#I actually had a journal for this guy
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I can’t believe I’ve never seen anyone mention that Fords college counselor told him multiple times, point blank, to ‘seek therapy’ OH MY GOSH. This man 😭😭 his issues have issues and keep ignoring the help that the people around him try to give him bc he believes he needs to do stuff on his own. The foreshadowing is wild. Stanley, the college counselor, and Fiddleford, all of them trying to reach this man and tell him it’s okay to ask for help.
I hope he and Stanley both got the therapy they needed post-Weirdmaggedon. Or at least talked through their issues like function (semi functional) people
#Can’t believe I haven’t seen anything about this detail#Ford was NOT thriving he was scraping by emotionally and putting all his energy into succeeding in one very specific area#(Academically)#Fiddleford was his lifeline 😭😭#that man was not meant to function alone he just wasnt#First Stanley then Fiddleford and then Bill. Then Fiddleford again. Then he had no one for 30 years#By the time he’d convinced him self. (As he always does) that he’s better off alone#That idea gets shot in the foot point blank just as Stanley gets shot in the head and Ford faces the idea of truly losing his twin#This was supposed to be a shitpost and now it’s ANOTHER analysis I’ve spent way too long on#Gravity falls#stanford pines#young stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle stan#backupsmore#im actually not sure if this is journal 3 or BoB cause I haven’t gotten the book yet. I found this screenshot and lost my marbles#Can’t fucking wait to actually have journal three in a few weeks#You guys are gonna get sick of me#stanley pines#stan twins#fiddleford mcgucket#bill cipher#journal 3#book of bill#character analysis#whoops
98 notes
·
View notes
Text
am i the only person who feels like they're missing out on everything
#journal 𓂃#like i didn't go to hoco this year#i get rejected by everyone i have a crush on#the ONE guy i dated was an asshole#it genuinely makes me feel like i'm unlovable like#am i that bad#am i that ugly#yk#like looks aren't everything IK but still#i wanna be perceived as pretty and cute enough to be asked out#all my friends have boyfriends or people who've liked them#meanwhile no one liked me since my ex#tbf they have reason to not like me#i'm lowkey weird irl so#yeah#and like there's a girl at my school who looks like the grinch#LIKE GENUINELY I'M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE MEAN SHE QUITE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE THE GRINCH IF HE HAD BLUE EYES AND HAIR EXTENSIONS#but even she has a bf#THE KID WHO DRAWS ACTUAL GACHA HEAT DURING LUNCH HAS A BOYFRIEND#BUT NOT ME ???#like am i that unlovable ???#i just wanna experience teenage love#like love u see in movies#idk i think i'm gonna die alone
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
there's cliche's and then there's intentionally leaving a piece vague but it still having meaning and assuming your audience isn't stupid so they can come to their own conclusions about how the piece makes them feel based on visual language
#that's what we did in art school#when you actually have to do shows and tell people in person your artist's statement#I like seeing how people feel and react to my work rather than care about the style or aesthetic or tropes used#it's the /meaning/ of the piece and I love how even though my experience is specific#it still feels relatable to others#in that moment where people go wow or that's so cool like#i had a guy run up to me once just because he bloboed a work of art I made#i love that shit#i miss shows but eugh pandemic :(#jackal's journal#my art historian would have a fit rn#her whole thing is Pompeii and she showed us how much enjoying and relating to things you love or find neat helps inspire you more#than worrying about how other people feel about you#like damn
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌱 we are so back promo!!!! 🌱
💛💛Hello everybody!! :3 Jane here! I was distracted for a while but now that I'm settled in with my partner I'm back and starting to focus on f/os again!💛💛
I have a variety of interests but right now I'm fixated on Pikmin, and I ship with Erma Shepherd from the fourth game, and my more detailed f/o list can be found here! I missed y'all and I hope I can get back into the swing with interacting and talking with folks here!
ps. yellow pikmin are my favorite!!
#jane journals#self insert talk#self ship#self shipping community#self insert comminity#self ship promo#self insert promo#hewwo everyone!!#pls feel free to tag me in smth or send me an ask or a dm for anything at all!!#i was gonna wait till i actually had some new ship art for u guys to post this#but ah fuck it#we ball!!
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
last night i had a dream that martyn inthelittlewood was on game changer and the game was that you had to pick from one of three birds and the twist would be that if your bird got drawn you lost. so martyn picked all three. and when sam reich was like you can’t do that martyn handed him $1000 in cash and when everyone was like hey why do you have a thousand dollars in cash just with you. he pulled out his wallet that looked like a really shitty leather journal full of those little clear plastic divider pockets where he had even more cash sorted by how much it was worth. and that was the whole dream
#i was also there i think i was the guy who brought the birds cause they were actual live birds#and i asked him why he had so much loose cash and insulted his wallet#“what is this sketchbook middle schooler journal ass wallet” <- my exact words#10piecetalks#i’d like to add also that it was like so many different kinds of cash. it wasn’t like 10 $100 bills it was like a handful of ones a handful#of tens etc etc. it was wild#inthelittlewood#sure i’ll tag that.
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
help me its so dark in here
#why is there no website that has screencaps of every scene like so many other movies have i had to use imdb and they hate saving pics#this is getting bad though. four viewings in five days and i fully plan on watching it again tomorrow#i read the first chapter of the book last night but then realised i didn't care enough sorry to the real guys the film is more fun#this time i fucking took notes. like took actual notes to help my yaoi. scary things happening.#micah.txt#journalism yaoi tag
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
i found my old wattpad account... and through that, my old amino account... im embarrassed, ashamed even.
#sav's journal#no bc why was i actually popular i had over 500 followers on that amino account#WENT ON AMINO AND SAW PEOPLE HAD COMMENTED ON MY WALL LIKE “i miss you :((”#like fuck#guys i was embarrassing back then#eughhhh#but honestly the edits i had posted were LOWKEY...#they were just a little good#i wish i didn't find it#chat i did NOT want to see that#but ig i have some okayish memories from back then(?)#i remember going onto that site as likeeee a 10 year old and i became friends w a guy that was 17... and he LIKED me...#“age is just a number”#YOU SAID WHAT???#funniest shit ever solely because that guy still follows my spotify account#wake up babe new sav lore just dropped!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store
anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.
#Can you tell that I'm mentally unwell and also that I had a falling out with these friends and also that I miss them dearly#I actually went to see the sonic 3 movie today on christmas day and I saw a group of people that I know- one guy in the group was one of#The three that was at the store while we were doing the dub. I had a falling out with all five of those friends after that.#That day was really great. It was like a year ago now. I feel like that was the first time where I was really vulnerable with friends#And I had never been so honest about my interests and thoughts before with a group of people and it. It was nice. But after that day it...#I think it was all my fault. Or at least mostly my fault. I was honest with them but no one else#So I couldn't accept the truth of myself and I wasn't ready for everyone i know to know me that way so I tried to hide it and ignore it#And in doing so I stopped being honest with them and I started avoiding them. And I regret it. I could have just been a weirdo with them#I could have spent every tuesday afternoon hanging out and talking about life with them over pizza. But instead I ran away.#And of course they kept asking about me and wondering why I was being weird but I couldn't face it. And I kept running away#And they kept trying to chase after me. I even left for like two months and completely went no contact and no explanation#But then I came back because I had nowhere else to go and it... it was so awkward. It was too much. And now I'm overthinking#everything. I was so jealous of them. All of them. And when I got to be friend with them it was too much for me. My brain couldn't accept i#I'm not allowed to be happy unless it's in secret. That's what my brain thinks#That's the mantra I've been living by recently. For like the past 3-5 years. That's just how I was raised I suppose#Um. Oops I ranted too much in the tags. Sorry if you read all of this. But also thank you if you did. I hope you're well#Rant in tags#rant#personal#Why is this literally just my journal. Goodness gracious#I'm so sorry. Everything I post here is like completely dumb and irrelevant and stupid and pointless and matters very little.#I am just mentally unwell and I can barely think clearly. I am sorry. I hope you look elsewhere for actually important or meaningful words#Dang I just had a dramatic soundtrack melody start playing in my head but I have no idea where this song is from or what it's called. Damn
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Recent game related things .. hrmm...
#I do like the inconsistency of the first map. that is actually something older but that I re-found and added to my Game Reference stuff#so that when characters reference where they're from I can be accurate. I like that the whole map is kind of shifted up that way. Where the#actual south part doesnt even count as the south since its Too Far and Scary lol. and if you say you're from 'the north' thats basically#like.. one single continent. Though some people do make distinctions like 'north midlands' or etc. still. I like the ways that common#language isn't always precisely accurate like that. and thinking about why a culture would classify things a certain way or etc. etc.#The inventory page is so funny to me because it's literally just the BASe like.. sample layout just to make sure it works properly with 0#actual design into it. just colored rectangles thrown together in MS paint. but what if I like... left it like that.. what if all the other#art in the game and UI is like stylized and fully matching BUT the inventory/journal/etc. screens I just left as plain colored blocks#with random misalignments and black spots and etc gjhbhjj... It looks unfinished in a Funny Contrast way to me.#the wordcounts are just like... my past few days of writing.. I am still not getting 2200 words a day done or whatever I needed. I'm lucky#if it's even half of that .... tee hee.. :3c I do also keep having appointments and other things going on but..grrr...#The full map of the area is probably not necessary but I thought it would be more realisitc if people were able to reference things. Like i#you have people all living in a city area probably at some point someone might mention a neighboring city or some landmark nearby#or etc. so I thought having at least the basic names of what's around for reference would be sensible. A side character mentioning#'oh yeah I don't live here full time I just travel from Marisene sometimes' or whatever makes it seem more like a Real#Fleshed Out Place than people just making vague references like 'the river' or 'i come from a city nearby' or 'i went to a place somewhere#around here' or 'the other city' or etc. lol.. Especially since global cities/global areas are weird as they operate almost like an#independent country within their walls. so it's like a micro country inside of another country usually. just plopped down in some agreed#upon plot of land that won't be too disruptive to the main country around it. That could get very complex depending on the cultural and#political backdrop of where they're placed (though obviously they try to choose the 'easiest' areas possible for it). Asen is a very mild#country without much history of conflict or anything so it's fine. But still interesting that Sifeh and the entire branched out global area#border three other districts of Asen. Which means like 3 times the local representitives you'l have to negotiate with for some major change#or anything. I think one of the 'random characters you can find around the world and have short discussions with just to make the area#feel more populated and real even though theyre not actual important npcs' is going to be a guy who actually serves on the council that#handles running the global areas and he's like.. some perpetually exhausted middle aged elf running around with a clipboard or whatever#ANYWAY...... hrgh... still trying to write when I can....#I WISH so badly that I had the scope for a simple character creation menu and all character interactions would allot for the background#of your player character. And also to have a simple day night cycle where places in the world you explore/people you talk to during the day#have new options or dialogue at night.. BUT alas... I already am so behind on everything as is lol.. aughhh... T o T#As the worlds number one Needless Detail And Complexity Enjoyer i must dilligently prevent myself from adding additional complexity
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
g’mornin & happy monday friends! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა my supervisor is messin w my schedule so i have today off & fri-sun!! i’m thinkin of goin to a lil coffee shop to get some writing done & to try & see what my options for schooling are!! ꒰✿´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡ i hope that your wknd set you up w the most positive energy for this wk to be the best one yet!! ପ૮๑ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ๑ აଓ kissin you & makin you your fave snackies!! mwah!!
#guys both my head & my laptop hard drive have been filled w so many blurbs/hcs!!! eeep it’s getting insane!!! ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა#but also…im not complaining bc i love being delulu ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ lmaosksk#im tryin to go back to school to actually finish getting my bachelors degree by next spring but i alwys forget how much goes into applyin:(#sigh i only have like 1.5-2 yrs of schoolin left to get my degree bc i had done 1.5 years after hs so not bad at all!!#& i LOVE LOVE LOVE school!!! i love learning anyth & everyth & i love writing papers omg ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ*)#i hope today is so super magical for you all!! & ilysm always!!! <333#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had a really stupid thought while I was in the shower about the initial 'episode' my s/i is introduced in where the girls are trying to warn Utonium about his new lady friend 😂 ofc my s/i's human form would look like me and that means being visibly nonwhite/Latina and I thought of them exclaiming that she's an alien...and Utonium responding with something like "Girls! I'm surprised at you, everyone has a right to live in this country no matter where they come from." 😂😂😂
#jane journals#self insert talk#💟 space girl 💟#im not adding all those tags im lazy rn ajfkf#but LISTEN...IT WAS THE LATE 90S THEY WOULD MAKE A JOKE LIKE THAT#you'd be surprised#and ofc its a 'dont judge a book by its cover' lesson#or maybe a 'dont assume the worst in someone' type dealie#they actually DO have a similar episode in season 6 when the girls get a substitute teacher who looks like a badass demon guy#his design actually genuinely fucks but hes just chillin!! hes just a good lad#my s/i would get along with him ajfjgg#but yeah!! just a silly thought i had#my partner suggested that maybe they were previously watching some kind of alien invasion movie#like independence day or smth 😂 and THATS why they were especially on edge cause theyve done that in a similar ep too
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think the funniest ocs ive ever had were it was like a next gen crossover au where all webseries (of the 2000s-2010s for reference) exist in the same world but its like the kids of the characters and the main character (and couple) were an eddsworld fankid and a dick figures fankid
#i dont think i Ever got around to making any other characters i doodled tf out of it in a journal that. idk where it is#lost forever or thrown out which is sort of sad i feel like theres gotta be smth in there....#anyways i think that would be a funny idea for an au still actually but i rewrote the ew kid into a different story#and the mild inspiration for the au gives me the ick i never even read it just thought ''oh big xover cool''#though i think. the ew kid when i first rewrote him i think i gave him a crossover fankid s/o again but idk what the fandom was#cuz i had mentioned it on the blog i was using him on and was vague about it#from context clues in my mind from that time. first year or so of highschool. fucked up it mightve been a tmnt fankid#ALSOOOOO so everyone can rest well. the ew fankid was the kid of one of the main guys BUT!!! the mom is never specified#and i dont think i had a mom in mind the kid looks like 99% like his dad#the dick figures girl was blue x pink obviously. was her name pink. the fankid was called magenta#i swear there was at least 1 other character i mightve had when i first made it. but that would be in Lost Journal#i bet if i kept it going i wouldve had a htf kid or a charlie the unicorn kid cuz i was sick in the heeeaaaaddd#i never posted like anything about it. 1 pic on dA long deleted and talked abt them to The RP Girl#i still love the ew kid dearly but its bc i saved him from That#ACTUALLY THE EXTRA FUNNIEST FCKING THING WAS IN CHATS for some reason despite how eddsworld is#i accidentally implied the fankid was. born in canada. cuz im canadian and it leaked into the writing#DUNNO WHAT THE EW GUY WOULD BE DOING IN CANADA but that detail which i only realized NOW is rlly funny to me i want it canon
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
me in class when i should be concentrating on physics (fundamental quantities): what if i'm not gay but bi????????
#no but really#what if#what if i'm actually into guys but i tricked myself into thinking i'm not cuz i've never had any close friends#thinking again nvm i actually had guy friends#but they (literally one boy) turned out to be a homophobic piece of shit#but still???#what if?#ik i'm into girls#and i did think i was bi before saying i'm lesbian (figuring out yk)#but that wasn't that long ago#literally figured out i was a lesbian in nov-dec 2023 (referred to journal for this)#omggg hasn't even been a full year#feels like a long time tho#i'm getting side-tracked#sorry#oh welp#time to re-read the lesbian masterdoc (i've questioned like this before and come back even more sure that i'm lesbian)#but anyway#i made a friend in my new school today!!!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#hiding this in the tags bc it’s kind of embarrassing and i need to get it off my chest#and i could journal about it but i just want someone to see me#sorry for being cringe <333#but i don’t know what the hell i am like i don’t know if i’m even nonbinary anymore and that scares me like being nonbinary felt like coming#home after a long trip#and now i’m having all these thoughts about wanting to be a man? like near tears rn bc i want to be a guy but then when i think of actually#being a guy i freak out a bit#bc i like being seen as feminine too and i know that there are feminine men and they get treated so terribly#and i feel like all the men i see that i want to be like or look like are white! why don’t i see any black trans men like i feel so alone#and i’m scared to look/be openly trans bc there’s so much violence against people like us that it feels safer to just cosplay as a cis woman#even though i’m not#like i don’t want to be a boy but i want to be one and i absolutely don’t want to be a girl but i’d like to be seen as someone sometimes#it’s all very confusing#AND like i know i’m biromantic like im attracted to all genders and people#but im like? am i on the ace spectrum#bc i have a low sex drive am often sex repulsed and will sometimes ‘test’#myself to see if im sexually attracted to people and most of the time it’s like#it’s like meh not really but sometimes im like sure but that’s rarer and rarer these days?? and like. tmi here but i jerk off and enjoy it#so i can’t be asexual right?? i tried looking it up but the articles just confused me#but then i also am like with the right person if i had a connection to them i wouldn’t mind having sex with them! but like. then i think#about actually having to be in a relationship and i’m like gross no but i think that’s just relationship trauma and fear of being#vulnerable#and like i know i don’t HAVE to have a label on my gender or sexuality but for me personally it helps to know What i am#and and i love butches so so so much and if i’m a man how can i love butches? like#it’s all so confusing#i feel like i’m 14 and going through puberty again
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#tw abuse#so I had this woman in my life that was my mother figure from the time I was 17 to 24#she always said that I was her special person and she would never abandon me#the ironic thing is that..long story short…she ended up being v emotionally manipulative and abusive#and ended up ghosting me because I stood up for myself and set boundaries 🤡#even though I only met her in the first place as someone that was going to be in my life and advocate for me while I was in foster care#these are volunteers though and not actual people with knowledge about the system and psychology#not to say everyone is that way in that program#but I’ve heard horror stories and mine certainly has been#I was gaslit and manipulated and torn down#I need to process this in therapy but something bigger always comes up#and I still think it’s all my fault even though this woman is literally in her 70s now#anyway#thank u for listening guys#I don’t have many people irl I can talk to so this is my current journal#!!#personal
7 notes
·
View notes