#I accept it openly. I truly do. But sometimes I feel an ache of “I don't deserve this kindness.” I won't push it away though. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ficauthor · 3 years ago

Link

inspired by the prompt by @danphanwritingprompts:

Danny narrowed his eyes as the Uber arrived at the church, and he finally remembered the occasion. “Wait, Mom? Did we just pregame Vlad’s funeral?” Danny asked. Maddie scowled. “Shut up and act sober. For some reason, your dad loved that miserable creep,” she told him. “It’s the only way to get through the day,” Jazz agreed, fumbling to open the door and step out.

and some other headcannons that I've seen float around tumblr about trans Danny fic below cut if you dont wanna follow the link.

Looking out the window was making him nauseous, like really really nauseous. The kind of nauseous he only got when sick or from a good punch. He knew a thing or two about good punches. He’d been taking them for a few years now.

It really wasn’t fair if you asked him. One should ask him because it was an experience that only he could experience. After all, halfa's were rare as can be. Skulker had certainly told him enough for him to know. Every brush with alcohol in his younger days was, well, a mixed bag. He processed it faster than the average person so he was lucky in that aspect that he got drunk faster. But if anything his messing about with alcohol before he was 21 told him it was that it also left much faster than normal. Bullshit ghost rules and all of that. Genuinely being a ghost even half one had very few upsides. Some people online speculated about how cool ghost powers must be to have but clearly none of them knew about the burden that it came with. Sometimes he still wished that he didn’t know.

However this time for whatever reason the alcohol was hitting him and staying. Maybe it was because the previous times he’d been drinking cheap party booze in Dash’s garage with Sam and Tucker, no one but the three of them aware that they were even there. Instead this time the booze was some semi expensive shit, he didn’t know the name or type but he’d been promised quality. Why he of all people was being given quality alcohol he'd never know but he wasn’t going to turn it down.

That being said seemed the trade off was intense nausea. It wasn’t that bad all things considered, he actually preferred being sloshed for the upcoming event but his body was not agreeing with that. Not that his body agreed with a lot of things. The disagreement between ghost and human sometimes really bit him in the ass. His head was floaty, the world in front of him was spinning badly, maybe it’d be worth it to never drink again. Especially if he was going to have this reaction . If only he’d invited Sam and Tucker. They were great fun and always knew how to reel him in. Man he missed them, if only they didn’t all go to different colleges. But nooo all of their majors just had to have few overlapping colleges. At least they were all within a drives (or in his case a flying) distance. When he wasn’t feeling too sick and unbalanced he’d have to fly over to their dorms for a movie night. It’d be nice. Sam might even be able to get them into someplace cool again.

In a stagnant attempt to push the feeling away he turned away from the window and towards his family. Jazz was studying a text on her phone. Probably a message from her girlfriend at university. Maybe she was inviting her. That’d be nice. She seemed nice when he’d saved her as Phantom a month ago, then everyone was nice when their life had just flashed before their eyes and they were rescued from it’s visions. Even when he and Valerie were on the worst of terms he was always grateful when ever she rescued him in either form. Bar Johnny 13 his sisters' taste in partners wasn’t actually all that bad. He actually liked her last girlfriend. Even then with Johnny he wasn’t sure how much of that was actually her taste and how much was Kitty’s possession.

Certainly Jazz’s apprehension couldn’t be blamed, three of her previous partners both highschool and college were driven away by how weird their family was. She claimed she was fine with it, something about them not truly accepting all parts of her but still. That sucked. School had been rough enough, he couldn’t even count the amount of people that had been weirded out from being his friend because of his parents. Well there was also his reputation but his parents being renowned ghost hunters and chaotic town kooks certainly did not help. Looking back on it more of that might have actually been on his reputation. A nerd with A+ grades until highschool only to then end up with Ds on the best of days and bruises on the worst. Yeah some of that was probably on him.

Jazz gave him a look, he’d spaced out and looked at her for too long, it was weird now. He gave her a shrug and turned to their mother.

Laughing would be rude; he had to remind himself when he spotted her dancing along to the car radio in her dorky adult grooving. It was peaceful in a way. A down time he didn't usually get to appreciate before something bad (normally ghosts) interrupted. It was almost nice in a way to be calm with his mom and sister. Even if the former looked really really stupid.

He snorted anyway at his mom’s dance moves. Discombobulated shoulder jerks and little hand motions mixed in with little head rolls that had no rhyme or reason. It was wildly out of beat and didn’t match the tone of the song on radio. It was definitely the kind of dancing that Tucker would disparagingly call “white people shit”. The thought alone of Tucker's pain at his parents' dance moves was almost enough to send him into hysterics.

Man he missed Tucker.

He’d have to check in on Tucker soon, since he started the latest school assignment he’d sort of ghosted everyone, for the lack of a better word. It was probably the stress of dealing with his assignment partners, he’d done the same last time. Still… in a town and world with ghosts it couldn't hurt to try to check in on him. Tuck was a big boy now he could hold his own in a ghost fight but he didn’t like the idea of leaving him to it. Call him what you will but obsessions were just like that.

Maybe he was a little possessive.

Just a touch.

“Oh Danny!” his mom squealed as a new song filtered in. The Uber driver rolled his eyes, clearly he thought no one could see him but Danny caught it in the rear view mirror. ” I love this song, isn't it rad!”

He tried not to laugh, he really did, but it was so ridiculous. His parents were doing this on purpose! They had to be! There was no way that they weren’t no one was that out of touch. That behind on lingo. Warm giggles and chuckles bubbled forth, messy and loud. The kind of laugh only those closest to him could coax out of him. Back in school it was only Tuck and Sam that got him to laugh like that (maybe Jazz if she was lucky) make him lose his composure so quickly, but more and more readily his parents had been able to also force the laughs out of him.

If only fourteen year old him could see him now. He’d be so embarrassed. Sitting in the back of an Uber laughing openly at something silly his mom was doing. She said something he couldn’t catch, teased him probably for laughing. A random pop song and the air coming in from the drivers open window were just loud enough to cover even a raised voice. Even still the there was comfort. Whatever she said was from a place of love.

He loved car rides sometimes. He didn’t always appreciate them when he was younger, kind of like how he felt about his parents. Especially when he was 14 but now? They were some of his favourite times spent with his parents. He just couldn’t help it, something about the rolling scene and music with easy conversation lulled him. It helped keep his obsession at bay, blocking it from flaring if he could see that some of the most important people in his life were there, in front of him safe and sound.

He still ached. Felt that compulsion to check Sam and Tuck. Rather than scream like normal it was a soothing whisper. He was able to drunkenly send them a text about how much he loved them without the skin crawling need to see that they were still standing.

The Uber slowed to a crawl, the Sudan squealing as they stopped. Man that guy really needed to replace his breaks. He could get in a wreck and then whoever he was ferrying around could get seriously hurt.

No!

He shook his head; he couldn't let his obsession obsess on something so small. It was probably safe to look out of the window again so he chanced a look. Danny narrowed his eyes as the Uber arrived at the church, and he finally remembered the occasion.

“Wait, Mom? Did we just pregame Vlad’s funeral?” Danny asked.

Maddie scowled,“ Shut up and act sober. For some reason, your dad loved that miserable creep,” she told him.

“It’s the only way to get through the day,” Jazz agreed, fumbling to open the door and step out.

Damn he hadn’t meant to forget the occasion but he couldn’t help it his mind was already prone to wandering and the alcohol was just making it worse. Really it was a miracle he passed highschool in the first place, even when sober his mind just struggled to latch onto subjects, and that was before he had to nightlight as Phantom, hell it wasn’t even nightlighting it was a full double life. Really he didn't even know how he was managing college with the heroing on the side. Best guess if he was pressed to give one was that his parents’ disappointment and the desire to go to space was combining into the ultimate peer pressure. Funny how his brain worked like that, maybe Jazz could explain that to him. She was good for stuff like that. Explanations for why his brain was weird. She tried to give him an acronym for it one time something with A's. An attention thing of some sort. He'd have to ask her about it again sometime so he could wrap his mind around it.

“Hey!” Jazz opened the door, her face inches from his, the scent of some fruity cocktail on her breath,” get out Danny, and remember, act normal. At least for dad’s sake.”

“Yeah,” he waved her off stumbling to his feet, honestly it wasn’t fair that the ground was so unsteady beneath him, kind of transphobic if you asked him. “If you wanted me to act normal then why’d we all get plastered?” he joked.

“Shush,” Jazz clamped a hand on his face, their slow amble up the church's many steps paused. “Don’t lick a gift horse in the mouth Danny, you know this will be insufferable.”

He licked her hand, she recoiled, wiping the spit off on her fancy black dress.

“Danny!”

He stuck out his tongue in retaliation.

“Behave, ”she chided.

He rolled his eyes and followed her. It was just a funeral, what was the worst they could get into?

The second he stepped in the church threshold he knew. It put his whole body on edge, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and the faintest trickled of mist? ghost vaper? Ghost breath? He actually had no clue what it was that came out of his mouth.

Well he never really understood what he was saying half the time anyways, his mouth had a habit of running out from under him. The worst case of that was just the other week, he was talking to Sam over skype about something and he’d forgotten that she knew about Phantom, how really he had no clue, and he just went on for about twenty minutes making some out there wild excuse for why he’d missed their last hang out when she’d stopped him.

Honestly it was getting embarrassing, even worse was trying to keep things he said to his parents in each form separate. He really had to tell them soon.

It was so easy when he was 14 the breadth of his conversations with them as Phantom at the time could be summed up with a snarky quip from him or a “I’m gonna dissect you” from them. Now though they seemed to be fully taking seriously the notion that ghosts had depth to them. Which while true was deeply inconvenient for him. That meant he had to have interactions with them as Phantom and keep his identity straight ( ha ). Maybe he should be grateful, they weren’t threatening to dissect him anymore that was certainly a plus, they still definitely wanted to examine him however. He had considered it, in the depth of the night, allowing them to examine him only to drop the transformation part way through. It’d be funny, just a little bit to catch them off guard like that. But they didn’t deserve a coming out like that. He stifled a groan, he thought he was done with the closet when he’d come out but no life just had to never end and add in ghosts.

“Danny,” Jazz hissed at him.

He slurred out a huh at her in confusion.

Damn he’d been staring out at nothing, the Pastor? Priest? He didn’t know the difference to be honest, was still talking about Vlad. Shit that’s right! The second he’d walked in his ghost sense had gone haywire, Vlad was still (half) alive in that plush ass casket. He wondered how bad it'd be to fake a stomach ache and transform into Phantom for some ass kickery. Knowing his luck though Vlad might just feign full death embrace just to make a fool of him.

He would do that, fake his death, hell he was doing it right now! Motive was still unclear to him but Danny was going to get to the bottom of it. The man at the front, religious figure of whatever denomination, was gesturing large and big as he wrapped up. It was really official, and stuffy, when he finally fully died he wanted his funeral to be nothing like this. Maybe Tuck's ideas of dramatic funeral pranks were where it was at. Or maybe even Sam's ideas of celebratory parties that remembered the dead's life. He wouldn’t object to either of those.

Alcohol was fading out of his system again, well it’d been nice while it’d lasted but it’d probably be best to not be sloshed if Vlad wanted to cause a scene.

He sat at the edge of his seat as his father came up for a speech.

“Vlad,” his father stopped to blow his nose,” Vlad was a good friend of mine in college, w-we,” his lip trembled, his large jaw hammering up and down as he stammered for words. It took everything in Danny to not sink into the pew bench in embarrassment. Jack was for all intensive purposes the only person in the entire church that seemed genuinely broken up about the billionaire’s death.

“We drifted apart for a while, and he’d just started to come back to mine and my wife's lives a few years ago and- and- I-I sorry,” he winced as his fathers voice died.

While he didn’t understand his fathers affection for the man his heart couldn't help but ache for the man’s sorrow. His father had such a large heart. He was so trusting and held so much affection in his large beating heart. It was a weakness and a strength. One his mother often said he inherited. He didn’t know if he could see it. He wasn’t so soft, so trusting, so eager to love and care as his father. Then the larger man hadn’t been burned the same. Hadn’t had his heart half electrocuted to death like him.

His mom walked up on the stage, he was briefly impressed by her composure, she was buzzed but also in heels and looked to all the church exceedingly well put together. Quietly she was speaking her hands gently on Jack’s shoulders patting his back soothingly. She often sold herself short. Stating her heart not to be as big, Danny didn’t believe that, not really, his mother was just more careful in those she let in.

“I wasn’t as close to him as my husband,” she admitted, having softly taken the mic from Jack. her fingers were curled around it softly, but her other hand was in her hair. She was fidgeting and searching for words,” but I’m sure those he was close to will miss him dearly.” she said tight lipped. Jack whispered something to Maddie quietly making her smile tightly and nod. The man moved to his seat and let his wife continue his speech in his stead.

It was nothing notable really, Danny wasn’t one for paying attention to speeches or lectures and a funeral would not be an exception. He caught a few snippets though, his moms implication that she liked him better in college. A line hoping that in death that he could hopefully move on from the past. He really tried to not laugh at that one clearly because she'd noticed the exes. How many of them had known before? How many of the exes had to learn of their blueprint right then and there in the funeral.

Still he sat teetering on the edge of his seat, half paying attention to her words and mind half trained on that open casket. Vlad lay there in the plush box waiting. What for he couldn’t tell yet but he wasn’t going to be caught unaware.

The speeches couldn’t have ended any slower in his opinion. He wished that the alcohol hadn’t run it’s course already. It was so much easier to get through shit when his mind was quieted and his obsession was dulled. Instead he was forced to wait, his waking obsession tearing at his insides making him wait. Watch the lingering guests with apprehensive eyes. A few were expected. Gaggle of divorced exes. Some smattering of people that vaguely had Vlad's chin and nose. It was bizarre, some looked wildly like him and others well. They were utter strangers to Danny. They all were but they seemed almost faceless in how unknown they were. Interestingly none of them really seemed that choked up. He’d never expected troves of people depressed about Vlad’s passing. Still to only have one sobbing mourner? Maybe they just grieved differently...

Yeah maybe.

About when he got his water from the refreshments table he realized that Vlad really wasn't pulling a stunt. Still he had no clue why he was in that damn casket if he was still (half) alive in there. He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all, his worst nightmare was being trapped in one of those, yet Vlad had clambered in willing foot after foot laying stricken and board straight for all that he knew to see him. It didn’t make sense. There had to be some trick.

There had to be.

He thought maybe after his father had bowed his head over the casket head in hands loud body wracking sobs shaking his shoulders that Vlad might then spring to life (ha) and attack them. No, instead he remained laying in that coffin, the soft plush pillow under his head holding him still, the flowers in hand still clutched in strict fingers. He must have some sort of long con going on then. Some sort of goal he was aiming to reach by laying stricken and dead.

Wouldn’t be the first time the man had pulled a bizarre stunt. The time he’d kidnapped Danny and his mom sprang to mind. But there were few situations that came to mind where faking one’s death could come in handy.

A severe looking man walked up to him a small plate of hors d'oeuvres in hand. Sam would hate the sight of the small snacks, not a single one was vegetarian. And Tuck? He’d be laughing his head off at the name and size. He really had to rope them into a trip to the movies or arcade sometime soon.

The man greeted him, straightening his professional looking tie as he spoke. The man was exceedingly out of place, in a clean and crisp business suit that hardly matched the tone of mourning clothes. Then his parents were wearing their jumpsuits under their fancy clothes so glass houses and all that.

The man was painfully dull giving Danny his condolences in a rather stilted and clunky tone. The man clearly didn't want to be there. He raised an eyebrow at the man as he finally asked how he knew the ‘deceased’.

Telling the man something to the effect of, “Just through my parents,” somehow making it clear to the man that he wasn’t particularly choked up by the billionaire's death. Gee he wondered what gave it away, his flat unaffected tone? Or the fact that Vlad was a billionaire with no moral backbone.

Huh, he must really be missing Sam a lot to be thinking like that. he hated to admit it but she was kinda right.

Business suit was disinterested in conversation with Danny after that, he hastily wrapped up the conversation. Man even muttered “shame.” under his breath, if Danny wasn’t half dead he wouldn't have caught it. But well nothing ever really worked out well for bureaucrats did it?

Had Vlad seriously faked his death to avoid paying a few measly bucks? The man was a billionaire! He must really owe them a mean amount of money for them all to arrive at the funeral like this. Maybe they hoped the will would work in their favour? Not far in front of the refreshment table were two suits talking unabashedly about the amounts that Vlad owed them. If it weren’t for the setting Danny would think that they were coming or going from an important meeting.

For what was probably the first time he properly looked at all of the guests. Actually taking them in, a good chunk like he’d noticed before were the exes that half looked like his mom, and their kids (hopefully they weren’t biologically Vlads). Then there were the vague family members that looked like Vlad watered down with kindness. But the rest? Suits and-

Oh.

Oh he had to step behind an archway and stuff a fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud. Vlad had fucking bounty hunters being sent after him! It was karmic, he had to stop himself from busting a gut right then and there in the middle of a church. It was already blasphemy enough to be the walking dead he didn't want to also throw in disrespecting the (only mostly) dead into the mix.

Well at least they weren’t all debtors, lurking around the corners and edges of the room was a guy he’d worked with as Phantom a few years ago. He was kind of hot in a rugged sort of way. If it weren’t for Sam and Tuck he’d have considered flirting seriously with the other man. As it was his joking flirting got him in trouble with the other two.

He was really acting up being normal, that rugged man. Mingling about with other people dressed neatly.

Clear to only Danny what he was, what the others like him were, the man wandered unaware that Danny was watching him. Ironically he only knew they were bounty hunters because Vlad had hired the rugged man and his crew to hunt Phantom that time a few years ago and now? Oh the tables have turned. Someone, maybe one of the exes, or the debtors wanted him dead. Damn what had Vlad done?

Ghost Zone inhabitants had mixed opinions on him, many of which wanted him dead or knocked down a peg. But that was the Ghost Zone, half of them wanted Danny dead at some point or another. This was the human world. Earth and shit, it was much harder to piss off someone to the level of murder. Not impossible but damn. He grinned at this, Vlad was (half) alive and (sorta) well in that casket and he couldn’t do anything if he started to stir shit up. Life was beautiful, twinkling and gorgeous, he decided. He Didn’t need Tucker and Sam to have fun.

He started with one of the exes. He went out of his way to ignore her dyed red hair and pale purple eyes as he talked with her. It wasn’t her fault that Vlad had a complex, he reminded himself as the woman talked. Fault couldn’t be pinned on her for the parallels he could search between his mother and her. She was nice in a weird way, again really like his mom. It was unnerving. He kept trying to ignore her beady eyed gremlin of a child as she talked to him about the will.

Whatever Vlad had done for all the people in his life to only care about the will and the will alone Danny wanted to do the express opposite. It was almost painful in a way to watch all of these people act like they weren’t only here for the money. Served the man right, it was still depressing, the man had everything on paper but not a damn thing in reality.

“Do you think his daughter will show?” he tactfully added into the conversation after the woman had made some condolences about his family and Vlad.

“Daughter?” the woman asked, her large eyes blinking slowly,” I'm sure you're mistaken, Vlad told me he doesn’t have kids.”

“Oh,” he said, feigning apology, inside he was loving this, sure Vlad couldn’t admit the truth about the clones but clearly the man had seriously left out some details to his ex lovers. “Are you sure? ‘Elle is nineteen now,” he said, it was technically true if you counted right. She was also only seven if you counted right. It was all about semantics.

“Ninete-” the woman stammered something hard settling in her eyes,” he told me he didn’t want to have children,” she looked down at her angry eyed child (he hoped the little dude didn’t kick him in the shin) who had a hand fisted in the end of her dress. “If you’ll excuse me, Daniel, this was an- enlightening conversation.” he watched her walk away to a woman with a big chunky bracelet.

Also a redhead. Of course.

A sharp pain seared in the top of his ear he prevented himself from yowling out as the fingers attached dragged him over to a corner.

"ow ow ow," he whined out quietly trying heard not to draw attention to himself. It didn't really work.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jazz hissed at him when they were hidden away from the rest of the group.

“First of all: ow!” He rubbed his ear delicately between his finger pads,” I’m not a child anymore, maybe borderline sibling abuse was funny in 80’s sitcoms but it's not anymore.”

Jazz rolled her eyes,” second of all?” she pressed, she was still slightly buzzed and yet she was still holding herself with so much composure. Kind of impressive, if she hadn’t just physically threatened to rip his ear off.

“Secondly I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Not do-” Jazz floundered,” Daniel!” she hissed out again struggling to keep her tone low. Damn she was mad, she only pulled out the full name when really fucked up,” I know your relationship with Vlad was- complicated.”

He snorted,” he tried to kill me multiple times, Jazz.”

“Yes bu-”

“Dark Dan,’’ he pressed further.

“I get it!” she snapped in a whisper-shout,” but a funeral isn-”

“He isn’t dead Jazz. Or really fully dead I guess I should say,” he laughed

Jazz rolled her eyes,” This is concerning behaviour Danny.”

“W-what?” he asked.

She tapped her chin pensively, she was psychoanalyzing him again, gag, “You must be transferring your complicated feeling about him into-”

“Jazz,” he groaned. It was best to stop her before she got on a roll, “Ghost senses remember? He’s still not fully dead, I can tell. He faked his death.”

“Okay,” she said with a sigh," I'm not saying I believe you, but say he did fake his death-”

“He did.”

She shot him a look, “Why? Why would he fake his death? He’s a rich ceo multi-billionaire with more money than most of us can conceive of, nonetheless actually obtain, what does he get out of faking his death?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, this was easier when Jazz was talking to one of Vlad’s cousins ignoring him stirring the pot.

He explained what he’d pieced together so far, with the suits and hunters lurking around the edges of the room it was easy to point out how out of place they look. Slowly a realization fell on her face, an acceptance of what he was saying.

“When I was talking to the stepford exes they were all talking about who would get the estate.”

“Do they know who?” he asked.

Jazz shook her head,” no the will was kept really secretive from all of them. There was even a bit of an altercation from two of the younger ex girlfriends over it.”

He winced at that, he couldn’t blame them for being mad he just wished Vlad wasn’t faking death for them to take it out on. “The bottle red and the one with the big bracelet?” he prompted, remembering the end of his conversation with the former.

“No that’s Maddison and Maggie, the two that fought were Morgan and Melenie.”

“Maddison? Maggie? Morgan? Melenie?” he repeated with a grimace voice getting higher with each name.

“Yeah I know,” she said with a sigh,” a textbook case of projecting an ex, or in this case crush, on future partners leading to a string of failed relationships,” she frowned looking over at the group of clustered red heads. Danny followed and examined them, they were all looking at something their eyes occasionally darted over to-

Oh of course, mom, they ‘d probably done the math already. He winced at the thought. He’d half thought about it before finding the notion funny. Now in his sparkling sobriety of the evening he couldn’t find the humour.

“At least they all mostly get along,” Jazz offered, trying to look away from how the dozen or so women were looking at the one woman they were all stacked against.

“Really?” he blinked at her,” I’d have thought that they’d all be fighting cause of the- well you know,” he gestured to the, everything, of the situation.

She shook her head,” no, they seem to all understand that it was all on Vlad, two of them, Mackenzie and Melody,” she clarified to even more of his confusion,” even found out that they were seeing him at the same time. How they didn’t know with all of the press that followed him I’ll never know, but they decided to team up on the legal front if there are any issues with the will.”

“Really.”

Jazz nodded,” yeah I was surprised too, but good for them, Vlad went around causing too many issues in their lives.”

He nodded in agreement as he looked at at the sea of redheads, some of them had grown out their hair revealing dark roots, some had hair styled in poufy curls reminiscent of his mothers old style and one of them had completely cut her hair into a half shaved look, it was actually similar to the look that Sam had now.

“Want to cause some problems for him?” he asked.

“Danny, legally and socially he’s dead, what could we do?”

“Legally yeah,” he agreed,” but technically he’s still half alive in there, and can hear everything that people say-”

“Are you suggesting that we ruin his reputation?” Jazz asked with a poorly hidden smile. He loved that in the years she’d loosened up. It was a good look on her, relaxation.

“Ruin?” He said, in mock scandal, ”I'm merely suggesting we bring it down to where it belongs.”

“Oh ‘merely’ what is that a fifth grade word? I'm impressed!” Jazz teased.

He shoved her lightly with a laugh,” oh fuck off I’m in college now you know.”

“Really? Accredited and everything?”

He stifled his laugh,” shut up, you know dealing with ghost shit messed with my grades.”

Truthfully he’d expected her to joke further about it, to razz him about doing so much, or maybe analyze him, diagnosis him with trauma. Instead she hugged him.

“I’m sorry so much was put on your shoulders so young,” her voice was raw. Too raw.

He patted her back, stomach squirming. Because what was he to do with that? The tender care held for him in the cracks of her fingers. The sorrow that settled in her pores all for him?

“Hey stop that,” he eventually said, pulling back,” or I'll make clockwork take me back in time so you never find out.” He didn’t mean it, he never did.

Jazz laughed a little wetly, he didn’t comment on it. Why would he? Also didn’t get a chance as she ruffled his hair, despite the fact that he was now much taller than her. “People are allowed to care about you, asshole.”

He scrunched his nose up at that,” ew what? I detest affection.”

“Oh detest another good one, really racking up those vocab words huh?” she sniffled her hands on her hips, a little lean in her back as she smirked.

Snorting, he stepped back and fixed his hair,” how about we make this a competition?”

“Huh?”

“First one to make Vlad burst out of his casket and rage in ghost mode wins.”

“Really? What would the winner get?”

He tapped his chin making a humming noise,” how about this, loser has to reveal their secret.”

Jazz laughed nervously,” I don’t have a secret Danny.”

Danny gave her a look,” Jazz, I’ve met your girlfriend.”

She bit her lip looking down at his outstretched hand, a debate playing in her eyes.

“Hey you don’t have to if you don’t wanna,” he said softly,” this is just meant for fun after all.” he knew better than most what forcing this stuff did.

”No, it’s fine,” she took his hand and shook, if a little clumsily,” that doesn’t mean they have to meet her though.”

“Oh don’t worry,” he said,” it won’t be my fault if they do that’ll be entirely on them.”

“Danny!” she exclaimed at him as he fled to the other side of the church. Finally this funeral was going to be interesting!

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked the swaying uncle of Vlad. The man smelled of beer and hors d'oeuvres. Not that Danny could judge if it wasn’t for the thick layer of spray on deodorant that his mom smothered him in right before he got in the uber then he’d probably smell just as rank. Then there was the fact that he’d pregamed to.

The older man narrowed his eyes at Danny, he was shocked to see the man he looked to hardly be much older than Vlad yet he was his uncle? He’d gone to ask about it but thought better about it, the less lore he knew about Vlad’s family the better, he really didn’t want to know about how many kids and when and how the Masters ‘clan’ had. Conversation with the older man was… stilted, to say the least. But he was certain that if he told him something then it wouldn’t get back to him. And that was half the game wasn’t it? Finding a way to spread the most rumours without people finding out it was him or Jazz. All without powers of course, that almost went without saying.

The man didn’t seem too broken up about Vlad, they probably weren’t that close and Danny had always gotten the impression from the billionaire that he was a smidge too snobbish to fully have developed relationships with people. As often as he teased Jazz for being snobby, she at least was nowhere near as bad as Vlad. Man damn near invented snobbishness and assholery. He’d have to ask clockwork if Vlad’s ancestors were just as bad. Judging by some of his family, probably not.

“Well before he passed,” Danny prompted, pausing in a way to snag the older man's attention.

“Yes?” the older man asked when he didn’t continue.

“Well,” Danny fidgeted with his nail,” you know his signed Packers jersey?”

The older man nodded eagerly.

Danny looked to the side,” it’s a fake,” he whispered to the man.

“Really?”

He nodded,” yeah, but please don’t tell anyone,” he added,” it’s bad enough that they know he was banned from buying the team-”

“He was what?”

Danny fought to hide a smirk. He knew it’d be easier to sell this lie if he started smaller.

“I thought everyone knew!”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, most of the town knows, it’s just, no one talked about it to be polite.” okay that might have been overselling it a bit but the distant relative seemed to really be drinking it in.

“What did he do?”

Danny looked side to side like he didn’t want anyone to overhear.

“Well a few years ago when he was closing the deal to buy the team he got caught stalking some of the members!”

“Really?” the uncle asked,” wha- why?”

Danny shrugged,” they never really found the reason he was following them, he was even trying to seduce some of the wives.”

The man gasped,” I- really?”

Danny nodded. “But you can’t tell anyone you have to promise me.”

He watched as the man smiled in what he thought was slyness,” of course! I just, with all of those wives he had!”

Within the next five minutes Danny heard the rumour circulate across the room and it had grown legs. How glorious those rumours legs were.

“I heard he’d tried to break up a marriage on the team!” an ex wife (Maggie maybe?) hissed.

The other ex (Mary? The other woman might have called her) laughed,” would it really be any surprise? With what he did to Morgan and Melenie?”

The first woman nodded sagely,” fair I can’t believe I even fell for his tricks.”

All things considered the rumour was spreading well, and there was not even a gasp of a suggestion that he was the source. He couldn’t wait to hear what Jazz had invented, with the rumbles he’d already started to hear, it was probably great. Jazz always did have a way of getting into people’s heads. Find what interests them the most.

“So this daughter of Vlad's?” the woman he was talking to prompted, he vaguely remembered Jazz saying her name was Maddison. She’d found him again some time later; her child now safely deposited over by the other kids with their group babysitter. They were in the middle of the church now, the other two still whispering about the packers' spouses.

“ ‘Elle?” he asked as if he’d forgotten.

The woman nodded her curls bouncing as she did.

“Can I see a picture of her?”

He pulled up an older photo of them hanging out, the picture was grainy and they were both sticking their tongues out at the camera. Shit he’d really forgotten how alike they looked.

“You both-” the woman said before stopping. She glanced at his parents.

Shit he had to go into damage control,” well she’s also my cousin,” he fibbed.

“Cousin?”

“Yes! Technically once removed? Or something like that, I didn’t meet her until a few years ago, we were really blown away with the family resemblance!” he laughed. "Really it's uncanny!" He continued.

Too far! Too far! He was leaning into it too much! It wasn’t like he could just tell her the truth, that Dani was Vlad's only successful half dead clone of him! Then he’d also have to out two things about himself to her.

“She travels a lot,” he added. He really needed to learn when to shut his big mouth,” she was in Paris a few years ago actually.”

“Really?”

He couldn’t even blame the alcohol! He was just this stupid naturally huh? They’d been saying it for years Sam and Tucker, if only he’d taken them seriously before this. His idiocy might really be terminal.

“Yup, I haven’t seen her in awhile though, hopefully she visits again!”

Scrutinizing eyes scanned him up and down, darting from each corner of his face hunting out the ruse. He really needed to learn to shut his big mouth.

“Do you have her number?”

Crashing noises filled his brain. Her number? The last thing that he had expected was interest in ‘Elle. he’d just thought that they’d get upset at Vlad and leave it at that.

“ ‘E-elle's?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m sorry if this is prying but me and the other ladies,” she gestured to a few of them,” we’re talking and we want to support her!”

“I-” he hesitated, he hadn’t really planned for this,” what?”

The older woman nodded,” we all talked it out and if we get the estate we’re going to support one another and the kids, and it seems like ‘Elle just got stuck in the middle of this like the rest of us.”

“Yeah uh, let me just text her first?”

“Of course honey!”

Danny walked away from that conversation feeling distinctly weirder than before. Regardless he pulled up his phone and slid out the keyboard.

He opened up the “With an I” contact.

Hey i accidentally got you adopted by like fifteen random women that used to date vlad

5:43 p.m.

You what? Lul

5:45 p.m.

He looked up around him before typing out the next message

Yeah long story short he faked his death. Its weird

5:46 p.m.

I’m at the funeral and the exes wanna like support you?

5:46 p.m.

Well Vlad wasn’t good for much but at least i now have a multitude of mothers

5:47 p.m.

So i can give them your number?

5:47 p.m.

Yeah have at it! If this causes chaos for vlad im all for it !

5:48 p.m.

“So her phone number is.”

By the time he’d separated himself from that conversation a few more rumours were floating.

“I heard that the reason he died in a car crash is because he was on the run from the law!” one of vlad's relatives whispered.

“Really!” another responded.

Elsewhere some of the attending staff were murmuring too. “I heard that he got caught smuggling maple syrup cans from canada!”

“Cans?”

“Yes apparently the good stuff is canned there.”

He walked to a new group this time with the suits.

“I hear that the money in the accounts is dirty.”

“According to my source his invested stocks were backed with illegal funds.”

“If there’s drugs really attached to it like I was told then I don't want anything to do with it.”

“I agree it's hard enough to get money from wills with spouses involved. It's even harder if the feds sniff any drugs.”

“It might not even be worth it to try with all of the ladies,” a different suit complained,” I overheard them talking about lawyering up together if anything goes wrong.”

Another much older suit scoffed,” this business was much easier before the exes started working together.”

Finally he heard his own new rumour starting to gain some traction.

“Wasn’t it found out that he was stealing science equipment from the nearby college?”

“Oh whatever for?”

“I heard it was for making a specialty shampoo.”

“I’ve always wondered how he kept his hair so nice and shiny.”

Jazz was good, too good, considering that neither of them had really clicked into any social cliques in highschool. Now she was gossiping better than even any of the A-listers.

“It’s just such a shame that they can’t come,” Jazz was even fake sobbing, damn he was going to have to up his game.

“Who couldn’t come?” One of Vlad's older cousins asked, Danny wondered if Jazz was screaming inside at the hand she had around one of the older exes' waists, it was casual and tender. If one of Vlad's exes was getting together with his cousin because of the funeral , Danny would shriek from laughter, hell if he accidentally used his ghostly wail it’d be well worth it. Vlad of all people deserved to have a partner snatching occur to him.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Jazz said,” I thought that everyone knew,” she looked from side to side,” please don’t tell the other ex wives Monroe I’d hate for their feelings to get hurt over this.”

Damn she was good. The wife- Monroe who was leaning comfortably on the cousin nodded.

“Of course Jazzie,” she said in a deep comforting New York accent,” this can be brought up to them later more delicately later. Though I must admit,” she said after a pause where Jazz thanked her for her discretion.” I myself am curious who wasn’t able to come.”

“Well you know how he used to do ghost research with mom and dad?”

Where was she going with this? She was selling it well, Danny had to admit but for the life of him he couldn’t guess where this was going.

“Yes of course,” the cousin nodded as Monroe spoke.

“I can’t name the amount of times he used to write home in our youth about his little ghost adventures,” the cousin added.

Jazz nodded ,” well at the school there was the Lunch Lady Ghost and the Box Ghost, he was seeing them romantically in between their stays in the ghost zone.”

Danny held back a snort box ghost! If he laughed too hard in that moment he’d drop the ghost form and would fall on top of the group that’d gathered around her. As much control as he’d mastered over his abilities over the past couple years there was nothing that would be able to save him from Jazz’s wit.

“I’m sure box ghost is very helpful for moves,” one of the crowd commented amicably. The others though had nothing to say. Clearly they’d all actually met Box Ghost.

The gossip might have even stayed in that circle if it weren’t for another one of the cousins being right there and then deciding to tell his wife, who then told one of the ex-wives, who then told another, who then told a suit. So on and so forth.

By the time that Danny was back in human form and settled on the opposite side of Jazz’s conversation he was hearing the children that some of the wives had brought talking about Vlad ‘holding hands’ with the Box Ghost and Lunch Lady. Why couldn’t he have thought about that? It was so good, it was perfect, literally no one could prove it wrong. And embarrassing, seriously Box Ghost!

All the stuff he knew to be true about Vlad sounded so far-fetched.

Half ghost?

Well most people didn’t know about them.

The time he infected his two closest and longest friends with ghost pimples?

Needed the half ghost context.

If only there was some-

“I hate Vlad!” one of the kids near him cried out stomping down his foot.

Unsurprisingly all of the kids agreed, okay he was a little surprised, usually Vlad had the wool pulled over on most people. So the fact that all of these kids hated him really meant something.

“He stole my cotton candy at the fair!”

“Well he told me that I didn’t need to see daddy anymore cause he was gonna replace him!”

Eager ears pointed at them he drank in their every complaint. He’d known that Vlad was cartoonish levels of evil for awhile (see the infecting teens with ghost acne for personal gain as proof, or kidnapping him and his mom) but never had he truly expected for him to be so stupid as to do it all in the open in front of all of these kids. Then again some of this might be his obsession making him act out. Smallest sliver of him almost felt bad about that, the fact that Vlad was in a way forced to be this way, but it wasn’t really anything he wasn’t before. Obsessions just highlighted what was already there. Made it more severe.

“Uhm excuse me,” he tapped the shoulder of one of the shorter women,” Mallory?” He'd asked the babysitter for her name but for the life of him he was struggling to keep all of the exes straight in his head. There were just too many of them and they all looked too similar to his mom.

“Yes,” her eyes flickered with recognition,” Danny?”

He laughed,” yeah that’s me!”

“Some of the others were mentioning you!” she said with a bright smile taking his hand,” thank you for telling us about ‘Elle! I can’t believe he kept her a secret from all of us for so long.”

He nodded in agreement,” well about Vlad-”

“Oh no, what else was he hiding?” she asked, there was a laugh ringing from her but Danny didn’t need ghost senses to know it was dead on arrival,” I’ve learned so much more here at his funeral than I ever did when we’d been together.”

He laughed a little at that, a stilted awkward laugh that only filled his chest halfway. He almost felt bad telling her about this, but she deserved to know the truth. “Well I overheard some of the kids complaining about Vlad.”

He filled her in on what he’d overheard about the kids, the petty little actions of Vlad. The cotton candy he’d stolen (which was weird he’s rich), the fathers he threatened to replace, it was all so bizarre. Danny was about halfway through when the casket began to shake.

Vlad masters was not an impulsive man. He was calculated, smart and forward thinking. At least he certainly liked to think so. No impulsive man goes out of his way to plan his nemesis’ death and demise for twenty years. No reckless person would spend his time building an empire carefully crafting his abilities and connections for taking down his enemy. Vlad however to his greatest distaste was in fact still half human and not infallible. While he was meticulous and in his personal opinion exceedingly intelligent he had no way to properly plan for wrenches in his schemes.

The fenton boy, Daniel was his biggest hurdle but it was only a matter of time before he found the right way to tackle the issue. He was just a particularly big roadblock. If only his emotional attachment to his dunderheaded father wasn’t so strong. These issues were all small potatoes compared to the one he was in now. The details can be spared and smoothed over all that was truly important was that he was at his own funeral.

He’d always wondered what people's reaction to his death would be. Contact with his extended family had been… loose, for the lack of a better term since his ‘accident’. Deep down however he knew that when or if his time came, truly came, that they’d have a reaction. Probably sadness, he had been close to a few of them before his accident, hell he’d been close to them before his company had taken off. At the end of the day he simply had better things to do. Plans to make, revenge to ruminate on. It wasn’t his fault that they’d fallen to the wayside. They simply weren’t as important as Maddie.

He’d toyed with the idea that maybe his dear Maddie would sob over him, that she’d denounce Jack when she saw that he was no longer an option. How deeply poetic it’d be for that to happen. He never liked the idea of her only realizing their potential then but he couldn’t ignore the artful symmetry of it all. Some of the books that Maddie used to read in college had those even beginning and ends, those swooping through lines that tied it all nicely in a pretty bow. His first death had ripped her away from him. It’d gifted her to Jack on a silver platter, and his second oh how glorious it’d be if it drew her to him. Making her denounce her imbecile of a husband. Leaving the stocky man discarded. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder and even with its harsh edges his death bringing her close to him was something to behold. If only that was what he was watching happen.

Unfortunately for Vlad Masters Owner, Ceo, and founder of Vladco. Life was not an art piece nor a well orchestrated game of football. No instead he got to lay still (half) alive in his exceedingly expensive casket and listen to the dolt sob.

It started like all of the worst things while heading to the Fenton's for another plan to be set in motion. The restraining order was still being held up in the courts so there was technically nothing legally stopping him from seeing them, or especially her. Besides he was a billionaire, those things were more fine machines than anything for him. Once it was enacted all he’d have to do was pay a fine.

Unfortunately it was during the drive that issues started. Again finer details notwithstanding for he’d run them all in his head a thousand times now while laying in this blastedly comfortable casket. While on the drive it became clear to him he was being followed. No matter , he’d smugley told himself. He’d been followed by techbro fans before they were easy to deter. Easy to remove from his time and life. However in a deeply detestable turn of events the car following him did not belong to a fan.

He knew from the offset of seeing the make and model that it wasn't his average follower, those types usually had older beaters or worse highly expensive care that they had no business owning. No, instead this car was perfectly down the middle of class and price. How he detested those cars, they had no class. It was effectively similar to the many unmarked police cars that he used to have follow him during his brief stint as mayor.

Regardless the car was tailing his limo, it was simple at first to attempt to outmaneuver them. Eventually his limo was pinned.

Blah blah blah mindless details later some pointless shooting at him with guns and he’d jacked their car. In the end it was simply easier to fake a fatal car crash. then there were all of those witnesses that had to see his death. Walking it back was impossible all circumstances considered. At least when they attacked him they only knocked his driver out, the legal case of that would have been a logistical nightmare and he still had some hopes of getting access to his funds later.

It was almost funny in a karmic way. Almost as poetic as he had wanted pretending to be dead to be. Only problem was it was poetic in exactly the opposite way. The person that he hated most there sobbing the loudest. It’d be so much easier if it was Madeline sobbing. If she was sobbing, a faked death could be almost satisfying. If she melted down it could almost be worth it. Instead it was Jack Fucking Fenton.

Numerous things were to be expected from his funeral, Daniel's arrival, yes, Maddie’s, undoubtedly. Even Jazz’s and Jack’s all expected arrivals. Some of them were more annoying than others but they were the requisite arrivals. Even his gaggle of ex flings was to be expected (they had to try and get their hands on the estate and money somehow. Well jokes on them he’d left it all to Maddie). No, what he hadn’t been prepared for was Jack’s incessant wailing and sobbing.

The man was besides himself absolutely losing his mind right next to his goddamn open casket. It was getting hard to keep a straight face when he wanted nothing more than to leap from the plush silk sheets and throttle the man. His hands might not quite reach around the other mans thick neck but he could give it a good try he was sure. To put it simply and without intense amounts of rage he had mentally calculated for a lot of variables, not one of them being Jack of all people struggling to breath, choked out sobs instead of breaths coming from him as he hovered nearby. Not a single variable included being cried on by the most loathsome man in all of Amity Park. Every tear that fell on Vlad’s extremely expensive make up was another tally against the man’s. Had he no clue how hard it was to not flinch every time a drop of water splattered on his face? It was much harder than it looked he’d have him know.

Didn’t the idiot realize that he hated him? That he’d never cared for him? At least not since his death.

Worse was when Maddie and the Fenton children staggered in, he could smell the alcohol on them from a mile away. It was tasteless! The smell alone nearly made him leap from his casket and throttle them where they stood (Maddie with exception of course). Have they no respect for the dearly departed? Have they no care for social decorum? Those Fenton spawn would never survive in high class society. Not like himself and Maddie. Oh how he wished he’d never gone for those pale imitations. They hardly kept up with all that he needed.

All he had to do now was ignore everyone and get through the funeral and he could be Plasmius full time. Pursue Maddie 24/7 with no worries of the law (though with some worries of Phantom). If only those blasted Fenton's would stop spreading rumours about him! And he knew it was them! Who else would say such outrageous things?

Okay certainly if one wanted to be technical Danielle was his daughter, but he hadn’t raised her. She was not his blood, she was not his in the most important ways.

Then there was that rumour about the-

“He-hey Vlad.”

Oh, oh no.

“I uh, I’m gonna miss you.”

No no no no no! He couldn’t do this! He wouldn’t do this! He would not stand for this! He did not go out of his way to fake his death for this.

Jack blew his big blubbering nose into a handkerchief so hard it honked. Honked! He was going to throttle this man at his earliest convenience. Getting cried on he could deal with, revolting as it was. What he couldn’t and wouldn’t deal with getting yammered at. That was not in the details. He did not plan for this.

“I- uhm- I know we weren’t really close these last few years.”

That was putting it lightly.

“Or really at all since college,” there was a wet laugh from Jack.

If that oaf ended up coughing slobber on him- Maybe if he tried hard enough he could die for real, that’d be nice. He’d never really craved death before, not like in this moment. It’d be so much easier if he just didn’t have to hear this.

“I-I know you didn’t really like me in the end.”

Wait what? Had he finally gotten a clue? That was a first. Maybe his overt plotting had finally gotten through to the oaf. If Jack attacked him now that’d almost make this all worth it. He might even consider revealing he’s Plasmius if he did.

“I know I messed up, I-I must have hurt you, I don’t really know how, but- but uh, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Yes ye- He was what?

There was another laugh sob from his ex friend,” It’s probably too late since you’re uh- dead, but whatever it is I did to hurt you, I'm sorry. I hope,” he trailed off into a high pitched keening whine.

Stop stop stop! This is not what he wanted!

“I hope you rest well Vlad.”

Footsteps receded away from him at that.

Well what the fuck was he supposed to do with that? What in the world was he supposed to do with that knowledge? Internalize it? Grow and change as a person? He was (half) dead! He was well past the point of growth! He was beyond growth.

For all Jack knew he wasn’t coming back! For him and basically all of them he wasn’t coming back! The only person that would know was Daniel and maybe his sister if he told her. Maybe his brat friends if he messaged them.

What did Jack get out of telling him all of that?

Certainly not money, the will had left everything to sweet Maddie, not him. Some sort of moral upper hand? A sense of feeling like he got one over Vlad?

No the dolt wasn’t that complex, his intelligence lay somewhere between absentminded and incompetant on a good day, there was no moral forethought. Yet why did the words settle so deeply in a corner of himself? Carving out a crevice in him that ached and burned?

“Did you hear about why Vlad couldn’t buy the green bay packers?”

Why? Why did it dig in his flesh? why when he’d thought he’d burned all of that away.

I'm Sorry.

“No, why?”

Life was easier when he was fully alive. College life was simpler. At least then he could fool himself that Maddie thought of him equally as she did Jack.

“Well I heard that he was stalking the team!”

What?

Why would he stalk them? He’d never stalked someone once in his entire life! (death maybe but he’d never admit that) he could buy all the tickets to their games he had no reason to stalk them!

There was no practicality in stalking them. Just like Jack had no reason to apologize to him! The idiot didn’t even know what he’d done to hurt him. He hadn’t ripped the apology from Jack. He wasn't on his knees begging from him. Hell he didn’t even know that he’d killed Vlad. Jack Fenton was as oblivious to the fact that he’d died back in college as he was to the fact that his own son was dead and playing hero as Phantom.

The density of the man was rivaled by no other.

But then why did he apologize?

“Did you hear?”

He got nothing out of it.

Why did it ache?

Burn? He wanted for years nothing more than to make the man sob and beg for forgiveness.

Why did having it fulfill nothing?

“About him and the Box Ghost?”

Would it burn just as painfully if he finally got sweet Madeline’s confession? Would it ring just as hollow?

“I thought it was the lunch lady ghost?”

No. There was something about Jack that made it wrong. Something about that blathering moron that lashed the words to him like a blade.

“I think it was both.”

And what the hell were they all blathering on about? What was all of this nonsense about Box Ghosts and smuggling and stalking? What were any of their empty little words?

Did any of that really matter? Their blathering human rumours and petty squabbles when he, the very guest of honour in all ways but one was laying here before their very eyes on the precipice of something? He was teetering at some edge, he didn’t know what it was but he could just make out the shape of the hole he was almost toppling in, he just had to know what it was. He just-

“Well I heard-”

They heard- they heard! What did it matter what they’d all heard! Nothing that they heard could matter in the slightest not when he was dealing with this! Not when he was reeling with whatever this was! The weight and size of it completely overtaking him and yet none of them aware, he was suffocating being overtaken by the edge of knowledge some realization he’d yet to make and hee still couldn’t read it. All because they wouldn’t stop blathering on and on about what? Lies?

Stupid foolish tales spun by his greatest enemy!

By a child.

If it were not for the show and pageantry of it all, if it were not for the display that he’d set about around him he’d be yanking his hair by the roots, tearing it slowly strand by strand from his scalp. And if there was one thing that Vlad Masters was, it was a showman! He was dramatic and he was going to be so unabashedly it was not his fault that there was no one that yearned for his life to roll onwards like Jack. None of it could be held against him. He was a romantic! Everything he did was for her.

Had it truly all been for nothing?

All these years.

Had she never really cared?

“Dirty money, attached to drugs. I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pool.”

All this time.

Did he really-

“Never even mentioned a daughter!

All his schemes!

Jack's tears were so warm when they cut the thick funeral makeup.

“So many secrets for him to keep.”

Dozens of attempts on his life!

Did he really care? The water on his face was still warm.

“Wasn’t the cause of his crash a run from the law?”

“Would you all just shut up already!”

Silence blanketed the church as Vlad’s voice finished ringing out the wooden box still perched on its little stage. The casket was still shaking and the flowers were falling from the box as the hush grew sharper. Energy crackled from the casket shooting out and blowing the bulb above. Glass fell from the light falling gently on the flower petals.

None one spoke, Danny’s father had a hand over his mouth, new large tears welling up. He looked green and pale, unlike most of the stunned guests he looked like he was about to be sick.

Danny shot a glance at Jazz, she nodded and jerked her head to the side. He ducked out. Things were about to get hairy.

There was no response from Vlad for a second as it seemed the outburst was done. Even the children who’d been shrieking with laughter and joy from their play for most of the funeral were silent. The falling glass and shaking box were deafening in the silence. Danny ducked behind a pillar and into the doorway that led to the restrooms. There was no one there. The closest person was his mom but she was standing silent and stunned not an eye tilted away from the casket. He couldn’t blame her.

It wasn’t everyday your incel stalker had a breakdown after he’d legally died.

He transformed. On the most part there weren’t many people near the casket. It was just a few lingering Exes, most people were near the refreshment table. His first line of action should be to grab the people near the stage and get them to safety. Then?

Well the rest was adlib.

At least he had stored the Fenton thermos in his suit jacket (just in case). If only Sam or Tucker were there. Things were so much easier with their help.

Just as he was about to jump into the situation, the group of exes all swarmed Vlad. Shit he’d have to replan everything. He wouldn’t be able to get in an ecto-blast with out the fret of hitting one of them. He could always try Ice or a little storm cloud?

Just as a new plan was starting to formulate one of them (Maria?) slapped Vlad hard across the face.

Smack.

The noise echoed loudly across the church.

He grimaced.

Oh.

He did not want to get in the middle of whatever that was. He really didn’t want to get in the middle of it at all. Backing back into the bathroom he turned back to normal. Didn’t matter what the situation was, he was not going to get in the middle of a dozen or so angry exes and Vlad. It was his grave (even if Danny had helped him dig it a little) like hell Danny was getting buried with him.

“Vlad Masters!” one of the exes screamed,” you slimy pathetic excuse of a man.”

Yeah Danny was not getting in that, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to watch.

“Ow!” Vlad cried out, his eyes were glowing red, but aside from that he still looked very much the same.

Weird, Danny didn’t expect him to stay in human form. He guessed it made sense if he changed into Plasmius the gig would be up. There’d be a lot of questions too. Knowing Vlad’s tendency to monologue he might even explain the concept of Halfa’s.

“M-Maria!” the older man stammered out,” darling hello-”

The woman smacked him again,” I’m Maggie,” she spat out.

Danny winced, yikes. Makeup covered Vlad's gaunt face but Danny could imagine the smarting red forming on his cheeks.

“Y-yes of course, how could I mistake your beauty, how foolish of me to compare the two of-”

The clearing of a throat interrupted as Maria herself tapped her foot.

“Maria!” Vlad exclaimed this time correct, even if taken by surprise.

“Yes,” the woman agreed,” but don’t mind me, what were you saying? Something about comparison?”

The billionaire awkwardly laughed as he seemed to take in the fact that he was surrounded by all of his exes. Phantom wasn’t even needed. Villain defeated right then and there by the rage and power of his many exes. Again Danny found himself desperate to find out whatever the older man had done to make everyone hate him so just to do the express opposite.

When he actually fully died he hoped his funeral wasn’t this… whatever plan he actually ended up with he just didn’t want this.

“So,” Jazz said as she settled next to him leaning on the pillar with him,” any idea what got him up?”

“Nah,” Danny shrugged looking over to his sister. She looked more sober now, less unstable on her feet.” He didn’t really decree what his gripe was this time.”

Jazz sighed,” so no winner yet.”

“Unfortunately,” he said,'' He also technically didn’t go ghost mode.”

Jazz groaned resting her head on his shoulder,” I wanted to go home, these heels are killing me!”

He stuck a tongue out at her,” shoulda transed your gender like I did,” he teased quietly.

“Ha! Really funny Danny,” she flatly commented with a roll of her eyes at the tired joke.

“Ah meany,” he pouted.

“You walk in these heels at a funeral,” she complained again,” At least if he went full ghost It’d be socially acceptable to ditch them.”

He bit his tongue remembering a rant that Sam had gone on recently about heels and social pressure. How she’d then thrown one of her platform boots at Tuck when he made a remark. Jazz probably wouldn’t appreciate his lovesick ramblings about them.

“Looks like we'll just have to continue to watch this unfold.” he said instead with a sarcastic twinge.

“Oh what a shame!” Jazz said flatly,” sucks to be us.”

Danny snickered as Vlad continued to try to dig himself out of his hole. How he wished Sam and Tucker were here. Unfortunately for him they were both far too busy. Ah well he’d just have to video it all for them.

How unfortunate for Vlad that he was made to sit through his own will reading, and how fortunate for Danny Fenton that he was the one that got to watch it all go down. In the entire time that he and Vlad had been nemesis he never knew just how much he wanted exactly this to happen. Actually if someone ever suggested this happening younger him probably wouldn’t have appreciated just how funny this was. No fourteen-to-fifteen him was far too invested in things like learning his powers and finding out just how observant the rest of town was. Also looking cool. Adult him however? Freshly 21 and college attending him? Oh he could enjoy the fuck out of this situation.

There was some minor debate among some guests over how ethical it was since Vlad's ‘ghost’ was now here to view the reading. Some point could be made that it might be weird...

“Isn’t it rude?” one family member had suggested.

But...

“It might be in bad taste,” another guest had even pipped up.

No one really liked Vlad anyways

“Oh no!” Morgan said,” I want to know what it says, and who better to see how accurate it all is.”

Oh how glad he was that those few were beaten out. How glad he was that the crowd was seeing blood. That the group was too nosey and invested in the drama to really get caught up in such small things as ethics. How grateful he was that the exes were in half a mind to Kill Vlad a second time.

Fortunate he was, that his luck was finally turning up. It might even be the universe trying to pay him back for all of the shit he’d been dealing with since he was fourteen. Return investment on the untimely youth death. Honestly if it was it was a pretty bang up start all things considered. He’d have to find out if there was a ghost involved in the control of karma. They might just end up with an edible arrangement on their lair door. Older adults loved that shit so ghosts should too.

“Hm,” the lawyer said when they entered the room with the walking corpse of Vlad masters. The office was small and hardly held everyone, but snugly, far too snugly for comfort they all fit on the other side of the large desk.

No one said anything to the lawyer. Whether the man had been privy to the rest of the funeral or had just arrived Danny didn’t know but he had to admit this entire situation was bizarre even with full context. Not many of them knew ghost rules and the only ones that did were in either stunned or gleeful silence. There was no objection to the fact that Vlad had dragged his body with him, not a voice descenting on the fact that his form hadn’t shifted. Not a single attendee seemed perturbed by the fact that Vlad was not really a ghost.

Even the paid bounty hunters didn’t know how to discern ghosts from humans judging by their stunned expressions. Though he’d love to watch one of them attack Vlad in the middle of a church. Stabbing a man in the house of god might just be a big sin, though Danny wasn’t sure.

“Well this is unprecedented,” the lawyer commented,” never in my time have I ever seen a dead man rise for the reading of his own will.”

Vlad grumbled but no one could make out the words as the two exes on either side of him glared.

Oh how fortunate Danny was indeed, never before had he ever been so glad for his untimely death. If it all led to watching Vlad squirm like this still trying to keep his alter ego a secret? Pain and strife, the many attacks and attempts on his life were worth it.

“Well if there is no protest,” the lawyer said. For a moment Vlad looked very much like he wanted to protest, but the glares of the exes kept him silent and made him snap his jaw shut. Danny knew what went into keeping a corpse looking fresh. Shame the mortician seemed to have skipped wiring the jaw shut. Then, Vlad didn’t seem to need physical wires to keep him silent and well behaved, his Exes were all doing that job very well.

“In that case,” the lawyer sounded queasy, if Danny wasn’t so invested with the drama unfolding he might have turned to verify. “Then I believe we will begin.”

The man started out by reading the long legal preamble, the paragraphs upon paragraphs of titles and information about Vlad that was included. Danny understood that him being the owner of VladCo was technically important for the will but did he need to include all of his ten titles at the company in the will? It just felt excessive. ‘Ceo, entrepreneur, founder, head of decisions, etc.’ did anyone care? Leaving out the most important title of ‘asshole’ was the biggest mistake of his will.

“Yes I think we get it,” Monroe said, her accent clipping the words in stiff professionalism. Bless her for cutting the pain short. “I do have,” the woman glanced at the cousin who was still holding her hand,” A more important social engagement to attend to with Carmila.”

The lawyer stammered,” yes of course ma’am my apologies.”

“It reads:

‘First, I hereby denounce all previous wills made by myself, Vlad Masters, no matter nature or kind.

Second I Vlad Masters hereby appoint,” the lawyer paused making a face before he continued,” Madeline Fenton love of my life as the executor of my estate, networth, and-” the lawyer paused,” the ownership of my beloved cat ‘Maddie the cat, the third-”

“Huh, I guess you listened to my suggestion after all and got a cat.” Danny muttered as at the same moment his mother reached her breaking point

“You what?” Maddie was standing out of her chair, indignation flaring in her eyes,” Vlad! I don’t want any of this.”

“But but,” Danny tuned the man out as he made the normal declarations of love. Trite at this point his mind was already trying to entertain itself. Fast forwarding this would be nice, if only his core was time based. But no he got Ice, and Weather, and other weird disconnected powers. He was electrocuted to death! Cruel that he didn’t get cool electrocution powers.

They were still arguing when he tuned back in. Loath wasn’t a powerful enough describer for this love diatribe that Vlad spewed every three to five business days. His mom yelled something back, a few of the ex wives even chiming in agreement. Well at least they didn’t hate mom that was a plus.

He shot Jazz a look as he repositioned his phone camera to get a better shot.

‘This again?’ he tried to communicated with his expressions. Tuck usually laughed when he tried and Sam told him he looked to constipated.

She shrugged and nodded as if to say ‘this again.’

“I am happily married! I told you I won't leave Jack for you!”

Tuning out the conversation didn’t seem to leave out many details. Everything was falling exactly into the same patterns as always.

“Maddie please-” the billionaire tried to beg.

This made the woman snap,” no don’t Maddie please me! You have not respected my decision to marry Jack since it happened, well guess what Vlad it’s too late for you! You were never even an option!” she turned to Jack and put a hand on his shoulder. her voice much softer when she spoke,” come on honey we’re leaving. Kids?” She turned to the two Fenton children. The both of them stood with no protest. Like hell they were going to end up on the wrong side of their mother right now. Mission orientated as she was they had no doubt she could commit Vlad's murder and get away with it. legally she might even considering the fact that he was technically a 'ghost' right now.

Just as she was about to step out the door she turned,” oh and ladies, don’t worry about a legal battle I’ll work with our family lawyer to transfer everything to all of you.”

There were some small thanks from the stunned Exes as the office door latched shut behind them.

The air in the car was-

Well the word tense didn’t really sum up the air but it was the best approximation that Danny had. It could have gone worse, he supposed he could have genuinely ended up fighting Vlad again. Chances where that if he fought Vlad while he was Plasmius that the formerly rich business mogul would then use the moment to out Danny as Phantom. Not just his family but all of the church. If he had to rate the evening it was definitely not as bad as he expected. About a six or seven, depending on his critical he was being.

“Uh so who won the bet?” he whispered to Jazz. he wasn’t worried about his parents, Maddie was soothingly rubbing circles on Jack’s back as the man drove. That and they were sat in the back, sometimes the front seats struggled to hear them at a normal level forget a whisper.

Jazz furrowed her brows,” I guess neither of us really won, he didn’t even go ghost.”

Nodding, he thought back to the man’s loud entrance,” He also didn’t say what rumour got him up.”

“So do we both lose?”

“I guess?” he looked over to his parents,” so we both tell them?”

Jazz sighed leaning back in her seat, hair dramatically laying behind her,” yeah I guess.”

“You don’t hav-”

Jazz cut him off with a snort,” no it’s fine, my things not really as big all things considered.”

Fair, she had a point with that. Their parents already knew that she was interested in men and women but still revealing partners to them was always weird and nerve wracking. The first time he’d introduced Sam and Tuck as partners and not friends he’d expected a lot more questions. Turns out if you hunt ghosts for a living nothing is really weird after that. They just bought him new sex ed books. Sentiment appreciated but still weird considering he could google that sort of thing now.

“So Danny,” his mom said, her fingers tightened on her phone. They were lucky she got old brick Nokias instead of those new Smart phones. She’d break them in a week. Jack wasn’t paying them much attention as he drove, he seemed to still be shell shocked. Hopefully he didn't crash, okay so maybe he didn't always like car rides. Sometimes the looming threat of a car crash really messed with his obsession.

“Yeah mom?” he asked.

“I was talking to some of the ladies.”

“Uh huh?” wherever she was going with this he didn’t like the tone.

“And imagine my surprise when one of them tells me Vlad has a daughter.”

“Weird right,” he said. Please stop, please stop! He begged, wherever this was going it was nowhere good. It would have been better if he’d just died in that accident. Screw whatever he thought back when he thought his luck was turning up. He was still the most unlucky bastard in all of amity park.

She hummed in agreement,” and imagine my surprise when they said she was your cousin.”

Danny didn’t have a response to that, Jazz was stifling a laugh next to him.

“And then,” she said,” she showed me a picture of her.”

“Really.”

“Yeah, Danny," there was a pause as she seemed to collect her words," why does she look like you pre transition?”

“Does she?” sweating wasn’t really something he did so much anymore, not since his core started cooling his mortal flesh, it was nice sometimes. But it didn’t stop nervous sweating. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Hadn’t- Danny,” his mother sighed,” sweetie if you want to start presenting as a girl again you can. We won’t judge you.”

Wait what, “ what?!”

Shrieking loud bursts of laughter came out of Jazz.

“Jazz!”

That set him off, it was just so ridiculous.

“Honey I’m serious,” his mom sounded so upset her tone lost. She really was trying.

He couldn’t help it, it wasn’t his fault. It was just so out of the realm of what was happening. Man his parents really didn’t have any of the facts.

“Danny?” his father asked the tenseness in his shoulders from the funeral leaving way to confusion.

Him and Jazz made eye contact and the laughing got so much worse. If being part dead didn’t make him need to breathe so much less he’d be choking. He’d die, it was just- they still didn’t know and somehow that was all the funnier. God he was calling Tuck and Sam right after he explained everything they were going to get such a kick out of this. Especially Tucker.

“That’s not-” wheezes high and stringy, cutting him off, he was struggling even with his ghost lungs.

“Danny my boy,” Jack asked quietly,” what’s funny?”

“We’re trying to support you Danny!” his mother exclaimed.

Finally he quelled the laughter enough to speak,” okay okay,” he whipped a tear from his eye. “I’ll explain it all it just probably isn’t something dad needs to be driving for.”

“Danny what do-”

“Just trust me okay?” he grinned at his mom in what he hoped was reassurance.

She sighed and looked at her husband, Jack furrowed his brows and the pair silently communicated before the man hit his turning signal.

The small side road was perfectly out of the way enough that no one would be able to peer in. It was some half abandoned picnic area but none of them reached for their seatbelts to leave the car. It was just the closest spot they could stop.

“Okay,” he started giving Jazz a look, she nodded comfortingly,” Remember how the portal didn’t work at first?”

It took them a moment but they nodded in remembrance.

“Right well I died.” it was best to just rip the Band-Aid off.

“What?”

“Danny- honey you’re not dead.”

He thought so at least, he sighed pinching his nose,” I need you guys to wait for questions till the end okay?”

“But honey you’re not dead!” she didn’t sound so sure as she looked him over.

“What your mother said my boy! You’re sitting right there!”

Danny groaned,” guys please?” there was a pause as they looked at each other and finally finally agreed to wait till the end. “Sam said I should check it out, see if I could fix it. I put on my suit, and,” he made a buzzing noise with his tongue,” the button shocked me to death when I hit it. It was dark so I didn't see,” he looked to the side. The trees outside were swaying peacefully in the wind. Jazz put a hand on his shoulder, he took a steading breath and clenched the hand with the thin invisible scars. “It was an accident but,” he turned back to them resolution in his eyes,” I died that day, When I woke up, well, brace yourselves okay,” he let the tugging cold of hic core shift and change his appearance.

There was silence. He’d expected something but, no, even Jazz wasn’t saying anything.

He cracked an eye open, his parents were staring at him dumbfounded. Yeah that was about par for the course.

“Well this happened and now, I’m half Ghost,” he admitted,” everyone in the ghost zone knows that’s why there were always so many attacks at the school.”

“Half?” his mom asked despite herself.

Danny nodded,” yeah I still age, and need to eat and breath... mostly on that last one. It’s kind of cool I can go invisible,” he demonstrated before changing back,” and phase through things and float,” he demonstrated both in succession allowing the belt to glide through him as he hovered up an inch. “Shoot Ecto-blasts… probably best if I don’t do that one in the car though,” he laughed.

“Okay,” his mom said.

“Okay?” he asked.

His father nodded,” sure Son, we love you. It’s weird but, well we hunt ghosts for a living.”

He laughed,” yeah fair enough.”

"I-" his mom looked over at Jack," We're proud of you sweetie, that's a lot to undertake at so young."

he chuckled," it wasn't so bad, I had a lot of help," he grinned at Jazz," Between her Sam and Tuck I don't know if I would have lasted half the battles I did."

"You knew Jazz?" Their father asked his tone soft and slightly hurt.

She smiled softly," yeah, I walked in on him transforming. Thought it was best if I let him tell you guys."

"Part of the apprehension might have been the dissection thing," Danny addmited.

"I- honey-" his mom put a hand over her mouth in shock.

"I'm sorry son," His dad said," it was closed minded of us to assume stuff about ghosts we didn't know."

"Well you weren't always wrong. Just usually."

“So ‘Elle?” his mom prompted before Jack could pepper in questions about what the got right.

He sighed,” yeah her full name is Danielle, technically she’s the only living clone of me Vlad made.”

“Only living Clone?”

“Vlad made?”

Man he had a lot to explain. Years of events just gone unsaid. Some small part of the divide between them was shifting, growing smaller.

“Is now a good time to tell you guys I have a girlfriend?”

Danny choked on a laugh. Not to long after his parents followed after the tension disrupted, Well at least he had Jazz to help explain. Sam and Tucker too when they weren’t busy. It'd be a mess and weird to finally clear the air between them, but at least he knew they were proud of him.

#My writing #danny phantom #trans danny fenton #trans danny phantom #everlasting trio #thats their ship name right? its not like super there its minor but ye #danny phantom exists in my brain in vague memories and nothing else #only the smallest amounts of cannon may be contained in this fic #idk i dont have enough brain to know tho #danphanwritingprompts

73 notes · View notes

fenristheorem · 4 years ago

Note

hi, if your ok with it, can we ask hc for the boys (nevra leiftan and lance ) dating a virgin s/o?

Ah, my first request with more than one LI! Happy to write for the three 😊 Also, this is my first time writing Nevra - and I’m not too familiar with his character, especially with what little we know about him in ANE - so I apologize if he’s a bit out of character.

This ask does sort of request an nsfw-ish scenario - considering the main focus is Guardienne being a virgin - which I’m fine writing for Lance but not as much for anyone else. However, in a wide perspective, being a virgin can effect a few other aspects of their relationship rather than just during the moment - and I can sort of imagine very basic nsfw ideas for the other two - so I do feel I can write this well. This ask is a good example of something that walks along the lines of some of my rules, but can bend them a bit since it's nothing too specific.

That being said; these will be general headcanons mixed with the slightest bit of vague nsfw.

~Under the cut~

Nevra with a virgin S/O:

Nevra is a bit... odd about it, I suppose. There’s certainly nothing wrong with Guardienne being a virgin - he’s been the first time for many women in the past - but recently he’s been... spending time with women who have done this before and know their night will be one and done, or perhaps repeated a few more times in the future without any attachment. Of course, he stops seeing these women once in a relationship with Guardienne, but when they encounter the time where this information is brought up, he doesn’t really know how to react.

She’s a virgin - ok, that’s no problem. He knows how to treat a woman during their first time; gentle, attentive, supportive. However, it clashes a bit with his routine as of late, and since he’s still dealing with a lot of emotions from the past, he does question sometimes if this bothers him in some way.

To clarify: I imagine Nevra is fine and accepting with this, and has no problem with acting appropriately during their first time, but he would be a bit... nervous? about how their first time would go. He would wonder if she’ll be anxious and need support, or if it would be so natural that the idea of nervousness or support wouldn’t even cross their minds as something that would need to be prominent during this time.

Basically, he’s been spending his nights with experienced women, so being in a relationship again - with the woman who saved Eldarya and emerged from the crystal no less - and then realizing that she’s a virgin, so he needs (by his own moral opinion and by social expectation) to be attentive during their first time, is out of his current field of expertise. So yes, he’s probably a bit nervous and clueless in some ways.

His emotional standpoint has changed since the White Sacrifice, he’s a bit more aggressive and standoff-ish, so he wonders sometimes if he’ll know how to treat her properly. He wants to be kind, gentle, careful, and tender, but he’s been through so much - between realizing an old friend has betrayed them, living through the war, realizing her and the demon sacrificed themselves, Valk’s death, Ezarel, Cameria and Miiko’s leaving, and so much more - that he’s not exactly sure if he knows how to be all that anymore.

At first it almost sounds like her being a virgin would bother him in the way that would make him turn his interest away from her, but really it’s not that at all. Nevra will put so much pressure on himself to assure that - of everything that has happened in the past years - this will be right and good, and that pressure will display in way that can make her wonder if her being a virgin is a major issue for him.

In a relationship with her, he’d probably have a few issues with softening himself every now and again, especially in the beginning. Sometimes he may forget that he doesn’t need to be (and shouldn’t be if she’s his partner) cold and aggressive with her, and in time he’ll soften up properly, but once he learns that she’s a virgin there’ll be a bit of a relapse in his personality again. He’ll want to make sure everything will be alright - that their first time won’t be screwed up because he doesn’t have much recent experience in taking someone’s virginity - and since that idea will take up most of his thoughts he may forget that he’s being a bit cold towards her again. Basically he’ll slip back into being a bit distant because his thoughts will be preoccupied with trying to think over how things will go.

He’ll be so busy trying to think things over - how he should react, how he should treat her, what happens if she’s truly uncomfortable and not ready, if his reaction will be appropriate in her eyes - to assure everything will be good that he’ll be at risk of accidentally sabotaging something that he would otherwise be just fine at.

Overall, he’ll withdraw a bit again, becoming a bit cold, distant and aggressive at some moments without realizing it. His partner will likely - justifiably - think that this change is because he’s losing interest due to this new piece of knowledge, but one simple, honest conversation can fix this.

He’s not disinterested because of this, he doesn’t mean to act cold and distant towards her again, he doesn’t wish to drive her away - he wants everything to be alright, he wants something to go right after so many things that went wrong, but fears that it won’t go right for some reason. This continued impression can be harmful for both, so as long as they both have an honest, open conversation about this they can both relax and go into this in an understanding, tender way, where nothing goes wrong and everything is just as they hoped for.

Leiftan with a virgin S/O:

Leiftan really doesn’t want to hurt anyone, especially Guardienne. He’s had his time where he was a terror - except to the angel, for the most part - so when his partner first tells him this information he’s very glad that she not only told him in the first place, but that she also trusts him to understand this and act accordingly. He loves his partner like no tomorrow and is determined to make sure that she knows it, so he readily listens to any concerns she may have and openly talks about this if that’s what she needs to feel comfortable.

In a way, he’ll sort of know prior that she never had sex before - they’re something along the lines of soulmates, so if anything he’ll just have that odd bit of knowing without actually knowing.

Regardless, he’s ready to approach this topic at any time, in any way she wants. He knows how to be gentle, there’s no way he’s not going to be attentive throughout the process of taking her virginity, and he’s willing to do basically anything she needs of him at any time.

He will talk to his partner about this beforehand as well, making sure to stress to her that her comfort matters to him, and that he’ll do anything she needs him to do, even if it means backing off and waiting to try again another day. If she isn’t comfortable, then he isn’t either.

Overall, this facet of information doesn’t effect many things in their life - they still act the same, do the same things, feel the same way for each other. The only difference is that Leiftan will be sure to be that much more comforting and attentive in he moment if that’s what she needs. Leiftan loves his partner dearly and will be just fine with this information, but he doesn’t feel he needs to stress too much that he’ll do anything for her. They have a special bond - she already knows he’ll do anything for her.

Lance with a virgin S/O:

Like Nevra, Lance has likely had quite a bit of experience with sex in the past - including being the first time for some women if that’s what they chose - but none of that is recent.

When he learns of this information, he doesn’t care much. He’s completely fine with her being a virgin - everyone once was before their first time - so he keeps a level head about it and is sure to listen to anything she feels she needs to say.

Lance’s only concern will be if he feels that he can control any impulses during the moment. He’s a relatively feral man - mostly due to his draconic instincts, but also since he feels emotions very deeply - so he believes that, in theory, it would be relatively easy for him to be a bit more aggressive than he should be.

This is why, of all the guys written here, Lance is most likely to talk about this subject with his partner with his own concerns regarding himself. He knows there’s a possibility that he may not be her ideal in the moment, but he doesn’t overthink and have an existential crisis about it that could cause more harm than good (*looking at you, Nevra*). Lance will be sure his partner knows that it’s possible for him to get caught up in the moment and forget to be gentle, so he’ll tell her that if she’s at all feeling uncomfortable, hesitant, in need of comfort / reassurance / affection, anything at all, just tell him. He’s not going to be disappointed, he’s not going to be angry or upset, this won’t turn his interest away from her - he will listen and be as patient as she needs him to be. He knows it’s possible for her to decide in the moment that she’s not ready, he understands that and doesn’t hold it against her, and even if he’s aching to have her, this is something that he will not debate - if she wants him to stop, be more affectionate, be a bit more cautious about the manner in which he touches her, etc. he will do as she wishes. He just wants her to be comfortable and know that he cares.

However, if she tells him that she’s a virgin before they’re anywhere close to having sex, Lance will take it upon himself to change his daily manner with her a bit. He’ll be more attentive to anything she needs, he’ll be a bit gentler with his touches, he’ll be a bit more transparent with his emotions and affections for her. It’s not that he’s trying to entice her into sleeping with him sooner, he just feels that he should be more obvious to the fact that he’s willing to treat her differently if she needs it, and in this case he feels that he’s showing he’s happy to treat her in a more tender manner.

Of course, his partner may notice his slight change of manner and think that his opinion of her has changed a bit, and she may confront him about this. She may think that he feels he needs to treat her softer or be more attentive - like she’s suddenly a glass doll that he could break if not careful, and she’ll be quick to point out that she is - in fact - none of that. He’ll immediately realize and understand her reasoning for this, and he’ll be quick to tell her that he doesn’t think that at all; sex can be emotional and messy, and while she may think she won’t need any reassurance, that may change in the moment. Everyone is different during their first time, some people do end up needing reassurance and some don’t - he just wants her to know that if, per chance, she does end up needing him to do anything different, he can provide that and he’ll be happy to provide it. If he’s in a relationship with her then she truly means a lot to him - I can’t imagine Lance in a mere casual relationship at this point - so he’s going to make sure that he acts appropriately in every way, and if he’s not acting appropriate to her standards then she needs to tell him so he knows. He’s not someone to break his back to please someone, but his partner will hold a special place in his heart that he won’t want to lose, and he realizes that no relationship is perfect so it will take listening and compromise to work, so he’d likely be just fine with making any changes to help her feel more comfortable.

On another note - there’s a bit of a... carnal change that takes place within him. Knowing that he’ll be the one to take her virginity will spark a bit of a territorial streak within him. She’ll be his, only his, no one else will have ever touched her in the ways he has. This won’t make him obsessive and controlling with who’s near her, who she talks to or anything, but there’ll be a special loyalty that he has for her thereafter (however, I can image he’s a bit territorial with her regarding certain people depending on if they seem romantically interested in her and his past relations with them). He won’t really treat her differently, if anything he’ll just be a bit more obvious with being protective about her, but he’ll definitely feel the change within him when he suddenly has overwhelming urges to be around her and have her in his arms. After all, being a dragon means that he’ll be quite possessive at times - especially knowing that he’ll forever hold a special place in his precious gem’s heart from this.

These are somewhat short since there’s three of them together, but I hope you like them despite the length! I suppose this post is a good comparison on how I write the three different men, since I had a bit of a hard time writing for Nevra and Leiftan (especially Leiftan - I feel he’s very straightforward with this) whereas I could easily add another couple bulletpoints for Lance (but I didn’t want to make one headcanon incredibly long while the others were short). This, again, was my first time writing for Nevra, and I’ve only written Leiftan a few times prior as well, so they may be a bit out of character but I think I have them well written.

Thanks for requesting!

Have a request? Ask them here!

But first, please read the rules list for asks!

#Eldarya #Eldarya ane #eldarya nevra #Eldarya nevra ane #Eldarya leiftan #eldarya leiftan ane #Eldarya Lance #Eldarya Lance ane #Eldarya nevra headcanons #eldarya leiftan headcanons #eldarya lance headcanons #fenristheorem writing #askfenris

81 notes · View notes

whereflowersbloom · 4 years ago

Text

Cracked heart

He had made a terrible mistake. Somehow, before the tragedy he’d begun to believe in the visions of a bright and hopeful future. Of a new world where the stars listened and dreams were answered. His half-human heart had shown him how foolish he was. It was his fault. It had been all his damn fault.

Everything was maddening chaos. Red lights and noisy alerts in the monitoring equipment of the Tower. Nightwing yelling orders at everyone, preparing for a major battle. Starfire organized two groups. There two teams were forcibly separated by a force field that cut off compete communication between them. Of course they never expected the aftermath would cost them more than they were able to imagine...

"We need to wait for Raven.” He answered to Starfire, his voice cracking mid-sentence. He knew he they had to leave, but if they could just wait one more minute. One more minute. For her. He wouldn’t leave her behind. More voices warning him to hurry up. It was too much for his ears and head.

“I can't leave her behind!" His voice shakes with panic and fear, his entire being was shaking as the alarms blasted his ears, red lights flashing continually. He doesn’t waste any more time and took off to the sky eyes scanning for any signs of Raven.

Deep inside, a small part of him was sobbing in wretched, horrified guilt as his half-kryptonian eyes looked at the brutalized body of his teammate. He recalled her expression. Heartbreaking panic and torment made her achingly familiar eyes bright and chaotic. There was a desire stirring inside him to return to the days before she became broken, before her inconsolable soul shattered, a minute, a single minute just to save him was the key to her happiness. But even he knew such wounds of the heart never healed even with the fast flow of time.

With his heart clenching painfully he took a step closer to her door room. He didn’t bother to knock, quietly he opened the door and let himself in.

“Raven...” Conner released a breath that he hadn’t fully realized he had been holding and felt his shoulders slump with inhuman physical fatigue.

Raven opened her amethyst eyes to meet electric blue ones, she recognized the guilt in them. She had stayed in her room for more than five days. She closed her eyes and begged to Azar this was a terrible nightmare, to listen to her prayers. Let him live. Please let him come back to me. She still wanted to scream. Instead she turned away and looked towards the window. Most days, she would only stare vacantly into space. Sometimes kept looking at the clock visualizing Damian walking inside, done with patrolling, allowing her to listen to his steady heartbeat as they snuggled in their bed.

“He’s dead.” Her voice was so low and hoarse that Conner felt a bile of anger in his throat. Raven sounded devastatingly broken. She sounded disappointed that she did not sound like herself or was it the hurt of admitting the cruel truth out loud.

She likely needed a shower since her hair was greasy but she could not find the energy to climb out of bed and get into the shower. Couldn’t find the energy or will to do anything. She felt disgusting. Kori had informed her she was suffering from depression and when she was ready to seek therapy or medication, they would be there for her in any way. Raven did not believe she was truly depressed. The idea seemed bizarre. She had just lost...her lover. One half of her soul. Her heart had been ripped out her chest and spattered. Robin was gone. Damian.

Conner swallowed hard. The grief and sorrow were consuming her slowly, eating her up from inside out. Her face was breaking out, particularly around her forehead and chin. Her eyes had dark circles and her face appeared so shallow that she looked like a different person. This was not the Raven he knew.

Please, he begged silently, please understand. Please let me save you. Those words were the ones he wanted to voice with urgency. ‘He isn’t here but I love you’ even so he couldn’t confess his feelings for her. Not when she’s in this state.

It’s over, they were back home but it’s never over really. In her mind, she was in another world part of another constellation and system, it’s on fire. There was nothing else she could think about, nothing else she could feel. But the scalding hot flames turning her lover to ashes and dust. Reduced to nothing. In minutes Robin was gone. All Conner could feel in that moment was the blurriness in his vision perhaps caused by the sting of the radiation or the fact that he could barely get any air inside his lungs despite his alien genes. The grim realization that he probably couldn’t keep going any longer, if he didn’t step her out in time, hitting him hard and suddenly, making a rush of raw pain spread through his body like poison. There was no time to mourn Robin, there was nothing left of him to take except for his sword, which Raven clung almost inseparably to as if her life depended on it. His last possession. No time to be relieved that they were both alive, or scared to death because she was in such danger. She persisted using her powers attempting to bring the dead back to life; fruitless. No success. She used up all her magic and energy until she eventually collapsed. Conner made the decision then, quickly he took her in his arms and flew away from this everlasting bloody hell of a place.

He was right here last week and all of a sudden he was gone. “Damian is gone...” She cried painfully with broken voice, finally it all was let out with anguished screams and sobs, and then she could not breathe. All the emotions she had been holding onto for the best part of the week. She felt trapped in her own body, her mind racing at ninety miles an hour, her heart felt like it was going to explode, and then she was hyperventilating. Overwhelmed. Her boyfriend, second in command of their team and the strongest person she knew....was dead. Her gentle Damian.

After a minute she perceived a source of warmth embracing her protectively.

It was Conner and as soon as he saw Raven’s sweaty and trembling state he immediately went over to her and tried to get her to use him to support herself and get control over her breathing.

“Focus on my voice Raven." Conner whispered soothingly, stroking her dark hair until she calmed down. "You're gonna make through this, I promise." She let out another sob and he continued to rock her back and forth. He closed his eyes shut as he felt like his heart was being stabbed over and over again. Gods, how powerless he was not being able to comfort the woman he loved profoundly.

Never he thought that she would need him this much. He dreamed of having her in his arms countless times but never this way. He would have fought for her openly. Made his intentions clear as water. Why did Wayne had to be so reckless and jump to action? Where did his so called redemption and sacrifice got him?

Something else inside him twisted as he thought the kind of pain she must be feeling to let him cradle her like this. She had never shown him such vulnerability, fragility so defenseless. Somply touching her making it seem like she would vanish in the air. Yes, everyone mourned Robin but none had the right to mourn him like she did.

“He died before my eyes... I couldn’t bring him back...” As those words hit her in the chest once again for the thousandth time in five days. She squeezed violet eyes shut as fresh tears burned at now red eyes. The life they had built had crumbled away, she had none of it now. Nothing.

Her hot tears streaming down her face hit him like a punch to the gut. The sound that escaped pink lips could hardly be called human, a mix between a sob and a wail. The mournful melody of a banshee weeping resonating betond all other sounds on earth. She felt her knees buckle beneath and almost crumpled to the floor but Conner got her. He would never let her fall or suffer alone. No.

"I'm here. I will always be here for you, I promise." He vowed solemnly with firm voice, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. He wished to held her a little tighter. For a little longer. For her to see him with a new light, gave him a ray of hope.

He didn't know how long they remained like that. And honestly he didn't care. Even if his arms could hurt for holding her, and his back ached like hell for being in the same position for god knows how long. He didn’t give a single fuck.

All he cared about was that no matter what, he would have done absolutely everything in his power to make sure that she got through this. It would take a very long time. And maybe she wouldn’t be completely whole again, but whatever she had to offer him in the future. He would gladly accept it and stand by her side until the end of time. Because he understood perfectly you didn’t just move on and get over the love of your life. Conner knew it too well. He would keep her safe for him, in his name.

As the sky loved the mountains providing rain to water their trees, helping them grow strong gracefully and with ease. He would love her the same.

I’m feelings bit down so I wrote some sad and angsty Damirae/Konrae sorry 😭😭😭

Might edit later but hope you enjoy @amaati @grassfour @andthendk @xxitzmikoxx @niahti @alerialblu

#damirae #demon birds #konrae #kon el kent #raven roth #teen titans #dick grayson #koriand'r #angst and feels #dc fandom #dc universe #robrae #character death #damian wayne #heartbreak

121 notes · View notes

theropegeek · 4 years ago

Text

What To Do If You're Banned From Your Local Kink Community For Consent Violations

An open letter to myself 4 years ago

1. I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone, but you did, and you're going to have to learn to accept that.

It will be an ongoing process that lasts the rest of your life and will never be fully complete.

But you need to do it, and it's never going to get any easier, so you better get started.

2. Your guilt and self-flagellation do not help anybody. I know you think that openly punishing yourself to the point of ongoing depression is the best way you can show that you're sorry, but ultimately, it's just masturbation. It gives you a sensation of motion and accomplishment without actually doing anything.

People want for you to change, or maybe just for you to leave them alone; they almost certainly don't want you to make yourself suffer for years on end in some misplaced attempt at penance.

3. I know you think this was a fluke, but perhaps the most important thing for you to understand is: it absolutely wasn't.

The violations you've been called out for seem like anomolies that came out of nowhere. But in reality, they're the tip of an iceberg of shitty behavior patterns, and it extends down almost to the core of who you are and how you interact with other people.

Consent Violations are like cockroaches. By the time you've realized there are two of them, I promise you have roughly 1,000 lurking unseen in the walls of your past.

Their presentation may have been as simple as friendly feedback, passing awkward moments, or people who didn't call you back--but I promise, they were there.

4. The problem is that you have a shitty sense of boundaries--both your own and other people's. Normally it's mostly harmless (though it's certainly much more annoying than you realize), but when you carry those behaviors into kink situations, the stakes are much higher and the results are potentially tragic.

5. You need to realize that asserting boundaries is work. Your insecurity leads you to assume that telling you "no" is effortless, but in reality, needing to tell someone "no" almost always takes something out of us.

Your shitty boundaries mean that you expect others to shoulder nearly 100% of that burden, while you yourself take on little or no responsibility in remembering or clarifying what the people around you are and aren't okay with. Sometimes that's exhausting for them, other times it's utterly overwhelming or even tragic.

It's absolutely not enough that you would never knowingly cause anyone harm. You need to realize that "No" is hard, and so when it comes, it won't always sound the way you'd expect it to.

6. I know you're aching to do "the work," that will make you better; you're praying for a bandaid you can rip off that will put everything back to the way it was. The reality is more complicated.

A. You need to address your underlying mental illness. That's as hard as it sounds: therapy, tweak your meds, more therapy, tweak meds again; support groups, volunteer work, meditation, exercise routines, spirituality, positive affirmations, gratitude lists, psychology articles, classes on emotional intelligence, learning to recognize and purge negative people and influences, re-learning healthier forms of social interaction--not to mention the daily work of improving your focus, practicing better self control, and perhaps most of all, learning to actually process emotions instead of drowning them in distractions.

It sounds like a lot because it is, and it will likely be an ongoing struggle forever.

The bright side is, all you need to do is pursue the goal of being even slightly better today than you were yesterday--and, when that's not possible, continue to Hold The Line as best you can. Eventually, the almost imperceptible individual changes will add up in ways that astound you.

B. You need to become a student of boundaries. That isn't just about kink; it's about life. Every day, people around you are setting their own boundaries and reacting to yours. Study that shit, and don't assume that just because you're treated a certain way that it's acceptable.

Perhaps the single biggest problem here is that you're just plain pushy. You need to work on identifying and derailing that tendency in yourself whenever it manifests, big or small.

7. Be slow to declare yourself "cured." It's now four years later, and "cured," isn't accurate. You're still just someone who cares about these issues and works to be better when you see opportunities to do so.

Remember how you thought your early TKs were good, and now you realize they were abominations? This will be an ongoing process as well, and you'll continue to suck at it for embarassingly long.

8. Sometimes you will blame others--mostly for being too critical of you, or not working harder to assert their boundaries.

I've come to believe those feelings are a normal part of the grieving process that you or anyone in your position likely goes through; feel free to experience those emotions and then let them go.

Don't let them define you, your perspective on what happened, or your priorities regarding what to do next. Your focus should always be on what YOU can do differently moving forward.

9. Your boundaries still matter, too, and you need to learn how to express them in healthier ways.

When you have a problem with how someone is treating you or what they're asking of you, your default is to ignore or rationalize it until the situation is truly intolerable--at which point you're prone to exploding on people. It's not healthy for you or anyone else.

You need to learn to identify what you're actually okay with, and then express that as needed--long before you reach a "meltdown" point.

Learning to identify and express what you're okay with will also make it easier to recognize and respect this process in others.

10. Don't plan on forgiveness from anyone. Maybe it'll come someday, but thus far it hasn't and frankly it probably won't.

Either way, don't hinge your growth or recovery on the ways other people feel about you. They're on their own journeys.

-RG

#theropegeek #consent #rgx

62 notes · View notes

tsukifanbase · 4 years ago

Text

Touch His Heart (Obey Me! Guardian! Lucifer x Reader)

Authors Note: i’ll probably be writing some more after this, so request anything your heart desires, my dears!

Warnings: pretty fluffy, lil tiny bit of angst, nothing too bad, oh (m/c) is referred to as a female

--------------------------

“Excuse me?”, Lucifer’s scowl deepened as he spoke those words, trying to reign in the temptation to lash out at Diavolo. He took a deep breath, a sigh brushing past his lips.

“I think it would be very beneficial to you, Lucifer”, Diavolo grinned openly, partially because he knew Lucifer had nearly no choice in the matter.

“You wish for me to babysit the exchange student?”, Lucifer recognized his situation, glaring at the man he owed so much to.

Lucifer was the deity of pride, such a menial task was below him. Along with the fact that his days were already filled by his duties.

“This new student is a human, who lacks the magical power needed to defend herself”, Luci was very close to rolling his eyes, either that or suggesting Mammon for the position, Diavolo’s voice broke through his thoughts, “it would be a great comfort knowing (m/c) was being protected by such a responsible demon”.

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed, trying to feed my pride? Interesting tactic, however-, Luci thought to himself, about to begin listing off the many reasons Mammon would be a better choice.

Before giving Lucifer a chance to debate, Diavolo shooed Luci out of his office, “I’m glad we are in agreement! Best go prepare for her arrival!”.

Lucifer made his way to the hall (m/c) would soon be summoned to, and by the time he arrived and was preparing to welcome you, Lucifer had made up his mind. He would watch over you from a distance, and avoid you as much as possible. Lucifer would protect you whenever necessary, but otherwise, he wanted nothing to do with the measly human that was making his life so difficult.

I imagine you can guess what happened next.

It was late one evening about four weeks into your stay in the Devildom, when you managed change Lucifer’s mind. It wasn’t that difficult, in fact, you already had broken down many of the walls he built up between you two. All Lucifer needed was that final push to finally accept that he didn’t hate your guts.

Lucifer was attempting to complete some paperwork for Diavolo. It was very late night for Luci, or an early morning for some. There weren’t sunrises in Devildom, but on Earth, the sun would have been peaking over the horizon.

You were on Lucifer’s mind, just as you had been ever since you arrived. You weren’t quite as easy to disregard as he had hoped. You were stubborn, and always managed to stick your nose in places that it didn’t belong. Lucifer found you infuriating. The fact that your schemes usually ended up making things better only made him loath you more.

Along with you instantly clicking with his younger brothers. They all trusted you so much. They so easily let their guards down, how could they be so idiotic? It was so obvious, this human had all six of his brothers under her thumb. With one flick of her finger, she could use them for her bidding. And yet it seemed that Lucifer’s brothers were willing to do anything for you regardless, why was that?

What makes this mortal so easy to long for? Lucifer shooed that thought away. He had buried it deep within, but Lucifer had fallen for you the first time your eyes met. He had been warned that you might have been frightened when you arrived. After all, it wasn’t like you had been informed you would be attending a school in the underworld.

However, your eyes held no fear. Nor confusion. You first regarded Lucifer, then scanned the room. Then you turned back to Luci, and what you did afterwards was still etched into his memory. You smiled at him.

It was that moment Lucifer subconsciously made a promise to himself. He would protect that smile of yours- your warmth that made him melt. As long as you would have him, Lucifer truly wanted nothing more than to live by your side, if that meant he could continue feeling the safety he found within your eyes that day.

As mentioned before, however, Lucifer hadn’t quite come to terms with that yet. That was, until he heard his door open.

The door opened slowly, enough so that Lucifer had time to vaguely acknowledge the his watch, and wonder who would be awake at that hour. He figured it was most likely Levi, still awake after gaming all night, or Asmo, on his way out to go get a jump on the lines at his favorite stores.

Lucifer’s eyes drifted from the clock to you. You had a blanket wrapped around your body, and you sleepily reached up to rub your eye while you yawned.

For once, Lucifer was stunned into silence. Rather than pretending to be annoyed at your presence, as he usually did, Lucifer found himself worrying about you. She should be asleep, humans need far more rest than demons, what if she falls ill?

What broke Lucifer out of his thoughts was that contagious smile again. His eyes were glued to you, as you made your way towards him. Lucifer didn’t quite register that you were getting closer until you stood right beside his chair.

“What are you-”, Lucifer began to question, you cut him off by spreading your arms and pulling Luci into a hug. Your blanket engulfed Lucifer as you held him.

Lucifer made no move to hug you back, nor to move away. He was stunned, and hardly had the resolve to push you away. Lucifer was exhausted, and he felt himself turn slightly so he could properly melt into your embrace.

Lucifer wrapped his arms around your waist, and let his eyes flutter closed.

He half expected you to laugh at him, make fun of him for being so weak. You didn’t, you simply moved one of your hands to the back of Lucifer’s head, further tucking his face into your neck.

“Even the most powerful demons have to rest sometimes, Lucifer”, you whispered into his ear. Not many thoughts were going through Luci’s head at this point, but one thing he noted was how much he loved hearing you say his name. How much he loved hearing you, how much he longed for you.

You gently released Luci from the hug, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He felt you pick up his hand, and brush your thumb over his fingers. You didn’t have to say anything for him to know what you wanted. Lucifer stood from his chair, and allowed you to lead him out of the room, and down the hall.

In truth, Lucifer was awake enough to have shooed you away, or lectured you for interrupting him. However, the feeling of your lips against his cheek, your hand leading him, your every move made him ache to love you. Lucifer knew he made the right choice when you arrived at his bedroom.

You pushed the door open without a sound, and pulled it closed once you both had entered. Lucifer sat on the edge of his bed, eyeing you as you placed your blanket beside him, then tugged off his jacket, and hung it in his closet.

At that point, you discerned that he could manage on his own, so you leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Sweet dreams, Lucifer”, a smile spread across your face, and you turned to begin making your way back to your own room.

You didn’t really get far though, as you realized pretty quickly that Lucifer was holding onto the back of your shirt. With a quick tug, Lucifer pulled you back into him.

You landed on his lap, and felt Lucifer bury his face into your neck once more, as his arms snaked around you.

You could practically hear the smirk in his voice, “you forgot the blanket”, Lucifer’s hand crept up your neck and settled on your chin, where he turned your face to look at the forgotten piece of cloth.

Lucifer allowed you to stand, and you turned just a bit too fast.

Your face flushed red as you cast your eyes to somewhere else in the room, Lucifer was shrugging off his shirt. It briefly occurred to you that Lucifer hadn’t actually asked you to stay, he had only pointed out your mistake. However, his true message seeped off of him like his pride.

Lucifer settled himself on his bed, then glanced back over at you.

“Come”, he purred, and he didn’t have to ask you twice. Lucifer engulfed you in his arms once more, and once he closed his eyes, he felt you cup his face, forcing him to look at you.

When you didn’t speak, Lucifer opened his eyes to find you staring at him, admiring him. A light, pink blush dusted his cheeks.

“You worry about everyone, but you never worry about yourself”, you murmured quietly, gently rubbing Lucifer’s cheek with your thumb.

Lucifer could tell you didn’t quite mean to say anything, and that only made your message more endearing to him. He closed his eyes once more, letting himself slowly drift away, lulled by the slow strokes of your thumb.

“Thank you”

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer #obey me fanfic #obey me fandom #fanfic #lucifer x mc

112 notes · View notes

theoriginalpips · 3 years ago

Text

The L word

Hello fellow readers.

I am very sorry for being so absent, i haven´t had much time to write.

And I know when I don´t have time or I´m out of creativity it´s just better not to write.

But today I have some free time and my head is bottled up with thoughts and concerns. Today I want to talk about love.

First of all. Love is defined as “ an intense feeling of deep affection”, but oh god, it´s so much deeper than this.

Some people might think that writing about love is very cliché, they´re probably not wrong. I dare you to name a book, a movie or even a song that it´s not about love. Love, is everywhere. Sometimes as the main character, other times as the side story. But it truly is.

I never really thought about love. At least not as deeply as I am thinking right now. I always knew what love was. Because I always felt very loved, thanks to my precious family. I always knew what siblings love was , I always knew what parents love was . I never knew, althought, what romantic love was, and I don´t think that changed.

I came to the conclusion that the only idea I had about romantic love was what Disney made me idealise. A perfect man, a charming prince waiting for you to bump against him and drop your books. You make eye contact and imediatly fall in love. Well... disney... i am still waiting.

I never realized why I could openly write about everything, but when someone asked me to write about love I never could. I felt really empty inside. In a very dark place, for some reason. Now I understand. How can you write about something you know nothing about? Of course, I know what family love is. But I didn´t want to write about it. I wanted to write about that kinda love that will make you drop anything you´re doing just to see, to talk, to hear that person. That kinda of love that will make you forget about everything and everyone else. That kinda of love that consumes you, in a good way, and that makes you feel alive.

You are probably thinking, “Oh she found someone, and now she knows what love is”, actually I haven´t found anyone, but something has changed, yes. Maybe just in me.

My lack of confidence never made me believe I could actually fall in love. I never believed someone could love me, for me. For my smile, my kindness, my way to view things. But now, I do. I am still very insecure, yes. But I choose to believe that I will eventually feel my heart burning, my stomach floating, and my head spinning as I look at them, and they at me.

Love, is such a complicated thing but at the same time so easy, so beautiful and so rewarding.

Like Luís Vaz de Camões said (a portuguese writer and poet, if you are wondering) “ Love is a fire that burns unseen, a wound that aches yet isn’t felt” (I promise it sounds way better in portuguese). And this is love. Something so strong that burns like fire, hurts like a wound but it´s invisible. Invisible, yet so powerful.

There are so many other ways of love. Love doesn't necessarily mean physical attraction or affection. The true definition of love is the meaning you want to give to it.

Everysingle love story is unique and different. I am still waiting for mine. And if you´re waiting for yours too. Just remember two things. First, don´t rush into anything, when you´re ready, you will know. And secondly, don´t forget you can´t love anyone until you love yourself, and accept who you are.

You are beautiful and so worth it!!

Thank you so much for reading!

I feel like this isn´t the best I´ve written. But I hope you enjoyed it.

I apologize in advance if there´s some word misspelled or if some setence doesn´t make sense. My native language is not English.

Please feel free to share your opinions. I am very curious to know your insights about this topic.

Oh and HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! You deserve to be celebrated.

All my love xx

Moony Girl

6 notes · View notes

hecohansen31 · 5 years ago

Text

Royally Screwed

Ivar+Princess! Reader (Modern AU)

(Secret Project: Happy Birthday Gabi!)

(A/N): Hello there lovelies!

We are all joined here together to celebrate @flowers-in-your-hayr‘s birthday!

So be sure to give the most beautiful and most talented moodboard creator ever a huge hug and wish her ‘Happy Birthday’ because she thoroughly deserve it.

We thought that to celebrate it writing you a few stories based on a few of your most beautiful moodboards (although it was rather difficult, because... I mean... THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL).

I really really hope I have made justice to your beautiful creation!

Also this was a project created by the lovely @maggiescarborough give her a round of applause for her magnificient planning!

WARNINGS: Corny Stuff, Light Mentions to the ‘90s/00s, Not Correct Princess Etiquette and Ivar Just Being a Sassy Asshole).

Moodboard was created and is owned by @flowers-in-your-hayr

It had been a simple Friday night when a princess had entered in Ivar’s life.

But he hadn’t known it, in the slightest.

In the end, he wasn’t anything more than a store clerk at the Blockbuster his uncle Floki owned, since he needed money for college, because not only he had to deal with the absence of his father, but also his mother had recently passed away from a terrible illness, battling with addiction and its hold.

Any guy of his age would have been out, probably hooking up with somebody or taking part in the usual things that boys did when they were carefree and normal.

But Ivar had never been normal.

So, on Friday at 10 p.m. he was looking at the black and white screen of a security camera as he observed the last client of the night, before the typical porno-lovers came crashing in during his night shift.

Honestly, working at a Blockbuster taught you much more about people than a pyschology major could.

And Ivar who was graduating to become a psychanalyst certainly needed all the human expertise he could gain.

Usually at this hour, it was unusual that people entered the store, even more a pretty girl with everything that made her resemble Cher from ‘Clueless’, as she moved across the many sectors, sometimes pushing forward an hand to get a movie, before pushing it back in its place, as if the cover wasn’t what it promised from the plot, noted on its back.

He knew that he was a big creep for checking her out, but he didn’t trust pretty girls like you.

He had caught a few trying to slip DVDs, under their jackets, and it had been awful trying to confront them as they played the ‘dumb blondes’ act, meanwhile he sweated through his shirt because they had this look in them that made him feel beneath them.

It was always like that with pretty girls, for him.

Whether it’d be their pity or disgust, Ivar had never felt himself being treated like an equal.

Which had been all he had wanted, his entire life.

Luckily you didn’t slip anything in your jacket, and he was glad to see you exiting empty handed, probably having been called by your bootie call, at the last moment, because it honestly made no sense for you to be there, alone.

But she didn’t move to the exit door.

No, she moved to him.

Stopping right in front of the cash desk.

In front of him.

“Can I help you with something?” he kind of expected her to ask him some kind of dumb question, because of her entire material girl appeal, but he couldn’t help but notice the slight blush on her cheeks, clearly at unease.

Something the camera hadn’t caught.

“I have been…” she bit her lips, drawing them inside of her mouth, before releasing it in some kind of vapid gesture that would have made everybody else look like an old hag “… I was browsing through the movies and… I might need a hand to choose one”.

He kind of expected you to push him in front of the eternal dilemma of watching for the umpteenth time ‘Spice Girl-The Movie’ or watching some awful corny romantic shit that was so ‘en vogue’ these days.

“… I am more than happy to help” he knew his face said the opposite of what he had told her, but he just wanted to go back to the paper he had been filling for a college class, before you had come there.

Floki had once told me that he should have tried ‘to be nicer’ to clients.

But they all took a good look at Ivar’s legs and they’d be bought.

‘Of course, he is an asshole and shit store clerk…’ they’d say exiting the shop ‘… with those legs… poor him’.

And it just made him be meaner towards clients.

But he was in for a surprise.

Because behind your material girl attitude you exited two movies: ‘Notting Hill’ and ‘Dirty Dancing’, not exactly something that completely distanced you from his initial thoughts of you, but he couldn’t deny that the vintage options definitely surprised him.

“I have never watched either of them” she commented, softly, almost ashamed and Ivar couldn’t help but lower lightly his harsh glare trying to soften its edges.

It was obvious that as much as he hated ‘party girls’, he had misjudged you.

You didn’t seem the type who’d make Ivar life a living hell, if he refused to accept back DVDs smeared with lipsticks.

“Can’t take them both?” he simply blurted out because you seemed loaded from your wardrobe.

“Ahem… I…” she blushed so graciously that Ivar honestly hadn’t the heart to keep the teasing, and lowered his harsh gaze “… my brothers think that I am already a nerd for coming here, if I came back with more than one movie, well they…”.

“I do know something about brothers teasing you” he muttered, as she smiled so openly that it made him smirk lightly and he then proceeded to shift his attention away from your pretty naïve expression, because it was making him feel lightly sweaty…

… and blushy.

“I’d tell you that ‘Dirty Dancing’ is a classic, undoubtedly one of the trashest things to pass a night…” he couldn’t help but adore the light giggle she let out, as she moved a finger in her hair, lightly twisting a strand of hair against it, and ok…

… Ivar had always hated it when girls did, but Gosh… you were adorable.

“… but?” you asked, softly, understanding that he was stalling, as he grabbed ‘Notting Hill’ from you.

“But this is the real shit” he commented.

He knew that he didn’t seem the type who enjoyed those movies, but one some days of his job he was left with nothing to do and he had watched an awful lot of movies, starting to develop a certain passion for a few of them.

Some even that certainly wouldn’t have been approved by the Lothbrock clan.

But she was a stranger, somebody he wouldn’t have ever seen again.

So, he could confess her all the qualities of Notting Hill, meanwhile she looked at him truly enthralled by what he said.

“… boy meets girl, except she is just a superstar actress, and then… they meet again and they fall out and… it certainly gives you a lot of reasons not go out with a public celebrity” he muttered, seeing that tic of biting her lips return, as she grimaced lightly at his words, but eventually she smiled at him, getting the money from her pockets to rent it.

“Ok, you got me hooked up on it”.

He moved to take the money as he registered the loan, but he caught her looking at the ‘Dirty Dancing’ DVD, as if she was extremely sad that she couldn’t take it home, alongside ‘Notting Hill’.

He damned himself for pretty girls and their twirling fingers, having everything wrapped around them.

“What if I push ‘Dirty Dancing’ aside for you?” he asked.

It wasn’t against any policy, but he usually didn’t do any favor to the clients, preferring to simply register their loans or what they had bought.

But he knew what it meant to ache for a little comfort, in life.

For a soft and free gentleness.

“Oh… is that possible?” she seemed honestly surprised he’d do it for her, as if people had never been selflessly gentle with her “Because if it is, I’d love that”.

“Don’t worry” he muttered, as he moved to push the DVD of ‘Dirty Dancing’ under the cash desk, taking a small piece of paper “… just give me a name and phone number”.

She seemed unsure, and he couldn’t blame her: he could be a creep simply asking for a phone number.

But she ended up giving it to him, as he registered it quickly, under her name and he then added the small paper inside the DVD box, again hiding under the cash desk, so that Floki would know that it wasn’t simply a mismatched edition.

“Thank you very much” her tone was again damnably genuine, and Ivar couldn’t fight against the small smirk that appeared on his face.

“Ahh don’t worry, everybody these days, is just interested in the umpteenth rerun of Beverly Hills 90210, so you haven’t made me lose any money” he replied, trying to seem the most detached he could “… just come back next week, letting me know how much your brothers enjoyed it”.

She erupted in a little giddy laughter and he honestly swore that there and then, his heart had stopped for a minute beating, before she took in the bag from his hand, after he had eased off the security measures and given her the small piece of paper with the return date.

“I do think that they’ll cry more than me” she muttered softly before she turned towards the door and Ivar felt like he could breathe again.

And then she twirled another time, the movement lightly making her skirt raise a bit, as he stole a sneaky glance at your thighs.

Gosh, Hvitserk was right, he had a problem.

“Have a nice night!”.

Hadn’t he been smitten with her, already, he’d just have replied something torturously awful, such as ‘thank you, I’ll enjoy having to deal with couples looking a way to spice up their lives with awful porn videos’.

But he simply smiled, the creepiest smile he could deliver since he could see it on the reflecting surface of the glass doors of the shop, as he simply waved slowly his hand to salute her, and then she rushed outside, to an awaiting car.

An awaiting expensive car.

And Ivar fell back on his chair.

And thought about why the heck his heart wouldn’t stop beating that fast.

A few days later he was watching TV with that fucktard of Heahmund, his college roomie.

They hadn’t exactly chosen to be roommates, but Heahmund had been kicked out by too many religious confraternities to have the luxury of a choice.

So, Ivar had been assigned to him, because of his perfect behavior during his college years, hoping it’d influence the other man.

They had begrudgingly set up some rules, and although Ivar hadn’t still got used to Heahmund’s silly faith, they hadn’t killed each other in their sleep yet.

He was watching TV, as he tried to compile an email for his brothers to let them know that they should have worked harder to get back their legacy from Lagertha, who had screwed over their father and mother, and then he saw her, the girl from the store, on TV.

It was definitely because he recognized her thighs.

Gosh, he was a fucking pervert.

She was dressed in an elegant suit, with a tube skirt and an elegant white shirt, matched perfectly with the light blue of the entire ensemble and with your hair brought up in a rather royal hairstyle.

Perfect for the crown nestled on top of her head.

A glimmering tiara on it.

“Turn the fucking volume on” he muttered at a very stoned Heahmund, who was looking half-mindedly the TV, just shooting a confused look at Ivar, who just stole the TV remote from his hand to switch on the audio, catching right when a journalist moved to ask you in the secluded area of what looked like a non-American talk-show with subtitles.

And even your voice corresponded.

“So, you are going to America next week, am I right? Aren’t you excited?” the interviewer asked as if she was the more excited about it of the two, meanwhile the girl from the store (or maybe it was better to say ‘the princess from the store’) smiled awkwardly, definitely not at ease with the affectionate tone of the journalist.

“Yes, of course! I mean it’s America!” the laughter of her reply sounded so fake, that Ivar couldn’t help but be embarrassed at the awkwardness of the situation “… I am just glad to leave home for the first time”.

The last mumble still was sincere, and pretty quickly the interview was cut, bringing it to a more general scheme, which said it all about the mysterious princess of some strange country he had never heard of.

Born and raised inside of a palace, she had two older brothers to whom the crown wouldn’t have been passed down, since the line was transmitted through mother-to-daughter, and she’d be taking the crown at the age of twenty-five, replacing her father’s regency, after her mother’s death.

Why did it have to sound so much like ‘Cinderella’?

Unlike her brothers, she was known for being private about her life, having graduated in a private university in England, early, and being involved in a few humanitarian projects.

She’d be staying in America for a few weeks both to explore the country and to talk about modern matters with a few of politicians, to also expose the openness of her native country.

And Ivar had met you in the shithole of his uncle’s store.

He had always thought that Hugh Grant was a fucking idiot in ‘Notting Hill’ after he had met Julia Roberts’ character, but Gosh… he was glad he hadn’t you in front of him, in that moment, because he’d have probably asked her too if you wanted ‘peaches with honey’.

The focus of the reportage was now onto her again, changed in much more comfortable clothes, although they undoubtedly looked expensive.

She smiled at the camera and then bit her lips, lightly, but definitely showing she wasn’t used to this kind of attention on herself, and he couldn’t blame her, since he had the same problem with barely his family.

‘I really hope to find a second home in America” she closed the interview, waving softly her goodbyes with a soft kiss.

And then Heahmund had to ruin his fantasy.

“You know where you can find a new home? On my…” and before he could complete the awful phrase, Ivar hit him in his head with the remote “… ouch, what the fucking hell?!”.

“Next time be a gentleman” simply mumbled Ivar.

“Is that what your mommy taught you, Ivar dear?” grimaced Heahmund in a sickly sweet tone but Ivar didn’t accept the provocation, simply ignoring his roommate, who went back to his observing of the screen without no noise, as if he was trying to communicate with it.

He should have seriously thought about renting an apartment with Hvitserk, as his brother had suggested.

And he should have thought about having to face her again, with the knowledge that you were a princess.

That Friday night he had been secretly praying she wouldn’t show up, that the phone number was fake and that it was just a big trip of his stupid mind.

But she did show up, this time in a different mise: something like a mixed version between Madonna in her videoclip of ‘Like a Virgin’ and some grunge aesthetic mixed up with the inevitable touch of her ‘material girl’ appearance.

She immediately approached the cash clerk, saluting him as if he was an old friend.

And he, like an idiot, did the waving right back.

‘C’mon, Ivar it isn’t going to be so bad’ he tried to calm himself down ‘… just start a normal conversation, avoid mentioning that she is a princess and give her the damned DVD’.

��Hi” she mumbled softly as he moved to promptly grab the DVD “Thank you for the suggestion! I loved it… the entire interview thing… and ‘I am just a girl…’… but I am blabbering”.

“Ahem no no” he reassured her, shaking his head, as he tried to shake himself out of the stupor of having a princess in his store “… I am glad you liked it”.

“Well, thank you for the suggestion” she shot back, definitely not at ease with awkward silence “… now can I get ‘Dirty Dancing’?”.

“Of course, your highness” it might have passed off as a simple sarcastic joke, but his tone went suddenly serious, and her eyes rushed to his, nervous, obviously even more at unease, after she had been discovered.

“… Gosh… you have seen the shit on TV, haven’t you?”.

He didn’t know whether to be more impressed by the fact that she had read through him immediately or that she had said ‘shit’.

Were princesses even allowed to say that?

“… yeah” he muttered back, as she looked up at the roof, before she uttered down a big huff.

“Please do me a favor and just… don’t tell anybody that I was here”.

“I don’t think that anybody would ever believe me” he shot back, wondering whether he should have respected any etiquette and curtsied to her.

But if she was trying to hide her true identity it probably meant she didn’t want to be treated as a princess.

And she smiled at his comment.

“Thank you, not that I have anything against this place, I honestly like it, and wouldn’t want to move away, again…” she explained calmly, her hands again going to her hair.

“It must be hard” he commented, lightly sarcastic, as he passed the ‘Dirty Dancing’ DVD, unloading the safety on it “… Gosh, don’t you have a better way to pass a Friday night?”.

His tone was harsh, but she didn’t back down, as she held his gaze.

Her tenderness definitely had a limit.

“… I am not one for the parties my brothers attend” she smirked sadly, as she pushed back herself from the counter, lightly adjusting the leather jacket she was wearing over her shoulders “… and every diplomatic event I was supposed to be at, either was too boring or people assumed that I was the waitress”.

“Certainly not because of your impeccable sense of style” he complimented her, a light dash of blush immediately on her cheeks, as she set her eyes on her heeled mary-janes.

“I do have to say that if I walked in dressed like this, they’d probably call security” she mumbled, again giving him a twirl of her skirt “… but thank you for having taste, one of the few things that I like doing in America is dressing as crazily as I want to”.

“If you think that it crazy, sweetheart, you haven’t seen nothing yet” he replied tightly, raising his eyes to meet hers, finding them truly amused, before a sudden light appeared in her eyes, a mischievous light.

“When do you end your shift?” she asked, pushing herself on the rubber tips of her mary-janes as Ivar tried to calm himself down from the fact that a pretty girl, a princess actually, had just asked him out… or so he thought.

“In an hour” Floki had given him a shorter shift, due to the fact that he had told him he’d need a bit of time to study for an important exam, which would be happening on Monday “… but I wouldn’t suggest you hanging out with me, I suck at the conversation stuff”.

“But your taste in movies is good” she retorted as one of her hands moved on the cash desk.

“I could be a psycho”.

“A psycho wouldn’t say that”.

He couldn’t understand the reason behind why she’d want to hang out with him.

She was a princess.

He was a store clerk with a genetic disease and an awful personality.

Things like this only happened in movies and fairytales

“… but if you don’t want to hang out with me, I get it…” she seemed low key used to it, as if it wasn’t unusual for pretty princess like her to get rejected “… just forgive me, I’ll go back and watch ‘Dirty Dancing’, alone…”.

“Don’t make me feel guilty” he muttered under his breath “… I’ll hang with you, but you have to promise me that you’ll watch a few good movies”.

“I have an hour to kill”.

Her smile had him by the balls.

And he knew he was royally screwed.

After waiting for an hour, watching ‘Dirty Dancing’ on the store TV, Ivar finished his turn and he locked the shop beside him, as she waited for him outside, smirking.

She hadn’t seemed too fazed by Ivar’s legs, as she had seen them, and if she was, she didn’t show it on her face and she looked completely at ease, outside, although she pushed the hood of her hoodie over her head, to hide her face.

“Aren’t you seriously worried that I might turn out to be a psycho?” Ivar asked, sure that there would be more behind all of this.

She could actually be the psycho.

And yet he couldn’t push himself away from her.

“I don’t get those vibes from you, and no offense…” she shot a quick look at her legs “…but I was on the run team”.

“Gosh, are you even real?” he threw back, as he led her inside to the nicest fast food chain, still open.

“My brothers say that I am from another era” she joked, as she sat down in front of him meanwhile he busied himself from the menu, more to hide himself than because he needed to check it out, since he basically lived in this place “… one where girls hid behind folding fans and wore petticoats”.

“What the hell is a petticoat?” he mumbled, but they were interrupted by the waitress asking their orders, sending Ivar an impressed look, as he hid further in the menu.

They spent a few more minutes in a comfortable small talk, talking about whatever ran around their mind, in a strange and natural chemistry that flooded, as she muttered of everything in the least princess-y style.

But her impeccable manners immediately came back, as she tried to cut through a burger with her knife and fork, making Ivar inevitably laugh, and he had to explain her that in America ‘eating with your hands is proper’.

“… America is strange” she mumbled lightly.

“You can say so”.

But he was soon distracted by the way she moved to eat the burger, very very much surprised that a princess could be so disgraceful.

“… don’t laugh… please” she mumbled as soon as she realized that he was staring “… my brothers bullied me for it”.

“Something that we have in common” he replied directly.

“You also were bullied by your brothers?” she asked surprisedly.

“Yeah and I hadn’t simply two… but four”.

“Wow, your mother deserves an award”.

“She would have loved that” a slight ghost of pain appeared in his eyes as he shielded them away from her, but she caught it just in time.

“I am sorry” she seemed honestly moved by what he had just said, sending him a soft look.

“Thanks” he muttered, before rushing to shift the attention away “… so do you have any weird habits that I should know of, uptown girl?”.

“Now you are being a psycho” she replied, as she pushed herself up from the drink she was gulping down.

“I told you”.

They both erupted in laughter, which kept happening also after they left the fast food restaurant so Ivar could accompany her back to her hotel.

‘You don’t have to’ she had tried to persuade him, again that expression of surprise at him being nice with her ‘… I’ll just get a taxi’.

‘I do think that you’ll take more to call a taxi than to arrive by feet’ he had shot back ‘… and also, as the true psycho that I am… I have to see where you live so that I can send you black dahlias, each day’.

She had just told him that if he wanted to send her anything, he should have thought about sunflowers.

‘They are my favorites!’.

At the entrance of the expensive hotel, they both were stalling, as if neither of them wanted to leave.

“It was nice…” he muttered, looking down at his doc martens “… I mean…”.

“I totally get it” she stopped him softly “… tonight I had the most fun I have had since I came in America”.

“Gosh, then you seriously had a shitty experience!”.

Again laughter, and then an obnoxious sound trilling through their soft awkward laughs, making her reach out in her pockets and get out a small bedazzled cellphone, making Ivar laugh, as she shushed him with a quick look, before she moved to reply.

“… yeah yeah, I am at the hotel” she muttered quickly in English, before she moved in a softer tone and in a different language, although from her voice, she was annoyed with whoever had called her, eventually ending the call as the other person was still talking to her.

She just sent him a quick look, before shaking her head.

“… my brothers just got back from a party and didn’t find him inside”.

“Don’t you have bodyguards?” he had been surprised by how freely she was allowed to go outside.

“Ahem… I might have sent them to get me food and then escaped the room” he sent you an impressed look “… that is what happens when people think that you aren’t some kind of ‘rebellious party girl’ “.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me” he smirked lightly, making her giggle.

That sound honestly would have lulled him to sleep, that night.

“Thank you…” her mutter was so soft, that he was sure that the light nightly breeze would have swept it away from him “… not solely for keeping the secrets, but also for the good night”.

“It was my pleasure, your highness” he retorted with a haughty look, as she just shot him light smirk before she pushed her shoulder straighter in a truly royal pose.

And she commented before slipping inside.

“It’s your Brilliance, actually”.

And Ivar wasn’t sure if he had just imagined it or it was real.

Either way, he went to sleep with a smile on his face.

She kept on showing up to his work, to the point that Floki asked him, if ‘his crippled ass had finally gotten himself a pretty girl’.

But he had simply replied that she was just somebody who had started sticking around him.

‘Whatever you say, asshole’ had replied Floki with a wink, before she came to gain a few movie suggestions, and as soon as his turn was over, she’d be already waiting, either a leather jacket or a denim one on her shoulders, for them to discover the newest and greasiest fast food, America could offer.

He had once muttered about how he never thought that princesses enjoyed ‘that shit’.

‘I have been feeding on broccolis, since I was five’ she had retorted with a stern look ‘… I’ll take “that shit” over everything else’.

He had discovered that being a princess wasn’t in the slightest as amazing as he had thought, but still she couldn’t deny that many of the chances she got in life were because of her titles.

Which just made it all worse.

‘I never know if people are truly nice with me because they truly like me or if they… do it because I am a princess’ she had been playing with her food, suddenly sated, as she hid her eyes from him ‘… and they want something from me’.

He knew that she was examining him still, almost as if to see in which one of the sections he fell in.

‘Yeah, you know, it’d be nice, if her royal Brilliance paid for her burgers’ he had retorted, as she had giggled lightly, before she had gone one step further and paid for the all the fast food clients of the night, getting a crazed look from their waitress, meanwhile Ivar’s open mouth fell almost to his feet.

They then had to rush off, since it wouldn’t undoubtedly attract curious eyes.

Some days they’d just crack up jokes and talk about movies and sometimes they’d sit in comfortable silence, needing simply a look to be understood.

It took Ivar a whole week to fall in love with a princess.

He couldn’t deny that whenever she’d smile at him, his heart almost wanted to jump out of this chest.

And whenever they’d have to separate, because she had to go back, he’d be left almost dealing with the side effects of it.

But although his feelings were as evident as ever, he had to hide them from her.

Because, although she might have found a perfect jester in Ivar, she wasn’t the type of girl that went for the cripple.

And she had a crown to keep on her head.

So, it was fun while it lasted.

But when it wouldn’t, anymore…

… it’d break his heart.

That day he had noticed that she didn’t look as comfortable as the previous nights, her mind pushed off away from him, almost as if she was hiding it from him, because she knew that her eyes would reveal all the truth.

And her replies were as weak as your laugh.

And he had had enough.

“… did you lose your crown, in all your designer clothes?” he had harshly commented, although he knew that she wouldn’t take it personally.

“I am going back tomorrow” she revealed, finally raising her face, her lips pushed in a grimace, almost as if the words tasted sour in her mouth “… I have nothing more to do, and I’ll go back, since I have more etiquette lessons to attend”.

The joke didn’t sound half as funny as it should have been, almost being choked in her mouth.

And Ivar couldn’t help but say nothing.

He knew that it’d happen…

… but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon.

And so abruptly.

“I have a flight at 5 p.m., tomorrow, so I don’t think that there’ll be any other nightly rampages” again nothing in her tone sounded as joyful as it should have been.

He was glad he wouldn’t be the only one feeling like shit.

In the first days, he had simply believed that after she’d be leaving him, everything would go back to how it was.

It’d be just ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’.

But right now… he didn’t know if he could go back to a time before her.

If he wanted to go back

Because although it hurt, the thought of having lived those moments.

They almost warmed up his cold and dark heart.

“I’ll miss you” it was the closest he could come to admitting his feelings

And before he knew it, she was bringing him in a tight hug, something wet staining his stupid work uniform, but he didn’t care as he held her tighter

There weren’t many words as you said ‘goodbye’, in a light and soft way, almost as if they both didn’t believe it.

But it had to happen.

And yet, as he woke up that morning, with the beautiful sound of his awful roommate bumping in the coffee table, he couldn’t help but think that he wouldn’t see her lounging annoyedly by the cash desk, asking him with her fluttery eyes whether they’d be leaving soon or she had the time to watch ‘Grease’.

He wouldn’t have anybody to tease, because she could ride horses but still was scared of dogs, hiding behind Ivar.

And he wouldn’t have anybody that truly understood him.

But what was truly eating him inside was the fact that she’d go without knowing truly how he felt about her.

He had hated the main character of any rom-com, who did amazing but stupid things, because they certainly didn’t work in real life.

There were a few thousands reasons why he might have trouble getting past the security measures at the airport, just to tell her ‘I really like you’.

And to be rejected in front of anybody?

He wasn’t Jerry McGuire.

Although you were prettier than Reneé Zellweger.

One more reason not to run at the airport and get dumped there.

And then he heard a knocking on the door.

He hoped it wasn’t Ubbe with his monthly check, because his house smelled like pot and he had some girl’s underwear on his sofa.

But it was worse: it was you.

“Before you accuse me of stalking, Floki gave me your address, yesterday” she commented promptly, decked in definitely a more elegant assemble than the ones you usually wore, with a long trench-coat hiding a lilac sweater and a checkered skirt.

“… I… I’ll kill Floki” he would have definitely.

And then set fire to the fucking store.

“Oh c’mon, he seems a nice boss” she replied, biting her lips, a dash of natural blush on her adorable cheeks.

“… he gave my address to a stranger”.

“A royal stranger” she reminded him “Not that I don’t love talking here, but my heels are killing me, so can I move inside?”.

He took in a deep breath, before pinching his hip, to assure himself this wasn’t a dream, and he ducked his head, inside to see if Heahmund had passed out on the floor or he had reached his room safely.

“Yeah, but just… close your eyes, I’ll guide you”.

“You went back to the creepy questions” but she still closed her eyes as she stepped inside, immediately sniffling the air around “… nice smell”.

“Thank you, it’s pot” he mumbled, rushing in his room, as she giggled beside him.

And when they were both inside, he couldn’t help but realize that he had his own Anna Scott, in his own house.

And he wasn’t acting any better than Hugh Grant.

As he sat down on his bed, she circled his room, curiosity shining in her eyes, as if it was a completely different and exciting world for her.

“Not that I don’t mind seeing your royal ass, but… what are you doing here?” he asked, a bit harsh, because he couldn’t help but feel insecure about this entire situation “… don’t you have an airplane to take?”.

“I couldn’t” she mumbled, almost as if it was the most natural thing “… my brothers are going back, I have… I have asked around and I’ll stick here to be a diplomatic”.

This time it was Ivar who bit his lips, nervously.

‘Don’t think that she has done it for you!’.

“Good! I can give you a proper education on cinematographic masterpieces”.

They both erupted in an awkward laugh, but then she moved closer to him, sitting down beside him on his bed.

That was the closest he had ever come to a woman.

“… I was hoping… but maybe… I got it all wrong…” she stammered through her words “… but I really like spending time with you, and it makes me feel normal…”.

He looked at her as if she was revealing him some universal truth.

“… and that isn’t something that many people have made me feel like…I always… I’d just like to maybe get to know you more than simply for your favorite movies…”.

That still didn’t mean anything.

“Ok” he mumbled “… but we can do it over emails”.

She looked up at the roof of the room, as if she was exasperated that he wasn’t simply getting it.

And finally, she smashed her lips against his.

And his body was definitely faster than his mind, gently bringing him closer as their mouths met again and again, till they were breathless, but she still uttered.

“Can you do that through emails?”.

Five years later, a crown on her head and a ring on her fingers, Ivar was standing at the other end of a big altar in a meek and private church of your native country.

It wasn’t exactly private, if he thought about all the cameras carefully set up everywhere to broadcast the royal wedding live.

But he had married a princess.

So, what could he have truly expected?

His princess had stayed in America for a year, before being called back to your country, but Ivar had moved back to your native country with her, having converted his degree into one that could be followed online.

Except that he hadn’t much to leave behind, starting a great adventure, with her.

His brothers? They would have been fine without him, even better.

His grudge against Lagertha? He could still operate better from another country.

Floki? He, himself, had told him to move the fuck away and get himself the princess.

In the end, there wasn’t anything holding him back and certainly his mother would have just approved.

She would have greatly approved his princess.

Who didn’t approve of this marriage was… her father.

He hadn’t said much when she had come back with a common boy, even more… a cripple.

But he hadn’t been truly problematic till you had mentioned your willingness to marry Ivar, after he had asked you the faithful question.

He hadn’t expected your father’s resistance, although he should have predicted it.

But in a few days the question had moved from a simple ‘no’, to a question of power and dynasty, since her father had stopped her from legally marrying Ivar.

And then she had told him that if he did forbid her from marrying Ivar, she would have gladly forsaken the crown.

Ivar had then told her to just forget about him, almost booked his travel back to America with a heavy heart, but he had thought to make the right choice, the brave one.

And the following day he had found her with her suitcase done and a ticket back to America, with him.

Then her father had started seeing the light, even more because her brothers, who teased Ivar endlessly, had pushed back their own right to the crown, forsaking it, if she ended up being dethroned.

And in the end her father had allowed the wedding.

‘You’ll regret it’ had mumbled her father but she had just smiled.

And Ivar now felt horridly stuck between two fires.

At unease in his elegant designer suit, as Helga held him close, since she had insisted on supporting him, alongside Floki and his brothers, who had come there for it, meeting his soon-to-be-bride a few days before the wedding.

It was useless to say they had all been impressed.

Although his family was more wanted by her, than actually him.

It just made him feel more nervous.

And he had to admit that he had been having a bad case of cold feet since the previous night.

It just…

He wasn’t used to be under the scrutiny of thousands of thousands of people.

They were probably thinking ‘look at this idiotic princess, falling in love with a cripple with anger issues’.

And then she walked in, hand in hand with her father.

He knew that she’d wear something that would look amazingly on her, some tulle atrocity, but in the end, it turned to be even more stunning than he had thought.

The dress didn’t make her seem like a cake, but instead elegantly slid down her body in a long and elegant trail, decorated with trims of lace that hid her face.

But he could still see her energetic smile.

Her honest smile.

And the cold feet melted with the floor under them, as he smiled right back at her, sure of what was going to happen.

Sure, that he wanted this royal wedding.

As she came by his side, silence following him, he finally breathed.

Loudly.

Making her laugh lightly, as she joined their hands, although it wasn’t protocol.

But when had she ever cared about it?

“We are here reunited to join princess (Y/N) of (N/C) and Ivar Lothbrock for the prosperity of the reign”.

Ivar couldn’t listen anymore to judge of peace you had chosen, since Ivar wasn’t catholic, another break in the protocol.

And he did another, as he gently whispered in your hear.

‘You are lovelier now than you have ever been’.

“Don’t be corny” she mumbled keeping her head straighter, as she faked listening to judge.

“I was just quoting Notting Hill” he replied, pouting lightly and faking of being perfectly still for the camera.

“After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” she retorted, and he cracked up a light laugh.

“Will you leave the ‘don’t put baby in a corner’ for the vows?” he joked, gaining an enormous side-eye by his father-in-law.

“Just you wait, prince Ivar, just you wait”.

---

(Ivar Taglist)

@youbloodymadgenius @alexhandersenx @peaceisadirtyword @fckingdiva

#Ivar #Ivar The Boneless #Ivar Reader #Ivar x Reader #Ivar Imagine #Ivar Fic #Ivar The Boneless Fic #Ivar Fluff #Fluff #Modern! Ivar #Modern AU #Ivar Lothbrock #Ivar Lothbrock Imagine #Ivar Ragnarrson #Ivar Ragnarsson Imagine #Vikings #History Vikings #Vikings Imagine

118 notes · View notes

imaginesfora3 · 4 years ago

Note

Could you do chai tea and Tsumugi please :)

Tsukioka Tsumugi:

chai tea; how do they spice up their relationship?

A weekend getaway sounded like a dream.

Tsumugi was an acting addict through and through, and while you’d accepted that part of him from the very start, it didn’t mean he was any less interested in spending his free time with you. He practiced daily and he disliked leaving the dorm for more than a night, meaning the two of you rarely had a romantic getaway of any sort. You didn’t feel insulted by it as you knew Tsumugi was truly dedicated to his work and to the Mankai Company but you couldn’t help but be frustrated sometimes with the lack of change in the relationship.

It had taken some time for Tsumugi to find a comfortable balance in life, able to practice as he needed, spend time with you, and tutor his students. He noticed that you seemed to consider yourself the least important of the three, questioning his ability to be a good boyfriend and realizing the moment he started to become self-deprecating again he’d have lost the fight to change. He’d become more determined than ever to prove to you that despite his flaws he cared about you, despite his acting addiction he loved spending his time with you, too. He still seemed to spend a lot of his time with the company, even using some of his days off to practice with Tasuku before he came to see you, but you at least knew he was trying.

Which is why you’re surprised when he suddenly called you up, tone excited as he told you about how he’d won the two of you a trip.

“A rock-paper-scissors competition? Seriously?” You’re holding back your giggles as Tsumugi tells you all the details, explaining how he’d been approached on the street due to looking like an easy target for some potential scam. When Tasuku had carefully looked over the details he realized what the schtick was and told his childhood friend about it, who was more than willing to bet his tricks would benefit over the other contestants.

He was apparently proven correct as the other contestant, the one rigged to win it all, went down in flames as Tsumugi openly admitted to what hand he’d be throwing down. You truly wished you could’ve been there but you could tell just by his voice that Tsumugi had a bright smile on his face, smiling so wide that his cheeks ached. But a trip…?

“Are you sure, Tsumu? The company and all…”

“Ah, I thought about it too but… You’ve been so patient with me and we haven’t had the chance to be alone for awhile. I was trying to think of good ideas when this fell in my lap! Don’t you think it sounds like a sign?” You can practically see Tasuku rolling his eyes in the background.

“Sounds like a sign to me.”

A tropical vacation with your one and only, having him all to yourself without acting getting in the way? Able to cuddle up with him at night, waking up to a lavish breakfast and beautiful views? Walking hand in hand as you appreciate the scenery, leaning over to steal kisses as the two of you lounge on the beach together and truly relax?

You really must be dreaming.

#Tsukioka Tsumugi #Tsumugi Tsukioka #A3 #A3!#Act! Addict! Actors!#A3 Imagines #A3 x Reader #Tsukioka Tsumugi x Reader #Tsumugi Tsukioka x Reader #Scenario #Tea Meme

86 notes · View notes

emachinescat · 4 years ago

Text

And That Would Be Enough

A Merlin Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat

@febuwhump day 27 - “I wish I had never given you a chance”

Summary: In a moment of grief, Arthur says something to his newly appointed Court Sorcerer that he instantly regrets.

Characters: Merlin, Arthur

Words: 2,752

TW: None

Note: Emotional whump is still whump, right? :) This was written while sick, and I didn't have time to edit, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes. I will go back and edit after posting; I'm on a bit of a time crunch. This takes place in an AU Camelot where Arthur lives, the knights are all alive, and Merlin is made Arthur's court sorcerer.

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

Words are powerful things. As king of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon knew very well how a few simple words had the power to heal or to destroy, to build or to tear down, to foster friendship or feed hatred. He had seen words ruin lives, give hope, change the course of entire nations. His own words had impacted his kingdom and the people around him in unprecedented ways.

The words of a king held the potential for great and terrible things, which was why Arthur always chose his words as king so carefully. The words of a grieving friend had just as much power for making or breaking a world, if not more so – and despite all his diplomacy, all of his training, the king of Camelot still struggled to choose his words wisely when he was hurting, particularly when he was speaking to those closest to him. Perhaps that is the way of humanity – we allow our naturally self-destructive nature to chip away at the relationships and people that mean the most to us, and sometimes, when life spins too far out of our control, we snap, and words that we do not mean, never would mean, come flying out like an arrow from a ranger’s bow, aimed straight for the hearts of our dearest friends.

Now, Arthur Pendragon’s words had changed no one’s life more completely than his former manservant, Merlin’s. Just a week ago, Arthur’s lips had formed the words in front of his court and Camelot that Merlin was not only to be a freeman of Camelot, but that magic was legal in the kingdom after over twenty-five years of fear and hatred for peaceful magic users, and that it was Merlin, his new Court Sorcerer, who would oversee the magical protection of Camelot, and who would ensure that magic was only used for good. Arthur would never forget the disbelieving joy shining in Merlin’s eyes in that moment as he gazed out upon the home that finally accepted him, looked at his king and saw nothing but pride and friendship in his gaze where he had once feared fear and judgment. It had been a staggering moment for Arthur, that weighty realization that Merlin had truly lived his life in fear of being killed because of how he was born, that the king was now witnessing a soul set free and the beginning of a new era. Never, he told himself as he watched his Court Sorcerer wave tentatively to the gathered crowd, would he allow Merlin to go back to feeling like he was a mistake, like he was a monster, like he wasn’t enough.

He meant that oath when he made it to himself. Unfortunately, tragedy has a way of taking our promises, even the most sacred ones, and stripping them from us like bark from a tree. Pain and loss break us down and force us to our knees and pull hurtful words from the pits of our pain and we throw them around at those who want nothing more than to help us.

The attack on the patrol had been unexpected and brutal. For the first time, king and warlock had fought openly, side by side, and Arthur saw yet again how powerful his clumsy friend truly was, and his heart swelled with pride and love for the man who had stood so loyally by his side for so long. Merlin protected his king and the knights diligently, but as so often happens in any battle, someone strayed too far from the group and fell through the cracks. Merlin tried to save Sir Arnold, a young knight who Arthur had personally scouted, recruited, and trained as part of his initiative to bring in more loyal and talented men regardless of nobility. Arnold had been a farmer’s son from a small village on the outskirts of Camelot, and he was a natural fighter, a brave, selfless young man who had wormed his way into the hearts of Arthur and his men.

He was only twenty years old when he was killed in the senseless, stupid bandit attack, and though Arthur had seen Merlin fight, watched the pain at the loss fill his eyes the moment that Arnold fell, the king’s grief and loss shrouded his vision and he lashed out after the battle at the only person who might have been powerful enough to stop it and hadn’t. He knew that Merlin had done everything he had to protect all of them, and knew that Merlin too had been close to the young knight, who had thought magic was the most amazing art in the five kingdoms and had followed Merlin around like a loyal pup, bright eyes alight for more displays of magic. And yet, despite knowing this, Arthur’s words careened out of his grasp in his shock and pain, and he said words to Merlin that took everything his closest friend held dear and smashed it to a million pieces. Never had Arthur regretted words he had spoken so desperately the second they left his tongue.

“I wish I had never given you a chance! What’s the point of your magic, Merlin, if you can’t keep the people who trust in you alive? Arnold trusted that you would keep him safe, and you let him down. You failed him. Maybe my father was right. Maybe magic’s more trouble than it’s worth!”

He didn’t mean a word of it, of course. But Arthur had just watched a young man who had had so much potential die before his eyes, cut down by a bandit’s sword – a weapon normally so useless in the face of magic. Grief had sunk its raking claws into his flesh and spit vile lies into his ears, and he lashed out at the person who had just saved his life, and everyone else’s – Gwaine’s, Elyan’s, Lancelot’s, Percival’s, Leon’s, Arthur’s lives. One person had gotten himself into danger that even Merlin hadn’t been fast enough to stop. And yet, instead of focusing on the fact that Merlin had saved everyone else, instead of thinking about how Merlin would already feel guilty and devastated at his perceived failure, Arthur allowed his emotions to twist his words into something to harm, not to heal, and he watched with horror as Merlin’s tentative grasp on control and self-worth crumpled with his face.

Arthur could feel the glares of his knights on him the moment the words escaped, but he had eyes only for his Court Sorcerer, who was backing away with a horrible, broken look in his eyes. Arthur reached out a hand as if trying to grab the hurtful things he had said, as if trying to snatch them back. But it was too late, and he lowered his hand. “Merlin, I–”

Merlin shook his head, and Arthur could see him trembling. “I’m sorry, Sire,” the sorcerer said, then he turned and disappeared, quite literally, into thin air. Arthur knew he wouldn’t be far – he wouldn’t leave them unprotected, but decided to give Merlin time before he pursued this again. Meanwhile, he knew, his knights would not be pleased with him, and as he predicted, they made no attempt to hide their disapproval for his treatment of his closest friend. Arthur carried Sir Arnold’s body on his own horse, and the ride back to the citadel was passed in solemn silence.

Arthur dearly missed Merlin’s company during the short but hard ride home.

***

That evening, after Arthur had personally spoken to Arnold’s poor father, had somehow found it within him to give him the news that no parent ever wanted to hear, Arthur found himself on The Balcony – the one that his father, and now Arthur himself, used to look out upon his kingdom and address his people.

For a while, he just gazed out at the citadel, at the manifestation of all that his father before him, and then he himself, with Gwen and Merlin and his knights by his sides, had built and refined. After a while, he realized that he was no longer alone, though he could see or hear no one.

“I can tell you’re there, Merlin,” the king said heavily.

Merlin shimmered into view to Arthur’s left. The king glanced over, slightly amused, mostly proud, to see that Merlin had unconsciously adopted the same stance as his king – spine erect, hands folded and forearms resting on the railing, chin high and face set firm. In that moment, Arthur felt power and nobility radiating off of the sorcerer more acutely than he ever had before. For the first time, perhaps, he could truly feel the weight of the destiny Merlin had told him about, see the prophesied warlock Emrys stand tall with the world placed squarely on his shoulders. Arthur felt an aching desire to take some of that weight from his friend and bear it on his own back.

Instead, because it was the only way he knew how to deal with his emotions and affection for his former servant, Arthur complained. “It’s freaky that you can do that, you know.”

“Do what?”

“Turn yourself invisible. Are you sure it’s a power you can use responsibly?”

He imagined an amused smirk on Merlin’s lips, but when he glanced over at his friend, the warlock’s face had not changed; it seemed to have been carved from stone.

And so Arthur pushed back his fear and discomfort and grief and pain and said what he truly needed to say, despite how uncomfortable it was, despite how much he felt that he had no right to even speak to Merlin in that moment, let alone request his forgiveness, his friendship. “I cannot express how sorry I am for what I said to you today.”

This time, Merlin shrugged – Arthur caught the motion in the corner of his eye. “You spoke the truth, Sire.”

Arthur really hated it when Merlin called him Sire .

“No, I didn’t,” the king insisted, and when Merlin continued to stare forward, he couldn’t help himself – couldn’t stand to see Merlin shouldering a blame and a pain that Arthur had helped put there, had encouraged with thoughtless words and his own misplaced grief. He reached out, grabbed Merlin by the shoulders, and spun him around so they were facing one another. Merlin looked up at him, and Arthur saw why Merlin had refused to look at him.

He was crying.

Arthur let go of his friend’s thin frame so abruptly it was as if he had been burned. “Gods, Merlin, I’m sorry. I had no right – no right – to make you feel like Arnold’s death was your fault.”

A tear crawled down Merlin’s face, caught on the edge of his cheekbone, and hovered there for a moment that spanned eternity. Finally, it plunged, disappearing into the neckerchief that Merlin had insisted he keep wearing despite his new and improved title.

“You made yourself very clear,” the warlock said in the most measured voice he could muster. Anyone other than Arthur might have been fooled by the stoicism, but the king, who had known Merlin for so long and been through so much with him, heard the tiniest of tremors and could not recall a time that he hated himself more than this. “And anyway,” Merlin continued. “You were right.” He spread his hands out wide, and magic, cerulean sparks of light that Arthur had come to associate with everything good that Merlin was, sprang to life between them. As the king watched, the color changed from blue to purple to a dark, blood red. “What is the point of my power if it can’t protect everyone ?”

Arthur, having been reminded so fully the power of words, chose his next ones very carefully. “No one,” he said slowly, “not even the great Emrys , not even my oldest, dearest friend, can take care of everyone all the time.”

Another tear rambled down Merlin’s cheek, curled around his trembling chin before dropping off to join the first. “But you were right, Arthur. Arnold – he trusted me.”

“And he was right to.” Arthur put every ounce of conviction he possessed into his assurance. “I saw what happened, Merlin. The moment he was hit, you were protecting Gwaine from a surprise attack from behind. Your back was turned at just the wrong moment. Arnold had wandered out of your line of sight, as well. And you did everything to save him when he went down.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“Sometimes our best isn’t enough,” Arthur reminded Merlin. “But we have to make it enough. We have to understand that even if we can’t protect everyone all the time, that we ourselves are still enough. As long as we try , it has to be enough.”

“Well, it’s not.”

“I know.”

They stood in silence, and they grieved their fallen friend. Somewhere along the way, Arthur’s hand found its way onto the back of Merlin’s neck, and without either of them realizing it was happening, the king pulled his dear friend into an embrace, and together they wept for the good man that had been lost.

When Merlin finally drew away, his eyes red and puffy – Arthur knew his own must look the same – he managed a shaky smile that didn’t reach his eyes, but Arthur knew that for now, it would have to be enough. “I know you didn’t mean what you said,” the warlock acknowledged.

“But it still hurt you,” Arthur observed. Merlin dropped his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does . Merlin, I would be dead a million times over if it weren’t for you. So would the knights. But – but , that does not mean that if something happens to one of us that you failed. You may be magic itself, but you’re still only one person.”

“Technically, I’m two,” Merlin argued miserably. “And Emrys is supposed to keep everyone safe.”

Arthur studied his friend in the moonlight, then patted him kindly on the back. “When I look at you, whether you’re doing powerful magic or tripping over a blade of grass, I don’t see Emrys and Merlin – I just see you . And you keep me safe, you always have. You do your job, and you do it well, Merlin. Sometimes, people are lost, and it hurts . But the only person you have control over is yourself. Something I have had to learn the hard way as king is that you can’t always keep everyone safe. You just have to do your best.”

Merlin sniffled, and he now looked like a lost child rather than a powerful sorcerer. When he spoke, his voice was thin, weak. “Do you still wish you’d never given me a chance?”

The question, asked sincerely, struck Arthur in the heart like an assassin’s blade. “I never should have said that,” he said earnestly. “And I know that I hurt you, and that you will spend years fighting those words said in a moment of pain, but I promise you that I will not rest until I have convinced you of the truth – that I have never been happier, or more proud, to have you by my side, old friend. I’m delighted to have given you – and your magic, and our destiny – a chance.”

“Maybe you have the makings of a great king, after all,” Merlin joked, and this time, the tiniest of smiles glinted in his eyes. He added mischievously, “Tell anyone I said that, and I’ll turn you into a toad.”

Arthur smirked. “I don’t know, Merlin – maybe being a toad would be easier than all of this.”

They sobered at the collective thought of the friend they had lost. Merlin scrubbed his face with the back of his hand. After a moment of subdued silence, he took up the olive branch his king had offered him and joked, “But just think about how many things would want to kill you if you were a toad.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “And that’s different than now because…?”

Merlin gave a curt nod as the two, in some unspoken agreement, turned and began to make their way back into the castle. “Fair point.”

“Either way, though,” Arthur pressed, jabbing his elbow playfully into Merlin’s side, “I’d have you to protect me, right?”

Merlin took far too long to think about his answer.

“Merlin!”

“It’s just I’m not too fond of toads,” Merlin admitted.

“Merlin!”

And side by side, king and warlock made their way through the grief and uncertainty and guilt and hurt the way they always did –

Together.

10 notes · View notes

taeyongdoyoung · 4 years ago

Photo

summary: the forest is your only escape from the everyday troubles with your family until you find danger lurking behind the trees. or rather, danger finds you. your fateful encounter with the vampire ravn leaves you wishing for a different life. you strike an unexpected deal with the stranger that will soon turn into something more…

pairing: vampire!ravn x reader

genre: vampire!au, romance, humour, fluff, light angst

warnings: incessant flirting, these idiots can’t help themselves, af- 🤢 i can’t even say it 🤢 af-fection

word count: 2k

part one 🌙 part two 🌙 part three 🌙 part four 🌙 part six 🌙 part seven 🌙 part eight 🌙 part nine 🌙 part ten🌙 part eleven 🌙 part twelve 🌙 epilogue

After your journey to London, you became more open around Ravn. It was way easier to talk to him about anything, to share your worries and wishes freely. And you were beyond grateful that he was so willing to listen and to accept you for who you were.

The next time you desired to go out for a walk, you didn’t need to be subtle about it or lie about how you were truly feeling. Because you knew that Ravn had your best interest at heart and he would do anything to make you happy. You secretly hoped he would realize the one thing that was missing. You weren’t ready to be honest about that yet. But maybe one day…

“Shall we go to the forest?” you suggested casually.

“Of course,” Ravn responded eagerly and pulled you close immediately so that he could use his super speed and get you there faster. You didn’t fight him, because despite the initial shock, you had become used to his abilities. It wasn’t scary for you, even though he told you on multiple occasions not to trust him blindly. Excitement was the only emotion you felt when you were in his arms.

Once you ended up in the forest, you were surprised to find out it was a corner of it you had never explored on your own. You looked up at Ravn in confusion.

“Where are we?”

“Don’t worry,” he replied with a confident smirk. “You won’t get lost. Not when I’m around.”

You smiled despite yourself and followed him happily. You had no idea where he was taking you but you trusted his words.

“I used to hunt here,” Ravn told you. “Before…”

You could hear the unspoken you he had in mind. He had predominantly hunted wild animals before he met you. You didn’t know how that made you feel. Special? As if you were the chosen one.

“Are you going to hunt now?” you asked curiously.

Ravn laughed and shook his head.

“Why? Are you self-conscious about it?” you teased him relentlessly.

“That’s not it. It’s hard enough for me to control myself when drinking from you. I don’t…want you to see me kill another creature.”

“Are you afraid I’ll start seeing you differently?” you guessed correctly.

Ravn looked away in shame and said nothing. But the silence was answer enough. You decided to drop it, because he seemed uncomfortable talking about it and you didn’t want to further torment his already wounded heart.

“We’re here,” he suddenly came to a halt and you were faced with a small lake that was glowing in colour because of the sunlight. Ravn squatted next to it and placed his pale hand inside the water. You stared at him, mesmerized as the glow transferred onto his skin, the sun making it shine like diamonds. He looked back at you, awaiting your reaction.

“You’re…so beautiful,” you whispered, without even realizing what you were saying.

Ravn frowned.

“You’re not scared of me?” he seemed genuinely confused by how calm you appeared.

“Should I be?” you played along.

“I am the fastest being in the world. I could snap your neck in half with one finger. I’m not…human,” he said the last word somewhat regretfully.

“I don’t care,” you reassured him. “I know you won’t hurt me.”

Ravn pulled his hand out of the water and swiftly got up, making a couple of large steps further away from you.

“You don’t know that,” he chuckled ironically. “You don’t know anything about me.”

You shook your head, disagreeing with him.

“I know you’re good at heart,” you chased him, hating the distance between the two of you. “I know you put others’ needs first,” you kept talking, as you approached him. “I know you’ve shown me more kindness, more humanity than any human in my life. And I care for you deeply, Ravn.”

He simply stared at you unable to move, his face was overwhelmed with emotion that felt so unfamiliar and yet so natural to him. For the first time since he became a vampire, Ravn felt terrified. Not for himself.

“You’re crazy,” he scoffed, hoping to avoid the necessity to face the reality. “Any sane person would run from me.”

“Maybe I’m insane, then,” you chuckled, not at all taking offence because of his harsh words.

“Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t,” Ravn once again amazed you with his Shakespeare knowledge.

And as easily as he had distanced himself from you, he was back to being his usual self. He grabbed you by surprise and started running. Vertically. Defying the laws of gravity, one second you were safely walking on the ground and the next, he was climbing a tree with your arms wrapped tightly around his back. If you hadn’t been too busy holding your breath, you would probably scream. Soon enough, the two of you were sitting on a very tall branch, surrounded by countless trees. Everything felt so surreal from such a viewpoint.

“You have to be kidding me,” you murmured as you took in the world around you. You hid your face in his chest, feeling a bit dizzy from the height.

“I won’t drop you, I promise,” Ravn giggled softly in your ear as you clutched his shirt tightly.

“I know you won’t,” you said. “But I might die from a heart attack if you keep doing this.”

“I’m sorry?” he offered but didn’t sound apologetic at all.

“Tis fine. I just…don’t know how to thank you for showing me your marvellous world.”

Ravn seemed genuinely surprised by your reaction. He felt like he should be the one thanking you.

“You not being afraid of me and granting me with the gift of spending your limited time with me is gratitude enough.”

“How about the gift of my delicious blood?” you joked, earning another gentle chuckle out of him.

“An added bonus,” Ravn smiled. “Tell me…what are you thinking right now?”

You were in fact wondering how he’d react if you kissed him. Would he push you from the tree in disgust? Would he kiss you back? He was so good at guarding his emotions that it was impossible for you to read him. You, on the other hand, felt like an open book, always telling him what you wished and him granting all your wishes. As if he was a genie and not a vampire…

“I was wondering the same thing. About your thoughts,” you admitted. A half-truth but a truth, nonetheless.

“What else?”

“Will you tell me if I tell you?” you bargained cleverly.

“I promise.”

“I was hoping I’d stop being so afraid.”

When you spotted a hint of hurt on his beautiful features, you quickly corrected yourself, hoping Ravn wouldn’t misunderstand.

“I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of losing you.”

When he heard you say that, Ravn could no longer restrain himself. He leaned in so that your foreheads bumped quietly against one another. He looked into your eyes, as if asking for permission. You had no idea what he was planning to do. You just stared at him in return, waiting, aching for the same thing. Ravn leaned in closer in an excruciatingly slow manner. When he finally kissed you, you felt like you had yearned for eternity. In his case, that wasn’t far from the truth. He gently caressed your cheek with his hand, while the other one was still supporting you from falling from that ridiculously tall tree. You were still clutching his shirt tightly, your fear of heights far stronger than any potential fear of vampires. Ravn was very careful when kissing you, a bit too cautious than you would have preferred, because he didn’t want his fangs to accidentally pierce your tongue. It would be quite unfortunate to allow such a misfortune to happen. You were so soft and fragile, so warm and helpless. Or so, he thought. When he pulled away from the kiss, your lips desperately chased his, eager for more. Once you’d gotten a taste of him, you could only imagine if this was how he felt about your blood, no wonder it was so difficult to control his urges.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ravn said determinedly, dissipating your previous worries. “I’ll stay by your side for as long as you want.”

“What were you thinking about?” you asked, remembering your conversation prior to the kiss.

“I was thinking about kissing you,” Ravn admitted openly.

“And then, you did,” you smiled, still giddy from the experience.

“I did,” he confirmed, laughing, the sound sending a gentle breeze of air in your direction.

“I was hoping you would,” you confessed shyly and squeezed his hand.

“You were?” Ravn was amazed.

“I was. And I’m glad you did.”

Ravn pulled you closer and stroked your hair carefully.

“I feel…so happy right now,” he told you.

“I feel…like I’m about to pass out,” you responded.

Ravn looked at you in concern and soon enough, he realized you were probably exaggerating the gravity of the situation.

“From the height?” he guessed.

“I think the kiss was largely responsible,” you joked.

Ravn’s anxious expression quickly turned into a relieved one.

“So I’m entirely to blame for your light-headedness?”

“Mhmm,” you feigned a frown. “You should take better care of your snack.”

“Tsk tsk,” Ravn shook his head. “My poor meal, disregarded so cruelly. What should I feed you, then? Hm?”

“I have a sudden craving for more kisses,” you smirked eagerly.

“I thought you said the kiss was responsible for your dizziness?” Ravn eyed you suspiciously, calling you out on your contradictions.

“Perhaps the poison is the antidote,” you said cleverly.

Ravn discovered he couldn’t argue with that logic and gave in to your wishes, kissing you once more.

🌙🌙🌙

Back on the ground, you asked Ravn if he could refrain from using his super speed on the way back to his castle. When he wanted to know why, you told him the truth. Sometimes you needed to be alone with your thoughts and for as long as you could remember, the forest had been your safe place. Nothing was going to change that. He responded that he understood your needs and was willing to show you the way back.

“You’re not mad at me, right?” you had to be certain he was okay with this and softly held his hand as the two of you walked at a normal (which for him, meant slow) pace.

“I’m never mad at you,” Ravn reassured you. “Just worried you’d be alone in the forest.”

“I can take care of myself,” you said proudly.

“Sure, you can,” he laughed sarcastically and squeezed your hand tightly as if to disprove you.

“In most circumstances,” you added and jumped up excitedly. Then, you playfully bit the corner of his ear.

“You’re incredible,” Ravn murmured in disbelief.

“Look who’s talking,” you complimented him in return.

“Just…promise me you’ll be careful, okay? And don’t go too far away. Please?”

You smiled, sincerely touched that he was so worried about your well-being.

“I promise. What could possibly happen? I get eaten by a wolf?” you joked absent-mindedly and you didn’t even notice Ravn became even paler than usual. He flinched as if you’d struck a nerve. When he didn’t say anything else, you finally realized something was wrong, because he was being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Ravn? Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head. “You won’t get eaten by anyone but me.”

Ravn decided that humour was the only solution.

“It would be my honour,” you bowed most dramatically.

“You shouldn’t be so willing,” Ravn reprimanded you. “If I weren’t such a gentleman, I might take advantage of you.”

“If you hadn’t bragged about it, I might have let you,” you swirled around smugly.

“I blew my shot, didn’t I?” he pouted woefully.

“I don’t know,” you further teased him. “I might reconsider.”

“I am sensing there’s a condition.”

“There always is.”

“You’re lucky you’re so unbelievably delicious I would do pretty much anything for you.”

“Ah, yes, my irresistible blood type. Keep telling yourself that’s the real reason you’re after me.”

Ravn was not amused by your incessant teasing so he forcefully pulled you towards him, as if to remind you who’s in charge.

“I didn’t know snacks were so talkative.”

You gulped nervously and blinked at him, feigning innocence.

“Shut me up, then,” you were really asking for it.

Ravn didn’t need to be asked twice.

To be continued…

#oneus #ravn #ravn x reader #twilight #oneus fanfic #kim youngjo #romance #fluff #vampire au #ravn fanfic #vampires #kim youngjo x reader #writing

38 notes · View notes

pxnk-velvet · 4 years ago

Text

The Dancing Warrior: Water, Chapter 12

(Sokka x OC)

The next morning she didn’t want to wake up. She felt like she couldn’t physically get out of bed. As everyone was getting ready for whatever they had planned, she sat on her sleeping mat with her legs crossed and hands tucked away as she hunched over.

Sokka had announced he was going for a walk with Princess Yue as he walked out the door. Aang squirmed excitingly, ready for his first official water bending practice with Katara. As for her, she noticed Navani sulking on the floor all morning, so she shooed Aang away, sending him off by himself.

“Hey.” Katara greeted softly, noticing the bowl of breakfast still sitting full next to Navani, “How are you this morning? You seem a little down.”

“Huh, oh...I’m fine.” Navani said, trying not to think about what had happened last night. The lump in her throat growing.

“Are you sure?” Katara pushed, kneeling down and sitting with her. Taking a hold of one of her hands while looking her directly in the eyes.

Navani’s bottom lip trembled, Katara’s eyes were identical to Sokka’s. Then finally Navani broke. Tears began to rush down her cheeks and her chest heaved. Katara took her shaking form in an embrace. Hugging her close.

“Do you want to talk about?” Katara asked, still holding on tight to her friend. Navani sniffed, shaking her head no.

“Well, I’m always here for you, ok? We can talk whenever you’re ready.” Katara vowed, pulling away and locking eyes again. Navani nodded, wiping her tears.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” She offered politely.

“No, I’ll be alright. You have your first official training today. I don’t want to get in the way of that. I understand how much you’ve wanted this.” Navani smiled, taking hold of Katara’s shoulders, “Go. I’ll go visit Appa in the stalls for a little while.”

Katara gave a warm, appreciative smile, “Thank you.” Soon after, she left hesitantly, looking over her shoulder before Navani sent her off.

===

A little while later, after Navani used every fiber in her being to get out of bed and get ready, she made it to the stalls to spend sometime with Appa.

Over the course of her time traveling with the Avatar, she had grown a liking towards the giant sky bison. Giving him occasional hugs and scratches and just praising him overall after a particularly long day of flying.

Navani whistled, alerting Appa. He turned excitingly, leaving his snack in his wake. He rushed over to her, scooping her up with his snout and tossing her in the air a little.

Navani giggled, hugging him, “Hey, buddy.”

Appa let out a happy groan, snuggling his nose deeper into her and licking her face, nearly knocking her to the floor.

“Appa!” She exclaimed with a laugh, wiping away the sky bison saliva on her face.

A little while after, the atmosphere shifted and Navani’s mood settled to what it had been before. It was like Appa could tell what she was thinking, what she was feeling. He let out a small groan after Navani sighed, as if asking what was wrong. She looked him in the eyes and decided to finally let it all out. It might not have been to someone who could actually give a reply but at least it was something.

Unbeknownst to Navani, Sokka and the Princess were approaching from behind.

“Appa and I go way back.” Sokka exclaimed, causing Navani’s heart to drop to her stomach, “Don’t we, boy?”

Appa quickly rushed past Navani, which nearly sent her sprawling, stomping over to Sokka. Appa stood over him, his paw on top of his legs so he couldn’t move and continuously licked him.

Both Navani and Princess Yue giggled. Navani awkwardly clearing her throat after and turning away.

===

As Navani padded away from the stalls, her feet dragged on the ice. The only person she could openly talk to without judgement had been taken from right under her nose.

She sighed deeply, pulling her big coat around her tight, hoping it would warm her up a little more. As much as she liked it there in the North Pole, she couldn’t handle the cold. She figured she could at least go back to the igloo and start a fire. Maybe that’ll make her feel better.

“Navani!” Someone called.

She perked up at the sound of her name, looking up to see Prince Hai walking towards her, waving with a smile.

Even though her feelings for him weren’t as strong as the ones she felt for Sokka, her heart melted a little at the sight of him.

“How are you holding up with everything?” He questioned, keeping a locked gaze on her eyes to be able to read her real emotions.

She sighed deeply, letting her head hang low. That indicated Prince Hai enough to know what she was feeling. He took her into a gentle embrace, squeezing her snug. They stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments until something changed. Not between them but in the atmosphere.

They both could tell something had shifted, like something bad was about to happen. And when they pulled apart from their embrace, they knew.

By the look of the gray soot and snow falling from the sky, everything was off. For a second Navani didn’t think anything of it because growing up she would see ashes blowing in the wind on occasion. But there was something different about it this time.

“Something isn’t right.” She murmured to the Prince.

He nodded, taking action upon himself. They, among many other people, were running towards the palace.

They both raced up the palace steps side by side. Navani slowing a little when she caught sight of Sokka. He was standing there, watching Princess Yue take off into the building. Despite the war of feelings she was currently dealing with, she continued up the steps, grabbing Sokka’s hand and bringing him along.

For a moment he hesitated, “Navani?!”

She turned back to him, looking him directly in the eyes, “Come on.”

They stood like that for a moment, he could tell exactly what she was thinking all because it was like her eyes were telling a story.

Navani knew now was not the time for feelings and wouldn’t let them get in the way. Right now it was time to focus of the greater good of the Northern Water Tribe and its people.

He nodded and allowed the girl to lead him up the palace steps and into the large building. When they stepped through the threshold of the main hall, Katara had called their names, gesturing for them to sit with her and Aang on the side lines.

They both took a seat side by side, waiting in anticipation as more people filed into the palace. Soon after Chief Arnook began speaking.

At first Navani really hadn’t been paying attention, mostly just stealing glances at Sokka who was slouching next to her. She was wondering what had him in such a mood.

“As we approach the battle for our existence, I call upon the great spirits.” The Chief called out, “Spirit of the ocean! Spirit of the moon! Be with us!”

Navani glanced up, seeing Prince Hai seated next to Princess Yue. Both of them baring somber looks.

“I’m going to need volunteers for a dangerous mission!” Arnook announced.

Not even a moment later Sokka shot up from his seat, “Count me in!”

Navani gasped, both her and Katara muttering, “Sokka!”

Then an idea hit her and she sprung up from her seat as well. She was a trained warrior after all. It would be rude if she didn’t offer her services. Sokka turned to her, stunned. But then it also hit him and his expression settled.

“Be warned,” Arnook said gravely, “Many of you will not return. Come forward to receive my mark, if you accept the task.”

Navani took Sokka’s hand, despite her heart beating like crazy, and gave it a gentle squeeze. He turned and looked at her, nodding, leading them to the Chief.

They both stood in line patiently as the other men received their marks.

When Navani stepped up to receive her mark, her head bowed and eyes closed, nothing happened and all that could be heard was silence.

“Young lady, what do you think you’re doing?” Arnook questioned with an un pleased look on his face.

“I’d like to join your mission and offer my services as a highly trained warrior.” She stood straight and tall, tucking her hands behind her back to give off the appearance of authority.

The Chief gave no answer and waved her off, to which she scoffed stubbornly.

“Chief Arnook,” Sokka spoke up from his spot behind her, “You have to let her come along. She truly is a warrior, not only is she exceptionally skilled in combat and bending, she is highly knowledgeable in war studies.”

“It’s true, father.” Prince Hai joined in, “Please accept her services. I know you won’t regret it.”

She smiled, glancing back and forth between Sokka and Hai. Grateful for their vouching.

The Chief sighed, “Do not take my decision for granted young lady. I will be expecting a lot from you.”

Navani bowed her head, “Yes, Chief Arnook. I won’t let you down.”

He traced three line on her forehead, stepping of to the side when he finished. Sokka soon after received his mark and followed Navani, but not without look back over his shoulder. Stealing a glance at Princess Yue, to which she returned, eyes welling with tears.

===

Now, everyone stood at the entrance wall, waiting in silence for something to happen. The whole group stood guard right at the center of the wall, each of them baring stern looks on their faces.

Their eyebrows knotted together and their lips in thin lines, all of them giving identical expressions. But that soon change when the silence was interrupted when a speck of bright light appeared in the distance.

As it flew closer, everyone realized it was a giant fireball heading right towards them.

Navani went to deflect it, even thought it was ten times her size, when Sokka held her back. The agreement of her keeping her fire bending a secret had completely slipped from her mind.

The fire ball made impact with the ice wall, sending everyone in its wake flying through the air. Starting a frenzy of people screaming and running is all directions as more fire balls were launched at them.

Navani landed roughly in the ice and snow. She groaned as her body ached but ignored it completely, struggling to stand again. Sokka spotted her near by and rushed to her aid, helping her gain balance again.

Once they both found a grounding, they called for Katara, only to watch as she saved herself with her water bending. Throwing the snow that was on top of her to the side like it was nothing.

The three continued to help people out of the snow as Aang flew through the sky to take down some of the Fire Navy ships. Navani watched as more fire balls soared through the air, feeling helpless. She could’ve easily stopped a few with her fire bending.

A little while later the warriors had been called by the Chief to group and discuss the mission plans.

Chief Arnook stood at the front of the room while the rest of the men, and Navani, stood in rows. Sokka and Navani side by side.

The Chief had been explaining his plan, saying how they were going to infiltrate the Navy and need to wear a uniform.

When one of the warriors walked in, dressed in a uniform that was so outdated, Sokka and her couldn’t help but burst out in a fit of giggles.

“What your problem?” The guy, boy more rather, asked defensively.

“The uniforms don’t look like that anymore.” Navani pointed out.

“Of course they do!” Navani rolled her eyes, “These are real uniforms taken from actual Fire Navy soldiers.”

“When? Like a hundred years ago?” Sokka continued.

“85 actually.” Arnook clarified.

Sokka and Navani glanced at each other before stepping up to the front of the room.

“The Fire Nation doesn’t wear shoulder spikes anymore. Now they’re more sleek and streamlined. They allow for more easy and unrestricted movement. I should know because I used to-Ow!“ Navani corrected, only to have Sokka elbow her for rambling.

“Because we’ve dealt with them up close.” Sokka saved them, gently nudging Navani behind him, taking the lead. She crossed her arms and huffed, even though she knew what he was doing was protecting them.

The boy rolled his eyes, “How do we know we can trust these two? Such bold talk for new recruits. Especially for you being a girl.” He barked at Navani. The tension in the air growing thick. She snarled back at him, only to have Sokka hold her back.

“Sokka and Navani are from our sister tribe, Hahn. They are both capable warriors, Navani more than capable so I’ve heard, and I value their input.” The Chief defended, Navani and Sokka giving Hahn smug looks.

“Now, our first objective is to determine the identity of the commanding officer.” Arnook spoke out to the other men.

“His name is Zhao.” Sokka spoke up, as Navani moved from behind him to stand by his side.

“Middle aged.”

“Big side burns.”

“Bigger temper.”

“I want the two of you to tell everything you know to Hahn. He’s leading this mission.” Arnook requested as Navani scoffed, rolling her eyes, thinking about how she could do so much better than this little prick.

“I expect nothing less from my future son-in-law.”

Sokka’s jaw dropped to the floor and Navani nearly choked on air. So this is the guy Yue is engaged to that Hai told her about. Navani felt bad for the Princess for once. But that meant whatever Sokka and Yue had really couldn’t go anywhere...

“Princess Yue is marrying you?” Sokka questioned in bewilderment.

“Yeah. What of it?” Hahn shot back.

Only for Navani to whisper, “Poor Yue.”

“Nothing.” Sokka said, both of them turning away, “Congradulations.”

===

The stone wheels whined as the metal from the axes were pressed against them, the blades sharpening to crisp points. Navani pressed her foot on the petal, sending the wheel spinning against the axe she was using. Sparks flew from the sides as she studied what she was doing, trying to drain out the conversation that was going on around her. Hahn’s babbling was getting annoying and she would do anything at this point to get him to shut up. He had repeatedly tried flirting with her but she just ignored him, focusing on sharpening the axe in her hands. Which she had been very tempted to use against him. Sokka hadn’t been too pleased either, watching and listening to his friend being bombarded wth horrible pickup lines and awful attempts at flirting, trying to charm her.

Now Hahn had been talking out loud to both Navani and Sokka, who was working at the wheel to Hahn’s left, separating the two friends. The whole time they had been shooting each other tired glances as the boy in the middle kept chattering on as neither of them really listened. But what he said next definitely caught both of their attention.

“Let me tell you guys, I’ve courted a lot of girls but Yue is the finest. And she comes with the most perks!”

Navani gasped and turned towards him with bared teeth, like an animal. She would not stand for a prick like him talking in such a manner about any female.

“Perks?!” Both Navani and Sokka exclaimed.

Sokka continued, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Yue is nice and everything,” Hahn said smugly with a disgusting smile on his face. Navani wanted so badly to just set the seat of his pants on fire....but sadly she couldn’t. “But the points I’ll gain with the Chief aren’t bad either. And if it weren’t for my current situation, I’d gladly have you as my bride.” He said turning towards Navani.

She was all but fuming at this point. Both her and Sokka.

“Navani would never marry a self-absorbed weasel! And to think that the Princess is being wasted on you!” Sokka defended, pressing his axe down a little too hard.

“Hey! Hang on, why do you care? You’re just a simple guy from the Southern Water Tribe. What would you know about the political complexities of our life?....no offense.” Hahn teased, only to be tackled by Sokka.

Navani yelped as she was brought down by the both of them, getting tagled in between their little quarrel. She kicked and squirmed, attempting to break free, as she hair was getting pulled and she took a couple blows to the chest and torso. The three rolled across the floor in their mess of a fight, continuing to argue.

Only to be pulled apart by Arnook, “That’s enough!” He pulled both boys up from off the floor, leaving Navani sat on her back side. She moved to get up when Sokka offered her a hand, which she gladly took.

“Sokka, Navani, you’re both off the mission.” Arnook announced causing the pair to deflate.

Navani huffed, frustrated, crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest. If looks could kill, Hahn would be a dead man. The group of warriors followed Hahn’s instruction and filed out of the room, leaving Sokka and Navani by themselves.

She took a seat against a wall, sighing as she pulled her knees close, resting her arms on them. Sokka doing the same, sitting right beside her, spreading his legs out in front of him. He turned towards the sulking girl, starring at her as she spaced out.

“I’m sorry.” Sokka apologized quietly.

“Huh?” Navani perked, turning towards him, “Sorry for what?”

“For getting you kicked off the mission. It was completely my fault.” Sokka explained, looking her in the eyes.

“No it’s not Sokka. You can’t put the blame all on yourself. We were both involved.” She spoke slow, struggling to keep her wording under his gaze.

There were the feelings again, Navani thought. Her heart fluttered in her chest as their gaze locked. Maybe now wasn’t such a bad time to speak up....they weren’t in the middle of some serious battle discusion....plus its not like he could date Yue anyways....

Navani cursed herself for thinking such a thing. Ruining other peoples happiness just for her own? Who is she? What was she thinking?

But....it really couldn’t hurt to try, right?....

“It looks like something is on your mind.” Sokka finally spoke up. Now there was no way of getting out of this.

Navani let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, “Um, yeah. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something...and I guess it’s kind of important but what I’m trying to say is-“

“Is something wrong, you two?” Chief Arnook interrupted. The pair looked up at him from their spots on the floor.

“Oh no,” Navani spoke, sarcasm practically dripping off her tongue, “Everyone else is off on this top secret mission while we’re here sitting on the floor like two children.”

“You two have to understand. I took you off the mission for selfish reasons.” Arnook explained. But Navani wasn’t buying it, it was probably because she was a girl and he only accepted her in front of the crowd to make himself look good in front of his people, “I have a special task in mind for you.”

“What?” Sokka spoke, “You want me to scrub the barracks?”

“Want me to look after the tribes children?” Navani spoke, her voice almost as sharp as the axe she was sharpening earlier.

“I want the two of you to guard my children. Princess Yue and Prince Hai.”

“Huh?” Navani stood in pure shock, not expecting that for answer at all.

“Um, sure.” Sokka accepted, “We can do that. Right, Navani?”

Navani stood baffled, only nodding her head in compliance.

===

She couldn’t do it. Seeing them both at the same time would drive her insane. She was sure of it. It’s going to be too distracting for her. How is she supposed to focus like this? Some trained warrior she was, huh?

She hadn’t said a word to Sokka since her first attempt at confession. She was rigid and her spin was stiff as she walked by his side. Her palms were getting clammy and jaw tight. There really isn’t a way out of this.

“Hey, Navani.” Sokka called, grabbing her full attention.

She turned towards him, “Yes, Sokka?”

“What were you trying to say before Chief Arnook interrupted?”

Darn it.

She swallowed, rubbing her clammy hands on her coat, “Um...y-you see....”

It was now or never. A mental tug-a-war going on in her mind as they walked.

Then she thought about what Hai had said. To listen to her heart, as childish as it sounds.

She took a deep breath, stopping in her tracks and turning towards him, “Sokka, I really miss what we had before.” She let out, trying with all her might to keep her voice steady.

He looked down into her eyes, listening intently.

“I know we both have some what of an understanding of our feelings towards each other. And I just can’t keep pretending I don’t like you anymore after our fight. I tried. I really did. You know how stubborn we both are. But I just like you too much...” She broke their locked gaze, peering down at the floor, kicking it with the toe of her boot.

He gently took hold of her face, “Navani...”

“And I understand and respect whatever you have going on with Princess Yue and will support every decision you make,” She sighed, pausing a momen, “I just needed to end my suffering and let you know.”

At this point her voice was wobbling and she was teary eyed. When she opened them to catch his gaze again, he was baring a warm smile.

“Im glad you did because I miss what we had too.” He murmured just loud enough for them to hear.

They slowly leaned into each other, closing the space between them. His arms had settled on her waist while her hands were pressed to his chest. Their lips not even an moment apart when they were suddenly interrupted.

“Sokka! Navani! Katara and Aang need help! Some fire bender with a scar on his face is trying to hurt them.” Princess Yue called out, sprinting towards them. Prince Hai just a few paces behind.

The pair jumped away from each other, separating, turning to one another, “Zuko.”

“Come on. Quick! We need to hurry.” Hai pressed as he and Yue turned back in the direction they came. Navani and Sokka followed, sprinting right behind them, letting the twins lead the way.

[][][]

Taglist!

@harmlessoffering

@ilovespideyyy

@eat-a-brick714

@none-of-ur-frackin-business

@smolbitch2006

@the-natureofme

@kaylove12

@missmorosis

@shellyseashell

18 notes · View notes

screamingatanemptyroom · 5 years ago

Text

I Refuse to be a Named Character pt 3

Here is part 3 everyone!

Part 1 and 2 linked here!

Enjoy!

_____________________________

Luke and I walked away from the group, a heavy silence hanging between us. He snuck glances frequently in my direction, a nervous light in his eyes that I had never seen before. His hands twisted together in front of him, his knuckles white from the pressure. The sight caused a flicker of regret in my heart, a desire to say something to comfort him, but I stayed silent.

The issue hanging over us was too large to simply ignore.

Finally, far enough away from Graham and his followers to not be overheard, we stopped. As my gaze met his own, Luke took a deep breath, apologizing in a rush:

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you who I was before!”

“…” I stared at him, wanting to sigh, a twisted smile on my face.

“Is that why you think I’m upset? Because you didn’t tell me you were a prince?”

Uncertainty crept into his expression. “It’s not?”

“No.” I shook my head. “With all that we shared, we both held some secrets back. Those were yours to keep. I didn’t ask, and you didn’t lie to me.”

I had known deep down that he couldn’t be as simple as he seemed, but a part of me had hoped that he was. That he could be a regular person, untouched by the terrible plot of this world, someone who could run away with me to the forest and ignore the whole mess.

But like he had said before we parted, Fate isn’t very kind sometimes.

“I’m not mad that you’re a prince. I’m mad because of this.” I held up my wrist, the dark beads encircling it reflecting in the bright desert sun.

His eyes focused on the bracelet, and he stiffened.

“Your mother’s token?” I asked quietly. “A necessary item for you to take the throne? A sign of engagement?”

Hadn’t Graham called me Lucien’s fiancé? He had obviously recognized the bracelet back in my cabin. No wonder he had been so adamant about becoming close with me. He was trying to bring his brother’s fiancé over to his side.

“…” A helpless expression traced over Luke’s features, the sadness and loneliness I saw there threatening to break my heart.

I steeled myself, forcing my tone to be harsh. “When were you going to tell me we were engaged? After the wedding?”

He laughed, but it was a desolate, hopeless sound. “Would you believe me if I told you it was the only thing I had, and I was simply afraid that you would forget me?”

“I might.” I studied him quietly for a moment.

“I always planned to come back to see you before the third task.” He stared down at his shaking hands as he spoke. “I was going to tell you everything then: who I was, what the bracelet meant… and then ask if you still wanted it.” He sighed. “I thought you would be far enough away in the forest, that no one would see you before I found you again… I never thought that Graham…” Luke trailed off, shaking his head slowly. “I’m sorry.”

I wanted to believe him. After all, he was very special to me. I was not someone who opened up to others easily. Chloe had been my only friend before we transported here. I had no experience with romance or love.

Luke… someone who spent every day by my side, sharing meals, opening up about our hopes and dreams… how could I not fall for him? I had recognized the feeling after he helped me to escape. I thought out of everyone I had ever known, he was the first to truly understand me. To care about me.

But now I couldn’t help but doubt everything.

“Luke, can you look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you gave me that bracelet with no other intentions than that? To help me remember you?”

His eyes looked up at mine, and then moved away restlessly, unable to hold in one place for too long. “What do you mean?”

“Do you remember? The one thing I wanted more than anything else?”

His head bent down, as if it were too heavy to hold up any longer. “You wished to live in obscurity, away from the plots and schemes of others.” It was a whisper, filled with dread.

“Did you give me the bracelet, an easily recognizable sign of Prince Lucien’s favor… hoping that it would mark me? That it would tie me, who wanted nothing to do with the plot of the succession of the throne… to you, who can’t escape it? Did you harbor any thoughts that it might keep me from successfully hiding away, bringing me to live in the same world that you are forced to stay in?”

I watched him carefully as I spoke, praying he would speak up and say I was wrong. That he would laugh easily, telling me I was paranoid. That the bracelet meant nothing more than a small gift to remember him by, always meant to be retrieved before the final task.

That he had never hoped that it would be recognized. That I would have to give up my dream of avoiding the plot and living a peaceful life.

Please, please say that I’m wrong! My hands were clenched so tightly that my fingers were numb, my palm bleeding as the skin tore under the edge of my nails.

Luke looked up, and my heart ached at the familiar look in his eyes. Bitterness. Self-loathing. Loneliness.

“I can’t say that I never thought that.” He sighed, a painful sound. “I can’t say I never hoped deep down that you would change your mind and rejoin this world to face it with me. But I was also telling the truth. I didn’t think you would be found in the forest. I did plan to tell you the truth and let you choose for yourself.”

“But instead you took away my only chance to control my fate completely.” I laughed, but it was painful, so painful I could hardly breathe.

The perfect image he had left in my memories, a simple childish first love, crumbled away. I still cared for him, more than i wanted to, but it was tarnished by reality, closer to the truth than the ideal i had held in my heart for so long.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t shirk away from the blame in my eyes, facing it head on with a bitter smile.

“Me too.”

I reached out to grasp his hand, both of us flinching at the contact. Even now, with the anger and hurt I felt towards him, just touching his hand was enough to cause my heart to race.

I gently placed the bracelet he had given me in his palm, closing his fingers around it before dropping my hand.

“Take this back.”

“No… I…” He started to refuse, but I cut him off.

“I can’t accept this right now. At least not with all the many meanings attached to it. “ We had spent less than a year by each other’s side. I cared about him, but I wasn’t ready to accept such a heavy promise.

“…” His hand tightened silently over the bracelet.

“After I fulfill my promise to my sister and help Graham get a Tarif, I’m going back to the forest. I’m not going to join this fight. I’m going back to living apart from all this. “

I took a deep breath after I spoke, watching his reaction. I thought he might argue. Try to convince me otherwise. Or at least look disappointed.

I did not expect him to smile.

“That’s good!” He looked genuinely happy. “Get away from all this. Live a happy life.”

“You…”

He shrugged at my shocked expression. “I know it doesn’t make sense. On one hand, I’m selfish, and I want to keep my only friend, the woman I care about, by my side. But on the other…” He reached out, squeezing my hand in his own. “I want you to be safe. And happy.”

“…” I studied him closely. He didn’t appear to be lying, openly admitting the conflicting motivations within himself. A small warmth rose within me, surprising me. This was Lucien? The murdering villain of Deadly Crown? I had suspected his motivations once I realized he was the villain, but now… I was more confused than ever.

“Luke...”

“LUCIEN!” Graham walked up, interrupting us, looking annoyed. He turned to me, hesitating over what to call me “…Lucien’s fiancé. We need to move. The task requires that we reach one of the bandit camps before nightfall.”

“…” Luke looked over at me with an amused grin. “You still don’t have a name yet?”

I shrugged. “Not important enough for one.”

His laughter rang out, and I couldn’t help but smile at the pleasant sound.

Graham face darkened even further. “Come one, we have to go.”

He reached out to grab my hand, pausing when he realized there was no longer a bracelet on it. His eyes lit up at the sight. Luke, on the other hand, frowned at his half brother uncomfortably.

“Your Highness!” A voice rang out behind us before anyone could speak further. A young man wearing armor rode up, his face concerned. “You rode ahead of me, I couldn’t keep up! What happened?”

Luke sighed quietly. “It’s fine, Eric. Just needed to take care of a few things.” He didn’t look up at the newcomer even as he answered him, continuing to stare at me with an intense expression.

“Something on my face?” I grinned.

“I missed you.”

His simple answer threw me, and I found myself struggling to reply.

“Let’s go.” I turned to rejoin Graham’s group. It’s better to just avoid talking further for now. At least until I sort out my feelings.

“Are you and my brother fighting?” Graham was smiling as he walked beside me, making me want to punch him in the face.

“It’s not your concern.”

“Of course it is!” He feigned innocence. “Lucien’s my brother, and you’re…”

“I’m no one.”

“You’re important.” He brushed past my annoyed words, finishing his sentence while studying me closely. I disliked the sensation. He was always staring at my eyes, looking for something unknown. Whatever it was he never seemed to find it, again he turned away with a disappointed shrug.

_____________________________

We all rode together into the desert. I kept myself to the middle of the group, away from Graham and his closer lackeys in the front, but also apart from Luke and his servant in the back. Part of me wanted to draw back, spend time talking with him. I wanted to know how he had been in the years apart, what difficulties he faced… but I had a sneaking suspicion that the more time I spent by his side, the harder it would be to separate myself from the plot.

Plot equals death wish. I repeated in my head over and over, hoping to regain the certainty I had not that long ago.

“What happened?!” An irritated whisper broke through my troubled thoughts. Distracted, I looked up to see Chloe glaring at me.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how on earth did you end up engaged to Lucien?” She sneered, a hand grabbing my arm to slow me to her pace. “You were so sincere, begging me to hide your name and avoid the plot, I actually bought it. And all along you were sneaking around, hooking up with the main villain.”

I let out a frustrated breath, pushing my hair out of my eyes. “It’s a misunderstanding.”

“Really? Then can you explain why he’s acting so differently?”

I felt lost. “Differently?”

“Don’t pretend!” She laughed softly, her hand tightening its grip on me. “You saw him as well as me, sparing Corran’s life. What’s going on?”

“How should I know? Why don’t you go ask him yourself?”

Her face turned pale. “You don’t understand. If you change too many things, I’ll lose my advantage. Graham thinks I can see the future, but it’s only as long as the plot stays the same that I can take advantage of that.”

“And how is that my problem?” I shook my head. “If you’re so concerned, then just tell Graham the truth?”

“Don’t be an idiot! Or I’ll leave you behind!”

I grabbed her hand, throwing it off of me, laughing at her threat.

She was shocked, a look that frustrated me to know end. Every time we spoke she fell into the same patterns as our old world. Bullying, grabbing, ordering me around. I had always given into her in the past, accepting being in the wrong even when I knew I wasn’t. But now, in this different place, I had changed, gained the confidence to stand without her. I no longer had to sit there quietly and let her push me around.

So why did she continue to act like nothing had changed?

“Chloe, we’re sisters, which is the only reason I’m helping you this time. But don’t think that we’re the same as we used to be. You left me behind, and I never looked for you. You begged me to come with you. So don’t pretend that I’m the one who needs you.”

“…” She had no answer.

I slowed my horse down, falling to the back of the group, no longer wanting to talk to her.

Finally, I reached Luke’s side once again. He smiled at me in welcome, and I felt myself relax, not realizing how stressed I had felt simply talking to Chloe.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

His quiet offer brought my Chloe’s ranting to mind. “Why did you offer to spare Corran?”

Luke blinked, as if thrown by my sudden question. “There was no reason to kill him.”

So simple an answer, but he killed plenty of people in the book without cause, didn’t he? “Is that really the only reason?”

At my direct stare he fidgeted, seeming slightly embarrassed. “You told me once it wasn’t too late for my soul, and not to sacrifice it along the way.” He spoke in a whisper, but I was startled by his words all the same.

Had the plot changed? The big villain Lucien, who murders everyone who stands in his way, never would have worried about his soul, or sparing someone’s life. He should have been on a killing spree since taking revenge on the Ninth Lord... I paused at that thought.

“What about the Ninth Lord’s Household? What did you do to them?” I asked, my voice sharper than I meant it to be.

He grinned. “Everyone responsible was put in jail on evidence I collected of their crimes.”

“You didn’t kill them?”

“It didn’t seem as important. Besides…” His smile became self-deprecating. “That’s where I met you. I didn’t want to taint that memory by painting it with blood.”

I rubbed my head, a pounding headache forming. I’ve totally derailed the plot, haven’t I? Just as I opened my mouth to ask another question, however, we were interrupted.

“What are you two talking about?”

I looked over at Graham, who had held back to ride beside me, and sighed. Would it kill him not to show up every single time I’m trying to talk to Luke?

“The best way to murder you and let Lucien take the throne.” I answered finally with a serious expression.

Luke grinned and nodded along. “Yep.”

“You’re joking.”

“Who knows?” I shrugged, enjoying his annoyed expression. “What brings you to the back of the group?”

Graham glared at me for a few moments, and then turned to Luke. “We’re getting close to the branch point. My group is heading for the Serpent Camp. What about you, brother?”

Luke paused at that. “Well, I had initially planned to go to that one as well. But I think that I might head for Scorpion Camp instead.”

“Really? I heard you had connections at Serpent Camp?”

At Graham’s doubtful question, Luke glanced over and winked at me. “I suddenly don’t feel like fighting with your group… at least right now. Scorpion Camp will suit me just fine.”

I watched them discuss their plans, struggling to remember the plot of the book. There should be three bandit camps: Serpent, Scorpion and Spider. Spider Camp already had an allegiance with one of the princes, the youngest of named Fetter. In the book, Lucien had reportedly slaughtered everyone in the Serpent Camp, including one of the princes, forcing Graham and his team to compete with Corran for the Tarif of Scorpion Camp.

But now Corran was already dead, and Fetter already had a Tarif. Which left four princes to compete for the final two. And if Luke was going to Scorpion Camp…

I reached out, grabbing Luke’s hand, startling us both. “They use poisons. Are you prepared to deal with that?”

Luke smiled, a teasing light in his eyes. “Are you worried about me?”

I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

“…” At my straightforward answer, he seemed caught off guard. His cheeks flushing with a faint red stain, he shook his head, looking away. “I’m prepared.”

“Are you sure…”

“He’ll be fine.” Graham pushed his horse in between Luke’s and my own, forcing us apart. “We should part ways now then, brother, so as to not slow you down.”

“Very well.” Despite his half-brother provocative stare, Luke seemed very calm.

I stared at him, and glanced over at his servant who had a confused expression on.

What had Luke called him? Eric? Why does that name seem so familiar?

If he had a name in the story, that likely meant that he was set for a painful end. I felt a growing sense of unease. “Are you planning on just having one person watch your back?” I should go with him.

“You promised Chloe you would help us!” Graham spoke up, his eyes cold.

“You said you needed me to track. There’s an obvious path here. You don’t need my skills at all.”

Even as I pointed out his lies he stayed calm. “You can also fight.”

“You have plenty…”

“Wait.” Luke interrupted. “Don’t worry about me. I want you to keep your promise with your sister.”

“Luke…”

“A smaller group works better for the Scorpion Camp. I’ll be fine. “ He smiled, trying to reassure me, but I could only frown in response.”

“But…” I trailed off as he moved around Graham, reaching out to hug me. It was an awkward motion, as we were both still sitting on different horses, but before I could move he leaned closer and whispered “It’s okay. I’ll find you again.”

With that, he turned and rode away. I stared after him a while, ignoring Graham’s increasingly furious expression.

“Let’s go.” He reached out to grab my hand, but I pulled away, riding ahead.

_____________________________

As we neared the Serpent Camp, I watched Chloe and Graham discuss strategy in quiet voices.

“The Serpent Camp leader values personal strength and skill above all else.”

Graham nodded. “Can you see anything now that we’re closer regarding what her requirement will be to obtain the Tarif?”

“Not really.” Chloe flashed an embarrassed smile. “My powers aren’t showing me very many details.”

Is she pretending to be psychic and using knowledge of the book? I watched her struggle to come up with useful information, interested. She had read the book over and over, and knew a lot more details than me regarding the world.

“The leader is an older woman, apparently.”

Graham raised an eyebrow at that. “Really? How would she keep control of a bandit gang?”

“I’m not sure, she must be very powerful.”

A very powerful older woman? A familiar face flashed through my mind, but I shook my head, chuckling. There’s no way that there would be such a coincidence…

“I leave you alone for a year, and you’ve already failed at being a nobody, foolish girl.” A familiar sarcastic voice called out, freezing me into place.

You’ve got to be kidding me. I looked up into a familiar face and sighed.

“Hello, Blade.”

_____________________________

Our group was brought into the bandit camp. We walked past multiple well-fortinfied structures, moving to the center where a large blood stained fighting ring stood. There were benches to spectate along the side, a primitive arena. The area was impressive, only marred by a large stack of bloody rags sat off to the side. As we were brought to stand before the ring, Graham and Chloe stared at me in shock.

“How do you know the Serpent Camp Leader?” Graham finally spoke up, watching me suspiciously.

I didn’t see any reason to hide it. “She trained me.”

“Why?”

“Good question.” I muttered, walking up to Blade, who glared at me.

“I thought you were going to stay in the forest?”

“That was the plan.”

“Why are you here is these lowlifes?” She gestured towards Graham and the others.

I shrugged. “My sister is part of his group. She begged me. I found it hard to say no.”

“Do you know why I trained you, girl?” Her gaze traveled down to my empty wrist, her brows knitting together.

“Luke asked you to, and you were a friend of his mother?”

“I was her friend, and so I gave her son one favor.” She held up a single finger. “Only one. He was supposed to use it to ask for this Tarif. Instead, he asked me to train you to survive on your own.”

I looked down at her hand, which clutched an amulet made from bone with intricate carvings. The objective of the second task.

He used up his favor on me?

No wonder in the book Lucien obtained the Tarif from Serpent Camp so easily. He still could have come here. With his relationship with Blade, even without the favor he’d be at an advantage. Instead he went to Scorpion Camp to face the dangers there?

“Fool.” I whispered to myself. Blade patted my shoulder, walking away to face the group.

“Well, let’s get to the test.” She crossed her arms, smiling down at us. There was a undeniable pressure from her, a sense of barely contained violence and naked threat. Even having lived with her for more than a year, I shrank back from it. A large group of men stood behind her, brandishes weapons and leering.

Graham stepped forward, his face calm, albeit a bit pale. “I am Prince Graham.”

“…” Blade raised an eyebrow. “I don’t care? Your half brother was a prince too, didn’t seem to do him much good.” She pointed to a pile off to the side of the arena, and with a sinking stomach I realized what I had thought was just bloody rags on a casual glance were actually stacked bodies. Shuddering, I turned away.

Every time I forget how bloody the plot of this book is, the world keeps reminding me. I realized that I didn’t even know that prince’s name, although it was probably mentioned in the book. Even without Lucien killing him like in the plot he had still died quickly.

“What do you want us to do?” Graham asked, turning silently away from the body of his half-brother without concern.

“One of your people can fight one of my men. If you win, I give you the Tarif. If you lose…” She grinned viciously. “No one leaves here alive.”

Graham looked at the group, one by one, as if measuring our worth. His gaze paused on me for a long time, and I stared back, curious. He had only seen me fight with a bow. He wouldn’t risk betting everyone’s lives on me.

Feeling relaxed, I watched him come to a decision… “Beth… I can only count on you.”

The swordswoman tensed up, nodding before flashing Graham an infatuated grin. “Okay, I’ll win for you.”

Another one who thinks Graham cares for her. I shook my head sadly.

At least I don’t have to fight…avoiding being part of the plot! Hooray!

“Why aren’t you sending out your strongest fighter?” Blade asked with a smile.

My heart sank. WHY? My previous internal cheering turned to bitter sobs.

“What do you…?” Graham followed her gaze to look at me. “Her?”

“She’s much stronger than the one you picked. Probably the only one with a chance to win against my men.”

“…” Graham watched me with a curious gaze, and then waved his hand. “Very well.”

“No.” I crossed my arms. “Why should I?”

“You’re part of our team!”

I rolled my eyes. “I agreed to be a tracker. I never promised to join a fight to the death. Use someone who cares whether you win or not.”

“Girl.” Blade spoke up, interrupting Graham as he started to argue further. “See who your opponent is before saying too much.” She smiled. “I originally picked him out for Luke, but you’ll enjoy it too.”

A man had stepped forward into the ring, looking slightly confused at Blade’s words. His eyes met mine, and we both sucked in a breath.

“YOU!” He pointed at me with a frown.

“Bale?” I glared back at him. The man who had been in charge of the slaves in the Ninth Lord’s Household. Who had targeted Luke over and over again. Beating him, humiliating him…

I found myself smiling as I drew my sword and walked into the ring.

“How did you escape?” He circled around me.

“I could ask you the same question.” Didn’t Luke say that everyone had been arrested?

“He bribed a guard, ran to the Northern Desert.” Blade laughed. “Luckily right into my crew.”

“Did that bastard let you out?” Bale sneered, ignoring the older woman’s words. “Is that little weakling dead yet?”

“…” I followed his movements with my eyes, my sword ready.

“If he is still alive, I’ll make sure to send him your head.” Bale grinned. “Wouldn’t that be a lovely reunion?”

“Funny,” I laughed. “I was thinking the same thing.”

With a scream of rage Bale charged in, sword raised. I sidestepped his charge, flipping my blade and striking his knee with the back of it. His leg collapsed under him, and his face hit the bloody dirt.

“Try harder.” I sneered, meaning it. I had a lot of rage built up from his torture of Luke and I during our time in that household. I meant to make this fight last.

And it did.

He charged over and over. At first, I contented myself with striking him bluntly, weakening his joints, bruising him in painful areas. As that grew old I started using the blade itself, soaking the ground with his blood.

Eventually his anger burned out, replaced by fear. He no longer ran towards me, retreating to the edge of the fighting ring. I smiled at him, moving closer at a leisurely pace.

“Weren’t you going to take my head?”

“…” He shook with fear, his face pale from terror and blood loss.

“The funny thing is, he probably would have forgiven you.” My smile widened, as I moved closer. “He’s trying his best to be a good person. Now, out of the two of us… I think I might be more of a villain.”

“Please… ” He started to beg, but seeing no sign of forgiveness in my eyes, suddenly launched himself towards me, blade raised.

“DIE YOU BITCH!”

“You shouldn’t have hurt him.” I swung the sword, and he fell to the ground in pieces.

“…” Silence reigned over the area. I stared down at the body, feeling faint. How much had I changed from a girl who couldn’t even read descriptions of violence in books, to someone who could kill another person? I thought of the terrible things he had done, of the times he had hurt Luke, nearly killing him on multiple occasions… and found I couldn’t bring myself to feel too sorry about it.

Clap. Clap.

Blade walked forward, a grim smile on her face. “Good to see you haven’t forgotten what I’ve taught you.”

I forced a grin, still feeling slightly sick. “Couldn’t forget it even if I wanted to.”

“Then make sure you protect that foolish boy of yours.” She clapped my shoulder, handing me the Tarif. “He’s too much like his mother sometimes. Better to have someone tough by his side.”

“…” She’s worried about Lucien? The strongest villain in Deadly Crown?

Then again, maybe she had a point… I was worried too.

“I will.”

“Oh, and little prince?” Blade looked over at Graham. “I realize the girl will give you the Tarif so you can compete for your pretty little crown, but just know that she’s the one who earned it. The Tarif is a sign of loyalty. You will not be able to use it to command me or my men.” She patted my head. “Only she can.”

Graham didn’t seem angry at the warning. If anything, he seemed… amused. “Noted.” He caught the Tarif as I tossed it to him, and studied it closely. “Well there we go… task two done!”

As he spoke, I noticed one of the young women behind him, a quiet girl named Arrisa, pull a blade from under her cloak. Her face was expressionless as she moved towards the prince, her hand rising to strike.

“Watch out!” I picked up a rock from the side of the ring and threw it, hitting the attacker on the shoulder. Quickly getting over their shock, the rest of the group piled on the struggling, screaming woman.

“Arrisa?” Graham stared down at her, a look of mild disappointment on his face. “You’re a traitor?”

The woman stared up at Graham, spitting in disgust instead of replying.

Chloe and I exchanged concerned glances. There hadn’t been any traitors in Graham’s group in the book! As I studied the woman closer, struggling to think through the convoluted plot of Deadly Crown, I came to a realization. I walked closer to Chloe, whispering. “Didn’t Arrisa die in the initial battle at the bridge in the story?”

Chloe nodded slowly, her face pale. “Yes.”

In the story, Luke had never helped Graham’s group. Also I had taken out a good number of our attackers with my bow as well. Without us, Graham had lost three companions instead of one, and Arrisa has been one of them.

She had always been a traitor; she had just never gotten the chance in the story.

“Who do you work for?” Chloe asked, obviously trying to make her voice stern.

The woman laughed. “You’re the psychic, you figure it out!”

I thought it over, and finally spoke up. “Fetter.”

The youngest of the princes, who had gained a Tarif already through underhanded deals. He was the second biggest villain in Deadly Crown after Lucien. But where Lucien dealt in violence and death, straightforwardly charging towards his goal no matter the obstruction… Fetter was different. He moved in the shadows, through intrigue and negotiations. Whoever he couldn’t buy he blackmailed, and whoever was too good to be blackmailed had their family kidnapped and tortured until they agreed. He was a malevolent spider, sitting on a network of spies and traitors.

When I had read the books, he was the only character I had actively wished could be killed off. But even until the fourth volume he was still alive and plotting.

Fetter would be the one to plant traitors in his brothers parties.

“…” Arrisa stared at me, slightly panicked, and I smiled as I realized my guess was correct.

Graham drew his sword, pointing it at her throat. “Tell us everything you know.”

She spat at him again. “I’ll die first.”

“Very well.” His eyes were cold as he swung his sword down, cutting off her head with a single stroke.

I looked away at the last moment. I could understand his thinking. She was a traitor, one he didn’t have time to question. She would not only be a burden to take along, but a threat…

But watching him so easily kill one of his companions was chilling.

This terrible plot. I was right to try to stay out of it. But even as I thought that, a nagging thought in the back of my mind wouldn’t go away.

Traitors from Fetter… why did it sound so familiar? Graham’s group hadn’t had a traitor in the book, she had died too early… so who…?

“Eric.” I said the name out loud like a curse. The armored servant at Luke’s side. His name had been familiar, and now I knew why.

He was a traitor.

He had been portrayed almost as a hero in Deadly Crown. The one person who had come the closest to killing the villain Lucien. Of course he failed and died horribly, like all the other characters in that terrible book, but Lucien had been critically injured, almost failing to bring back the Tarif in time.

The plot has already changed. He was supposed to go to the Serpent Camp and get the Tarif quickly from Blade. But now he’s in the Scorpion Camp, surrounded by enemies… what if he tries to kill him there?

I thought of Luke’s reassuring smile as he promised to find me again.

Of him using his favor from Blade to help me instead.

Of choosing a more dangerous camp, just so that I wouldn’t have to choose between him and my sister.

“Fool.” I walked towards my horse, unable to stand still longer.

“Where are you going?” Chloe called out.

“To save Luke.”

“What?! Why?”

I ignored her and kept walking.

“GIRL!” Blade called out after me, and I paused. She tossed a vial of clear fluid towards me and I caught it on reflex. “The Scorpion Leader likes to use poison, cause he’s a weak bitch.” She grinned. “That’s the antidote to his favorite one. Go save that boy, tell him I said hi.”

“Thanks.”

“Try to do a better job next time of being a nobody.” She laughed to herself, and walked away.

I headed forwards.

“Wait!”

A hand grabbed my arm, and it took everything I had not to turn around and swing at the person delaying me from reaching Luke. I turned around to see Graham, with an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face.

“Don’t go.” He spoke just loud enough for only me to hear.

“Let me go.”

“Join us. I have the Tarif. If the other princes fall to their traitors, it will be just me against Fetter. With your help, I could be king.”

“I promised Chloe to help you get the Tarif.” I gestured towards the amulet which was now around his neck. “That’s all.”

He shook his head. “You have the same power as Chloe.”

I paused at that. “In a way.”

“But you don’t treat me the way she does…” He almost sounded wistful.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s because she’s sees so much, but when she looks at you she sees the hero of her dreams. When I look at you, however, I just see you for what you are.”

“And what is that?”

I leaned closer to whisper. “A coward. Someone who would let their companions die without shedding a tear because they were only ever tools in the first place. Who gives those young women just enough hope that their special to you so that they won’t figure out that you don’t even see them as people, much less the love of your life.”

“I’m not…” He trailed off, looking shocked. “I’m really not…”

“Not a coward?” I smiled bitterly. “Then tell them the truth. Tell one of these girls clearly that you love her. Or all of them, or none of them. Let them decide to help you because they think you would be a good king. Not because you were nice to them at the right time and they have hopes that one day they’ll be your ‘special someone.’”

His hand tightened slightly around my arm, his face tight. In his eyes was a desperate light I had never seen before, an almost hungry expression. “What if I said that to you?” He reached into his shirt, pulling out the pearl string he had shown me before. “What if I gave this to you? Would you stay by my side then?”

I leaned closer. “If you gave it to me, I would hand it back, and tell you to shove it up your ass.” I smiled at his startled look. “Because you and I both know that the only person here that you love is yourself.”

Breaking his grip on my arm. I walked away, refusing to look back again.

I had a villain to save.

_____________________________

She was walking away.

Graham stood in place, staring at the unnamed woman’s back, a pain in his chest so terrible that made him wish he were alone and could scream.

He understood why Luke had tried to put his token on her.

Heaven help him. He understood completely.

Graham had grown up as a prince, in a kingdom where everyone he met either wanted to use him or kill him. He learned quickly to read people’s eyes, to see the desires there. To learn what people wanted from him, what they needed him to be. He had to find what they desired, and use that to make them want to follow him.

He looked around at the group around him. She was right. He didn’t see them as people. He looked in their eyes and saw what they desired… wealth, power, romance… and he used that to control them. They were tools in his hands. When he killed Arrisa he had only felt a mild sense of disappointment, the loss of a useful chess piece.

Even Chloe, when she came to him, with her special knowledge of the future, approached him with desire shining in her eyes. She saw him as a hero, and herself as the heroine. As long as he let her believe she was special, she would follow him, give him what he wanted.

But why was She different?

When she looked at him, there was nothing. No desire. No greed. She wanted nothing to do with this world, except to be away from it. She had no strong emotions looking at him. Not love. Not hatred. Just a mild dislike.

At first he thought it was a trick, that she was good at pretending. After all, if she truly didn’t want power, she wouldn’t wear the token of a prince on her wrist. He tried to push her, to learn about her. He would find what she wanted and offer it to her, to pull her to his side.

But when he finally saw the first flicker of a deeper emotion in her eyes… she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at Luke. There was anger, hurt there, of course. But there was also love… trust. She handed back the token, and he realized that Luke hadn’t told her what it meant.

And Graham felt a strange flicker of desperation grow within him.

She had looked right at him. And she saw him for what he was. Not what she wanted him to be. Not what she could get from him. She saw him.

And she saw a coward. One she disliked.

Graham wondered what it would be like to have someone like that look at you, truly see you… and love you.

His fists clenched at his sides as a desire struck him, so strong it almost knocked him to the ground.

He wanted her.

He wasn’t going to let her fade into the background, a nameless existence. He was going to drag her into the thick of it all. Stain her clear gaze with this world, until she desired something, anything. Something he could grab and use to tie her to his side.

She would be his. She would love him.

No matter what.

#writing #I refuse to be a named character #pt 3 #violence #profanity #fantasy #second life #rebirth #intrigue #betrayal

658 notes · View notes