#I LIKED THE SHADES TO AMANDA AND SEEING HER RELATIONSHIP WITH JOHN

[hidingoutbackstage]

Siddd as a fellow Sawtual how did you like Saw X :)

GOOD FUCKING MOVEY

[duckprintspress]

Round Table: Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month. Duck Prints Press has to date only published prose fiction, and while some of us do write poetry on the side, it’s generally not our focus. Thus, we thought it’d be fun and interesting to have a discussion about poetry, how poetry has impacted us, and our favorite poems. The people who joined in on the round table chat are: Nina Waters, Tris Lawrence, Shadaras, Zel Howland, boneturtle, E C, Shea Sullivan,�� theirprofoundbond, and an anonymous contributor.

1. What are your favorite types of poems?

Nina Waters: I tend to like either extremely free form or extremely structured poetry, with nothing in between. I always loved silly poetry (Shel Silverstein…) especially.

Anonymous: Same. I generally like either narrative poems or poems that are about a specific moment. I’m especially fond of reading haiku, though I don’t know how good I am at writing them.

Tris Lawrence: I tend to have favorite writers more than favorite styles. I love the cadence of Shakespeare. I love the imagery of Emily Dickinson (I cannot even count how many times I read the book of poetry of hers that I received for Christmas as a young child). I adored Robert Frost as a child. For modern poetry, Amanda Gorman‘s book was an incredibly wonderful kick in the gut.

Zel Howland: I’ve always had a mixed relationship with poetry – I struggle with understanding figurative language, so often the meaning of poetry escapes me, but I love the technical forms of poetry. This means that I end up being better at writing poetry than reading it. That said, I love silly poems and nonsense poems because they are more about the form than the content! Shel Silverstein and Lewis Carroll come to mind first.

E. C: I love seeing/hearing poetry read aloud. Slam poetry or Shakespearean monologue, the way the act of speaking them gives additional meaning to the words is just *chef’s kiss*. I also love poets (like Silverstein, as Zel mentioned) who use the form to play with the words. Prose can do this, too, but reading or hearing good poetry… it’s like I can feel the words rewiring my brain in real-time.

Shadaras: +1, poetry when performed is absolutely incredible. And it doesn’t need to be slam or a monologue; most poetry when read aloud is fantastic! (Shape poems might lose something, but… that’s aiming for a different style)

Shea Sullivan: I love poetry that viscerally evokes feeling with word choice and has rhythm. I love Rainer Maria Rilke first and last, but also Seamus Heaney and Mary Oliver.   I struggle with so many popular poets because the work doesn’t scan for me and I can’t make sense of the rhythm. But the poems that hit take me out at the knees.

Tris Lawrence: Coming back to this discussion this morning, I remembered I should add song lyrics to this… for me, really excellent songs are the best poetry, and some writers (like [Bob] Dylan) I remember more for the poetry of the song than the performance of it. Much like how poetry when performed comes alive, music is that taken to even further down the line. As for poetry being performed, that’s why Shakespeare is so awesome when staged. Sometimes it’s easier to hear the lyricism than to read it. I also often recommend when reading a book of poetry, take it slow, and read one poem aloud  per day. This is how I savored Amanda Gorman’s book and how I really got the most out of every poem in that book.

theirprofoundbond: I want to echo what Shade and captainhaterade were talking about with regards to poetry and sound. I took a poetry class in college and when the professor had us read “Player Piano” by John Updike aloud it awakened something in my brain. I have never forgotten that experience and the absolute delight I felt, reading that poem.

When I went to university and took another poetry class, my instructor stressed that we should try reading poetry aloud – to slow you down a bit, to experience the sounds, to get just a little more out of it. He recommended reading it a little more like prose, not pausing at the end of a line if there’s no end-line punctuation. I always do these things now and it’s made poetry feel more accessible to me, and helped me enjoy it more.

Alfred Tennyson also does some great things with sound—no standout favorites just yet because I’m still exploring, but I like “Break, Break, Break”

Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices by Paul Fleischman is really wonderful book of children’s poems about insects, meant to be read aloud by two or more people.

I also love poems that have some specific structure. My favorite is the haiku, but I also really enjoy villanelles, sestinas, and pantoums. Not only do they have specific rhyme schemes but some lines must be repeated in specific places; I admire the skill they take to craft. “Villanelle for the Middle of the Night” by Jacqueline Osherow is a lovely example.

And narrative poems, because it’s so cool to get a story in a small, unique format. “Letter to the Person Who Carved His Initials into the Oldest Living Longleaf Pine in North America” by Matthew Olzmann is one that I found recently that really stands out to me

Nina Waters: Maybe the “best listened to” is why I struggle with it. Understanding and processing spoken stories like that is one of my weaker tricks.

theirprofoundbond: That may be it! It’s not for everyone, but I know it helped me. And I started reading academic stuff aloud to help me focus, and then I started reading my own writing aloud which has helped me improve it in many ways (dialogue, flow, style), and I read my editing assignments aloud because it helps me pick up on little things I might not, if I read silently. But yeah, everyone’s brains work differently so it might not be the trick for everyone – just something to try, perhaps, if it hasn’t been tried before or recently

2. What inspired/convinced you to start reading poetry and did you have any preconceived notions and biases about it before?

Shadaras: as far as how I started reading poetry… well, the thing is that a lot of children’s books are poetry, right? They’re written in rhyme because it’s a good way to help kids learn! So in that way, simply by being someone who loved reading (from a family who loved reading), I was always surrounded by poetry as a kid by the nature of early reader books. I know that I was also introduced to poets who are thought of as poets as I grew up, and generally liked poetry even if I didn’t seek it out much. I wrote poetry as a kid just as much as I wrote prose!

Nina Waters: I’ll own I had some preconceived notions about poetry and reading poetry hasn’t really dispelled them? I’ve always found most “high literary” poetry quite inaccessible. Things like epic poetry (such as Homer) I love and can read no problem, and things like silly poetry (Silverstein, Dr. Seuss) I also love and can read no problem, but the kind of poetry that’s ~deep~ and tends to win accolades, I often feel like my eyes glaze over when I try to read it. I just really struggle with it.

Shadaras: I feel like that’s almost more a problem with the idea of “high literary” mode in general? Because I feel like that about a lot of different kinds of media. It’s like people think that if they struggle to understand what a piece of media is about, that means it’s ~higher art~ or something. (There’s a certain style of movie I call “award bait” and I think it is adjacent to what you’re thinking of with poetry here.) And yes, deep and thematically complex art is fantastic and deserves praise, but there’s also something to be said for praiseworthy works being enjoyable/accessible to the majority of people who encounter it? and that doesn’t seem to factor in to those “high literary” assessments.

Nina Waters: That’s definitely true, and something I used to talk about when I was still doing academic reading and writing. This idea that these ~great minds~ would write these papers, and they weren’t good, they were jargon-laden bullshit. Their sheer inaccessibility would always convince a subset of people that it must be genius, because the alternative would be to admit they didn’t personally understand it and no one wanted to confess that.

With poetry it’s harder but there’s definitely that line between “this is so eloquent and deep” vs. “this literally means NOTHING.” (And with poetry, there’s the added “sometimes the line that is eloquent and deep to one person is exactly the same line that means nothing to someone else and because of the nature of poetry that’s kinda the point and both interpretations are ‘correct'”)

theirprofoundbond: I have been, and still am, a bit intimidated by poetry. A lot of it can be really inaccessible, whether it’s classical or modern. I’m not sure I’ll ever truly grasp the meter stuff, lol. But as with any other written work, poetry can be for anyone. Even if I can’t understand a poem on all levels, it’s okay because it’s still worth exploring and I might find something that resonates with me, or teaches me something, or inspires my own (prose) writing.

3. What can a prose writer learn from reading poetry?

Tris Lawrence: It’s really all about the way the words taste, and how that evokes imagery and sensation and emotion for me. Which is also what I take from it as a prose writer – I’ve always been about the way words feel in my mouth when I write.

Shadaras: I might mostly write prose now, but the poetic instinct is still in my head; it’s very visible (audible?) in descriptive passages I write, because I think about rhythm and shape and sound all the time even in my prose writing.

theirprofoundbond: Reading poetry has inspired me to think more carefully about choice of word, pay attention to how certain emotions are evoked or impacts achieved, and to play with sounds.

Shadaras: I think that reading poetry is a fantastic way to think about metaphor/simile and descriptive language more generally. It also emphasises the rhythm/shape/sound of words and asks for a focus on specificity and thoughtful word-choice to maximize the impact of any given piece. Those elements are just as useful to prose writers as poets! Poets might be able to sustain that in-depth focus across a whole piece (since they usually work in shorter forms), but even if a prose writer only uses that specific attention at points of intense emotion where they really want to ensure there’s an impact, it’s still fantastic.

Anonymous: So I guess what I’m saying is that is that reading poetry will make you a better short story writer.

Shadaras: Yeah, the dividers between poems, prose poems, and prose is… sometimes about framing/intent?

Anonymous: Often I find short stories are structured like poetry, in that the narrative is kind of intentionally picked apart and rearranged to evoke emotion rather than straightforward understanding of the narrative.

Shadaras: And then there’s epic poetry, which is a long-form narrative as well as being poetry!

Anonymous: It’s harder to do that kind of thing with long-form fiction but it does happen occasionally.

Nina Waters: I think reading poetry can really help a prose writer with lyricism and flow.

Zel Howland: Seconded what everyone has said about reading poetry helping with lyricism and rhythm. I think having a good understanding of poetry technique can really develop how your prose manipulates (for lack of a better word) the reader beyond what is in the content – building tension in horror, for example. Great for genre work in general!

Shea Sullivan: From a writing standpoint, poetry helps me improve metaphor and simile by encouraging me to look beyond common comparisons and really dig into the question of what I want to evoke. I agree with everyone else that it helps with rhythm as well.

Anonymous: One thing I will note is that a short story can be very close to poetry and vice versa. Some of my favourite poems are in fact short stories that blur the line between stylized prose and outright poetry. Neil Gaiman has a few short stories that are especially good in this way, for example.

4. Our favorite poets

Many of our favorite poets were already discussed and linked in the above discussion, but here’s a few more…

Nina Waters: I’ve especially enjoyed Silverstein, Shakespeare, Walt Whitman, and T. S. Eliot. I went on a big Eliot kick when I was young cause I saw the musical Cats, and while I didn’t care much for the musical it made me curious about the poems that the musical was based on. I loved Silverstein so much that I memorized a couple of his poems for school. I also memorized a [J. R. R.] Tolkien poem and performed it at a school talent show when I was in middle school, so those plus reading Eliot because of Cats (which I was probably in early HS for?) is how I got started reading poetry for fun instead of just cause I had to.

Shadaras: Some other poets I’ve appreciated whose names haven’t come up yet: Mary Oliver, Ursula Le Guin, Pablo Neruda, Langston Hughes, Allen Ginsberg, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Robert Graves, W. B. Yeats, Rainer Maria Rilke, William Carlos Williams (I once wrote a short essay about “The Red Wheelbarrow” for a poetry class wherein I attempted to argue it could be about aliens/ritual sacrifice, because it was funny and I thought the professor would enjoy it, and I was correct about that).

Nina Waters: Langston Huges is i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. W.E.B. Du Bois too. (Not his focus but there are a few)

boneturtle: Seconding Rilke. I will also add Annie Dillard.

How about you, dear blog post reader? How would you answer these four questions?

[alleiradayne]

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Summary: Sam and Natalie are mistaken for a couple while on a hunt. Square Filled: Mistaken for a Couple Warnings/Tags: Fluff, angst, flirting, implied smut Characters/Pairings: Sam Winchester/Natalie Murphy Word Count: 1,571 A/N: For @spnfluffbingo2019​, this fills the square Mistaken for a Couple. Thank you, as always, to @atc74​ for beta’ing. Song: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John

“Oh, you’re in luck! The honeymoon suite is available!”

Great. Another awkward night in yet another Winchester Special motel.

“Uh, sure,” Sam said as he set his credit card one the counter. “That okay with you, Natalie?”

She groaned under her breath before she turned over her shoulder with a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

The receptionist’s toothy grin widened so far Natalie thought her face might crack. “Newlyweds? Or just on vacation?”

No matter how many times it happened, Sam always had the audacity to look shocked when anyone assumed that he and Natalie were a couple. “No, we’re… we’re just co-workers.”

She withdrew the key she had held out for Sam. “Oh, no! I’m so sorry.” Her face fell as she returned to her ledger. “I've got two single rooms open, just let me get the keys.”

The receptionist stilled at Sam's gentle touch—a touch Natalie knew so well—of his fingers to the back of her hand. “Delilah, right?” he asked.

Delilah’s brilliant smile returned, illuminating the entire room. She was gorgeous like Elizabeth, fair and blonde and tall, and if she could have turned a shade of green, Natalie would have turned emerald with envy as Sam returned her smile.

“It's okay,” he said. “We don't mind. The suite will be fine.”

Fine. Sure. If Natalie slept on the sofa. After sharing the last queen bed with Sam, Natalie had learned several hard lessons, the least of which being just how much space Sam occupied. And it wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn’t… him, so tall and lean and smelling like a mountain lodge on a lake in the dead of winter all the time. It hadn't been the first time she had picked apart his scent, but it was decidedly the last. After that night, Natalie had determined to keep her feelings to herself, bury them deep and forget they existed.

But then the warmth of his hand enveloped her shoulder and Natalie startled. Sam towered over her, hunched shoulders and head low as he peered into her eyes. “Hello? Earth to Natalie?”

How did he do it? With such effortlessness, Sam had disarmed her without trying. “Sorry. Got distracted,” she said with a laugh.

Sam took her bag from her hands and headed down the nearest hallway to their room. “You okay?”

Shit. He always read her like an open book. “That’s the fifth time we’ve been mistaken for a couple in six months.”

At the door, Sam laughed as he unlocked the handle. “You should see how often Cas and Dean get the honeymoon suite,” he said. “It’s fucking hilarious.”

Natalie grinned at that. “I can see it,” she laughed. “Does it piss Dean off?”

He pushed the door aside to reveal a larger motel room with a queen bed. At least the decorations had been limited to tasteful shades of brown and teal instead of the garish rose reds she had seen in previous suites. As she shuffled past him, she replied. “Oh, yeah. He tries to play their relationship so close to the chest, but I don’t think either of them realizes the way they look at each other.”

Natalie doubled over with laughter at that, tears welling and blurring her vision. “Oh, that—that’s rich. I’d pay to see it happen. Just once.”

His laughter followed her to the small sofa where she set her backpack. When his laughter quieted, she turned to him and gestured to the couch. “I think I’m gonna sleep here tonight.”

He looked to the bed, then the couch, and back. “Why? This bed is huge.”

Natalie scoffed through her nose. “Yeah, and you’re huge.”

The ruddy red blush that flooded Sam’s face puzzled Natalie at first, but after a beat, she understood. “I mean, you take up a lot of space! You know what I meant!”

Sam regarded the bed again, then his eyes snapped to hers. “Did I… do something… something weird last time we were out on a hunt together?”

It was her turn to blush, that awful sting prickling her cheeks. “No!” she barked. “No, you just… you’re really big, dude, you take up like most of a queen size bed. Maybe under different circumstances…”

His eyes widened as he turned to look at her head-on. “What kind of circumstances?”

Her jaw worked as she tried to come up with a reason beyond one that involved a deeper relationship. “Like, maybe, if that was a king bed,” she stuttered as she flipped a hand at the bed. “Or maybe if I’d brought better pajamas and not just giant sleep shirts.”

“I like your shirts.”

“My dad got them for me when he was—wait, what?”

He seemed to not have heard himself, for he spun back to his bags and busied himself there. “I… just thought they look comfy. Your dad got them?”

She pulled her bottom lip through her teeth. “Yeah,” she started. “Years ago, when I was a kid. I’ve been the same height since I was about twelve or thirteen, so they still fit. And… my dad…”

He stopped his rummaging at that, head slumping his chin to his chest. “I’m a fucking asshole. I didn’t mean to bring up your parents. It’s… you’ve never really talked about them since we first met.”

True, she had played most of her personal life close to the chest. “There’s not much to say. I miss my family. But that was… Christ, that was over twenty years ago.”

“I’m sorry—”

“He raced cars,” she continued. “Gearhead. Went to all these meets. Always bought me a t-shirt. I probably have two hundred of them in temperature-controlled storage back in Chicago.”

Sam’s arms enveloped her before Natalie realized he had crossed the room. In his embrace, she felt a rare sense of tranquility she had found nowhere else. Something about the tender strength with which he held her said more than any words could, more than any thought could convey. Her arms slipped around his waist, and if Sam could hold her closer, he damn well tried.

“Thank you, Natalie,” he muttered. “For sharing.”

“I’ve never told anyone that,” she said. “Except Liz, obviously. Then again, neither of us had real friends. Hunter partners, acquaintances, sure. But nobody like you and Dean. And Cas.”

“I don’t think you understand just how much that means to me,” Sam said.

“I don’t think you understand just how much you mean to me,” Natalie replied.

He held her back at arm’s length and examine her as though he saw her for the first time. “Me, personally?”

“Well, yeah,” she started, “I mean, we spend a lot of time together. Lots of similar interests. We hardly ever argue. It’s… the easiest relationship I’ve ever had. Besides Liz.”

His thousand-watt smile spread across his pink lips as he blushed, and Natalie wanted nothing more than to kiss him. And he seemed to read her mind as his tongue slipped between his lips. Dammit, she should just do it, take matters into her own hands and tell him, tell him everything until she—

Sam moved quick as a cat, far too fast for Natalie to respond. His massive hands cupped her cheeks, holding what felt like her entire head in his palms as he pressed his lips to hers for an insistent, yet short, kiss.

The wet sound of their parting filled Natalie’s ears and she followed him as far as she could reach until he straightened. Aghast terror contorted his too pretty face as he gaped and stuttered his apology.

“I… shit, I’m so sorry,” he started as he backed away, “that… that was wrong, I shouldn’t have done that without asking, I—”

Natalie leapt into his embrace, arms and legs wrapped around him, and Sam tumbled backwards onto the bed. Fervent kisses satisfied her, and Sam collapsed to his back, pulling her down with him. So many minutes might have passed, but Natalie didn’t care. Not in the least. Only when she needed to breathe did she come up for air.

“All those nights in motel suites?” Sam asked.

“I thought we were just friends,” she replied.

Sam grinned at that as he flipped her to her back and settled between her thighs spread wide. The glorious weight of him, firm and thick in all the right places, encroached on her every sense; hazel eyes gazed into hers, soft brown locks teased at her cheeks, and gun oil mingled filled her nose. The last sensation filled her mouth as Sam kissed her again, his tongue slipping past her lips and tasting of whiskey. At last, at long last he knew how she felt. And she thanked whatever gods existed that he felt the same way.

When Sam parted from her, he kissed along her jaw to whisper in her ear, “ How about friends with benefits?”

Greedy fingers nipped at her skin as he smoothed her skin from hips to breasts, and as Natalie replied, she sighed, “Depends on what kind of benefits you’re talking about.”

He knelt between her thighs and parted the button of her jeans, then glared up at her from beneath his prominent brow. Natalie shivered beneath that look, terrifying and yet, incredibly arousing. As he tugged her free of her pants and leaned between her thighs, he whispered against the fabric of her underwear.

“I can show you.” 

Feedback is appreciated! Feel free to reblog, too!

If you want in on any of my tags (Sam/Jared, Dean/Jensen), send me a DM or an ask!

ALLEIRADAYNE’S SPN FLUFF BINGO MASTERLIST

ALLEIRADAYNE’S SPN MASTER LIST

The Whole Thang:

@atc74  @hannahindie @bevans87  @meganwinchester1999  @plaided-ani-on-hiatus​  @oneshoeshort​ @jonogueira​ @andkatiethings​ @elfinmox​ @wonderfulworldofwinchester​ @princessofthefandomrealm​  @just-another-busyfangirl​ @jmekitchens​ @81mysteriouslyme​ @dolphincliffs​  @seenashwrite​  @canadianspnhunter​  @meowmeow-motherfucker​ @depressed-moose-78 @staycejo1​ @hobby27​  @pretty-fortune @mypopculturediva​ @fanfictionjunkie1112​ @sandlee44​ @4llmywr1tings​ @claitynroberts​ @maddiepants​ @scarletluvscas @donnaintx​ @blackeyedangel9805​ @rainflowermoon​ @winchesterprincessbride​  @lazinessisalliknow​ @the-is13​ @waywardafgrandma​ @keymology​ @sister-winchesters99​ @amanda-teaches​

Sam’s Sasstresses (Jared):

@karouwinchester​

[survivor-rebelsvsroyals]

RITES OF PASSAGE

BACKGROUND MUSIC!!

Before we move into the final phases of the game, it’s time for a look back at the players who have fallen.

Asya - This is not the first game we’ve played together and I doubt it’ll be the last. Because you were one of the few people I knew coming into this, I was hoping that you and I might be able to work together. Sadly, I know you were really busy during the first round and there was really nothing I could’ve done to turn that train around without risking my own neck.

Dan - I was so sad we lost that first challenge because I would have loved to work with you. This is a classic “just submit SOMETHING” scenario and I’m so sorry you were the first to go. 

Dane - You were crazy but cool 

Lachie - sorry you couldn’t submit a puzzle, better luck next time 

Asya - So, from the start you were one of the people I had the weakest relationships with. It wasn’t anything personal, but we just didn’t have a close game relationship. Then I heard that you were throwing my name out - which may or may not have been true, that whole situation was very unclear because for the first half of that day I thought it was Raffy who’d been saying my name - and so when I heard you were the counter vote, I immediately jumped on board. If I was wrong, then I’m sorry, but with how high tensions were on that tribe, I really just had to go with my gut.

Dan - I’m not gonna lie, I really loved the OG tumblr vibe of seeing you, and then I remembered just how persistent you are. It’s so intimidating and that’s why voting you out was the best for my personal game. I feel like you were well connected and keeping you may have led to my downfall. 

Dane - Whew 

Lachie - It was nice getting to know you, I actually enjoyed chatting with you and you seemed like a v cool person. Sadly you had crackhead tendencies and you had to leave early :((

Asya - Brien, gone too soon. I wanted to work with you, because you expressed a lot of interest in working with me. However, I never really trusted Nic and Trace, so that made working with you incredibly difficult. Then you started throwing Dan under the bus and I couldn’t have that, so it had to be you at that point.

Dan - You’re such a sweetheart, even if you tried to VOTE ME OUT!!!! I really enjoyed getting to know you and you have a huge heart. Thanks for being awesome! 

Dane - Sorry for attacking you so much in paintball 

Lachie - no shade but don’t really remember you, sure your a babe tho xx

Asya - Hi Trace! You and were never super close in the game. Your vote out was super unfortunate because I know you saw it coming and I really appreciated your pitch to stay, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t go out on a limb for something I wasn’t 100% sure on, and I needed to stick with the people who I had full trust in. 

Dan - Your vote hurt me the most. I loved being hosted by you previously and I really enjoyed getting to know you this game on a personal level. The way things landed, I needed to remain loyal to my group and unfortunately we just didn’t talk to the same people.

Dane - :((( I’m so sad you weren’t able to vote me out again 

Lachie - I love u Trace!! I was so happy to see you were in this season because I loved you sm in I Love Money, ngl I was ready to work with you for the long haul but you are too good and had to die ://

Asya - Chloe, my love, I was seriously heartbroken when I saw the way the swap turned out. I truly meant what I said when I told you I wanted to stick together day one. If I had my way, it would’ve been you me and Dan going into the merge together, but I figured it was pretty much curtains when I saw the way you got fucked over numbers wise. You deserved to go farther and I’m sad our dream of losing together in FTC again died so soon. 

Dan - ROBBBBBBBBBT. Why do you always get robbed in games we play together??? You were definitely one of my closest allies in the early game and I would love to have continued our working relationship. Getting swap fucked sucks, but I’m sure you went down swinging ❤️

Dane - sorry you got the boot early you seemed fun 

Lachie - I was worried about playing with you again ngl because I’m BBUK our relationship was a MESS! We kinda just assumed we still didn’t really like eachother but I’m glad we spoke and actually sorted things out and got to know each other more. Sadly the tribe swap fucked you, really thought you were gunna go all the way tbh babe xx

Asya - Okay, so, Raffy. First impression of you was that you were the loud type who was gonna get himself into trouble. I liked you so much on a personal level, but I wasn’t sure how well that was gonna mesh with my game. In the second round when I was told you were throwing me UTB I had no reason not to believe it. In hindsight, though, I really do believe you were being honest with me, and I’m glad I didn’t vote you out. Would’ve loved to have had you in the merge because I really think you would’ve made it more exciting, but I hope me and the rest of the rebel squad made you proud.

Dan - YOU CRACKHEAD. I was so sad to see you go on one hand, but on the other I was ready to not have you delegate every single task! You have a heart of gold and you always do your best. Sorry you got swap fucked too. 

Dane - damn I’m lowkey surprised you got that far 

Lachie - you were a lot ngl

Asya - Hi Glo! So, firstly, I meant what I said when I told you I was really happy to be meeting you. I’ve only ever heard really nice things about you from my time in the community so I was really excited to play with you. Unfortunately, I was put in a really bad position in the swap and when it came down to it, I was gonna do whatever I had to do to save my own neck. Hope you understand and I still think you’re a legend.

Dan - Lying to you about the vote was one of the hardest things I had to do. It wasn’t easy because you’re truly the heart of the community. Know that you are loved and that we love you. Nothing personal, only game, and if you hadn’t gone, who knows what placement I would have gotten. 

Dane - I’m so sorry I had to lie to you and vote you out! I assumed you had the idol and you were working with the royal majority alliance, when in reality it was the person that helped me take you out. 

Lachie - sadly didn’t get to have a alola reunion with you :(

Asya - Okay so the fact that we didn’t get to interact in this game is SO ugly. I really didn’t expect to see you go so soon, though I get why you did, coming hot off Indonesia. Still sad we came that short of playing together again. Either way, I’ll talk to you soon. Hopefully not too soon but beggars can’t be choosers.

Dan - Hey! We never met so I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I was hoping we would be on the same tribe at some point. I’ve heard many great things about you, and even if we wouldn’t have worked together it would have been at least nice to meet! Hopefully I’ll see you in the reunion chat! 

Dane - ROBBED QUEEN JFCCCCCC I’m so upset that they snaked you but I hope you’re living your life to the fullest bc you deserve it <3

Lachie - hope your drawing skills have improved x

Asya - Alright, here’s where things get tough. Amanda, I really had every intention of trying to play with you in the merge. Obviously I knew you and Dan were close and since I’d been working with him all game, you’re someone I also wanted a game relationship with. The second I heard my name, I knew I was gonna play one of my idols. Who I was gonna idol out, I wasn’t really sure. I talked in circles before coming to the conclusion that you were the one pushing so heavily for me to go, so I knew that long term, you leaving was what needed to be done. Hope you understand it was all self preservation. 

Dan - I love you so much. You’ve been one of my best friends for over a decade now. You mean the absolute world for me and these games are the WORST possible thing for in real life relationships. I hope you know that you going was not ideal, but it did allow me to really establish an individual game. One of us was probably going to be booted early just because of our relationship and I’m so sorry it was you. ❤️

Dane Slightly upset you didn’t want to work with me after we worked well together in HoS but I understand since I’m a crackhead. Literally had no clue you were being idol’d out I just wanted to show loyalty to Asya but WHEW a moment ....

Lachie - never really spoke to you but I’m sure ur a star. Sorry Asya killed you

Asya - Well.

Here’s the skinny, Seamus. From the second I saw you in the cast I knew it was bad news for me. You know I think you’re great, but you’re also a crackhead, and I just couldn’t see a scenario where you and I worked together successfully. That alone wasn’t a reason to vote you out, because I was notoriously planning to vote out John that round, but a lot changed after that. Firstly, on the call I had with RTP, he more or less said that you and Linus were the kingpins on old Arioi and that was something I found easy to believe. Secondly, I heard you were the one pushing for Dane to go, which you then confirmed to me when we talked about it. Thirdly, after dropping some hints in her pms, Pippa said to me “I wish there was a way we could take Seamus out.” I knew I was gonna play my idol either way, but I wanted to have four solid votes just in case the majority split between Dane and Dan or Dane and John. In your words “I’m not gonna say I’m sorry for voting for you but good game,” because I’m not sorry, but only because I really believe you would’ve kicked my ass if I left you in the game any longer.

Dan - SKSKSKSKSKSK. Your blindside was satisfying for a lot of us. You’re just a good ass player and honestly we were all a little shook. I’m pretty sure you were way better connected than you led on, so getting you out early merge I think advanced my personal game pretty far. We’d always be crass and inappropriate in PMs and I thank you for making me laugh, and being such a dynamic character in this game, even if we didn’t work together. 

Dane - GOD you were the second biggest crackhead this game and I’m truly surprised people went along with your plans as far as you got!  All you did was take information from others and never create a mutual trust and that’s why you got idol’d out.

Lachie - a legend ugh the flavour. Actually really liked speaking to you for the short time we did, wish you could’ve gone further because I was excited to work with you.

Asya - So, I feel like coming into this game I had this super weird perception of you from like community lore and whatever, and it had me on my guard in basically every conversation we ever had. That started to melt away a bit after that one phone call we had, and I fully thought that was gonna be the start of a really strong alliance, but we both know how that ended. In general, you were just always a very scary player to me, and I really expected to be voted out the round you left. As a person, I think you’re awesome, but I’d be happy to never play a game with you again. All love <3

Dan - I love that we both fangirled a little bit at merge when we finally got to say hi to one another. Your old series really got me into games so I was so excited to see you. I am sad that we didn’t start on the same tribe because I think we would have definitely been working together. The numbers weren’t there for us and I’m so sorry that we couldn’t make more work! 

Dane - Sorry for blowing up your game HNNNNNN. Asya said before Seamus’s tribal “I have no more idols so we have to come up with something,” and I did fkfkfkfmf. You were truly a huge social threat in this game and I had to expose it. It was very nice to play with you again!

Lachie - I love you I was excited to be reunited with you again 🥺 sadly your just too good and ya had to go. Mwah 💖💖

Asya - The amount of stress I was under trying to keep you in this game Miss Pippa. Whew. When I told you I was gonna die in the sword for you as my ally I meant it, I really did. I didn’t expect you to become the majority’s target so fast, then all of a sudden there were rumors flying about god knows what, and you were busy that night, and I really tried up to the Very last second, but ultimately there was nothing I could do. It sucks, and I thought that it was gonna be the end of my game, but I had to lose big at some point. You know I adore you outside the game and I’m really glad you (probably) don’t hate me.

Dan - You’re such a crackhead and I love that about you. Whether you were going around trying to stir up trouble, or just talking to me about how busy our lives were, I appreciate you as a player. This isn’t a suck up, but honestly you’re so funny and keep people on their toes. You’re gonna be forward and blunt, and working with you, albeit, for only like one and a half rounds, really showed me how you can play and be a little snake. Loved playing with you! 

Dane - THE BIGGEST CRACKHEAD OF THE SEASON! A QUEEEEEEEEN! You were a HOT mess and I lived for every second of it. Literally you were SET and then you started spreading lies to your allies and it got so messy fkfkfkfkfkf. I’m truly sorry you had to leave the game but it was so much fun working with you for the short time

Lachie - sorry you couldn’t get me out babe x

Asya - I’m very grateful you voted to keep me on NuArioi, but after that… I really don’t know what happened. You said you were worried about me flipping once we got to the merge, then you flipped on me without a word. I tried to work with you after that too, but despite you saying you didn’t wanna hurt mine or Dane’s game, we never saw eye to eye. I’m sorry our needs never aligned, and I’m sorry things went the way that they did in the end.

Dan - Linusssssss. I was so happy when we swapped together and started working together. You’re somebody that I knew I could and  would work with if given the opportunity. I think a combination of you going when you did was partial bitterness from our old alliance, and a real fear of your ability to socially and strategically work people. You were sitting pretty and that was super threatening. It was only a compliment to your game, going when you did. 

Dane - whew the biggest snake in the mf game. I truly don’t know what to say except I’m glad I got Nigel out xoxoxo BAAAAAAAAAH 

Lachie - legend status. Another robbed king that had to leave because of and idol. You got done dirty and I was excited to play this game with you. Something about speaking to a non US player just hits different

Asya - Ryan, you and I didn’t have that much of a relationship at all. We might’ve spoken the least of everyone, which is on me as much as on you, but it meant it was very easy for us. I think we probably spoke the most the night you were voted out which is unfortunate, and essentially why I wanted you out for such a long time. That and I’m pretty sure you had a way better relationship with most of the jury than I did. I think you’re a super cool guy though and I’m glad we got at least one ½ tribals together before you left. 

Dan - Thank you for putting the past in the past for us. And most importantly, thank you for holding me accountable for when I say stupid heat of the moment shit. I need more people to do that for me. You showed me that regardless of what the past is, you can only change the future. I hope you know that I appreciated it so much and it meant the world to me to just have a normal convo with you. 

Dane - You’re the only one who truly appreciated my memes this game ty king xo glad to have played another game with you! 

Lachie - an evil slut that I adore. Can’t help it that ur popular and people felt intimidated by that :((

Asya - John, I’m honestly surprised that you and I both made it as far as we did. It seemed like we were totally on the same page all of the first phase of the game, then come the swap we just were fully out of sync. We finally came together again on the RTP vote, but sadly, that was the end of our individual interests aligning I think you’re such a good and kind person, and I hope we can be cool after the game because I’m really happy that I got to meet you.

Dan - Legend. I feel like we were so awkward in this game for now reason!!! I got the vibe that we wanted to work together we just didn’t know how. We were trusting different people, Amanda went early, and we just lost what we had going. Socially you’re an incredible player and you leaving was a huge jury threat out for everyone, which only speaks to your personality and gameplay. 

Dane - Joe my man in every game we truly never end up on the same side and it sucked to have to go against you again. I do commend you though for starting a Snapchat streak with me after you realized you weren’t with the numbers and then ending it after you got voted out ckfkfkfkfk 

Lachie - another BBUK legend, another robbed legend. I really wanted you to stay but sadly nobody wanted to risk rocks. I really didn’t think you’d be the rebel I ended up being closest to but ummm it happened lmao. Ur a sweetheart and I enjoyed every sec of play with ya again xx

Asya - Ruthie, I’m so glad I got to meet you in this game. I think you’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever played with. I enjoyed talking to you when we did, and I’m sorry we never seemed to click on a game level. I never fully felt like you and I were able to be completely honest with one another, and so it was hard to strategize or anything like that, especially in the late game. I wish you all the best and I hope you’re not too upset.

Dan - OOOOOOOF. Girl, voting you out was hands down the hardest thing I’ve done this whole game. You’re so kind and I enjoyed getting to know you better. Loyalty to the people I’m with the earliest in the game unfortunately superseded what we had. I hope that you’re not upset with me or bitter about it. I just thank you for helping me get to this point and I definitely need you to know that given different circumstances, you’d be going all the way to the end with me. 

Dane - god talking to you was so hard this game because Dan would tell Asya and I what you were saying but when I’d ask you you’d just straight up lie to me fkfkfkfkgkgkg there were so many times that I just wanted to call you out but I needed you to not COMPLETELY despise me and be helpful in a couple votes. On the other hand though it was very refreshing to talk to you since you were actually nice to people in this game. Sorry we had to vote you out ! 

Lachie - ROBBED!! Wish you were still here, i was SO excited to finally play a game with you after seeing you around for ages. And you sure did live up to the hype, you’re just so nice and real ugh a breath of fresh air in these games tbh. Sorry people felt the need to lie right up until the end :(( luv ya 

[imaginemycroftholmes]

Mycroft Submission Form

I’ve been flirting with the idea for awhile now, so sure, why not?

Name: Amanda

Nationality: US

Age: 29

Personality Type: ISFP (or so the Internet says…)

Level of Education: HS diploma

Best Subject: English

Worst Subject: Algebra

Favorite Subject: I had a few favorites; Biology/Earth Science, English, History and Art

5 Hobbies (if applicable): Most of my pastimes are the usual things: reading, drawing and the like. I also love to write, and hand-in-hand with that I do a lot MORE reading (which I tend to refer to as “research”) trying to make what I write more believable or at the very least less nonsensical. But I do learn interesting if mostly useless tidbits here and there. I also frequently enjoy walking on nature trails or in parks in my area, particularly if they’re around water.

Favorite Genre of Music/Movies/Books: I’ll start with the easiest half of this question. My taste in books and movies is pretty much the same thing; fantasy. Futuristic, medieval, dystopian, superheroes, magic; I love it. As for music, that’s a little harder to pin down.

Last song you listened to on repeat: I actually don’t recall what song I last listened to on repeat, so instead I’ll tell you the song that’s been stuck in my head. It’s Art of War by Anberlin.

Last phrase you said to another living person: “I tried.”

How many blankets do you sleep with: No more than 3, but it has to be pretty cold before I resort to a third blanket.

7 note worthy skills: I like to cook, and I have no qualms about trying out new recipes (though I make no promises about results). I’m rather articulate and have a deep fondness of words (which I don’t use very often because most of the people I deal with day to day wouldn’t get/appreciate it). I like to sing, well enough to my own ears. I’m a good listener, empathic perhaps to a fault, and I’m good with keeping secrets.

7 noticeable sins: Honestly, I’ve been guilty of all seven at one time or another.

Allergies/impairments/illnesses: My first stint in the hospital three years ago leads me to believe I’m allergic to the antibiotic Bactrim. Apparently it makes my immune system try to kill me.

Level of Intelligence on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being dumb, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being genius): I’d say I’m probably average. Maybe a shade above.

Level of Fitness on a scale of 1 to 5( 1 being obese, 2 being overweight, 3 being average, 4 being fit and 5 being skinny): This one’s a 2.

Level of Attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being Anderson, 2 being below average, 3 being average, 4 being above average and 5 being Mycroft): Again, I would say average, but like most people I could be bias one way or another.

Feline, canine or both: I love how easy-going most dogs are, but I feel like it’s more rewarding when a cat likes you. Currently I have a dog and a cat.

Confidence Level on a scale from 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 low, 3 average, 4 above average and 5 Sherlock): I’m going to say 2.5 for this one. It’s not great, but it’s not what it was. And I’m working on it.

Position in the Family (oldest, youngest, middle): I’m the oldest. My brother is 8 years younger than me and we’re pretty close.

Eye Color: I’m told they’re hazel, but closer to the blueish-green side.

Hair Color and Length: Sandy brown, cut just above my shoulders. It gets lighter in the summer time.

Height: 5'7, give or take.

Combat level on a scale 1 to 5 (1 being useless, 2 being somewhat capable, 3 being average, 4 being more than capable and 5 being expert): I’d like to think I’m a 3. Thankfully that’s never been tested.

Your normal dress: I work in an office, so it’s business-casual most of the week. I like dressing nicely, but I’m equally as happy in jeans and a T-shirt or sweatshirt.

How well you take rejection on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being temper tantrum, 2 being vindictive, 3 being average, 4 being can take it like a man, and 5 being like water off of a duck’s back): Handling rejection is another one of those things that’s a little tough to pin down. Humans are essentially pack animals, we’re wired to want to belong and be accepted. Though some of us have had more experience with it than others. That being said, I’d be between 2 and 3 on this one. I wouldn’t turn vindictive, though.

Languages known: I took American Sign Language and Spanish in school, but that of course was years ago. I did well in ASL, but was nowhere near conversational.

Cleanliness of your bathroom on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being a crime scene, 2 being messy, 3 being average, 4 being pretty clean and 5 being perfectly spotless): It’s going to have to be a 2 on this one. Definitely due for a once-over with a Magic Eraser.

How big is your circle of friends on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being nonexistent, 2 being very small, 3 being average, 4 being large, and 5 being a massive social network): I have a good number of acquaintances, but a very small circle of people I consider to be friends.

How would you rate your mental health on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being very poor, 2 being poor, 3 being average, 4 being good, and 5 being prefect): Looking back, even as recently as a year ago, I feel like I can accurately say I am a 3.

Opinions on the current Holmes family members ( Siger Holmes, Violet Holmes, Sherlock Holmes and Eurus Holmes): Eurus is easiest, so I’ll start with her. She reminds me of the exotic snakes at the zoo; fascinating to observe and study so long as there’s a layer of thick glass between us. Sherlock’s next easiest, he’s intriguing, funny (often without meaning to be) and someone whose company I dare say I’d enjoy. Siger’s pretty precious in my opinion, I imagine the two of us would get along well; and for the most part I’d say the same of Violet as long as I keep on her good side.

Please bold the following below that applies toward your submission:

Friendship

Mentorship

Relationship

Partnership

As to the question portion, I spent quite awhile reading and re-reading and pondering. I couldn’t answer them all, but I took a shot.

Question Portion:

1) If you ask me to prove it I wouldn’t be able to, but I would assume angle C is the sum of angles A and B since the vertex of all three begin in the lower left hand corner and the rays meet in the upper right hand corner (does that even make sense?)

2) I honestly have no idea how to solve that. Math has never been my strongest subject, so I tend to stick to what I know.

3) I’ve read through this one over and over and I still can’t make heads or tails of it. I fold.

4) I would say that shooting Mr. White first would be best. He never misses, while with Mr. Gray there’s the possibility that he will miss.

5) 5+5+5+5 ≠ 555

6) I’ve been puzzling over the man in the elevator, but I can’t figure out why he wouldn’t just take the elevator all the way to his floor. Unless he has claustrophobia. Though if he had claustrophobia, why would he take the elevator at all?

7) Well if the room has no door, you could simply flick all the switches one at a time until one of them turns on the light inside, then go in. If there is a door, then I’m not sure.

9) Honestly my first thought on this one is that if John and Mary live in the same city why is he mailing her a ring? They’re in love, odds are they know each other’s addresses. Wouldn’t it be simplest to meet and give it to her in person?

13) I’m going to say C.

19) Bronze and iron I think.

24) I have always seen the dress and blue and black.

Mycroft's answer:

Well, well Amanda, you seem to have filled out everything at length but I seem to have missed your current occupation on the form.  I've gathered from other questions that you work in an office of some sort but I would be curious to know what sort of business you align yourself with. I find it very telling about a person with what kind of work they choose to pursue such as people that flock to retail have a tendency toward but the color and patterns while fast food members are more sight and smell. Very fun to decipher on a dull day in the office. While you do not address all the questions I see you still put forth the effort to answer what you could with some rationalization on your end of the spectrum and I can respect that.  For any relationship whether it be romantic or platonic requires some form of communication in order to function effectively. That being said I find it very refreshing to find someone closer to my height as you will find that being over 6 foot does come with its disadvantages. Finding clothes, walking through crowds when you're trying to remain unseen, attempting to kiss someone well below my height and closer to my chest. I will say that biology has never been one of my stronger suits as opposed to Earth Sciences (since Sherlock was keen on exploring the great wilderness as a pirate and all)  but would be amendable to glossing over one of your favorite bits of the subject over coffee or pastry at any time that you feel you are available. I cannot promise this would be a quick romance but what does it matter if we enjoy our company along the way?

 Friendship: 7.91/10

Mentorship: 9.35/10

Relationship: 6.98/10

[harrisonkitteridge-blog]

Sherlock Season 4 – TL;DR: The Fanfiction is Better

SPOILERS AND PALATE-CLEANSING FIC RECS FOLLOW

Season 4 of Sherlock was always going to be a tough sell for me, because the moment they revealed “she’s a secret assassin!” I stopped buying the Mary Watson character. It’s what film critic, Mark Kermode, calls the “Meg Ryan is a helicopter pilot/Keanu Reeves is an architect” problem. Amanda Abbington was just not believable to me as a spec ops assassin, and she wasn’t equipped to perform the action convincingly. And all that was before the problems with the story were even revealed. After Mary shot Sherlock, every time she turned up on the screen, my stomach clenched, because, as presented, she was capable of anything – demonstrating profoundly antisocial tendencies: lying, manipulation, self-serving extreme violence, and disregard for human life. Her total rehabilitation was simply not plausible to me and probably wouldn’t have been even if its foundation hadn’t been the unbelievably ludicrous, glib assertion: “That was surgery.” (Not how guns and bullets work!) Watching her subsequent chumminess with Sherlock, whom she shot in the chest and killed (he flatlined), made me feel like I was being gaslighted. In my mind, it wasn’t good enough for her to say, “I only hurt Sherlock because I love John so much I can’t lose him!” Go down to any battered women’s shelter and you’ll hear similar stories of abusers’ rationalisations for beating up the person their property dared to smile at in the grocery store parking lot. Watching Mary joke and laugh with the people she’d victimised so horribly while continuing to marginalise John made much of The Six Thatchers almost unwatchable for me.

I understand that the undercurrent of intimate partner abuse in the Watson family was wholly unintentional, and it reminds me of the criticisms of 50 Shades of Gray. In both cases, two-dimensional characters (“Action Barbie” and “Sexy Troubled Billionaire”) there solely to serve the plot – not function as decision-making protagonists in their own lives – were the problem. (Yes, I just compared Sherlock to 50 Shades of Gray. At least 50 Shades of Gray had the excuse of a novice writer wrangling with the knottiness of a BDSM relationship as an excuse. Moftiss should know better.) Nevertheless, as much as I disliked the Mary Watson character, as much side eye as I gave her and John’s frankly dubious “love story”, I was appalled by Moftiss icing her so Sherlock could figure out he needs to check his ego. She was just there to sacrifice herself for Sherlock after his douchery got a bullet fired at him and to give John something to shake and sob about. The entire storyline of their “strong female character” was essentially a morality play aimed at teaching Sherlock about the dangers of hubris and a fulcrum to lever up the man-tear quotient. Then they turned their BAMF assassin into the benevolent spirit providing emotional instruction via DVD from beyond the veil. *vomiting emoji*

The Lying Detective at least provided relief from all the incoherent punching and shooting and rappelling of The Six Thatchers, even if it brought with it the lazy construct of the hallucinated spouse as an expression of grief (for real, though, the handling of the Mary Watson character and storyline is a masterclass in what not to do – so incredibly misjudged). One of the major issues I have with Moftiss’s writing is their careless, insensitive handling of serious mental health issues. Using auditory and visual hallucinations as shortcuts to say “I’m devastated by the loss of my wife” really rubbed me the wrong way. John wasn’t just talking to Mary in his head or forgetting she was dead, which happens to many people who lose a loved one suddenly. He was seeing her, hearing her – he couldn’t separate her spectre from reality. Those are not manifestations of grief; they are signs of profound psychological disturbance and distress that require urgent medical intervention, maybe even hospitalisation. They could have tied John’s extreme symptoms to sleep-deprivation from having to deal with Rosie at all hours of the night. The sleep-deprivation could have been exacerbated by insomnia brought on by feelings of guilt. But, no. They did it because real grief, presented the way a well-adjusted, middle-aged adult would experience it just wasn’t sexy enough. 

I never found the “high-functioning sociopath” line funny, but thought they might take it to an interesting place. What is sociopathy? How does it manifest itself? How would it manifest itself in Sherlock Holmes? Why does Sherlock label himself this way? Was he misdiagnosed (he’s obviously not a sociopath)? Was he self-diagnosed? I don’t think Moftiss ever genuinely considered how having a personality disorder would affect a character’s behaviour outside of giving him funny quirks and making him a bit rude. “High-functioning sociopath” was just there as a clapback to Anderson then as something gangster to say before Sherlock shot Magnusson in the face. They never thought it all the way through. By way of comparison, Arthur Conan Doyle described Sherlock Holmes as a law unto himself, as the final arbiter. He was also called “masterful” – able to impose his will on others. When he chose, he had “an ingratiating quality” and could easily earn people’s trust. He was also an accomplished actor and master of disguise, who was able to fool even his dear Watson. There is a grandiose, manipulative psychology at work there that is knitted together with a deep sense of fair play and commitment to justice. While sometimes churlish and short-tempered, he could be profoundly empathetic. He also had nervous breakdowns, what we call major depressive episodes today, and used hard drugs to self-medicate. Sherlock Holmes’s psychology is full of fascinating contradictions. Everything Moftiss needed was in the original text, but they never got beneath the surface. So, while they’ve hit on some of these traits, they’ve never been fully integrated into a complete character because I just don’t think they’ve made the effort to understand mental illness and related drug abuse. There’s actually an interview of Steven Moffat describing Sherlock as “clinically insane”. The fundamental misunderstanding of what that means is why The Final Problem ultimately failed.

The appearance of the evil, secret sister telegraphed that we were heading into telenovela territory, and I wasn’t surprised by the contrivance of the Maze of Moral Abyss, all those macabre labours for Sherlock, John and Mycroft to perform – a steroidal re-hash of The Great Game. It was like something out of a 90s action film – The Rock meets Die Hard With a Vengeance, and I watched it as such. I half expected Bruce Willis or some other 90s throwback to come bounding in, armed to the teeth, start flinging grenades and just command them to shoot their way out. Even so, The Final Problem was the best of the three episodes this season – at least them spending nearly the entire episode at Sherrinford meant that it was cohesive tonally. I still don’t quite know what to make of them choosing to ground the entire plot – all those games, all those deaths – in Eurus’s cry for help. It is possible to humanise a psychopath within the constraints of their diagnosis. They have inner lives that aren’t limited to the monstrous, but they’re not like us – the emo play is always a loser – you can only out-manipulate them. They have an internally consistent view of the world, and once you understand the rules they follow, you can predict their behaviour and outflank them (it’s the basis of criminal profiling), but you have to empathise with them. Do you see how understanding all that not only helps with characterisation but buttresses the plotting and would have avoided the anti-climax of the ending? Answering the question: “What does Eurus really want?” then having Sherlock, John and Mycroft connive a way to give it to her would have been much more interesting.

The obvious pop cultural point of connection with The Final Problem is The Silence of the Lambs. We all were drawn to Hannibal Lecter – we couldn’t help liking him and felt conflicted about it. At the end of the film when Clarice says she knows he won’t come after her because he would consider it “rude” – now that’s interesting. What is Eurus’s “That would be rude”? My inability to answer that question gets to the heart of my problem with Sherlock – I don’t feel like I understand any of the characters or what is motivating them. Superimposing the tropes of storytelling onto the episodes and trying to read between the lines is the only way to make sense of them. They’ve been building to this Eurus confrontation for literally half a decade, and it still fell flat. They gave her whole backstory, and I still don’t understand her. By way of comparison, The Silence of the Lambs is 2 hours and 18 minutes long, and Anthony Hopkins appears on screen for only fifteen minutes, yet we all understood exactly who Hannibal Lecter was, what he was capable of, what he wanted and why. I’ll grant that The Silence of the Lambs is an unfairly high bar, but it provided a clear blueprint for the complex, charismatic, psychopathic serial killer pulling the strings. At the end of The Final Problem, Moftiss asks us to believe that the answer to Eurus’s “problem” was the love of her family. She obviously coveted Sherlock’s attention enough to murder poor Victor Trevor and set her elaborate stage, but anyone who understands even the basic contours of her psychology knows her shaking and crying in a burnt out house and needing a hug from her brother isn’t how that story ends.

I seriously wonder how much better Sherlock would have turned out if at some point in the last 5 years Moftiss had just googled Cluster B Personality Disorders and spent a few days boning up. They wouldn’t have made such a hash of Mary, and Eurus wouldn’t have been “Female Moriarty Who Lost Her Bottle in the End” – utterly anticlimactic. Or did they do the research, but they just couldn’t give a woman the minerals to be a proper villain?

To be clear: I wouldn’t have many of the complaints I’ve laid out if I hadn’t constantly been told Sherlock is the cleverest show on television. It’s not. It never was. The plotting of the first two seasons got it pretty close to being included in that conversation, but it’s no The Sopranos, no The Wire, no Mad Men. At this point, I’d say any workmanlike police procedural has it beat, hands down. Remember all those arguments about which was the better show, Elementary or Sherlock? Well, Elementary won. And that unsexy police procedural structure is why. The show has an identity, a solid foundation – it’s consistent. Moftiss can’t seem to decide what Sherlock is about, and that’s why so much of Season 4 felt like lurching in and out of a Jason Statham film, a Masterpiece Theatre offering and a Lifetime movie. At least The Final Problem managed to break that pattern. It was essentially the Sherlock Holmes origin story, and it took us back to the ancestral home, back to the first tragedy. Even just visually, we were clearly in Skyfall, which shows that Ralph Jones picked up exactly what Moftiss were putting down when he called them out on the “James Bonding” of Sherlock. (The literary beef that ensued was entertaining, and Jones bodied Gatiss with “The Second Letter” – the cipher in the cipher was the mortal wound.)

The argument about the Bonding of the franchise was really about a lack of depth – the flash of fight sequences over the substance of watching a precise but troubled mind at work – and Jones clearly made a valid point. Gatiss shooting back that Sherlock being a BAMF is canon didn’t address the heart of the criticism. I think the Daniel Craig Bond films are much better than anything on offer in post-Season 2 Sherlock. Even with all the camp, sneering baddies and always slightly ridiculous plots, they never got anywhere near anything as radioactively, intergalactically idiotic as “That was surgery.” In a Bond film, when someone is shot in the chest at close range, it’s TO SHOOT THEM IN THE CHEST SO THEY STOP EXISTING. If they manage to survive, it’s a bit of a turn-up. Guns and bullets don’t magically become surgical implements. Yet Sherlock used this physics-defying rebuke of basic human anatomy to convince intelligent, educated people to go along with the rehabilitation of Mary Watson (why they chose to make her silly storyline so important is baffling). They then doubled down on that narrative in The Six Thatchers, piling on a barrage of action that was essentially extraneous to the story. All to get us to the moment in the aquarium where Mary dives in front of a bullet to save Sherlock, who for some unfathomable reason decided to talk over any attempts to pacify Norbury and all but commanded her to shoot him. Then Mary was kind of a ghost but not really. Then they introduced a long-lost evil sister and an island prison. Do all that if you want; just don’t insult my intelligence by smugly telling me it’s clever then hide behind Arthur Conan Doyle’s skirts when you get called out on it. If from the beginning Moftiss had just owned up to having wanted to write a glossy, slightly absurd, mainstream actioner with soliloquizing villains, I would have gladly gone along with it. But I’ve continuously been told I’m watching The Usual Suspects or some other complex thriller with a sense of humour when it’s clear I’m watching Bad Boys 2 with British accents. Again: that’s fine in the name of pure entertainment; just know that insisting it’s clever feels like a straight-up troll. At some point all the cognitive dissonance had to become too much to bear.

So what’s the result of all this?

The fanfiction is better.

Even relatively inexperienced fanfic writers with a limited set of tools at least attempted to flesh out the characters and give them backstories and lives, fully formed personalities. It didn’t always work, but the effort was appreciated. The superstars of the genre used the hiatus to write stories that surpassed anything Moftiss gave us in Season 4, particularly in terms of character development. When characters’ motivations drive the plot, the story is not only more cohesive narratively, it’s more engaging and lasting because all the shocks and gasps are earned and move beyond cheap manipulation for the sake of entertainment. At the heart of the narrative success of the top-tier fanfiction is empathy. The writers got inside the characters’ heads and asked, “Who are these people? Where are they from? What experiences shaped them? What do they want? What are they afraid of? Whom do they love?” Moftiss seemed to reverse engineer everyone’s behaviour and emotional reactions by working backwards from the plot – everyone is just there to be manipulated, to be made to speak or act because the plot demands it, so those questions can’t really be answered. That labyrinth Eurus runs Sherlock, John and Mycroft through is a microcosm of the entire franchise. If I didn’t read fanfiction, maybe I could have gone along for the ride with Moftiss, but I knew there were fully realised characters out there whose hurt wasn’t manufactured, whose choices mattered beyond setting up a gag or a plot twist, who were protagonists in their own lives no matter how small their roles were.

Not even Sherlock escapes this poor treatment.

Here’s what exactly none of the plot-driven, post-Season 3 Sherlock fanfiction I’ve read failed to consider: Sherlock dealing with the fallout of having been captured and tortured in Serbia then being shot by Mary. Do you know why they all went there? Because being the victim of that kind of brutal violence tends to affect people psychologically, and those effects ripple into the lives of their friends and family. But in Moftiss Land, Sherlock being chained and beaten at the opening of the third season was just there so we could watch Mycroft crack wise while wearing a fur hat. Mary shooting him was meant to “Red Wedding” us, nothing more. There were no lingering physical or psychological effects from Sherlock having been tortured. It’s never come up again, not even as an aside. Really think about that and what it means about the quality of the writing, about the depth of the characterisation, about the empathy being deployed towards the eponymous hero. Sherlock is obviously the character Moftiss hold in the highest esteem, but Season 3 proved Sherlock is just a prop to them – their most beloved prop but still just a thing, a toy. The only real narrative through lines in Sherlock are the twists, and they’re the only elements that aren’t played right on the surface. Everything else is meant to be taken at face value. There is no subtlety, no subtext. There are Easter eggs and other markers laid down mostly for plot payoffs – a puzzle to solve – but no emotional depth, no narrative consistency. Sherlock is and always has been elementary – there were just too few episodes for most of us to suss it out sooner.

A few people saw through all the flash of Sherlock from the very beginning, and I tip my hat to them for being far more perceptive than I. (If they’re running around being insufferable and shouting, “I told you so!” they’ve more than earned the right.) The first two seasons were a fresh, shiny new take on the somewhat musty image of the great detective, and we all got to watch Benedict Cumberbatch take command and come into his own. But the real reason those early episodes were of such a higher quality was the low budgets: they handcuffed Moftiss. They couldn’t get all the helicopters, Aston Martins and rappelling super soldiers on their juvenile wish list, so the plot twists actually had to be interesting not just turned up to eleven. We all mistakenly assumed that character development that would match the level of the plotting would come later. What those early critics of Sherlock understood (and what has come to pass) was that the reverse would happen: the plotting would sink to meet the level of the poor characterisation. What most of us took for slight faux pas we could overlook, they realised were portents of the slide in quality we’ve all witnessed. They knew Moftiss weren’t to be trusted to dock the ship, and they were absolutely right. Once Moftiss were truly given free rein, the true heart of Sherlock was revealed, and it’s just confused but lacks the self-awareness to realise or do anything about it.

Being “the smart kids” is part of the hardcore Sherlock fandom’s identity, and I don’t see many of them being able to admit that Moftiss bamboozled them. (We all got took, guys.) The capricious characterisation, careening plot and disjointed editing have thus far been interpreted as intentional, as Moftiss hiding the ball, as further evidence of their diabolical cleverness – all the incoherence taken as a collection of hidden clues to be thoroughly investigated. Even though Season 3 made it clear the story was spinning out of control and Season 4 has seen it hurl itself off a cliff (but only just miss smashing its head on the rocks), much of the earnest analysis will likely continue. Many of the casuals are in it for the slick deductions and probably embraced all the high-octane thrills. (There will be an inevitable backlash, though – you can’t fool all the people all the time.) The excellent ratings of Season 4 mean the bean counters will want a Season 5, or at the very least more Christmas Specials. Enough of the audience is probably still on board to justify it financially. I can only hope Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman have enough sense to withhold their participation. The Final Problem wasn’t the unmitigated disaster I was expecting, but everything from Season 3 onwards has made it clear the show can’t live up to its early potential and that the problems with the storytelling are baked in. So, it’s best this latest Sherlock Holmes incarnation just come to a close before it becomes a career-devouring black hole.

Thank goodness the fanfiction provides someplace the characters can live on.

  Fics to Cleanse the Palate

TRUTH MAY VARY by @amalnahurriyeh

Seven years after Sherlock's death, John's life is normal.

And then it isn't.

I don’t usually rec incomplete work, but this is close enough to being done to be satisfying. If Season 3 onward had shown even a fraction of the emotional maturity of this story, we would be in a very different place.

Read on AO3.

 STRAIGHT BOY PAIN by @glenmoresparks

Sherlock is in pain. Billy Kinkaid, the Camden garrotter and best man Sherlock knows, diagnoses it. Ademar Silver, a male prostitute in south London, attempts to treat it. Lestrade, kindly Detective Inspector of New Scotland Yard, doesn’t notice it. Eventually, John Watson, healer and registered medical doctor, cures it.

And a beautician called Penny paints Sherlock’s toenails.

Read on AO3.

 FAN MAIL by @scullyseviltwin

“WatsonChick143 has been rather maniacal in her commenting as of late... she’s left comments on everything you’ve posted John, something so obvious can’t have escaped even your attention."

A fan of John’s blog graduates into stalking.

Read on AO3.

 THE YELLOW POPPIES by @silentauroriamthereal

Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

Read on AO3.

And in an act of shameless self-promotion:

BEFORE HOLMES MET WATSON by Meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What does it mean to be a detective with no cases to solve? Sherlock Holmes tries not to ponder this question as he distracts himself from his professional failings with bare-knuckle boxing at an underground fight club and vials of cocaine and morphine. John Watson spends his days in an operating theatre on an Army base in Afghanistan, doing his best to patch up the wounded and failing more often than he'd like. The dark, violent worlds in which both men choose to live complicate their romantic lives and cause them terrible suffering but set them on paths that are destined to cross.

Read on Wattpad or Tablo OR download the Ebook on my website.

I’m always looking for recs, so PLEASE ADD A FIC YOU THINK ISN’T GETTING ENOUGH LOVE.

[avidbeader]

Spoilery Thoughts on “Doctor Who” and “The Six Thatchers” or Moffat Has Lost Me Again

tl;dr version: Moffat is still a bit not good when writing women.

A longish time ago, in a country across an ocean from me, an enthusiastic fellow called Russell T. Davies revived an old television show called “Doctor Who”. I never paid attention to said show when I was younger but my husband convinced me to try it and soon I was hooked, shipping the Doctor with Rose with all my might.

And then, a few years later, another fellow named Steven Moffat took over running the show. And it didn’t feel the same. Of course it shouldn’t have felt exactly the same - different producer=different aspects of emphasis. But my interest lessened as the Moffat who wrote “The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances” gave way to the one who wrote Mary Sue-ex-machinae like a perfect king’s mistress or a smug time-hopping archaeologist. As strong characters and their interaction/development gave way to all plot and puzzles, all the time.

I gave up on “Doctor Who” after the episode “A Good Man Goes to War”. In that episode, the companion Amy is found after we learn (1) she’s been pregnant and given birth off-screen and (2) the Doctor and Amy’s husband were tricked by a clone version of her for months. And THEN we have a scene where Amy’s baby is revealed to be a clone as well, that the real baby has been kidnapped.

I have always had a weakness when it comes to child endangerment in stories. It got worse when I had a child of my own. Plus, I’ve always been the sentimental sort who will cry at the drop of a hat. That scene should have wrecked me. Instead, I looked on with impatience and then growing anger when *of course* said baby turned out to be River bloody Song right away. Sorry that you’ll never get to raise your daughter, so sorry you’ll never have another child since there’s no narrative drive for it, but hey! She’s right here and ready to tell you she always loved you!

I am now waiting for Chris Chibnall to step on board before I consider watching “Doctor Who” again. Because my tastes run to character before plot and Moffat is clearly a plot-before-character writer.

And now we turn to “Sherlock”. Another Moffat project, but this time Mark Gatiss was part of it. And I enjoyed Mark Gatiss as a “Who” writer. And writing stories for Sherlock Holmes was going to be all about puzzles, Moffat’s strength. So I watched. The first couple of seasons were clever and funny and suspenseful and if it was rather a boys’ club at least they’d created this Molly Hooper character who was developing and growing along with the boys. And I started shipping Sherlock and Molly because that’s the relationship that spoke to me.

The third season introduced Mary Morstan as John Watson’s love interest/fianceé/wife. This was not surprising - Moffat and Gatiss made no secret of their love of the original Arthur Conan Doyle canon. Amanda Abbington was cheeky and compassionate and fun in playing the character. But the blank slate of what happened to canon Mary Watson after the wedding was too tempting for Moffat and Gatiss: they wrote up a convoluted, impossible past for her and, by virtue of sticking to canon guns when it suited them, wrote themselves into a corner. No matter what kind of path they took in developing Mary Watson’s character, they were almost certainly going to kill her off and excuse themselves by crying “Canon!”

And they went about it in a terrible way, trapping themselves into no good choice. If the next two episodes spend too much time focusing on Sherlock and John’s grief as motivation for whatever is next, then Moffat and Gatiss will have fridged Mary. All the dazzling and competent bad-assery that Mary has shown during s3 and this episode will be worth nothing because her death is apparently the only way for Sherlock and John to have emotional growth and complexity. OR they brush it under the rug with a few bits of dialogue to show that the two men have reconciled and short-change the characters who *would* go through stages of grief in the aftermath and men deserve to have emotions as much as women in fiction and in real life.

I am of two minds about Mary throwing herself in front of the bullet for Sherlock. I can understand the lure of poetic justice, given that Mary shot Sherlock in the previous season but takes the bullet here. There’s character depth a-plenty in the idea that Mary felt she didn’t deserve that happy quiet life she tried for and went out by saving the life of a cherished friend. But given the extreme level of her competence in assassin stuff and survival skills, she didn’t have to take that bullet. In this very episode she pulled Sherlock out of the way when they were fired upon. To me, it felt like a too-easy shortcut for dramatic impact. Moffat, especially, takes these shortcuts all the time because he likes plot more and such shortcuts are usually at the expense of his female characters.

Something else that occurred to me is that while everyone involved may want another season of “Sherlock”, it’s getting quite difficult for them to pull it off as the demand for the actors’ time grows. This episode felt an awful lot like the fourth season of “Babylon 5″, where J. Michael Straczynski, knowing he might not get a fifth season, worked very hard to wrap up the two biggest dangling plot threads in the fourth season. The result is a very rushed downhill-without-brakes plot run, very unlike the longer, character-driven show that it was in the first three seasons (and then of course they *did* get the fifth season and there wasn’t as much to do...). Wrapping up Mary’s story within the first episode of three feels like that.

And, shades of “Doctor Who”, Mary’s death scene should have wrecked me. It didn’t, because Moffat and Gatiss found a way to make me not care so much about Mary after loving her so much in season 3. Because everything was about keeping plates spinning on sticks and building to “the big finale” of the episode/character.

Now, I may find my opinion changed after seeing the next two episodes. Maybe it won’t be over-the-top angst until the Big Bad forces our two heroes back together. It’s still possible for Moffat and Gatiss to end this on a strong note, rather than just a climactic one. But taking Mary out in such a poorly-thought-out way indicates that this really needs to be the last season of the show.

And in the meantime I will watch for my Molly and hope for the best for her character. And rely on fandom to supply me with what I need no matter what happens to her.

[a2jasont-blog]

Personal Study-An investigation into the use and development of chiaroscuro in fine art, film and photography

Chiaroscuro the Italian term which literally translates to light 'light-dark' originated from a form of Renaissance drawing on coloured paper, and was used to describe the technique of artist working towards light and dark using mediums such as ink, watercolour or body colour. There is some evidence that suggests the Romans or even the ancient Greeks applied this technique in their work. However, the European painting technique is first thought to be applied at its fullest by Leonardo da Vinci in the late 15th century.

Leonardo da Vinci, Benois Madonna, 1480 

(Top to bottom)

Caravaggio, David with the head of Goliath, 1610 

Caravaggio, The Calling of Saint Matthew, 1600

Da Vinci employed the technique to give his work the impression of three dimensions, for example in his painting “Benois Madonna”. The painting simply portrays a young Mary playing with her child, but Within the painting the use of Chiaroscuro is used to portray Mary as a warm and charming figure due to the lighter tones used on her skin, symbolising the light coming from the window in the foreground. The technique allows Da Vinci to achieve greater depth due to the intensity of colour creating a more intense feeling of luminosity and shade, which is achieved by Leonardo painting a broader range of light than what he appears to see. After Da Vinci’s use of the technique in the late 15th-century chiaroscuro became the main technique for many painters. By the late 17th century chiaroscuro became the common word for describing any painting that was dependent on the effect of extensive light and darkness. Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio was one of the artists that extensively used this technique. Caravaggio is widely recognised for his style of painting that utilises light to highlight specific points in his work. Caravaggio deployed the use of light to not only highlight specific points within compositions but also to heighten the emotional tension of figures within his work, and even deployed the technique to portray religious scenes. With support from the Pope Caravaggio produced a series of religious paintings depicting graphic sense full of blood and torture, all accentuated by sharp Chiaroscuro as seen in “David with the head of Goliath” and “The Calling of Saint Matthew”.  The painting “The calling of Saint Matthew” depicts the moment Matthew first realises he is being called, refereeing to the biblical tale of when Jesus called him into his service. The use of chiaroscuro in the composition can clearly be seen. Figures within the composition are drowned in shadows and dark tones to help enhance the single point of light from the right shining across the image to lead the view through the image and illuminate the key figure of saint Matthew as I have highlighted in the image. Caravaggio’s use of the technique influenced many other artists within the 17th century, leading to the golden age of Spanish art when these works entered Spain via the commercial harbour. 

John Alton, The Big Combo,1955

Francis Ford Coppola, The Godfather, 1972 

Rembrandt, The Night Watch,1642 

The influence chiaroscuro has had can also be seen in different mediums. As time passed and technologies developed it was inevitable that the technique of chiaroscuro would be applied in film. The contrast between dark and light would eventually become key features in defining the genre of film noir. The reason why Chiaroscuro became synonymous with film noir is due to the low budget the films were produced on in the 1940’s and 50’s. Due to a low budget, the quality of the sets suffered so the cinematographers would drape these cheap sets in darkness to improve the look, shining intense light on specific spots when they wanted to highlight something, creating great contrast within shots, as seen in the screenshot from John Alton’s “The Big Combo”. The low-key lighting used by cinematographers was used to enhance the existentialism and fatalism that later became staples of the genre. The use of chiaroscuro intensifies moments and can be used a metaphor for a character’s personality when paired with low-key lighting because of its ability to show distinctness between light and dark areas.  The technique was extremely successful and use has been used in film masterpieces such as “The Godfather”. The use of chiaroscuro can clearly be seen within the home office scenes within "The Godfather" with director Francis Ford Coppola using the technique to bring attention to the characters that he wants you to look at as shown in the still image I have included. Coppola’s arrangement of the mise en scene and use of chiaroscuro intelligently covers characters in shadows to highlight the godfather and highlighting the character’s importance. The way Coppola presents these scenes are reminiscent of "The Night Watch" by Rembrandt due to the similar use of lighting and muted colour tones to create a similar effect.

Alexandria Huff, Amanda, 2012

Rembrandt's use of lighting has also influenced the photography world with the term “Rembrandt lighting”. The term is used to describe the process of capturing a chiaroscuro image and is very popular due to its ability to capture compelling scenes with minimal equipment. Traditionally when taking photos, the key light is placed high, at the front and off centred with the fill light placed half height on the opposite side whereas with Rembrandt lighting the key is to create a diamond or triangle shape of light beneath the eye. The technique can be used to great effect to capture truly dramatic scenes and can be achieved subtly like the work of Alexandria Huff or very drastically like the work of Bill Henson. Alexandria Huff's adaptation of chiaroscuro as seen in her “Amanda” portrait shows how the technique can be used to create dramatic images without the need of casting deep shadows on the models face. The lack of shadows being cast allows for more intense light to hit the face, making the skin look more flawless and radiant then it would naturally appear. The relationship between light and skin presents the idea of hyperrealism as the light is making the image look so flawless it looks like a painting, like Caravaggio’s use of light to create realism in his work. 

Bill Henson, Untitled #115, 2000-03

Bill Henson, however, uses chiaroscuro to create the most dramatic scenes possible. Bill Henson uses the technique to create cold monochromatic images of modern mythology as seen in "Untitled #115". Henson uses Chiaroscuro in a similar way to the film noir directors of the 1940’s and 50’s to heighten the mood and portray a message. Henson wants to portray a transcendent message and uses theatrical lighting to help present it. The use of Chiaroscuro in Henson’s “Untitled #115” presents the idea of vulnerability by using intense lighting to create melodramatic scenes.

In conclusion, chiaroscuro is constantly influencing the world around it as different innovators find new and exciting ways to implement the technique into their work. from its humble beginnings as renaissance drawings to being used in one of the most critically acclaimed films of all time shows how the technique has evolved with the times. As it's evolved its original renaissance intention of creating dramatic effect has always stayed apparent throughout but with each new artists and period something new and exciting has happened. 

Word count-1219

Bibliography

https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/paintings/glossary/chiaroscuro

https://www.britannica.com/art/chiaroscuro

http://www.yareah.com/2012/08/11/baroque-painting-chiaroscuro-vs-movement/

https://whatisfilmnoir.wordpress.com/tag/chiaroscuro-lighting/

http://fromaclearerworld.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/chiaroscuro-in-film.html

https://storify.com/YvonneNjuguna/the-use-of-chiaroscuro-in-film

http://www.thephotoargus.com/35-gorgeous-examples-chiaroscuro-photography/

http://spokenvision.com/chiaroscuro/