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#I Really hope I'm able to find someone to take the other room quickly bc it would be so so delightful for meㅠㅠ
dragonji · 4 months
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just received a finished comm of jyt and a phonecall that the local business I frequent for jellycat plushies was able to reserve one of the upcoming new dragons for me so I'll have it as soon as they ship next month And the apartment I went to check out today was like nearly perfect and in the exact area I want..... maybe it is finally my turn to have fate smile upon me [sniffles gratefully]
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samsspambox · 2 years
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howdy! i did a thing!
tw: medical procedures
i think i've mentioned this before on here but i've been having stomach issues for years (i legit dry heave after every meal. and when i get nervous/any strong emotion. it's so annoying) and i finally got my doctor to refer me over to a gastroenterologist. so! after a 15 minute visit in november, i was scheduled for a Upper Endoscopy, which happened earlier today at a hospital!
now, i've been lucky enough to never be admitted to the hospital before, so this was a first for me. i was scared shitless. that and it was cold, so i couldn't stop trembling LMAO
anyway! i had to go under for a few hours and it was the weirdest experience of my life. and also had some funny bits lol.
when they first hooked me up to a heart monitor, my heart rate Would Not Go Down. it wouldn't fall under 120. the nurse was like 'deep breaths' and i wanted to laugh bc i am an Anxious Person. 120 was as low as it was gonna get LOL. it'd always spike when someone new entered the room too, which was the funniest thing. the person who came to help with my IV was like 'are you okay'? yeah, i was okay. just nervous and scared lol. the IV guy was so nice and even tho he had trouble finding my vein, he only stabbed me once. thank you IV guy.
when the anesthesiologist came in, it was so funny too.
anesthesiologist: do you have any anxiety or depression
me: yes
anesthesiologist: ...one or the other?
me: oh! whoops, both. sorry about that.
and then came the time that they actually put me under. it was so weird. the doctor hadn't even finished saying 'you might feel a little burning' when i just clonked out. the whole world started bubbling and i went 'oh this is weird' and bam, i was asleep. granted i think only having 3 hours of sleep on me helped LMAO
i ended up coming to in recovery! and fairly quickly too, i think they were just finished moving the bed to the spot when i started talking even if my throat was sore. which was also another funny interaction in my opinion LMAO
me, still mildly out of it: is it over?
nurse: it is. you just rest up and then we'll move you to another room.
me: my mom is in the waiting room, can she come in?
nurse: i'm afraid not, sweetie.
me: okay. thank you for taking care of me
nurse: you're welcome. would you like a blanket?
me: yes please, thank you.
let it be known that i am a polite camper!! look at me, using my manners LMAOO
idk how long i actually spent in recovery since i was still mildly out of it and i didn't have my watch or phone on me. they wheeled me out into another recovery room with a heated chair and plopped me down and then got me apple juice, which i was hella stoked about. they then called my mom and she walked into the room, but at this point i was much more lucid and happily eating a graham cracker.
me, looking at my mom who's looking for the room i'm in: oh! ma! hello!!
mom, hearing me and walking over: ay mija! what did they do to you? you're all pale!
me: really? i feel fine though
mom: yes really, you're pale!
me: hey at least i'm awake and conscious enough to tell you how to get out the parking lot
mom: you're right
and then i got discharged, but had to wait a little bit bc my mom got lost inside the hospital and had just made it to the car when they sat me on the wheelchair (a wheelchair!! pushed by a nurse!!! idk i was just very surprised bc i felt like i would walk it on my own and i know it was policy but huh!!) and then we went home at around 9. for context i was at the hospital since 6am, and the last time i was able to check time was at 7:20-ish, so i was out a solid hour and a half.
and then when we got home i crashed and then ate some soup.
this experience was weird. going under was an interesting experience. i hope i never have to do that ever again LMAO.
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zegumi · 3 years
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Ushijima Wakatoshi SFW alphabet
alphabet template here
fluff I sfw I gn reader I hcs
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A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
at first he's quite hesitant on showing affection, wondering if you're comfortable with him being that close to you. he starts off easy: holding hands, letting you rest on him... etc.
once he feels more comfortable with you, he starts placing his head in your lap and giving you little kisses here and there
his favourite forms of affection are: forehead/cheek kisses, back hugs, holding pinkies, and resting his head on your shoulder
when you’re not around he shows affection by talking to you to his closer teammates but subtly, he brings up your name once in a while and a teammate will tease "ooo somebody's in looove" and he starts blushing profusely, asking if they can go back to practice, but the thought of you never leaves
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
being best friends with ushijima seems very rare, he's pretty selective with letting people close enough to earn that title
with you it was unexpected, you weren't afraid or cautious of his stoic upfront. you sat next to him in class and tried to make conversation with him, making sure to include him in conversations and asking how he's doing once in a while. he lets his guard down a little and you guys get even closer, he even invites you over to help with some schoolwork and suddenly you guys are spending more time together outside of school
he's kind of hesitant to call you a best friend, but when he sees that you’re okay calling him yours, he adopts the same title
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
yes yes yes and yes
he is always behind you, resting your head on top of his. if not he'll be facing upwards, lying on his back, your head will be resting on his shoulder and he'll have his arm wrapped around your waist.
he's definitely 99% always the big spoon
but on the rare occasion he wants to be the little spoon, he has both his arms wrapped around your waist, with his head on your chest, your hand running through his hair while your legs are intertwined absolute bliss
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
hell yeah
he's a sucker for the domestic life, waking up with you in your sub-urban house, a train ride away from the city. making cakes with you in your green painted kitchen which took you way longer than it needed to bc you kept messing around
he can cook, oh my, he buys some cookbooks and you guys spend some time with each other
I feel like he wants kids, some mini him and you running around, if not he'll adopt some
him teaching his kids to play volleyball in the backyard, him brushing their teeth and reading them bedtime stories and them giving them a little kiss goodnight cuteness overload
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
definitely depends on the reason why you're breaking up, but in this scenario, let's say he hasn't been home enough and you guys feel like you're not with each other enough pain
he really dreads having to break up with you, but he knows you deserve more than someone who is barely home. he's not harsh about it, he sits you down at a time when you guys are both free and explains why, "maybe the time isn't right, right now"
even though he broke it off, he still thinks about it quite a lot, he really hopes that you guys will find your way back to each other one day even if he knows that it won't be possible bc right now you're happier with someone else :( i love angst
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
his volleyball career kinda gets in the way of him wanting to commit to you, but he wants to show you that you mean the world to him, so i think he proposes in his mid-late twenties
his proposal isn't really that over the top, but he takes you out first for a fancy dinner with the excuse 'can't i treat you once in a while'. it's quite dark outside and you guys are looking over the city, you turn around to ask him something and you see him down one knee lovely
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
he is very gentle... probably bc of his strict upbringing, but he makes sure not to hurt you in any way
he becomes so much more gentle with his words, careful of saying the wrong words because he can't stand the thought of losing you
physically, he tries to make sure not to accidentally knock into you bc this man is so big and if you get ill ushijima is doing anything in his power to get you better, he tries not to get sick in the process, but having you care for him doesn't seem like the worst idea
emotionally, he tries to support you, but he's not the greatest at dealing with emotions, but when supporting you he tries comforting you rather than trying to solve your problems
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
at the beginning of the relationship, i think his hugs are kind of stiff-ish, but once you guys get more comfortable he goes all in
he's such a good hugger. he doesn't do half-hugs, it's all of it or nothing, he engulfs you with his strong arms a little bit too tight but who needs air
if he feels extra clingy back hugs. he loves the feeling of having your figure pressing against his, sometimes his hands grip onto your waist and he'll sway you back and forth while humming to his favourite song
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
as I've mentioned before, you're the first one to say ily in the relationship, but he says it back straight after
i like to think this happens about 5/6 months into the relationship, just when you guys start getting really comfortable around each other
as for using the L-word, he doesn't really say it that often, he believes when something is overused it isn't as special. he only uses it when it needs to be said
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
he doesn't really get jealous easily bc he's kind of oblivious or chooses not to pay attention to it
but when he catches on to whatever's going on, his eyebrows furrow and he'll just give the stare, he'll come near you and put an arm around your waist and slyly try to join the conversation
he knows what he's doing and so does everyone else
the person you're talking to gets a bit intimidated and tries to end the conversation as quickly as possible
you'll try to tease him for his jealously and he'd just change the subject and starts blushing a little, if you try to bring it up later he'd be like 'huh what was that sorry i don't remember'
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
I'm not good with this type of stuff ahh
he's actually pretty good at kissing. he likes soft kisses and little pecks on the shoulder and forehead.
when he's rough or needy, he gets really handsy like hands cupping your cheeks, in your hair, hands pulling your waist in - just very intimate
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
lazy mornings bc who likes being productive all the time
he likes sleeping in on days he has nothing to do, so he’ll be behind you hugging your waist and his head resting on your back, you try to stand up so you can get breakfast done but he pulls you back and says 'come on, just a little more', you know that means another hour but you still get sucked back into his warm embrace
you end up falling asleep and wake up with noises coming from the kitchen. you walk in on him wearing just an apron and his pajama pants, dancing to the radio while making pancakes for breakfast
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
again lazy evening edition bc why not
he comes home early that day, brings home your favourite snacks and asks if you want to watch a movie with him
he grabs a few blankets from your room and you guys decide to watch 13 going on 30 one of my comfort movies
halfway through the movie, he places his head on your laps asking for you to play with his hair, he lies down and you throw some popcorn and skittles in his mouth every few minutes, you tried pouring water but he started choking and spat water all over your shirt
it gets pretty late and cold so he changes you into his hoodie and carries you over to the bedroom. you guys fall asleep to the hums of the city below
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
he's a very reserved person, and i think it's just the way he was raised, talking about feelings wasn't normal in his home growing up
i think with you it takes him some time to open up, he reveals a few things about him and his childhood here and there but nothing major
he doesn't talk about how he feels enough, so it kinda relies on you being able to notice a change in his behaviour which might I say seems extremely hard
i think if you start being more open to him, then he follows on
he gets more comfortable with his emotions around you first and then starts being more open to his team - just give him some time he gets there
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
oh he's so patient, so patient
it takes a LOT to anger him, i don't think you ever have or ever will see this man angry, tbh i don't think you would want to
if you ever lash out at him, he'd sit down and understand where you're coming from, he'd try to calm you down and give you a second to let it all out
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)
he remembers everything, literally everything
you mentioned that you liked mangos yesterday, and boom you've got a lifetime supply in your kitchen /s
he keeps a little note in his notes app just making sure he doesn't forget anything, he has your favourite orders, skin/hair care products you use, and little stuff like your favourite show in there
he does this bc he loves how your eyes beam after realising he remembers the little details
R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)
this one hc is why this took so long, so I decided not to do bc my brain isn’t responding
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
ushijima isn't the overprotective type although he is protective
he doesn't care what you wear or how you present yourself, as long as you’re comfortable, you will have his full support
if he sees someone making you uncomfortable, he is always quick to jump in and say "you're making them uncomfortable can you please excuse yourself". if he sees a situation is making you feel uneasy he will take you and leave, to calm you down or to clear your mind, which ever one is the best choice in that moment
he doesn't feel the need to be protected, he believes that hes strong enough for the both of you sometimes he needs a little help so pls do step in
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
such a big try hard, he puts so much effort into dates, anniversaries, and even mundane everyday activities.
even far into your relationship he still pulls up at your door with a suit and a flower bouquet which he seems to never forget
he always wants everything to be perfect so you'll never forget
he enjoys surprising you with little gifts to remind you that he still cares. he seems like the type to buy you a promise ring, and oh my is it beautiful
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
this is hard bc in my eyes this man can't do any wrong, but its probably how he can't express his emotions very well
everyone gets in a bad mood once in a while, but for ushijima its different, the stress of volleyball gets to him and he just ends up shutting everyone out, including you. he was never taught how to properly talk abt how he feels so he just holds it in with never intending to let it out
if you try to ask him whats wrong then he just grunts and shrugs it off
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
he isn’t insecure for how he looks physically, he works out and maintains a healthy lifestyle, and he was blessed with that beautiful face of his *chefs' kiss
he's always hygienic (bare minimum), he cuts his hair regularly, keeps his hands nice and clean, with his nails well-trimmed
he likes to keep his appearance up and always looks like he should be on the front cover of a magazine but so effortlessly
bonus: he smells so good, he wears expensive cologne and zooweemama its so tasty, you'll hug him and never want to let go just because
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
he wouldn't necessarily feel incomplete with out you, he'd feel a bit empty
he forgets how much he misses you when he goes abroad for matches and he can't see you for a week straight. he makes sure to send videos and voice notes rather than texts so you can send some back. he video calls everyday, no matter the time difference just so he can see you in real time
if you guys take a break in the relationship, he finds his self drifting back into his stoic shell. he tries his best not to bc he knows how much he loves the person you've helped him become
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
doesn't know how to flirt hehe
he tries to use a smooth pick up line once in a while but they all end up with him in a flustered mess before he can even finish a sentence, i think we should leave the flirting to you
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
liars/dishonest people
he can't stand it when somebody lies to him, its agitating when someone he cares for feels the need to lie to him, it makes him feel like they don't trust him enough
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
he's a quite a light sleeper and wakes up pretty easily. he also looks dead when he sleeps, for example most days he sleeps pretty early bc he's worn out and you come into the bedroom and see him lying down on his back, his chest isn't even moving like it should be, but you'll get into bed with him and his first instinct is to wrap his arms around you and give you a kiss
i think he sleep talks, omg just imagine ushijima whispering about the weirdest things in his dreams. you recorded him once and showed him when he woke up and he got a bit embarrassed and started laughing
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here's the hcs for mornings with ushi
this took me so long omg >o< I really hope I portrayed his character well bc he’s such a lovely person
make sure to take care of yourselves :)
reblogs are very much appreciated <3
requests are open
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angellesword · 4 years
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YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (03)
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Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It's simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if...Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?
Alternatively;
"A future without you is a world without color."
Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au
Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader
Word Count: 2.4k
SERIES: CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 4
Note: OC is a lawyer but the author knows nothing about law except the three law subjects she took last semester. errors. ah. there will always be errors here bc english isn’t my first language. anyway!!! enjoy!
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Jimin wasn't lying when he said you were a mess. This was evident to Jeongguk the second he stepped inside your apartment.
Pile of cardboard boxes and papers were cluttered all over the floor, causing him to feel uneasy. The faint colors visible in his eyes didn't help to calm his nerves. It was as if he suddenly became hypersensitive to his surroundings.
He assumed that your house wasn't really that untidy, but as stated, the colors made it seem like it was untidier.
"Hi there, buddy." Jeongguk forced a smile at the cat glaring at him. He remembered Jimin telling him that your cat was a bitch. The fury pet was making this strange, scary sound. Jeongguk suddenly wished you were here to stop the cat from attacking him.
He wasn't expecting you to lock yourself inside your room the moment you realized that he was your soulmate.
He was so startled by your reaction that his first instinct was to run after you. The thing was, your cat was blocking your bedroom door—stopping him from intruding your personal space. It was obvious that the little animal didn't like the fact that Jeongguk invited himself inside your home.
Jeongguk didn't know why you were hiding from him. In your defense, you were embarrassed. What were you supposed to say to your soulmate? How were you going to explain to him that the reason why you looked like a mess was because of your demanding job?
Being a civil lawyer was exhausting. One second you're negotiating settlement with the other side's attorney, then you would just find yourself filing motions in court and of course, there were many instances where you're standing before the jury and judge to present a case.
Expertise wasn't the only thing necessary in law. You also needed a great amount of empathy so that you could understand your clients. You cared for them a lot; this was why it was such a big deal for you whenever they choose to omit facts.
You hated it when your clients were being dishonest, you didn't need them to be innocent. You only wanted them to tell you the absolute truth so that you could properly defend them. It wasn't like your job was easy. The fact that most people living in your world see in black and white was already a pain in the ass. Earlier this day, you had a client who was suing a businessperson for selling fake whitening products. She claimed that she spent a whopping two thousand dollars to get that fair skin tone. Sadly, it didn't work.
The opposing side asked your client this: how can you say that the products don’t work when you can’t even see colors?
You were shocked to learn this. Your client was subject to a color test for eyes. She said she could see colors when in fact, she couldn't. Actually, the only reason why the vendor sold your client the whitening products was because she also lied to the seller. The latter's rule was that she wouldn't allow people who see in black and white to purchase her products. This was so she could protect her business' image from fraudster like your client.
Things like this often happened in court. The one you encountered were usually easier to resolve, unlike what criminal lawyers face. This, however, didn't mean your job should be taken lightly.
What happened in court today actually took a toll on you. Your boss humiliated you in front of your colleagues, saying that he couldn't believe an experienced lawyer like you would make such rookie mistake. This made you feel like a loser that's why you decided to go home early to rest. You knew you couldn't work when your heart was this heavy.
You ran yourself a bath the moment you reached your apartment. Jimin was bombarding your phone with text messages to remind you that Jeongguk, a friend of his, was going to drop at your place later today since he was interested to be your roommate.
You simply replied 'Yes, I haven't forgotten. Stop pestering me,' to your best friend. Truthfully, Jimin hadn't shut up about this guy named Jeongguk since last week. He kept telling you that he was the perfect replacement for Seulgi, your former roommate.
You just shrugged it off. Honestly, you didn't care if Jeongguk was the perfect roommate or not. At this point, you would take anyone in. You seriously needed someone who could help you with the household chores.
The warm water grazing your skin made you feel sleepy. Before you knew it, you're off to dreamland; however, your little slumber was disrupted by loud knocks coming from your front door.
"Shit!" Your eyes went wide upon realizing that your supposed to be new roommate was already at the door. As if to confirm the horror, your phone rang.
Jimin was calling.
"Where the hell are you? Jeongguk is in front of your door!"
"I know. I'm so sorry! I fell asleep." You got out of the tub, hurriedly putting on your bathrobe.
"Talk to you later!" You ended the voice call, rushing towards the door. Unfortunately, you slipped on the wet floor.
You whined in pain. Luck was truly not on your side today, but instead of getting annoyed, you simply stood up and went your way to the door.
"I'm sorry, I was in the shower. I swear I heard you the first time you knocked, but I was panicking so I slipped down the floor and I..." You were already blabbering right after opening the door. You hadn't seen your future roommate's face because it was easier to lie without looking at someone in the eyes.
You didn't know why you told him you heard his first knock, when in reality, you didn't. You guessed you just hated disappointing people. What happened with your boss today was something you couldn't let to be repeated again. You couldn't bear to irritate another person.
You kept yourself busy as you reasoned out. You ran your hand through your wet hair, eyes widening when you saw your fingers covered in soap suds.
"Oh, my God!" You were panicking again. This time, you finally looked at Jeongguk to see his reaction.
It was like the world stopped.
No. You did not see colors instantly. What you felt was something strange—mystical perhaps. It was just like how they described it in books and movies.
You thought people were exaggerating about what they claimed they felt when they met their soulmates.
Apparently, they were not.
You know the feeling of finally seeing the rainbow after the strong storm? It was like that. Except this was way better. Your young self was probably rejoicing now. Being able to meet and look in your soulmate's eyes was dazzling.
The colors were becoming visible now, it was faint—this was in contrast to the embarrassment you were feeling.
You suddenly became very self-conscious with what you looked like. You were wrong. Your young self wasn't that happy because she wasn't expecting to meet her soulmate like this.
You were aware that you looked awful. The bags under your bloodshot eyes were probably so deep. The soap suds in your hair made you appear ridiculous. The most horrifying of all? You were wearing a bathrobe designed with the face of your favorite cartoon character.
"Uh—"
You ran away, locking yourself in your room before Jeongguk could finish what he was about to say.
Your heart was beating so fast as you stared in the mirror. The disgust you felt intensified. God. You looked horrible. You mentally cursed the brand of the mascara you were wearing. So much for claiming to be smudge proof! Curse yourself too because this wouldn't happen in the first place if you only refrained from crying over your boss' mean words, but it seemed like you never learned. You just scolded yourself from crying easily, but here you were, tears were painting your cheeks once again.
"No..." Your lips quivered. You were stronger than this. You weren't going to ruin your chance with your soulmate.
Determined, you quickly changed into a sage dress. Your hands were trembling because of your new found excitement. You loved colors ever since you were a kid. The fact that you couldn't see them didn't stop you from learning its meaning. You studied good color combination before. You were aware how to aesthetically match the hues. For instance, you knew that you would look ridiculous if you wore a neon green shirt and bright pink jeans. You were always careful in choosing what to wear, so now that you could finally see colors without referring to your color palette generator, you were beyond happy.
When you looked decent enough, you decided to finally face your soulmate. The first thing you saw as you opened your bedroom door was Jeongguk sitting on your couch—this was a very shocking scene. No. You weren't surprised because he was casually plopped down on your sofa, what you didn't expect was to see Miri, your bitch of a cat, to be so comfortable on Jeongguk's lap. Your pet looked at peace; the usual hiss she was making was replaced by a silent purring. Her bambi eyes mirrored your soulmate's same big, doe eyes.
You cleared your throat to get Jeongguk's attention.
"I let myself in, I hope you don't mind." You couldn't decipher what he was feeling. Jeongguk's voice was soft, but there was no hint of emotion there. His expression was also unreadable.
Jeongguk tore his gaze away from you when he realized that you were staring. As if this wasn't already awkward for him, you went on to say something that made him more uncomfortable.
"I've been waiting so long to meet you! Are you going to move in with me now?" You plopped down beside Jeongguk, squeezing your body between him and the arm of your sofa. Miri hissed since she was astounded by your sudden action. Actually, Jeongguk was surprised too. Your couch was pretty spacious; he didn't understand why you had to press yourself beside him.
Jeongguk also didn't know why you sounded so hopeful. The sparks in your eyes caused him to scowl; however, this didn't stop you from speaking your hopeless thoughts.
"We could do a lot of things together! I had planned everything since I was young!" You giggled. You didn't know why you were so comfortable telling him things. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you two were soulmates.
However Jeongguk was confused with your weird idea of wanting to do all of this romantic stuff with him. The uneasiness he felt couldn't be contained anymore when you abruptly talked about dating—as in dating him.
"Whoa, whoa..." He cut you off, arching his brow and moving away from you. "Slow down, will you? I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Oh." You blushed, immediately realizing that you had gone too far. "I'm sorry I got carried away. I was just excited to meet you." You couldn't help but beam at him.
Jeongguk continued to raise his brow at you.
"Why? Are you really that desperate to find a roommate?"
It was your turn to raise a brow at him.
"N-No, I just..." You breathed in, unsure of what to say. "I'm just happy to finally meet my soulmate."
"Soulmate?"
You flinched because of the bitterness in his voice. His innocent eyes turned dark, he was glaring at you. Miri was startled once more. She jumped on your lap because she was getting scared of Jeongguk.
"I'm sorry to break it to you, but I don't believe in soulmates." The word 'soulmate' sounded so rough coming from him, making you flinch again.
Many people had told you that you were good at gauging the feelings of other people, this was why your heart skipped a beat when you saw pain and anger crossed Jeongguk's feature. It was as if he was betrayed by someone.
"It's the most absurd thing I've heard in my entire life. Only stupid people believe in soulmates. I mean—" Jeongguk sucked in a breath. He was so annoyed that he didn't even know how to express his thoughts without breaking apart. "It's limiting the possibilities for people. Why am I required to fall in love with someone I barely know? Why should I leave the person I truly love just because a person meant to be the love of my life," he paused, quoting the words love of my life in the air. "Helped me see colors? It's like forcing me to do something I don't—no, I can't do. It's such a burden. Love can't be bought. I refuse to be with people just because they helped me."
There was silence after Jeongguk's long speech of the reasons why he didn't—or as what he claimed—couldn't love you.
Jeongguk wetted his bottom lip. The silence was making him hate himself. He hated himself because he saw the tears forming in your eyes, an obvious sign that you were hurt because of what he said. But most importantly, he hated you.
It was unlikely of him to hate someone he just met—or to simply hate anyone at all, but everything about you was making him mad as hell.
He hated your hopeful eyes, he hated your beliefs, he hated that you were the person hindering him from being with Red.
He knew it was unfair to blame you since Red chose to leave on her own, but he still couldn't help himself because the idea of soulmate was what urged her to leave.
You were Jeongguk's soulmate and for him, it meant nothing. So with a furrowed brow, he stared hard at you as he said this:
"I'm making you choose right now. Either accept me as Jeongguk, your tenant or Jeongguk, your soulmate. But just so you know, I will never stay with you if you treat me like a soulmate."
His word stung, though you were aware that the only way to make him stay was to choose the former option. At least this way, you got to be with your soulmate.
The colors you see were starting to fade away and it was okay...
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yelenayena · 3 years
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Sweet Candy
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Pairing: Yelena x Fem!reader
Genre: Romance, fluff, modern AU
A/N: This story is a little bit longer, so I suggest you bring your fav beverage, play your fav songs, and enjoy your free time this weekend by fantasizing about Yelena 💕 Suddenly I wanna make a tsundere Yelena, and I think I love every side of Yelena. I gave the title Sweet Candy bc between you and Yelena are really sweet like a candy 🥺 💕 I hope you like it, and I hope you understand my English because I’m poor at grammar hehe.
Summary: Your apartment was on fire, your best friend, Zeke, couldn't help you bc he wanted to fix his relationship with his gf. He insisted you stay in Yelena’s house for a while. After you stayed in Yelena’s house for weeks, on Valentine's Day, Yelena did something that opens up your mind and changed your life forever!
Warning: Explicit Content!
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You just started your first year in university. You decided to study abroad, because your childhood friend, Zeke, had already come and being an international student, and that was inspired you as you saw his student life looked so interesting.
A couple of months ago you came to the same university as Zeke, and only a few days ago you got an unpleasant event when your apartment was on fire. So today, Zeke told you to come to his best friend’s house to stay in their home for a while.
You have just arrived at Zeke's friend's house, and you are standing in front of the door. On the third knock, the door opened. The tall-ass blonde, the one who opened the door, looked at you suspiciously.
By ignoring her expression, you smiled widely. “Hi! You must be Yelena! I’m Y/N, nice to meet ya!”
Before she responded to your words, you stepped into her house. “Wow! Your house is so lovely!”
Yelena’s eyes widened as you came into her house. “I’m sorry, but who the hell are you?” She asked with an annoyed tone.
You turned your body around to look at her, “Ah! Zeke hasn't told you yet?” You threw yourself on the couch, “I’m sorry for coming to your house so suddenly without prior notice, but in my condition, I also have no choice. So he asked me to come to your house, and he will give you further details later.”
She stared at you with a gaze full of confusion. You smiled nervously, “I’m sorry but I’m really bad at explaining.”
She held her index finger to her temple, “just hold a sec!” She brought and placed you in front of the door then she closed it.
You sighed and smiled sadly. You can understand her conduct, however, you are just a stranger to her. You sat on the step in front of her house, waiting and thinking, if she refuses you, maybe you have to find another motel or guest house nearby to campus.
In the house. Yelena grabbed her phone on the desk and called Zeke. On the third ring, Zeke picked up the call.
“ZEKE! What the hell did you do to me?!” She said indignantly.
“I meant to call you. So, she must have arrived at your house?” he asked.
Even though she knew Zeke wouldn’t see her face, she still nodded her head. “Uh-huh! And why the fuck she came to my house?! I mean, who the hell is she??
Yelena can hear Zeke sighed, “Yelena, listen. Y/N is my hometown friend, my grandmother even considered her as her own grandchild and I considered her as my lil’ sister. She studied in the same university as us. But unfortunately, her apartment was on fire the day before yesterday, it was on the news, you knew it, right?
“I immediately brought her to my place when it happened. She only had me in this city because she hasn’t had many friends in her department. She slept in my place last night, but my girlfriend was really upset when she saw Y/N in my apartment.
“You know my relationship was on the rocks, so it’s hard for my girlfriend to believe that Y/N is just my friend. So please, accept her in your house until she finds a new apartment, or until my girlfriend believes me and allows her to stay in my apartment. Okay?” he explained.
“It's so sudden,” Yelena replied.
“Please, I'm begging you. I'm so worried about her, she had no luck in her life, so you're the one I can trust to help her,” Zeke pleaded.
“Does she really have no relatives or friends here?”
“No, she only had me. You know we’re foreign students. She just started her first year in our university. I can’t let her stay in her new friends’ house, I ain’t trusting them. I really want to help her but unfortunately, I can’t help her right now because I wanna fix my relationship with my girlfriend, I’m screwed without her. You owed me so it’s time to repay the favor by allowing Y/N to stay in your house for a while. I promise she won't do such annoying things during her stay. She’s a good girl.”
Yelena sighed, “fine! I’ll allow her to stay in my house JUST for a while.”
“I know I can count on you!” Said Zeke happily.
“I told you, I can’t blame your girlfriend because you fucked every girl you met before you dated her. So take your responsibility and be a good man! I’m out!” Yelena turned off her phone.
When Yelena opened the door, she saw you walk through the yard to leave her house. “Hey! Wait!” She shouted.
You turned your head immediately when you heard her voice.
“I just called Zeke and- you can stay here for a while,” she said.
You smiled happily, “really?!” She nodded. You’re walking toward her and hugging her. “Thank you!”
Yelena looked awkward, “whoa- whoa- what is it for?”
“It’s my habit to hug someone when I’m happy,” you answered. “And- this is the reason why Zeke’s girlfriend was upset when she came to his place and she saw me hug him,” you continued, speaking more to yourself than to Yelena.
But Yelena can still hear your voice, she let out a long sigh, “the two of you really are weirdos! Come in!”
This time, Yelena lets you come to her house. And since today, you’ll stay in her house together. You told your story about the fire in your apartment and when Zeke brought you to his apartment until his girlfriend came over. You convinced her that you won’t stay long in her house until you find a new apartment. You believed Zeke so much, so when he insisted that you have to stay in Yelena’s house, you obeyed him without question. If Zeke believes Yelena, so you believe her as well.
She lets you sleep in the guest room. You asked her how much you have to pay for the room, but she refused it and told you it was just for a while so you don’t have to pay her except you paid yourself for a meal.
You stayed in Yelena’s house for almost a week. You thought she was a little bit cocky with an unfriendly attitude, but she is just a straightforward person with an expressionless face. She's nice actually, at least she still lets you stay in her house until now because you discovered difficulties to find a new apartment. People might consider her as a male because of her masculine figure, and she is a very tall woman with a height of six feet three inches. For you, she’s the perfect figure for the androgynous look, she look pretty and handsome at the same time. Her hair is blonde in a short bob with straight bangs, and it suits her well. You bet she’s pretty famous among girls or boys.
Even so, you found that her friends are just Zeke and Onyankopon, a cool and nice black guy. You found out quickly because she rarely hangs out with other friends except for Zeke and Onyankopon, but she's good at negotiating with others. You often see her talking on the phone with her business partner, and in the end, she smiled with satisfaction and told you that she reached an advantageous deal. She’s also an ambitious person.
Yeah, she’s a third-year business student just like Zeke, so she often gets the assignments for making a brand or a start-up from her lecturers. Well, maybe now you can be her new good friend, you’re a friendly and funny person, so it’s not hard for you to get along with her.
“What the hell are you doing in the kitchen for hours??” Yelena asked you on the phone. You can hear the class ambiance behind her voice.
“How did you know?” you asked.
“You didn't realize? I’ve been watching you from the CCTV in every corner of my house. Even when you did some silly movements in front of the TV to workout,” she explained.
You turned your head to the upper corner where the CCTV hangs. You looked at that with surprise. How can you not realize that there are many CCTVs in her house, and she's been watching you all the time!
“You! You're a sly peeper!”
She chuckled, “my house, my rule. So what are you up to?”
“I’m making chocolate. Valentine's Day is almost coming, so I wanna make delicious chocolate for my crush. Don't worry, I'll clean up the kitchen when I’m done.”
“Chocolate? That sucks! Why are you in such a hurry? It's still a week 'till Valentine's Day.”
You rolled your eyes, “as you know, I suck at cooking, so I need to learn to make un chocolat parfait.”
“Ah! And I still remember how horrible an omelet you made!” her tone was almost mocking.
“I know you're really good at cooking, but please don't be so mean to me.”
She laughed slightly, “okay. Do what you want. Bye.”
You thought you would be able to make perfect chocolate for your crush instantly, but it’s not that easy! Luckily, Yelena was kind enough to permit you to use her kitchen often. Although she’s good at cooking, she can't help you to give you some advice to make chocolate because she hates sweets. You practice almost every day until the V day comes, and efforts won’t betray you, you did your best to make beautiful and delicious chocolate.
“Finally-” you said while straightening your back and stretching your aching muscles, feeling incredibly relieved. Today is Valentine’s day, now you can go to college before the morning class starts, and give this beautiful chocolate you made to a Mister Perfect.
“You did it?” asked Yelena, you saw her standing on the stairway in the kitchen, still wearing her pajamas. And she stepped down to the floor.
“I did it!” you said happily. You looked at the wristwatches, “and I can go to the morning class on time. How could I've been awesome with that! Ah, I bought savory croissants you like and made hot coffee on the dining table. It's just a little reward for letting me use your kitchen, and as a valentine's gift.” You smiled and winked at her.
For the first time, she looked at you with eyes that sparkled. She smiled slightly, “thanks- So, when are you going to give that chocolate to the unlucky guy?”
You smiled at her, sometimes, she can be an innocent, sarcastic woman. “Perhaps, during lunchtime. He’s a second-year student in the Political Sciences Department, and he’s the coolest guy I’ve ever met on campus. When he puts on his football uniform, he's even cooler!” you said full of joy while imagining your crush’s face.
She rolled her eyes, “I don't give a shit. Besides, giving chocolate to the boys on Valentine’s Day is kinda old fashioned. Why don't you give him a bouquet or a concert ticket?”
“I- I don't know. Isn't that something men always do?”
She clucked her tongue, “it’s women’s emancipation.”
“You're right!” you said eagerly. “Chocolate and flowers! That's cool! I’ll buy flowers for him, too! Thank you, Yelena, you're brilliant!” and you left her to go to campus.
In the late afternoon, it’s a beautiful day at the end of winter, the warmth of the sun is still accompanying people on the outside.
It’s valentine’s day, a day full of love. But all you can feel is the cold wind in your heart, the day gets grey, and pain haunts you. You remembered all the hurtful things he said to you, you feel so rejected by him. It really hurts when you expect so much more from a person you once liked so much. You’ve liked him ever since the first day of college.
Love can sometimes be magic but magic can sometimes just be an illusion. Before you realize it, the tears stream down your face. You walked so slow in Yelena’s neighborhood.
You heard the horn behind you. “Ayo, Taffy! Walking to my house?” That’s Yelena with her car, driving very slowly to follow your steps.
You turned your head to her. She looked at you with a surprise, “Hey, you okay?”
“I- I’m okay,” you said sobbing.
Without asking you first, she scrambled out of the car, and put you in the front passenger seat of the car, and got behind the wheel.
“What happened?” she asked gently.
You cried harder when she asked that. Moments later, you told her your story when you got a raw rejection from your crush. “He even called me fat and I'm not his type. I mean, I’m okay with his ridicule, it's a fact after all. But when he mocked my chocolate, that's when I felt hurt. Anyhow, it was my hard work you even helped me make it,” and you cried again.
“I did nothing, you made it yourself with love,” she said and she turned her vehicle around.
“Where are you going?” you asked.
“I’m going to give that motherfucker a lesson.”
“You- WHAT?”
“Gimme his location!”
“Yelena- No! Turn around your car! Let's just go home.”
She gazed at you in silence for a while, “just shut the fuck up and keep your seat belt fastened!” she spoke firmly.
In the end, you just let her drive to the university yard where your crush and his friends are hanging around. Yelena insisted on giving him a lesson. Your heart raced when you saw her walk through the yard and stepped closer to the table where your crush sat.
Your crush stopped laughing when she stood in front of him, it also gave his friends in silence and looked at her in confusion. “Ayo! Rough guy!” She greeted him with a condescending tone.
“Who the hell are you, tomboy?” he asked her.
“Nobody, just a courier. I delivered a package for you,” she showed him a chocolate box and a bouquet.
“Ah, that’s from Y/N, huh? Take back, I ain't gonna need that. If I take that shit, I’m afraid that fatty would think I will accept her feelings.”
Yelena spat on the ground, “you know I was relieved I never dated a guy, and the guy I hate the most is the guy like you. You're more gay than I am, y’know? Before you mocked her, look at yourself in the mirror whether you're better than her or not! You think you're perfect, huh?”
Yelena threw the flowers and the chocolate on your crush’s face. Her hands in the fluid movement to deliver precisely aimed blows to a startled opponent.
“What the fuck!” He shouted out in shock. Getting rid of the flowers on his face and the chocolate stains off his jacket.
“Take that, you motherfucker! You should've respected her! It shows her love and hard work!” Yelena grunted, “but at least I’m relieved she wouldn't fall for an asshole like you again.” And she left him without waiting for his response.
You watched what Yelena did to him far behind, and it gives you a new perspective that you adore her so much.
“Thank you,” you said gently when you and she sat in the car.
“For what?”
“For everything. Why are you so kind to me? I mean, I am the one who often troubles you, but you still want to add a new enemy, because of me. I’ve seen everything you’ve done to him, and I really appreciate it.” You laughed strangely, “you were very rude to him, but I think he deserved it.
She grunted, “that son of a bitch deserves worse. Why do you think I'm doing this to you?” She looked at you seriously with her deep voice.
You find it difficult to answer. In silence, you looked at each other. You felt an odd feeling when you looked into her big beautiful eyes. You felt captivated by the look in her eyes, so you couldn't move your body when you realized her body moved closer to yours as she tried to kiss you.
As though conscious of what she was about to do, she stopped and sat up straight again. She cleared her throat awkwardly, “and the only one who can make fun of you is me.” She stared at the last small chocolate box on your lap. “Oh, there’s one more.”
“Yup, there is. Don’t worry, I’ll throw away this thing.”
She grabbed the small box immediately, “don’t! I’ll eat it.”
“What? Don't you hate sweets?”
“It’s okay if it's your make,” she eats a piece of chocolate you made. “Umm- not bad, ” she smiled slightly after she finished eating, then she turned the engine on.
After the incident on Valentine’s day, you can't look at her in the same way again, you felt confused about your feelings towards her. You thought she was just your friend, but now you realized you want her more than just a friend. You don't want to ruin your friendship with her, you need to find a new apartment as soon as possible no matter how to keep a distance from her and reset unnecessary feelings.
Luckily, you got a new apartment so you can leave Yelena’s house. Yelena and Zeke helped you pack the stuff and decorate your new room. After those busy days, you can finally enjoy your free time in your new apartment, all alone. And it gives you extra time to prioritize your revenge plan, once you've accepted the insult of the guy you liked. And a wise man said the best revenge is to improve yourself.
On the other hand, you wouldn't believe how much Yelena missed you. She felt empty when she stayed alone, she missed your presence in her house. She once got so annoyed by your noisy existence, but now she really wants to hear all your ridiculous babbling. When she thought of you, she smiled slightly, she didn't believe she could fall for a silly girl like you. Silly but sweet.
Since when did this feeling grow in her heart? She didn't know. Little thing she knew, you're the sweetest, most sincere girl she's ever met. Sometimes she wishes you could open your heart to a girl like her, but she doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable if she expresses any romantic interest in you. To get rid of all her thoughts about you, she occupied herself with the project the lecturer gave her. It is funny, you two are mutually interested in each other, but you two are too afraid to express your feelings.
Time flies so fast. Spring break is over. You are ready to open a new chapter of your life in this warm spring. You were viral by the rejection video of your crush to you, it was a nightmare because everyone recognizes you with something you don't want to be. But now, everyone on campus is amazed by the change you made to yourself. And the best thing is, your crush seems regretful that he has rejected and said something cruel to you. Now, you have some respect from others.
“Wow, I heard an issue that you're now some big news and one of the hotties in this university.”
You heard a familiar voice when you walked alone in the park near your faculty building. You frowned at your face and turned around your body, your eyes widened as you saw a big-beauty blonde standing behind you.
“Long time no see and, look at you, you've changed a lot! Now you've become- a Barbie doll? Eww! You look more ugly than before when you still have those fats in your body,” she continued.
You chuckled, “we’ve lived together under the same roof for almost three weeks, and I got your own dictionary. When you say no, it means yes. So when you say I’m ugly, it means I’m pretty?”
“Jesus, no! I tell the truth, I swear, the new you is ugly.”
“I, I just wanna love myself more by changing my lifestyle to make it healthier,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Whatever. I rather like your old appearance because now you’re a little conscious. Many morons will steal glances at you.”
“What?”
She sighed heavily, “something that didn’t change in you is you still slow like a sloth! Then, I’m leaving!”
“Hey, wait!” You grabbed her long arm to hold her step, “it’s unfair you come and go like a fart!”
Just one touch from you gives her a magical sensation. She then grabbed your hands and pulled your body to get closer to hers.
“I miss you so much! I can’t even stop thinking about you once you leave my house,” she hoarsely whispered.
She bent over you and kissed you. You were shocked by her sudden act, but her kiss is pure, fresh, and thirst-quenching. You felt her stiffening in surprise when you kissed her back, then she continued to insert her tongue into your mouth and moved wildly to play with yours. You two now are kissing so passionately, feeling the burn by the lust of each other.
“So this means, we’re stepping to the next level” she asked with a broad smile on her face. She looked happy.
You smiled mischievously, “what do you think?”
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I think Yelena is the type who can make a straight girl gay. Who can ignore this big-beauty-badass bae 🥵🥵
My fav quotes from Yelena in this story 💕
Yelena to your crush: “...I was relieved I never dated a guy, and the guy I hate the most is a guy like you. You're gayer than I am, y’know?”
[she acted like a gentleman 🥰]
Sweet moments with Yelena 💕
Yelena to you: “Why do you think I'm doing this to you?”
[and you two were looked at each other until she tried to kiss you but she stopped it 😔]
You to Yelena: “Yup. I’ll throw away this thing.”
Yelena to you: “Don’t! I’ll eat it.”
You to Yelena: “Don’t you hate sweets?”
Yelena to you: “It’s okay if it’s your make.”
[then she ate your chocolate even she hates sweets 🥺]
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hi sweetheart !! may i please req an ateez and bts personality ship ?? my description was SUPER long (I GOT CARRIED AWAY </3) so you can cut my request at the personality part when posting my ship! tysm in advance <3
I’m an ‘03 liner that’s 5’9.5 (basically 5’10) with dark skin, jet black hair (currently in long twists rn!!), and i’m on the curvier side (esp hips and my thighs) !! some of my favorite features are my plump lips (and i have a beauty mark near the inside of my bottom lip!), my long legs (they’re 40.5 inches long and look so good in dresses and skirts <33), my kempt and pretty fingernails, and my eyelashes !!! i’m a virgo (and surprisingly i get along with all the signs, i cant think of a sole zodiac sign i DONT mix well with but i love cancers and virgos <33) ! i’m also an ambivert all the way! i often come off as cold/shy/quiet when meeting new people (one of my closest friends avoided me for a month before meeting me because i looked so intimidating LMAO), but once you get close to me i turn into a goofy (heavy on the goofy im never not laughing) bundle of warmth and love: i will never stop texting them the <3 emoji every morning or buying my friends/s/o their favorite starbucks order when they need a little cheer-me-up. also, lots of people say i’m mature and carry myself well, but around my friends i’m one of the most goofiest people ever (probably bc my face will literally be 😐 one sec and then 🥰 the next second when someone makes me laugh <3)
tysm in advance!!! Have an amazing day/afternoon/evening!
@anpanseok DARLING! I hope you love your ship <3 I'm actually really proud of this one, you'll have to let me know what you think! <3
In ATEEZ, I ship you with one and only demon San!
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(I thought you'd like that gif ;) )
Okay, when you were describing all of the things that you would want in the relationship, I thought of San due to how clingy and affectionate he is with the other members of ATEEZ. He is a Cancer, which is good because that is one of the star signs that are compatible with yours. I don't believe that the age difference of four years would be that much of an issue, especially since San acts younger than he is most of the time anyway. I feel like most men are intimidated when their female significant other is tall themselves, but he is tall himself and I feel like the fact that you are taller is kind of one of his favorite things about you? One of his other favorite things about you are your curves, he always puts his hand on your thighs during movie night at the boys' dorm or in the back pocket of your jeans when you two are walking into KQ Entertainment together. When you wear dresses when all of you go out to fancy dinners together, he has to hold himself back because he ADORES you when you wear dresses! You said you're am ambivert, I feel like he relates to that in some form of way, like I feel like there are certain situations where he feels a bit more introverted about. Sometimes Hongjoong has to scold him because he texts you so much, but he can't stay mad at you when you pop into the building with their favorite Starbucks drinks and hand-made lunch boxes for them. Just as you always support his creative endeavors, he always returns it for you tenfold and when you are talking about issues you care deeply about, he gives you his full attention and stares at you lovingly. Not just San, but all of the boys, come to you whenever they are dealing with stress and they just want someone to talk to because you are so amazing at giving advice and supporting them. There was a time when a sasaeng approached you, San, Wooyoung and Jongho when you were doing some late night grocery shopping when another ATINY stopped her, causing an argument and nasty words to be exchanged. Let's just say, you shut that sasaeng down REAL quick when you heard some of the things she said. One day you woke up and found a present that San made for you, a mixtape of all of your favorite songs from all your favorite genres of music, along with a little keychain that had tokens of all of the states you had visited. He wholeheartedly loves you and he makes every effort to support all of your dreams. When he has days off from work, the two of you make a blanket fort in your living room and watch old episodes of Forensic Files and Law & Order: SVU, whilst surrounded by fluffy blankets and a couple of his favorite plushies. His life an idol doesn't afford him much down time, unfortunately, but he always makes time for you and you always have the craziest adventures with not only each other, but all of the other boys as well. Squishy San will want all of the cuddles, have you SEEN how affectionate he is with the other members?! Also, him in all black outfits.... YES, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. One day he was visiting your apartment and he surprised you with matching beaded pearl bracelets and he never takes it off, not even for performances. The boys don't really think nothing of walking into the bathroom to brush their teeth whilst one of the others is showering, that just comes with their busy schedules and their dorm life. Let's just say this: Mingi wasn't able to look you in the eyes for two weeks because he did just that, not realize that you had snuck in and stayed the night, and were currently going to the bathroom whilst San was in the shower. Your camera roll is not only filled with silly pictures of San that you've captured, but of the most magazine worthy, model pictures you have ever been lucky enough to take. He accepts you for all of your flaws, and helps you to try to work on them, however that may be and you do the same for him.
In summary: You both are simps for each other and I AM HERE FOR IT.
In BTS, I ship you with Namjoon!
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Another tall boy for you, I got you! You both are Virgos, but I looked it up worried that two Virgos would clash, and it said that they would be very intuitive with each other and would understand each other! The age gap is quite large, I don't know how okay you are with that? I know everyone has different preferences. He approached you first when he saw you at the mom & pop coffee shop/cafe around the corner from your apartment, and he thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Another man who I don't think would be bothered by your curves (men can be shallow dicks), I think that is his favorite thing (same as San) about you. Not even in a sexual way, I feel like his hands would always end up on your butt without him even noticing. Most of the time, one of the other boys will point it out when all of you are hanging out together, and he will be proud that he has a significant other like you, but he almost might become a shy mess about it I feel like. I feel like he can get jealous, just because you are closest to Jungkook in the group and you often pull pranks on the other members together. There is never a shortage of laughs when all of you are together, pure crackhead energy if I've ever seen it, just non stop jokes and banter between all of you. You were able to get time off from work and were actually able to join them (their managers were surprisingly chill about you tagging along? CONFUSION?) on their tour around Europe and you had so many memories. You actually brought along a Polaroid camera that you found in a little store one day when the two of you were shopping, and you ended up having to buy an extra suitcase on the trip because you took LITERAL hundreds of pictures of all of your adventures and the tour shenanigans. He has childish tendencies, I feel like he would love to play Roblox with you? I feel like he would take a very mathematical approach to building things, that's just the vibe I get from him. He often stares at you when you're doing your makeup in the morning, he finds it fascinating and he even asked you to do his makeup for some of his shows. His makeup artists weren't angry, luckily, all of their staffs absolutely adore you two together. He is all up for adventures, I feel like he would chicken out at the idea of skydiving, though lol. You keep stealing his sweaters, which he low-key highkey is SO happy about because he loves the way that you look in them. The size difference is only three or four inches (I've seen people say he's 6 feet, but then others say he's 6 foot 2, WHICH IS IT?!), so it's pretty easy to sneak kisses from him whenever you want them when you're together. If he sees you struggling to stay awake whilst studying, he'll softly close your book and drag you over to your bed for a couple hours so you can take a quick nap to regain the energy. I don't really know his temperament that well, he has to be rather even-tempered to deal with those hooligans he calls the rest of BTS, so I feel like you wouldn't have that many fights. You both are always striving to help each other to be the best versions of each other you can be. You joined the boys on vacation at a lake house and one night you were having dinner and he blushed after you said something cheeky to him, causing you to say to him, "You look like a cute tomato when you blush, my cutie pie." in front of the other members. Needless to say, he turned even more red and the boys teased him mercilessly for the rest of the night. Don't know how the cooking would go (this boy is a DISASTER in the kitchen), but you would have fun learning new dishes. He would brag about getting a dish right, and you quickly praise him but also say, " and that's why you a big ass head.", causing him to die laughing. He is the very definition of a hard worker, and I feel like he would love being praised and doing the same for his significant other, so I'm glad that you said that you liked the words of affirmation love language, because GET READY. He's definitely been buffing up (I SCREAM WHENEVER I SEE PICTURES OF HIM NOWADAYS), so
his hugs would always be the best things, so warm and comforting. Don't know how you feel about children? We've all seen that VLive where this idiot literally bought baby shoes because he thought they were cute, so I think he would definitely want children down the road in your relationship if you were both comfortable with it. Best father and husband award goes to him.
In conclusion: SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMP. SIMPPPPPPPPPPPP.
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borathae · 5 years
Note
Hey... about the drabbles? Could you do one where you're supposed to have a first date with one of them but either you or he gets in a minor accident but has to stay at the hospital overnight and the other person is extremely hurt and therefore angry bc their (hard to get) trust was "used to hurt them" but then they find out and it's fluffy? And could you maybe do it with yoongi bc atm I'm so soft for him like 🥺 Thank you, love your work❤ ~procrastinating anon
Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff 
Warnings: low self-esteem, self-hatred, heartbreak, descriptions of minor injuries nothing major I promise, so much pain and sadness; but I promise the ending is fluffy and healing
Wordcount: 2k (I’m so bAD AT KEEPING THINGS SHORT jsjsjs)
a/n: I apologize for the total angst fest in the beginning jsjsjsj. This was not how I actually planned it, but I let my feelings flow free soooo I’m sorry? 🤧😂 also lisTEN I relate so muCH I’m so goddamn soft for Yoongi lately, this man owns my heart 🥺😭 I hope you enjoy this cute little drabble and I love youuu!  💜
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Today you were supposed to have your first date with a cute guy, who you had been chatting with for quite some time now. Two months and six days to be exact. Min Yoongi was his name. Min Yoongi was currently working as a music producer, he was the proud father of a brown toy poodle named Holly and had a soft spot for holding hands. His hair was dark, almost black with the ends twisted in soft locks. His eyes, the prettiest eyes you had ever seen, made you giddy just thinking about them. Oh how many hours you have spend getting lost in them when you looked through the many selcas he had sent you.
At first you didn’t even want to accept his chat-request, too scared made you the thought of talking to someone again feel. Quite honestly you had terribly bad luck in your relationships – lovers and friends alike – you got cheated on, got used and abandoned when you were no longer of use, got called ‘not lovable’ and worse things you don’t even want to think about anymore. So downloading “the best dating app on earth” – so your best friend called it – was the scariest thing you had done in forever, followed by pressing “accept” on Yoongi’s request to chat and actually answering his dorky but loveable first message.
Yoongi turned out to be the sweetest and most understanding guy – person actually – you had ever talked to. He listened to your worries and told you without a hint of hesitation that he would love it if things would developat a speed you were comfortable with and that you can take as much as time as you needed.
He agreed on your terms to not rush meeting in person, because god that would make you practically have a full-on panic attack. That was the first time you had honestly smiled in a long time, rereading his message over and over again, you weren’t able to believe your luck.
Time passed and with it your trust grew. You were chatting on a daily basis with him by now, wishing him a good morning and waiting excitedly for his good night phone calls at exactly ten twenty every night. You felt totally comfortable with him. You felt safe to be yourself around him, even if it was just through the phone. You felt sexy when you noticed the way his eyes travelled over your features when phones calls weren’t enough anymore and they turned into video calls. You felt loved and you were pretty sure the warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest every time you thought of him was love too.
So when Yoongi asked you if you wanted to meet up in person soon, your heart practically did somersaults in your chest. You had never typed “Yes!” faster in your life and judging by his quick answer neither had he.
The date was settled, two days from now you will meet each other in a little corner café. You couldn’t sleep in excitement, your mind was practically racing with scenarios of your date.
When the time finally came, you spend the entire day getting ready for your date, washing your hair, moisturizing every inch of your skin, picking out the perfect outfit. You showed up an hour earlier than arranged, just so you could mentally prepare yourself for finally seeing him in person. You were so excited.
One hour passed. Half an hour passed. You sent him a quick text asking if he was running late. He went online, typed and went offline before his message was able to reach you.
Two hours had passed since you came here. You quickly send Yoongi another message, asking him if he forgot about today.
Half an hour passed. No answer, no calls, no nothing.
Another thirty minutes pass and here you are still sitting at the corner café and waiting for him.  
Today should have been epic, exciting, remarkable, unforgettable. You were so sure it would bring a smile to your face every time you think about it. How could you be so wrong about that? You trusted him, you believed him when he told you he wouldn’t use you, you ate up his promises of support and comfort without as much as patting your stupid eyelashes.
You call him. It rings once then his voice mail tells you he isn’t available right now. He really rejected your call just like that.
So he just used you. You should blame him and be angry at him, but truth be told you weren’t. You were just hurt, so deeply hurt you have to look down your chest for a moment to see if you were actually bleeding. You honestly feel like you do.
Without any hesitation you block his number, block his social media profiles and delete all of his pictures. And just like that he is out of your life, your ability to trust is ruined for another year and your heart is broken.
Three days pass where your life consists of nothing more than crying yourself awake, forcing yourself to go to work and then continuing where you had left of in the morning when you go to sleep. You would have probably continued your daily routine if an unknown number hadn’t called you on the morning of your fourth day. The caller turns out to be Kim Seokjin, best friend of Yoongi who had stolen your number out of Yoongi’s notebook and who had made it his plan to explain everything.
Yoongi had gotten into an accident on the day of your date. The “idiot” – so Seokjin called him – walked into the busy street and got hit by a car because he was in the midst of typing out a message. He was lucky, nothing major happened. His right shoulder got dislocated and whilst getting thrown across the street he hit his head, resulting in a slight concussion. The entirety of guardian angels must have been with him on that day, so Seokjin said, the doctors told him such an accident results in death or life-changing injuries most of the times.  
As quickly as possible you are the hospital Yoongi is currently recovering at and find yourself standing in front of his room with shaking hands. Would it be awkward between the two of you after everything that had happened? What if you look at him and won’t feel the same warm love you had felt for him before?
A nurse opens the door before you can even knock, eyeing from head to toe before greeting you with a bright smile. It’s now or never. With held breath you enter the small hospital room.
“Yoongi?”you almost whisper, tiptoeing to his bed.
You have to take a deep breath when you finally take a look at him. All the feelings you wanted to push down and forget come rushing back into your heart, overwhelming you. You stumble back, holding onto the footboard of his bed.
He looks just as beautiful as he did through the phone screen, maybe even prettier if you were being honest. Even in his current asleep state he is able to take your breath away.  His eyes are closed, his lips slightly parted as steady breaths make his chest heave up and down. He looks so peaceful and calm, despite the white bandages covering the entire top part of his head and his right arm resting in a black sling.
Waking him up feels so cruel, but god, leaving him without having said hello feels so much worse. So you call his name loudly and gently tap his foot. He stirs, licking over his lips and swallows. His eyes flutter open. He mumbles your name, totally confused and still half-asleep.
“Hey”, yousay shyly.
“Hey, wow what a nice dream, these pain meds are awesome”, he murmurs, closing his eyes again.
“This isn’t a dream. I’m really here”, you chuckle.
“Seriously?” he gasps, surprisingly high-pitched for his normally deep voice. He sits up abruptly, hissing when hot pain rushes through his shoulder.
“Careful”, you rush to his side and help him sit up with a hand on his upper back, “you are still hurt.”
You sit down at the corner of his bed, careful not to hurt him.
“Yeah, for a second I nearly forgot about that”, he chuckles in pain, “how do you even know I am here? I thought you blocked me.”
You cringe at his words. So he noticed.
“Uhm, yeah I have. I, I mean had. I kind of had a slight mental breakdown when you ditched me at the café and I blocked you everywhere and deleted all of your pictures and basically locked your memory behind a big steel door in my mind and I swore to myself to never trust again.”
“Understandable”, Yoongi says. He takes your hand, squeezing it gently. You don’t even realise his gesture, too lost in rambling your thoughts out loud. It makes Yoongi tighten his hand around yours just all the more as a fond smile hushes over his face. You are so adorable when you rant like this and forget everything around you.
“But then your friend Seokjin called me”, you continue as if nothing happened, “and explained everything and now I feel like a total idiot for ever believing that you used me and at first I didn’t even want to come because I was too embarrassed, but then I started to miss you and-“, you pause to take a look at Yoongi.
A fond smile sits on his face, his eyes sparkle in adoration. Heat washes over your face as you start to blush vividly. You can’t even look into his eyes right now.
“I was rambling again. I’m so sorry. You probably think that I’m crazy right now”, you cringe, “sorry.”
“Actually I was thinking how cute you are right now”, Yoongi says softly, giving your hand another squeeze.
One you finally feel and one that sends in your body into complete overdrive. Your heart starts racing, your whole face becomes as red as a tomato, you stutter an answer but give up when you can’t even get out one basic word.
“I’m glad that you came”, he breathes.
You smile as an answer, squeezing his hand.
“It’s not an outfit I would normally wear nor is the location nice for a first date, but I hope that, I don’t know, it is still enough to give me a second chance?” he asks, almost scared.
“Of course it’s enough, it wasn’t your fault that you missed our date. I know that now”, you reassure him, making him smile, “besides I think you look cute in that hospital gown. I like the little pandas on the fabric”, you giggle, touching one of the dozens of animals on his shirt.
Right above his heart, you can feel it speed up underneath your fingertip at your gesture.
“Just wait until you see the back, because there is basically none.”
“Oh my god Yoongi”, you gasp at the mental picture of Yoongi sitting here with his butt all bared and naked.
“I’m wearing underwear don’t worry”, he laughs.
“What a relief”, you giggle, lowering your head in giddiness.
He pulls you closer to his body, making you scoot up the bed until he can wrap his arm around your middle comfortably and your back is rested against his side. You are careful not to put too much pressure on his body in order not to hurt him, despite your body wanting to basically sink into his arms. God finally being able to feel his touch, his warmth, his heartbeat is even better than you had imagined.
“Please stop me if this is too fast for you. And also I know you don’t really start a first date by kissing the other person, but-“, he inhales shakily, staring at your lips longingly, “-can I kiss you?”
“Yes please”, you whisper, leaning closer to his body.
His hand comes to rest on the back of your neck, your own cups his cheek. You are staring at each other for as long as possible, mesmerized by the other. Only when your lips brush over his and a gentle sigh leaves his throat do your eyes flutter closed and the feeling of his soft lips on yours drowns you in warmth.
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bnha-hcs · 6 years
Note
*breathes* I've been haunted by the "wait for me" trope; may I ask for a scenario where Todoroki's crush accidentally slips that she loves him, but he doesn't catch it and she leaves it hoping he doesn't think too much about it. But he does. And he realizes. So he brings her to talk and feelings are exchanged; he admits he loves her back but he's got a lot going on but he doesn't want to lose her, so if she's willing, would she wait for him? I'm really sorry if that's a lot to ask!
Decided to do some requests bc I’m still waiting on my doctors to figure shit out and its,,, taking forever so I’m running out of things to do that don’t have me doing too much alsjdalkd. I know it’s late on a lot of these but better late than never yeah? 
Also I finally caught up with the manga oh my gods it’s been 5000 years
- Tiki
You stand there in complete silence- thoroughly mortified about what you had just let slip in such casual conversation. There’s no telling what could happen at this point and you weren’t sure if you should try to apologize or just own up to the fact that you had just accidentally confessed your feelings to Todoroki. For a second you weren’t even sure if he even heard you, until you looked over and saw his blue and brown eyes searching your face for any semblance- any indication that you had been lying, or joking, or something.
Todoroki didn’t look like he was going to say anything anytime soon, leaving you to hurry up and pick a course of action. He looks… uncomfortable, and actually a little flustered. Specifically, he even looks like he’s lost a bit of his cool/aloof nature and you’re very afraid you’ve actually ruined any sort of friendship the two of you even had. Is he mad?? Is he upset with you?? You scramble to think of what to say, and before you can stop yourself, words are pouring out of your mouth in a mad dash to keep whatever dignity and friendship you had left.
“Um!! I mean don’t think anything of what I just said… In fact, just forget I said anything alright??” You manage out, stumbling over a few words here and there.
NO response.
Crap, you’ve definitely fucked up. Surely this is where everything goes out the window and now it’s time to make a hasty retreat. So you scramble to get your things and get going, making your move to leave. As soon as you bid your quick goodbye in the form of a quiet squeak you feel the hold of his hand on your wrist, and look to see a look of utter confusion on his face matched with pleading eyes. You’ve never seen such a look on Todoroki’s face before and you’re unsure of what to even make of it. Out of habit you freeze and wait for whatever he looks like he’s about to say.
“I’m sorry, what did you mean? I’m a little confused…” He says, his face scrunching up a little bit as he looks lost in thought. You physically deflate at his words.
Oh GOOD he doesn’t actually know what you said thank g o d s. You let out a large sigh and force a sheepish smile onto your face, freeing your wrist from his grasp and waving your hand a bit.
“It’s okay Shouto! Don’t worry about it.” You say quickly, taking a step away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
This time you don’t give him any room you stop you, and successfully make your retreat this time. You almost run back to the dorms, eager to find solace in the safety of your room and to wallow in your embarrassment by yourself, and rightfully so. You were still mortified with yourself, and are sure you wouldn’t be able to look Todoroki in the eyes the next few days. Gods... maybe if you were lucky he’d just forget about the whole thing altogether. But you’d never be that lucky. Todoroki was aloof but you were dead sure he wasn’t that aloof.
As soon as you were back to your dorm room you threw yourself on the bed and contemplated on whether you needed to fake your own death or not. Your over dramatic ass tried to list off friends who could possibly help you disappear, but figured you’d have a better chance just accepting what happened than trying to suddenly drop from the grid and become a hermit. Groaning into your pillow you roll over and set your alarms for tomorrow, deciding to sleep off your days events.
------
The alarms went off and you had to, unfortunately, get up and get ready to face the day. As soon as you brought your phone to your face and shut off the alarms to stop the assault on your poor eardrums, you found a text from Todoroki waiting for you, having been sent only a few minutes before you got up. As soon as you saw it waiting in your messages you could feel your soul leaving your body and the emergency systems in your brain start to malfunction. At some point you were sure someone could hear you screaming in your mind as you tapped on the message to read its contents.
‘Sorry it’s early, but could we talk before class?’
Quickly, you texted out a reply, making about 500 typos and then having to spend more time fixing them than actually typing it up. It didn’t help that you were hardly coherent from waking up about 2 minutes prior. Finally you had hit send and waited for a reply, biting your lip a little too hard.
‘Sure!! Same place as yesterday?’
‘That’s fine’
You practically shoot yourself out of bed to get dressed and make yourself look like you didn’t just sleep for about 15 hours because holy hell you were sure you looked like a disaster right now. I mean… you ARE a disaster, but you couldn’t let anyone actually k n o w, let alone Todoroki of all people good gods. So you shove on your uniform and haphazardly brush through your hair so you could quickly jump over to the bathroom and brush your teeth, put on deodorant, etc.
As you’re finishing up your flurry of things you realize you hadn’t asked when the hell you were supposed to be there, having just assumed that he meant as soon as possible. Well… if you went now you wouldn’t have to run the risk of running into anyone. So instead of confirming a time to be there, you decided to stick to your plan of getting there as soon as possible, not exactly caring if it was a little too early. Maybe you could find a vending machine somewhere and get a drink in case you had to wait…
You sighed and threw your bag over your shoulder, checking your phone as you exit your room and make your way down, and out of the dorms. Just as you had thought, not many people were up and you were lucky enough to slip past them and out the door without having to say a thing. Maybe they were also half asleep and just hadn’t the energy to talk yet. Either way you were grateful. With a quick pace you headed back to where you were yesterday- a small courtyard around the school grounds that you’d often study at if the weather permitted. After a while of being friends with Todoroki, the two of you had made it a habit to meet there and study together or just hang out between other things in your busy lives.
Rounding the corner you choked on your spit seeing Todoroki was already there, and you had to make peace with dying from choking as you avoided hacking up a lung and looking like a huge idiot. Just great… Your face was already red and your voice was going to sound stressed. And he must’ve heard your muffled choking noises because he turned around, his soft face catching the morning sun as he squinted to see you. So you hurried your way over for his sake, seeing as it would do neither of you any good if you just loafed around like a piece of wet lettuce.
“Um, hey!” You squeaked out, stopped just a bit in front of him. “So what did you want to talk about?”
There’s a pause, and you watch him shift his hands, like he isn’t sure what or where to put them. He settles for awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, a blush dusting his cheeks as he struggles to look at you. You watch with much anxiety and anticipation, not used to… well… any of this.
“I realized what exactly you meant yesterday…” He starts, choosing his words carefully. “And I’m sorry I didn’t understand at first but…”
But??? But what?? Oh gods you knew it, you knew he was going to reject you- you knew you never stood a chance of ever being with someone like him. You knew… you’d start to cry sooner or later but as soon as you had the flood of thoughts scrambling for purchase through your head you could feel the tears pricking your eyes and the heaviness of rejection settling in your head.
“I’m not really good at… these kind of things.” He says simply, and part of you is relieved but you aren’t exactly sure that can stop steeling yourself for whatever he has to say. He looks up at you, eyes locking with yours, his gaze as heavy as your head felt and you find your breath catching in your throat. He sighs, looking away again before he begins to inch closer.
Todoroki reaches out and you resist the urge to shy away, knowing that if you did, you’d never be able to witness such tenderness from him again. So you move a bit closer on your own and meet him halfway. His right hand moves to cup the side of you face, thumb swiping over your cheek with a feeling that has you at a loss of words. You’re not even sure if you should speak right now, and wait for him to make his next move. Todoroki has a look of pure adoration of you in his eyes and you feel his hand waver a bit and a slight look of sadness flickers in his eyes for a quick second.
“I realized what you said and then I realized I…” He pauses his other hand going to cup the other side of your face, “I love you, too.”
The feeling is suffocating- his hands, his words, his face as it’s so close and so far from yours, and then the feeling in the pit of your stomach that has you thinking that it’s too good to be true. The warm blush that’s spread across your face has you feeling dizzy, like you can’t quite focus on anything but his touch, and the sound of his voice. You sigh prematurely and you watch him look away for a second.
“Shouto…” You breathe out.
“I love you so much, (Y/N), but I- we can’t be together right now.”
“Wh.. What?” You ask incredulously. “What do you mean?”
You can feel the tears pricking in your eyes again, and the sinking of your stomach as a pang grabs at the deepest depths of your chest. You could hardly keep your voice from wavering as you spoke. He can tell you’re upset, and surely this was just as hard for him to explain as it was for you to listen and accept it.
“Just, as I am now, I wouldn’t be able to be there for you. And we’re both still changing and growing so it wouldn’t be good for either of us.” He sighs, looking around like he’s anxious until he resumes, keeping his tender gaze with you and his hands still gently holding your face. “But I don’t want to lose you.”
It’s hard to keep the feelings buried in you so you let a sniffle out, and few tears roll down your face, which are quickly wiped away by the boy in front of you. You want so hard to hide your face- to bury it in your hands and hide the tears you’ve been trying so hard to keep back, but all you can do is reach up and grasp one the the hands Todoroki has cupping your face. You lean into his touch, nodding to his words as they slowly process in your mind.
“(Y/n),” He beckons your name so you’ll look up at him, giving you a small smile. “I know I’m asking a lot but, will you wait for me?”
It takes you a second to actually process any single word that he just said and you half blame the inebriated state that you’ve been in this whole time and the whirlwind of emotions that you’ve been through had you second guessing your comprehensive skills. And before he knew it, you had broken his hold on you and leapt into his arms, burying your face in whatever place you could put it. His arms circle around you and for a few moments the two of your stand there, completely content in each other’s presence. His face buries itself in your hair and he places a small kiss on the top of your head.
“Of course I’ll wait for you!” You gasp, pulling your head from his chest and making him lift his head. “I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
For a second he looks surprised as he looks down at you, like he didn’t expect you to say yes. And then a smile makes its way into his face, slowly, and he can’t help showing his delight. Without much warning he leans down and quickly presses his lips against yours. It’s quick, and in a way it’s very bitter sweet as you quickly go to reciprocate the affection, knowing full well it’ll be the last you’ll ever get in a while. You try to embed into your mind the feeling of his lips on yours, and you know very well that he is probably doing just the same. The tickling shiver that flutters up your spine is foreign, but definitely not unwelcome and part of you wonders when you’ll be able to indulge in something like this everyday. And just as you thought, the moment the two of you part, you feel a loss at the lack of contact.
You feel Todoroki’s breath fan across your face and resist the urge to lean back in for another kiss. And so the two of you part further, going back to standing together, and somehow acting like that didn’t just happen. You share a look with him and with a nod the two of you head off to class, Todoroki looking like he’s puffed up a little, probably due to the fact that he didn’t think you’d say yes. You found it endearing, to say the least.
There’s nothing much to say as you walk, a comfortable silence, and you find yourself still a little confused in your feelings. Sure you’re still muddled in sadness at the fact that were both rejected and not rejected at the same time. You weren’t quite sure where to place anything in your heart just yet. The only thing you knew is that you’d have to wait for him, for however long it takes. And you were just fine with that.
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kinksvt · 6 years
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→ pairing: wonwoo x reader
♕ summary: you and wonwoo had been friends for a while but after some unknown tension, that changes.
✱ genre/warnings: friends to lovers!au, talks about sex/smut related themes, nothing too explicit
✱ word count: 3k+
part 2
a/n: theres going to be a few parts bc i didnt know tumblr had a block limit or w/e its called so it stops at a random point, im sorry!
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you went over to seungcheol's house where he and the rest of the twelve boys were hanging out—courtesy of your friend dropping you off. they said that they were bored and you were the only person that could hype them up and make it not so boring. you weren't exactly close to each one of them. joshua was shy around you, jun was always awkward and never knew what to say, same goes with seungkwan and dino. but you were closest with cheol, jeonghan, minghao, wonwoo and mingyu—knowing wonwoo for the longest. the rest were kind of your friends, still kind of like acquaintances. "what did you bring this time, y/n?" cheol asked, getting up from the couch where jeonghan and wonwoo also sat.
"i brought alcohol of course, and pizza." you replied, already feeling a bit tipsy after drinking a few beers before arriving.
"no alcohol for me but i'll take some pizza." dino said, standing and helping you with everything.
"i knew that you wouldn't want any so i brought backup soda." you carried a liter of pepsi and set it on cheol's kitchen countertop. all the boys got up and gathered in the kitchen, it was clear that they haven't ate yet so it was good you brought enough for them each. you smiled a bit when you felt a large hand rest on your shoulder. "you're too kind to us, y/n." a deep voice whispered, dangerously close to your ear which sent shivers down your spine.
you turned and saw wonwoo smirking. "you scared me." playfully hitting his chest, you got pizza with the rest of the boys and headed back into seungcheol's huge living room. there was a large flatscreen tv, a decent sized coffee table, two couch chairs and three long couches. although there was plenty of room for everyone to be seated, jihoon, soonyoung, joshua and dino sat on the floor, closer to the tv. you sat on the couch between cheol and jeonghan with the pizza in your lap and another beer in your hand. wonwoo came shortly afterwards and sat right in front of you.
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cheol ended up putting a scary movie on, which he knew was one your favorites. every now and then you'd feel wonwoo's hair slightly brush your leg, causing you to get goosebumps. you couldn't lie and say that you never thought of him in a, not very appropriate sort of way before. he was extremely attractive—to say the least—with a deep voice, amazing talent, a caring yet dominant personality. and not to mention he's always around you and wanting to become closer to you. texting you, hanging out with you when he can, inviting you over to his house, parties, etc. he was sweet and kind in general but for some reason, when it was with you, it felt different. you weren't the only person who noticed either.
a few months ago, jihoon and some of the other guys mentioned the situation saying how he treated you differently than how he treated them and other girls. wonwoo was obviously appealing so he did have numerous girls trying to get with him around school. either trying to get with him, or in his pants. jihoon said that he'd always turn them down, ignore or just walk the other way, clearly uninterested. jun agreed and said that before you came into the picture and got close, wonwoo used to accept girls and have loads of them in his bedroom every night. he never tried to have a relationship, just a one night stand or a hookup every once a while. you clearly thought it was weird and a bit suspicious, but you never were the kind of person to draw conclusions and assumptions to stimulate your own fantasies of having the infamous jeon wonwoo as your own. he and you always talked and were closer than anyone else. sometimes he would flirt with you on the down low, but you always thought it was just friendship humor between the two of you. so you played along. you two would flirt and be suggestive around one another, compliment, call each other "babe" and say "i love you," but you never really thought of it being serious until that point. you had hoped your feelings weren’t one sided..
but even before that, that didn't stop you or your imaginations of being with him. innocently, or sinfully. you had to be honest, you did find yourself a bit turned on while thinking about his slender, long fingers inside you or tangled in your hair while you sucked him off. or how his skillful tongue would feel flicking against your clit and eating you out until you saw stars. or, how his length would stretch and fill you up.
in midst of your thoughts, a weight hit and landed on your shoulder, making you silently wince in pain. you quickly looked to your left and saw that jeonghan had fallen asleep and tipped over onto you. quietly thinking, you gently held his head and moved up to let him lay down. while doing that, you accidentally bumped wonwoo in the back with your legs, quietly apologizing in return. wonwoo turned around instantly and saw you, he smiled. you continued moving jeonghan slightly so he wouldn't wake up in pain. you knew how badly it sucked when that happened after sleeping wrong. when your work was done, you smiled to yourself and felt a tap on your back. "do you want to sit down here with me?" wonwoo whispered when you turned around. you nodded but motioned for him to wait a minute. you got up and grabbed two blankets, one for you and one for jeonghan. you covered him up and then sat on the ground against the couch next to wonwoo. "are you cold?" you asked him, genuinely concerned.
"uh, yeah actually, a bit." wonwoo replied quietly that only you could hear. smiling, you moved the blanket so it covered both you and wonwoo, but it was too small, wonwoo’s left knee was still exposed and part of his thigh. wonwoo silently groaned, then scooted closer to you, rubbing against your arm and knee. "there." he smiled as he fixed the blanket on his side, covering his legs.
you gulped. you felt so close to wonwoo. you could feel the temperature of his skin against yours. you didn't know what to do. you could practically hear your heart beating fast and hard against your chest—you were surprised that wonwoo, or the others weren't able to either. the rest of the boys were awake and still watching the movie, for the most part. some were dozing off, some were going to head home, telling cheol goodbye.
at the end of the movie, only jeonghan, seungcheol, jihoon, wonwoo, minghao, vernon and seungkwan remained in the living room.
cheol chose the next movie which, to your luck, was 50 shades of grey.
"ah, hyung why this movie?" the second youngest in the room complained.
"yeah, do you know how awkward we'll all feel? 'specially y/n!" seungkwan agreed with vernon.
seungcheol gave them both a look and turned his head over to you. "y/n, do you mind if we watch this?"
you swallowed dryly, your heart still continuing to beat rapidly. "uhm, i mean, i guess not? whatever you all want.." you silently cursed seungcheol for putting you on the spot.
seungcheol innocently smiled, "then i take that as a no, you don't mind." he put on the movie and headed back to the recliner he occupied.
suddenly wonwoo whispered in your ear, "why did you agree to this, y/n?" his breath fanned your ear, sending another round of chills through your body and heat to your core.
you weren't sure if he knew what he was doing to you. your heart still continued pounding, "i-i don't know, i didn't want to rain on anyone's parade." that technically wasn't a total lie.
wonwoo laughed slightly by your ear, "how thoughtful of you."
you turned your head, his face inches apart from yours. "thank you." you replied as calmly as you possibly could.
his eyes studied your face, then dropped down to your lips for a split second. wonwoo smirked slightly and licked his own, then nodded.
as he was about to turn his attention to the movie, you quietly said his name. "wonwoo.."
he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "yes?"
your heart felt like it was going to burst at any moment. you wanted to kiss him. you wanted to grab his face and taste him, feel his soft tongue against yours. you wanted to feel his lips against your neck, his hands at your throat. everything. you wanted him so badly. "i..i’m going to make popcorn," you quickly got up and stumbled to the kitchen. you needed to get out of there. you could barely breathe, you needed to collect yourself and calm down. searching for the box of popcorn, you tried to slow down your breathing. you opened the bag and put it in the microwave, then set the time. you sat at the island waiting for it to finish. mentally slapping yourself, you couldn't get his lips out of your mind. you were so close to just leaning in and kissing the hell out of that boy. you rested your head against the cool marble top, gently banging your head against it, wishing that jeon wonwoo wasn't such a fucking god that you just wanted to pounce on every time you see him.
"you okay?" a voice said from in front of you.
you sighed before responding, “yeah i'm okay.” it was minghao, the red haired boy examined you closely, "you sure?"
"yeah, it’s just.." you sighed once more, laying your head on the table. the microwave began to beep, signaling the popcorn was done. minghao walked briskly over and got it out, setting it near you. "hao?" you asked, head still down.
"yes y/n?" you heard the chair next to you scrape gently on the wood floor.
lifting your head up, you leaned in closer to him, just so that wonwoo—or any of the other awoken boys—wouldn't have a chance of hearing. “what do you do if you like someone but you're just too afraid of ruining what you already have with them?" you were ready to spill.
minghao puffed his cheeks and furrowed his eyebrows, a look of confusion taking over his soft features. "oh, uh,” he paused for a second. “hmm, well, i don't really know."
"i don't know if i'm in love with him or if it's just a little infatuation."
"oh wow, who is it? if you don't mind telling me." you could tell minghao was genuinely interested and curious.
you glanced over to the living room, making sure wonwoo hadn't popped up and peeping on you two.
"WAIT." minghao said, a little too loudly.
"shh!" you hushed, quickly covering his mouth. "please, don't tell and keep it down." he mumbled an "okay" into your hand. his own reaching to your wrist to take it away. you grabbed his shoulder and put your lips near his ear, "it's wonwoo." you quickly moved away and hid your face.
"oh, psh, i knew that."
"how did you-" he cut you off by rolling his eyes.
"oh come on. i've seen the way you look at him, the way you act with him, the way you get when you're next to him."
"b-but it's just friendly things though! we-"
"what's friendly about calling each other babe, saying i love you, flirting, smiling at each other as if you two were the only ones in the world, and falling asleep on each other?"
you glared at him while he smiled, showing his teeth like a child. "shut up, i just don't know if i like him, love him, or lust over him."
"well, maybe it's not just a crush? to me it seems like its not. besides, i've seen the way you act around him. it's completely different than when you're with the others."
"oh whatever. it's not that obvious."
"y/n. come on. you stare at him with total heart eyes, you always giggle around him, you look at him up and down, you have that shine in your eyes. i bet your pupils grow a thousand times bigger by just thinking of him."
"stopppp." you said, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.
"see? you're blushing! you're so adorable." minghao laughed and put his hands on both of your shoulders.
"if you don't stop teasing me i swear to god xu minghao i will-“
"y/n?"
you and minghao faced the living room to see wonwoo standing there, confused.
minghao moved his hands off your shoulder and held back a smile. "good luck," he whispered in your ear and got up to leave the kitchen.
you punched him playfully while he laughed and you gave him a look. "hey wonwoo. what's up?"
"i was just, wondering where you were. you were taking a while and then minghao left and came here so.." wonwoo stood there awkwardly.
why was he being like this? it's as if he were nervous, anxious.
"aw, that's sweet wonwoo, i was just talking with minghao and lost track of time."
"oh,” was all that he replied with.
you grabbed the bag of popcorn and walked to him. "come on," smiling, you put your hand on his back and guided him back to the living room.
"guys, want any popcorn?" wonwoo asked the boys, but they were all too interested in the raunchy movie. "guess it'll be just for us." he sat in his previous spot while you did the same.
time passed and the movie began to get a bit more dirty. seungkwan was right, you did feel awkward. especially being next to wonwoo, who couldn't stop moving around. "is something wrong, wonwoo?" you said quietly into his ear.
"what? oh, uhm-" he coughed lightly, "yeah i'm fine, why?"
you giggled, "you keep moving and clearing your throat. are you sure you're alright?"
he visibly swallowed and smirked the slightest. he leaned over to your ear, "i'm sure y/n. i'm fine." he smiled sweetly, assuring you he was indeed fine. "what about you? are you alright?" you felt his hand touch your inner thigh, subconciously making you clench them together. you shuddered and nodded. he hummed, "mm, you sure?" he innocently began squeezing your thigh, a habit he developed long ago into letting you know he's there for you.
you swallowed back a moan and grabbed his hand, then moved him closer, "i'm sure."
neither of you were sure.
as the different sex scenes came up and you couldn't help but imagine that wonwoo was christian and you were anastasia.
before, you thought that this kind of relationship was extremely weird. being tied up, spanked, overstimulated, etc. it all seemed so..not ordinary. but one day, you were bored and your mind lingered over to the kink and researched more about it. now, you're pretty sure it wouldn't be all that bad, hot and arousing, even.
you glanced over at wonwoo who was clearly more into it than you, including the other boys. you looked around, seeing how all of them were focused on the movie, the brightness shining their eyes. moans and slaps from the movie erupted and made your ears grow warm. you looked at wonwoo, seeing his adam's apple in his throat bob. you obviously couldn't be the only one who had been affected by the movie's vulgar scenes. you felt like you needed a high power fan on your face. you weren't only turned on, but embarrassed watching this with all the other guys. how was anyone else not moving around like wonwoo? he has clearly bothered. the poor boy couldn't stay still, and the bulge in his sweatpants didn't seem so comfortable either.. you were lucky that no one could be able to read your thoughts, or who knows how they would react.
wonwoo felt the exact same way though. he couldn't stop moving around, his dick wanting nothing but friction and release. wonwoo, like you had thought as well, couldn't help but wish you two were in the movie's positions rather than christian and anastasia. he's only imagined how your moans would sound during the countless times he's gotten off to that scenario.
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"finally the movie's over!" seungkwan yelled after what seemed like forever.
seungcheol got up, heading to switch the lights back on.
"what happened?" jeonghan said suddenly, voice laced with sleep as he sat up and yawned.
"and by 'head to bed' you mean beat your meat for a bit," vernon chuckled.
the rest of the guys laughed as seungcheol looked at him, "you're not wrong." vernon looked back at him with an dramatic shocked expression while seungcheol raised his eyebrows and headed upstairs. vernon looked back at him with an dramatic shocked expression while seungcheol raised his eyebrows and headed upstairs.
"i'm going home, see ya." seungkwan sat up, grabbing his jacket.
"me too, give me a ride?" vernon asked the older, also grabbing his jacket.
"sure." the two youngest said their goodbyes and headed out the door. other members followed suit and left back home as well. with you, jeonghan, jihoon, wonwoo and minghao left, everyone tried to brainstorm ideas on what to do next. "how about truth or dare?" jihoon suggested.
"what are we, eighth graders?" jeonghan complained, rolling his eyes.
"got a better idea?" jihoon snapped back.
"yeah, actually," jeonghan paused, "anything but that."
"you're just scared that someone will give you a dare that you don't wanna do." jihoon pressed at jeonghan, wanting him to give in.
he scoffed in return, "scared? no way, i just don't wanna play that dumb game."
"then suggest a better one, yoon." minghao butted in, stopping the two from fighting.
“how about spin the bottle?"
“how's that any better than truth or dare?"
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pathfindersemail · 7 years
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I will quote you bc im afraid of messing it up: "Annoyingly enough, most self-doubt and insecurities their characters express are rooted exclusively to the LI, which I find highly problematic. As opposed to, say, the LI bringing out (by way of the need to change their relationship because the protag is not helping their relationship or if that LI is a dick) these pre-existing doubts and insecurities (which IMO is much more interesting)." I'm mostly confused with the last sentence.
Oh I see! Got you nonny. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna use a Reyder example LMAO! (I’m not obsessed...)
So I kind of like find it weird when r characters are only like... unsure or insecure about themselves if an LI is about to leave them. How many Ryder fics have I read where Ryder is scared to death that Reyes will leave them? Or, conversely, Reyes is scared to death Ryder won’t accept him for who he is? 
Now this reaction is completely natural in any imminent breakup setting (and can be in fact interesting as I have used it as a plot point), but what isn’t natural (much less interesting) is the utter lack of pre-existing insecurities and doubts that contour the resulting fights, arguments, and heartbreak.
Reyes is compelling to me because any sense of tragedy he feels should Ryder leave him stems from an already-existing insecurity he has with himself. If you did a PT where you break up with Reyes, you find out that he doesn’t connect the breakup with an existential crisis (neither explicitly nor implicitly). However, he does connect the breakup with his already-existing doubts about being able to find someone who accepts him for who he is. 
Ex:
Ryder: you’re not the man I thought you were.
Reyes: I wanted to be
And you know what fucking happens after?!
Ryder: So what now?
Reyes: We get to work
He affords himself a millisecond of authenticity and vulnerability before quickly resuming his mask as the Charlatan. This guy no longer wants to be that safe and vulnerable with someone who rejected who he was, and it almost as if he feels like Ryder confirmed his self-doubts in breaking up with him.
In the other scenario where a Ryder expresses doubt about their relationship with Reyes, I’ve seen instances where they lament the prospect of abandonment and being toyed with because of Reyes, which imo puts the fault unfairly and squarely on Reyes. 
The one fic I can think of that does this very well in connecting a troubled relationship with Reyes with the Ryders’ specific and pre-existing insecurities about their competence, morality, etc. is Substitute with Molasses by snappleducated or @smartalker:
They break up when Liam takes a shot to the arm. He'd gotten it by jumping in front of his Pathfinder, probably saving her life, as a woman in old armor and older skin swears, reloads. The reports say she'd gone down screaming about the Charlatan's whore, the Initiative's lies. Five minutes on the net show that her son hadn't survived cryo.
As usual, Ryder takes it hard. She spends the night arguing, kissing, breaking free of him. When she gets drunk enough she won't stop holding her arm, the same place Kosta had been shot. When it's just getting to early morning he coaxes her to bed and she lies awake facing him, her expression uneasy, a mess of contradictions.
“What if I had just been a regular person?” she baits him. She’s always baiting him, testing her safety nets. “I bet you wouldn’t have cared about me at all.”
Now, the subtext behind a passage like this, is that Ryder isn’t just worried/guilty about people under her command being hurt; she isn’t just upset that her intimacy with Reyes got other people hurt. Yes these things hold true, but what the writer ultimately reveals is that the Pathfinder doesn’t really regret paying this price to be with Reyes (”as usual”... how many times has this happened?!). What bothers her is that, in order to undo all the damage she believes she caused, she must go back to being normal or a “regular person” - a person she believes Reyes has no interest in. 
“What if I had just been a reegular person?” she baits him
My god what a powerful action word. She is baiting, which speaks volumes about her feelings of guilt, self-awareness, and pre-existing doubts about who she is as the Pathfinder and who she is as just “Ryder.” The two are held in tension throughout the short story, and it is only when she is alone with Reyes does it unravel. Why? Because he, as the LI, brings out these insecurities, one of which is her inability to dissociate herself from her political role, identity, and responsibility. 
I actually super recommend this fic for being able to weave together two messed up people and how their beautiful relationship brings it out to make something worthwhile and better.
I hope this clears up what I mean about characters who are insecure BECAUSE of their LI vs characters who have always been insecure and their LI brings it out (to cope or to exacerbate). I find the latter more interesting because it progresses plot, for one, and it also gives the protag room to grow apart from the LI.
Thanks again!
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survivor-kuwait · 5 years
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Episode 4 - “I'm tryna figure out this vote like magnifying glass emoji." - Matt S
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So naturally I’m panicking because I’m so sure I’m going to warzone, and the last thing I wanna do is be the swap vote out. I’m enjoying the Ma’an Tribe and just being able to talk to people, especially Kait and Owen. So far I only have individual conversations but maybe tribal will actually allow me to make alliances. I hate saying that cause I would never ask to go to tribal unless I really had to.
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Challenge update. I think i have decent scores. Will they keep me from the bottom 5? Who knows but im trying my best. Im trying hard in the first game because i think thats the lowest score. Also FUCK multitask. That is very hard. I just want to be safe this round and figure shit out with Nehe, Stephen, and Trace. I have a little rant about Nehe coming up soon. 🤭 Oo I wanted to scream to Renee not to say anything till the votes were read. I knew she was gunna say something when it was a 3-3 tie and she unmuted. It was a big MOOD tho. I just hope she is able to stay safe. I do trust her a lot.
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So we recently switched and I still don't know who is on my tribe lol. I am still with Kait which is great! I am with Owen, Stevie and Madison who I spoke to briefly, Matt who I just met, Chloe who I have always wanted to meet, and some new faces such as Timmy, Renee, and Jacob. I always love a tribe with a bit of everything.
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Hello diary room how are you? I am making money moves. Connecting to my “tribe” members. Even Trace. The only bitch i don’t care to be friends w is Maynor bc he stinks of Renee’s brainwash. As we all know, Renee hates me and wants me out etc etc. I am doing what I can to protect myself if I end up going to tribal. All i can hope for is that, if renee is at tribal, maynor isn’t as I would have 4 who would have my back from my tribe. That’s 5 votes. If I can get Matt or Madison or someone else on the other tribe to come with, it’s Au Revoir René. I don’t think I’ll be immune as I only had about 3 hours to work on these 5 flashgames but who knows. I trust Adrian. I hate to say that but I do! I quite like Ian and want to trust him but it’ll take time. I believe Devon has my best interest at heart. Okay that’s all for today x
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Just played Axon and I hate this game soooooo much. I play Minecraft all day and spam click all the time but this game is gonna give me carpal tunnel I sware. My arm hurts so much. I guess it’s time to go to multitask
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I have been trying to beat my scores in these flash games and i cant. I dont think they are good enough to keep me from the bottom 5. I’m really nervous to be in warzone with people i havent worked with before. Jshdiw i hope i couls find that idol tonight. Ill feel better if I have it in my hands. Nehe rant. So like he said he was down to work with me and have my back. And once again for some reason has happened again. He lied to me about voting for doodle (also willing to do Stevie) because he voted for Renee, my partner! His reasoning was cuz he told me that he was told thats were the majority was so even tho he told me he trust mr, he didnt believe me when insaid that it was going to be doodle when it switched. He still wantsbto work with me so thats good and i have leverage i culd use because he told me he wanted trace gone so i could throw him under the bus if i feel like i cant trust him. Idk if i should be upset about this cuz ppl liebin survivor but in this twist trust is way more important now than in a regular season.
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Immunity or tribal it doesn't matter the game presses on. The benefit of immunity is to just build relationships with people without the risk of going home or burning my idol(side note fuck all you bitches when you inevitably turn against me an make me burn my favorite piece of jewelry). Corey has really grown on me, talk game of thrones with me and I'm alliance putty in your hands! I was happy to see Maynor again, I feel there is something there that can be fostered,  Cullan is a bit of an ignima to me still. I'll crack him though one way or another. Trace and I have begun chatting so I'm still up in the air on him and really most my tribe and people in this game. I honestly expected to be on the low end of scores for this challenge but I wasn't? Idk, double elimination means retrograde and please, please don't let it be Chloe vs Willow, I want them both to stick around and be valuable allies. If they can't keep the votes off them then as Walder Frey once said, " I'll find another."
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This warzone where 2 people are leaving is just not cute. I was not happy when I saw that. I knew I was going to be here because I did each of the flash games like once or twice and called it a day so I knew I was going to be here and I accepted that. When I saw who else was there I thought "okay, I think I can probably find people to vote with and stay safe this time around" and then BAM it's a double elimination with the vote and it totally changes the strategy of the vote. Could be more difficult to navigate. All I know is that I need to step up my social game because I haven't chatted much with people and I need to start building relationships so if I end up here again I have people that have my back. I am just struggling with the idea of working with Nehe. Longevity I don't think I want to do. Short term, sure. But I don't think I want to deal with that for the whole game. Been there, done that and I am over it. I was talking to Adrian last night and my god that was an infuriating conversation. Adrian had no idea how the warzone was operating because he hadn't been there and I just wanted to say "sis, read an effing post you lazy ass and it will make sense" It's not that hard to understand, it is just different from normal. I just hate when people don't know things because they don't want to read a post. Going back to this double elimination tribal; it is really hard to choose two targets. Being on tribes that don't seem to matter because we get scored individually makes it almost a moot point to target people for poor challenge strength because it is a pretty individual game. I guess that would be incentive to get out strong challenge performers but all of those people won so again, not a good strategy. Also everyone has just encountered different people and no one is being put together with the same people as someone else so there are a bunch of different dynamics between players, more varied than normal because we aren't forced to interact with the same people for an extended period of time. These votes have just been a lot more nerve wracking than votes normally are and making it out alive feels like more of a feat than normal. I'd say I like the extra challenge to step up the strategy because it's different, but I honestly don't. I don't need this extra anxiety about votes, no thank you. I just hope I survive this!
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New tribes yay... I miss maynor and it’s overwhelming to actually be forced to talk to more than one person lmao. But other than that it’s good and I’m safe and immune and so far everyone here seems cool... even if I can’t trust anyone because of those 3 votes I got last tribal!!!! Doodle and Stephen and maybe nehe better watch OUT
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Now that the game has finally sped up a little bit, I'm excited because I feel like I can actually play the game more. I am also ECSTATIC that I am not at this double tribal thing, because that sounds stressful and I know that avoiding it completely was the best case scenario for my game right now. I really really like Corey. Him and I have hit it off and I can see us working together really well deep into the game. I'm glad that he is safe this round too because he is probably the person I am closest to on this tribe of people I am kind of afraid of. Ian came to me and started talking as well, but something just doesn't sit well with me about him. He blew everyone out of the water in the challenge, so that will have to be something I need to think about down the line when I decide who I want to vote out. Nehemiah talked to me a lot before he went into the war zone, trying to apologize to me about voting Renee. He made it seem like I was withholding information from him which could not be further from the truth. Classic erratic Nehe again making shit up and trying to pin it on me. I want his ass out and I want it out soon. I feel like I finally have some footing in this game. Timmy and I are tight, Corey and I are tight, and I made good relationships with Renee, Madison, and Owen in the last war zone. Hopefully if I do end up going to the war zone again I'll be able to have at least a few people to work with, because right now I don't feel very comfortable on my tribe if this game were normal and we voted each other out.
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I am feeling FUCKEN PAN-tastic!! I was working last night so just read the post quickly and it said I was in the Warzone. I felt really sad and nervous but there was an error and I was actually immune. I was so happy that work didnt suck. It was a double too so Im super duper happy that I didnt end up going to tribal. I need to talk more to Ian because Me and him are talking most than others. Im also talking to Trace since he is Timmy’s partner and I want to work with him. Ive been talking to Corey for a bit. I need to make stronger connections while im safe so I can rely on them to want to work with me in the future warzones.
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I am so happy to be safe this round! I'm kind of just glossing over the tribe swap because it's barely like we're on tribes since we're competing against them. Just hoping it's 2 from the other tribe gone so that way we still have 5 people to be safe. But also it'll probably be 1 and 1. Either way someone is coming back because retrograde is activated every round 2 people leave so that's going to be interesting. Them and Nehe can start a club...unless it's Nehe again lol. Honestly let it be Nehe again because it means he won't win in the end. Like who would vote for the person who was voted out twice, once has happened, but twice, idk if people would respect that. It would be he hasn't been playing a good game since it was easy to take him out. I'm just excited that I don't have to attend tribal and I can talk to people without the stress of making plans. Matt and I have been talking and he's pretty cool. He is definitely someone I can see myself working with since he's easy to talk to so far.
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Well this twist is proving chaotic as it was intended. It appears we have a split but who the hell onows with this round. I do feel a little vulnerable with short repossess from some. I mean anyone could go home tonight.
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i will write something longer when I'm home but I'm shook???? that I won the flash game thing. Matt is my fave and I hope my boring Scorpio person goes home thx
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Do I trust that these people are gonna give me the correct information when its only 15 minutes before tribal? Not for a fucking MOMENT! But I haven't heard my name and people are like swimming between 2 names and I love both of them equally. Like this is sooooo hard. No me gusta.
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I got meself an alliance AND I somehow still haven’t gone to tribal... why am I more stressed now than I was before??? I think the fact that the game is becoming super real is what’s making me really nervous, and as much as having a solid 3 with Owen and Kait makes me extremely happy, considering I trust them more than I’ve trusted an alliance in most games, there’s still so much game left to be played, and I remember in Solomon getting swapped away from my allies and it screwing me over.... I’m shaky!
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Oop. Tribal is going to be soon. I wonder who the two that will be going. I just hope it isnt someone Ive been talking to. 2 people will be leaving so i think its going to trigger retrograde and one will be back.This warzone is really messing up strategy in this game.
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I missed two round confessionals which suck but to quickly basically sum what y’all missed. I formed the voters pact that plan was throw challenges to get to the warzone but that in it self failed cause they didn’t all throw and then doodle was voted off the next round. I also kinda got lied to about the vote so like boo. This round  in the warzone I kinda like this batch and it’s now how do we navigate the double vote out thing. I have a personal vendetta with Adrian cause I don’t trust him and Chloe is basically a non factor . So the plan since last night was always to go for those two it was just how do we go about it. I decided to make a group of 5 because it made it easier for them to willingly “choose” who they wanted to vote. And thankfully we lead them into voting chloe and Adrian. Now it’s just navigating who votes who and if the plan stays the plan. Fucking Devon is chaotic switching shit. He tried to switch the vote to willow to succumb to Thomas but who gives a fuck what Thomas is voting. I just care about the finale vote tally. I’m afraid definitely if it’s gonna be me for the fact that I don’t want to go back to the retrogade but it can easily be me. Like personally I feel like I’m always able to get people to groove in the direction I want but then I let them mingle and shit happens. I always make sure to have a hand in with everyone sonthey don’t want to turn on me but really the people I truly trust is stevie, Devon and maybe Stephen. Stephen is weirding me out shady vibes but we’ll see.
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Immunity never tasted so good! I need Adrian to be safe. I need Madison and Jacob to be safe bc I think they’re at tribal? I would like Renee and Maynor gone but they’re both safe boo hoo. I am socializing w everyone. I love Trace, Adrian, Ian. I would like Cullan gone sooner rather than later as he is hard to socialize with but I like his partner, Willow. That being said, I think everyone likes Willow. Her leaving wouldn’t be the worst thing tonight but I do stan.
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I have no sins I’m literally just sitting !!!! Kisses!!!!! Made an alliance with Matt and Kait. But you know how this is gonna turn out....? Kait and Matt are gonna get closer and at some point she will pick HIM over ME!!!! Heksjd this CYS flashback. But for now I like them. Glad that Timmy and madison are on my tribe even tho Timmy considered voting stevie.... speaking of Stevie zzzz boy rlly almost didn’t save himself Lol. But yeah I’m happy the game has shaken up and I’m excited to see what happens at this tribal. I need to really step my social game up tho so I have numbers when I’m down in that bottom ten
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I’m tryna figure out this vote like magnifying glass emoji
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It sucked thay Willow went. Hopefully she is able to come back because I feel like i had a good connection with her. Madison and Stephen survived so that was good. Right now Im hoping that i can be part of the live challenge. So I have hit M4 N4 O4 P4 and Q4. Im hoping R4 is the last one and i get something tonight at 11:30pm. I keep forgetting to do a reminder for idol guess so it keeps going back further n further.
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so happy we voted out two girls, no offense but this warzone twist makes it impossible to backstab nehe and co. effectively. Its fine, hopefully itll be over soon and I can vote his ass out. No offense to the guy but he just very controlling.
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Willow, nothing against you, but I really wanted you gone. I hated that you made it to FTC of another ORG without anything besides an idol play and I can say I am not fulfilled. Sadly, Chloe went to and it sucks because I always wanted to play with her but sadly it was short lived, for now. Hopefully Chloe wins her way back into the game!
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Of fucking course it's Chloe and Willow in the retrograde. Bastards are voting off the people I know for sure would mess up and leak it to me if I needed to play my idol. I told Corey about how Cullan is short with me and he confirmed he is short to him as well, it must just be how Cullan is. That's fine and all but makes it hard to get a read on him. Corey and I continue to get along from my perspective, more good news, I did not fuck up while I was completely wasted last night and tell someone about my idol. I have a bad track record of getting drunk and laying all my cards on the table to people. I'm not only playing against everyone in the game but also drunk Ian, and that guy is a prick.
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I did my next hit and it sunk the ship!! It’s my first time actually finding something in these idol searches. It may not have been an idol but a vote steal is a good item to have when you just need that one more vote. Im not going to tell anyone I have it. Its going to be a secret until it is used to take a big target/threat in this game.
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so far in this game im just working on building my connections! i havent gotten a vote yet which is good but i want to try and not go to tribal as much anymore bc eventually i will become a target. i feel as though my best alliance is with madison obvi since we started together and are good friends. other than that im glad adrian stayed because she is someone i could see myself working with
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Fuck this I’m tired and my fingers hurt and ugh
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Im waiting to found the retrograde duel and hopefully willow is able to come back because I have some part of connection with her. That is all for today. Oop. Bulbasaur in detective Pikachu was the cutest!!
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I got voted out bc I had a busy 2 days and I don't think my score for retrograde is very high goodbye
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