#I THINk this is my favorite empyrean album

[gingerale14]

Can't open Tumblr from my phone because screen time limit and also can't remember my password so instead you're getting an anon ask from my secret main (which I'm sure you would discover rather quickly if you tried enough) because it hit me suddenly, in the middle of doing this ling assignment, that I never asked you any questions about your year. I couldn't remember seeing you reblog the post from me or anyone else but I decided that you would be answering the questions anyway because I need to know more normal information about you, and then I go to your blog and see you mentioning me and demanding my turn, so here I am, so many steps ahead that I appear from behind, but I know I'm not ahead and think I'm actually coming out of left field, and in reality all perceptions are wrong and I am being sent from a secret fifth direction scientists don't want you knowing about

(Based on my phrasing there, do you see now why I got as many followers as I did? Old habits die hard. I open Tumblr on my laptop and this happens)

1, 2, 3, 4, 9, 10 (your turn now. I'm sure you remember your handful of times as well as I remember mine, although this is one of those subjects where you don't have to go into detail if you don't want to and can just name the most unserious time), 11, 13 (your excuse to talk about Jurassic Park), 14 (you didn't ask but mine was probably Shriek: An Afterword by Jeff VanderMeer, with The Strange Bird by Jeff VanderMeer, Children of Memory by Adrian Tchaikovsky, and The Stone Sky by N. K. Jemisin as honorable mentions), 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, and 23......which is almost the entire list of questions

I feel like I overshare like crazy and can't keep secrets so this is interesting news. But I like being an enigma, a mystery, a locked box, a dark horse. Keeps people on their toes.

Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel, insanely fun song and the raunchiness takes a while to register but when it does it just makes the song so much more entertaining

So by Peter Gabriel, that entire album is so fucking good. It's a perfect distillation of the 80s sound, but it pulls from so many different places and it's so unabashed about it's purpose that it doesn't fall victim to the corniness that turns me off from so much 80s music. Obviously Peter Gabriel can sing and the instrumentation is out of this world, but it's the production that really makes this album. Every song is absolutely dialed in, the balances are insane. You'll listen to it and every other song sounds like mush compared to the absolute clarity and precision on this album. Perfect album to test out headphones or speakers. Love it, also the album cover and title are strokes of genius. Also honorable mention to The Downward Spiral by NIN, came in with a late clutch but I started listening to it for the first time during final season and that album is already in my top five, can't wait to do a proper listening sesh.

Favorite new artist from this year is difficult, any artist that i start listening to I've usually heard a few of their songs way before and I just decided to dig deeper. But my standout artist of the year is definitely Herbie Hancock, I've been working my way through his entire discography and the dude has helped influence so much of jazz it's insane. His early work has a very dry sound that is a little weird sometimes, but when he gets it right it's beautiful. Empyrean Isles is a gorgeous album, supremely chill. If I'm ever rich enough to have like a lounge room in my house, that album will be playing on repeat in there. Of course you've gotta mention Head Hunters, the stuff he does on there is otherworldly. Singlehandedly ushering in the funk revolution is commendable enough, but the sounds he makes on that album still sound completely forward-thinking. He could have released it today and it would still be celebrated as a pioneering sound. "Chameleon" is a perfect track, and that little disharmony section (if you're a fan of the track you'll know what I'm talking about is) is so fucking saucy that I can't believe it's a wrong note.

Movie of the year is difficult, especially cause my attitudes were so different in the spring vs fall semester. I also watched a lot in the spring (especially due to my film class) and I've watched barely anything this fall. But here are a couple of the best ones: In Bruges (one of the best original concepts I've seen, somehow Martin McDonagh knew exactly what my psyche needed to see and made that movie 16 years ago in preparation for my viewing it), Jurassic Park (specifically the Live in Concert one I watched over the summer, made me tear up with joy), Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (I think everyone needs to watch this movie. If I could only show one movie to a person who had never seen a movie and would never get to watch another one, it'd be this one. A pinnacle of the art form, literally took my breath away, no praise I have is enough for this film), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ("They cannot conceive a world where Leatherface exists." I'm just gonna repeat my Letterboxd review here cause I think I hit the nail on the head: Under the golden heat of the Texas sun, deep in the thorny fingers and pale green wreaths of mesquite, far removed from any notion of of civility or sanity, right or wrong, life or death, sings the song of a chainsaw.) and Bicycle Thieves/Umberto D (I'm putting them both together because the effect is multiplied when you watch them as a pair, truly some of the most despairing films I've ever seen).

9. Best month for me? Very tough question my happy moments in life are usually restricted to singular days. Definitely nothing this semester, august and july weren't great either, neither were june or may, maybe something in the earlier parts of spring semester? Keep in mind "best" simply means "one percent less torturous and agonizing than the rest of the months"

10. Mmmm tough question it was usually just me thinking about the state of my life and how stressed and hopeless and powerless I felt. Usually I'd spark the tears by watching some sad Instagram reels, but my go to was Anderson Cooper's interview of Stephen Colbert, where Cooper chokes up while repeating one of Colbert's gifts back to him: "What punishments of God are not gifts?". Recently though the biggest thing that's made me cry is the last verse of "Under Pressure", which I'm gonna stop talking about because I don't wan't to start sobbing right now. I'm actually really really grateful that I've become a lot more emotionally vulnerable to crying, there were several multi-month periods this year where I was worried that I'd lost the ability to cry, and crying really is such a sweet relief. I feel human again.

11. There's almost nothing I want to carry forward to next year, this year has been shit (also it's very hard for me to conceptualize my "year" as a calendar year i feel like this semester has been my entire year, spring semester belonged to Freshman Kumaren that's a different timeline). Yeah I honestly think every single habit or thing I did this year needs to be changed, and that'll probably be a lifetime undertaking but I don't like the person I am right now. Maybe I'll keep doing self-care sessions (listening to a CD with a poured beer).

13. I answered this in my response to our dear friend's ask (I never know whether to use y'alls' real names or not, or if he's just Mr. Bleedingsalt on here)

14. I honestly have read jack shit this year. Like, absolutely nothing. Horrific statement 10 year old me would have been so ashamed but I don't remember as single thing I read. Wait nevermind I did read Things Fall Apart that was amazing. Oh and reading Annihilaiton over the course of two days spent inside a very creepy forest was certainly an experience OH I FORGOT I finished The Count of Monte Cristo this summer and THAT is the best thing I've read, easily top 3 favorite book (probably #2, behind Life of Pi), literally scratched every itch in my brain the only reason i hesitate to include that in this years was because I read that book over the span of almost 5 years lmao, but I did the bulk of it between August 2023-June 2024.

16.

17.

18. Also answered in my reply to Mr. Bleedingsalt's ask

19. I'm looking forward to some better classes, my gardening class, colder weather (at least the first two months), beer bike, drinking more alcohol (shaking with anticipation), going to the gym more, going to therapy, watching more movies, reading more books, going on more walks, exploring Houston more, taking better care of myself, finally putting up all my room decorations, basically taking one step closer to living a life that is actually happy and whole, instead of the dark hole that I've been stuck in all semester long.

20. I learned that I chase women because I hate myself. That's the condensed version. My self-loathing and insecurity about basically every part of my identity leaves this huge hole in my life. I'm constantly vying for some woman or another because she has all the qualities that I want to see in myself, and I think deep down somewhere that if I can share her life with her then my own life will be happy cause she'll fill that hole I feel so acutely. I've known this in the back of my mind for a while now, but I've never had to directly reckon with it until this October, so I've had to swallow that pill unfortunately. I've also learned I really like beer. Modelo's are solid, great flavor. I was excited for Asahi but I was let down, a little too dry and clean, and the sweet grape-y finish did not appeal to me. Miller High Life have a wonderfully mild flavor, but the canned ones aren't always smooth, and the bottled ones lack body, they're thin. O'Douls non alcoholic beer sucks, beer sucks if it doesn't have that bite. Tejas Clara is solid, great flavor. Michelob Ultra is dogshit. Anything from St. Arnolds tastes like poison. Paulaner Marzens are good, but they aren't as robust as I'd like. Miller Lite is also pretty solid, I think that'll be my go-to cheap beer. Not too thin decent taste, nice and light. Shiner Bock is delicious, could very well be my favorite beer of the year. Deep, rich, caramel flavor, great body and depth. Beautiful head when poured, even the color is a fantastic dark maple. Of course, can't go wrong with Coors Banquet, not many complaints there. Probably the best body of any beer I've had, powerful flavor yet still light.

22. Favorite place I visited this year was Mt. Blue Sky in Colorado. I'm not gonna get into details but this pic should answer any questions.

The perfect soundtrack for this photo is Xtal by Aphex Twin

23. I can't provide a sufficient response to this question without getting too personal, sorry.

[archivedjuice]

21, 22, 27, 28, 64 (pink), 66!

a song or album from this year or last year: (album) we're not here to be loved by fleshwater

what’s your favorite song or album from the year you where born? (album) MM..FOOD by MF DOOM

do you enjoy making playlists? if so, are there any you’re proud of and would like to share? YEP YES. i use deezer tho so i'm sorry if these aren't accessible!! ad aetatem, which means coming of age in latin (also where i got my instagram handle from), is a playlist full of songs that i think sound like they'd be in a coming of age movie. it's ongoing because i'm always finding new music and always adding to it. nothin' to lose is my mike murdock playlist. insubstantial empyrean is a shoegaze playlist with a pretentious ass name.

have you ever made/got a mixtape as gift to/from a friend? nope :( i want to make my dad one tho

send me a color and i’ll post an album cover art of that color (pink).

share your favorite playlists that you or someone else has made! you're dreaming is the default deezer dream pop playlist please forgive me.

music asks

[empyreansmoon]

EMPYREAN MOON REFLECTION

THE SXITH-MINI ALBUM LYRIC SPOILERS

[onyxheartbeat]

I was tagged by one of the coolest people on tumblr, @astarkey to do these two music challenges. Thank you, Ash! I always appreciate you tagging me. I’m sorry this took so long. x

Five albums I cannot live without (this fluctuates a lot for me, but I often return to these) —

The Brown Bunny Soundtrack / various artists Disintegration / The Cure The Empyrean / John Frusciante The Nocturnes / Rubinstein, Chopin Some Vague Desire / The Agnes Circle

Favorite song right now —

The Spell Of Mathematics / Deftones A song I associate with my favorite ship —

I’m not sure if I ship anything, so I’ll just say I think Te Vas by Yashua is a sexy song.

A song that could be about me —

You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me / The Miracles 

A song that reminds me of a good memory —

Black Walls / Chromatics

A song I find overrated —

Probably something by The Beatles

A song I want my mutuals to listen to — Virginia Woolf Underwater / Chelsea Wolfe

A song that makes me laugh —

I Hate Boys / Yung Cxreal, Baby Frankie

Last song I listened to —

No Ordinary Love / Sade

I tag @awesomgrlgr8job @chroniclesofreven @saturniinne @drum-cu-naluci @remarkableboyithinkilleatyour and anyone else who wants to do it! 

[cowboy]

what are your like top 10 oM songs?

this is SUPER hard to answer so I’m gonna try to be accurate but this also changes very often. but also I’m just gonna go with my long term favorites. in no particular order bc i don’t think i could put one as number one

1. anyway just kidding my number one of all time is Party’s Crashing Us no contest. this is because it was the first song i ever heard of theirs, and I really only had heard sunlandic twins because it was the one my sibling played the most. (I started liking oM because of my sibling lol). It just makes me so happy and sad at the same time it’s such a beautiful song. I only feel alive when the vus flashing.. alarms going off in my heaaadd.. i wanna grab you and just kiss you maybe i should sit down no sense in cashing us nowww..... the partys crashing us nowww....

2. okay from now on actually in no particular order, an elurdian instance is still one of my favorite songs, and the one people tend to say is a “very me” song. although it’s really hard to choose off of skeletal lamping bc that used to be my favorite album of theirs for like a couple years. anyway it’s such a nostalgic song.. the bit about the mountain goats and the last summer as independents and stuff always makes me so ;_;

3. we will commit wolf murder I swear to fucking god it’s SO good. I’m considered ugly from every angle... youre the only beauty i don’t wanna strangle... the lyrics are beyond amazing and like his voice is so soft and he doesn’t overdo the falsetto (though his falsetto is always good). and i dont even dislike the weird ending which i usually do (he overdoes it on this album too but im aware shes just that kind of girl and has to do the weird artsy instrumentals). good fucking song

4. speaking of paralytics stalks, what an UNDERRATED ALBUM. I LOVE dour percentage. “this planet is an orphanage” is such a good line also his falsetto here is extremely good. i love singing to this song. he also wrote it about a friend breakup which i love and well it’s just a good song. I’m also gonna have this be a tie with malefic dowery which has a similar vibe; so soft and singable...

5. ok paralytic stalks again maybe but spiteful intervention is easily possibly my second favorite song of theirs. the beginning makes me acutlaly insane. i used to listen to it at 5 AM on my way to work on the freeway and hearing him say “oh god the morning light, sunrays bring my paranoia, I CAN’T FUNCTION UNLESS I’M THE ONLY ONE -- AWAKE” literally unlocked something inside of me. SUCH a good song

I’m manic right now

6. faberge falls for shuggie thank you very much. hissing fauna used to be my favorite album for a very long time and the intro to this song would just live in my mind forever. i love his screaming/yelling and weird voice in this one. he’s like speaking to himself in it (did shuggie do it yet? no. not yet) and i love when he does that shit. the instrumentals are so good. and the scream bit at around 2:00 is so delightful.

i’m starting to realize i don’t actually know my top ten favorites and i have like top 20 actually. this is hard

7. i have to add in some satanic panic of course, so climb the ladder is on here. he has such a sweet little gift for making such nice love songs. i also love lysergic bliss of course but i think a lot of the songs off that album are so underrated including this song. wahh

8. sleeping in the beetle bug!! such a delightful tune and i love the key it’s in. i love cherry peel. the lyrics are so funny and the breakdown in the song is great. he is so good at guitar man

9. stag to the stable is my #1 lyrical depression song what a GOOD song to have a little breakdown to. rune husk is such a sexy EP too. i want the cover on a shirt

i’m extending this to 12 songs i really dont care sorry

10. Empyrean Abattoir. this album is an underrated basic rock album of his but this song in particular does something to my brain... the breakdown is also super good on this. when he transitions between the softer mellower parts into the yelling... the beginning is still my favorite part though . TBQH

11. feminine effects is such a sweet little song and the “bobby baby” makes my heart go SOFT so so so soft. i dont know who the vocalist is but I LOVE her voice. i think shes the one on lousy with sylvianbriar as well? is that nina?? anywho. WAIT SPEAKING OF NINA shoutout to heimsdalgate like a promethean curse i love that line. dancing to this song live is like crack to me. i shout the lyrics every time

12. tie between triumph of disintegration, imbecile rages, and raindrop in my skull off of lousy. what a great country-esque album. i always listen to it when i’m chillliing. raindrop in my skull is one of my favorites because the aforementioned singer has such a nice voice.

(shoutout to miss blonde your papa is failing for being the saddest fucking song of all time)

okay so the rest of his albums are pretty poppy and i love pretty much all of them (except ur fun . ur fun sucks) but there arent top 10 favorites on them really. i will say i love IFSWYT and i think there are some songs that might become a top 10/20 song if i get more time with them. well anyway. sorry for the ranting but i love all these songs so much. god bless

[outroshooky]

imagine | ksj

⇢ genre: drabble (postbreakup!au) (angst, some fluff)

⇢ pairing: kim seokjin x reader

⇢ word count: 2.5k

⇢ prompt: “why can’t you imagine a world like that?”

⇢ warnings: swearing and heartbreak. have fun, y’all.

⇢ a/n: i’ve been listening to thank u, next as an album a lot for the last few weeks. kudos to ariana grande and imagine for this one, as well as she’s all yours by loote.

Nobody ever said pad thai was the healthiest of dinners, but it certainly hit the spot on cold, rainy evenings when you found yourself bent over textbooks, immersed in criminal psychology like the nerd that you are.

Chinese food has become your go-to more and more these past few weeks, the heat on your tongue from Kung Pao chicken and lo mein warming you up from the inside. All it seems to do outside your apartment windows is storm, the world outside rendered a permanent color swatch of gray. Pewter were the clouds that settled low over campus, bellies distended with wrath. Abalone was the muted light that filtered through your bedroom blinds, dim and barely-there. Slate were the bricks of the achy old home directly facing your own, looming in your window, lashed wet and whipped by the never-ending rainfall.

A depressing existence, certainly.

In fact, the weather is not the only thing that seems to have turned a chilled back on you. In one dramatically splintering fragment, your friends have drifted away from you, too. Yoongi no longer comes around to talk some obscure bit of politics with you; Taehyung suddenly finds excuses to spend his time pouring over copies of art manuscripts dating back to the Renaissance. Your cold brew seems to have lost its vanilla flavor; the sweetness brews stagnant on your tongue. Even the majestic portraits of the university’s founding fathers, poised and proud in their frames, appear to be frowning down on you.

It’s as if the universe is trying to tell you something. Which, judging by all of those things plus the daily horoscopes that light up your phone screen, it probably is.

Sunday, 12:47 PM. Your day at a glance. Sometimes, you’re doing the work without being aware of it.

“You missed date night on Friday.”

“I did? Oh my god babe, I’m so sorry. Can we do it this Sunday instead? Or maybe Wednesday?”

“I have work on Sunday and a mandatory civics exam on Wednesday.”

“Well, how about next week?”

“This is the third one in a row you’ve missed, Seokjin.”

Yesterday, 12:53 PM. Your day at a glance. Think of trusting people as an act of generosity today.

“I thought you said you were studying with Yoongi in the library tonight.”

The door creaks closed. “I was. There’s a group project coming up that we’re nervous for.”

A text notification lights up your phone, the gentle ping! way more cheery than necessary.

myg: where’s your boyfriend? he’s supposed to be here. it’s been two hours and his coffee is getting cold.

And, perhaps, your favorite:

Nine hours ago. Your day at a glance. Don’t be scared to tell each other the truth.

myg: there’s nothing wrong with me, but i think you need to take some time for yourself, so we’re giving you some space. we’re all worried about you.

Perhaps this whole message-from-the-universe thing is more obvious than you thought it was.

You roll your eyes and take another bite of your takeout, leaning over your textbook with renewed, nearly reckless abandon.

The universe would have to wait. You had an examination on court cases tomorrow that you could not afford to fail.

It’s late the next time you look at the clock, so late that night has spilled over into the early morning, and for once, it’s quiet outside.

The streetlights reflect on the tearstained panes of your window, droplets of gold shimmering tranquil. Branches scratch at the glass with persistence, but not insistence. The lamp’s glow burns soft in the darkness of your bedroom, and the pen flows moot in your aching grasp, working endlessly for four hours- no, five. Your eyes grow heavy in the light that seems to be dying evermore, the bulb fading and flickering, threatening total extinction.

Perhaps a brief, merciful rest is in order.

Your head hits the cover of your notebook and you’re asleep without a second thought.

A single chime resounds in the stillness of your apartment, a sound that conditions your weary head to instantly lift from your pillow of study materials. You blink; your eyes are dry and sticky from exhaustion, but your dark laptop screen is awakened with color, so alive and so brightly blue that you squint for a moment, pupils overwhelmed.

Incoming call: campus-wide handsome💕💕💕

Relief.

Relief floods your system like water pouring from a broken dam, leaking and sinking and filling every nook, every cranny. Relief, ease; the feelings spurt color into your darkened world, the details sharpening as if brought into focus by an empyrean lens. Relief, him. This is normal; everything will be fine, he’s calling to talk it out, finally. He’s ready to come clean, to own up to his mistakes and mishaps and god, you will too, because you are far from perfect. Two broken halves, reunited by the glow of pixels on an electronic screen.

You move, almost automatically, to accept the call.

On the other side of the screen, your boyfriend sits, blurry with a poor connection. He is effortlessly handsome barefaced, an oversized hoodie thrown on casually, brown locks mussed in a style only he could pull off. His brow is more pronounced in the shadows of his dorm room, his almond eyes tired but hopeful. He's never looked so domestically kissable; your heart twists at the thought.

When Seokjin speaks, he’s quiet with the reverence of night-time, that sacred morning space when the world pauses to take a breath of its own. Everything is on the table, but nothing is off limits. “Hey, gorgeous.”

“Hi,” you breathe.

He scratches at the back of his neck, fingers disappearing in the strands of hair that lick at his ears. “I know that this isn’t really warranted and is probably going to sound weird, but I needed to hear your voice. It’s late, but- I don’t know, I missed it. I missed you.”

Your heart soars. “I missed you too Jinnie, more than I’d like to admit in all honesty.”

A smile pulls at his lips, wonderfully plush and sweet. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.” 

You gaze into the camera at him. Him, the person with the world in the palm of his hands. Him, the student whom nearly every one of his professors fawned over, the son of one of the most distinguished politicians in the region. Him, who had caught your eye at the nearby coffee shop one late afternoon shift and stolen your heart with a spilled cappuccino all over his brand new slacks. Him, who stares at you with java eyes and a tender heart, so close but so, so far away.

There’s a beat of silence that falls as you stare at him, and he clears his throat. “Baby, I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“Us.”

A prickle of worry in your stomach. “What about us?”

“Do you remember that night when you made your mom’s pasta from scratch for the first time?”

Your brows furrow. “What about it?”

“That was the night we slow danced in the kitchen to Sinatra,” he reminisces. “It was just us and the moon, dancing on the tile while Frank crooned. I miss that.”

Your heart leaps at the happy memory, burning clear in your mind.

Seokjin waggles his brows as he places one hand on your waist, the gentle pressure of his hand on your hip comforting. You’re in sweatpants and an old shirt; he’s in a suit, having just come off his internship at a local firm. But he’s looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, your cheeks pink with the heat of the kitchen and your sleeves splattered with tomato sauce. And in that moment you are wholly, completely enrapturing to him, so much that he just had to ask you to dance, to hold you tight to his chest as the vinyl in the hallway plays and you have carved a moment out of chaos for yourselves, you only.

“May I have this dance, little chef?”

“You may, my handsome lawyer.”

“I only passed the bar exam, like, five months ago.”

“Shut up and dance with me, you coward.”

“I’m shutting up now.”

“And I miss that day we spent at the arboretum a few hours away, walking between the roses and talking about anything and everything,” Seokjin continues. “Or the times we’d bring Chinese food over Yoongi and Jimin’s dorm room and play Cards Against Humanity for hours on end.”

Seokjin kneels to cradle a flower delicately between his fingers, studying the pastels etched like ink into the petals. “You know, your lips are as beautiful as those petals,” you blurt. “And as soft, too.” He blushes a deep crimson all the way to his ears, and you laugh aloud.

Cheeks stuffed round and full with dumplings, you nearly choke at the card you draw from the stack. “Gordon Ramsay’s what?” The room is filled with howls of mirth and this, you think to yourself, this must be heaven.

“Even the moments when you’d cry because the stress was too much, or when I had that emergency hospital trip and you found out in the middle of your lecture.”

Chest heaving, lungs stabbing, fear. Stress and exhaustion and anxiety, bearing down their cruel weight on your shoulders, twisting each thought just enough to make it hurt. You’re crying into your hands, a hiccup punctuating each fresh sob, when your apartment door is opening and he’s stumbling in and then his arms are around you. He’s clutching you so tight you feel as though your ribs are cracking, insisting that he must hold you together when you feel yourself shattering into infinitesimal pieces, finds it in himself to pluck each shard from his palm and put it together to find you again. You, the everlasting heartbeat of his microcosm, a little slice of paradise to which no one else holds the key.

Chest heaving again, but it’s pure panic that floods your veins this time, seeps frigid into your blood. In a rush you’re dropping your phone into your bag, practically throwing your laptop and your books into your backpack with one hand, scrabbling for your car keys with the other. A text from Yoongi you’ll never forget: this isn’t an emergency, but jin had a severe allergic reaction to the seafood we got for lunch. he’s on his way to the hospital right now. Never in your life had you driven twenty-five miles an hour over the speed limit before that day, but he was awake and alert when you saw him next, enough to give you a crooked thumbs-up as he smiled behind the nebulizer.

“I don’t know why I’m thinking of all this. I guess I just wanted to call you and tell you that I love you and I miss you, and I’m thinking of you. It’s late, but you’re the only thing on my mind, and really, just- I’m sorry for everything that’s been going on lately.” You can hear the earnest pleading in his voice, the ache in his soul. He means what he says, and a pang of guilt throbs at the surface.

“I really do love you,” he continues. “I love you like every star shines in the midday sky, even when they’re too bright to be seen. I love the way your nose scrunches when you laugh and how your eyebrows furrow when you study at night and how your teeth aren’t quite straight; they’re perfect the way they are. I love your little unorthodox habits, your quirks and flaws and your talents too. I love you, okay? I love you for who you are and I promise we will get through this, I swear it even if it takes every ounce of energy I have.”

His voice breaks when he says okay; he says those three words like he's trying to embed them into your soul, carve them into your psyche, promise you that even though this has been falling apart at the seams, he loves you. Somehow, someway, it will last. The end isn’t near; that's not possible. Not while he loves you like this, and you love him too, love him with every ounce of your soul.

“Seokjin, I-” you begin.

CRASH!

Thunder explodes outside your window and you jolt, hand lashing out, knocking over your cup of pens and pencils that sits expectantly on your desk. It is if the sky is cleaving itself in two, lightning splitting the sky with an explosion of light and thunder howling with a cacophony of darkness. Rain pours down, spilling from the gutters down your sill; you can hear a faint dripping from the bathroom and realize the ceiling is leaking again, just like it has every day for the last two and a half weeks.

You raise a hand to your cheek and trace the square imprints in the skin from your laptop keyboard. There’s a kink in your neck that aches like the devil, your spine aching after the uncomfortable position you contorted yourself into pre-nap and you are so groggy at first that nothing seems out of the ordinary, and you move to message Seokjin that you accidentally took a nap, and you loved him, too.

You press the power button on your laptop. No response.

You frown and try again, running your hand across the body of the machine, cold and unresponsive to the touch.

Cold and unresponsive?

But you were just-

No.

No.

Seokjin was just here. He was just here; you just saw him onscreen, you’d call him in a moment and things would be just how they were.

Just how they were two weeks ago, when he’d told you over a caramel macchiato that this, whatever beautiful thing you had cultivated, was beyond repair. That he couldn’t have more of his energy sapped by this relationship that you had put so much of yourself towards, giving him everything he could possibly want, and yet at the end of it all, you’re the one whose face is spat upon with scorn. He promised you that you would get through this, and yet there is no promise because this is already over, and the second time the thunder crashes in your ears like a symphony of pure sound, you cry aloud. It felt so fucking real to have him there, him, the color on your canvas, the brightness of your everyday life turned up like an old television dial.

The lamp still shines buttery gold, all these hours later. Now it matches the tinge of dawn that peeks through a break in the angry clouds, spreading its vibrant fingers like ivy seeking a trellis.

It is so easy to imagine a world in which your laptop merely died, cutting off your proclamation of love to him. So easy to imagine him in his dorm on campus, body crooked as he sleeps curled in on himself, buried under a pile of blankets when your body can’t provide him the heat. So easy to pretend as though none of this nightmare, this hellish denial had never even happened to begin with.

But you can’t anymore.

You can’t hold onto every experience. Give yourself permission to forget.

Your phone vibrates with a notification.

Fortunate are those who can appreciate the basic goods of life with awe, pleasure, wonder and ecstasy, again and again for the first time.

[doomedandstoned]

Doomed & Stoned in Iran with Roaring Empyrean

~By Billy Goate~

Photo Credit: Shahrokh Dabiri

It's fair to say that much of our view of the world is muddled by a cloud of politics, whether that comes from the strong opinions of family and friends, the news media, or our elected officials. When I heard such casual joking of bombing Iran during the 2008 US presidential elections, I cringed. Now more than 10 years later, the bluster of obstinate world leaders looms large once again, posturing with the weird flex of war. What most people are missing is real perspective on the people of Iran and, I would argue, the music of that country.

Hell, I was woefully uninformed myself, so when I started noticing more and more offerings from the heavy music community out of Tehran, I struck up a friendship with one doomedshinobi on Instagram, mastermind of the one-man band Roaring Empyrean, "a musical project aiming to create atmospheres where feelings in contrast meet, in a combination of funeral doom metal and New Age." Intrigued, I asked doomedshinobi for an interview and we exchanged words over oceans and breached the cultural divide for one of the more fascinating discussions about the joys and trials of being an artist I've encountered since starting Doomed & Stoned.

When I found doom, I was like someone who had reached his destination after a long journey.

What's it like being a heavy musician in Iran? Most of us have no clue about what's acceptable and not in the culture there.

When you are dealing with a radical ideological regime, you can't reason with them. All kinds of art are seen forbidden here, unless they preach Islam or government ideologies. Things get worse when you are dealing with some art that is Western in nature. Metal is, in nature, Western. And even there, it had its problems sometimes from church and common beliefs. Here, it doesn't matter what you make and what you sing. As long as you are metal, you are seen as Satanic!

I remember reading an article in some magazine about Metallica being black metal, just because they have an album called Black. The author claimed, "They are black metal artists and black metal is Satanic, so they are making music to take away our people from God and Path of Light." I remember reading somewhere that even Pink Floyd was labeled Satanic. So things are hard for you if you are an extreme musician, like metal. You are alone in the scene here. Producers and labels mostly refuse to work with you. Stores won't sell your physical releases and stages to perform are hard to get. There have been many cases when a band got a show and then right before the show or even in the middle of performance, it was forced to be canceled. Many musicians even get arrested afterwards.

In Iran, metalheads find interest more in death and black metal, as well as power and symphonic.

Now imagine you are a musician, a metal musician, a darker and extremer type of metal musician. You are mostly alone on your own to make your own studio, produce your music and release it. This leads to many Iranian bands using free social media to share their music and send the word mouth by mouth. Platforms like Bandcamp, Soundcloud, and YouTube are blocked by the regime and someone like myself has to bypass filters in various ways to get access to these platforms. Due to the poor economy and fall of Iran Rial value, getting a full set of proper equipment costs a fortune. Many young musicians leave all they have to pursue musicianship.

The good thing, though, is people. They are welcoming metal and heavier musical styles more and more with each passing day -- especially the younger generation. But as is all over the world, heavy and extreme metal styles have less fans than most other genres. And if you are to be a heavy style musician, you have to accept this. You either want to pursue money and fame or do what you like for its own sake. There you have something like pop and hip-hop, and doom metal is scarce.

Monuments (Remastered) by Roaring Empyrean

What are you thoughts about the band Confess being imprisoned recently?

Confess is just one example known to the rest of the world of a band that has been imprisoned. I didn't know of them until I read that article, but the things that happened to them are not something new or uncommon among artists of all kinds, and it clearly is unfair. This happens in the extreme to artists pursuing foreign styles of art.

There are some charges that each time they face an opposing idea, they declare it upon the person. Like speech against Islam, against supreme leadership, and against national security! And these charges bring high punishments. I don't want to talk politics and stuff, as I am in Iran. I just wish every artist freedom to express their minds and souls, which is hard to come by. Years of prison for some art is what only a stone age ideology can decide is fair!

Song of the Seas (EP) by Roaring Empyrean

How did you first get into the darker, more expressive side of music? For example, what records have been most influential to you? When did you first start playing an instrument?

This is the most interesting question so far. As a child, I remember my father starting the day with some Pink Floyd, continue it with Metallica, sometimes going softer to Eagles or Eloy. This made me to not get into mainstream pop media even at an early age. He also listened to a lot of Kitaro and Enigma back then. And I got some Vangelis compilation from my uncle. Before 10, I was listening to rock and new age more than anything else, but I was always looking for the extremes in my life, in whatever aspect.

And so in music, I started listening to Linkin Park and System of A Down. They were fast, harsher, and wilder. But you know, there is always a loop. What is hotter than red? When you heat something, it turns red, then yellow and white. What's next? It turns blue! A cold color, but it’s even hotter. I liked to have this hotness of blue which is cold! So, instead of speed (red) I turned into slow (blue), which is more extreme.

I don't know if I make any sense at this point or not, but this is the real motivation for me to dig deeper in slower, heavier music. When I found doom, I was like someone who had reached his destination after a long journey. Doom is that hot blue. It is that extreme paradoxical matter to me. However, I didn't enter doom from the traditional door.

Many young musicians leave all they have to pursue musicianship.

In Iran, metalheads find interest more in death and black metal, as well as power and symphonic. It is hard to come by someone who started metal with stoner, sludge or psychedelic rock. Not impossible, but hard. I entered the doom from the gothic, folk, and death subgenres with acts like Empyrium and Saturnus. But now I appreciate every good metal, especially any doom I can find. That ache for extreme, however, made my primary taste to be funeral doom as we talk now.

Many records helped my musical imagination to go diverse. Vangelis' 'Direct' (1988) is amongst the most influential to me. Each track on that record is in a different style and different color. Vangelis has a diverse musical ground and his works have always been an inspiration to me. You can go right from electronic to orchestral and back to a more rockish sound all in one track! "Intergalactic Radio Station" is definitely my favorite track on that record.

On the metal side, I can't imagine anything more influential than Empyrium's LP, 'Songs of Moors and Misty Fields' (1997). The heaviness and agony in the sound, accompanying various folk and symphonic elements which lead to ever rising feel of the music. It's a rising agony. Truly a masterpiece. Many bands are cold and sad. Empyrium's music is warm and sad to me. This makes them unique. A folksy, symphonic, heavy doomy sound.

And it is not good of me to fail to mention Arvo Pärt, the Estonian classical composer. His minimal depressing compositions made me look at music from a whole new perspective. There is always that minimalist sadness in it, but a call is always moving you forth in his works. Then there is one sudden glorious, majestic rise and a tragic fall afterwards in most of his compositions. My more recent neoclassical elements are definitely due to his works.

Cosmic (EP) by Roaring Empyrean

How did you get inspired to start writing your own music?

I've always loved making music. Composing, rather than playing an instrument. And there was this other thing, called synesthesia. It is a kind of rare mental condition in which two or more of the five primary senses find a way to connect, which aren't connected normally. It has many types. I, however, can see the sounds. It makes me see every sound in my mind in terms of a shape, color, movement/direction, surface roughness, and brightness. I have had this condition since I can remember.

I don't see anything meaningful though, just some random shapes. Like the cello has a thick, dark green, rough line shape at lower notes and a bright, shining, thin green light at higher notes. So when I listened to music, there was a world of colors dancing in my mind and it fascinated me so much. I didn't know this was a thing until age 15.

You are alone in the scene here. Stores won't sell your physical releases and stages to perform are hard to get.

Being able to bring my own desired colors in music was something I wanted to do for a long time. I first started playing guitar back in high school, but that didn't give me the diversity I wanted. So I started creating instrumental tracks which were nowhere near metal -- mostly New Age music with synths. As time passed, my love for doom and heavier sounds found a way into my music. I used many instruments to paint my tracks: cello for green, piano for purple and blue, violin for yellow, sitar synths for shining red points, and guitar riffs for orange -- like a massive wall. My love for New Age and doom metal made me think of that paradoxical extreme once again. Why not try combining dark and heavy doom and funeral doom with bright atmospheric new age? This was when Roaring Empyrean came to life back in 2011.

As many New Age acts, I'd like my music to take the listener on a journey in their minds and make them think -- think about themselves and their existence. People today just follow what they are made to follow, and don't ask why. They don't think about why things are the way they are in this modern world. They lack thinking. They just obey and overfill themselves with whatever joys the unwritten rules are giving them.

What instruments, pedals, and amps do you have access to?

As for the gear, I'm afraid I rely so much on synthesizers and samplers -- not that I want to, but the poor economy here prevented me many times from getting the equipment and instruments I want. We don't produce any non-Iranian instruments, so everything is an imported product, and comparing the falling Rial to GBP or the US dollar, for someone like me, it is still impossible. But I have plans to leave Iran. Maybe then I can get the gear I want and make more lively sounds. But I can't keep quiet and not make music 'till then.

The Monarch (EP) by Roaring Empyrean

Have you had the opportunity to perform publicly?

No, never have I performed public. And I have no intention yet, unless I gather the gear I want. However, I've always liked to perform in a symphony once in my life. Maybe one day.

If you could play anywhere in the world, what would be your top scenes and would there any bands you'd love to be on the same bill with?

Interesting question! My doomy, metallic side likes to perform in the doomiest places. I'd like to perform in a sanctuary or a cave, as I have seen in some festivals like Doom Shall Rise, which is sadly is no longer going on. But there are many. Tokyo, London, and the US are generally places I'd like to perform. The other, non-metal side of me would like to perform at the Vienna Musikverein concert hall with a full orchestra and metal set together performing Roaring Empyrean.

These dreams surely seem impossible now, but there is this Persian saying: "Let the youth dream." I'd be honored to perform alongside Shape of Despair, Pantheist, Worship, Mournful Congregation, and Ankhagram more than others in the scene, but I'd be glad to play along any at all.

Mournful Congregation has a track called "The Rubaiyat" in which they sing translations of Hakim Omar Khayam's Rubaiyat -- short poems in a certain style. This makes them so respected in my heart, as I love Omar Khayam and we read those poems here as they are in native Old Persian. I'd like to play an opener for them.

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[junkyardlynx]

Ch. 1

Looking back, my life has been pretty normal. I mean, my mom and dad love me, I have a good dog, my childhood friend makes me lunches for school a few times a week. I think she might even like me. We end up playing a lot of games. Everything in my daily life has been a mundane kind of blissful.

I came home from class late, the sun melting and dissolving into the purple ink of the night as I closed the door behind me. A thunderous ringing of steel vibrated in my ears from the basement as I crossed the threshold, followed by a hellish roar that would freeze the blood of any mortal man. Digging around lazily in the fridge I pawed at an apple and tugged it free of the bag. Checking my phone, I tugged the stem off absently and took a bite. Man, I love apples.

"Emirus! The vessel. Surrender it, and this world may survive the Opening of the Gates long enough to become something gran-HURK!“ 

he rumbling voice that was crushed earth and molten rock was cut off mid speech, a wet thud barely audible from far below the earth.

Well, this was troubling.

There was a brown spot on my apple.

Frowning, I narrowed my eyes, and a perfect cube of flesh disappeared from the fruit, excising the rot. Man, I really do love apples. A moment later, a slash and shimmer of purple like a hole cut from twilight appeared next to me. From it, a tall and imposing man stepped out, fixing the accents of his clothing before looking upon me. His hair was a pale, radiant blonde, the waves of which fell to his shoulders and his features were sharp but handsome, almost unnaturally so. They bordered on excessively sharp, really, like his existence held the world in contempt at the end of a blade. The man’s presence seemed to demand respect and fealty. Dressed in a swanky black suit with green accents along the breast pocket, cufflinks and button, his eyes blinked once before the smoldering emerald embers bored into me. Wordlessly, I produced another apple after a moment of groping into the fridge and handed it to him. His spare hand shot out, slicing through the air like a blur. Blood flicked off the pale skin, splashing in the sink before it landed softly on my head, stroking my hair with obvious affection.

“Jeal! Welcome home, son.” 

He took a bite of the apple I’d offered, closing his eyes in satisfaction for a long moment before he launched into a flurry of fatherly conversation. 

“Rather taken with apples, aren’t we? How was class, sweet child of mine? Did Sarisa make you lunch again? You can bring her over any time. Sharp as a tack, that girl. Always liked her. Even when she accidentally teleported you into a tar pit for laughing at her when she forgot her chemistry texts. I might have liked her more for that, now that I think about it. Oh, come on, my boy! I jest.“

As my scowl faded, my eyes wandered over dad’s clothes as he bombarded me with his melodic voice, my brow furrowing in concern at a blossoming red stain just above the green accent of his breast pocket. His white cheeks flushed red momentarily as he held one hand to his chest, just above the wound. My father did not get “hurt”. My father was practically invincible, and it wasn’t the idle boast of a dumb kid. My father could tear the heart out of a chimera with a glance. He had, actually. That’s...why I said it.

"Oh, this? Your old man won’t be put down by an enchanted blade or three. Seriously. They talk of “freeing” the Abaranthia soul-plains but conveniently ignore the fact that production of soul dust has increased and that the number of restless spirits is almost zero. Your lineage practices black magic and necromancy for a few millennia and suddenly you’re villains."

I let my father go on as I finished my apple, dropping the core in the trash. For the last week, he had seemed anxious and rushed, and our lessons dragged into the early morning, leaving me precious little time for sleep before class. Time seemed to stop as I considered my words in my head. I didn't really speak often, as people seemed to infer my mood and reactions from body language alone, but when I did...well, it seemed like the world gave me whatever time I needed to think.

I contemplated a moment more, close to finding my words, but not quite there. I told my dad about it once before and I remember the way his face was covered in an ashen pallor, but he waved one exquisitely manicured hand and postulated that it was my sorcerer’s mind simply kicking into overdrive, making the outside world appear to slow as my thoughts raced. We never talked about it again. With Emirus (who held such titles as Hawk of the Black Castle, Slayer of the Empyrean Sea, Lord of the Dead, Dad, Dr. Culaine and Pops) still warmly gazing at me, he brought the apple to his mouth. Finding my words, I puzzled out my thought.

"Well dad, if we’re villains, we’re villains of circumstance.” 

With an abnormally long canine tooth visible just before sinking into the blushing flesh of the apple, pride swelled on my father’s face, leaving me somewhat bewildered.

“Jeal, my beautiful lad boy! Dipping into your old man's albums again, I see. I think that'd make a wondrous family motto - quite a bit punchier than ‘abyssus abyssum invocat.’ You’re not only surpassing your old man in sorcery - but quotability! I’m so proud.” 

His strong, powerful hands fell on my shoulders. I averted my gaze slightly, embarrassed that he was praising my shitty reference. Well, if we can steal dead language and call it our own, why not a snippet of a song? His kind gaze fell on me again, a thin but warm smile on his sharp face. This was my favorite expression to see on my father’s face, so a natural smile found my own lips.

“Make no mistake, my apple of knowledge. You did not fall far from this magnificent tree. I’ve long thought about what you are - quiet, but kind. Silent, but bursting with expression. I do admit that once I had joked with your sweet mother with regards to whether you were really our son,” his tone took an apologetic turn as his thumbs massage my shoulders. I had thought the same myself, so I can’t find fault with him. My father, Emirus Culaine, was a man of many words. Given to bouts of soliloquy while fighting deadly foes, monologue while cooking dinner, and passionate singing in the shower, he had an exclamation for every event. Meanwhile, Jeal Culaine here said two words a month and kept everything inside that wasn’t words of world-shattering import or saucy quips. As my thoughts went on, I realized he had continued.

“But it could not be more apparent that you are. Beyond your immense talent for sorcery, sciences and warfare, the same beautiful artistic soul burns inside of you. Your power expresses itself in your very body language, and thus you waste no energy on words! At least, that's the explanation we shall go with henceforth. Truth be told, as long as you are happy, your proclivity for silence is unimportant."

Blood rushing to the tips of my ears alerted me to the fact that I was pleased at his compliments, much to my embarrassment. I mean, come on. Every kid wants to be praised by their dad, but when your dad is the kind of guy that gets hunted by "heroes" bent on justice and "righteousness", his praises about magic and warfare are…a little, you know, impressive. The fact that he always wins makes it doubly impressive. The redness of my ears spurred his smile into a passionate grin, and dad shook my shoulders a little.

“The time has been coming for a while now, and I’m sure you’re aware. I’ve lived quite a long time, and I don’t plan to retire from this life. Neither does your mother, so don’t give me that look.. She’s simply out getting stuff for dinner. Mmm, your mother’s biryani is….anyway. Sadly, my talent and powers are waning, and yours are growing by the hour. Right now, with these hands on your shoulders, I can say beyond a doubt that you could defeat me. A villain of circumstance could ask for no greater heir - and that’s not even touching on what a brilliant boy…no, a brilliant man you’ve become to your mother and father.” 

With his eyes shining, my own grew hot and wet. I swallowed hard, but dad’s hands didn’t leave my shoulders. He stroked them slowly with his thumbs. I idly noted how manicured his nails were, even with a bit of dried blood on them.

“I won’t do something so crass as tell my boy not to weep, but do dry those beautiful eyes. You got those wonderfully red and sharp things from your mother, and it’s quite like watching both of the most important people in my life cry at the same time.” 

The vexation in his voice was forced and humorous, so I laughed as the back of my hand cleared the tears from my eyes.

“At least you got my hair. Lucky you. I know it’s quite unrelated, but this,” Emirus shook his hair in his best attempt at a shampoo commercial as he spoke, “is what I got your mother with. I found her fighting off six meddlesome onmyouji in Japan and her first words after we felled them were ‘can I stroke your hair?' Turns out that no matter what, strangers in a strange land will always have their hair fawned over by pretty women.” 

I knew it wasn’t necessarily the time for family stories, but I let him continue. Something gnawed at the pit of my stomach - I was approaching the liminal border between this idyllic life and something altogether different. I felt as though I might never have a chance to hear this story, or any others, if I didn’t let my father continue.

“So of course, we sat there at the roadside for a few hours as she stroked my hair and talked. Their compatriots came, yelled passionately about ‘oni’, ‘yokai’ and ‘bakemono’ and I think there was some business with a Yatagarasu and a Kappa that they had ensnared - all very nasty things, but in the end, I toured the Japanese countryside for fifty years with your mother. Perhaps we’ll go back now.”

My face asked the question that almost left my lips.

“In your training, I detailed why the Culaine line has taken up sorcery and necromancy, no? We’ve taken the darkest arts into our hearts and been scorned for it. We’ve killed kings and common men to pursue our goals. More often than not, our enemies are those that society see as upstanding, righteous people, because we have no choice but to let their names remain pristine to hold this fragile world together. So why have we taken the untread path to prevail in the righteous deeds we need to do?”

I thought for a second before answering. Stupid things had popped into my head without reason, like “for fun?” and “because Jesus said it was cool?” and “free labor outside of government regulations?” but I waved them away. The fact that they seemed like serious choices to be selected from was slightly concerning, though. I was trying to downplay the fear growing in my heart.

"There's no other choice, really. There's things in the dark that don't bow to justice or conventional force. Things that corrupt men at the highest echelons of society. Things that shouldn't be. We do it to save the World."

"That's my boy."

My father’s face darkened as he slid his hand from my shoulders to cradle my face. It felt like a goodbye - like this is the last time I would gaze upon my family for a long time, if not forever. So, responding in kind, I placed my hands on Emirus Culaine’s strong, capable wrists, and held them gently. His eyes misted over, tears rushing out as he smiled bravely. This was tearing him apart, and so, it dug a dagger into my own breast.

“Save the World. Ironic that you say that, dear boy. When you were born, the Seal of the World broke. It was all chance, really. It could have been you, or it could have been someone ten thousand years down the family tree. It's something we've known about for the last five hundred years, but there was no way to...there was no way to know beforehand when someone like you would come into existence. You just…you just have so much potential, so much raw power that the First Layer of the World can’t suppress it’s existence, and so He shattered the Seal. From the Second Layer, demons have been appearing without a summoner for the last eighteen years. They’ve been trying to find you. I have not let them. I was determined to give you a normal childhood while preparing you, and I believe I’ve done it. But I made a mistake.”

My mind drifted back to the fight I had heard take place. Our “basement” was really my father’s magical Sanctum, warded from threats both terrestrial and spiritual. It was where our studies in combat and magic took place, and where I had spent most of my days lately. Then, the mistake…

“I left the wards down when we came back from Shanghai for an hour, as my energy was spent. I could have asked you to put them back up, but you were so focused on learning the Severing Way that I couldn’t bring myself to break your concentration. They found you. I am...sorry, child mine.” 

His words seemed strangely strangled in his throat as he fought to continue on. I'd never seen my father like this. My light. My hero. Consumed by fear and regret in this faltering moment.

"Soritoroth, King of Fire, and apparently the Master of the Second Layer. If he kills you and consumes your power, this world will be bathed in flame in the blink of an eye. If he doesn’t, well…” Dad’s faltering words indicated that the outcomes weren’t favorable if Soritoroth was allowed to roam free either way. The last week came together in my mind. My father’s grimories in various states of disarray. His behaviors. The constant nagging feeling, like something of vast importance being forgotten. His hands left my face and he straightened his verdant green tie, assuming that kingly air that threatened the world at the tip of a blade.

“Take Sarisa and go to the safehouse I showed you last month. Important things will be there. When you leave Sarisa’s, cast Xyrir into the earth. This will be the sign to your mother and I. We’ll finish our biryani and we’ll have a nice chat with the dreadful door-to-door salesmen that are demons of the Second Layer. We can buy the time necessary for you to bury your presence from His sight.” 

I nodded dumbly, even as my hand fished in the cool fridge for another apple. Placing it into his hand, I said what might be the last words to my father. My kind, cruel, brilliant, wicked, scheming, loving, circumstantial villain of a father. For the man who had become a demon to save the world by slaying an Archduke in late June of 1914, he seemed quite small. Human. I loved him more for it.

“I love you, dad. Tell mom I love her. Let’s have enchiladas when we come back. I'll cook this time.” 

This kind of banal exchange is one we had regularly. It was mundane. Painfully normal. I think both of us needed it, though. Emirus Culaine laughed heartily as he opened Wounds in the world, pulling grimories and weapons out and setting them on the kitchen island.

"Hah! I do love your cooking, my prodigal son. I love you too, Jeal. Now go, and slay that damnable Soritoroth for thinking he could lay one misbegotten finger on you! You are the only villain who can save this beautiful world!” 

My father’s laughter was full of mirth as he grasped an ornate flamberge from another dimension, leaning it against the counter. In his left hand was the apple I’d given him, half eaten. I saved this image in my mind, tracing every line of it.

Drawing a line in the air before me, the flesh of reality parted. My lines through this world were like my father’s, but every sorcerer’s magic was just a little different. Where his were like the fabric of night superimposed on reality, mine was significantly more…harsh. Rather than a glittery, glitzy purple stain, mine was a black wound on the skin of the world, edged in dark red. A void. This was the Severing Way - a Master level magic that allowed the caster to cut through the “distance” between themselves and their target. Their target could be anywhere - five feet away, or another dimension. Stepping through the void, I appeared in Sarisa’s room.

She screamed, of course. Well, more of an exclamation than a scream.

Her composure was regained amazingly quick after a mild verbal slap to my face for Severing my way into her room unannounced. Well, it was more for kinda…blowing her off for the last week to study with dad. I smiled, but she felt the anxiety in it, and nodded. She knew things about me, always knew. She knew the secrets I thought I locked away, and accepted them. So of course she’d pieced together that something was happening this week, and this was the culmination - me, showing off a Master level magic by Severing into her locked and warded room. I wouldn’t do that unless I had to, so she also made the logical leap that something was very, very wrong.

Sarisa was also a sorcerer - though her family wasn’t quite into the dark arts and spooky jookie like us. For the moment, Sarisa lived alone, as her family was out of town on what they referred to as “Magister Business.” Always hated that term. Magister. British sorcerers had to be so different. ‘Sorcerer is a term of antiquity,  a magister is someone who commands the proper respect from mastering magica-’ blah blah blah, oh my god, shut up. Also, this is just personal preference, but those that call themselves warlocks can get railed by a manticore. Either they’re actually a warlock and they’re summoning Second Layer beings, or they’re someone who wants to be different without understanding the nuances. Both are equally bad. Smiling again at these thoughts, I followed Sarisa into the walk-in closet.

Grabbing clothes from a set of hangers that dangled lazily, her red hair cascaded down her back in loose curls, ending at the small of her back. It bounced and swayed as she did the “pants shuffle”, rocking her hips side to side to tug the jeans up quickly, and indicated that I should sweep her hair up as she went to throw a crisp black button up over her white tanktop. My hands responded automatically, gathering her hair and sweeping it clean of the incoming shirt. We’d known each other since we were eating dirt, so neither of us had the idiocy to be hung up on things like seeing each other in our underwear or helping each other get dressed real quick. Slipping on her flats, she regarded me with a worried expression, her grey eyes keen and inquisitive.

“We have to go, don’t we?”

I nodded.

“Is it that safehouse you showed me a couple weeks ago? Yeah, guess it would be. Are you…you doing okay, Jeal?”

Another nod.

Sarisa’s soft hand slapped my cheek lightly in reproach. I faked injury, staring at her face with what I imagined was my best “wounded puppy” look. Speaking from a purely objective standpoint, Sarisa was ridiculously pretty. Her skin was fair, decorated with freckles, her grey eyes were stormy and easy to get lost in. Her nose was on the small side, with a gentle curve, and a small scar accented her left nostril. High cheekbones and a somewhat strong jawline gave her a severe profile that made her look regal and unapproachable, but undeniably gorgeous. Objectively. I’m not saying this as an option. I have no personal feelings on the matter. At all.

“Don’t lie to your friends, and especially not your elders. Dickhead.”

The voice was warm and kind despite the words. I wonder which part was directed at my nod and which was directed at the thoughts that came after, since she could always read me like an open book. Favoring her with a shy smile, I went to carve away at reality before stopping suddenly as I remembered the only real restriction of Severing.

You can’t bring another living, sentient being with you. Their body’s own, unique magical field would create oscillating instabilities that destroyed the Wound. A magical item’s magical field could be muted, but not a living being’s. It’s part of why every sorcerer’s “magic” was a little different. Like a fingerprint.

“Did you almost crush us to the size of an atom by forgetting something important?” 

Sarisa’s voice was playful and mocking. She knew the tenants as well as I did and wouldn’t have stepped in, but that didn’t mean she was above laughing at my mistakes. I cleared my throat and nodded at the doorway to her room.

“Come on, downstairs. Looks like we’re walking.” 

I followed Sarisa down the steps and out the front door, watching as she locked the house up. Lost in thought, I helped her apply runes of warding and misdirection. As that was finished, I dropped into a low stance, using my thumbnail to cut a deep gash my palm, freeing a smattering of blood that dripped steadily onto the ground.

With preternatural speed, I drew the rune for Xyrir in the asphalt of the road and slammed a wave of magical energy into it. It glowed in that curious black-ruby-void hue that was my magic for a moment before it crackled into life in an electric red. The asphalt swallowed the rune and a line of red electric fire arced towards my home, some few miles off. Xyrir was a Blood Rune designed by necromancers to expel all Second Layer phenomenon from an intended targeted space. The drawbacks were that the rune had to be absolutely perfect in shape and that the blood must be freshly spilled from the caster, making it nigh-impossible to cast in combat. Though the potency would be severely weakened by the miles separating Sarisa’s house and mine, I was glad to provide just a little help to my dad.

Finding that Sarisa’s hand had come to hold mine some time ago despite the blood, we set off down the road towards the safehouse. Thoughts whirled inside of my head, and went unvoiced as usual. Anxiety rose in my chest, but I pushed it down, attempting to lock it away. It wouldn’t help me now. I think she knew this - she always knew, after all - as she gripped my slippery fingers tightly in her own.

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: October 17 - 31, 2018

Time to break out another long list! I've been purging my watch later playlist and doing a good job at it. But we're not gonna ramble on with that stuff, we're gonna ramble on about music. Starting out with the honorable mentions.

Mono - After You Comes the Flood Clouds - Forever and a Day Holy Shire - The Legendary Shepherds of the Forest Onsetcold - Los Angeles The Monster Inside - Numb Sylvaine - L'Appel Du Vide Mother Feather - Snakebite Haken - Puzzle Box Marina and the Diamonds - Froot Nego do Borel - Me Solta feat. DJ Rennan da Penha Amaranthe - Countdown Aliases - What's Left For Us? Winter in Eden - With Intent Lucrecia - Femto Solborn - Crestfallen Once - Distorted Smiles feat. Shir-Ran Yinon (violin) Alina Lesnik - Dark Waltz (Hayley Westenra cover) Empyrean Throne - Chaosborne Marcela Bovio - Scientist Elyose - La Veuve Noire Victorius - Razorblade Raptor Tasters - Please Destroy This World Arkentype - Ashes and Dirt

And now for the plenty main obsessions.

1. Arcane Roots - Before Me

This is such an interesting way to open an album. This is such an ambient track and reminds me of something by Sigur Ros for some reason. It's so beautiful and peaceful. I'm definitely am gonna listen to this album.

2. Nibiru - The Sorrow's Song

Spaceuntravel. The vibe of this song is what got me hooked on it. It has some metalcore vibes to it, but it's definitely more on the prog side in my opinion. The singer's voice is so raw and intense and compliments the instrumentals really well.

3. Persona - Invidia

This was one of the songs that really stood out to me on Metamorphosis. I'm also glad they chose to turn one of the songs in which their singer did some screams, because her screams are very impressive. The instrumentals on this track are so epic and chaotic. So much yes.

4. Beyond the Black - Scream for Me

The choirs. Those are what truly sold me on this track. Well, they're not like typical choir bits, but they're still choir-like. Anyways, this track is my second favorite off the album. It's so fun and packs so much energy.

5. We are the Catalyst - Predators

This is their latest single and I absolutely love it. I am obsessed with the singer's headdress in the video. It has a bit of a djenty vibe to it which I love, but it still holds true to their sound which sets them apart from other alternative metal bands.

6. Sound Storm - To the Stars

This is their newest song and features two new singers, one of which is Chiara Tricarico who was originally part of Temperance and was with Teodasia for a short time. I'm so glad to hear she's back to taking the lead in a band again, and this is such a great track to welcome her back to. She fucking killed it. And their new male singer, Andrea, is also a great fit and can unleash some monstrous growls. Definitely check this track out.

7. Once - The Sins of Saints

Holy tits. This is my favorite off After Earth. The album is absolutely amazing and I love how whimsical it is, but this track stands out so much. It's so dramatic and powerful. The choirs are everything. You also get a great feel for Alina's range here. I wish someone would post the lyrics online somewhere, because I need to do a vocal cover of this and soon.

8. Synlakross - Dark Seed

This is such a fun track from these guys. They're a female fronted melo-death metal band that I've known about for a while now. Their front woman has such a great voice and her growls and screams are absolutely insane. You can hear that insanity so well on this track.

9. Serenity in Murder - Infact Bellum

Found this track after rummaging through my abandoned first YouTube channel I had YEARS ago. They're a female fronted blackened symphonic death metal band from Japan that I'm happy to report that don't follow the typical mainstream J-metal formula and sound. The sound of this track is really fresh and is so great. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from them. But it is sad that their monstrous front woman has parted ways with them very recently.

10. Involvers - Ghost

Surprisingly enough, this is the last Spaceuntravel find this session. Anyways, this indie rock track has a post rock vibe to it that I adore. It's very ambient and such a great chill song. A super lovely track.

11. In Element - The Innocence

Randomly found these guys on YouTube one day and I really dig the singer's cleans. Their a melo-death metal band and I think I'll check more out from them in the future. This song has a bit of a prog vibe to it and is pretty atmospheric at times, which is really refreshing since it can be difficult to find melo-death tracks that don't sound like every other melo-death track out there.

12. Elyose - De Tout Là-haut

Reconnexion is a great album, and this song is the one that stood out the most to me. The electronic elements in the chorus are so cool and the vocalizing in the choruses are absolutely beautiful. It's such a wonderful track from such an epic band. I still can't get over that their tiny woman of a singer can pack such a powerful voice.

13. Amaranthe - 365

This quickly became an obsession for me. It's such a catchy track and instantly became a favorite off of Helix for me. It's such a fun track to just jam out to and to drive to. Hell, I think Helix in general is a great driving album. But this track just packs the perfect amount of energy for an Amaranthe single.

14. The Hardkiss - 00:00

This is the first song that I know I've heard off their new album and I absolutely adore it. You get such a great feel for Yulia's range on this track. It's so beautiful and just helps to further solidify these guys as my third favorite band of all time. I can't wait to finally get around to listening to the new album, because I just know it's gonna have many more amazing tracks like this one on it.

And that is it! There are probably gonna be more long lists next month, so prepare. But hey, longer lists mean more great music to check out and jam out to!

[wordflurries]

2021 in metal

So, 2021. It's not easy to put this list together this year. When I look back at the new music I heard this year, it's sobering how little of it I really enjoyed. I'd guess that I never listened to 20-30% of it after I bought it, and another equal fraction got listened to once or twice. That leaves something like half of it that I enjoyed enough to be worth the cost and the hard drive space.

It's not that I don't enjoy music, or enjoy metal. The things that I liked, I really liked. (They didn't exactly match up with what others liked, but that's fine.) I think it's a combination of Bandcamp retail therapy and the constant urge to "keep up" with new music in the desperate attempt to find the next thing that's going to bring that grin to my face. The taste of the new is always available, but the taste that is acquired lasts longer. Or something.

This isn't really a new thing for me. Looking back at the last few years of year-end summaries, about a third of the albums mentioned got quietly forgotten. There is more good music out there than I can possibly appreciate. This is a problem of abundance, and while abundance is easier to handle than scarcity, it's still a problem. Maybe the thing to do is put myself on a budget, force myself to choose and appreciate. Maybe the thing to do is climb out of my big stupid head and appreciate what's in front of me.

On to my favorite metal albums this year.

Honorable mention

First Fragment - Gloire Eternelle Every year I have that "this isn't really my thing, but I loved this" album. Tech death isn't really my thing, but I loved this. An excess of flamenco-playing death metal with all speeds sets to ludicrous.

Gloire Éternelle by First Fragment

Thron - Pilgrim Blackened death metal with some smoke and shadow around the edges.

"Pilgrim" by THRON

Iotunn - Access All Worlds Big epic metal with huge clean vocals and grandiose horizons.

Access All Worlds by IOTUNN

Eteritus - Rotten Transition Filthy high-gain death metal with a little bit of groove jammed in the cracks.

Rotten Transition by ETERITUS

Helslave - From The Sulphur Depths More high-gain HM-2 death metal, my favorite of the subgenre this year.

From The Sulphur Depths by Helslave

Top five

5. Replicant - Malignant Reality This is what happens when someone sticks groove metal and dissonant death metal in one of those mad scientist boxes, then runs a billion volts through it. It is jagged and filthy in all the best ways.

Malignant Reality (Dissonant Death Metal) by REPLICANT (US)

4. Paranorm - Empyrean Late 1980's Bay Area thrash with 21st century precision and black metal vocals.

Empyrean by Paranorm

3. Netherbird - Arete This is nothing special, quality meloblack, but certainly not groundbreaking. It's comfort food, and it just sounded right.

Arete by NETHERBIRD

2. Vokonis - Odyssey Psychedelic doom, with organ and heavy bits, and a stunningly pretty album cover. Check out "Blackened Wings"

Odyssey by Vokonis

1. Black Sites - Untrue This is the album that I enjoyed the most this year. Solid tightly-crafted metal with conviction and heft. Check out my song of the year "Call It By Its Name".

Untrue by Black Sites

Old stuff

I check out a lot of stuff at the end of the year from other people's best of the year lists. There were several albums from 2020 that would make a year-end list if I had heard them earlier.

Bear Mace - Charred Field of Slaughter

Crunchy death metal from the guy who brought you Black Sites above. It even has a song about bears!

HELL:ON - Scythian Stamm

Ukranian death metal with Slavic folk touches and lots of fun little extras. Check out "My Testament".

Svartkonst - Black Waves

Blackened death with a wide palette. Check out the last song, "Black Waves".

Going back even further, I discovered Death this year. Later Death is every bit as good as old metalheads say it is, and it was far ahead of its time when it was released. I also enjoyed Black Breath's combination of HM-2 Swedeath and hardcore. Speaking of Swedeath, Dismember's first album Like an Ever Flowing Stream holds up remarkably well. Entombed was my gateway to the sound, but this makes a pretty fine alternate portal.

[play-these-heavens-one-more-time]

what's your favorite John F interview ?

hello!!!!!

wow, it’s been a while since someone asked me a question about John… this is like puting on your old favorite sweater haha 

My favorite interviews in magazines are the ones during the Stadium Arcadium  era mainly because he sounds like so at peace and happy with what he’s achieved on the album and it kind of translates in his personal life too… so I like that vibe of state of love and trust in those interviews. And I also like some of the interviews during the release of The Empyrean. Again, I feel like it’s a very interesting moment for him and it’s a good chance to learn more about how his mind works (?) in a way… Idk, I feel like during that year he doesn’t only talk about his “musical” influences but you can also get a little bit of insight into his “life” inspirations, fears and motivations. 

and If I had to choose a video it would have to be The heart is a drum machine. I think it’s brilliant…. it’s a perfect summary of who he is… it’s super nerdy, funny and full of musical references and his adorable weirdness.

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Silver Torches

With some time spent in the Globes and as a touring musician for Perfume Genius and David Bazan, multi-instrumentalist songwriter Erik Walters has come into his own as Silver Torches. His Americana stylings build on their indie influences and Pacific Northwest roots while Walters responds to this distinct time with a personal vision. Aided by guests like Greg Leisz, Noah Gunderson, and Courtney Marie Andrews (as well as a fuller band), Walters has refined his sound for second album Let It Be a Dream. At times, Silver Torches drifts toward country; other times they're one step away from a pop album (which previous track “Woman in Rust” might have suggested). The disc maintains a steady atmosphere around the flexible band, letting Walters's strong melodies and careful lyrics define his work. While Walters might still be assembling a steady band (or not), he's found his place with this release. For this Listed entry, Walters connects his listening with personal moments, saying, “I’m going for specific memories or feelings that certain records give me or remind me of. Figured something anecdotal would be more interesting.”

Big Star – #1 Record

This record will always remind me of living in Spokane, driving around town listening to records because there was nothing else to do. I'd ride around with my friend Nathan, who owned this big Buick sedan, listening to Bowie, Pixies, The Stones, The Beatles, lots of Weezer. He introduced me to Big Star. Thirteen is one of my favorite songs. I still always skip past The India Song, though.

Wilco – A Ghost Is Born

I sat next to my friend Cole on a long bus ride we took to a jazz festival in high school and he played me this record. I didn't get it. I liked Summerteeth better because it was brighter and more pop, not realizing how dark that record really is. When I finally dove into Yankee Hotel Foxtrot my whole world changed. That album made me want to make records, but A Ghost Is Born has been the record I come back to most often. It's still exciting to me. So raw, so dynamic and bold.

David Bowie – Blackstar

The first time I heard Blackstar was driving back from a show somewhere out of town. Everyone was talking and the stereo wasn't great so I could kind of hear it. I remember thinking it was pretty weird and the drums were cool. It may have been that night, or the next, when I was sitting up in my living room and saw the tweets pouring in. When I saw the New York Times report it I knew it was real. My girlfriend and I listened to the record the next day at home and were so moved by it. Bowie creates another world inside this record. You put it on and step inside a dark, chaotic, beautiful place.

Bon Iver – 22, A Million

I was on the east coast for a short run of shows with my friend Kris last fall. This had just come out and we listened front to back at least once a day on our drives. We had a rental car and were making our way out of New York when we decided to park somewhere we weren't supposed to so we could make a bathroom stop. We were gone maybe ten minutes, confident the car would be alright where we left it. When we came back our car was gone. 2 hours and a few hundred dollars later, we were back in business and had 22, A Million on the speakers right away. NYPD tow trucks don't mess around.

Refused – The Shape Of Punk To Come

It was the crack of dawn in Denver and I climbed into the passenger seat of the van on our way to play SXSW in Austin with my old band, back in 2009 or '10. We were about to embark on the long drive when our friend, Ben, who was traveling with us, put on this record, super loud, as the sun was coming up. It cured my hangover and blew my mind. One of the best shows I've seen, too.

Foals – Total Life Forever

I'd moved back to Spokane and was working at the now defunct and sorely missed Empyrean, an all ages venue downtown. I would listen to the first half of this record on my way to work and the second half on my way home on the nights I didn't go to Baby Bar after my shift. My favorite moment on the album is the end of 'Spanish Sahara" when the drums come in with that straight beat after a long build, and just rides on it for a while. It feels so damn good, every time.

Portishead – Third

When this record came out I played it almost every day. I was living with my band in the Central District neighborhood. We had a weird hexagonal shelf where our turn table lived that lit up and had a disco ball inside of it that I'd turn on when I played records. I remember putting it on in the mornings, making coffee, having a cigarette on the porch with the window open, listening to the speakers from the living room. This record and PJ Harvey's White Chalk give me a similar, foreboding feeling. When I saw Portishead in Seattle and I'm pretty sure they blew the subs at the venue when they played "Machine Gun". I thought it was fantastic.

Autolux – Future Perfect

I was in a band called The Globes that formed in high school and was a thing until 2012 or so. We only made one record, but were fortunate enough to make it with John Goodmanson, (Blonde Redhead, Unwound, Death Cab For Cutie) and had it released on Barsuk. We were all obsessed with Future Perfect, especially the drum work by Carla Azar. Every time I put this one on I'm reminded of long drives in the van, long days in our basement rehearsal room, late nights with friends listening to records, Rainer beer, dive bars and bad PAs.

Steve Reich – Music For 18 Musicians

It was the middle of winter and I was driving across the state with my friend Marcus in a blizzard. We were in the band van, which was his family's Ford Excursion, which is very heavy. Even with four wheel drive and all of the weight we were sliding, and to make things worse, visibility was nonexistent. We couldn't see the lines of the road, and could barely see 10 feet in front of us. Being young and stupid we persevered, almost rear ended a semi, had some other close calls, but were kept focused by Steve Reich's "Music For 18 Musicians". It is truly an incredible piece and musical feat, beautiful and mesmerizing. I'll never forget getting lost in the sound with the snow coming down in our high beams against this blue/black, endless background. Surreal.

Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavillion

This album will always make me think of a very specific time in my life. I was interning at KEXP in Seattle, I met my girlfriend, I was getting to know the city, myself, learning, touring, exploring. It was a really fun, good time. The lyrics on this record are smart, the melodies are brilliant, and under all of the crazy production and sounds are really great songs. I played this a lot and still do.

[judgment1964]

Kind of Blue was the first jazz album I consciously listened to. Everybody made a big deal about it (it was ranked in the top 20 of Rolling Stone’s Greatest 500 Albums of All-Time, which I actually gave a shit about back then) and I figured I should tackle it. I was a fairly open-minded listener and thought I’d get into jazz through it, like everybody else seemed to. But that wasn’t in my cards. I listened to Kind of Blue a few times over the course of a few months (last.fm puts my first listen on September 5, 2011) and I thought it was pretty benign wallpaper music. It had a neat vibe but they were just playing a bunch of notes, and they weren’t doing it in a very exciting way. Most of the tracks started with catchy bits, then meandered a bunch. Who cares? Not me, not then. If that’s all jazz was I wanted little part of it. Understand where I was coming from at the time. I was in the throws of Beatlemania, and artists like Simon & Garfunkel, M.I.A., and Public Enemy were my bread and butter. It was before my experiences taught me that sometimes, as a listener, you have to meet the music halfway. As you can guess, I eventually did warm up to jazz. It wasn’t through Kind of Blue though. Albums like John Coltrane’s Giant Steps, Sonny Rollins’ Way Out West and Saxophone Colossus, Herbie Hancock’s Empyrean Isles and even the later Miles Davis release Bitches Brew did. Most of these were higher energy and all-around caught my interest more heavily. By this time I had also grown more appreciative of the jazz aesthetic and the different sonic qualities of instruments. My interest in jazz really took off, and my music listening has never been the same since. It is, by far, my favorite kind of music. 

Now I consider Kind of Blue a classic, with personal reservations. I love it for its emotional subtlety and its high quality, very individualized solos. Every player has their own voice that is memorable and distinct from their colleagues beyond the different mechanics and timbres of their instruments. This is one of the core concepts of modern jazz and the album captures that incredibly well. If I’m in the right mood I will enjoy it as much as any jazz recording ever recorded. Yet due to my history with the album I never recommend it to people as their first jazz album, even though it is considered the canonical gold standard recommendation. I fear a cursory listen of Kind of Blue might fail to impart the excitement of jazz to new listeners, just like it did for me. People used to more immediately rewarding genres of music might assume that it is nothing more than glorified ambient music or, even worse, dig the shallow high of jazz’s vaguely intellectual aesthetic and walk away thinking that is its appeal. I think it is not.

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: October 17 - 31, 2017

It's that time again. Time to share my current music obssessions for the second half of the month. So let's see them honorable mentions.

Sinistro - Nothing Sacred (Paradise Lost cover) Kadavar - Tribulation Serenity - Lionheart Body Count - This is Why We Ride Collapsion - Dethroned The Great Discord - Cadence Type O Negative - Wolf Moon Persona - Invidia The Dark Element - Here's to You Metalite - Nightmare Sleeping Romance - Where the Light is Bleeding Lorde - Perfect Places Hanging Garden - Our Dark Design feat. Nika Kalliojarvi Tarja - O Come, O Come, Emmanuel Goldenhall - King Under the Mountain AfterTime - Masquerade (Through the Facade) Sunterra - Shadow in the Dark Beyond God - Stronger Lamb - What Makes Us Human Suodeth - Siecle Des Lumieres Brighter Than a Thousand Suns - What's Inside Cher - Walls Conspiria - Prophecy of Doom Witchcraft - В объятиях темноты Qveen Herby - Wifey Inviolate - Broken Cycle Silentium - Frostnight Abonos - U Krosnjama Abonosa Voices of Destiny - The Great Hunt Crystal Gates - Shadowborn

And now for the real ones.

1) Pale Waves - Television Romance

This was a random YT discovery and am so into it. It's such an cute song and their front woman is so adorable. There's something about it that sounds so nostalgic to me and I think that's why I love it so much. Like it sounds like something out of the 2000's. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from them.

2) IAMFIRE - Beamer

I came across this song through spaceuntravel's YT channel and was shocked to hear sludge/stoner metal on their channel. Most of the stuff they post is alternative metal, nu metal and hard rock bands, so hearing this was a pleasant surprise. I really dig this track and the overall vibe of it.

3) Butcher Babies - Headspin

This is such a fun song. I'm so hyped for Lilith and can't wait to give it a listen. So far it sounds like a bit more of a progressive direction, but still keeping true to their thrash roots. Even though this song is a bit softer, it's still a great jam. Also the video is wonderful and threw me off that it apparently stars two porn stars, but then again, Heidi and Carla worked with Play Boy in the past, so they probably got some connections.

4) Sharon Needles - Battle Axe

Sharon is back with a new single and this is a fun one. It's not my favorite, but it's catchy enough for it to become an obsession of mine. I don't think any of her music will ever compare to the works of PG-13, but it's still great to hear good tunes from her. And I LOVE Phi Phi's cameo in the video.

5) Ebony Ark - If Only

I finally decided to check out more from them and I instantly got obsessed with this song. It's such a great symphonic prog-power track. It's so catchy and the bridge is absolutely beautiful. Beatriz has such a beautiful and strong voice. It's a bummer they're no longer together, but hopefully Beatriz will pop back up sometime soon.

6) The Longing - How Do You Know

I discovered this band through Facebook a while back and have been digging a lot of their music so far. It's strange to me that I've found a symphonic-ish gothic metal band from the States that I actually enjoy (a lot of symphonic metal bands from the States don't really appeal to me). The singer's "acting" in the bridge is very odd, but the song itself is what's amazing.

7) Vvon Dogma I - Communion

Chaoth's new project has finally released its debut single and it's wonderful. It's far from being an obsurdly chaotic masterpiece that was Unexpect, but it's still amazing nonetheless. It's a bit avant-garde, but more structured. The blending of dubstep and an atmospheric voice with the djenty instrumentals gives the music such a cool and interesting vibe. By the way, Chaoth's voice is wonderful and his bass solos are still beautiful as always (as they should, since it has nine strings).

8) Akoma - Change of Propensity

I got around to listening to Revangels and this is definitely my favorite off the album. So powerful, dramatic and beautiful. I just wish someone would post the lyrics somewhere, because I REALLY want to do a vocal cover of it. The chorus is just so intense and full of so much raw power that it's absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.

9) Vuur - Freedom ~ Rio

Of all the singles they've dropped, this one is the prettiest. Anekke really gets into her higher register with this track. It's such a beautiful and uplifting song. I can really see this one being not only a fan favorite, but also a great song to hear live.

10) Climatic Terra - Misery feat. Ines Vera-Ortiz (ex-Lumine Criptica)

I came across this song when checking to see what all projects Ines has been featured on over the years. This is such a great and beautiful power metal track. I really hope she joins a band again soon and releases a full length album with them. She has such a gorgeous voice and I'd love to hear some new material from her.

11) Empyrean Throne - Chaosborne

The title track of Empyrean Throne's debut album is absolutely epic. After listening to Chaosborne, it's easy to say that these guys are heavily influenced by Dimmu Borgir and I love it. This song is such a ballbuster and their front man shows off the more beautiful side of his cleans on this track. I highly recommend you guys to check this band out.

12) From the Arc - I Swear

Another band I discovered through spaceuntravel, From the Arc are an alternative metal band. This track is such a great jam. Honeybee has such a lovely voice. It always makes me extremely happy to see black women in the metal scene. It reminds people that metal is for everyone and isn't just white people music. Definitely am gonna check out more from them.

13) Magion - Body's Betrayal

I watched an old interview that their front woman did and she mentioned that this was one of her favorites off their then new album to perform, so naturally I had to check it out. it's such a gorgeous and dramatic track. It's sad that they are no longer together, but at least Myrthe is still active in the metal scene with Scenario II.

14) St. Vincent - Los Ageless

I came across this song when I saw a gifset on tumblr made of clips from this song's video. The video is aesthetic goals af and the song itself is so much fun. It's rather catchy and wonderful to jam to. The video is so cool and pretty. Definitely am gonna check out more from them.

15) La-Ventura - Song for an Idiot

I rekindled my love for this track thanks to my Facebook memories. This band is so underrated and wonderful. Their front woman has such a great voice that's different to hear in the gothic metal scene. This song has such a great hook and the chorus is so powerful even though it's so simple.

16) Elliot Root - 10,000

I discovered this band when I went to Criminal Records (a record store in Atlanta) and saw their debut album, Conjure, for $2. The cover art got me intrigued, so I added this song to watch later so I could check them out when I got home. I instantly fell in love with it. I'm not the biggest fan of indie music, but this is gorgeous. So gorgeous that I went back less than a week later to pick up the album. Their front man has such a lovely voice and the instrumentals complement it very well. I highly recommend you guys to check this album out, it's amazing.

That's it for October! Now go enjoy these tunes!

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: August 1 - 16, 2017

Sorry for being late with this one. I've been so busy this past week and have been finding it difficult to get any free time. But I'm here now, so here we go with the honorable mentions!

Let Them Fall - Wintersun In the Silence - Beneath These Falling Leaves Absynth Aura - The Fire in My Eyes Soulspell Metal Opera - Super Black Hole To Shed Skin - B.P.D. Lumsk - Om Hundrede Aar Er Alting Glemt Cinnamun Beloved - Together The Anix - Vanished Victorians - Aristocrats' Symphony Widowmaker - The Nihilist Devilment - JudasStein Bloodparade - The Betrayal Loots to You Hey Violet - Guys My Age Yousei Teikoku - Kuusou Mesorogiwi Amorphis - Nightbird's Song Chelsea Wolfe - Vex feat. Aaron Turner (Isis) Leprous - Stuck Vulture Industries - Strangers Beyon-d-lusion - Binary Me Hollowstone - Battle Cry Adore Delano - Negative Nancy Aeverium - Hunted Almora - Tılsım Immortalis - Harbor Haven Enter Shikari - Live Outside Scenario II - Hysteria

Now here are the main obsessions.

1) Aura's Seers - Without Looking Back

I discovered this band through their front woman, Sara, since she was featured on The Autist's The Coldest Sun album. I love the blend of the djent and doom vibes in this track. Also the video is so pretty. Definitely give this a listen.

2) We are the Fallen - Tear the World Down

I rekindled my love for this track. It's so good and I forgot just how good it was. I really need to listen to this album again. It's been too long. The symphonic element blends so well with the instrumentals on this track and is so beautiful.

3) Sheer - Vultures

I've been following this band on Facebook for years and they have finally released their debut EP, The Vertigo of Icarus. They're a hard rock band with a bit of a symphonic metal vibe to their sound. I'm definitely looking forward to listening to the EP, because this song is amazing. Such a great song to jam out to.

4) Xandria - Queen of Hearts Reborn

This isn't one of my favorites off Theater of Dimensions, but it's still a great song. I love that it shows off some of the theatrical side of Dianne's voice. It's a wonderful track and the video is great. I've said it once and I'll say it again, Dianne's got legs for days. I REALLY hope I can go see them again in Atlanta in October.

5) Diary About My Nightmares (D.A.M.N.) - Vermachtnis

I rekindled my love for this track. This band is so good and so underrated. It's a bit of a bummer that they're no longer together, especially since I was finally starting to listen to more of their stuff. But this song here is an epic death metal ballbuster of a track.

6) Visions of Atlantis - Lost (2016)

This popped up on my Facebook memories and I fell in love with it all over again. Cleme is such a great fit for them. It has a new flare to it since they have new singers, but it's still just as good as the original. Even though Cleme isn't as dramatic of an opera singer as Nicole was, she's still an amazing fit for the band and I can't wait to hear their upcoming album.

7) Dawn of Destiny - Another Pain

I came across this track when they shared a live version on their Facebook and decided to check out the studio version. This song was stuck in my head for a couple of days, but it was only but a particular riff. It's such a great song and I'm glad that they're still pumping out music. I really need to listen to more of their newer stuff.

8) Myrkur - Ulvinde

I'm glad that I've decided to try to keep up with this band, because I am loving everything they've released so far in line of their new album. I'm loving the atmospheric black metal vibe with hints of folk metal intwined with it kind of sound of theirs. It's such a great song to just chill to.

9) Sonata Nocturna - Hatefull

I decided to check out more from this band, but there's not much out there. They only have a demo and an EP and are no longer together. But I did decide to check this song out and I really love it. It's gothic metal with a bit of doom vibe to it. It's not doomy enough to label it doom metal, but it's getting there. Anyways, I really like it and want to listen to the few other songs they have.

10) H.E.R. - Gone Away

I came across this song one day when I was watching my friend's Snapchat story and was immediately intrigued, so I checked it out and fell in love. It's a bit trip-hop-ish and I'm really digging it. Definitely am gonna check out more from them.

11) Empyrean Throne - Sed Nomini Tuo Da Gloriam

This band is quickly becoming a new favorite extreme/black metal band of mine. There's just something about them that's so epic. This track is definitely a ballbuster and the video is pretty cool. So hyped for their upcoming album.

12) Pentakill - Tear of the Goddess

I discovered this song through a Facebook page that I can't remember at the moment, but it said that it featured Noora of Battle Beast, so I knew I had to check it out. I'm personally am not a fan of League of Legends, but this track is really great. It's different hearing Noora sing a song in which she doesn't sound super crazy and a bit more chilled, but it's still very much her. Definitely digging this track.

13) Charli XCX - Boys

I stumbled upon this song through YT one day and became obsessed. It's such a simple and cute song that suits me very well as of late. Always thinking about boys. I also love the fact the video features a wide array of different kinds of guys. I probably won't listen to anything else from her, but I really like this one.

14) Dunderbeist - More Me

There's something about this song that is just absolutely epic. It doesn't seem very special, but there's something about it that I am in love with. Maybe it's the vibe of the chorus? I don't know, but what I do know is that this song is wonderful.

15) Exit Eden - Incomplete (Backstreet Boys cover)

Honestly, I wasn't expecting much from this particular cover, but yet again, they blew it out of the water and fucking slayed it! Cleme looks absolutely STUNNING in this video! I would say that I can't wait to hear more from the album, but I already have a copy and am absolutely in love with it. ANYWAYS, go check this cover out. It's so beautiful.

Hope you guys enjoyed this list! I'm excited to bring this series back to my YT channel next month. ANYWAYS, the list for the second half of this month is looking pretty good so far, so definitely keep your eyes out for it!

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: July 1  - 16, 2017

This is probably gonna be the last long list for a minute since I've been purging my watch later playlist. But hey, that only means I have more music for you guys to check out! Also I've been doing weekly Current Music Obsessions on my IG stories on Tuesdays, so definitely check those out to hear a quick snippet of about six songs a week! Anyways, let's get into the honorable mentions.

Gravesend - Bleed Me and Ocean Adna - Closure Mass Sky Raid - Closer Dim7 - Adorned (Insidiously) feat. Chela Rhea Harper Anastacia - Left Outside Alone Skies Collide - Glasshouse Stream of Passion & Amanda Somerville - Run Away (live) Ego Fall - Wind the Horn Adagio - The Ladder Vyces - Nocturnal Sorronia - Tear You Down Anthriel - Siren's Song The Spider Accomplice - Atmosphere The Hardkiss - Dance with Me We are the Catalyst - One More Day Tesseract - Eclipse Insatia - Memory of a Sapphire Orpheus Omega - Echoes Through Infinity The Charm the Fury - Weaponized Myrkur - Maneblot Snow White Blood - Shadows of Our Yesterdays Archspire - Involuntary Doppelganger Lions Den - Rise from Nothing Isis - Ghost Key Cellar Darling - The Hermit Bent Knee - Terror Bird

Not too too many of them this time. So here on the many obsessions.

1) Vetrar Draugurinn - Into the Black Light (Ghost Brigade cover)

This is one of those songs that is so simple, but for some reason you obsess over it. It's so hard for me to think of something to write about it besides the fact that I love it. I also listened to the original version by Ghost Brigade to compare them and I prefer this version, mainly because I love Marjan's voice so much.

2) Leprous - From the Flame

This is some proggy goodness right here. It's such a great song to chill to, but it's also pretty catchy. I kept finding myself singing the chorus randomly throughout the day. It's such a great track and the singer has such a pretty voice. I really need to listen to more from them.

3) Cellar Darling - Avalanche

This song is so simple, but is so catchy and makes such a huge impression on you with how it's executed. Such an amazing, beautiful and catchy track. I'm beyond hyped to listen to more from their debut album.

4) Orden Ogan - Fields of Sorrow

This is the first song that I've ever heard from them and I am in love. Such an amazing and beautiful power metal track. The chorus is so good and leaves such a huge impression. So good. I'm definitely gonna check out more from them.

5) Epica - The Solace System

This song is absolutely epic. It's a continuation of the story that is told in Universal Death Squad and I'm thinking that The Solace System EP is going to be just that and I can't wait. I know A LOT of people hate the video, but I really like it. I've always enjoyed videos that have gone in this sort of direction.

6) Cyclocosmia - Street Spirit (Radiohead cover)

This cover is absolutely gorgeous. It starts out rather simple, but then it starts to escalate and gets so dramatic and beautiful and just yes. So doomy and dark and lovely. I still prefer Stream of Passion's version, but this one is definitely a great take on it.

7) The Hardkiss - Organ

I recently got their new album, Perfection is a Lie, and this is the opening track and it rekindled my love for it. It's such a gorgeous and moving song. I kept finding myself gravitating to this song for whatever reason. It's so good.

8) Snow White Blood - Sheherazade

This band recently released their debut EP onto YouTube and it made me so happy. It's such an amazing EP and one of my favorites released last year. But this song is definitely my favorite off it. Gorgeous symphonic power metal with an arabian influence to it. So much yes.

Lullaby for the Dead

This is my second favorite song off Once Upon a Fearytale. It's such a gorgeous and dramatic track. The verses are so simple, then the chorus kicks in and just attacks your senses with how dramatic it is. In other words, it goes from 0 to 100 real quick and I absolutely love it.

9) Sevi - The Call

This band keeps releasing one amazing track after another. This one is a bit different from the others they've released, but in such a great way. It definitely sticks out and is absolutely lovely. Also it's about sirens, so that's another huge plus for me.

10) Nostalghia - Plastic Heart

I recently saw both the John Wick films, but when I heard this song in the second one, I instantly fell in love with it and had to know what it was. Come to find out that it's Nostalghia. This is so different from her usual dark ambient stuff. This track is so catchy and wonderful.

Coronation

This track is so beautiful. Them high notes. That's all that it took to get me hooked on it. That and the haunting atmosphere of this track. It's so lovely and wonderful. Definitely give it a listen.

11) Soltras - Empatheia

This was a project that Micky of End of the Dream fronted at one point. She shared this track on her YouTube channel and I immediately fell in love. It's so good and much heavier and proggy than End of the Dream and is so good. It's such a bummer that the project is longer active, but at least Micky is still active in the music scene.

12) Empyrean Throne - And None Shall Rise

Randomly discovered this band one day and I became obsessed with this track. The baritones sound absolutely amazing and haunting. If you're looking into finding a new death/black metal band, definitely give these guys a try.

13) Verite - Somewhere in Between

I discovered this artist through Facebook one day and decided to give the title track of their debut album a listen and I'm so glad I did. This track is so beautiful and catchy. I'm noticing that Facebook is recommending a lot of artists like this lately and I am very much on board with it.

14) Virus of Ideals - Into the Flames

I discovered this band through Twitter randomly one day and decided to give them a listen. I wasn't that impressed at first, but then their female singer popped in and immediately sent the song in a different direction. It took such a beautiful turn and I love it so much.

15) Cadence Calling - Post Mortem

I discovered these guys through Instagram thanks to them and/or one of their members liking a few of my posts and possibly even following me. I'm finding myself getting into metalcore again all thanks to bands like these guys. Such a great track and I'm definitely going to check out more from them.

16) Unleash the Archers - Cleanse the Bloodlines

This is a song that I rekindled my love for. It randomly popped up on my recommended videos on YouTube one day so I decided to listen to it since it had been a hot minute since I last did. It's so epic and is one of those songs that so easy to jam to. Definitely am excited to listen to Apex. THIS is how they are supposed to sound!

17) Exit Eden - Unfaithful (Rihanna cover)

This was my favorite song for about a week straight. I listened to it on repeat hours on end for nearly a week. I was already excited when I found out they were a symphonic metal super girl group fronted by Amanda Somerville, Clementine Delauney, Marina La Torraca and Anna Brunner, but I was not prepared for the epicness that was this cover. They're gonna be releasing a new single and video tomorrow and I cannot wait for it!

That's it for the first half of July! I wonder how many epic tracks are gonna make it in the next installment.