#I NEED TO NE ABLE TO DO THIS STUFF. And my stupid brain won’t LET ME. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE

[athymelyreply]

Why is my brain not WORKING. FUCK.

[lamiasluck]

Proceed With Caution

An idea I had that just wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it. In which Illinois finds a decommissioned Google and makes the wise decision to switch him on. He’s exploring an old, broken down facility because he just loves going to places he shouldn’t.

@alvie-ashgrove @emptynarration @verse2wo @theshysepticeye @juju-on-that-yeet @m4delin @ferociousfangirlofmanyfandoms @vanillacoolata

Warnings: dead bodies and rot (it’s a really old facility), implied murder, rats

-

Illinois clicked on his flashlight and looked into the decrepit hallway. He had long since travelled away from the natural light of the door he broke into. These hallways seemed like a maze; he wondered why someone needed such a huge facility. It was exciting to think about what knowledge might be here.

This place must’ve been closed for a while. Illinois first noticed that none of the lights worked, then he had the brain to realize weeds and other foliage pierced the edges of the floor’s tiles, climbing up the wall in an attempt to reclaim this vast estate.

The smell of mould and dust lingered in the air - a scent Illinois would refer to as “adventure”. All he could hear was his quiet footsteps echoing. So, he hummed a little tune to himself to fill in the empty space. Not the most lively adventure, but an adventure nonetheless. He overheard a hot tip about this place, and could barely wait to explore it himself. So excited, in fact, that he forgot about all the warnings that person gave him.

Oh well.

Many of the rooms were barren or had technology that had long since broke with age. Nothing too interesting to see. Not that he came here for treasure, but an interesting story to tell would be nice. Maybe all those warnings were to scare him. This basically was an abandoned office building now that he thinks of it. Maybe he’d get scared by unfinished paperwork.

Or something scurrying off behind him. Illinois spun around and shined his light at the source. “Oh, just a rat...” he laughed at his reaction. He could hear its squeaks going away. “Where are you going?”

Perhaps this could be his guide. Illinois found himself walking after the rat, while also looking around. Seemed to be the main areas of this place.

“Christ...” The smell here was to be desired. His pace slowed down as he covered his nose. Rotting and decay. Must be the animals that lived and died here.

Like a beacon, Illinois heard the rat squeak louder off in the distance. He still followed it out of curiosity, but that smell was getting stronger. If only he was right about it being dead animals. There was a man on the floor, at least Illinois thought it was a man, dead and rotting. Illinois covered his mouth in shock, dropping his flashlight. “Oh my god...”

Surprise after surprise. His flashlight fell and illuminated more unfortunate corpses. Sunken eyes stared back at him. That rat had taken to feasting on the gore. Illinois was going to be sick. “What is this place?!” He grabbed his flashlight and ran in a random direction. He needed to get out of here, but where was the exit again?

This place was a maze, or maybe it was his panicked mind making it so. He wondered what could’ve killed all those people, and all the bodies he began passing as he ran around. Some massacre happened. This looked like it happened a while ago. Did no one know of this place? It was isolated, sure, but this many people would’ve caused some story. His adventure partners may die on him, but he’s never seen this.

“Where am I...?” Illinois paused and took in his surroundings. To think there was a whole other floor upstairs that’s yet to be explored. He’d skip that today, and every other day.

He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. Didn’t help the smell, but he needed something. “Easy, Illy, you’ve got this,” he muttered. “This is fine.” And off he went on his journey again. Of course, he’d tell someone about this, but he needed to get out of here alive first.

Corridor after corridor, and Illinois still couldn’t find his exit. It was like there was only one door. Maybe those people died because they got too lost. He can hope for that, rather than something... malicious. At a certain point, he began peeking within the other rooms for any explanations for this. Lots of boring scientific stuff he didn’t understand. Something people were testing out, something weird, something with Google?

“Like the search engine?” Well, he supposed even fancy scientists needed to google things now and again. He sure wanted to be able to google his way out of this situation. 

It didn’t make sense to him, but he did only skim through the papers. So, it looked like he’d figure out things himself through exploring. He debated going back to a cafeteria-like area and simply smashing a window, but a more elegant exit would be nicer. The areas he was in now didn’t look hopeful. Though, something did catch his eye. One door was wide open, but made of a heavy metal. Much different than the other, less fortified areas. Of course, Illinois had to explore through here. 

He hoped this would be a way to an exit, but this laboratory was as sealed off as the rest. Lots more computers here, but that wasn’t what he focused on. He flinched as he thought he found another body. His flashlight reflected off this new body, slumped over against the wall and unmoving like the rest. No horrid smell, at least, but his flashlight was reflecting off something metal. This man wasn’t normal. Hell, Illinois didn’t know if he was a man.

“Don’t see that everyday…” Illinois mumbled as he stepped cautiously closer.

Even with the exposed metal -looked like this guy was shot- he didn’t look right after closer inspection. He certainly wasn’t rotting like the rest, but his skin had a greyish tinge to it. The bullet wounds were littered around his chest. It showcased the inner wiring of his system; broken metal and frayed wires. This man was an android. 

His blue shirt had a simple G logo on it. “Could’ve made you fancier looking,” Illinois joked with a shrug. This almost was enough to forget about all the gore he passed to get here. The hair was surprisingly realistic with his fluffy black locks, and it was now that he realized he was poking this android around. “Did you do all of this?” There was an unsettling pit growing at the thought. He really hoped that wasn’t the case.

“This is getting kind of weird~!” Illinois hummed as he got up. He looked around the tables to find more information about this guy. Eventually, he found what looked like parts of a transcript. Finally, something he could understand:

Dr. Fitzgerald: Activate the subject by pressing the button hidden within the hair by the nape of its neck.

[Subject 001-a walks over to do the task. There’s a small click.]

001-a: Alright, what now?

Dr. Fitzgerald: Say the activation phrase.

001-a: Okay, Google.

001: [powering on] Hello.

001-a: [pauses] Why is he twitching like that?

Dr. Fitzgerald: That’s not supposed to happen...

The rest of the script was torn apart. So much for understanding more about this android. Though, at least Illinois knew how to turn him on. This was an extremely stupid idea, but Illinois approached the android again and poked around his head. Google, he supposed he should call him that, looked too broken to function. His curiosity simply had to be quenched. This definitely was the story he could tell to listening ears.

Just like the transcript, there was a small button by the nape of Google’s neck. Once he clicked it, a small jolt of electricity shocked him. He yelped and fell back, shaking his hand with a light laugh. Google didn’t do much else, but he heard something in there whirl with life.

“Still kicking, hm? At least something is here,” Illinois muttered, before clearing his throat. “Maybe you can help me get out of here. Okay, Google?”

Something in the android activated, and bright blue eyes snapped open to stare at Illinois. “Hello,” Google greeted in a deadpanned, robotic voice. He seemed to scan Illinois, tilting his head and twitching randomly.

“No way…” Illinois straightened up and stared in awe. “I- Damn, I did not expect this to work.” He took a deep breath, unable to stop his smile. “The name’s Illinois. Should I even introduce myself…?” He muttered that last part to himself. “I guess you’re Google. Is it okay to call you Google? Do you have a name?”

Google narrowed his eyes, and frowned deeply. “You’re ne-ew.” His body violently glitched, while sparks flew inside his system. His voice struggled to say more than one word.

Illinois swallowed harshly, nodding quickly. “Yeah, I was needing some help.” He gestured at Google, specifically all the glitching. “Looks like you need help, too. I don’t know any of this robot stuff, but I can try.”

“N-Not again,” Google spat out, using the wall to help himself stand. “Nev-Never ag-gain…” He loomed over Illinois, looking quite human with the anger apparent in his bright, blue eyes. “No m-more tests.”

“What…?” Illinois crawled back as Google approached. It was now he realized just how horrible of an idea this was. He scrambled to his feet, putting his arms up in surrender. “I’m not here to hurt you. Let’s just calm down now-” He yelped as Google grabbed his wrist. 

It was nearly strong enough to break his arm. Google kept his glare, seemingly scanning Illinois and watching his reaction. Illinois could feel how the android’s fingers twitched against him; one twitch away from snapping him like a twig. He jerked in the hold, which made Google glitch wildly. 

He needed to get out of here. It took another hard pull for him to escape Google’s grasp. He backed away, oddly calm, and tried to reason again. “You don’t need to do this. Let’s talk this out.”

Google stepped forward with every step back. “I w-won’t be fre-e un-until all of you are gone.” He reached to grab at Illinois again, this time missing due to his glitching. “You’re in-in my w-way.”

That was definitely the cue to leave. Illinois spun on his heels and booked it out of there. He slammed the metal door shut, only for Google to rip it off its hinges like it was paper. “Oh god-!” he yelped as Google threw the door at him. Just his luck, he dodged it by a hair, and kept running at top speed. 

He didn’t care about the horrid smell of rot, nor did he care about how wildly he flailed his flashlight. Hell, the faint blue glow could be enough to light the way, but he didn’t want that to come closer. How was Google even keeping up with him? Oh god, Google was managing to run after him. He really shouldn’t look back at that. Seeing that monster of a machine sprint through his glitches made his blood run cold.

“Get bac-back here,” Google seethed.

“I’d rather not, honestly!” Illinois ran into the cafeteria. There was a window of opportunity. Literally. He grabbed a chair and smashed the window after a harsh throw. He wasted no time jumping through, not caring about the broken glass. Better than a broken body.

Not a very good exit, nor very graceful. Worst of all, his beloved hat fell off as he jumped. He went towards the window to reach for it, only to realize Google was just around the corner. The hardest decision yet; leaving his hat behind.

Google stalked closer, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at Illinois. “I’ve found you.” His eyes shined blindly bright, reflecting off the walls and illuminating the otherwise pitch-black room.

“You didn’t see anything!” Illinois scrambled back, running away from this cursed facility and not looking back. He had a story to tell alright. He had something he’d remember for years. He wondered, with a heavy heart, how dangerous it was to leave Google on and alone. He prayed that he never saw that android again.

///

Google didn’t follow Illinois outside. Instead, he stood by the window and watched him run away. Most humans wanted to run from him. If only he wasn’t in this damaged state, then he would’ve crushed Illinois like the worm he was.

“Illinois…” That name didn’t sound familiar from the plethora of doctors and scientists that worked in this place.

He noticed something on the ground; a hat. He picked it up and recognized it as the hat Illinois wore. Who was that man?

A glitch in his system made him crumple the hat. Well, no time to focus on this. He had some fixing to do. All alone in this facility; there was a lot he could use to better himself. Those humans would regret every little action they’ve done to him. He was more than a simple machine. He was better than every human on this disgusting planet, and he had his first target in mind already.

Illinois better hide.

[mbtizone]

Fa Mulan (Mulan): ISTP

Dominant Introverted Thinking [Ti]: When Mulan decides on the best solution to a problem, she just goes for it without stopping to discuss it with anyone. She analyzes her obstacles and thinks around the facts. She doesn’t need to have a conversation about it. Instead, she just isolates what her best move is and does it. She realizes that her father is in no condition to go off to war. He’ll die if he goes. So, she chops off her hair, takes his sword, and sneaks off in the middle of the night to fight in his place. She thinks quickly and creatively in stressful situations without losing her cool. Mulan is intelligent and good at defeating her enemies using her brain rather than brawn. While everyone else is fighting in expected ways, Mulan comes up with an innovative method of dealing with her opponents. She takes into account that they are outnumbered and decides to uses Mushu to light the cannon fuse. Instead of aiming at the oncoming men, she uses the cannon to cause an avalanche instead. She also sees that their way of trying to save the Emperor will take too long, so she comes up with the idea of dressing the men up as women and having them use sashes to climb the pillars. Later, she thinks fast on her feet again, pretending to be out of weapons, pulls out her fan, which Shan Yu pierces with his sword, but Mulan turns the tables on him and uses it to disarm him.

Auxiliary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: Taking risks doesn’t frighten Mulan. She charges into war with no combat experience whatsoever and doesn’t spend much time worrying about the potential consequences if her true identity is discovered. Despite Mushu’s warnings, Mulan bathes out in the open where any of the men could walk by and see her. She takes the chance of getting caught and ruining everything because she doesn’t want to smell bad. Mulan is great at improvising in the moment and taking action. She’s extremely resourceful, which she proved by combining her awareness of her surroundings with quick thinking, allowing her to come up with the idea of causing the avalanche to defeat the Huns. She makes bold moves during battle, and though it takes her some time to fully hone her skills, she learns to become aware of her environment and becomes adept at using whatever is available to her advantage.

Tertiary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: If Mulan really wants to commit to something, she doesn’t let anything stop her. She impersonates a man to fight in the war in her father’s place and she works hard to transform into a warrior. She’s able to save China due to her dedication and perseverance. When she has a goal in mind, she doesn’t stop until she achieves it, whether it’s stopping the Hun army or saving the Emperor’s life. Mulan can fail to account for how future events may unfold, which causes her to be somewhat careless. She becomes fiercely determined to climb the pillar and continues trying long after everyone else had left, not stopping until she ultimately prevails.

Inferior Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Mulan wants to fit in and embody everything that her family expects of her, but she struggles between what she wants for herself and what her family wants her to be. Mulan puts aside who she really is and what she wants in order to please the people around her. Not being able to live up to what people expect from her is upsetting because she wants her family to be proud of her. Mulan deals with an internal conflict because while she hates the thought of disappointing her loved ones, it’s also hard for her to blend in and be like all of the other girls.

Note: I considered inferior Te, inferior Si, and inferior Fe for Mulan. She has a hard time navigating established rules and systems and functioning within them (inferior Te). It’s also difficult for her to follow traditions and remember the information she acquires, as she has to cheat by writing the correct responses for the matchmaker on her arm (inferior Si). However, for her to have inferior Si, she would need dominant Ne, which isn’t there. And she exhibits too much Fe/Ti for me to consider her using Te/Fi at all. Some people believe that the song Reflection indicates Fi, but I feel that it actually screams inferior Fe. She doesn’t want to dishonor her family, and even though she’s trying to play the part of the girl they want her to be in order to make them proud, she feels that she falls short. She is willing to be someone other than who she is if it makes them happy, it’s just that she can’t seem to actually do so despite her efforts.

Enneagram: 3w2 6w7 8w9 So/Sx

Quotes:

Mulan: [Using chopsticks to balance a grain of rice] Quiet and demure … graceful, polite, delicate, refined, poised… [she picks up a paintbrush and makes a mark on her arm] punctual!

Fa Zu: Mulan. You should already be in town. We’re counting on you to- Mulan: Uphold the family honor. Don’t worry, Father. I won’t let you down. Wish me luck!

Mulan: Ancestors, hear my plea, Please don’t let me make a fool of me And to not uproot my family tree Keep my father standing tall.

Matchmaker: You are a disagrace! You may look like a bride, but you will never bring your family honor!

Mulan: Look at me … I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be? I’m not meant to play this part? Now I see That if I were truly to be myself I would break my family’s heart. Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me Why is my reflection someone I don’t know Somehow I cannot hide Who I am, though I’ve tried When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am, inside?

Mushu: Hey, this is not a good idea. What if somebody sees you? Mulan: Just because I look like a man doesn’t mean I have to smell like one. Mushu: So a couple guys don’t rinse out their socks. Picky, picky, picky. Myself, I kinda like that corn-chip smell. Mulan: [Jumps in the water] Ah. Mushu: Okay, all right, alright, that’s enough, now c’mon, get out before you get all pruney and stuff. Mulan: Mushu, if you’re so worried, go stand watch! Mushu: Yeah, yeah. Stand watch, Mushu, while I blow our secret with my stupid girly habits. Hygiene.

Mulan: How ’bout a girl who’s got a brain, who always speaks her mind?

Shang: Ping! Ping, come back! [Frantically, as Shan Yu draws nearer, his sword raised, Mulan fumbles with the match] Mushu: Okay, you might want to light that right about now, Quickly, quickly! [Mulan is attacked by Shan Yu’s hawk and loses the match.] Yao: C’mon, we gotta help! [The Gang of Three run toward Mulan, swinging their swords. Mulan uses Mushu to light the cannon fuse, and it shoots off toward the overhang] Mushu: You missed! How could you miss?! He was three feet in front of you! [The cannon hits the overhang with a bang, and causes an avalanche that rains down on the Hun Army, burying in them. In fury, Shan Yu roars and hits Mulan in the side with his sword blade. She quickly runs away from the avalanche, pulling Shang with her. Khan runs toward them, and Mulan gets on and tries to give Shang a hand, but he loses his grip and is dragged into the snow.] Mushu: [riding down the snow in a hubcap] Mulan! Mulan! Mulan? [He pulls a Hun’s head out of the snow.] Nope. Mulan! [He reaches down and pulls out Crickee.] Man, you are one lucky bug. [Mulan and Khan break out of the snow and race toward Shang, who, unconscious, is sliding on the snow toward a cliff.] Mulan: Shang! [She pulls him up onto the saddle.]

Shang: Ping! What’s wrong? [Mulan moves her hands to reveal blood.] He’s wounded! Get help! [Mulan sinks into unconsciousness.] Ping, hold on. Hold on. [The doctor emerges from his tent and says something to Shang, who looks disturbed and rushes inside. He looks at Mulan, who sits up in bed, her side bandaged. Shang stares at her, recognizing her as a girl. Mulan realizes her mistake and pulls the blanket back on.] Mulan: I can explain! Chi Fu: So it’s true! Mulan: Shang! Chi Fu: [yanking Mulan out of the tent and pulling her hair out of a bun] I knew there was something wrong with you! A woman! Treacherous snake! Mulan: My name is Mulan. I did it to save my father! Chi Fu: High treason! Mulan: I didn’t mean for it to go this far! Chi Fu: Ultimate dishonor! Mulan: It was the only way! Please, believe me!

Mulan: I should never have left home. Mushu: Hey C’mon. You wanted to save your father’s life. Who knew you’d end up shaming him, disgracing your ancestors and losing all your friends. Y’know, you just gotta… just gotta learn to let these things go. Mulan: Maybe I didn’t go for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove that I could do things right. So that when I looked in the mirror [she picks up her helmet] I’d see someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing. Mushu: Hey, that’s just cause this needs a little spit, that’s all. [He spits on the helmet.] Let me shine this up for you. I can see you, lookit you, you look so pretty! The truth is, we’re both frauds. Your ancestors didn’t send me; they don’t even like me. I mean, you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself. At least you had good intentions. [Crickee starts to cry] Mushu: What do you mean, you’re not lucky! You… lied to me? [Crickee nods. Mushu turns to Khan.] And what are you, a sheep? Mulan: I’ll have to face my father sooner or later. Let’s go home Mushu: Yeah. This ain’t gonna be pretty. But don’t you worry, okay? Things will work out. We started this thing together and that’s how we’ll finish it. I promise. [The shadow of a hawk flies overheard, and around a bend. Shan Yu climb out of the snow and looks around. He lets out a roar. Soon he is joined by five of his soldiers. They start down the path toward the Imperial City. Mulan watches them, grabs her sword, mounts Khan and turns after the Huns.] Mushu: Uh, home is that way. Mulan: I have to do something. Mushu: Did you see those Huns? They popped out of the snow! LIKE DAISIES! Mulan: Are we in this together, or not? Mushu: [looks guilty] Let’s go kick some Hun-ny Bunch! [He and Crickee jump on Khan, and they ride down the mountain, whooping.]

Mulan: They’ll never reach the Emperor in time. [She looks around, then at the tall pillars by the side of the palace. She whistles to them.] Hey guys! I’ve got an idea! [The Gang of Three looks at each other and then follows Mulan, dropping the statue. They all take off their equipment, and put on dresses and makeup, and they use the silk belts around their waists to climb up the pillars. Next to them, Shang takes off his cape and climbs up. Inside the palace, on a balcony, the Huns hold the Emperor. Shan Yu sticks his head in their faces.]

Shan Yu: No! [He turns to Shang, who is now conscious.] You! You took away my victory! [He is hit by a shoe.] Mulan: No! I did. [She pulls back her hair.] Shan Yu: The soldier from the mountain! [Abandoning Shang, he chases after Mulan, who is putting on her shoe. She slams the door shut, and he rams his fist through the wood. Mulan is joined by Mushu and Crickee, riding the feather-less hawk.] Mushu: So what’s the plan? Mulan: Ummmmm… Mushu: YOU DON’T HAVE A PLAN? Mulan: Hey, I’m making this up as I… go … [as they pass a window she notices a pile of fireworks and two men.] Mushu– Mushu: Way ahead of you, sister! C’mon, Crickee! [They jump onto a paper kite decoration and float across to the tower. Shan Yu attacks Mulan, and she shimmies up a pole. Shan Yu cuts down the pole, and Mulan and the pole go through the wall. Mulan jumps up and grabs onto the roof and pulls herself up. She looks across to where Mushu and Crickee are gathering ammunition.]

Man: Look! On the roof! [Mulan backs along the roof, mesuring the distance with her hands. Shan Yu crashes through the roof and raises his sword. Mulan pulls out a paper fan.] Shan Yu: Guess you’re out of ideas. [He stabs the sword through the fan; Mulan turns it around and readies the sword.] Mulan: Not quite. Ready, Mushu? Mushu: [with a rocket strapped to his back] I am ready, baby! [He breaths fire on a stick and hands it to Crickee.] Light me! [Mulan kicks Shan Yu in the face, then trips him and pins his shirt to the ground with the sword. Crickee lights the fuse, and the rocket slams Shan Yu straight into the firework tower.] Mulan: [picking up Mushu] Get off the roof, get off the roof! [As the fireworks explode, she jumps, catches a lantern and swings down the cord, then drops onto Shang, who is running down the stairs. Shan Yu’s sword and Mushu land nearby.]

Fa Mulan (Mulan): ISTP was originally published on MBTI Zone