#I LOVE DIBS SMILE LIKE HES LOOKING AT ZIM IN LOVE AND IN DETERMINATION
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anonymoosen · 8 months ago
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HOLY FRIGGIN IRK ZADR AS LUMITY MY BELOVED MDSKDKSKD
NO CUZ WHEN I SAW UR ART, I LITERALLY EXPLODED AND IM LIKE: LUMITY VIBES!!11!1 THEN I SAW THE OG IMAGE AND SCREAMED AGAIN RAAAAAHHHDJSJSJSJSJS
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they’re so disgusting I love them
Og image:
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violintrees · 4 years ago
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16 or 31 with zadr? :0
16
Dib rested his arms against the outside balcony of the theater. The senior year trip to see the big city  production of Romeo and Juliet. Going was an easy way to get out of doing an art credit for the year and both he and Zim took the option immediately.
Zim. Why did fighting him have to get complicated? Why did they have to keep having these enjoyable truces? Why did they have to start having such a good time bantering on the school bus ride?
Why did Zim have to look so nice in a suit???
Dib pressed his face into his hands and let out a long sigh.
“Ugh. Zim. Why are you an alien invader Zim?
Just denounce your Tallest’s dumbass mission, and drop the invader act
Or..” Dib looked up into the clear night, so few stars were visible in the city, but that made the desire stronger.
“Or if you won’t, and you care about me at all
Take me up there, and ill forget about being Earth’s defender.”
“WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT DIB-STINK!?”
Dib jumped out of his stupor shouted “WHAT” looking all around till he gripped the banister and looked over to see Zim in the little garden that lead to the parking lot.
“Zim!? I uhh”
“What are you doing up there Earth-Boy? Did we not decide to get better snacks before we have to endure another act of this filth?”
���I ummm yeah. I just came up here to uhh escape.” In truth, Dib had ran off to use the bathroom and panic because Zim had grabbed his hand and whispered into his ear at the end of the first act. He then came to the balcony to get some fresh air and squash some feelings.
Forbidden love on a balcony…
“How did you plan to do that without Zim’s assistance hmm?” Zim rested his hands on his hips as he deployed a Pak leg.
Dib couldn’t stop a smile and dopey look spread across his face at the arrogance.
“Zim.. how is it we make fun of the play in there, but then do this out here.” Dib blushed as soon as he realized he said that aloud. “I mean umm.. ugh never mind, you probably don’t understand what I am talking about.”
“Perhaps Zim understands, a little bit” He turned his face in embarrassment. “But we’re nothing like those stage humans. They say they are in love and they just met. They haven’t even engaged in epic battle yet. Zim thinks we would make a much better story for those theater slaves.”
“Yeah?” Something bloomed, bright and warm in his heart “Maybe someone will write about us someday. A modern Romeo + Juliet. With a lot more aliens, guts, epic fights and minus the dying part.. I hope.”
They looked at each other and a careful determination spread across their faces. Neither wanted to think about it their end. This was good. The present was good.
“So lizard, you gonna come get my pathetic human self-down from here so we can hit the gas station?”
“You know it worm boy.”
They both laughed and let the tension in the air dissipate. They were good. They had to be.
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zims-left-shoe · 4 years ago
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Hi, I love your works. I was wondering if I could request a Zim x fem during the tak the hideous new girl episode. Maybe she gets jealous and tries to explain the toxicity of the relationship and just gets so frustrated with Zim that she ends up confessing her feelings to him? Thank you!
Thank you so much! This one was a lot of fun, and I had a lot of things I wanted to do so it’s kind of long and skipped around a few times. I still hope it’s coherent lmao. I honestly really enjoy writing Zim fanfic because his personality is so fun to write for.
For a Monday morning, the energy in the classroom was off the walls. It may have been suppressed to the best of everyone's ability, but anticipation was bubbling to the surface. As you glanced around, several feet were tapping beneath the desks uncontrollably, eyes darting from backpacks that smelled vaguely of meat to the looming figure of Ms. Bitters, who looked bothered to be there--something that wasn't unusual. One kid in the back was even vibrating and frothing at the mouth. The only ones who seemed calm were Zim and Dib; a strange occurrence in its own right, usually those two were the ones causing mayhem. You suspected why. After all, this holiday was never kind to the social outcasts. Best for them not to get excited at all, it's just another day.
Your eyes rested on Zim in particular, lingering there. This tended to happen often, even from the start. How could you not stare at him? When a bizarre green kid shows up out of nowhere and yells a lot, what else are you to do? You had approached him several times before, eating lunch with him on occasion. Zim was definitely weird, but you found yourself liking that about him. Maybe he had piqued your interest purely because he was new. You had been surrounded by the rest of your peers since practically diapers, and fresh faces didn't come around very often. Either way, as much as you didn't want to admit it, you had developed a bit of a crush on him. The combination of his flamboyant attitude and his offbeat personality was just so enticing. 
The phone rang, and you could practically feel the collective breath the class sucked in. Moving in an almost supernatural manner, Ms. Bitters went to answer it. Her eye twitched as she held the receiver to her ear.
"No...no. No!" Her voice came out in a hiss, eyes narrowed to slits behind her glasses. "You'll pay for this one." Angrily hanging up the phone, she turned to address the class, paying no attention to the phone that was being consumed by flames. "Class, despite my moral outrage, the principal is allowing you to celebrate Valentine's Day this year."
Those were the only words needed for the classroom to figuratively errupt like a shaken can of soda. Your peers went wild, cheers close to manic screams sounding as kids dumped their bags out on the desks, meat slabs tumbling out. Again, the only two students not excited were Dib and Zim. Dib wore an expression of irritation, just wishing to get the day over with. Zim on the other hand seemed to be completely confused. His eyes flickered from student to student, watching in disgusted fascination as the meat continued to fall from bags as the kids all had dopey grins plastered on their faces.
"Go ahead. Pass out your Valentine's meat slabs. It's traditional." As if on cue, everyone stood up at once, taking their meat to desks all around the room, full of glee. You had never been the biggest fan of Valentine's Day, but you had decidedly been looking forward to the holiday this year. You thought that maybe this would be the day you could drop some hints to Zim and gauge his reaction. Fishing out the special meat slab you had saved and card you made for him, you stood up, pacing over to his desk. There was already a girl there so you stood back a ways, watching the exchange unfold.
The girl gestured the tray she held in her hands forward, offering the neatly arranged heart shaped mini meat slabs. Rather than take it, Zim pushed himself as far back as his chair would allow, his fingers curling against the desk. 
"I-I left my meat at home. Sorry, I sort of forgot it, uh..." Teeth gritted, his panicked gaze surveyed the classroom to see if the majority had their eyes on him. They didn't; they were much too occupied with their own valentines to pay Zim's antics any mind. Regardless of Zim's clear discomfort, the girl laid the meat on his desk with a smile on her face. "Get that out of my face!" He screamed, violently shoving the meat from his desk and into the poor girl's face. He swiped at the air in front of his face as if trying to defend himself from an attacker. The girl scoffed in annoyance, picking up her meat and walking away, grumbling about how he should have felt lucky to receive anything at all.
The slab of meat you held felt heavy in your hands in that moment. He clearly was not into the whole Valentine's meat slab thing.
Possibly a cultural difference? You thought to yourself, grip tightening on the meat. You only wished to give him something he would like, and maybe in turn, he would like you. But what to do with the meat? Turning around, you saw Ms. Bitters hunched over her desk, looking absolutely miserable. That'll do...
You scuttled over to her desk, gently placing the meat slab down.
"What do you want?" Her voice may have been as grating as nails on a chalkboard, but you had learned to never show fear around her.
"Er, happy Valentine's Day!" 
"Tch. Go socialize with your other hopeless peers before you lose the privilege." Nodding, you slowly backed away. You had gotten rid of the meat, so it was a win for you. To your delight, Zim's desk was empty. His eyes continued to dart around the room, staying vigilant in case some other student came bearing horrible meaty gifts. Letting out one final determined breath, you strode right up to his desk, waving slightly. 
"I said I do not want your vile meats!" He hissed, clawing the air once more. 
"I don't have meat, Zim. It's okay." A giggle fell from your lips as you presented your card. "I hope a card is okay?" He eyed the paper suspiciously as you slid it across his desk.
"Zim has nothing for you, Y/n." Regardless of his concerns, he took the card in his hands. 
"That's fine." With one last distrusting look, he opened the card and began to read. It was a homemade card, something you had spent quite a bit of time on the night before. Doodles in marker were scribbled across the front, and the inside held words about how you thought he was worth hanging around despite everyone shunning him because of being a freak. There was also a decent drawing of him playfighting Dib and winning, which you thought he'd like.
"Oh. This is...um. Wow." Zim seemed to not grasp the meaning of the card. Either that, or this was his way of telling you he wasn't interested. You weren't sure which was more hurtful.
"Sorry, I...just forget about it." Suddenly your shoes became the most interesting thing you had seen in years. However, Zim guessed that he had made a mistake of some kind.
"No! I like it! It is a gift worthy of Zim!! I especially like the part where I beat the Dib." His face was split by a massive grin, and you assumed this was his unorthodox way of thanking you for it. "I thought it would explode or something." You laughed, however, he did not. Apparently he wasn't joking. Another reason you liked him. He was just so unabashedly strange--it was a great break from the norm. 
You hadn't noticed Ms. Bitters take another phone call until after she had hung up, turning back to the class. "Everyone! Sit down!"
"But-" The class began to whine, not finished handing out their meaty treats.
"Now!" The old witch snapped, sending you dragging your feet back to your desk. Zim's eyes were on you the whole time, still trying to figure out why you would give him such a thing, especially without something in return. He didn't have much time to give it deep thought though, as the class erupted in whispers at the humongous jet that had just landed outside the window. You couldn't help but wonder just what was going on. Before you could even begin to delve into that train of thought, a girl wandered into the classroom, sharp purple eyes surveying the room. "To celebrate over crowding in Skool, a new student will be joining us." Ms. Bitters gestured to the girl standing at the front of the room. Her hands were folded behind her black striped dress as she smiled. Despite her seemingly pleasant attitude, something about her just rubbed you the wrong way. There was something off, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.
"Hi! My name's Tak. I'm new here."
"Hello, Tak." You joined in with the monotone mumbling of the class, however your words came out in a grumble. 
"My father's the head of the DEE-Licious Weenie corporation. So I brought Valentine's weenies for everyone!" With a wave of her hand, weenies rained down from nowhere that you could see. Almost everyone around you cheered wildly, already thrilled to have Tak as a part of the student body. Just when you were thinking she wasn't so bad, she spoke again. "Except for that kid!" She jumped on top of Ms. Bitters' desk, combat boots bringing a heavy thud. Pointing a finger at Zim, a maniacal smirk was ever present on her face. Whipping your head towards him revealed him to be completely uninterested.
"Weenies, schmeenies! Zim needs no meat!" He waved his hand, leaning back in his chair, a bored expression settling on his features.
Tak ignored his comment, continuing on. "For him, I have prepared a poem." Your eyebrow quirked up, you definitely weren't liking where this was going. She cleared her throat, about to begin, only to be interrupted by Sara.
"Looks like Zim has a girrrlfrieeennnnd!" Her voice was taunting, and although the comment was meant to be just a tease, you felt as if your heart skipped a beat. Your skin prickled as Tak ripped up the paper in her hands, rounding on Sara.
"It's not nice to embarrass people! You should apologize, and, um, eat your eraser!" Zim looked utterly terrified, sinking down so far into his seat that only his eyes were barely visible above the desk. To your shock and amazement, Sara actually proceeded to eat her eraser, even apologizing to both Tak and Zim. Things had officially safely crossed into 'what the fuck' world. You peered at Dib, the usual skeptic and gave him a 'you seeing this shit?' look, hoping he would concur. He seemed fine with what was happening, which was the most concerning part of the whole ordeal.
This is officially the weirdest day I have ever experienced...and it's only nine in the morning... You rested your chin in your hands, worried for whatever was about to happen.
"For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you. Someone with a head like yours, and a torso too. Birds sing, and you're gonna PAY, the end! Now, here's some meat covered in barbeque sauce!" Tak cackled as she tossed a rack of ribs dripping in barbeque sauce into Zim's face. A horrible shriek of pain tore itself from his throat, and you turned your attention back to Tak. Not only were you irritated that she read Zim a poem, the ending was not normal, and seemed to hide very violent intentions. Something was off. It felt almost as if she had history with Zim.
"Thank you, Tak. That was horrible." Ms. Bitters made room for her to take a seat, sending someone to the supposed 'underground classrooms'. Meanwhile, Zim's face looked as if he had been hit with a scalding hot waffle iron rather than a rack of ribs. His mouth twitched in pain as his fingers dug into the desktop, jaw clenched. The bell rang afterwards, sending kids out faster than the speed of light. You wandered over to Zim, following him out and into the hall. He still grasped at his face, which looked horrible. 
"You okay?"
"Why does it hurt?!" He spoke through gritted teeth, and you sucked in a breath, taking that as a solid no. 
"So...you and Tak. Do you know each other?" You decided to just come right out with it. Might as well.
"No, of course not! I have no idea who she is!" 
"Really? Cause she seemed to know you. People don't just read poems to strangers. And she kind of seemed like she wanted to hurt you, Zim."
"Don't be silly! She seemed to like me. After all, meat is a sign of, what is it...love? Love, right? She's obviously madly in love with me." He grumbled, unhappy about the situation he was in.
"I don't think that's-" He paid no attention to your reasoning, keeping his head down in thought.
"That's it!" His eyes lit up, turning to face you.
"What's it...?" There seemed to be a joke you were missing out on or something. 
"If it's affection she wants..." The word 'affection' didn't roll of his tongue very easy, rather he spat it out as if it were rat poison. "...then it is affection she shall get." Feeling your breath catch in your throat, your heels planted into the floor, sending you into a dead stop.
"What? You can't be serious!" 
"Zim must go! Goodbye, Y/n!" The sound of his heeled boots clicking across the tile further announced his leave as he ran out of the building. This wasn't unusual, he would leave school at odd hours despite school not being over, or sometimes he wouldn't show up at all. 
"Geez, if all I needed to do to get his attention was write a vaguely threatening poem and attack him with meat, I would have done that a long time ago." You muttered while you angrily shuffled to your next class, already hating where the next few days would take you.
-
So far, the day had been going better than you had hoped. After yesterday, you had been waiting for something to happen. During class, whenever Zim would look to Tak, he would laugh under his breath. Apparently you had missed the joke, and so had everyone else. It was concerning at best, and so when the recess bell rang, you took it upon yourself to wander outside, following Zim at an inconspicuous distance. You doubted he would have cared if you were right on his tail, but you had no desire to step in unless absolutely necessary. Of course he had ended up by Tak. She was sitting upon a concrete ledge next to Dib, most likely discussing the possibility of Zim being an alien. 
You exhaled a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding when Zim forcefully shoved Dib off the ledge and into the brambles, hopping up to take his place next to Tak. You knew something was bound to happen, it was just a matter of when. It seemed that time had finally come.
"I have come to accept your feelings for me, I congratulate you for acknowledging my superiority in choosing me as your lovepig. Feel honored!"
"Lovepig…?" You murmured, watching the scene unfold. Yet again, Zim had surprised you. Just the morning before, he had found the idea of Tak being his girlfriend utterly repulsive. Now, he was accepting the offer? Maybe? There had to be a reason. There was always an angle he was playing, but you had to say, this time you were at a loss for what it could be. 
Silence ensued between the two, the only noise being the surrounding din of playing children and birds chirping happy melodies. Without a single word, Tak brought out a bottle of barbeque sauce from seemingly nowhere, squirting Zim with its contents. Almost immediately he screamed, the sound so hideously harsh that it sent all birds within the school yard frantically flying. Zim fell off the ledge and onto the asphalt, rolling around as if he were on fire. Tak cackled, tossing the bottle aside. 
It was incredibly obvious to you that she derived enjoyment from his pain and misery, and you hoped that Zim could see it too. This was the second time this has occurred, he had to understand now, right? 
Pushing himself off the ground, he stood up, brushing dirt and barbeque sauce off of his pink dress. You thought he would be furious, but it seemed that Zim was full of surprises this day. Rather, he spoke calmly for probably the third time in his life. "Now prepare your brain, filthy beast of meat and hair." He grabbed Tak's waist, lifting her from the ledge and setting her down next to him. "Your magical love adventure begins now!"
"Idiot!" You slapped your palms to your face, watching the scene play out in disbelieving horror. Was he genuinely stupid or just a masochist? Tak didn't seem bothered, laughing insanely, Zim joining in. They laughed until Tak took a nearby trashcan, shoving it over his head and kicking him away. You cringed as Dib had crawled out of the bushes, joining in Tak's joy with a smile on his face. 
-
That had been the first incident of that day. There had been many, many more to follow. You had decided to follow Zim and Tak to keep an eye on things, as it was clear that Zim could not handle himself. As you had expected, more pain-based loving ensued. What exactly had went down? Well-
"-he had offered her a muffin, and what does she do? She squirts him with juice and he screeches on the floor like a madman! Oh, then he gifted her a slab of meat in her locker, and she threw him out of skool screaming with the meat tied to his head." Your voice had a growl to it, and was getting progressively more agitated at higher volumes. You slammed your locker closed, the sound so jarring that several students in the surrounding area turned their heads in your direction. 
"I literally have no idea who you're talking about. I'm not even in your grade!" A very frightened looking boy stared back at you incredulously, thinking you to be crazy. The poor kid had just been trying to access the locker beneath yours, but you had pulled him into a very one-sided conversation.
However, you took no notice of his comments, continuing on with your rant. "But there's more! He gave her a gift, but she shoved it over his head. Let's see, she also sicced an attack dog on him when he was trying to give her flowers. He's being so genuinely nice to her, carrying her books and all that! And she just treats him like garbage!" Throwing your hands in the air, you let out a frustrated huff. "She doesn't deserve his affection at all!"
"Yeah, uh...can I get into my locker now so I can go to lunch?" Once again, his words went in one ear and right out the other with you. The only one that stuck was 'lunch'.
"Lunch...that's it! I should try and talk to him! Thank you, Keith!"
"My name's Kevin." He sighed as you ran off towards the cafeteria. Throwing open the double doors, your eyes rested on Zim, who stood at the end of the lunch line looking worse for wear. He was covered in bruises, one eye was swollen, and his skin even seemed to smoldering. His clothes were tattered and dirty from the fresh hell that Tak had been forcing him to endure. He slouched, looking miserable as can be. 
"Zim, hey." You approached him, taking your place in line behind him. He instantly straightened up, wincing in pain as he did so, clutching a hand to his side while murmuring something about his organs rupturing.
"Y/n, what brings you here?"
"Lunch?"
"Ah, yes. That." One of his eyes twitched involuntarily, and you couldn't procrastinate on your true intent any longer.
"I'm worried about you, you know." Your voice was quiet, and you wouldn't mask your concern for him. You wanted him to know that you wished the best for him, and that Tak did not fit that bill.
"Zim is fine." The line moved forward and you both grabbed trays, but you wouldn't let go of your point.
"Zim is not fine. Tak is hurting you, Zim. She's going to do some real damage to you, either physically or mentally. Although by your appearance, it seems that she's already accomplished that."        
"Nonsense! In fact, Zim has never felt better." He grinned as if to prove everything was okay despite all of the evidence that told otherwise. 
"How she's treating you is wrong." He hummed a response, turning away from you as the lunch ladies glopped mush onto his tray. "I'm serious, Zim. She's a psychopath and it's not okay. At all. I'm saying this as your friend."
Without even sparing you a second glance over his shoulder, he spoke with his back turned to you. "Everything is perfectly normal and under control." And with that he walked over to the table Tak was sitting at, leaving you standing there. Was he seriously just going to brush you off like that? 
Dejectedly taking your tray to your own table, you watched--disappointed but not surprised--as Tak dumped both her own and his tray of food onto his head. His face scrunched in pain as if he were being burned, but he didn't yelp this time; he lacked the energy. It hurt to watch, really. Wiping the barely edible food from his face, he stood up on the table, pulling Tak up with him and grabbing her hand.
"Everyone, this is my girlfriend, Tak!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, ensuring that every student in the room heard him. Tak responded by pushing him off of the table and onto the ground, chuckling to herself afterward. Your grip on the table tightened; that was the final straw. Were you jealous? Sure. But most of all, you were more distressed with the situation. You genuinely cared for him, and you wanted to see him in a happy and healthy relationship, not one that was constant pain and misery. Much to your dismay, he still was unable to grasp the toxicity of his relationship with Tak. 
-
It had been a long day for everyone. Especially Zim. When you had stepped into the courtyard after school, you saw him slowly dragging his feet. He looked like he had been beaten halfway to hell, somehow worse than when you had talked to him at lunch. In fact, you weren't even sure if he was human or a reanimated corpse (in reality, he was neither). Curling your hands into fists, you marched right up to Zim. If it was only day one of being with Tak and he already looked this bad, you weren't sure how much longer he could survive. It was clear that he was in desperate need of an intervention. Reaching your hand out, you laid it on his shoulder, feeling him flinch beneath your touch while he squeaked out a cry.
"Oh. It's just you, girl-thing." He seemed to relax, exhaling a long breath. Perhaps he thought you were Tak. 
"We need to talk." Zim looked tired, staying put, which you hadn't entirely expected. "You need to break up with Tak. Whatever your plan was, it's a bad idea." That statement seemed to set him off. Not necessarily because he was in love with Tak, more so that he was overly defensive of his plans. 
"It's fine! It's a perfectly normal pain-based human relationship." He waved your words off with his hand, yet again tossing your concern to the side. Whether he was just harmfully self-absorbed or truly a masochistic idiot would go undecided. Either way, red hot anger sizzled beneath your skin. How could he be so nonchalant about this mess?
"See, the thing is, relationships aren't supposed to be pain-based, you moron! Your whole dynamic is toxic, she's literally abusing you! Why can't you see that?" 
"Zim is not a moron!" Crossing his arms, he turned his head away from you and stuck his chin in the air, quite similar to a small child pouting. "Besides, everything is going completely to plan!"
"Really? Because your skin is smoldering! Was that part of the plan, Zim?" With each comment, your volume increased, to the point where you were both screeching at the top of your lungs, despite standing right beside each other. 
"It's a fashion statement!" He rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out at you. 
"You are so infuriating sometimes, you know that?!" Your voice thick with exasperation, you stomped your foot on the concrete, internally grateful that no one had stuck around after school to see you two arguing like little children, especially over something so important. You blinked back a few tears that were rising due to frustration and anger, Zim drawing back slightly at the sight. 
"Even if it is as bad as you say, why do you care? It's not your business." Although his voice was more hushed than before, his words were still quite cold. You were at your breaking point, and the floodgate couldn't hold back your emotions any longer.
"Because I like you, Zim! Like, like-like you!" Drawing in a deep breath, you prepared yourself for your rant. There was no turning back now, what's done has been done, those fated words had been said. "I don't care how different you are. You're weird, yes, but weird can be good. You may not think so, but even you deserve a functioning and healthy relationship, one where you do normal things like go out on dates, hold each others hands. You say stuff like 'I love you' rather than 'Go die'. Affection isn't supposed to be torture, Zim. Affection is supposed to invoke happiness, and Tak can't give that to you. I'm not saying I could, but..." You trailed off, your brain finally seeming to get with the program. You had already said too much. 
For the first time in the history of ever, Zim stood there in a dead silence. He appeared to not know what to say or how to say it. You didn't blame him. What was he supposed to do? Scoop you up into his arms and run off into the sunset? You wanted nothing more in than moment than for a pit to open beneath your feet and swallow you whole, never to be seen again. Grabbing at the hem of your shirt, your face felt as if it were on fire. Staring at the ground under your shoes, you attempted to will the previously mentioned pit into existence. No such luck.
"I, uh, see." Zim spoke first, amazingly calm about the whole ordeal. Slowly, his usual air of confidence was returning. "Well, it might interest you to know that I was going to break things off with Tak anyway." Hope rose in your chest. Even if he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just glad he was getting out of that horrid situation. 
"Really?" 
"Mhm." Awkwardly clearing his throat, he shifted his weight from foot to foot, genuinely unsure of what to do with all of this newfound information. After a few moments, a grin spread on his face, which happened to be the tell-tale sign of him having an idea. Whether it was competent or disastrous, odds were about 30-70. For his sake, you prayed that it was much better than his Tak idea. "Say, Y/n. Would you be interested in aiding me in studying a normal human relationship?"
Sure, the way he was asking was strange, and you vaguely wondered if he held hidden motives--the answer to that question was most likely yes, but you still felt okay about your answer. 
"Are you asking me out?"
"...Yes." 
Pearls of laughter escaped you; he was bizarre, always has been, always will be. And yet, he was the one you had fallen for. "Sure. Only after you break up with Tak." It was then that he smiled, not a malicious smirk of a wolf cornering its prey, rather that of a boy who was just pleased to exist.
"Consider it done."
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moonshroooms · 5 years ago
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So like, here’s a part-angst-part-fluff Ponytail!Dib AU oneshot here ya go! I kinda imagined this lil scenario to be after but not-too-long after these Sad Idiots confessed their Undying Love to each other (I’m totally positive that’s the exact scenario reyna’s gonna take her au, trust me on this I’m a doctor).
Now the beginning of this is definitely more angst and Sad but it do get cuter at the end I promise VwV But anyways, here! *throws this on the ground and runs away*
=
Dib laid out all the ingredients on the counter, double checking he had everything the recipe called for. Flour, eggs, sugar, check, check, check. Getting everything without alerting Zim what he was up to had been more than a challenge but somehow he’d managed to get past the sneaky bug. All that was left to do was wait for Zim to be busy long enough to enact his plan.
“Alright, it’s a shortcake, how hard could it be?” He pulled up the recipe on his phone, mumbling to himself. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice taunted that he’d mess it up somehow. He mentally shoved it into a box and sealed the lid. It’s fine, he’d be fine. Just follow the instructions, he could do that.
With his best attempt at a determined nod Dib opened up the flour, pulling a large bowl out of the cupboard, giving a glance at the instructions.
“Mix strawberries with sugar and ffuh mhmm…” His sentence trailed off as his brain rewired itself to focus on the strawberries. “Alright, strawberries first, then.” He dumped the carton of berries in a little bowl of their own, scooping out a few spoonfuls of sugar and stirring. And put them in the fridge. Okay, step one done. See? Wasn’t so bad. A part of him felt kind of dump pep-talking himself, but he knew how much his self-deprecation bothered Zim, so he was trying to fight it. Most said step one was talking positively, even if you didn’t really believe it, so that’s what he was gonna do.
Dib pulled out the flour and measured it, pouring it in the mixing bowl once it was at the right level. Next was baking powder, baking soda, sugar, and heavy cream. Dib ran his eyes across the bottle of cream for not the first time. The store didn’t exactly have just “heavy cream.” “Heavy whipping cream,” it read. The names were pretty close and he was going to try and make whipped cream anyways. It was probably the same, right? He couldn’t find anything saying it was different (not that he found anything saying it was the same, either). Somewhere that voice trapped in the box whispered that he was already fucking up. He was probably fine. If it was the only one the store had it was probably the most common one anyways.
As he mixed the ingredients together Dib allowed his mind to wander. That cold winter in his car, being sick in his apartment, lunch after lunch of carefully crafted meals, all wrapped in hearts and flowers. He found himself thinking about those times a lot. A large part of him laughed, wondering how he was able to jump through so many hoops to explain why Zim would go through all that trouble, what nefarious plot they could possibly be apart of, when the answer was (quite literally) written in front of him. A larger part said he was stupid if he really thought this was real, that this wasn’t just some long con at his expense and the ball would drop soon enough.
It wasn’t surprising the lunches were on his mind now, anyways. It’s what spurred the baking adventure he was currently on. Zim tried so hard despite Dib’s bad attitude, his denial, even his blatant refusal to eat at times. He wanted to return the favor, at least a little bit.
Dib let out a sigh as the mixture was finally done, rolling his shoulder a bit. Somehow the mixing was surprisingly tiring. Sure, he could keep up with the plots of an alien invader with technology far more advanced than his own since he was 12, but mixing cake batter was the real test of strength. Repetitive motion, he supposed. He poured the mix into the baking pan and stuffed it in the oven. Oh, shit, he forgot to preheat it. Did anyone really even do that? Seemed like a waste of power, honestly. He set his phone timer for an extra 10 minutes than the recipe called for, hoping that’d make up for it.
Alright, all that was left to do was the whipped cream. He was breezing through this recipe! He could almost imagine the look on Zim’s face when he got back. Sure, Dib didn’t have fancy wrapping paper, and honestly, the cake would probably look like shit. But as long as it tasted fine that was the most important part, right?
Dib pulled a separate bowl from the upper cupboard, combined the whipped cream ingredients, and got to work on stirring. The recipe said to use a mixer but he didn’t exactly have one of those, so he was stuck using good ol’ elbow grease. He tried to make up for it by mixing faster but figured the speed wasn’t gonna be a huge factor in the outcome.
Or, so he thought, at least.
Five minutes of mixing later and the cream hadn’t taken on any kind of fluffy quality. Just the same white goop. It was supposed to get light and fluffy two minutes in. Did he forget something? He rechecked the recipe. Cream, sugar, vanilla, lemon zest. It was all in there. Was he just not going fast enough? Maybe the mixer was more crucial than he thought. He plopped himself on the ground and kicked his whisking up a notch. Another few minutes and the only significant change was that the goop was maybe a little thicker. That, and he definitely got a good portion of it all over his shirt. Great.
Alright, the recipe did stress the heavy cream needed to be chilled before mixing. Did he let it sit outside the fridge too long? He could leave it in the freezer for a bit, let the cold firm it up a little? He swallowed down the rising disgust at himself, he was such a fucking idiot, he didn’t even know how to fix his mistake. Yeah, that’d work. With a grunt he got to his feet-
SMACK.
“Shit, goddamn it!” Dib instantly recoiled, clutching at the back of his head where the open cupboard lovingly smacked into his skull. He slammed the door shut with bang, the loud sound satisfying his anger a little bit. Stomping over to the freezer he shoved aside the assortment of raw meats and frozen veggies (things Zim planned on cooking at some point), and stuffed the whipped cream in, slamming the door shut.
“It’s fine, you’re fine. Nothing’s ruined, it’ll be fine.” Wow you’re trying really hard to sell this, huh? Can’t even convince yourself to buy your own words without lying first.
Dib leaned against the kitchen counter, silently fuming at the throb on the back of his head. He could feel self-loathing spilling into his brain like a fog, seeping out from that mental lockbox he tried to shove it in. He shook his head and did his best to focus on the goal. Zim would be so happy Dib made him a present, he’d get to see that huge smile that had his heart squeezing funny, ruby eyes lighting up with appreciation. The idea soothed his mind a bit. He could get through a few hang-ups if he got to see that expression and…
Was something burning?
“Seriously?!” Dib yelled as he pushed away from the counter. He threw the oven open and grabbed the baking tin only to recoil back in pain as his hand came into contact with the hot metal. Dib cursed, shaking out his hand and grabbing the oven mitt staring him in the face. Sure, go ahead, just fucking break yourself while making your thank you gift. Nothing says “I appreciate you” like making him clean up your fucking mess.
The tin landed on the stove with a clatter as Dib quickly turned away to grab ice for his hand.
Only to be greeted with a freezer that had whipped cream spilled all over it. The half-empty mixing bowl clattered to the floor as the door swung open, a few splatters of not-quite-frozen whipped cream leaping to the floor as it did. No, it’s fine, it’s okay. They could always just buy whipped cream at the store. He was pretty sure Zim wasn’t allergic to normal whipped cream anyways. You can’t even put something in the fridge without fucking it up? Why are you even bothering?
Dib stuffed a few ice cubes into a plastic bag and clutched his fingers around it. With a grimace he turned off the phone timer that only decided to start ringing just now and looked over the cake. Honestly, it wasn’t even burned that much, they could just not eat the bottom. Geez, you’re really going for a record trying to screw up every stage of this project huh?
Was the cake… supposed to look like a biscuit? He tore off a piece and popped it in his mouth. Was it also supposed to taste bland as hell like a biscuit, too?
Despite the bag of ice pain stabbed through the skin of Dib’s hand anyways, only adding to the misery of his failed creation. Look, he couldn’t expect things to be perfect. It was his first time trying to bake something. Plenty of people probably messed things like this up. You couldn’t even make a damn cake. Honestly, why did you even bother trying? How many other things have you fucked up that were way easier than cooking and you couldn’t even do those right? What made you think you could get this right?
Dib slid to the floor, focusing on the quiet sting of his burned hand. He felt that urge to visit the nearby drugstore. He might’ve bought a bottle of something, too, were his wallet not thoroughly cleaned out from buying all the cake ingredients. Couldn’t get drunk if he wanted to.
And damn he wanted to right now.
Amber eyes glanced around the kitchen, taking in the few splatters of whipped cream on the floor, quickly melting into puddles now. He… could at least up the mess he made before Zim got back.
The frown on his face deepened.
Well, knowing you, you’ll probably find a way to fuck that up, too.
 =
 Zim slid the window to the apartment open, wasting no time scurrying in and ripping off his disguise. How Gir escaped view of his cameras long enough to floor half the base he’d never know. Computer wasn’t any help telling him what happened either. Zim suspected whatever started the whole “beach party” idea was both Gir and Computer’s idea.
Zim’s internal ranting didn’t have long to continue before his now-freed antenna picked up the scent of something burnt, as well as something sweet and almost… milky? Compound eyes were greeted with a less-than-clean kitchen, used and abandoned cooking utensils, and a few tiny puddles of something melted on the floor. Confusion buzzed around the Irken’s mind before worry crept up his throat when he realized he couldn’t see Dib in the small space around him.
Slow-creeping dread dropped like a rock in his gut as anxiety moved his limbs. “Dib?” Zim called, receiving no answer. As terrifying rooftop rescues were at least they were known. What was Zim supposed to do for this new situation? What was the protocol?
His panic didn’t last for long as he skidded past the kitchen and caught sight of his human’s familiar form. Relief quickly flooded over him and he ran to Dib’s side.
“Dib-beast, what happened, are you okay?”
Dib jumped a little, as if startled from sleep, and looked at Zim. “Oh, hey space boy, welcome back.”
Zim frowned. Dib had that… look in his eyes that he didn’t like. That faraway look he often had during drunken hazes, staring off into nothing like there was a storm brewing in his head with threats of nothing good.
The alien grabbed Dib’s face with both hands, turning him left and right to check for injuries, Dib scrunching his eyes as he did. Zim pursed his lips when he noticed the melting pack of ice in his human’s grip.
“Burned myself on the stove, no biggie.” Dib shrugged. Zim’s brow furrowed, giving Dib’s cheeks a squeeze before getting up to grab some first-aid things.
“So, were you going to tell me what happened here or do I have to check the cameras?” Zim plopped back down next to Dib, pulling the injured hand into his lap to treat it.
Dib snorted. “Ha, nice try, I already found ‘em all.”
“Mhm, yup, you certainly did. No use looking for more, they’re all gone.”
Zim couldn’t resist a grin at the glare and eyeroll he received. He didn’t know if Dib had actually found all his cameras yet, but no sense in letting the stinky know if there were actually more or not.
“Sorry about the mess,” Dib mumbled. “I was gonna clean it up before you got back. I got kinda...” A sigh. “Distracted.”
Zim finished wrapping up Dib’s injury with a band-aid and glanced around the kitchen once more. It seemed to have been some sort of… baking attempt, from what he could gather. But why wait until he was gone to do it?
“You are forgiven… only if you tell Zim was all this-” he gestured to the mess “-was about.”
Zim watched his human’s expression as he started back at him, seeming to debate whether he wanted to elaborate or not. Finally, he looked away with a sigh and Zim thought he saw the slightest hint of a blush on his cheeks.
“I was uh, trying to bake.” Zim could only just barely understand Dib through his purposeful mumbling. “A cake. For, uh, for you. To say thanks, you know. For all the food you’re always making me.” As he spoke his cheeks got redder and he started scratching at the back of his neck, a habit Zim noticed he usually did when he was nervous. “As you can see it didn’t really work out that well.” Dib gave a laugh but it felt so hollow to Zim’s antenna. The kind of laugh you did when you were trying to assure others you were fine but couldn’t really put any effort in it.
As the Irken glanced around he could spot all the different bowls, measuring spoons, and other utensils his Dib used. He… tried really hard, didn’t he? And now he was on the floor, looking like the entire world was crashing down and it was his own fault. Sad and warm feelings both swirled around Zim’s gut, a confusing swirl of emotion he wasn’t sure how to process.
Zim placed his hand on Dib’s leg and leaned up to press his lips to Dib’s, much to the human’s surprise. Zim felt Dib stiffen only slightly before relaxing in his hold, reciprocating the kiss. Zim’s antenna instinctively wrapped themselves around the untied scythe of hair atop Dib’s head. Hmm, it was getting long. They’d need to cut it again soon.
Zim pulled back from the kiss only slightly, resting his forehead against Dib’s as he brought up a hand to stroke Dib’s cheek. “Thank you, Dib-beast.”
Despite the slightly flustered look Dib managed to pull himself together enough to furrow his brows. “For what? The cake’s not even good. Trust me, I tried it. All I managed to make is a huge mess.”
One of Zim’s antenna bent down to lightly bop Dib’s cheek. “For trying so hard to make something special for me. For going out of your way to make it a surprise. For telling me you appreciated the things I did.” Zim leaned forward to nuzzle against Dib. “Thank you for all of that.”
Dib let out a sigh and Zim felt arms wrap around his waist and hoist him into Dib’s lap. His human easily nuzzled into his shoulder and Zim did the same, feeling long legs bending up and resting against his PAK. They fell into their embrace so easily, like they were supposed to fit together. Zim was sure he’d be perfectly happy just sitting like this with Dib for the rest of time.
The two stayed like that for a long while, Dib’s lanky arms wrapped around Zim in a tight vice, Zim content to breathe in Dib’s presence. Eventually they were interrupted by a low grumbling centered at Dib’s stomach. Zim let out a snicker at the very graceful noise, earning him a slightly embarrassed “shut up” from Dib. Zim gave a smell peck on the lips to placate his human and rose to his feet, offering Dib a hand to help hoist him up.
“What do you say we try and make a cake some other time?” Zim offered. “Now that I know I’m owed a gift, of course.”
Dib looked down with a rueful smile. “Not worried I’ll mess it up?” He said with a slight scoff.
Zim’s brows furrowed as he rose up on his PAK legs to be at eye-level with his human. “Not at all because I know how smart you are. Besides,” Zim said, running a finger along a glob of wet goop and popping it in his mouth. Hm, slightly sweet. “You know baking is like, level 20 cooking, right?”
“Hah?”
“Yeah.” Zim reached into the fridge, looking for some leftovers for Dib, his eye spotting the tub of strawberries soaking in sugar. Oh, those looked good, they could probably use those tomorrow. “If you’re going to try something new you’re supposed to start at level 1, stinky. Most cooking you can just kind of eyeball how much seasoning you want for things. But baking is very exact a lot of the time. You humans took cooking and decided to make it as finicky as chemistry for no good reason.” He pulled a tub of spaghetti from the fridge and popped it in the microwave.
“With both of us tackling it we’ll make a cake that rivals anything some dookie-brained ‘top chef’ could make.” Zim plopped himself on a clean section of counter, antenna sticking up as he boasted for the both of them.
Dib scoffed with a laugh and pulled the spaghetti out of the microwave once it was done. He pulled a fork from the sink of yet-to-be-put-away dishes and leaned against the counter next to Zim. “If you say so, space boy.”
Zim’s antenna quickly accosted Dib’s hair as he neared, tangling and wrapping themselves into place, vibrating with a happiness that said they were exactly where they belonged. “I know so,” he replied matter-of-factly.
=
The two made the shortcake later that week, despite Dib’s quiet protests. Zim even stole obtained an electric mixer just for the whipped cream. Dib complained that Zim was making him do all the work (Zim’s repeated answer to that was “it’s a present for me, why should I have to do the work?”) Once it was all done though Dib had to admit, it didn’t look bad. Granted, it didn’t exactly look magazine-worthy, but it was presentable. Better yet, it actually tasted pretty damn good. Good enough that he had to fight Zim over the last piece.
For once, that voice inside his mental lockbox had nothing to say.
=
How in-character is this oneshot actually? It’s a mystery, who knows, certainly not me. It’s been sent out into the world how in character they are is no longer my problem that’s a y’all kinda issue now 💅���
Go! Take! A gander! At! @reynaruina ‘s Ponytail Dib! AU! If! You Like! To Cry! (Though things have been looking up in those little blurbs and comics reyna’s making so hopefully there will be less crying soon 🎉)
Fun fact: a huge chunk of Dib’s failure to make a strawberry shortcake from scratch was based on my own failed attempt. I still don’t know if there’s a difference between heavy cream and heavy whipping cream or if an electric mixer mattered. No, stuffing the whipped cream into the freezer didn’t help make it fluffy either. RIP my shortcake 2019-2019 🤘🏽😔
Double fun fact: Did you know apparently classic strawberry shortcakes are actually gross disgusting lumpy buscuit-ass lookin’ mutherfuckers and not fluffy sweet cake things? Whoever the hell thought purposefully bland cake was what strawberry shortcakes needed to be should be forced to step on legos forever. They also owe me 20 bucks cuz I thought I was making the sweet fluffy kind of cake and instead of forced to eat a flavorless biscuit with strawberries on it. EVIL.
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anonymoosen · 7 months ago
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*ZIMHALES* TWO VERY TALENTED AND SUPER COOL ARTISTS AND ANIMATORS I LOOK UP TO.
COLLABORATING.
I ACTUALLY REPLAYED THIS A SHMILLION TIMESSS SCREEJEEJJRKEK LIKE WHATTT ITS SO FRIGGIN SMOOTH AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE CANON THING LIKE AN OFFICIAL ANIMATION FROM THE SHOW
CRAZY FANGIRLING NOISES UNDER THE CUT!1!1!11
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THESE LOOK SO FRIGGIN GOOD LIKE I LOVE THE DETERMINED LOOK ON THEIR FACES!! DIBS SO CUTE AND HES DOING THAT ACTION POSE WITH HIS FIST BEING CLENCHED LOOKING SO CONFIDENT AND I ALSO LOVE THE BACKGROUND WITH THE WHITE COMIC CLASH EFFECT THINGY WHATEVER U CALL IT THERE CUZ IT RLLY SHOWS HOW WILLING HE IS TO STOP ZIM I ALWAYS LOVE HOW MUSHY MADNES DRAWS DIB CUZ AGAIN HES SUCH AN ADORABLE BEAN IN THEIR STYLE RAAHHHFHDJDJFJF
SPEAKING OF ZIM, AS ALWAYS, @dunybuh IS MAKING IT LOOK SO FRIGGIN OFFICIAL AND LIKE ITS AN ACTUAL CLIP FROM THE MOVIE WITH THEIR AMAZIM TALENT OF MAKING ANIMATIONS OF THE COMICS AND THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF THEIR TALENT— LIKE THE SHADING IN ZIMS EYES WITH THE HIGHLIGHTS LOOKS SO PRETTY AND THE WHOLE EVIL VILLAIN POSING WITH EVEN THE EARTH THERE TOO AND PAK LEGS THING IS SO WELL DRAWN I LOVE IT LIKE ITS LITERALLYYYY AS IF ITS FROM THE MOVIE AND IM ALWAYS GONNA THINK UR SECRETLY AN OFFICIAL ANIMATOR FROM THE IZ TEAM KFDKFKKF
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STAHPPP WHY ARE THEY SO PRECIOUSSS AHDHEJDJDJ MUSHY U KEEP DRAWING DIB AS SUCH A PRECIOUS BOI I LOVE IT LIKE THE WAY HES JUST HOLDING THE WATER BALLOON READY FOR ATTACK WITH THAT CUTE SMILE ON HIS FACE!11!11!1 AHDHSJ I LOVE THISSS LIKE AGAIN ITS SO WELL DRAWN
AND ALSOO ZIM WITH GIR AND MINIMOOSE IS SO CUTE TOO LIKE GIR IS ALSO A PRECIOUS BABEY HE JUST LOOKS HAPPY TO BE THERE AND MINIMOOSE IS SO ADORABLE TOO I LOVE THE EFFORT U PUT IN DRAWING THESE CHARACTERS AND I LOVE ZIMS WIDE SMILE TOO
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AH YES- THE FACE OFF FJDKFKDKFKD I LOVE THISSSS ABDHSJDJ THE WATER BALLOON AND THE MACHINE DIB HAS AND DIBS WIDE SMILEEEE AND HIS DETERMINED FACE AGAIN AHFJSJD MUSHY U RLLY CAPTURED HIS PERSONALITY SO WELL HERE AND LIKE THE MACHINE IS RLLY DETAILEDLY DRAWN TOO!!
SPEAKING OF DETAILEDLY DRAWN, I LOVE ZIMS PAK LEG LASER THING LIKE AGAIN IT LOOKS DETAILED AND SUPER COOL AND HOW ZIMS FIST IS CLENCHED WITH AN ANGY FACE AND HOW THE MOUTH ABSOLUTELY BEING IN THE PERFECT PROPORTION OF HOW THE IZ ART STYLE DRAWS MOUTHS LIKEEE FJDJDJ ITS SO COOLL
IN CONCLUSION, THEYRE BOTH SUCH AMAZIM AND INCREDIBLE AND HIGHLY SKILLED ANIMATORS AND MORE PPL SHOULD FOLLOW THEM!!
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ANIMATION MEME COLLAB WITH @dunybuh!!! its so awesome you might need to check it out!
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th3atr3phant0m · 4 years ago
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Siren Head
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It came as a surprise to absolutely no one who even slightly knew Dib that he spent his free time investigating and attempting to hunt down cryptids. He was a fanatic in every sense of the word and incredibly interested in the side of the world (and the parts of the universe) that the majority of the others around him tended to overlook. Paranormal creatures and aliens alike had always been at the epicentre of Dib’s little world growing up and, to his father’s slight dismay, that never changed. Even as an adult, his enthusiasm never waned nor faltered.
In fact, it only became easier for him to follow these aspirations as his life went on. Not only did he have his own intellect and his family’s technology on his side, but he had an accomplice as well. His now “frenemy” (Dib loathed that word) of sorts: Zim.
Despite the complicated history of their odd relationship, the two couldn’t deny that they had grown to care for one another over the years and, slowly, they fell into a somewhat stable pattern. In spite of everything that had happened- or perhaps because of everything that had happened between them- they found themselves spending a great deal of time together. At the moment, though, neither of them were secure enough to hang out with the other aimlessly as normal friends did. They were too tied up in their own pride to allow themselves to just spend time with the other for fun- there had to be a reason behind their little get-togethers. Instead of caving and just acting as though they were a typical couple of friends, they did something that was far more intense yet still incredibly fun and interesting for one another: dual cryptid hunting.
While Zim wasn’t as passionate about the paranormal as Dib was, he found Dib’s enthusiasm beautiful and intriguing in a way that made him almost as excited as Dib was about their searches. Besides that, it was just fun and interesting in general. It allowed him to see strange parts of Earth that could definitely give him an advantage if he ever actually got around to overtaking the damned planet. It also gave him something to do- something to focus on that, strangely, made him happy. It fulfilled him in a way that many other things had failed to.
What made Zim less happy was the possibility that either of them could get severely injured or, in Dib’s case, wind up dead during their exploration. That wasn’t something that the Irken liked to focus on, though, and, truly it wasn’t a worry that popped into his mind too frequently. Especially not when they were doing the more boring but necessary parts of their “work”.
Currently, the two of them were sprawled across the floor in the centre of Zim’s living room, each on their own devices and researching the cryptid that Dib- and the majority of the internet- had most recently taken interest in: Siren Head. Zim lay on his stomach as he stared at the computer before him, mild disinterest in his eyes. He… didn’t always enjoy the less hands-on parts of this cryptid hunting- at least not when they dragged on for a long time. They had been at this for what felt like ages . So long had they been there, in fact, that Gir had fallen asleep. The fact that the tiny SIR unit who had been hell-bent on bothering them throughout the entirety of their “study session” was telling of how long they had been there and, honestly, quite the feat.
Dib, on the other hand, was far more engrossed than Zim was. While he loved the more physical aspects of getting into the field and actually interacting with the cryptids, he also loved just reading about them, gathering information about the strange happenings surrounding them and the lore that came along with their existence. Throughout almost the entire time that they had been in Zim’s base that day, Dib had remained steadfast in his focus. He had happily let himself fall into the rabbit-hole of the internet that was Siren Head and never once had his interest faltered. It was almost impressive how Dib had barely broken eye contact with his studies (and it made Zim wonder if he was this intense about his actual studies at university).
Zim tore his ruby eyes away from Dib to focus back on the device before him, lekku drooping with slight boredom as he did so.
As if sensing Zim’s waning interest, Dib paused from his typing and closed his laptop to focus his attention on his burnt-out friend, instead. His eyes looked slightly strained and tired from staring at the screen for an extended period of time and he rubbed at them briefly before speaking, “Not enough excitement for you, Space Boy?”
Zim rolled his eyes, though it was a far less useful gesture when he wasn’t wearing contacts that allowed him to make it obvious that he was attempting to do so.
Dib stretched his arms above his head, arching his back so that his spine popped satisfyingly- Zim continued to find it strange that it was normal for human bodies to make such noises- before crossing his legs and leaning back on his arms, “I can leave if you don’t want to research any more for the night.”
Zim didn’t want Dib to leave. It was nice to have someone other than GIR to visit with- someone that he could have real, intelligent conversations with. Of course, Zim appreciated the fact that he had GIR- despite how useless the robot could be most times, he did truly enjoy spending time with him- but he appreciated having other people in his life, as well, and Dib was one of those people.
“You don’t have to leave just because there isn’t any more interesting information to find about this creature.”
“Hey, there’s plenty of interesting stuff about this guy!” Dib defended.
“And we’ve seen it all already.”
“Well, sorry for not being stupid enough to run head-on into danger without knowing what I’m up against.”
Zim smirked at that, “You’ve done that your entire life, Dib-Stink.”
Dib flipped his friend off, though there was no malice behind the action, “We still don’t really know how or if we can kill or restrain it. That’s really the only thing I want to find out before we go looking for it.”
“I don’t think the humans have that knowledge, yet, Dib.”
Dib frowned at that, suspecting that Zim was right. The expression faded just as quickly as it had appeared, though, “That’s fine. That just means that we will be the people to find out whatever this thing’s weakness is!”
The corner of Zim’s lips quirked up to form a small, half-smile. There were many things that Zim had once detested about Dib but now liked or found admirable about him. One of the major things, though, was his absolutely unrelenting determination and refusal to be taken down or discouraged by anything . It was a hell of a thing to be up against and had been ridiculously annoying back when they were still constantly at each other’s throats. Now, though, it was one of the best traits to have in an ally.
“It’s getting late,” Zim noted, looking at the time on the analogue clock that hung above the television, “Don’t you humans typically sleep at this time?”
“What about me screams ‘I do typical human things’?” Dib joked, “I’m spending my free time with an alien who used to be my nemesis.”
Zim chuckled, “You do need to sleep at some point, though.”
“Aww, you care about my health, Lizard?” Dib teased.
Zim did his best to flip off Dib, though the motion was far less effective on someone who only had three fingers as opposed to the typical five of a human and the gesture only made Dib laugh.
“Okay, okay, I’ll sleep when I get home. I just don’t want to drive when it’s this dark out- I’ll wake up my roommates if I try to head back to my dorm now.” Dib hadn’t intended to spend the entire evening and into the late hours of the night there, but time had really gotten away from the two of them. Dib had been far too focused on his research and on talking to Zim than he had been on keeping track of time, and Dib doubted that Zim really had any concept of Earthen time to begin with.
“Stinky, you can sleep here, you know.” Zim suggested, “Zim’s superior Irken form doesn’t require sleep, but I am capable of sleep and have comfortable places where you can sleep for the night if you need to.”
Dib rolled his eyes at Zim’s casual mention of the strength of the Irken race but said nothing about it considering how common it was for him to boast about not only his importance and power, but that of his entire race’s as well, “Thanks, Zim, but I’ll be fine.”
“You’re going to pass out in the middle of doing research and sleep on the floor, aren’t you?” Zim asked, though it didn’t come out as much of a question.
“You have such little faith in me,” Dib shook his head.
“You are human after all,” Zim retorted, grinning.
Dib snorted. “Dick,” the insult sounded far more affectionate than he had intended, though.
~~~
“Okay, so, the way I see it, there are only three basic steps that we need to take for this to be successful.”
“And what, exactly, do you propose those steps would be?” Zim asked.
“Step one: Research-”
“We’ve already completed that step.”
“I wasn’t saying that we hadn’t-”
“It was implied.”
“Can you just shut up and let me finish?” Dib rolled his eyes, continuing to speak once Zim went quiet, allowing him to do so, “Step two: acquire materials.”
“And step three?”
“That’s where we actually go into the forest in search of Siren Head.”
“Then, in your opinion, we’re already one-third of the way complete?”
“Pretty much. I mean, it’s an incredibly simplified step-by-step list, but, really, researching and gathering materials is all we need to do before we actually head out there. We don’t need to complicate the process.”
“You say that as if that isn’t something you do as frequently as breathing.”
“ You’re one to talk,” Dib retorted, grabbing a pad of paper and a pen, “Anyways, what do we know that we need to bring with us? Other than audio and video recording devices for evidence, obviously.”
“Some sort of noise-cancelling headphones.”
“For the screaming?” Siren Head was known for deafening people with screams that were so intense and caused such pain that their ears bled and they went crazy from the sound. Many had, supposedly, been immobilized by the creature’s screams.
“No, for the aesthetic- yes , for the screaming you imbecile.”
Dib glared at that comment, “The only problem with that is that no human-made technology would be strong enough for that- nothing that we have access to, anyways. Besides, if we’re both wearing headphone that completely cancels out the noise around us, we won’t be able to hear one another or the warning signs that it’s getting closer.”
“One, you’re the only one who is in need of the headphones,” Zim countered, holding up one clawed finger as he began his list, “Two, you wouldn’t listen to the warnings of it approaching even if you did hear them.”
“I wouldn’t heed the warnings, but it’s still safer to know what’s happening and be able to prepare for it properly,” Dib paused, “And why do I need the headphones but not you ?”
“That thing could kill humans by drawing them in with false or hypnotic noises or by screaming and bursting their eardrums. Irkens , on the other hand, don’t process sound in the ways that you do. I won’t sustain serious damage or lose my hearing permanently if I listen to its noises. You will.”
“Don’t Irkens have better hearing than humans?”
“I didn’t say it wouldn’t hurt , it just won’t be able to seriously harm me- my pak defence and healing mechanisms won’t allow that to happen.”
“Fair enough, I guess, but aren’t you capable of being hypnotised by sounds? Or being tricked by it faking voices of people you know?”
“ Technically , but it won’t happen.”
Dib looked unimpressed and raised a brow.
Zim sighed, “It could trick or hypnotize me, but since we’re going out there looking for it rather than stumbling upon it unexpectedly, I don’t think it will be as effective against either of us.”
That was a fairly decent point and made sense based off of the evidence. It would be far more difficult for it to trick them when they knew what it had on its side as far as power went.
“Fine,” Dib relented, “But we really should make some sort of protectors for you, as well. I don’t want you to be completely vulnerable out there, even if your headphones won’t be as effective.”
“I’d really rather not wear a ridiculous pair of headphones just to make the noises slightly less intense. It’s likely that I’ll still be able to hear it, either way.”
“And I’d rather you not go crazy in the middle of the woods because some loud noises overtake you and scramble your brain,” Dib countered, “Even if they aren’t perfect with blocking everything out, they’ll do enough to keep you safe. Plus, if you can still hear with them, you’ll be able to use that to our advantage- hopefully without getting too hurt.”
Zim groaned, “ Fine , if it will calm you down, I’ll do it.”
“Good,” Dib gave him a small smile, glad he had won the debate, “Let’s get started on making those headphones.”
~~~
While humans had made leaps and bounds in creating headphones and earbuds that were fairly good at blocking out other sounds from outside sources, none of them would be powerful enough to block out anything loud enough to burst people’s eardrums. Especially considering the fact that Zim had far better hearing than most humans did (and had a different skull structure than them), no regular headphones would work for him. Nothing that they could find online or in stores in person would be good enough for what they needed and they weren’t certain that any currently existing headphones were good enough to even use as a base. That in mind, Zim and Dib decided to completely start from scratch when making the headphones.
For the most part, the only thing that they used normal headphone blueprints for was getting the shape correct for Dib’s pair of headphones. Other than that, they almost completely ignored the typical process for creating the device.
While most headphones were made of plastics, vinyls, and silicone, the main materials that they used were ones that were used frequently by the Irken Armada and couldn’t even be found on Earth as well as strong but typical Earthen metals. These things would block sound, reflecting it rather than absorbing or drawing it in. For the pieces that would be the closest Dib’s ears, they used things that were able to be found on earth- mainly consisting of pliable, porous cloth and sealant.
It took quite a bit of time to perfect the headphones. While Zim and Dib wanted to complete the project together, Dib had college classes and Zim had a part-time job, so their schedules clashed often, making it sometimes difficult for them to get enough time together for them to be able to fully focus on and make progress for their project.
Despite the scheduling difficulties they faced on more than one occasion, they were eventually able to create something that they hoped would work perfectly for their plan- one pair of headphones that were completely noise cancelling for Dib and one pair of vaguely headphone-esque things that lessened noise for Zim.
At least, they were hopeful that the things would work. While both of them were very confident in their abilities and the work that they had created together, they decided that it would be best for them to try out their inventions before actually trying to find Siren Head. They didn’t want to get into the forest and find Siren Head only to discover that their devices worked far less well than they intended and have either of them sustain serious injuries due to it.
This lead to some serious testing as well as some… not so serious testing of their devices.
“CAN YOU HEAR ME?!” Zim was screaming at the top of his lungs- something that he was quite good at considering all fo the practice he had gotten for it over the years.
Egged on by the excitement of the situation, GIR joined in on the screaming fest, voice becoming nearly as loud as Zim’s while hitting a far higher octave, “CAN YOU HEAR? CAN YOU!?”
“I CAN SEE THAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING, BUT I CAN’T HEAR SHIT,” Dib called back. He couldn’t hear his own voice as clearly or as loudly as he typically was able to, and he couldn’t truly tell how loud he was being, leading to him screaming rather than speaking his questions.
Zim blinked, unable to hear either of them at all, “WHAT?” “WHAT?” Dib screamed back, squinting as if trying to read Zim’s lips.
Zim removed his own headphones, confident that they worked well enough for their upcoming expedition. He continued to scream, though, wanting to see whether or not Dib’s were working as well as his had.
“CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Zim repeated, keeping his volume consistent with how loud he had been screaming previously.
“I CAN’T HEAR- ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE YELLING LOUD ENOUGH?”
“WE ARE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF OUR-”
GIR cut Zim off with a loud screech that pierced through Zim words, cutting through their air like a knife with his nonsensical noises. He began screaming and continued to make the hideous noise for several long moments that Zim found agonizingly irritating, pinning his antenna back both at the loud noise and the annoyance of GIR’s actions.
Once the silence finally returned, Zim spoked, “Are you done ?”
His question was met with another loud scream from GIR- though this time it was, thankfully, far shorter and less intense.
Zim put a hand over his face, rubbing his temples for a moment before looking up to Dib and meeting his eyes, “So, I take it you didn’t-”
“I STILL CAN’T HEAR YOU.”
With a groan, Zim mimed taking off the headphones. Dib followed suit by actually removing them once seeing this.
“So I take it you didn’t hear any of that?” Zim asked, eyes flickering over to GIR in a slightly distasteful manner, still somewhat disturbed by the robot’s earlier display.
“Nope!” Dib followed Zim’s gaze to the robot, who was, at that point, cheerfully playing with some random pieces of scrap metal he had found scattered around the lab and put two and two together, “I guess it worked, then?”
“Good,” Zim couldn’t hold back his pleased smile at the confirmation that it had worked, proud of himself- of them as a team- for putting together something that was not only perfect for what they needed, but that actually functioned well, “Does this mean we can move onto the final step?”
“We should probably get some other basic supplies, but, other than that...” Dib found himself grinning as well, amber eyes shining with delighted excitement, “I think we’re actually good to go!”
That night, the two of them celebrated with some strange, homemade waffles that GIR made. The waffles were surprisingly very good, despite the strangeness of having waffles that had M&M’s and sprinkles mixed into the batter, and it seemed like a fitting way to celebrate their success. Plus, GIR was thrilled to be able to be part of their operation in one way or another.
All in all, the day had been a complete success.
~~~
Dib wasn’t the tallest person ever, but, considering his source of genetic material, he was no shrimp, either. Over the years, he had grown quite a bit- as humans tend to do- and even Zim wasn’t as short as he had been when he first arrived on Earth. Despite that, the two of them knew that their height was nothing compared to that of the Siren Head and their stature would be a massive handicap when they went up against the large creature.
Because of this, they decided that they would need to obtain one more thing for their expedition to be successful (though they hated to put it off even longer): grappling hooks.
As ridiculous as it sounded, they knew that there was little chance that they would be able to do much to harm or restrain Siren Head without the assistance of such devices and, according to WikiHow, they were incredibly easy to make.
Making the grappling hooks themselves wasn’t too difficult. All that they truly needed were ropes (they used ones of steel to avoid easy breaks), hooks, and, if they were feeling fancy, some sort of launching mechanism. Their combined knowledge of engineering and machinery made it incredibly easy for the two of them to create several of these grappling hooks quickly, leaving them with three each- all of which they were able to complete in one day.
Even the testing of these devices was quick and easy… and, in all honesty, incredibly fun for the two of them. They would be lying if they said that they hadn’t spent more time playing around with them than necessary.
Together, they spent hours messing around with the grappling hooks as they worked to “test” them. They launched the hooks to the tops of buildings and grappled their way around. They worked on their aim and general handling of the devices of course, but, for the most part, they just fooled around with the machines, having fun swinging around like idiots.
During this “testing” period of their preparation journey, Dib finally decided what his favourite part about Zim’s entire house was: the numerous tubes and wires that hung in a massive tangle above their heads in every room.
“Fuck off, Fool-Boy!” Zim screeched as he attempted to outrun- outswing? Outgrapple?- Dib.
“Never, Lizard-Feed!” Dib cackled. He was doing his best to dual wield two of his grappling hooks so that he could move as quickly as possible. While the basement of Zim’s home was practically a labyrinth, the complexities of the wires above gave him plenty of material for travel.
Dib wasn’t the only one who was proficient with a grappling hook, though.
Just as quickly as Dib zipped through the air, Zim dodged his playful attacks and avoided him with just as much grace as his human counterpart. Throughout their childhoods, they had had numerous run-ins with one another and had fought so frequently that an elaborate dance developed between the two of them as time went on. Nothing really compared to their Spider-Man-esque battle among the wires of Zim’s ceiling, though.
“You have the grace of a piñata, Dib-Thing,” Zim glanced over his shoulder only to shoot Dib an overly-confident grin, “You have no chance against m-”
Rudely, Dib swung up right beside Zim, kicking at him to throw him off-balance since neither of his hands were free. He manically laughed as Zim let out a startled shreik, swinging away before Zim had time to recover and retaliate.
“Oh, you are dead , now, Stinky!”
Dib wasn’t threatened by Zim’s words in the least. In fact, they just inspired him to make another attack on his other-worldly friend.
With a high-pitched chirp, Zim extended his pak legs and retracted his grappling hooks, opting to run instead.
“Hey, that’s cheating!” Dib chuckled, attempt to gain enough control over his own grappling hooks to apprehend Zim. The added speed and power that Zim had with the pak legs, though, made it a bit difficult.
“There are no laws of cryptid hunting, Dib-Beast.”
“For someone’s who’s only recently start cryptid hunting, you sure sound confident about that,” Dib raised an eyebrow but he was far more intent on their strange game of tag than on their usual banter. Still, their playful back and forth was a constant in their strange relationship and neither of them dropped it, even when they were more focused on other things.
“And for someone from a species completely inadequate compared to mine, you sure sound confident when talking about besting me.” Zim leapt to the side, thankful that his nimble pak legs made it possible for him to avoid his friend’s “attacks” against him.
“Well, I did succeed in making you stop trying to plan world dominaion, so I’d say I have a right to my confidence.”
Zim let out an affronted noise as though Dib’s words were an unforgivable attack upon his entire species, “You convinced me of nothing! I made that decision completely of my own volition. I don’t need a human to tell m- ACK!”
Zim’s haughty rant was cut off by Dib crashing into him at full speeds, the human deciding to take advantage of the alien’s moment of distraction to take him down and win this little game of theirs.
Dib was about to celebrate his success, but, when hurtling towards his friend as fast as his grappling hook would allow, he hadn’t taken into consideration the fact that just maybe swinging at a non-moving object at ridiculous speeds would end up taking him down as well.
The grip that Dib had on his grappling hook faltered and completely slipped from his grasp upon making contact with Zim, sending both of them crashing to the floor in a heap of tangled limbs. Zim landed beneath Dib in an uncomfortable position. Were he human, he would have completely knocked the air out of his lungs during their tumble.
Zim glared up at his human for a moment, but he couldn’t keep a straight face for too long- not when Dib was already dissolving into laughter.
“I really should have seen that coming.”
Zim began snickering at their fall as well, “You’re an absolute dunce , sometimes.”
Several moments passed between the two of them, neither bothering to move from their position entangled on the hard, tiled floor of the base, both laughing too hard and too amused by their combined stupidity in the situation to do anything else.
Finally, their laughter tapered off and the two of them looked up at Dib’s grappling hook, dangling from the sky. While both Dib and Zim had fallen upon impact, the device had stubbornly remained hooked to the wires of the ceiling, leaving it hanging several feet above their heads.
“How do you plan on getting that down, wise guy?”
Dib met Zim’s eyes with a grin, aiming his other grappling hook up near the other one. Really, Zim didn’t know what he expected if not that.
“I genuinely cannot believe that you’re still alive, Dib.”
~~~
Aside from the headphones and grappling hooks that Dib and Zim had created and now stored in Dib’s blue, mildly beaten up truck, the two of them also brought along anything that they believed could be of use to them on their journey. This included several different kinds of recording equipment, extra lengths of rope, a flashlight, and a device that registered all noises in the surrounding area and would display said noises visually for the two of them. These items were stored in Zim’s pak and the pockets of Dib’s coat, forgoing the extra storage of Dib’s briefcase for their actual trek out of a concern that it would get in the way.
Overall, the two of them felt extremely prepared for the entire situation and were confident that they would not only be alive by the end of the night but have some sort of definitive evidence to support their claims as well.
Dib parked the truck in a small, gravel lot not far from the forest that they were planning on traversing for the night. It was a dense, wooded area that stretched for several miles and was a popular camping ground. Despite this, it wasn’t difficult to spend an entire week camping out there without ever running into another person, considering the vastness of the forest (or so the internet said, neither Zim nor Dib had ever camped in that particular forest… or at all).
The forest was, in every way, the perfect hunting grounds for Siren Head and there had even been several supposed sightings and hearings of the creature alongside several strange disappearances and deaths related to the area.
While this forest was their best bet of finding it without leaving their state- or country, for that matter- it was also a massive area and they anticipated needing to spend quite a decent chunk of the night searching or even needing to return days later to look again (they did not look forward to trying to fit another night of this into their cluttered schedules). Zim didn’t need to sleep and therefore didn’t really get tired . Dib, on the other hand, was only human and prepared for spending the night searching by drinking four cups of coffee before leaving and sleeping for a bit of the day.
Dib was about to get out of the car before Zim grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
“What?” Dib asked, turning to face his friend.
Zim gestured towards the headphones they had made, “I’m not letting you get killed by that siren creature, Dib-Beast.”
Dib let out a small huff of air as he grabbed the two headsets, handing one of them to Zim, “Right back at you, Space Boy. If you need to say something, try to act it out or something.”
“Creative,” Zim teased, a small smirk on his lips, “Don’t forget to look at that device for anything peculiar. If you get yourself killed, I’ll bring you back myself so I can pummel you.”
Dib rolled his eyes, “Same to you, Zim.”
Zim puffed out his chest, huffing slightly, “As if you could ever do such a thing.”
Despite their words, though, they both chuckled.
With that, the two of them secured their headsets, completely cutting off the sound from the rest of the world for the time being. Losing an entire sense, even for a small amount of time, created a strange sense of vulnerability that neither of them was quite used to or comfortable with. Nonetheless, it was necessary for their safety, so the two of them simply exited and locked the truck behind them, carrying several pieces of their equipment along with them as they went.
There were a lot of things that could tip one off to the location of Siren Head. Those things, however, were only obvious if you knew what you were looking- or, in this case, listening- for. Almost everything that could lead them towards Siren Head was the sounds that the creature would emit, but leaving their headphones off for an extended period of time was not the safest course of action and neither Zim nor Dib were idiotic enough to completely forego the devices. Besides, the “hints” that came with Siren Head could be cryptic and, oftentimes, not really understood until it was too late.
White noise. Gentle breeze and running waters and distantly singing birds. The peaceful noises that everyone hears daily and pays little mind. The soft, lovely songs of the forest that people fall asleep to every night.
And then a terribly loud, ear-splitting, bone-chilling noise.
Followed by nothing.
No, they weren’t going to risk going through that just so that they could hear the “tell-tale” signs of Siren Head coming. They would hear the white noise of the forest all around them whether or not it was there- hearing it was a far cry from a true hint of what was to come. They were safer like this, even if neither of them wanted to admit it.
Dib opened his noise to speak as they drew nearer to the entrance of the dense forest before them, but, of course, Zim didn’t hear his question about where they should start. Dib just sighed.
They foraged forwards, heading into the thick woods. Underfoot, leaves crunched and twigs snapped but all of that remained utterly silent. It felt trange despite the fact that both of them knew that that would be the case before they even entered. The feeling of the ground beneath them was enough to ground Zim, even if he had completely lost another of his senses- one of the senses he relied upon the most.
For a moment, Dib glanced down to the device in his hands. The dimly lit green light displayed the noise all around them, showing that there was, in fact, very little going on in the woods. He did notice something, though. Further away, it looked as though there was a slightly louder noise.
Dib squinted, bringing the device closer to his face. Was it the Siren Head? They hadn’t been there for very long- it seemed almost too easy for that to be the case. The closer he looked, though, the less likely that seemed. It wasn’t a very loud nor intense noise. Maybe it was an animal of some sort? Or perhaps-
Something wrapped tightly around Dib’s upper arm, cinching around the flesh in an iron grip.
With a startled jump, what Dib assumed would have been an ear-piercing shriek had Dib had the ability to hear anything tore its way from his throat, reverberating in the air. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the green line flare up, spiking with the sound of his screams.
His panic was short-lived.
When he looked up to face whatever it was, he was met with a completely unintimidating sight: his Irken companion, eyes blown wide and lekku pinned back- probably startled by Dib’s response to his touch.
Dib’s muscles relaxed. He took several deep breaths, calming himself down, reminding himself that he was not in danger, despite what his immediate instincts told him. He took a step back as he regained control of his senses.
“You startled me, you dick,” Dib muttered, knowing that Zim wouldn’t hear him.
“Idiot,” Zim hissed back.
While Dib couldn’t hear whatever it was that Zim had said, his facial expression- and his general douchey-ness that DIb had come to know so well over the years- made it obvious that it was some sort of insult.
Dib flipped his friend off.
Zim let out a heavy sigh, “You can’t just wander off. I thought you were going to get lost.”
With a roll of his eyes, Dib gestured towards his headphones.
“Ugh. Stupid fucking…” Zim gave up trying to talk to him, deciding to mime his words instead. He pointed to Dib, made a walking motion with his fingers, and then crossed his arms into an ‘X’.
Dib still looked completely lost.
With a dramatic groan, Zim just grabbed his friend’s hand, lacing their fingers together- something that was somewhat awkward considering the fact that Zim had two fewer fingers than Dib did, though not as uncomfortable as either of them had anticipated.
Zim pointed at their clasped hands definitively and nodded trying to signify that they would stay like that- for safety reasons, of course.
While Dib wasn’t completely sure why Zim decided to hold his hand, he could make a good enough guess based off of the gesture. So, he just nodded and gave Zim’s hand a gentle squeeze, signifying that he understood.
Zim returned the nod before turning to look in front of them, gazing deeper into the abyss of the woods.
It didn’t take much miming for Dib to understand that his friend wanted to continue towards their actual mission.
Together, they made their way through the forest, disappearing deeper and deeper into the darkened land all around them. As the light of the world dimmed the further they went, Dib grabbed his flashlight, flicking it on so that he could illuminate their way.
The large flashlight that Dib held in his free hand was perhaps one of the best purchases he had ever made. The beam of light that it cast was like a small, portable sun in his hands and it had several different settings for whatever intensity of light they needed. It didn’t stop there, though. The device was crafted from a heavy, sturdy metal that he could easily use as a bludgeoning weapon if it became necessary- not that it would stand much of a chance against the Siren Head, but it was still better to have it just in case.
As Dib manned the flashlight, Zim grabbed the noise device from where it was attached to Dib’s belt, hanging on his hip, and held it up between them with the hand that wasn’t holding Dib’s so that they could both see it.
The readings on the device were normal- well, normal for their location in the middle of a forest late at night- and gave no signs of anything amiss. It was clear that the sounds around them were typical and far from the piercing shrieks and thunderous footfalls of the Siren Head. That , at the very least, was good. It meant that it hadn’t found them yet… hopefully.
While their hopes weren’t exactly high (Dib and Zim were many things, but “optimist” was not included on either of those lists), it was certainly possible for them to discover the creature before it discovered them. It may have had the advantage of its height and power to manipulate sound, but those things came with their disadvantages as well.
For starters, it would be far easier for Dib and Zim to spot Siren Head than it would the other way around. While it could somewhat blend in with trees, a sentient creature of such monstrous size wasn’t easily camouflaged. They , on the other hand, were far smaller than it and weren’t as easy to spot in the middle of the forest. Plus, with their headgear, the Siren Head didn’t exactly have a leg up on them with its deafening screeches.
If they could spot the creature before it became aware of them, they would have everything that they needed to take it down. It wouldn’t be easy by any means, but it certainly would make things less difficult.
Things never worked out that way, though.
Before they even saw the readings on their device, they felt the presence of the Siren Head. Rather, the creature was so gargantuan in size that, even the lightest of its footfalls could be felt and with every step it took, the ground beneath their very feet shook and trembled, nearly powerful enough to knock them off their centre of balance. Dib could feel the vibrations of its movement in his very bones.
Forgetting the sound device completely, the two of them turned their faces up to gaze skywards, whirling around to look behind them.
As they expected, lumbering towards them was what appeared to be a tree. Under the scrutinizing light of Dib’s flashlight, though- and with their knowledge of the creature- they knew better.
Making its way towards them was a heavily emaciated creature, its flesh stretched so tightly over its gnarled bones that it hardly looked as though it had any skin, to begin with. In fact, the creature almost looked as though it were nothing more than a tangle of wood and tree branches growing together haphazardly. Were it not for the distinct humanoid bone structure of the creature, it could almost pass for a regular tree.
Oh, and then there were the heads- the thing that earned it its namesake.
Dib and Zim couldn’t help but stop and stare in absolute wonder as the beam of light travelled up the creatures torso and shone upon its “face”. Perched atop its thin, craggy neck were two sirens pointing in opposing directions, several rows of jagged, humanoid teeth in the gaping maw of each siren.
The sounds that the creature emitted as it unhinged its terrible jaw drowned out any and all sound around them, completely dominating the device that hung limply in Zim’s clawed hand and not allowing anything else to register on it, even as Dib attempted to speak to him from directly next to him.
They truly were lucky for their headsets. If they couldn’t even see any noise other than the creature’s footsteps and screams, they would be dead by now without their headphones (or, at least, Dib would be dead- a thought that made the Irken sick to his stomach- and Zim in immeasurable pain).
“NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO GO!” Dib shouted, straining his voice to be heard or seen in any way. His attempts were futile, though. Instead, he tugged on Zim’s hand, drawing his attention to himself as he wildly gestured towards the creature drawing nearer by the second.
Zim didn’t need to hear Dib’s words to know what he was trying to communicate. Narrowing his eyes, he nodded definitively towards his human companion and began making his first move.
For the first time all night, Dib and Zim split up. They didn’t stray too far from one another, no, they just ran in opposite directions so that they would be on either side of the Siren Head. Even for a creature with limbs like that , it would be difficult for it to grab both of them at once when they were in this position. Doing this would give them enough time to rescue the other or escape if either of them was captured.
As the bone-like arms of the creature swung with its movement, Dib gulped, hoping that it wouldn’t come to that.
Shaking the worry from his head, Dib detached one of the grappling hooks from where it hung at his side and lifted it, aiming towards the creature. With one eye closed to stabilize his aim, Dib pulled the trigger, launching the hook through the air and towards one of the creature’s arms. As it soared through the air, Dib sank his teeth into his lower lip, hoping that the claw of the device would catch on the creature so he could restrain it.
Siren Head wasn’t easily fooled, though. The glint of the metal claw in the moonlight was enough to alert it to the approaching grappling hook.
Instead of allowing it to hit its mark, Siren Head caught the end of the small device in its hand and tugged it towards itself.
Dib shrieked as he was pulled off of his feet and sent sprawling to the ground with the force of the Siren Head’s movements, releasing the device despite himself as he fell. The revolting taste of dirt filled Dib’s mouth as he crashed down and he grimaced at the feeling. Once he spat the gritty substance from his mouth, he gasped for the air that was knocked cruelly from his lungs as he fell.
Confused, and not noticing that its human victim had fallen instead of being dragged along by the line, Siren Head held up the device, searching for the human where it assumed it should be connected.
If Zim had a heart- anatomically speaking, of course- it would have stopped for a moment at the mere sight of Dib’s actions. Concern coursed through his body as he saw Dib wipe out completely followed by mild relief as he saw the human stir, confirming that he was, at the very least, alright enough to move.
Looking back up to the creature, Zim saw what he needed to do. He had to attack while Siren Head was distracted with the foreign device in its grasp and he had to do it before it realized where Dib truly was.
Zim took on a more solid stance and launched his grappling hook at the arm closest to him. Unlike Dib’s first attempt, Zim was successful- Siren Head remaining still for the moment making it easier. The claws of the device hooked onto the sinewy appendage of the monster and embedded itself into whatever strange material it was that the creature consisted of.
Regaining his composure, Dib followed suit, using his second grappling hook to get the other creature’s arm under his control.
In near synchronicity, the two companions moved quickly, rushing to two different trees on either side of the creatures and attaching their end of the grappling hook to the tree, doing their best to wrap it around the trunk and knot the thick metal rope that had been used in their making.
Once close enough, Zim caught Dib by his shoulder and gestured for Dib to take up his camera.
Stepping back, Dib did as Zim suggested, grabbing his camera and beginning to snap photos of the monstrous being that stood like a sentient tree in the forest, confusedly thrashing and inspecting its restraints, though both Dib and Zim had the feeling that even the reinforced materials they had used for the devices were weak against Siren Head.
As Dib did his best to capture photographic evidence of the encounter, Zim snatched his second grappling hook into his clutches and shot it once more. This time, he aimed for the Siren Head’s pelvic bone, hoping to confuse the creature with the attack from a new angle.
Thankfully, Zim’s aim was true and the claws hooking into Siren Head’s obturator foramen.
Zim couldn’t help the small smile of pride that spread across his face as he saw the momentary confusion of the creature in response to the attempted restraints. He and DIb were doing shockingly well up against the beast and he couldn’t help but feel a little bit full of himself (though that was nearly his constant state).
That excitement was short-lived as Siren Head’s confusion turned into rage. Clearly, the cryptid had had enough of the two’s shenanigans and was sick of their struggles against it and its powers.
With little effort, it snapped the metallic ropes that bound it, trashing its arms out to break free and doing so with ease. Scaps of metal torn from the rope rained down above them. The angry movements even uprooted one of the trees that it had been tethered to, sending the innocent arboreal riend several feet away from its original home to meet its final resting place.
“Er, Dib?” Zim called, taking a few steps back as he witnessed the movements of the creature, “I think we should go.”
Nearly entranced with the sight before him and the task at hand, the nature of their situation didn’t fully sink in for Dib and, clearly, he couldn’t even hear his friend’s words as he tried to warn him.
Thankfully for both of them, despite what Zim claimed throughout their childhood, Dib was not stupid and, once he saw that Siren Head was beginning to make its way towards them, he stuffed the camera into one of his free pockets and ran .
The two of them ran side-by-side. As they exited the forest, though, they didn’t hold hands as they did previously. They didn’t need the physical grounding force to remind them where the other was and they certainly didn’t need the handicap of being slowed down by doing so. Up against this thing, even their amazing physique earned over their years of fighting and training seemed pathetic and weak. They needed everything that they had to escape the cryptid’s clutches.
The enormous cryptid had ridiculously long legs, though, and, even when not running at full speed, it was getting far to close to them for comfort at a far too quick pace. Siren Head was practically taking mile-long steps for each foot they moved. It was too fast for them and it only got faster and closer with every second. There was no way they could outrun that thing.
Dibs chest heaved with the effort of staying calm while keeping his speed up. Zim’s fists pumped through the air and his boots pounded against the dirt beneath them as they tried to outrun the thing. Branches from nearby trees whipped at the faces, leaving scratches that would certainly still be there tomorrow but that neither of them paid any mind to- too focused on the task at hand to take notice of the sensation. Faintly, Dib could hear the sound of blood rushing in his ears. Having gone so long without hearing anything , the sound only made him more anxious.
Zim dared to cast a glance behind them and practically felt his throat close up at the very sight of the cryptid. Siren Head was practically on top of them now, just a little too far away for the creature to reach out and grab them. Now that it was so close to them, its enormous height was even more prominent and made it all the more awe-inspiring and terrifying.
Making a split-second decision, Zim ejected his pak legs and looped his arms around Dib’s waist, pulling his companion close to him as the six legs raised him off the ground by several feet, bringing him with him as it did so. The moment that Zim had Dib in his grasp, the pak legs began moving. The extra height of the six appendages and the speed that they provided from a combination of them being numerous and mechanical gave them an advantage that they didn’t have on foot.
Siren Head may have been the tallest living creature that either of them had seen (Dib in his entire lifetime and Zim for the first time in ages), but the pak legs were far more dexterous than the cryptid could ever imagine. While the monster smashed through trees and logs as it sped towards them, they took advantage of the pak legs’ abilities. They scuttled around in an almost spider-like manner, alternating between scrambling up trees, leaping from branches, and darting around quickly on the ground. They moved in erratic patterns that they hoped were too indistinguishable and complicated for Siren Head to follow.
Finally, the lines of trees surrounding them thinned and they could see that the edge of the forest was near. They could practically taste the freedom of their escape.
Dib snatched the lanyard with his car keys out of his pocket and frantically smashed the buttons to unlock the doors and remotely start it up, his other arm still clinging tightly to Zim to avoid being dropped to his demise. If they wanted to get out alive, they didn’t have any time to waste. They needed to be able to jump into the car the second they got out and book it .
After what felt like an eternity, they burst through the line of trees. The two of them almost screamed with relief as they saw the headlights of Dib’s car in the distance.
They weren’t fools, though, and didn’t take time to celebrate the victory of getting out of there. They still weren’t in the clear, not just yet. Siren Head may have “lived” in that forest, but nothing was stopping it from leaving when it wanted or needed to do so and it was certainly mad enough to follow them into the parking lot. Instead, they hurtled towards the vehicle as fast as they could.
Zim practically body slammed the two of them into the car door, his momentum too intense to stop them so suddenly as they grappled to get the door open.
Instead of going around to the other side to get into the driver’s side, Dib simply half let Zim throw him and half scrambled over the centre console to get to the driver’s seat.
Completely forgoing their seat belts, Dib threw the car into drive and slammed his foot down on the gas, jolting the two of them as he did so. Zim didn’t even have time to close the door behind him before they were peeling out of the parking lot and zooming into the road at ungodly speeds that few people were ballsy enough to drive at under regular circumstances.
It wasn’t until they were speeding down the road and had gotten far away from the forest they had been at that Zim finally took off his headphones before snatching Dib’s off as well and tossing both pairs into the back seat. “Put on your seatbelt before you get yourself killed,” Zim instructed, securing his own, “We’re far enough away.” He didn’t add in the fact that he only thought that they were far enough away from the creature for them to do so safely.
Regardless, Dib slowed down a little and clicked his own seatbelt in place. He let out a shaky sigh and gripped the steering wheel once more, doing so so tightly that his knuckles turned white with the force.
They sat in relative silence for several moments, just putting space between them and the place they had just escaped from.
“I believe you are still going above the speed limit, Dib-Friend,” Zim said gently. He could tell that his human was a little shaken up by the situation despite the fact that he encountered near-death experiences incredibly frequently. He could tell the adrenaline from the situation was wearing off and the exhaustion was sinking back into his bones.
With a shake of his head to collect his thoughts, Dib slowed down to a more reasonable pace. After a moment, he slowly grinned, “I cannot believe we just did that!”
Zim couldn’t help but smile as well, relieved that Dib didn’t seem too shaken up, “Yeah, you were an absolute idiot out there. It’s a miracle that we got out of there.”
“Hey!” Dib defended, though he knew that there was no malice in his friend’s words, “I did just as well as you did- and I got the pictures.”
Zim snorted, “I can’t argue with that.”
“Speaking of, do you think we got any good ones?”
“It looked like you took nearly a hundred,” Zim reasoned, “I’m sure at least once of them was decent.”
Dib nodded, “Mind looking for me?” Normally, he would just wait until they got back to Zim’s home to check, but they still had a bit of driving to do and he was anxious to see how they had turned out.
“Sure.” Zim leaned across the centre console to reach into the pocket of DIb’s trenchcoat and retrieve the device in question.
As Dib drove, Zim powered up the camera and began scrolling through the pictures taken that night. Several of them were incredibly blurry, but there were also a few really good ones that could certainly prove the creature’s existence. There were also, of course, many pictures that were somewhere between perfection and garbage fire status, as well. Overall, though, they definitely had several successful shots of the creature.
He kept scrolling through them.
Then, he saw something else. It didn’t really surprise Zim- he already knew that the pictures existed and he could clearly recall when they had taken it together.
The photo was a “selfie” of him and Dib sitting side-by-side, a smile on each of their faces. In the pictures, Dib had a practically shit-eating grin as though he had just made a terrible joke and Zim looked somewhat caught off-guard, laughing at whatever his friend had said but cringing at the horrible joke.
Zim felt a smile slowly make its way across his face as he saw the took in the contents of the pictures.
Dib glanced over at his companion, “You’re smiling- is that a yes? Are they good?”
“Yes, Dib-Thing,” Zim confirmed, power the camera off once more, “Yes they are.”
Zim wouldn’t reveal the real reason he was smiling- he didn’t know if he would ever be comfortable enough to be vulnerable like that around even his best friend. They had been victorious that night, though, so it wasn’t completely a lie to say that that was the reason for his glee.
Besides, the little cheer from Dib about their successful night was too good for him to break by admitting his own happiness was from the memory.
Before them, the road stretched out almost endlessly with few other cars alongside them. They were no longer in danger. For now, it was just the two of them basking in their victory as their cryptid hunting mixed tape played quietly over the speakers in Dib’s car.
Yes. That night had gone well.
Link to where I originally posted the story here.
Wonderful art by the lovely @sai-doodles​!
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snappedsky · 4 years ago
Text
Fanatics 78
Pepito’s band prepares to play for a festival.
*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*
--
The Spring Festival
           The blaring of an alarm knocks Pepito out of his sleep. He rolls over, groaning as he slaps his phone, shutting it off.
           As he sits up, he checks the screen. No notifications.
           He sighs heavily as he checks the date. “One week since Squee left.”
           Later at Skool, Pepito glowers depressingly at the lunch table, poking at the mystery meat from the cafeteria. Zim, Tak, Dib, and Gaz glare at him wearily.
           “Irk, you’re pathetic,” Tak snaps, “get over it already, will you? You think Squee would like it if he knew you were like this?”            “Well, Squee’s not here to know anything,” Pepito retorts, pouting.
           “You make me sick,” she hisses.
           “As much as I hate to agree with Tak,” Zim says, “she has a point. You need to pick yourself up already. You’re an embarrassment.”
           In response, Pepito sticks his tongue out at him. Zim irks and prepares to attack him but Dib holds him back.
           Gaz side-eyes Pepito as she plays her Game Slave. “Has he called you at all?”
           “Nope,” he replies.
           “Have you called him?”
           “Of course not.”
           “Do you think he’s lying around all depressed like you?”
           “Huh?” Pepito questions, glaring at her.
           “Probably,” she replies, “but he has every reason to. What’s your reason? You miss your boyfriend?”
           He flinches, offended. “Well…I can’t help it if I miss him.”
           “Maybe not. But you also have no reason to drag the rest of us down with you.”
           “What are you-?”
           “You know the Spring Festival starts next week,” Gaz says, cutting him off.
           “The…Spring Festival?” Pepito questions.
           “Seriously? You haven’t heard?” Dib asks, “Mayor Von wants to hold a bunch of events in the city and he’s starting with the Spring Festival. It starts next Friday and goes all weekend. There’s gonna be a bunch of vendors, rides, events.”
           “Like a live music event for volunteering musicians,” Gaz adds.
           Pepito blinks blankly. “Live…music…?”
           “Moron!” she barks, making him flinch backwards. “Maddie sent me this because she was too scared to show it to your mopey face!”
           She shows him her phone. On screen is a poster featuring a large, brightly lit stage surrounded by the words: “Calling all musicians! Want a chance to showcase your talent in front of a live audience? Then sign up for the music event at the Spring Festival!”
           Pepito just blinks as he stares at it.
           “Get it now, idiot?” Gaz snaps, “because of your petty feelings, you could’ve missed this. So what are you gonna do now?”
           Pepito stares ahead blankly for a second before scowling with determination and drawing his phone.
           Pepito: can we do a band meeting at your place tonight
           Carmen: No problem~!
           Pepito quickly sends a text to their other bandmates before lowering his phone. Then he takes a deep breath and grins.
           The others all smile with relief.
           “About time,” Tak comments.
           That night, Pepito, Carmen, Maddie, and Colton get together to discuss the festival. Thankfully, it’s Friday and next week is Spring Break, so they got lots of time.          
           They spend the rest of the week determining their set and practicing. It’s the hardest they’ve ever practiced. This is tremendously different from their last gig, which they played in front of a bunch of drunk partiers who would’ve loved anything. This time, the pressure is real. But they’re all excited.
           Next Friday quickly rolls around; the first day of the Spring Festival. So they decide to take the day off and join Zim, Tak, Dib, and Gaz at the fairgrounds.
           The majority of the festival is taking place in a large park. The first day is all about the vendors. Booths have been set up all over the field with vendors selling all kinds of things: food, clothing, toys, and more, all homemade. And the place is packed with fairgoers.
           “Wow, this is a total hit,” Carmen comments.
           “Yeah, Von’s really pulling out all the stops,” Dib adds, “I’m impressed.”
           “He’s taking his job as mayor seriously,” Pepito remarks.
           “Tch. I would’ve done better,” Zim says bitterly.
           They spend most of the day wandering around, perusing the booths. Into the early afternoon, as they pass a seemingly random vendor, a familiar voice calls out to them.
           “Hey, kids.” They turn towards the booth to see Devi sitting behind it. Spread out on the table are tons of prints, all painted by her.
           “Devi,” Pepito smiles as they approach. “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you. You changed your hair.”            She grins as she runs her hand through her new haircut. It’s all black with the right side hanging down to her shoulder and the left side shaved down to a buzz cut. “Yeah, I finally did it yesterday. Cool, right?”
           “It totally is,” Colton agrees excitedly.
           “Yeah, very punk,” Carmen adds, “I should get a cut like that.”
         “You got your own booth? That’s cool,” Gaz comments, “you got it for the whole weekend?”
           “No,” Devi sighs, “just for today. I couldn’t afford the rent.”            “Well, one day is still good,” Dib says as he flips through her prints. They’re all dark and often of monstrous creatures. “You sell much?”
           “I’ve only had a couple customers,” she replies, “I think I scare most people away. But the ones who do like my stuff buy multiple.”
           “Your art is really good,” Maddie says in awe.
           “Hm,” Pepito hums with consideration. “You know, I’ve been thinking for a while we need some kind of design on the bass drum. Could you paint us something?”
           “I’d love to help,” Devi replies, “but I’m indie now. You’ll have to buy a commission.”
           “How much?”
           She leans back in her chair, rolling her neck. “You know what, I’ll give you a discount. 75 bucks.”
           Pepito glances between his bandmates, who all nod agreeably. “Deal,” he says, “ah, but can you do it before Sunday?”
           “Why?” Devi questions.
           “We’re doing the music event,” he smiles, “and it’d be awesome to show it off for the first time then.”
           She nods agreeably. “Alright. But I’ll need to the pay first.”
           Pepito, Carmen, Maddie, and Colton quickly dig around in their pockets. They divvy up their cash until they have seventy-five dollars and drop it on her booth.
           “Fuck, you guys work fast,” Devi comments, “alright. I’ll get a couple designs ready and tomorrow you can choose one to paint on.”
           “Sweet,” Pepito cheers and the others grin excitedly.
           They leave Devi to check out the rest of the vendors. While she waits for customers, she opens her sketchbook and gets to work on some designs.
           The next day, most of the same vendors are still set up, but the nearby street has been closed off for fair rides. A small rollercoaster, a ferris wheel, a drop tower, and a few different spinning rides have been set up; also fair games and food vendors.
           The kids are excited for this one, ready to gorge themselves on rides and junk food. But first, the band has business to attend to in the seating area.
           Devi is there waiting for them. She passes them her sketchbook as they sit across from her at the picnic table.
          “Pick one,” she says, “I can have it painted today and it should be dry by tomorrow morning. Plenty of time for you to set up for the show.”
           “We all have to agree,” Carmen points out. Pepito, Maddie, and Colton nod and they open the book.
           Devi sketched out four designs, all of them darkly themed and featuring the band name ‘Hellz Rebels’. It takes a few minutes of deliberation before they finally decide.
           “This one,” Pepito declares, handing her back the book.
           “Okay,” Devi nods, “I’ll just need access to the drums and I can get to work.”
           “They’re at my apartment,” Carmen says as she grabs her house key. “Take my key. My dad’s at work right now but I’ll let him know you’re there.”            “Cool. I’ll let you know when I’m done,” Devi waves before leaving.
           “I’m feeling pretty excited,” Maddie comments.
           “Me too,” Colton nods, “but can we go on the rides now?”
           The rest of the day is spent riding the rides, eating junk food, and playing games. By the end of the day, they’re all pretty wiped. But they’re not so tired to not go to Carmen’s and check out Devi’s finished work.
           “What do you think?” she asks as she cleans up her painting gear. “I finished a little bit ago. Make sure not to touch it so the paint dries.”
           Pepito, Carmen, Maddie, and Colton all smile excitedly as they look at the new design on their bass drum: a large claw painted as if it’s smashing through the drum, with its fingers folded around the words ‘Hellz Rebels’.
           “We are so ready for tomorrow,” Pepito smirks.
           The next morning, the band gets up around eight and, after breakfast, meet at Carmen’s place. They load the drum kit into her dad’s truck and he drives them to the fairgrounds.
           The events don’t begin for another two hours, but the field is already busy with all the musicians. Pepito and the others make their way through the crowd with their instruments to the event coordinator.
           “Name?” she asks.
           “Uh Hellz Rebels,” Pepito replies.
           “Right,” she says as she looks over a clipboard. “You guys will be on at 2:00. You can leave your instruments behind the stage but keep an eye on them. We’re not responsible for any stolen property.”
           “Alright, thanks,” he nods and they head across the field to where the stage is set up. Lots of other bands are hanging around the back with their instruments.
           “So we got a long time to wait,” Carmen comments.
           “Yeah, just chill I guess,” Colton shrugs as he sits in the grass.
           They all join him as Pepito fiddles with some kind of speaker device.
           “What’s that, Pepito?” Maddie asks.
           “A recording device,” he replies, “I’m gonna attach it to the mic when we go on so we can record our set and send it to Squee.”            “Oh, that’s a good idea,” Carmen remarks.
           “Yeah, it’s too bad he can’t be here,” Colton points out, “he would’ve loved to watch us.”
           “Yeah, it would’ve been nice knowing he’s in the crowd,” Pepito says and gestures with the recorder. “But this is the next best thing. And I think he’ll appreciate it.”
           The others start to agree when they’re interrupted by a sudden ruckus; somebody shouting in frustration. Everyone peeks around the stage to get a look and sees a person, a teen boy in Goth attire, getting angry at the event coordinator.
           “I demand to be let on!” he barks, “everyone must here my voice!”
           “I already told you,” the coordinator argues impatiently, “you didn’t sign up and we’re completely booked. We have no time for you.”
           “Blasphemy!” he snaps, “censorship! I will not be held down!”
           Without another word, he stomps away, leaving everyone to stare after him, baffled.
           “What a tool,” Pepito comments and the others laugh in agreement.
           Zim, Tak, Dib, and Gaz arrive later, around eleven. Much of the same vendors are still there, but new ones are too selling music related items, like CDs for the indie bands playing today. They wander around for a bit before heading to the stage, where the musicians have already started playing. Currently up is a saxophonist playing some soulful jazz.
           “Looks like there’s gonna be a lot of variety,” Dib remarks.
           “I only care about Maddie,” Gaz grunts as she takes out her Game Slave.
           “Human music is so unappealing,” Zim comments.
           “You like Pepito’s music,” Dib points out.
           “That’s different,” he insists.
           “Why do you call it ‘human music’?” Tak scoffs, “Irkens don’t even have music.”
           “Other species do,” Zim points out, “I happen to enjoy Screwnat music.”
           “Wow, you really do have no taste.”            While the Irkens argue and Gaz plays her game, Dib happily bobs his head to the music. He may be here to support Pepito and the others, but good music is still good music so he might as well enjoy himself.
           He’s interrupted however, when someone shoves their way through the crowd and bumps his shoulder.
           “Hey,” he whines but the person ignores them and keeps heading towards the stage, muttering angrily. Dib stares after them and notices they dropped something: a flat, black rock about the size of a hand. Dib picks it up, flips it over, and gasps. On the other side is a magical rune painted in red.
           “Zim,” he says.
         “-the simplicity is the best part. It allows the listener to not need much thought to listen to it,” Zim argues, ignoring him.
           “You don’t need much thought in general,” Tak retorts.
           “Zim!” Dib exclaims.
           “What!” Zim barks, “I’m in a very heated discussion.”
           “Look,” he orders, handing him the stone.
           “What it is?” he asks.
           “It’s a witch’s rune,” Dib replies, “somebody just dropped one as they were walking towards the stage.”
           “What’s it do?”
           “I…don’t know. But it can’t be good.”            “Hmm,” Zim muses as he stares at the stone.
           “Maddie texted to me that somebody was really angry that they couldn’t play today,” Gaz says.
           “Could the event be in danger?” Dib asks.
           “Ugh,” Zim groans, “we better investigate before Pepito goes on.”            The others nod and they push their way through the crowd to the stage. There’s plastic barricades keeping the audience a couple feet away from the stage, and dropped in the space are three more of the runes but these ones are glowing, and no sign of the person.
           Dib quickly scoops up all the stones and the team examines them.
           “It’d be better if we knew what they did,” Tak points out.
           “Give me a minute,” Dib demands and opens Zim’s PAK. He reaches inside and pulls out a big textbook titled ‘Supernatural Items and Facts’. Many pages are marked with tabs. He flips through it and stops on a page with many similar runes and explanations.
           “Here,” he says, pointing at the same rune as on the stones. “The Explosive Rune.”
           “Well, that’s self-explanatory,” Gaz remarks.
           “They can be detonated from a short distance away when activated,” Dib reads, “that must be why they’re glowing.”
           “We need to destroy these,” Zim points out.
           The team quickly scurries out of the crowd to an empty part of the field. Then Dib drops all four stones on the grass and Zim blasts them to bits with his spider legs.
           “Somebody’s trying to destroy the stage and ruin the music show,” Dib declares.
           “It must be that weirdo Maddie was talking about,” Gaz adds, “he must be trying to get revenge for not being allowed to play.”
           “We have to find him before he tries another stunt,” Zim says.
           “But how?” Dib asks.
           “If he wants revenge, then he must be nearby to watch the explosion when it goes off,” Tak muses, “which means he would’ve seen us take the stones. So…”
           “Hey!”
           They turn at the shout and see the Goth boy causing a ruckus earlier marching up to them.
           “Bingo,” Tak nods.
           “What do you think you’re doing?” the boy snaps.
           “Us?” Dib retorts, “why are you trying to blow up the stage? You could hurt people, maybe even kill them!”
           “If I can’t be allowed to sing, then nobody can!” he barks.
           “You’re the one who didn’t sign up on time,” Gaz points out, “this is your own fault.”            “I will not be tied to bureaucratic rules,” he argues, “and nobody will stop me from getting my revenge!”
           “Listen, you worm,” Zim snarls, “this whole event has made Pepito finally stop whining about Squee being away. And I will not let you ruin this for me!”
           “Zim,” Dib scolds.
           “And Pepito too, I guess,” he adds indifferently.
           “You think you can stop me?” the boy scoffs, “I am a witch! A powerful, magical being! You normal humans have nothing on me!”
           “Jokes on you,” Zim retorts, “half of us aren’t even normal humans!”
           “Whatever you are,” the witch snaps as he reaches into his coat and pulls out a wand. “I’ll reduce you all to dust!”
           “Watch out!” Dib cries and the Battalion dive out of the way as the witch fires a bright green bolt from his wand. It leaves a small crater where they were standing.
           Zim and Tak both snarl as they skid across the dirt. Zim draws his laser guns and Tak’s robot arm shifts into a cannon and they both take aim before firing.
           The witch swings his wand, deflecting their beams, and fires another one at them. They jump out of the way and continue firing.
           Meanwhile, Dib and Gaz watch from a few feet away.
           “Dammit,” Dib snaps, “we don’t have our weapons.”
           “I keep an extra bat in Zim’s PAK,” Gaz says, “but I don’t think I’ll have a chance to get it.”
         “We have to take him down before Pepito goes on,” he points out, “we can’t miss his show.”
           “Well, Zim and Tak should be able to handle this,” she retorts.
           The witch sends the Irkens scattering with another blast before waving the wand around himself and chanting, “icken bicken licken might, give me the power of flight!”
           Sparkles waft around him as he levitates off the ground, going higher until he’s nearly over the trees. Then he flies around like a bug and continues blasting at Zim and Tak below. They both cry out in frustration as they struggle to dodge.
           “Dammit, they’re hopeless,” Gaz groans and shouts at them, “it’s two on one! Take him down already!”
           “Silence!” they bark back and dodge another beam.
           “He’s not giving them a chance to attack,” Dib observes, “there’s gotta be something we can do to help. Maybe cause a distraction to get his attention so they can hit him. We have limited options though. If we could find another weapon then-.”
           Before he can finish, Gaz yanks his textbook out of his hand and whips it at the witch. It clonks him in the side of the head, making him cry out in pain and surprise as he falls to the ground.
           “That works,” Dib shrugs.
           Groaning in pain, the witch lifts himself out of the dirt. He looks around frantically for his wand before spotting just a foot away. But before he can grab it, Zim steps on it, breaking it in two. The witch glares at him and Tak as they stand over him.
           “Now, who’s getting reduced to dust?” Zim growls as they ready their weapons. But a voice stops them before they can fire.
           “Robbie?” A girl in a Goth Lolita dress emerges from the trees. “Robbie, there you are!”
           “Bianca?” Dib questions.
           “Who?” Zim grunts.
           “She’s a witch in our class, remember? She tried to force Squee and me to tutor her for finals a couple years ago.”
           “Eh.”
           Bianca barely pays them any mind as she passes by and grabs the other witch- Robbie- by his ear, yanking him to his feet.
           “What do you think you’re doing?” she snaps, “causing so much trouble?”
           “It’s not my fault,” he whines, “they wouldn’t let me sing.”
           “I told you to sign up yesterday,” she retorts, “you didn’t listen. Let’s go, Auntie’s looking for you.”
           “Wait! They broke my wand!”
           “Good, you deserve it.”
           “Wa-wa-wa-wait!” Zim barks as Bianca starts to walk away. “What’s going on here?”
           “This is my stupid cousin, Robbie,” Bianca replies, “I’m sorry for any trouble he caused. My auntie will deal with him.”
           “So we’re just supposed to let him go?” Dib questions, “he was gonna blow up the stage with explosive runes.”
           “You tried to use explosive runes?” she barks, smacking Robbie upside his head. “This is why you can never visit!”
           Dib sighs and rubs his forehead. “Alright, forget it. He’s clearly in good hands. We’ll leave him to you.”
           “Thank you,” Bianca nods, “trust me, he’ll be properly punished.”
           “I will not stand for this censorship!” Robbie cries as she drags him away.
           “Shut up, you little moron,” she snaps, “your music sucks anyway.”
           Zim, Tak, Dib, and Gaz watch them walk away before sighing.
           “Well, that takes care of that, I guess,” Dib says.
           “Good,” Gaz nods, “cause it’s almost two.”
           “We better get back to the stage,” Zim orders.
           They hurry through the park and arrive back to the stage. They join Devi and Tenna, who are standing near the back of the crowd, just before the current band finishes up. Then Hellz Rebels take the stage.
           Pepito looks into the crowd as he sets down his amp and sees his friends waving excitedly. He grins and looks to his band.
           “Ready?” he asks.
           They all smile and nod.
           “Then on your cue, Maddie,” he says, lifting his guitar.
           She takes a deep breath and grips her mic.
           “Are you guys ready to rock!?”
           Later that night, in Cammie’s house, Squee and Johnny are lounging on the couch as the recording of the Hellz Rebels’ performance plays through Squee’s cellphone.
           “You know, I hate to say it,” Nny says, “but they’re actually not bad.”
           Squee smiles. “Yeah. They sound awesome. I wish I could’ve seen them live.”
           “But you didn’t,” a voice points out nastily, wiping away Squee’s smile. His eyes narrow with annoyance at the stress toy sitting on the coffee table.
           “You miss your friends, huh?” Squishy Pete says, “do you think they miss you? Like actually miss you? Do you think they want you back? Or is this break a relief for them? Probably the latter, right? I mean that’s why you left in the first place. For a break.”
           Pete’s wide, fanged smile starts to widen as Squee rubs his tired eyes. But before the toy can say anything more, a hand suddenly swipes him from the table.
           “Found him!” Eff announces, waving him in the air.
           “He sure disappears quickly,” Sickness remarks as the other Night Terrors join him.
           “Yeah, we can’t turn our backs for a second,” D-boy adds.
           “He’s a tenacious little parasite,” Eff agrees as he tightly squeezes the toy.
           “Let me play with him,” Reverend Meat begs.
           “No, you always pop him too quickly,” Eff replies, “that’s no fun.”
           “Yeah, we gotta make him suffer a bit,” D-boy adds.
           “Guys!” Squee snaps, “can you take this somewhere else? I’m trying to listen to something.”
           “Sorry, Little Boss,” the Night Terrors sing.
           “Let’s play hacky sack with him outside,” Sickness suggests.
           “Yeah!” the others cheer and race out the door.
           Johnny watches them leave before looking at the Squee. He’s quietly rubbing his closed eyes.
           “You okay?” Nny asks.
           “Yeah,” Squee replies, opening his eyes. “Just tired.”
           Nny nods understandably. “So, Granny’s going to L.A tomorrow to do some shopping. You wanna go?”
           Squee looks at his phone as he listens to the Hellz Rebels sing. He’s not sure he wants to go anywhere right now. But it’s also been almost two weeks.
           “Sure,” he replies, “I guess I should try going out in public again. It has been a while.”
           Nny scoffs, “the public is overrated. But shopping can be fun.”
           Squee smiles at him. “Yeah.”
           Nny smiles back and they settle back down as they continue to listen to the music.
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savythenillerwaffer · 4 years ago
Text
~Break My Heart~
PD(Pilot Dib)x Cel(Pilot Zim)
A precarious predicament
Even though Cel had only lived at this place for a few weeks, it took little time to grow a deep disliking for PD. So it was only natural that he would find out and begin tormenting him with it.
Cel had quite often been the butt of many practical jokes planned by PD, but his latest plot had really gotten under the Irken's skin lately. The more he thought about it, the more his response to it bothered him.
***
Most of Cel's day-to-day activities included napping (even though his body doesn't require sleep), playing games with Gaz, and getting harassed by PD on a regular basis.
Now he was sitting on the couch, waiting for Gaz to wake up from her comatose state while fiddling with a hoodie that Dib had given him when he'd first arrived.
Suddenly, Cel felt a looming presence over his shoulder, heavy breathing audible to his drooping antenna. There was no question who it was.
"Sup Space-Boy~"
Cel groaned in annoyance.
"Only the ceiling, why must you torment me, human-fiend?"
PD just chuckled darkly.
"You're cute when you get angry~"
Cel blushed slightly, shadow-overcast form becoming rigid with anger.
"Well I'm about to get fucking adorable if you don't respect my thinking space."
His antenna sensed another presence with them. Gaz had just walked into the room, making her presence known to them.
Her hair was frayed and messy, presumably because she had not slept well. She was wearing a clearly oversized, black T-shirt that had the words, "Do not Disturb" on it, accompanied by a pair of standard white socks and pajama pants covered in tiny pigs.
Cel assumed this was standard sleeping attire for Gaz.
She looked at them and nodded, covering her mouth to let out a drowsy yawn before giving another glance to Cel in confusion.
Two electrical clamps had been attached to each one of his antenna, a wire stringing down to connect them to a device that PD held with a proud smirk.
"Sup Zi- I mean… Cel, what happened there?"
Cel's eyes narrowed for a moment, pastel eyes piercing through her. A bead of sweat ran down the back of Gaz's neck. She remembered how he could get really scary when anyone mentioned that.
"Apparently," Cel huffed, trying to ignore her slip of the tongue, "This human thinks it would be funny to attach my antenna to an electrical device in my comatose state and, quite literally, shock me with it. At least I'm assuming that is what it does."
PD's face only displayed pride at his sadistic craftsmanship.
"Don’t bother trying to remove them. I don’t suppose 15 amps of electricity going through your frail, human body would be a pleasant experience."
Gaz just shrugged and took a sip of tap water.
"Just sounds like another Friday night to me. I'll leave you two love birds to your weird little kinks."
Cel's blush intensified at her words, making PD's cockyness grow as he let out another dark chuckle into one of the alien's antenna.
"Brace yourself, I imagine this will be quite uncomfortable for you~"
PD was right, but it probably wasn't the kind of uncomfortable he was expecting.
As soon as he pressed the button on the foul device, Cel's legs locked up and crossed themselves involuntarily
They shared a confused glance before Cel's eyes widened, face becoming cherry red as he was reminded of what electricity does to him.
PD felt a hard slap across his face as the now hot-and-bothered alien turned to face him, eyes clouded with rage as well as something.
"YOU IGNORANT, BIPEDAL, SWINE!"
Cel let out a shriek that surely woke up the whole complex as he grabbed PD by his cardigan, pulling him over the back of the couch with incredible strength.
They fell onto the cushions together, PD landing on top of Cel in an awkward way as he stared into his rival's pastel eyes.
After regaining their composure, the duo's faces flushed in unison as they realized the predicament they were now in.
"Uh… Cel, what are you-"
Cel gave him no more time to speak as he silenced the awkward teen with his lips, keeping his steely eyes open to glare right through PD's bewildered face.
He had never seen the alien act like this before, it surprised the hell out of him. But truth be told, he was kinda enjoying the dominance.
After Cel was finished, he pulled away from the starry-eyed teen, still glaring into his soul with that determined look. He was barely out of breath from the prolonged kiss, meanwhile PD was panting like a dog.
Then he finally spoke.
"Do you see what you do to me?"
The words echoed in PD's mind as he stared mindlessly at the alien, still struggling to process what had just taken place.
For the first time in his life, he was at a loss for words.
"I...I…"
Cel scoffed at his rival's absent-mindedness, finally letting go of his cardigan as he slipped out from under him.
"It seems I have taught you a lesson today. What the lesson was for, is your's to deconstruct."
With that, Cel sauntered away with his hands behind his back, putting confidence into each overdrawn step.
PD was left in awe as his mind began to process what had just happened. Cel had kissed him… His crush had kissed him.
The pillow he held to his face did little to muffle the girlish shreks that ensued.
***
Something had seriously changed between them after that. It didn't take very long for everyone else to notice that PD had stopped pulling as many pranks, and Cel's cheeks would always flush more than usual around him.
Cel peeked over the couch at the unhinged human in the kitchen, smiling widely as he made toasted bread.
It didn't take him long to notice Cel's staring, giving him a Cheshire smile in response. Sure enough, Cel's face became flustered and he let out a squeak as he turned away, sitting back on the couch and facing away from the grinning menace.
"This is crazy, an Irken shouldn't be feeling like this over a human."
Cel stuffed his face into one of the couch pillows, groaning in frustration as he lay on the plush cushions.
Was he in love with his mortal enemy?
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yoaridk · 5 years ago
Text
~Disgusting Feeling~ (One-Shot)
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Invader Zim.
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences.
Warnings:  This fic is a ZaDe and has hints of DaTr and ZaGr (if the shipps are not to your liking please refrain from reading), character death and ambiguous plot.
Relationships: Zim/Gaz and  Dib/Tak
Characters: Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib (Invader Zim), Tak (Invader Zim).
Additional Tags: Drama & Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Family Drama, Tragic Romance, Interspecies, RomanceZAGR - Freeform, Zim and Gaz Romance, Top Zim (Invader Zim), Badass Zim (Invader Zim), Zim Rules the Earth, Zim is an Invader after all, Strange feelings, Dib suffering, Partner Betrayal, Duty is everything.
Summary: 
Feelings are not part of the programming of Irken soldiers and their race in general, not when the ultimate goal of their existence has always been conquest and ambition. Love? Compassion? Affect? These were weaknesses that made them vulnerable in their condition. Dib understands it to the worst way he can imagine, Zim is a monster in every sense of the word.
                                               ~*~
"It's the most horrible creature I've ever seen in my life."
 That´s the only thought in Dib's mind as he lies on his knees in front of the ostentatious throne of his worst enemy. The black surface of polished marble reflects the horror of his gaze when he observes the vile creature, a creature who instead returns the gesture with lazy grace, transmitting power, strength and something that Dib catalogs as a mantle of death around him.
 Dib's fists clench, hating the fact of staying in an unfavorable position for not saying disadvantageous and resisting frustration at the vain attempt to stand up. The marks on his wrists remind him of how exhausted he is and how weak his body feels because of the blood he lost during his fight to reach his freedom.
 One that unfortunately never came.
 “So?” The creature's tone is barely a mocking hiss."Human, did you really believe that Tak had those inferior feelings for you?”
 The derogatory tone does´t go unnoticed by Dib, much less the slight tinge of twisted fun that mixes in it. Cruelty is not unknown for him after all, growing up at the expense of it became something inherent in his life.
 A misunderstood child whom everyone always labeled as mentally ill. No less than the shame of a successful father and recognized by those same people...
 A father that Zim murdered mercilessly when chaos spread throughout the world.
 “Where is she? Where do you have her, Zim?” Dib calls in his despair. “I swear if you did something her... if you hurt her, I...”
 "You are even more foolish than I thought." Interrupts the Irken, rising slowly to rise even more above the human from the ostentatious throne he occupies. “Hurt her?” The vibrations of Zim's boots at approaching echo through the room. “Oh, dirty beast, don't you know?”
 The weight of this affair records a bad omen in Dib.
 “Know what?” He doesn't quite understand the weight of words and feels fear settling in his being.
 Zim looks at him in a way that suggests he doesn't consider him very clever and Dib's face pales at the alien's tacit expression.
 "You're really pathetic." The Irken shows his peculiar zipper teeth in a smile wickedly sinister half. “Do you know how you got here Dib?” The question lacks genuine curiosity and it´s intentions have the whole purpose of being derogatory.
 No more than one uncomfortable and silent minute passes in which Dib is not able to answer that question, and in general that is because the answer really remains a mystery to him. The last thing he remembers is running away from the Zim soldiers before receiving an impressive discharge and then losing consciousness and waking up in one of the specialized cells for the members of the resistance. The following is horror and the beginning of hell.
 “Your stupid soldiers! They ambushed Tak and Me to one of your traps.” The pieces fit perfectly creating the only plausible answer, Dib has no doubt that that is what happened.
 The pleasure dances in the alien factions of Zim at the words of his enemy, ignorance and naivety are the blessing of idiots like Dib.
 "You fell directly into a trap, yes, but I assure you disgusting beast that the credit of such ambush is not mine."
 Zim's words blink into Dib's gaze briefly as if they had managed to hit a nerve in him and seconds later the alien sees beyond the human, urging him to follow his example, surprise hits Dib so hard that his feet falter threatening with sinking it further into the ground.
 “Tak?” Dib whispers with growing disbelief, running around the silhouette of the Irken woman with his eyes, although she doesn´t seem to answer his call. What is happening? “You are alive!" He try again with the hope that this time she dignifies her words even with a simple nod.
 The statement doesn´t have the expected effect and Dib frowns, Zim's laugh breaks the charm of the reunion filling the air of uncertainty and malice.
 “So you still don't guess?” Zim asks in a hard and ruthless voice, yearning to see the expression of who has been his nemesis for years and a hindrance in all those plans that ended in failure. “Please Invader Tak, help this dirty human to better understand the nature of your loyalty to the empire.”
 Dib shudders when Tak's silhouette leaves the shelter that the shadows provide her from the other side of the room, and to his bitter disappointment he realizes that Zim is not boasting with empty words.
 “What…?” The face of the human shows some confusion, but any doubt dissipates when Dib seeks sincerity in Tak's gaze and any sign of denial in the face of such an assertion.
 Doesn´t find it.
 Dib's eyes dodge Tak and get stuck in some empty spot in that room, so remember, recognize and he horrified by the truth. That Tak's offer to overthrow Zim's advances on the planet was nothing more than a tactic to take him straight into a trap, the ultimate end of that alliance has nothing to do with Zim's fall and all with his revenge to him.
 Dib's mind and heart are breaks.
 “Why? I trusted you!” The boy simultaneously questions and protests, shaking his head as if with that simple action he could expel the betrayal thoughts that flood his mind.
 Dib is sad when he recognizes that the small moments of complicity and sincerity that he shared with the alleged ex invader meant absolutely nothing to her, perhaps, he thought, he longed for a bit of company and understanding on the part of anyone in the middle of hell they were living. No one could blame him for placing his trust in the first `person´ who held out a hand with the promise of helping him in his cause.
 "I had no choice." She just says, feeling the need that she didn't need to explain more and assuming is better that way. Will help make what comes next much easier for both of they.
 "Yes, you had, but you preferred to take sides with the monster you swore to take revenge on." He corrects painfully in each of his words and gives her a look of disapproval.
 The invader opens her mouth as if she were going to respond but says nothing because she doesn´t find the valid argument to refute the human's words, however Tak doesn´t believe she can explain and justify her actions. At this point any explanation is left over.
 Instead, she regains the determination necessary to end the matter once and for all.
 "Well, you already have him Zim, now you can send him to that prison on one of Saturn's moons." The only reason she ended up in that situation was because of Zim's promise to keep Dib alive by banishing him to that prison.
 The former invader has a backup plan to amend the damage she has done to the human.
 Zim lets out another shrill laugh as if what Tak had just say him was nothing more than a funny joke, then cleared his throat before speaking.
 "The plans have changed Tak but I appreciate your help in bringing this scum to me." The alien replies dryly, hardening his countenance. "I will remember your loyalty when I kill the human." With a wave of his hands Zim calls the guards that waiting patiently for his signal.
 Three soldiers approach the Irken girl to catch her, two hold her hands and the third one positions and presses the tip of his weapon on Tak's back.
 “What? Don´t!” She fights trying to get out of the soldiers grip when they drag her to the door to take her to one of the cells."You're a damn traitor Zim, you promised me you wouldn't hurt Dib!”
 The guards take her out before she could finish her prayer. Dumbfounded by the events, Dib cries out Tak's name again and again hoping she can get rid of her captors, but hope dies when He doesn't perceive her voice after a while.
 "Tak was as pathetic as you after all." Zim says in a hiss to no one in particular. “Harbor such inferior feelings for a pathetic creature is not worthy of an invader.” He boasts, but his tone keeps disgusted by the simple idea.
 After all, feelings are not part of the programming of Irken soldiers and their race in general, not when the ultimate goal of their existence was always conquest and ambition. Love? Compassion? Affect? They were weaknesses that made them vulnerable in their condition.
 Dib pays attention to the words of his enemy recognizing hypocrisy in them, Zim has the nerve to take human feelings as the worst blasphemies for his people when he has also professed those emotions.
 “What about you?” Dib dares to question with the intention of erasing that smug smile on the despicable face of the alien. “You are nothing but a hypocrite in accusing Tak of pathetic when you also has felt affection for a human, Zim.”
 Zim changes his expression of arrogance for one of shock mixed with slight indignation, although it only lasts a fraction of a second before recomposing and facing that human. It doesn't take him a minute to unravel the meaning in Dib's words and frowns at the grief that arises when memories stir within his mind.
 The Irken murmurs a curse in his alien lenguage before approaching the human and putting his heavy boot on Dib's shoulder to sink him further into the ground, rubbing it again and again delighting in the groans of pain from his enemy.
 “Are you going to deny it, damn unhappy monster?” Dib's face comes down to a grimace of pain and his voice is barely audible to fill the room but if to reach Zim. He hopes to see some hint in him, anything that answers the question he has had for many years.
 The alien clicks his teeth towards Dib before removing his boot on him and turning to surround the human, he walks from side by side maintaining the necessary distance between the two although the possibility of escape from the boy is void. A hint of disdain touches Zim's factions in the face of Dib's boldness, it is a subject he continually avoids and has in mind despite the years.
 "I admit that I had these... feelings for little Gaz." Zim have a sudden crackles heat inside him as he pronounce his former lover's name. “But you are wrong Dib beast, Gaz was not a human more of your dirty race, she knew how to recognize the inferiority of her species and despise them for their stupidity, I must admit that little Gaz had enough vision to be taken a account by someone so superior like Zim.”
 Of course, Gaz , the thought reinforces a smile on the alien. Despite the time, Zim still remembers the approach he had with the sister of his worst enemy; the video games, the time she shared at his base repeating him how ineffective his plans were, Zim's mania for pleasing her mundane and ridiculous desires. And the interaction, the feeling of company that made his stay less boring on that deplorable planet.
 Many other details and moments were marked in the alien's memory. Love? His species does not know the term or anything remotely similar to it, however Zim could classify the strange and annoying feeling for the girl as such. Maybe.
 "No Zim, if you had loved Gaz, you wouldn't has left her alone before her death." Dib's voice is barely a low growl full of rage that drips down the ostentatious room, Zim lies and is certain that the affirmation of the feeling of Love to his sister on his part is totally false. “And you wouldn't have killed our father on your return.” No, that was not love . Dib finishes the sentence in his mind but his eyes in rage reflect the thought.
 Dib's hands sting to circle Zim's slender neck and twist him to extinguish his miserable life to avenge his father and all those who died since his return to earth. Underestimating Zim was perhaps the worst mistake made.
 The Irken shrugs as if the claim of the professor's death wasn´t much and in reality for Zim it isn´t, Membrana as well as other humans are obstacles in their way to take the planet and prove to the Tallest their worth as an invader, being this the last and true opportunity.
 It has taken several years for him to have that mission again and he doesn´t plan to let his opportunity be ruined.
 "You will see Dib, unlike your dirty inferior species, the Irken race has only one purpose in its existence." Zim retakes up the previous action of surrounding the human while he explains, moves with sinuous grace in front of him. “The expansion of the empire and the destruction of all inferior life that crosses the road, for thousands of years the empire has been responsible for the ruin of hundreds of planets. That is the purpose of our race, to grow until everything is part of it.”
 Yes, Zim is nothing but a monster. Dib thinks, avoiding the desire to get up and kill the alien right there. The Irkens are really a universal plague: they infest, consume and destroy other planets in order to quench their hunger for domination and power.
 “Invaders like Tak and I shouldn´t have such inferiors feelings because they are a setback to our missions.” Zim's eyes narrow and his lips twist in sardonic humor.
 “You said you loved her!” Dib replies, also remembering Tak's words.
 A dark emotion flames on life in Zim's eyes.
 "Of course I did Dib." The Irken tilts a slight smile that denotes little humor on his lips, but is just a grimace at the awareness of what he will say next. “Zim loved his love-pig very much, but as much as I loved your sister, I also realized that this feeling was only an obstacle to my mission.” He stops to observe the frank disbelief in the human.
 “What do you mean Zim?” It takes Dib a moment to recognize something else in Zim's speech and just a moment to feel the bad omen in the response he was about to receive.
 Zim's expression hardens and Dib understands that his assumptions are true, something doesn't feel right. A strange sensation settles deep within his heart.
 "That even if I loved little Gaz a lot, I had to do what was necessary to do my duty as an invader." The malicious gleam in Zim's eyes goes out when he releases his next words. “I admit that ending Gaz's life was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done. It hurt me to implant those Nanobots in her bloodstream to weaken her defenses and make they think it was an autoimmune disease.” Despite the broken tone, Zim's expression shows no regret."
 Dib blinks at the blunt confession. The premise that the death of his sister was caused by Zim generates a state of shock in him.
 "You..." Dib throws a dark glance at the alien when the feeling of sickening settles in the mouth of his stomach.
 "I understood that if I continued with this situation I would never achieve my purpose and even if I returned to Irk or some other distant planet, I would end up returning to be stay with her." Zim ignores the look on Dib and continues his rant with grim determination.
 A low hiss is heard from Dib's lips and in an outburst of renewed determination he gathers forces to stand up and rush against the despicable Irken who dared to boast about the murder of his little sister. The impact bounces and echoes through the cold walls of the room, the force is such that it throws Zim on the floor in just a second.
 Dib's breathing is agitated and his emotions turbulent and violent with the desire for death characteristic of the instinct for revenge. But the victory lasts less than a blink when Zim stabs Dib's side with one of his PAK legs.
 “Soldiers!” Zim screams angered by such a grievance by a disgusting human and the least he can do with it is to give him the punishment he deserves. Four soldiers arrive to him shortly after that call. “Throw the human into the reinforced containment cell and prepare what is necessary for its execution this afternoon.” Zim's lethal tone doesn´t go unnoticed by subordinates.
 A dismissive wave of his hand is enough for the soldiers to abide by the order immediately taking Dib, and the human is not even strong enough to fight after the outburst of previous violence.
 Dib is dragged to his destination to find death a few hours later and Zim looks at the human with cold disdain for having awaken the feelings inside. The hand of the Irken migrates to a compartment in his PAK from which he removes an object that he has been carrying with him for years protecting him as an invaluable treasure.
 The sharp claws hold the pendant of a necklace with such delicacy, the Invader looks longingly  the object and sighs with regret admitting that he still misses his lover's company; He only hopes that the sacrifice is worthwhile to reaffirm his loyalty to the empire.
.
 .
 .
  End.
~*~
A/N:
 This thing started as a vague idea and it took me almost two weeks to finish writing it... I was inspired by the Guardians of the Galaxy scene vol. 2, when Ego tells Peter the truth about his mother's death and I said why not? And finally this was the final result.
 I had a lot of fun writing this, I think it's been my favorite fic of all the ones I've written so far.  
 Sorry if the story is flawed, this is a translation or at least an attempt at translation... my English is bad.  
 Anyway, I hope you like it and in advance thank you for reading
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shadowofthelamp · 5 years ago
Text
Family
@64bit-gamer suggested irken au egg hatching for the prize! I had a lot of fun writing this one too. :p
Wordcount: 1475
Warnings: None, mentioned past mpreg I guess? 
Zim was watching the eggs. Of course he was, he’d been watching the eggs since laying them. They had created an incubator together- or rather, Dib had created most of it, since Zim had only been able to stand for about twenty minutes at a time when it was being put together two weeks ago. The eggs were settled inside, and had begun to move four days ago, tiny wriggles of life inside the shells that were just translucent enough under the light to show the bodies within.
It was too blurry to determine any details besides the fact that the one that had come out second was a bit smaller than the others. Zim could tell it apart because it had three pink spots on it. The third egg had two, and the other two didn’t have any. So far they’d been telling them apart by numbers- Dib didn’t want to commit to any names until they all hatched safely, and Zim had begrudgingly agreed.
He yawned, scratching at his stomach. It was strange- four months was a blink of an eye to a hundred years, but so much had changed that it felt like he’d lived an entire life since the day he’d started feeling sick and the control brains had turned his existence inside out. His Pak had mostly healed the marks and the after-effects of birth, but it was still strange to feel himself back to a normal weight even a week and a half on.
A light began to flash just as he started to stand up, and he pinned his face to the glass when he saw just which one it was. He jabbed the intercom button on the wall with one of his Pak legs. “Dib!”
There was a crackle of static. “What?”
“The eggs!”
“Is something wr-”
“They’re hatching!”
Dib dropped something heavy- Zim could tell because he let out a swear before the intercom dropped the connection. A moment later, the lab’s door slid open, with Dib bundling his robe up in his fists in order to run faster. He crossed the floor in seconds, staring into the incubator. “Did any get out yet?”
“Four is starting,” Zim said, a grin spreading across his face. “Last out and first hatched, they’re a smart one.”
“Would that make them oldest or youngest?”
“Oldest,” Zim decided as he watched the hairline crack spread over the shell. The tiny irken inside was making their way out, and it made his spooch flutter like he’d swallowed live grease, but in a good way. He reached for the button to open the chamber, but Dib snatched his wrist, pulling it away.
“No, we don’t want to mess it up. What if it hurts them? As soon as they open the egg, we can take it out.”
Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib and opened his mouth to protest when there was a pop that made both of them whirl around. The egg had completely cracked down the middle, and inside was a tiny smeet with their eyes still squeezed shut. Dib didn’t stop Zim when he jabbed the release button this time, and he carefully lifted the smeet out of the  remains of the shell. They were sticky, and Zim looked around for something to wipe them off.
Dib handed over a towel that he’d hung on the wall for when he was working with oily equipment- luckily, it was still clean- and Zim started patting at the goo over the minty green skin. When they were mostly dry, Zim sat down. Or, more accurately, he collapsed to his knees, staring at the little smeet as they yawned with new eyes slowly blinking open.
They were vivid blue, and Dib let out a little squeak. “They’re- they’re just like mine.”
Zim couldn’t help but feel a little jolt of jealousy, but when the antennae perked up it immediately disappeared- they matched his much closer than Dib’s. A good mix then. Another light lit up on the incubator, and Dib knelt next to him, holding his hands out. Zim set the smeet in them and stood back up.
Two of the smeets were hatching at the same time, Three and One. Zim bounced on his heels, the fabric of the uniform Dib had made brushing the front of his legs as he did.
“This one’s a girl,” Dib called, but Zim barely cared, focused on the eggs that were cracking like faultlines. One emerged first, with antennae that looked like handlebars on the end already perked up. They were kind of chubby.
“So you’re the one who made me so big,” Zim said, lifting them up and starting to brush over them with the towel. They squirmed, letting out a little cry, and the bubbling grease-feeling intensified, with a bagful of sugar mixed in for good measure.
He already knew he would do anything for the smeets, but seeing even the larger one so tiny in his hands… it ran warmth through him like liquid sunshine. He passed that one to Dib too, who was grooming the ends of the oldest’s antennae that had been soaked in egg-slime. 
The next one already had their eyes open. He lifted them out carefully, seeing the magenta practically sparkle in the lab’s fluorescent lights. With a jolt, he realized that one antenna was shorter than the other. 
“This is a boy,” Dib said. “I think. Man, it’s hard to tell. We left gender blank on the Paks, right? I’d rather not-”
“Look,” Zim said, holding the sticky little one out to Dib.
“Oh, they have your- ! Oh.” Dib tilted his head. “Well, one of your antennae doesn’t work entirely and you’re fine, right? They’ll be okay.”
Zim turned them around, and they reached for his thumb with a smile, grip already tight. Zim could hear Dib rummaging around for the Paks, but his gaze was riveted on the smeet in his hands.
He’d made them. He’d made them, and they weren’t perfect, but their eyes mirrored his and the smile on their doll-sized face equaled the grin on his own.
He loved them. Love was new and confusing and too fast and not fast enough all at once, something irkens hadn’t dreamed of in millennia, but he knew for certain he could feel it because of how Dib’s smile made him feel, and this was deep down the same.
Dib nudged his side, holding out the last one. They were clearly the runt- the other smeets were tiny, but the final one was about two thirds the size of their siblings. Not that it mattered- Zim had come out somewhat small himself, and right now he felt like the luckiest irken in the galaxy.
“They’re all healthy. This one will just probably be short, their breathing is still normal.” Dib walked over to the second blanket he’d laid out on the floor where the other two smeets had been laid. They crawled over each other, tugging at antennae with tiny tongues sticking out of their mouths. Dib set down the small one and took the one with the short antennae from Zim, carefully lining up the chip-sized Pak with their back before carefully plugging it in. 
Electricity arched through them, dancing through their eyes and making their chest glow for just a moment. Their antennae perked up when the glow faded on the Pak’s ports, and their smile widened as they looked up at Dib.
“Papa!” The voice was high enough Zim felt confident calling it a girl.
“Hello, little one,” Dib murmured, rubbing the top of her head between her antennae. She let out a little happy chirp, before Zim held out his arms, palms up.
“Let me hold ‘em, I wanna-” 
“Alright, I’ll plug in the others.” Dib nodded at him, carefully depositing the smeet in his hands. She looked up at him, blinking.
“Papa… two?”
“I am Zim. And I’m the one that had you, so I get to be papa one,” Zim said, carefully cupping his hands so she could lean back on his fingers. He lifted her up to his face, and she leaned against his cheek, nuzzling her own against it.
“Papa one, then!”
There was a little chorus of smeet voices as Dib plugged the other three Paks in. Zim looked over to see two of them hugging Dib’s boot, and the blue-eyed one in Dib’s hands was examining her own foot with awe. 
He gave the girl in his hands another little nuzzle, and she let out a tinkly laugh, before following the noise to see her siblings.
“Who’re they?” She asked, quirking her head to the side. 
Zim dug deep into his Pak’s dictionary for the word, still foreign even though the feeling was growing familiar.
“Family.”
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saintheartwing · 4 years ago
Text
Invader Zim: The Pigshit Troll, Part Three
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"So it's coming from Dad's lab?"
Gaz was now very intrigued indeed. She sat across from Dib in the living room as he pulled open his laptop, Gaz pulling open a can of "Mountain Spew" and drinking away. Dib glanced over at the black can, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah…but why are you drinking that new flavor? Aren't you more into the original?"
"Yeah, but I wanna give the new flavor a try and I gotta be honest, it ain't bad for a zero calorie soda. It tastes like the way Mountain Spew used to way back in the day. A LOT better than their diet one, I'll tell ya that." Gaz remarked. "And it ain't given me diarrhea yet, so that's a plus."
Dib did the very best he could to suppress his laughter. When it came to Gaz's diet, her constantly going to Bloaty's Pizza Hog had real consequences. The cheese round the clock was getting her blocked, but when the levee finally broke, well…frankly, so did the toilet. Many, many times. And she would make him clean it.
There had been a positive to this though. Dib was now amazingly good at plumbing and mechanical engineering and he was actually picking up some decent money loaning his services out to the neighborhood as a plumber…provided nobody told the local trade unions about what he was up to, because compared to them, he was real cheap. So now he could afford a VERY nice laptop with all the bells and whistles as he showed it off to Gaz.
"Yeah, the IP address was traced back to Dad's lab. Unfortunately, I can't track it down to the very computer, Dad does have enough security in place to keep me from seeing that and no way am I risking jail time by cracking that open. They almost busted me last month when Dad tried to install the "Parental Controls" on our new television and I don't want Officer Krupke giving me that lecture again."
Indeed, in one of the very few times Dib and Gaz had been bound by common strife and pledged to work together for a common good, Professor Matthew Membrane had installed parental controls on their television because he was concerned about the damage being done to them from exposure to new Netflix series. Especially with all the brand new true crime dramas popping up all the time, it turned out to be something both Dib AND Gaz positively loved, the chase, the investigation, the grisly details, it was so engaging. They would watch together on the couch, eyes glued to the screen, binge-watching for hours and hours and then eagerly chatting about ALL they'd seen at dinner.
Well, Membrane had been determined to stop them from having their minds all twisted up by violence and at first it worked really well.
"C'mon! I wanna watch "The Ken and Barbie Killers!"
"Fat chance. You're gonna watch Cupcake Wars and you're gonna like it."
"Damn it, lemme watch Don't F—k with Cats, it's a classic!"
"No way. You're going to watch "Masterpiece Theatre"."
"Well…if it's got Patrick Stewart in it that might not be so-"
"Featuring Brian Blessed in the star role of Macbeth!"
"OH GOD NO!"
"Hey, what gives?!"
"That's enough cartoons for you today. You're gonna watch some Animal Planet…no, wait. Better. C-Span. It's good to be involved in politics these days."
"Oh c'mon, it's just hearings on air traffic controllers! You fiend!"
So finally, Gaz had insisted Dib get rid of the thing.
"I'd be risking major jail time!"
"Dib…it's recording the best of Fuller House."
"…I'll go get my screwdriver."
Dib had indeed almost got caught and had to listen to a very irritating lecture from the police. It was rather astounding they got to the house so quick over that, but whenever Dib tried to let them know Zim was up to something, it was "Yeah, we'll get to you when we can".
The good news was the parental controls issue got solved soon enough. Professor Membrane himself decided to get rid of it, saying that though he was worried about the things they were watching, it was his job, not some machine's, to judge and curate what his children saw.
Translation: the parental controls wouldn't let him watch "The Mandalorian" because it was too violent.
"Well can we look up who's working at Dad's laboratory who might have a grudge against you?" Gaz asked as Dib grinned.
"Luckily, that's not protected health information, Dad lists all the employees on the website and under "Contact Us"!" He remarked as his fingers flew across the keyboard and he then turned the laptop to fully show Gaz the list. "Look at who's listed? Keef, of all people is one of the assistants, he's an intern!"
"Hmm. I've always thought there's something off about him…and his stories, well…" Dib cringed.
Keef was definitely, one hundred percent not allowed to write anything even remotely close to sexual. The school had no problem with stories about, say…Zim skinning people alive in one of HIS work. For some reason, that was just fine. Oh, but a bit of soft sex, nakedness? No no no no no! Bad!
But Keef had found a way around that and did stories with lots of innuendo, and a ton…a ton of stories involving Dib, Gaz, Zim…and romance. He called the ones between Zim and Dib "ZADR" and with Gaz and Zim "ZAGR". You could find them cute if you were into that sort of thing, after all, many were astoundingly well written, lovingly detailed, and your heart would begin racing as you kept reading his creative writing tales.
But Dib didn't much like the idea. For one, Zim was over 150, he was waaaaay too old for either him…or Gaz. Two, EW. Three, a lot of the stories had Dib's own personality being ignored just so he could smooch it up with Zim! It didn't come across as a natural evolution or a progression or character development that made sense, it was just "I want this person here, so I'm just going to force them to be there, even if it makes no sense, because the plot is pretty much porn".
Gaz, however, kinda thought it was cute in a funny sort of way. She also knew it wasn't like Dib had never thought about kissing Zim, Dib was still discovering himself, after all, and he had had dreams about…that sort of thing.
"And there's Mr. Elliot!" Dib added. "Wow, why did he decide to work there?"
Gaz smirked and chuckled inwardly. Nobody would EVER know how she got rid of him, and she wasn't gonna tell anyone. And if she wanted you out of your job at the school, it would happen. Now, there were three ways to stop her from doing what she do.
…what? You think imma TELL you?
"He could have finally snapped." Gaz mused aloud. "I mean, when the nice ones snap…they really, really go wild. It's the nice guys you need to watch out for, you can trust a jerk to always be a jerk. But when a decent person goes bad, they go baaaaaad."
"Yeah, that's possible." Dib confessed. "Hmm. Look, our janitor works there too." He murmured. "Johnny."
…Johnny. The one and only Johnny. A slim, slender man, messy black hair that was just downright ugly and grimy. A pale body, sunken eyes, and he smelled strange too, like meat that had been left out on the counter for far too long. He liked making little snappy remarks at people too.
"Did you wash the bathrooms like we asked?"
"I'll wash the walls with your blood!"
"Well before you do that, wash the bathrooms."
On top of that, there were rumors that he caked blood on the walls of his janitorial closet to feed a monster that laid within. He was always seen sinisterly smoking at the very edge of school property at night, an anti-social, creepy figure indeed. Him being the actual troll…it wasn't unreasonable to think of Johnny, curled up in his closet, hunched over his laptop, spewing hate out into the world.
"Wait. Wait, wait, wait, look!" Gaz pointed at one of the names. "…Tassirak. That girl's name's Tassirak Doe."
Dib frowned, and he examined the photo that went with the name. "Doe" was a common name for a dead body you hadn't identified and-wait. Wait. Those eyes. The facial structure. The hair may have been different, the skin tone less pale, but Dib recognized those eyes instantly, and that faint Mona Lisa smile too.
And he knew that name, because Tak, Irken Invader, had divulged that to him.
Dib had gotten really close to Tak when she'd first arrived, the purple-haired British-accented girl had been charming, intelligent and clever, and they'd had similar interests. He'd soon spent weeks with her, the two just…talking. Making fun of Zim, chatting about their favorite books and movies they'd read, sharing stories about adventures out in the wild…
And of course, that Valentine's Day dance. "No, no. One-two-three, swing! One-two-three, swing!" Tak had insisted to him.
"Ouch! Don't drag me!"
Her lessons on dancing were harsh but in truth, that time spent with Tak had probably been the happiest he'd ever been.
And that's how he should have known it was a lie. Because Dib knew he wasn't meant to be happy. He'd known that…for a long time.
She'd revealed her real name. They'd eaten lunches and even a dinner or two together. Seen movies and he'd walked her home. And then, just a few days later, she'd turned out to be an Irken invader.
It had hurt. A lot. He'd lost a friend. And maybe someone more. It had really…really hurt.
"Does SHE have an account on the website?" Dib murmured as he examined the school's creative writing website. "…oh wow, yeah, she does, she's using her old username and password she got when she first enrolled, there's not much, but they're there. Wow." He examined them. "She wields metaphors like blunt instruments. You can feel Tak in every single sentence, so much of it is in first person and there is a lot of really biting, cynical wit in here. It feels almost nihilistic. And it's super petty, too. A lot of really nasty stuff happening to folks she doesn't like."
"Wow, one story has her as the Tallest." Gaz remarked. "…damn, she cooked and ate the last ones. That's hardcore scary."
"It's beautifully written though, I'd like to shake her hand than recommend her to therapy." Dib admitted. "I mean, she's going into really grisly detail on every minute they die. She must be super bitter. I don't even wanna imagine what happens to Zim when she updates this story, she just finished catching him and she's got him tied up in…Japanese rope bondage? She's into BDSM?"
"The safe word is "eine kleine nachtmusik"." Wow, somebody's letting their inner Hannibal Lecter out, alright." Gaz said with a whistle. "…still, I kinda WANT her to update just to see what happens. It's like watching a train wreck, you kinda can't look away."
"It could definitely be here. We need to go to the lab and sneak onto those computers. If they saved their work on them at any point, I could prove they were behind it." Dib reasoned.
"I dunno, Dib. Not sure I wanna help you with this. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not really fun anymore watching you get dragged again and again for what the troll's doing, but…" She shrugged. "I mean, it's not my problem."
"What if I paid you?" Dib offered as Gaz rubbed her chin.
"…keep talking, Mr. Moneybags."
"My new job is paying me verrrrry well. To plant roses, I've shoveled a lot of manure, as it were." Dib remarked. "So how about it? Is there a new game you want me to buy?" He offered as Gaz thought to herself.
"Hmm. Well…now that you mention it, there is one game that's coming out that I really want. It's Sekiro: Shadows Die Thrice. Comes out in a week. You buy me that, I'll come with you."
"Deal." Dib insisted.
And so, Dib and Gaz made their way to Professor Membrane's lab that weekend as a quilt of dark clouds obscured their stealthy approach. Slinking on inside through the ventilation shaft as Dib temporarily looped the footage of the nearby camera watching the southern side of the laboratory, they crept through the vents and finally deposited themselves in, of all places, Johnny's closet in the lab.
There was a laptop there, hidden by a bucket. Gaz picked it up, gazing through it as she nodded over at Dib. "I'll look over this one, you go look for Keef's. Then we'll meet back here in…half an hour and go look for Mr. Elliot and Tak's."
"Deal." Dib said with a nod, quickly exiting the closet, getting his camera-hacking tool ready as it was clasped tight around his wrist. The lab was almost utterly closed for the moment, most people were heading home, there was just a skeleton crew left over. This meant it was easy for Dib to sneak around, avoiding spots in the security camera's vision and using his hacking tool to loop footage when he couldn't.
At long last, he reached a work station, the same station Keef had been said to be working at, since the website had said he was paired with a "Dr. Jones". Dib looked about, listening intently. No cameras here, and nobody was inside or anywhere nearby. So he slunk over to the computer and booted it up.
Ha! Keef had been the last one to use the PC, his username was on display. And Dib had a feeling he could guess the password.
Yep! Sure enough, it was "ZADRZAGR". "Oh, Keef…ya basic." Dib chuckled as he looked over Keef's internet history and-
"…hoooooo boy."
Well, Keef definitely, one hundred percent was not the one who sent the reviews. But now Dib knew where Keef got so much help in…inspiration…for his work. He had no idea Keef swung that way!...and that way, AND that way and THAT way.
"Well, um…whatever does it for you, Keef." Dib decided, quickly deciding to erase the internet history and log off, shaking his head. Meanwhile, Gaz had finally guessed Johnny's password. She'd had a feeling it was "Mammon" and yep…it was Mammon. Johnny may have been a loyal, devoted Satan-worshipping weirdo…but he wasn't very smart. He'd left a post it note reminding himself to change his last password since it was too easy to guess, and he needed a better one, and to pick a better demon lord. Unluckily for him, not only had he tossed that post it note in the trash can in the very closet Gaz was in, she'd realized the password hint immediately. "Greed is Good". Well, there were a few Demon lords best known for Greed and one of the best had been what she'd picked.
PING! She was in. And my oh my, Johnny had been a naughty boy. He'd taken selfies to share on the Internet of him and the bloody wall he caked gore on, selfies he was sharing on the Dark Web. Nasty stuff indeed. One particularly "funny" one showed him making a kind of macabre "snowman" on the wall with some exposed ribs and a bashed in nose and two eyes burned up like coals!
And then there were his uploads to "Bestgore". Yeccchhh. Gaz was fine with dooming the deserving wretches, but Johnny was just an outright creep about this-
Wait.
Wait, was that a cat?
He wouldn't.
…he WOULDN'T-
Gaz's mouth fell open and then she darkly glowered, shutting the video off and going through the rest of the janitor's internet history. No, he wasn't the one leaving those reviews. But he was guilty, alright. Just not of the sin Dib thought he was guilty of.
A few minutes later, Dib knocked on the closet door and she exited it, giving Dib a solemn look. "He's not the one. He's a piece of shit, but he's not the one."
Dib could see something was very, very wrong, Gaz had a look on her face he'd only seen when she'd seen crime specials on killers who hurt animals. He thought it best not to ask about it. "I understand. It isn't Keef, either. He's into a lot…but not into that sort of thing."
So now it came time to check the other computer stations. Luckily for them, both Mr. Elliot and Tak were working in the same wing.
Unluckily for them, they were still there. A fact the two found out when they opened the door…
Just in time to see Mr. Elliot AND Tak currently hunched over a computer screen. "What the?!" Dib gasped out as the two wheeled around, seeing Dib and Gaz, staring in surprise as Dib and Gaz looked behind them and-
…Jackass? They were watching Jackass videos?
"You're into those stupid stunt videos where the guys get, like, basketballs bounced onto their balls after they're launched onto trampolines?" Gaz inquired as Tak and Mr. Elliot deeply blushed, Dib racing over to the computer, gaping at the sight before his eyes. He couldn't believe it.
"But it's so…lowbrow! So…STUPID!" He remarked aloud.
"But it's funny." Mr. Elliot said with a shrug. "I can't help it, I find it funny."
"Yeah, something about it simply clicked with me." Tak admitted. "I mean, I do enjoy watching stupid humans suffering for my amusement."
"Yeah, the Germans have a term for it. Schadenfreude." Mr. Elliot confessed. "Happiness at the misfortune of others." He added as Dib looked through their internet history. Yeah, they'd hadn't left the reviews either. All that work, all that effort for…nothing! Except now he knew stuff about his classmates he really, REALLY wish he could unlearn.
"It's not that funny." Gaz said, though she chuckled as she saw a video of Johnny Knoxville soaring off a motorcycle and into a ball pit, groaning loudly…because he was butt naked when he did it. "Okay, maybe a LITTLE funny."
"Sometimes you just wanna indulge in something nice, simple and a bit stupid. Not everything has to be Shakespeare, after all. It fills a need and it doesn't really harm anyone." Tak remarked. "Well, except them, but they get paid for it, so…" She shrugged.
Dib moaned. "Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. I thought for SURE…"
"You're really not that Pig Shit troll, huh?" Tak wondered aloud. "I thought maybe you were doing some kind of false flag, Dib, but…no, it really isn't you." She commented dryly. "Hmm. Well, best of luck with that. Unless another classmate of yours, like, pees their pants or something in front of everyone in school, nobody's going to forget this anytime soon. The good news is that people have short memories. A month or two passes by, and you'll be fine. Folks are like GOLDFISH. Best and worst thing about them!" She laughed.
"…yeah, maybe if I slip Zim some ex-lax under the guise of it being a candy bar I can trick him into taking from me…" Dib mumbled as he slunk out of the room. "This sucks. This totally sucks."
"Cheer up, tomorrow Dad's going to treat us to breakfast, remember?" Gaz offered. "You always like that." She told him as they headed out the office door and down the hall to exit out of the building.
"Yeah, him making his pancake and eggs combo with bacon always-"
Dib stopped. Wait.
…wait.
Could it be?
"…I need to check one more computer." He quietly muttered at Gaz, his voice sounding cold and dead.
… "You liking your delicious breakfast, son?" Professor Membrane asked as Gaz stared at Dib, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He'd said absolutely nothing since their Dad had begun making breakfast and now he was halfway through his meal when he slowly finished chewing and looked up.
"…it's really nice." Dib remarked. "Can I ask you something, Dad?" Dib wanted to know, as he put the fork down and folded his hands in his lap.
"Of course, son! Anything!" Professor Membrane said as Dib took in a long, deep breath.
"Why did you do it? Why did you do those reviews?"
Professor Membrane dropped the plate of bacon he had in his black-gloved hands, looking astounded. Dib went on, speaking quietly. Softly. Soft…but with an edge.
"I thought about it, long and hard. I remembered you were the one who encouraged me to come see you if I kept having problems. The IP address was also traced back to your lab. And then I thought about how…ridiculous the reviews were. They were so badly written but…not badly written enough for someone in my class to have done it. I mean, even a 9 year old knows not to write in all caps. It had to be somebody older, trying to be over the top. And then when I checked your computer, just to be sure…I found out…yes. It was you." He remarked. "…so Dad…why'd you do it?"
Professor Membrane sighed as he sat down at the table, and held his head in his hands. "I…I did want to try and…push you into my arms, as it were. That if I put a little pressure on you in your school setting, you'd keep coming back to me to talk about how you felt. It allowed me to feel like I was the only person you could truly trust, and that felt good. But it wasn't just that, I…" He took a deep breath. "It was…funny to write those reviews. Sometimes it just feels good to be…so lowbrow and coarse and nasty." He admitted. "It was like I tapped into some dark, twisted part of me that'd I'd been ignoring for so long, and when I finally got a chance to let it run wild, it felt amazing!"
He rose up a little and went on. "I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I need ways to unwind myself. I didn't really think I was actually doing any harm. Or maybe…I didn't want to believe it, because I didn't really mean all the things I said, so how could it be anything that bad?" He murmured as Dib took off his glasses, Gaz taking in a short, sharp breath.
Dib never…ever did that. Him doing that meant he must have been really furious.
"…I don't think I want to talk to you for a while, Dad." He quietly muttered.
"…I thought as much." His father sighed as they sat across from one another in silence at the breakfast table, and Gaz quietly sipped on her orange juice.
Come the next day, it was a school day again, and Dib was making his way down the hallway before he overheard a rather familiar accusation.
"I'm telling you, he's writing about your fic in his fic. He's trashing your fic and making fun of it and you as a writer. He's a troll but pretends he isn't and just blames it on another troll when he keeps trolling."
Dib turned around, seeing Zita talking to the Letter M and he frowned a bit as he stared at the girl and the African American boy she was talking to.
"You know, you're just plain wrong." He said aloud, as other kids began to look at him. "It was my dad all this time. Not me. And I don't really care if you don't believe me. I've said my piece. You don't like it, tough." He told her, walking off.
"You think that'll convince us?"
"No. But maybe there's no point in casting pearls before swine." Dib said with a shrug as he walked off. "And people like you who just plug their ears and won't listen to any counterarguments are real pigs indeed." He remarked as he walked off, Gaz walking alongside him.
"Pearls before swine, huh? Nice Bible quote." She remarked. "But I wouldn't be too worried. Tak was right. Just wait a month or so, folks will forget."
"Oh, I don't doubt it. I thought about sneaking Ex-Lax to Zim but…I'm not going to lower myself to that." Dib insisted. "Even if it would be really funny."
"Well, I've got something that'll cheer you up." Gaz offered. "I copied the videos Johnny the Homicidal Maniac did for the dark web and I sent it to the police and now he's in jail! So we're gonna need a new janitor."
Dib stopped in the hall. "…wait, is this because of how good I am at plumbing now? Look, there's no way I can be the new janitor. I'll be a laughingstock! Dib, the janitor!"
"Yeah…but you will get keys to every single room in the school." Gaz added. "And paid twice what those neighbors pay you."
Dib chewed his lip. "…well…when you put it like that…I mean, it would be nice to be able to literally go anywhere I want in the school at any time…and I could use the dough…"
"You could rig the toileeeeets so that they always act uuuuuup whenever Zim goes to use iiiiiit." Gaz added in a faint, singsong voice.
"…I KNEW there was a reason I respected you." Dib said with a big grin.
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writeyouin · 6 years ago
Note
(Invader Zim) How about the reader is able to turn into a wendigo like creature (you know, the thing with a deer skull and sharp teeth). The reader escaped from a lab that ran horrible tests on her. Dib knows her secret, but treats her like a friend. How would Zim react if he saw his s/o use her power for the first time?
Dib X Reader – Wendigo
A/N – I PUBLISHED THIS ON THE WRONG DAMN REQUEST. HERE IT IS BRAND NEW.
Warnings – None.
Rating – T
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Science is a curious subject, as are the people who study it. Some of science’s greatest minds are gentle beings, exploring the world with eager eyes whereas others are awful beasts with no time for petty concerns like morals or safety as long as they got the answers they sought. Maybe life wouldn’t be so bad if you were in the hands of the former, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.
You stared pitifully out of your containment cell at the cramped laboratory that served as your prison, searching for any sign of your captor, who you’d never actually seen before, but only heard through the laboratory speakers. Suddenly, the cell filled with the knock-out gas you were all too familiar with. You groaned, falling to the floor, knowing that when you woke up, it would be for more painful experiments.
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Dib was excited. As usual, nobody had believed him when he said he’d found evidence of Big Foot in the woods, but he knew that everyone was just ignorant of the truth and he was going to prove it. Although he’d initially planned to spend the day monitoring Zim, who’d been unusually quiet of late, Dib couldn’t after finding what could only be Big Foot’s fur and a trail of destruction leading out of the city.
After taking the last bus from the city to the final stop where the woods just began, Dib was ready to begin his adventure. Tugging on his backpack that contained all manner of things from his father’s workshop that he’d adapted to capture Big Foot, he spoke into the air with a steely determination, “I’m coming for you Big Foot.”
Hours into his trek, when the moon was high above him, Dib adorned his night-vision goggles, refusing to stop for even a moment to rest. If Mickey McNaddy had rested, would he have found a slough of the snake people? No, he would just be another nobody in a world full of nobodies. Dib would not be a nobody. He would be the world’s best Paranormal Investigator.
Dib spotted a nearby tree that had deep gouges in the bark. He eyed them carefully, surprised that Big Foot had claws; it was a scientific discovery he would be sure to share with the world. “Must be getting close now,” he said to himself.
While Dib forged ahead, Zim grinned evilly from within his lab, using camera drones to track his enemy. The trail of destruction leading Dib into the woods was a pure act of genius, any minute now and Dib would fall right into his trap.
“Yes, stinking fool boy, GO INTO ZIM’S TRAP OF ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION!” Zim screeched, laughing maniacally.
Dib jolted in the forest, as a guttural scream broke the peaceful sounds of nature around it. Such a sound could not belong to neither man nor beast; it was the sound of the supernatural. Elation trumping fear, Dib ran towards the scream.
“THIS IS IT BIG FOOT, I’M COMING FOR Y-” He froze at the sight that met him. It wasn’t Big Foot, it was something much, much worse. A lanky creature twice Dib’s size stood in a clearing. It had a sparse covering of fur over elongated limbs; the fur didn’t come close to matching the sample in Dib’s pocket. At the end of the creatures elongated hands were six-inch razor-sharp claws, and where its feet should have been were black cloven hooves, supporting its curved legs. Instead of a head, there was only a pure white deer skull with two black antlers protruding at the top.
Dib shook in place, realising that none of his tools would help him now. Everything he had was for use against Big Foot, he had nothing that would protect him from the wrath of a Wendigo.
With eyeless sockets, you, once a human, stared at the quivering boy before you. You tasted his soul, finding strength and curiosity beyond his years. Sensing no greed worth punishing, the Wendigo part of your mind opted not to attack.
Dib swallowed his fear, thinking through plans A-Z that might help him capture what might be the only Wendigo he’d ever seen in his life. He pointed at you, “S-Stop right there, Wendigo. I- Uh I will capture you.”
You opened your maw, revealing the sharp fangs of an apex predator. After letting out a low growl, you spoke, each word thick and gravelly as it struggled to come from a non-human mouth. “Back away boy, I have no quarrel with you, I simply wish to leave this place.”
“YOU CAN TALK! This is amazing, I mean, I’ve read about Wendigos but none of my research ever suggested- HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
Dib ran to catch up with you, annoyed that you were walking away from him, yet simultaneously excited that he could communicate with you and get everything he needed from the horse’s mouth so to speak.
“I’ve gotta ask, how did you become a Wendigo? Were you born one? Did you eat some human flesh? What can you do? Are there more of you? I thought you’d be taller. How long do Wendigos live? Do you need to sharpen your claws?”
You slashed the air in front of Dib, tearing part of his shirt but missing his flesh on purpose. “LEAVE PUP. I HATE QUESTIONS FROM FILTHY HUMANS.”
Dib stared at you bemusedly, “All right, first off that was my favourite shirt. Second, I’m not filthy. I bathed this morning, twice; once for Skool, and again after a fight with Zim.”
You jolted painfully, lurching forward and stumbling onto Dib for support. Dib fell to the ground under your weight, “Hey, you alright? Was it something I said? You know, if you let me take you to the TV studios where they film Mysterious Mysteries, I’ll make sure you get any medical treatment you need.”
You groaned, clawing at your skull as flesh grew over it. Slowly and excruciatingly, your bones broke, reforming into smaller ones as you returned to your original form. If Dib was less flabbergasted by the unique transformation from Wendigo to human, he would have been embarrassed by your lack of clothes. Instead, he rolled you off him, dropping his coat over you and pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself while you recovered from your stupor.
“…Incredible. A full metamorphosis. Note to self, find out the cause… and get some pizza to bribe Gaz into helping me. What would it take, I wonder…”
You wrapped yourself in the coat, feeling the return of your human senses. On shaky legs, you got up, moving slowly away from Dib so as not to draw attention to yourself. Unfortunately, Dib was not so dim-witted as to not notice your minor escape attempt. He grabbed your arm, handcuffing it to his own and stating simply, “You have to come with me now.”
“Let me go, boy,” You hissed pitifully, missing the threat that your wendigo side had.
“Quit calling me boy, you’re like the same age as me. My name is Dib and I’ll be the guy taking you to Mysterious Mysteries now, so get comfy.”
You toppled to the ground petulantly, “Not if I can help it.”
Despite his small size, Dib was strong from his multiple battles with Zim and as such, he had only a little trouble dragging you in the desired direction. “I’m sure you’ll love it when we get there. Look, you can decide how the interview goes and I’ll even let you pick out your own scientific name, but the world needs to know about you.”
You reached for a nearby sapling with your free hand, holding onto it so Dib couldn’t drag you any further. “I’m not going anywhere,” You screeched, holding him back.
“Why are you resisting? We could be famous.” He reached for your hand, trying to prise it from the tree.
“No, you could be famous. I’ll get stuck in another lab. I WON’T GO BACK!” You kicked your legs to show your rage.
Dib sat down next to you, “You mean you weren’t born like this?”
“No, I’m a human, you idiot!”
Dib ignored the insult, “What lab?”
“I dunno… it had a lot of wires, and I remember the colour red, but I didn’t see much from my cage.”
“Was there a tiny robot? Or an alien with green skin?!” He asked loudly with a sudden glint in his eyes.
You let go of your branch, sitting up moodily, “I. Don’t. Know. I didn’t see anyone in there. I was stolen from my home. I was experimented on. I was knocked out for everything. Then, I woke up a monster and I escaped.”
“How did you get out?”
You sighed, figuring that as long as you were talking, you wouldn’t be exposed on TV. “There was a loose bar on the cage, when I turned into the Wendigo, I tore it off.”
“And your transformations, you can control them?”
“Sort of… I get tired though. Now will you please let me go? I’m not here to be your discovery.”
Dib sighed, hating that he had to have a moral compass now of all times. Knowing that you were born a human meant he had an obligation to you as one of his own. Why did he have to swear an oath to protect humanity, no matter what? Just once, couldn’t he find a supernatural creature that didn’t escape or that wasn’t created by Zim.
“Okay…” He said quietly. “I’m going to tell you something and you have to believe me because it has everything to do with why you’re a Wendigo.”
You stared at him sharply, curious at what information he could possibly have that might help you.
“There’s this kid in my class, only he’s not a kid, he’s an alien. By what you’ve told me, he turned you into this.” Dib waited a moment, then frowned, the expression quickly turning into one of pure elation, “You’re not laughing! YOU’RE NOT LAUGHING AT ME! YOU DON’T THINK I’M CRAZY!”
You were pulled up quickly by Dib’s attempt at a happy dance, which quickly landed you on top of him. You growled annoyedly, the sound having little effect outside of your Wendigo form. Completely missing your social cue, Dib simply continued smiling to himself at the prospect of finding what was possibly the only other sane human in the city.
“Yeah, yeah, your guy is an alien,” You said hurriedly. “Let me outta these cuffs.”
“HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE? HE TURNED YOU INTO A WENDIGO!”
“YEAH!” You pushed Dib in the chest, making him stumble, though he didn’t fall. “So, I know exactly what he can do! All I want to do is leave and go somewhere he will never find me.”
“What if I can give you something more?”
You sneered, “What do you mean?”
“I mean what if I can help you find a cure or something?”
“…I’m listening.”
Dib was prepared to give a full-length speech on his plans to stop Zim, but sensing your anger he kept it short, having lost far too many audiences in the past. “I want to save the world from Zim. You can help me, mainly because you know what it’s like to be hurt by him and I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t want that for anybody else. In the meantime, you can live with me in my room and I’ll help you find a cure; my dad has a tonne of stuff that could help you.”
You scoffed, “Your dad, huh? What’re you gonna say to him? ‘Gee dad, I brought a Wendigo home, can I keep her?’”
“’Kay, that sounded nothing like me by the way, and we have no problems in the parental department; my dad’s never home.”
While you didn’t like Dib or his plan, you were stuck for options and so you reluctantly nodded. “Fine… Now take the cuffs off.”
Dib coughed embarrassedly, “Yeah, about that… I accidentally left it at home.”
It was your turn to sigh, “Idiot.”
While you and Dib walked side by side towards the bus stop, Zim stroked his chin from the confines of his lab, intrigued by the unusual turn of events. His plans hadn’t gone to accordance, but he sensed an opportunity even greater than his previous one, so long as he could be patient and try a few new experiments; one way or another, he would use you to destroy the filthy Dib creature.
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It had been exactly sixty-two days since Dib found you in the woods and your shaky alliance was formed in the heat of the moment. Since then, after watching him work on finding a cure for you, watching Mysterious Mysteries together whenever he came home from skool, and living with him in his room, you couldn’t deny that he’d grown on you, as you had to him. Whenever he danced now, you joined in, and instead of flinching from his touch, you leaned into it, trusting him intimately.
Sometimes, your Wendigo form got the better of you, forcing a transformation. In those times, you relied on him more than ever to keep you stable, helping you control yourself long enough to change back before you hurt someone. Mostly, you wanted to hurt Zim, who you still hadn’t officially met, though you had seen silent footage of him from Dib’s hacked city cameras. Occasionally however, you wanted to hurt the infamous Professor Membrane, Dib and Gaz’s father, for although you also hadn’t met him, you saw the pain Dib tried to hide when he achieved something great and there was nobody else there to praise him for it. You did what you could to cheer your friend up on those days, but you couldn’t ever make-up for a father’s love, or lack thereof.
You were actually thinking about whether you’d ever see the illusive Professor when you heard the skool bus outside. You ran outside, ignoring Gaz as she did you, to meet Dib, crushing him in a hug which he happily reciprocated, having got used to your usual displays of affection; being practically the only person you ever saw, it was hard not to grow attached to him in such a manner.
“How was your day? Did you see Zim? Did you fight? I want to hear everything.”
“Well actually, Zim was-” Dib looked over your shoulder, seeing a glint of silver high in the neighbour’s tree. “ZIM!” He glowered, upon spotting Zim’s robot, Gir.
Not caring that you were in public, you shifted, feeling the old wisdom seep into you as you traded your old flesh for the skull of the Wendigo. In an urge to protect you from your creator, Dib chased after Gir, jumping into the trees and pursuing him onto the rooftops, while you stopped to look around for its master.
You felt a small scratch penetrate the skin on your shoulder and turned unhurriedly to see Zim in his human disguise, only a few metres away with a blow-dart. You shrieked angrily, though Zim didn’t look the slightest bit intimidated.
“Funny how easy Dib can get distracted by the art of misdirection,” Zim said casually.
You tried to taste his soul but found nothing that you could discern; apparently, aliens were much harder to read than humans. Lacking your Wendigo senses, you opted to attack, baring your fangs and readying your claws to hack and slash.
Seeing your hands twitching, Zim shook his head, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Why not?” You hissed.
“Because, that blow-dart was full of nanobots, aimed to destroy you if you so much as get near me without my permission.” He chuckled proudly, “Quite genius if I do say so myself.”
“WHAT DO YOU WANT, MONSTER?”
“I want what you want. I want to help you.”
Despite what he’d told you about the nanobots, you considered attacking anyway, thinking it might be worth your life if you could take him down in time. “Help me? YOU MADE ME!”
“No, no, no. While you are impressive, if you were mine, I would have improved your reaction time and made you taller. See, that’s why I’m here, to fill you in on the truth.” With a flourish, Zim prepared himself for a dramatic reveal of the truth, “You see, I have found-”
High pitched, robotic laughter interrupted Zim, over his comm-link. “I’M BEING CHASED BY A MONKEY!”
“GIR! I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTERRUPT ME!”
“BUT I WANNA HEAR TOO.”
“NO! STICK TO THE PLAN AND KEEP THE PUTRID DIB CREATURE AWAY!”
“Awww… Okie dokie.”
The radio fell silent and Zim cleared his throat, pretending nothing had happened. “As I was saying, you presume me to be some evil alien and I ask, are you sure it’s me you should fear?”
You didn’t respond, waiting for what Zim had to say since he obviously wasn’t there to attack you and you could do nothing to get to him.
“I want you to think about Dib. Has he really found a cure for you or did he just make it look like that’s what he was doing? Don’t you think it’s a little coincidental that the night after you escaped, in the middle of nowhere, he just happened to find you and bring you to a place where he could train you?”
“What are you saying, alien?”
“I want to show you something I found. A little video of Dib’s creator. Disgusting pig creature,” He muttered under his breath, sliding a video pad over to you.
You pressed play on the video, falling eerily silent and deathly still as Professor Membrane spoke, cheerily explaining how metamorphosis worked and how he planned to artificially recreate it. It became glaringly obvious, Zim had never created you; Professor Membrane had. You knew that voice all too well. Glaring at it with vehement hatred, you destroyed the video-pad with a slash of your claws, making Zim grin evilly.
It was true, he never did create you. While he had set up a trap for Dib in the woods, it had gone undiscovered, but that no longer mattered to the Irken for he had found something much better.
Zim made himself look small and weepy, pouting slightly for effect, “Dib even turned you against me. I know I’m not from this planet but I’m not here to destroy it, I only wanted to save it. Please… Come with me. I might not be able to cure you, but I can at least save you from Dib.”
“I won’t be used again,” You growled.
“Of course, I would never dream of it. If you come with me now, I will release you, or you can work with me to defeat Dib… if you want.”
You glowered, needing revenge more than you needed the very air itself. You nodded once, waiting for Zim to deactivate the nanobots, and walking to his side when you did. Meanwhile, Zim was planning a million uses for you in his head, happy that he was now one step closer to conquering Earth.
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rancoeur-the-unfortunate · 6 years ago
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Pills (Chapter 1)
(1443 words 😉)
Irkens are well known for their destruction. They are also well known for their conquerization of most other alien species they come into contact with.
These specific goals, however, were not achievable via just trust and training in their soldiers.
No, instead the control brains along with the Tallest had found a much better and more effective solution to keeping the Irkens in line. The answer was drugs.
Each Irken had their own special concoction of addictive painkillers, narcotics, and other varying medicines. These drugs were supplied in small pills verified in color. 12 in a box.
These boxes were shipped to each Irken throughout secret tunnels, tubes, and teleportation devices through their bases and buildings. The boxes were to be shipped to each Irken once every six months.
Now in order to remain in control of these many Irkens, all the Tallest would have to do is cut off supply for the drugs whenever someone seemed out of order.
This worked perfectly. Not only did the Irkens right themselves immediately but most of the time the withdrawal was so bad they never attempted to disobey again.
That didn't stop the Tallest from just cutting off the supply for no reason and laughing as their subjects cried in pain and terror.
One Irken in particular though, his supply was NEVER to be touched. Not even by the Tallest. This supply was to arrive perfectly on the dot and always contain all 12 pills. This Irken was named Zim.
One of the smallest Irkens ever hatched in history. An Irken currently attempting to take over a lowly planet called Earth.
Zim's pills were very special in that they contained much stronger drugs. Zim had always been a destructive Irken since he was a smeet. He could easily topple the Irken empire if he saw fit. He could cut the massive in bite-sized bits for his tiny, robot dog to consume. Heck had it not been for his undying worship, the Tallest would have run in fear at the mere sight of the frightful Irken.
Antipsychotics
Zim also found himself in the meanest of moods whether it be from his trash tech, his trash servant, or the trash world he lived on currently. He'd get angry and an angry Zim was almost as bad as a determined Zim. Not to mention his countless mood swings.
Antidepressants
Zim also forgets to eat and sleep on multiple occasions, sometimes for months. These were only included because it is required by Irken law.
Stimulants
And to top it all off, pain and stress relievers. These kept Zim from sustaining to much damage in his 'war' against humanity. Their main purpose, though, was to keep Zim from thinking clearly.
These and a bit more created the magenta pill Zim always found himself swallowing. Of course, Zim was completely unaware of the ingredients used, but that didn't matter.
Those pills had to be the only things the Tallest had given him that wasn't garbage. In fact, they were the best drugs the Irken Empire had to offer.
The Tallest were too scared to look for an alternative, not to mention Zim on withdrawal was something they did NOT want to see.
Now, these packages don't arrive like most others, just plopped on the porch, waiting to be opened. Instead, these packages were always teleported directly to his lab. They were slim and compact, making them easier to hide.
Such an event just happened actually. Zim grabbed the box from the tube and opened it. He smiled, seeing all 12 pills in their respective places. The box was white, but the inside was black with small slots for each pill.
Zim took one and quickly popped it. immediately feeling better than before.
He hid the box and went about his business destroying the Earth, enslaving humans, and whatnot. Unbeknownst to him, an eye was watching.
Dib stared wide-eyed at the screen before him.
What were those pills?
Why did Zim need them?
Was this part of his next evil plan?
Why were they magenta?
So many questions ran through his giant head, and he was going to answer them whether Zim liked it or not. Preferably the latter.
Dib was currently sitting in a dark room in Zim's lab. He had placed spy bugs everywhere so he could watch Zim's every move.
Now, in hindsight, it would have been a lot smarter and safer to just watch the cams from his room, but that didn't matter now.
The human searched through the screens, trying to find Zim. He found him in one of the testing laboratories, yelling at GIR, who was jumping around the room.
Dib smirked. This was his chance. He ran into the room where Zim had hidden his pills. He opened the box and took one of the pills out, he stashed it in his pocket. He replaced it with a sugar pill and put the box back. He didn't know why he had that pill, but it was oddly convenient that he did.
He climbed out of the base via a tunnel he dug in Zim's backyard. Which, funnily enough, had no defense whatsoever.
Dib ran home with excitement rushing through his veins.
Dashing up the stairs, Dib made his way to his computer and sat down in his chair. He laid the pill on his scanner.
"Computer, run a scan on this pill. What's in it?"
'Traced Medications
-Pain relievers
-Stress Relievers
-Stimulants
-Antidepressants
-Antipsychotics
-other unknown substances'
Dib stared dumbfounded. "Why would Zim be taking this?" He shook his head. "I need to figure out what these are for. Maybe I'll see once Zim gets to the sugar pill."
Back at Zim's base. Zim smiled as he reported to the Tallest.
"Greetings my Tallest! I am glad to announce that the shipment of my medication has been a successful one."
"That's good to hear, Zim. And you have taken them, right?" Tallest Red asked unsurely. It was obvious he did, but he wanted to be sure.
"Yes, my Tallest."
"Good, we're proud, of you Zim. Remember to take one every 2 earth weeks. Ok?" Tallest Purple reminded.
"Of course, my Tallest." Zim bowed slightly.
"That'll be all then."
Red then waved for one of the other Irkens to cut the transmission.
Zim couldn't help but laugh in delight.
He always loved talking to someone as high and mighty as the Tallest.
Zim made his way to a deep part of his base to get started on his next evil plan. He had school in the morning, after all.
Skool was uneventful aside from Dib's harsh glances his way, which wasn't too surprising. Zim felt like it was just another waste of time.
Lunch went by quickly well aside from Dib pestering him of course.
It was only after skool did something interesting happen.
Dib ran by Zim until he was in front of him and turned to face him.
"Taking drugs now, Zim?!"
"W-What?!"
Students started turning their heads towards the two.
"Don't play dumb, Zim! I found them in your house in a little white box." Dib pointed accusingly at the chartreuse alien in front of him.
Zim looked around nervously. Normally their banter never attracted the eyes of anyone but this was getting out of hand.
"I-it's my medication?" Zim tried.
"Medication for what Zim?! Your 'skin condition?!' or are you just a druggy?!"
Zim took a few steps back and Dib followed suit.
"Zim is no Druggy!" Zim shouted back, despite the beads of sweat dripping down his forehead.
He could hear it. People were whispering.
"Zim's a drug addict?"
"That explains a lot."
"Why would he need drugs?"
"Why is he so ugly?"
"What's going on?"
He was surrounded.
"Y-you have n no proof!" Zim screamed.
"Oh really?"
Dib then reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out the small pill from before.
"Gimme tha-" Zim paused. This would only confirm their suspicions. Zim didn't need that kind of attention.
"I mean... I've never seen that before in my life, Dib-worm!"
Dib laughed.
"But I thought it was your medication?!"
Zim could feel the world collapsing in on him. The circle of kids became tighter. Zim looked around himself, all eyes were on him. Their whispers became louder.
Zim screamed and bolted through the crowd, pushing any kids in his way aside. He continued screaming until he finally made it home.
Zim panted as he shut the door.
"Computer! Commence lockdown mode!"
'Ok'
The computer groaned before covering the entire outside in metal.
Zim made his way into the base where he hid his pills.
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ladyofdecember · 7 years ago
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ZADR Week - May 19th - Making up
I can't find the words to say, But they're overdue, I've traveled half the world to say, I belong to you
I Belong To You - Muse
...
They were hanging out, spending the sunday at Dib's house for once, or rather, his former house. Gaz was away for the week at a gaming convention leaving the house vacant. And so, Dib had convinced Zim to spend at least the day over there rather than at the base like usual. Their father, having grown very busy with his experiments over the last year, would not be returning back home until September, about four months away. It wasn't odd to Dib anymore that their father seemed to take no interest in them, leaving them to fend for themselves. After all, they were both nearly grown, him being nineteen and Gaz already seventeen. What did it matter?
The most amazing thing about it all had been Dib's ability to actually convince Zim to come over. After their fight-not-fight that they'd had, the human had been sure the alien wouldn't be talking to him for quite some time. He had given him space, as much as possible, for about a day or so until he couldn't take being apart from him any longer. He'd always had that problem with Zim, never being able to stay away for very long. He knew what it meant, it meant love. Dib Membrane loved a tiny, green alien named Zim. Attachment was dangerous and obsession even more and he'd spent who knew how many years trying to pretend like this wasn't exactly what was going on between them. It had been a long time now since he'd first met the alien in 4th grade. It was time to stop pretending and start getting on with it all.
So when Dib had pounded on the alien's door, their door, early that morning and begged him to come back to his father's house with him, he'd been surprised that the alien concurred with argument. It seemed, the alien had missed him just as much, though again it had only been two days.
He and Zim were now watching TV, some paranormal ghost show on the sci-fi channel and Dib was poking fun at their dumb scare tactics, as per usual. Zim seemed distracted however and the human knew it was due to the impending storms heading their way.
He'd made sure to check the weather once they headed over, knowing the irken was very neurotic about things like that. He didn't blame him, not being from earth, the loud noises of the thunder and flashes of lightning probably seemed baffling and scary like they did to a small human child. In addition, there was the nasty side effect of the raindrops burning his delicate skin. That would make anyone fearful and want to stay away.
“Zim... you okay?” He asked gently, picking up his laptop from the coffee table. The alien seemed to be back to normal, no longer angry or upset with him but he still wasn't convinced.
The alien puffed out his chest in faux machismo. “Of course! Why wouldn't Zim be okay? Zim is... simply bored by your television decisions.” Okay, so he was scared of the storms.
Dib nodded, deciding not to push it. “Uh-huh. Well, I'm gonna order a pizza for us, want anything in particular?” He began pulling up the pizza website on his computer, trying to hide his smirk.
The alien twitched, his eyes scrutinizing the man. “Zim can't eat that filth! Have you the brain worms?”
“I thought anything baked was okay? Doesn't the water just evaporate enough for you to be able to ingest it?”
Zim shrugged, not caring either way and really just wanting to argue. He snatched the remote before Dib could say anything and began switching channels rapidly.
The man sighed in irritation. “Could you just pick something already? Geez.”
“Shut up, Din-Din! Zim is in control now. Zim will choose what we watch.”
“Alright, well I ordered us both a medium each.” He said putting the computer away and snatching the remote back.
A struggle ensued, ending with Dib on top of the alien and pushing him down into the sofa cushions, smirking triumphantly. “So... it seems I've won.”
The irken blushed, or what was the equivalent of a blush anyway. He'd learned to read the alien's facial features well by this point. Irkens were very expressive in their movements, if you knew what to look for.
“Perhaps... or perhaps I let you win.” Zim challenged, staring up at his friend and matching the smirk.
Dib's breath caught in his throat as he became lost in the alien's eyes, his red orbs showing for once, his contacts sitting nearby along with his wig on the table. They were alone after all, no need for extra security here. He leaned in to press his lips to the alien's own when suddenly, a lightning bolt sounded, striking nearby and cutting the power for the entire house.
Zim screeched in terror as the television cut out, leaving them in darkness. Dib sat up to peer out of the curtain covering the living room window. Sure enough, it had begun raining and almost all of their block seemed to be out. At least, he imagined so, it was hard to tell during the day if people's lights were out.
“We're... we're sitting ducks! We're DOOMED!” The irken began ranting from his place on the couch as he sat hugging his knees.
The human glanced back at him, smirking at how cute he was being. “It's fine, Zim. Just the power. I'm sure it'll be back on soon.”
He sat back down next to him and reached for his phone for some light. It wasn't completely black as the sun was still up, though it was obscured from the dark clouds. “It's okay. And hey... food'll be here soon.”
He tried smiling at the irken who just began vibrating in fear like some sort of cat. Placing a gentle arm around the smaller one, he brought him closer up against his body to comfort him. It must have worked as the irken stopped his shaking and just sort of melted against him.
Dib felt his heart feel like it grew double in size. He felt... right, just sitting here cuddling with the alien. He slowly stroked Zim's arm in comfort up and down, up and down, pleased at the way the alien was quiet for once and seemed to be contently leaning up against him.
“Din-Din?” He asked quietly, not looking up at the man as they sat waiting in the quiet darkness.
“Yeah, Zim?”
“Zim thinks it is a good thing that his leaders tricked him. Otherwise... Zim would never have met the Dib-thing.”
He pulled a face at the familiar insult but shrugged it off as one of the less biting nicknames he'd been given over the years. After all, the alien was trying to use it in an affectionate manner. He smiled, pushing his face into the top of his head, chuckling at the way his antennae brushed against his cheek. “Me too.”
Zim glanced up at him then, his eyes narrowing at his expression as if trying to determine if he were messing with him or being serious. When it became clear he was very, very serious, the irken nodded, definitively and leaned back against him.
Dib however, placed a finger under Zim's chin to guide him to look back up at him. When he did, he leaned down and kissed him soundly on the lips, or the area of where lips would be on a person.
Zim smiled into the kiss, no longer concerned about the dark or the thunder or the lack of good TV.
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snappedsky · 5 years ago
Text
Fanatics 71
The kids return to Skool, and it's an eventful first day back. Previous! Next!
--
New Year, Same Sh!t
           “I cannot believe you all went to Irk without me!”
           Zim, Dib, Gaz, Pepito, and Squee glare exhaustedly at Kat- Tak’s human disguise- as she blocks the entrance to the Skool. She glares right back, much more angrily.
           “Give us a break, Tak,” Zim snaps as he shoves past her. “We’ve barely been home for a week and now we gotta go back to Skool.”            “You didn’t even tell me you were leaving!” she barks as she follows them through the busy halls. “I only found out because of Maddie. I thought we were, you know, friends.”
           “You’re right,” Squee says, “we are friends. And we should’ve at least said goodbye. We’re sorry.”
           Kat’s glare withers ever so slightly and she huffs. “Fine. So, what’s got you all so tense?”
           “A week ago we found out the Irken Empire sent assassins after us,” Dib replies, “we had no idea. If it wasn’t for Squee’s Night Terrors, they probably would’ve wiped us all out.”            “Are they Irken Bounty Hunters?” Kat asks.
           “I don’t think so,” Zim replies, “according to the Night Terrors, they were too easy to kill. Probably just academy-trained assassins.”
           “Kio’s looking into it,” Squee explains, “but we’re not sure how to handle this. Obviously we can’t just let assassins try to kill us, which is why the Night Terrors are keeping watch. But soon the Tallest will figure out the assassins failed and send stronger opponents.”
           “Well, you should’ve expected this,” Kat points out, “starting a war with the Irken Empire.”            “We saved them first,” Gaz argues, “it’s not our fault they’re sore losers.”            “And now we have to go to Skool like nothing happened,” Pepito groans.
           “Keep your heads up, team,” Zim orders, “we’re back to our normal life and we will not let the Armada ruin it.”            The others reply with uncertainty.
           “I’ll see you guys at lunch,” Gaz grunts before splitting off. The others go upstairs to their lockers.
           After everyone’s gathered their stuff, they head to homeroom at the sound of the bell. Zim and the others cluster together in desks near the window, along with Maddie. The other students quickly pick their desks as their teacher, Miss Sweeties, stands at the front of the room.
           “Welcome back to Skool, everyone,” she chimes, “and a very special welcome back to Zim, Dib, Pepito, and Squee, who, due to ‘family issues’, were unable to attend Skool last year.”
         “You guys completely skipped 11th grade,” Zita points out, “how did you not get held back?”            “Um my guardian has a…‘rapport’ with the principle,” Squee replies while Zim, Dib, and Pepito chuckle knowingly.          
            After morning announcements are played over the intercom, the students leave for their classes. Maddie and Tak wave to the boys as they split off.
           “It’s too bad we got stuck in the lower tier classes,” Dib comments, “it’ll be a smear on my record.”            “Yeah, but at least we’re all in the same classes this year,” Pepito points out.
          They arrive at their classroom and quickly pick their desks, again together near the windows. Standing behind the teacher’s desk is a younger man, pale and blond with fidgeting hands. He waits until everyone’s seated before speaking.
           “G-good morning, students,” he says in a cracking voice. “I-I am your teacher, Mr. Tense. I will be teaching you maths and sciences.”            “Who is this guy?” Pepito whispers.
           “Don’t know. I’ve never had him,” Dib replies.
           “B-because we’ll be spending a-a lot of time together, I’d like to start off by going around the room and h-hearing something about everyone,” Mr. Tense declares.
           “Oh, god,” Squee groans, rubbing his forehead.
           “We’ll start on this side of the room,” he says, pointing at Zim. “Please stand up and state your name and-and a fact about yourself.”
           Zim stands up dutifully. “I am Zim and I will rule you all! But don’t worry, I’ll be a benevolent leader.”
           “Uh o-okay, thank you, Zim,” Mr. Tense says as Zim sits back down and Pepito stands up.
           “I’m Pepito, and I’m gonna be a rock star,” he says.
           “Oh, a musician!” Mr. Tense smiles, “how nice.”
           Pepito smiles as he sits down and the student behind him goes next, a cheerleader who goes on for a few minutes about how she loves manicures. As they continue down the row, Squee digs his hand into his forehead, dreading his turn.
           Finally it’s the next row’s turn, and Dib starts off. “I’m Dib, the world’s greatest paranormal investigator.”
           “And crazy person,” one of the students whispers loudly and the others giggle. But Dib ignores them as he sits back down, smiling proudly.
           Squee stifles a heavy sigh as he stands up, squeezing Shmee inside his bag. “Uh I-I’m Squee a-and-.”
           “What kind of a name is that?” another student sneers.
           Squee takes a deep breath before continuing. “And I like to write.”
           As he sits back down, Pepito shoots him a thumbs-up and he smiles gratefully.
           The introductions continue throughout the classroom. A couple of students Zim and the others already know, like Willy, Poonchy, Carl, or Jessica; but many they’ve never met before. Not that anyone pays close attention to the introductions anyway.
            Once everyone’s finished, Mr. Tense clears his throat. “I-it is wonderful to meet you all. I hope this will be a prosperous last year of High Skool for you all. Now then, let’s just dive right into math. Open you textbooks, please.”
           The next hour is spent learning math. Mr. Tense is very non-inclusive and only reads the lesson directly from the textbook very stiltedly, or writes on the board. Which means the students are free to pay no attention.
           Zim scrolls through his phone- which now, thanks to Kio, is connected to galactic wide news- and tries to find news on assassins coming to Earth. Dib is busy reading one of his new books on the supernatural; he missed out on a lot being in space. Determined to make original songs this year, Pepito is trying to write song lyrics. And Squee just stares through the window, somewhat absentmindedly, but his eyes still scan for the slightest threat.
           Everyone is quite surprised when a hole is smashed through the ceiling and Mr. Fuck, with smeared make-up, torn clothes, and gashes and cuts, slams into the floor at the front of the classroom.
           Screaming, the students all leap out of the desks while Mr. Tense nearly jumps out of his skin.
           “Eff!” Squee exclaims.
           Eff coughs as he sits up, dry wall dust and debris still falling around him. He glances at Squee and smiles and waves.
           “Oh, hey, Little Boss. Don’t worry, the situation is completely under contro-.” He stops as he reaches for his hat and realizes it’s not there. “That asshole has my hat!”            With that, he jumps up and disappears back through the hole onto the roof.
           “O-okay,” Mr. Tense stammers, “do-don’t worry, kids. J-just exit into the hallway in an orderly fashion.”            Nobody listens to him as the students race out of the classroom, except for Zim, Dib, Pepito, and Squee who look up through the hole.
           “K-kids, we all need to leave,” Mr. Tense says to them and waves towards the door, but they ignore them.
           They can hear shouting: the Night Terrors cursing and voices speaking in Irken. They spot an Irken fly past the hole and Reverend Meat leap after them.
           “Assassins?” Pepito questions.
           “No,” Zim growls, immediately recognizing the unique armor the Irken was wearing. “Irken Bounty Hunters.”            “They’re gonna need help,” he declares, “Irken Bounty Hunters are specially trained killers and they always travel in groups. Do you all have your weapons?”
           “Yes,” Squee nods as he draws his knives from his bag, along with Shmee.
           “Me too,” Dib replies, rolling down the sleeve of his coat to reveal his bracelet.
           “Got my weapons right here,” Pepito says as he clenches his fists and they start glowing black.
           “Good,” Zim grunts as he extends his spider legs and grabs his laser guns.
           “You guys go on ahead,” Dib says, “I’m gonna check on Gaz. We’ll catch up.”            “Alright,” Zim nods as two of his spider legs reach up for the hole while Squee and Pepito grab the other two.
           “Uhm,” Mr. Tense croaks, speechless as they disappear through the hole and Dib races past him into the hall.
           The rooftop is a warzone. The Night Terrors are covered in injures and torn clothes but continue to hold their own against the seemingly five unstoppable Irkens. Their heavy armor has been cracked and damaged and their laser rifles are scattered in pieces. But they still have their PAKs and with their sharp spider leg appendages swinging around, the Night Terrors can’t get close.
           “Pick a target,” Zim orders.
           “I’ll help Eff,” Squee declares as he races off to help the Doughboy wrestling to keep a spider leg from impaling him.
           “I’ll get Sickness,” Pepito says and hurries to her as she dodges an Irken’s striking attacks.
           Zim spots Reverend Meat, struggling to hold off two Irkens. He grins and leaps forward on his spider legs, flying right for one of them. “Mine!”
           Back in the Skool, none of the other classes are aware of the danger yet. Ms. Bitters is still busy teaching Gaz’s class history. She barely pays attention, doodling in the margins of her notebook.
           The classroom slams open, startling everyone, and Dib races in. “Gaz!”            “Dib?” she questions.
           “Oh, fer-,” Ms. Bitters scoffs, “I thought not having you as a student meant I wouldn’t have to deal with your interruptions.”            Dib ignores her as he hurries to Gaz’s desk. “You okay?”
           “Yeah,” she replies incredulously. “What’s going on-?”            Before he can answer, Psycho Doughboy slams into the window outside, crying out as he falls to the ground.
           All the students scream with surprise as they leap out of their desks, except for Dib and Gaz who just stare outside.
           “You got your hammer?” Dib asks.
           “No, but I have a bat in my locker,” Gaz replies.
           “Get it,” he orders, “and meet us outside.”
           Without another word, Gaz races off while Dib opens the window and climbs out. He lands beside D-boy just as he’s starting to sit up, rubbing his face, and they both look up.
           An Irken leaps off the roof and plummets towards them, spider legs pointed down. Dib activates his bracelet, transforming it to his power glove, and readies a blast.
           Meanwhile, as Gaz races to her locker, an announcement plays over the intercom.
           “Attention, the Skool is under a state of emergency. Please evacuate to the street in a calm and orderly fashion.”            In the other grade 12 classroom, Kat perks up while her classmates chatter curiously amongst themselves.
           “Wonder what’s going on,” Maddie mutters as the teacher starts ushering everyone out. Kat ignores them and looks outside, activating her cybernetic eye. Immediately seeing the presence of five unknown Irkens, she growls.
           The tide of battle really turns thanks to the Battalion. The Irken Bounty Hunters are now outnumbered, having to split their attention between one of the Night Terrors and one of the kids. But they still hold their own despite the odds, really showing their Irken strength and ingenuity.
           Squee, Eff, and Shmee surround an Irken, his spider legs raised defensively. Squee goes in first with his rocket wheelies. As soon as he’s disappeared from sight, Eff and Shmee charge in.
           The Irken blocks them with his spider legs while a buzz saw like weapon pops out of his PAK, protecting his head as he correctly predicts that Squee would strike from behind. He stops just before he can connect with the spinning blade but rebounds quickly, ducking down and knocking his leg into the Irken’s ankle, tripping him.
           The Irken reacts quickly, blocking his head from hitting the roof and thrusting a spider leg at Squee. He dodges with ease by zipping around to his other end and charging in, knives up. Scowling, the Irken jabs all four of his spider legs towards him. Squee waits until the very last second before speeding backwards out of harm’s way, while Eff appears by the Irken’s head and swinging knives of his own.
           Gasping, the Irken barely catches Eff’s hands with his own, keeping the blades inches from his face. Eff smirks and the Irken realizes he’s been duped as Shmee leaps off Eff’s head and pile drives the Irken’s stomach, smashing him through the roof.
           Squee and Eff peek through the hole just as Shmee jumps back out, tossing the unconscious alien at Squee’s feet. They all smile victoriously at each other.
         Meanwhile, another Irken is struggling to survive against Sickness and Pepito. She can’t match Sickness’s speed, so she keeps her spider legs close, not allowing her to strike. But she doesn’t even have time to focus on Sickness as she tries to dodge Pepito’s blasts.
           He fires relentlessly, barely giving her time to think and move. Because of her agility, each one only grazes her, but one slip up and he’ll reduce her to dust.
           She growls, getting sick of this, and withdraws her spider legs. But before her opponents can react, a small of pair of rocket thrusters extend from the bottom of her PAK and she blasts into the sky. Once she’s a few feet high, two of her spider legs extend again and she points them down, preparing to fire lasers.
           Pepito smirks and his wings expand from his back, bursting through his shirt. Before the bounty hunter can fire her lasers, he flies up to her, hands glowing black. She ceases her laser power-up and instead uses her spider legs to block him. Locked in a parry, they glare at each other.
           Sickness watches them for a second before crouching, tensing her leg muscles, and jumping into the air, cracking the ground beneath her. She flies up behind the Irken, who is unable to react, held in place by Pepito. Sickness lifts her leg and slams it onto the Irken’s head, sending her plummeting back down and through the roof of the Skool.
           Pepito and Sickness land on either side of the hole and look in. The Irken is blacked out unceremoniously on top of some desks. Smirking, Pepito shoots Sickness a thumbs-up, and she good-naturedly rolls her eyes.
           On the ground, Dib and D-boy are having trouble getting a hit in against their opponent. The bounty hunter keeps them at bay with his spider legs while also dodging the blasts from Dib’s power glove.
           The Irken lunges his spider legs at them, two for each. D-boy blocks his two with his giant mallet while Dib catches one with his glove and barely dodges the other; he winces as it slices a bit through his side.
           The Irken tries to retract his appendages but Dib keeps good grip on one as he charges a blast. He destroys the spider leg and the bounty hunter stumbles back in pain. Scowling angrily, he lunges his last three right for Dib, who lifts his arms in a feeble attempt to block.
           D-boy flips in and smashes the legs out of the way with his mallet. The Irken goes in for another attack when his antennae twitch and he looks back just in time to see Gaz swinging her bat. He leaps out of the way and she smashes the ground where he was standing.
           Snarling, the Irken lunges his spider legs at her. Again, D-boy flips in and helps Gaz block them. Before the bounty hunter can retract them, his antennae twitch again and he looks over to see Dib charging up a blast.
           The Irken tries to retreat but finds himself stuck in place. He looks in despair at D-boy as he smirks and holds tight to his spider legs.
           Dib fires his blast, reducing the Irken to dust and leaving behind nothing but his lifeless spider legs. D-boy lets them drop to the ground while Dib lowers his hand, sighing with relief.
           Back on the roof, Zim and Reverend Meat have their hands full with the last two Irken Bounty Hunters. They stand back to back, repelling their opponents’ attacks with barely any chance to throw their own.
           Zim’s spider legs repeatedly clash with the other Irken’s. Zim lifts his laser guns and fires at her. She leaps backwards, dodging the lasers and fires some of her own from her spider legs. Zim creates a force field with his, blocking them.
           Behind him, Reverend Meat can’t get close to his Irken opponent. He keeps his spider legs close and fires lasers to keep the monstrously strong meat reverend at bay. Reverend Meat is forced to stay on the defensive and dodge, lest he get filled with laser holes.
           He spots Zim with his force field and gets an idea. Keeping his eye on his opponent, he reaches around and grabs Zim’s head, picking him. Zim exclaims with shock as Reverend Meat holds him out, using him like a shield.
           “He-what are yo-release Zim immediately!” he snaps.
           “Just roll with it,” Reverend Meat orders, “and keep your shield up.”            Zim does so and blocks laser blasts from both Irkens. With his other hand, Reverend Meat smashes another hole into the roof and breaks off a large chunk, throwing it at the bounty hunters. The Irkens are taken aback but easily blow the chunk to pieces, only to find Reverend Meat and Zim have disappeared.
           They immediately look at the new hole in the roof and begin firing their lasers downwards. Then their antennae twitch just as Zim and Reverend Meat smash through the roof, jumping up right behind them.
           Reverend Meat grabs the Irkens’ PAKs, smirking as he crushes them to pieces with his large hands. They both shudder and collapse to the ground on their knees. Zim grins as they look back and lifts his laser guns to finish them off, but freezes when he spots one of Irken’s removing her glove. He immediately recognizes the device on her wrist and flinches back.
           “She’s gonna self-destruct!” he shouts.
           “What!” Reverend Meat exclaims.
           But before she can activate the device, a plasma beam fires from the side through her arm, completely destroying the bomb. Everyone looks to the left as two more beams are fired through the bounty hunters’ heads, and Tak approaches, lowering her cyborg arm.
           “I didn’t need your help y’know,” Zim grunts.
           “Yeah, yeah,” she sniffs.
           Everyone finishes their fights around the same time and look around to check on the others. As D-boy leaps back onto the roof with Dib and Gaz, they quickly realize they’ve won and smile victoriously.
           “Oh, hey, Tak,” Pepito says as they gather together. “Where’d you come from?”
           “I’m not gonna let you leave me out of the fun again,” she replies.
           “Hey, check it out,” Squee says, pointing to the main road. All of the students and teachers are gathered there as a couple police cars arrive. The kids settle on the edge of the building and watch as the police attempt to interview the rattled and excited students. Nobody’s noticed them on the roof yet.
           “Well, the Skool was evacuated and we caused a lot of property damage,” Dib summarizes, “and it’s not even lunch yet.”
           “Yup. Not bad for our first day back,” Pepito comments.
           “If this is an omen to how the rest of the year is gonna be, I might just drop out,” Squee grunts, resting his chin in his hand.
           “We will not be defeated,” Zim declares, “no matter how many assassins come after us, or whatever else, this year will not beat us.”
           The Night Terrors sigh comfortably as they sit in between the kids.
           “Besides, you got us,” Eff smirks, patting Squee’s head.
           “Yeah, aren’t you lucky,” Reverend Meat sighs and leans against a grumbling Zim.
           “And me,” Tak adds, “whether you like it or not.”
           “I hate to say it, but…we can use all the help we can get,” Dib says.
           “Uh oh,” Gaz grunts, “we better move. I think one of the cops spotted us.”            “Yup,” Pepito agrees as they retreat farther onto the roof. “Wanna just ditch for the rest of the day?”
           “Yeah, let’s go to my house,” Zim declares.
           With the help of the Night Terrors, the two groups jump off the Skool and disappear through the back field, never to be found by their classmates or teachers until they return for classes the next day.
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rancoeur-the-unfortunate · 6 years ago
Text
Pills (Chapter 8)
(1511 words!)
Zim stood in front of his main screen. His Tallest were calling him, no doubt to congratulate him. When the two Tall Irkens appeared on screen their eyes went from calm to horror.
"ZIM?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Tallest Purple shouted.
Zim stood in shock.
"W-what do you m mean my Tallest?"
"Look. At. Yourself. Right. Now." Tallest Red looked furious.
Zim felt his kegs shake as he grabbed a mirror off his counter to look at himself only to drop it and have it shatter on the floor.
Zim's body was shaking like a leaf. His mind could barely comprehend on what it just saw.
His eyes, no longer their brilliant magenta and were now pitch black. While his skin went from chartreuse to pale white.
He fell to his knees and threw up in front of his Tallest. His vomit now a gooey pink. Was that his blood?
Tears formed in his eyes and he looked up to see the now blank stares of his leaders.
"You haven't been taking your medication. Have you Zim?" Red's voice was so cold Zim felt a shiver run a mile up his spine.
"Y yes I have. I swear on my squeedlyspooch!"
He looked up at them hopelessly.
"LAIR!" Shouts Purple making Zim feel so much worse.
"You failed your mission! You are sick and useless! Do not call us ever again!" He screamed.
Zim felt his insides knot up.
"No! Wait! Please my Tallest! Help me!"
But it was too late the transmission had cut out. Leaving Zim in the dark room to puke up his guts until he was nothing but a crying wretch.
Zim shot up with a start, tears in his eyes as he looked at his surroundings.
He was in his base in front of his main screen, sitting in his chair.
He looked at his hands.
Yeah still green.
He pulled out one eye to inspect.
Yup still magenta.
Ok ok just a bad dream then.
Wait... dream?
Did just... dream?
No that was impossible.
Irkens haven't dreampt sence... NOBODY KNOWS.
He was as confused as he was scared.
Not only did he dream he dream but he dare dream ON THE JOB.
He slapped himself.
He needed to keep his head together if he were to ever find out what Dib had done in his base. He went back to typing on his keyboard trying to if the motion sensors picked anything up.
BINGO!
Zim watched as his base drew several paths of Dibs human foot steps.
'Seems like he's been in here more then I thought. How though?'
He set his computer to filter out all trails that didn't form on that particular day.
The footsteps started near the back of the house in a storage unit.
Had Dib dug his way through the backyard.
Oh mighty Tallest he felt like slamming his head into something hard, why hadn't Zim thought of arming that area? No wonder Dib got inside so easily.
He followed the footsteps til... he spooch dropped. He starred with the widest eyes achieveable. The footsteps lead to a wall then disappeared.
The wall that opened to the secret room.
Dib... had gone in.
Zim felt his legs buckle as he fell to his knees.
This was his fault. He shouldn't have told Dib all those things about his medication.
WHAT WAS HE THINKING?! Dib had tampered with his medication some how and Zim was determined to find out.
Zim stood and opened the secret door and stepped inside.
He held the box in his hands, close to his chest. He took it to his lab and opened it. The pills, all of them in their exact places.
Then a though crossed Zim's mind.
That pill. The one Dib showed the crowd. That was a real one. So he must have replaced it with a replica as to not raise suspicion.
Dib must have replaced all of them then. That must have been why Zim had been behaving so strange lately.
He needed to speak to his Tallest. But the closer he got to the call button the more self conscious he felt.
"What if what happened in my dream happens again?"
But before he could contemplate anymore GIR burst through the door.
"I'M HOME MASTA AND I WANTS A HUG!!!"
Zim, not wanting to even touch said robot moved out of the way. Only for GIR to hit the call button.
The screen fuzzed up then the almighty appeared looking bored as ever.
"What is now Zim?"
"Um... m my Tallest..." He needed to tell them. But what if what happened in his dream happened again?
"Nothing, must have it the button on accident sorry wonthappenagainmyTallest BYYYYYE!!" He cut the call and let out a sigh of relief.
"Hey masta?"
"What is it GIR?"
"I love you!" GIR jumped up again, this time catching Zim in the hug.
Zim tried to struggle but GIR was too strong.
"Get off me GIR!"
"Not till you say it back."
Zim rolled his eyes.
"Yeah yeah sure." And begrudgingly patted the robot on the shoulder.
The robot looked up at him with wide eyes, got off, and backed away. He thrn ran out of the room screaming.
"That was quicker than usual." Zim shrugged it off and got back to work.
"If Dib has my pills I'll simply had to get them back."
Then his thoughts went to Keef. He had managed to find a weakness in his bullies and targeted it against them. Maybe this boy found a weakness on Dib.
"Yes yes this could work." Zim giggled to himself, a little too tired for full-fledged maniacal laughter.
Zim waited till Monday to ask Keef.
The two were sitting at lunch together. Keef eating his ketchup and rice, while Zim skipped lunch. Made him sick.
"So uh Keef..."
"Yeah buddy?"
"Just how many other weakness have you learned from these bullies."
"Ooooh LOTS! See Zita over there?" He pointed to said child.
"Turns out she's reeeeaaally sensitive about her false eyelashes. Or the Letter M is terrified of spiders. Or-"
"Alright alright, I get it. You seem to know just about everyone's weakness."
"Just about." Keef beamed.
"What about... Dib."
"Oh Dib pfft he's easy."
"How so?"
"Well it's simple really. Guys got so many flaws he makes Willy look like Katy Perry."
Zim had no idea who that was.
"Elaborate."
"Personally I've never really been bullied by the guy but if he ever did I'm prepared.
You start with his insanity. Usually gets him flustered and distracted constantly trying to defend himself. Then his looks. That's when he stops paying attention just looking at himself trying to spot his flaw, clothes are a good choice but hair and body don't go with out their charms.
Then just for sport, his head. We all know how he gets about that." Keef giggled to himself then went serious.
"And finally his intentions. What ever he's doing it either involves you, the paranormal, or something no one cares about to get peoples attention. Qeustioning that and making fun of it usually get him so mad he can't think straight. Thus get me or us enough time to get away." Keef leaned back a bit arms crossed a little proud of himself.
Zim sat with his jaw dropped.
"Oh might Tallest, KEEF YOU'RE A GENUIS!!!" Zim couldn't believe it, it was so obvious.
He grabbed Keef and hugged him tightly. Before he realized what he had just done. He back away eyes wide.
"Um... th thanks."
Keef just smiled at him.
"No problem buddy. Let me know if he ever bothers you."
Zim nodded and keot his distance.
Keef on the other hand was exploding with joy on the inside.
Dib and Gaz sat in their usual spot across the cafeteria.
Dib couldn't here what they were saying, only "Oh might Tallest, KEEF YOU'RE A GENUIS!!!" and saw Zim HUG Keef. That really made his blood BOIL.
He crushed his milk carton in his palm.
Gaz hearing this, looked up from her game then to her seething brother about to blow a fuse.
"Who does he think he is?! That's MY enemy he's hugging!" Dib whisper yelled. He was shacking.
Throughout the whole time they knew eachother Gaz had not once ever seen Dib so pissed off before.
"Dude the hecks your problem?"
"They are!" Dib pointed at the two boys.
"They are the bane of my existence and just seeing the two of them together makes me want to to..." Dib sighed and took a deep breath.
"No, I'll think of something. I don't need to rage over a stupid hug."
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous."
Dib glared at her.
"Well it's a good thing you know better huh?"
"Jesus Dib calm down."
"I AM calm!" Dib's voice cracked.
Gaz rolled her eyes and went back to her game while her brother went to plain his attack on Zim.
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