#I WANTED TO DISCUSS THE REASONS BEHIND THEM SO STORY TIME W KADI AND A LITTLE VINTAGE DRAMA.

[sinnhelmingr]

7. Have you ever regretted a ship, romantic or otherwise? // @untamedtempest​

lights up a cigarillo dissolves into my couch

christ haven’t i.

earliest instance of this i can name is during the old cod fandom predator uproar when i had two ship partners lose their god damn heads. the first decided to side with the pedo. that was the end of one ooc friendship and all ic interaction bc she prioritized the friendship with the creep over the safety of minors, despite trying to present herself as a cool woke ally to victims. the other ship partner who took a turn is more the one i regret bc she seemed more reasonable and had already largely broken her friendship with the freak in question. we stayed mutuals for a short while, largely driven by ships we had developed between muses.

then she started stealing bits and bobs of other people’s characters. not like coincidental things, either, i’m talking whole swathes of characterization and backstory. she had one oc basically replace a friend’s canon in his relationship with the main villain, then her oc aligned with the same faction started becoming more and more a pastiche of my own oc. i played a romani take on a canonical sniper, how coincidental she retcons her own already established sebastian stan-as-a-sniper oc to be romani. i will give you all a moment to process that. she then proceeded to start playing the canonical sniper, claiming she wanted a more ‘canon’ and ‘accessible’ take on him in what was a miniscule fandom. the main differences between mine and hers besides fcs was that hers happened to be white and heterosexual to mine being poc and bisexual. 

(there’s a lot more examples than these but these are the primary things involving my characters. she did the same with a lot of my friends and their muses, too, to the point the skype chat to discuss the fandom creep soon turned to reassuring one another that yes, this person’s latest headcanon or reworking of her character sounded a lot like something already said about an established blog in our little corner of the internet.)

it was a nightmare of her trying to bully the entire fandom about how what she was doing was ok and the plots she was pushing onto us were going to be written, that we were all still going to interact with her despite just blatantly stealing or reworking characters out from under us. she eventually decided to stop pushing her luck and moved her frankenstein monstrosities to a fandomless ‘original lore’ multimuse, where i can safely say the saddest statement i have ever conceived: somewhere out there, someone is ripping off call of fuckin’ duty and claiming it as an original work. i don’t think you can get less creative than that. i regret every moment i poured into interacting with this woman, let alone letting her try to say good dick or receiving love from one of her ocs would heal the many deep and sexually-based traumas my own oc had been struggling with for two decades.

that was all in the early-mid 2010s, however. i have not had contact with these people in as long, thank fuck, though i have seen the asshole that sided with the creep was still active as of 2020 and was still going strong with her absolute shitshow of a stereotyped native oc and yes, is still trying to present herself as a 100% woke ally who is better than anyone who criticizes her shockingly stereotyped and sexualized diverse casting and characterization uwu. and yes, she is white.

more recently, i had a former partner who got obsessed with several of my muses in other fandoms. like, very uncomfortably involved with them. to the point they started trying to define them for me, or at least the narrative around them. their defining relationship better be with this person’s character, and if i tried to talk about ships these characters had with other partners or even canon characters -- not even romantic, necessarily, if i so much as talked about other dynamics within a fic i was writing about an oc this happened too -- then i got guilt tripped or the other ship got talked down to build up what we had between our muses. their favorite ship in particular, from hindsight, was very obsessive and abusive, all of it being framed as romantic by my partner. it’s all honestly very fresh and some other stuff i realized about my relationship with this person is very upsetting to me, so i’d prefer not to dwell on it except to say it was genuinely problematic material presented in such a way that i didn’t recognize it at first and i feel manipulated by the whole situation. 

i’m trying not to give a lot of details in case the person checks my page, but i think i regret this more than the situation above. that was just silly character stealing form someone my followers might giggle about as they read. this is where i’ve felt a little violated realizing i was used to write concepts and themes that personally trigger me.