#I added the quotes myself. I feel strongly about this lol

[queeringclassiclit]

Elphaba Thropp

from Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire (1995)

propaganda:

“She was castrated at birth,” replied the Tin Woodman calmly. “She was born hermaphroditic, or maybe entirely male.” ...“She’s a woman who prefers the company of other women,” said the Scarecrow. (when Elphaba is born) “Another willful boy,” said the fishwife, sighing. “Shall we kill it?” “Don’t be so nasty to it,” said the crone, “it’s a girl.” “Hah,” said the bleary-eyed maiden, “look again, there’s the weather vane.” For a minute they were in disagreement, even with the child naked before them. Only after a second and third rub was it clear that the child was indeed feminine.

submitted by @florencewelchsgrapejuice

[its-all-papaya]

🫧 (sheets and towels lol)

I was wondering how you usually go about outlining? I’ve always been so terrible at it so if you had any advice or even just explaining the process a bit that would be lovely.

YAY ALL MY LOADS OF LAUNDRY ARE AT LEAST STARTED TYYYY

assign me a chore!!

i'm actually probably a bad person to ask about this because i'm usually kind of awful at "outlining" fics in any definite way. however.... i do kind of have a process, it's just not usually a formal outline.

my USUAL process is to kind of just dump every thought i have related to a fic in a bullet point list that gets added to and subtracted from as the fic develops. if i have pm's with a mutual that inspired a fic, i'll copy paste those into the list to start. if i have ideas for scenes, i'll add those to the list. if there are irl quotes or events that are relevant, those also go in the list. from there, i'll kind of rearrange things in the order that makes sense (either chronologically or by "type" of thing - i.e. for the hollow hereafter, i had a section of quotes with sub-bullets that were just transcripts from each segment of media, then i had a section of "vibes" that were like "lando just wants it all to end, can't imagine ever feeling right again after how dramatically everything inside of him has shifted", etc). once they're in an order that makes my brain feel good, i put them below a page break and start typing actual sentences at the top of the fic in a blank page. then as i'm typing a fic, if i have thoughts about things i want to do down the line NOT in the scene i'm currently typing, i'll add those to the list too as not to disrupt the actual "proper" text i'm building. once i use a thought off the list, it gets deleted so i can see what's left in the bank more clearly. basically everything that is ACTUAL COPY I INTEND ON PUBLISHING gets written from the top of the doc down, then every stray thought i want to preserve gets added onto the bottom of the doc until i use it. there are usually like sections and sub-bullets on that list to keep things semi-organized.

when i DO outline more formally, such as dad lando, it's honestly kind of stream of consciousness. i started with rough, one-line summaries of what i thought each chapter might be (i.e. one was "first meeting", two was "start texting" etc etc until we get to "epilogue"). then i filled in in sub-bullets what i wanted to include in each chapter. some, such as "oscar meets emma" are like SUPER SUPER vague rn. like three sentences. some, such as "lando goes golfing with max" had really clear inspo in my head and are like two pages of rambling. because i felt strongly about how i wanted it to go, i just started typing in half-coherent sentences (honestly how i answer asks here sometimes? this is a good example of the flow i'm talking about). however, half of that extremely rushed, just-trying-to-get-it-down-on-paper musing about this golf outing is probably word-for-word going to end up in the fic because i just let my brain work. and that's how it works a lot of the time for me. i start typing thinking it's just going to be the gist of plot points, and it ends up prose i really, really like because i'm letting my brain work freely.

my MAIN advice for outlining based on my own learning curve:

write down LITERALLY every thought you have related to a fic. whether it's half a sentence, a guiding vibe, a real event that inspires you in ways related to the fic... literally anything. you obviously don't have to use it all, but sometimes those stray thoughts help re-center me when i get kind of lost in the sauce of a fic. when i'm stuck, i just scroll the list and see if anything sticks out to me to use or draw from to get me out of the block.

don't FORCE yourself to outline every moment or plot point. like i said, some of my dad lando chapters are really thoroughly outlined, some are suuuper vague. i didn't force myself to try and plan out any of chapter three bc i wasn't feeling particularly strongly about how i wanted it to go, and it just worked itself out in time as i typed instead. i've outlined what i've figured out, and i'm going with the flow with the rest. the outline mainly motivates me and reminds me what i'm building towards, ultimately, instead of dictating every little thing i want to include. i'm never afraid to say "and then ????? but they end up kissing" and revisit once the vibes have built around a moment.

may seem obvious, but outlines are not final. i've pushed sooooo much shit i meant to include in chapters one and two of dad lando to chapter four bc it didn't hit right when i thought it would. my outline for thh was like six times as long as the actual fic bc i cut out so much stuff i thought i wanted to use. outlines are literally just to keep track of thoughts, imo, and like i said, to guide you. doesn't have to be fully formed to be useful.

hope that was helpful!!! a lot of this is very very similar to how i used to process my research papers in college, so i've had upwards of like eight years now to refine my process and find what works for my brain specifically. so i guess last tip is just try different things and use what works and throw out what doesn't in terms of methodology. everybody's different!

love u good luck writing feel free to ask more about any of this if you'd like 🫶

[jakeperalta]

Yes I agree with everything you said! Now that I think of it..I always read a lot of summer romance type books or set during the summer. Haha with the name thing..for a while it just felt like the book was following me or something. With these books..I guess maybe it just felt like I read it at the right time in my life or like this book was for me..which made it special and it was something I could relate to in my real life which maybe usually other people can't. One of them tells a full story which helped me grieve at the time and the other one is like getting thru the loss..and I read it at the right time for that too. I get why some people wouldn't like them..I didn't think it was perfect either..but I could just relate to it. Like with the Stepping Off Place..it had more characters and somehow I felt like I was every character..then I started making up headcanons or extra scenes or references to other things in my life too..sort of putting myself in all the characters. I remember reading a quote on your blog in the grief tag that said..it helps you heal to see characters go through something you went through so I always think of that too. I also think Stepping off Place would make a great movie..kinda similar to All the Bright Places or Looking For Alaska. Ever since Taylor said she was writing a movie..that inspired me and ive been thinking about this lol but of course this is specific to me and other people might not like it or disagree with stuff I added idk. My sister has been kinda working on her own movie too so we have been bonding over that lately lol. I'm not sure about If He Had Been With Me..if it would translate as well but I would want that too. It has more of an old fashioned vibe to me I think cuz it reminds me of Flipped maybe..so maybe like that and the other is more modern..and that might influence which one you like more and they're kinda similar. They both also fit the Folklore love triangle in a way more with liking two people at the same time..which is something I also relate to so I appreciate that perspective lol. This is just to give you more info why I liked it or what it meant to me..and if you are interested..but I'm glad you care about my recommendations! Please recommend me some good books as well!

I love when it feels like you read the exact right book at the right time for you and it's as though the author has put your feelings into words — for me a couple like that were Writers & Lovers by Lily King (fairly recently) and All the Bright Places and When We Collided back when I was a teen. It's always interesting to know why people enjoyed with a book beyond just things like good writing, I'll have to read both and see which one I connect with more. Also that's so cool that you're thinking about movie writing (with tour and rerecords going on I keep forgetting that we've got Taylor's movie coming up at some point!) I think when it's with ideas that feel really specific to you those can often be the kinds of stories that actually resonate strongly with someone else who's had a similar experience or feeling!

[weaselle]

okay as usual i began to worry i'd told people the wrong information as soon as anyone started to pay attention to anything i was saying, so i double checked myself and i feel i should tell you a couple of things

turns out this tribal 15-20 hours per week factoid was popularized by the Original Affluent Society theory proposed by Marshall Sahlins in 1966 citing a specific study conducted by Richard Borshay Lee among the !Kung who live on the edge of the Kalahari desert. In his study, Lee specifically did NOT include food cooking as part of the labor, and in fact only included the actual hunting and gathering.

So, not gathering of firewood, not maintaining of home, tools, clothing, etc just the hunting, and the gathering, took about 17 hours a week.

when you added all the other kinds of labor the study observed like preparing food and maintaining their home and belongings and cleaning up and stuff, adult men and women were both working about 40 hours a week.

BUT

everything you add to make that 40 hours is stuff that we also have to do in some form or another, and none of that stuff goes on our paycheck. We do our 40 hours and then we too have to get food, prepare it, clean up afterward, perform maintenance on home, tools, and clothes, etc.

So in that regard I feel the hours still stand, 20 hours of their main job of gathering and hunting, to our 40 hours

Now, another thing i should tell you is that when i said

'challenging environments like the Kalahari (check, that was a real study) and the Amazon Jungle.'

i was remembering reading that in multiple places. When i just now went looking, i did indeed find many sources that contained that "amazon tribe work hours per week" bit of data, but ... none of them were very credible sources. It's starting to seem a bit like that thing where everybody is quoting each other's misquote of an original thing.

And since an article on the Cuvia people of South America on encyclopedia .com (its not even a specific publication of encyclopedia like britanica or anything lol) references the Original Affluent Society theory in the same sentence, i think maybe something happened like Marshall Sahlins' theory referencing Richard Borshay Lee's study on the !Kung got used early somewhere to say that tribes in the amazon must therefor also work that number of hours, and that's what got proliferated. Maybe, i really don't know. What i do know is the internet is full of blogs and "articles" that mention this supposed fact in reference to various south american tribal people, but no actual studies come up in a cursory search for one.

HOWEVER

i still stand strongly by this part of what i said

if we aren't striving for a 15-20 hour work week, what are we even doing out here?

In difficult environments (like the Kalahari desert or the Amazon rainforest, where life is at some of its most challenging) hunter gatherer tribes spend between 15 and 20 hours per week doing labor.

Not only that but their work week includes chores in a way mine doesn't -- getting food and cooking it isn't even part of my work week, but getting and cooking food definitely is part of their 17 hours of labor. And the rest of the time? they are telling stories, or exploring, or singing songs and playing instruments, or doing arts and crafts, or making up dances, or napping, or playing games, or...

15 to 20 hours per week of labor, that's the standard. If we aren't trying to match that what are we even doing out here

[lynx-paw]

Stray Kids album review no one asked for, but I still did because yes.

Every song has 3 "reviews": before looking up lyrics, after looking up lyrics and final.

1 – Cheese

BEFORE: Ohh the guitar riff. I am WEAK for guitar in this one. Probably a song I’d play waiting for the traffic light to go green. It has nice, somehow fun beat. But, we definitely could have survived without them naming types of cheese.

AFTER: Heh. A real fuck you in not romantic way.

FINAL: I appreciate the entire idea behind the song. Tho, we still could’ve survived without types of cheese.

2 – Thunderous

BEFORE: Idk why, but beginning reminds me of Rhythm Ta. Yes Changbineeeeeeey take it away.

Did I hear it right? "I’m not sorry, I’m dirty." Babes, are we okay?

Ah yes, Aussie line being more Aussie with each passing day. OMG THAT LAUGH AT 2:03 YES.

Oh I def heard it right, I’m not sorry I’m dirty. Cool, cool, ok. The rapapapam bought me, seriously.

It has very Kingdom!Ateez sound to it which isn’t a bad thing at all, I’m a sucker for Kingdom!Ateez. But… I don’t know, I miss either more intense build-up or beat drop. That would, like, totally kill me and pay for my burial.

AFTER: Oh. Changbin’s part is really, really good. Okay, okay, seriously props to whoever wrote the lyrics. But we really could’ve survived without I’m not sorry, I’m dirty.

Kkundeuri wasseoyo and Gyerani wasseoyo need to have a collab if you know what I mean hehe 😉

FINAL: I feel like my precious I.N had so much fun in this one, so I give bonus points. The song is good, the lyrics are bomb, but the sound lacks intensity. I wish they went with a bit harsher tone, the song would be absolute bomb slap then. All in all, I like it.

3 – Domino

BEFORE: GOING IN STRONG YES. Yeah, goodbye brain, I’ll be going around singing Domino, domino, DOMINO. Yo, that stop and then intense rap at approximately 1:15 is very nice touch.

Don’t kill me, but in my very humble opinion, Chan’s parts feel a bit out of place in the song.

Oh… I don’t like the pace change starting at 2:40…

AFTER: Ah, yet another fuck you, I’ll succeed no matter what you say song.

FINAL: Kinda have a feeling it might grow on me after a few days, but right now… Hm. I don’t know. Maybe one of those songs which need to marinate and which might slap after I come back to them randomly.

4 – Ssick

BEFORE: Oh, the beginning gives me Ikon vibes, yes please. Okay, okay, this drop at 0:50 is really good, I like it very much.

This song has nice transitions and per se, variety, that maybe previous songs lack. For now, my favourite song. It is repetitive, just like the previous ones, and that’s not a bad thing, but I think this one has the best mix of repetitive and filled with variety in beat.

AFTER: 3rd fuck you haters song? I mean sure, fuck haters, but isn’t dedicating 3 songs to them giving them a bit too much attention? This one isn’t just about fuck you tho, it’s also about being there for your friends and I like that aspect. It’s like fuck you to haters and i wuw you to friends and supporters.

Also very, very, very important and positive part of the lyrics is “Oh yeah, I know that I don’t have anything special. But, yeah, do you know that I myself am special?” This, boys, girls, rocks and flowers, this is very valuable lesson. You don’t have to own something special because you are special by just being. Don’t belittle yourself. Even skz is telling you that.

FINAL: From all the fuck you songs this is probably my favorite.

5 – The View

BEFORE: Awww very summery song, very sweet since the beginning. OH SHIT I AM CRYING WTF?

Fuck, this reminds me of a feeling, if you get me, but I don’t know which one? I like it. I LIKE IT SO MUCH. YES. BRING IT ON. BRING ON THE TEARS YES. (i am probably the only person being excited to cry but that says a lot about me sush please).

This is one of the songs I’d LOVE to randomly hear on the radio. Just driving to the beach, vibing you know.

And getting attacked by sudden rap and beat change because why tf not, you know?

AFTER: “Clouds like a submarine swim” I told you, summer vibes.

Ah, fuck. Here, it’s this why I cried. I sensed something in the way they delivered this part of the song and it was this: “The road in front of me seemed dark ‘cause i never ever let it go. Now I feel comfortable, I like it, this feeling and I’ll never ever let it go.” Not to be someone who’ll be like Aha! This is the meaning behind this! but to me this reminds me a lot of feeling stuck with bad self-image, both mentally and physically, and because I said this is like a summer song, my brain immediately goes to all those summers I hated my body and this one being the first summer ever that I didn’t actively hate myself. This part of lyrics is for me like finally breaking out of the shell or maybe a better expression, shedding old skin and just leaving it behind, going forward with new, more positive mentality and a sense of liberation.

“I like the view right now” is like 1) i literally like the view (sunset on beach type of vibe), 2) i like looking at you/myself and realising you’re feeling comfortable around me/yourself/myself, and/or 3) i like this new view on life I have.

Look, I could literally quote entire song and give in depth analysis of on what level they resonate with me, but I won’t do that. I’ll just say these are one of the best lyrics I’ve ever read and they’re so well combined with music ughhh. And the fact this song came at the right time in my life *insert chef’s kiss*

FINAL: I love it. It was really good before I read lyrics and after it’s like three times better. One of my faves on the album.

6 – Sorry, I love you

BEFORE: Nothing special for except for the slight angsty tones I hear. I like it, but nothing crazy. I’d like it to pop up on my playlist occasionally. I think it would be an absolute BOP for me if it was leaning more to the rock genre. Like, a bit slowed down with accent just on guitar and their voices. But, that’s just me always being a sucker for rock ballads. For some reason to me, best ballads and most songs which evoke strong emotion from me are the ones which accentuate the words, the voice and one instrument.

AFTER: Very convinced this song is written by the one who is watching Nevertheless (is it Seungmin? or someone else?). My roommate strongly disagrees with that, but look, I don’t make rules, I think, I say.

FINAL: I hate to admit it but it’s catchy. I’d love live band version of this ngl.

7 – Silent Cry

BEFORE: Interesting intro huh. But something doesn’t sit with me right with the rest of the song. I don’t know what. I really don’t.

AFTER: Yeah sure, hit me with depresso lyrics right in the beginning.

FUCK. The lyrics are really killing me.

FINAL: I just can’t suffer through music. Lyrics are amazing, but idk, music is so not my style and somehow don’t suit the lyrics.

8 – Secret Secret

BEFORE: WAIT WHY DO I HAVE EMOTIONS ALREADY IT’S ONLY BEEN LIKE 10 SECONDS INTO THE SONG. Fuck. I’m on the verge of tears. Imagine listening to this and then Ex I would straight up have emotional breakdown. Yeah, yeah, I’m crying. Leave me alone. The softness, the preciousness, the cuteness, ugh I am broken™.

AFTER: Yeah, fuck. I’m crying again.The lyrics are killing me.

FINAL: This song makes me very emotional, I am a literal mess right now. Kill me, resurrect me, kill me again.

9 – Star Lost

Not my type of song. Like, nothing’s wrong, it’s just so not my type.

10 – Red Lights

BEFORE: Well, the beat drop for sure slaps. The song reminds me of something, it’s either a movie or a song, but I can’t remember. And that’s not a bad thing, I just hate the fact I can’t remember what it reminds me of.

AFTER: “I’m staying up all night again.” I see what you did there, tsch.

“Now tell me you hate me I can’t stand you any longer. But I know, you and me, there’s nothing I can do.” this is very good. I like this.

FINAL: This song could be about so many things. Lust, control problems, feeling of losing yourself, not knowing what your stage personality is and what is real you, anxiety, insomnia, depression… The thing they really managed to do is achieving a level of intensity. I like the song more after I read the lyrics, but I have to say I thought it would be much, much more intense and in your face. I’ll let it crawl in my mind and heart. Slowly. Hehe.

11 – Surfin’

BEFORE: I’m not a fan of summer. Or summer songs. But this is good. Wtf. Something’s going on with me lol. I have nothing much to say, I like the song, that’s it hahah.

AFTER: Felix talking about working 24/7 isn’t something I thought I’d hear in such a summery song.

“My head is overheated just like my laptop.” yo Changbin, mood.

FINAL: I hate summer songs, but this one slaps. This is the only summer song I’ll ever love and accept. Absolute bop.

12 – Gone Away

BEFORE: Oh the beginning surely is something. Oh no, no, no, no, no, I’ll cry again. Oh no. I’m dead. Fuck. I’m crying without lyrics, what’s going to happen after I listen with lyrics? Fuck man.

OH SHIT WHAT WAS THIS AT 3:00? THEY’RE PULLING OFF SOME MAYFLY SINGING UNIT THING I AM LITERALLY DEAD HERE. My. Jesus.

AFTER: Yeah, I’m crying a river. Pass me handkerchiefs.

FINAL: Seungmin, stop watching Nevertheless.(Don’t. I need more heartbreak songs ty.)

13 – Wolfgang

- The song I lowkey hated on Kingdom, but it crawled in my mind and heart later. Hyunjin just added some spice heh.

14 – 애

- Not gonna comment much, this could be the worst song ever and I’d still adore it because of what the song means. And who it brought back 😊

[nomadicbeard]

Hi! I saw on one of your posts you said that you used to be a stucky shipper. I actually started off as a stony shipper but then absolutely fell in love with stucky but I like both . I was just wondering what made you "jump ship" on stucky lol. Sorry if this comes across as annoying or anything im just curious!

Hey! As you can see a couple of people have asked me this over the last couple of weeks and I’m really lazy and haven’t got around to responding yet, but the people deserve an answer so here we go. Before we start a quick disclaimer: I’ll only be talking about the ships themselves, not the communities or any of the discourse surrounding them. This is not a ship-bashing of any kind and please do not take it as such, it’s just my own personal experience surrounding these characters and these relationships. 

 Buckle your seatbelts kids, this is a long one.

I first got into Marvel c. 2015. I’m European so I’d never really watched any marvel movies before that, I watched Age of Ultron on a plane and remember being vaguely aware the Steve/Tony was a thing (what is pretty interesting is that to this day I have no clue where that knowledge came from) but was mostly just excited by the superhero stuff. I then got home and watched The Winter Soldier and fell in love. I love the Winter Soldier, it’s probably still one of my favourite marvel movies (it got kicked out of its top spot by Black Panther last year unfortunately) and to me no other marvel movie could hold a torch to it at the time. So I came onto tumblr, searched up The Winter Soldier and was just inundated with Stucky stuff, as expected. I rolled with it, got invested just from constant exposure (it was also around the height of the Stucky ship) and as far as I was concerned, that was that. I was super into Stucky for almost six months and was pretty much your average shipper, I didn’t understand stevetony, loved Steve Rogers, was close to creating a Stucky sideblog wit some ridiculous pun as my username, I was gone over this ship.

Then one day, I sat down and read the man on the bridge by boopboop on ao3. You’ve almost definitely heard of it, but it was the most popular fic in the Steve/Bucky tag on ao3 at the time (for some reason I had just never got around to reading it until then, it was long and I didn’t have the stamina I have now). It was your pretty standard Stucky fic, Steve gets Bucky back, they have to deal with his trauma which results in Steve and Bucky declaring their long lost love for each other etc. etc. What was different about this fic, was that it was all told from Tony’s point of view, and since Steve and Tony were on the same team at that point, their dynamic was a huge part of the fic. And I found myself falling completely in love with Steve and Tony’s dynamic. I went back to the fic for this post (and god it is a good fic) and pulled up the first couple of chapters and instantly just found so many instances of that dynamic

(grade A stevetony arguing over each other’s safety with a side of flirting from Tony)

(Idk why but the image of Steve and Tony not going to sleep, but rather staying up and brewing coffee together was such a vivid one when I first read this fic, I still remember it to this day. )

(Tony picking Steve flowers while trying to desperately play off that he didn’t aka. Tony caring while trying desperately not to care)

(Everyone knowing that Steve would definitely come to Tony, apart from Tony himself.)

Now obviously, this is a stucky fic and I went into it knowing this, but I found when Steve and Bucky finally got together I felt honestly a bit bored, a bit cheated. I had no idea why at the time. I remember very clearly x-ing out of the fic at the end and feeling really uneasy, I came onto tumblr, went straight back into the Stucky tag and all was well.

When I next went back onto ao3, I started out with a couple of oneshots in the Stucky tag, but for some reason it wasn’t working for me anymore. I remember sitting there, a little bored, not at all invested in this relationship and just missing something. I figured I was probably missing Tony’s presence in the fic and so filtered in Tony Stark’s character tag. I read a few of those and all was well but I realised the same thing was happening as had happened in man on the bridge, the moment that Steve and Bucky got together, the fic lost something for me. Desperate at this point, and a little annoyed at myself I conducted an experiment and went into the Steve/Tony tag on Ao3 and as they say, the rest is history. If you go onto older posts on my main blog there’s a pretty drastic, almost overnight shift c. January 2016. I have to admit, I expected Civil War to be a conversion so I enjoyed stevetony without consequence for five months, while still labelling myself as a Stucky shipper because I expected to be pulled back to Stucky after civil war, the reality was that somehow I came out of civil war shipping stevetony harder than ever before. From there, I spent two years reading my way through the stevetony tag on ao3 and finally set up this blog in 2018, with a really obscure reference as my username and it’s been stevetony til I die ever since.

I just couldn’t read Stucky anymore. That’s what I mean when I say on this blog that stevetony has ruined me for every other ship, because it has. Steve and Tony’s firecracker dynamic pulled me away from what was fast on its way to becoming my favourite ship in 2015, all because they had a bit of banter on the side in a fic. It’s kind of depressing really, the sort of hold that Steve and Tony’s dynamic has over me, 

It’s strange you say you fell in love with Stucky, I fell absolutely out of love with it. I have thought a lot about how I ended up falling into stevetony and why I was so drawn to them instead of Stucky in the first place and I think it all comes down the the story itself. To me, Steve and Bucky’s relationship carries much more weight as a friendship, I still have no doubt that Bucky is one of if not the most important person in Steve’s life, but having that be a lifelong friendship is way more powerful and impactful to me, (especially since what I know I misconstrued to be Steve’s obsession with Bucky is actually Steve’s obsession over the past. I’m not saying Bucky isn’t dear to Steve and he does want to obviously rescue him, but looking back on it there’s more to Steve’s obsession with Bucky than just love, it’s a fear of change and it’s him desperately trying to hold onto a past that’s gone.)

Conversely, I feel like adding a romantic element to Steve and Tony’s relationship enriches the story being told, if you look at something like civil war (either MCU or 616 tbh) in the context of Tony being desperately in love with Steve, it makes a lot more sense, especially with things like The Confession in 616 or the stuff brought up in that strange conversation in the conference room in the MCU. There’s lines from Steve like “I’m home/you gave me a home” or even straight up “he loved you” and his tormented behaviour throughout infinity war and endgame that just really makes you wonder, not to mention lines from others like “you two still gazing into each other’s eyes/sounds like both of you got into bed with the wrong people” and they did have to share a bed at Clint’s farm after all lol. The tragedy of their story is heightened if you look at it through the context of them being absolutely in love with each other, just never having actually got around to telling it to each other’s faces. This tragedy is heavily implied in The Oath/The Confession in 616 when they confess their deepest darkest secrets to the other’s comatose/dead bodies, and apparently it’s always been that they love the other person. Actually you could easily introduce a romantic element by making relatively few changes to the MCU, but that’s a post for another time (I have a long and comprehensive list in my notes app on how little you actually need to change to make that happen, it’s literally the matter of a few lines of dialogue and one major story change at the end of IM3, an interesting thought exercise to say the least).

Finally, there’s a quote that came up on my dash the day I made that fateful venture into the ao3 stevetony tag, “your soulmate isn’t someone who comes peacefully into your life. It is someone who makes you question things, changed your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone idealized, but an ordinary person, who managed to revolutionize your world in a second” to this day, it resonates so strongly with me about stevetony. It’s everything I love about this ship just compressed into a quote. 

So yeah it was basically a bunch of happy coincidences, but thank god it happened. As a writer, stevetony has taught me so much about character and dynamic, stuff that is honestly invaluable. When you have long fics that basically detail the day by day life of Steve and Tony post-civil war in rural Italy and consists of them sleeping, crying and working through their repressed feelings (looking at you @silkspectred ), it is the characters and their unique dynamic that drive the entirety of the story. Steve and Tony, in the hands of a compelling writer, can keep me hooked over a frankly embarrassing number of words. I still have a bit of a special place for Stucky in my heart really, it did start me out in marvel after all and it was one of my first ever ships, but your first love is only so good until you meet your true love, not to get all sappy but stevetony has completely destroyed my ability to ship anything else. I might get a bit flirtatious with some other ships, like sambucky (I still love Bucky, and I love Sam!), or the riverdale ships (beronica and jarchie or bust), or even the game of thrones crack ships (daensa til the day we die), but I’ll always come back to stevetony.

So yeah this escalated into a far longer post than I intended to make but I’ve never really spelled out on this blog how or why I ended up jumping Stucky to Stony when I know it’s usually the other way around. I guess it just comes down to stevetony catching me out when I least expected it, and never having let go of me since. 

[bigskydreaming]

Like, the thing you guys gotta understand is my loud opinions are far more defense mechanism than they are “I think I am right and nobody else is ever and people should listen to me only.”

Nah. They’re literally just me being as loud and as visible with the stuff that matters the most to me as is possible....because that actually minimizes the flack I catch for y’know...stuff I’m truly passionate about believing.

For example, my online behavior and tendencies in fandom on tumblr specifically....were largely shaped by my experiences in Teen Wolf fandom. Where I started out being as civil as possible wherever possible, and gradually got louder and angrier over time because THAT DIDN’T MATTER. Its why tone policing is bullshit, through and through. Because the real issue was never HOW I was saying what I was saying, it was what I was saying at all.

See, I flat out don’t like the fandom fave Stiles, as he’s portrayed on the show, and never did. Not from day one. He bothered the fuck out of me from the pilot. And this is a very controversial opinion in TW fandom, and was far more so back when I was first becoming ‘known’ in fandom, whatever the fuck that means or is even worth (seriously, its not worth a lot. You guys, stop putting so much weight in the visibility of more ‘well known’ bloggers....that doesn’t directly translate into the influence you think it does, especially when those bloggers are still holding what the majority of a fandom deems ‘unpopular’ opinions).

But back in my early TW days, I wasn’t really ‘known’ at all, for my blog and my opinions on the show. I was better known for my fics, which at the beginning, I was writing and updating fairly quickly. I’ve published somewhere just shy of 100,000 words of TW fanfic....and the vast majority of that was all written in just the first year or two in fandom.

And the thing is, for people who just found me on Ao3 and not on my blog originally....they weren’t as immediately aware of my bias against Stiles. Because I hate bashing ANY characters in fic. Even ones I don’t like, because the point of fanfic for me, is to FIX my personal issues with the source material, improve on the things *I* especially dislike....so even though I dislike Stiles on the show, in my better known TW fics, he was still present, and I was still trying to be as true to his core characterization as possible, WHILE addressing what I considered his core problem areas.

The kicker being.....a LOT of Stiles-fans LIKED my fanfic depiction of Stiles. A lot of S/terek fans included. You look at my TW fics like Where Wild Things Are or Lightning Crashes in particular....you’re gonna find a LOT of comments from self-proclaimed S/terek fans and Stiles stans....and those are just the ones I didn’t delete when I was forced to aggressively moderate my comments when a lot of those same commenters got loud and angry at me.

Which they did see....once they started connecting my Ao3 account to my blog, and my opinions on the show in general, which were starting to be more widespread in fandom due to some better known mutuals. I mean, its not like it was a big secret. My Ao3 pen name for my Teen Wolf fic is bigskydreamin’. It....wasn’t really anything I felt I needed to clarify, lmao.

But once people realized that the very same writer they liked for his take on Stiles very vocally disliked the show’s Stiles because of behaviors and scenes that I quote unquote deemed abusive (which I do, and stand by to this day).....they went fucking APESHIT on me. Like.....I can not even TELL you the extent of the nasty comments, anons, emails and reviews I got from some of the very same people who previously were glowing in their praise of my fics, especially the Stiles scenes.

All because I didn’t like the show’s depiction of certain behaviors and toxic dynamics, and set out to improve these things in my fic while being true to the characterizations....and which they had LIKED....until they realized my take didn’t come from a place of “oh I think Stiles is just the best.”

And then the fateful day came when one of them flat out asked me why I didn’t ship S/terek and if I would ever write S/terek....

And I had the balls to answer honestly. LOL. I wasn’t even insulting or offensive...just blunt. I told the person that I have serious issues with S/terek because of the power dynamics and the way they’re romanticized within fandom and most fics rather than called out and addressed, and I said I would never have any interest in tackling these topics myself in any kind of S/terek fic because my own past with abuse makes the ship just inherently unappealing to me because of how I perceive it, and I feel zero desire to ‘fix’ a thing I wouldn’t want on any level to begin with.

And they went and told all their friends and lol, RIP the rest of my TW years - and this was probably back in like, Year Two of my time in TW fandom. For a more accurate estimate, look for when I lost the will to update my big fics, because like. What was the point? Any positive reaction I got from updates at the time was just drowned out by the hate I got for adding to a story many of them were still reading, judging by the way my hit counts were still pretty steady with what they’d been with previous updates.....but that at the same time, they were heaping all kinds of shit on me for just....having opinions they didn’t like at the same time as I wrote stuff they still DID like.

The juxtaposition of those two things....lol. Man. Its a trip, I’ll tell you that.

And to be honest, the same thing has been happening ever since I started being more involved in Batfandom. You guys know how I reblog a lot of my own posts? That’s not something I used to do like, ever in TW fandom...because all the content I was making then was fresh. But I’ve always been a fan of Dick Grayson even while I was knee deep in TW fandom, so my longtime followers can tell you....I’ve been making these posts about him all along. A lot of my more popular Dick Grayson posts were written years ago, before I started getting active in this fandom....which only really happened over last summer. 

And the difference in TONE in a lot of my posts, is a lot of the ‘tamer’ posts.....which express the exact same viewpoints I have as in my more heated posts.....is because my ‘tamer’ posts were written as one-offs that I just wrote in passing while in a fandom that generally didn’t have any interest in my Batfamily musings....which did not at all stop me from still making those posts from time to time....because I don’t post ANYTHING for the sake of getting notes. Its literally just shit that’s on my mind, that I want to put out there for people to do whatever the hell they feel like doing with them. 

And so most of the posts I reblog, that seem more ‘mild’....its because I wrote them years ago, they got like maybe ten notes at the time, lol, and I’m reblogging them now because I have more of a platform and think they’d still be of interest to fans of that content specifically....but the stark tone difference is because when I wrote THOSE....nobody was jumping on my back the second I hit post to tell me how obviously wrong and stupid I was for not getting this or that or that and having this opinion on this character or just “caring too much about fictional characters.”

Like, you get what you give, people. You throw shit at me, eventually, I’m gonna start throwing shit back, and no, you don’t get to be pissed about that when all the evidence is there that I’m MORE than capable AND willing to have a good time just by myself....and more than happy to have people join in....as long as nobody’s being a douchebag. But if you get your douchebaggery on and start making my life hell....I’m gonna start raising my voice, because that shit fucking sucks.

The sheer vitriol I got for simply stating that I have no interest in writing a S/terek dynamic I see as inherently toxic due to the inherent power imbalances, BECAUSE of my own history as an abuse and rape survivor, which I was frank about.....it blows my mind. People are literally OFFENDED that in response to questions THEY asked me, I said....I do not like this thing, because of how it affects my feelings about my own trauma. 

Like, for years I have gotten monthly hatemail in my asks for spreading toxicity and hate through the TW fandom and ‘hurting real abuse/rape survivors by misleading people and calling S/terek pedophilic and misusing terms like that’....

And the utterly hilarious thing (in that not at all sort of way), is I have never ONCE called S/terek pedophilic, or anyone who ships it a pedophile. Never. Once!

You know why? Its not even because of my own personal view on whether or not that’s an accurate label for that ship....its because IT WASN’T EVEN RELEVANT TO THE SPECIFIC CRITICISMS I’VE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON MAKING.

Like, I literally never even got AROUND to expressing whether or not I thought that was a label that applies to that ship, because I’ve always had plenty of thoughts just purely on the specific power imbalances as I break them down in my view of that pairing....REGARDLESS of what you label those power imbalances. I don’t fucking CARE about the terminology. My concern has never once been what the fuck you call it, so I never made it ABOUT what anyone calls it, and purely focused on why I think it isn’t healthy just in specific terms.....and yes, pulled from my own personal experience and knowledge of abuse to back up why I feel that way, and to clarify why I feel so strongly about it.

But does any of this matter? Nope. Because all people cared about when directing hate my way for my oh so controversial opinions was not what was accurate to my views, but what was effective in discrediting them.

And the same shit is already happening in Batfandom, and its obnoxious, and tired, and yeah, its why I’m already kinda coming out of the gate hot and heavy, because within like....less than two months of me starting to post more regularly about Batfam specific content and getting some followers who have large fandom presences and boosted my posts to a pretty broad fandom circulation....

Its like, welcome to TW fandom, rinse and repeat.

Hardly any of the actual flack I’ve gotten in this fandom so far has anything whatsoever to do with my opinions on the Batfam....its almost all about the fact that I don’t like noncon/pedophilia/incest fics and am critical of the permissive attitude fandom spaces have cultivated around this stuff. And of the fact that I think the culture of false positivity fandom spaces try to enforce at the expense of marginalized fans who try to speak up about their experiences with racism and other forms of oppression and bigotry online, like, is similarly bullshit. Like, the thing people don’t like me for most of all, is that I’m LOUD and OPINIONATED about saying that these things specifically, fucking suck, and here are my own personal experiences that make me feel that way.

And notice the lack of actual argument with my actual posts. Notice how its all about ME....my volume....my ‘irrationality’....my obvious mental health issues (I’ve heard that one a couple times already, lol - no shit, I’m ADHD, have longterm PTSD, and a literal lifetime’s worth of trauma I’m still actively unpacking and sorting through, lol, what the fuck was the revelation in me having mental health issues? I’m not shy about it, and I don’t use it as an excuse for being an asshole.....guess what? I’m an asshole sometimes, and I can absolutely point to when and where I’ve been one. I’m not hiding it, and I’m not hiding behind mental illness).

Plus, y’know there’s my ‘fake wokeness’ because a white man can’t have any possible reasons or experiences that lead to him choosing to prioritize supporting people of color in fandom over other white people while still firmly being motivated by things that are born of his own life and his own lane, and just *gasp* happen to make me care more about certain shit than other white people do, like.....I’m as transparent as I am about my feelings and motivations for a REASON. I’m not UNAWARE of any of this or how I come across.....the thing so many of you don’t get is that none of this is a multiple choice test where you have to circle the right answer and you pass, you’re a good ally or a good influence or a good person.....all of this is just life. Its just us all making choices and everyone else reacting to those choices in whatever the hell way they choose. 

I’m not trying to win any points with anybody.....if I DID care about cultivating my own influence in fandom, I MORE than have the communication skills to couch my most controversial opinions in language that would be more palatable to the MOST influential corners of fandom, draw more people in, be less alienating or distancing to people who have a kneejerk defensive reaction to a lot of the things I say....like, however influential I may or may not be in various fandoms and various fandom circles....I am perfectly aware of how I could say or do things differently to have MORE influence in broader reaching circles....I just fucking hate that kind of game playing. 

I’m the opposite of trying to win points....I just want the people who are around me and who follow me to actually RESPECT me enough to fucking listen to me and what I have to say....because otherwise, how do either of us even benefit? What’s the point? Who’s gaining anything from any interaction?

So yeah. I’m loud, and vocal, and opinionated....I say exactly what’s on my mind and I don’t apologize for it. I’m an asshole to people who are an asshole to me first, and sometimes I fuck up and I’m an asshole to people who don’t deserve it. And if you call me on that and I pull my head out of my ass soon enough to notice in time that you’re right and I owe you an apology, I’ll do that! And if you don’t want to call me on it and choose to take the offense I caused as a reason not to follow me or interact with me any further....that’s perfect valid and understandable too, and absolutely your right! Do what you need to do for you!

But the one thing that will never ever ever win you any points with me and that I just despise more than anything....is the fundamental lack of awareness, and lack of respect for me and what I’ve lived through....that the S/terek readers of mine who started the chain of events that led to me settling on my current approach to interacting with fandoms.

That thing where some people in various fandoms think its perfectly acceptable and reasonable to like some of my fan content....but then get pissed and upset with me because I don’t like all of the same things you do, think all of the things you do, and am judgmental about various ships you might have or fics you might read or write......and then take this out on me.

Nuh uh. Not okay. Never okay. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, I DO NOT SIT THERE AND TAKE THAT SHIT.

Because the thing the people this describes seem incapable or unwilling to grasp is....

For all your talk of “don’t like/don’t read” and telling me and other survivors to take responsibility for curating our own fandom content and experiences and avoiding things that might trigger us....

Even when I TRY and do that to the absolute BEST of my ability.....some of you still get pissed at me and go on the offensive because I don’t want to interact or be around certain content or people who are inspired to create that content....because of what it brings up for me, because of my various past traumas.

Like, that’s what it boils down to, IN MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. People liking what I have to say, until I say I don’t like something they don’t like and here’s why....and then its open fucking season, because how dare I not want to associate with them because that association is likely to expose me to triggering things they also at the same time expect me to take responsibility for avoiding, so as not to blame anyone else for my exposure to such things.

Can you please maybe understand why that fundamentally DOES NOT FUCKING WORK??

And is not only utterly unreasonable, but offensive to ask of someone who’s just trying to participate in fandom and have a good time and simply STATE when and where relevant, that there are things that impact my ability to have a good time, just as there are things that impact the ability of other fans to enjoy themselves alongside you as well?

Or are we ever going to get around to some people admitting that their fandom experiences have absolutely nothing to do with caring about the ‘community’ people swear up and down exists, and solely prioritize their own personal enjoyment, and FUCK everyone else? (While meanwhile, also being all: but why aren’t they making more of the stuff that I at least was enjoying when they weren’t bitching about not having fun here?’ LOL. Can’t ever forget that part.)

Its just.

You all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. And that doesn’t mean I’m going anywhere, because I have as much right to be here as anyone, and I DO still manage to have a good time a lot of the time in spite of this crap, but that’s never gonna stop me from saying I have a right to have more of a good time and less of a literally triggered time, if any of you might ever care to prioritize that for me as much as you ask me to prioritize your good times for you.

This isn’t me doing anything other than saying....you all are fucking exhausting sometimes, I swear. Because sometimes, I just want to say that. Sometimes, it feels good to say that. And at every time, I have every damn right to say that in any way, shape or form I want to say it, at any volume I want to say it at, because none of this is me yelling at anyone, it is every single one of us sitting safe and comfortable in front of a screen of some kind, reading someone else express themselves and deciding how we want to take that expression and what’s being expressed, and how we want to react or not react in turn.

Like....just...its that fucking simple. That is literally all so much of this fucking ‘discourse’ is. People experiencing life in different ways than other people, and some people wanting to improve their experiences, some people wanting their experiences to stay just the way they are, some people wanting to ignore every experience that doesn’t fit their expectations or desired interactions, and other people just.....idk, just being fucking high, let’s face it, half the shit on this site is just plain weird and I like to assume the best of humanity and just chalk it up to half this site’s user base being high as fuck most of the time they post, LOL. 

*Shrugs* Congrats if you actually read all the way through to the end of this post....like....this is where I reiterate...I have ZERO expectations for this post. I have NO clue how people will react to it, how many or how few people will take it in the way I want it to be taken, especially because *I* don’t even know how I want it to be taken or what I would like to come of it. This is literally just me saying shit that is on my brain in response to my own personal experiences on this site and in this fandom. It is utterly, 100% up to you guys to decide what you do with it from here.

If I have one want for all fandoms, I guess it would just be.....for people to look to their own behavior and motivations and choices and take responsibility for their own shit before projecting onto other people and expecting them to do all of that while still refusing to do any of it themselves.

Too many people keep trying to drive one way on what are supposed to be two-way streets, and being shocked when that repeatedly results in collisions, pileups, accidents and blatant hit and runs.

We all live in a society.

Quit treating other members of that society like they only exist to cater to your existence alone.

[comicteaparty]

January 11th-January 17th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from January 11th, 2020 to January 17th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What’s an unplanned idea you had through your story part way through that forced you to change things?  How did everything go?

eli [a winged tale]

After my beta feedback there were some characters that needed further fleshing out with stakes and relationships. Therefore I had to change some backstories to make certain interactions impactful. Thankfully im at the start so nothing i had to go back and fix. I did think of some alternative openings should the comic goes to print but that can be future me’s worries

snuffysam

simultaneously very little and a huge amount, lol. in terms of big story beats, they've pretty much all stayed the same since i first started planning the comic. the twists have been set up and paid off and the like. but there's a bunch of things i've improv'd at the last minute. one notable example that was pretty well-received - in book 2 chapter 4, taci has a fear of puns (basically only shown in facial expressions and a single comment from mizuki towards the end of the fight). this was added because... otherwise the fight at the end of that chapter is just a bunch of walking around in near-identical dark tunnels. the way the fight ends is fun, but the fight itself isn't really anything. with taci having a reason to be afraid of coruby, the fight has more stakes & entertainment value, and it makes coruby feel much more interesting as a character. another huge example is the love triangle in book 1 - in that in the script, it was non-existent. mizuki being into girls was originally only gonna be introduced in book 2 (guess where), and the relationship between cahe and pejiba was going to advance with no real competition (besides bullets). it was gonna be mentioned in like book 3 that she had a thing for pejiba, but nothing in book 1 itself. (similarly to the pun thing, you may notice that mizuki being into pejiba isn't referenced at all in the dialogue besides pejiba saying "i know what mizuki thinks of me" which is kinda vague. i... don't like changing scripts last-minute lol.)

Mei

Not gonna lie, everything I do is entirely unplanned. I focus a lot on improvised comedy and what feels right 'at the moment', and considering I write scripts way in advance, sometimes it leads to jokes falling flat when I read them again a few months later. Which is all fine, honestly, it's part of the process. The main unplanned idea for My Husband is a Cultist was turning it from a 12 page one-shot into a fully fledged webcomic, now with 3 chapters and more to come. It was very 'on a whim', and from that very first chapter I came up with more silly ideas. And the more I talked to friends, the more ideas I had for chapters. So the biggest change personally was going from a pure slice-of-life comedy and spending time actually building the world around it so that there was structure to the chaos. I'm still working on it all. I now have an underlying plot that I'm hoping to explore, and I have the arcs planned out way in advance. So it's wild that I went from 'random ideas spewed on a document' to 'I now have a plot and several arcs to cover'. That being said, I still come up with a lot of things on the fly, so I'm changing things constantly as I go and hoping that there aren't too many inconsistencies!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

One of the most important story elements of Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) came up early in the second chapter, when I was asking myself some more questions about the world - and came upon a crucial opportunity. Luckily I didn’t have to change too much to make it work, and while it didn’t really change the plot, it upped the emotional stakes 100-fold. Which is just what I wanted. In this world, I have a big naval force, of which my heroine is (was?) the future leader - but with relative peace and cooperation between the different island nations, who the heck does the navy fight? Pirates? Eh, maybe. But vanilla pirates have been done to death, and while they can be awesome, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to tie them into the world’s supernatural element - while strongly avoiding the Pirates of the Caribbean cursed-buccaneer aesthetic. I decided to tie them to a particular blight that affects some of the characters - so as to up their stakes and better convey why they’re societal outcasts. And finally, I wanted to give them a freaking awesome name, something both nautical and supernatural. Thus, for those reading - the Fata Morgana. What didn’t even exist at the beginning of the second chapter is now an absolutely crucial story element, and I’m so happy they came into the picture. They’ve changed everything for the better. This is one reason why I resigned myself to revealing the world in bits and pieces - I’m revealing it to myself as I go along, too. It helps to be slow sometimes

eli [a winged tale]

The Fata Morgana introduction in the story was A W E S O M E! I’m so glad you have them in the story and looking forward to that amped up stakes!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I think the biggest example would be the last-minute inclusion of Jonathan as a main character in my comic Dark Wings: Eryl (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/dark-wings-2/). I had originally planned for him to be a temporary character that we said goodbye to at the end of Chapter 5. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised the main travelling party needed another character to balance things out. I was really struggling with planning future scenes because the pool of characters felt too small. I also realised that I had developed Jonathan’s character quite a lot for him to be dropped so early. So halfway through drawing chapter 5, I rewrote the second half and he’s now a major part of the cast.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

A second example is Anor in my other comic, Children of Shadow: Ashes (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/). He was originally written as a far less sympathetic character. In fact, he was going to be a borderline antagonist who only became sympathetic close to the end. But my characters often do things I don’t expect, and as I was planning the story, he and one of the other main characters, Rava, started falling for each other. I honestly loved this, and so I reworked the entire story to make Anor part of the main cast and much more sympathetic. He’s still a tsundere, and at the point where the story is now, still in constant friction with Rava, but I feel he’s now a much stronger character and is contributing a great deal more to the story than when he was a vaguely ominous frenemy in the original draft.

varethane

ooooo I am intrigued by this factoid about Anor

re: unplanned story elements, in Chirault..... [spoilers obviously] Ridriel and Trillia being sisters was something that hit me out of the blue about halfway through the story, and I immediately reworked a lot of things to make it happen http://chirault.sevensmith.net/(edited)

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

In ghost Junk... We actually avoided a major character death and had revised it literally a chapter before it happened!! We had everything written out right the the very end, but were seeing the readers reactions and reflected on the importance/and if it was absolutely necessary! So with that said, we saved the character, and kept the necessary impact and growth that it was to bring, and honestly- I'm so happy we did it

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@varethane Yeah, Anor’s character has evolved a LOT since the first draft.

Phu

With Blackblood, we actually created the 2nd and 3rd chapters and then thought we wanted a chapter ahead of those as sort of a prologue to give some world building and lore elements haha. Worked out well i think! https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/blackblood/list?title_no=300252(edited)

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

This is kind of the opposite, since I did the "include a new thing in the story" part first, and that's what forced me to come up with a previously-unplanned idea to explain it... In Leif & Thorn, I had a character drop a reference to "that country doesn't allow interspecies marriages" before there's any canon reference to nonhuman species that human characters might want to marry. ...and even I didn't know what that species was going to be. Had some vague idea about revealing that mermaids existed, but in my head I never managed to integrate them with the rest of the plot or the worldbuilding real well. A few months later, I finally remember that I like drawing Tiny People (not like hobbit-size, think Borrowers-size), and realize this is the perfect setting to have a Tiny People Species! Now I get to come up with plot-based excuses to draw them wherever/however I want. Plus it opens up a whole new mine of jokes: https://leifandthorn.com/comic/somethings-cooking-26-29/

Can't for the life of me remember where I got this quote from, but there's an author who, when readers would ask for details about future developments in her books, would only give answers with the disclaimer "I reserve the right to have a better idea." Words to live by.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Damn, I love that quote.

DanitheCarutor

Admittedly there isn't a whole lot I've changed, maybe a couple small things here and there, but major stuff has been the same since I started. During the very beginning of the planning phase Daniel wasn't even going to be in the story and Julian was going to be homeless, but I wasn't quite satisfied with it. The story would have been too short, contrived and the resolution didn't feel satisfying. After some brainstorming and reflection on my feelings on certain experiences I've had, I added Daniel and 'The Guide to a Healthy Relationship' as it is kinda fell into place. It's weird thinking about how important Daniel is in spite of how new a character he is. Usually it takes me a little time to build one up before throwing them into a story, they gotta age like a fine wine first, but he popped out all ready to use like one week hooch.

Not sure if it counts, but I've also made changes to future parts of my comic. Like recently, even though I know what the ending is, I put a more final image in my head on what the final frame will look like. Also I changed an event that will happen at some point revolving around Apollo and his friends. Originally something skeevy was going to happen with Brandon and Apollo involving video uploads, and a homemade contract that was signed with Apollo was drunk. I thought it was too... I dunno, stupid? impractical? So I changed it to Julian was going to (unwillingly) attend a party at Brandon's (Apollo's friend) apartment, then some big, jealousy induced fight happens where Julian gets kicked out and Apollo feels bad. I didn't like that either, felt too reaching, so I'm going with another event that is a little out there but does happen in real life and something I have done some good research on.

Gonna be as vague as possible because it's spoilers.

keii4ii

Surprising myself is pretty much every step of my writing process. For good or bad.

I do plan things in advance, but find that sometimes things aren't what they seemed from 15 chapters ago.

I think what it is is this particular comic is such a visual story. I could plan out my previous comic with far greater accuracy. That comic was more dialog-driven; you could convert it into an audio drama with minimal changes, and it would still make sense. Whereas my current comic, you can't turn it into an audio drama without very VERY extensive changes (not even sure if possible... Many silent scenes). So I need to actually draw the pages to feel it out. And I can't draw out of order. Brain just won't that way.(edited)

carcarchu

totally agree with you @keii4ii sometimes u have to actually draw it out to get a feel for it. when i write out all the dialogue for my chapters i feel like it always ends up coming out so stiff, thats why i prefer to let it flow naturally and if something happens that i didnt account for just roll with it and adjust the story accordingly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I'm kind of weird about always needing to know exactly how many pages a chapter is going to have, so I script right down to the panel. It can create flow problems on occasion, so I wish sometimes I could plan my pages more visually, but my brain just doesn't work that way. >< It's a good thing my stories mostly rely on dialogue because they're pretty much novels in comic form.(edited)

Cronaj

When planning a scene at the end of Chapter 3 of Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366), I was having a hard time writing the dialogue. I had the images of my lead characters, Agatha and Izrekiel, talking by the docks in the moonlight, and I knew generally what they talked about, but I couldn't script it. And then, one day while walking to work, my characters straight up had the conversation in my head! And as the dialogue unraveled, the characters (mostly Izrekiel) did something completely unplanned (which I won't reveal because spoilers). This unplanned change has completely upped the drama and sexual tension for the entirety of the future story. The second event of this is in Chapter 2, where Izrekiel is helping out on Kelan's farm. Initially, there was going to be some dialogue that mostly served as world-building, but when actually writing the scene, it occurred to me that they would likely not talk too much, too absorbed by the work of harvest. And then, I suddenly visualized/heard Kelan and the other farmhands SINGING. I don't know why it popped in my head that way, but they began singing a working song. Now, I am not a musician, but I used to sing in choir and do musicals and such, and like half my family members are musicians, so I have a bit of a musical background. Anyway, all this to say that the characters started singing, and in response, Izrekiel (who has amnesia) has a flashback to some repressed memory of men marching and singing the same song, with altered lyrics. This can get extra spoilery, so I won't delve too deep into what his memory means, but.... The lyrics go as such: Oh earth, oh rain, Oh sun in the sky, You grant me with your fruit In this land. And they are directly mirrored in the flashback with: Oh strength, oh grace, I'll raise my sword, With victory in mind In this land.(edited)

Deo101

For me, I totally changed the ending! I was going to make it a tragedy, and then at some point I realized I didnt NEED to... that a story can be happy and good. So, I rewrote a ton of stuff, and actually ended up adding in some new characters! I'd say It's gone very well ^^ I'm much happier with everything now (for one, I can think about the ending without crying!!) I've changed a lot of other little things as i've gone along too. too many things to count, really.

Tuyetnhi

Initially I was writing the story timeline to 5 days but it spanned to something about a year. Which means I had a chance to develop it further than trying to rush plot points. Used to be like 3 chapters originally but now its like ....I guess 20 chapters? I don't remember the full count but lmao I'm ready to endure.(edited)

varethane

most of the biggest changes to Chirault were decided on during the first 3 years of me making it..... I completely threw out the first plan I had made, lol. There was no specific trigger for this, except maybe for 'I don't like this, actually'

keii4ii

Oh! I remembered something specific. My tiger character used to have a 'generic lean-ripped' build. Kinda like the rabbit from Juuni Taisen. Then I posted a random beach day picture, and someone (who wasn't used to seeing characters with visible leg muscles... A lot of comics they read have characters who suffer from Skipped All The Leg Days syndrome) pointed out how insanely muscular his legs were. I ran with it. Today his legs are 2x bigger than they were in that beach day pic, and it's all muscle. Also while this character stays very lean throughout the story, I as the author guarantee you that if he were to put on fat, his thighs will be the first to expand, and the most. 8)

Tuyetnhi

omg

Cronaj

@keii4ii I'm so glad for this change. Lu's legs are majestic

Capitania do Azar

Interesting replies here

In o Sarilho https://www.sarilho.net/en/, I have avoided one major character death in the first part of the story because I grow super fond of them and also because it wasn't really going to build up to anything... Which felt really unfair. So now I had to come up with narrative lines for them and I'm quite enjoying that. Furthermore, I was halfway through chapter 3 when I figured out Eurico's looks but especially his role in the story. It involved drawing a lot of trucks (and there will be more trucks in the future) but I'm really excited for him as a character

Desnik

As I was writing my comic I was trying really hard to keep the POV limited to one character, but that character doesn't have enough perspective to set up the plot very well at the beginning. This meant hopping POVs to some other characters and now I'm gently trying to squash a lot of these subplots before they go completely out of control...

[rhiminee]

BIG OL’ LEO EP FEELINGS POST!

So. If you follow me on tumblr then you obviously know that David Archuleta released a new EP on Friday. I meant to make a post over the weekend but real life happens so here I am with all my feelings on Monday night! Honestly maybe it’s a good thing though because I’ve been listening to this EP so much the past 4 days and I honestly love it even more now. Like. How is that possible. Anywayyyyyyy let’s get to the good stuff! I’m including YT links below each song for ease of accessibility and ease of falling completely in love!

1. Other Things in Sight

Oh lo. This song. I never thought David would write a kiss off song but that’s totally what this is. He’s so calm about completely ripping someone. HA. I am crying with joy inside at how much I love love love this song and this side of David coming out in his writing. What’s so amazing is he’s totally telling off people who try to control him but he’s also got this jam that’s so freaking funky and singing like melted butter I don’t even understand. He’s so smooth in this that I didn’t even realize how much he was slaying until I wrote out the lyrics. Like. Boy you are the kindest sweetest savage I’ve ever seen in my life and I am full of admiration at your skills. Also the beat on this song is insane and delicious.  all you seem to say is get serious got me curious who it is that you think you’re talking to think you’ve got control like a hypnotist that’s ridiculous you gotta let go cuz this is not your life it’s not your call to make this time 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥  i just wanna little more breeze a little more ease a little less people i can’t please got other things in sight in mind give me a little more faith little more space little more room for my mistakes i’ve got other thing in sight, other things in sight in mind

I had to stop myself because honestly I’d just like to lyric quote the entire song lmao. I think this might be my favorite song on the EP. It’s so hard through because there’s not a single weak song in the bunch. This one is definitely my jam though. I cannot willnot ever get over the vibe. Amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIVfof_CRC0

2. Someone To Love

The first time I heard this song and he went into the oooooooooo section (you’ll know once you listen lol) I was like....what. It took me so off guard. I was off balance and I didn’t know what to think but the second time I listened I was ooo-oooing along and much to my surprise this is the song I’ve found myself singing unconsciously when I’m just living life. I think that lady in the produce section especially appreciated it on Saturday night.

feels like a deep breath  feels like a good rest when you come to find it’s not all about you i needed a jump start hooked up to this heart i needed to wake up and break out from this old point of view

LOVE. Why does David write the lyrics to my heart. Also the acoustic version of this song is straight fire. It made me fall in love with it even more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eY1YUFLG7ow

3. I’m Ready

Put on a pair of headphones and fall into this one. David has been performing this in concert since last year so before the EP came out I was like yeah we’ve heard it before, what are the other 3 songs. But then. Then. I heard this studio version of I’m Ready and it’s so transcendent. I can’t even explain, you just need to listen with your ears and heart open. That final bridge where he’s singing way highhhhhh up to the heavens omg the first time I heard that I got tears in my eyes. And then when Annie came on at the very end I had tears on my face. Before this was released I had no idea that she was such a huge part of this song and it gives me so many feelings to hear her there. When she sings stay next to me and I know what happened to her I’m just...man. It’s just very powerful. And a beautiful tribute to her. This one is 100% love.

i’m ready for change i’m not afraid to lose and leave it all behind and i know that i can’t see around the bend but if i let you in i know i’ll be alright

cuz when i get there who knows how it’ll end but i know i’ll get there

If you don’t know the story, condensed version: Annie is a good friend of David’s who felt strongly that he should not give up on I’m Ready. He was stalled on it and had it on the back burner for years. Annie gave him ideas and encouragement and worked with him on it and he finished it. Annie never got to hear the final product though because she fell and was killed while hiking in Oregon last year. She was alone and it took weeks of searching before she was found. David spoke with her family and asked if they were ok with him adding some vocals Annie had recorded while helping him work on the song. That’s what you hear at the end. That, and the sound of my tears falling. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZYsXo_gHmw

4. Spotlight Down

This is the most David song ever made. He’s so honest and forthright in singing his truth here. It’s like a song version of his journey from age 16 to 26. It makes me so happy that he had the courage to take his life back to where he could live it as David. I don’t know if that even makes sense but yeah. 

i was running hard and fast on someone else’s highway but that can’t last i was counting the days to singing solo songs that know my heart this is where i start i can’t live a life on display watching every move that i make this world’s not a stage it’s been remade  scenes were moving too fast waiting for the curtains to crash i’m standing now spotlight down.

This guy. He sings his soul, his vulnerabilities, his realities. I admire that courage so much. At times you hear a little shakiness in his voice and you can tell he feels everything when he sings it but then you also hear his strength and it’s one of the most pure beautiful things in this world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoKEUGrZjKs

Whew. You guys. This whole EP is amazing. If you haven’t listened yet, I can’t encourage you enough to check it out. It’s David’s heart and soul in musical form. Please support his amazing talent. Here’s the places you can get his music:

Buy Leo: iTunes Amazon Stream Leo: Spotify Apple Music

finis.

[greenofallshades]

I saved this for when I had the time because I liked the questions, and because it was sent by a friend, @rapid-apathy.  So I had a long rainy weekend and was able to do it.  I’ve been holding onto it forever.  You’re supposed to answer the questions you like, delete the ones you don’t, and add your own to make 100.  I didn’t bullet mine but this is close to 100 either way, I guess.

So here’s a little tell-all, if anyone wants to know.  I’m tagging some unsuspecting souls so you guys can shake your fists at me and say well, fuck, it’s Monday, so naturally.   (Seriously, no one feel obligated to do it..pretending you never got tagged is perfectly fine, lol). 

@simcoedefensesquad, @abewoodhullturncoat, @cupric-solution, @enouementonism, @thesnakeinthegarden, @zaggyswag,  @080939, @teagrounebulous, @dolfinsatdawn, @west-coast-happiness

The meaning behind my url:  greenofallshades, Green is my favorite color and adding the last part made it sound vaguely...interesting, or something.

A picture of me: will post one soon.

How many tattoos i have and what they are:  none

Last time i cried and why: During the TURN finale, lol, but does that count?  Before that, a fight with my husband.

Favorite band:  Impossible to pick one, just cannot.  Also I’m one of those people who when you ask me to pick my favorite something I freeze and can think of nothing.

Biggest turn offs:  Pretentiousness, number one by far.  Also people who drop hints instead of asking for something, game-playing instead of being direct, and braggarts.

Top 5 (insert subject): Top five cookies!  Girl Scout Thin Mint, soft baked chocolate chip, M&M cookies, Nutter Butters, and Oreos.  

Tattoos i want: *shrug* none

Biggest turn ons: strong arms, hairy chest

 Age: old lady by Tumblr kid standards, I guess

Ideas of a perfect date: Sitting in front of a fire in an empty tavern with a 6'3" ginger Queen's Ranger, drinking to the point that I'm not drunk but feel good, and he gets loose and starts telling me stuff no one else knows, then getting on his horse with him (me in front, being held securely by him) and riding out to a secluded cabin in the woods only he knows about, where we spend the night having wild sex and getting as loud as we want.

Life goal: Not to have any huge regrets on my deathbed when it comes to people in my life.

Piercings i want: none

Relationship status: married

Favorite movie: Can't pick one but I love Bram Stoker's Dracula, Pulp Fiction, Gladiator, Goodfellas, Thirty Days of Night.  Not into chick flicks very much.  Also a couple of old movies---Rebecca (a total mind fuck) and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, which I STRONGLY rec.  It's a middle-aged married couple who have company over and spend the night drinking and cursing and tearing each other apart with complete viciousness. 

 A fact about my life:  I'm boring but okay with it

Phobia:  Any and all bugs, especially flying ones.  I wish I could make all of them extinct, including butterflies.

.Height: 5'5"

Are you a virgin?   A what?  

What is your shoe size?  8

What’s your sexual orientation?  straight

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?   Wine sometimes....red.  Used to like white, can’t stand it now, and beer makes my throat close up

Someone you miss: My parents...they had me very late in life and they're gone now.

What’s one thing you regret?  Not being a better daughter

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:  Samuel Roukin, are you shocked?

Favorite ice cream?  french vanilla

One insecurity: Body image.  I had an eating disorder when I was a teenager and body issues will stay with me until I die.

What my last text message says:  From me---I might answer late because we’re doing late dinner.  To me---How does she afford it

Have you ever taken a picture naked? Taken one, no---taken one OF somebody, yes

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?  No

Have you ever slept naked?   Yes

Have you ever stole money from a friend?  No

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?  Yes

Have you ever been in a fist fight?  No

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?  Yeah, I think everybody has

Have you ever been arrested?  No

Have you ever made out with a stranger?  Yes 

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?  Yes

Have you ever been lonely?  Yes

Have you ever been to a club?  Clubbing and dancing, so much fun

 Have you ever felt an earthquake?  Yes, in Virginia it's a rare thing and I thought Jesus was coming back.

Have you ever touched a snake?  I've held snakes...they're adorable.

Have you ever ran a red light?  Yes, and it was stupid as hell because my husband witnessed a horrible accident when someone ran a red.  A man was ejected out of his car into the air came down, and hit the pavement, dead.  DON'T RUN RED LIGHTS

Have you ever been in a car accident?   Yes

 Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?  Pretty sure I have

Have you ever sang karaoke?  No and never will for the mercy of the world

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?   Oh yeah...for example today I told myself I wouldn't touch the box of Cheezits in the pantry.

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?  No, but I've laughed so hard I retched

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?   Yes

Have you ever dream that you married someone?   Yes and I woke up and it was true.

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?  No, but points for a question that made me shudder.

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?  *side eye glance*

Have you ever brushed your teeth?   *second side eye glance*  I hope to hell

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?  Yes....I cannot watch Thirty Days of Night alone, even it's daytime

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?  No, and it's a good thing, because you don't push a woman who has naturally curly hair into the water or your ass is going to have consequences.

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?  Yes

Have you ever broken a bone?  Just a toe

Have you ever been easily amused?  Lol, every damn day...wouldn't have it any other way.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?  Many times

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?  No

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?   Yes, embarrassing

Have you ever give us one thing about you that no one knows   I never have and I am not going to have creeps following this blog, lol.

What was your last dream?   I dreamed Samuel Roukin played a biker in black leather.  Are you seeing the trend here?

Would you be up for interplanetary travel if it was a thing?  Hard pass...I will stay safe on my couch with my fleece throw.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go?  Omg.  Again, can’t pick but I’m leaving this question up because it’s a good one.  

Do you prefer tech or real books for reading?   I like both, but prefer books

Do you dread doctor visits or do they not bother you?   They make me anxious

Favorite fashion decade of the twentieth century?  1940s

Are you wearing nail polish and if so, what color?   Manicure, Essie Watermelon; pedicure, OPI I Vant To Bite Your Neck

 Are you into working out or no?  I've always worked out, but I'm so burned out now

Do you have a temper?   Yes

Do you have one item you treat yosef with, and if so, what is it?   Josie Maran whipped argan oil

Do you eat meat?  Yes I am a happy carnivore

If yes, how do you like it cooked?  Well done and y'all can drag me for that all you want

Ever had a boss or a teacher you absolutely hated?  Oh yeah....a bitch boss who loved making lives miserable.  She snatched my engagement ring and hid it for a day so I would think I'd lost it, then gave it back at the end of the day and laughed. I was frantic.  I wish I could have a do-over with that bitch.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?  Coffee

Do you wear makeup?  Yes

If you wear perfume, what's your scent type/favorite fragrance?  I like fresh/clean scents...love Versace VersenseScented 

Do you have a girl crush?  Yes

Candles, wax melts, or incense?  Wax melts....I have a shameful amount of those bitches.  Walmart, $2, too cheap to pass up.

Favorite season of the year?  Fall, fall, fall, then winter

Fanfic---do you prefer smut or fluff?   Smut, but well-written fluff about the right character (GUESS WHO) is good too

Do you like taking selfies?  Why or why not?   I hate it.  Old body image issues, not photogenic, etc.

Do you want children?   We can't, but we'll be okay.

Do you prefer lots of friends or just a few good friends?  Just a few, not interested in crowds of pseudo-friends

Introvert or extrovert, or mixture of both?  Mixture...can and do initiate conversation with strangers but I'm an only child and I need solitude to be sane

Ocean/beach or mountains?  Ocean, if it's cold, cloudy, and the water is wild and gray.  Otherwise mountains.

Morning person or night person?  Morning...first cup of coffee makes me annoyingly wired.

Do you initiate conversations with strangers?  Yes

Milk or dark chocolate?  Dark

What do you post on your blog?   Mostly Simcoe stuff, other TURN material, with some Walking Dead, Vikings, and The Strain.  Occasionally fashion, quotes, etc.

Is it hard for you to apologize when you're in the wrong?   If I know I've done wrong or hurt someone I have no problem apologizing.  I wouldn't want it to be otherwise.  And if I ever piss off any of y’all, let me know.

Love at first sight?  No.  Like/compatibility that turns into love, yes.

Best/funniest Halloween memory?  A couple, I guess.  The first was a party when my hairstylist friend did my make up and I went as a gypsy.  It was perfect, the hair, the armloads of cheap bangles and the huge earrings, a white peasant shirt with a flowing multicolored skirt, etc. 

 The second is one I was only told about, and it happened years ago, but I laugh when I think about it.   My father-in-law(to be) was home alone and a flood of kids kept coming to the door.  He gave out all the candy, then started throwing in cans of Beanie Weenies, and when they were gone, he started handing out money.  Finally he said to hell with it, turned off the light, and went to bed.

Did your first crush work out or was it unrequited?  Unrequited

Do you like old movies---and by old, I mean OLD old?  Yes, I've even watched a couple of silent movies.  The main thing about old movies that bugs is me the ever-present music.

Do you tan or burn?  Burn---don't care about tanning/lying in the sun with the heat beating down on me.  I like myself pale, anyway.

Do you think people deserve second chances?  Generally yes.  Hard to say no considering how many times I've fucked up.  But child molesters, that kind of thing--hell no.

What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?   A T-Rex

Do you have any weird food likes/dislikes?  I hate cheese, esp. melted. (Ikr?) Also white creamy foods...cream soups, mayonnaise, etc

.What's the funniest real person's name you've ever heard?   Andrew Lincoln is really Andrew Clutterbuck

.

[fuckyeahwintershock]

Author Spotlight: MarvelLitChick

We’re back, and we’re bigger than ever!

Our first new spotlight is on an author who doesn’t have a Tumblr, but who does write awesome stories for criminally few kudos and comments. This week, we’re turning the spotlight on MarvelLitChick.

As @foreverdrunkatheart, who recommended her says:

The series Life is just one big marathon (http://archiveofourown.org/series/409054) might start off with a nat/steve fic, which is why I think her stories are lacking in kudos and comments, but you do not have to read the first story in the series and can skip right ahead to the wintershock, if that is what’s stopping you from reading this!!. (I did, then I fell in love with the work and went back to read that too) 

the series has 253,478 words (and counting!) and the characters are amazingly portrayed, the plots are great and packed with actions, angst, smut, fluff, you name it! 

The series portrays their relationship in a wonderful way and is also packed with friendship!moments and Awkward!Dad!Tony (though not in blood, just in support and love) And the story starts out with Nt and Steve eloping on a mission (if you read the first part, and I encourage you to!) and then takes on Wintershock from a datenight-gone-wrong

“You know, at risk of sounding like a typical chick in an action movie trope, my boyfriend is so not gonna be happy with you when he tracks us down,” Darcy ventured.

One of the goons chuckled. “Good thing there are so many of us, then.”

She laughed. “Oh, Lord, you think that’ll save you? Your ass is grass.”

“Shut up,” the leader said. “You are nothing more than bait.”

“Also an action movie trope,” Darcy added. “You guys have really got this covered, eh?”

The big one gave her a shove. “I said, ‘shut up’. You talk too much, woman.”

She laughed again. “Yeah, he tells me that all the time, so it’s really not news to me.” Just the other night, in fact, the moon from outside making their shadows dance on his far wall. She’d commented that the cybernetic arm was sort of sexy and he’d told her to shut up—very affectionately, of course. She’d quickly acquiesced.

And it’s peppered with small rememberings and flashbacks of their relationship as they are on the run from HYDRA goons, letting us into their relationship and domesticality.

I love it whenever she updates bc I know I’m gonna be in for a great read, long chapters, well written characters and grammar good enough to make an english teacher cry (unlike me)  It goes on to talk about their relationship, how it evolves, how other sees it, their platonic relationships with others, as Big Things Happen. Like HYDRA kidnappings and amnesia breakthroughs and engagements. 

NOW  the reason why I wanna get out there how amazing this story is, s because her 111k story in the series has 12 chapters and just 200 kudos, which is a crime against good fanfics. If I have gotten more kudos on my stupid, silly drabbles then there is something wrong wth the universe!! This is one of the best Wintershock series I have read and it is criminally under-appreciated. 

As you can tell, she feels pretty strongly about this!

We asked MarvelLitChick a few questions and here’s what she had to say:

01. What about Wintershock as a pairing appeals to you?

I think it’s just the idea that they would be perfect for each other--if they ever actually met. Bucky is full of charm and snark. Darcy is full of charm and snark. They both act very careless but turn out to be the most loyal of the bunch. And that’s not to mention the fact that neither of them has really had the screentime or backstory opportunities needed to truly fill out a character. Bucky takes care of Steve, Darcy takes care of Jane. But what drives them both--really? And Bucky’s so damaged now, and we’ve seen Darcy as this warm caretaker type. So if they met, just imagine the snarky sparks, right?

02. How did you first encounter the pairing?

Hm. I must’ve been reading on FanFiction.net. Don’t ask me which story, I truly do not remember. My initial favorite pairing was Darcy with Loki, because again, they both act like they’re wearing armor, and you just know it’s soft and vulnerable underneath. Loki needs Darcy to lift him up a bit and maybe Darcy needs Loki to give her some levelling out and some perspective. Must’ve stumbled across her and Bucky by accident, loved them all, but thought…’Gosh, I want something with an established relationship--I know! I’ll write it myself!’

03. Do you have any specific Wintershock headcanons? Are there any particular fic tropes you like concerning the pairing?

Favorite tropes? Hm. It’s got to be the old bit where they’re maybe, playing with Nerf guns or something and everyone gets caught in the crossfire, you know? Haven’t done anything like that yet. Totally should. Headcanons? Another hm...in my head, they just do a lot of reading together. Bucky, after all that HYDRA crap, just likes peace and quiet, you know? And he wants to catch up, and he and Steve read some Lord of the Rings during the War, swapping paperbacks. And so he likes fantasy and he latches onto Harry Potter. But Darcy wants to join, because--it’s Harry Potter and she wants to re-read them. So he starts reading it out loud and they read the whole thing like that, like, every night, before they turn the light out. Or...every Friday is movie night. He’s got to catch up on that stuff too. And at first, it’s just the two of them, like a date. Then Tony shows up, maybe he’s up late in the shop and hears them laughing from out in the hall and just comes in. Then he just shows up after that on his own, with pizza or popcorn. And he mentions it to Clint. Then Natasha comes over and drags Steve along. And then Jane and Thor because Thor really, really wants to watch huge alien robots beating each other up. And it sort of becomes this giant pillow party. But Darce and Buck don’t mind--as long as everyone’s out by two so they can go to bed. ;)

04. Do you associate any particular songs with Wintershock? If so, which one?

In my head, they dance to “It’s Been A Long, Long Time” by Kitty Kallen a lot. I heard that in Winter Soldier and just HAD to use it. And it’s period appropriate! “Beautiful Disaster” by Kelly Clarkson is totally Bucky. “Wings” by Birdie is just so perfectly melancholy and wistful. The biggest one is “Stand By You” by Rachel Platten. First time I heard that I was driving home from work and my jaw just dropped open, it’s just ridiculously perfect for them. The car behind me at the light honked and then I realized it’d gone green. :)

05. What Wintershock fic by someone else would you recommend to others to read? What about this fic appeals to you?

Oh, gosh. That’s tough. Probably Learning to Breathe by MarvelousKatie. Great character development going on and such a juicy slow burn. I really hope she finishes that puppy. I haven’t seen updates in a while. Maybe my app is just messed up or maybe she’s only on AO3 now, I should check. But that thing is AWESOME.

06. What kind of Wintershock story would you love to read that hasn’t been written yet by you or others?

The one where Bucky meets her family--and it’s super awkward. I’m calling dibs on it though. Lol ;)

07. Out of the Wintershock stories you’ve written, which is your favourite, and why?

I could be really goofy and say the one I’m writing now. But I really can’t say that yet--it’s nowhere near finished. Probably Steeplechase. I was worried that my character development was just falling apart, but it ended up being one of those perfect little arcs that just naturally round off by the time you’ve reached the end, you know? Bucky thinks he’s weighing her down. Darcy doesn’t think she deserves any sort of happy domestic bliss. But in the end, they both are like, “...Whatever. I love you. Who cares?” And Tony’s found his stride as Father Figure. I like to call him ‘Daddy Tony’.

08. Quote a favourite extract from one of your stories. What is it that you like about it?

Well, if i quoted the whole thing, it would take up an entire page. But I just posted a scene--it’s a flashback--where Bucky corners Darcy in the lab to officially ask her out--you know, on a REAL DATE. And it’s cute and snarky. And Jane shows up and it’s the ‘hiding in the closet’ trope. And you know, Darcy is acting weird and high-strung as she tries to keep Jane from finding Bucky hiding behind the machine parts shelf. And the whole time she’s going on about being worried about Darcy and how Bucky isn’t safe and blah blah blah. And right as she’s about to notice him, Thor comes in, ready to save the day, totally clueless and all, perfect timing, and sweeps his scientist off the dinner. And just as he’s leaving to catch up to her, he’s all ‘Night, Darcy. James.’ And suddenly Thor knew all along, and he’s being all sneaky. Sometimes you just gotta go with the tropes, right? After all, they’re unoriginal because they’re easy to adapt and have fun with. They keep getting redone for a reason, right?

Thank you so much for this, you guys! It was seriously fun to fangirl out for a few minutes. And it’s just so cool that people are even reading my drabbles, I was sure no one really was. Whoever put my name forward, you are AWESOME. Here’s hoping Bucky gets more character development going forward (they’re taking their sweet time making him the Cap, right?) and that Darcy comes back for more fun.

Thanks to MarvelLitChick for answering these questions, and we hope this has given you an appetite to read her stories!

If you’d like to suggest an author for the spotlight, you can submit to us or to @latessitrice.

[azjumper]

Do the odds for the questions :)

hooooo boy alrighty then lmao

1) if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

They’d definitely have to watch John Mulaney’s standup because I reference that A Lot. Listen to the Revenant or the Last of Us soundtrack. And while they’re at it, just watch the Revenant anyway.

3) list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

fuck idk I wouldn’t really consider myself a fandom-type person?? So im gonna go with no fandoms.

5) do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

Definitely a human being. I don’t particularly see myself defined by the things I do. I am not religious but I think we are all tied together in some form or another. I see my existence as a weird paradox of obsoletism, where we are just floating specks in this universe, but at the same time we are so important to one another and we can make a huge difference with what we do. It’s beautiful and confusing, but here we are, still in it, whatever it is.

7) do you care about your ethnicity?

Nope. I know it has helped me in my life in ways that I haven’t particularly noticed, which I am thankful for, but otherwise no, I don’t really care.

9) are you an artist?

I wouldn’t consider myself one. I like drawing and singing and playing music, but I don’t see them as a huge part of who I am.

11) do you have a creed?

Yeah a few!

semper ad meliora. This means “Always for the better.”

Determination, not Motivation. Motivation is fleeting, and will fail you, but if you wanna reach the goals you set for yourself, you need to have the Determination to push through the lack of Motivation.

Nature is not a commodity, it is a companion. This is a John Muir quote that I strongly agree with, and serves as the basis for many of my actions in my life.

13) inside or outdoors?

OUTDOORS OUTDOORS OUTDOORS!!! 100000%. My heart is in nature. It’s the reason I am majoring in EnviSci. I love nature and the outdoors more than most things in this world. I find peace and happiness in the outdoors, no matter where.

15) five most influential books over your lifetime.

These is My Words, Nancy Turner. The Road, Cormac McCarthy. My APES textbook lol. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Betty Smith. ahhh i cant think of another. I’m sure there is, but I can’t think of any rn

17) would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Yeah I would say so. Its kinda a mixture of love for nature, self-deprication, and rambling. Me in a nutshell!

19) which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

I dont fuckin know i didn’t read the books 

21) do you love easily?

lmao Nope. I get along well with and enjoy many people, but i absolutely do not love easily. It takes me a realllly long time to open up to people intimately, and besides that, I generally just don’t trust people. It sucks and I wish that I could just open up to people and not hold myself back in relationships, because I feel that I could enjoy myself and my SO way more if i wasn’t so fuckin weird and questioning everything.

23) how often would you want to see your family every year?

I have a pretty good relationship with my family, but I will say they get on my nerves sometimes. Ideally, once or twice a month, like a day or two. 

25) could you live as a hermit?

Absolutely! Back to my love of nature. I could spend eternity in the outdoors, and i’m an introvert, so living a hermit life would be nooo problemoooo!

27) do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Yup! I tend to be quiet and reserved, but open up well to my friends. At the same time I’m outdoorsy, practical, and focused. Thinking about what I wear and how I present myself, yeah, I’d say its a fair representation.

29) three songs that you connect with right now.

Go Fuck Yourself by Two Feet

Cocoa Butter Kisses by The Stairwells

Putting the Dog to Sleep by The Antlers

[kaysindyyboo-blog1]

Love Or Something Like That…

Something God needs to teach me, is how to love people. I thought I knew how to, but I’m not so sure anymore.

I’ve noticed that so far this year I’ve gotten really close to quite a few people. Some new. Some old.

Some I used to be close with in the past.

Some I only knew from a distance.

Some I didn’t know of before.

I’ve noticed that, in many different ways, they’ve been showing me love.

And I don’t mean ‘love’ in the romantic sense.

I just mean love — love.

They show that they care about me.

They’re always reaching out to me.

Especially in moments that I try to distance myself from them.

They’re always doing the things that I sometimes feel uncomfortable to do for others.

The things that I usually think people would think I’m weird or annoying for doing.

But the very things that I want people to do for me.

I always hear “do unto others as you would want them do for you”

So, I guess yeah, in the same way they’re loving me, I should love them, right?

NOW I’M IN A PREDICAMENT...

These people have sort of pressed their foot onto the brakes when it comes to loving me.

They’re not loving hard on me as they usually do.

I strongly feel its because they’ve gotten tired.

Tired of me and my mixed emotions.

I saw a tweet earlier today that said “A person that always understands, also gets tired…”

I retweeted AND quoted this with such confidence that I’m that ‘understanding person.’

But now I kinda feel like I’m the person on the other end.

The person who always feels like everyone should understand where I’m coming from.

“I got confidence issues so you gotta understand😏”

The person who always has an answer to why I do or say ‘this’ and ‘that’

I say ‘answer’ but I think I mean ‘excuse’.

An answer is a solution to a problem.

So there is no way my “I got confidence issues so you gotta understand” is a solution to the problem of me taking advantage of people’s love.

It’s actually adding another problem to the problem we already have.

Its an excuse — which is a reason or explanation given to justify a fault or offence.

I unconsciously justify myself to take advantage of people’s love.

*hides*

Is it bad that the only reason I’m noticing that I’m not all that good at loving people, is because they aren’t loving me as much anymore?

They only press their foot on the accelerator once I show a little bit of love.

I don’t feel like it should be this way.

Love should be pouring out of me in and out of season.

I should not wait for people to get tired of loving me, for me to then decide to love them.

That makes me selfish.

Its like I’m only loving them so they can love me.

Then once they start to love me, I withdraw yet again.

*hides* 

But could my reasons as to why I do this, simply be because I don’t know how to love?

Or is it because over the years I’ve constantly told myself that I’m in need of real love?

Therefore as soon as I get in touch with this love, I forget that love is a two-sided thing.

I forget that these people also want and need to be loved back.

And I’m not the only one who is worthy of love.

...REFLECTION TIME

I’ve noticed some things about myself.

As soon as people start showing me love, I run away and hide.I hide behind the lousy excuse of “I just cba talking.”

I hide cos I’m not used to people coming to me with the conviction in their minds that “Karen is worthy of love, let me show her love”

I’m not used to people seeing a friend in me;

Someone they can talk to;

Someone they feel comfortable to share how they’re feeling;

Someone they think of when they see something funny on Insta lol. (Well I guess with this one I was a little familiar with it, but I didn’t want that to be the only reason someone thinks to spread love in my direction.)

I’m not used to people coming to me just to share something they are thinking of.

Something which may not even be mega-extraordinary.

But just the fact that they’re thinking of me whilst they’re thinking of something else.

Now I realised this is something I’ve been doing for the longest time ever.

I’m not used to people actually seeing a real person in me.

I know that sounds really weird to say.

But sometimes when you lock yourself up in your own little bubble for a very long time, you get so used to it just being ‘me, myself & I.’

You forget that you’re actually as human as every other human out there.

You forget that there is a world out there and you are very much a part of it.

But, no matter how much you try to hide.

You add to the human population.

If you did not exist, the world would not be complete.

It would be short of your contribution.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

So when I think that these people actually want the same from me, it kinda puts pressure on me.

“Can I really give them the love that they deserve or expect from me?”

…and so after telling myself that I’m inadequate and incapable of doing this, I take that as my cue to go in hiding.

For some reason I think that if I love hard, people will run away from me, so I make sure I’m the first one to run, so it saves me the heartbreak.

‘Cos I know that if I don’t do this, I’m the one who’s gonna go home and cry myself to sleep.

So I leave them with no chance to run away — I’m already miles ahead.

(this is literally me😂)

Other times I just doubt myself.😏

I think I’m incapable of loving the ‘right way’ so there is no point of me bothering.

Again this is an unconscious thing.

No one has ever taught me how to love, so how can I possibly give something I don’t have?

So that is why I say God Himself, the Creator of Love, the Definer and Definition of Love has to be the One to teach me.