to get this baby out to the public, but really, it was to the show’s detriment. It wasn’t ready. It needed more time. The scripts needed a better once over, another look to say, “You know what? Maybe we should put another couple one-off episodes to make this breathe a little better.” It just... it needed more time.

2.) The Characters Felt Like Chess Pieces, Not Characters.

What do I mean by that? Well, let me explain.

In writing, one of the major things that they tell you is that your characters should fuel your plot. Their actions and reactions should help push your plot forwards; in every scene, they should be working towards their goals and what they want, and if they aren’t well... you should cut it.

If you’re using your characters as chess pieces, that simply means that your characters aren’t fueling your plot, your plot is fueling your characters. Each character does a certain thing, not because your character wants to do X thing, or does something because of X reasons, but simply because the plot calls for it. When this happens, characters become wishy-washy. The small little problems that arise come, not from conscious character decisions and personality clashes, but from lack of communications and convenient drama problems. On top of this, small character quirks, lines of dialogue, actions that actually affect the plot of the story, could be fulfilled by any one of the cast of characters. They aren’t individual people with their own wants and desires, their own personalities and flaws. They simply become pieces to fill a role that’s empty and as an audience member, how am I supposed to empathize with that? How am I supposed to care about these people and their struggles when whatever “3- dimensional personality traits and backstory” could’ve been fulfilled by... anyone... 

On top of this, it causes character motivations to become muddled. They may have a “reason” as to why they act the way that they do, but it doesn’t really affect their personality. 

Let’s take Zukko for example. It’s goal, his motivation, is to capture the Avatar at all costs. Why? To restore is honor. To be accepted back into the Fire Nation with open arms. To make his father proud of him for once in entire life. Because of this motivation, Zukko is desperate. He wants so badly to be accepted by his father that he’s willing to do anything in order to capture the Avatar. This affects his actions. He’s very rash. He doesn’t think things through to their fullest extent. He’s a very angry character because of the fact that he’s so desperate for the love and acceptance that he’s never received from his father that every single failure, every single step back, every single moment that he has to wait and plan and think things through seems like a delay of his desires. If you were to place Sokka, or Katara, or Aang, or any other character in the same exact situation that Zukko was placed under, they wouldn’t react the same exact way and that’s what makes a character individual. If we were to compare Zukko to Rayla, we see that Rayla’s actions... could’ve been Soren’s actions, or King Harrow’s actions, or even Callum’s actions if placed in the same exact circumstances. The fact that she spared a random human soldier, or the fact that she’s teaming up to save the Dragon Prince doesn’t seem like a decision that she’s actively made. It only seems like she’s made those decisions because the writers wanted her to, or because the plot called for it. The writers say that it’s because Rayla wants redemption for her parents cowardice but I don’t really believe it. If Rayla really wanted to redeem herself, she wouldn’t have hesitated to kill the human soldier. If she found the Dragon Prince with the human princes, she would have taken the egg for herself and became the hero of her people. Why would she care about some war? Why would she care about the “fear in the soldier’s eyes” or “the right thing to do?” The only thing that is established that we know about is that she’s trying to redeem herself for her parents mistakes, which is why she’s the fastest, the strongest, and the most skilled in her group. All these... additional actions? They make no sense. They’re out of character. They just don’t... fit. And because of that, they don’t feel real. They simply feel like chess pieces that the author uses to further the plot. Granted, we’ve only seen 9 episodes of Rayla, but even in the early seasons of Avatar, every character’s actions had a purpose even if we, the audience, couldn’t see it, we could feel the consistency within the character. But with The Dragon Prince? There was no character consistency and because of that, the audience could feel that.

3.) Who’s The Villain?

Consciously, I know who the villain is. Viren is supposed to be this big man-ba-jama that’s supposed to be out to kill the prince. Why? Because he wants the throne... supposedly. But... why? What does he gain by becoming the King of an empire at war? Power, sure but... nobody wants power for the sake of power. If he really did, he would have killed King Harrow a long time ago. But instead, he’s simply trying to pull Scar (from The Lion King) with... no real reason? I mean, Scar wanted power because he wanted people to respect him. But I’m still baffled as to why Viren wants the throne...

And as far as The Dark Magic is concerned, I mean... I get why Dark Magic is supposed to be bad. Using someone’s life-force against their will is... it’s kinda horrific. Not to mention, the process appears to be pretty fucking painful, so yeah. Bad Idea™. But like.... what’s the benefit of using Dark Magic? What do you gain by using it? Like, we have 6 different sources of magic. We have multiple different magical ways to solve a problem, why do we need a new “evil terrible” one? On top of that, Viren isn’t... a threat? Like... yeah, he orders to kill the princes. Yeah, he places Runaan’s soul in a coin which is pretty fucking bad but like... with Firelord Ozai, he killed millions of people. He burned his own fucking son just because dared to speak out of turn, like that’s straight up sociopathic. He uses his children as tools and doesn’t care for anyone but himself. But Viren? He... actually cares? And he has legitimate feelings? And maybe he uses his children as tools but at the end of the day, he still actually cares about them and like... Viren legitimately seems like he’s just trying to do what he thinks as right, but doing it in the worst fucking way possible. 

And maybe that’s the point of the series. Maybe it’s the idea that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” but there just... isn’t enough indication of that fact. The series tries to paint these children as “right” and Viren as “wrong” and Runaan as “overzealous” and General Amaya as “misguided” and... when you want to use gray morality, you have to show the good actions people take along with the bad actions. You have to show that the villains are capable of good, that the heroes are capable of bad, and that there’s a reason for everything someone does.

 That’s how you write gray morality. But seeing as the characters aren’t solid personalities and there isn’t really a reason for a character to make any particular action, it becomes nigh impossible to do so.

So, where does that leave us?

Well, it’s not a bad show. The world-building is so vibrant and so alive that I would love to see a DnD campaign or some other form Table-top RPG to come out of this series. The animation was actually surprisingly good for what they were working with. Yeah, backgrounds were a little recycled and a bit bland from time-to-time. They could’ve used some more in-between frames to make the animation more smooth and connected. Even some shots leave me going, “Ewwww.... You really skipped that one for time, didn’t cha?” But at the end of the day, I could dig it. I could ignore it for what was happening.

The problem is that the writing was so rushed. The characters felt lost. The plot was running at a break neck pace. I didn’t understand why anything was happening the way it was. I was just... disappointed. While looking through some gifs for this post, I feel like this one really describes my overall impression of the show.

It needed more.

It needed more time, more character development, more episodes. Just... more.

Problem is that it’s a quality show. It’s so much better than many of the animations that I’ve seen in recent years that it really does become a cut above the rest. However, like I said before, I know what it could be. And that just makes me extremely sad for its lost potential.

Overall, if I had to rate it, I’d give it a solid 7 out 10.

I’m going to keep tabs on it. The first season is always the roughest one, so in the future, it very well could live up to expectations. But for now, it’s just... disappointing. It isn’t bad by any means. I’ve seen some bad animations in my time and this doesn’t even come close to that. But I just feel like it could be so much more and that really bothers me.

If there are any corrections you’d like to make in regards to this post, please feel free to send me a message with your corrections and I’ll get back to it as soon as I can!

Do you remember a cartoon your friends have never heard of? Got a scene from an animated film that you’re dying to know the name to? Send your questions to The Cartoon Archivist and I’ll see what I’ve got in the vault!

[literaila]

not perfect shape yet, but close. i seem to be doing better! it's nice. don't feel like my body is getting burned anymore.

yes. he's just so.. pretty? handsome? literally an amazing actor. i'm going to watch high rise invasion next, when i finish the night manager.

yeah! i do. nightwing is really pretty. i love dc but i'm more of a marvel fan, honestly. just realizing i say 'honestly' a lot.

i think tomorrow i'm going? maybe? dunno. i'm gonna do my homework right now, otherwise my mother would get mad. got reminded like 3 times before she left for work.

it's just ridiculous. i'm sure you look like a slug when you're dancing. pfft.. now that i imagine it, sounds funny. actually, i haven't watched grey's anatomy yet. or criminal minds. both are on the list, though. good god, have you been binge watching it? haven't binge watched anything for a while.

i'm watching gumball! i'm now starting to really like it, it's enjoyable. glad i'm not the only one who watches children shows, otherwise i'd be embarrassed. i heard the recent seasons of miraculous ladybug aren't that good.

it was a nice poem, i liked it. i have to agree with you, immortality doesn't sound fun at all. even without the aging. i mean, you'll just watch people die the whole time. plus, it's boring. who would want to live forever?

actually.. i went to sleep at 1:03. lost track of time. oops? also, if you think midnight is late, then i might as well be an insomniac. i stay up all the way until am, unless i'm really tired.

hope school has been good? i am feeling better, more than yesterday, thank you. i did! didn't wake up once in the middle of night. i may have stayed up somewhat late, but i was forced to go to bed. my phone was at 7% so i was charging it but it didn't work. i don't know why. and then it went down to 2%, so i had to get off it. i used my sister's charger instead. i think i have to buy a new one.

hope you're having a good day and will continue to do so, verity. enjoy yourself!

— 🐢 anon

not getting burned anymore! one for the books definitely, a celebration is required.

he’s just so.. tom. tommy h. an angel. high rise is good, insane, but good. have you seen crimson peak? i think there’s a bit you might like.

i like do specifically for how many more women characters there are (also men i guess). honestly is a very versatile word so i can’t blame you.

yay for homework (not). but at least it’s something to do and you’ll be caught up.

completely ridiculous. i definitely look like a slug, but a very attractive slug i assure you. it’s so wonderful. i’ll never let this go, by the way. never.

a good list, as far as i can see. i like both of them, though i’ve never actually completely finished criminal minds (don’t tell 90% of my blog frequenters). “binge” is a bit excessive. i just… watch it a lot. actually, i have another off period today, combined with lunch, so three hours of watching tv. it was pretty easy to get to season four.

i used to watch that a lot with my brothers. it’s very funny. no need to be embarrassed, child at heart i am. offended, also. the already out seasons are “better” than the first two. cant say much about the recent episodes. the movies are good though.

pfft aging. who ages these days anyway? i don’t know, immortality just seems extensive. why would you want that? imagine if i’d lived 200 years ago. that’s terrifying.

oops. uh huh. insomnia comes and goes for me and most of the time i trick myself with melatonin. honestly though, as long as you’re not dying majority percent of the time, staying up late is fine.

schools fine. boring, as usual. time to sit, and watch tv. might drink water. exciting things only.

chargers are so annoying. why don’t they work? why cant they be immortal?

think i’m in the mood for rhetorical questions today?

glad you’re feeling better, darling. very glad. so glad. i now recommend more tv, less homework, and strawberry pocky (even just imaginary) because i want some too.

-v

[fadedtoblue]

Meeting Jon and Elodie!!

Ahhh, I wish I could have posted this sooner, but between the traveling and just trying to gather my thoughts, it took a while. Also I get really word vomit-y (as you’ll soon find out) and then I have to edit back the word vomit a bit so that it’s still comprehensible instead of just gibberish...but eek, so much to share! I’m also breaking my own rule about not showing my face b/c...well, I need to show these pictures off! But please please please don’t repost my pics. Like seriously, just don’t do it :). Thanks!

Now I actually didn’t post about a very crucial part of my day yesterday, mainly because I wanted recap it after the con was done, so I’ll bounce back to that first, which was *drumroll* -- meeting Elodie! I credit this first unplanned meeting to soothing my nerves enough so I could get up the courage to chat Mattelektra with her today...anyway, stay with me, I’m going to get there. I had always planned to do this on Saturday after my photo ops so I’m not, you know, spending so much $$$, but after I discovered that Elodie wouldn’t be doing the panel after all, I decided what the hell, I’d just go ahead and meet her first. First of all, her outfit on Day 1 -- stunning. Like omg what an Elektra red and she looked absolutely stupendous and I was more than a little starstruck. I’m very grateful to the event guy working her table because he was super kind and helped to break the ice as I was coming up to Elodie. I got to show off my Elektra shirt and the Elektra pin on my bag, and she immediately wanted to know where she could get the same one! 

At this point it gets a little fuzzy because I was legitimately SO nervous. She jokingly said to me, “Wow, so you REALLY love Elektra!” and while I definitely fumbled over my words a little bit, I think managed to communicate that my love for Elektra largely came from her performance on the show. I babbled a bit about how I had been a fan of DDS1 but it was really her characterization of Elektra that got me completely hooked! We also talked about SDCC because I mentioned I had come from San Diego and she spent a few moments talking about how crazy that whole experience was. I gush a bit about Defenders at this point since I was able to tell her that I got to see the first episode in Hall H, then binged everything with my husband when it came out, etc etc. I’d wanted to talk a bit more show stuff with her but we both got sidetracked because I’d picked up a few different comics that she could potentially sign and we were looking at them together and trying to decide which one she’d autograph (for the curious, they were Elektra Vol 3 #2, Daredevil Vol 2 #37, and What If Elektra Had Lived) -- she hadn’t seen the DD and What If ones before, and I asked her if she was familiar at all with the What If story. She wasn’t and asked me to tell her what it was about (and you know I LOVE THIS ONE) so I gave her a quick summary and she seemed very intrigued and said she would have to go shopping later to pick up a copy. I told her that I kind of wish she hadn’t autographed it because I would have loved to give it to her, but she was very gracious and sweet about it! After this, we took a selfie together, and me being a nervous fool completely forgot to take my phone out until she gently asked me if I had a phone, heh. Here I am, looking like a dork next to Elodie Yung. Ahhh!

After this, I went to attend Jon’s Q&A, which I posted a bunch of videos from last night. Dude is awesome. I feel like I don’t want too much of his press usually so I didn’t have any major expectations going into it, but he was really genuine and thoughtful and keen on sharing as much as he could with the audience (though if it was about the Punisher show, he shut the hell up lol). Anyway, it was truly a highlight (got to sit front and center which was awesome) and if you haven’t seen it yet, you MUST watch the short clips I took of Jon calling Elodie during the beginning...it’s priceless stuff!! (1st video | 2nd video)

Okay, fast forward to today! I got to do my two photo ops with Jon and Elodie, and then just Elodie. I debated whether to bring my Funkos but decided what the hell, I’m probably not going to have this moment again, let’s make it cute! Elodie was very excited to see them -- she loved that the Punisher one had a black eye? And Jon was like, wait, what do you want me to do??, and I said, just hold them and smile big and Elodie was like, yeah, you know, your job. So cute that one! Jon clearly did not follow directions lol. 

And because I’m such a friggin’ superfan (like, there was no way to hide this at this point, I just had to own it), I go back and do my solo op with Elodie. Who totally recognizes me and attempts to make small talk even though it is frowned upon. I asked her if she could hug my DD tsum tsum which she was super game for. Again, she looks freaking adorable here! 

Last thing on my list was to get their autographs on my group photo before I had to leave town. I started at Jon’s because there’s a bigger line and honestly, it was a lot of fun watching people interact with him. Like he’s so naturally charming, I think I hadn’t really seen him enough outside of his shows / movies to evaluate this, but crap, I get it now. And his VOICE. I feel like all of the ladies were in a tizzy haha. He even held a freaking baby while I was waiting. Honestly, I would have asked him to hold my baby too. Oh and he was chewing gum like a fiend, which I only noticed because he kept playing around with it while he was talking to people. And like he literally had tubs of Orbit gum and was like, shaking them into his mouth in massive doses. So...fun fact of the day for you Jon fans? 

I did realize as I got closer to the front that I had no freaking idea what the hell I was going to say to him, mostly because I’d been using all of my mental energy thinking about what to say to Elodie. So unfortunately the moment here was fairly short. He was super sweet and polite, said Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Jon :), which was kind of adorable. He was excited to see the photo we took, and spent a few brief moments exclaiming over it, like awww Elodie is so cute but ugh, look at my ugly mug. To which I promptly rebutted that he was plenty handsome and he gave me a smile. He was thinking kind of hard about what to sign and ended up adding a nice big heart which was very cute. Then I asked if I could give him a hug, to which he said of course!! Got up and came around and gave me a nice big hug. I told him thank you for coming out and he said Thanks mama, you have a good one (or something like that) and damn if that didn’t make me a little shaky. Which basically confirmed that I’m screwed if I ever meet Charlie Cox. 

Okay so THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF FRIENDS: MEETING ELODIE AGAIN. When Elodie saw me she was sooooo nice (instead of being like omg you weirdo lol), and was like hello again!! You’re really making the most of your weekend!! And I was like yes, yes I am :p. Told her how I came here solo just to get to meet her and Jon, left my two littles at home with my husband, and we got to small talk about my fam and I got to tell her how my youngest daughter stole my little stuffed Elektra and won’t give it back (true story, she refused to give up her Elektra so I had to buy another one). But here is nice little moment :) -- after our first meet the other day, I wanted to get her a copy of What If Elektra Had Lived so she could have her own, b/c let’s be honest, she wasn’t going to be able to shop while she was there, and who knows when she’d get her hands on it, if ever. So before I gave her my photos, I referenced our first meet and handed her a copy of What If Elektra Had Lived I’d bought earlier that day. She was like omg! and seemed genuinely surprised and pleased about it, like she actually got up out of her chair and came over to give me a hug, which was like eek! So that was such a lovely memory to have of her!

As we’re figuring out how to sign the new pics, I mentioned that I was super bummed she didn’t get to do the panel the other day (to which her and her manager provided a really nice explanation, and Elodie seemed genuinely disappointed to not have done it) and that I even had a question prepared and everything. To which she said, well, we can just have a chat about it now! To which I was like uhhhhhhhh OKAY. Ahhhh!

I’m going to bullet point these so 1. they’re easier to read and 2. so they don’t get lost in the shuffle b/c I’ve already wasted too much time babbling (ugh, I’m sorry, I overshare details, I know!). Keep in mind I didn’t want to be over the top or too serious / intense so I didn’t ask my actual question for the panel b/c it seemed a little too much, but instead just tried to let it flow naturally so that if she had thoughts she could share, and if not, that’d be okay too!

First, I reiterated what a huge fan I am of the Matt and Elektra relationship (understatement of the YEAR) and how she’s done such an amazing job with it and my question was whether she knew they were going to go that direction on the Defenders with Matt and Elektra because my god that ending was beautiful, and romantic, yet messed up at the same time. She was like YES I know!! And then shared a few thoughts: Marvel doesn’t tell them ANYTHING, but she asked a lot of questions so she could find out more info / clues and so yes, she did have a very good idea of where her arc was going to go. She was very excited about the storyline but you know, couldn’t say anything about it so she wasn’t sure how people were going to react but she had hoped they would react well. I, of course, told her that I LOVED IT, that it really hit me right in the heart.

This lead into a bit of a discussion about Elektra’s fate, and she was so adorably indignant about it like, there’s no way Elektra didn’t survive right?? I said of course! Who else was going to save Matt?? Which made her go like oooooh...but she quickly clarified she really doesn’t know how they’re going to explain it, but the agreement was implicit. She emphasized again that she doesn’t know if she’s going to be back but again...there has to be more Elektra, right?

Then I asked her how it was working with Charlie and if she had some favorite scenes they'd done together. This was a lovely bit of conversation for obvious reasons :D. She loves working with Charlie and had very kind things to say about him -- how he’s such a generous actor, always willing to try different things, and that all of their scenes together are such good scenes. But if she had to choose a favorite, it would definitely be the bed scene in 2x08 -- and she’s setting up the scene for me, as if I don’t already know it, but it was AMAZING hearing her talk about it -- “You know that scene, when I’m telling Stick I don’t want to be with him anymore, I want to be good, I want to be with Matthew? The bed scene after that." -- f’ing brilliant stuff. She then said her next favorite scene was dying in Charlie’s arms in 2x13. Little ol’ shipper me of course has to excitedly agree about how it was SO good, and I got to call out their beautiful conversation together before the fight and how emotional that made the death scene and I wasn’t expecting that. And then how I absolutely did not expect the ending of Defenders to also be so emotional!! Like the fighting and the emotion of the scenes (and I wish I had been more specific but I was just fangirling tbh :p). To which she was like omg yes! It was so emotional, and the fight was so tiring -- took a lot of days to shoot, but it was so worth it. She doesn’t know if Elektra will be back but she really hopes so, she expressed that it didn’t feel like the end. 

And this point we sadly transitioned out of Mattelektra stuff and into more Elektra stuff because then we were talking about the chances of her showing back up again. She actually had some interesting tidbits here -- apparently she was super surprised at the fan reaction to her in the Defenders. Like Marvel or Netflix, I’m not sure which one, they actually got in touch with her directly, asking if she’d seen the social media reactions?? Based on what they were tracking, she was a definite fan favorite. And that seemed to be a genuine surprise on the Marvel side too. So what that means for the future, who knows?? I did throw in a little hopeful, maybe you could have a solo series, but she kind of laughed it off like ehhhhh I don’t know about that, but I hope I get to come back!

And I think...I think...that was it :). I thanked her for making my weekend, nay, my year with this con, and she was such an absolute sweetheart about it and thanked me too and then...that was it. My glorious moment with Elodie wrapped up as quickly as it begun! But I’m so happy I got over my nerves and got to have a conversation with her like a normal person and I’m so freaking happy she is our Elektra. She is the epitome of class, grace, and kindness and Marvel better keep giving her work!! 

And thank you Tumblr friends for reading this long-ass novel and following my goofy adventures this weekend. It’s been a real trip and I am thankful that I have you awesome people to freak out tf to because I can’t really do this in real life. Anyway, I appreciate each and every one of you, just know that :D.

[bestillmybeefyheart]

Good morning friends across the globe, good afternoon evening and night to those who it applies.

It’s Wednesday. Hump day as some call it, I call it another day on the sofa for whatever is wrong w me that month day. I know its a longer name and finding a card for it is impossible but so is National I May Have Eaten Your socks and I’m sorry day but that doesnt stop me.

So... just a follow up on my world or summary since, you know, I have nothing else to say due to it being so early and my brain is not working.

Leg... doing well. I did 3x10 of my basic foot movement PT work yesterday (dorsal and planar movement, circles, writing letters and numbers). It wasn’t easy, I had to do it slow and not push, but I did it. And since I’m only down a week w my foot in the wraps after surgery not 2 months, it went well. Let’s only in minor discomfort today. I’ve also been putting more weight on it as it comes back to life so to speak. I’m excited, proud and anxious. If I’m going to do this I’m doing it right. Dr also said I dont need PT if I dont want it and that we could review in a month in case I hit snags. I think I can do all my home PT and be fine and once I can ride my bike I’ll be peachy. So good there.

My insomnia is there as always, but since I have the leg pain and some pain pills, Ive been timing my pills halved with my getting near bed time esp if I had a long time. Walking on crutches is literally more work then you’d imagine and by the end of the day I’m super sore as is my foot. So I sleep or med sleep for a few hours instead of being up all night a zombie. FWIW I am not dependent on the meds, I take them purely to stay ahead of pain esp as I push myself and my foot. Always halves and only as really needed. Been down the opiate addiction road before so I’m careful. Despite having zonked out just past 10 last night and waking at 645, I’m still a zomb today like I am every morning. I am not a morning person.

Folks are going out of town for a week starting today so I am dependent on my brother and Uber and what food is in my house. And what I can have delivered. As long as they dont shut off my internet before the date agreed (another story will share next) I’m good. I hope. I’ll be busy working my foot. I have a month of this before next appt. Its frustrating for sure, I feel ok, I want to get out, but I’m supposed to be letting my leg heal. Last time it was pain pain pain and the sofa was great. This time, I want off this crazy ride. At least I can get stuff and Uber. So thats good. And most of you would say “being home a month Dr orders and getting paid is a dream”. It was a year and a half ago. Now it’s just, I need out and a life, lets say that.

Internet... SOOOO, being home all the time, I hit my cap a lot, and before a few months back they didnt enforce it. Bring on the 4k, data flies out left and right, I hit my cap in 4 days of 4k binging, learning that 4K eats your bandwidth alive, esp in the older format. Note, YouTube runs 30-55MBps when playing 4K. Which is why theirs looks amazing. Sorry Apple TV 4K users, they dont support 4K in their YouTube app. (Or any app, their 4K is horrid, dont waste your money on the new Apple TV and if you doubt me, I have hard proof and 4 other peers who agree who are industry). So I call internet provider to see if I can get some help, a break, a discount, some small refund for overages. 7 year customer, they told me more or less screw you. So I told them to cancel my tv and internet and eat my butt. So I have till the end of the month to find a new plan. Or call back until I find a good employee who understands. They didnt even try, just told me tough. Id name the provider but lets face it, any provider name would fit in there. What sucks worst is, I am grandfathered into the most perfect tv package for $30 a month with ALL my channels minus BBCA and Freeform. And I can get my 2 FF shows off Hulu. And Doctor Who off iTunes. The same plan now to everyone else is $80, so Id lose that huge discount. And be stuck with OTA.

Tivo, collection and ocd. I have ocd, I have a desperate need to tivo and download everything I record, collecting shows and keeping track of episodes I’m missing. I will not be able to do that with anything but locals once this change happens. And none of the online streaming tv services let me save the files and convert for Apple TV use. Sad about losing that, it’s giving me bad anxiety. I’m still upset the provider couldnt be bothered to even begin to give a crap. Angry about it too. But I will make sure the new provider knows. I’ve already got one who has offered me a switching bundle that is half the cost of my internet now and free tv for 6 months. Of course they only offer 50/1 and I have 150/10 and use 6-8 of that 10 out every night. My security system can’t even run 1 camera off 1 out, and I have 5 running at night, 3 day, doorbell cam and 3 more in boxes to be mounted. So that is a problem. This whole thing is eating me inside. Which is why I want to get on my feet and biking, an hour or two on the bike is not only good for me physically but also emotionally and mentally. And its 1-2 hours Imnot using internet or watching tv.

Let’s see... I finished my chili sadly. 6 meals out of 1/2lb of meat, 1 can beans, 2 cans tomatoes and some Williams seasoning plus water. FTW. I just wish I had more I love me some chili. I could have made that last bowl be 2, ate more crackers but I had the last crackers so I ate all the chili. It was damn good. So worth it.

Lists... I missed this as I was not really “here” but I have to say this and its all I will say, making lists is bad, burn books, etc, any list that excludes no matter how well intended, is a recipe for disaster. Names that shouldn’t be there get put there, people are ruined, others worry they are on it even though they are good people, it ruins friendships and more. Hitler had lists. McCarthy had lists. Say no to bad people lists. Love you fellow man and woman and whatever you identify as, hug and talk and show them you are good and care, that is all that matters.

Stretch yawns - you know how great a stretch yawn feels? It doesnt feel so good when it makes your injured leg move in ways its not ready to move, tightens muscles that aren’t ready to tighten. And yet,I just did it and it felt good overall minus the foot pain. A good stretch yawn can solve world problems. its like a yoga move that your body just knows. :D

What else... Its 50f here. Sun is up and bright, so bright that the light coming through the door is so intense I thought the kitchen light was on and barked out an order to Alexa to turn it off. It didnt, I asked again, then realized DOH it’s sunlight. Silly windows. Lol. I’m old and slow so excuse me if I take a minute to catch up. I’m like watching a movie on a dialup modem, I take a long time, you have to watch me buffer a lot, but in the end I’m worth it. :D Ha, sorry couldnt resist.

Speaking of modems. I found out that AT&T throttles you when you’ve hit 10GB of internet usage via personal hotspots. (Was looking at it as a stop gap for home but I’d hit 10GB in a day.). They throttle you down to 2x 56k modem speed. Seriously. WTH? Its 2017, most major countries have crazy cheap and fast internet and no one is throttled. Here in the US, the providers run wild and unchecked and do whatever they want because they know you are screwed and cant do a thing about it. Sounds like our countries leader right? Except I cant call and cancel him. I wish.

Since its Wednesday, I was going to do a hump day picture, but my camel is in the shop. So here’s a gif of a goat instead.

Love, b

PS, get this, a search for “goat” in the GIF section here came up with NO GOATS. Its a goatsperacy!!!

Still love, b

[jess-oh]

Reflection

Hey journal!

I didn’t get to write a reflection yesterday so here it goes today! Tbh, I tried to write one this morning but I was just feeling beyond stressed out. I found out that I’m not actually qualified for the Developing a Marketing Plan class and realized how much I wanted to stay in it. I feel pretty good about all the classes I’m taking this year! I think I’ll actually be able to learn a lot and get a lot of practical skills out of it. And that includes my marketing class! But yeah, it seemed like I wouldn’t be allowed to stay at all since I don’t qualify and technically, I could get away with just not taking 5 classes this semester. But I really want to! I think I could do everything so long as my manage my time well enough! I really do. God, please let me stay in this class! But if it isn’t your Will, then I admit I will be disappointed but will accept whatever your Plan is. Maybe you want to me to dedicate more time into my spiritual life or serving/investing at Lakeview and if that’s so, then that’s fine. I’m just going to hope for now that I do get to stay in that marketing class!

Overall, I’m feeling a lot better today. I’m feeling more optimistic about my other options and I’ve gotten a lot of work done. I slept in again this morning which was pretty nice and got to wash all my dishes last night. I want to make more of an effort into staying clean and organized this year, especially since I’m sharing my apartment with Emily and Eliza, both of whom are my friends. I know I wasn’t a great roommate last night but I do want to try to do better this time! I’ve been swallowing my pride and just taking out the trash when I see it’s getting too high or cleaning the bathroom. I need to learn to be more humble and really die to myself! And I do really want to. I do. So far, ASO has been going well on top of school and work and I’m excited to meet my other co-workers. I’m sad I don’t get to work with my old friends as much anymore but it’s always a pleasure meeting new people! :D

I’m currently at Jenny Chang’s house bc I’m spending the night at her place before the 3k/5k run tomorrow that I’m volunteering for! I just had dinner with my old downtown life group plus Jason and it actually wasn’t that bad! I thought it’d be more awkward but it wasn’t! I was able to hold my own with everyone pretty well! I was actually kinda surprised that Chelsea chose to talk to me specifically but other than that, I moved in and out of conversations with multiple people. I was actually really glad Jason was there because I do think I’m the closest with him. I feel like Moonhee and James don’t care about me as much as they do about Angela and I understand that they have more history with them but whenever I don’t give a lengthy response, they don’t ask for more. And whenever I do, I feel like they stopped caring. It’s pretty discouraging, tbh and I should communicate how I feel to them to prevent it from happening to anyone else in the future but…idk. Maybe it’s fear? Because I’m not that close to them? Am I allowed to say something like that to them? Sigh. I don’t know. I never even see them anymore anyway. Anyway, I got about 20 pieces of sushi but Chelsea and I accidentally got each other’s plates so we switched halfway through but we were both pretty happy and full. I was careful not to order too much again! It was getting harder towards the end but I finished without barfing or anything! I’m glad Angela and Chelsea are so close and I’m glad Jason and Angela are dating. I am sad that I’m not a part of the picture a lot but bc I know how it feels being excluded by them, I can make more of an effort to make sure no one else is in my position. I know sometimes I fall victim to just wanting to fit in so I do not reach out but I do want to get over that! I really do. It really sucks feeling left out and I’d rather I’m able to help even one person feel welcome and be ostracized by everyone else as a result than to always be walking on eggshells and afraid to displease my friends. Plus, I feel like when I don’t really care about what others say, I tend to get along better with everyone because I exude more confidence. I’m glad I’ve been able to get along so well with all the adults and even though I don’t get along that great with the other people in Movement, I do get along pretty well with the youth group and adults post college, so. And plus, I don’t think most of them are going to stay anyway! I’ve always been like this. I don’t get along super well with the people my age bc more often than not, they’re just interested in gossiping and I really hate that. But yeah! History of Communication Design went fine today. I just need to try really hard to study outside of class and care more about the content and passing than trying to fit in and “not care” with my friends. My Thursday night shift went fine and I ended up getting Taco Bell with Michaela afterwards. Apparently I fell into a major food coma last year after eating too much McDonald’s and Kumiko called me out on it? Haha. I vaguely remember that but not in super clear detail. I do remember feeling tired but I don’t remember it being because of McDonald’s. At least, according to Meghan. After that, we rushed to catch the bus, I ate my $5 taco box and binge watched a couple episodes from “The Good Place” and then I went to sleep. And today…after class I stopped by the first floor cafe to get some food but they were actually closing up shop. But the guy who runs the shop was nice enough to give me the last muffin, 3 long johns, and a banana! Haha. I ate the banana and a long John and gave the rest away! I gave a muffin to Sierra to whom I saw on the 9th floor, a long john to Evelyn’s friend, and the last long john to Thor! Scott later joined us in the computer lab and we all joked around a bit before returning to our own work. I got to finish my article and response for Negotiation Skills and finished writing my paper for Developing a Marketing Plan. I sent it to Andrew to critique and I still need to annotate my other article. Then I went to my ASO e-board meeting and we reviewed plans for the future. We ended up ending earlier than anticipated so Tina and I ate some pizza and played Battleship together in the library. It was actually really fun and I wish I stayed longer! Especially because Angela texted me that we would actually be meeting at 7pm instead of 6pm. Except she texted me at 6pm so I was already there. I just browsed Target for a bit and looked into the 6-cube organizers and foldable desks. After finishing all that, I started reading 1 Samuel and then I headed to Moonhee and James’. And to circle back, I took the train to Dempster with Jason where his little brother(?) picked us up. I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly so I didn’t mention it in the car when his brother picked us up but I wish I did. I think Jason thinks silences between us are awkward but I actually don’t mind. But we were both fine with not talking once we transferred to the purple line. I sometimes wonder if Angela is worried about how much time I spend with Jason despite us not having any romantic feelings for each other whatsoever. I don’t know if I want her to feel jealous of me or not. I don’t think I do. I already don’t get along super well with her and I feel like this would just make things worse. But yeah! I am glad I got to spend some time with him and just talk about stuff casually. I am. I’m glad we’re friends. And even though he might move away post college, I’m really happy I got to spend this time with him.

Finally, this morning I found out Claire Wineland passed away and I was pretty upset. I rewatched her Zappos conference video as well as another one of her asking for our help to donate money for her lunch transplant. She died on September 2, 2018, only a week after her lung transplant. I don’t think I’ve ever meet anyone so genuine and humble. She could care less about living to be healthy but she’s so honored for the opportunity to serve people and she was so sad that she might not have that chance without the money. All she ever wanted to do was help other people and that’s honestly so amazing. I respect her so much and I am so glad that I discovered her and was able to share her legacy with my friends. I hope she never dies in our hearts.