#I WILL write whole ass novels overanalyzing my thought processes regarding a casual hobby I have (art) and no one can stop me

[birbhouse-doodles]

Some post-project ~thots~ re: my first big dive into horror movies in general, some favorites and reviews, and what I learned in boating school from finishing an inktober-type art challenge is

So the ~stats~ of this thing were, I did 29 drawings covering 31 pieces of halloween-related / horror-ish media, 28 movies, 2 series’ and 1 podcast episode. Of the 31, this was the first time I’d seen/heard 25 of them.

On the art:

1. The big lesson that I got from this is exactly what this podcast episode has to say about how executing an idea is its own skill that you have to practice. Like separate from the skills of actually drawing a thing, the mental skill of following an idea through from start to finished product (and being able to call it done and pull the trigger on sharing it) is also a thing you have to learn. And boy howdy does finishing one post-able drawing a day give you plenty of practice at that, and boy howdy did I get pretty good at it this month. I’m kind of floored by how this Just Get It Done Bootcamp of making a shit ton of art in very little time got rid of so many of my hang ups related to like, getting stuck partway through a piece because I'm scared to ruin it, or not being able to get past a thumbnail sketch because I can’t find the ~perfect idea~, etc. Especially this last week I barely even recognized this confident ass person who was planning and banging out these cool little paintings with almost no hesitation. That’s very unusual for me and I really hope it sticks

2. I’m glad I did this but the debate on whether or not I’d ever do it again is ongoing. Like, I’m insanely proud of myself, (whatever)tober challenges were something I always thought were super cool and wanted to do as a little baby artist but was I never in the right place to be able to stick to a project like that, so I’m very impressed with myself. I am, also, however, so fuckin tired oh my god. I spent most of weeks 2 and 3 swearing up and down that I’m never doing anything like this again. But I also spent the last week really loving it and I already have a list of movies I didn’t get to that I could use if I did this again next year... we’ll see I guess. (Also I never would have had time for this if I wasn’t in an awkward limbo of post-graduation-pre-real job right now where I have literally no responsibilities, so I have a feeling that if I do this again it’ll be like. a movie every 3 days for 10 total, something more sane like that.)

3. Deciding I was ok with it when my motivation fluctuated and planning the day’s drawing accordingly was super powerful. Low standards got the job done y’all

4. Sorta related, but I noticed especially for movies I really liked/ rewatches of things that I already knew I loved I would get this weird mental block about wanting to Do Them Justice, and have this struggle of wanting to do whole ass super complicated big awesome tribute pieces instead of something I could actually finish in a day. Was tough to reign that in sometimes and remember that this had to be a quantity > quality type game.

5. I’m glad I started with the markers because they did force me to keep things simple at first and avoid that ^ problem, and it was neat to actually get sorta good at them and test exactly what I can get done with them. Less neat that a few markers that I was really relying on started dying around day 17 or so. Overall my review would be that they’re great for sketchy stuff, darkest gray and lightest gray are the best ones, love that they don’t warp or soak through the paper, but there are a few of the more complicated marker pieces (Alien, The Ring) that would have been way easier and probably turned out better in ink.

On the movies:

Man I hate that it took me so long to realize that I really love horror movies. I remember not enjoying them at all as a kid/tween, I think I just had to grow into it? I have a whole separate essay on why I think that is but we’ll save that one for later. The point is this was my first time seeing most of these and it was really awesome to dig into the, like, ~popular classic horror canon~ like this, 12/10 very fun. (Not that I covered all of it by any means, there’s already a big list of ones I didn’t get to that just keeps growing, and now that I have a better idea of what I like I can be smarter about picking them next time, and I didn’t even scratch the surface of some subcategories of horror that I’d be really interested to check out, especially international stuff/ not just american big screen stuff, and, and, )

I can’t just pick favorites like a normal person so here’s way too many words about some that stood out for me, I have many opinions and no one can stop me so buckle up

I’m having a really hard time picking a scariest movie, but I the things that I ended up finding scary sort of surprised me. Like the super heavy gore/violence stuff wasn’t so much scary as just gross. A few that did stand out as scary for me were Us (jesus christ Lupita please have mercy you’re too good at this) and It Follows (I was so on edge just Watching the background extras trying to guess where the monster was, I thought the amount of tension in that was really impressive). Actually, anything that leaned on crafting tension in a skillful way and letting the horror come from Wrongness and Anticipation instead of just straight violence was chefs kiss, lovely, totally my jam. If I could build a house and live in the 3 seconds between the moment you know a jumpscare is coming and the moment when it actually hits, I would.

Prettiest movie award goes to Suspiria (1977). I would print out almost any frame of this thing and hang it on my wall, I’m just head over heels for the whole ~look~ and the architecture and the sets and the cOLORS oh the colors I’m in love. I actually watched it really early in the month, it might have even been September? but I didn’t want to draw it yet because it would have been a  crime to do anything related to that movie in black and white and I was kinda intimidated by including full color paintings for this project at the time. Runner ups for prettiest go to Caligari (which was like finding an old picture of a great-great-grant-relative and being like holy shit that looks exactly like my uncle I see where the rest of the family gets those looks, but in this case your uncle is like. Every Tim Burton/ Henry Sellick / whimsical-gothic aesthetic thing ever) and Coraline (Laika Studios owns my entire heart).

Best special effects is probably The Thing. GOD why did we as a society ever move away from super detailed hand crafted practical effects gore. You just know some assistant's whole job was to lovingly mist all the gooey bits down with a spray bottle to get it absolutely perfect. That shit is a work of art, I would want the two melted together faces as a sculpture to have in my house if the effects weren’t so good that I genuinely felt a little sick a few times watching this. Honorable mention to Alien for the same reasons.

Award for “didn’t scare me much but did make me deeply sad” goes to Carrie, with The Witch (VVitch?) as a runner up. Making me sad is also like, a valuable emotional response for a piece of art to cause and these were cathartic in their own way, but fuck man. A story that goes “young girl did not sign up for nor deserve any of this and does not catch a single break” are such downers for me. Something something I too was (am?) a weird little girl (tm) and these are My People, so I’m adopting them all as my baby sisters now and taking them out for ice cream and driving them to therapy

Best theme song/ soundtrack goes to Reanimator. This is a controversial choice by the judge (me) when the other nominees include Us, The Shining, and two entire John Carpenters, but I have not been able to get Reanimator’s funky little woodwind bop out of my head for days now. It has absolutely no right to fuck so hard. I rewatched the opening credits like 3 times just so I could hear it again, it ended up on my On Repeat playlist on spotify this week, girl help it’s literally still stuck in my head as we speak

Anyway the more I talk about this the more confident I feel in saying, see you next year for this again. But almost definitely on a smaller scale because jesus I am so tired