#I adore the idea of amber not getting as cold cause of her pyro vision

[sexysilverstrider]

Thawed Heart (Kaelumi)

  He doesn’t deserve to be loved.

  “You’re not my brother!!”

  Those words ring clear in his mind no matter how many times he tries to shake it off.

  A twisted smile curls the corners of his mouth. How pitiful it feels, to know that the grim memory will always plague him no matter the amount of alcohol, no matter the amount of knight work he has drowned himself in. The brutal reminder that he was at fault—he is, still. The sickening images of him clashing steels against the young boy whose innocence he has killed. The cruel slap of reality that he felt no guilt, but instead satisfaction at the death of the man who took him in.

  He doesn’t deserve to be happy.

  “Kaeya?”

  And yet, happiness is what mocks him at arm’s reach.

  Crystal blue eye gazes at the young woman next to him. “Yes, my fair hero?” he responds, simple and sweet, just as the smile that he so craftly curls due to years and years of practice.

  It seems to pass right through her.

  “It’s getting dark.” She simply states. Her head cocks upwards, amber eyes gazing at the orange hue. “Let’s find a place to camp out.” Her voice is as cold as ice, yet laced with gentle sternness that radiates her entire being. Giving her head a turn to the left, she spots Paimon and Razor eyeing a couple of wild hogs not far from where they are standing.

  Judging by the glazed looks and drooling mouths, Lumine stands firm on her suggestion.

  “Let’s go hunt for dinner and then I’ll ask Amber to build a campfire.” Not waiting for the knight captain’s response, she finally brings her gaze back to him.

  She always seems as if she is looking past the mask he so deliberately wears.

  And yet, “Your orders, Ms Lumine.” His smile remains in place.

---

  Moonstadt doesn’t have seasons as far as he remembers, but the weathers can differ between long months. And as luck pushes it, their little quest together is brought upon a season that is warmer than usual. Thankfully, they are shrouded in a land filled with thick trees, but even that brings sweat and fatigue faster than usual for the group.

  Amber doesn’t seem to mind, though, but Kaeya figures it must be the vision in her that makes her adapt to the hot weather.

  The crackle of fire soothes their sights. After a hearty dinner, both Amber and Paimon are knocked out for the day. The pyro-user snuggles with her doll, all while huddling into a sleeping bag that Lumine assumes has thinner material considering the low heat for tonight. Paimon is sprawled next to Amber, tiny arms and legs spread apart as if she is making a dirt angel on the grass beneath her. Razor remains awake as he stands on a nearby cliff, keeping night-watch as usual despite Lumine’s disapproval.  

  “I keep Lupical safe.” He merely answered when she insisted that he should rest before their journey for tomorrow. Before Lumine could retort further, Razor simply ran away and kept watch at a distance so that she wasn’t able to lecture him.

  Smart boy, Kaeya thinks back with a twitch of a smile.

  “Are you not sleeping?”

  Her voice, soothing as it is, brings him back to reality. “Ah,” he replies, head turns to the left, “maybe in the next hour? I do want to enjoy these precious moments with the most famous hero in Moonstadt.” There it is again with her sugar-coated words, with the perfect curve of a masked smile.

  It always goes through her.

  “You don’t have to push yourself.” Amber eyes are fixated in the flickering flames. “I saw that you fought your hardest when we faced that Oceanid. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t think we were able to face those stupid water creatures without slowing them down.” God, she still feels the ache on her lower back every time she thinks back about the water crab. Stretching her legs forward, Lumine sighs slowly.

  Her actions somewhat tickle his throat.

  “It was all thanks to your brilliant planning.” Though he was at shock when she told him that they were going to face the dreaded Cyro creature today, Kaeya was—in rare cases—at lost for words at the amount of times they faced the Oceanid today. As calm as she looks, the knight captain oftentimes forgets how…ruthless the mysterious traveller can be.

  Well, they all survive, so that’s what really matters.

  “So,” he eyes the abundance of materials piled up next to Amber and Paimon, “what’s the occasion? I don’t think you wanting to annihilate that Oceanid 5 times per day is some sort of new dangerous hobby?”

  He sees her shift.

  “It’s…” Hesitance bites her tongue, “for a friend.”

  Crack.

  He ignores the slight twitch in the corner of his good eye.

  “Ahhh…” A simple reply and a single nod. Curiosity clouds his mind. An emotion he does not wish to acknowledge flicks his heart. “And dare I assume that this friend didn’t actually request all of those materials?” Legs crossed, Kaeya leans further to get a closer look. The light of the fire allows him to see the shape of her face, the shape of her body. Though legs are bent and brought closer to her chest, he can see the tiny frown that tugs the corners of her mouth.

  She looks absolutely adorable.

  “No.” She shakes her head. “It’s more of a gift. He helped me a lot back in Liyue and I figured all these materials will help repay him for his cooperation.” Slender arms hug her knees. “Besides, he did show me around in Liyue, so all the more reason I should repay him for all the kind deeds he did for me.”

  Crack. Crack.

  Kaeya ignores it as best as he can.

  “I see.” His tone dips quietly. “That’s a shame. And here I thought I showed you a great time in Moonstadt despite the lack of rewards.” His words are masked with a smile. His words are hiding the aching vibrations in his chest.

  He sees her eyes roll.

  “I did pay you back. Remember that time we fought that Cryo Regisvine?” Oh, she especially does not want to remember that, either. “I couldn’t feel my fingers for a few days after fighting it. Amber almost had half a mind to shoot an arrow of fire at me if it means I get to feel warm.”

  Oh, he definitely remembers her gifts, alright. That was one of the days where it actually brought a sense of surprise from the knight captain.

  It seems that he is…unnerved that he isn’t the only one with the special treatment.

  “Ah, but I joined that fight too, remember? So it felt less like a surprise and more like a task.” Beautiful lips curve to a playful frown. The action brings back another roll of her eyes. Cute.

  “Are you suggesting you don’t want to join me in those quests then?”

  His eye widens. “Now how did you conclude to that idea?”

  Her head lowers until her chin rests on her knees. “Because it sounds like one.”

  Fuck, his rapid heartbeat is betraying him.

  His mouth holds back a smirk. “Now, now, Lumine.” Slowly he slides closer, itching to feel her warmth that soothes his traitorous heart. “Don’t sulk, my dear. I was merely teasing.” The light of the fire illuminates the curve of her nose, the glint in her eyes. Strands of blonde locks cascade down the side of her head, and his fingers itch to gently brush it to the back of her ear.

  He wonders if she feels the throbbing in her chest too.

  “Hmm…” Either lazy or tired to respond properly, Lumine looks back at the fire. Despite night has blanketed the sky, she still feels trickles of sweat on her neck and chest. Discomfort causes a tiny growl that bubbles behind gritted teeth. Legs once again stretched forward, Lumine wipes away the sweat on her neck.

  “Uncomfortable?”

  Her palm moves to her collarbone. His eye follows her movement.

  “A bit.” She isn’t a fan of hot weathers, anyways. Her other hand fans the open spots on her chest.

  Crystal blue eye remains silently on the place she is fanning.

  Emotions hidden behind the dim light of the fire, Kaeya then opens his mouth, “Do you want me to cool you off?”

  That ceases her wiping and fanning. “I’m sorry?” Quickly she looks to the side, amber eyes finally meeting a single glint of such mesmerizing azure.

  He should stop himself. He should brush it off again as a joke.

  “I’m a Cryo user.” Instead, he continues. “My body basically radiates cool.” Lost between the fine line of jest and seriousness, Kaeya spreads his arms open. “See? I’m not even sweating.” A smile he so proudly wears beams next to the dancing fire. “If you need to cool off, your personal cooler is right here.”

  He stops. Finally. He should have stopped at her quizzical response. He should have stopped before he could even breathe the first question out loud. As much as many Kaeya is also famous for his flirtatious advances, he should know that Lumine, of all people, would ignore—or in some rare cases, tease back—his shameless teasing—

  His heart thumps the hardest when he feels something—someone—moving closer to him.

  Immediately his eye opens, widens, at the petite figure that huddles closer to his chest. A fluff of blonde fills his vision. A flow of warmth caresses his stiff body.

  “You’re right,” she peeps, meek and softer than usual, “you are cool.” Slim fingers flinch and curl into small fists, Lumine bents her legs closer to her chest. He was taller than her, her head barely reaching his neck as she lightly bumps her cheek against his chest. She is careful as to not hit his bare chest, afraid and nervous that she is invading his privacy even more than she already is.

  Her body welcomes the soothing breeze. A sigh slurs unwarily to feel such cooling comfort seeping into her skin. Momentarily forgetting about her invasion of space, Lumine finally feels fatigue enveloping her.

  Her heart continues to thump madly, to scream in shame at her thoughtless action. A part of her was taking vengeance in all the constant teasing he had given her. Another part jumps to the invitation, despite knowing it was just Kaeya being Kaeya with his playfully empty words.

  She wants nothing more than to look at him now, to gauge his reaction. But the deed has been done, and Lumine knows she will be in deep shit if she were to pull back now after her foolish action.

  So with arms tight around her legs, Lumine hides her face on his chest.

  Her nuzzling merely causes a single flinch from him.

  She’s warm. The only thought occupies his mind like a beacon in a dark storm. Arms still spread apart, Kaeya gawks at the tiny hero on his chest. He wonders if she can hear his screaming heart. He wonders if she can feel the heat that starts to melt the ice within.

  He then suddenly hears a small snore.

  “Lumine…?” Her name feels so right on his tongue. Arms slowly dropped to the sides, Kaeya casts a peek. Shock continues to intensify to see her finally succumbing to slumber. He cannot believe it. To know, to feel, to see that she has put so much trust in him to be this vulnerable, Kaeya almost feels a laugh rumbling out of him.

  He doesn’t deserve to feel this happy.

  His smile wavers. His eye dims under the faint light. “Oh dear…” Feeling sluggish, defeated by the beautiful warrior so close to him, Kaeya slowly wraps his arms around her. One arm caresses the side of her waist. The other brushes her shoulder until his hand pats the back of her head.

  She feels so warm.

  “How dare you!!!”

  How cruel, he thinks, that the grim memory starts to play in his mind right now.

  She looks so innocent, so content with her dreams. The furrow in her brows is gone, revealing a creaseless forehead that entices him. The curve of her nose catches his eye, observing, memorizing the perfect shape until it rids the one memory he so deeply wishes to forget. Her breathing is gentle, even, caressing the open space in his chest, causing prickles in his skin until he forces a sigh.

  His eye then stops at the sight of her lips, pink, full, hypnotizing him with a desire that burns deep into the pit of his stomach.

  He wets his suddenly dry lips.

  Finally, Kaeya sighs, feeling tired as ever. Though his vision has prevented him from having a proper body heat, he finds it ironic how to feel hot from top to bottom.

  He doesn’t deserve this at all.

  His muscles feel sore. His heart aches terribly in his chest. The memory keeps playing on and on, taunting him as long as he walks on this very earth.

  And yet, his smile softens to a genuine curve at the sight of her.

  “Goodnight, Lumine…” He doesn’t deserve her. Any of this. He knows. “Sweet dreams…” So he decides to be selfish, decides to be foolish as he lowers his head.

  Chup… His lips meet her forehead, then lingers for a few seconds longer so that he can memorize the soft taste of her skin.

  Before succumbing to the screams of his past, Kaeya tightens his embrace and closes his eye.

  He wonders if this temporary happiness can stay forever.

END