#I actually don't really remember wh i made this except I was extremely tired and thought everything was funny as a result

[fitzfunnymoments]

I'm 2 days late but happy 1 year anniversary to one of the worst things that has ever obliterated my laptop while I was working on it <3

[scattered--pages]

For the Lukanette lyrical prompt: "And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't/So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road/And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope/It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat", cause Florence is love

Notes: Ummm, so, I love you?! Because Florence really is love and omg this song ♡ Thank you heaps for this prompt, dear!!

Send me lyrics as a prompt for a Lukanette ficlet or a drabble? ♡

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Shake It Out

Rating: Teen+

Word count: 2759 (okay, whoops, this ended up being longer than I planned  ♡)

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About a year and a half has passed since Marinette has received the humbling, but painfully difficult task of being the Guardian of all the Miraculous. It was a role that was exhilarating, beyond exciting, a chance to grow like none other before and it ended up brining far more positive things along than she thought it ever would. However – after a very good start and after almost a year of handling everything somewhat well, Marinette got tired. Stressed. And afraid. And so, this also brought far more negative effects in ways she didn’t really even imagine initially.

Of course, the ever-rising thought of her making a wrong mistake, a bad choice, a slip-up with consequences far too grave and any or all of these resulting in the doom of entire Paris or the fate of the Miraculous, but the consequences she failed to predict were the ones affecting her personal life. Marinette’s life, not that of Ladybug.

 And there were truly moments where the line between the two faded. Where she was suddenly skipping school or being late so much and so often that it reached the level where the principle had to alert her parents and she almost got expelled, all the while being horrified and desperate in finding ways to justify her actions because, of course, she couldn’t say the truth. She could never say the truth about this. Or the time when each new threat arising in the city due to the re-empowered Hawkmoth/Mayura team started suddenly bubbling up so much internal pressure for her that she was forced to find a way to first deal with her own genuine, painful and terrifying panic attacks before she could transform and deal with the actual attack taking place outside.

Or when the more outspoken and brave Ladybug overtook the typical ‘Marinette’ in certain situations of extreme emotional hurt or vulnerability, causing her to distance herself from a few friends of hers due to her growing either too withdrawn from them or, on the other side of this spectrum, to lash out suddenly in select moments of jealousy or even slight anger. Being a Miraculous Guardian at the tender age of now 16 was insanely challenging to say the least and even though this fact only started to truly catch up with her recently, it affected both her and those around her enough to cause an overwhelming amount of worry, anger and frustration from all sides. Except from one person.

And as she paced along the Seine nervously, back and fort, during what was supposed to be a calming walk for her, in her civilian form, this particular calming voice was what snapped her back from her over-thinking mind back to reality.

“Marinette?”

She jumped a bit, even though the voice didn’t really startle or scare her, as much as it simply surprised her.

“Luka? Wh-What are you doing here?”, she wrapped her arms around her, suddenly aware of the slight chill outside, her cardigan far too thin for an early spring evening by the river such as this one.

He smiled a sad, worried smile at this and proceeded to take his jacket off. “My home is right there, remember?”, he teased gently, nodding towards a boat a bit more downstream along the river’s flow as he pulled his jacket around her.

“Oh…!”, Marinette followed the direction with her gaze and her jaw dropped slightly. She didn’t realize she managed to pace back and forth and here and there for so long and so out of focus of reality that she managed to reach all the way to here without even realizing it. “But, n-no, no!”, she attempted to slowly shrug the jacket off, “You’re going to freeze!”, her hands reached to get it off and hand it back to Luka but by placing both of his won hands against her shoulders carefully but firmly with a teasing smile, he made any attempts of detaching said jacket from her body near impossible, to which she even frowned slightly, causing him to instantly chuckle and shake his head.

“I’ll be fine, even without the jacket, I’m wearing a sweater that’s even slightly too warm for my taste, and I’ll honestly feel worse if you freeze when I can do something to help that.”

She exhaled, her expression suddenly that of sorrowful, almost guilty confusion.

“Why are you still putting up with me?”

He simply shrugged, the playful hold on her shoulders easing as he stroke them with his thumbs gently. “Because I care. Because a lot of people care about you and it breaks my heart that you seem to not believe that.”

Her expression now remained the same, as well as the emotions it carried, save for the sad smile that she added to it slowly, her head tilting to the side a bit.

“Except, a) I’ve been horrible to everyone and about pretty much everything lately and b)…”, her gaze flickered to the side a few times, cheekbones reddening in a way that made her grateful for the fact that the streetlight reflecting from the water’s clear surface wasn’t that strong of a light source at all, “… you care about me… differently…”

“You know…”, Luka now returned her sad smile, only it carried a different background entirely, his eyes drifting to the floor while he started to slowly let go of her, “I’m an idiot because I… don’t think I even really asked you if you minded that…” He prepared to step back but, within a second, Marinette’s hands were on his, keeping them in place.

“No, no!”, she was surprised by how quickly and confidently she said that, but a much as it made her face feel like it was completely burning now, she didn’t take it back. “Luka, you… Know I dont.”

And true, he had a reason to believe so. They weren’t in a relationship or anything like that yet, like Kagami and Adrien or Nino and Alya were, not officially, but they were spending majority of their time together, in their civilian forms and, of course, unbeknownst to them, in their Miraculous forms as well. More than that, they grew incredibly close quite fast. To the point that now, almost a year since Marinette made a point to get over Adrien, Adrien was just a friend and an occasional fleeting painful sting at her heart, but the majority of her affection and her emotions were now finally allowed to belong to Luka. To the point that they have already had a couple of brief moments of weakness resulting in a kiss, but nothing more was said or done. And because of the latter fact, because it was nothing more, Luka didn’t dare to be convinced that this was a confirmation of anything or to push or prod, but this time, he felt he needed to push slightly in the opposite direction in order to prevent himself from pushing on in this one.

Still, even after her hands gripped his and she, very determinately, kept him close to her, he didn’t know how to react, instead only staying still for a second, followed up by a barely noticeable quiver of his lower lip as he opened his mouth to speak but found himself unable to. She noticed though.

Her broken smile widened slightly. “I’m… being selfish, actually. There’s this… someone, erm…”, she shook her head, trying desperately to remain as vague as possible, “ …something, taking over my life and my composure a lot for awhile now, very incresingly so, and vou’re the only thing keeping me grounded and sane lately and… always have been one of the few people making me feel safe and sure of myself and, at least due to this, I really don’t want to let you go…”

What she said was a partial lie, but for once, he didn’t catch it.

“So it’s…”, he took a breath and nodded firmly, more as a way to keep himself strong than anything else, “… just because of that…” Suddenly he made sure to quickly continue, “And I want you to know it’s perfectly fine if it is, I’ll still be your fr-”

“No…” It escaped Marinette’s lips without her control. But once again, she didn’t regret it or take it back. This newly found courage paired with an impaired capability of hiding her feelings at least had some good uses, it seemed. “No, it’s not just that.”

Stunned yet again, Luka stayed silent, looking back into her eyes, running her words in his head over and over again to make sure he understood them right this time until a melody reached them, played from a near-by cafe, catching his attention.

And when he looked back at her, he smiled again.

“That… something, that’s keeping you down… You never told me everything, so I’m sorry if I don’t always manage to make you feel better as best as I could…”, she was already prepared to counter him on this immediately, but he simply placed a finger against her lips, “… but there’s something I haven’t tried yet.”

Against his touch, her lips formed a small puzzled frown, which was a vision so beautiful and adorable to him that he could have kissed her right then and there and never let her go.

“You know, one of the best ways to get rid of a lot of negative emotions, expectations or fears…”, letting go of her, he moved away slightly and outstretched one of his hands, “…is dancing.” He cocked his head to the side, asking a question without words.

“Oh, nooo, n-no, no, no… I don’t dance, or to be more precise, I’m quite sure I can’t dance!”

“Everyone can dance”, he shrugged with a soft smile, “I’m not asking you to waltz with me or do the tango”, he grinned and she chuckled, “I’m just asking you to dance.”

She bit her lips, feeling a very slight hesitation… but took his hand, nonetheless.

“Okay…”, she smirked, “Teach me.”

Reciprocating her smirk, he took her hand and slowly pulled her closer until they started moving into almost a slow-dancing kind of way. He spun her around and then back into his arms and there was something about how easily and naturally he did that, something about that gorgeous crooked smile he was giving her, just inches from her face, that made Marinette feel incredibly warm and exhilarated in the way, she came to find, only he could make her feel. But they weren’t at the cool, calming ice rink now. And the breezy spring evening was suddenly not cold enough to keep her as in check as she wanted to keep herself whenever he did something that caused this beautiful, dizzy feeling to arise inside her that quickened her heart and breath.

But, for once, perhaps because she so desperately needed something like this, she didn’t want to fight getting lost in a moment like this one. She craved and needed the way he made her feel, safe and wild at the same time, feeling just secure enough to almost be able to let go completely. Marinette never felt like that. Marinette never acted like that. Not even as Ladybug, not even at the peaks of her confidence. But with him, it just happened. And normally, she would wonder over and over again in her head if he could somehow sense this, how he’s literally driving her crazy in a way, if he thought her to be a foolish, silly girl for letting him affect her this much, especially since she practically rejected him at first and since, ironically, she felt that all of these feelings became immensely obvious and accentuated after she removed any barriers that she once upon a time used to carefully set in front of the emotions that were steadily growing for him because she wanted them kept down and silenced for Adrien. But not now. She moved with him and laughed with him and let him sway and spin her in his arms and she could swear she never felt more alive.

It was a couple’s dance of sorts, the one that they were sharing, but it wasn’t defined by any specific set of steps or movements, more like a combination, actually. And that was the beauty of it, it was just defined by – them. And as the music picked up its tempo and volume slightly and she found herself dipped down in a way that perhaps started teasingly and playfully, she could feel her heart wanting to burst in warm sparks in her chest sparkling and spreading through her torso in a way she didn’t expect so suddenly. It felt like sparks flowing down her body and as it instinctively caused her to bite on her lower lip, she could have sworn that she felt his breathing hitch for a moment. Because the way he leaned over her, pulled her waist against his, much closer and tighter than at the ice rink, as he started to pull her slowly back up, eyes staring into each other without blinking, bodies close to the point she could feel the tempo of his breathing through the movements of his chest against her… It flipped some sort of a switch inside her. Everything has been so wrong and so irredeemable and so wrong lately, the pressure constantly dropped onto her shoulders unbearable and so strong that she was fully convinced she truly couldn’t handle it at all. But now, here, with him, like always, all of her feelings just floated to the surface. Or perhaps rushed, ran and instantly flooded to the surface would be a better description of what she was feeling when he leaned his shoulder down against her, breathing heavily, as two teal eyes peered right inside of her and made her melt. And, for once, Marinette was completely and entirely sure that at least for now, she was enough. She was strong. She was alive. Her skin was burning and the air flowing heavily through her lungs at a tempo she wasn’t used to felt like breathing for the first time in months. There was no way on Earth she was letting this go. There was no way in hell she was suppressing anything tonight. As a rebellion against Hawkmoth wanting to see her destroyed, against people who knew her and were ready to judge or leave her when she was clearly going through something akin to a nightmare, against any residual feelings for Adrien and against this whole nightmare as a whole – Marinette was going to grip paradise tonight, she’s going to be young, and free and hungry and loved and to hell with anything else.

She was fire and she wasn’t blushing or pulling back this time or looking away and still, still Luka was careful and doubtful, his gaze searching hers hopeful but confused. And somehow this, the heart and patience and kindness of the boy in her arms tipped her over the brink and without being able to even control or plan it, her lips crashed against his… And they stayed like that for a second, two, before his lips caressed against her lower lip in a way that caused less than a moment to transpire before her teeth grazed his upper lip with her next kiss, then her tongue, and when his tongue just barely brushed up against hers, her mind seemed to have swerved like she was intoxicated, because the next thing she realized was that her hand was tangled in his hair and grasping at his back, pulling him somehow even closer, closer against her, before he lifted her up, swiftly and effortlessly onto a small half-wall behind them and, oh, it made her want to never let him go. She gripped at the firm shape of the small of his back and one of his palms cupped her face, stroking her lip as he kissed it hungrily, the other running against her outer thigh and something between them must have been electric because they both shivered at the same time and chuckled sweetly against each other’s lips.

There was no care or thought left in her mind other than him. Her head, her heart and her body screamed only Luka. Luka. And only Luka.

Her home.

Her acceptance.

Her freedom.