#I LITERALLY HV SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM ITS INSANE

[retrospectislame]

desert duo is my roman empire

[calumhoodgoss]

i'll start with a disclosure that i'm not a cal girly, aka i don't have emotional reactions to his partners like i might with my fave(s)... i never thought nia was that bad when it came to relationship "hinting" or "shady lyrics" like other anon suggested. i would say that without them being photographed together, you wouldn't have known who she was talking about (they were so lowkey that people on this site would argue with you that they were never a thing!!!), unlike brandy's very specific comments over time (australian, nz sports jersey, the star clothing). nia and cal were both into the poetic/artsy side of things if they did mention relationships or post lyrics, whereas brandy wanted to straight up tell the whole world and brag. the 180 that happened with the breakup was so so so weird to me, "@ my boyfriend's fans, look at me, i'm dating your celebrity, like my pics, listen to my music" to suddenly "please don't ask about my personal life" was insane and nia didn't do anything like that. HV as a band had a genuine business relationship to the SOS, being signed to their sub-label and touring together, that was a natural overlap of fandoms, fight me on this.

it ends the same way however, you could compare brandy's post-breakup posts to what nia said via many ig stories from 2018-2021 in conversations/ q&a's with her followers, where they both talked about being torn down by other's fans who didn't like them or their music, it was essentially identical situations, i think they're allowed to talk about that! nia often frames it under the context of the overall music industry, touring with male bands, that she dated at least one other band member (earlier in the social media timeline, before the rebrand as HV) like it's never all about cal...

sorry, i think there are 5sos stans who need to let their hate for nia go. brandy was "the worst" in terms of overall privacy, imo. i'm surprised calum tagged her in as many posts as he did, and allowed her constant posting from his house.

thank you so much for this!! this was so eloquent and completely agree with everything you said

nia's attitude towards social media and her relationship with cal (whilst together) could not have been nore polar opposite to brandy's attitude. they handled things completely differently in regards to privacy and fan interactions and it shocks me that people would even hate on nia?? granted i didnt follow the relationship so don't know the full lore, but hate just seems so uncalled-for. my whole quam with brandy is that she very intentionally commodified their relationship and then turned around and pointed her finger at us. like girl literally huh???

honestly me too. im shocked she made as much public as she did when its so obvious cals not a public person. whether he said its fine or not, i feel like that respect for privacy should be somewhat inherent. like she could of just posted him on her priv story for friends and family to see. there was literally no need for all that to be shared with us

granted i do miss seeing pics of him lol she's the only one that fed us (proves the point even more that her digital activity is the only thing out of line with his effort for privacy lollll)

[bluewinnerangel]

whenever I think about louis and zayn's friendship I always remember my own friend (obvs idk too many details abt their friendship but from what I do know yk?) we were friends for 8years before everything fell apart, it was really complicated the way things went down and the worst thing was that it wasn't exactly our faults that everything happened the way it did, altho it was our faults that the giant ocean between us remained if not increased in size

we were so prideful, im confident it was one of the reasons that made it so hard for us to even speak abt it and even now 3 years later, we've only talked a couple times bc of work and running into each other thru other mutual friends

looking back on it there are some things I wish we didnt say to each other, I miss her deeply and she was always such a dear friend but the chasm between us feels so very big and so very deep and whilst I dont regret how everything went down I do still miss her and talking to her sometimes - its like these two very conflicting parts of me

i started thinking abt all this because shes getting married nxt yr and i (surprisingly) got an invite and im so incredibly grateful to have but i always imagined that i'd be her maid of honour yk? that I'd be one of the ppl designing these invites with her and panicking abt which flowers to get and telling her she looked beautiful in every dress she tired on, it feels so weird right now to be sitting here with her invite to the left of me as I type this, because we were that close and my throat is already closing up just thinking abt being there - it also reminds me of that one moment when an interviewer asked louis and zayn who their best man was gonna be and louis immediately looked at zayn - like that used to be me and her

i will say tho these invites make me very emotional because 5years ago when she had been with her now fiancee, less than half year we joked abt a wedding and we lowkey planned a half assed one, and the invites match the colour scheme (lavender and white and yellow I swear it looks nice i'd send a photo but it wont let me send the ask w/ one) and that could just be bc she liked it like we choose that together but im scared that there are gonna be sunflowers and gardenia's at the wedding I think i'll actually burst into tears if there are bc those were my idea and like i think it would look lovely!! and im defs not one of those 'i was saving that for my wedding!' or whatever it'd be lovely it'd just make me very emotional bc I literally remember the moment i suggested them and the way she looked so suspicious of it and I had to show her and its ingrained in my mind that memory - this is one of the friendships that quite literally shaped me, i've know her since i was 16 (so literally same as louis and zayn)

it just made me wonder if zayn will be invited to louis's wedding yk? and if he'll go thru the same emotions im going thru rn bc it feels like part of my heart is gone yet I feel this insane and deep happiness for her and how far shes come and whilst I've been watching from afar for so long i probably dont even know her anymore it still feels so weird to be going as smth other than next to her and i'll probably be sat at that table of old friends/ppl she hasnt seen in a while and it feels weird, very weird

im sorry for sending u this so randomly, u can defs 100 ignore it, bc its sooo damn long but i remembered ur zayn/louis post that nearly was and just had some thoughts - not that u ever hv to drop it or anything!! no pressure darling

Hey sorry I missed this ask when you sent this but I've read and digested it this morning and I just wanna say thanks for sharing, this is actually very relatable and made me tear up a little. I'm thinking of my 16yo self with my highschool BFF at the time with a friendship that didn't make it out of hs, my ex, very good friends for years that just drifted off once they got a partner, people I talked to every day for years and then not at all, people that moved away, the one that got away, or even people that just were completely toxic. It's different when they're still kinda in your life a little bit but at a distance because you can't really let it be the way it was I guess, dealing with that dynamic shift can really just fuck with your perception of those memories you have with them, but my mindset (in the end) is always that I'm grateful for the time we had, even if it ended horribly or they hurt me or I hurt them or just stopped caring about them for whatever reason, and you know still I'm just fond of the way they "enriched" my life? Idk how else to put it. And even when our relationship was nothing but positive but we still drifted apart for whatever reason I almost never have a need to try and pull them back into it either like I'm just.. grateful they were there at some point. And I'm content with that. For the time we had. Whatever happened, those good (or not even but.. granting life experience I guess let's put it that way) memories are still there. Same for people that are currently in my life, I want them here and I'm so so grateful that they wanna be here that they wanna share a bit of them with me but that's just.. it. Like I don't expect them to stay and this sounds horrible I'm also just not trying to make em stay? I'm just kinda like if you're along for my ride and I'm along for yours, good, if this choochoo mess uncouples detaches goes off to different stations then it was fun while it lasted. I'm not saying it's not a terrifying thought to part ways with for instance my partner for a decade that I still very much want in my life but these 10 years worth of memories and growing together no horrible conscious decoupling for whatever reason is gonna take that away from me, idk if this was an appropriate response but it's where my mind went hah

Another absolutely random thought but this made me think of me and my friend when we were maybe 14, and we told each other that if we were still single by 30 we'd marry each other. He got together with one of our other friends not long after and they married eventually (I'm talking a decade later). I don't talk to them anymore, it would be strange to go "hey congrats on getting married remember we said we'd marry each other hehe!" Ajakskskaka and yet still it's nothing but great looking that that was our friendship once.

Then for our dear zouis, its very hard to figure that out from a couple of interview moments and lyrics that might or might not be about something or not, the idea I have of them is thanks to some links in some of their songs that could be intentional, and it's pretty sad? But then again a song isn't an accurate reflection of every and all sides of a situation/relationship whatever. Will I ever post that leeeeeellll nobody knoowsss.

Oh the rambles.

[uwujaes]

ceo! jaehyun

prompt: ceo jaehyun who is soft for reader

genre: fluff

yall met as boss and employee (jaehyun's the boss if this isn't clear yet)

ok but HOW yall met was pretty........ eventful

basically your department plays rock paper scissors to decide who buys coffee for the day

so after ordering drinks at the cafe downstairs, you were waiting to collect them

when you saw 12 drinks getting packed, you walked to the counter to collect them

but at the same time, this really tall dude in a suit walked over at the same time asdfghjkl

both of yall took the same bag of drinks and looked at each other sHockEd

"these are my drinks"

"no these are mine, i ordered them first"

soOoOoO yall had this 5 minute debate over who these drinks belonged to

but then the barista realised they forgot one of ur orders bc yall ordered the exact same thing

so technically the drinks belonged to both of yall and well embarrassment sets in bc ur 5 min debate with him is now irrelevant lololol

u swear both of u blushed big time but aljdhdhfksk wtv moving on

both of y'all get ur drinks and part ways

back in the office, u gave out the drinks

ur colleague who set next to you asked why u took so long

"ugh it's a long story skjddhdbhd basically i fought with someone over these drinks but it turned out that it wasnt our fault bc the barista forgot one of our orders"

just then, someone walked in to greet everyone

everyone in ur department and stood

u didn't know what was going on but u followed suit

BUTBUTBUT u looked at the person who just walked in and—

"good morning everyone! i bought coffee for u bc i wanted to thank everyone for ur hard work"

u whispered to colleague "who is this?"

ur colleague looked at u "bRoo r u serious that's our ceo, jung jaehyun"

right then ur manager said "y/n (as he said that he pointed to u) has already gotten us coffee but thank you for the coffee, guess we are ready for ot today!"

jaehyun looked at u and u swore he smiled a little

after that he just left to go back to his office

at night, everyone in ur department left for home already or maybe the club bc it's a friday and the night is young

everyone but u

u had lots of work to do bc u joined the company recently and had to juggle learning the ropes here and actual work

u were finishing up and looked at the time

it was literally almost 12am

"are u not going home tonight?"

u turned to look at who asked that and when u realised who it was, u instinctively stood up to greet the person

"i-im leaving s-soon"

jaehyun laughed a bit and said "why are u stuttering? is it bc u realised im ur boss?"

and then u realised yeah right why were u stuttering? besides it's after work hours now so technically he isn't ur boss anymore

"im just, idk i guess? i mean ur my boss im ur employee and how we met earlier wasn't exactly the best situation for me to meet my boss for the first time"

jaehyun walked towards u and sat on ur table

"but im not ur boss now it's been 5 hours since work times ended"

"yeah.."

"also im.. sorry about earlier. even though it was none of our fault but u know? i didnt know what to say when i realised it wasnt our fault"

wow what a gentleman Hhsbxhdjjd

"me too im sorry about earlier, it was awkward right?"

the silence was deafening, both of u didn't know what to say

right before u were gonna ask why was he still in the office, he asked

"truth is.. i waited till u got off work and was intending to take u to dinner as an apology for what happened in the morning"

"oh... sure i havent had dinner yet anyways"

throughout dinner yall talked and oddly it wasnt awkward at all???

in fact yall enjoyed urselves so much that u didnt realise that it was alr 4am

u were tired but u didnt want the night to end; u didnt want to stop talking to ur new found friend

when jaehyun realised u were almost on the verge of sleeping face on the table, he said

"y/n i think that u shld go home now, it's 4am. come on ill drive u back"

that late night dinner was just the first of the many late night dinners u had with jaehyun

fast forward 1 year

u are wayyy closer to jaehyun than u were 1 year ago

in the office, u respected that he was ur boss and knew ur place

but outside of work, u saw him as a friend who would listen to ur complains of the crowdedness of the morning bus to work, how the barista messed up ur order and just things u would tell ur best friends

likewise for jaehyun, he did not show any sense of biasness for u in the office

and outside of work, he showed his child-like side and sometimes complained about the problems he was facing at work

one day, he was over at ur house (again) probably sleeping over bc he complains that his house is TOO FAR

when yall were eating dinner, he suddenly asked a question/topic yall hv (surprisingly) never talked about before

"do u hv a boyfriend?"

"no why?"

"was just wondering.. but why?"

"too busy yaknow? and idk where to find guys i literally hv no guy friends. well i mean except u"

u notice that jaehyun's ears started to get really red but u brush that off bc it was hot

"y/n, u know... ur like my best friend right?"

"yup and ur mine too why? did u need confirmation on that HAHAHAHA"

"i love u"

nothing big or complicating, just a simple 'i love u'

"i love u in THAT way, y/n. i really do and its driving me insane"

ngl u were shocked but

u thought of all the times he:

waited for u till ur done with work to make sure that u do not skip ur meals

listened to ur drunk-talk and constant rambles about life

took care of u when u were drunk

the countless times he encouraged and reaffirmed u when u felt like u were the ugliest person on earth

most of all, u remembered how he never fails to put a smile on ur face whenever ur with him

then, u realised it was really that simple too — u were in love with jaehyun the way he was with u

"it's ok if u dont feel the same way. it's just that... all the times u compare urself to other girls and how u say ur uglier, fatter, worse than them... it hurts me when u say that.. just wanted to let u know that ur very attractive in my eyes and it's a pity for whoever misses that"

he gave his dimply smile to mask all signs of anxiety but u could see through it all

u walked over to his side of the table

and gave him!!!! a big bear hug!!!!!!!!!

"i love u in that way too silly"

when yall pulled away, he planted a kiss on ur forehead

"so tonight's our day 1 right?"