#I actually only use it for toontown

[syringeon]

guess who is writing one of the like,, only fics in the syringeon tag on ao3

OMG YAY! I actually dont use ao3 much so i didnt even know there were banban fics... i will look now !!!!

[doodle-ate-my-homework]

lots of things goin on here. i made a new ref for doodle + some outfits

[frostbite-the-bat]

remembering old fandoms and rps and aus i had and im realizing this isnt the first time an au version of frostbite interacted a lot with someone who at least in text had a quirk that does something to the letter s which is ironic considering their name

[theglizzardwizard]

Doing CLOs makes me want to kill a man (but so does a lot of shit)

[schmergo]

My mom gave me this chocolate London kit for Christmas and I finally decided to use it as sort of a tongue-in-cheek Fourth of July activity. I love my mom and I don’t think she meant to psychologically torture me, but this experience lowkey led me down a true long dark night of the soul and then utterly broke me. Follow my slow mental unraveling below.

I should add that I am bad at crafts and once got gorilla glue all over my hands while fixing a child’s display-only gingerbread house and spent Christmas break with a hard translucent shell on both hands gradually flaking off over the course of a week, so a fair amount of this may be user error. But also the box says this is for ages 6+ and I’m over 5 times that, so maybe they could have done a wee bit more handholding.

Anyway, here’s my journey, which should absolutely be read in the tone of Jonathan Harker’s letters in the beginning of Dracula.

The first hint that something was wrong happened when I melted the chocolate according to instructions and the next step said to pour it into the molds. The chocolate was not really the “pouring” kind. It was a chunky sort of paste that I had to spoon in. The molds filled unevenly and clumpily and at this point, I asked my husband if he’d let me try to assemble the rest of this on my own because I think I can tolerate my failure better if nobody else witnesses it.

The instructions also cavalierly said to save a “handful” to use as mortar for the chocolate tower.

How much is a handful? A Schmergo-sized hand or a husband-sized hand or what? I have very small hands for an adult, but this is for ages 6+ after all. I opted for a Schmergo-sized handful. I would live to regret that.

I chilled the pieces in the fridge for 20 minutes as directed, then popped them out of their mold. To my surprise, they actually didn’t look THAT bad.

Looking at the pieces of Big Ben that I had to assemble, I became acutely aware that there weren’t detailed instructions on how to fit them together other than just “put them together” and no actual photographs of a real person doing it. The wall pieces were still unnervingly floppy and I decided to freeze them in hopes of hardening them while I focused on the clock itself.

In addition to Big Ben, the kit came with a chocolate taxi and a chocolate double-decker bus. The taxi popped out slightly distorted but in a way I liked, with playful Toontown vibes. But the double-decker bus was still mushy and fudgelike, warping and rippling alarmingly as I tried to push it out of the mold. I opted to put it in the freezer, too, along with the walls of Big Ben.

The instructions said to use the melted remaining chocolate to stick the pieces together and to apply it by sticking my finger in it and rubbing it on. It did not mention that, even after letting the chocolate cool, the warm melted chocolate would make the details of the pieces of the chocolate you’re sticking together start to melt, too.

I began to wonder if this kit had ever been formally tested by anyone and if the instructions were written by AI, like that Google search result that suggests adding Elmer’s glue to your shredded cheese when making pizza to keep it from sliding off.

Nothing can prepare you for how bad the clock part looked, so I’m just going to let you deal with it cold turkey. Et voila.

As I cemented my terrible melted clock together, it occurred to me that I’d have a lot more fun if I really leaned into the ominous post-apocalyptic energy of the abomination before me.

What if this was the result of some kind of whimsical Doctor Who villain— or maybe The Unknown from that infamously bad immersive Willy Wonka experience— transforming major London landmarks into chocolate… during a heat wave?

How will will the new Prime Minister Keir Starmer deal with this on his first day in office?

I yelled to my husband in the adjacent room, “Maybe I’m just turning into the Joker, but this is starting to feel more funny than depressing!”

“Mr. Starmer, a second chocolate vehicle has hit Big Ben.”

The bus actually came out pretty well!

Trying to fit together the pieces of the walls would have been maddening if I hadn’t already been driven mad by the clock portion. The pieces didn’t actually fit together quite right, they were still slightly floppy, and the instructions said— after I was in blood stepped so far that should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o’er— that I was supposed to use ELASTIC BANDS to hold together the tower walls while the chocolate was cooling.

The kit didn’t come with elastic bands and I don’t have any in my house except for scrunchies with my gross hair stuck to them, and I’d already come this far, so I decided to forge onward. Then a piece snapped off.

Honestly, this rules, no notes:

I did it, but at what cost? I don’t know much about British politics, but this feels like a poignant commentary on the current state of affairs or something. Should I submit this to the Tate Modern?

[crocswithoutsocks]

What do cogs eat in Toontown: Corporate Clash?

I'm doing research for a fic and have been scrounging the wiki for this information so I thought I'd compile my findings as a nice organised tumblr post in case anyone else needs access to this very specific part of the lore. There's actually a lot more than I thought there would be! If I've missed anything, feel free to add! The definitive list will be way at the bottom of the post if you just want the cold hard facts.

Section A - Foodstuffs that have a lot of evidence pointing towards their consumption by cogs.

Oil - Massive evidence for this in both Derrick Man and the CEO battle. Heals suits in Derrek Man, and seems to be their preferred food given its literally the only thing being served at the banquet? Maybe more of a beverage than a food? Still makes the list either way. Different varieties of oil are also mentioned, including carbonated/seltzer oil (from the Director's Cuts ARG andHigh Roller's trivia questions) and crude oil (discussed further below).

Cogfee (Coffee) - Cogfee is mentioned all the time. There's promotional art of Chip promoting cogfee, and his secretary also requests a new cogfee machine in the April Toons ARG. Cathal and Brian have also both delivered/refused to deliver cogfee to Allan, respectively. The Toxic Manager also gives the Insider a cup of Cogfee in the Director's cuts ARG, and there's probably even more examples of cogs drinking cogfee that I haven't included here. It's also worth a mention that Jennifer's favourite drink is a soyl mechiatto, which I would have assumed to be the cog equivalent of a machiatto with soya milk, but the fact that High Roller's trivia question on the subject makes a distinction between soyl mechiatto and cogfee mechiatto makes me doubt that the soyl one contains cogfee at all. Alas, I don't know enough about actual coffee to be able to tell you if you can even make a machiatto without coffee.

Cookies - Most of the evidence for this comes either directly or indirectly from Belle. Evidence for suits eating cookies comes from Belle's interview notes, the 1.3 blog post, the comic with Flint and Belle baking, and the C.O.O's 2023 dialogue. These also provide other things suits can eat in the form of cookie flavours: charcoal, ginger tar and crude morsels. I don't know if ginger tar is ginger flavoured tar or a variety of tar called "ginger tar", so that's up for interpretation. As far as I can tell, all three seem to function as a chocolate chip substitute, but could also possibly be replacing things like fruit or nuts in the cookies. The only non-Belle-related cookie evidence comes from the Director's Cuts ARG, where the Middleman gives the Insider a plate of crude oil cookies. I assume the crude oil used in these is a different thing than the crude morsels in the C.O.O's cookies, and I can't really identify what crude oil is supposed to be a subsitute for food-wise since it appears multiple times in different contexts.

Sandwiches and assorted ingredients - Cathal eats a sandwitch halfway through his battle, and you can't really get evidence more definitive than that. The wiki says it's specifically ham and cheese, and looking at his renders I can see that probably. In the 1.3 key art, he's got a different sandwich that looks like lettuce and tomato, so from Cathal alone, bread, ham, cheese, lettuce and tomato can be added to the list of things suits eat.

Ketchup - This is really a subsection of the last category given tomatoes have already been confirmed, but Count Erclaim steals 'Chup from Rocky on multiple occasions (notably the 'Halloween Hater comic') and Cathal also has two bottles of it in his office. There are also a concerningly high number of ketchup bottles inthe Mozzerella Styx freezer. So... Ketchup. Interestingly enough, the ad for Mozzerella Styx on High Roller's website lists 'Chup as a drink, so maybe its a suit beverage? Sure, why not.

Water - The existence of the water cooler attack implies that cogs can and do drink water, and it's also listed as an available drink three times on Mozzerella Styx's menu, as 'water', 'dihydrogen monoxide' and 'corporate water supply'. They also drink sparkling water/seltzer/carbonated water, whatever you want to call it, since Jennifer asks where she's supposed to keep her sparkling water after Spruce takes a bite out of her desk, and seltzer is one of the available options in the Mozzerella Styx drinks machine.

Cereal - Dave buys 500 boxes of cereal in the April Toons ARG. The picture identifies the cereal as 'Oil-o-Flakes', but the description says they're 'corn flakes', soooo... corn confirmed? Maybe?

Pizza - You'd think this one would be easy, given the fact that literally the only cog owned restaurant is a pizzeria, but the fact that Mozzerella Styx is a front kind of raises the question of whether they actually serve food there. Either way though, Count Erclaim orders a "none pizza with left beef" in one of his monologues, and even if his pizza is a meme it's still a pizza, and Erclaim is still a cog that's probably going to eat it. Oh. Also beef then, I guess.

The sustenance page on the gopher version of cogs.ink gets a special mention because I forgot about it completely and then felt like I'd struck gold when I stumbled back upon it. Things mentioned on this page that aren't already on the list include:

Coal, petrol-marinated beet and diamond dust inside a sandwich called the 'Money Christo'.

Sides include crispy steel bits, extra crude oil and gas-infused triple-fried coal.

Coal again, Turpentine Ansoff Jelly and Oxalic Acid patties, all of which are considered breakfast (or, deskfast, as the page says) foods.

Carbon carbonara, made with only the finest eggs and crude oil (but what ingredient can be used in cookies and also in carbonara?).

Canned bread (WHY IS IT IN A CAN?) and kerosene dip.

Compressed fish

Strawberry Daigou, which is a dessert according to the description, and also contains the allergen 'red'. I didn't know suits could be allergic to anything until now.

SODIMM SOda

Section B - Things that I'm not certain on but I thought were still worth a mention.

Pie - Allan asks if the pies the toons are throwing at him "are imported blueberry", which implies that he's eaten both imported and non-imported blueberry pies before, to be able to tell the difference. Either that or he's been hit in the face so many times with both that he's now able to tell the difference, and he doesn't actually eat them. He can tell its blueberry though, which does suggest he's had those before and knows what they taste like. Given strawberries are already confirmed, its probably safe to say that cogs eat blueberries too.

Wood - Spruce, basically. He takes a bite out of Jennifer's table during his interview, says he's got at chomping trees in his personal statement and he's always got that log in his mouth. It's never really stated whether he actually eats the trees or just bites them, though. Also, eating trees feels very much like a Spruce thing, and not something any other suits would do. Like, they probably can eat wood, but would they want to?

Coins - Its mentioned in the cog building music backstage blog post that Dave ate 20,000 Cogbucks worth of quaters in the Cashbot mints. I'm confident this is a Dave exclusive thing and that no other cog would ever do this. I think.

Section C - Things that depend entirely on the validity of Mozzerella Styx as an actual cog restaurant.

Mozzerella Styx seems like it would be a veritable gold mine of information on cog food, but that actually depends on who Mozzerella Styx's target audience actually is. Mozzerella Styx's target audience is important because if they're trying to appear as a reputable toon resturaunt, then there's no gaurentee that cogs would even eat the things on their menu, as they would be toon foods rather than cog foods. The menu is weird though, since it definetly includes things that toons would never eat, like oil, which implies either that suits are intended to eat there or that whoever wrote the menu didn't know that toons can't drink oil. The menu does seem to be geared towards toons in some way, though, given the two 'toon drink here' options in the drinks section. Who are your target market, Mozzerella Styx??? And that's not even getting into if they even sell food there. The short with the two toons ordering a pizza implies that you can definetly order there, but the outcome of that short (the toons never getting any pizza) combined with the menu says 'pay upfront', 'product not gaurenteed' and 'no refunds' makes me incredibly doubtful that anyone has ever managed to successfully eat food from Mozzerella Styx (the fact that the toons are going here also suggests its a "toon" resturaunt. Or maybe they're just chill with going to a cog owned resturaunt? They definetly at least heard Styx over the phone). HOWEVER! The fact that the 1.4.0 patch notes say they're generating more money through pizza sales, combined with the (presumably paid for) ad on High Roller's website and the fact that they have actual pizza ingredients in the freezer makes me think that maybe they are actually running a resturaunt with real food on the side of all the money laundering? Perhaps? Either way, this big long ramble has acheived nothing, and I've got no idea if these foodstuffs are any more valid than I did at the start of it. Well then. If we're assuming that cogs do eat at Mozzerella Styx, for the sake of having more data, then everything on the menu can be added to the list. This includes:

Pineapple - The head huntin' hawaiian pizza, despite the pizza pictured under it not containing any pineapple, does make another appearance on a poster where pineapple is visible. There's no sauce, though. Why is there no sauce on this pizza. (Also, I'm going to remove pineapple from the 'Mozzerella Styx Clause', since Jennifer says in Buck's interview notes that he smells like pineapple, meaning she's eaten or at least smelled it before. Therefore, it's probably a valid suit food).

Nuts and bolts - The same poster with the hawaiian pizza also suggests you add [photo of nuts and bolts]. They aren't mentioned by name, but they sure are there!

New Year Cabbage

Salad - No idea what this salad contains, so I suppose every vegetable and other thing that could possibly be in a salad is up for debate. If you wanted to make it out of already confirmed salad stuff, it would probably be lettuce, tomato and beetroot.

Mushrooms - The picture of the aledgedly hawaiian pizza appears to have mushrooms on it, and mushroom pizza is also an option.

Broccoli - The alleged hawaiian pizza also has what I think is broccolli on it, and I really like broccoli so I'm adding it to the list.

Bread-sticks

Junior Executive Juice - I hope this is juice made for junior executives and not juice made out of junior executives

Ice cream cone - Not specified whether this is an ice cream cone as in 'its ice cream in a cone' or 'it's an ice cream cone with no ice cream'. I'll assume there's ice cream involved because it seems cruel to deprive these robots of ice cream.

Waffle cone

Traffic cone - I mean... it's on the menu?

Onions

Pine - Pine needles? Pine trees? Pineapples? We will never know

Jellybeans - I find it funny that these guys are just casually eating the toons' money. Maybe there's a difference between currency jellybeans and jellybeans for eating, but its still funny.

Soda Cold-a - The drink machine by the front counter actually provides a lot of new drinks that I'm specifically exempting from the 'Mozzerella Styx Clause' due to the fact that a) Toons definetly cannot drink half of this stuff and b) this drink machine for sure exists and probably does dispense all of these things. Available beverages not yet counted include antifreeze, diet oil, coolant, Cold-a and gas (which completes the C.O.G.S trifecta! Horray, suits can officially eat everything that C.O.G.S inc produces!)

Slushies - The slushie machine behind the counter appears to dispense slushy in flavours DRINK, Zap and BLUE. There are no cups present near this machine, only cones, which implies it could be a snow cone machine, but the ad on High Roller's website shows a cup with a straw labelled 'BLUE', so either they're drinking snow cone syrup or its a slushie machine.

Snow cones

Salt and pepper - There are salt and pepper shakers on all of the tables. Horray for seasonings! Why you would put those on a pizza I have no idea.

The List

Okay, I've probably missed something but here's my definitive list, colour coded, alphabetized and sorted for your convenience. Items in black are pretty much 100% confirmed, items in blue are speculative with not much evidence and items in green depend entirely on Mozzerella Styx's validity as a cog resturant.

Human safe foods:

Beef, Beetroot, Blueberries, Bread, Bread-sticks, Broccoli, Cabbage, Carbonara, Cereal, Cheese, Cookies, Corn, Eggs, Fish, Ginger(?), Ham, Ice cream, Jellybeans, Lettuce, Mushrooms, Onions, Pepper (the seasoning not the vegetable), Pie, Pineapple, Pizza, Salad, Salt, Sandwiches, Snow cones, Strawberries, Tomatoes (and derivitives ketchup and tomato sauce), Waffle cones.

Things humans should definetly not be eating:

Charcoal, Coal, Coins, Crispy steel bits, Crude morsels, Crude Oil, Diamond dust, Extra Crude Oil, Gas-infused triple-fried coal, Ginger tar, Kerosene, Nuts and bolts, Oxalic Acid Patties, Petrol, Pine, Traffic cones, Turpentine Ansoff Jelly, Wood.

Beverages:

Antifreeze, Carbonated oil, Cogfee, Cold-a, Coolant, Diet Oil, Gas, Juice, Ketchup(?), Oil, Slushies, SODIMM SOda, Soyl, Sparkling water/Seltzer, Water.

Unidentified:

red

All of these things can probably be broken down into their core ingredients, too, which would really expand the variety of foodstuffs on offer. Basically, cog food seems to be pretty similar to human food, just with a lot more metal and machine-stuff.

[flintmgr]

I'm selling stickers! More info on the actual page (link below)!!!

I only ship to North America as of now- but I plan on branching out once I'm used to this more.

[plantify]

Toontown Corporate Clash: Grunt Cogs

Intro

This is an except from the Clash Crew's latest QNA session. This doesn't outright state too much about Grunt Cogs, but I do not like the implications of them not having "fully developed personality chips". This could be taken in many ways which I think would only serve to weaken Clash's writing, as well as cause minor to major contradictions to things already shown in-game. Corporate Clash is pretty defined by giving Cogs more of a personality. They already had some semblance of this in TTO, but they are closer to humans in Clash. Every single Suit has their own complex personality and life story. Sure, it may be infeasible to actually show this for Grunt Cogs in normal gameplay, but it's important. Even if Cogs Inc is objectively in the wrong, you still have to think about all the lives of Suits who work for the company. If the Grunt Cogs are "less human" than more important Manager Cogs, then a lot of that element is stripped away. I will quickly analyze some specific in-game examples of this.

Rainmaker:

Misty explains that she has been hurt by her own kind in ways that Toons would not understand. We can infer that her personality traits make her a poor fit among colleagues, which leads to poor treatment towards her as a result. This is something that often happens in real life, so we don't need the perpetrators to be robots that only act mean because it's all their programming tells them to do. Real people already act this way. Assuming that Grunt Cogs are the main perpetrators against Misty, this situation would lose some nuance under the implications that they aren't as human as Managers. Why would Misty care about what someone tells her if they aren't on the same level of sentience she is? It would be akin to having AI Chatbots insulting you; there isn't any actual person telling you how much they hate you, so it loses all meaning.

Witch Hunter:

Prester's fight revolves around him using his voice and words to empower Grunt Cogs to fight for a common cause. Sure, this may just be yet another battle against Toons, but he wants to go greater than just that, talking of Cog Communities, using fear tactics, and more. If we are under the assumption that the minds of Suits are just as complex as those of humans, than this notion becomes really cool; he's convincing others to fight for him, and all these Cogs that join him must have their own personal reasons for listening to Prester. It makes Prester himself also seem like he's great at uniting others for a common cause. HOWEVER, under the assumption that Grunt Cogs just have really basic personality traits, and not much going on in their mind aside from what they were programmed for, there is no variation whatsoever in the reasoning for listening to him. It becomes a lot more like just telling a bunch of programs to do something, and they all obey, with no nuance whatsoever. There are also two Cogs during his ending cutscene which resist his words, explaining that many employees have complained about Prester. These two are already showing individuality just by doing this, as well as explaining that other Suits genuinely do not like Prester in the workforce. If they were all practically the same, these two should not be able to resist his words, and there also likely wouldn't be as many complaints regarding Prester.

Major Player:

Dave's fight already shows some variation between Grunt Cogs. Some of them are eager to get on stage and perform with Dave, whilst others are more timid, confused, or unbothered by being called onto the stage. This could be seen as a minor retcon under the assumption of Grunt Cogs having less personality. Adding onto this, why would he perform to a group of Suits that are less likely to feel heartfelt emotion or interest in what he's doing? At that rate, he should simply just perform to Manager Cogs and whatnot.

Chainsaw Consultant:

While the focus of Chip's fight is the override itself, bringing in the fact that Grunt Cogs have less developed personality chips brings in interesting implications. Why does Chip even have the override installed? It is a experimental, untested feature, and they're testing it on Chip. Yknow, one of the guys with a fully developed personality. Someone who's much more likely to suffer from having it installed. Someone who's much more likely to try and resist it BECAUSE he has a life of his own, and is his own person. If the company has countless non-important workers with no personality, why wouldn't you just test the override on one of them? If they don't really have a life of their own, or are otherwise devoid of a real personality, wouldn't it make more sense for the override to work more flawlessly on the Grunts? Of course this wouldn't be an issue under the assumption that Grunt Cogs are just as well-developed as Manager Cogs. They would face the same issues that Chip does under the effects of the override. Also, unrelated to the override, but this also makes the fact that Chip uses the Grunt Cogs as weapons hit less hard. He shoots them out of cannons at the Toons, against their will. He fires them en-masse to use as cannon fodder. Obviously, under the context that they don't matter nearly as much, this makes it harder to care about them and weakens that aspect of the narrative.

Conclusion

This was a quick look at some of the in-game examples of things that could be put into question under the assumption that Grunt Cogs aren't as fully developed as other Suits. There are absolutely more examples in-game, as well as more narrative factors that could be discussed and delved into concerning this topic.

[chiprewington]

hold up, i gotta know now. perry sneaked chip into a playground? :eye:

SOMEONE TOOK MY BAIT HAHAHAHA

But yes! This was prior to them being a relationship, but in the middle of them having... something akin to a friendship. Chip, being himself, is always gonna be reluctant with the idea of having a new "friend". Especially considering Perry's a toon, but in this specific instance he's already come around to respecting em. Starting to keep em more in his office and out of eir disguise instead of sending em off to do menial labor around the building.

It all started in the middle of some conversation, expert multitasking on display while he continued his usual duties, a back and forth about the differences between money making in Suitopia and Cog Nation vs Toontown. Of course, Chip would never understand Toons. What do you mean you get currency just by playing games on a trolley? Selling the fish you catch makes sense, or perhaps even winning races, but how does playing Mini Golf work in that regard? Instead of stocks, you can plant jellybeans and grow flowers? Ridiculous. He could never understand.

Then Perry mentions the Gumball Machine. There's this whole separate "Gumball" currency that lets you get boosters. Hello? Boosters that magically enhance the output you get? He'd be skeptical if not for the fact toons don't already make a lot of sense. Next thing you know he's curious enough to want in on this after learning of specifically the merit boosters, and Perry's willing to give him a portion of eir gumballs to mess around with.

The only question is, how do you safely bring a 11ft 7in chainsaw-faced cog into toon territory without everyone immediately panicking?

Easy.

Sheet ghost.

And you'd be surprised to know this actually Genuinely worked. It was funny enough, so no one noticed a thing. Come maintenance hour on a fateful Merit Monday, Chip was dragged into Acorn Acres to check the Gumball Machine for boosters of his liking. Gets himself a Cogbucks booster and a General Merits Booster.

New problem. People are asking about him. What's his deal? Why's he so tall? Why doesn't he talk? He's just a big bear toon. He doesn't talk and hides under a sheet because he's shy. Oh, what's his name? Chip- He's staring. Chip, uh... G...rumblenose.

He's still staring. He doesn't look very happy with that.

But the good news is that everyone else happily accepts that. He is now known as "Chip Grumblenose" much to his very painful dismay.

Once retreated back to Cut to the Chase, he'll sell off all the lumber he's been holding onto and profits hit a record high. Of course, no one in the company has to know that. No one has to see the fact he's made double, it's just magically all there. ...He just pockets half of it and acts like he got the standard amount.

...Of course, he can't ignore the fact Perry just helped him discover a new way to make a mean profit, and uses this newfound wealth to buy a little itty bitty something for em as thanks. Mentions it to Perry and ey're wholly expecting something small and simple. Ey don't mind that nor were ey actually expecting anything in exchange.

Instead, Chip buys em a motorboat.

Ey cannot recover.

Much like how Mr. Revvington can't recover from the fact he's now getting weekly cattlelogs out of nowhere, all directed towards a Mr. Grumblenose.

[felixstudios]

Random Corporate Clash Headcanons, Playing Corporate Clash Edition

Let's ignore how long it's been since I made these, okay? And ignore the massive 4th wall breaking

ALSO special appearance from some mgrs I normally wouldn't write for

Duck Shuffler

🎰He doesn't really know how to strategize, so he picks random stuff and hopes for the best

🎰Absolutely LOVES the trolley

🎰Loves to talk to basically anyone he comes across and try to make friends with them

🎰Often gets indecisive about what to do next, so he spins his slots to decide

Prethinker

🧠Okay, usually his intelligence is laughable and fun to make fun of, but this guy is a professional no life. He knows EVERYTHING about the game

🧠Tries to reach 150 laff as soon as possible and has absolutely ZERO fun with the game

🧠 Doesn't make friends and only talks if he's giving out battle strategies, which is... basically every round of battle even if it's just a 2 story building in Barnacle Boatyard

🧠He's kinda elitist, too

Derrick Man

🛢️Doesn't really play that often since he's not a gamer

🛢️I can't ever imagine him getting much further than The Brrrgh cause he just. DOESN'T PLAY.

🛢️Despite his inexperience and infrequently logging in, he's actually pretty decent at the game

🛢️Collects manager rewards and hoards them. He needs them all

Deep Diver

🫧He's the kind of person to not leave Toontown Central until he's maxed all of his activities, has overpowered gags, and also started a club that's now at level 100 and has like 50 members

🫧Very slow and methodical with her gameplay- she explores every little nook and cranny before moving on. Has all racing, golfing, and fishing trophies kinda thing. Gets all achievements kinda thing

🫧Loves to set up in battles and take his time with them. Yes, he will struggle a lot with Pacesetter

🫧She LOVES fishing, by the way

Rainmaker

⛈️Doesn't really enjoy combat very much and prefers to play Toono and such

⛈️Also really likes the trolley and makes tons of trolley groups

⛈️Wouldn't progress much further than Mezzo Melodyland, probably

⛈️Tries to make friends, but others tend to find her annoying or even rude so she doesn't make very many

Land Acquisition Architect

🚦Tries to get some friends together to play with him

🚦Behind the screen, he is absolutely having a temper tantrum over EVERYTHING. Be it a gag missing or someone doing a less optimal play, he's screaming

🚦But in the game he's like SUPER DUPER NICE and makes no outward show of how angry he actually is

🚦If you befriend him, you're getting constant invites to like everything he does

Gatekeeper

⚔️Tries to max in the most efficient way possible

⚔️Will try to show off all her boss loot, but of course only in stylish ways

⚔️Kind of an elitist, definitely pretty rude

⚔️Likes to sit out of bounds doing nothing. Alternatively, she sits in front of the CFO doors or in DDL doing nothing just to show off her TTR elitist roots

Witch Hunter

🔱He says he wouldn't play such a childish game and says he's just gonna uninstall it

🔱Five minutes later he's in an OCLO. Also, he has 150 laff so clearly it's not too childish for him

🔱He's an elitist

🔱Would 100% quad Toon and try to act like they're not his alts, even going as far as giving them their own "typing quirks" and having fake conversations

Public Relations Representative

🧱Can't really use SpeedChat+ effectively since he glitches around and makes lots of typos

🧱Frequent misclicks and missteps

🧱Will not survive OCLO or Pacesetter very often

🧱Surprisingly loves to play the game and accidentally no lifes to 150 laff

Bellringer

🔔Loves to destroy Cogs with perfect damage whenever possible, for some reason

🔔His estate would be VERY cozy, which is honestly a huge feat considering its current in-game state makes it... very lonely and desolate by nature

🔔Super fashionable Toon, but he's also a little modest with his outfits

🔔He's ALWAYS gossiping in at least 3 people's whispers at any given point in time

Multislacker

🥪Is usually too lazy to push buttons himself, so he watches someone else play his Toon most of the time

🥪He is 100% never doing a Pacesetter himself

🥪Whenever he DOES play, it's usually easier boss fights and things that don't require much user input

🥪Sometimes gets enough motivation to play with his dad

Vice President

💡Started playing the game because he noticed his son really seemed to like it and he wanted to spend time with Cathal

💡At first, he doesn't really see the appeal of the game. But once he finds out there's a lot of strategy involved, he decides it's "like trying to find that perfect sales pitch!" and keeps playing out of personal interest

💡He'd apply to the Clash team to manage their social media accounts

💡He'd try to convince his coworkers to try out the game

Mouthpiece

☎️She doesn't really get the appeal of the game, but she'll play it anyways because her grandchildren wanted her to play with them

☎️Literally just does whatever her grandchildren wanna do

☎️She'll max her Toon... eventually

☎️She doesn't fully grasp battle strategies, but she knows enough to get by

Major Player

🎹Constantly suggesting things to be added to the allowlist so he can say ridiculous stuff {i.e. he was probably the one who wanted skibidi to be added... yes this is actually something you can say in the game}

🎹This guy would be the kind to accidentally time out in battle because he was typing a long message

🎹If you whisper to him, good luck getting him to whisper back. He... will probably forget to respond

🎹Constantly saving his teammates with PREFECTLY timed unites

Chief Financial Officer

💵Plays because Allan convinced him to do it

💵Surprisingly, he finds it enjoyable right off the bat. He especially likes battles

💵He feels a bit alienated since he's the only one who seems to find it weird and creepy that he can fight against himself in the game, so he just doesn't mention it to anyone else

💵He will have like 148 laff and the last 2 laff boosts he'll need will be his Cashbot suit LOL

Firestarter

🔥Mostly only plays because Graham wanted him to

🔥Wants to take his time with everything and try to actually figure out how to strategize, but he's usually too soft spoken to ask questions to anyone but Graham {who gives vague answers because he doesn't really know how to strategize}

🔥But if he makes a friend... TONS of badmouthing others in whispers happens. Much shade will be thrown and more tea will be spilled than was spilled in the Boston Tea Party

🔥Once he finally figures out how to play the game, oh you bet he's gonna use it to secretly make fun of others who don't know how to play. He knows he was once just like them, but he doesn't care

Plutocrat

🌑He makes his satellite investors play with him so he doesn't have to wait for groups

🌑Also bosses them around from what gags they need to bring to what everyone's outfits look like {they all match and they're all in a club together}

🌑Because of all the help, he reaches 150 really fast

🌑Only helps his investors if it benefits him as well and doesn't really play with many other people

Chief Legal Officer

📚Plays because Allan suggested it to her

📚Is SUPER detail-oriented with her gameplay, so she always knows if she's in kill range. Also, she's very good at assessing the best strategy to use

📚Very no nonsense type of Cog, so she doesn't really do anything unless it's to advance in the game somehow

📚Has like 500 of each type of unite, like 7K C&Ds, 3K pink slips....

Treekiller

🪵Genuinely finds it VERY fun to destroy Cogs

🪵He'll convince Chip to play with him

🪵Don't think he'd ever max, but he'd get close. Like... 130-140 laff kind of close

🪵Loves to spam rewards in boss fights

Chainsaw Consultant

🪚Only plays the game because Spruce wanted him to

🪚Although he won't say anything in the game about it, he gets pretty mad when people make bad choices in battle

🪚Usually plays with music turned off and sound effects still on, which many others have told him is very eerie

🪚Doesn't seem to enjoy battles very much, but he won't outwardly admit that

Chief Executive Officer

⛳Plays because Allan suggested it to him

⛳I don't think I'm surprising anyone when I tell you that the first thing he's doing is maxing golf. He'd be scary good at it too, like he'd get a perfect 9 in the hole kit and kaboodle

⛳Doesn't actually get very far in the game since the rest isn't all that interesting to him

⛳He finds it... interesting how C.O.G.S., Inc. is portrayed in the game.

Featherbedder

💤Tends to prefer shorter playing sessions

💤Makes slow progress over the course of years

💤Also hangs out with friends quite often

💤Falls asleep at the keyboard... a lot. Like, a lot. It's just a known thing they do

Pacesetter

👟Tries to basically speedrun the entire game

👟If he goes sad {which will be a lot since he's so under leveled}, he will blame it on anything but his own fault

👟Once he unlocks his own fight, he will spam it over and over. He's... not really sure what to think when he goes sad to himself. Did he win, or did he... lose? Is he awesome, or...? Okay, yeah, thinking about that is stupid and for losers

👟Shows off all his manager loot in a way HE thinks looks good. Whether or not it actually does... I'll leave for you to decide

Chief Operating Officer

📋Seems to genuinely enjoy playing the game

📋Doesn't really have many friends and tends to multitoon so he's "less burdensome" sometimes

📋He'd 100% apply for Clash support team {whether or not he gets in I'll let you decide} because he'd just like the game that much

📋SUPER kind and always willing to help other people out

Scapegoat

🐐He's the one who suggested the entire Litigation Team play it

🐐He's either REALLY pissed off or super calm about battles with no in-between

🐐Tends to make a lot of... less optimal choices in battle or needs to be told what to do. He just struggles a little with strategy sometimes

🐐100% he spams forges in like every fight so he can do more damage with that extra level 8. Oh, he also loves to set up with IOUs and uses a lot of those too

Case Manager

💼You'll think this guy is muted because he won't use SpeedChat+ like, ever. I mean, he doesn't really use SpeedChat either, but he at least USES it.

💼Has gags set up to play more of a supportive role in battle, always tries to pick gags last, and generally has a somewhat more passive play style

💼He does communicate a decent amount with stickers, surprisingly

💼Already has a maxed Toon and is just working on his alt

Stenographer

⌨️She would play on any control scheme EXCEPT a QWERTY keyboard {or even AZERTY, Colemark, Dvorak... basically any common layout}. I feel like she'd be pretty much allergic to it lol. And yes, she does think she's better than you for it. [Author's note: I use Dvorak on my phone and my only advice is don't.]

⌨️She's the kind of person to talk on and on and on and on and... oh my Cog how is she typing this essay so fast anyways?!

⌨️During segments like the final OCLO round, she ABSOLUTELY sweats it with like pixel perfect movements. And if she had a mic, you would hear intense keyboard pressing {or whatever she's using to control her Toon}

⌨️A little rude sometimes, but she's USUALLY pretty nice. Oh, and if you befriend her then she gossips a lot

Litigator

🐊He's an elitist LOL

🐊He would get soooooo mad and start cussing people out over one "mistake" and also be the kinda person to straight up leave a boss fight because of an argument

🐊Sorry, but I genuinely cannot see this guy being fun to play with

🐊Also I feel like he'd have a super old YouTube channel from TTO days of him greening people

[violetganache42]

Ooooh, boy. This has been an announcement I have been dying to share for almost a year now, and I think this is the perfect time to make it because I'm not joking when I say this:

I'M GOING TO LAS VEGAS AND CALIFORNIA FOR THE FIRST TIME!

Okay, so there is a funny story on how that happened. One day during the spring last year, Mom was looking at dates for us to go see Garth Brooks in concert again and saw that he currently has concert residency in Las Vegas. Despite the initial debate on whether we should go or not considering the huge distance between there and our home, she ultimately bought the tickets for it because we've never been to Vegas before. And that's just only the beginning. lol

Later that same year, during the summer, Mom and I were running errands and talking about our upcoming trip to Vegas. She mentioned how this was gonna be the closest she'll be to California; it's her birth state and the last time she was there was a few decades ago, so she couldn't not go visit there again. Not even a second later, I simply replied, "✨Disneyland~.✨" Pizazz and all. XD She immediately said that she didn't even think of that at all, which had me laughing, and it quickly led to our trip becoming full-fledged family vacation plans. The planning was a gradual process because at the time, we were more focused on our second Orlando vacation in September and me staying with my older sister in Milwaukee from late December to mid-January while Mom was in London and Paris. With all of that out of the way, we've been finalizing our Las Vegas and California plans for the past few months; now, I can officially say we'll be on vacation from Apr. 24 to May 4.

I still cannot believe this is actually happening! I never thought I would end up going to the other side of the country for anything. And lemme tell you, there are a number of things I am already looking forward to checking out: the sights of Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, going to Toontown and Super Nintendo World, possibly visiting Mom's birth town! I am super excited!

[ghostthejester]

✦ ' ☆ Community Made Cogs! ☆ ' ✦

Dear Toontown community, I have something for you all! I'm gonna try to get the WHOLE (or at least some) Toontown community to create fan-made Cogs! These may not be added, as these are only going to be used as a bonding exercise for the community. There is going to be one manager (for the Toontown Corporate Clash community) and one normal Cog (for the Toontown Rewritten community)! There will be one theme for every cog. All features will be provided by you wonderful folks! The themes will be listed at the end, for now, I'll be telling you what to add and the rules!

RULES:

No offensive stereotypes

Follow the theme

Be friendly and have fun!

What to add!:

Real name

Suit name

Likes & dislikes

Employment history (optional)

Relationships (optional)

Personality

Other minor information that the community can decide!

Great, now I tell you guys themes!

The manager cog will have a lantern theme!

The normal cog will be here! (Theme will be one of y'all's choice! Don't fight)

Remember, this is a bonding exercise, so I need y'all to work together as a community! I'm gonna go now, I'll give you all three concept designs for each Cog and I'll give y'all a choice to pick one to be the actual design. Of course, this is AFTER you guys finish the whole actual making process. After everything is done, these Cogs will be all of YOURS to make art/fanfics/other stuff out of!

Goodbye and have fun, Toontown community! (This is supposed be lighthearted :) )

[just-some-guy-joust]

Full list of Side B OCs under the cut!

Bracket post

Side A list

Professor Morelle Da Capo | She/her | @kira-moonrabbit

Robotwoman who is famous for being dedicated. She works 24/7. Her hobbies include "logging everyone's opinions about her" and "standing still thinking about bicycles"

Chester Mallory | He/Him | @liliflower137

Chester is a twitch streamer and freelance programmer. The multiverse keeps dropping wild adventures on his lap but man he just wants to kiss his husband, cook some food for his friends, and take a damn nap.

Lilly | She/her | @pocket-ghostie

CW: Child death

Lilly is a ghost who has found other ghosts and is hanging out <3 Almost all of the plot is happening around her. Thats actually a major plot point in the story, things are happening to the people she cares about... but nothing is really happening to her. She is simply hanging out and doesn't know what to do about the plot, but it keeps going without her doing anything. I don't have much to say about her, I only have things to say about the people around her.

[No image submitted]

Cobblestone Mason | He/him | @splatoonmaster69

A regular human fighter youve seen a thousand times. I promise. NEURODIVERGENCY JUMPSCARE.

(Mod note: I promise there's gonna be more context for this guy in the actual polls when I put the longer description there lmao)

CW: Transformation horror, isekai, lightning strikes

Mendel Warrenpeace | He/him | @bittersweetbonbon

Mendel was just a normal guy, who happened to love Toontown: Corporate Clash *so* much that he played it nearly 24/7, maxing out all of his gags and disguises, even going so far as to become a beta tester for experimental VR haptic suits, just so he could be more immersed in the game. However, he was foolish enough to play the game in VR during the most intense lightning storm seen in his area, got struck by said lightning, and was isekaed into the game itself. Now trapped in the world he used to adore, at level one no less, he would do anything to get back home, up to and including re-beating the game, no matter how strenuous running around and throwing pies at robots is in "real life". Of course, beating the game isn't going to free him from Toontown's inky clutches, but we don't have to tell him that, right? Of course not.

Darien | He/him | @bittersweetbonbon

Darien is a normal guy in every way possible, except for the fact that his boss, Anthony, has been steadily replacing all of his coworkers with robots. So, in response, Darien started bonding aggressively with the robots, bringing them home-baked goods and motor oil and listening to their problems, until said robots unanimously decided "Yeah, we like this guy, we're keeping him.". When his boss got word of the robots liking Darien more than him, he conspired to turn Darien into a robot, too, and would have succeeded if said robots didn't revolt against Anthony, turning *him* into the robot instead. Now with a legion of incredibly loyal automatons behind him, Darien has become the de-facto owner of the company, a fact that stresses him out to no end, and drives Anthony to the end of his wit with jealousy.

#cyclops# | It/they | @splatoonmaster69

Cycnical highschool nurse with a haircut that gets them mocked by the teenage mages they are the unwilling gaurdian of.

Volshebney Rebenok Asteroff | He/him | @splatoonmaster69

The worlds most 14 year old ever. Eats a diet of only mac and cheese. Sneaks onto a boat by stabbing it and passing out. Just. So Incredibly 14 years old

Gloria | She/her | @mysterystar2

Just a gal! She's got a normal family and (up until recently) a normal life too. She's got a special interest in photography and is also generally a very anxious gal, and a lot of us can probably relate <3. She's super considerate and is super close with her friends and family, and would probably be your buddy too even if you only tell her hi.

Levi Dienhart | He/him | @imfirequeen

Levi lost his memories and is now kinda just a wet pathetic cat of a man. He works in a craft shop all day and has a sweet girlfriend and a daughter they adopted. He's in a constant state of being unfazed and just confused, but he does like purple. He's the embodiment of the autism creature.

Chel | She/her | @toonfanstars

She was just an average guy. She would wake up, eat breakfast, and get ready for work. She didn't particularly like her job, but her coworker was friendly enough, even if a little too ambitious. She likes to keep her routine as normal as possible, and any little deviation usually bugs her but she tries to deal with it. Whether it be that she can't find a matching pair of socks or suddenly getting possessed by a demon, nothing is stopping her from getting her morning coffee & bagel from her favourite bakery.

Rishi | He/Him | @littlemsterious

he’s cursed, has seen the horrors. is pretty laid back about it. he didnt do it, it just happened to him.

Freddy V. | He/him | @g0thiclem0nade

Freddy is just some greasy southern accented vampire that is definitely older than the US of A. He likes to play his guitar and rock out with his friends. From helping people save their sisters to running around a post thermonuclear wasteland America he’s very often sidelined by some other cooler person. It should also be noted this guy has been a character occurrence in several of my video game play throughs because he’s just that versatile.

Zena | She/her/hers, it/its/its, and ze/zir/zirs, but all pronouns are acceptable | @spark-ocblog (CW: mentions of blood and murder on this blog)

Zena works a variety of retail jobs and lives in a boring, cheap, low-quality apartment. She is entirely oblivious to the various supernatural happenings in the town she's in, despite being one of the oldest supernatural creatures in the area. It likes to participate in mundane human activities for fun, such as "Lie Down On A Cushion For Eight Hours With Your Eyes Closed," and "Pet Animal." Zir biggest worries are busy shifts and managing human finances.

Bea Hart | He/Him | @lowpolyskeletonz

Bea Hart may be half God, but you know what he also is? Just a guy. He's a husband and father, an absolute sweetheart and probably the only person in his friend group who's still atleast half human.

Levi | He/him | @cyikess

An unwilling chronic isekai protagonist. He can't catch a break! He keeps getting thrown to new and different fantasy/sci-fi/whatever worlds when all he wants is his normal life back. He's just a guy!

[trashogram]

Hi there!

I saw your hashtag "The TP are not allowed to harm humans" which makes a lot of sense, they are law enforcer for Toontown... but they do carry real guns. The ones used to harm and kill humans 👀

Hey!

Ahh, ok that’s my bad bc I didn’t preface that tag. That’s just my HC bc it benefits that cute (to me, lol) Toon Patrol/Reader scenarios.

In the movie, Doom says that Smartass can kill Eddie as soon as Roger and Jessica are dipped. So that contradicts my tag on top of their real human weaponry as you stated. I’d like to think they’re still not really “allowed” to kill human people and only have human weapons bc it adds to their authority. Not all toons are wanted for murder like Roger, but I can imagine when others got in trouble with the TP, there may have been some good-hearted people willing to hide them or come to their defense as well.

((IRL we know the TP use human guns and such bc the creators of WFRR were badasses that wanted to do that bc it looked cool. Ya know, bc they actually cared about making the movie as fun as possible.))

[mad-doodle-disease]

source: various notes found scattered status: surprisingly neat

It seems someone or something took the notes I accidentally dropped while hurrying away from those amalgamations around a week ago. Luckily I managed to rewrite down what I lost once back at our bunker, all thanks to my brilliant memory. Knowing that other people are still out there are relatively intrigued by my research, I will begin to make copies of my notes and leave them in places for people to find. That way, even if I am infected or mauled, my highly intelligent work will precede me.

The disease seems to be highly ironic and malicious in what it begins to destroy, almost as if it has a mind of its own. I assume this irony has something to do with those Toons, considering their pets is what this whole disaster originated from. If you love to run, it will atrophy your legs, forcing you to crawl along the floor at a snails pace. If you love to paint, it will malform your hands. If you love to sing, it will destroy your throat at mouth, leaving you either mute or an tone-deaf screeching mess. That way, even if you're cured or immune, it still ruin you. I am incredibly lucky that I have taken all the necessary precautions to make sure neither I or the Toon that's helping me gets infected! My beautiful, luxurious brain will be protected by the disease now... and the Toon's brain too. He's surprisingly smart, after I got to actually know him.

Speaking of "tone-deaf screeching messes", radios are now practically unusable and a danger to use or have around. I don't know what is going on, but it only seems to be picking up one signal now, and that signal is just... screaming? Screeching? It sounded like metallic screeching. I can't go back to relisten to it as I have already destroyed my radio and listening to it makes my brain feel like its going to rupture. Did someone get infected and mutate? It would have to be a Cog considering they have access to radio signals. That or some infected Toon is hiding out in some radio tower, messing stuff up. Heh, when I told the Toon that, he "laffed".

I am ever so slightly beginning to realize why Toons love jokes so much, although I might just be losing my mind. Joking is one of the only things keeping me and the Toon from breaking down and becoming unwilling to continue working to find the cure nowadays, even if the jokes are a little morbid.

place of origin: toontown central

days into infection: month 0, day 21

NEXT

[clowndotgay]

Hi!! I recently found your blog and your renders are amazing! I showed some of them to my friends and we went mentally ill over it (especially the deep diver and thomas one) I saw that you take requests and I was wondering if you could make a render of robert and thomas, it could be anything! I'd love to see the two bros spending time together. (But don't feel forced to do it if you don't want to, i'm just suggesting a little idea heehee)

Okay that's it byyyee!

i was super flattered by this ask so i kind of overdid it haha! images are big, you might have to zoom/open in new tab, sorry about that. but. that's how it goes. extra render + rambling under cut

okay theres the silly render ^ they have such a fascinating dynamic. weird distant capitalism brothers

DISCLAIMER IS: i realized SIGNIFICANTLY through putting this together that i uh... don't actually know much about the chairmans personality? i am a very new player and don't know a majority of the characters in depth so i'm kind of just trying my best when it comes to half of these personality-wise. so for the last 30% of making all this i was deathly afraid that i was doing severe character assassination on both of them. my bad if i did!!! it wasnt intentional!!!

my read on the chairman from what i know of him is that the only way he'd really "hang out" with a relative is by doing it under fake made up business pretenses. (also, i just found it really funny that chairman actually stands on the COO's head in a comic)

but also um. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! this is my first public social media account in. pretty much ever? and i only really started posting stuff here a couple weeks ago. all the nice interactions and cool people has been unreal! please please send render requests whenever you feel like, i absolutely love doing them and i'm not super imaginative when it comes to the characters that i'm already familiar with. (if left to my own devices i will perpetually make mingler x flunky renders)

honestly the render of mary and thomas might still be my favourite out of all the ones i've done so far. their friendship just makes me grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr its so sweet and nice. they are autism2autism communication. (note: almost everyone in toontown is autistic to me)

LAST thing! mildly odd proposition but message me if you want COO's model or chairman's model as blender files! or anyones model, really, but chairman and coo are the ones i have made the most edits to the head rigs of, so they're actually easy to use! and fun to use! (unheard of concept to blender users (its rough out here))

oh my god this post is way too long. i refuse to slim it down. my bad. thanks for reading (??)