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lovecla · 5 months ago

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OCEAN EYES | connor bedard

chapter one.

➴ warnings: swearing, underage drinking.

➴ word count: 3.2k

➴ author's note: omg this is my first time actually publishing something i wrote. the things i do for you, connor bedard. hope u like it <3

“SOMETHING tells me I shouldn’t be surprised to see you like this, but I still am.” You hear his voice before you can actually see him, which makes you wipe your tears fast and sigh loudly.

A girl can’t cry to her favorite Marvel movie anymore.

“You should try minding your own business. It’s super fun,” you say, putting the bowl of popcorn down and pausing the movie.

“Why would I even do that? Minding yours is way funnier.” Alex says, putting his luggage on the floor and sitting right beside you. You fight the urge to hug him tightly just because you don’t want to admit you’ve missed him a lot.

“What are you even doing here?”

He scoffs. “Last time I checked, this was my house.”

“You know what I mean,” you roll your eyes. “What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to be back in Illinois until tomorrow evening.”

“Well, after yesterday’s W, we thought it’d be great to be back earlier,” he grinned and you sighed, again. You knew what that meant.

Winning equals partying in Hockey world and usually, the party happened at Alex’s house since he had a big ass house, no wife, no parents, no kids. Just an eighteen year old sister living with him before moving to her own apartment.

Having a somewhat famous brother wasn’t exactly in your to-do list but here we are. After Alex joined the Blackhawks, everything went upside down in the best way possible. For him, you mean.

For you and my parents it meant going to every game, every party, every important dinner. And even though you’re not complaining at all, it was so much in such little time. So you’re still getting used to it.

But Alex won’t make it any easier. Every time they win and come back home, it’s a party. Your parents stopped showing up after the first one— they opened the door of the guest room (where they were staying) to find Donato fucking some random girl. It wasn’t exactly his best moment, you’ll give him that.

“What time does it start?” You ask, starting your movie again.

“Eight p.m. sharp. Bedsy will be here so you can be weird together or whatever y’all teenagers do.”

“You’re just five years older than me, dumbass. Just because you bought your own mansion at twenty-two, doesn’t mean that you’re that old.”

“Whatever. The point here is: y’all weird.”

As much as you’d like to prove him otherwise, he isn’t one hundred percent wrong.

You and Connor met two years ago, when he and Madi were still living in Sweden. Despite what everyone thinks, some NHL agents already had their eyes on Connor, so they’d casually invite him (and he always brought Madi with him) to games, including the games your brother would play.

You befriended his sister quickly because, hello, she’s just the best human being in the entire world (hopes Chloe doesn’t hear you) and suddenly, going to his games wasn’t that bad anymore.

One day, Madi couldn’t go to one of the games, so when you went to chat with her, you just found Connor, chilling by himself.

“Hum, hi?” You remember saying, very embarrassed and awkward. You weren’t afraid of him, you had spoken to him before and he is friendly, despite what everyone else seems to think. He’s just. Quiet.

“Hi, Ellie,” he answered, taking his eyes off the rink for once. His face was like always: expressionless. “Madi couldn’t make it today. I’m the only Bedard you’ll have today, I’m afraid.”

You laughed, because, what, had he just made a joke? Crazy. Then you sat on the seat beside him and made yourself comfortable, trying to find Alex in the sea of big, aggressive men.

That was kind of the beginning of your friendship. Just like that, you talked his ears off during the entire game, complaining more than speaking, really. You’re not much of a calm person when it comes to game watching. And whenever you thought he wasn’t listening, you’d stop talking, and then he’d look at you and say things like:

“So? Where’s the rest of the story? I’m interested in why you think The Incredible Hulk is the worst Marvel movie.”

And then, when he joined your brother’s team, you were more than happy. He and Mads got to be closer and you could hang out with her whenever school and her job let you.

“I don’t think we are weird. At all. We’re just not excited about partying every single day like you are.” You replied, trying to distract yourself from the fact that Natasha Romanoff had just died on screen.

It should have been that fucking Clint asshole. Fuck him.

“Every time I throw a party here, you both just stay on the couch talking and talking, not a single drink in y’all’s hands. I get that you can’t really drink yet but at your age I was getting shit faced whenever I had the chance.”

“That isn’t the brag you think it is but fine,” He flipped you off and you smiled. “Can I invite Chloe?”

“I mean, I invited fifty guys to our house, you might as well invite your annoying girlfriend as well.” He used that one tone he always used whenever he’s annoyed and it made you roll your eyes, again.

“She isn’t annoying.”

Even though it isn’t a lie, it felt like one. Ever since you started hanging out with the players of Alex’s team more, she started to act weird. And she’s kind of obsessed with Bedard. But then again, half of the hockey community is so.

No biggie.

“Whatever, loser,” he slapped your forehead and you hit him with the pillow you were resting your head on. “You stink.”

“You fucking stink. Go change into something that isn’t a suit, weirdo.”

“I will, but not because you asked me to. I was going to do that anyway.”

You smirked. “Of course you were.”

—

EVEN though you didn’t plan on staying up the entire night like your brother and some of his teammates— the majority of the guys your brother invited were still in his twenties like him, so they don't have big responsibilities like kids or wives or husbands—, you still dressed up a bit.

Thankfully this isn’t anything fancy, so you just put on a black, silky, maxi skirt, a corset-like tube top and low heels. Since you got lazy and ended up listening to music instead of getting ready, you had to put your hair in a slick bun because it was already eight and you still weren’t ready. So, slick bun it is.

Your phone rings and you pick it up, reading Chloe’s texts:

You sent a quick nice and put on some perfume. It’s not long until you hear a quick knock on my door, followed by a blonde mess that you like to call your best friend.

“Hi, oh my God, you look stunning.” You say as soon as you both make eye contact, because Chloe’s just so freaking beautiful.

“I know,” she replies, sitting on your bed. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. Not really in the mood for partying though.”

“Are you kidding?” She slaps her knees with her hands, a smile on her face. “You have a house— no. Not a house. A mansion full of hot hockey players and you’re not in the mood for partying? What do you mean!”

You shrug. “You know I’ve never really cared about hockey. I don’t see the appeal, if I’m being honest.”

It’s true. Even before Alex made it to the NHL, you always thought hockey was just… alright. You don’t get why people get so excited to see some guys throwing a puck and skating. The fights are always fun to watch, though.

“You’re crazy,” she says, and you think she’s probably right. “Is Bedard coming?”

“I don’t really know. Maybe?” You replied, turning around and facing her. “Maybe yes. He’s on the team after all and he did score the last goal.”

“So. I need you to do something for me.” Chloe replied after a minute or two, and just by seeing the crazy look she has on her face, you knew that this isn't a really good thing.

You sigh. “What do you need?”

“I need you to introduce me to him.”

“Him?” You ask, confusion taking over your entire face.

She rolls her eyes. “Connor! I need you to introduce me to Connor!”

You don’t know why but her sentence makes your heart beat faster. You don’t like this feeling or her words either. But you just swallow your discomfort down and try to keep your expression neutral.

“Bedard? Why do you want that? You’ve never even acknowledged him in the past two years.”

“Well, I was waiting for him to make the move, but he’s so oblivious sometimes,” she says, sighing. “Honestly, I thought he liked you. You know, with how close you both are.”

You almost choke on your own spit. “Connor? Liking me?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but you can’t really blame me though. You’re all over each other and you even sit on his lap during movie nights.”

True. But also, not true.

“Well, I do that with all of my friends. I mean, I would do that if I had more friends. It’s not really my fault I just have you, Madi, Alex and Connor. I can sit on your lap if you want to—”

“Ew, not happening,” she fake-gags, making you laugh. “Anyway. Recently he said in an interview that he is single and not interested in anyone in particular. Soo, that’s my chance!”

You don’t know if you’re more weirded out with the fact that she watched one of his interviews or with the fact that she wants to be with him. And what makes you feel even weirder is the fact that you actually can picture them as a couple.

Chloe is your perfect WAG: blonde, rich, tall, good on cameras and gorgeous, even for an eighteen year old, fresh out of high school. She’s always at random, fancy parties because she says college isn’t for her, so she needs to find a rich, hot husband for herself.

You’ve never really said anything about that because you don’t think relying on a man to provide for you is the right decision. You want to get into college and continue to study so you can make your own name, and now that Alex’s known, you will need to work twice as hard to make sure you’re not getting anything just because you’re his sister.

But thinking about Chloe trying to make Connor her husband?

Yeah. It made you feel terrible.

“Yeah, I don’t know about that, Chloe…”

“Wait, what?” Something like anger flashed through her eyes. “You don’t think I have a chance with him? Why?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just—” God, why were you feeling like this? It’s just Connor. A guy you met two years ago. “Connor’s really closed. We’ve never talked about relationships. I don’t know how to approach him.”

The smile is back on her face. “That’s fine. You just have to tell him hi, this is my best friend, chloe. And I’ll do the rest.”

You had a bad feeling about this. And it probably showed in your face because Chloe was frowning, again.

“Ellie,” she said, slowly. “Do you like him? Is that why you don’t want to introduce us?”

You were the one frowning now. Liking Connor? Seeing him as anything more than a friend? No, what? Crazy. Chloe was nuts. You just didn’t want him to get hurt. That was all.

“What?! No. No, of course not!” You said, feeling hot. “Connor is just a friend. Like you.”

“So?” Chloe said, quietly. “You will introduce us, right?”

“Yes,” you replied, without hesitating this time. “Please, be nice to him.”

“Oh, I am going to be nice,” she smirks. “I don’t know about the things I’m planning on doing with him though.”

She laughed out loud and even though you didn’t find anything funny, you laughed too. Even if your heart felt like it weighed more than the whole moon.

—

FINDING Bedard wasn’t as easy as it sounded.

Even though your brother’s house was big, it felt crowded with people. Alex said it’d only be fifty guys or so, but he forgot that those fifty guys were bulky and big, so it would feel like his house had at least eighty people there.

The music wasn’t extremely loud, it was just a background noise, so everyone could hear each other just fine. And boy, were those hockey men loud.

Every time one of them recognised you, they’d just shout and raise their arms, with either beer or liquor in his hands. It took you and Chloe at least fifteen minutes to get to the kitchen, so Chloe could get a drink for her and you a diet soda. You hated the taste of alcohol.

“God, at this point we’re never finding him,” Chloe mumbled, sipping on her beer and making a disgusted face. “You need to tell your brother to buy some proper beer.”

You chuckled. Despite everything Alex said, he’d probably freak out if you asked for alcohol. “I could always call Bedard. If he’s here, he’ll show up.”

“Yeah, do that. I’ll go to the bathroom real quick, and I’ll be back.”

You nodded, grabbing your phone and searching for Connor’s number. You finger just a centimeter from the screen, your heart beating fast in your chest, and you wanted to punch yourself when you caught yourself thinking I hope he doesn’t answer.

“I’m the world’s worst best friend,” you mumbled to yourself, disappointed with your own stupid brain.

“That skirt looks good on you,” you heard Connor’s voice and you looked down fast, checking to see if you had actually called him. When you found your phone still on the contact list, you furrowed your brows. “Hi, El.”

You turned around just to see Connor standing there, with his awkward smile and blue eyes. His hair was a bit longer than you remembered but it looked even better than before. He looked good.

You smiled, all that tension from before gone in seconds. “Hi, Con. I was literally just about to call you.” You raised your phone, showing it to him.

“Yeah?” He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you close. Hugging him was something that felt so precious because he never really did it with many people, and to think you’re one of the lucky ones? Yeah. Precious.

“Yeah,” you replied, hands around his middle, your height difference making the whole thing funnier. You stepped back, looking him in the eye. “I— I need to… hum. Introduce you to someone.”

He raised his brows, just slightly. His face going all-Bedard like again. “It isn’t a boyfriend, is it?”

“No?”

“That sounded more like a question than an affirmation. Are you seeing anyone?”

“What? No,” you laughed, amused with his answers. “No, I’m not. You and Madi would be the first to know if I were, I promise.”

“Then, who is it? Last time you said you had to introduce me to someone, I had to chat for forty minutes with an old lady who thought the Avengers were real.”

“Don’t call Susy old!” You threw your arms up, still laughing. “And that day was funny as fuck. Also, I see myself in her, so if you don’t like her, you probably don’t like me as well.”

“Bullshit. You know I like you.” He said, blue eyes looking everywhere else but your face.

Your heart did that backflip it always does whenever Bedard says something like that. You smiled.

“I like you too,” you whispered. “But I need you to meet someone.”

Just before Connor could ask who that someone was, Chloe re-entered the kitchen, slowing her steps when she noticed that Bedard was there.

“Great, you’re here,” you said, holding one of Chloe’s hands and pushing her closer. “This is who I wanted you to meet. Chloe, this is Connor Bedard. Con, this is my friend Chloe.”

Chloe reached out her hand to greet him. “Hi! I’m a huge fan. Congrats on your win!”

Connor greeted her back, but his gaze was fixed on your face. It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable, all the tension from earlier coming back. Something that you couldn’t really identify flashed through Connor’s eyes and it made you want to scream.

“Hi. Thank you.”

Connor’s dry words didn’t seem to surprise Chloe. “Do you want to drink something? I make the best Black and Tan in the entire world.” She smiles.

Connor looked at you and you bit your lip, your mouth opening to speak before your brain could stop it. “It’s true. She does.”

“Oh, are you drinking now?” He sounded… angry?

“No, of course not,” you scoffed, wishing you had kept your mouth shut. “But people like it a lot.”

“I can’t drink. We have to hit the gym tomorrow morning.”

Blue eyes looked at you again and honestly? You were ready to call it a night and go back to your room, because what the hell. Connor wasn’t usually this complicated.

“Oh,” Chloe sounded disappointed but then. “Then maybe we can grab some drinks together tomorrow evening?”

Damn, she doesn’t give up.

“Sure. But El doesn’t drink.” He replied, leaning against the kitchen counter, his biceps practically ripping the tight shirt. You reminded yourself to stop staring.

And then you proceeded to remember what he’d just said.

“Um. I’m not coming,” you were sure your lipstick was already gone with how much you were biting your lip so you switched to picking on the skin around your nails. “I… I have… well, I’m—”

“She has a date.”

You and Connor both looked at Chloe. Your eyes doubled in size and you had to fight the urge to punch her. What the hell was going on with you that night, you wondered.

“Do you?” Connor asked, and he was definitely angry now. His face wasn’t showing anything but his eyes told the entire story. They had a storm going on inside of them and he had the same look as he did when that one guy made his teeth bleed during one game.

“That sounded more like a question than an affirmation. Are you seeing anyone?”

“What? No,” you laughed, amused with his answers. “No, I’m not. You and Madi would be the first to know if I were, I promise.”

Fuck.

“Well. It’s nothing serious. Just— a guy?” It definitely sounded like a question. Lying wasn’t exactly your best trait.

“Yeah, a guy. So, she can’t come. Just you and me,” Chloe continued, grabbing another beer and sipping on it. “Can you pick me up at seven? I’ll text you my address.”

Truthfully, you didn’t know how Chloe had the balls to act like this, especially with someone who hasn’t shown interest in her at all. Maybe this is what being confident means? You thought to yourself, trying to right her wrongs once more.

Connor just nodded and left the kitchen without saying a word.

“That went well, huh?” Chloe said, looking happy with the situation.

You just hummed, not wanting to lie more than you already did that night.

God.

#hockey #connor bedard fic #connor bedard x you #connor bedard x oc #connor bedard x reader #connor bedard

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naughtyneganjdm · 1 year ago

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Lost & Found - Chapter 2

Summary: Once Negan gets better, he tries to teach Mia to fend for herself so she can take care of herself when he leaves, but Negan finds himself more attached to this girl than he expected to be.

Characters: Negan, Mia, Y/N (reader/OC), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53376820/chapters/135146467

Warnings: Swearing, Gore, a child gets hurt, Severe Angst, etc.

Notes: I was going to wait to post this, but since it's already done and the reason I didn't post it all at once because I thought it may have been too long is why I'm just posting it today. I know it won't get the hits because it's not smutty, but that's okay. I wrote this all in one night a few weeks ago. (Chapter 1)

“Would you knock it off,” Negan looked back over his shoulder to see that Mia was standing in the middle of the woods with her head tipped back and her hands thrown up in the air. With the rays of sun shining through the trees, she was enjoying the way it felt over her flesh. “You’re being weird again.”

“I’m sorry man, it’s just been a long time since I got to be outside this long,” she informed him, her long eyelashes fluttering when she turned her head to stare out at Negan with a big cheesy smile. “It feels nice to get the sun on my skin.”

“You have to listen to me,” Negan snapped his fingers to get her attention hearing her huff loudly. “You’re never going to survive if you can’t focus.”

“I’m focusing! I listened to you when you explained to me how to dress a wound. Which I obviously knew by the way since your ribs. I helped you move the bush and the branches over the gates to hide the fence. I listened to your long ass description of each and every gun,” she listed off the things they had already done together, “So please excuse me if I take a moment to enjoy the warmth on my skin after being locked away inside of a house for so long.”

“Mia, I’m leaving tomorrow,” Negan reminded her of what was happening. Over the last few days Mia had been taking care of him and nursing him back to health. Today was the first day he actually had the strength to get up and move around. “If you don’t pay attention now, you are never going to make it. You have to find your own food and be able to survive.”

“Okay! Okay! I’m listening boss,” she lowered down into the same position that Negan was in noticing that he was pointing to the footprints that were in the grass.

“You have to be able to track and be quiet,” Negan motioned her to follow him to track the deer that they had been for a while now. When they made it to the bush, he motioned her to be quiet and reached for the bow to give it to her. Pointing out in the distance to where the deer was, he saw her face turn pale at the idea of actually killing the animal. Motioning her to use the bow the way he taught her earlier had her expression changing and he could tell she didn’t want to do it. “I know you’ve never done this before, but it’s the only way to survive.”

With a frown, she did what Negan had shown her earlier in the day with the bow and arrow. When it hit the deer and it let out a pained sound, Negan reached out to pat her on the shoulder, “Good job. We’ll have a good meal tonight because of you.”

“I just feel like a horrible person doing this Negan,” Mia stated when Negan moved up on the deer with his knife and she had to look away when Negan finished the deer off. A gagging sound fell from her throat when Negan looked back at her with his hands bloody. “I hate killing something else…”

“It’s the only way you live,” Negan reminded her hearing the sound of something moving in the bushes and he pulled his handgun out, stepping before Mia to keep her behind him when he saw three men approaching them. “Back off.”

“Hey, we don’t mean any harm,” the man in the center explained, his features softening when he looked beyond Negan to see that Mia was with him. “We just didn’t know someone else was out here hunting. We didn’t mean to scare you and your daughter.”

“I’m not his daughter,” she spoke up, her face scrunching when the man that was speaking gazed over her. Negan hushed her and tried to push Mia back behind him to keep her safe. Hearing someone else refer to her as his daughter out loud made even him uncomfortable. “What?”

“She’s not your daughter? With the same eye color, the dark hair and the dimples?” the man inquired drawing Negan’s lips to part, getting distracted in that moment to look back at Mia. Clearing his throat, Negan noticed the way that the sun hit in her hazel eyes and he felt a breath catch in his throat. “I’m sorry young lady. I just thought this was your daddy.”

“My dad died,” she responded once more and immediately Negan cut her off.

“The deer is ours,” Negan informed them, his thick eyebrows bouncing up.

“Do you have a place around here somewhere?” the stranger questioned, but Negan remained quiet. “If you’re looking for a group to join, we have a campsite about a mile or so away. If it’s just the two of you, it might be easier if you join us.”

“We’re good. We’re not alone and our group is waiting for us,” Negan lied, keeping his gun up like he had taught Mia days earlier. “The three of you can move along now. We’re fucking good.”

The three strangers stayed where they were and Negan clicked something on the gun drawing the stranger in the middle to throw his hands up, “Listen fucker, if you don’t leave, I’m going to put a bullet right between your eyes and then your friends. So I suggest you get the fuck out of here.”

“Like I said, we didn’t want any trouble,” the stranger hit the chest of the other two he was with before nodding in another direction. “We will get on our way.”

“Better do that,” Negan waited for them to leave, never lowering his gun until he knew they were far out in the distance. Swiftly moving down, Negan grabbed the deer the best he could and threw it up over his shoulders. Motioning Mia to stay close to him, he walked around in circles for a while and out of the way to make sure that people weren’t following them. Just in case they might be tracking the two of them, he hoped by doing what they were, the strangers would get lost.

“What are we doing?” Mia questioned when she even picked up on Negan acting strange. “This isn’t…”

“Quiet,” Negan hushed her with a hiss before finally leading them back to the cabin. Once they got there, Negan did his best to hide everything and dragged the deer into the kitchen. Dropping the deer on the counter, he heard Mia let out a disgusted breath when the blood splattered. Starting to pace back and forth in the kitchen had Mia’s eyes locked on him, confused. “Fucking hell.”

“What is it?” Mia didn’t understand what was going on and he gave her a glare.

“You are going to fucking die Mia!” Negan claimed with tension flooding his veins.

“What?” she gave him a surprised expression when Negan threw his bloody hands up in the air. “Why?”

“You don’t give strangers personal information!” Negan snapped at her, his face twisting with anger when she looked up at him with her big hazel eyes. “People aren’t nice anymore Mia! They are more dangerous than the walkers and you are able to wind up dead in those kind of situations.”

“You were a stranger,” she reminded Negan and he immediately shook his head.

“I’m not like everyone else Mia! You have to be cautious of everyone. You have to be prepared to kill anyone because they are going to do the same to you. They don’t care if you’re a kid,” Negan continued to lecture her seeing the color growing in her cheeks the further he yelled at her. “People will kill you or they will do something…much, much worse.”

“What’s worse than killing me?” she whispered, her eyebrows furrowing and Negan let out a growl of frustration. “I just don’t understand Negan.”

“People aren’t good Mia. That’s why I had to walk around like I was so they couldn’t follow our tracks,” Negan educated her on what he had done, his head shaking when he stared her down. “Men like that are dangerous. You’re a pure, sweet, little girl that they can take advantage of and hurt. Do you understand me?”

“Negan, I just…” she tried to reason with him since she hadn’t really felt like she did much wrong.

“Do you understand me?” Negan screamed at her causing her to lower her head.

“I understand,” she nodded, a lump growing in her throat while she tried to avoid getting upset with him screaming at her like he was.

“If you don’t listen to the things that I’ve been telling you, you’re going to die and then there will be nothing for your mother to come back to. Do you understand?” Negan snarled when he noticed the redness growing in her cheeks as she continued to avoid looking at him. Curling his finger underneath her chin, he forced her to look up at him and let out a shuddering breath. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes sir,” she responded with a firm nod trying to hold back on her emotions that she was having. Even though she was trying to put up a façade, Negan could tell that she was getting emotional. “I’ll pay attention and listen to everything that you have to say.”

“I’m going to show you how to deal with this deer. It’s very similar to how you would deal with any other animal. You don’t let things go to waste. Not anymore,” Negan started, leading her toward the counter while he started doing the process of what to do after you killed the deer. Even though she was uncomfortable, he made her do a lot of it with his help and instructions because he knew she would be left alone. Whenever it looked like she was going to get sick, Negan would take over and give her a break. At the corner of his eye, Negan could see that Mia was observing him closely. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Do you think that guy was right?” Mia brought up the men that they had run into and Negan stopped for a moment to look over at Mia. “Do you think you look like you’re my father?”

Hearing her ask him that question caused his heart to skip a beat. A breath caught in his throat and he immediately lowered his head to go back to work trying to avoid the question. It had been something that he considered several times since being here, but he didn’t want to bring it up to her.

“We do have the same color eyes. The dimples,” she pointed to her cheek when Negan gave her a quick look trying to avoid getting blood on his face. “Even the freckles on our shoulders.”

“Your father died, Mia,” Negan reminded her, his nose wrinkling when he tried to stay firm about everything. “You know that.”

“Yeah, but maybe my mom was lying like you said,” Mia suggested and Negan almost heard a hopefulness in her voice. “We have so much in common and I do look like I could be yours. We both love peanut butter…”

“Everyone loves peanut butter,” Negan corrected her with a grunt, shaking his head when she was considering this whole thing herself. In one hand he had a knife when he shrugged his shoulders and he noticed that he was dripping blood all over the floor. “You know, unless they are allergic or some shit.”

“You don’t think I look like I could be your daughter?” she wondered having him step back to stare out at her. The truth? Yeah. She looked very much like she could be his. He thought it from the first moment he saw her.

“I’m not your dad,” Negan shook his head, refusing to allow that thought to linger between either of them when he went back to work. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Some random woman gets pregnant with my baby fourteen years ago and just somehow, miraculously I find her in the middle of the woods in a cabin fourteen years later?”

“Weirder things have happened,” she went to try to help Negan when she noticed his hands were shaking and he lifted his hand to stop her. “So there is no way that you could be my father? You weren’t with anyone back then?”

“Mia, I can hardly remember what I did last week let alone fourteen years ago,” Negan reasoned with her, his Adam’s apple bouncing in this throat. “I’m not the only person in the world to have dark hair and hazel eyes.”

“Yeah, but the dimples and the freckles,” she reasoned with him, tugging at her shirt to reveal the freckles that were over her flesh. Stepping forward, she tugged at Negan’s shirt to look at the freckles that were on his shoulders and he pulled away from her with a huff. “Maybe it was the world’s way of…”

“You’re not my daughter!” Negan snapped at her, throwing his hands up in the air to have her stop talking. “I understand that you are probably feeling a certain way because your mother has been gone for so long. You’re looking for someone to cling onto, but I’m leaving tomorrow, Mia. Think about what the chances would have to be for that to happen. It’s impossible. And I have a family. A son that I have to get back to. He needs me.”

After Negan brought up Joshua to her, it made tears burn at her eyes and she nodded her head, “you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. My dad is dead.”

“Can we finish this please? I’d like to get some sleep tonight so I can start early,” Negan begged of her noticing her lifting her arm up to wipe at her eyes with an area of her arm that didn’t have blood on it. Without another word, she stepped forward to help Negan.

Most of the night she stayed quiet, even throughout dinner after they cooked. That was rare for Mia, but she talked. A lot. Just like him. Negan taught her how to preserve the meat and use other parts of the deer. When it was time to separate for the night, Negan went to the room he had been staying in. During the middle of the night, he heard movement in the hallway and he carefully got up to look through the small crack in the door. Mia was sitting on the stairs and she looked deep in contemplation, but also sad.

Considering talking to her, Negan realized it would only make things harder in the morning when he left so he just went back and crawled into bed. By morning, when he came out with the bag he had upstairs packed, he found her sitting on the couch and he wondered if she had been up all night.

Usually Mia never shut up. Yet she was speechless right now. Mia went to sit on the stairs again with nervous energy, but she still said nothing. With him packing the rest of the supplies that he would need that he was taking from what Mia had after their agreement, he could see that her face was red and she looked extremely upset.

“Well kid,” Negan went to the bottom of the stairs with her hazel eyes lifting to meet his. “I guess this is it. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Yeah,” she moved down the stairs and held out the thing that she had in her hand. Seeing that it was a full jar of peanut butter made Negan’s eyebrows bounce up. “Here, you should have this since I know peanut butter is your favorite.”

“I already have enough,” Negan pat his backpack knowing that she had already given him supplies for his journey. When she held the jar out further toward him, he accepted the jar of peanut butter and gave her a small nod. “Thanks kid.”

“I hope you find them,” she whispered, a tremor falling from her throat as she tried to keep things together. Holding her hand up, she curled it into a fist and held it out to Negan. With a smirk, Negan fist bumped Mia and gave her a wink. “Goodbye Negan.”

“Goodbye Mia,” Negan motioned her to follow him outside so she could let him out of the gate. Before he left, he made sure to help her chain everything back up. “Make sure you cover everything once I leave,” Negan gave one more order noticing that she was having a hard time looking at him when he left. “I hope your mother comes back Mia.”

There was a single tear that was sliding down her face when Negan frowned and lowered his head. Maybe he should have said something more or done something, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Pushing forward, he knew that he had to keep on and find his family. It was hard leaving a kid that he knew had nothing, but he had to. His family was out there waiting for him and he had been gone long enough.

For a while he walked and made some good distance. After some time, he started to hear footsteps following him and he would steal a look over his shoulder to try to see what it was. Keeping on, he heard the footsteps start to quickly come up on him. Turning on his heel, he brought his gun up only to come face to face with Mia who had been following him.

“Mia! What the hell are you doing?” Negan yelled at her, his heart pounding away inside of his chest. Mia had stumbled back when he had thrown the gun in her face out of surprise.

“Do you think…do you think that maybe you could just stay until my mom comes back?” Mia requested causing Negan’s throat to tense up, a small rumble of a groan falling from his throat. “Please. I have so much to learn still and…I don’t want to be alone again Negan. I’ll give you all the medicine that I have if you do. Please.��

“I can’t,” Negan shook his head, clinging tightly to his bag drawing the color from her features to return. “I have a family of my own that I have to find and get back to. I can’t just wait with you until your mom finally comes back.”

“You’ve been away from them this long,” she reminded him causing his dimples to become more prominent with the anger that flooded his veins when she brought up how long they had been apart already. “Why not wait a couple more days? What difference would it make if you just stayed with me a few more days until my mother came back?”

“I owe you nothing Mia,” Negan reminded her, his eyebrows bouncing up and his head tipping to the side.

“I mean, I did save your life,” she pointed toward his ribs, her chest aching at the annoyed glance he gave her. “You’d be dead if it weren’t for me.”

“And I paid you back plenty with my knowledge,” Negan insisted, throwing his hand up in her direction. “So don’t pull that shit on me.”

“Just a few more days,” Mia placed her hands together, her jaw clenching when she stepped forward toward Negan who pulled the cowboy hat he was wearing from his head. “And when she comes back, then you can just…”

“Your mom isn’t coming back Mia!” Negan interrupted her having a frown flood into her young features. “I hate to be the one to tell you this Mia, but your mom is dead. You know that I’m right. If your mom was alive, she would have come home a long time ago. Something obviously happened while she was out on a supplies run. I can’t stay waiting forever with you because I have a son and a wife to find. You can’t trap me into staying with you while waiting for your mother to return when we both know it’s never going to happen.”

“Just a day?” she tried to get him to agree to something, but he frowned and shook his head. “Please? My whole life I’ve felt like I was just some kind of mistake. It’s my biggest fear. It always was. That I was something my parents didn’t plan and I shouldn’t have been here in the first place. I felt like a waste of space Negan. Until you came along. I felt like maybe I wasn’t a mistake anymore. I saved you. I took care of you. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Go home Mia,” Negan ordered, clutching to his bag and letting out a long sigh. It was breaking his heart hearing all of this, but there was nothing he could honestly do. “You’ve got a target on your back if you stay out here.”

“Negan?” she whispered his name with a whimper and he shook his head before continuing in the direction that he was headed all along.

It hurt leaving that girl all alone, but he had to or else he knew that he would never leave. There was no way that Mia was ever going to understand that her mother wasn’t coming home. He couldn’t get stuck in a child’s dream that was never going to happen so he had to make his way onward. For a while he walked until he came up on a small camp where a fire was burning. Swiftly making his way into the bush, he wanted to get by without being detected until he heard the sound of a radio being used.

“We found the girl from yesterday,” Negan stopped when he heard that and looked over his shoulder to see one of the men that he had ran into with Mia the day before. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan squeezed his fist closed and lowered his head.

“Just keep going Negan,” he tried to coach himself, cussing under his breath.

“Did you find out where they were hiding?” the man stood from where he was sitting beside the fire and Negan lowered down. “Did you find the guy that she was with?”

“It was just her. She won’t talk,” the voice on the radio responded leaving Negan to lower his head. “I can’t get her to talk, so we’re bringing her back to the camp.”

“Good idea,” the stranger replied with a grumble, pacing in the small area that they were taking up in the woods. “I can think of a few ways to get her to talk. And if she doesn’t, I really don’t care. I’ll make good use of her.”

“Fuck,” Negan lowered his head into his hand. There were four people already at the camp and he had no idea how many were coming back. Cussing to himself, Negan thought about what he was supposed to be doing. Where he belonged. If he stayed behind to help this girl, he would likely get hurt again or die before he found his family again. “Come on Negan.”

Trying to stay close to the ground, Negan managed to get out of the area of the camp, keeping his head down. He couldn’t let a few days ruin the few years of planning that he had done. It was the sound of a gunshot going off that made him panic. Rushing back toward the camp, Negan carefully came up on it noticing that one of them he had just seen was lying face first in the dirt dead.

“Stop moving you little shit,” the original stranger they interacted with was screaming at Mia from where she was underneath him on the ground. Two of the others were holding her wrists down while she struggled. “You just killed one of my men, you can’t just expect me to let you go without punishment.”

“Get off of me you fucker,” Mia spat at the man and Negan could see that her face was bloody from whatever the men before had done to her. “I’ve got nothing to give you.”

“Where is your dad?” the man questioned, grabbing a firm hold of Mia’s face to get her to look up at him. One of Mia’s eyes were swollen and Negan felt his chest tightening when Mia said nothing. Reaching behind him, the stranger grabbed a hunting knife and held it to Mia’s throat hearing her whimper. “Where is your dad?”

“He’s not my dad,” she repeated what she had told the man the day before. A scoff followed and the stranger dug the tip of the knife further into her flesh. “He’s not my father!”

“Come on little girl. You look exactly like that guy and you expect me to believe you aren’t his kid,” the man half laughed drawing Mia to swallow down hard. “It be one thing if you weren’t a spitting image of him, but you are. You’re expecting me to believe that you aren’t a product of that man’s nutsack?”

“I’m not. Even if he was my dad, he’d want nothing to do with me,” Mia explained wincing when the tip of the blade cut at the side of her face. “He left me! He was just a stranger. Please.”

“Fine. Whatever. I don’t care, he’s not your daddy,” the man mocked her hearing her straining to get out from beneath him. “Where is all of your stuff? Your community?”

Instead of answering the man above her, Mia spit causing the blood from her mouth to spray in his face. With a laugh, the stranger shook his head and wiped at his eyes, “You don’t want to talk? Fine. I’ll find other things to do with you then…”

Going to reach for Mia, the man screamed out when she sank her teeth into his hand causing him to yelp. Trying to pull his hand back, the man couldn’t get her off him and when he finally did, his fist came crashing into her face.

Immediately reaching for his gun, Negan started firing it off hitting one of the men that was holding Mia down on the ground between the eyes. There was no more holding back, Negan needed to protect her now. Shooting the gun at the other one holding onto her wrist had the man rolling backwards and Negan felt his body being tackled by someone from behind. The gun fell from his hand, sliding a few feet away while he struggled with the weight that was over him. Bringing his elbow back over and over again, Negan managed to get the person that was there off before he reached for his hunting knife to bring it back to stab the person that was behind him in the throat.

Shoving the weight off of him, Negan swiftly got to his feet only to feel someone tackling into his ribs drawing him to hit the ground hard. That knocked the wind out of him, especially since he was still tender there from being injured. Over and over again fists hit him and he did his best to block the punches, but the person still got a few good hits in. When the man over him got tired, Negan managed to get a few powerful hits in before bringing his knife up to dig it into the center of the attacker’s chest. Pulling it down gutted the stranger that was over him, causing blood to pour down over Negan. Grunting out, the weight of the body fell in over him and Negan hissed shoving the weight off of him. Struggling for the gun that he had dropped, Negan scoffed when someone shot at the gun causing him to fall back. Gazing back over his shoulder, Negan saw there were two of them left. One was the main stranger that they had seen yesterday and Negan presumed he was the one in charge. He was the one with the gun and the second stranger was approaching Negan.

“I knew daddy wouldn’t be far away,” the man in charge muttered when Negan considered his next move. Noticing that there was a rock beside him, Negan waited until the man approaching was close. Sweeping his legs out, Negan locked his legs with the stranger causing him to stumble, hitting his head on the oversized rock leaving a large blood smear across it. Snatching his gun up from the ground, Negan held it up at the stranger in charge while keeping his knife in his opposite hand. It was then that Negan noticed the stranger had an unconscious Mia in his arms with his knife pressed to her throat and his gun pointed at Negan. “Don’t!”

“So you get your rocks off hurting little girls?” Negan questioned wiping the blood away from his bottom lip. “Is that your thing?”

“Drop your gun or I swear to God I will cut her throat,” the man screamed at Negan watching Negan toss his gun to the side and hold his hand up in the air. “You give me your group’s location and I will let you have her.”

“See, here is the thing,” Negan took a step closer hearing the nervous breath that fell from the stranger. It had him clinging tighter to Mia and Negan clung tightly to the knife in his hand. “You hit that little girl. There is no fucking way I’m going to keep you alive.”

“I said stop,” the man warned, shooting the gun off and hitting Negan in the arm with the bullet. A grunt fell from Negan’s throat when he looked to it and then back to the man. “I said stop!”

Rushing the man, two more shots went off, but a gurgling sound fell from the stranger’s throat when Negan managed to bring his hunting knife into the stranger’s belly before pulling up. Dropping backwards, the stranger released Mia who fell to the ground as well. Standing over the stranger, Negan looked to his own shoulder with a wince. One of those two shots hit him in the shoulder, but the second missed him completely.

“Your aim is shit,” Negan reached for the gun that the stranger had used, his head tipping to the side. “Are you part of a bigger group?”

“Fuck you,” the man snarled and Negan pointed the gun down at the stranger’s groin. “I’m not telling you shit.”

“Fine,” Negan shot the stranger in the groin hearing him crying out in agony. “Are you the last one?”

“I’m the last one. Please…” the stranger begged holding up his hand for mercy when Negan moved further in over him. “It’s just me. It was only us.”

“You should have left the little girl alone,” Negan took one final shot, hitting the stranger right between the eyes. Dropping the gun on the man’s chest, Negan looked to Mia and frowned. Picking her up in his arms, Negan made sure to grab his things before carrying her back toward the cabin. It took longer since he was injured, but once he made it back, he carried her into the cabin first and laid her down on the mattress that she had previously pulled into the living room for him. Going back outside, he locked things up and hid the gate as best as he could before heading back inside. Getting some water to clean Mia up, Negan frowned while he took care of her hating that he let this happen. He wished she would have just stayed in the cabin like he asked.

After he was done cleaning her up, he could only really see that she had a swollen eye with a bloody nose and lip. Which she should have never had in the first place. Once he was sure that she was okay, he shakily pulled his shirt off and assessed the damage of his gunshot wounds. The one in the shoulder was a whole lot worse than the one that hit his arm. The one in the arm was a flesh wound, but the one in his shoulder was one that he would have to dig the bullet out of.

Shakily searching the medical supplies that Mia had, Negan did what he had to in order to get the bullet out of his body finding himself thankful that this guy had a shit shot enough that it didn’t hit anything major. It was hard to clean up the wounds but he did what he had to in order to make sure that he was safe.

Waiting in the chair that Mia had before when he was hurt, Negan stayed there until morning. Toward the middle of the night he had started to drift and he tried to fight it, but he couldn’t. When it was morning and she started to shift, Negan noticed her trying to lift her head up and he motioned her to stay when he moved to the bed beside her.

“Hey, it’s me. It’s Negan,” he hushed her noticing the way that she seemed to calm down when she heard his voice. “You’re safe. I’m with you.”

Shakily her hand reached for his and he hooked his fingers with hers hearing her breathing uneasily, “I’m sorry I left. I’ll stay with you until your mother returns. Okay? I won’t leave you again. I promise.”

Mia said nothing, just gave a nod and lowered her head back to the bed weakly. Clearing his throat, Negan went to pull his hand away, but he felt her still clinging to it, “Please don’t leave.”

“I won’t,” Negan assured her lowering down beside the bed to allow her to keep holding onto his hand. “I’m right here.”

It didn’t take long for Mia to fall back asleep and he frowned looking her over. The thoughts about what the stranger said about her looking like him was running through his mind. They both had questioned in multiple times and he really did wonder if he was her father. Getting into the bed beside Mia, he laid at the other side watching her while she slept.

After a while he had fallen asleep as well and in the middle of the night woke up to see that Mia had cuddled up next to him much like he had described Joshua to her in the past. Clearing his throat, Negan lifted his head to see that her head was laying over his chest and he was thankful it was on the side that wasn’t hurt. Cautiously, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him so he could nestle his chin in over the top of her head. There was something about Mia that felt personal. And now he knew that he had to stay with her. There was no other way.

----

“Would you show your cards already?” Negan snickered from where he was sitting across the table from Mia who was staring out at her cards that were in her hand. It had been a month and a half since Negan had decided to stay with Mia and wait for her mother to return. Each day Negan could tell that her belief and hope that her mother would return was leaving her. But Negan did his best to keep her hope alive. “You take forever with this game. If I would have known you were incredibly slow, I would have never taught you poker.”

“Hold your horses old man. There is a lot at stake here,” she pointed toward the potato chips that they were playing with in order to do the game. Tossing the potato chips into the center to match his bet made Negan smirk and shake his head. Lowering down his cards, he showed her that he had a straight.

“Not so arrogant anymore, are you?” Negan stole one of the potato chips and she playfully swatted his hand away from the rest of them. Plopping one between his lips, Negan watched her lay down her cards to show that she had a full house. “Jesus. How do you always beat me?”

“Because I’m awesome,” she dropped her hands forward to scoop the potato chips in closer to her. A snort fell from Negan’s lips when she shook her head and pushed the potato chips forward. “But we can share.”

“Very bold of you kiddo,” Negan winked at Mia, taking another potato chip for himself before relaxing back in the chair that he was sitting in.

While relaxing, Mia collected the cards and started to shuffle the cards. It made him smile to see her working them the way that he had taught her. Grunting out, Negan pulled himself up from the chair and moved toward the fire that they had set up earlier in the fireplace. Grabbing his chair, he pulled it to him. Taking a seat, he got comfortable and looked to his wrist. Around it was a bracelet that Mia had made for him in their time together. Sadly, it made him think of Annie and Joshua. It had been six weeks since he agreed to be here with Mia and he never thought he would wait this long for Mia’s mom. It had been over two months since Mia’s mother had left and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she was never coming back.

“You know,” Negan began, looking back over his shoulder at Mia while she was playing a game of solitaire on her own. “You just keep beating me at all the games that I teach you.”

“That’s because you’re a good teacher,” she got up from where she was seated and grabbed her chair to move in beside Negan. Clearing her throat, she stared out at Negan who was looking at her funny. “What is it?”

“Can I ask you some things?” Negan inquired knowing that they had been on his mind for a while, but he was worried to ask them considering the topic at hand. When Mia gave him the go ahead, he stretched out his legs and frowned. “What else do you know about your father?”

“I told you everything I know about my father,” she reminded him, her jaw flexing when she reached up to stroke over her earlobe in a moment of contemplation. Grumbling to himself, Negan knew that was something he did when he was uncomfortable too and it made him sigh.

“You never saw a photo? She never gave you a name?” Negan threw his hand up in the air pretty sure at this point that Mia was his. That stranger wasn’t wrong. The more time that Negan spent with Mia, the more he realized it. From her physical features to some of the ridiculous quirks that she had—she was so much like him.

“I think it just hurt her so much to lose him,” Mia attempted to explain her mother’s behavior. “I don’t know Negan. She just has a ring that she wears. They were married and she never took it off. That’s all she has from him.”

“What does the ring look like?” Negan’s eyebrow arched up as he stroked his fingers down through his short beard. “Is there anything that stands out?”

“I don’t know, it looks like a ring,” Mia was dramatic, a laugh falling from her throat at how serious Negan was being about everything. “Why? What does it matter about the ring that she wore?”

“I don’t know,” Negan lied knowing that he was just trying to strike something in his memory that would make him think about a moment in his life where things made sense. “I just…I feel like if I heard something or knew something, it would make me remember.”

“Remember what?” she could tell something was wrong and she reached out to place her hand in over his. Negan’s fingers hooked with hers and he gave her a weak smile.

Negan’s lips parted when he considered telling her that he thought he was her father. Instead, he waved his hand in the air dismissively and shrugged his shoulders. There was a long silence that lingered over them for a while when they both sat by the fire before she finally cleared her throat. “I was thinking…it’s been over two months since my mother left. I uh, I know I shouldn’t think like this, but I was wondering…”

“Yeah?” Negan tipped his head to the side seeing the color draining from Mia’s features. “What’s on your mind kiddo?”

“If I was ready to finally let go, would you take me with you to go find your family?” she threw out the idea that had been on her mind for a while now after they had waited so long for her mother to return. “I know I’m just some stranger to them, but I really like being with you Negan. You’re the closest thing to a real parent that I’ve ever had.”

“Hey,” Negan frowned, hushing her when she said that out loud.

“I mean it. I loved my mom, but she never used to play games with me,” she pointed back toward the cards that they had been playing with. “I’ve learned more from you than I ever did my mother. I know about football because of you. So many new games. I’ve actually gotten to see the outside. And you make me actually feel seen. Before I felt like my mother’s pet.”

“You don’t mean that,” Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and she shook her head with a saddened breath. “I’m sure your mother loved you.”

“My mother loved me the best way she knew how. You’re the first person I’ve actually felt safe with,” she insisted, turning in her chair so that she could face Negan. “You want to get back to your family Negan and I can’t keep holding you back. So why don’t we pack up and I’ll go with you? I’m helpful. I’m a decent cook. I can teach Joshua games. I can babysit when you and Annie want to have alone time.”

“Mia,” Negan snorted, rolling his eyes at the last comment.

“Please?” she begged of him, her eyes gazing over Negan when she shook her head. “I’d rather just go with you than stay waiting for someone who really never loved me that much in the first place. I know you don’t feel the same way, but I lo…I care about you Negan. You’ve cared for me more in the last month than anyone has in my life.”

“I…” Negan could see the hopefulness in her eyes. It took a minute before he sighed and he gave her a slow nod. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll take you with me to Missouri. You’re just going to have to listen to me and be on my ass at all times.”

With an excited breath, she jumped across the small space to give Negan a hug. An amused sound escaped his throat when she put as much of her strength into it as she could. Hugging her back, Negan nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck and smiled.

“Thank you, Negan,” she was grateful for him agreeing and she excitedly hopped up from her seat. “I’ll pack tonight! What should I take? How much should we bring?”

“Hey! Calm down. We have to think things out and then we can pack tomorrow. We’ll leave the day after,” Negan announced knowing that he had found comfort in this home, but he wanted to find Annie and Joshua. Staying here was nice, but this wasn’t where he belonged. He knew that. “Let’s just sit and talk about it. Then we will figure everything out.”

And that’s what they did. They planned everything. They packed and she asked a million questions about Annie along with Joshua. What they were like. The things they liked. And he found it charming that she was doing that. With how much she talked, Negan couldn’t help but find amusement in it. She was so much like him and he knew that. They had fallen asleep talking about things before waking up in the morning to go over everything.

“When are we leaving?” Mia seemed frustrated while she paced the living room with Negan taking in account of everything they were bringing with them. “We should just go.”

“Missouri isn’t that close Mia. We just have to make sure that we have everything. We have a very long journey ahead of us. Okay? Just let me make sure that we have everything that we are going to need,” Negan hushed her while he finished looking through all their stuff. The fact that she was so excited to leave surprised Negan. It was a huge difference from the little girl he had met originally. A laugh fell from his throat when he felt Mia wrapping her arms around him from behind. “What are you doing?”

“I’m giving you a hug,” she answered him, burying her head against the side of his neck drawing Negan’s laughter to grow. “I’m just glad you came into my life Negan. You showed up when I needed someone the most and I love you.”

Hearing that drew a breath to catch in Negan’s throat. Closing his eyes, he cherished the hug that she gave him.

Tension flooded Mia’s body when she heard a faint sound coming from outside. Looking back over his shoulder, he could see something change in her eyes when she looked back toward the door, “What is it?”

When they both heard it this time, Negan watched Mia scramble to her feet and run to the door looking out the front of it, “It’s my mom.”

“Mia, don’t,” Negan warned knowing that it had been so long that it likely didn’t make sense that her mother would be returning. It was too fast though because she was running outside and pulling away the brush that Negan had previously thrown in front of the gate. Once it was open, Negan saw a woman hunched over. She was thin, her hair messy, her clothes dirty and she was covered in blood. It made his throat go dry knowing that whoever this was, she had obviously been through hell. “Mia?”

“Mom?” she whispered and Negan heard the woman let out a tremoring breath before stumbling forward. With the way she could barely hold herself up, Negan swiftly swooped in and caught her when she collapsed. It was obvious she had passed out and Mia was scrambling to get a good look at her face. “It’s her. Negan, it’s my mom.”

“Run inside and get a cloth wet,” Negan instructed carrying the woman in his arms toward the cabin after making sure things were locked up again. Laying her down on the couch, Negan could see that Mia’s mom was likely starved and abused. Wherever she was, she had gone through hell. Footsteps were heard when Mia returned with a cloth. “Go find her some clothes Mia. Some clean clothes.”

“Okay,” Mia ran off to do what Negan requested of her.

Negan did his best to clean up the woman before him. Once the blood and the dirt was mostly gone from her face, Negan felt his heart sink finally seeing the features of Mia’s mom before him. An overwhelmed exhale escaped him when he looked to her hand. Observing the ring over her finger had the room spinning around Negan. Dropping back onto his bottom, Negan cleared his throat and lowered his head between his thighs.

“Hey?” Mia called out when she entered the room again with the things Negan asked of her. “Negan? What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

“I uh…I don’t know,” Negan stammered with an uneven breath brushing his hair back when he gazed over at Mia. “Let’s just get her cleaned up and we’ll have to wait.”

For days they actually waited. Mia was exhausted and finally fell asleep in her room leaving Negan alone with Mia’s mother. When he was finally about to pass out, he noticed her shifting on the couch. Sitting up straighter, he saw her eyelashes fluttering and she let out a pained sound. Moving in beside her, Negan was doing his best to monitor how she was so he could help her in whatever way possible. When she finally came to, she turned her head to gaze over at him and she let out a shocked breath.

“Negan?” she muttered his name, shakily lifting up to reach out and stroke her fingers over the side of his face. Leaning into her touch, Negan closed his eyes and felt his mouth dry when her whimper followed. “Am I dead?”

“No,” Negan answered her, his eyes opening and he could see that she was crying while she stared out at him. “Hey Y/N.”

“How is this happening?” she let out a tremoring breath, doing her best to pull herself up, but Negan hushed her and tried to stop her from overextending herself. “I thought you were dead. When I went to Alexandria, I was told you were gone. That you weren’t…”

“I’m not dead,” Negan shook his head, biting down on his bottom lip grabbing a hold of her hand while she brushed her fingers through his hair. “I never was.”

“How did you find us?” she questioned, noticing that Negan was crying while he stared down at her and she reached up to swipe the tears away. “I never thought…I never thought I would see you again. I tried to talk to Rick after Mia was born, but no one would listen to me. They took some of the people from The Sanctuary, but they wouldn’t take me. I was too loyal to you and they wouldn’t let me in. Even knowing I was pregnant. They just gave me some supplies and shooed me off. I tried going there. I did and I thought I would save you, I just…they told me you were dead.”

“You stayed at The Sanctuary?” Negan confirmed with a frown, his bottom lip trembling when she nodded.

“Until we couldn’t anymore. We were forced out after a while. It couldn’t sustain life there anymore and we had to leave,” she educated Negan, her fingers tracing over the side of his face while she slid in closer to him. “I’m so sorry. I would have kept trying if I would have known that they had you. I just didn’t and…”

“Y/N,” Negan breathed out feeling her lips claiming his and he was frozen against her kiss at first. Closing his eyes, he allowed her to kiss him before faintly starting to kiss her back. When her fingers brushed through his hair and stroked at the back of his neck, he pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” she repeated with a weak smile. “Does Mia know that you are her father? Did you tell her? She’s going to be so excited to know that her daddy found us.”

“I’m married,” Negan stammered, his body trembling when she stared out at him with confusion. When she went to kiss him again, he put a distance between them and shook his head. “I can’t Y/N. I’m married.”

“I know,” she lifted her hand to show the ring that he had given her when they were at The Sanctuary together. Y/N was someone that Negan had flirted with for a long time. Someone that he had relentlessly asked to be one of his wives, but she always turned him down. So he romanced her and he romanced her hard. And somewhere down the line he truly felt like he had fallen in love with her. So that’s why when she finally agreed to be one of his wives, he had given her a real ring. At the time, he promised her that after everything went down with Rick that she would be his only wife. And he did know that she was pregnant. It was something he learned toward the start of his war with Rick. It was just when he asked about the people that were still at The Sanctuary, he was told that they all died and he believed it. When he returned to The Sanctuary after he escaped his cell that one day, when there was no sign of Y/N or a baby there, he just believed them. He thought they were dead and never went looking for them again. He couldn’t believe it was something he forgot until he saw her face again the other day. “I’m your wife.”

“Stop,” Negan begged when she went to touch his face again and he lowered her hands down to keep her away from touching him. “I’m married to a woman named Annie. We have a son. His name is Joshua and they are waiting for me in Missouri. I found Mia by mistake almost two months ago. I started thinking she was my daughter, I just didn’t know for sure. We were going to leave for Missouri the day you showed up to go find my wife and my son.”

“You’re not being funny Negan,” Y/N declared with a saddened breath and Negan shook his head slowly. “It’s not…”

“I’m not kidding Y/N. I’m very happily married,” Negan informed her noticing the way that she looked down at the ring that she still wore that he had given her so long ago. “I’m sorry. They told me when I was locked up that everyone was gone at The Sanctuary. I believed them. I thought you were dead. I thought our baby…”

“But Negan, I love you,” Y/N whispered, her voice broken when she shakily reached out to touch him. “I’m your wife.”

“You were one of my wives,” Negan corrected her, leaning back on his knees and shaking his head slowly feeling his heart breaking when she started to cry. “You are a past that I wanted to forget Y/N and I did. I moved on. A long time ago. I thought you were dead and I fell in love with someone else. Someone really great. She knows all of me and she still loves me.”

“So did I,” she reminded him with a sob and he felt guilty, dropping his head down when he saw her sliding back on the couch that he had her on. “Why wouldn’t you look for us? You know that I would never give up on you because I loved you so much. We worked so hard to get pregnant with Mia. We were…”

“I know,” Negan interrupted her with a shake of his head, letting out an uncomfortable sound. “I know. I just thought you were dead Y/N and I moved on. And I’m happy. I was happy. And I want to be with my family. I didn’t mean to, but I completely wiped that part of my life out of my head that I shared with you. I didn’t even remember it until I saw your face again the other day for the first time.”

Silence. That was all that was heard other than her cries while she stared out at him, “Mia and I were going to leave to go to Missouri and search for my family. She thought you were dead and you weren’t coming back. We can take a while to get you feeling better and if you want, I can bring the two of you with me. I can wait the extra time and we can all go together.”

“No,” she immediately responded with a shake of her head, reaching for the pillow that was beside her to bring it in closer to her. “I refuse to go on some journey with you so you can find the family that you actually wanted.”

“That’s not fair,” Negan cried, his head tipping to the side while she stared at out him with pain in her expression. “I didn’t know you were alive.”

“You didn’t even bother to look,” she yelled at him causing the color to drain from Negan’s features. “Now you’re asking me to follow you to another state to find the woman you are in love with. So I can what? Watch you and her together for the rest of my life?”

“You’d be safer with me. You and Mia would be much safer with me,” Negan suggested, his eyebrows full of emotion and he let out a tremoring breath. Hearing her sobbing broke his heart, but he couldn’t fix what had already been broken for so long. “Just come with me. We’ll find my family and all of us can be together. Mia is my daughter too and…”

“Oh, fuck you,” she snarled at Negan shaking her head in anger. “You’re in her life for how long and suddenly you think that you can say and determine what I do with Mia? No Negan. That’s not how this shit works.”

“She wants to be with me,” Negan explained, his fists tightening up at his sides with his body clenching up. “She doesn’t even know I’m her father and she wants to come with me. She loves me. She belongs with me.”

“You didn’t even fucking care to look for her,” Y/N snapped back drawing a shuddering exhale from his throat. “So how dare you act like you even care now. Do you have any idea what I’ve done to get back to Mia. What I’ve suffered through? What those people…” she stopped to look down toward the ground and she shook her head. “No, I won’t let you take Mia from me. Not after what happened to me. You won’t take my daughter. Why don’t you just leave Negan.”

“I can’t just leave knowing that you and Mia are here, vulnerable,” Negan reasoned with Y/N hearing her sobs getting harder. “You aren’t healthy. You both need to be protected. Just rest and in a few weeks we can all…”

“Get the fuck out of here Negan,” she screamed at him shoving her hands into the center of his chest drawing him to fall back onto the ground. “I have been heart broken since the moment they took you away. I haven’t been the same since and you just think you can do this?”

“It sounds like you were so fucked up that you were a shitty mother to our daughter,” Negan erupted back on her, shocking her with his response. “You taught her nothing. If I wasn’t here to take care of her in the two months you fucking disappeared, she would have been dead. I kept our daughter alive and she almost…she almost fucking died at one point, but I saved her. And then she tells me that you never even acted like you loved her to begin with. She’s felt more loved in the last month with me than she ever has with you. So why the fuck did you have to show up and ruin it? It would have been fine if you wouldn’t have showed back up!”

“So you get to just show back up in our lives, say fuck you to me and take Mia away from me?” she spoke softly while Negan’s heart pounded away inside of his chest. “So what was I Negan? Just someone you used to get pregnant? You promise me things that you will never give? Did you ever really love me Negan?”

“Of course I did,” Negan replied back with a frown, throwing his hands up in the air. “I did love you Y/N.”

“Like you said, I was just one of the wives though,” she reminded him what he had said earlier and he reached up to shakily brush his hair back. “I was just the only one dumb enough to love you, wasn’t I? To let you get me pregnant.”

“I understand you have to be going through a lot of emotions right now because of everything,” Negan began, the vein at the side of his neck protruding with the tension that he was feeling. “And no matter what I say to you, you’re never gonna believe me because you’re hurt. Regardless of what you think, I did love you and I was happy that you were pregnant.”

“But you found something better,” she filled in the blanks, her head nodding slowly. “I understand. I’m glad you found what you always wanted. I hope it makes you happy.”

“I am happy,” Negan assured her with a nod of his head knowing that what he was telling her absolutely destroyed her. “But I would be a lot happier if you and Mia came with me back to Missouri. You’d be safer. I’d get to be with my daughter. It’s a win for all of us.”

“No, you don’t get to have the best of both worlds,” she denied him, shaking her head and confusing him. “You pick them or her, you can’t have both.”

“That’s not fair,” Negan countered, anger flooding his veins with her giving him an ultimatum. “I don’t want to lose Mia now that she is back in my life. I’m her father. I belong in her life. You know that you both would be safer with me, but you’re mad at me so you’re holding this over my head. Look what happened to you being alone Y/N. Get your head out of your ass and do the right thing. The right thing for you and the right thing for your daughter. The two of you are just going to die here if I leave you. Look at you Y/N.”

“And it’s not fair that you abandon us and then you get to have everything you ever wanted. A family. A wife that you actually love. Two kids. While I have nothing,” she shook her head causing Negan to frown and drop his head back. Dragging his hands down his face had Y/N dropping back against the couch. “I wish you would have just stayed gone. Because at least with me thinking you were dead I thought you died protecting us instead of knowing that we meant nothing to you.”

“If I would have never showed up, your daughter would be dead,” Negan reminded her with a bit of venom in his tone. “Our daughter deserves to know that she’s mine. I’m leaving to go find my family and I’m going to give her a choice. She can stay here with you. Or she can come. She deserves to have a choice.”

“And she will pick you because you’re what’s new. You’re the fun parent that has shown her love that she never felt,” Y/N pointed out with a frown, squeezing the pillow in closer to her. “Thanks Negan. I take over two months of abuse and torture to make it back to my daughter only to have you take her from me. Thank you.”

“It’s not my fault that all of this happened,” Negan stood up from the floor, staring out at her with confusion flooding his veins. “She deserves to know that she’s my daughter. And she has the right to pick who she wants to be with.”

“Great. I’m glad that you are going to go find your family. Your son. Your wife. And you get to have Mia,” she tremored, a long shallow breath falling from her lips. “Congratulations Negan. You got everything you ever wanted in life. Good for you.”

“I suffered too you know. I was in prison for seven years with people abusing me and treating me terrible,” Negan hissed, his eyebrows furrowing in anger when she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Fuck it. If you want to be like that. Be like that.”

“I should have known from the start you never loved me. They all told me,” she laid back down on the couch, turning away from Negan when he stopped to listen to her. “Sherry, Dwight, Simon…even Rick. I just never fucking believed it. I was too in love with you. Or the idea of you, I guess. How happy you got when you found out I was pregnant, I thought you were happy to finally have a family. But it was just the baby you wanted. Not me.”

“That’s not true,” Negan reasoned with her hearing her crying when he attempted to move forward to reach for her again. “Can you please just be an adult about this and understand? It makes more sense for you to leave with me and go to Missouri. We’ll all be together and…”

Negan knew it was no use talking to her like this. It just wasn’t. In the end they were never going to agree. Going over to the other end of the room, Negan sat down and cornered himself. Thinking about things, he rocked back and forth. It took him seeing Y/N’s face for him to actually remember that he had a woman that he was married to that was pregnant when he got taken to Alexandria. Maybe she was right. How could someone who loved someone like that forget?

Looking up toward the stairs, Negan knew that he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Mia, but he knew he had to leave. Grabbing his bag and one of the bag of supplies, he threw it over his shoulder and headed out the door. It was better for everyone if he just left and he knew that.

For a while he walked until he heard the sound of feet trying to catch up to him. Cussing out, he lowered his head and swallowed down hard, “Go home Mia!”

“No,” Mia’s voice responded while she moved in behind Negan. Looking back, he saw that she had the other supplies and her backpack on ready to go on the journey with him. “We made plans, we’re going to Missouri together.”

“Go home!” Negan screamed at her and she immediately shook her head. “Your mother is home now. We made a deal.”

“You promised. You told me that you would never leave me,” she reminded him with a whimper hearing Negan scoff.

“Until your mother returned home,” he reminded her with what he had said. “Your mother is home. Therefore, I owe you nothing. My promise? I made it. So I’m leaving.”

“Please,” Mia begged from where she was standing behind him with the bag over her shoulder. Her eyes were optimistic and she shook her head. “I want to go with you.”

“You are meant to be with your mother,” Negan could see that there were tears swelling up in her eyes while she stared out at Negan. Here she was begging to go with him not even knowing that he was her biological father. And that fact? It tore him apart. “You can’t come with me.”

Turning on his heel, Negan went to leave when he heard her feet following him and he stopped again, “Stop following me!”

“Negan,” she reasoned with him, her bottom lip quivering while she stared up at him. “I…we…I think…”

“You can’t be this stupid, right?” Negan dropped his bag at his side knowing that there was only one way he could think of to get her back to her mother and that was to break her. “I don’t love you, Mia. I don’t. You were a means of keeping me alive. I have no feelings toward you. You told me you cared about me and that you loved me. Did I ever tell you it back? I don’t love you.”

“That’s not true. You wouldn’t have stayed that whole month and a half if you didn’t care about me,” she reasoned with him, her dimples sinking in and it killed Negan seeing that he was breaking her down after his talk with Y/N. “I know you’re just lying to get me to stay here, but with you…I feel safer than I ever have in my life. I love you Negan. Please. I don’t care about anything else. I want to be with you.”

“I don’t want you with me!” Negan screamed at her, his body shaking and his eyes tearing over when she took a step back. Fear flooded into her features as Negan shook his head and bit down on his bottom lip. “You know, your father didn’t die Mia. In fact, your father knew that your mother was pregnant with you and he didn’t care. He didn’t even think about the two of you while he was gone. He just assumed the two of you were dead and he didn’t bother to come looking for you because he didn’t care. You and your mother? The both of you meant nothing to him.”

“That’s not true,�� her voice tremored, her head shaking. “My mother said my father very much wanted me. That he loved me. That he loved her. That he would have done anything to keep me safe and…”

“Then why did he go off and have another family? He got married again and had a little boy,” Negan explained, his eyes narrowing when his jaw tightened. Contemplation started to flood her features when Negan started going off about things. “A little boy he loved more than he loved you.”

“Why are you saying these things?” Negan was hurting her and he could see that his words were breaking her heart. “You told me that I could come with you before. You said…”

“I thought your mom was dead,” Negan reminded her, his bottom lip quivering when he shook his head. “You see Mia. I know your dad isn’t dead because I’m your dad. We both know it. Even those strangers that we ran into knew that you were my daughter. All you have to do is look at us and you know that you’re my daughter. You have my eyes, my dimples, my freckles, my smart-ass sense of humor…”

Negan’s finger circled his own face and then he pointed out at her, “I’m your dad Mia.”

That backfired. After he confirmed for her what they both had wondered before her mother even came back, she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him to hug him. Holding his hands up in the air, Negan swallowed down hard and closed his eyes.

“Get off of me,” Negan demanded, shaking his head while venom flooded into his tone. “I didn’t want you then and I don’t want you now.”

Stumbling back, Mia looked up at him with her hazel eyes full of tears and Negan shook his head, “I knew your mother was pregnant with you. Once I was taken to Alexandria, I never looked back. I didn’t give a shit about the people there. I didn’t give a shit about your mother. And most of all…I didn’t give a fuck about you.”

A hurt sound fell deep from within her and her sobs followed. Even though he was trying to hold it together, he was breaking himself and he hated himself for doing this but he knew that he had to find a way for her to stay with her mother, “I could have come looking for you. And I didn’t. Because I didn’t care Mia. I started a whole new family. I have a son that I love. A wife…”

“Maybe…maybe you could learn to love me,” Mia whimpered, tears sliding down the sides of her face. “I don’t think we can make it without you Negan. I almost didn’t. Daddy please…”

“Don’t call me that,” Negan warned her, holding his finger up in the air and pointing it at her. “Don’t you dare call me that. You have no right to call me your fucking father. I didn’t want it then and I don’t want it now.”

“But you are,” she frowned, reaching up to rub at her tear-stained face while he continued to down talk her and chastise her. “I know you love me. And knowing that you are my dad, that just proves that this was meant to happen. You were meant to find me…”

“I have a son that I actually love and I’m going to find my way back to him,” Negan informed her with a shake of his head and he reached for his bag. This isn’t how he wanted things to go down, but Y/N made things clear earlier. There was no way that she would come with them and if he took Mia, it would destroy her. “I have a family that means something to me. And I’m going to find them. So why don’t you stay with your mother? Someone who actually loves you.”

“Please, I can help you find them,” Mia begged of Negan, her body shaking while Negan tried his best to stop himself from crying, but he couldn’t. “I’d be a really good big sister. I’d…”

“I’ve spent the last month and a half with you Mia,” Negan reminded her of the time they spent together and he shook his head. “And in that time, it only confirmed for me what I knew back then. I feel nothing for you. There is nothing here. You were a mistake. A poorly timed mistake that I never wanted in the first place.”

Calling her a mistake when that was the thing she was the most afraid of hearing hit her deep down and he knew that it would, “Goodbye Mia.”

Her sobs filled the woods and Negan continued walking through them. After a minute, he felt her running out and grabbing a hold of him in attempts to keep him near. Yanking his arm away, Negan spun on his heel and stared down at her, “I don’t want you, Mia. What about that don’t you understand?”

“Then I will sit here. And I’ll wait for one of the flesh eaters to get me,” she whimpered dropping down in the middle of the woods that they were in. “If you don’t want me, I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t like it with my mother. I love you and I want to be with you. Please.”

“I don’t care Mia,” Negan scoffed, grabbing his bag hearing her cries getting louder when he threw his hands up in the air. “If that’s how you want to leave your mother, then that’s your decision. From here on out? You aren’t my problem.”

“Please Negan,” Mia’s voice was broken when he turned away from her to look in the other direction. He had to convince himself to keep going. He couldn’t let this break him. He made his choice and so did Y/N. “Daddy. Please. If you leave, you’re leaving me to die. I’m begging you…”

Walking away, Negan could hear her cries no matter how far away he got. And he had to force himself to keep going. After what her mother told him, there was no way that it would have ever worked. And he had to tell himself that. He had to find Annie and Joshua. There were no other options. Y/N was his past and while he understood why she was hurt, she was the one that denied them going with him. So he had to respect her wishes. The best that he could hope for at this point was that they were able to keep going. That they would find a community and be able to move on.

More than anything he wanted to bring Mia with him, but her mother made it clear that wasn’t a possibility, so he had to wipe that idea from his mind and keep going. No matter how much it broke his heart.

#Negan #The Walking Dead #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan Fanfiction #twd fanfiction #negan x reader #Negan Smith #Dead City #Dead City fanfiction

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mimi-is-so-horny · 4 months ago

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okay, so... you know how sometimes a day starts lovely, and then it goes to shit? and sometimes, you feel like you've done this to yourself? actually, you have done it to yourself. anyway.

i made a point to wake up early today to make Sir and Anna breakfast and to write them a note thanking them for fucking me so well yesterday, and for being pretty much the best thing in my life right now. i felt very grateful and i know i'm very lucky. i think they appreciated that, too.

i blew the candles on my birthday cake naked on Sir's lap - i've been 25 for a couple of days, and i usually hate my birthdays, but Anna insisted we should do the whole birthday thing properly. Sir wrote me a birthday card that almost moved me to tears. He groped my tits as i blew my candles.

for context, i used to want to enter academia in combination to committing to a totally different career path. what i'm doing right now isn't even my Plan C, so of course, i feel a bit like a failure. i'd written a chapter in a book that discussed some recent developments in my field and placed them in a behavioural/institutional context - the book was published this year, and the complimentary copy they sent to authors arrived on my birthday. i should be happy, right? but i feel so defeated, and so dumb, and like this is the first and last good thing i got to do before giving up on my aspirations completely. sure, i'll still apply to enter a more commercial side of my field next year, but that's still just more "sustainable", financially, and more difficult than i thought it would be. all this effort for something i won't really value or enjoy, yuck. and what if i fail, again? anyway. Mimi's whiny ass.

so Sir asked me to read my chapter, and i said yes, sure. He wanted to "see how i think". why not, right?

He fucked me yesterday, and this morning, and at noon, and it felt so good. and now He came to my room, to tell me He read my chapter, and while i felt vulnerable i tried to look cool asking Him what He thought of it.

and He showered me in compliments, and asked me why am i here, and not at a Big Prestigious University™ doing research? i told Him that's why i tried, and the Big Prestigious University™ didn't do shit for Mimi in a post-covid job market where she had to care for her family and couldn't work Prestigious Unpaid Internships™. and still, with no network or real mentors that cared more about guiding me than fucking me, or plagiarising me (lol), my options narrowed. and He knew that, so why was He asking me? and then He asked more questions, and i got increasingly angry and i cried and told Him to leave my room, please. well, at least He did.

so now i have to go downstairs and apologise for lashing out at Him for essentially caring. that was just me projecting - how mad i am at myself for failing, and for giving up, and and for being too lazy to try again - on Him. but i also don't want to do that, because i can only taste how i'm not working in the city i want, and how the people i work for are surprised when i can introduce better corrections than them, and how i am a grown woman that is already bitter about not being where she wanted to be. how i pretend to have given up, when in reality i'm still kind of grieving the people i thought i could be, and realising it can always get worse. am i making myself into a victim: poor-me, poor-me? or am i entitled to my anger and sadness? i don't know, and Sir knows something sad happened to me without my consent, a long while ago - so what if He sees me as a victim, too? am i really that stupid and that passive? what if i'm wasting His time, too?

i don't think i use kink as a coping mechanism or as a distraction; i'm just happy it's an area of my life i'm currently getting exactly what i want, exactly in my own terms and limits - i've rarely gotten that much respect and reciprocity in "vanilla world" - be it work, or education, or friendships. but that fact also makes me sad. why can't i have some of the things i want, sometimes? why was it "Rejection Letter"+"Your Flatmate Lost Your Cat And Now Won't Help Or Speak To You"+"Your Supervisor Wants To Fuck You And He's Angry Now!"+"Your Family Is Asking For Money, Again!!!", and not, like, slightly better? it's hard to feel empowered now. that sad six-year-old is here again, and she wants good stuff i don't know how to give, because i'm out of fucking candy (or, y'know, drugs. because i don't do that shit anymore).

anyway, that will be a difficult conversation. and i feel sorry for Him, for having to deal with me.

well, that was a very self-centred ramble by a fairly self-centred person, so i'm sorry if you read this? but also it was your choice to do so, meh. drink water, wear sunscreen.

#mimi rambles

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thirtysomethingloser92 · 4 months ago

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Ok, hi! I absolutely ADORE and LOVE all of your writing, and I know you're not going to continue Green Eyed World, but I just wanted to know what you had planned for the ending so my anxious ass can finally rest in peace. Would Remy leave his universe to be with the reader? Would they live together happily ever-after or would it be bittersweet? I'm just so curious and I know you're the only person who can answer that ^^'. Anyways, I hope you're doing well <3

Okay so! I’m gonna give you my favourite bits that I wrote for the last few chapters.

Keep in mind none of this has been edited ❤️

Chapter 10:

Remyknocks gently on your door, the familiar sound a small comfort. “Hey,” he calls out when

you open it. “I brought you that sandwich I promised you. Thought you might be hungry after everything.”

You smile, a touch of your usual banter returning despite the emotional toll of the day. “You actually made it? I’m impressed.”

Remy chuckles, stepping inside and holding out the sandwich. “Well, I figured it was the least I could do. Plus, I didn’t want you accusing me of forgetting again.”

You take the sandwich gratefully and start to unwrap it. As you both settle into a light-hearted conversation, the mood lightens. The joking and laughter momentarily distract you from the Heaviness you’ve been feeling.

Eventually, the banter dies down, and a more serious tone fills the room. You take a deep breath, feeling a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability. “Remy, can I ask you a favor?”

He looks at you with genuine concern. “Anything. What’s up?”

You hesitate, struggling to find the right words. “After today... I need to feel something real. Something safe. I know this might sound strange, but... could you stay with me tonight?”

Remy’s expression softens as he processes your request. He closes the door behind him and moves towards the chair by your desk, pulling off his boots. “Sure,” he says, his voice reassuring.

“Just give me a sec.”

He slips into bed beside you, pulling the covers back and settling in behind you. For a moment, he just holds you, hesitating as if searching for the right words.

Finally, he wraps his arms around you, his warmth and presence a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves. “You did amazing today,” he whispers, his voice low and sincere. “I’m so proud of you.”

You close your eyes, letting his embrace envelop you. The comfort of his touch, the steady rhythm of his breathing, and his soft words provide a sense of security you desperately need.

You shift closer, seeking solace in his arms, letting go of the day’s stresses as you drift into a more peaceful state.

In the quiet of the night, you find a semblance of peace, knowing that despite everything, you’re

not alone.

As you lie there wrapped in Remy's embrace, a profound realization begins to settle over you.

Amidst the chaos, the uncertainty, and the emotional turmoil of the past few days, one thing stands out with absolute clarity. In the midst of all the confusion, there’s an undeniable truth: your love for him is real.

The gentle rise and fall of his chest against your back, the warmth of his arms, and the sincerity in his voice when he whispered how proud he was—these things ground you. They remind you that amidst everything else, this feeling you have for him is genuine and unwavering.

You let the sensation of his closeness wash over you, appreciating the tangible reality of his presence. It’s a stark contrast to the abstract challenges you’re facing. As you nestle deeper into his embrace, you hold onto this truth, letting it be a beacon of stability in the ever-shifting landscape of your life.

With each breath, you reaffirm this feeling, understanding that no matter what happens, this love is a constant, something solid and real. It becomes a source of strength, something to hold onto when everything else feels uncertain. In the quiet of the night, you allow yourself to fully embrace this truth, finding comfort and solace in the knowledge that this love, at least, is something real in a world full of chaos.

As you lie in Remy's arms, the weight of the day's events begins to lift, and a deep sense of calm washes over you. Gently, you reach for his hand, which rests across your stomach, and bring it up to your mouth. You press a soft, tender kiss to the back of his hand, letting it linger for a moment before holding it against your chest.

Remy's hand is warm against your skin, a comforting presence that soothes your racing thoughts. You feel him respond with a lazy, affectionate kiss to the back of your head, his arms tightening around you in a protective embrace.

The simple gesture, the closeness, and the warmth create a cocoon of safety that you haven’t felt in a long time. As you drift into a peaceful sleep, the first you've experienced since the chaos with Thanos, you hold onto the tranquility of the moment. Remy’s presence, the gentle pressure of his hand, and the steady rhythm of his breathing provide a sense of security and comfort.

In this serene embrace, you finally let go of the stress and fear that have been your constant companions, finding solace in the knowledge that, at least for tonight, you’re not alone.

The night drifts on peacefully, each breath you take syncing with Remy's, your bodies nestled together as if they were made to fit just so. The usual barrage of thoughts and anxieties that plague your mind every night is mercifully quiet, replaced by the steady beat of his heart against your back.

You stir slightly, still half-asleep, feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest. In the darkness, his presence feels even more profound, like an anchor grounding you to something real, something tangible in a world that often feels like it's slipping through your fingers. Your hand still grips his, pressed to your chest, as if holding on to this moment could make it last forever.

Remy shifts behind you, and you feel his breath warm against your neck as he whispers your name, so softly you’re not sure if you heard it or if it was a dream. You can tell he's still awake, his hold on you tightening just a bit, as if he needs the reassurance that you're really there with him, just as much as you need it from him.

"Y' know," he murmurs, his voice low and rough with sleep, "you ain’t gotta do any of this alone."

His words are gentle, filled with an understanding that cuts through the night, touching something deep within you.

You don’t reply, partly because you’re too tired, and partly because you know he’s right. Instead, you just press yourself closer to him, letting the silence speak for you. Remy’s hand moves from r chest to rest protectively around your waist, and you let yourself sink further into his embrace, feeling more at peace than you have in years. As the minutes stretch into hours, sleep pulls you both deeper into its embrace. The world outside fades into the background, leaving just the two of you, wrapped up in a moment that feels both fleeting and eternal.

Chapter 11:

You stood on the battlefield, the students gathered behind you, ready to fight at a moment's notice. The X-Men stood on guard, a formidable wall of defense, with Remy right by your side.

His presence was more than comforting; it was the only thing grounding you in this moment of uncertainty.

Before you, Kang stood alone. His purple jacket flowed with the wind, hands clasped behind his back, a serene and confident smile playing on his lips.

"I thought he would’ve brought an army," Logan growled, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the solitary figure.

You didn’t break your gaze from Kang, your voice hardening with disgust. "Kang doesn't need an army," you replied, bitterness seeping into your tone. "He has me. It’s always been me."

Beside you, Remy reached out and took your hand, his fingers interlocking with yours. The warmth of his touch contrasted with the cold dread creeping up your spine. When you turned to meet his gaze, his eyes were intense, filled with emotions that words could never convey in such a fleeting moment. His love, his fear, his desperation—all of it was there in the way he looked at you.

"I know," you murmured, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, though the words were as much for you as they were for him.

You reluctantly let go, stepping forward to meet Kang in the middle of the field. His smile widened, pleased at your approach. "I didn’t expect such a large welcoming," he remarked, his tone casual, almost mocking. Though he appeared unassuming, you knew better than to underestimate him. You could feel his power, a dark force that seemed to resonate with something deep within you.

"They’re ready to blast you off this field," you said, your voice steady despite the storm inside you.

Kang spread his arms wide, inviting the challenge. "Let them," he replied smoothly, pausing as he studied you. "But you won’t."

"What do you want?" you demanded quietly, the words laced with suspicion. "It's been you, hasn't it? Those dreams I've been having... you've been planting them."

Kang shook his head slightly, a knowing smile on his lips. "They’re not dreams. They’re memories. Your memories. Of a future you haven’t yet lived."

A frown creased your brow. "How can they be memories when there’s only one of me?"

He wagged a finger at you, teasingly cryptic. "Yes, this is true. But some things must remain close to my chest," he whispered, stepping closer until his face was inches from yours. "Those memories happen. I lay waste to every single person in this school. Every child, every mutant, every human." His gaze drifted over your shoulder, settling on Remy with a dark, deliberate intent. "Your boyfriend will be the last to go. That one, I'll make you watch. Unless..."

He took a step back, giving you a choice. "You come with me."

Your refusal was instant. "No."

Kang smiled, almost as if he expected your answer. "I don’t expect an answer right now. But I’ll be back. This time tomorrow, I’ll be back to get you."

"You sound convinced that I’ll come," you said, your voice firm despite the unease gnawing at you.

"Twenty-four hours is all I need for you to make up your mind," he said, his smile never faltering.

"And you will come."

Chapter 12:

The room was warm, the faint scent of your body wash lingering in the air as you sat on the edge of your bed, one leg propped up on a chair, your fingers working lotion into your skin. Your hair was still damp from the shower, and you were dressed in a pair of comfortable sports shorts and one of Remy’s shirts that hung loosely on you. The fabric carried his scent, wrapping you in a sense of comfort even as your thoughts swirled with everything that had happened earlier.

The door creaked open, and Remy stepped inside. He looked tense, his brow furrowed, and you could see the worry etched into every line of his face. His grey jumper clung to his frame, making him look both effortlessly casual and heartbreakingly handsome. You could tell from the set of his jaw that he was ready to argue, and you braced yourself for what was coming.

"You can't go with him," Remy started, his voice low but insistent. "We’ll fight this, together. You don’t have to—"

You cut him off with a small smile, looking up from your task. "You look really good in that," you said, nodding toward his jumper.

For a moment, he looked taken aback, as if your response was the last thing he expected. His eyes flickered with confusion before they softened, but the tension in his shoulders didn’t ease.

You went back to moisturizing your legs, the simple act grounding you in the midst of the chaos swirling around you both.

"Don’t do this," he continued, his tone pleading now. "You’re talkin’ like you’re already gone. We can fight him, chérie. Together. We’ve fought worse."

You paused, your hands stilling as you considered his words. Then, without looking up, you spoke, your voice calm, almost serene. "I love you," you said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Really, I do. I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long, but there always seems to be chaos. It never feels like the right time."

You closed the lid of the lotion container and leaned back in your chair, your gaze finally lifting to meet his. "This just proves there never is a good time, doesn’t it?" you added with a soft, almost bittersweet smile.

For a moment, Remy just stared at you, the words hanging in the air between you. He seemed stunned, as if he didn’t quite know how to process what you’d just said. Then, slowly, he crouched down in front of you, his hands resting on your thighs. His thumbs began to trace gentle circles into your skin, the warmth of his touch soothing yet filled with an undercurrent of desperation.

"Why now?" he asked quietly, his voice laced with a sadness that tugged at your heart. "Why tell me now when you’re thinkin’ ‘bout goin’? Don’t do this to me, chère. Don’t make me watch you walk away."

You reached out, brushing a hand through his hair, your fingers lingering on his cheek. "Because I don’t want to regret not telling you," you admitted, your voice softening as you looked into his eyes. "I’ve been afraid, Remy. Afraid of what this all means, of what could happen. But I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to leave without you knowing how much you mean to me."

His eyes shimmered with emotion as he leaned into your touch, his breath catching in his throat. "I’ve known, chérie," he murmured, his voice thick. "I’ve always known. But you ain’t leavin’. I ain’t lettin’ you go. We’ll figure this out, just stay with me."

You could see the raw vulnerability in his gaze, the way he was holding on to hope, to you, with everything he had. It broke something inside you, seeing him like this, and yet it made you love him even more.

"I want to stay," you whispered, your thumb brushing over his lips. "But I have to do what’s right. And right now, what’s right feels impossible."

He shook his head, his grip on your thighs tightening as if he could physically hold you here, keep you safe by sheer will alone. "There’s always a way," he insisted, his voice trembling slightly. "We’ve always found a way before, and we’ll find one now. Please, chérie. I can’t lose you."

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them away, leaning down to press your forehead against his. "You won’t lose me," you promised, though you knew the words might be hollow. "I’ll come back to you, I swear."

Remy closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he tried to believe you, tried to hold on to the sliver of hope that your words offered. His hands slid up to your waist, pulling you closer as if he could fuse you to him, keep you anchored in this moment.

"I love you too," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "So much it scares me."

You wrapped your arms around him, holding him as tightly as he held you. In that embrace, time seemed to stand still, the looming threat of tomorrow momentarily forgotten in the warmth of his arms.

But even as you held each other, the weight of what was to come lingered, a shadow that neither of you could fully shake.

Remy’s hands remained on your thighs, his thumbs still gently tracing circles as he held your gaze, searching for something in your eyes. His voice was soft, almost fragile, as he asked, "Do you remember what you told me that night in the cabin? When Wade, Logan, and Vanessa were there, and I was beggin’ you to leave… do you remember what you said?"

You felt your throat tighten, the memory of that night flooding back with vivid clarity. The desperation in his voice, the way he had pleaded with you to walk away, to save yourself from the chaos that surrounded you both. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you nodded slowly, the words tumbling out of you in a whisper, "In every universe, I’ll find you."

His breath hitched, and before you could say anything more, Remy surged forward, capturing your lips in a deep, desperate kiss. It was filled with all the emotions he couldn’t put into words—fear, love, longing, and the overwhelming need to hold on to you, to keep you with him.

You returned the kiss just as fervently, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as if that could somehow make the world outside disappear. His lips moved against yours, speaking a silent plea, a desperate attempt to make you stay, to make you see that he couldn’t bear to lose you.

"Please," he murmured against your lips, his voice trembling with emotion. "Please don’t leave me. I can’t… I can’t do this without you."

Chapter 13:

Kangaroo control over you was absolute, but he underestimated the power of your will and the strength of your love for Remy. Even as you endured the trials he set before you, you remained determined to find a way to return to him. The hope that one day you would be reunited, that the love you shared would be a beacon through the darkness, was your guiding light.

Weeks turned into months as Kang tightened his grip on you, gradually molding you into the weapon he needed to prune timelines and eliminate events that didn't align with his grand vision. The sterile, emotionless halls of his stronghold became your world, the metallic coldness seeping into your bones as time wore on. You were no longer just you; you were a tool, a means to an end in Kang's relentless pursuit of power and control over the multiverse.

At first, you resisted with everything you had. Each time Kang commanded you to alter a timeline or erase a pivotal event, you would argue, plead, or defy him. You challenged him with questions—what right did he have to dictate the course of countless lives, to snuff out entire realities just because they didn’t fit his plans? Your defiance was met with cold indifference or, worse, twisted amusement. Kang would listen to your protests with a slight, condescending smile, as if your resistance was nothing more than a minor inconvenience, a fleeting rebellion that he knew he could crush.

And crush it he did.

Kang was patient, methodical. He knew that breaking you wouldn’t happen overnight, so he chipped away at your resolve, bit by bit. He exposed you to the horrors of unchecked timelines, showing you visions of chaotic futures where unchecked power led to devastation, where the worlds you once knew lay in ruins. He presented these visions as proof of his necessity, as if the atrocities he forced you to commit were somehow justified in the name of a greater good.

The first few times you were forced to prune a timeline, the guilt was unbearable. You would stand on the precipice of a world, staring at the people who lived there, the moments they cherished, and the futures they hoped for. You would see yourself in them—ordinary beings trying to find their place in the universe—and you would feel the weight of what you were about to do. Kang’s cold voice would echo in your mind, urging you to complete the task, to erase these lives as if they were nothing more than glitches in his grand design.

The act of pruning was excruciating, a deep violation of everything you once believed in. You would watch as entire timelines—whole realities full of people, hopes, dreams, and histories— were reduced to nothingness. The first time you pruned a timeline, you collapsed afterward, the enormity of what you had done crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You wept for those lives, for the universes that would never be, and for the person you once were, who would have fought to the death before allowing such an atrocity.

But Kang knew how to erode that person away

Chapter 14:

Remy’s voice, soft and laced with concern, pulls you back to the present. “You hungry? Thirsty? Anything you need?” His question is tentative, like he’s trying to find some way to make you comfortable again, to bring you back to this reality where you’re safe, home, and with the people who care about you.

You look at him, then at the rest of your friends standing around you, their eyes filled with a mixture of hope, worry, and love. You smile softly, trying to reassure them, even as your emotions churn inside you. “I just… I just need a minute,” you say, your voice steady but quiet.

Without waiting for a response, you turn on your heel and walk toward the living room. The familiar space feels both comforting and alien, filled with memories of a life you’ve been disconnected from for so long. You sink down onto the couch, your hands gripping the fabric as if anchoring yourself to something real, something that won’t slip away.

Logan appears in the doorway, his presence a steadying force. He doesn’t rush you, doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he just walks in and takes a seat beside you, giving you the space you need to gather your thoughts. The silence between you is comfortable, a reminder that you don’t always have to fill the void with words.

“It’s okay to take your time with all this,” Logan finally says, his voice low and rough, but gentle.

He looks at you, his expression understanding, patient. “Ain’t no rush to figure it all out. You’ve been through hell.”

You sigh, rubbing your hands together as if trying to warm them. “I don’t feel like I belong here anymore,” you admit, your voice trembling slightly. “Not after everything I’ve done. I don’t even know where to start.”

Logan watches you carefully, his eyes never leaving yours. He’s always been able to see through the bullshit, cutting straight to the heart of the matter. “You belong here, kid,” he says, his tone firm but not unkind. “You think you’re the only one carryin’ around guilt? You think we haven’t all done things we regret?”

You open your mouth to protest, but he holds up a hand, stopping you. “Let me finish,” he insists, his voice softening. “When you were gone, it messed Remy up. The first few months… hell, the first six months, he wouldn’t leave the house. He barely left your room. He was holdin’ on by a thread, waitin’ for you to come back.”

His words hit you like a punch to the gut, the weight of them sinking in as you picture Remy, alone, refusing to leave the space where he felt closest to you. “Then it changed,” Logan continues. “He started avoidin’ the house altogether, doin’ anything to keep busy, to keep his mind off the fact that you weren’t here. But even then… even when he started actin’ normal again, he still wasn’t the same. He was still missin’ you, every day.”

You bite your lip, the guilt gnawing at you. “But it’s not just him,” Logan adds. “Wade and Vanessa—they moved in here. Gave up their apartment. They didn’t want to leave him alone, didn’t want him to fall apart without you. They’ve all been waitin’ for you to come back, hopin’ for it. Those aren’t the actions of people who don’t have your back. They’re with you, through thick and thin, no matter what.”

You nod, swallowing hard as tears prick at your eyes. The weight of their love, their loyalty, presses down on you, making it harder to breathe. You’ve been so focused on your own guilt, your own pain, that you didn’t realize how much your absence affected them—how much they’ve been hurting too.

Logan leans back, his gaze still fixed on you. “Look, you’ve been through a lot. We all have. But that doesn’t mean you don’t belong here. This is your home. We’re your family. And if you’re feelin’ lost, we’ll help you find your way back. But you gotta let us in. Don’t push us away because you’re scared of what you’ve done. We’ve all got blood on our hands, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a chance to make things right.”

You wipe at your eyes, nodding slowly. “I don’t know how to make it right, Logan,” you admit, your voice thick with emotion.

“We’ll figure it out together,” Logan says simply. “One step at a time. But don’t shut yourself off from us. You’re not alone anymore.”

His words sink in, and for the first time since you walked through that door, you feel a glimmer of hope, a tiny spark that maybe, just maybe, you can start to heal. You’ve been through hell, but you’ve also found your way back to the people who matter most. And they’re willing to stand by you, no matter what.

As you and Remy make your way down the hallway to your bedroom, the house feels strangely familiar yet different, like you’re seeing it through the eyes of a stranger. Everything seems both the same and completely new, as if you’ve been gone longer than just a year. The walls hold memories, echoes of conversations and laughter, but now they seem quieter, waiting for you to fill them with life again.

When you reach your bedroom door, Remy hesitates for a moment, glancing at you before opening it. The room is just as you remember it—your things exactly where you left them, your bed neatly made. But there’s something different about it now, something that makes your chest tighten with emotion.

“I’ve been sleeping here,” Remy says quietly, his voice breaking the silence. “But I’ll clean it up for you before tonight. I know you probably want some space.”

You look at him, seeing the weariness in his eyes, the weight of everything he’s been carrying since you left. He’s trying to give you the room you might need, to be respectful of whatever boundaries you might have now. But that’s not what you want. Not at all.

A small, genuine smile forms on your lips as you shake your head. “You don’t need to clean anything up, Remy. You can stay in here as long as you want.” Your words are soft, almost tentative, but the meaning behind them is clear. You’re asking him to stay with you, a silent plea that you hope he understands.

Remy’s eyes widen just a bit, a flicker of surprise passing through them before he nods, the corners of his mouth lifting in a gentle, almost relieved smile. He knows what you’re asking, and he’s not going to make you ask twice.

You move over to your wardrobe, intending to grab some clothes to change into. As you rummage through the hangers, your fingers brush against something soft and familiar. You pull it out and see your old SHIELD jumper, the one you haven’t worn in years. It brings a wave of nostalgia, memories of a time when things were simpler, when the world made a little more sense.

For a moment, you just stand there, holding the jumper in your hands, your mind racing with everything that’s happened since you last wore it. The pain, the loss, the unimaginable choices you had to make. But also the love, the connections that have brought you back here, to this very moment.

You close the wardrobe, holding the jumper close for a second before setting it aside with the clothes you’ve chosen. “I need a shower,” you say, your voice steady but laced with the weight of everything you’ve been through.

Remy watches you closely, his eyes filled with an intensity that makes your heart ache. He doesn’t move, just stands there, as if he’s trying to memorize this moment, trying to etch it into his memory.

“I’ve missed you,” he finally says, his voice low, almost reverent.

Those three simple words hit you harder than you expected, and for a moment, you feel the tears welling up again. You’ve missed him too—missed everything about him. The way he looks at you, the way he’s always there, quietly offering support and love without asking for anything in return.

You nod, swallowing hard as you meet his gaze. “I’ve missed you too, Remy,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, but you know he hears it. He always hears you.

There’s a silence that stretches between you, filled with all the things that don’t need to be said.

You’re both here, you’re both alive, and that’s what matters. The rest—the healing, the rebuilding—will come in time.

Finally, you turn towards the bathroom, your hand brushing against his arm as you pass by him, a silent promise that you’ll be back, that you’re not going anywhere. As you close the door behind you, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, trying to steady yourself as you prepare to face the reality of everything that’s happened.

The water runs warm as you step into the shower, and for the first time in what feels like an eternity, you let yourself relax, if only for a few moments. The water washes away the grime, the tension, the pain, leaving you feeling a little lighter, a little more like yourself.

But even as you try to find peace in the simple act of washing away the past, you can’t help but think about Remy, just on the other side of the door. Waiting. Ready to pick up the pieces with you, no matter how broken they are.

And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, you can find your way back to each other. One step at a time.

Remy paces the hallway outside the bathroom, his fingers drumming anxiously against his thighs as he listens to the muffled sounds coming from behind the closed door. The running water of the shower mixes with the quiet sobs, a stark reminder of all that’s been lost and all that’s been endured. He wants nothing more than to burst in there, to hold you and offer whatever comfort he can. But he knows, deep down, that you need space right now. You’ll come to him when you’re ready.

Chapter 15:

The sun dips below the horizon, the first stars begin to twinkle in the sky. The moment is serene, filled with a sense of calm that you all have longed for.

As the sky deepens into twilight, the atmosphere on the balcony shifts to one of quiet reflection.

Remy finishes his cigarette, tossing the butt into the ashtray with a soft clink. He stretches out his legs, sitting closer to you and Vanessa, the warmth of his presence a comforting anchor.

Vanessa, always perceptive, reaches out and places a hand on your arm. “It’s good to see you smiling again,” she says, her voice gentle. “We’ve all missed you.”

You smile at her, grateful for her support. “I’ve missed you all too,” you admit, your voice soft but filled with sincerity. “And I appreciate you being here, through everything.”

Wade, ever the source of levity, interjects with a playful grin. “So, what’s next on the agenda? Do we get to pick out some new adventures, or are we just going to sit around and enjoy the view?”

Logan chuckles, shaking his head. “Maybe we’ll just focus on making sure this place stays as peaceful as it is now,” he suggests, his tone a mix of practicality and hope.

The conversation drifts to lighter topics, the camaraderie between you all easing the lingering tension. As you listen to the banter, you feel a renewed sense of belonging. The feeling of home, once so elusive, now wraps around you like a warm embrace.

Remy leans over and takes your hand, his fingers entwining with yours. “How about we just take it one day at a time?” he proposes, his gaze steady and filled with love. “I’ve got you back, and that’s what matters right now.” You nod, squeezing his hand gently.

“That sounds perfect.”

The evening stretches on, filled with laughter, stories, and the simple joy of being together. As the stars fully emerge and the night settles in, you feel a deep sense of contentment. The battles of the past seem a little lighter, the uncertainties of the future a little less daunting.

You roll your eyes, but there’s a warm smile tugging at your lips. “Oh, and FYI. Next time you fuck up my morning and ask me to take a random trip to the void to pull out some friends, I’ll kill you.”

Wade’s grin widens as he lounges casually, his hands behind his head. “To be fair, I think I’ve earned some brownie points for convincing you to rescue th he man who becomes the love of your life. You’re welcome.”

Remy chuckles beside you, his hand still intertwined with yours. “Yeah, Wade, you’re definitely on thin ice, but I’ll give you this—without you, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Logan nods in agreement, a rare smile on his face. “Just don’t make it a habit, Wade. We’ve had enough chaos for a while.”

Wade’s eyes twinkle with mischief. “Hey, it’s all part of the grand adventure, right? Besides, it worked out, didn’t it?”

The group laughs, the tension of past events melting away under the shared camaraderie. As the ht deepens, the sense of togetherness strengthens, and you can’t help but feel a deep appreciation for the people who’ve stood by you through it all

#marvel #remy lebeau x reader #gambit x reader #reader

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slayfics · 1 year ago

Text

Denki forces you to take a day off.

You lazily brushed your hair and went through your normal morning routine on autopilot. Everything was taking you twice as long as your head felt hazy and your throat raspy.

The smell of coffee alerted Denki that you were awake and attempting to get ready for the day.

Denki gently pushed the bathroom door open, his eyes locking with yours in the mirror as you continued to brush your hair.

"What are you doing?" He asked in a sing-songy voice.

"What does it look like? I'm getting ready for work," you said, not recognizing your own voice that was hoarse and laced with sickness.

"Oh no- no way I'm letting you step outside of this house like this. Get your cute ass back to bed," he said leaning against the door frame.

"I don't even feel that bad, I can push through it for one day," You said, setting your brush down and making your way over to him. Denki stayed firmly planted in the doorway.

"Move, I got to get my coffee," You said stubbornly.

"Make me," He chuckled, enticing you to push him out of the way. "Hey, hey relax!" He said, raising his arms as you tried to move him. But you were relentless and kept trying to push past him.

"Careful, I'll zap you," He chuckled at your weakened strength. "I can tell you're not feeling good, you're abnormally weaker than me today."

"I'm fine! Just a little under the weather, nothing I can't ignore." You said, giving up on pushing him out of the way.

"You work wayyyyy too hard, you know that?" He said, looking down at you with a playful smile still on his face. You knew this argument was far from over.

"And you don't take work seriously enough," You said, irritated at him slowing down your morning routine.

"Yeah, that's why we have each other. We balance each other out. Now come here," He said, gently placing the back of his hand against your forehead. "Holy shit- you're actually burning up. I'm not joking anymore, go back to bed babe," he said, his demeanor changing from playful to serious.

"I told you I'll be fine. I can't just not go. I have a lot of people counting on me," you said, still not giving in to calling out sick.

"Yeah, they are counting on you not to get them sick!" He responded, making you look down, averting his gaze. You knew he had a good point, but you still couldn't accept it. "Hey, come here," He said, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you into a hug. "You work soooo hard, and hardly ever call out. Believe me, everyone will be ok for a day. You need to rest," he spoke and placed a kiss on the top of your head.

You let out a heavy sigh and allowed yourself to melt into his chest.

"Fine, but just for today. I'm going back tomorrow no matter what you say!" You spoke stubbornly in your strained voice

Denki laughed, "One day at a time ok? I can't lie though, you do kind of sound adorable all sick like that," he teased.

"Shut up," you said, smacking his arm playfully.

"Fine fine, back to bed though ok," He said finally moving from the door frame and following you back to your shared bedroom.

You crawled back into bed and sent a text to your work. "There it's all taken care of. Happy?" You asked him as he wiggled into bed next to you.

"Extremely," he said, cuddling you.

"What are you doing? You still have to go to work," You said, trying to shove him out of the bed a bit.

"No way, gonna stay home and take care of you," He said, kissing the top of your head again.

"You're going to get yourself sick," you warned him.

"Then we'll be sick together. We'll take a nice little nap, and I'll make some tea and breakfast when we get up. Then I'm forcing you to take it easy. We can watch some movies or something."

"You're more stubborn than me, you know that?" You laughed and gave in to his cuddles.

"I got to be, to make sure you take the breaks you deserve. Now get some sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up," He said, squeezing you just a bit tighter as you dozed back off into sleep.

Wrote this when I had to stay home with a silly cold. I just wanted Denki to take care of me 😩~ (I am healthy now)

Tags: @unofficialmuilover

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txtdiaries · 2 months ago

Text

citrus and dark water

muse: choi soobin

setting: modern, non-kpop au, slice of life

word count: 836

a/n: .... hi. uh. here's something I wrote because Soobin was on my brain today. i also didn't proof this but, enjoy!!

“Choi Soobin, are you in there trying to balance shampoo bottles on your head again?”

You press your ear to the thick oak separating you and your husband, the sound of spraying water and suspicious movement making your ears prick. Soobin takes showers no shorter than forty minutes every damn time, but even this was a bit much for him. He hadn’t even sung yet. Is he… okay?

You can’t hear him moving around in the shower or anything, which makes you worry. Thanks to your obsessive, intrusive, and chaotic brain, you’re sure after a few more minutes that Soobin is actually drowning 21 ½ inches deep in the porcelain Clawfoot; or passed out cold on black and white hexagon mosaic tile; or — god forbid — actually, like, fucking injured. Soobin is clumsy on the best of days. That stature of his has gotten him into many a situation and this — this is exactly why you’re worried.

But still. You knock, and nothing.

“Soobin?” You call again, your knocks more feverish after a moment. “Choi Soobin… I do not care if your bare ass is out, if you don’t answer me in under fifteen seconds I will pick this lock using the pocket knife you keep in your Levi’s that you think I don’t know about.”

You think you hear a sudden thud behind the door. Water dripping. And then:

“Soob—fuck!” You screech, coming face to face with your beanstalk of a husband, hair damp and fully dressed.

“Soobin,” you glare. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What was that about my pocket knife?” Your husband asks, lips curling up into a half smile. The air in the bathroom is humid, and heat curls its way out through the doorway, tickling your face. It smells like citrus and something masculine in here. Dark. Musky. Something so distinctly Soobin that it makes your chest clench with familiarity. Soobin quirks a brow now. “I keep telling you I can buy you a matching knife if you really want one that bad.”

“What were you doing in there,” you ask, tone accusatory. “Seeing how long you can hold your breath again—”

“Because if you really are serious about it, I think a pink knife would be cute—”

“I seriously expected to come in and see you asleep on the ground again just like when Yeonjun got you blackout drunk—”

“Or maybe purple. Or blue! Blue would be a nice color for a knife—”

“I know you like to listen to music but jesus fuck Soob, I thought you were going to—”

“I’d just be worried that you’d—”

“Injure yourself!” You both finish at once, eyeing each other suspiciously. You take a deep breath afterward, trying to steady your beating heart. Of course, Soobin is fine. Because Soobin is always fine. This fact alone does nothing for your anxiety.

“I was trimming my hair,” Soobin finally tells you after a few seconds. He angles his long, slim frame a bit to let you see past. In the sink, sure enough, tufts of his honey-brown hair lie dormant. You blink once. Twice. Oh.

“I had my earphones in so I didn’t hear you knocking,” he finishes, reaching out to twist a finger around one of your strands now. He tugs playfully on it. “Figured I should look nice for the lunch.”

“I—heard water,” you say, leaning into his touch. Soobin nods. “I was shaving too. You probably heard the tail end of it, baby.”

You hum and suddenly feel goosebumps trail across your skin. The hot air from the warm tap is fading now, leaving a chill in its wake. “It’s snowing out,” you tell Soobin matter-of-factly, watching as he steps back to tap some aftershave onto his angular jawline.

“I’ll wear a coat. Are you wearing that?”

You hum and look down at your cashmere Burberry. It was a gift from the man standing in front of you, threaded with the finest materials and in the color he loves to see you in the most: a rich, classy blue. When you meet his eyes again, he’s back to smiling.

“Good, you look beautiful. We’re meeting your parents at noon, right?”

“Right,” you say. Soobin finishes at the sink, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek before ruffling your hair a bit.

“Okay, baby. Let’s go then, yeah?”

And then the anxiety from earlier is gone entirely. Instead, Soobin holds your hand, leads you out through your living room, and out of your home to the parked red Mini he’s so fond of driving, even if it’s not his.

And you have the sudden, glaring reminder that this is your life. Winter lunches with your husband and family. A man who is so soft and attentive with you, that he knows how to soothe those horrible thoughts of yours in an instant. A life so full of love, you aren’t exactly sure how you got this lucky.

But it doesn’t matter. Because it’s yours. And it always will be.

#kpop #txt #tomorrow x together au #choi soobin #soobin #tomorrow x together #tomorrowxtogether #txtfic #txtau #alternate universe #txtdiaries #soobin au #soobin scenarios #soobin imagines #soobin fluff #choi soobin scenario #choi soobin au #choi soobin fluff #choi soobin imagine

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yujinslovr · 1 year ago

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shadows - vampire!choi yena x fem!reader

warnings: smut, cunnilingus, uhh blood sucking??

genre: smut w a bit of plot

synopsis: you didn't know what it was about this unfamiliar girl that drew you in so much.

a/n: pls ignore any mistakes, i wrote this at 4am while halfasleep😭😭 also tbh i rly wsnt gonna write smut abt yena bcz shes my baby wabey but i like saw it, it was a vision and i had to write it😞😞

word count: 1,521

an unfamiliar face, one that you hadn’t seen in all your years of living in this small town. not only unfamiliar, but unusual the bright red of her eyes shone under the dim light of the bar she leaned against. you wondered why one would come here wearing red contacts of all things, or come here in general. no one ever moved here, everyone was always longing to leave, this town where everyone knew each other, this town where nothing good ever occurred. this town that tourists avoided, this town that everyone in south korea avoided, this haunted town that you grew up in.

you usually never came to places like these, never liking the loud music nor the sweaty bodies that would come into contact with you. but today was your birthday, and not allowing you to stay home and watch netflix for this event. your friends had dragged you out of your apartment, forcing you to go out clubbing with them. usually you’d deny them, but tonight they had been much more insistent and you eventually caved.

“who is she? i’ve never seen her before.” you elbowed your friend, gesturing your head towards the unfamiliar girl.

your friend, hyewon, responded with a shrug of her shoulders. she had never seen this girl, never in this club and never out of this club. “why? wanna take her home?” hyewon teased. when you didn't respond, only flushed her eyes widened.

“actually?!” with this newfound information she rushed over to your other friends and relayed the information.

they all started cheering, minju pushing you in the girls direction, knowing you’d never make a move. much to your luck, minju’s push had been hard enough to send you falling over in front of her. the mysterious girl, seeing this quickly reached out and caught you in her arms.

“falling for me already?” she asked, a cheeky smile spread on her beautiful face. you couldn't help but take a moment to roam your eyes over her face, taking in her beauty.

“s-sorry,” you stuttered out, quickly breaking free of her arms and standing straight on your own two feet.

you tried not to, but the challenge of keeping your eyes on hers and not her cute duck lips was proving to be an issue. reading her lips but not registering her voice let out an ‘it’s all good’. you couldn't help the blush on your face at the way her lips would stick out when she spoke. you wondered how they’d feel on your own.

seeing that your gaze was fixed on her lips she let out a chuckle “can i get you a drink?” she questioned. with your gaze still on her lips, imagining them dragging along your skin you nodded. “my eyes aren't that low, you know.” she said, a smug smirk on her face. you immediately lowered your gaze to the floor as you grew even redder. who was this girl and how was she invoking this unfamiliar feeling in you?

she grabbed your chin, tilting your head up, your eyes now meeting hers. she slowly leaned in, her lips meeting your waiting ones. unlike all your other ones, this kiss wasn't at all soft nor slow. It was fast, messy and desperate. her hands roaming your body before settling on your ass, squeezing, eliciting a moan from you. she took this moan as an opportunity to have her tongue enter your mouth, exploring the depths of it. you could taste the cherry of her chapstick and the faint taste of whiskey that lingered in her mouth, no doubt from her previous drink. you were never one to have one night stands, in fact this was going to be your first one. you much rather preferred to be in a stable relationship before having sex. but something about this girl made you want to give yourself up to her.

“let’s go to your place?” she asked, breaking away from the kiss to talk.

“okay, let me just go get my things then we can go.” with one last kiss she let go of you, to walk back over to where your friends were to get your purse.

“uh guys i'm gonna go now, kay?” minju whistled hearing this, the rest of them cheering and making comments on what you were gonna do. you rolled your eyes and walked back over to the girl whose name you realized you still didn't know.

“im y/n” you said, finally introducing yourself after you told the taxi driver your address. “yena.” she said before pulling you onto her lap and reattaching her lips to yours. the drive to your house went by in a blur, you two spending the whole time making out and groping each other. you two entered your house in the same manner, you struggling to punch the code in while she kissed your neck from behind.

you led her to your room, her lips not leaving yours for a second. when you reached the foot of your bed she pushed you onto it, then crawled on top of you, settling on your abdomen. she leaned down and began biting and sucking at your skin, maybe if you had been a bit more sober you would have questioned the stinging pain in your neck. how she stayed at the same spot on your neck for a bit too long. but alas you didn't think twice about why there was a sudden pain in your neck, her hands that were massaging your breasts thoroughly distracting you.

she stopped for a moment, ridding you of all your clothes before going to your chest to start her sucking and licking there. maybe if you paid more attention, you’d have found it weird that she never undressed. but the way she circled her tongue around your nipple, not a thought was able to be formed in your mind. you couldn't focus on anything other than the wonders her tongue was doing.

“mmh y-yena, please.” you moaned out, desperately wishing for her to continue what she was doing except lower

“please what? tell me what you want, baby.” she said, coming up to plant a kiss on your lips

“p-please just fuck me already.” you whined out, tired of her teasing.

hearing this, a huge smile planted itself on yena’s face as she went lower and towards your bare pussy. she let out a breath, causing a shiver to erupt all throughout your body, pushing your hips into her face. she held your hips down and used both of her thumbs to open up your lips, getting a good look at your exposed pussy. she extended her tongue and licked a stripe up your core, stopping at your clit to suck. the moans that left your mouth consisted of curses of her name, you could just hope that your neighbors were out for the night.

she ate you out as if she had been starved for days, the way the wet muscle had entered and exited you bringing you closer to euphoria. you couldn't control the noises that exited your mouth if you wanted to, you didn't want to control them though. you wanted her to know that it was her who was making you feel this way. the way her tongue caressed your walls as she reached it farther than you thought it was possible for a tongue to reach was heavenly.

the same went for her though, your sweet taste on her tongue and the way you clenched around her was almost enough to get her off. your moans turned yena on more than she’d like to admit, your pretty voice screaming her name. feeling your walls tighten around her she reached a hand up to grab one of your breasts. she rolled your nipple in between her fingers and that was it for you. you couldn't hold it in any longer, letting go and cumming onto her tongue. she lapped up your juices, cleaning you up until you pushed her head away slightly, the pain of overstimulation catching up to you and outweighing the pleasure.

she got up from in between your legs and leaned down to kiss your lips, shoving her tongue into your mouth letting you get a taste of yourself. you let out a moan into her mouth as you sloppily kissed back, tired after what had just transpired between the two of you. when oxygen became a problem, she pulled away and laid down next to you. your eyes felt heavy, immediately falling into a deep slumber.

when you opened your eyes the next morning, she was gone. and so was any trace that she had ever been there. the hickeys she left on you being the only proof she was ever there, along with two mysterious holes on your neck. it looked almost as if you’d been bitten, by what you had no idea.

almost as if she never existed to begin with, after that night she was never to be seen again by you. from the shadows she had come and to the shadows she had returned.

#yujinslovr #choi yena #izone #choi yena x reader #yena x reader #smut #yena x fem!reader #izone smut #vampire #vampire x reader #izone imagines #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop gg #girl group #vampire x human #izone x reader

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beardedjoel · 2 years ago

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closer | part nine

joel x f!reader. non-apocalypse au

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3

chapter summary: your friend sofia is visiting austin, and she drags you out for drinks and dancing, where you have some unexpected surprises in the form of joel. 12.8k words.

chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), soft!dom joel, oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, squirting, dirty talk, praise kink, reader being cute and teasing joel a bunch, joel is so insanely boyfriend this chapter it actually fucking hurts

a/n: this is probably one of my favorite chapters i wrote! it’s a lengthy one too so hope you all enjoy the sofia and joel shenanigans ♡

You’re very deliberately letting Joel come to you tonight. After his promise earlier today, you want to see what he’ll do, how far he’ll go. The thought of all the possibilities alone has your head spinning and heart pounding.

Now all that’s left to do is wait, to anticipate, unsure of when he’ll make good on his word and come take what he wants from you. You put on a gorgeous, silky lace trimmed powder blue slip that barely covers your ass and tits, leaving practically nothing to the imagination.

You get in bed, thinking if you just pretend to sleep, it’ll come to you more quickly. You want Joel to come in and see you sleeping innocently, maybe seemingly forgetting about what he promised you today. You bet it would rile him up even more, and the thought makes you laugh and then shiver slightly. But he should know better that you wouldn’t forget that when the promise of his cock being inside you is involved.

You don’t know when you fell asleep, but the next thing you know, your eyes flutter open gently and you know it’s been hours. All night, actually. The pale dawn light is streaming in through your shades, signaling the start of a new day. You stretch a little, rolling over before everything from last night comes back to you, hitting you hard right in the gut.

Joel never came.

The disappointment sinks deep into your stomach, leaving a swirling, nauseous sensation. You try not to get too caught up in it, but your mind is immediately latching onto all the possibilities, most of them making your heart sink further. It’s entirely possible you had read him wrong, that what he said wasn’t a promise to come over at all. You cling onto the hope that it’s something easily explainable that you can hear about the next time you see him. You reach for your phone, seeing he hadn’t messaged you at all last night. Your fingers twitch over your phone screen, feeling desperate to reach out and make sure everything is alright.

A frantic, solid knock on your door gets your attention, and you slide out of bed, rolling your eyes as you catch a glimpse of your slip out in your periphery. You’d even gone so far as to dress up for him, and you feel completely foolish for it.

You whip open your door, and Joel is standing there, looking haggard. He seems out of breath, like he rushed over here. His mouth is open to speak, but his eyes move back and forth from your face to your slip several times before he shuts it, sighing.

“Oh, sweet girl, I’m so sorry,” he spills out, reaching forward and grabbing your face. You immediately usher him inside, not wanting to accidentally be seen by your parents. You try to fight the urge to completely give in to him the second he touches you, wanting to understand his absence from last night first. His warm, strong hands holding you so desperately is making it so fucking difficult, though. You don’t respond, don’t touch him back, as he pulls you into him.

“It was Tommy, I’m so sorry,” he says.

“Is Tommy okay?” you ask, concerned. The tension in his voice and mention of his brother immediately snaps you out of your frustration at him.

“Yeah, it’s nothin’ like that. He needed to get bailed out… again,” Joel says, sounding exasperated. “That’s why I didn’t come last night, all of it took longer than normal. Fightin’ with the fuckin’ officers since he’s been in more than a few times the last few years. All of it got so… out of hand.” He sighs, melting into you as you finally reach up around him and hug him back.

“I’m sorry, Joel. That sounds like an awful night,” you reply, feeling a wave of relief for yourself rush through you, and one of worry for Tommy. “Everything’s alright now, though?”

“Yeah, bastard’s back home, no thanks to himself,” Joel says, lingering frustration lacing his tone. “Swear, one of these days, he’s gonna have to deal with it on his own. That’s enough about that though,” he says, leaning back to grab the sides of your cheeks and look down at you. His eyes look tired, almost hurt as they search yours for any clue as to how you’re feeling. “I should’ve texted to let you know, too. I was so damn mad I just couldn’t even think straight, if I’m bein’ honest. I’m sorry, darlin’,” Joel adds, as if reading your mind. That question had been on the tip of your tongue, wondering why he hadn’t just messaged you to fill you in.

“That’s okay, Joel, it’s really alright,” you assure him, touching your hand to his. “That’s the only reason you didn’t come, though? All that stuff with Tommy?” you ask, biting the inside of your lip nervously after you ask.

“Of course, baby. Why else wouldn’t I come?” Joel tilts his head in concern, eyes still glued onto yours.

“I just… wasn’t sure. I was worried I’d read too much into it.”

“If you don’t think I'd rather have been here all night doin’ everything I planned to do to you, you’re out of your damn mind,” Joel says, a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips.

“Planned to do to me?” you echo, furrowing your brow with curiosity.

“You have no idea…” he sighs, stroking your cheek. “I have a lot to make up to you.” He leans down and brushes his lips onto yours, kissing you lightly for a few moments.

The confirmation from Joel that he had wanted to be here last night lifts the weight off your chest that had been there since you woke up and realized he wasn’t there with you. You finally crack a little smile, and it looks like his own expression lightens.

“I don’t think making it up to me will be a problem,” you tease, running a hand lightly down his chest, and Joel chuckles.

“Tonight?” he asks eagerly.

You wince a little, then press your lips together and sigh. “My friend from Chicago is coming today, I have to pick her up in a few hours, and she’ll be here all weekend,” you tell him.

Joel considers this new information for a few moments, his hands tracing along your hips and back. “You excited to see her?”

You nod, unable to help the smile spreading across your face. “I am, yeah. This is my closest friend for the entire time I lived there. We even lived together for a bit.”

He now seems to be smiling for your sake. “That’s great,” he says, looking excited for you. “I bet you’ll have a good time together, then.”

“She’s practically the opposite of me, totally outgoing and crazy, so we always end up finding something fun to do when she’s in charge,” you say, laughing a little.

“You sayin’ you aint fun?” Joel chides, pulling his brows together. “I think you’re plenty fun,” he says, pulling you close to him again so that your bodies are flush with each other.

“Oh, you think so, huh?” you tease, feeling a flirtatious smile tug at your lips.

Joel nods, bringing his lips close to you, brushing against your cheek, then making his way down to your neck. He places a few light kisses downwards towards your collarbone.

“Can’t make it up to you tonight, but I can certainly give you a little taste right now,” he murmurs close to your ear. You feel your body immediately melt into his, pressing into his solid body, feeling the warmth radiating off of him.

“I was just about to take a shower…” you say as an invitation, your voice going low with the desire suddenly flowing through you. Joel answers by picking you up from underneath, carrying you into your bathroom before setting you on the counter, letting your legs straddle his body as he pushes in between them.

“You even wore all your pretty stuff for me, huh?” he says, looking down at your slip and examining it more closely, running a finger along the lace trim at the top, dangerously close to your nipples. You inhale sharply as he brushes over them in the process, and he catches his eyes on yours. “Such a shame I didn’t get to play with you all night wearin’ this…” he breathes out with a shake of his head. He pushes the slip all the way up your legs and marvels at the matching thong you’re wearing.

“I’m gonna kill my brother,” he says sternly before hooking his fingers into the straps of your underwear and tugging down - you lift your hips to help him and he promptly tosses your panties on the floor. He tugs your hips to the edge of the counter and kneels before you, sinking his mouth between your legs and tasting you. His tongue licks a stripe up your slit and you push your hips into it, the first few touches of his mouth feeling like absolute heaven. You breathe out a moan and Joel makes an appreciative noise in response to you.

“Fuckin’ wet already, sweet girl,” he says quietly, pulling his mouth off of you for a moment.

“I was waiting for you all night, of course I’m wet,” you say plainly, and Joel smirks up at you, a fire igniting behind his eyes.

“Never gonna hear the end of this, am I?” he asks before leaning down to flick your clit with his tongue in a few, quick strokes. Your hips tense and move into it, but you try to keep your composure to mess with him.

You laugh a little and then shake your head. “We’ll see,” you tease him, “Depends on how well you make it up to me.”

Much to your dismay, Joel stops moving his tongue immediately, then brings his gaze back up to your face, the look in his eyes completely devilish now. “Oh, really? You gonna be a little brat again when I’ve got my mouth between your legs, about to make you come? I could stop at any time, y’know.” He swipes a finger through your slit to tease you, adding to the effect of his words.

You lick your lips and inhale slowly, considering your options. The ache between your legs from his few touches is already almost unbearable, pulsing with need for him to continue.

“N-no, don’t stop,” you say, whisper-quiet, and Joel’s brow arches.

“What was that?” he asks, fingers now teasingly tracing around the outside of your pussy.

“I said don’t stop.” You force your voice a bit louder, closing your eyes as he glides one of his fingers over your clit.

“Good girls say ‘please’, don’t they?” he says, every word laced with the gorgeous, commanding bite that you’ve grown to adore and crave from him.

“P-please,” you say, swallowing hard. “Please don’t stop, Joel.”

“That’s what I thought,” he drawls, teasing your clit once more. “Really needed to teach you that lesson last night, didn’t I?”

His mouth is back on you, and you can only nod in response as he licks in strokes along your cunt, long and drawn out. You whimper, wanting to feel more, and he continues to draw this painful pleasure out of you, dipping his tongue in and out of your entrance and tasting you deeply. His tongue flicks along your slit, landing on your clit before his entire mouth sucks on the bundle of nerves there. You cry out, hands gripping the edge of the counter as he sucks even harder. You almost can’t breathe, the sensation is so strong and he’s not letting up. You grip the back of his head, fingers sinking into his hair, when he releases you and your breath catches in your throat, hips rocking forward with the sudden absence of his mouth. He slides his tongue in tight circles around your clit, bringing out the warm, spreading feeling of a building climax inside your core. Your body is tensing into it already, on the cusp of something so fucking incredible that only Joel can bring out of you, when his lips close again and suck mercilessly.

You cry out loudly, moaning as your grip on his hair tightens, making sure his head doesn’t move an inch from where he’s currently uprooting your entire world. Everything tenses and explodes at once, your hips pushing into his mouth as you tremble, the waves of pleasure hitting you over and over before you can finally relax back slightly, steading your breathing.

Joel stands, placing his hands on your thighs and leaning forward to plant a kiss on your forehead. “”Off to the shower with you,” he says.

“You’re not joining me?” you ask, blinking in your post-orgasm stupor, confusion written on your face now.

“I’m already pushin’ it with time, I gotta get to work, baby,” he says apologetically, and you frown, disappointed that this short time was all you got to spend with him after the let down of last night.

“Oh, alright,” you mumble, biting the inside of your lip again.

“I know you’re upset, I’m sorry, darlin’. I promised I’d make it all up to you, though. You trust me?”

You nod, a small smile cracking through the frustration you’re feeling. “Yeah, I trust you.”

“Good,” he says, kissing your lips quickly. “Give it a few days, and when you’re free again you’ll forget this even happened.” He winks, and you roll your eyes, despite the little flutter it gives you.

When he leaves, you sit on the counter for a few more minutes, silently processing the entirety of this morning and last night. You’re unable to feel anything but warmth for the man who’d rushed over here to apologize to you as soon as he could, and then shown that apology by pulling yet another earth shattering orgasm out of you and promising to do better, to make things up to you. You almost wish you could just be angry at him for anything at all, it would certainly be easier than whatever the hell these emotions you’re having right now are.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you sigh, hugging Sofia again as you enter your apartment.

She arrived a few hours after Joel left this morning, and you picked her up from the airport, eagerly waiting for her outside her terminal before she ran into your arms like you were two lovers that had been separated for years. She’s always had a flair for the dramatic, but it’s part of what you love about her. Sofia knows how to see the good in most situations, and she’s one of the most loyal people you know. You couldn’t be seeing her at a better time, as you’re starting to get completely consumed by everything going on with Joel. You just really need a friend like her here to help you process the complex feelings that have been swirling through your mind recently.

She returns the hug and chuckles a bit into your ear. “Struggling that bad, huh?” she asks, pulling away from your embrace. You both sit down on your bed, pulling your legs underneath you and getting comfortable.

“It’s not even that, I’m just like this crazy, obsessed girl, and you know I’m not like that ever,” you tell her. Sofia ponders it with a thoughtful look and then nods her head.

“I can’t say I’ve ever seen you obsessing over any guy, until now,” she smirks. Sofia loves this kind of thing - she’s absolutely enjoying your escapades with Joel a little too much, you think. She’s usually the one filling you in on her sexual adventures with people, not the other way around.

“I know, and I hate it. I feel pathetic,” you groan, falling back into the bed dramatically.

“Okay, pathetic or not, you know I’m here for it. I haven’t heard any updates for a little bit, so…” she trails off, looking over at you expectantly. You haven’t said anything, pressing your lips together tightly, giving her an innocent look. “Come on, you know I’m asking if you guys fucked yet.”

You sit back up and nod slightly, biting your lip, and she goes crazy. “Oh my god! Okay and? Tell me everything.”

“Okay, I’m not giving you every single detail, Jesus. But yeah, it was pretty much the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Sofia groans. “Ughhh, why aren’t I having the best sex ever with my sexy, forbidden, older neighbor? Count your blessings,” she shakes her head, eyes wide. You both start laughing, clutching your bellies.

“Your time will come, Soph. And I’ll be there to guide you.”

“Okay, so you two have done the deed. And it was amazing? Tell me just a little more. C’mon, I haven’t hardly gotten a peep out of you about this yet.” She crosses her arms, waiting for you to answer. Her light brown eyes bore into yours and you can’t resist the desperate plea for information that’s behind them.

“Fine,” you sigh, and she squeals, clasping her hands together. “We’ve… done it a couple of times. Lots of other hand and mouth stuff before that. He eats me out like it’s his last fucking meal, is known to give a good spanking, uh, what else…” you trail off, trying to overload her with information, and her jaw hangs open, rarely hearing this much brazen information from you about any of your sexual encounters. ”He just makes me do and feel crazy stuff,” you conclude, trying to shrug casually despite knowing the wild knowledge you’re dropping on her.

Sofia simply shakes her head, mouth hanging open as she processes the information. “You two are little fucking freaks, you know that? God, I envy you right now.”

“Sofia, you honestly fuck more than anyone I know, how are you jealous?”

“I’m in a little dry spell, okay? I haven’t had any… relations for over a month.”

“A whole month, heaven forbid,” you tease her, putting the back of your hand to your forehead, acting dramatically faint.

She laughs loudly and pushes you hard. “Shut up, I’m desperate,” she replies. “It’s your turn to be the crazy sexual one now, so wear the crown with honor.”

You roll your eyes but placate her with a regal bow of your head. “Come on, let’s go shopping,” you say, and she perks up immediately, jumping off the bed and completely forgetting about her so-called ‘dry spell’.

Sofia catches up with your parents for a few minutes, having met them when they came to visit you in Chicago, before you let them know where you’re going and head out. Sofia is eyeing Joel’s house curiously as you pull out of the driveway.

“Yes, that’s his house, the one with the big porch,” you grumble, and she can’t stop smirking at you.

“Hot,” she says.

“What does that even mean! His house is hot? You don’t even know what he looks like.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me. Ridiculous you still haven’t shown me a photo. Everything you say about him sounds hot, though.” Sofia rolls her eyes. She’s so ridiculous, and you missed her energy since you relocated here. You can’t believe she came all the way here so soon after you moved, and in the middle of a Texas summer, no less. You’re hoping she can keep you anchored a bit while she’s here, but you know for a fact she’s very likely to do the opposite with her blasée personality and encouragement of you being the one to go a little crazy.

You two shop for a few hours, and of course Sofia ends up with several new outfits, claiming that it’s too hot here for all her clothes she brought. She makes you try on dresses because she’s desperate to have a night out with you while she’s here, and you cringe at first, but find a rather tight black dress with a low cut back and little cutouts on the sides that makes you actually feel like going out. She squeals when she sees it, and you can’t help but immediately wonder what Joel would think of it, but you think you already know the answer.

“Mr. Hot Neighbor is going to lose his fucking mind if he sees you in that dress you got,” Sofia says on the way home, as if she could read your thoughts.

“I do… think he’d like it, based on the other clothes he’s liked on me,” you admit a little shyly.

Sofia sighs. “Ugh, that’s so hot.”

“Stop saying everything about us is hot,” you laugh.

“But it is! You two are so hot it’s killing me. When am I going to meet him?” She’s bouncing a bit eagerly in her seat now.

You pause, feeling your eyes widen. You honestly hadn’t really thought about it, assuming you wouldn’t see Joel much for a few days while Sofia was visiting. The thought of introducing them makes you feel a little nauseous, just because it’s like two worlds colliding, and you know Sofia will have something completely insane to say to him.

“I actually don’t know…” you confess. “Maybe we’ll run into him since he lives right there.”

Sofia eyes you, knowing you are starting to overthink things, so she stays quiet on the matter. When you pull up you see Joel’s truck is in his driveway, eliciting a comment from Sofia that even his truck is sexy, but you don’t see any sign of Joel outside, so the coast seems clear. You two are laughing with your shopping bags, passing through the gate to go back to your apartment, when you see Joel walking out his front door and making his way over to his truck parked in the driveway. You bite back a groan, knowing he’s going to see you and Sofia, and you desperately want to avoid the awkwardness.

Joel approaches, smiling, and Sofia stops her chattering to turn and see what you’re looking at over her shoulder. “Oh…” she says quietly under her breath. “Oh,” she repeats, with a bit more suggestion behind her voice as she continues to inspect Joel.

“Well hello there,” he says, coming up where you’re now standing and waiting for him. His face looks entertained at the fact that you seem completely uncomfortable and embarrassed about where this is going.

“Joel, this is my friend Sofia. The one I told you about,” you say, trying not to grit your teeth.

“Pleasure,” Joel says with a thick accent, holding out his hand, and Sofia shakes it with the biggest smile on her face. Joel’s eyebrows twitch at the suspiciously large smile on your friend’s face and he glances at you for confirmation.

You nod slightly with a slight eye roll, letting him know that yes, Sofia knows all about you two.

“It’s so great to meet you. Thanks for being such a good neighbor to my friend here,” she says, her tone sweet but the devious implication behind it is not missed on any of you. You snort out a laugh, and it sends Sofia cracking up, Joel shaking his head slightly but laughing along with you two.

“What’re you ladies up to?” Joel asks, continuing to shake his head a little.

“Shopping,” Sofia announces excitedly, waving her bags around. “I think you’ll be very pleased with some of our purchases,” she says, and Joel’s eyebrows raise. Jesus, you think to yourself, she’s being so… Sofia right now.

Joel chuckles, looking to you for confirmation, and you giggle a little bit. “I can’t deny that she’s right,” you tell him, and a look of curiosity flashes across his face. You did also buy a thong that you’re dying to show him, but that’s going to have to wait.

“Well, you two ladies have fun,” he quips, the smile not leaving his face.

“I’m sure I’ll see you around while I’m here,” Sofia winks, and you can’t even be mad at her for it because you know the winking is all on your own behalf. You practically drag her up the stairs, waving to Joel as you go.

You burst through the door of your apartment, and Sofia immediately pretends to pass out on the floor. So damn dramatic, you think with amusement.

“Oh my fucking god,” she says, her chest heaving from the laughter. “That man… that is who you’re sleeping with right now? Like, you are fucking that man right there?” Sofia is completely beside herself.

“Get a grip, Soph. Yes, somehow I’m fucking that man.”

“Listen, I didn’t doubt you when you said he was hot, but this is another level,” she says, propping herself up on her elbows.

“You’re telling me!” you reply. “How the hell did I even end up in this situation?” you ask, more to yourself than anyone, but Sofia shakes her head.

She blows out a breath, getting to her feet. “Good for you, seriously,” she says, gripping you by the shoulders and shaking them.

“Oh, it’s very good for me,” you quip, and you both start laughing all over again.

The next evening, Sofia has managed to convince you to go out downtown and find a bar or club to blow off some steam. She says that you “need this” since you seem so tightly wound about the Joel situation, and you think she might be right.

You’re sitting on the floor with Sofia across from you while she does your makeup. She’s infinitely better at this than you are, and she makes you look flawless anytime she puts makeup on for you.

“Okay, so how big is it?” she asks, seemingly out of nowhere as she’s brushing highlighter onto your cheekbones.

“No way,” you say, shaking your head with a tight lipped smile.

She pulls back, holding her hands up, makeup brush still held in between her fingers.. “Just stop me when it’s the right size,” she says, expanding her hands outwards, raising her eyebrows.

“It’s big,” you reply simply, and she throws her hands down in exasperation.

“Fine, I’ll accept that answer. For now,” she scowls.

Sofia continues on your makeup, until she scoots back a little and gives you a once over. “Perfection,” she comments, giving you a proud smile. You stand up, going to the mirror in the bathroom to inspect her work. She’s done a perfect winged eyeliner with a smoky, sparkly eyeshadow look, blush, highlighter, and given you just the right lipstick color to tie it all together with your new dress. You marvel at how good you look and feel right now, starting to actually look forward to your night out together.

“Always perfect, Soph,” you say, tousling your hair a bit. She comes over and stands next to you, inspecting the both of you in the mirror together with an excited look on her face.

When you make your way out to the street, you both decide to order a ride so you don’t have to drive after the drinks you plan on having. You’re both standing there at the end of the driveway, waiting for the car that’s still several minutes away when Sofia turns to you.

“Why don’t you go show Joel your new look?” she suggests, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Wouldn’t that be weird, though? Just knock on his door and be like ‘look at me!’ and then run away in a few minutes when our ride gets here?”

“You said he’d like that dress, and not to toot my own horn but… you just look so good right here too,” she gestures a circle around your face with her hand, and you laugh. “Go,” she pushes you, then checks her phone. “It says this guy is still like 5 minutes away.”

You begrudgingly trot over to Joel’s, feeling a little unsteady on your heels - you haven’t worn shoes like this for a while. You reach your hand up tentatively and knock on his door. There’s no answer for a moment, increasing your anxiety but finally the door opens, and Joel’s eyes scan you, a quick flash of recognition crosses his face and his mouth hangs open, unable to speak for a moment.

“Shit… now what the hell is goin’ on here?” he smirks, taking you in with slow glances over your entire body, and the way he’s taking you in feels like it’s setting your skin on fire.

“Sofia is dragging me out, and I wanted to show you how I look,” you wring your hands in front of you, trying hard to maintain a confident air about yourself.

“Christ, that’s a look for sure, baby,” he says, continuing to inspect every inch of your body in this new dress. “Sure you can’t just stay here and let me look at ya all night?”

You giggle a bit. “Tragically, no.”

“S’alright, I’m actually goin’ out tonight too,” he tells you, and you try to shake off the creeping jealous feeling that sneaks in at wondering who he’s going out with. You know it’s hypocritical, but infatuation with Joel doesn’t seem to have any logic.

“Come here real quick,” he says, pulling you by the hand inside and just behind the door, leaving it ajar. His hands immediately go to your ass, pulling you into him and crashing his lips into yours, and both of your mouths open as your tongues slide over each other. One of Joel’s hands threads through your hair, and you’re gripping the back of his neck desperately as you two passionately devour each other for a few moments.

He pulls away, breathless. “Fuck, I know you gotta go,” he says. You nod, your eyes already filled with unrelenting desire as you look back at him.

“You’ll see this again, I promise,” you tell him, hesitantly pulling out of his arms and shooting him a wry look.

“I better,” he replies, smirking as he watches you make your way back over to Sofia, who is waving you over into the car.

You feel your phone buzz in your bag, and Joel is texting you once the car is down the street.

Joel: You look beautiful, by the way. I didn’t say when you were here.

You: Thank you ❤️

Joel: Where are you two going?

You: Some crazy bar downtown. Called Cowgirls? I think?

Joel: Don’t get too wild now 😉

You: I’m always going to be a good girl for you, you know that

Joel: Don’t get me started, baby. The outfit was already too much for me tonight

You: If you’re lucky, I’ll let you take this dress off of me sometime 😘

Joel: Not if I’m lucky

Joel: I will be taking that dress off of you

You start to feel flush, knowing that if this conversation continues you’re going to start getting a little too worked up to handle in the back of this stranger's car, so you breathe out and reign yourself in. Your phone buzzes once more, and you look down at it.

Joel: Have a great time tonight 🤠

Sofia eyes you curiously with a knowing smile as you have been smiling down at your phone for the last few minutes.

“I take it he liked the dress?” she asks, a brow arched in curiosity.

“Once again, you were right. He’s dying right now, I just know it,” you laugh.

“As he should be!” Sofia replies. “Don’t think I can’t tell you two just made out behind his door,” she whispers, eyes staring at your mouth. You slowly reach a hand up to touch your lips, and Sofia nods, confirming that your lipstick absolutely needs touching up.

You feel yourself get hot, embarrassed, starting to work on it using your phone camera. “Sorry,” you grumble, and Sofia laughs.

“No need to be sorry. You know I support this, right?” she says, more sincerely now. You glance over at her and catch her eye, smiling gratefully.

“You’ve definitely made that clear,” you tease her, but then sober up a bit. “Thank you,” you tell her, and she returns your beaming smile.

You and Sofia are on your second drink at the bar, plus a shot of tequila when you first got there, so you’re feeling… well, great. This bar is some kind of weird, bar-club hybrid it seems, because they have a small dance floor and music playing, but it seems people are into it, as it’s completely packed. Sofia drags you out and you two dance together, laughing the whole time. You’re feeling fun and alive and sexy and it flows through you with the rhythm of the music. You and Sofia eventually step away for a refill on your drinks and you quickly pull out your phone and open your messages with Joel, knowing it’s a bad idea when slightly inebriated but doing it anyway.

You: I miss youuuuuuu

You: I like you so muchh

Sofia orders drinks, and a young, attractive guy around your age with dark hair and blue eyes approaches you two and you try not to snort, excited to see Sofia flirting in action. It’s always a highlight of your night to learn some tips from her this way. You pretend to be interested in what he’s saying to you two, but then your phone goes off, vibrating in your bag.

Joel: Oh so we’re having lots of fun already, huh?

You: So fun I love Sofia so much we’re dancing and it’s the best

You: But I haven’t fucked you in two days and I’mm sad 🥺🥺🥺

Joel: We’ll fix that problem soon, baby… Just try to enjoy your night

You: But I’m being your good girl. Some guy is talking to us and I don’t caree cause I like you

You: Wanna feell you inside me

Joel: That’s all you’re thinking about, huh? Insatiable girl

You: Ignoring him to text you.. Sofia is a better flirt than me anyways and you’re hotter

Joel: Be my good girl and stop taunting me or else I’ll have to come there and fuck you in that sexy dress

You: Then I’m badddddd so you’ll come fuck me

You don’t get a response from Joel, so you sigh and put your phone away, tuning into the conversation at hand. You’re jumping in at a completely random spot, the guy hitting on Soph seems to completely have given up on you, and you don’t blame him as you’ve been on your phone the last few minutes looking completely uninterested. You catch Sofia’s eye and give her a wink before feeling just tipsy enough to get on the dancefloor by yourself. You don’t know how much time has passed but you’re enjoying the hell out of yourself while vaguely keeping an eye on Sofia in case she needs an out from this conversation. Either way, the Gemini in her loves an opportunity to hone her flirting skills, even if it doesn’t lead anywhere.

You suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around you, and you almost thrash a little, unable to believe that someone would be so forward with you, but then you remember you are out at a kind of skeevy bar. You know you’re not taken, technically single, you suppose. but you don’t want a random stranger, you want Joel. You blink hard and furrow your brow when you turn to chew this person out but stop short when you see it is Joel. He looks so damn good, a beautiful glow on his skin from all the time he spends outside, his dark hair is brushed off his face and into slightly messy, curling swoops over the top of his head. He has on dark jeans and a white linen button up shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the first few buttons undone. You can barely believe someone could look so sexy as you ogle him.

“Wh- Joel?” you say, feeling your quickly blinking eyes go wide. You know you’re drunk, but not so drunk you’d imagine him there, right?

“Come here, baby,” he says, leaning down to kiss you, swaying with the beat for a moment as he holds you and slides his tongue into your mouth. You melt into it, feeling everything soften as you bite his lip gently. Joel brushes his fingers through your hair, landing on the back of your head and pulling you even deeper into the kiss.

“What’s goin’ on here mister?” you slur, giggling slightly, and the look Joel gives you makes you stomach flip. He’s amused but turned on, you can see just by the way his eyes are lighting up right now. He leans in close now, his lips right next to your ears, and you breathe in with anticipation for his next words.

“If you haven’t learned by now, baby, I don’t know how to tell you. I don’t say things I don’t mean. So when I say if you don’t stop tauntin’ me then I’m going to come fuck you in this dress, I fuckin’ mean it,” he says, every word charged with pent up desire and lust. You breathe out shakily, and before you can craft a response through your slower, tipsy mind, Joel suddenly threads his fingers through yours, pulling you through the crowd of people. You’re following along blindly, still a bit stunned by his words and the fact that he actually came.

He pulls you into a bathroom, and you open your mouth to say something, but still find that nothing is coming out. A few people eye you from the sinks as he pulls you along and into a stall, and you give them an anxious, apologetic look, despite the fact that they look slightly impressed by what’s going on.

Joel latches the door behind you two and dives in, his lips immediately on yours, then trailing down to your neck. You’re definitely still buzzed, and the haze of it is adding to the moment, feeling like you’re just able to be completely free and let Joel do this to you without any worries. You let out a breathy moan as he flicks his tongue right at the top of your neck, near your ear.

“I’ve missed you,” you breathe out. Despite it being barely even days since you’d last truly spent any time together, you’d already gotten too used to seeing him as often as you were.

“So I’ve heard. What’d you miss, sweet thing?” He’s not wasting a moment, his tongue and lips traveling all around your neck and down to your chest now. You arch yourself into him, and one hand reaches up to squeeze your breast while the other squeezes your ass, eliciting a quiet groan from him as he does it.

“Missed being with you,” you say breathless and quiet, trying to keep it as low profile as you can in this very public bathroom. “Missed your big cock inside of me.” You are completely flattened against the wall, leaning your head back while he continues moving his lips over you, using the way you’re exposing your neck more as an opportunity to kiss everywhere he can there.

Joel groans again, pushing his hips into you. “Yeah, I bet you did, my fuckin’ cock hungry girl, wanting to be fucked all hours of the day.”

“Mhm,” you manage to make a noise, and you immediately notice the familiar feeling of your pussy beginning to ache for him, needing exactly what he’s saying. You need to be fucked, and right now.

“Is that what you want right now, baby? My cock inside of you?” he coos, and you nod, your eyes fluttering shut and head leaning back again as he reaches a hand into the top of your dress and rolls your nipple between his fingers. You try to bite back your moan as his other hand reaches up the bottom of your dress and drags a finger along your cunt outside of your underwear.

“Yeah…” he groans lightly, feeling your soaked panties. “That’s exactly what you want.”

You can only continue to nod as he undoes his belt and pants, pulling out his cock. One look at it sends another pulsing wave of desire through you and you press your hips forward towards it. Joel’s hands go underneath your thighs, pulling you up and pressing you even harder against the wall of the bathroom stall, and your breath hitches at how roughly he’s handling you. You help him by pulling your dress all the way up your thighs, and he peers down between the two of you, his already throbbing cock pressing against the fabric of your underwear. Your legs are tightly wrapped around him, pulling his hips in even closer, a silent ask for him to give you what you want.

He grunts, pulling your panties to the side and pushing his hips forward, the head finding your entrance and pushing in hard. You whimper and cry out, trying to bite down the sounds that threaten to come out of you as he slams his cock into you.

“Had to check that you’re still being a good girl for me tonight,” he says with a thrust of his hips, and you find that you like his obsession, his possession of you. You and him both know that you’d do anything to keep him calling you that, but the fact that he came all the way here because he couldn’t stand the sight of you in that dress without fucking you has your head spinning. You both have your vices, it seems.

“And am I?” you gasp desperately in a hushed tone.

His hips drive into you, sending him deeper and deeper, and you’re falling apart by the second.

“Oh yeah, look at you, taking all of me like that like the good girl you are,” he answers, looking down between your bodies and watching his cock enter you over and over. You shudder at his praises, wrapping your arms tighter around his neck and bringing your head closer to him. He’s thrusting so hard, the build up of wanting this for the last few days taking over, and it’s no surprise when he starts to hit that spot inside of you that you love and crave.

“F-fuck Joel, oh my god,” you cry out, feeling yourself already wanting to clench around him.

“Already gonna come for me, sweet girl? Guess you did miss me,” he says with a smirk, and to devastate you further he reaches in between you two and rubs your clit, sending your hips lurching.

“Joel, I can’t…” you whimper, feeling a desperation rising up in you, more intense than usual. You claw at his back, trying not to release the loud moans that sit in your throat, so you reach a fist to your mouth and bite down.

“Oh baby, you can, look at how good you’re taking me, just let it out,” he praises, not letting up on his pace as he breathes and grunts with every single slam into your hips. “Let me feel you come on this cock, c’mon,” he urges you, rubbing your clit furiously as he pounds into you.

It’s an explosion, the pressure releasing as you shudder onto him, his hand holding you tightly against him and the wall behind you as your cunt squeezes around his cock, sending Joel moaning as well. He’s continuing his thrusts, pressing on your g-spot over and over with each one, and you almost feel like you could die with how intense this feels right now. He grunts, the feeling of you spasming around him sending him over the edge as well, and you feel him coming as his hips press all the way against you, his warmth pouring into you. You’re moaning into your clenched fist, seeing stars behind your closed eyelids and suddenly you feel something else. Like a gushing of something, almost like you’re peeing but not quite. Holy shit, you think with a chuckle as you come down from your climax, breathing heavily onto Joel’s chest.

“Damn, baby, did you just…squirt?” Joel chuckles, with a deeply satisfied grin on his face.

“I think so? Oh my god.” You let out a little laugh, still feeling the glow of your orgasm washing over you. He sets you down onto your shaky legs and you feel like a complete mess between your own wetness and Joel’s cum running out of you. Joel hands you some toilet paper with a sly grin and you try and wipe yourself off a bit.

“Never done that before?” he asks, leaning his forehead on yours.

You shake your head. “Never.”

“Good,” he says simply, tilting your head up for a kiss. “You know I like bein’ the only one.”

“I know,” you whisper, kissing him again. “I always want you to be the only one too.” You quickly realize through your drunken fog that what you’ve said could be completely misconstrued and scare Joel off or something. It’s true, you do want him to be the only one you’re seeing, but you don’t think that’s the agreement. You try to backtrack, slurring your words. “Th- the only one to, y’know, make me squirt in a gross bathroom.”

Joel chuckles, holding your cheek. “It’s okay, baby, I get it.”

You stare for a long moment into his eyes, so unreadable right now. Maybe you’re just imagining things, that he didn’t think the same way about your words as you did.

“Why don’t you go back out, I’ll be behind ya in a minute,” Joel finally says, and you force a smile to your lips and leave the stall.

You make your way back to the bar, where Sofia is still flirting with her random guy, sipping on her drink that he likely bought for her. You wrap your arm around her shoulder, squeezing her, and she turns enough to glance over at you. She does a double take, and then quickly excuses herself from her new handsome interest sitting at the bar.

“What’s all this? Did you just fuck someone?” she stares wide eyed, palms out in front of her as if to steady herself. She takes you in with her eyes as they dart to different parts of your body.

“What’re you even talking about?” you slur a little.

“Um, your hair is insane, your lipstick is… I don’t even want to get into that, and your dress is literally off kilter right now. I know a freshly fucked look when I see one.” She crosses her arms.

“Maybe I was dancing really hard,” you tease, and she smirks at you. You’re about to respond with the truth, when you feel two strong arms come from behind you and wrap around the front of your chest followed by Joel’s body leaning down into you until his chin is resting on your shoulder. The scent and feel of Joel immediately fills your senses and you give a guilty look over to Sofia, who has her mouth hanging open slightly.

Sofia scolds you, using your full name like an angry mother. “I can’t believe you two!” she says playfully.

“I didn’t ask him to come, he just…” you try to explain, knowing that you did practically ask him to meet you here in a way.

“Yeah right, I’d hope you asked him to come just now,” she calls out to you, chuckling at her own cleverness. You reach forward and push her, giggling in the way you only do when you’re tipsy.

“Sorry to interrupt girls night, but I heard you had your own man at the bar, so I figured,” Joel says, leaning even further over your shoulder to project his voice enough for Sofia to hear him. The rumble of his voice next to your ear always ends up sending a little shiver down your spine.

“I can’t even be mad because you two look so sexy together right now. And lord knows my best friend needs to get laid.” Sofia shakes her head, staring between you and Joel. You scoff playfully in disbelief, and Joel seems a little speechless at your friend's forward attitude.

“Well thanks for understandin’, and the compliment, I think.”

“So, are you some kind of stalker or something? I just need to check, since you showed up here,” Sofia asks suddenly, raising her eyebrows at Joel, resting her elbow on the bartop and placing her cheek in her hand as she looks him over.

“Stalker?” Joel laughs. “Lord, no. Just wanted to check on my girl,” he says, squeezing his arms a little tighter around you. The words ring through your head over and over, and you’re having a hard time focusing. My girl, he’d said, and it makes your heart feel like it’s skipping inside of your chest.

“Did more than check on her,” Sofia mumbles back, and both you and Joel chuckle.

“Alright, I’ll shoo now, you two have fun.” He squeezes you and kisses the top of your head, but when he pulls away you turn your head, grab the collar of his shirt and pull him back down. You kiss him long and deep, sliding your tongue into his mouth. Joel pulls off, shaking his head with that devilish grin he does when he’s turned on and forces himself to step back.

“Bye, ladies,” he calls out, and you watch him walk away. You reluctantly turn your head back to Sofia, who you know is going to have so much to say to her. Her expression is pure gold, and you immediately laugh at the way her head is tilted slightly down, mouth hanging open, eyes blinking dramatically.

“Don’t even say it,” you warn her, lifting a finger in warning, and she presses her lips together. “Yeah yeah, it was hot, I know,” you add with a roll of your eyes.

“So fucking hot,” she confirms, reaching for her drink again as she shakes her head.

Sofia turns herself towards you in the dark, her eyes more serious than normal. You two are laying in your bed with the TV on in the background, trying to fall asleep after coming down from your buzz. You’d made several stops after Cowgirls and drank a hell of a lot more, but it’s been a few hours, long enough to still feel pleasant but at least you’ve got some of your wits about you again.

“Can I ask you something?” she says, and you wince a little, having a feeling on what’s coming next.

“Sure,” you say, keeping your eyes glued to the TV.

“Do you have feelings for him?”

You sigh and hold back your answer for a few quiet moments. “I don’t know, maybe…” You look towards her, hoping to convey the confusion you’re feeling in your eyes. “I don’t think he’d feel that way about me, so I’m trying really hard not to.”

“Why the hell wouldn’t he feel that way about you?” she says with a scoff.

“He seemed really quick to agree that things were casual with us. I don’t know. He’s never said anything more about it. We just… fuck, mostly. And hang out sometimes, I guess”

“Hmm,” Sofia thinks for a beat. “He looks at you in a certain way, like more than just lusting after you.”

“What? No he doesn’t. He only came to see me tonight because he wanted to have sex with me. Which is fine, that’s kind of what we agreed to, I think.”

“Or… he could want to fuck you and just want to see you because he likes being around you,” she counters, and you know she’s technically right, but you don’t want to believe it even a tiny percentage for fear of being wrong. So you shrug in response, finding it unlikely. Not that you think Joel doesn’t want to be around you, just that he wouldn’t have much of a reason to if you didn’t like your body, too.

“I know the whole friends with benefits thing can be kind of confusing sometimes,” Sofia says, rolling her entire body so that she’s fully facing you now. You do the same and you look at each other, ignoring the voices coming from the television now. You sigh, feeling a few tears prick behind your eyes. Damn it, Sofia is always good at breaking down your barriers like this, and the alcohol isn’t helping.

“I don’t want to be wrong,” you state simply, and she nods, understanding your meaning. “And I don’t even know what I’d want to do with my feelings. What, are we supposed to be an official couple or something? It feels ridiculous to even think about.”

“I mean, you two wouldn’t be the first people with an age gap to be together like that,” Sofia states plainly.

“I do like him, Soph,” you say quietly, feeling the tears stinging again. Something about being with one of your closest friends, someone so understanding and encouraging, is really turning on the waterworks for you. “Aside from the obvious stuff about him being insanely good at fucking me, he’s so… great. He never made me feel pressured or weird about our age stuff, and he does sweet stuff for me, like paying attention to things I like, treating me so well. What the hell does it all mean from him, you know?” you spill out, unable to stop this need to share all the thoughts that have been tumbling through your head recently. Sofia hums, thinking, and you continue.

“Like, he wanted to see me to have lunch, in a park… just to see me. But then the next moment he’s looking at me like I’m only a fucking meal and I start to doubt myself again… what am I supposed to do?” You groan and run your hands over your face, wanting to scream into your pillow. You had never expected this to go so far - you hadn’t even thought past just getting him to notice you, honestly. It’s been one step at a time with this whole situation, and now you’re feeling like you’re quickly approaching some kind of crossroads with Joel.

“Oh, babe, you really are in deep. And it sounds like he might be too, whether he realizes it or not,” Sofia replies. You chew on your inner lip, wanting her to be wrong because it would just be so much less painful.

“I don’t think I can risk saying any of this to him, though,” you tell her, shaking your head. “I don’t want to lose him, I’m already so… addicted,” you admit, cringing at the last word.

“Addicted or not, I think you should tell him. That, or you have to accept what you two are doing is just that, and nothing more.” Sofia purses her lips and gives you a sympathetic look.

“I hate when you’re right,” you say with a scowl.

“That must be tough, considering I’m right one hundred percent of the time,” she says with a laugh, prompting one from you as well. Sofia reaches over and drapes her arm around you, squeezing you tightly.

“No matter what, I’ll be here. I do hope he’s devastatingly in love with you, though.”

“Okay, don’t put ideas in my head,” you say, smacking her on the arm. The thought of that alone could send you spiraling. Joel loving you in any capacity seems far fetched, as you aren’t even sure what your feelings are for him besides fucking terrifyingly strong. But if someday he did… what then?

“Sorry. You guys would make a cute couple though, honestly. People might freak about the age thing, but if that’s what you both want, then I say why not? Fuck what anyone else thinks,” Sofia says with a defiant look on her face, one you’ve seen many times when she’s dedicated to a cause or idea.

“Easier said than done,” you say with a small shrug.

“Very true. So what do you want, hm?” she asks, trying to coax some finality out of you in this conversation.

“I just want… him. All the time. He’s invaded my fucking brain and I don’t even know anything else anymore. I just want to be with him any chance I can.”

“Good dick will do that to you,” she says, chuckling. “And also feelings,” she adds on more seriously.

“Feelings…”

“Yes, feelings. Feelings that you should definitely confess to him someday if you think he might have them back.”

“I’m too drunk to consider him having real feelings for me,” you say, rolling over and crushing your face into your pillow.

“Want to watch more trashy shit and forget about it for now?” Sofia asks earnestly, and you pop your head up off the pillow and nod at her.

“Yes, please,” you groan, readjusting yourself to face the TV again as Sofia puts on one of your favorite rom-com movies and you two laugh at the predictable drama unfolding in front of you. You’re immensely grateful Sofia knew exactly what you needed in this moment, and wish you could just keep her here in Austin with you for a bit longer to help you figure out what the hell you’re doing.

The next morning, you and Sofia groggily stretch out on your bed with mild hangovers plaguing you both.

“I want a fucking egg sandwich,” Sofia croaks out, the first thing spoken between you two for the day. That’s her go to hangover food - egg, cheese, and bacon on any kind of carb, but preferably a huge bagel.

You laugh, rolling over to check your phone. “We’ll get you your egg sandwich, princess,” you tell her, brushing your tangled hair out of your face as the screen lights up on your phone. “Oh, Joel texted me,” you announce. Sofia perks up a little, placing her head on your shoulder and trying to see your phone screen.

“Aww!” she coos, seeing Joel’s message inviting you both over for breakfast to cure your hangovers. “We’re going, right?” she says, the sleepiness in her voice now replaced with excitement.

“Uh…” you start, thinking for several beats. “Maybe…”

“This is some boyfriend shit right here, I see what you’re talking about. Fucking you in a bathroom and leaving, and then making you and your friend breakfast? That’s mixed signal central right there,” Sofia says, completely ignoring your half-assed protest. She stands up, heading to the bathroom as she’s talking.

“Exactly!” you exclaim. “I have no idea what the hell he wants from me.” You hear Sofia rustling through her things in the bathroom before she starts brushing her teeth.

“Well we’re going, so get ready,” she tells you, voice muffled from the toothbrush in her mouth. You groan a little, sliding out of the bed and joining her in the bathroom to get ready. You shoot Joel back a confirmation that you’ll be over in a bit, and half regret it, not sure what you’re about to get yourself into. Sure, it was entertaining watching Sofia interact with Joel last night, but in the light of day you don’t know if you can handle her questioning him.

Twenty minutes later, you’ve both brushed your teeth, thrown on your lounge clothes, and combed your hair out, barely able to bother with much else through the pounding headaches that have been creeping up on you. You urge Sofia to quietly head down the stairs with you and around the fence to Joel’s yard, trying to avoid getting in the sight of any larger windows in your parents place. She giggles a little, absolutely loving the drama of it all and you roll your eyes but can’t help but laugh because it really is ridiculous.

You tap on Joel’s backdoor when you see him in the kitchen beyond. A cocky grin is on his face as he slides the door open and beholds the two of you.

“Oh, there are some fresh faces,” he quips, pressing his lips together to avoid laughing at your tired looks.

“Watch it, we will bite if prompted,” Sofia says, baring her teeth at him humorously.

Joel’s eyes are completely on you when he says “Hope so,” and Sofia groans immediately.

“Ew, guys, it’s literally too early for that,” she replies, sauntering further into Joel’s kitchen and taking a seat at the counter when he offers up the seats to you two. You sit down next to her and rest your head on her shoulder. You’re beginning to wonder why you thought this was about to be a mild hangover when you first woke up. Joel pours two cups of coffee and slides them over to you and Sofia, then goes to his fridge and pulls out a container of creamer, and your mouth drops open slightly. It’s the type of creamer you’d told him that you like the other morning, and he went and fucking bought it in case you were having coffee here? You give him a knowing smile and soft eyes as he passes the creamer to you, willing him to understand just how much this small moment means to you.

“Alright, ladies, what’re we having?” Joel asks, leaning on his elbows across from you on the island.

“What, we get to order like we’re at a restaurant?” You laugh, adding cream to your coffee and stirring it. Sofia does the same and you both take big sips, that first taste of coffee breathing a bit of life back into you.

“I’ve got pancake mix, eggs, toast, some sausages,” Joel lists off, and Sofia perks up.

“Do you have bacon and a huge ass bagel?” Sofia asks hopefully, leaning forward in excitement.

“I do have bacon, but it’s a no on the bagel. How ‘bout an english muffin?”

Sofia puts on a thinking face for a moment with a slight scowl. “Okay, deal.”

“Her favorite hangover food is a breakfast sandwich,” you tell him, and Joel nods in agreement.

“That’s a good one for a hangover, alright,” he replies, now looking at you. “What about you, darlin’?” Joel asks, and you feel Sofia slap your leg excitedly under the counter at his pet name. You want to slap hers back hard in protest, but you decide not to cause a scene in front of Joel.

“Same is fine with me. Bacon egg and cheese.”

“Alright, gimme a little bit. In the meantime tell me about your big night,” Joel says.

“Ugh, so fun,” Sofia begins to answer. “I wish I didn’t have to fly back later today,” she says sadly.

“Shortest visit ever,” you gripe, leaning your head on her shoulder again.

“I know, my job literally has me by the balls right now, it’s hard to get any time off,” she rolls her eyes, and you see Joel shoot her an amused look.

“How about that guy at the bar, huh?” Joel asks playfully.

“I scared him away from her,” you say, frowning dramatically.

“He wasn’t going to fuck me in the bathroom anyways, so what was the point, you know?” she teases, looking at you with raised eyebrows. You see Joel practically choke on nothing across the room as he’s cracking eggs into a pan and you furrow your brows, looking Sofia in the eyes with a warning look.

“That feels like a personal attack,” you snort.

“Agreed,” Joel chimes in, not looking over, and something about the way this conversation is flowing tugs at your heart. The way Joel is making you and Sofia breakfast sandwiches like it’s the most convenient thing for him, and how they’re getting along so well, despite you being able to tell Joel thinks Sofia is out of her mind in the best way. You feel like you’re going to burst, you can’t remember the last time you felt so happy in a moment.

“Thank you so much, Joel, seriously,” Sofia says fifteen minutes later as Joel hands you two plates with a steaming, delicious looking breakfast sandwich, standing there with one of his own. He slides over a bottle of painkillers for your headaches and smirks. “You’re one of the good ones,” she adds, pointing a finger at him.

You can’t help but smile even wider at her comment being so right before taking a bite of the meal Joel made for you two. It’s so good, just like the other few things he’s cooked for you recently. The man knows how to season his food perfectly, at the very least.

“Yessss,” Sofia groans out as she takes her first bite. You’ve seen this same reaction many times after a night out together when she finally gets her craving fulfilled.

“So good, thanks,” you say a bit more shyly than Sofia. Joel looks pleased that you both are enjoying everything so much, and his eyes are soft and kind as they watch you for the rest of your meal together.

Sofia even dares a hug with Joel when you go to leave a while later, and despite his raised eyebrows, he goes in for the hug, patting her on the back.

“You’re a little wild, but I like ya. I can tell you take good care of our girl here,” Joel states when they break the hug. There it is again, his words claiming you as his, as part of his life in a significant way. His girl, you ring the words through your head several times to see how they feel.

Sofia smiles brightly and links her arm in yours, breaking you out of your thoughts. “I could say something so inappropriate about you taking care of her too, but I won’t,” she laughs, and you look over at her as if to say you just did anyways.

“Nice to meet you,” Sofia says, waving to Joel as you leave, and he returns the sentiment. He winks at you when you turn to get one last look before sliding the door shut behind you.

You’re restless now, laying awake after lounging all day. You and Sofia spent the rest of the morning debriefing from your night out, and all the stops you made after Cowgirls, remembering only portions of it. You switched to binge a new drama that you promised to only watch the rest of if you were on the phone together before she had to finish packing up to go to the airport.

You drop her off, and a few tears are shed with both of you promising to call and text constantly, and once again, you’re alone and friendless in Austin. Having Sofia leave definitely strengthens your resolve to try and make some friends in this new city.

But now, you’re lying awake, feeling slightly sorry for yourself as you try to read and wind your mind down for the night. But truthfully, you can only think of Joel, and how you wish he were here, even if just to be here while you read. You just want his warm body next to yours, reminding you he’s there for you, holding you close to him. You debate for a few minutes before grabbing your phone and typing out a message.

You: Come over?

Joel: You come here

You: I asked first 😠

Joel: I have treats

You quirk your brow before receiving a photo of ice cream containers in Joel’s freezer, which makes you laugh. Food is definitely his favorite way of taking care of others, you’ve officially concluded.

You: Fine… be there in 5

You are there in less than five minutes, Joel opening the door and pulling you into his arms immediately. You breathe into his chest, the inviting, comforting scent of him instantly lifting your mood. You’d stay buried in this chest, smelling him forever if you could. He kisses your head and holds you longer, sensing your hesitation to pull away.

“What’s goin’ on baby, you feelin’ down about Sofia?” He rocks your body a little and you nod.

“I just love having her around, and I’m tired as hell, but I can’t sleep,” you mumble into his chest.

“Poor little thing. I’ll take care of ya,” he teases slightly despite meaning it. “C’mon in.” Joel pulls you into the living room, settling you onto the couch before disappearing and then reappearing with the ice cream and two spoons.

“You like cookie dough?” he asks, showing you the carton with that flavor listed on the front before sitting down next to you.

“Hell yeah,” you reply, tucking yourself in close to him, your spoon fighting to get into the ice cream.

“Patience, sweet girl,” he chides, opening the lid and seal of the carton, and you laugh. As soon as it’s open, he offers it to you and you take a large spoonful, a light moan of delight slipping out as it hits your lips.

“Keep makin’ noises like that and see what happens.” Joel looks at you with lifted brows, taking a spoonful of the ice cream for himself.

“Ha ha,” you tease back. “Wouldn’t you like that.”

“Wouldn’t you?” he counters.

“I would,” you say plainly, daring him with your lifted eyebrows, sucking on the spoon a little longer than normal as you have another bite of the ice cream.

Joel laughs and shakes his head. “Swear, you are always pushin’ me, girl,” he says.

“Not my fault everything I do makes you want to fuck me,” you tease confidently.

“Oh, isn’t it?” he quips back, nudging you with his arm.

“Anyway, I’m just here to eat ice cream and watch TV, so…” you tilt your head with a sweet, unassuming smile and then turn your attention towards the TV and grab the remote before Joel can. Joel growls in his throat, half irritated and half amused at your teasing, but he lets it go for now.

“Fine then, don’t come to me beggin’ later,” he smirks, and you roll your eyes.

“Wait. Joel, have you been watching Lover’s Paradise since you saw it at my place?!” you blurt out incredulously, a wide grin on your face as you stifle a laugh. You can see on his most recently streamed shows that he’s a couple episodes deep into one of the seasons.

“W-well, you showed me just a little, and I’m a naturally curious guy, so y’know. One thing leads to another…” he rambles on, looking embarrassed at your discovery.

“This is turning out to be the best night ever, actually,” you reply, loving the sheepish look on his face. For once, for god damned once, he’s the one acting completely tripped up with you, you rather than the other way around. You click on the next episode and set the remote down, leaning back into Joel with the smug smile still plastered on your face.

“Stop it,” he growls when he notices your overly pleased expression.

“Nope,” you counter with a little delighted shake of your head.

“Alright, quiet now so I can see what Victoria and Henry have been up to,” he says, and you double over with laughter before you can even stop yourself.

“Yes sir,” you say, sitting back again and pinching your lips to try and keep more laughter from slipping out.

It’s not until Victoria throws a drink on Henry and then slaps him that Joel has a reaction and starts speaking again.

“Now that’s just crazy,” he says, stunned. The man has clearly not watched enough reality TV if this kind of behavior is shocking to him. “She slapped him for what again?” he leans forward, pointing his spoon at the screen and holding the ice cream container in the other. His eyes are glued on the TV and brows furrowed, and it’s such an amusing sight it sends you laughing again.

“He was talking about her behind her back, duh. Are you even watching?” you reply with sass.

“I am, there’s just a lot goin’ on, it’s hard to follow.” Joel huffs in response, still avidly watching the screen to piece more of it together. You can’t believe how seriously he’s taking this right now. Here you are, trying to avoid your feelings for him when he pulls adorable things like this and makes you want to smash your lips on his and tell him to watch reality TV with you forever.

“You sweet, sweet man, you will soon learn the ways of trashy reality TV,” you say with a dramatic flair. Joel tries to shush you again, so you wrap your arm around his chest and angle your head towards the show while it rests on his shoulder, craving closeness with him but not wanting to distract him further. His hand comes up to your arm, tracing back and forth along it to your hand as he watches. When the episode ends, he looks down at you, a questioning look on his face.

“Start the next one,” you say, answering his silent question. He smiles down at you before you two focus back in for another episode. Several hours later, you’re dozing onto his chest while Joel has watched two more episodes of Lover’s Paradise, staying equally invested through each one, and that’s when you know you’ve created a monster.

He nudges you and plants a kiss on your head. “You up, darlin’?” he asks quietly, and you stir, knowing you’ve been half sleeping for the last hour, coming in and out of consciousness trying to follow what was happening on Lover’s Paradise.

“Oh, s-sorry,” you mumble, sitting up and off his chest. Joel puts an arm around you and rubs your back.

“S’alright, glad you got some shut eye. Want to come upstairs with me?” he asks. You blink sleepily at him and nod, slowly standing up from the couch and trailing behind him. Your heart lurches in your chest when you see the bright pink toothbrush you used the last time you slept here is in a little cup by the sink, and you have to fight not to have an overt reaction to its presence. Instead, you grab it and begin brushing your teeth like this is a completely normal occurrence - you having things at Joel’s house.

“For you to sleep in, if ya want,” Joel says as you come out of the bathroom. He hands you one of his shirts to wear, an old looking college football one. You strip your own shirt off, revealing your lack of bra underneath, but you figured Joel had already noticed that much. He sucks in a breath, watching you unabashedly as you’re half naked before tossing his shirt over your head. You strip off your shorts and place all of your clothing on the same chair he had used last time. In the meantime, Joel has gotten into his bed, leaning back on the headboard as he’s been observing you.

“Look so damn good in here, baby, just doin’ your thing,” he says as you approach the free side of the bed and start to climb in.

“Oh stop,” you say, waving him off. Joel reaches up to his bedside lamp and turns it off, and you quickly do the same before laying down.

“Definitely not doing that,” he retorts, and you let out a giggle as he snatches you into his arms as he says it. You lay in the dark, feeling the warmth from Joel’s body seeping into yours. He’s laying in only his briefs now, and you like that you know how he sleeps. You revel in his bare chest underneath your hand as you trace your fingers along it.

“Thanks for everything tonight, I feel way better than I did earlier,” you tell him sincerely, giving his shoulder a quick kiss.

“What I’m here for - makin’ you feel good, baby” Joel replies. “In all kinds of ways.”

Your eyes are already closed, the heaviness of sleep keeping them from opening again despite your desire to look up at Joel. “Is that so?” you mumble into his shoulder.

“It is, but right now, I’m makin’ you feel good by letting you get some sleep,” he says, forgoing the flirty avenue the conversation was about to turn down.

“N-no, need to stay up with you,” you half slur out of sleepiness, attempting to blink your eyes open a few times.

Joel simply shushes you, rubbing his hand along your back in soothing strokes. “Sleep, sweet girl,” he commands in a soft, quiet voice, and as usual, you find yourself doing exactly what he asks of you as you give in to the sleep your tired mind is fighting for.

#joel is so boyfriend in this chapter i'm gonna screaaaaaaam #fic: closer #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader

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